#IM STARTING TO GET BURIED THEReS SO MANY WORDS

[twerkstallion]

h.hey multichapter writers. how do you stay organized. how do you do it.

[s0apmactav1sh]

More knight!reader and king!price since Im sick atm so this is very self indulgant.

Cw: fluff and smut.

Thinking about the days where price gets sick, coming down with a cold, his nose blocked, throat completely dry, constant coughs he seems to be having and of course the headaches he just cant seem to shake. Theres not a single word spoken about the king being sick as it would only cause havoc within the kingdom as most would be worried about their poor kings health and wanting to bring gifts in hopes that he got better. But then theres you. His devoted knight and his lover laying underneath him allowing him to take your warmth from you since he's 'freezing' as he's told you.

Of course you dont believe that he is, since he ran up a temperature of 39.7° and he was hot to the touch but you would indulge in his little lies since he seemed so happy to be laying on your bare chest. The castle servents and guards however go about their days not coming near the kings chambers since he specifically requested that no one disturb him as he rested up and gained his strength back.

King!Price just expects you to dote on him, to make him feel small even though your not that much taller than him and by order of your king you do. Giving him loving kisses on the top of his head, rubbing his back soothingly when he complains of an ache there, holding a cold towel over his forehead to help with his temperature and helping him undress when he gives out again about being to warm now.

He cant be the only one naked, that be madness so like the obediant knight you are you undress after him and go back to laying as you once were only now the both of you are naked. And so after a few minute of mindless cuddling price starts fidgeting and twisting and turning saying hes only trying to get comfortable even though you can feel him subtlely grinding against your softened cock. But as a knight your not easily seduced. Even if it is your king whos trying to tempt you to bed him.

You who just does have it in you to let him grind against you, using your strenght to flip him onto his bath while hovering over him, the veins in your arms practically bulging out and price is drooling at the sight. His own cock was hard and dribbling a pathetic amount of precum just at the sight of you above him. And who are you to deny the whimpery little 'please' he lets out. Just like that his legs are thrown over your shoulders and your face is buried between his cheeks as you eat him out, using one hand to keep his hips steady and the other to finger his hole open to take your cock.

And by the time you deem him ready he's already finished his second orgams all because of your fingers pressing against his prostate and the way you so expertly ate him out like a man starved. But even with all the stretching he still feels like he's beinf split open of your cock. Each inch going into him having him whining and moaning for more. And once your finally fully inside of him its price who starts trying to move so soon which has you gripping his waist with a bruising grip he'd think you were about to weld him like you would your sword.

Prices hands are moved to your shoulders, his legs wrapped around your waist as you pound him into the soft mattress below you both. Each thrust sending mindblowing pleasure through him and you, his hole constantly clenching tighter around you as you do. His moans are nearly echoed off the walls with how loud he's gotten and you almost feel bad on the poor souls who do unfortunately pass by the room because hes just being so mouthy, begging and pleading for what your already giving him. Mindblowing pleasure. You dont think of your own pleasure just making him orgams as many time as he needs until he is shaking from any form of stimulation to his lower parts.

He's almost disappointed that you never came a small pout on his face even as you so graciously pull out and go draw him a bath adding in his expensive bath salts he likes so much. Even as you pick him up and bring him to the bath placing him so gently into the water before getting in behind him to wash him off. You even deny his offer of a handjob or a blowjob that he wants to give a thanks. But no, you clean off his chest and stomach from the semen he splattered all over himself massging any aread where it may be sore. You even help him get dressed, choosing more soft things for him to wear. And if it wasnt enough that you did all that you even changed the sheets on the bed so he wouldnt have to sleep in dirty ones.

Amd even after all that you still got in beside him to cuddle him once again mumbling out a small reason as to why your not deserving of pleasure because of the blood on your hands the thousands of lives youve taken all to protect the kingdom. He nearly gets out a word but the way your hands are making small circles on his back have him dozing off before he can convince you that you are deserving of pleasure. You dont sleep that night still watching over him like a gaurd should be able to do.

A knight like you would never know the word pleasure nor the word pain because you had lost to much and gained so little that they no longer mattered.

_

I dunno what this is either but yh count it as fluff count it as angst count it as whatever you want but yh this is mostly just something i wrote bc im sick and prolly wont write for a few days till im better. Sorry for the misspelt words but just ignore them anyways enjoy :)

@rodolfoparras

[mugentakeda]

i just loveeeee the idea that there was a big gap of understanding between lu ten and iroh the same way theres a big gap of understanding between zuko and iroh. mistakes that iroh didnt realize he made with his son he then also made with his nephew and still not realizing it. a whole world of things about lu ten that iroh didnt know about, and will never know about. im gonna talk about it though because i am insane so look away from my cringe

lu ten had gone to his father with problems before, and iroh cant help but wonder, now, if his son had ever been trying to imply deeper things in between sugarcoated words because there were things you just didnt say in the palace, and irohs head had been so far up his ass he hadnt seen it. despite it being waved practically right in his face by his son, desperate for sound advice from his father, whos brain was too waterlogged by thoughts of how he was going to pull off his next bloody conquest. like how zuko was always howling for help, hurt and confused like a cornered animal, hidden deep under his fits of rage, and irohs head was Still so far up his ass that he kept meeting zukos silent begging for straightforward guidance with convoluted proverbs. he can sit here and bury his face in his hands in shame over the sheer amount of times hed failed his nephew without realizing, and how much convincing it'll take to get his nephew to understand that yes, iroh did fail him so many times, and he couldve prevented so much suffering simply by holding himself to the same standards he held his nephew to. all those times during those three years before the avatar returned that he couldve done something. sit here and think about how sad it is that he has to even try hard to convince his nephew such a thing, how sad it is that he finally got zuko to stop seeing ozai as some all-wise god that can do no error as a father, just for zuko to start seeing iroh as some all-wise god that has done no error as an uncle. but he can at least go and do something about it. he can never do something about what he did to his son. the things he knows he did, the things he doesnt know he did, and everything in between. he will never find out what lu ten truly thought about him. he will never have that reconciliation, that silent scream of relief and violent shiver in the crook of his neck that zuko gave when iroh yanked him in close after their separation, with his lu ten. he just has to hear about his own son through word of mouth and somehow be content with that. and worst of all, its all his own and his god damned family's fault. no amount of healing and learning by trying to do right by zuko and the world he helped nearly ruin not much more than a half decade ago can act as a balm for the agony that brings him. he knows healing his guilty conscience isnt supposed to even be a reason for why he helped the avatar, but god- it's when the rationality leaves him and he realizes that this is something he cant seem to make himself be the bigger person in. he knows its his own fault, that there are hundreds- thousands, maybe- of earth kingdom sons he personally stole from earth kingdom fathers, and only gave up on his siege when the consequences of his war came into his own backyard, but he cant help it. doesnt want to help it. hes still angry and hateful anyway. his son should still be here. his son should still be here. his son should still be here. and if he tells zuko about how much he still hates himself as both an uncle and a father, zuko will definitely rush to reassure him, all the while he is chained to his desk and meetings day in and day out, fixing this uncles mistakes best he can, losing sleep and forgetting to eat. none of it will mean anything to zuko, if it means he can make his uncle feel better. and if that happens, iroh might actually vomit in front of his nephew.

[diduthinkihadforgotten]

i’m not used to people caring about me in the way i actually need or want. babe, you scare me a bit. there’s a reason i fuck everything up before anything has the chance to be anything more than a pipe dream.

i start talking to her vaguely, drunkenly, about vulnerability. i crave it, but i can’t take it. i get it, and i get scared in the way a raccoon does at night when you shine a flashlight at it while its rifling through your trash.

i need it though. in that not-too-soft, but still there, somehow, against every odd way not a single soul has been able to replicate. believe me when i say i’ve tried. when i say i’ve told you what i want.

there’s a reason i do everything drunk. impaired. whatever adjective lets me view everything that happens as some sort of third party.

i care about you, but somehow not enough. somehow never in the right way. i compensate by romanticizing everything in the worst way. i’ll fixate on the terrible parts of everything and then fall in my version of love with it.

i’ll tell people i love the things i know im supposed to. your hand in my hair, the smile you give me when i make a dumb nonsequiter joke that isn’t worth the effort it takes to laugh. but if i were honest with myself, with anyone; i live for the parts that should be red flags.

i think of you pulling on my chain like a dog. your bruising grip on me in the club whenever i spoke to another man.

i tell her i’m the person everyone calls when people even remotely in my life have emergencies. i’d still pick up for everyone i haven’t spoken to since august. every time a spammer calls i answer anyway.

i couldn’t say what drives me to that. that desperate desire to be wanted. like an animal in a shelter, babe, i’ll do whatever if it means you’ll take me home and hold me close til you get tired of being what i need you to be.

‘it doesn’t take much,’ i tell her. i fall easy when i deem it worth it and boy do i fall hard.

i wanna say you’re different. some part of me says i knew it’d be like this, the opposing side says something about how i call bullshit on everything as some type of avoidance.

she tells me i’m a commitment-phobe. that i hide from everything except her son, who is the only human being on the planet who has never asked a damn thing from me.

(when i say im a dad, i mean for a year and 11 months i was the pseudo parent for a terminally ill toddler. i still mean it because now it’s been two years and change since i’ve been a functional parent for a kid who has no real mother or father.)

mostly because he lacks the words to tell me he needs more. everyone needs more than i can humanly give but i still give it willingly. who cares if you’re sucking the marrow from my discarded bones. i wasn’t using it anyway, right? i’m sure you need it more.

it’s easier for me to tell my secrets here. where i’m hiding in plain sight and nothing i say or do particularly matters so long as i string words together in ways people can shoehorn themselves between.

all this to say you do it different. it’s easier for me to detach myself completely and be honest in the way i know im supposed to when you’re a couple hundred miles away and more in love with the idea of who i am than the real self that always lurks just out of your line of sight.

you know i’m mean. cold hearted. some deep seated issues with intimacy buried so deep it’ll take one of my parents dying to ever actually address in any real or meaningful way. you hold my hand in the club anyway.

somehow you recognize the far off and terrified look in my eyes when my disconnected brain actually does the math on how many people i’m in a room with.

and you ask if i’m ok. you take me somewhere quiet enough where i can hear myself think and you hold onto my fragile wrists just tight enough to remind me that i live on this planet with every other bastard with two hands and a heart.

somehow you recognize a different lilt in my forced laugh when i’m poking fun at myself and theres something behind your eyes that betrays a level of care i never expected or saw coming from you. you look me in the eyes just enough, with just enough callousness that i do believe you when you tell me, perhaps begrudgingly, that you care whether i live or die. that you like my company.

she tells me you’re perfect and i suspect for a moment that she also knows me better than i’d like to acknowledge. i understand from her perspective. i understand from my own if im being fully honest. she says that the way you spoke about me, half asleep and half drunk, wrapped around me like you’d die if you took your hand off of me- no chance you thought this was anything other than exactly what i needed.

in spite of it all. every year that’s passed, every poorly received joke, every drunk phone call, you’re still here.

she says you were obviously waiting. that you aren’t disappointed by what you got after all of it.

but you’re here. after everything you’re still here. your head on my chest and my hands on your shoulders and i don’t want to ever be anywhere else.

i can’t shut up about you, you know. i play coy with my family. tell them i’ve got a musician friend in the desert with curly hair and a penchant for off color jokes. tell my friends i need to make you my wife and refuse to elaborate when they inevitably ask for details. you know better than anyone i like keeping my secrets.

somehow you’ve managed to figure me out. the important bits at least. the parts i try my hardest to hide. there will be time for everything else later.

[okthatsgreat]

that reblog about asking random questions about fics..... hmmmm. ive been curious for a while now - what's your thought process behind opddmh? any particular theme you've had fun exploring, or a potential overarching idea? i love hearing people explain the intricacies of their writing processes

ohhhhh my god oh my god. you have unleashed something within me ohhhhh my god. something cringe is awakening something very cringe is happening to me right now

referring to this post, talking about this fic :]

(im gonna put all of this under read more for the people that dont want to read this LMAO)

OKAY. TIME TO GET SO STUPID. IM SO SORRY FOR BEING LIKE THIS

at the core of this fic is trauma-- it's a story about emerging from indescribable pain and horror, only to walk into a world that treats you as a spectacle and your pain as entertainment. so much of opddmh's themes come from trauma, as every character's pov deals with it in distinct ways, none of which are particularly healthy LMAO. going into each characters pov, my thought process is always concerning how they would react to the situation in front of them, but always keeping that trauma over them as another deciding (often overpowering) factor. makoto at his core is still a caring man, but he has been so deprived by the company that has kept him there for so long that his natural response to unpleasant emotions or thoughts is to bury it in sake of putting on a show. mikan has always been very timid and regretful, but now many of her actions are sincerely doubted as being selfish or secretly evil, a temperament only aggravated by her status as blackened. akane's desire to "be strong" has only worsened to an extreme degree, as her first instinct is to drop anybody that could possibly remind her of weakness or the killing game.

these are killing game participants who are no longer the children they were when all of this started, people who did not sign up for this but have to keep going anyways-- and i LOVE exploring the implication of that postgame it is like a drug to me. theyve gone through unimaginable horror, most of them dont have families they can return to, and everybody in the world knows them as a beloved tv character. the only way for them to survive is to adapt, a strategy that not all of them have mastered. makoto, whose title as ultimate hope has been watered down sooooo so much, is the POSTER child (literally) for adapting, while characters like akane have still been significantly silenced by danganronpa but are unable to adapt entirely. it was important to me that i had povs which were different yet cohesive, and were able to convey the range of survival that these older participants have :] and this includes the secret fifth pov that hasnt been introduced yet >:)

these are no longer people in the public's eyes as much as they are entertainers (which by the way, i love writing this aspect of postgame dr lololol the PERFORMANCE of it all). my friend lily made such a good comment about it at one point and i dont remember her exact words but it was something along the lines of "the audience doesn't want the performer, they want the performance" which is soo true of this universe in particular. so when i write these different people i like to keep in mind the person they are and they person they present themselves as. so many of the older participants are so jaded its insane

but then theres v3!! there are NEW kids here. trauma is so important as a theme when it comes to how these characters interact with each other, and ESPECIALLY how the older characters are able to see themselves in the younger ones. a lot of the character dynamics were chosen deliberately so that the v3 kids mirror the older participants!!!!!!!!!!!!! v3 hasn't been desensitised just yet, they haven't lost touch with their anger and sadness and fear like a lot of the older participants have. i find it important while writing to remember how NEW these kids are, especially when it comes to writing people like miu, who isn't ready to give in to danganronpa conformity just yet and is trying her hardest to be better (or at the very least, not the same miu iruma, ultimate inventor that everybody watched on their television screens). and then of course you have characters like angie and rantaro, who are DEEEEEEEEP in denial and unable to properly move out of that first stage of grief just yet lmao. they are fortunate(????) enough that the journey they go through is a lot more private than some of the other characters can say theirs were. a lot of the time i write about the newer v3 participants i make an effort to refer to them as young or as children/teens because they Are. theyre so Young and it definitely effects how they handle themselves !!!

so much of this fic is about trauma but so much of it is finding strength in others as well, even if its moving slowly towards it lol. it's important to me that there is hope in the fic, that even though it feels like they are very isolated at the moment they arent entirely alone. things get worse before they get better but they do get better and i wanted there to be peace in the relationships they build with each other

also fun fact this story was originally a one shot where miu jumps into makotos car they chat and then he drops her back where she came from lol! would have really cut this story short!

n e ways thank you anonymous i love you <3 so so sorry for being so serious about my own fic ghfdjhgsdjhgkfdjhgdksghfskjghdj </3

[asummersday]

👻🎁💥💡

👻 What is your wildest headcanon?

the kids set a fire in the living room.

april one day finds out theyve never had s’mores. shes rightfully horrified (ahh the wonders of being 11). they can’t exactly go camping, so they make do. when splinter goes to bed, they all sneak into the living room, make tents out of blankets, build a LITERAL fire pit with stones and all that they collected from the sewers (after removing the rug, so it doesn’t burn. raph is wise. he is still literally 10) and start a fire. they have marshmallows, hershey’s chocolate, graham crackers. they prepared ghost stories. thing is though. theres no ventilation. it’s a sewer. so smoke fills up the living room after like 2 hours. they panic, douse the fire, it makes it WORSE. mikey, in tears (from panic and smoke), goes running WAILING to wake splinter.

his FACE when this poor man walked into his living room at 3am to find his kids freaking out and smoke EVERYWHERE 😭 the patience on this man. the shit he’s had to deal with omg. (the s’mores were delicious though. they make them again, but without setting a fire in the fucking living room this time)

(im so glad i got to share this headcanon i came up with at like 3am that had me losing my whole fucking mind. i have a whole page of headcanons for this show i am so unwell 🫶)

🎁 Have a piece of a WIP you want to share?

of course! here u go :3

Mikey shifts in the bed, getting closer to Leo until he can feel his little brother pressing against his shell. “You know you can tell us if something’s wrong, right?” he asks quietly. Leo turns his head until his face is buried into his pillow and sighs, heavy and deep. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he mumbles back, muffled. He hears Mikey sigh, defeated. The slider half expects his brother to get up and leave, frustrated. He knows Donnie and Raph are annoyed with him, and he can’t really blame them for it. It’s not like Leo’s being difficult on purpose. At least mostly. But Mikey doesn’t leave. He stays, and drapes an arm over Leo in a half-hug. “That’s fine, too. I’ll be here when you’re ready.” There’s a lump in his throat and his eyes burn at the words. Leo doesn’t trust his voice so he just gives a quick nod and reaches with a shaking hand for Mikey’s, locking their fingers together and squeezing tight when he finds it.

💥 What is one canon thing that you wish you could change?

letting karai live for at least longer than 2 episodes. i totally get why that didn't happen, but if i could change ANYTHING honestly i'd love to see karai develop a relationship with Splinter and the turtles and train their ninpo and stuff. we could've had it all :((

💡How many WIPs do you currently have?

oh i love this question! so so many :)

but for ones im actively working on in this fandom? 5. there will be more as i continue planning for whumptober tho ;)

thank you for the ask!!! <333

Fanfic Writer Ask Game

[lordoftablecloths]

vent post i guess i dont know i just wanted to write stuff down instead of just go ing to bed and crying over it you can just scroll past it

im fine im sane im noramal im so unbleiveably cringe ,, the only person i have irl- fuck, or even online for that matter- to show the dumbass things i write is my silly little dumbass younger brother who doesn;t understand what im trying to get at and i guess its not his fault, i seriously doubt he's spent unhealthy amounts of time making various short scenerios in his head about charcters he came up with and eventually trying to give them a story and write little things about them in google docs because where else am i supposed to put this and its just ,, he doesnt know wht im trying to do and i dont know how to explain it to him because the "history" i gess behind it is so fucking complicated by now that these characters arent even the same characters as they were when i originally created them, other than some physical attributes and their names and he just knows them as the random cringe shit i made up in middle school but so many years have passed by now that these stupid fuckers whose only purpose to serve is to make me stop remembering that i exist and ive gotten too attatched to them because who else was i supposed to get attatched to when i was going through an identity crisis at the time- and, quite frankly, still fucking am- and it was so much easier to pretend i dont exist and just project my flaws and insecurities and underlying subconcsious thoughts into these charactes that no one knows about except me and oh god im just created a long ass vent post on tumblr that no one's going to read and no one understands the story behind fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck whatever ill go ahead and post this unfinished thing because no one's going to get it either way ill probably delete it later if it doesnt get buried under reblogs

dont think too much about this i just got sad because my brother was giving me a bunch of criticism on an outline of a story i was working on- which is fair, i need to take criticism- but he only knows the characters in it as their semi-formed cringe versions so i chickened out half way and now i feel bad because i was really proud of this thing for the whopping span of like one day before i decided to show it to another human person instead of letting it rot away inside of me like i usually do and now i feel bad about my writing skills

im trying so hard to just take his words with a grain of salt because this kid does not have nearly as much experience with writing as i do, but i feel like im copying too many of my inspirations (DnD, generic fantasy story about defeating evil creature, silly tropes, etc,,) which sucks because that was just like the first two pages of the outline and theres nine fucking pages and like the second half of it was what i put the most effort into and i felt like the ideas were really origianl but i could make myself let him naturally get to that part of the outline because i was starting to feel really bad and wieerd and oh god he is looking at ideas i havent ever expressed to another human person even though i am very familaiar with because i came up with them and they havebeen in my head for at least a year or two by now and have been haunting me ever since so instead of skipping ahead to the parts that were really good in my opinion but would have made no sense without context i just told him to piss off i gues s

i dont know. i feel dumb. i feel stupid. ive put so much effort into this stuff and the concept that ive been wasting my time feels like too heavy of a weight to handle. god none of this porbobably nmakes any sense ,,,,,,,,, i guess this is why i feel miserable when the fanart and shitpost memes i post get a comically larger audience and attention than the art relating to my silly goofy ocs, because these stupid fucking characters are all thats keeping me going . call me cringe, but is it still cringe if the concept that maybe i too can be around people that love me and instead of having to like me in spite of my faults love me for them keeps me from fucking killing myself is it still cringe?

if a tree falls in a forest and no one's around, does its fall even make a sound? (shit piss fuck sorry i dont remember the original quote and all i can remember is tha t one line from that one musical i dont remember what it was)

if an autistic moron that cant even talk to a cashier without having a panic attack makes a universe full of fictional characters of his own cfreation then an alternate universe, then several alternate universes, then a spin off from that original universe and etc etc but its all just on google fucking docs and no where else except deleted excerpts from a dead wattpad account, did he ever even create anything at all?

its pointless. its all so fucking pointless. its a waste of time. why do i do this at all. its so fucking pointless. it makes no fucking sense. you cant just make a story with characters in it, then make a fucking fantasy au of that universe with the same characters but with different designs and wildly different personalities and then make a whole fucking complicated lore-filled story about the fantasy au version while the original universe's story is still left mostly unfinished like forget about a first draft of the text i havent even finished the first ddraft of the outline yet buckarooooooo

okay fuck you guys thats all i want to tell you im going to go pretend to myself to try to go to sleep and then cry now

[bingobongobonko]

im so fucking sleepy but also. OHHHH. OHHHHHH. YESTERDAT OHHHHHHH. guy who made a looney tunes entrance into the wall and immediately started arguing with kass because her clone fucking tried to kill me. and then she doxxed my mech and was like. can you even fucking USE that thing you senile old man. and then i one-shot crit a guy before looking her right in her direction. we stay sssoooo sillay we stay sooo sillay. rp wise, oh myyyyvgod they were arguing for half the fucking fight. mostly yves feedin it and getting on kass's case, accusing her of knowing she had a shitton of clones running around even though she had NO idea. but yves i mean. reasonably mad cuz she shot him + kidnapped elias + saw The Nothing. and yves finally met Treasure, freaked yhe fuck out, before realizing that the Treasure understood their reality and had witnessed all of this before. and honestly yves is desperate to not feel absolutely fucking unhinged about this so he breaks into private comms and begs him to help them figure out how the fuck to leave the timeloop. but.... very cryptic response, maybe hopeful. they just gotta bury the clown. before yves can get further word in, his comms suddenly jam and he's forced into battle. battle continues 2 go on, until rest of the team makes it to the control point, but TWO[2] issues, yves is kinda still trudging thru water to get to the point, and the point is being contested by a big guy. so i enter sillaaaay juggernaut mode and slam right into this guy with my mech, pushin him way back from us. HOWEVER. it doesnt go prone and retaliates next turn 2 contest the point. HOWEEEEEVER... telly fucking dives in, pins, and drills the fucking big guy. A crit. no less. guy is still standing... then fucking TREASURE.... COMES IN AND JUST STABS IT 2 DEATH... OVERKILLL... ANOTHER CRIT. so its a flawless fucking win, we have the point. at that rate we're like. aaaalright we gotta get the hell out of here actually, telly's all suspicious abt yves having been gone for so long but yves just kinda says. lol we were kidnapped yeah. for the most part everyone believes that - except jeurgen who just finds it suspicious that yves isnt elaborating. while thats happenin, skink's out and about lookin around these rooms she found. one's just a rreally shitty dormroom filled with bunk beds. the other? well........... after yves explains the situation - or at least what he wants them to believe - he turns back to elias, who i forgot 2 mention has been in the mech with yves the whole time. expanded compartment, he's just hangin out and tryna not to die. but yea yves just rambles to elias about the whole ordeal. about skink. about the fact that he overheard from tellius that elias had seen the same woman before. he knows who skink is. and he knows there's seemingly more than one. and one in helios, ironically enough. and its rlly funny cuz this is happening at the same time that skink's opening this upper room and realizing whats in there. so like as soon as yves assures himself, yeah skink is one of many clones, and one of her clones IS the Fool. flash to the actual room where skink is, its fucking filled with like. chambers.... of HER.... a bunch of clones........... and shes like. Oh. and telly, jeurgen see it too. and theyre like. Oh. theres also a terminal that we uncover, all of which details messages between a skink and someone else. and all of it is eerily descriptive of everything that happened now. everything thats gone wrong, the Fool's had her hand in it. her clone is the reason why any of this is being initiated...... funny thing. i cant even say clone. bc the fool IS the original skink. our skink's a clone of her. so...... head in hands... i know widow was brought up, was a program on yorrik 5 if i remember correctly. elias knew about it, cuz he was tasked to keep an eye on the woman that made it off. The fool!!!!!!!! it's all fucking falling on our head i think. we're sooo fucked we're so fucked

[nethervox]

tag ppl you want to get to know better

tagged by @heavensw4rd

tagging no one in particular bc im shy o_o but if any oomfs see this n wanna do it u can say i tagged u ok? <3

ITS LONG SORRY here is a read more

LAST SONG: athena - nova twins ✧ pulled from my most recent liked songs bc i dont listen to that much music,,

CURRENTLY WATCHING: dungeon meshi ✧ ITS SO FUN, the anime release finally got me off my ass to start reading the manga. ive gotten through the first 4 volumes so far but now i wanna give the anime a bit to catch up to that point before i read any further

THREE SHIPS:

Linhardt/Mitsue/Fray - "who the fuck are those first two" well they are from my brain <3 linhardt is my wol who was drafted into being gods silliest soldier and he is coping w that very well. smiling. mitsue is my other wol but they dont have the echo, they were born in a wet cardboard box all alone. poorly socialized hydrogen baby. genuinely itd take so many words to describe what the deal w these three is that i do not have the space for here. i am so normal abt them

Marcille/Falin - havent gotten that far ofc but from what i have seen + ooc later panels (bc nobody tags their Fucking spoilers) they are doing crazy things to each others brains. women SHINE 💗✨💖💞

Shulk/(A)lvis - they are so **** coded its not even funny. i need to watch xb1 again actually its been ages

FAVORITE COLOR: (posting from my purple blog with my blue/purple sona and my purple phone) i like pink :3c

CURRENTLY CONSUMING: i had coffee w a beso, it had pineapple jelly in it :) idk what im gonna have later tho, theres not that much here... instant ramen sweep i guess

FIRST SHIP: girl idk. mario/peach??? i drew a comic abt them in my journal when i was six. i probably still have it buried somewhere in my closet. can you tell im not that big into shipping actually

PLACE OF BIRTH: texas 🧍

CURRENT LOCATION: still texas but a diff part of it now, as of last november. dont care for it.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: CELIBACY 💃💃

LAST MOVIE: lotr fellowship of the ring ✧ watched the extended edition over discord while i worked and got very little done that night. movies are cool i think

CURRENTLY WORKING ON:

updating refs for art fight like i said i was gonna do last year (i am still putting it off at this very moment. please yell at me to stop that)

rotating a new oc who is a possessed suit of armor. its like if a colony of mold decided to be a person. my little silly

[just-some-random-blogger]

happy Valentines day, me lovie! you better feel all the love im mentally giving you! we dont really celebrate it but if you do, hope today you fell x1000 loved than usual if its possible. 'you made a tie from scratch' yeah its a gift for a friend. 'I FELT SO BAD THAT MY GRANDMA HAD TO DO THAT' ig she wasnt feeling that bad bc she did it for you and (i hope) she loves you. im sorry for your dressmaking elective( i liked them at school. 'i was really tired cos i was overthinking about my assignments' oooh im so sorry for you poor girl TT im glad its ok. or was ok. hows it? 'there was unfortunately no place to bury' cities suck when it comes to these things. 'BECAUSE IF ST PETERSBURG CAN GET 30 DEGS WTF' 1) its not the north-north so the climat is more continental 2) idk what about you but i feel global warming strongly💀 its literally hotter. while in my childhood the snow in my hometown started to fall in the beginning of october, now its nearly november? its like a BIG thing. 'now you believe in science /:' ?? 'people like veiny hands on men' 1) not only 2) i like your talented hands on you, veiny or not. 'society makes me questions things about myself' our society is VERY questionable itself so? maybe we all need to make IT question itself. it has too much fetishizm about everything. when a mere part of humans body becomes not just an instrument for living but an object for filthy jokes and sexulizing? its awful. i want to talk about how beauty dont exist and all TT guys we wanted to be more open-minded and get rid of stereotypes but weve gone wrong way ig TT 'DO PART TWOS WHEN IM SO AGAINST THEM' i said if you want to! you absolutely dont have to. 'if you knew of my stark' did you forget how i literally requested the part with caraxes TT 'who’s the actor?' danila kozlovsky. you dont get it rn but i cringed SM when i found out TT he used to be a popular young actor, the most handsome. but now he makes pure cringe and acts bad TT 'force myself to be confident enough to share them' omg i didnt even know you can draw??? you totally should share EVERYTHING you want. They keep talkin’, I keep walkin' yk? itzys not lying. ensaymada looks good. im so sorry for what it did to you TT hope today you feel alright? 'I DONT GET IT' i dont know how to help you further TT 'you didnt even say anything!' im sure i did TT but ok if you dont like doctor who im not gonna foce you to watch it. im not cruel yk 'AEMMA WOULS SO BE HIS SUPPORTIVE BESTIE' #aemma and daemon chaotic besties x #vissy and yn mom besties. i believe my truth. im blind to anything else. 'i would be so sad if i knew you were a lonely eternal being' yk its literally doctor who.... i have a heartbreaking dw idea but i know no authors TT nvm. youre such a precious lovely cutie🥺 thanks for all love you give to me TT im luvluvluv you<з 'rhaenyras a baby' i said BACK then TT like when the first daemon died and all TT was rhae a baby? was aemma alive?... 'theres only one daemon and thats me' HFJJDJ how presumptuously of him esp when the daemon yn loved, was married to and waited for is the old daemon I (was he first? i dont remember). 'aegon would take it worse' no but in this case itll be even worse bc hed be completely alone. hed have noone to share this news and his feelings with... like yn is occupied with daemon, aemonds in disbelief, royal family is another thing so hes alone. alone with his broken heart, with his shock and with his alcoholism( i can imagine one (1) night vissy take daemon to event so yn have a spare night and she go to the bar it all started in to see her pretty boy. and by the end of his shift hes drinking and crying and screaming telling yn how he loved her and needed a couple of words from her but she was too busy with dae. 'if we make it past p5' its already 3 and you had so many plans... 'its like smth you say when you wanna manifest' oh cute. love learning the stories behind some media things. 'im interested' i was supposed to write it here but ive no symbols TT so stay positive! have a good day! be my valentine! take care! luv u<з

VALENTINES DAY IS A CAPITALISM PLOT BUT HAPPY HEARTS DAY

happy Valentines day, me lovie! you better feel all the love im mentally giving you!

what if i dont

we dont really celebrate it but if you do, hope today you fell x1000 loved than usual if its possible.

i dont celebrate it either but thank you <3 i appreciate it <3

'you made a tie from scratch' yeah its a gift for a friend.

AW THATS SO SWEET

'I FELT SO BAD THAT MY GRANDMA HAD TO DO THAT' ig she wasnt feeling that bad bc she did it for you and (i hope) she loves you.

?????????? SHE NAMED THE CAT PUTOL FOR US?????? HAHAHAHA HELP????

im sorry for your dressmaking elective( i liked them at school.

i remember waiting for that year to end so badly because i HATED every day i had to go there

'i was really tired cos i was overthinking about my assignments' oooh im so sorry for you poor girl TT im glad its ok. or was ok. hows it?

its fine i felt super stupid cause i had no idea what to do and my head hurt and i was ont he brink of tears and i did myself a favor and escaped n wrote a pedro pascal fic to feel better. i didnt i hated it. i thought it was so unfunny and bad so i was SO T_T to touched and happy to wake up to so many people saying that they laughed so hard because of it T_T

'there was unfortunately no place to bury' cities suck when it comes to these things.

cities = L

'BECAUSE IF ST PETERSBURG CAN GET 30 DEGS WTF' 1) its not the north-north so the climat is more continental 2) idk what about you but i feel global warming strongly💀 its literally hotter. while in my childhood the snow in my hometown started to fall in the beginning of october, now its nearly november? its like a BIG thing.

NO UR SO RIGHT it used to be so aesthetically warm #goldenhour during 8am here, you could stay in the sun and get a tan. NOW 7AM SUNLIGHT BURNS ITS FUCKING CANCER ITS HORRIBLE

'now you believe in science /:' ??

HAHAH COS U WERE LIKE 0 deg is fine when i was like ITS SCIENTIFICALLY FREEZING POINT /: HAHHAAH

'people like veiny hands on men' 1) not only 2) i like your talented hands on you, veiny or not. 'society makes me questions things about myself' our society is VERY questionable itself so? maybe we all need to make IT question itself.

it has too much fetishizm about everything. when a mere part of humans body becomes not just an instrument for living but an object for filthy jokes and sexulizing? its awful. i want to talk about how beauty dont exist and all TT guys we wanted to be more open-minded and get rid of stereotypes but weve gone wrong way ig TT

ur so right. but based on this one tiktok i watched where she was a criminology major, she talked about how everything sexualized that isnt sex organs are fetish so and it really made me go, she gotta point cos a child i never understood what it was about boobs or butts? its social conditioning. ig humans just kinky and L

'DO PART TWOS WHEN IM SO AGAINST THEM' i said if you want to! you absolutely dont have to.

but i love you 😡

'if you knew of my stark' did you forget how i literally requested the part with caraxes TT

i did 😗🍵👌 #signs of aging

'who’s the actor?' danila kozlovsky. you dont get it rn but i cringed SM when i found out TT he used to be a popular young actor, the most handsome. but now he makes pure cringe and acts bad TT

WAIT OMG FR I LOVE DANILA HE WAS ONE OF THE REASONS WHY I LOVE RUSSIAN NAMES BECAUSE HIS NAME IS LITERALLY 'FEMENINE' AT LEAST TO ME COS AGAIN SPAIN AND FEM SPANISH NAMES END WITH A WAIT WHY IS HE CRINGE NOW T_T i watched him in vampire academy and i LOVEEEEEDDD the film, it was such a shame they never continued and apparently the new series is SO BAD so bad that they changed danila's character who is russian to someone english, and i saw a post talking about how integral him being russian was for his character T_T so HAHAHAHAHA RIP

anyway mayhap you think its cringe but idk i love stuff like that HAHAH brb im gonna go look for vampire academy stuff AHAHA

ok im back its mixed with the tv show so i couldnt find much

'force myself to be confident enough to share them' omg i didnt even know you can draw??? you totally should share EVERYTHING you want.

T_T im trying. i have drawings on my instagram so if you want to see them theyre there

They keep talkin’, I keep walkin' yk? itzys not lying.

queens

ensaymada looks good. im so sorry for what it did to you TT hope today you feel alright?

ngl im thinking about eating one right now and my body said NO now i feel like puking T_T

'I DONT GET IT' i dont know how to help you further TT

it be like that

'you didnt even say anything!' im sure i did TT but ok if you dont like doctor who im not gonna foce you to watch it. im not cruel yk

T_T GIVE ME AN EPISODE AN EPISODE NUMBER GIVE ME IT AND ILL WATCH IT YOU WHINY BABY

'AEMMA WOULS SO BE HIS SUPPORTIVE BESTIE' #aemma and daemon chaotic besties x #vissy and yn mom besties. i believe my truth. im blind to anything else.

YOUR TRUTH IS SO CANON

'i would be so sad if i knew you were a lonely eternal being' yk its literally doctor who.... i have a heartbreaking dw idea but i know no authors TT nvm.

you can tell me. i know the doctor well enough to write it if i wanted. all i need is those 3 episodes [crack knuckles]

youre such a precious lovely cutie🥺 thanks for all love you give to me TT im luvluvluv you<з

'rhaenyras a baby' i said BACK then TT like when the first daemon died and all TT was rhae a baby? was aemma alive?...

ah ok HAHAH. idk we'll see how everyone reacts. nah yn is her second wife. daemon karate chopped rhea like the rat he is cos hes a man bOOO ok NVM NVM I WANT READER TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH AEMMA SO NO SHE IS DAEMONS FIRST WIFE THE ONE AND THE ONLY <3

'theres only one daemon and thats me' HFJJDJ how presumptuously of him esp when the daemon yn loved, was married to and waited for is the old daemon I (was he first? i dont remember).

i made him the first. i did breath research and i think he actually is the first and if he wasnt stfu he was. and YES this man is as audacious as it can get. he got it twisted. though to be fair, he IS the daemon I reincarnated so he's technically also not wrong he IS the only one that matters

'aegon would take it worse' no but in this case itll be even worse bc hed be completely alone. hed have noone to share this news and his feelings with...

brb going to change my mind about who yn ends up with

like yn is occupied with daemon, aemonds in disbelief, royal family is another thing so hes alone. alone with his broken heart, with his shock and with his alcoholism

watch me make the yn and the aegon pipelines real

( i can imagine one (1) night vissy take daemon to event so yn have a spare night and she go to the bar it all started in to see her pretty boy. and by the end of his shift hes drinking and crying and screaming telling yn how he loved her and needed a couple of words from her but she was too busy with dae.

HELP. ok. im going to add that.

if we make it past p5' its already 3 and you had so many plans...

SHUT UP. let me finish this fic in 5 parts dammit T_T

'its like smth you say when you wanna manifest' oh cute. love learning the stories behind some media things.

HAHAHAHAH you know that married member in BigBang? Taeyang? apparent his wife did that too so the more you know. a lot posters in the ph used those two things in posts haha

'im interested' i was supposed to write it here but ive no symbols TT

HAAAHA ok

so stay positive! have a good day! be my valentine! take care! luv u<з

im hungry. i hope you also have and will continue to have a good day <3 i love you take care of yourself

xxx

[shigarakisslutbag]

Hey, im a new follower and wondering if you can make another Shigaraki smut omg i love those!♡♡ pleaseee

So im in a yandere ish mood. Dw this isnt noncon because ikd how you, the reqyester feels about it SO. Tomura is gonna be a skight yandere who's just super obsessive when fucking his sweetheart <3

I probably have a lot of typos but oh well . Its late and i wrote this on a whim

Theres so many things shigaraki feels when it comes to you. Especially your body. Theres so many things this boy does when it comes to acting, thinking, and even breathing around you . You and shigaraki had been together for about a year now and you love him with your whole heart, but shigaraki loves you even more and he doesnt mind one bit. He'd been giving all the love in the relationship just so thats one kess thing you have to do.

Shigaraki had been obsessed with you for ages before you two were even together. Thinking the most obscene nasty thoughts about your body. You moved so eloquently and talked with love in the tone of your voice and it sucked him in like a vortex. He'd especially been wanting to fuck you long before you two were together. Thinking about how your puffy doughy little cunt would fit so snug around his tbrobbing cock. All he wanting to see was your tongue sticking out of your perfect lips as he fucked you senseless and your eyes rolled to the back of your head; it was as if you were searching for a heaven that he was already giving you.

He worshipped you like the greeks worshipped the greek gods . You were so powerful and entrancing to him. The way your puffy nipples felt on his tongue as he flicked it up and down the sensitive bud felt so i toxicqting and he wanting to ingest it into his very being.

He loves touching you so much and handling you like he hates you. He loves grabbing fistfulls of the meat of your hips/ass while fucking your cunt and pulling you to take his cock even deeper. Which is the position youre in now almost

Your head is buried in his neck whilst you lay ontop of him with hsi dick buried in your sore pussy . Hes got you trapped in his arms squezzing you so you cant escape the intense pleasure he gifts you.

"Who makes you feel this good sweetheart? Be a good fucking girl and tell me who's making you feel this good ."

"You.. you.. you!"

He gives slap to your ass and says, " say it properly like my good slut."

"Yes sir. Its you sir, who makes my pussy feel so good!"

He starts moving his hips up and his cock slowly disappears into the folds of your pussy.

"So you like when i fuck you like this? Slow," he presses in further, "and deep"

Youre almost sobbing at this point, but muster up the words to tell him that its the best thing youve ever felt.

Shigaraki begins to pick up his pace and sloppily fucks your wet, sweet hole. The room is filled with nothing but the sounds of skin hitting skin and you yelp everytime he hits your gspot

"You like being fucked like my toy? Because thats all you are. My. Fucking toy. And youll only be mine, because i only want you to make me feel this way "

The thrusts get even quicker and soon hes cumming in your cunt. Its so much that is spilling out of your hole but he fucks it right back into you as a way of saying your his little cumslut. Forever.

[americxn]

heeeyyy ive been thinking abt colin a lot and wondered like how it would be to have make up sex with him? After they had a huge fight then they have angry sex and then (still rough and hot) make up sex in the morning?

Im not sure if theres a difference between angry or make up sex but yeah

Hot Tempered (Colin Zabel x fem!Reader)

wordcount: 5.1k warnings: NSFW, penetration, giving and receiving oral, swearing, verbal arguing and a little bit of physical conflict

Yours nails scraped harshly on the surface of your kitchen table as you snatched up your phone, Colin’s face frozen in an irritated frown as you glanced back at him. His chair scuffed against the hard wood of the floor as you spun on your heel, heading for the door and the stairs beyond. “Y/n.” Colin’s voice was rough as he called after you, his long strides closing the distance between you as he reached out for your arm. “No, Colin.” You spat, whirling on him and wrenching your arm from his grasp. “I’m done talking about it, just fuck off.” His face fell, all of his agitation dropping from his features at the ferocity with which you cursed at him.  Your anger doused any guilt that should have swarmed you as the creases of annoyance on his face instantly smoothed over, his arm falling limp at his side. “Sleep down here.” You ordered firmly, turning once more and making your way to the stairs; your footfalls were heavier than intended. Shoving the door to your shared bedroom open with a shoulder, you flopped face first on the bed, gripping your pillow and smothering your face into it. Tears of hot frustration leaked from your eyes, dampening the fabric beneath your face as you clutched onto it, replaying the screaming match that had just occurred between you and your fiancé. It was undoubtedly the worst argument that the two of you had ever had.

From below, you heard the front door opening, closing harshly a second later.  You lay on the bed for several long minutes, the pillow clutched to your face staunching the flow of your tears. Only when your phone buzzed beside your head did you lift your face out of the confines of the pillow, the sudden light burning your teary eyes as you glanced at the screen as it lit up with Colin’s name. 

I won’t come to you until you’re ready to talk. Message me whenever that is.

You chucked the phone to the bottom of the bed with a soft sign, rolling onto your back and rubbing your hands over your face. Why did he insist on always being so patient? For whatever reason, his generous offering of space refuelled your anger, anger that was perhaps directed at yourself this time. Another hot tear squeezed its way out of your eye, rolling down the side of your face and disappearing into the hair at your ear. Swiping the wet trail away, you pushed yourself off the bed, storming for the bathroom and wrenching the faucet of the shower, causing scolding water to pour. You didn’t allow the water to cool, shucking off your clothes and stepping under the steaming torrents; it hit your skin in fiery relief, leeching some of the anger from your body and carrying it up into the space of the bathroom as steam, condensing and dripping in cool droplets off the mirrors and windows. You emerged from the shower half an hour later, the adrenaline of your argument having worn off entirely, a heaviness settling over your body in its place.  Your clothes remained in a heap in the centre of the bathroom floor, the fabric dampened slightly by the clouds of heat from the shower.  Sleep tugged at your eyes and you glanced at the alarm clock on your bedside table: 23:17. You obeyed the heaviness of your eyelids, allowing it to steer you towards the bed, flopping down onto its softness once more, the sheets cool against your warm skin, a comforting embrace in the place of Colins.

When Colin returned home, creeping warily up the stairs and softly pushing open the door to your shared room, it was almost two in the morning. He had gone to the office, taken his spare keys and lounged at his desk for hours that seemed to stretch away into eternity. His anger at you and your unforgivingness had long since softened, dripping away into pools of regret and willingness to compromise; he couldn’t even recall who had started the argument and what is was about.  But looking at you now, your naked body stretched out atop the covers, your torso expanding with each laboured breath you took, any thought of the argument slipped from his mind’s grasp.  Tugging off his coat, he hung it on the back of the door, reluctant to take his eyes off your sleeping frame for too long, your arms grappled around your pillow, your body softly curving across the bed. On tiptoe, he approached you, sitting gently on the bed beside your waist. Your eyes were closed lightly, your lashes fluttering slightly in sleep and your mouth cracked open in a soft part. He exhaled through his nose, rubbing his hand on the thigh of his jeans to ensure that his palm was somewhat warm before placing it tentatively on your waist. When you didn’t stir, your laboured breaths unfaltering, he began to move his hand down to your hip and up to your rib, trailing his fingertips along your sleep warmed skin tenderly. When you finally stirred, a small noise cracking out from the back of your nose and your legs shifting, you forced open one eye to see Colin surveying you carefully. You pulled open your other eye, blinking at him in an attempt to clear your sleep fogged vision; his lips tugged upwards in a small, surrendering smile. You let your eyes fall shut once more, sighing through your nose before shifting onto your back. Colin’s eyes dipped once, taking a thirsty scan of your exposed body before going back to your sleepy face, his smile widening when you held out your arms to him. He accepted, shuffling forwards before folding over you in an embrace, smiling into your bare chest as you folded your arms around his shoulders. You savoured the feeling of his hair brushing softly against your collarbone, sighing into his weight and allowing your eyes to drift shut once more. Colin’s head shifted, his cheek coming to rest on your chest; your skin was warm and soft beneath him. He allowed more of his weight to spread over you, your hips pressing into his as he flattened himself fully onto you. You cracked open one eye as he fell still once more, his breath coming out hot on your skin. You were glad he didn’t say anything, content to bask in his presence and indulge in his warm weight on top of you. The room fell into silence once more, sleep crawling back into your reach. You grasped for it, your arms slackening in their hold around Colin’s shoulders. The shift of his head against your skin pulled you away from the desired slumber once more, Colin turning to press a kiss to the space just above the valley of your breasts, his lips warm as they brushed against your skin. You stayed motionless, hoping that he would think you were asleep and let you be. But of course, he wouldn’t let that happen. He repeated the simple action of pressing a kiss to your skin, this time with more persistence. He lifted his head to regard you when you remained immobile, a small frown painting his forehead with creases. “Y/n?�� You opened your eyes as he addressed you directly, glancing down at him. “Yes?” You muttered, your bad mood threatening to take over once more with his persistence. You just wanted to sleep. “Are we going to talk about it or...?” “Honestly, Colin. I would rather not.” You responded flatly, shutting him down. He pushed himself off you at you short reply, sitting back and running his fingers through his hair. “Well I want to talk about.” He pushed, his voice gaining a shade more strength. You surveyed him blankly before rolling onto your side, turning away from him and bringing your legs up to your chest, allowing your eyes to shut once more. “Y/n. Are you serious? I left the house for god knows how long; I’ve given you space. Talk to me.” “I don’t want to talk about it.” You uttered, voice muffled by the pillow you had buried your face in. “Well I do, goddamnit.” He spat, his prior agitation returning in hot waves as you continued to dismiss him. Led by his fresh anger, he reached out, taking ahold of your forearm and pulling harshly, forcing your body to twist in his direction.  Your eyes filled with furious surprise as he made you turn to him, recovering a second later and ripping your arm from his grasp. “Fuck this, Colin.” You spat, sitting up and scooting to the edge of the bed. Your feet brushed the floor as you made to push yourself to standing but Colin was too quick, a potent wave of utterly irritated disbelief filling him; wrapping his arms around your torso, Colin threw you back onto the bed, the sheets soft against your skin as you landed, Colin moving to kneel by your chest. Your glowered at him, pushing yourself onto your elbows. Colin’s face intercepted your path, appearing before you, an angry hue staining his cheeks. “Why are you being like this?” He demanded gruffly, your noses close to touch him. “I’ve told you that I don’t want to talk about it.” You ground back, standing your ground, refusing to balk from his mounting fury. “So what? We’re just going to pretend that it didn’t happen?” He challenged, his dark eyes boring into yours intensely. It wasn’t often that Colin presented this side of him to you, the side that had drawn so many confessions from suspects in his line of work. “Yes. Yes we are -” “No, we’re not.” He cut you off, his nose brushing yours slightly as he leaned in even closer, his upper lip curling into an enraged snarl. “You don’t get to just tell me to fuck off and then refuse to speak to me about it.”  You fell silent at his words, realisation of how unreasonable you were being washing over you. But you could’t back down now, your pride wouldn’t allow it. “I can do what I -” Colin’s lips crashed onto yours, your noses fully pressing against each other as he closed the small distance between your faces, stealing your next words as he cut you off once more. A small squeak of surprise emanated from the back of your throat as Colin, instead of pulling away to continue round two of the argument, titled his head to deepen the kiss, running his tongue along your lower lip once in warning before flooding eagerly into your mouth. The kiss was demanding and punishing, roving thoroughly around your mouth, your tongue struggling to keep up with his as he ran is across your own, making strokes across the roof of your mouth with the tip, drawing shudders from your naked body. He leaned in more, his hands finding your shoulders and running down your spine, meeting at the small of your back and lowering you fully to the bed. His hands trailed to your hips as he lifted a leg, shifting to straddle you. You were torn between shoving him off and gripping onto the front of his shirt to pull him closer. Settling on the latter, you reached for the soft fabric, your fingers grappling into the material and tugging, forcing his lips to form a tighter seal around your own. He groaned at your roughness, one of his hands moving slowly up from your hip, across the plane of your ribs and around the curve of your breast to your throat. He pressed his thumb into the hollow of your neck, sighing at the pulse he found fluttering there as you lifted up your hips slightly beneath him, silently screaming your mounting need at him. His thumb remained at the base of your throat as his tongue made another thorough sweep of your mouth, your hands releasing the front of his shirt, only to attach to the buttons holding it closed, fumbling with them in your feverish need to have his bare skin against yours.  Colin’s annoyance was only mounting with your drawn out kissing, your fingers stumbling in their hurry to free him of his shirt. He pulled away suddenly, your head lifting off the pillow of its accord, trying to follow his lips. Sitting back on your hips, Colin’s face was flushed with a rosy hue as he ripped apart the last of the buttons that you hadn’t been able to undo, both of your uneven breathing filling the room as you lay beneath him, reigning in your impatience and watching as he started on his pants. The clacking of his belt as it was pulled it undone drew a quiet groan of anticipation from the back of your throat, the subsequent sound of Colin’s zipper drowning out the weak noise. He fell back down onto you, one of his hands spearing into the pillow next to your head, the other reaching down to wrench his pants down his legs, taking his underwear with them. His hand fell onto your upper thigh, his eyes flicking to bore into yours as his made a tantalizing trail with his fingertips up the inside of your thigh to your aching core, allowing his nails to dig into your soft skin ever so slightly.  You let out an unsteady exhale as he drew a line straight through your awaiting cunt with a single finger, letting out a stunted groan of approval at the wetness he found there. You braced yourself for his engorged cock as you lay still beneath him, staring up at him as he made another exploratory sweep of his finger through your folds, your juices gleaming on his fingertip when he pulled his hand away. You opened your mouth, readying to scold him for suddenly taking so long when he sat back, providing you with the view of his swollen cock curving towards his stomach, its head purple and weeping creamy precum.  You arched your back slightly in a gesture of indignation, pushing your tits up in the hopes of luring him back down on top of him. Instead, much to your annoyance, he pushed himself to his knees. You could’ve drooled at the sight of his cock bouncing slightly with the movement, your hands coming to cup your own tits as your tongue made a sweep along your lower lip. Colin, who had taken a second to admire your body below his, the goosebumps smattered across your skin, your hair fanned out across the pillow beneath your head and your eyes, lustfully dark and still half-lidded with sleep, reached down, taking your waist in his hands and pulling you up, twisting your torso. He manipulated your body, forcing you face down on the bed. You immediately lifted your hips up, waving you ass in a beckoning gesture as Colin settled back over you, aligning himself with your entrance, his tip pushing in ever so slightly.  He paused here, causing you to hiss in impatient agitation, your arms lifting to gather the pillow beneath your head under your chin, arching your back in order to give him better access. Your face buried into the pillow with a deep, placated groan as he finally pushed himself all the way into you. Pulling out immediately, Colin sunk himself back into your cunt, taking his time to fill you thoroughly before setting about fucking you at a steady pace.   “Oh god.” You gasped when Colin began to thrust at an established pace, hard and deep, drawing out of you slowly, only to slam his fullness back into you. “Oh fuck.” The intensity with which he immediately started to fuck you made your fingers and toes tingle, your pussy being gloriously stretched open. Your moans were broken and breathless as Colin pounded furiously into you from behind, small sounds of pleasure squeezing their way through his tightly gritted teeth as he took you thoroughly. You groaned, your fingers gripping onto the pillow beneath you as he repeatedly slammed into you with such force that your body moved up the bed, the covers creasing around your body. His hands quickly looped under your thighs to pull them up, positioning you so that your ass was in the air but your chest and face remained pressed into the bed. Your the muscles in your back strained, aching slightly at the harsh angle that Colin positioned you into but the dim pain barely registered as he continued to pound into you from behind, pushing your body further and further into the mattress with each stroke. “Oh. Oh, Colin.” You groaned luxuriously, your name on his lips only fuelling him to go harder, faster, deeper. Just when you began to gasp, slightly overwhelmed by the pleasure that he was abundantly giving you, tears pricking at your eyes, Colin, with a shuddering breath, released your upper thighs and planted his hands onto the hot skin of your back, his fingertips digging into the planes of your back, his nails clawing into your skin. You squeaked his name as your pleasure began to mount, each one of his frenzied thrusts ripping a layer from the ball of ecstasy glowing in your stomach, the release hidden at the centre Colin’s goal as he pushed you further and further to climax. Your eyes rolled shut, tears of utter pleasure burning them as you bit down on the pillow, your pleasure building, building, building, Colin’s thrusts punctuated by his own rough groans of gratification as he, too, neared climax. Your body went rigid beneath Colin as your orgasm slammed into your body, sending waves of unforgiving pleasure rippling through your entire being. You almost screamed at the force of your climax, Colin muttering encouragements through gritted teeth with each forceful slam of his cock into your pussy. Your fingers fell away from the pillow you had been grasping, grappling with the sheets pooled around your writhing body instead as you gasped for air, Colin’s hand coming around to grab your chin, forcing your teeth to release their tight hold on the pillow and holding your face so that your neck was craned upwards towards the ceiling. You couldn’t seem to gain control of your eyes as they rolled back again and again, each of Colin’s thrust punctuating the aftershocks of your orgasm as you struggled to come down from your high. But he didn’t stop. And it was all you could do but keep gulping down breaths of air in time to his wild thrusting, his hands settling on your hips to pull you further onto his cock. Your fingers shook from where they clenched the bed sheets pooled around you, your legs trembling so violently that it was a miracle you didn’t collapse fully onto the bed. Your gasped moans turned into high-pitched whines, the sudden sloppiness of Colin’s thrusts as his hips snapped relentlessly into you signalling that he, too, was dangerously close to coming undone. He grunted your name and with one last punishing drive of his cock into you, he fell forwards onto your body, his teeth finding the side of your neck and clamping down as he spilled into you, rocking his hips in order to draw out his pleasure.  You were whimpering, his moans loud at your ear, muffled by the tender skin he held in his bite. He released his hold on your hot skin as the last of his seed shot into you, taking a shuddering inhale and moving his lips to press a kiss to your shoulder. You were still heaving down gasps of air when he pulled out, your head falling back onto the pillow beneath you as he released his hold on your chin, collapsing away from you and onto his side of the bed. Your back gave out, your ass bouncing slightly as it, too, fell onto the mattress. You turned onto your side, your mingled wetness coating your thighs as you moved, staring at Colin with hooded eyes. He offered you a tentative smile. You returned it, reaching out a hand and taking his, squeezing his fingers affectionately. “Fuck you.” You breathed at him, playful intent sparkling in your exhaust clouded eyes. “Yeah, fuck you too.” Colin offered in response, bringing your joined hands up to his mouth and brushing his lips across the back of your fist. “Sorry.” You added quietly, your blinks slow and heavy as you struggled to keep your eyes open, sleep beckoning you to fall into its embrace. “I’m sorry, too.” Colin agreed, reaching over to pull your body to his, peppering your face with kisses before untangling himself from your hold and standing, retrieving his shirt from the floor before pacing for the bathroom.

You were awoken the several hours later by the watery light of the morning filtering through the blinds of your bedroom, Colin’s body a warm presence behind you. His arms were twined around your abdomen with his face buried in the crook of your neck, his puffs of sleep infused breath settling onto your skin. You shifted slightly, bunching the covers up beneath your chin with a sigh of contentment and pushing your body further into Colin’s. He stirred at this, the steady rhythm of his breathing interrupted as your movement dragged him from his deep sleep. His arms tightened their looping hold around your abdomen and you turned, craning your neck to plant a kiss on the top of his head. Pulling his face from your neck, he offered you a sleepy smile, his eyes barely cracked open against the natural light infiltrating into the room. “Good morning.” You mumbled, your breath stale and voice weak from lack of use. “Morning.” He murmured back, his chin settling onto your shoulder as he gazed at you. You smiled sweetly at him, disrupting his hold on your waist to move onto your back, Colin drinking in the view of your side profile that you offered him. A dim ache glowed from between your thighs, an ache that you savoured, your eyes fluttering closed with a soft sigh as you recalled the ferocity with which he had fucked you. Your lower lip caught between your teeth at the memory, Colin’s curiosity peaked as he tracked the movement. “What are you thinking about?” He mused quietly. You turned your head to look at him, debating whether to lie or expose to him how much you enjoyed the rare appearance of his rough side the night before. “I’m thinking of you fucking me.” You shrugged, forcing a shade of feigned innocence into your tone. Colin drew in a breath, his eyes opening fully at your words. “I’ve been thinking about that too.” He admitted in agreement. You snapped your head to his, your neck stiff. “Really?” You asked. Colin nodded, the full weight of his chin settling into your shoulder as he relaxed fully into you. “Did I look pretty from behind?” You pressed quietly. Colin lifted his head to survey your full face. You settled your head further into the pillow, blinking easily up at him. “You looked very pretty from behind.” He confirmed, his morning voice rough and low, coming out almost like a purr. You reached up, running your fingertips softly down the side of his face. “I want to do it again.” You admitted, your eyes flicking from his eyes to his lips. His low chuckle of response sent sparks of arousal skittering through you, drawing some wetness to gather between your thighs. “Where are your manners?” He tutted playfully, moving swiftly to straddle you once more, the covers lifting around his shoulders as his hands found your face, cupping your cheeks in his sleep-warmed palms. “Please.” You added, allowing your gaze to become doe-eyed as you stared up at him. His lips curved into a small smile, his head cocking slightly to the side as he lowered his face to yours, catching your lips in a fleeting kiss. You melted into the kiss as his hands moved from your face, trailing lightly down your sides before settling on your hips. Disconnecting his mouth from yours, his moved his lips down to your chin, pressing several kisses from there to the hollow of your throat. You tipped your head back, exposing the column of your throat to him, gyrating your hips slightly under his weight as his allowed his lips to venture further, his kisses becoming hot and open-mouthed as his cut through the space between your breasts and to your bellybutton.  You shuddered beneath the soft brush of his warm lips, his tongue making occasional contact with your hot skin as he made a meandering track downwards, pausing every now and then to latch his teeth onto you, sucking your skin into his mouth. Your breathing became ragged as he reached your mons, kissing and nipping at the space just above your ever wetting cunt with maddening leisure. You reached down, allowing your fingers to tangle in his short hair and tugged persistently at the roots; the desired effect was achieved: Colin groaned, his breath hot on your skin, and detached his mouth from your mons, glancing up at you before repositioning his head and licking a long stripe up your aching centre. “Yes.” You groaned in blissful encouragement, the second stroke of Colin’s tongue causing wetness to pool, coaxing an aching sort of pleasure to spread across your cunt, your folds swelling in response to his ministrations. His hand settled onto your lower abdomen, holding your hips still as he buried his face into you, unleashing himself with ravenous intent on your clit. You mewled with pleasure, the sudden barrage of his tongue on your clit sending strong jolts of satisfaction through the entirety of your body. “Oh god.” You moaned, breathless as Colin continued to lap at your cunt, sucking and nipping at your clit. His fingertips nudged at your entrance and you attempted to push your hips up into them in encouragement, Colin’s low groan at your desperate efforts causing you to gasp and fall limp under him as the sound rumbled through your pussy. He pushed two fingers in, curling them instantly and expertly brushing the rough pads of his fingertips against the spot hidden within you that had your toes curling. You moaned his name, your pent up sexual need following last nights rough fucking of reluctantly proposed apology growing with each flick of his tongue and curl of his fingers. Colin’s cock twitched in response, his name falling from your lips fuelling him to push another finger inside of you, thrusting them in and out of you at a steady pace whilst his tongue worked tirelessly on your clit, each stroke, circle and carefully calculated nudge of his tongue adding fuel to the glowing bundle of pleasure forming in your lower abdomen. You tugged on his roots in needy encouragement, his generous attentiveness of your pussy both not enough and too much.  “Yes, yes, yes. Colin.” A wave of heat rolled through you as your release neared, Colins fingers quickening their pace in your pussy as his tongue maintained its steady lapping at your wetness. “Colin,” his name was a drawn out moan falling from your lips, your head turning to the side, pressing your nose into the pillow beneath you. He hummed onto you, the pace of his fingers slowing as he held them deep inside of you, twitching and curling his fingertips. Your eyes rolled at the intense sensations that his change in technique sent sparking through you; the sudden tension that settled over your body only spurred Colin on, his fingers remaining buried deep within you as his tongue worked fervently, licking you closer and closer to your release.  Your head tipped back, pleasure pooling in your loins. “I’m gonna cum.” You announced on a breathless groan. At your words, Colin groaned his approval, his fingers once again quickening their pace, curling and twisting within you. He indulged in the string of continuous moans that fell from your lips, savouring the feeling of his tongue running across your clit as he finished you off, your body bowing entirely off the bed as your grip in his hair tightened, a wave of considerable pleasure slamming into you. His name was a drawn out moan on your lips as he licked you several more times, helping you through the orgasm that had your eyes rolling and your toes curling. Your thighs clenched deliciously around his head, Colin’s own moan of satisfaction vibrating through the electrified surface of your pussy. When your body collapsed back onto the mattress, the pupils of your eyes re-emerging with a gasp, Colin gripped onto your thighs, pulling his head from your heat and gazing upon your sated body, the scent of your arousal drifting up to meet him from between your thighs. You glanced down, the sight of his swollen lips coated with your cum causing a ball of fresh need to form in your lower abdomen. You blinked slowly down at him, a satiated smile spreading across your face. He grinned up at you, moving to cover your body with his once more, your hands falling onto the pillow at either side of your head as his lips met yours, the taste of your own musk coating his lips and tongue being passed onto your own. Pulling away, he placed a loving kiss on your nose, grinning down at you. “Do you forgive me now?”  Reaching up, your brushed the short strands of dark hair away from his forehead before answering. “I forgave you as soon as your cock entered me last night.” You mused softly, his eyes gleaming with arousal as they bore into your own. “Likewise.” He agreed, lowering his face to yours once more to lay a tentative kiss to your lips. Your hands found his shoulders, your lips curling up against once another as you pushed, Colin aiding you in flipping him onto his back and allowing you to straddle his torso. Permitting your fingertips to trail down the strong planes of his stomach, you leaned in, nipping at his earlobe before whispering, “I need to make sure that you fully forgive me.” Drawing away, Colin’s eyes were alight with aroused curiosity, pulling in a sharp breath when you moved further down his body, ensuring that his clothed erection scraped against your still throbbing heat as you positioned yourself on his thighs, pulling his cock free.  Colin gazed down at you, raising his arms to tuck them under his head, your hand closing around his shaft. You ran your thumb along his slit, gathering the bead of precum that had formed there before lowering your mouth to him.

taglist: @kitwalker02 @three-eyed-snail @forevercountess @kitwalkerangel @milly-louise @thecountessesglove @undeadcortez @kitwalker64 @samsassinparvismagna @xmaximoffic @divineruler @liandav @tatesweaterweather @evanmybeloved @tatelangdonsupremacist @ikkleroniekins (let me know if you want to be added or removed <3)

[falcqns]

Hiiii! Long rant ahead 😅-

Can I please request a Bucky x civilian!fem!reader (Avengers au! Endgame never happened au! Bucky joined the Avengers au!) where Sam & Steve are friends with a civilian girl who Bucky starts to really like (but Bucky being Bucky, he’d be worried she would be scared of him, & he thinks he’s a monster 🥺 so he wouldn’t admit he likes her), she really likes him too, & one day when she’s spending the night at the Avengers HQ, he has another nightmare & she calms him down & goes to sleep on the floor with him & they cuddle & he kisses her 🥺 The next morning, Sam & Steve would go up to Bucky’s floor & see them cuddling on the floor of Bucky’s living room🥺 The rest of the Avengers would come up there out of curiosity & Tony would tease them so much & try to take pictures lol. Steve & Sam would be smug but also really happy for Bucky because she’d be good for him 🥺🥺🥺 Sam would annoy Bucky so much about it 😂😂💜🥰

you could never hurt me

pairing: Bucky Barnes x civilian!fem!reader

warnings: angst, fluff, soft!Bucky, almost sub!Bucky which I love and wanna write more of but im scared too bc idk if people want that, Tony being a dumb ass as usual, Sam and Steve are good friends

a/n: this got wayyy more fluffier than I planned on bc I've been diving into the little!Bucky tag on AO3 too much and he’s always such a sweetheart and I wanna write some but im too scared I’ll get hated on eep. Hope you enjoy and thank you for the request!

God, you adored Bucky.

Despite everything he had been through, he was such a sweetheart. He had a softness to him, a softness he didn’t show most people. 

You really didn’t expect to fall for him when you started running with Sam and Steve a few months prior, but you definitely weren’t complaining. However, despite the softness you saw, he seemed to hate you. 

You didn’t know why. He was never verbally rude, he’d often leave a room as soon as you’d enter it, and avoid you as much as possible. 

You’d been over to the compound plenty of times, but you had never spent the night. Tonight was Tony’s birthday party, and you wanted to talk to Bucky about why he hated you so much, but you didn’t see him at the party, or after. According to Steve, he hated parties, and tended to lock himself in his bedroom  until the party was over, when he would venture out and eat some of the left over food.

Once the party was over, you and the rest of the avengers, except Bucky, were sat in one of the many common areas drinking a few more beers before everyone retired for the night. 

You heard Bucky’s door shut behind him, and watched as he walked into the kitchen. The team seemed to completely ignore his presence, and that stung a little bit. Did they not see the sweet and innocent Bucky that you, Sam and Steve saw? You shook the thought out of your head as Bucky trudged back to his room with some food and a drink in his hand, completely ignoring his teammates. 

You sighed internally, and decided to bring it up another time. 

You had just settled into your bed for the night, when you heard noises from Bucky’s room, which was right beside yours. You ignored them at first, thinking they were just him moving around and getting ready for bed, just like you had moments before. But, soon you started to hear different noises. 

You stood up from the bed, and pressed your ear against the wall that separated the two rooms. It sounded like he was trying to call out for someone, and couldn't. Like he wanted to talk so badly, but his words were catching in his throat. You feared that he could be severely hurt, so you ran out of your room and knocked on his door. 

“Bucky, you okay?” You said, and the sounds only continued. As they got louder, you knocked again, but there was still no answer. You tried the door knob, but it was locked. You looked down the hallways and was tempted to knock on Steve’s door. You wanted to make sure he was okay and you were definitely not strong enough to kick the door in.  

Just as you were reaching Steve’s door, you heard a low shout, and sobs rip through the air. You ran back to the room and tried the door handle, which was still locked. You breathed deeply, as you tried to figure out what to do. Suddenly, an idea popped into his head. 

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.?” You asked hesitantly, and she answered right away. 

“What can I assist you with Ms Y/L/N?” 

You breathed in relief. “Can you unlock Bucky’s door for me?” 

“Sergeant Barnes has restricted access to his room. The only one who was access is Captain Rogers.” You groaned. 

“I just want to make sure he’s okay. He can get mad at me all he wants for breaking into the room but he doesn't sound okay,” You reasoned.

F.R.I.D.A.Y. responded instantly. “I agree. His heart rate and blood pressure are rising. I will unlock the door.” A second later, a low click was heard, and this time when you tried the door, it unlocked and you stepped into Bucky’s room. 

The sight of him broke your heart. 

He had abandoned his blankets on the floor and crawled into one of the corners. His knees were pulled up to his chest, and his forehead was resting on his knees as he cried his poor heart out. You rushed over, and crouched in front of him. 

“Bucky? Are you okay?” You asked, and he shook his head, trembling slightly. You heard his teeth chattering, so you grabbed the comforter from behind you, and wrapped it around his shoulders. His cries slowed slightly, and he looked up at you.

“W-why are you helping me?” He asked, stuttering slightly. 

You furrowed your brows. “You’re obviously not doing well, and I want to help you. Why wouldn't I help you?” 

Bucky choked out a laugh. “I thought you'd be scared of me. Of what I can do. Of what I've done.” 

You sat criss cross apple sauce in front of him, and took his metal hand into your flesh one. You held it up, and intertwined your fingers with his. “I’m not scared of you.” You said simply, and Bucky nodded, a faint blush appearing on his cheeks. 

He looked down at his lap. “I could hurt you.”

You scoffed and moved closer. Without letting go of his hand, you manoeuvred to your knees, and pushed his legs down flat. You straddled his lap, you free hand rising and tangling in his locks that were wet from both his shower and sweat. “You could never hurt me.” You stated, your hand in his hair sliding down to cup his jaw, your thumb rubbing against his soft and kissable cheek. 

You watched as a tear slipped from his eye, and danced like a rain drop in a carwash down his soft but still stubbly cheek and jaw. 

“Why are you so nice to me? I don’t deserve it.” He whispered, his chin trembling. You smiled sadly and wiped the tear away. 

“You are is deserving of everything sweetheart. You’re such a sweetie pie and it sucks that the rest of your team doesn't see it, because you deserve all the loves and cuddles you could get. What you did, that wasn’t you. It may have been your body, but it wasn't you. You have been treated so harshly by so many people, including those who were supposed to protect you from those who did hurt you, when all you deserve is such kindness.” You said, and smiled when Bucky practically melted into your embrace, his head burying itself in your neck. He unraveled your fingers, and wrapped his arms around your waist, his face nuzzling in your neck. 

“Thank you. No ones ever said something that nice to me,” He said, and you felt his eyes flutter closed against the skin of your neck, finally at peace. 

“You deserve it.” You said, and you pulled away slightly. He let out a whine, but then his eyes widened, almost expecting you to hurt him. Your heart melted and you pressed a kiss to his forehead. 

“It’s okay if you’re feeling vulnerable, baby. I’m right here. I won't leave, and I won't hurt you. Let’s lay down okay?” You said, and he sniffled as he nodded and followed you groggily over to where his blankets were on the floor. You laid down, and opened your arms, inviting him in. 

He laid down in your arms, and his face found your neck again. He breathed in slightly, and sat up on his elbow suddenly. You furrowed your brow, but all the questions that were swirling in your head were answered when he pressed his lips against yours. You smiled into the kiss, and cupped his jaw again as your lips moved together slowly and sensually. 

The kiss broke a few moments later, and you ran a hand through Bucky’s hair, a dopy smile spreading on his face. 

You opened your arms again. “Come lay down, love.” You said, and he instantly complied, his body finding its previous position. You heard his breathing even out seconds later, and knew he was finally getting the sleep he deserved.

The next morning, Steve and Sam went looking all over the compound for you, and couldn’t find you anywhere. They walked past Bucky’s room once more, and made eye contact. 

“You don’t think-”

“Theres no way-” They said at the same time, and decided to look.

 A smile cracked on both their faces when they saw you and Bucky, still curled up on the floor. 

A flash went off, and they turned to face Tony. “Fuckin’ finally. Been waiting for Tin Man to make a move for months.” He said, and Steve smacked him upside the head. 

Taglist:

All:

@kpopgirlbtssvt @@nerdypinupcrystal @@sohoseb @@bieberhoodforever @crazy-avengers-gal @colicovision @est19xxshit

[4res]

Understanding The Body Of Ares: The Art of Form, 5

Getting Angry At God(s)

_ _ _ _ _

something happens when we start seeing the Gods through the mindset of what we give, we get in return. for some that means when we give offering, we hold our hand right back out. then this mindset advances into an internalized system of giving the Gods our "best", in return for Their best

the best food, scents, clothing, jewelry, waters, songs, poems. in return for blessings, joy, prosperity, and maybe a sign or favor during conflict then, something happens. we stop being able to feel our connection. things go dark, and we feel less. we close down, and we Suffer In Silence. we arent thinking of Them, we feel we do not see Them. the "Are They there?" mentality begins to blossom - but why? why do so many devotees face this seeming eventuality of feeling disconnected? i feel.. the Truth lies buried within the Knowing that we cannot always give the Gods our idyllic "best" - this air of perfection.. perfect words, perfect posture, perfect Hymns, perfect offerings

that internalized belief of being the best 'devotee' may have seemed well intentioned, but behind our backs it built a wall between us and God - brick by brick what do we do when we feel like shit? when theres not a fucking way this can be happening, and we are grabbed by the cohones by loss, pain, and rejection? the Gods are, to say the least, more knowing of us than we ever will be. to say the most, They are the deepened consciousness within us that also lends itself to building our "external" worlds - so where are you trying to hide from Them? if Ares is me, and I am Him, and We are It, and It is Us, and We are One- who can hide anything, even unintentionally? what are you REALLY waiting for before you "return to your devotion"? how long are you going to sit still and wait for your hard emotions to pass before you understand that you need to Come As You Are - because the Gods are both the hand wiping your tear, and the creators of the situation that made you weep - all.. in LOVE!

it is DEADLY important that we stop veiling ourselves from Them - and Come As We Are... SO...

How Do We Get Angry At Gods?

i sit with Ares, daily. and part of sitting in rooted consultation with Him is understanding the forces at play in my life in terms of Destruction, Upheaval, Transition, and Sudden Change

none of those things i like. yet everyday i come to our dinner table with my Thanks on a plate, presented in sincerity - and yesterday, the plate was smacked out of my hand

i felt words wash over me and into my ears, and i just heard: "I need you to be angry with me." and for a moment, i sat really confused. this message came right after i conceded that i was insanely overwhelmed about having to move out, but i followed myself quickly with a message of gratitude

but something continued to blossom within my Heart after He said this, and i could feel the loving pressure from Above - the realization that the same energy i was struggling through, crying over, hating, and irritated by WAS His energy

had the unconscious tides within escorted my anger into hiding because i was unsure how to be angry at God? did my Thanks taste like falsehood because in reality.. im far from grateful right now, im really sad, and im really struggling? was i, unwittingly, speaking in half-truths?

can i be Thankful and Angry at the same time, without one canceling the other out?

Can Gods handle my emotions, even if they are at Them?

how can we stop seeing the Gods as "Beings Outside Ourselves" or "Higher-Than" to the point of constricting our organic frustrations with Their natural energies?

the thing is..

Gods are ready for who we truly are. the truth of our emotions, thoughts, and actions are the only real currency we have with Them. every time i give my thanks from a place of overwhelm, i would do Us both a favor by expressing my Anger or Uncertainty along with it

because.. life isnt intentionally done at us, nor is it done against us - we are Beings that exist within everything that the Gods are.. so i am both someone who is being challenged by Ares' energy, and someone who is, quite frankly, in a lot of pain from enduring the waves of His massive transforming energy

Apollo can give shelter to my anger and fear about being chronically ill with no health insurance. Ares can give shelter to my weakness and anger and vacancy of motivation

i dont need to wait until i can find gentle emotions about those situations to come forward.. He is my friend, He is my Lover, He is my Guardian - and holder of my massive array of emotions and states of Being

we must stay open with Them.. do not close to God. listen and bring yourself fully, even in pain, to Their feet. even in anger, even in ignorance - we come

if you made it down here again.. thank you for reading this.

[fishoutofcamelot]

📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂 (or as many as you want to answer)

I count 32 folder emojis so you get 32 headcanons. A moment of silence for everyones dashboards, bc im too lazy to add a read-more line.

When Gwen became queen, she decided that they could get a different servant to wake them up so as to let merlin sleep in. George is an early bird, so he is happy to wake them up most mornings (except in special circumstances like birthdays or whatever, then merlin will surprise them with breakfast in bed)

Lancelot was young when bandits killed his family/village, and spent most of childhood and formative years on the streets as an orphan

Gwaine is pan

Sometimes, merlin will use his animation magic to bring balinors dragon statue to life. He'll sit there in his room, watching it eagerly fly in circles overhead. He named it Flappy

As an extension of the previous point, Merlin is really bad at naming things. The name "aithusa" only came to him bc of dragonlord magic. For example, upon catching/killing a rat in arthurs chambers, he named it "Ratravaine"

Gwen, on the other hand, spends a whole day nervously agonizing over what to name something. Elyan caught a caterpillar and asked Gwen what it should be called, but this only drew her into a week-long crisis. By the time she decided on the name "Wilbur", Elyan had already released it back into the wild

Ygraine and Nimueh definitely had a gay thing back in their teenage years, and ygraine was definitely bi, and nimueh definitely used to tease uther about how she hecked his wife before he did

Arthur is a dog person

Percival is afraid of deep water and also doesnt know how to swim. But after elyans lake funeral, percival became determined to learn - perhaps it was merely a coincidence, or perhaps out of some morbid desire to one day wade out into the lake and feel closer to his fallen friend

Arthurs love language is gift giving. Gwaine, leon, and lancelot are acts of service. Merlin and Gwen are words of affirmation. Percival is quality time. Elyan is physical touch

Post season 3, Morgana grew to hate flowers because they reminded her too much or Gwen, but could never bring herself to crush/destroy them

Arthur has a lactose intolerance, but since no one knew what that was back then, no one thought to tell him to stop eating dairy

Pre-canon, Gwaine and Tristan/Isolde worked together on some smuggling gigs

Gwen, Merlin, and Arthur meet up with Tristan to visit Isolde's grave and pay their respects once a year

Tristan turned down Arthurs offer of knighthood, but does come to help out whenever they need it. He makes no secret that merlin is his favorite

Post-canon, Merlin is THE pokemon card collector. Like. He keeps binders full of them. Doesnt trade or compete in card games/tournaments, though. He just likes to look at them

Percival is an artist. As a kid he didnt have any art supplies, but he used to carve amazing sketches into the dirt using sticks. Knowing this, Lancelot bought him a box of paints using his first Knight WageTM

On his deathbed, Percival asked Merlin to fetch his paint box. The paints had long since run out, but he kept the box as a comfort, and as a reminder of all the friends he had lost. He holds it to his chest as he lets out his final breath. Merlin buries him with the box in hand

George is left-handed

During council meetings, Gwen and Merlin will make faces at each other when no one is looking

Merlin actually hates the color gold, for reasons you can probably imagine

Merlin starts season 1 at the age of 17, is 27 by season 5, and 1500+ by the end of the series

Post-canon, Merlin has begun studying robotics in the hopes of one day creating an ai sophisticated enough to be his companion. After all, a well-maintained machine wont die as quickly or easily as a human would

Gwen's favorite color is purple/lilac

Leon suffers from insomnia and also has major PTSD

You know the "Siblings Song" by Brian David Gilbert? That but with Leon, Elyan, and Gwen (leon being the oldest brother, obviously)

Merlin will pack-bond with anything. He once painted a face onto Arthurs chair, named it Mr. Seat, and forbade arthur from sitting on it. Gwen played along, and under her orders Mr. Seat was placed in the vaults

Gwen is poly, but knows that arthur isnt as comfortable with open relationships so she doesnt pursue anything polyamorous out of a respect for his boundaries

Everyone thinks mordred is innocent bc he's the Baby Of The Family, but he actually curses worse than a sailor. And his curses are creative too. He did spend some time working with slavers, after all

Theres this one noble who used to bully servants, even bullied gwen and Merlin. So when gwen became queen, thereby outranking the noble, she was all "ooooh ive been waiting a long time for this" and gave up half of the noble's land to the nearby villages. Merlin wouldve preferred she punch that bastard in the nose, but she insists this way is much more effective (it is)

Between the stone dog, the dragon in the flames spell, and the horse in the smoke spell, Merlins favorite type of magic is animation magic. He likes bringing things to life, bc for just a moment those magical constructs make him feel the tiniest bit less alone

Merlin has very faint freckles that only pop out when he spends long periods of time in the sun. Incidentally, these freckles also glow gold when he uses magic

Thanks for the ask! <3

[heyitsyn]

Prove Me Wrong

M!Reader x Oikawa

a/n: SDKLFJSLDKFJDLSKF OKAY I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I LAST UPDATED BUT I REALLY INVESTED MY TIME INTO RESEARCHING AND READING FANFICS WITH AN M!READER BC I REALLY DIDNT WANNA GET IT WRONG SO I APOLOGIZE IF I DID SOMETHING WRONG AND I HOPE THIS ANON LIKES IT!!!

anon:

-heres an interesting thought. what about flamboyant oikawa with a cold boyfriend😳😳

YEYYY I FINALLY UPDATED

LETS GET STARTED SHALL WE?

okayokayokay

so in the request above

this is a m!reader

meaning you will be male in this one so hehe yep the story starts now

you are,,,

distant

and cold

but its mainly just because you were,,,

too tired to actually put in the effort of socializing

between bouncing between part-time jobs to care for your siblings and to schoolwork and book club

the mans can only do so much

so you spend most of your time in school just trying to catch up on sleep bc youre too busy studying up all night for exams since yanno

✨gRaDuaATiOn✨

unfortunately for you, your class had the famous manwhore oikawa tooru

why is that a bad thing?

well, imagine just trying to get some shut eye and suddenly, you just hear a bunch of screaming girls and it gets louder the closer the guy approaches your classroom and when he opens it,

the screams become 10x bass boosted

then imagine that with your sensitive hearing

now,,

it does bother you but it wouldnt bother you as much if he told them to leave

BUT NOOOOOO

he decides to let them in and chat with them and flatter them and continue with that bs until the bell rings

even then,

the girls in your class cant help but keep giggling at him and he always whispers in that obnoxious voice and youre just like two seconds away from ripping his tongue out

now

you dont hate him

you just genuinely dislike his way of living

and the way he talks

and the way he acts

yea see?

no hate

theres a difference

then there was that one time that you got so fed up with it that when oikawa settled on his seat and the fangirls circled him like some cult

they started talking to him all at once trying to get his attention

so it was a garbled mess of sounds and you growled, burying your face deeper in your arms because you would snap really really soon

then one girl shrieked when oikawa smiled at her and then you really just let go of all bearings

your chair made a squeak as you shot up, palms slamming against the wooden desk and your eyes glaring straight at them

‘go back to the farm, ya squealing pigs’

DSKFJLSDFKJSDFKDJS SORRY I LOVE TSUMU

this made everyone silent-even the others in the class just minding their own business

they all knew you as the quiet kid who didnt really talk much but those who did were really scared at you and the way you talked to them with such a cold and monotonous voice that they started spreading rumors about you

even absurd ones like your eyes are so cold bc youve killed so many people that you have no life and empathy left

LIKE WHAT THE HECK YOU STRUGGLED TO GET A SPIDER OUT OF YOUR SISTERS ROOM THE OTHER DAY LIKE EXCUSE YOU

but apparently they were just,,, so scared of you that when you finally got done with them and bursted out, the girls started crying

YALL KNOW THE SAYING LIKE HELL HAS STARTED WHEN THE QUIET KID SNAPS

the females run out of the room scared and the others nervously looks at you

your eyes sweeped through the room and each one of them flinched when you made eye contact with them

YES ASSERT OUR DOMINANCE M/N

the only who didnt was oikawa tooru himself

your eyes landed on him and he still had that stupid smug look on his stupidly gorgeous face and you wanted to ki-WAIT NO SLAP it off of him

‘the hell you looking at?’

you grumbled at him and he just merely shook his head with a smile

‘you remind me a chihuahua, m/n-chan. so cute when its angry’

‘HAH?!’

now it isnt a surprise to hear oikawa tooru say that to a boy bc wowza the school loves him so much that hes a bi icon in seijoh and hes such a king like who cares?

but they were surprised to see you turn red, the tips of your ears to the base of your neck were all flushed

‘see? so cute, right, everyone?’

KSDFJLSDKJFS

THE NERVE OF THIS MAN

the class didnt say anything except just put their heads down bc as much as they wanted to agree with oikawa at how suddenly hot you looked, they were too scared that you might plummet their faces to the ground

maybe thats when everyone started noticing you more

again, you were very quiet, you didnt talk much, you just sat there and listened so obviously you didnt really stand out but then that outburst made you more noticeable

you started seeing girls in your class staring at you then blush and look away abashedly

then the guys in your class started greeting you, even people in the hallways

ngl the attention you suddenly got was overwhelming

especially when oikawa seemed to call out to you all the time now

as you were walking down the stairs, hed see you and he’d shout and wave to you

‘m/n-chan! hiii!!!!’

his loud voice would make everyone turn and look at you and you dont do well with public attention so you turn red and you glare at him

‘shut the hell up, idiot. and dont call me by my first name. we’re not friends’

you turned to walk in the classroom but you looked at him again after taking a few steps

there he was

smiling and giggling with those girls

all he does is smile and giggle and shit

its so damn fake that you cant believe everyone fell for it and the worst thing is oikawa’s doing it to get everyone’s acceptance and validication

it was pathetic and disgusting

poor oikawa :(

now on to baby flatttykawa side,

he was kinda hurt by that

like how the heck are you not friends when youve been going to high school for 3 years?

sure, its only been casual greetings and him waving at you when yall made eye contact

but its still something, right?

right?

when you walked back into the classroom, tooru cant help but feel down at the declaration of the lack of friendship you had

his form slouched and his eyes trailed down but the voice of some girl brought him back to where he was and to fix his attitude

‘oikawa-san? are you okay?’

the others muttered in concern with her but they were eased when he raised a peace sign with the signature smile 

‘yep! all good!’

GOD I REALLY CANT STAND IT WHEN HE USES A FACADE TO EVERYONE BUT LIKE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH BC HES SUCH A STRONG CHARACTER THAT DOESNT BREAK AND HES SO INSECURE AND IT PAINS ME SO MUCH THAT HE FEELS THE NEED TO HIDE BEHIND A MASK EVERYDAY AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

truth be told,

oikawa has always noticed you

not only do you work at the one bakery with his milk bread but you also work at the convenience store that the team sometimes visits

then he also noticed you picking up your brother from the volleyball practice that takeru’s part of and he cant help but frown at the eyebags under your eyes that he always sees

he lies awake at night just thinking how you would look without those eyebags, without the sickly looking complexion, or even just the lack of life in your eyes

then during class, you sat by the window

tooru knows this bc his eyes always fixes itself on you whenever he opens that door and he has to hold in the need to hug you when he sees you sleeping on your desk

others might call you lazy

others might call you a video game all nighter kid

but they dont notice the things you do

the nervous habits hes seen from you at the times that tooru couldnt help but stare

he knew it was creepy to do it

but you were so silent

you blended yourself into the background and you made sure to stay there 

thats why nobody knows anything about you

with good looks like yours and a smart brain (he knew this from mattsun and makki being your students), why exactly were you not known?

maybe thats why it drew you to him

all his life he chased, 

but now hes the one chasing?

tooru knows that your left eyebrow lifts when sensei writes something you dont understands

tooru knows that you like to do sudoku in the convenience store while you worked

tooru knows you eat the same meal during lunch every day from the same lunchbox

and he also knows that your brother talks so highly about you from takeru

the little things your brother brags about like your ability to cook f/f or your weird ability to just assemble something without looking at the instruction manual

he notices and knows all these things about you

things that people never really even bothered to 

oikawa didnt even know he liked you until iwaizumi pointed it out during lunch

the third years liked to go and eat at the rooftop where it was nice and windy

oikawa was sitting and leaned against the tall wire fence, his eyes fixated on you down below on the bench as you ate your lunch

then you accidentally loosened the chopsticks causing your food to slip off

that made oikawa giggle

he was chuckling and giggling that the others noticed him when he suddenly went quiet

‘oi, oikawa’

makki nudged him back to them and tooru flinched before smiling at them

‘hm? so you do notice me!’

iwa glared

‘idiot. of course we do. youre laughing over there like some damn schoolgirl. did one of your fangirls posses you or something? if not, cut it out. its ugly’

oikawa shot him an offended look

‘what?! iwa-chan so mean!’

mattsun took the liberty to peer over the edge to see what he was looking at and smirked

‘eh? were you looking at l/n-sensei?’

oikawa blushed, feeling like he just got caught doing something bad

‘and what about it? im looking at you too, right now, mattsun!’

makki cackled at oikawa’s poor attempt of reasoning

‘i mean, i dont blame you. if issei wasnt here, id definitely get with him’

SEDKLFJSDLFISDKFJ MATTSUHANA YALL :”)

oikawa’s eyes wandered back down to you and he noticed you put the bento box to the side before sneezing

‘gosh, even his sneeze is cute’

he mumbled then jolted when he heard his own words 

iwa sighed

‘what are we going to do with you, shittykawa?’

‘what?! what did i do?!’

iwa’s eyes scrunched and he scrutinized his best friend

‘boke. i feel bad for that kid, doesnt know this stupid idiot likes him’

so thats how oikawa came to terms of it

he thought he was just interested and fascinated with you but he really does like you

and to be honest, he doesnt really want you to know that bc duh, you dont like him so why bother?

baby oiks doesnt interact with you much anymore bc he knows you get uncomfy with attention but he still does look out for you and decides he should just admire from afar

he will live every day just holding his feelings in for you and one day they will disappear

but today just wasnt the day

maybe today was the start of the worst yet the best part of your life

last night was particularly rough as the convenience store you worked in had a drunk person who wanted to fight with you and your manager had to call the police and it was just a mess

to add on to it, midterms were around the corner-like next week- so you were studying up for that

but your sister got sick so you were also trying to take care of her and making sure her fever was going down and her crying ever few hours about her tummy ache didnt allow you to sleep

hehehe single parent working late tingz

ALSO SHE DOESNT HAVE MISS RONA JFC

so yep haha you did NOT get any sleep

so you walked into school that morning, looking tired as hell and mad as hell but you just wanted to sleep bro

the one kid you tutor, matsukawa issei, and his friend who usually tags along, hanamaki takahiro, noticed you dazedly pass them in the hallway and poor dudes felt bad for you

mattsun actually pays you to tutor him bc he knows you need the money while taka preferred to buy you snacks and drinks as compensation

so it was normal that he had an energy drink in his bag that he was going to give you tomorrow during your tutoring day

‘oi! l/n!’

your head perked up at the call of your name and you nodded in greeting at the light brown haired boy

‘hey’

you muttered and mattsun placed his hands on your shoulder to keep you upright

‘oi, l/n, you sure you want to be here? you can go home and we can tell them youre sick or some-’

but you waved your hand

‘nonono todays an important lecture so i cant miss it’

the two guys didnt look convinced but they respected your need to be in school since they too need to be in class for midterms

‘here. at least take this’

makki placed a drink on your hand and you nodded and gave them a small smile

‘thanks’

you mumbled before wandering off

once they saw you at a distance away, makki wrapped an arm around issei to get his attention

‘ya think we should tell oikawa to keep an eye on him? make sure he doesnt keel over and die or somethin?’

mattsun stopped before nodding

‘yea thats a good idea’

SKLFJLSDKJFD NOT MATTSUHANA BEING YOUR PARENTS

oikawa was already in class when you walked in and he cant help but tear his eyes away from the girls to you as you sluggishly walked to your seat

the drop of your bag and the thud of your head meeting the desk made him worried bc you looked worse than usual

his phone buzzed and he checked it to see a message from mattsun

‘keep an eye out for your boyfriend. mightve been working late last night and yanno how he is. just watch out if he faints or something’

okay that made him super worried

totally ignoring what mattsun called you, oikawa knew he needed to talk to you

but these fangirls were the first problem

he shut his phone off and looked up at them with a grin that made them madly blush

‘ladies, class is about to start. oikawa-senpai would hate for you to be marked. so study hard for me, okay?’

like hypnotized cult members, the girls ran to their classrooms and tooru finally had the opportunity to talk to you

he stood up and walked over to your seat

‘m/n-chan’

he called out, looking down at you

‘m/n-chan’

he tried again and was about to put a hand on your shoulder when your hand snatched it

‘dont touch me, oikawa’

you grumbled and tooru furrowed his eyebrows

‘m/n-chan, i just wanted to ask if youre okay’

he whined and you didnt bother to look up but just let go of his hand

‘i was until you came over, idiot’

ouch

tooru was thankful that the teacher came in then and there bc he didnt know how to respond to that

he wanted to brush it off but it hurt him a little

and he knows he shouldnt entertain his crush on you but he couldnt looking at you and watching as you got up to use the bathroom 

as class went on, oikawa was starting to worry

now again, hes no stalker bc his observation skills were just phenomenal due to volleyball

so he noticed that youve been in the bathroom for like 20 minutes now

DONT JUDGE US, OIKAWA. WE’RE JUST TRYING TO PUSH OUT THE BIG PIECE OF-

okay nevermind

anyways

tooru, worried that something happened, raised his hand to go and use the bathroom and the sensei wasnt exactly paying attention so he just let him go

thank god he has long legs bc he was able to reach the bathroom quick and he stifled a shriek when he saw your passed out form inside

‘M/N-CHAN!’

he yelled and he cursed when duh you were alone and who knows how long youve been there

and ew bathroom floors is bleh

you were in no way light but you werent exactly heavy either so he was able to muster up all his strength and hoisted you on his back

tooru’s heart thrummed in his chest and he knew it couldnt be that serious but he cant help but think of the worst

and yep

the nurse just told him that your heartbeat was okay and you were snoring so you mustve been exhausted by the dark circles in your eyes

‘keep an eye on him for me. i have to tend to midoriya over there. the kid broke his arm again and i dont know how’

she grumbled at the end but tooru didnt care as he sat on the chair next to your bed

he sighed before laying his head on the cot by your hand

his eyes settled on your face and how peaceful it looked

gosh, you really were so cute

your personality just sucked ass

constantly telling him to shut up and calling him idiot

hmph

not long after oikawa fell asleep, you woke up and cursed, immediately realizing you fainted and you missed class

as you were going to rub your eye, there was weight on your hand and you looked down to see a head full of brown hair that could only belong to a certain someone

a certain idiot

‘oi. oikawa, wake up’

you shook his head and when he didnt budge, you just pulled your hand from under him making him jump awake

at first, he was confused

looking around like a lost puppy and his eyes bleary

yea it was cute and what about it

then he noticed you sitting up and he smiled

‘you feeling better, m/n-chan?’

he asked, leaning close 

but you placed your hand on his face to push him away

‘yea. and stop leaning so close, idiot’

you grumbled and he whined

‘youre so mean, m/n-chan! i was so worried about you!’

he complained and you rolled your eyes

‘i didnt ask you to be, idiot’

SLDKFJSDLKFJKL M/N IS SO MEAN WHAT THE FAK

oikawa frowned

‘i cant help it. i like you, m/n-chan’

you froze, looking at him with scrunched eyebrows

then you chuckled dryly

‘yea, okay sure. im okay now so you can go to class’

wOW OIKAWA DESERVES BETTER WHAT

tooru was taken aback

‘wh-what? thats it? after i just told you that i liked you?’

you blinked at him

‘what do you want me to say about that, oikawa? how do you want me to react? im not like your fangirls, squealing and shit’

your words cut deep in him and oikawa held your arm

‘no wait a minute. what do you mean by that? do you not believe me?’

‘who the hell believes something that’s fake?’

there was a snip in your tone and oikawa knew you were talking about this facade of his

‘what? i-’

‘you think i believe you? you telling me you like me? do you even know who you are?’

you asked and tooru sniffled, eyes staring at your chest

‘for years, you told people what you wanted them to hear, regardless if you meant them or not. not once have you ever told them no. who the hell accepts chocolates when they dont even like them to begin with?’

at that last part, oikawa snapped up to meet your eyes

‘how did you know’

you rolled your eyes

‘our brothers are friends, idiot. he gave him some of the chocolates you gave to takeru since the brat couldnt eat them all’

oddly, that brought some warmth in tooru’s chest

so he wasnt the only one who knows the stupid stuff

but you continued on your rant

‘for a guy who doesnt like sweet stuff, youve accepted their nasty treats all the time, like why? oh, wait i know why, because you want them to like you. it doesnt matter if-if this-this persona of yours isnt real because as long as they like you, you dont give a fuck. isn’t that true? am i right? because please, prove me wrong’

maybe your dislike for him came out at that tangent and you half expected him to cry but you were surprised when he glared at you with teary eyes

‘i will. ill prove you wrong, m/n, that i do like you and i will make you like me. ill make you like me with the real me. i swear.’

‘mhm. okay. sure, oikawa’

do you regret it?

i mean,,,

kinda?

but not really?

because you loved watching the girls faces fall when oikawa rejected their treats the next day

you were walking to class when you noticed him with his cult by the entrance and you saw him smiling at some girl before gently pushing away a can of cookies

‘gomen. i actually dont like sweets that much anymore. if you want, you can give me milk bread?’

you stopped and oikawa caught your eye and he grinned

you nodded in greeting before continuing to walk

but he noticed a small smile on your face and gosh oikawa sighed like a lovesick fool

it took iwaizumi to finally send him back and his fangirls were looking at him worriedly

‘could you be less obvious, shittykawa?’

rip iwaizumi hajime in episode 546546546 of daily adventures of oikawa tooru

you noticed that oikawa has started to become distant with his fangirls and hes been sticking to you during lunch, leaving behind the others

makki and mattsun looked like proud parents as they peered down over to you flicking oikawa’s forehead and they smiled

‘god, that kid deserves this’

‘hah? that sounds like more of a punishment to me. but i dont care. it takes him off our hands for a while’

IWA I SWEAR HES SO MEAN BUT HE STILL WUVS TOORU SO ITS OKAY

oikawa would pick your brother up and take him home when youre too busy to go get him yourself and sometimes, he even takes your little sister too which causes them to have a mini sleepover and you sleep there too

also, whenever youre working in the convenience store, tooru would buy sandwhiches and a drink just for you so you can eat them while youre on break and not have to waste money and you told himyou dont want him spending money on you but he doesnt wanna hear it

‘i dont want you buying me-’

‘ssshhhh dont. im doing this because i want to and becaus i care for you, m/n-chan’

overtime, 

yea

sure

youve started to like him

youve started looking forward to seeing his stupidly cute face and his stupidly cute giggle

you went to his games and gave him a tight hug when hes about to play as a ritual for good luck and you would open your arms for him wide whenever he wins

then he didnt

against shiratorizawa, you noticed how he was so disappointed

even as you walked home with him, he continued to smile and tell you how good his team played

until you couldnt take it anymore

you pulled him over to some alleyway and you pushed him to the wall

DSKLFJLSDKFJLSDFJ WOW WHAT

oikawa nervously fiddled with his jacket and gave you a shaky smile

‘m/n-chan, what are you-’

‘tell me what youre feeling right here, right now. no bullshit, no lies, tell me everything in that pretty head of yours’

you deadpanned and tooru looked away

‘im fine’

‘are you lying to me, tooru?’

your voice was even but he could tell you were serious

he gulped before taking in a shakey breath

‘im fine. so stop asking about it!’

he exclaimed and you sighed

‘listen, i know its not official yet but you want me to be your boyfriend right?’

tooru flinched before he flushed at the word ‘boyfriend’ 

then he nodded

‘as your boyfriend, you have to lean on me, tooru. i dont want you to hold it to yourself because i wanna be there for you and i want to go through everything with you because i,,,,,’

you stopped and hesitated, debating if you should say it or not

‘because i like you, idiot’

you confessed and swallowed thickly

oikawa met your eye and his eyes watered

‘im so angry! im so disappointed! but i know my team did their 110 percent! we’re just not strong enough! so its not their fault! but ushijima is such a freak and hes too strong and its not fair!’

he complained and he cried loudly

not once in the 3 years of knowing oikawa have you seen him cry and you were so proud of him for being able to trust you enough to show him being vulnerable

you rushed forward held him close to your chest

‘for what it’s worth, you looked so incredibly hot and cute playing’

you whispered and pecked his neck 

of course oikawa couldnt hold his surprise at the feeling of your lips on his neck so he squealed a little

you gigled and continued holding your boyfriend close, even if it was at some nasty alleyway

yall became official and ngl, they didnt see this coming

some nobody dating the grand king oikawa tooru?

what in the wattpad?

yall know that tiktok of like ‘guys you cant dm me anymore. i have a girlfriend now. what else? and i love her’

IF YALL DONT KNOW IM SORRY

but you totally made oikawa tell his fangirls that

YOU KNOW THE FUNNY THING?

when yall became official, you actually gained your own little fanclub

maybe its because you gained clout from your boyfriend but they started noticing you and wowza you were hot

before, it was you getting jealous over tooru but now, it was him getting possessive of you

hes such a brat that he sits on your lap before class and youre just all smirking and feeling all good bc your baby is so cute when hes jealous

YOU CANT DISAGREE THAT HE DOESNT RADIATE UKE ENERGY

but all oiks has to do is pull down your collar and expose your purple littered collarbones and they will know who you belong to

theres a reason why iwa-chan is now the kids babysitter

youre still kinda cold and distant to people but youre soft for your baby and you always hold him close when hes in sight and you just cant get enough of him

:’)

also!! 

your sister loves dressing you up and oikawa has his sisters makeup and they both do your makeup and you guys have tea party with the boys and just the cutest domestic stuff

you still call him idiot though

but like affectionately yanno?

and over the years youve turned it down to dummy

and ngl tooru loves it when you call him that

what in the dumbification-

because he knows that equivalent to babe from you and he absolutely just loves you lmao

youre def the more quieter and calmer one in the relationship like you absolutely dont react much

while tooru is the overreactor and hes very animated with his facial expressions and stuff

like the one time

he was cooking some chicken pasta and you cheekily grabbed a piece of chicken and he made a dramatic gasp

‘*le gasp* oikawa m/n how dare steal a piece of chicken!’

you cackled before crossing your arms at the sight ofyour lover with his pursed lips and hands on his hips

‘excuse you. its more of you who’d take my last name’

it was so easy to make him flustered and tooru quickly turned around to tend back to the food but he was really just hiding his red face

‘b-baka. thats not going to happen’

‘not if i do it first’

you shrugged and smirked, wondering if he will fall for it

and as expected with oikawa tooru

‘yea okay sure’

‘i will!’

‘prove me wrong, m/n-chan~’

‘turn around right now’

oikawa rolled his eyes playfully before turning with a smile

‘what are you-*le gasp part 2*’

his hands covered his mouth at the sight of you there in front of him, kneeling on your knee tightly clutching a silver ring between your thumb and index finger

your heart was thrumming in your chest but you gulped and smiled

‘i win. now marry me, dummy’

oikawa screamed

a/n: sorry if this sucked booty :((( but i just really like the thought of uke oikawa and just him with a cute boyfriend for a change like please we all know oikawa is a bi king and thats on docosahexaenoic acid