#IM SORRY THIS WAS POSTED SO LATE AGAIN OKAY. i am stupid

[sanzodaily]

day 9 | (testosterone) shots

[jwonsoon]

Enhypen's reactions to you being super talkative when they're tired ⋆.˚ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ

☾ a/n: It has been a minute !!! Me and bff have been so so busy since it's our final semester of high school. But I am here to provide for my delusional folk <3 I honestly wrote this on a whim because I've been feeling extra insane lately with all the work I have to do so ignore any stupid mistakes I make in this. I want to post more on here for sure, senior year is coming to a close soon and me and bff are moving into a new university together so hopefully we'll have time for more posts. Okay enough yapping, go read! pairings: enhypen x g/n reader genre: fluff

cw: kissing (nothing crazy dw), ignore grammatical errors!

JUNGWON

He doesn’t care if his life is on the line, the last thing he’s going to do is make you feel rushed when you’re talking about something you’re genuinely interested in. 

He finds you SO cute when you’re mumbling about something that you enjoy !! He gazes at you with his boba eyes nodding along to everything you say 

“Oh my god sorry I’m talking so much” you say to him embarrassed at how comfortable you’ve gotten in his presence and how he’s probably so tired 

He’ll immediately shake his head no and tell you “keep talking i love listening to you” 

Because he’s tired he pulls you into a hug and plays with your hair while you talk. 

His sign that he’s tired is when he gets really touchy. Like he is all of a sudden kissing your forehead and playing with your cheeks which is usually a sign for you to call it a day… 

JAKE

We all know this guy cannot for the life of him control his sleepiness but he loves you so he makes his adjustments

Its a shame but this guy is NOT !!! LISTENING !!! 

He’s cuddling you and you’re yapping away he’s going to nuzzle his face in the crook of your neck and just keep going “mhm, i see” 

You notice that he isn’t listening so you ask a question to throw him off and he responds with “yeah totally” making you chuckle. 

He looks up flustered realizing he just admitted to not paying attention to you. 

“Sorryyyyy!!!!” He pouts leaning to kiss you.

“Im listening I just need a minute” he spends that “minute” sleeping on your arm and then he sits up shaking his head like a puppy trying to wake himself up. 

Claps, sits up, “Okay! talk! I’m up.” 

HEESEUNG

He’s always up fighting his sleep to play video games anyway so he’s the most prepared in situations like these 

If he notices your in a particularly chatty mood and he’s sleepy, he will drag both of you out of bed and make sure you’re sitting up so that he isn’t prone to falling asleep on accident 

You’re talking and talking and he is giving the same exact energy back!! he will laugh and giggle at everything 

When he’s really getting tired he yawns out loud and goes “baby.. im a bit sleepy.. actually no no keep going, just come here” 

He’ll open his arms wide for you to lay on his chest while you talk 

You notice his eyes are closed so you stop and start getting up only for him to pull you back down and say “just stay here, i like listening to your pretty voice” 

SUNGHOON

He is so in love with you. it is PATHETIC! 

He is so sleepy too and looks insanely cuddly so whenever you are talkative you lay facing him and talk his ear off while hugging him 

He is way too in love to tell you that you need to please shut up because he is SO TIRED so instead he kisses you to ease his tiredness away 

“That girl” —kiss “is so” —kiss “annoying” —kiss 

“Hoon stopp” to which he kisses you again, mumbling against your lips “I’m listening baby” 

SUNOO

No matter how tired he is it fades away when hes with you 

You’re always spilling the latest gossip to Sunoo and he eats it up everytime. 

“She actually has something against me” you say to which Sunoo responds “how could anyone hate this cute face” pinching your cheeks 

You brush his hand away and jokingly roll your eyes and thats all it takes for his cuteness aggression to launch through the roof 

He is all of a sudden squeezing you tight going “Why are you so cute you’re just so cute you’re so cute” 

He is literally holding you shaking your shoulders while smiling so big going “No tell me!!! why are you so cute??” 

“Sunoo you’re scaring me” you say to which he responds “Good! I’m pissed off you’re perfect.” 

You guys will literally spend the whole night talking, Sunoo literally forgot that he was tired in your presence 

JAY

He is half asleep walking through the door 

But! that doesn’t stop him from at least pretending to listen to you 

As he’s putting his stuff down you are following him around talking about the ending of the show that you just watched 

Hes humming in response and smiling to himself 

He stops suddenly turns to face you pulling you in for a hug “Baby I’m so tired today i dont know why….” sighing into your arms 

He didn’t want to explicitly say to you please shut up but it was definitely a sign to you to take it down a notch 

He’d look down to kiss you on the lips and say “Let’s talk in bed hm?” 

When you guys are in bed he lets you lay on his chest and he says “Now tell me all about that show you were talking about” 

He will listen to you, or at least try to, but with his fingers playing with your hair you are slowly lulled to sleep.

He'll look at you, smile, kiss your forehead and you will wake up confused as to how he shut you up so quickly.

NI-KI

Riki is definitely a little more honest but thats what you love about him!

“I can see all your teeth babe, what’s got you cheesing?” he says to you as he sits down on the bed 

“I have so much to tell you!” you say to him patting the space beside you for him to come and lay in. 

“And I have so much sleep to catch up on!” He says mockingly as he lays down next to you. You pout to which he kisses you and says “Go on, talk my ear off” 

You start going off on a tangent and he is just looking at you with a boxy smile on his face and laughing at how your facial expressions are so dramatic in comparison to the light hearted story you’re telling 

He stares at you with glistening eyes after his 40th yawn in a row 

“You know you talk too much, right? It’s a good thing you’re cute” he would say pulling you into a hug 

“That’s rude! and I wasn’t don—” you are interrupted by a kiss on the lips 

“I promise to listen all day tomorrow, okay? Let’s sleep now?” He says rubbing circles on your back, with his eyes already closed.

[marrycv]

Pick up your phone!

paring : toxic!ellie x toxic!reader

warnings : Mention of weed, alcohol. Ellie’s punishment with sex. Mention of nudes. Oral (e!receiving), fingering (r!reveiving). Language, nicknames such as : slut, doll, angel, baby, bitch, motherfocker (and others). mention of yn like twice. Mention of cheating and lying and many other bad things 😅. Ellie and reader are NOT healthy, do not romanticize their relationship, its fucked up. Porn w out plot? (kinda). Both reader and ellie are mean and does fucked up shit. 18+

summary : You wait Ellie again. she’s late for 4 hours and she wants to make it up to you. But you didn’t want to fall in her arms this time- which you obviously lost at trying to do. Ellie’s mad and has a punishment for you when she was in the wrong, and you had every right to be mad at her.

kinda a scrap this is bad 🙏

short asf

you :

00:12 - Ellie, where are you?

00:34 - Ellie istg answer me!!

1:02 - c’mon you said you’d come over today

Els 🖕🏻:

1:55 - im omw

1:57 - dont bother.

2:01 - im sorry im late

2:01 - you’re always sorry, dont come home and go fuck one of your stupid fangirls

2:02 - im coming over

2:02 - i said no

2:03 - c’mon lemme make it up to you 💋

2:05 - im gonna block you

2:32 - yn? !message not delivered!

“fuck” Ellie mumbled under her breath, going out of the studio and jumps in her Truck. going over speed’s limit and then knocking hard enough on your apartment to wake up everyone else in the combo.

you get up from your bed, unable to sleep due to waiting for her all night.

you open your door and when you see Ellie standing in front of it, smelling weed and alcohol, you know she wasn’t gonna be easy to deal with tonight.

“Ellie go home, its 3 in the morning…”

“cmon let me in baby” she said in a whisper, almost sounding like a whine.

You and Ellie’s relationship was complicated- that was what you were saying to your friends, because the amount of time you two broke up, that she cheated on you, that you would expose her nudes on internet, that she would sleep with a stranger just to piss you off and somehow you’d still let her come back in your arms- as she did the same with you. you would do shitty things as well, like saying to all of her fans that the concert was cancelled or that it changed location. you could also post on twitter her worse secrets when you learned that she cheated on you. you’d also make up lies about some random stuff just to get a revenge out of her.

but mostly she would just fuck up your trust for her like coming home 4 hours later or cheating on the infinite amount of girls. she’d also love bomb you to get you back and then would disappear for weeks. she also showed all of her band’s member the sextape she got of you- and you knew after Dina, the base player told it to you. You and ellie would randomly call eachothers- especially when she or you were under something, most likely weed or alcohol but sometimes something else. It wasnt rare that you would make her jealous and posting a story of you and a girl on instagram and she’d come over to fuck you dumb. only to wake up alone in the bed.

“ellie please i just wanna sleep tonight, no fight.”

“and please i just wanna say sorry, no fight.” Ellie answered, thinking she was a smart girl for this one

you rolled your eyes.

“are you even able to walk?” you asked her, seeing her flushed cheeks and her eyes red like hell

“of course i am baby, im okay.. please let me just make it up to you im so sorry im late”

“no youre not! because you wouldve told me you’d come home late or you wouldve just told me that you were busy!!!”

“im so sorry..” she says in a childish tone, just as if she was mocking you for being so mad.

“fuck off els”

Ellie rolled her eyes and made her way inside, taking steps closer to you.

“dont talk to me like that.” Ellie says, looking right into your eyes- mood changing suddenly, she didnt get the answer she wanted.

“you dont show up 4 hours late, bitch”

Ellie’s jaw tightened and she looked at you furiously

“tell me you just wanted to fuck me Ellie.”

“dont you ever call me ‘bitch’ again.”

“or what? you’re gonna leave? that already happened, i can survive it.”

“nah.. im gonna give you a lesson.”

“the fuck you mean?”

“get on your knees” Ellie said, tone demanding.

“i wont do shit you ask me to do Ellie.” you say scared of what she’s gonna ask you to do. you have some suspicions, but your mind is overthinking about so many possibilities.

Ellie puts her hands on your shoulders and force you to get you on your knees. She looks at you from down and she takes off her pants along with her boxers.

“you know what to do now.” Ellie tells you, intertwining her fingers with your hair, pulling you closer to her pussy. You start to give her short licks, obviously nothing enough for her.

“I swear to god you motherfucker if you dont do what-“

Ellie started but got cut off with one of her whines by you sucking her clit like your life depended on it. Your knees hurts, but her grip in your hair is too strong for you to move. your holding her by the thighs, moaning against her cunt by how good she tastes. obviously pussydrunk by her. and the perfect little grunts she would make made you so fucking wet. her hips would be jerking against your face, riding your tongue the best she could to chase your high. Ellie would never tell you, but you ever were the only one to make her cum. she knew that it would make your ego so much too high if she told you that on countless girls you were the only one able to please her. you know her sweet spots and she wasnt scared to be vulnerable with you. she always was. and you always were too.

“Fuck- fuck.. just like that, yeah”

her grunts would turn into whines and her whines into small moans. Ellie wasnt that much of a loud girl, but you knew if she was vocal- it was good. it made you laugh, sending vibrations through her clit.

“Im gonna- fuckkk!!” she moans out as she cums in your mouth. you still suck her clit as she rides your tongue for her high to be longer.

you get up from your knees and ellie kisses you, tasting herself on your tongue. the kiss turns rapidly messy and rough. Ellie would hold you by the hips, directing you by the bed. as soon as you touched the bed, she made you lay down on it and she got on top of you, still making out with you. her kisses got on your jaw until your neck. she then took a pause to look at you. you were eye doying her- she would always win. you were her little slut.

“only needed my” puts a finger into your core “fingers to shut that attitude huh?”

she takes off your shirt- which you were braless under it. peaking already your tits, ellie titled her head, smirking

“you got ready for me, doll?”

you nodded, wanting more of her.

“nuh huh, words baby, i want words.” she told you as the sucked one of your nipples as one of her hand was massaging the other breast. as her other hand was working on your clit to make you feel sooo good.

“j-just for you els!” you obey to her request, only wanting her to go faster.

“faster el- faster!!” you try to manage to tell her.

“faster huh?” Ellie says as she just slows her pace of her fingers brushing against that sweet spot of yours.

“please ellie!!” you beg for her to go faster as she just slows down again and again.

“i didnt say you’d get a good time Baby, this is your punishment, as deserved.”

“please.. ill be good Ellie- never gonna be m-mean with you ever” you faked promised her, just needed to tell her whatever she wanted to hear.

“yeah? you’d do this for me, angel?” Ellie asks as shes at only one finger, completely ruining you. completely making you cry for more- needing more.

“id do anything- just please fuck me ellie, fuck me.”

-

2 days after this huge mistake. You and Ellie started to do this kind of thing all the time. She’d piss you off, you’d be mad, she’d become madder for something she made you mad at- and would finish as sex. the only way you two did work out with.

she made you feel so good and you made her feel better.

This was unhealthy, but she was so addictive.

she’d come home in the middle of the night- wouldnt care if you were deep asleep or had a party- she’d take care of that pussy no matter what. Her songs would be about you two relationships.

Everyone liked it.

and you were happy you had such a big impact that she wrote- and sang about you.

But she didnt see you that pretty- you were her fucking toy.

14:01 : why the fuck did you say that i was toxic in your song?

15:56 : because you are.

15:59 : fuck you els

16:01 : you wish <3

16:01 : you’re the toxic one in our relationship

16:30 : 💀💀 hell nah

16:31 : Ellie how many times did you cheat on me?

17:23 : babe, we were on break how many times do i get to tell you that?

17:23 : anyways i gtg ill see you tonight ;)

She wasnt easy and you werent either.

but whatever, she has become way more famous than ever.

she’d send you those pictures before a show, trying to make you come to one (which you did but didnt tell her).

“does that feel good els?” you say as your face was in between her thighs, on your knees just like how she loved you like that.

“fuck babe dont stop!!” Ellie would tell you into a soft tone, not so much like that little ‘dominant’ cover she’s making everyone believe she was. she was always the one screaming your name over and over.

she then would make you see heaven with her cock filling you up, camera in one hand and the other one on your breast. She’d look at it all the time, rolling circles on her clit whenever she missed you and you blocked her so she couldnt ask you for any nudes- she has better, she could literally see you in action getting fucked by her.

she loved you, that was why she was so fucked up at showing it.

and you just were getting revenge for how she made you feel.

But in a way you two belonged together.

But she’d still use you for your amazing body and how good your tongue felt against her cunt.

you were her little stress reliever. (you’d let her do whatever she wanted to you- you’d just never tell her that)

request are open 💋

[imasimpforshanks]

voicemails they leave when they’re missing you

ft. zoro, sanji, law, shanks

a/n: what i would give to have someone leave me a cute voicemail 🥲🥲 maybe part 1 of 2?????? Idk anyway sorry for not posting for a bit! Work has been insane lately????? Idk what it is with kids at the moment but they are kind of feral BUT I STILL LOVE THEM WITH MY WHOLE HEART

— zoro —

“hey dumbass, i know you miss me so i thought I’d phone you so you could hear my voice or whatever… it’s not like i miss you or anything…. (sighs)

okay fine (quieter) i miss you so much, shit. it’s just getting crazier and crazier by the day out here and I- (louder) OI PISS OFF YOU STUPID CHEF IM ON THE PHONE - (voice back to normal) sorry about that, you know how that damn cook is… anyway what was i saying?

oh yeah… things are heating up and well i guess shit is going down soon so just… be safe out there. i love you.

i’ll see you soon.”

— sanji —

“HELLO THE ABSOLUTE LOVE OF MY LIFE! it is now day 2763 without seeing your face and i am just withering away!! okay so maybe not that many days, but i am indeed withering away. if i don’t get to see you soon i may DIE! And no, im not being “dramatic”. I’m being serious.

i miss your face, i miss your laughter, i miss your hugs and kisses, i miss the smell of your perfume… I miss the way you keep me company when i cook….

ANYWAY MY LOVE, I hope you are safe and well. Please call me as soon as you have the chance. I love you with all my heart.”

— law —

“uhh hi- hello- hey… i know it’s the middle of the night but ive come to the annoying realization that its even harder than normal for me to sleep without you around. so i just thought… maybe hearing your voice or something would help… I don’t know.

i’m actually happy you didn’t pick up though- no! wait! I didn’t mean it like that- i just… ugh. okay im barely functioning right now… but you got what i meant im sure… i just really miss you. I know we’re seeing each other again soon but ya know? (lets out a deep sigh).

i-uh i love you, yn. call me when you wake up.”

— shanks —

“i was really hoping you’d pick up baby, ive got so much to update you on!

i literally saw the funniest thing ever today and im not even exaggerating. we were out strolling through this new town and these kids ran passed me playing in the street but then i shit you not this bird just started swooping at them out of no where and they were screaming and crying and i know i should feel bad for him and im a bit of an asshole for laughing and shit but oh my god baby i was nearly pissing my pants with laughter.

(calms down) anyway… was hoping i’d get to hear your voice… (laughs awkwardly) this whole long distance shit never gets any easier does it? i hope everything is okay back home. I’ll try phoning you again later.

love ya baby, and miss you like crazy.”

[enlighten3d]

Hi sorry I know this might be really personal and you obviously don't have to answer if you don't want to but you post a lot about being aroace and I've been thinking about that for myself kind of a lot lately and was just wondering how you know for sure that that's what you are as opposed to not having found the right person yet kind of thing that people always tell you.

Again sorry personal absolutely don't feel pressured.

mmmm okay so! idm answering this, im happy to help (: but for claritys sake: i am asexual by definition, but i dont indentify as such! i only id as aromantic bcs thats the only indentity that actually feels important and like a part of me. might not make any sense but whatever lol

how i knew that im aro? i just. found the label, and was like, 'sure, why not.' and it stuck. its... for the difference between being aro and not having found the right person yet, its that, well. okay, so what if youre not actually aro? you do meet someone you love romantically even after youve ided as aro for years? cool, whatever, you can keep the aro label, or change it. or you never do fall in love romantically, and dont need to do anth abt the label.

what im saying is... mm okay label is a misnomer. i once heard someone say that labels are more akin to fridge magnets - you stick them on, and maybe they stay and you like how they look and make you happy. or maybe you stick them on and they look bad and you dont like them so you take them down. or maybe you stick them on and you like them for a while, but it starts feeling wrong eventually, so you take them down. labels - like magnets - arent permanent.

its impossible to really, truly, make a mistake in finding a label that explains your experiences. even if its wrong, there was smth that felt right abt it at that time. its a part of your journey. we, as people, are ever-changing - its literally impossible to know what will happen tomorrow, nevermind in a few years (sorry the isat reference is mostly unintentional).

so how did i know? i stuck the aro magnet on. and i like how it looks for now, maybe forever. maybe ill find the 'right one' or whatever, or maybe i wont. if i do, then whatever, down goes the magnet. if i dont (and i dont think i will, for the record! i dont have any Reasoning, its just... okay ill explain this next paragraph), then up there it stays. youre free to say youre aro for now and then change it if it ever changes. theres nothing stopping you, nonnie

as for yeah, whatever vague wording i can give to my reasoning, its... standard stuff, sorry. ive never understood romance? i think its completely fucking unnecessary and overrated. stupid, even. i straightup Do Not Get It. i forced myself to say i have a crush on a guy in gr4 bcs everyone else was talking abt crushes. decided i was romantically attracted to this girl in dance class bcs i liked her vibes. trying to conform to actually wanting romance when i just dont. dated this girl in gr8, and then when we broke up (i am bad at communication and unfortunately incredibly fucking clingy), i was like... 'huh, i didnt really feel that different about her than i did abt any of my other friends'. i just really really cared abt her and wanted to be close w her, and the only way i knew how to do that was 'romance'. but that wasnt it. found out abt aro ppl (forget how; memory is Trash), and was like 'oh damn, thats... that makes sense'. i definitely had a crisis and Logic but i do not remember that, sorry. all of this is pieced together from old text messages and half-remembered memories hajdjdzkzos

imo the concept of a 'right one' is pretty damn fucking stupid (/nay; at Society). 8 billion ppl on earth. im not going to find this hypothetical right one who can change absolutely everything about me and my identity. ive got the ppl around me that i already love. im happy w that. chasing after some hypothetical infinitesimal chance of a person whos Perfect for oneself is just a damn waste of time

so just... these decisions dont have to be permanent, nonnie. youre allowed to be wrong and realise that you werent actually aroace. youre allowed to be wrong. so if you want my advice? say youre aroace. stick the magnet on, see if it falls off or not. its still a valid and valuable part of your journey. youre allowed to be wrong. youre always allowed to be wrong.

i mean, afterall, how can one be sure that they ARE allo? that they WILL find that 'right one'? through experience. so fuck around, find out. stick that magnet on.

good luck (: i rly rly hope this is helpful and not just me repeating what youve already heard, sry for yapping so much LMAO. i have a lot to say

[cupoftaae]

Could you do one where y/n is walking to home alone at night and is scared of someone and calls tae or somethingg ? :)) I love the Forever and a Day series!

Hello angel! sorry for the delay in post, been busy offline but im gonna get through my requests now, thank you for reading and loving the series! <3

No warnings, enjoy!!

"why are we getting dessert at 1am?"....."why not?" KTH DRABBLE

"Hi sweetheart, are you just getting out?" Taehyung sat up in bed, phone up to his ear as he picked up your call.

"Hi baby, yeah.." you exhale, walking out of your building and walking to go catch the train home to your apartment.

The past few weeks youve been working as an assistant dance instructor at a fine arts school. You loved teaching and dancing everyday, but some nights were long, and you couldnt let the students leave unless their choreography was perfect.

"How was work then?" he asked, feeling more awake

"well...we finished the main choreo which is actually really good considering we just started teaching it last saturday. I think they are catching onto it now....but we still had to stay late and do costumes and what not..."

"busy, busy girl" he chuckled softly, fidgeting with his shirt as he heard the tiredness in your voice.

"yeah you got that right" you sigh and walk over to cross the street, eyeing the boarding platform for the train. "I'll be home soon, okay?"

"ok my love..."

"do you want me to pick up anything? Im at the train but I can stop quickly at the 24 hour market and bu-"

"hello!"

You stopped talking to your boyfriend as you heard a voice appear behind you. You turned to meet eyes with a much taller man wearing a grey hoodie and baggy navy blue sweatpants. He could have been anywhere between 30-40 years old.

"Uhm-..hi?" you smiled quickly, confused. You hadnt seen anyone around when you first arrived.

"whos there with you?" taehyung listens in to the unfamiliar voice

"hang on, tae" you mumble, putting the phone down as the man steps a bit closer.

"you look very pretty!" the older man spoke calmly, making you cringe. He smelled of cigarettes and booze.

"oh...thanks, im not interested in anything...im sorry. Just waiting to catch the train" you nod and point at the empty tracks in front of you, putting the phone back up to your ear as you turn

"baby whos that?" taehyung frowned, turning down the tv so he could listen more closely.

"I dont know...im at the train and some guy is just trying to talk to me" you whisper through gritted teeth.

"what??" he panics

"how old are you?" the guy asks, now closer to you than before.

"sir...im a little uncomfy with you being so close, I am just trying to get home to my boyfriend, its very late." you try to speak without your voice shaking.

"ah come on...dont be like that, im sure he wont mind if your home a little later. why dont we go have a little fun?" he mumbled

you felt your heart sink to your stomach as you immediately backed up. you wish you hadn't left your stupid pepper spray at home.

"Y/N?" tae called out, but your phone was by your side as you looked back at him. "please.....just go away" you try again

He simply laughed and continued to step closer before a cop that mustve been nearby came up behind him, grabbing his attention.

"hello sir, mind if I ask why you are out here this late?"

He scoffed, shrugging dramatically.

The cop continued to press questions as you quickly made a gesture of appreciation and fled without him noticing you.

You ran off the platform and back into the parking lot of some random store, picking up the phone to see tae was still on the line.

"taehyung??"

"Y/N, what happened? whats going on??" his voice was fast, concerned.

"I- I dont know, i ran away but some guy was near me asking me questions and I just- the cop came by but im afraid to go to the train again...im just-"

"where are you right now?" he stopped you

you turn around to see the 7/11 type market before you, "Im by the convenient store on 11th street..."

"okay stay there, go inside if you can...im coming to get you okay?"

"okay..." you breathe out and sit on the curb right next to the front door, still shaking a bit as your eyes nervously peered around the street, cars passing every now and then.

Taehyung grabbed his keys and was gone within the next 5 minutes, his own nervousness getting to him. He drove to you, keeping you on the line to speak.

"what did he look like?"

"tae i dont know, he was just older...creepy. smelled awful."

"im so sorry that this happened, are you okay?"

"im fine...im just scared now" you laugh breathily.

"im almost there, ok?"

"mhm"

your feet swung against the concrete parking lot before you saw the familiar headlights of your boyfriend pulling in. you waved to grab his attention, him parking the car close to you.

He got out and hugged you, swaying lightly. "its okay"

you give him a squeeze, "im sorry you had to come all the way over here so late.."

"shh dont apologize, you should always keep this with you though" he grabbed the pepper spray you left at home, shoving it into your backpack as you laughed.

"but its pinkkkk" you whined

"so?"

"what guy is gonna be afraid of some pink pepper spray?"

"hey, pepper spray is pepper spray, you just have the bedazzled version. You spray and slay" he shrugged, making you cringe audibly.

"never fucking say that again" you laugh, pointing in his face as he holds your hand in his, beginning his walk to the markets front door.

"why are we going in here?" you ask

"mine as well" he smiled and opened the door, walking in and eyeing the people- free isles.

You followed him as he darted to the back of the building, lifting up the glass case and picking up 2 vanilla ice creams, then going to grab 2 iced coffees.

"whats all this?"

"dessert" he looked back and winked jokingly as he made his way to ring up the items.

You scoffed and stood behind him as he paid, "And why are we getting dessert at 1am?"

"why not" he chuckled and handed you the ice cream and coffee

"valid point" you giggle, "thank you"

He kissed your forehead and led you back out to the car, getting in and enjoying your late night snack.

"so you said the cop stopped him?"

you nodded, licking your cone and looking out the window. "He reeked of alcohol so I doubt it was because he was stalking some young girl....wonder if he was even arrested" you scoff

He hummed, pondering in thought.

The car went quiet for a moment

"do you think hes in the back seat?" tae suddenly spoke, side eyeing you.

"Tae!!!" you shout, playfully smacking his arm as he defensively raised his hands

"sorry, sorry!"

"one more word and im pepper spraying you"

[angelicjackles]

saw ur post abt dean and cassie and honestly i loved her so much she was beautiful (move over dean it’s my turn) and i honestly feel like he should’ve stayed with her in s5 instead of Lisa….

like don’t get me wrong i love Lisa she’s beautiful and kind but she was with Dean for 3 days, all he really did was give her good sex and then come back 7 years later for the case and then she let him stay with her and her son for a year like??

she barely knew his ass and she had a whole child too like you don’t know this man and you’re letting him stay with you and your son?… oh okay..

it would’ve made more sense for cassie to be more involved, since dean was literally in love with her, and by this i mean involved as in the same way Jess also haunted the narrative but we also have to keep in mind that this was in 2005 and the fandom didn’t like most of Deans love interests (which is why they’re either killed off or written out)

which is also why im pretty sure dean said at the end that they were “never going to work out” like they should’ve given her another chaaaaance 💔 my queen

hi, love! i couldn't agree more. the whole lisa storyline made no sense to me considering they had one (1) weekend together several years ago but he goes to her of all people, and she lets him in? this incredible one night stand she had in like... her late teens early 20s age, just lets him back in around her son when she hadn't spoken to dean in years? yeah i think not. in my opinion dean isn't the type who would have put himself around her knowing ben was in the picture anyway, not with the mindset he was in when he showed up at her door, he was a mess and subjecting a kid to that is just... not something he'd do, no matter how fucked up in the head he is after losing sam.

i also am just not the biggest fan of lisa period, no hate against her but that entire narrative was kind of stupid and overdone in my opinion. they really played up how similar to dean ben was, like they literally gave him moments of being a complete mini dean to the point it was cliche and then emphasised that no but he's not your son lisa just has a type so he's taking after the dad he never met. plus the idea that dean kept going back to lisa despite knowing how dangerous it was to be associated with her, and said that on numerous occasions... that whole plot just dragged on for too long in my opinion, it didn't feel like dean.

it would have made more logical sense if he'd of went back to cassie during that year, someone he actually was in a relationship with, who he loved, who he liked enough to tell her the fucking family secret, someone he'd reunited with a lot more recently than lisa. even if they didn't end up dating in that year, even just letting cassie by his stability and his anchor while he was trying to keep himself afloat. that would have been enough.

but as you said it was back in the day and the fandom did not like any of the potential love interests, so who knows. either way i still wish they'd have brought cassie back at some point. even if it wasn't getting back with dean, just having her in the story or giving an update on where she was at modern day would have been so cool - kind of like the way they very briefly brought sarah back and allowed her to reunite with sam (obviously the outcome there wasn't good, but still, the general idea still applies)

long story short. i'm obsessed with cassie and just mad we never saw her again.

this was... so long, i am so sorry for all my yapping asgdknelh

[wolfstrong]

Okay fine I’ll finally blog about what happened that’s right I had recent stupid boy drama oh you thought this chapter had closed no it hadn’t. Okay so obviously I’m still gonna go to the club where I met him during the summer cuz that’s the only club I like but since I last stopped talking to him and saw him two days later at that club (this was back in September) I haven’t seen him around since. And of course haven’t talked to him. Well 1 week ago Friday I DID end up running into him at the club by chance. And last time I saw him it was like yeah no hard feelings whatever so I just went up to say hi to him. Bro TELL ME WHY he was completely shook by my presence. Like he was instantly freaking out. Like the first thing he said was like “oh my god you look so different your hair looks different did you change you hair?!” And the answer to that is like no. But like him immediately wanting to comment on my appearance like okay so you think I’m cute but you don’t know how to say that. Okay anyway then he kept saying over and over again “WOW ITS JUST SO WEIRD TO SEE YOU AGAIN” like we’d be talking and he’d just take a pause and say this and he did this like 10 times I’m not kidding and I was like “jeez whys it weird” and he was just like “uhhh” anyway we talked for a long time and NO I didn’t force him to speak with me he had free will and no I didn’t like try and do anything romantic I pretty much just wanted tell him I was sorry about the way things turned out and he said he was really sorry too. And he said that it was hard for him because we used to talk every day and now we don’t. So like yeah I guess we both miss each other kinda which sucks. And when he said he missed talking to me I was like “you know I learned a lot and I’m really serious this time we can just be friends if you want I wasn’t serious the last time but this time I really am” WHICH IS TRUE I can be his friend and expect nothing but he was so weird about it. He was pretty much just like no we can’t JUST be friends. OH AND I FORGOT TO MENTION this entire conversation he was looking at me EXTREMELY intensely like he wanted to kiss me. Like at multiple points I thought he might kiss me “gar your so delusional he was not thinking that” GUYS MY FRIEND WAS THERE SHE WAS SHOCKED BY IT TOO. she was like Jesus why did he look at you like that like he was in love with you. Like bro im so serious he gave me goo goo gaga puppy dog eyes the whole time I was like what. But anyway he pretty much said like we wouldn’t work as friends but I feel like the implication was because the attraction between us is mutual??? So like he can’t be my friend cuz he likes me but then he can’t like me for unknown reasons ??!?! ?!?? Anyway I was like “yeah if you miss talking to me you could always text me” but I knew he wouldn’t and he hasn’t and I’m not gonna text him I’m never gonna text him first. I’ll also never ever make a move on him or do anything romantic. I feel like if I did that to him it’d feel completely against his will just because at this point he’s made it clear he doesn’t want to date me and I want to respect that. So at this point I’m completely powerless and it’s very frustrating, especially after our encounter where he acted like he liked me so much. Anyway I’m not like hung up over any of this stuff. Nothing happened our status is still completely the same. I guess seeing him again made me miss him again but also it was nice to see him and be able to say I’m sorry and know he doesn’t completely hate me. Oh and also like 3 days before I saw him I told my friend “I think he’s thinking about me” and when I saw him he was like “I’ve been thinking about you lately”. And he said that he’d seen my Instagram story. And then I posted 2 insta stories on Christmas and he watched them both in like 15 minutes. So now I feel like he’s very curious about what I’m up to. But like I said none of this really changes anything. I really really missed him last night because I went back to the club and it was just shitty everyone was being shitty to me and I was like Jesus I wish

He was here so I had someone to talk to. Cuz like long story short my friend kinda abandoned me and then guys who I didn’t want to talk to kept trying to talk to me and get my attention and it was just like bruh if he was here I could just talk to him. It’s just like extremely frustrating and I have to let him go because obviously he’s got some kind of strange hang ups he’ll never explain to me and I just need to move on. It’s just frustrating

[fappellmoan]

bitch post time!!!!!! many revelations ok last night's vibes were HEINOUS but it provided so much for me and lydia to talk about and now i am gonna share with you yippee storytime

k so we plan to go to this valentines day showcase thing that the college radio is putting on last night. mind you at my place of work where i pretended that i had a family emergency and had to go home cause i didnt feel like going into work yesterday morning lol idiot... i was so paranoid my boss was there in disguise or some shit it was stupid. sorry um. yeah so ok i was largely like this could be a chance for friend groups to come together and maybe ill be able to talk to sams roommate and also like i do want to see more live music and it's free! so. anyway ok wait let me tell u abt the first part of the day

so me and lydia drive over some wine bottles to sam for him to use as props in a film. and sam and the roommate are sitting on their porch and we chat a little bit acc sam said as i walked up 'you always look so suspicious' and i was like 'ok u guys were literally just staring at me' cause they WERE and roommate was actually really nicely like 'oh no you're okay' and generally was just kind of inserting into our convo which well i had fun with naturally. um anyway and then who comes running up but teko! our buddy teko. and sams like have yall met and im like Of course and teko gives me a hug and i cant lie it was actually so sweet. i am also extremely touch starved but it was a nice hug. anyway. then i had to help roommate pick shoes alongside teko's fit and then i was like um Ok Bye. when i got back in the car lydia was like so i saw a neon sweatshirt... and i was like yeah <3 that's my man <3 sorry ok vibes get worse as the night comes

me and lydia end up getting to sam's late to 'pregame' this show and ig it was supposed be like. it was encouraged to dress formally. and i was wearing a dress that was too small and my chappell red tights and docs. kind of a serve but me and lydia were serving much more valentines day than formal. anyway. roommate does swing around to be like hi! and THEN i see my girl chloe i looooove her shes so fuckin funny and weird and we made this weird little short together in class last semester and i was kinda intimidated by her so i was so happy shocked when she was like I was so excited to see u :D WEEE shes so cool guys and has the funniest fuckin laugh and well honestly the high points of the night were us and lydia fucking around and dancing and being weird and offputting wallflowers cause again this thing SUCKED. ok

we did also smoke beforehand and i accidentally took this huge hit and then thought id be fine w a little more but brother was i feeling funny. did not eat enough and didnt take water it was atrocious. so. we get there and let me tell you if I WAS WORKING i'd have been able to fix the fact that it was soooooooooo fucking loud in there like bad bad bad audio distortion etc i wanted to kick this dude off the mixer but like what ever... it hurt so bad. and the lights were mostly on until chloe and sam duped this guy into dimming some of them but even still it was giving middle school dance. without the fun cheesy music. some of my instagram gay people are there. um but sorry there was simply no way i was going near that dance floor like the bands lowkey highkey sucked (i mean it was just a bunch of white college dudes and they did not slay. shocker. sam kept being like 'they're so good' and we were like um haha... straight face emoji)

we acc disappeared for a while to another floor for the br and just chilled for like half an hour (and security came to find us lmfaooo but ended up just leaving) and i was feeling odd and out of body and too aware of how i looked and it was just not great i was like we're the only bitches serving cunt here... um. anywho. so like later theres a slow dance and roommate is dancing with this other girl i only know from instagram till this point and i suppose if i was really feeling myself i could have tried to make a move but i was not. once again. vile vibes in this place. like i dont mean to be a pussy i typically would be much more charming and fun if i wanted to flirt and kinda felt the vibe from them but i was not really enjoying myself LMAO

then some more of the friend group shows up at the end and sam's like 'drama is actively going down' and im like Wuhhhh the fuck and i feel like a few of them r looking at me and i was just like get me OUT of here but for some fuck ass reason was still like nooooo we should go over and have pizza w sam and them. forgive me for thinking they had like frozen pizza or smth and i could get some free food out of this no we had to sit there and wait for dominos or whatever

AND THE MOST ANNOOOOOOOOOOOYING AWFUL TERRIBLE GROSS MEN YOUVE EVER MET SAT THERE AND JOINED THE BRIEF SMOKE CIRCLE AND THEN WERE JUST THERE AND LIKE YOU COULD JUST FEEL THEM TAKING UP SPACE AND US 'GIRLS' WERE MADE TO FEEL SO SMALL ON THE FUCKING COUCH I WAS SOOOOOOOO TIRED. had to get a sweater cause i felt so uncomfortable. girl i really was only there in case i could have a saving grace moment with roommate im so serious. well and for chloe but otherwise me and lydia shoulda been outta there

literally chloe was so excited to show our little video to people and sam cut us off from getting there to show us the fucking fidget spinner game he has on his tv. girl get out! oh my fucking god. finally lydias like Cool anyway so - like sams misogyny jumped out in previously unprecedented ways. it was bad. these boys were truly making me want to kill myself im sorry like it was so bad i have curated my experience so as to be away from that for so long it was really jarring. and what you need to understand about sam is that he's almost died twice and kind of has a funny little gender vibe going on and so for a while now yeah we've gotten along through silly odd things we relate through but holy shit....... that was so offputting i cant even wrap my brain around it

also sam very much walked me into like yaoi-fying him and his best friend and then was like haha noooo why r u calling us gay ur so weird bitch just fuck him already im tired and also dont care.. hes so attention seeking and not used to um not being the center of attention. sorry! oopsies anyway so

so then im like ew like i kinda need to reassess um. the people im around. and again cant stress enough how gross and judged and just kinda old i felt surrounded by these ppl even tho theyre all like within a year of age? and like roommate still seems maybe cool but since we didnt actually talk and they were off w the other roommate/other ppl i cant help but associate them w the odd vibes but like. honestly idk i might just try to uh slide into their dms rlly casually. bc. well idk how the friend group is fracturing and it wouldnt surprise me if they were annoyed with sam esp living with him but obv i dont really know. but again let me stress this friend group has been friends since their freshman year like what r yall doing yeah u do need to break up....

so i figure since they're hot (and kinda tiny i cant tell if they're shorter than me or just right around my height) (but also they kind of scared me by giving Instagram face while posing for a pic last night i cant do any more people giving off dorian gray rn. but i was also under the influence so um that didnt help) i could just yeah be brave see how it goes and worst case scenario it's not a vibe yk. and best case scenario i get to hang w them and teko. teko so gives francis. anyway

OH also sam and the friends insisted on listening to this ai generated… thing like idk guys i think i was in hell fr

also had several men yell out of their cars at me and staring at me as we walked to the bus stop :/ so men really do ruin everything btw

um. so. that was the night! thx for reading if u did. i am excited to be around other fun silly cool queer people god bless fuck these people

[bradleybearx]

YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED

Hello this is my first time publishing one of my imagines on tumblr as I put up on my last post.

I hope you enjoy and please feel free to comment, message with ideas, request's, or suggestions thank you.

Is a long imagine I’m sorry but I hope you enjoy xx

- WARNINGS - LANGUAGE - VIOLENCE - - 1.5K WORDS -

- EDITED -

💍

"You're getting married" I whisper as I look at Brad in shock at what he just planted on me.

The thing was the girl he was marrying is a lying, using, cheater, and he doesn't even listen to anyone of his mates, family, or me because he doesn't believe she would do something like that to him.

"Yeah I am" He nods with a smile.

"Bradley" I sigh.

"I know, okay none of yous like her but can’t you at least just be happy for me for once please, you're my best friend"

"Brad I want to be happy for you, really I do, but I can’t not when I know she cheats on you all the time and is using you for fame and money, you just never want to believe me"

"No you just wanna ruin my relationship just because you're fucking jealous it’s not you" He scoffs as he shakes his head in disappointment.

"No I'm just looking out for my best friend because I know you'd do the same if you saw my partner cheating, I care about you Id never ruin your relationship on purpose Bradley" I stare at him as his eyes locked with mine.

"You’re right, but at least I wouldn't lie to you" He grabs his jacket walking past me.

"I would never lie to you" My voice breaks.

"I don’t want you at my wedding" He looks over at me from the front door as my heart sank deep into my chest "Clare doesn't want you there either"

"Okay" I nod as tears threatened my eyes "Please go" My voice breaks again as he nods and closes the door behind him and I walk into my bedroom.

I sit in bed as I let the tears stream down my face. I had to admit yes I love him in so much, and yes seeing him with her hurt but I was happy for him well that was until I seen her with this one guy all the time and I asked her about it and she legit told me she's been seeing him and using Brad for his money so all I was trying to do was protect him not because I was jealous but because he doesn't deserve that.

- TWO WEEKS LATER -

I was at home still upset about Brad and I's friendship, it just felt like it meant nothing to him which made it hurt even worse. I haven't heard anything from him in the past two weeks and really I just wanted my best friend back no matter what I had to except even if that meant letting her use him I just wanted my best friend back. I walk into the kitchen as my phone lights up as I let out sigh and unlock my phone to check the message.

- UNKOWN - Hey - Y/N - Hey, who's this? - UNKNOWN - Brads fiancé, Clare - UNKNOWN - Its funny he didn't believe you, I told you he wouldn't have fun being alone stupid bitch :)

I put my phone down as I ignore her last message. I checked my fridge and noticed I had to do some shopping otherwise I’d have nothing left. I had a quick shower first then drove to the store with a list. As im walking around the isle I notice a tall familiar blonde.

"Y/N" Tristan smiles and pulls me into a hug.

"Hey" I smile softly.

"Missed you girl, haven't seen you in like ages" He laughs "How you doing" He asks sympathetically.

"Honestly could be better" I nod trying not to cry for the one thousandth time these past two weeks.

"He misses you, he's turned into a real asshole ever since two weeks ago when he told us you weren’t invited to the wedding, just so you know we all believe you alright, I just hope Brad pulls his head out his ass and realises it before it’s to late" I nod as look past Tristan and I noticed Clare and the same guy she's always hanging with.

"I hope he does, I really dont want to see him hurt or lose the people that actually care about him" I point to them as Tristan looks over to them and lets out a sigh.

"We have all told him, when he told us what happened between you two we told him how stupid it was that he did that to you, he's now pushed us all away, even his parents, told us not to come to the wedding either because Clare doesn't want us their"

"Wait what" I ask "Even his parents" I question.

"Yeah" He nods.

"He adores them though" I shake my head “And the band” I ask.

“He doesn’t show up, told us he might quit because we don’t support him, but how can we when she’s treating him like shit hey”

“The band is his baby he… she’s really messing him up” I sigh.

————

I finished shopping and as I sit in my car I debated on whether I should go visit Brad and talk to him.

“Fuck it” I start my car.

I drop my shopping home and unpack it then grab my keys again and drive to his apartment. When I arrived I noticed it was only his car in the driveway. I look down as my phone pings with a message.

- UNKNOWN - Have fun with my leftovers slut, all he was good for was money and sex :)

I put my phone down as I let out a sigh and open my car door. I walk up to his door and knock as a couple minutes later it swings open as he stumbles holding the door open.

"Bradley" My heart broke at the sight of him, he smelt of alcohol, he looks like he hasn’t slept in days.

"The fuck you want" He yells.

"I want to talk to you"

"I dont need your fucking pity, you're just here to what finally get what you want huh, why can’t any of you guys just let me be happy" I walk in as he slams the door as I jump.

"We do want you to be happy though Brad we do, why do you think we kept telling you to protect you because we care and don’t want you to get hurt" I walk over to him.

"No yous dont, you're just fucking jealous it wasn't you on my cock huh, thats all you want right, just like she did, little sluts thats what yous are" He yells as I swallow the lump at the back of my throat.

"I'm not after that and you know that, but please drink some water" I walk into his kitchen and grab a cold glass of water for him and hand it him as he throws it at me but luckily I duck it the glass breaks as he slams me into the wall.

"You want it, fine have it then" He tries to push himself on me.

"Brad please stop, please" I whisper.

"What now you dont want it, fuck sake not good enough now right"

"No not like this not while you’re angry and upset, but listen to me you are good enough you just aren’t in the right mindset for that yet okay" A tear fell down my cheek as I push him off of me lightly.

"Don't fucking push me" He slaps me as I grab my cheek as another tear falls.

"I'm sorry" I cry and go to leave but he grabs me which scares me "Please let me go"

"I'm sorry, Y/N im so fucking sorry" He cries.

"Lets just get you to bed okay and water" I sigh.

The next morning I woke up on Brads couch as Brad was leaning against the couch asleep near my head. I smiled to myself as I run my fingers through his soft curls as he slowly wakes up keeping his eyes closed as soon as he opened them.

"I'm sorry love" He whispers "I went too far and im sorry, I should've never done that to you"

"Bradley"

"Please forgive me, I cant lose you, not again" He cries as he looks at me.

"Bradley, its okay, just please never do that again" I wipe his tears.

"Never, I promise you"

“You are good enough don’t think different okay” I smile "But when did you realise" I ask as I sit up.

"About" He sits up next to me.

"Clare"

"I called it off yesterday when Tristan sent through a photo, but not just because what she did but because I wanted you" He sighs "And I wouldn't get married if you weren't there with me or my family or my mates, I wouldn’t be able to do it" He smiles "How about you let me make it up to you for everything I’ve done, let me take you out"

"As in a date" I question as I look at him.

"If thats what you wanna call it then yes, will you go on a date with me love" He laughs.

"I’d love to" I laugh as he leans in and plants his lips softly onto mine.

————

[temporalreverie]

helpppp im too affirmed my posters disease i was a notes app girlie to get my ass off X posting porn on Twitter lol not rlly but like the stupid name um. But then i started posting in tingles <- tumblr. And getting friends and active followers and being way more comfortable talking to people using this site and being friendly and enjoying now I'm soooo affirmed by being qgle to post my stupid random thoughts online again. This would be a notes app for realsies but it's here instead ok

roadmore

readnore

Ayyyyy tehre we go. It's colors BTW like a discord emoji no underscores (I'm on mobile). Okay I saw a bigger quarter sized spider and im sorry i alerted the guards and she was slain u_u (btw I'm using pensive emoticons over emojis recently and loving it) to be fair I.m not in a state to physically content with it if I gets scared and starts running even if I wanted to take it outside. But nobody was responding I literally thought I was trapped in the spider dimension for a second.

I just made whole caff coffee instead of half or decqff and it's like 9pm.tje responsible me would have poured some of it out or wouldn't finish it but mmmm coffee. It's not too late to do that but 👀 Plus can everyone tell. Hi I told everyone and they're all made at you

I need to find my draft

I told everyone

Im already prone to sudden bouts of euphoria and rambling so i srsly don't think they can tell. It would be fine if i did get brought up but I'm getting off on having harmless secrets bc i've been conditioned to be like this for decades :( but this one is funny and it'll only get funnier the longer it goes in when i finally drop the ball casually in conversation B)

Pikmin tunes go hard i almost perfected the treasure board. Holy shit earlier I was so confused bc i kept getting surprised fucked up be the second floors of the second to last row then picking a different one and not being able to remember.

For anyone not in the loop I will be okag and I am okay :D im just praying to pinkie pie real quick

[lighthouseas]

tell me about your specialest boys (gn) !!

okay so i am going to ASSUME u r referencing my original works post? if not, and i am interpreting this completely wrong , please forgive me as i am awful at Understanding things. also it is late at night and i am horrendously sleep deprived but anyway. i am going to interpret specialest boys as talking about my beloved made up tumblr mlm ship , winnett

otherwise known as the ship between my 1895 ocs henry windell and jack bennett. and ohoho boy are they GAY AS HELL

henry, i think, has known he's gay for a while as he's 16 years old and knows he has no interest in women. but he has also been very isolated all his life - living far away from town and only really interacting with his siblings - so when he meets jack, he's so under socialized and out of touch that jack uses it as an opportunity to tease him. which henry hates, of course, because he's uptight and gay and stupid and reserved and hates showing emotion.

jack doesn't know he likes boys until he meets henry, i don't think. i can also see him being bisexual (again, i have not fleshed out these characters as much as i should so. bear with me here) and he definitely doesn't fall in love with henry until later into their friendship. and of course, he's scared at first. rightfully so. but he is DOWN BAD for henry. like. in the trenches fighting for his life down bad.

in this scenario, i can definitely see it as a "henry fell first, jack fell harder" type of situation. also yes. i am aware this is a very trope-y ship, but i love gay romance tropes okay. they r so special to me.

anyway. jack is very Special to me he is just a little trickster and he's smart but also sosososo dumb and like. henry is kind of just There like What The Fuck Is This Boy Doing. right. and jack is always trying to make him laugh and smile and they become besties for the resties because. jack is like, the first real friend henry has ever had!!!! and also his first love but that comes later

anyway. mira (woman that married henry's father, also the main character of the story) finds out about henry and jack's relationship eventually. and while she is definitely confused, she is also supportive - because , when i was conceptualizing her character, i wanted her to be strong and smart and VERY open minded for the time, which is what the windell kids really really needed considering they were dealing with a fucking SIREN BABY. so, while she doesn't completely understand henry's attraction to boys, she accepts him for it, because she considers him her son and she loves him. it brings them closer.

okay im SO sorry for infodumping on u and if i totally misinterpreted this ask i am SO SORRY also if. this makes absolutely 0 sense i answered other asks about this specific original work but i can't link the other asks rn . but they are on the blog if u want to check them out so this isn't totally out of context lmao :)

[chronicbloodynoses]

idk maybe it’s the calm b4 the storm but going from an emotional low to a crazy emotional high??? like idk how to explain it but i just feel so great i feel content with my life like of course there’s always the little things but i just feel like i have such a positive outlook rn and i’m feeling pretty great from it all

(crow from the future. this is a long yap sesh that i typed for like 30 mins. break bc it’s kinda a lot 😜)

maybe it’s the being able to talk to someone, or maybe it’s the feeling set in my friendships, or maybe finding out how an old friend actually thought about me, but i’m just really happy rn???? idk maybe i can send some form of happiness or positivity to you guys????

no matter where you are, no chaos can remain in chaos. whether you’re in or out of school, everything is always changing. you can take the steps needed to make changes, but when you’re helpless, the world still will change. do you think that this will still be happening in a year? or maybe two years? if you think about how you were then, you can see a change. but if you think about it, the change wasn’t truly “noticeable” you can never know something until it’s over, and you’re out. you can’t see the change as it happens, but you can look back and reflect on it. does any of this make sense? maybe you need to just do drugs that aren’t harmful. today in english we watched vaping videos and all that because it’s red ribbon week. idk if i mentioned it b4, but i was vaping a little bit socially before, but i really don’t want to create a habit like that. i’m happy with my edibles, and that’s that. if you notice an addiction, i think you should quit cold turkey as soon as you can, but if you know yourself, then why not, yknow? that is, for what i consider harmless at least. i don’t think i’ve ever heard of a weed death, unless in the form of an overdose but that goes for anything. i think you should do what makes you happy and stay safe when you do it, yknow? know yourself limits and prioritise your responsibilities over having fun. #besafe #dontkillyourself #dontgetaddictedtodrugs #dontgethealthshiz yeah idk my whole thing w this nothing burger ass post (bc yall know i cannot stop yapping) but im feeling good and hopefully you guys are also feeling good and having fun and being safe in anything that you do. i’m also tired. i also just got recommended my kinda ex? but def ex friend, on tiktok. my first kinda partner but we were friends b4 and it was online and we dated for a week b4 they broke up with me, which i was super happy about bc almost instantly i realised i was NOT into them in that way, and kinda funny so when they wanted to get back together a couple days later, i was a big stupid FART who couldn’t tell people things (in the past, im better now) and so i basically told them that i only am in love with dead people. the deceased. they asked in a very indirect way and i basically just redirected each part to dead people. yeah uh yknow more yap fest my dream last night will go here too. paragraph break!

so my dream last night was not JUST a dream. it was a nightmare and kinda a stupid one but my worst nightmares lately all have to do w this. so my computer had a virus LOL and it was like?? through xbox??? and it was pissibg me off and it opened up like 500 tabs of all minecraft over and over again and my computer is like TWEAKING and i try to open up malwarebytes and instead of my usual thing it gives me this shitty fake error basically saying “this version doesn’t work anymore, sorry! click the link below to download the new version!” and i’m like FUCK my computer has a BAD VIRUS and it’s duplicating all my things and overloading my computer and then i’m like okay. i gotta go to malwarebytes and then the actual download to a REAL version. and im struggling to type it and then when i do it and i click the link, its a fake website, and i go back and find the real one. it redirects me to roblox. and i’m like????????? and i go back to get out of roblox and it gives me a short pop up b4 sending me back to roblox saying “windows error” so im like FUCK. THIS BITCH BLOCKED MALWAREBYTES. and i’m thinking and i decide i need to get a flash drive, download malware bytes on it, and use it from there and then my alarm goes off

also little bonus so i wake up at 6, and i basically just relax and hang out in my bed and wake up til 6:30, but sometimes i fall asleep again which is when this dream took place, but b4 i fell asleep i was watching community and so im my dream i hear it and im like watching it on my phone while im dealing w the virus and im comprehending everything (ive already watched community like 3 times, i KNOW these episodes so its not like i watched a new one in my sleep, i was just hearing it while i slept and it made its way in) and then when i woke up from my “alarm” 6+7 i have that one song from south park playing (from night of the living homeless. i get woken up by cartman singing abt the homeless. and i chose this fate.) and 6:30 it’s just a vvvrrr vvvrrrrrrr so in case i sleep through 1+2 i have 3 to wake me OR to give me a checkpoint for getting ready (i leave ~7:30)

little bit sad bc my wife just called and she’s not gonna b there tomorrow probably BUT i know she’s BEEN needing a break day so im happy that she’s able to +allowed to have a break from school and everything and be able to catch up on schoolwork

anyway’ i should prob go to bed ive been typing and yapping for the past likeeee at LEAST 30 mins just bc i could just type my every through literally forever but that doesn’t mean i SHOULD! uhhh yeah GOODNIGHT GUYS! GOODNIGHT TO THE LIKE. 5 OF YOU. I HEART YOU! THANKS FOR GETTING THIS FAR AND HEARING MY YAPPING!

[blackshadowswriter]

*heavy breathing* OH MY FUCKING GOD HOLY SHIT THAT WAS AMAZING IM-🫨⁉️

Alright I'm going to be so loud about this so page break

First off, bestie, the fact that you not only remembered my bday but also wrote a fic??? For me??? WHEN I TELL TOU I SHRIEKED IM NOT KIDDING HOW ARE YOU SO FUCKING AMAZING AND SWEET AND THOUGHTFUL AND JUST SKDHDJAJKD IM CRYING I LOVE YOU SO MUCH GIRL THANK YOU FOR THIS YOU ARE THE BEST FRIEND ON THIS PLANET 😭🖤🖤🖤

Also pls don't apologize for being late when I'm almost a MONTH late, I swear I saw it when you posted (RAN when I got the notif), but I GOT SICK AGAIN 😭🤧 for like the second time in three weeks, and I was so miserable, and this was totally what I needed to get me excited again. And then FINALS hit me so fucking hard this year (istg they get worse every year), and I have been UNDER SIEGE fr, but today is legit my last day WHICH IS SO FUNNY BC IT'S ALSO TAYLOR'S BIRTHDAY TODAY SO IK I HAD TO COME BACK TO THIS

BUT LIKE GIRL HOW CAN YOU DOUBT THIS MASTERPIECE? I LOVE this so much I’m legit speechless, like you spent two days writing this?? FOR ME???? I am so honored like what 😭 what did I do to deserve you, you are the most amazing human ever ilysm 😍🖤🖤

like not only did you give me the cutest fluffiest fic ever but also the effort you put in with the Taylor references? ILYSM MARRY ME BESTIE 😍 I love how we both keep feeding each others obsessions and this was a fucking feast because let me tell you, I thought this was going to have references from New Years Day which is one of my favorite reputation songs but when I started reading and realized it was FULL of ALL the Taylor references I- 🤭 simultaneously have no words and am screaming inside rn

I legit pulled up a doc to write down all the references as I read and started pyscho-analyzing every single line for them, I'm going so crazy over this omggg

Also I'm so sorry if I miss any references, bestie, I'm scrawling this down and giggling like a mad woman (😉) while blowing my nose and coughing every ten seconds.

Starting off with the “once in a lifetime” it’s legit like you know how reobsessed I’ve been with Speak Now and I fucking love Timeless so much so this opening line had me legit gasping out loud like a dramatic hoe😭

“Those stupid love songs on the radio and the endless romantic stories of your friends’ dating lives, however, fueled your need for the same kind of connection only a few songwriters know how to put into words” TAYLOR KNOWS

"But deep down, you craved to find someone who wouldn’t be afraid of sticking around, someone who would never leave you because life tends to get hard." I'm not sure if this was intentional, but this right here just screams The Archer to me like it's totally giving "who could ever leave me, darling, but who could stay?" and I LOVE IT

The combination of "burning red" and "golden like daylight" PERFECT. Okay for a second I thought "burning red" was from Red and then I remembered the line in Daylight with "burning red" in it, and I'm not sure which one you mean, but I never thought about how those two songs compliment each other so well, BUT IT WORKS, so you're a genius for this one, bestie 🙌

"A love fighting for" 🤝 "tells me this love is worth the fight" AFTERGLOW I LOVE THIS

"So perhaps that is why you chose to lock yourself away and live in delusion instead." OMFG right where you left me is one of my favorite evermore songs everrr, and I love that line "did you hear about the girl who lives in delusion" SO MUCH

"Truth be told, when you’re your own worst enemy and have an inner saboteur...In an attempt to erase all the problems, you became the problem." Anti-hero babyyyy, but also LITERALLY US LMAO

"chasing ghosts that stayed long in the past" Omgg this line reminds me of "chasing shadows in the grocery line" for some reason

And "only came back to haunt the living shit out of you" I'm not sure if this is meant for Haunted, but I love that so so so much, and I'm hallucinating with a maybe fever rn so I kinda think it is

"Blood rushed to his cheeks" SO SCARLET IT WAS MAROON

"you knew that you’d somehow been enchanted to meet him" this is totally feeding my reobsession with Speak Now and I LOVE YOU FOR THAT BESTIE.

"It is possible that the song playing over the speakers in the café right before you bumped him played a part in how you perceived the interaction. You’ve never been one to believe in coincidences. Nothing is ever accidental, and neither was your meeting. It couldn’t have been." MASTERMINDDDDD I LOVE THAT SONG SMM

"Summer that year was cruel" 😎😎

"you didn’t have it in you to put a label on whatever delicate thing was starting to build" 👉 we can't make any promises now, can we, babe 😭😭

"Love is a fragile thing" IT COULD BURN OUT (no because I've always heard "thing" in the song until I checked the lyrics of I Know Places and realized it's "flame" and it blew my mind)

"He let out a grunt. Your name passed his lips. He sounded so weak" maybe I should go to bed bc I'm a little delirious, but I started giggling, "your name on my lips, tongue-tied, free rent living on my mind" and it totally doesn't fit the vibe, but this just reminds me of it 😂

When he woke up to you hovering over him, he groaned. “I’m sorry,” was all he said. “I’d understand if–” This part totally made me laugh because poor Matty, my baby just woke up from passing out and he's still apologizing, bless his heart omg 😭

"coffees over empty takeout containers" this is making me want to go back to your Is It Over Now fic and reread because girl, I'm still not over it 😍

"kissing in the rain" The Way I Loved You is one of my favorite Fearless songs omg, I'm so happy it made it into the fic

"He is the best thing that has ever happened to you." You are the best thing that's ever been mine 😭 bro I'm so in love with how in love we are with Matt, like HE DESERVES THIS LOVE

"You saw something in him from the moment you met that no one can ever take away" you're on your own kid 🥺

"taste of heaven" UNTOUCHABLEEEE 🖤

"You are sunshine, even on your worst days, and he’s midnight rain. But you love the rain. You love him." UGH THIS LINE IS EVERYTHING. Not just the Midnight Rain reference, but I love how in love these two are omg. ALSO this might be me analyzing too deeply, but like I love how you took the original lyrics where it's like "midnight rain" and "sunshine," that they're opposites and that's why they didn't work, but HERE, the rain and sunshine are them complementing each other so well and being so sickeningly sweetly in love 😭

"He took your hand and asked you to dance" Fearlesss and Matt being so sweet, I can't with him 🥰

"You want more of those nights" Ahhh New New's Day!!! I WANT YOUR MIDNIGHTSS 😍

"You want him and all the strings attached to him" THIS IS MAKING ME THINK OF INVISIBLE STRING, I LOVE THAT SOMG SMM

"You want to wear his initial on a chain around your neck, in Braille...“I know I don’t own you,” he said to you, “but I love you. And I know you. I want you to carry me close to your heart the same way I’ll always carry you close to mine.” LOSING MY MIND AT THIS, MY FAVORITE LINE FROM CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT, "not because he owns me but because he really knows me" 😍 I am OBSESSED with this line, and with Matt is so perfect omg 🥺🖤

"All the girls he loved before don’t matter because he’s got you now" Another one of the songs I'm so obsessed with, like All of The Girls YOU LOVED BEFORE is one of my favorite songs ever and it fits so well with Matt, i love this sm

"All those memories replay in sudden flashing sequences" ooo this reminds me so much of Love Story and I feel like it goes perfectly with reader and Matt like they are so fluffy, Love Story just makes such perfect sense for them bc it's so sweet omg

"Matt Murdock is kneeling on the floor before you, the glitter, confetti, and sticky champagne" MORE NEW YEAR'S DAY REFERENCES OMG, I WAS WAITING FOR THIS 🙌 also CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS AHH 😍 wait this is so perfect bc New Year's Day and champagne problems have such similar beginnings, so mashing them together is PERFECT. Idk if I'm right, but the confetti is giving Long Live "confetti falls to the ground" but maybe I'm just hallucinating (I just finished finals, and I'm like half dead)

"You would marry him with paper rings, that much is true." I LIKE SHINY THINGS BUT I'D MARRY YOU WITH PAPER RINGS, but reader is so real for this, I would totally marry Matt NO RING AT ALL JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE MATTY PLS

"He sees right through you. You see right through him" WAIT I might be overanalyzing again (the advanced comp this year really did that to me) but this just feels SO PERFECT to me, with the reference to The Archer bc at the beginning it was that line like "who could ever leave me but who could stay" and now we've come a full circle to the "do you see right through me" and YES, them seeing through each other in the best way and it's just 🤧i'm way too emotion rn but this is so cute im gonna cry

"Even in your worst times, you were there for each other" AHHH I LOVE THE REFERENCE TO DRESS I LOVE THAT SONG WITH ALL MY HEART

"You don’t need to tell him that you would do it a million times over because he knows" OMFG IS THIS FROM ILLICIT AFFAIRS (and a little from I Think He Knows?), MY FAVORITE FOLKLORE SONG ILYSM BESTIE

"And he will never be just the stranger that you bumped into" please dont ever become a stranger whose laugh I would recognize anywhere 🥺🥺 AND THEY WON'T BE, I LOVE THIS SM

"Maybe that was your plan all along. Maybe you are the mastermind he knows that you are. None of it was accidental." AHHH MORE MASTERMIND REFERENCESSS YESSS

"And now, Matt Murdock is yours. Forever and always." PULLING MY HAIR OUT, this was so fucking sweet 😭😭

Bestie, TYSM FOR THIS. I could never have expected this tooth-rottingly fluffy masterpiece, and the TAYLOR REFERENCES, I might be going crazy rn, but the effort you put in to include all of them and for me??? Like, how tf do I have such an amazing, talented best friend??? Thank you so much for writing this for me, this is seriously one of my favorite of your Matt fics now and that's saying something bc I love ALL OF THEM. THANK YOU BESTIE, YOU'RE THE BEST BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH 😭🥺🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

(also I know im so late to Taylor’s birthday BUT in my defense it’s still 11 pm here so TECHNICALLY I MADE IT)

New Year's Day | Matt Murdock x Reader

Masterlist

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader

Summary: You recount your history with Matt and the highs and the lows of your relationship.

Warnings: Fluff, descriptive writing & lack of dialogue, mentions of blood, but this is mostly very tame

Word count: 2.5k

A/n: This One-Shot is dedicated to my bestie, @blackshadowswriter. I'm a bit late, and I'm sorry for that. It took me a bit to finish. I just want to tell you how much I love and appreciate you. I also know you love Taylor, so I thought "why not write a fic and use as many song references as possible? She's going to LOVE that!" You're my favorite person in the world and you deserve this. I love you. I'm all out of words because I'm anxious as hell about showing you this. It took me two days to finish. I wanted it to be as good as I could make it. I'm still not 100% sure, but I never am when it comes to giving gifts. I hope you like it <3 (This is also why I'm not tagging anyone else because this is a gift for my best friend and I intended it as such)

From the moment you bumped into him on the corner street of your favorite café, you knew that he was the kind of chance that would only come around once in a lifetime.

It wasn’t like you, at least not back then, to buy a stranger a coffee. And it was even less like you to give him your number afterward.

You had never been big on dating at that point in your life. You used to take things exactly the way they came to you, and dating never really seemed to fit into that narrative.

You preferred to lose yourself in your own world, a world where no one could touch or hurt you the way you’ve been hurt so many times in the past by people who claimed to care about you—people who claimed to love you, and in the process, you lost sight of the fact that there are still a handful of good people out there.

No one can blame you for thinking like that though. Your heart has been broken one too many times, and not just by broken relationships. 

Deep down, you craved to find someone capable of understanding all of you, not just the pretty parts. You almost felt pathetic for pretending you didn’t need it and still thinking that way.

But deep down, you craved to find someone who wouldn’t be afraid of sticking around, someone who would never leave you because life tends to get hard.

It seemed nearly impossible to find a person like that without breaking your own heart, so you decided to retreat into your shell. Better to keep your heart safe and protected than put yourself out there and be broken all over again, right?

Those stupid love songs on the radio and the endless romantic stories of your friends’ dating lives, however, fueled your need for the same kind of connection only a few songwriters know how to put into words.

You wanted to fall in love, find the right person, and heal. You wanted to figure out why love wasn’t like the burning red of sex and passion but golden, like daylight. A love living for. A love fighting for.

You felt so stupid, secretly pining for an innocent childhood dream that eventually got crushed after years of heartbreak, but that is what happens when someone becomes chronically lonely. You turned to daydreaming because at least in your head, your life could be perfect. Not just good, not just livable, but filled with love and happiness.

Truth be told, when you’re your own worst enemy and have an inner saboteur set out to destroy everything that could be remotely good for you because you truly believe you don’t deserve it, it’s hard to allow yourself to be open. So perhaps that is why you chose to lock yourself away and live in delusion instead. Not facing reality became standard procedure in your way of life.

You tried blaming it on your past, your broken relationships, and disappointments, and while that played a big part in your trauma, you also slowly started to realize that you might have been hurting yourself so you wouldn’t have to open up ever again.

In an attempt to erase all the problems, you became the problem. You became your worst enemy, someone chasing ghosts that stayed long in the past and only came back to haunt the living shit out of you. But that’s a survivable condition. 

You tried therapy, you tried turning your life around and starting anew, and while that helped you find a job you love, find a nice group of friends, and make peace with what’s been broken, nothing else seemed to change. 

You had barely started putting yourself back together again when you bumped into him. You were late for a meeting, so your focus was on your phone instead of the street before you.

It was your fault. He was just trying to make his way over the sidewalk, his cane tapping in a steady rhythm to make his way forward, and you stepped right in the middle of it. 

You remember him grabbing your arm, catching you before you could fall. He wasn’t even irritated. When you looked up in shame, seeing the red glasses and the came, you begged for the floor to open up and swallow you whole. 

“I’m so sorry,” you said. “I wasn’t looking. Are you okay?”

But before you could go on a rant about your stupidity, he cut you off, and in the silkiest voice possible, he said, “I’m fine. Don’t worry about it. Are you?” 

“What?”

“Are you okay? You seem in a bit of a rush. Don’t want you to accidentally bump into a car next.” He chuckled, adjusting his glasses. Blood rushed to his cheeks. “That was a bad joke, sorry.”

You just about melted. “It’s okay,” you found yourself chuckling. “And so am I. I was too focused on my phone. That was my fault.”

“Don’t blame yourself. It happens,” he said. He was so calm about it, unlike other New Yorkers you’ve met before.

Maybe the fact that you found him extraordinarily attractive and easy to be around compelled you to ask if you could buy him a cup of coffee to make up for bumping into him, completely abandoning your plans to make it to your work meeting five minutes late.

He introduced himself as Matthew. A lawyer. Not one of those rich defense attorneys who simply do it for the money. No, he does it to help people, and you fell for him right then and there. 

Maybe it was fate, maybe it was destiny, or maybe it was just dumb luck, but that day, when you got home after work, his number in your phone and a stupidly giddy smile on your flushed face, you knew that you’d somehow been enchanted to meet him. 

You never believed in love at first sight until you bumped into Matt Murdock, but the second you did, your life flipped upside down and changed in ways you could have never predicted. 

It is possible that the song playing over the speakers in the café right before you bumped him played a part in how you perceived the interaction. You’ve never been one to believe in coincidences. Nothing is ever accidental, and neither was your meeting. It couldn’t have been. 

You found each other when you needed someone, anyone, both of you, and it stuck. Thankfully, it did. 

Summer that year was cruel with New York drowning in an excruciating heatwave. You’d been meeting up with Matt for a couple of weeks, but you didn’t have it in you to put a label on whatever delicate thing was starting to build between the two of you. You didn’t want to wrap your hand around it and accidentally shatter something you could see growing into something more in the future. 

He was unlike anyone you’d met before, and he treated you in a way that made you believe, finally, that you are worthy of love. Not just giving but receiving because Matt himself struggled to see his worth after years of being disappointed and being there for everyone but himself. 

Love is a fragile thing though, and you have never been quite good with fragile things.

After a night of drinking away your sorrows at a nearby bar, you made your way to his apartment. You took a cab, too wasted to find your way there by yourself. You remember that you were crying; you were miserable and loathing yourself for several reasons that didn’t even make sense to you then.

When you arrived there, you knocked on his door. You didn’t get an answer. Just as you started to turn around and make your way back outside, you could hear a thud from the other side of the door. Panic settled in. You didn’t even hesitate before you opened the door, which was surprisingly unlocked, and made your way into the dark interior of his apartment. 

Finding your blind, catholic not-boyfriend in a pool of his own blood, wearing a leather-clad suit with the horns of the devil had not been on your to-do list until that night. Reality hit you just as fast and knocked sobriety back into your senses as the adrenaline started to take over. 

He let out a grunt. Your name passed his lips. He sounded so weak, so fragile, and you just stood there, your heart pumping too much blood for your body to handle. 

“What the fuck?!” you said. You didn’t yell, you didn’t snap, you simply didn’t know how to process this information. 

You were well aware of the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen parading outside at night, beating up criminals and giving them a good fright—Matt did not fit the picture you had of the guy until you saw him lying there, obviously injured. 

“It’s not what it looks like,” he said hoarsely. He tried to roll over, but the pain turned out to be too severe. 

Needless to say, he passed out on you without a proper explanation, and you somehow had to use what little you could remember from first-aid to help this bleeding mess of a man. You feared that you would lose him that night, and that was when you realized that, on top of falling for him, you didn’t care who he was, you only needed him to live.

When he woke up to you hovering over him, he groaned. “I’m sorry,” was all he said. “I’d understand if–”

“Don’t talk,” you cut him off with a finger on his lips. You wouldn’t let him push you away. Not after everything you’d been through.

He tried to sit up. “I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“It’s not exactly something you lead with on a first date. I get it. What I don’t get…”

“I didn’t lie,” it was his turn to cut you off. You remember looking up at him, and you heard him out. You had to. In your mind, there is an explanation for everything, and you were once again proven right at that moment.

He bared his life story to you, how he survived through tragedies no human should ever have to face. How he turned blind, how his senses heightened, and how he lost the one person he could always count on. When his father died, something changed in Matt. He tried to go straight, to do his father proud, but he couldn’t ignore this desperate need for justice forever. He felt cursed. So, he became someone who could make a difference, and not just as a lawyer.

He expected you to walk out, but you didn’t. You saw him for who he was, and you accepted him.

“I think I’m falling for you, and it scares the hell out of me,” you blurted out that night.

He stared at you, his unfocused eyes bewildered, his lips moving soundlessly as he tried to find an answer.

Just when you thought he would break your heart after putting your trust in him, he let out a shaky sigh and he kissed you.

He wasn’t ready to say it back just yet, but he spoke to you through actions that made you feel confident in what you were growing again.

You somehow already knew back then that Matt Murdock would be the man you one day would marry and spend the rest of your life with. 

The truth is, you two have been through a lot throughout your relationship. It hasn’t always been smooth sailing, but you would be lying if you said that it wasn’t worth it. 

From the moment you met him to the countless dates, sharing coffees over empty takeout containers, kissing in the rain, Daredevil, fighting over the beautiful women in his life that almost broke you, and fighting over his desperate need to push those away who only want what is good for him because he is own worst saboteur.

It all led you down a journey that turned out to be harder than expected and not at all the love story you envisioned, but it still turned out to be the best thing that has ever happened to you. He is the best thing that has ever happened to you. 

You used to run away from happiness out of fear of getting hurt, and Matt did the same. He feared to admit it, but then he met you and he finally realized that running was of no use because you were more than ready to stick around through everything. Through every disaster and heartache—through every broken bone, you stuck around.

You saw something in him from the moment you met that no one can ever take away. You got a taste of heaven from the devil himself, and even though he was darker than the sunshine you wished for in your life, you managed to find a way to bring some light into his life. 

You are sunshine, even on your worst days, and he’s midnight rain. But you love the rain. You love him. 

Your first kiss happened in the rain. He took your hand and asked you to dance, and you did. You danced to the sound of the raindrops pattering against the asphalt beneath your feet, and it was the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen—Matt engulfed in the soft moonlight, his hand in yours, and a big smile on his irresistible lips. 

You want more of those nights. Even the nights you’ve had to patch him up or hold him as he broke down from all the weight he often enough carries on his shoulders, you want more of those. You want all of them.

You want him and all the strings attached to him, no matter how painful because ever since he can remember, people have walked out on Matt and hurt him in ways you can only fathom. You don’t want to be that person. 

He opened up to you. He decided to be vulnerable. He stood with you through everything and fought for you when you thought you two wouldn’t last.

He gave you his best smile and his tears, and he laughed with you every night that you waited up for him to come home safely. He quickly became the moonlight to your sun—it is a different kind of light, but it is a light that sustains you nonetheless. 

You want all of his laughter and never miss it again. You want his smiles. You want his tears. You want to spend every waking second with him. You want to miss him and welcome him back home after an agonizingly long night of worrying. You want to cheer him up in court and be his lucky charm. You want to wear his initial on a chain around your neck, in Braille, because he got it for you on your birthday. 

“I know I don’t own you,” he said to you, “but I love you. And I know you. I want you to carry me close to your heart the same way I’ll always carry you close to mine.”

And his, you are. You’re no one else’s but his, and even if that sounds a bit territorial, you don’t care. You want all of it and more because it’s Matt you’re talking about, no one else. Not a stranger but the man you love so desperately it hurts sometimes.

All the girls he loved before don’t matter because he’s got you now. You forgave him more times than he probably deserved. You held on when he barely had any strength left. In return, he has shown the same kind of devotion to you time and time again. How can you ever say no to any of that when you are so in love? 

All those memories replay in sudden flashing sequences right in front of your inner eye. You love him more than anyone has ever loved him. You pulled him out of a very dark hole. You saved his life. And he saved yours. 

As he’s kneeling in front of you now, your hand in his and clutching the small, velvety box in his other, your life passes by before your eyes. Your life alone and your life together. You recount every memory in a millisecond, too shocked to even comprehend what is happening. But it is happening. 

Matt Murdock is kneeling on the floor before you, the glitter, confetti, and sticky champagne someone spilled earlier most likely leaving a stain on his good dress pants, but he remains unwavering in his decision to open that little box and show you what he’s been hiding for a while. 

It’s a diamond ring, something he probably took months to save up for. It’s small yet elegant, and it’s staring right at you. He’s taken his glasses off to try and do the same. You would marry him with paper rings, that much is true. 

Matt says your name oh-so-softly. “Will you marry me?” Four words that stop your heart and restart it at the same time. 

He sees right through you. You see right through him. Even in your worst times, you were there for each other, and now he’s asking you to spend the rest of your life with him. Together. To give him all of your days and nights and he will give you all of his in return. He is asking you the question you’ve been wondering if he would ever ask it, and he did. 

The fireworks go off in the distance, in your stomach, everywhere. The new year has rounded the corner. People are cheering and celebrating around you, but you don’t pay attention to them. 

The clock strikes midnight and with the softest smile, you say, “Yes.” You don’t need to tell him that you would do it a million times over because he knows. He knows your heartbeat, and he knows that you would never lie to him. 

He doesn’t waste time to pull you into his arms and kiss you softly, passionately, as if both of your lives depend on it. 

It’s a bit cliché, to get proposed to on New Year’s Eve. To start the new year with the man you love and a ring on your finger. But that only means that you will still be together on New Year’s Day, and all the days after that. 

Matt chose you. You chose Matt. You chose a life together that is as unpredictable as they come, but at least you have each other to hold onto. 

And he will never be just the stranger that you bumped into in front of your favorite corner café ever again. You have him now. Maybe that was your plan all along. Maybe you are the mastermind he knows that you are. None of it was accidental. 

And now, Matt Murdock is yours. Forever and always. 

[raspberryspace]

I hope you can accept who I am. I forever will always accept you as you are.

I’m tired of trying to string together some semblance of my current emotions only to be met with nothing. I’m tired of fighting myself. I’m tired of crying in my car. I can only claw at the hope that you never felt like I intentionally did this. I only ever wanted to reciprocate the feelings I had so deep within from one soul to another. You opened and grew my world as I know it. you irreplaceably shaped the goals and values I carry on today. I wanted and will always want to repay that. To reciprocate that pure partnership. Yet I own up and know just how fucking bad my naivety and unawareness was. I never wanted that. I only ever wanted the connection. I was so lonely and latched on to anything. I’m so sorry it had to be you. Im so sorry. I just want that love back it was never out of obligation. Ever. I was going through so much. I have cried over it too much to not second guess and fight this hard for it. I want it back so fucking badly. And I know it’s not the memories pushing this, it’s what created them. I know so many external factors plagued you. I know you made that decision. I just want to make sure it was truly the right one. But that’s just what I want. If I’m selfish then so be it but I want that back for the both of us. That feeling of finding that perfect puzzle piece that fits. My gut wrenches away at me daily- desperately trying to get me to not let go. To not give up. I want to work on this. I, I, I. I, am so fucking stupid. You’ve shown me through actions that you don’t want to talk. I can’t change any of that. I can only type these vague posts into the ether praying that you read them. I’m tired. I never wanted to do you wrong. I can’t ever ask for your forgiveness. I just want to ask if we can try to heal this. My chest aches for you too. I miss you profoundly. You paint the stars overhead every night. I just want to support you and serve you water when you’re thirsty late at night. I want to drive you around while you knit. Wah. I need to be present and in the moment for myself. I need to pour myself a glass of water. I’m grateful to have myself to do that. I’m glad I hold onto the values I have. It’s okay to give too much.

I can’t justify anything I just wish you would hear me.

There isn’t anything in this life worth fighting more over than this. I can’t shake this feeling that’s so rooted within me. I cant let this fall to the wayside.

It wasn’t your fault, I know why you had to do it. Can we start again?

God it feels like it just happened two days ago

Hate being bombarded with all these narratives on how to act or what to do, every single relationship is such a unique set of circumstances. Not everything is just block and ghost. No wonder people find it so difficult these days. No one fights for perfection, you adopt each others flaws and perfect them.

The people that you’re meant to have in your life won’t need persuading or convincing.

I’m ignorant to the fact that if you wanted to text me you would. But I want to text

You because I miss you. But you don’t. You don’t miss me. You don’t express that at least.

Music that makes you dance a little bit in your seat on a long drive is something to smile at.

My heart will always skip a beat for you, missing you next to us as we grow and discover this world. You’ll always be in my heart. At every corner of the globe. I won’t sit back and wait- there are places I want to see before I die. It hurts me like no other that I have to go without you, but rest assured I’m taking pictures for you. Taking pictures of you there. Taking pictures.

I wish I could go back and do so many things over again. I wish I wish I wish I wish.

What made you believe it wasn’t truly genuine, it wasn’t truly from the depths of my heart. What made it selfish to me? I think that’s what hurts the most. That and we were just starting. We just closed the distance and we’re going to begin the greatest journey of our life. Together. Just gone. Gone with no hesitation. A pro and con list. That also will forever stay with me.

Who knew spoiling myself with trips and cool clothes would make me sort of happy. Not a fulfilling as treating someone else, I don’t think my personality allows that to ever be the case unfortunately. I do love women’s wear so much though, I want to dress someone up.

I became secure and confident within our space, left to expose the insecurities and issues. Now I feel so lost.

You’ve always had to be patient when dealing with my emotions - I hope you’ve noticed my change in dealing with them. I’m a bit faster now, I’m standing up for the little guy in me more that’s for sure. I wish I could tell you all that I’ve been reflecting on. I know you probably don’t want to hear it.

I hope you’ll remember me on a sad day when you really need it. I hate that you’re alone. I hate that you’re feeling so lonely. I wished you a community I wish that you had that group there for you. I tried to hard to make sure I never got in the way of you making and finding that group, I was so sad the night you went out on Halloween. You never invited me you never asked. I had to close down the part that wanted to ask you to consider me. Jealousy and my own value came up and overwhelmed me. I just wanted you to be happy with your friends. I tried to front it out. I know that was a mistake on my end - I should have expressed what I was feeling. But I tired to show it when I dropped it all to be there for the pick up. I tried to show it with how accommodating I was. I hate that I did that to myself. I’m sorry.

Went hiking, wish you were here. I fell while walking barefoot in a stream before the waterfall, bruised my hip - reminds me of falling off my skateboard again. Kinda made me smile again. Only 11 miles, small change compared to the walking done in Japan… I’m jumping and ready to keep doing more but my friends are tired kinda sucks.

I miss you. I wish I could hold you.

[weirdmorefics]

the same person who asked this

Hi there. Can I request a Anthony Bridgeton x ftm reader slightly set in modern era where they have twins and Anthony's family loves the reader and is okay with there relationship. I just want fluff with a (little too big of a) dash of angst. Something domestic where they go on a vacation and them all running around the garden and at the end of the night after the twins go to sleep y/n and Anthony spend time alone just talking, cuddling and swaying to music while looking in each other's eyes...im just a simp for fluff and angst.

Sorry if this is too specific or non-specific and if you don't feel like writing it then it's cool. Thank you ❤️

Just Shut Up and Kiss Me

FTM Reader

Pronouns- He/Him

Word Count- 523

Summary- After a long day at the ocean with the twins, you and Anthony finally get some quality time together.

A/N- MODERN TIME PERIOD! It's not exactly like the request I hope you still like it :)

Sorry for the lateness I've said in another post but it is due to the Flu and I have many chronic illnesses so it took me a while to get back to baseline.

The twins were more rambunctious than they were at the estate which I did not even know was possible. I guess vacations bring out the energy in all of us. We spent the day together at the ocean and they could not contain their excitement.

To be honest, though any public body of water raises my anxiety. Even after top surgery, I feel like I should be wearing a shirt but Anthony eases my nerves. He has been with me through it all even if he was a bit uneducated about the subject at first. Eloise helped him research everything about top surgery and we played board games all throughout my recovery. Anthony acts as quite the buffer as well, his handsomeness certainly distracts from me. Anthony still encourages me to feel good in my skin with the salacious comments he whispers in my ear. Even with his encouragement, it is still very tiring to fight those feelings all day.

I am grateful that the kids poured all their energy into creating intricate sand castles and destroying them. By the time we got to the summer home, the kids were so exhausted they passed out the minute their head hit their pillows. I felt exhausted myself from the sun, the crazy twins, and many emotions of the day. After tucking the children in I planned on going to sleep but Anthony had other ideas.

"Come on darling I have something to show you," Anthony says dragging me away from the twin's room practically giving me no choice.

"Anthony what has you in such a tizzy," I laugh at his usual antics.

"I just want to show you something as mesmerizing as your eyes," He says with a goofy grin.

I blush and try to hide my face, "Stop you're going to make me gag."

"You know you love my romantic words," he laughs deeply.

I roll my eyes, "Don't get too full of yourself."

"You already know I am full of myself that's why you married me handsome." He smirks

"Yeah, sure that's why," I laugh.

"Enough of denying how perfect my personality is look up," he says gesturing to the sky.

I go to make some stupid witty remark when I look to the sky.

"There are so many stars here you never see this many in London!" I gasp in awe.

"I have always wanted to take you here ever since I met you Y/N. The moment I saw your eyes they always sparkle when you are talking about something you are passionate about just like these stars."

I feel my whole face start to turn red which in turn makes my face even redder because now I am embarrassed about being embarrassed what a vicious cycle. I try to turn away to sass Anthony about being too gooey again but he pulls my face towards his.

"Don't you ever hide your feelings my love because you make every emotion a work of art." He says suavely making me want to smack him.

I roll my eyes, "Just shut up and kiss me."

"That I can do," he smirks wickedly.

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