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#IM SORRY I WROTE A NOVEL IN RESPONSE TO YOUR ASK.
by-kilian · 1 year
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These past two chapter were absolutely, gut-wrenching.. you see i went through the 5 stages of greif during every single scene, KW, i sincerely, madly and deeply would like to read an actual novel of yours, you are and absolute gem, one im very glad to know albeit being hidden.. it’s like you’re my little secret.
They way you describe killian and levi, the way you describe everything, make me feel as if im a part of them, i felt the harsh twist of switchblade, i felt the gunshot, i felt sofias sadness, i felt levi’s beating love for kilian, and i as much as i felt greif, i felt it’s warmth and it’s love.. I’m sorry if I’m not making any sense but your words made me absolutely speechless till the point idek what to say..
Every scene felt like a master scene and i really applause you for the way your wrote these chapters, it’s.. fascinating and mesmerizing really, the way you bend words under your mercy like some-kind of an alluring witch your writing is immaculate
When you blinked your eyes open, the first person you saw was Levi. His smile was bright and warm. It made you feel weightless. It made you feel loved. You smiled back, albeit weakly. Levi squeezed your hand gently, still smiling. “Welcome back, sweetheart,” he whispered.  
CMON KW WTF IS THAT AND WHY IS MY HEART SHATTERED ON THE GROUND TO SHREDS.
Spoiler alert because i need to scream:
Okay now let’s first talk about mathias this stinky grey hairy ass stalkish asshole.. i want him dead like absolutely dead no breathing again for him😞 KILIAN MY SLEEPING BEAUTY RISE FROM DEATH AND SLIT HIS THROAT MY BABY ILL HAVE UR BACK
Okay i can’t not mention this jerk and not talk about the amazing.. like absolutely jaw dropping conversation he had with our fallen angel..
“We were bound to meet, and if you didn’t stop, I’m quite sure we would have,”
“What is that expression? ‘Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t?’ Well. I knew it was only a matter of time before you returned to the work you know best.”
Well i sure as hell didn’t expect that tbh.. i think i can’t describe what I’m feeling from how much I’ve felt during these few hours😭😭 HELP KW WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
Tell me something,” he said, slipping a hand in his pants pocket and sniffling. “Do you ever miss it? You must.”Your fingers ticked along your sides in response and Mathias grinned, like a wolf baring its teeth. “You do,” he said. “Don’t look so enraged at the thought. A devil cannot change no matter how hard they try. It doesn’t work that way. Still,” he said contemplatively, rubbing his thumb against his index finger and studying his hands. “I’m so pleased that in your attempt to change, it merely led you back to me,” he said, blinking fondly at you. You remained unfazed yet quiet, calculating every move possible in the brief moment of silence Mathias offered to you. He tilted his head at you and smiled, empty yet again. “From one devil to another, I really am glad to have finally met you, Kilian.” 
THIS IS ICONIC IN EVERY LANGUAGE KNOWN TO MAN KIND—
Now excuse me i really need to have some sleep to function properly because i binged the 2 chapters and i can’t fathom what I’m saying or even type basic English anymore so that’s part one😭
Your lovely “💙“ anon
Omg, 💙 anon! It is SO lovely to hear from you my darling 😭❤️. I can't even begin to thank you for your thoughtfully detailed asks because you have sincerely made my days, both yesterday and today. I'll answer everything under a cut but seriously, thank you so much for this. I cherish you! 🥹
TRUTHFULLY, I MYSELF went through the 5 stages of grief writing this. LMAO! It was a deeply emotional process, but tbh, it is every time I write in some small way. I am so glad to be considered a gem to you. Really. ❤️ It's also honestly nice to be 'hidden', lol. I have never loved attention but despite that, I have a really solid, loyal following of readers and I love you all so much for sticking with me, whether you've been here since the beginning or just now made it. I love my little corner of solitude over here and I appreciate all of you for helping contribute to that.
And thank you for such a lovely compliment! I try so hard to tap into character emotions so if you can feel what they're feeling, you are fully immersed in the story which is what I always hope to achieve. I also put a lot of thought into each scene, choosing what to say and what not to say, so to be acknowledged for that means the world. Thank you so much for saying that. Also I will so take the title of a witch any day LOL! <3
Also ikr. Levi is such a sweet, sensitive person at his core that to see it spill out without hesitation now is really one of the purest things you could witness.
As for MATHIAS, writing that scene between him and Kilian was honestly like a fever dream. My hands were moving faster than my mind. I always knew from crafting his character who he was at his core, but to be able to reveal it to all of you made it all the more exciting. Like it had always been lurking underneath, under everything he did, and now you finally got to see him for what he was. If he ever alarmed you, you finally knew why. If he ever made you feel uneasy, now you could see why. It was such a pleasure to write that scene between the two of them!
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU, my lovely 💙 anon for taking time out of your day to message me something so sweet. I will answer your other ask later tonight, but please know how much I treasure you! :3
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doodlebloo · 3 years
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ur take on whether or not u can trust someone ab not shipping real folks is based as always dude. one way i try to avoid real bitch shippers is blocking anyone who makes a headcanon or sum that seems even the slightest bit out of character and more like the cc's. what r they gonna do? dm you? cry? you gonna cry? oh also by blocking anyone who makes dnf or karlnap truthing posts.
real shit being a part of the cbeeduo side of tumblr has been stressful as fuck n its why ive distanced myself a bit bc im fucking tired of seeing shit in the tags thats just fucking disrespectful and gross. major respect for being a cbeeduo main in this day in age o7
(Do not reblog this ask)
You'd think in a fandom that has a shitty reputation based on a few weird people making everyone look bad you'd see less of people thinking a whole community is weird just because a few weird people are making them look bad.
And like once a community (like beeduo enjoyers) gets a bad reputation from a few weird people it makes everything look that much worse. Like for example if a community not notorious for having to deal with truthers posted something like "Omg x streamer said hanging out with y streamer was the hilight of their week!" It would be fine, but if a beeduo main posted it everyone would be suspicious. Which is kind of deserved! Because for some reason beeduo specifically attract irl shippers like a moth to a flame!
And it's really uncomfortable because as much as you can SAY over and over that you're not an irl shipper, there's no way to prove it. You can SAY that you don't have an alternate Tumblr acct for truthing under a different name, but even if you let someone comb through all your files you still may be able to hide it! It's entirely based on the honors system, and I don't know about any of you but I wouldn't accuse someone of truthing without genuine, solid PROOF that they're doing something fucked up.
It's really difficult because like the line between character and cc is THERE. It is. Tubbo is not a half goat ex president with burn scars nukes and a son. Like there is a line. But with this fandom it's really hard to make like AUs and such unless it's like still a fantasy setting like medieval setting or space or something. Bc if you're like "High school au!" Then like ok... How is your version of c!Tubbo who has never fought in wars wasn't found in a box has no scars doesn't have a son etc really THAT much different from just normal Tubbo? It's very complicated and hard to do in a way that's not weird
It's just a slippery slope. Which is why I AGREE with Ranboo's phrasing! He kind of HAS to be that vague, because the more vague he is the more leeway it gives him later to call out anything specific he thinks is gross. I get that and also He Especially has every right to be wary of IRL shippers and truthers, considering his chat's recent obsession with "jokingly" calling him gay/saying he came out. (Which, by the way, INCREDIBLY hypocritical to make gay jokes abt a streamer and then accuse other people of irl shipping/truthing but I digress.)
Also I don't even know that I'd consider myself that much of a CBeeduo main! I literally have just written a handful of fics about them (2/3 of my bigger ones are mostly c! benchtrio) but for some reason these two characters have the most like complicated and vague set of boundaries for writing them literally ever. Like I don't want to write anything that makes anyone uncomfortable at all, but I also don't want to say that everything cBeeduo has ever done in canon is platonic, bc I don't know what Ranboo and Tubbo's intentions were. And as time goes on it only seems to get more and more complicated and people seem a lot less willing to tolerate other interpretations (ppl who see them as /r being called truthers, ppl who see them as /p being told they're wrong or getting made fun of).
The way I see it there are only two correct ways to handle things like this: either BLOCK the person who made the content just like you said, or try and TALK to them - y'know, like in a civil way? Tell them what part of their thing you think might be breaking boundaries, if they agree they'll change it and if they don't you can block each other? No callouts no death threats no nothing? That sure would be nice huh.
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pleasereadmeok · 3 years
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This ‘Wonderland’ Interview to promote A Single Man is a gem.  Matthew Goode is a bit of a handful and swears his way through this interview with his mate Nic Hoult.  It’s very funny.  It’s often quoted (including his description of Colin Firth’s kissing technique!) but it’s difficult to find a clean scan of the whole interview.  This scan (from Natalie/ Fairchilds on ohnotheydidnt) isn’t very clear to read so I did a transcript several years ago - here:-
Wonderland Interview
Based on the 1964 novel by Christopher Isherwood, A Single Man marks the screenwriting and directing debut of fashion icon, Tom Ford.  Having debuted earlier this year at the Venice Film Festival to a standing ovation, the film has continued to impress audiences during screening at the Toronto and London Film Festivals.
Joining lead actor, Colin Firth, on screen are fellow Brits Matthew Goode and Nicholas Hoult who discuss the film, Tom Ford and being British in LA.
ON A SINGLE MAN
Nicholas Hoult: The only time I saw Matthew was when we were getting our spray tans.
Matthew Goode: Which were more regular than we were expecting.  I got on a plane with Colin [Firth] and then literally the moment we arrived, got in the car together, went to the hotel and suddenly – it’s like ten thirty at night – we have to go to Colin’s room where we’re having our spray tans .  Colin Firth is in his pants, I’m in my pants and it stays that way for an hour whilst we wait for this stuff to set.  He’s fucking great.  I love Colin.
We [Nic’ and he] never had a scene together but we were there the whole time.  I was only really fitting in around these guys.  Nic had a damn sight more to do than I did.
NH: No I just did more.
MG: [Laughs] It was a really fun shoot. I mean, maybe I’m looking back with rose tinted spectacles, but …
NH: It was a good fun shoot. Everyone enjoyed it.  I remember the night in Venice after seeing it in front of all those people and just lying in bed thinking ‘that’s something I’m proud of’.
MG: It’s seriously impressive. You watch it and you care and, it doesn’t happen to me a lot, but I watched it and thought ‘I’m in something that doesn’t stink!’.  I’m proud of that.
NH:  That’s a nice feeling when you’ve done something and you can say ‘yeah, proud of that’.
MG:  Fucking hell – sorry to interrupt – but I was reading a magazine or a paper or something the other day and it said “A Single Man obviously being screened and whenever Nic Hoult was on screen there were gasps over his beauty” [laughs]. And I was thinking, fucking Hoult is going to LA and get so laid! [Laughs]. He is going to be turning bush away left right and centre!
NH:  It’s all down to the fake tan again.  That’s where the performance stems for me.
MG:  That is a review!
NH:  Nothing about the acting, right?
MG:  They didn’t review the film.  It just said “I saw it.  I’m going to be reviewing it at some point, but let me tell you there were gasps over Nick Hoult’s beauty!”
ON TOM FORD
MG:  Tom is immediately interesting. If it’s all about someone’s cannon of work then most of the time you wouldn’t work with a first ime director, but if the script is good and you have a chat with them and they know which end is up and which is down, then great.
NH: I didn’t know who Tom was when I met him.
MG: Nick “fashion forward” Hoult!
NH:  I’d gone over to LA got off a plane and had dinner with him.  And I asked him how he’d got into directing and why he was doing this!
MG:  I love that.  Isn’t that great?  And that’s also like Tom.  He’s not the sort of person who is like, ‘well fuck you!’.
NH: He explained very humbly what he had done and I thought OK.  And then I looked him up after dinner and was ‘oh jesus!  He’s actually accomplished quite a lot’ so probably quite a stupid question, but he was very honest and modest and made a great director.
MG: It’s so good.  And so good for Colin.  And Julianne [Moore] is bloody great in it as well.  But the real star of it, it has to be said, is Tom. It silences immediately the people who were going ‘you self indulgent cunt.’  It’s like two massive fingers up to them as it is very, very accomplished.
NH:  It’s very personal to him as well.
MG:  Hugely personal as the main story sort of mirror images the relationship between him and Richard.  There’s a similar age gap.
NH:  He would always say my character is him when he was 18.  He’s connected to every character and he knows them.
MG:  And he wrote the screenplay and it’s starkly different from the book.
NH:  Matthew’s read the book, so –
MG:  That’s right!  I have. It is different.  I am always about the script, really.  But one of the really nice things about being involved is that it is a love poem to Tom’s partner, Richard.
NH:  Tom is very good in the sense that he is an actor’s director and knows what he wants you to do but is very giving to let you go off and explore things and try stuff out.  And you don’t feel too much pressure of failure.
MG:  That’s very true.
NH: ‘Cause the second you’re on set – especially when there’s only 20 days to shoot – to not feel the pressure, that’s a good atmosphere he created.  Something his assistant was saying the other day was that he’s very good at holding his hands up and would admit when he wasn’t sure what he was doing and kept everyone on side and made it a really great team effort.
MG:   I love it when someone’s like that.  It’s so far away from self indulgent as well when someone’s shooting into the 19th hour of the day and the ship isn’t sinking, but there’s a leak and it’s far better to say we do have a leak and I’m trying to sort it out rather than leaning on one side and saying everything is fine.  He is fucking great.
ON COLIN FIRTH
MG:  Colin was great.  I knew he was going to be good.  The moment I read the script, I was like, ‘this is something you haven’t done in a long time’ – just something he could really get his teeth into.   He’s such a subtle actor and it’s been a long time since I can remember him having something that central and serious.
NH:  It was a great moment when we went to the Venice Film Festival and got the message Colin was winning the best actor award.
MG:  I know.  The previous evening we had sat there and we knew it had gone down well because there was a NINE minute standing ovation.  And particularly when you’re not in the film as much as I am, then I feel like a fucking charlatan.  I stood there and am looking down and smiling and embarrassed.  Colin’s quite emotional and I tell you what – four minutes of a standing ovation gets a bit uncomfortable, but NINE?  ‘OK, Colin… fucking move. Let’s go. Let’s leave.’ And he couldn’t tell us that he had won and so he was being shy about it.
NH:  Yeah, he kept it very quiet.
MG:  The moment we found out and we were on the boat we were like ‘What the fuck?  You’ve won and you didn’t tell us!?  And he was like ‘ I know, I didn’t wanna.’  He was humble.
NH:  It was great.  It was a bit of an odd first day like you had in the sense that I had to strip off in front of Colin on my first day.  It sounds a bit seedy when I say ‘strip off in front of him’.
MG:  It does!
NH:  It’s part of the film, I swear!  And it’s handled a lot more tastefully that that might seem, but yeah it was a bit of an odd first day.
MG:  Everyone is going to say ‘oh it’s a gay movie’ which we then counteract with ‘no it’s not, it’s a film about love.’  But there is nudity and a bit of man kissing.  Frankly Colin kisses like a nymphomaniac on death row, but it was a real pleasure!
NH:  He’s got a lot of love!
ON JULIANNE MOORE
MG:  She’s a fucking hero.  She’s lovely. I didn’t have any scenes with her. I mean I’m only in flashback, so all my stuff was with Colin.
NH:  All my stuff is with Colin as well.   The first time I met Julianne was in Venice.
MG:  Yeah, she was probably in the middle of juggling six projects or something, you know, she never stops working.  She came in and shot two scenes, which were about 20 odd minutes of the film, and they did that in two evenings so she was in and out.  I never got a chance to meet her until I was at some party in LA and she is just fantastic.  And she’s married to a guy called Bart Freadlich who is a director in his own right.
NH:  He’s a hero.
MG:  He is actually fabulous!  My girlfriend spent the whole evening calling him Bert instead of Bart and he was like ‘you know, actually I prefer Bert!  Don’t worry about it’.  He’s lovely. They could throw their weight around, but they are actually family people and live in New York – they’re kind of anti Hollywood.
ON THE LIFE OF AN ACTOR
MG: There are a lot of Brits and Aussies at the moment who are working.  I don’t know what that means.  But we never think of ourselves.  When you get off the plane and you’re in America they ask ‘what’s the best thing about being a movie star?’ I am a jobbing actor, they have no idea! They make it sound like I get 500 scripts and am sitting there going through them all. If something comes up and they are stupid enough to give it to us or you love the script and audition but someone of a huge stature can come in and take it like Brad Pitt. Or Judi [Dench] – we’ve been up against each other a couple of times.
NH: I’ve never lost out to Judi yet.
MG: Only in a drinking contest! The vicious alcoholic that she is!
NH: Sam Worthington was telling me when he was in LA someone asked him why there were so many Aussies over there doing so well and his response was that it’s an awful long way to go to fail and not give it your best shot, basically.
MG: Oh. I was expecting some sort of knob gag in there, but yeah.
NH: It’s very true. I just got back from LA and every TV series has an English guy in the lead. Joseph Fiennes, Matthew Reece [RHYS]
MG: We’re good. We’re quite good…
N H: I can’t say it’s the training, because I don’t have any.
MG: You’re doing well! You make people gasp! You complete cunt. I hate that!
NH: You’re coming across very eloquent.
MG: That’s very nice of you.  OK, who used to live with Ewan McGregor and Jude Law and he has a TV show? You’re right about that. Though it makes it sound like ‘Oh you’re English.  Have a TV show’.  I’m sure they all have about ten auditions.
NH: I had an interesting day recently when I was at a BBQ and Jimmy Page and Roger Daltrey were there.
MG: Wow!
NH: I sat there and was very quiet because I thought if I speak to them I’ll make a fool of myself so it’s best to keep out of the way and then they can’t have any bad thoughts although they probably didn’t know I was there.  But I knew they were there so it was a good BBQ for me.
MG: I’d love to learn guitar. It’s one of those things I’d love to do. Though it’s not like I don’t have the time…
NH: [Laughs]
MG: I’d like to know all the chords.
NH: It’s difficult to get the fingering right… That’s what she said.
MG: And back to Dame Judi!
NH: [Laughs]
MG: It depends if you have a high action or a low action in terms of the strings.  It hurts. You’ve got to build up the calluses. If you get a low action one that would be easier.
NH:  Are we still talking about women?
MG:  Yes! [Laughs] I remember Billy Crudup got the part in Almost Famous and he had lessons with Peter Frampton but had to have lessons on the side because Peter was like ‘you are fucking terrible’. But that’s one of the nice accidents of the job is you can get training in things. And random travel.
NH: I got to do archery.
MG: You did! That was The Weatherman!
NH: No, for Clash of the Titans. I didn’t use it once.
MG: Oh yes, it was the daughter in The Weatherman.
NH: Yeah man, keep up.
MG: Sorry mate. That’s how pretty you are. I confused you with the female lead.
NH: He’s seen all my work.
MG: I have! I’ve got to learn how to do it. You are a master.  I did a Spanish film and it was all in Spanish [!] – I learnt it phonetically. Jesus, that’s my only skill.  The major skill I picked up is I can pay my rent. The older you get the more you realize there are a lot of people who hate their jobs.  I’m so glad I’m not – ha!  Famous last words! – it does seem to be going OK for now.  But bringing it back to what do you like about acting – to be honest, everything.
ON BRITISH TALENT
MG:  I think there is an element that we’re just so happy to work.  Certainly as for getting into film it was such an accident because I hadn’t worked in front of a camera.  For a while it was like what is the secret code to working on screen?  I have no idea what it is… but even ten films in I’m still sitting here renting and not owning a house.  I think that keeps you grounded.  As opposed to some American actors who are on a hundred thousand dollars doing some TV.
NH:  You don’t get comfortable so you feel you’ve got to keep on striving.
MG: I think we’re overrated. [Laughs].  There is an element over there if you walk into a room of Americans that they’re suddenly like ‘oh fuck they’re British and we’re steeped in tradition.
NH:  It’s odd that Tom got so many English actors for the film – we’re both playing American.
MG:  And Julianne is playing English.
NH:  it’s good he trusts in us to pull of the American accents.
MG:  Yeah, I mean – idiot!  In fairness you’ve done it before and I have done it a couple of times.  But it is odd.   If you think who he probably could have had –
NH:  He probably could have done better than us!
MG:  I’m sure he could have convinced someone with a much higher stature.  I think it was just we were willing to work for free, effectively.  And that’s also what makes Britain great.  We want to work and we want to please the director and often at times, yes we might have strong thoughts on character and script, but we turn up and are like, this is your vision and you are the director and we know where we fit in. Certainly the Brits, I find, we want to be told what to do or how it’s going to work rather than, ‘I’m the fucking star!’ I tend to find we leave our ego at the door. We tend not to pussyfoot around. We all like a drink. We’re steeped in that tradition as well. There’s a certain forbidden thing in America if you drink you’re an alcoholic. No I’m not, and I generally wait until at least half past one.
NH: On weekends. Weekdays, 11.
MG: There is a reason pubs are opened at 11 and it’s because you are allowed to start drinking at that time. Otherwise, they wouldn’t do it! Christ, can you remember back to when – you might not remember, actually. I gasp at your beauty as I try to remember!
NH:[laughs] I’m never going to live this down!
MG:Do you remember when pubs shut on Sundays at, like, 1 for two or three hours? Maybe I’m showing my age now. That is fucking madness. There would be a riot now.
NH:  So basically, we haven’t found a conclusion to what makes Britain great…  You’re a big X Factor fan though, aren’t you?
MG:  My girlfriend loves it.  She’s got me into it.  I mean it’s fucking hilarious.  You literally sit there and you don’t know any of these people but the music comes up and they get selected and you can be in tears and so happy that these people have been selected for the live shows.  I really like the over 25’s this year.  They’re fucking great.
NH:  Matthew Goode on The X Factor!
MG:  ‘He’s very much into the over 25s and what is funny is they are all male’.  But it is great.  But then it’s such a machine.  There is such a turn around.  Sometimes the winner gets completely forgotten and they have no career and then, obviously, sometimes they go shooting up.  But it is great telly!  Saturday night, a couple of beers and The X Factor.
[Pics - My edit of Ben Rayner photos/scan by Natalie Fairchild.] 
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cyancherub · 3 years
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USER CYANCHERUB YOU ARE INCREDIBLE- YOUR MIND!!!!! gunsmoke in mirrors killed me and brought me back like 4 times. from the beginning I was completely and utterly sucked in, I have never been this absorbed in a fanfic before. it's just like I was reading a full-length novel and you wrote it so well I not only watched everything happen, I felt like I was there. my heart was thumping, hands shaking, sweating, body trembling the whole way through. I felt the fear, desperation, excitement, all of it.
and can we talk about the smut? bc OH MY GOD. when kogami picked us up and held us up with only one arm and a hip???? I short circuited so bad. and so much teasing holy shit but every second of it was meaningful and worth it. the way you wrote kogami as so desperate but with so much self restraint was perfect. and the twists!!! holy shit the twists?? after he pulled the trigger I had to take a break and stare at the wall for a few minutes because it was so intense and I just??? I dunno but I needed to let that sink in. and then we got the aftercare scene, which was so incredibly sweet, and once that was over I couldn't do anything but sit and stare at the wall again for another 10 minutes.
AND THE DIALOGUE JASKLDJF especially those italicized lines holy fUCK. those crumbs you were feeding us were already amazing and then you went and did that FOR THE ENTIRE FIC. you have such a way with words, this felt like something that should be studied in a lit program and it was beautiful.
I don't think I'll ever get over this. you are so incredibly talented and this fic was a work of art. I actually finished reading like 12 hours ago but I just had so many feelings I needed to let them marinate a bit before I even attempted to talk about how great this is.
THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THIS ASK SO IF U SEE THIS TEXT BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE KEEP SCROLLING AKLSDLK
ok sorry i have to do that because i cant readmore asks LMAOO
BUT AHHHHHHHHH ! ! ! ! SORRY FOR THE LATE RESPONSE i wanted to wait until i could give this ask more attention but. IM SCREAMIGDNSSGLKLK i love this so much THANK U !!!!!! U ARE SO KIND ! ! !!
IM SO GLAD IT WAS IMMERSIVE ;v; that is always what i want to accomplish with my fics especially because they tend to be so long so i want to make sure the reader is sucked in. SO IT IS SO GREAT TO HEAR THAT !!!! im glad that you felt all the tension & the anxiety that the reader was feeling !!!! that was the goal i am so stoked to hear it !!
ASKLDKLALKLK my god the smut ..... i was going through it over that man !!!! when i was writing it i was just. LOSING MY MARBLES OVER HIM!!! yes ... i think he would be such a tease,, i mean i like all my men to tease BUT him in particular because he's really patient? i think he has the capacity for it. YES THE SELF RESTRAINT !!! he will put himself thru it ... a bit of a masochist if i may say so myself LMAOO. BUT AHHHHH omg,, YES the part right before the twist was so intense to write so im stoked that it came thru as intense as i intended !!!
(rest is under a readmore for spoilers ish?)
BUT EEEEE yes. what a babe. i think the aftercare with him would be nice .. very quiet and peaceful. IM GONNA TEAR MY HAIR OUT AKLSKL i want this man !! i just know he would take such good care of u.
A LIT PROGRAM IM SCREAMINGAKLLK can u imagine ... LMFAOOO but truly. i appreciate the kind words so much !!!! they are everything to meeee !!! ;____; im kissing you so much for this!!! THANK U FOR SENDING THIS i am going to cherish this ask forever !!!
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directionoftime · 3 years
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Hi! How are you? Hope you’re well!
Sorry if I’m bothering you but I came across you fics and Im dying to read Storm Cloud but me, as silly as I am, I try to avoid to read unfinished stories cause I got attached to the stories and don’t know how to live without an ending to it….
So, all of this to ask if you please may consider writing the end of it…
Also another question: the number of chapters changes from ffnet and ao3, why is that? It’s due to the those sites structure to post?
Hi Anon,
Ah Storm Cloud... my first great love, and my greatest tragedy... and now seemingly cursed to wander the interwebs unfinished and loved only at a distance.
The early days of SC being written (where I'd update somewhere between a few days/week) was great going, I got to about the 200-250k mark no problems but life took over, I had to move (jobs/country) and life in general just got stressful in ways that parasitised my creativity. In addition to this, the story just stopped getting any engagement, the comments before (and on other stories like I Missed Again and Go No Further carried over a lot of the same readers and we had some great convos) But as my update turn around slowed, they dropped away - and I completely get it: the longer the update schedule you forget the nuance of the chapter/story and your interest wanes (I've been guilty of this myself more than once!) Soon, the only kind of comments I was getting were (quite literally): "more! XD"
or
"kill urself, virgin s---"
As you might imagine, neither of those particularly helped my already struggling creativity. In the earlier days of writing SC I was in some difficult situations and the good interactions offered me some level of positive social interaction I had precious little of in real life (this might sound weird, but the people I worked with were... hmm... unkind, shall we say).
I had no one else in my life who knew I wrote, or if they did assumed it was something silly, stupid and time wasting. They dgaf about anything I was doing.
So, to address your point of saying you only like to read finished stories: yes, I do understand that - it is frustrating beyond words to read so much of a story and get invented for it to just... end. But, if you can, think of it from my perspective (and other fan-fic authors) for just a moment:
You're expecting me (in context of SC) to run a hyper marathon with no support, no engagement, no feedback, nothing until it's done. [context: I estimate SC to be complete at 350k - that's a 700 page novel!] And then, maybe, I can expect a single comment (which may or may not provide feedback, offer anything kind to say, or any kind of useful positive comment) in return? Doesn't that sound just a little skewed to you?
I'm not attacking you here, I just tying to illustrate that writing takes time, effort, creativity, hard work and a lot of emotional labour (if you're really putting in effort, you need to understand your character, get into their headspace etc - this will vary a bit between authors tho).
In the midst of writing my longer form stories -- I cannot express to you what a well-spring of creativity and passion directly came out of reading comments from my readers. Even when I thought myself out of ideas, I'd read some lovely comments and the sparks were FLYING BABEY!
This has been hashed out by others in past, a probably much more eloquently, but we don't get paid, we have other pressing life responsibilities that no, cannot wait for fan-fiction.
I and others have said: comments are our 'pay'
I write because I love it, but I ALSO love engaging with others about my writing, writing stories that offer people a chance to practice emotions, or follow interesting stories, maybe it's just a free piece of fiction that lets them escape their "real life" for a few minutes - and the stresses there in. There is something magical there, writing a story that someone else loves? That's some lifting the veil of the universe sh-t right there!
There are a million reasons why we write and why we read - and why we (as humans) derive so much pleasure from it.
You get to decide how you interact with fandom (that's really only your choice and I don't mean this in a 'i think ur wrong' kind of way) so I'm not telling you do this or not do that, but I do just want you to consider this perspective the next time you pass over a story because it's "not finished" There is a person on the other end of that story -- the author -- and your willingness to skip over their story, might just be the thing that creatively starves them.
But to answer your question? Eh... maybe. It's been so long even I'm out of the loop of SC and can't really remember some finer points, so it's up in the air I'm afraid. (Diff chapters? Uh might just be because my posting there hasn't kept up whilst I was trying to edit typos/stupid mistakes etc)
I have some original novels and stories I'm working on atm anyway and I've just finished my Masters so I'm currently burnt out to fu-k.
Fandom we're the only ones keeping it and each other alive - please don't be afraid to spread some love!!! <3
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akvtsuki-ari · 5 years
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Sweetheart (Ch.1)
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Warnings: Mentions of BDSM and bunch of other kinks but nothing sexual in this chapter lol. Sub!Spencer and Femdom!Reader 
Length: 5.3k 
Authors Note: this is hands down the most self-indulgent shit ive ever wrote but do i care? the answer is no dsjk  but this that series i had planned where the reader introduces spencer to proper BDSM and all that. hoping to make this fic kinda informative also lol. also im uploading this fic on ao3 as well. also no tags for this fic bc its really specific and ill probably be writing for it for a while! sorry about that
Plot Summary: Spencer Reid just wanted to be.., well, you know. He doesn’t expect to find much when he signs up for a BDSM dating website but somehow he manages you and he couldn’t be more delighted
Spencer Reid was certainly a lot of things. He was a lover of the arts, someone who had a particular affinity for 15th-century literature, a magician at best, a theater nerd at worst, and a teacher when life called for it. He loves the world even when it's really dark and he loves sleeping in even more. He loves his friends and they love him too - even when they pretend that his random facts annoy them. Spencer Reid was a friend, an FBI agent, a genius with an IQ of 187, and a son to a mother he loves wholly. He was a lot of things and for the most part - he knew a lot about what he really loved to do. He supposed that it's been like that his whole life.
It's not everyday that he discovers something new about himself. About everything else? Always. He loves to learn, but about himself? There's never all that much on the frontier.
It's hard to say, because of that, when Spencer discovered he was a sub. It's difficult to pinpoint a specific time and place, or even how the pieces got put together. He just remembers how it felt when it hit him, like a freight train going 100 miles an hour into a concrete wall. Or a plane crashing onto an island. Or like a fly hitting the glass panes of a delivery truck. He remembers the feeling when he was deftly reminded of this fact. Spencer Reid was a sub - through and through and he wasn't really sure what to make of it.
Surprisingly to most of his direct peers, Spencer wasn't a virgin. He'd had sex with 2 people who he'd been kinda friends with at some point, but it always got a little weird after that. The second time though, the girl ended up choking him a little bit when she got off and Spencer thought he had died. Not in a bad way, more in a "I'm so turned on by this I feel like I've genuinely gone to heaven," sort of way. He didn't think it was possible for a sexual encounter to make him feel like that but it did. It didn't stop after that either, which was the most agitating part. 
Spencer doesn't consider himself a sexual person. Sex is about intimacy and companionship, and hopefully love when he finds that someday. Sex isn't necessarily about pleasure but that wasn't an easy lesson to learn.
Spencer just wanted to understand - so like any great genius he participated in thought experiments. It's normally a female superhero/supervillain that crosses his mind (he has an affinity for Poison Ivy), and he just kinda imagines what it would be like if they did what she did. The choking turned him on, but it wasn't enough. Through that, he figures out that he had more than a choking kink and that he was more than a little interested in a partner having complete access to him. He thought about it for weeks and the getting off was working for him but he couldn't get the fantasy out of his head. He wanted more - he wanted someone to fulfill his wishes.
It was too much for him to ignore. Those months of being able to hold off through masturbating are over and he's just sorta itching. Aching to act on those impulses with another person who can give him what he needs, and he doesn't want it to be transactional. Maybe it's too ideal to want a partner out of such an endeavor but was it so wrong? To want real affection and romance from someone who could also overpower him wasn't a crime and he'd be damned if he pretended to want any less. Spencer was just searching, even if it was rather desperately. 
So, when Spencer finds himself on a BDSM dating site and he feels like his life is in shambles, he can only blame himself. It's not something he'd normally do but he's getting a little more than relentless about it but he also just wants to see what's out there. He's so out of it was it happens, it felt like he was being possessed as he made a fake email and wrote out his account information. Definitely blaming it on possession, he thinks. 
It's too late to go back, as he scrolls through tons of profiles of rather intense looking people. He's not surprised, this is where people go to express themselves. They're entitled to that, it just sucks since he's just not ready for such levels of intensity. He wonders if he's in too deep yet, but he figures he'd hit that mark a long time ago and keeps scrolling through profiles. There wasn't much to go off of, many people not choosing to use photos for the sake of anonymity, which was good for Spencer. He clicks onto his own profile, reading his own bio carefully.
USERNAME: DOC187 
SUB/ SWITCH / DOM 
M / F / O
FETISHES: N/A
BIO: Interest in a dominant female companion. Completely inexperienced.
Spencer feels ridiculous, but he doubts anyone would even message him. He doesn't have much on his profile and he keeps things short for that purpose. He wanted to stay as low to the ground as possible - more curious to explore what was going in the world than to find anything legitimate. He scrolls through hundreds of profiles, mostly of people who were BDSM vets looking for new connections or fun. Some people catch his eye but they don't match his interests so he doesn't bother.
Except, one profile. The bio was beyond interesting to Spencer.
USERNAME: MISS—LILAC
SUB / SWITCH / DOM 
M / F / O 
FETISHES: Sadomasochist, Degradation, Humiliation, Pegging, Overstimulation, Edging, Crossdressing, Exhibitionism, Mutual Masturbation, Dacryphilia, Shibari/Gags/Bondage, Wax Play, Impact Play, Breath Play, General Sensation Play, Discipline, Collaring, Begging. Willing to try most things. 
BIO: Interested in submissive males of any experience level. Helps if you're interesting and like to read and watch indie films. Looking for genuine connection and plenty of good banter. Curly hair is nice too. lol.
Before Spencer can think about it for too long his mouse clicks over that stupid little message button next to your profile. Spencer shakes his head at his own existence as he types you a message. Says you're online right now, but Spencer's sure he won't get a response for a while.
DOC187: Seems I fit who you're interested in. I even have the curly hair.
Spencer chews on his nails anxiously before he sighs at himself. He has no clue what's gotten into him belle before he can think he sees your 3-dotted bubble pop up. He feels his body wracked with nerves.
MISS—LILAC: I'm guessing you like to read and watch indie films too?
Spencer smiles. You seem interesting and the fact that the two of you were just talking normal was making Spencer happy.
DOC187: Indeed. I'm a sucker for 15-century literature and anything in Russian and foreign language. You?
MISS—LILAC: 15th century huh? I'll assume Chaucer. And Russian? You're interesting, doc. I'm more modern and English, hope you're not deterred.
Spencer smiles, surprised that you recognize an author as niche as Chaucer. He shakes his head at your commentary. He almost forgets that both of you are on a BDSM dating site and the irony doesn't escape him.
DOC187: Deterred? Never. I think you're rather interesting too, Miss Lilac.
MISS—LILAC: Ever the gentleman doc. I'm hoping you won't run away if I ask you more personal questions.
Spencer swallows. He types back quickly.
DOC187: What kinds of questions?
MISS—LILAC: If it's okay, you're real name and what you do. My names Y/N, and I'm a florist. I live in DC and I love romance novels.
Spencer smiles. He appreciates you laying down the path for him, knowing the stakes.
DOC187: My names Spencer and I work for the FBI. I also live in DC, and I love magic.
MISS—LILAC: Magic? I'd love for you to show me sometime.
Spencer swallows. Part of him feels like it's a stupid idea to ask you out so early but if you asked, he'd likely say yes. He decides to wait it out.
DOC187: I'd be more than happy to show you.
MISS—LILAC: I suppose you could send me a video but that's not the same as seeing the magic in real life, now is it?
Spencer is smiling like an idiot at this point. He shakes his head a little, jittery.
DOC187: Infinitely better live, I would say.
MISS—LILAC: Seems like I've found an excuse to ask you on a date then. Saturday's work for me but I'm sure it depends on you, FBI man. Before that, I'm gonna drop my number and I'll be expecting your call. (XXX-XXX-XXXX)
Spencer giggles. It's a little out of range for things he's used to doing, giggling aloud for someone else is certainly new. Spencer picks up his phone and dials away, anxious to call you but excited nonetheless. He heard you pick up the phone and his heart catches in his throat.
"Hello?," Your voice is smooth, and a little bit lower than he was expecting. It sounds pretty.
"Hello, Y/N," Spencer says back. He heard you laugh on the other side and can't help the way his heart flutters.
"Lovely to talk to you doc,"
"Still Doc? Not Spencer?" Spencer questions. You smile on the other side of the line.
"Doc seems to fit you. But, for the sake of formality, hello Spencer,"
"I like Doc too, but it feels like I should have a nickname for you as well. Only seems fair," Spencer says laughing quietly.
"If it's your prerogative you can call me Miss Lilac, or just Miss but..." you trail off for a minute. Spencer squints.
"Miss is a title, you know? Doesn't seem fair for you to call me that when I haven't earned it from you yet. I'm sure we'll get there but for now you can just call me Y/N," you say softly. Spencer blushes bright red, his voice betraying him as he speaks.
"O-Oh, well um - where does the name Lilac come from? Normally people go with their names when it comes to stuff like that," Spencer says shyly. He heard you laugh on the other side of the phone and blushes again, grateful you can't see him.
"I love the language of flowers and flowers themselves. It's a way to speak that not many people know - but I like the meaning and look of lilacs. White lilacs represent purity, so that was a bit of irony, but light purple lilacs mean first love," you say carefully.
"First love?," Spencer asks. You bite your lip for a moment.
"I joke that BDSM is my first love since it's such a big part of my life. Not as big as some but not small for certain. It gave me much needed confidence so I joke that it was my first," You say lightly. You hear Spencer giggle on the other side and you smile.
"What about your username? Any significance to DOC187 that I should know of?," you readjust your seat on your couch as you talk. Spencer grows a bit embarrassed.
"I normally introduce myself as Doctor Spencer Reid for work, not a medical doctor but I have three PhD's," Spencer admits. You raise your brows but hear the hesitation in his voice.
"Very, very impressive doc. What about the 187? It could be a plain ol' number but my guess would be otherwise,"
"That's my IQ, actually. I don't think intelligence can be boiled down and quantified like that but I couldn't think of anything else," Spencer explains.
"So you're a certified genius with 3 PhD's? To say I'm impressed is an understatement. Anything else impressive you'd like to tell me before I totally pick your brains," you say a little shocked.
"You wanna pick my brains?," Spencer asks. You wanna laugh at the irony of such a silly question from such an intelligent man but you refrain.
"Who wouldn't?," you say incredulously. Spencer smiles shyly.
"The only other thing is that I can read 20,000 words per minute," Spencer says trying to deflect. Your jaw dropped before but it manages to unhinge a little further.
"There's a lot to get to know about you Doctor Reid,"
"I'm sure it's the same for you," Spencer replies.
"Guess we'll have to find out won't we?," you say smiling.
Damn, Spencer got lucky. Hopefully he'd get to find out soon
_____
"Reid, are you listening?," Derek's voice snaps Spencer out of his entranced state. His smiling expression snaps up to look at Derek who looks a little exasperated.
"Sorry, what was that?," Spencer asks back. Derek puts down the case file they were working on. They had just finished a case and needed to complete some paperwork before submitting it for review and to be used in court. The job was given to him and Morgan and Spencer was evidently distracted.
"Alright, kid - what is up with you? All case you've been checking your phone non-stop and spacing out, all smiles and giggles. C'mon now kid, seriously. You got a little lady at home waiting for you or is there something else I don't know about?," Derek interrogates. Spencer doesn't really know what to make of it, though it's not really in his interest to hide you, it hasn't really come up with anyone on the team yet so it was proving difficult to decide what to do. The smile on his face manages to appear again as he starts to think about you, the tips of his ears red.
"Reid," Morgan says again, with a small look of irritation.
"Her names Y/N," Spencer blurts out faster than he can't think. Derek gives him a huge grin, holding his hand out to dap Spencer up. Spencer just looks at it confused for a second before getting the memo.
"'My man," Derek says chuckling. Before Spencer can continue Prentiss, JJ, and Garcia walk in. Hotch is the only one missing, and Spencer's a little grateful.
"What are we celebrating in here you guys?," Prentiss asks first. Spencer goes to say something to move away from his sudden confession but Derek is quick to cut him off.
"Our boy genius over here got him a little lady," Derek announces. The whole team erupts in questions and Spencer wants to bury himself.
"Congratulations, Spencer!! How long have you two been dating?," Prentiss asks.
"You guys are so dramatic. It's only been two months but no first date because well..." Spencer trails off. JJ just nods her head.
"Duty calls, I'm guessing" JJ finishes. Spencer nods deflated hearing Emily draw a breath between her teeth.
"That's tough, Spence,"
Just as Spencer goes to give a response back he gets a text from you that makes his day a little better. It's a selfie of you at work, a picture your employee must've taken of you in a room full of new flower deliveries. You're giving Spencer a toothy grin as you hold a bunch of gardenias in your hand.
Y/N 🌸: *image attachment* 
Gardenias// You're lovely + Secret Love <33
Spencer cannot control the way his whole face bunches up in a smile, as if there's no one else in the room with him. Everyone just looks at him surprised, Garcia giving him a side-eye.
"How can you guys trust this stranger? We don't even know who she is! I haven't even run any background checks on her," Garcia complains. Prentiss nudges her side.
"I don't know if it matters - look at how hard he's smiling over there," Prentiss says. Garcia reluctantly looks and can't help but sigh.
"Okay well he seems really happy but still! We don't even know her," she pouts.
"I'm sure we'll meet her soon," JJ snickers at Spencer's lovestruck expression. Derek leans over Spencer's shoulder and raises his brows.
"Is that her, kid?," Derek asks. Spencer nods, simply staring at the picture you sent. Derek whistles when he sees you - you're genuinely stunning and he's surprised to say the least.
"Hot mama, pretty boy - how'd you manage that?," Derek asks, dumbfounded. Emily rolls her eyes.
"C'mon Derek, I'm sure - oh wow," Emily leans over Spencer's shoulder to see you and is met with the same reaction. JJ and Garcia are quick to follow thereafter, both looking equally as surprised.
"She's..." JJ trails off. The rest of the team just nods as Spencer grins ear to ear.
Spencer 🐻: Beautiful, as always.
Spencer ignores the rest of the team as they look at each other in disbelief.
Y/N🌸: Me or the flowers, Doc?
Spencer🐻: Both, but mostly you.
"Wow, Spencer you're really -" Prentiss starts
"You're whipped, kid. I mean seriously whipped," Derek finishes, nodding in agreement. JJ can't help but smile, giving Spencer a small pat on the back.
"She seems lovely, Spencer. How'd you two meet?," JJ says. Garcia stands around looking rather suspicious. A blush creeps onto Spencer's neck as he's reminded of how you two met.
"Online," Spencer says shortly. No one decides to question it, and Spencer thanks every god he can think of.
"Have you two FaceTimed yet? How can we know she's not, I don't know - catfishing you? Or scamming you in some other cyber criminal way?," Garcia sounds distressed. Spencer gives a small smile.
"We fall asleep over FaceTime every night," Spencer admits. Penelope's expression falls, and Prentiss gives a smile.
"That is disgustingly cute," JJ says laughing.
"Okay, well - I'm still running a background check on her," Garcia says stubbornly "But, I'm happy for you,"
"Thanks Garcia," Spencer mumbles out as he texts you again.
Y/N🌸: I wanna see you, love
Spencer blushes red as he reads your message. The word love makes his whole face hot.
Spencer🐻: I can't take a selfie for my life
Y/N🌸: You're with your team aren't you? Get them to take a picture of you.
Spencer wants to fold away, not ever really being the picture type, but how could he ever deny you.
Spencer🐻: How could I ever say no to you?
"Hey guys, can one of you take a picture of me for Y/N?" Spencer asks embarrassingly red. The whole team sends him a look of surprise.
"I'll take it Spence, try not to look as uncomfortable as you do right now," JJ says. The whole team refrains from laughing as Spencer gives an awkward smile. He thanks JJ who hands him back his phone before texting you again.
Spencer🐻: *image attachment* You owe me one
Y/N🌸: you're stunning as always. hadn't seen you in so long I almost forgot what you looked like.
Spencer🐻: stunnings an interesting choice of words.
Y/N🌸: I said what I said, doc. 
Spencer can't help but do a little giggle, that causes the whole team to give him a look. Morgan just shakes his head, shrugging. Emily, JJ, and Garcia just look at each other before the room draws into a subtle but comfortable silence as Spencer just smiles, totally unaware of how whipped he happened to look. He didn’t seem to mind either way. 
___
"How was work?," Spencer asks over the phone, kicking his shoes off as he looks into his fridge for something to eat. He hears you sigh on the other side of the line.
"Busy today - wedding season is coming up so tons of calls for centerpiece designs and costs. It's going well though, business couldn't be better," you say, clearly tired yet content. Spencer gives a small smile and feels relieved that things are going okay for you.
"That's really good. I'm glad you're feeling alright," Spencer replies. You ease into the couch as you talk to Spencer, relaxing by the second. 
"What about you, FBI man? You have an okay day?," Your voice is full of a gentle concern that Spencer appreciates.
"Yeah, just paperwork and JJ said that we shouldn't have any upcoming cases this week to be worried about so I have the weekend off," Spencer says without thought.
"Have any special plans for the weekend?," you say cheekily. Spencer, still not having caught on, shakes his head for a second.
"No, why?,"
"Hm... well - would you like to go on a date with me then Doctor Reid?," You ask, giggling. Spencer's eyes widen in realization as he facepalms for a moment.
"Wow, I didn't even think... yes - yes I would love to go on a date with you Y/N," Spencer says laughing at his own misfortune. You shake your head instinctively, but the growing smile and even further growing adoration makes it hard to sit still.
"Hey, Spencer," you say, butterflies filling your stomach.
"Yeah?"
"I really like you,"
____
Saturday comes quicker than Spencer can really understand. You told him not to worry about what the days plans would be but he can't help it. Anxiously awaiting you in front of the cafe that the two of you were supposed to meet at, in a part of town Spencer hasn't really seen before. You said that you'd lead the way and the irony isn't lost on him.
"Spencer?," Your voice is small, as you call out to what you think is Spencer Reid. Of course, you'd seen him before but to see him in person like this was still so unfamiliar. His head shoots up, eyes searching for you. He's delighted to have found you, certainly that was true as he walks towards you. Your arms envelop him in a friendly hug and he can't help but find himself sinking into. You smelled sweet, like fruit and flowers (which makes sense, the more he thinks about it)
"Lovely to finally meet you, Y/N,"
"Same goes for you, doc. Would you like to be informed of our plans for the day, or do you prefer the element of surprise?,"  You ask smiling. Spencer laughs at your question.
"Details would be appreciated, but I get the feeling you're not gonna give me those."
"You're right! It's a trick question, since it's a surprise. But, promise it'll be good,"
"I'll take your word for it then," Spencer says with a small smile. You hold your hand out for Spencer which he accepts, locking his hands with yours. The affection makes him feel full of warmth, as you lead him away for the day you had planned for the both of you.
___
Spencer underestimated how well you knew him. He really, really did. It's hard to explain since Spencers been on a date before but this was so profoundly different. He's a little touched, but beyond that he's just.. surprised? Every date he'd been on before this, he'd have to play the gentleman but it never seemed like the other person was interested in just him. It was always casual small-talk over dinner, or a mid-day coffee date or something else that just felt mundane but this was beyond Spencer's imagination.
The first place you took him was a bookstore - which was in Spencers mind already a winner for best date he'd ever been on. You walked inside with him and told him he had to pick up a book for you and you had to pick up a book for him and to say his heart absolutely fluttered would be an understatement. He picked up up a copy of "The Screwtape Tales," by C.S. Lewis for you, and you gave him a copy of Shel Silverstein's "Where The Sidewalk Ends." For you, you got a glimpse to see what Spencer's sense of humor was and you gave Spencer a piece of your childhood. Both equal but opposite forms of intimacy. The only thing was Spencer had to wait to read his book because it's relatively shorter than yours and he reads 20,000 words per minute.
The next place you took Spencer was an indoor butterfly garden. Does he have to explain why that's a good date? He heard you talk about all the scientific names for the different flowers and why they attract butterflies and he wasn't sure he could crush any harder on you if he tried. A particular moment sticks out to him on which a butterfly landed on your shoulders and just stayed there like it didn't want to leave. Spencer's eyes were fixated on it the whole time - and he had never wanted to be a butterfly in his life before but he figures there's a first time for everything.
The last place, where the both of you were at now was just a small coffee shop, locally owned and supported by the community here. You told Spencer that when you started up your shop, you'd come in here to work on big orders before you'd expanded enough to have employees. Spencer admires your work ethic, much more than he could ever anticipate as he sits down at a small booth, totally covering the both of you as you return to the table with a little plate of banana bread and two iced coffees. Spencer pouts as he looks up at you, watching you flash him a grin.
"I could've helped you carry this over," Spencer complains gently. You roll your eyes.
"Maybe next time doc," you say softly. You hold back your commentary often on the date, and Spencer pretends not to notice for your sake but he'd be lying if he said he didn't wanna know. You always had something sly to say but you'd kept it from him so many times now he figures it's better if he didn't ask.
Spencer looks at you as you push a plate of banana bread towards him. He looks at you with curious eyes before reading your clearly excited face and laughs. He picks up a piece and examines it, before taking a bite. If it tasted as good as it smelled then he would be more than obliged.
The involuntary moan that escapes Spencer's throat makes you choke with laughter. Shit, you weren't kidding when you said this was the best banana bread in the city. Spencer just looks up at you like he's about to cry with joy as you double over in giggles.
"I know," You say softly, taking a bite yourself eyes filling with joy "I ordered some more for us to take home - you're welcome," you say with confidence. Spencer smiles because that is genuinely thoughtful, but it was more endearing to see you pretend it wasn't. He just shakes his head, a blush arising to his face as he looks at you. You're staring at him with intent. He quirks his brow at you in question.
"I had a good time today, Spencer" You say warmly. You only called him Spencer when you were saying something affectionate and a bit serious. He gives you a toothy smile.
"I haven't been on very many dates, but this was easily the best one I'd ever been on," Spencer says honestly. You grin ear to ear, hands carefully holding Spencer across the table, running your thumb over his knuckles for a few seconds. You couldn't say for sure whether it was too soon to ask him to be your boyfriend, but you'd be damned if you said it didn't cross your mind.
Spencer was mind-numbingly unaware of what good boyfriend material he was, but beyond that - what good submissive boyfriend material he was. It was driving you nuts, but you knew this was all new for him and you didn't wanna freak him out. Even when guys say they're interested in being submissive, they're still often times uncomfortable with you being fully dominant. Dominant in public and in bed, if you will. You wanted to pay for dates, and buy him flowers, and make him feel special too - at least on the occasion. That role came naturally to you, that let me make you feel owned type affection that only a dominant person can give. It scared men off - out of relationships, and you totally got why - but you liked Spencer too much as a person to risk iit.
Spencer holds your hands together, gathering your attention. You looked at him spaced out and he gives you a look of concern.
"You okay?," Spencer asks. You nod, chewing your lip in debate of whether or not you should express your concerns. Spencer just tugs on your hand and looks at you intently.
You sigh, looking at Spencer softly.
"I'm okay I just really like you," you say a little exasperated. Spencer laughs but is filled with relief.
"I'm glad to hear that. What else is on your mind?,"
"I really like you - like in an, I want you to officially by my boyfriend way and I hope it's not too soon but I'm just, worried I guess," you say nervously. Spencer can't help the way his heart beats in his chest when he hears you say boyfriend. God did he want to be your boyfriend.
"What're you worried about?,"
"I'm worried about freaking you out. I can be a lot since I'm... you know?," You say nervously. Spencer looks at you  to continue.
"I'm more than just dominant in bed, and for a lot of guys it's not their thing and that's their right but I like you so much. I really don't want that to happen if I ask you out now and you realize that it's not for you," you say in clear upset.
Spencer looks at you in disbelief. You were worried that he was gonna freak out over that? That you were too dominant for him? It feels like such a silly concern but the expression on your face tells him you're speaking from experience.
"I mean, it's all kinda new to me but, well - I do like how you treat me? It's a nice change, I can't imagine myself getting tired of it, or of you. I really like you too," Spencer tried his best to reassure you without totally embarrassing you. You smiles at Spencer but your face is still full of doubt.
"If that ever changes, I'll tell you but I'd really like to call you my girlfriend," Spencer finishes. You can't help the warmth that spreads in your stomach at the offer. You just nod, looking up at him. You stand and walk to Spencer's side of the booth, sliding in next to him, leaning your head into his shoulder for a few while seconds. You sit back up, and Spencer turns to you.
"Hey, doc," you say softly. Spencer hums in acknowledgement.
"Can I kiss you?," you ask softly. Spencer chews his lip and nods, looking down at your lip. You're wearing lipgloss and it makes them look pretty - you are so pretty to Spencer.
Kisses are their own language, Spencer figures. The way someone kisses you can tell you a lot about who they are - so, when you put your hands on the side of Spencer's face, pulling him closer to you with such care and adoration - Spencer can feel what you were referencing earlier. The word Miss rings out in his mind, the way you pay attention to him with your hands. He feels your lips press against his, slowly gliding your fingers in his hair, thumb brushing agains the side of his cheek. Your other hand rested on his inner thigh and he has to think about anything other than that not to get hard. Spencer didn't get how much he'd been thinking about touching you until you'd do with no hesitation and he lets out a small whine. You pull back and Spencer has to catch his breath.
His lashes blink up at you and you're absolutely beaming.
"You're cute baby,"
Baby? Spencer wants to cover his face when you say it. You kiss him again and he can't help but feel flush.
You were Spencer's girlfriend and then some and he couldn't be more happy.
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pomrania · 3 years
Text
Great AO3 tags XIV
(I) (II) (III) (IV) (V) (VI) (VII) (VIII) (IX) (X) (XI) (XII) (XIII)
Because the list I’m storing has gotten too long. In alphabetical order, and only one tag per fic.
10 FISH DICKS AND TWO SOMEWHAT HUMAN DICKS
a little light on the shippiness but put on your shipper goggles and it should be fine
also yes the horse gets a character tag fight me on this
anachronistic swordfights
And There Were Cats
Author Takes A Wild Stab at Elementary School Lesson Plans
beta reading is for the weak and i am Stronk
but like wholesome possessiveness
(Can you technically tag religion if it's not even a real religion?)
canon but with my brain gremlins sprinkled in to fill the gaps. as a treat.
Canon I don't even know n! Hahahaha no seriously what is this Canon of which you speak
Challenging the Status Quo like a Boss
chapter 2 is sweeter i promise because i hurt my own feelings and had to make it better
counterspell doesn't work on bullets
definitely inspired by a comment on my last fic
excessive use of the phrase 'darling'
Full Contact Unprotected Cuddling
greek god AU meets coffeeshop AU
hearts to the tag wranglers!
how do you have a crisis of conscience when you don't have one?
how much worldbuilding can i put into a fic: the novel
I am not responsible for you not reading tags properly
I apologise to every english speaker
I don’t know how to write fluff I just pour sugar on things and hope that works
i don't know what this is! and i don't know for sure if it will go anywhere!
I had to add "Happy Ending" as a tag twice just so we're all on the same page
I have been lovingly calling this fic a reverse slow burn and no i will not be explaining that
I Just Want Them To Be Friends Is That Too Much To Ask
I'm constructing an additional hill to die on and it's that one
if you're not prepared for fishman porn turn back now
im also gonna spam this book with vine references lmao
just a huge pile of the warm and fuzzies
Just a kinky angsty and heartfelt story
just a smidge of 2020/21 escapism you know how it is
look its cute and they fuck so be happy with it
man who is used to rough loveless sex discovers gentle sex with someone you love is actually amazing
Miscommunication + Idiots equals no good times :(
Monster employment rates drop dramatically as Hyrule Hero finds his own way to kick his ass
more characters to come but they would be spoilery
names are not mentioned but you could probably tell who the characters are lol
no beta we die like dead people
Okay so maybe this is a little kinkier than I planned your honor
One Real Good "Frozen 2" Reference
Please Hydrate If You Binge This
rated mature because of content warnings not because its horny sorry
Refusing to climb into toilets
Sex can happen without a dick as a trans man I know this for a fact
Sometimes friendship is helping take down the government
sorry if you dont like wilderness survival as a trope i guess?
srsly so much fluff you'd choke on the sugar
TFW you have to invite your bf along to fight a dragon but you want him to live at the same time
the consequences of looking like a bedraggled stray dog
The pandemic rotted my brain so i wrote this
there are probably plotholes but i don't care
They’re gonna be very gay and you’re gonna love it
This is going to be a lot longer than the 18 chaps i had planned
this isn't furry I promise I tried really hard
this would be H/C if either of them were good at comfort
two equally ridiculous characters completely misunderstanding each other
unrelated but who else is hype to watch their faves die in November???
vague indications of possible redemption
we first draft like men
we're putting the canon timeline into a blender and pressing 'decimate'
While writing at three am author decides to forsake grammar
yes i sped up the process of hypothermia for drama okay sue me
you can’t repurpose empty potion vials to take biological samples
You’re the bottom I don’t make the rules
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shuatoyou · 4 years
Text
➵ request: a fic based on an angsty quote from insta: “maybe someday we will be two people meeting again for the first time”
➵ genre: angst angst and more angst
➵ a/n: ughh this quote was perfect, i wrote two different scenarios and had to choose between the one that fit best. this one was the winner. i hope you like it thank you for requesting anon <3 (sorry if its so choppy btw ugh)
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the skies, the damned skies.
you hated how the night sky reminded you of him, his eyes that always sparkled almost as if it was holding an entire galaxy.
you hated how every empty shelf reminded you of the times where they were once filled to the brim with novels waiting to be read by him. 
you hated how he had symbolised nearly everything in your life and it all took you back to him. to that day; that moment. especially now that he was standing in front of you.
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the sound of your phone ringing pulled you out of the daze you were in and you rushed to answer without paying any attention to the caller id. 
“hello?”
“i’ve been trying to reach you for the last ten minutes y/n” the voice on the other line that belonged to your friend mingyu huffs frustratedly.
“i'm sorry i must have left my phone on silent, what's up?” 
“are you coming to the company dinner?” he asks with a nervous tone to his usual cheery voice.
“i have to be there as the team leader, gyu, i told you this.”
“oh you did…”
“is everything okay?” you question as him being forgetful was not likely.
“yeah of course, i’ll see you then. is anyone taking you there?”
“i was just planning on making my own-”
“i’ll pick you up at six then,” he says, interrupting you and hanging up abruptly leaving you puzzled but with a yawn you pick up the work you were previously doing.
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mingyu picked you up at six like he said he would, you greeted him getting into the car. the two of you complimented each other's looks, mostly him praising your sense of style for once with a laugh however the rest of the time you guys rode in silence for most of the journey except when he made small conversations about work here and there until you spoke up again.
“you sounded weird earlier, you alright?” you turn towards the driving figure in your seat.
“im fine, why wouldn't i be?” he says equally as weird as earlier so you just dust it off with a shrug knowing you wouldn't be able to get anything out of him. humming along to the music you both zoned out into your own worlds.
from the moment you two arrived, stepping foot into the large venue rented for the dinner mingyu had practically glued himself to your side while you greeted coworkers and partners.
“don't you have your own team to be sticking by right now?” you asked, sighing.
“yeah but i don't want to leave you alone” he shrugged, taking a drink from the table behind you before offering you one which you gladly accepted.
“it's nothing new gyu don't worry just go” you shoo him away and turn around searching the crowd as you sipped on the prestige glass filled with equally as prestige champagne. mingyu was still hovering behind you however less annoyingly so you dismissed it for the time being.
it wasn't long before you met eyes with a new figure that walked in, your heart began racing and your stomach dropped at the sight of him. his hair was cut shorter now, the charcoal colour of it stood out to you and of course he was wearing the glasses you stole from him countless times. your eyes stayed focused on him watching as he greeted some people, mingyu followed your gaze to finally notice him too, his eyes widening as he immediately steps in front of you averting your attention to himself.
for a moment you’re stood there trying to figure out whether your mind was playing tricks on you but mingyu's actions confirmed enough 
“what are you doing?” you question raising your eyebrow.
“i'm sorry i didn't want you to find out like this y/n” 
“you knew?”
he nodded at your question.
“is this why you were acting weird all day?” 
another question answered with a mere nod, you understood now.
“it's not that big of a deal anyways, i'm fine” you smile reassuringly patting his arm signalling for him to move since he stood in a protective manner, as if you were fragile. with an apologetic look he nods once again, moving away.
wonwoo being there was a surprise to you, especially when it had been so long since you last saw the boy. your mind raced with thoughts and questions that you did your best to shake away.
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eyeing the boxes spread onto the floors, you walked onto the balcony where he was standing looking over at the stunning view you had both bragged about countlessly for the past few years. 
your first instinct was to question why the books were off the shelves and in boxes but he beat you to it as he spoke up.
“i have to go y/n” he told you, not sparing you a single glance.
“what?”
“i got the promotion.” he stated nonchalantly although his eyes were watering making you even more anxious.
“why would you only tell me this now?” you did your best to keep your voice at a steady tone, but you knew wonwoo knew you like no other, probably better than yourself in fact.
“i didn't know how to bring it up, '' he sighs, finally turning to look at you and sitting beside you on the balcony you two had walked onto for air earlier where wonwoo finally decided to bring up the topic.
“a simple, ‘hey i’ve been given a promotion to work overseas’ would’ve done the job wonwoo” you laugh bitterly looking down at your feet.
“i'm sorry”
“when do you leave?” you whispered not trusting your voice anymore.
“next week…” you look up to meet his eyes that were softly looking at you, still as sparkly as ever and still manage to captivate you in them.
“is this goodbye then?” 
“i think so.” he moved slightly to the side getting closer to you, pulling you into a side hug and you don't even fight against it, allowing your figure to be taken into the arms you knew you would miss. the two of you release the tears that were fighting to break free. you felt the circles he rubbed onto the side of your arm, something he always did to comfort you.
he kept his arms around you tightly as you began to withdraw yours from him.
“i can't even find it in me to be angry at you, i really should be but i just can't, woo” your voice comes out shaky, it was like you were disappointed at your feelings.
“this isn't the end y/n” he did his best trying to reassure you.
“it wouldn't have been this hard if you spoke to me… we could have figured something out.” you snapped, feeling a slight anger rush to your head. you were truly upset
“figure what out? would you come with me?” he asked frustratedly.
his question was met with silence, in fact the only sound in the atmosphere was the swaying of the trees and leaves fighting each other on the grounds
“do you think maybe someday we’ll be two people meeting again for the first time?” you mumble.
“yes and i promise that.”
“maybe this is best for us, maybe we need to go our own ways for now and meet when it's time again.”
“until then, i’ll only be one call away,” he vowed.
but the calls never happened, the texts got less frequent and soon he was just a mere memory left in your past.
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his eyes were now looking back at you, holding your gaze. he took a few steps to get closer and see if it really was you making your heart practically jump. you broke eye contact first turning back around to your friend. wonwoo couldnt peel his eyes off of you especially when it had been so long. you had changed alot and it pained him to know he wasn't there for some of your biggest changes although mingyu made sure to notify everyone through his social media during the years which turned out to be beneficial to him more or less.
now you were right in front of him, looking as beautiful as ever. all the memories rushing back but all you could wish for in that moment is for him to have broken the promise.
“he’s looking at you y/n” 
“and? i have to go find my boss.”
“now? wait let me come with y-” you stop him putting a hand up.
“i'll see you in a bit, mingyu.” with that you turned around on your heels despite the objections from the boy himself, making your way to the other side of the venue content on finding your boss until someone stopped in front of you bringing you to a halt, your hands immediately lifted up to steady yourself on the strangers chest.
“steady there”
the familiar deep voice made you jump, quickly removing your hands off him and dusting off your dress.
“still as clumsy as ever?” he chuckled.
“oh.. no you got in my way?” you stated kind of like a question. you knew mingyu was watching this interaction from somewhere so you silently hoped he would save you. 
“sorry about that i guess” he was awkward, his hand at the nape of his neck trying to lock gazes with you but that was your stubbornness not wanting to look him in the eye.
“do you mind if we talk for a minute?” he finally spoke up again after the moment of silence.
you hesitated looking back to where mingyu was standing, he was begging you with his eyes to say yes. so you nodded. there was no harm in talking to him again right?
wonwoo seemed shocked at you accepting to talk so it took him a second to compose himself,
 “oh? okay great.” he stumbled on his words and almost his feet as he led the way to the bench outdoors.
the two of you took a moment to breathe the fresh air and you wrapped your shawl around you tighter in attempts of keeping warm from the fierce cold. he took notice of this. you always got cold easily anyways.
“maybe it wasn't a good idea talking outside in the cold.”
“what do you want to talk about wonwoo?” you ask, making him turn around to you before sitting right beside you on the bench.
“i'm sorry.” he said, voice shaky and deeper than ever. you weren't sure whether the goosebumps on your skin was from the cold or his voice.
you hum in response. “for what?”
“for leaving back then.”
your figure straightens at the words falling out of his mouth.
“is that it?” you say coldly.
“no, but i don't know how to get into the rest of it.” he admits avoiding your gaze like you were doing to him.
“please don't.” you plead with a whisper standing up and facing his sat figure. “i’ve moved on wonwoo everything's different now, i don't need an apology. we did this years ago we got over this. you have nothing to be sorry for.” you vent.
“y/n…” he stands up taking a step closer to you.
“it's fine. it really is.” you assure him as much as you honestly could.
“you were the one who asked if one day we would be two people meeting again for the first time.” he quotes from the past.
“and we have, we met again wonwoo but that's it. im sorry.” you softly smile turning to walk back inside.
he didn't try to stop you because you weren't wrong, you two had met now and that's all there was to it. wonwoo left and took a piece of you with him but perhaps it wasnt enough for the both of you to return to the happy times, at least not together. 
you guys met again, as two different people with two separate lives.
he inhales the cold air around him looking up to the night sky, the stars that were always filled with light had now dulled in his world and yours was only just beginning to brighten again.
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pumpkinpaix · 5 years
Note
老师好!Thank you for writing! i found you through your MDZS story and i really adore your insightful writings about the show. In my opinion, i even think the show is better than the novel in their presentation of WX relationship ~ ! it feels more natural and less pandering. Another essay suggestion for you if you want to write --- In the show, who do you think fell in love first in WX? When were the "turning points" when they realized?
sldjfslikl first of all anon, it’s WILD that anyone would address me as 老师 and i’m simultaneously flattered and gobsmacked. (i’m really really really not qualified to be called 老师 friend—thank you, like, a lot?? but yeah, i gotta say i’m not that cool) thank you for reading my fic and liking it and apparently my one meta enough to come talk to me!! also, SORRY this took approximately a million years i’ve been working on it on/off for like. two weeks. (@the other anon who also requested meta—pls forgive me im really doing my best apparently these take a lot out of me)
confession: I wrote a WHOLE ADDITIONAL essay in response to your opinion about show vs. novel that i ultimately decided to cut because it flies a little too close to the discourse sun and you didn’t ask for that hahaha. if it turns out you are interested in it, feel free to hmu and i can post it (though i’ll probably try to keep it out of the tags for my own mental health’s sake im not cut out for this lmao)
that all being said, who do I think fell in love first? it was definitely lan wangji, and it was right here:
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[id: screenshot of lan wangji watching wei wuxian making a wish to “protect the weak and curb the strong, with a clear conscience for all my life” from episode 7 of the untamed drama. wei wuxian’s eyes are closed, his hands clasped. lan wangji looks on with a surprised tenderness. /end id]
I think it’s safe to say that he already finds wei wuxian attractive/intriguing (see: his reaction to wei wuxian drawing his portrait, tying the lan ribbon around their wrists, the PEAK gay panic in his voice when wei wuxian trips and falls on top of him), but this is the first moment he’s really moved by him. up until this point, wei wuxian has been teasing, immature, A Nuisance™, too clever for his own good, troublemaker energy personified etc but he hasn’t ever revealed his deeper moral values in front of lan wangji—and he does it like this, without pretension, without irony. He doesn’t spend his wish on something frivolous or material: he wishes to be able to do good for all his life, to be righteous, to be kind. it’s the wish he makes for both of them. “the promise we made together all those years ago,” as he says, half a lifetime later.
like just. imagine, for a moment, being lan wangji, whose whole world is being constantly challenged and needled by this unfairly attractive, chaotic bastard and then he just comes out of left field with this. I think this is where lan wangji first recognizes himself in wei wuxian—that at their core, they share their most important values.
look what i’m saying is this is where I fell in love with wei wuxian.
(sidenote: I really think a lot of the tragedy of mdzs/the untamed is stems from this moment. wei wuxian fails, over and over and over, even when his wish never changes, even when all he ever wanted was to do good without fear.)
i had to think for a really long time to try and decide which moments i wanted to talk about on wei wuxian’s part, because i don’t think he’s nearly as easy to pinpoint. lan wangji falls in love like a lightning strike, but wei wuxian’s love is something that grows so slowly, i don’t think he realizes what it is until pretty late in the game.
so let’s begin with this moment on phoenix mountain:
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[id: screenshot of lan wangji and wei wuxian facing each other on phoenix mountain from episode 25 of the untamed drama. lan wangji is waiting expectantly for an answer, having just asked, “what am i to you?”, hand behind his back. wei wuxian is holding his flute, expression complicated and uncertain. /end id]
this is the first time i think wei wuxian is asked directly to label his feelings about lan wangji, and he says, “i once thought of you as a lifelong, intimate friend.” and when lan wangji presses, “and now?”, he doesn’t respond.
two episodes later, when wei wuxian is taking the wen refugees out of their prison camp and lan wangji appears before him, I think he has some kind of answer to lan wangji’s question:
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[id: screenshot from episode 27 of the untamed drama. wei wuxian holds out chenqing before him in challenge to lan wangji, who is offscreen. he is smiling, just slightly, resigned and fond and terribly sad. /end id]
“if there really must be a battle between me and them, then I would rather fight to the death with you. if i must die, then at least i would like to die by hanguang-jun’s hand. it wouldn’t be an injustice.”
if that isn’t some kind of confession, I don’t really know what is.
but it’s too late—he’s now a defector in the eyes of the four sects. lan wangji lets him go and wei wuxian rides away. the remainder of his first life, that’s how things stand. even through everything with a’yuan, the final massacre at the nightless city—even though there’s something really meaningful there between them, it’s all tinged with a sense of impossibility, you know? there’s no outcome where they can resolve it happily. wei wuxian has gone too far down that single-plank bridge.
the first moment i think wei wuxian has to confront the unresolved and unsaid things between him and lan wangji comes when lan wangji gets drunk that one night and tells him, “i have regret.”
“what regret?”
“that at the nightless city, I did not stand beside you.”
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[id: screenshot of wei wuxian looking at lan wangji (offscreen) with tears in his eyes as the full realization of what lan wangji just drunkenly confessed hits him from episode 36 of the untamed drama. /end id]
“so all this time, you’ve been searching for me?”
earlier i said can you imagine being lan wangji for a sec, and i’m gonna say it again except god. can you. IMAGINE being wei wuxian in this moment. finding out that this person that you maybe suspected you had deeper feelings for but never acted on has spent the entire sixteen years of your death searching for you, regretting that he didn’t stand with you before you died? a regret that he’s been carrying in secret, alone, for sixteen years?? that’s A Lot to unpack.
however, I don’t think wei wuxian really, fully understands and accepts how he feels and how lan wangji feels in return, how far they’re both willing to go until episode 42, at the confrontation at jinlingtai.
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[id: two screenshots from episode 42 of the untamed drama, right after lan wangji takes a stand beside wei wuxian against the four sects. image 1 is lan wangji smiling at wei wuxian: he is gentle and sure. image 2 is wei wuxian smiling back at him, eyes red-rimmed and wet. /end id]
even though lan wangji has been walking with him since dafan shan, he’s been doing it with a plausible deniability. and here, when wei wuxian is trying to give him an out, lan wangji puts everything he has on the line so that he can clearly stand with wei wuxian, without dissembling, without hesitation. “the feeling of of walking on a single-plank bridge into the dark truly is no worse.”
lan wangji is finished with regrets.
“it’s just funny, that’s all,” wei wuxian says, “back when the whole world flattered me with praise, you were the only one who would scold me. but now that everyone is calling for my death, all hating and condemning me, you’re nevertheless the only one standing by my side.”
i think after that, for all the remaining episodes, there’s an unspoken commitment between the two of them that underpins the rest of their interactions, which I think I can say without reservation that I like more than how it played out in the novel. EDIT 16 APR 2020: I changed my mind a while ago, ahaha. Turns out, I don’t prefer CQL over MDZS. I love them both so much. ;A; there’s something really profound about it, the trust in their unlabelled relationship. it really feels like the inexorable culmination of two adults in their mid-thirties coming together after falling in love for almost twenty years. there’s a maturity to it that isn’t present in the way the novel does the confession (which does have its own disaster energy™ charm) that I think highlights the fact that they love each other, not just because they admire each other, not just because they’re attracted to one another, but because they understand each other—because when they look at each other, they also see themselves.
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fictional-semantics · 4 years
Text
So, you want to take the next step
Sharing Some Info!
okay, so I’ve gotten some messages from several people asking me about the querying process and where to find agents, etc. so I’ve decided to compile what (little) I know into this post :)
Should I File For a Copyright Claim?
it definitely never hurts to file one before submitting to an agent. If you’re actively posting excerpts on here (like me haha), and you’re worried about someone stealing your work or copy/pasting, it might be a good idea in case of the event of that happening. It makes it much easier to collect damages that way. It can also be soothing and one less thing to worry about.
But that may or may not be my personal paranoia speaking. 
But somethings you should know before doing this are: it will cost money to submit the claim, and that the processing time period is rather long-- 3 months at a minimum. 
And I cannot stress this enough-- MAKE SURE YOU SUBMIT TO A LEGIT OFFICE
There are many scammers in the ocean of the internet. What I used to file my claim was the US Copyright Office. If you also live in the States (and maybe Canada? I don’t remember), this is your best bet. If you live overseas, file to your country’s copyright office.
Writing Under a Pseudonym
This doesn’t really affect the copyright process all that much, it’s just a little more time at the computer. 
If you are writing under a pseudonym, you will have to file the claim under your real name. but they will ask you what your pseudonym is if you have one. 
Finding Agents
So, you have a manuscript all polished and edited, and now you want to submit to a literary agent(s). Wonderful!
There are multiple resources you can use to find the agent best suited for you. I’ll list a couple of the ones I used below:
Manuscript Wishlist: this is a website where agents and editors list just what they’re looking for in a manuscript. They also include their agency, what genres they typically represent, and their favorite books. They also include their submission guidelines and/or contact information. And if they use QueryManager, they’ll provide the link to the application.
Writers’ Digest: I’m sure many of you have heard of this database, but they also list some agents open to queries and provide a bit of background information on them.
Reedsy: Reedsy helps authors find and enlist agents, editors, and publishing professionals. With over 150.000 authors registered and a collection of different professionals, you’re bound to find someone to work with. Just make sure you do your research.
Grub Street: This is a creative workshop established in my home town, but they have a steady online presence. They offer multiple workshops for creative writing, and have a lot of resources for teen writers in particular.
Query Letter
So you found an agent you want to submit to. Awesome. Now begins the dreadful wonderful process of writing a query letter. 
A query must contain a synopsis or general overview of your manuscript. This is where you sell it. Get the agent excited about your book. Hype them up!
You should also include a little bit of information about yourself and any writing cred you have (degrees, writing awards, etc.). 
Or if you’re still in school like me, just talk a bit about your writing and your interests.
And no matter your age, you should talk a bit about how this novel would be a good fit for their interests.
You should also give a bit of insight on what you wrote this manuscript. Personally, I wrote a bit about how my novel took shape over the years as I got older. 
There are plenty of examples of this online to give you some ideas or inspiration if you’re feeling stuck.
If you write under a pseudonym, you can include it in your sign off. Here’s the format:
- Name Last Name (writing as Pseudonym)
WARNING: if an agent requests money for you to submit, or asks for your entire manuscript BEFORE deciding to represent you, steer clear of those guys. There’s always a possibility of scammers that look to make money off of writers, or to steal your manuscript. Better safe than sorry.
Most agents give a response in 4-6 weeks, so don’t expect a response a week later. It sucks for us impatient folk haha omg im losing my mind
IF YOU FILED FOR A COPYRIGHT BEFORE TALKING TO AN AGENT: no big deal. just be sure to tell them if they decide to represent you. Other than that, they don’t care. Do not include that in your query letter.
And... that’s literally all I know rn haha
I hope you found this helpful!
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aliferous-ly · 5 years
Text
The Setting Sun
yall. Yall. i wrote a fic im so proud of myself. This is Possibly a series, if y’all want it !! otherwise standalone /peace sign/ also, if you like a certain pairing then mention it bcos idk which pairing yet, if any, so :3c
Summary: “He... Logan wasn’t angry, at the events. He just came to a realization, like dust, sitting heavy in his lungs. If he coughed his entire life would go black and gray, and he wouldn’t be able to stop.”
AKA Logan realizes he’s not the best person to be Thomas’s Logic. So he makes a new one. 
Words: 3196
Genre: angst, some fluff. Logangst, of course
Warnings: implied character death for a moment (I promise, he does not die). deprecation, not showing all the sides in the most flattering light (like humans), disappearance.. if there’s anything else, please let me know!
writing tag: @sassy-in-glasses​, @rose-gold-roman​, @justanotherpurplebutterfly​, @echomist13​
Logan came to the realization like Roman might describe love: slowly, and then all at once.
He was increasingly perceptive of the other sides’ actions, though he wasn’t sure if this was a side effect of being Logic or if it were more... paying astute attention to their every move.
But he started noticing the little things, like when Virgil mentioned how certain long silences made him nervous and attentive to every single move.
And the word games of sarcasm that sometimes, used to, fly over his head.
But he’d gotten better.
And he’d gotten so much worse for it.
He noticed Roman’s roll of the eyes when Logan turned away, or sometimes in full view, turning to look at Thomas, get a load of this guy. He noticed the disdainful flick of his fingers, the push of his shoulders, the sneer on his lips that might disappear in moments time.
Of course he saw Patton’s strained smile, his frown at Logan’s exposition, just hold back a bit next time, bud, we don’t want any wounded feelings around here! The concerned jolt of his gaze, flipping between Virgil and Roman and Logan, uncertainty, forced delight, the simmer of it’ll all be okay, let’s just take a step back and talk about it! even though Logan knew “it” would always be feelings and not the actual issue at hand.
And Virgil’s candid nature hid such secrecy that Logan couldn’t miss the darkened expression, the gentle lean away, how Virgil would talk about how Logan disrespected him, or used to, and in the next heartbeat force Logan to shift for his means. The listen, dude, you might want to lay off a bit. Of course, Logan could do that, of course.
He couldn’t miss, then, Thomas wincing, the muscles in his face contracting into something (something) and he’d make eye contact with Roman or Virgil and they’d have that look. He couldn’t miss Thomas’s awkward stance, the way he’d shift when Logan stepped up to speak, the defense alighting in everyone’s eyes the moment Logan opened his mouth.
He... Logan wasn’t angry, at the events. He just came to a realization, like dust, sitting heavy in his lungs. If he coughed his entire life would go black and gray, and he wouldn’t be able to stop.
He couldn’t cough. He couldn’t mess up.
Logan massaged the center of his chest, staring into a shard of broken glass glittering rainbow in the light of the mindscape. Every side had one; they’re own personal escape into Thomas’s core, the centerpiece of his existence.
Too long spent in there, and they would dissolve into Thomas. And I wouldn’t want to lose you, Patton told Virgil. Please don’t go back.
Logan wouldn’t leave without a second thought. He couldn’t do that to them; Logic was a particularly important piece to discussion, and Logan knew that he... that Logic would be needed, for the pieces to fit together. For the code to run properly.
Viscous despair surged through his veins, slogging and clogging his throat and heart, and Logan knew he was no longer needed. Not as Logan. As a facet of Thomas’s personality, he’d failed, and grown too far from the center.
Logan exhaled, closing his eyes and ignoring the trails down his cheeks. Touching the cold surface, he slowly drew his fingers away, trails of electric blue and steel grey extracting from the glass. Logan pulled the essence of Logic from Thomas’s core, the very thought that had been used to make him – only, different, because Logan... Logan could not be a repeat, he could not be another stumble in the process of Thomas’s life.
He gathered synopsis, collected and connecting every (important) aspect of Logic into one humanoid figure. They were comprised of long strings like nerves, dark blue and gleaming.
One more thing. Logan took a moment, or two, to think. He couldn’t mess this part up; done incorrectly, Logan would cause the very problem he was seeking to repair.
One breath, two, and Logan tapped his index finger against his heart, wincing as he drew out a long strand of glowing silver, waving ribbon-like through the air. The world dulled a little at the edges, his connection to Thomas waning and dissolving like morning dew. He suddenly couldn’t remember what year Thomas graduated, or how long he’d studied to be an engineer.
(He remembered twenty Disney facts that Virgil and Roman had tag teamed in teaching him, he remembered Patton’s favorite tea and how much sugar he liked in his coffee, he remembered–)
Logan wove the silver through the blue, interlocking the two until he’d created a fully new being, complete with all of Logan’s capabilities and (Logan slid his fingers away from the silver) his connection to Thomas.
“You’re going to fix everything I’ve destroyed,” Logan said softly. He leaned forward, suddenly tired, rubbing at his temples. “I’m sorry for pinning you with the responsibility. But with luck, you’ll be just the right Logic for them.”
Logan cradled the blue strands shaped like a jaw, and pressed a single kiss to their forehead. “You’ll succeed where I’ve failed,” he said, as life and autonomy filled the shape of a human Logan had created. Skin stitched over blue wiring, eyes glowing the silver of Logan’s connection as they blinked open.
“You are Logic,” Logan said, exhausted and fading fast. “You know your purpose. There are others like you, but they do not know you yet.”
The new Logic stared at him, unblinking. They opened their mouth and said, “What are you?”
Logan smiled, brown eyes crinkling at the edges. “I’m nothing.”
“But you are here,” they said. “You cannot be nothing. Nothing does not exist.”
“Truly, I am,” Logan said. He reached out a hand, the skin and veins and bones disappearing, fading like a mirage. “You see? I am vanishing.”
They blinked once, then. “You are Logic.”
“No,” Logan said. He shook his head. “I was.”
His body finally got the cue, and Logan faded just like Roman had once explained love:
Slowly, and then all at once.
I was.
I am no longer.
Roman heard a whisper through the mindscape and looked up from his book, narrowing his eyes.
“Roman?” Patton asked, doing a jigsaw puzzle with Virgil. “What’s up?”
“I heard something,” Roman said.
Virgil snorted. “Like, a ghost? Are we haunted? Can we be haunted?” he sounded excited about the concept.
“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Roman said. They made faces at each other, a common “you’re irritating” that they exchanged.
“Maybe I’m the ghost, and you’re just now noticing my ghostly attributes,” Virgil said, wiggling his fingers.
“If any of us were a ghost, it’d be Logan,” Roman said, laughing. “From how often he holes himself up in his room nowadays.” He winced, then, because yikes, he forgot to watch his mouth again. He waited for Patton’s chiding be nice to Logan, Roman, that he’d always gotten with Virgil, and frowned when it didn’t come.
Virgil snorted before refocusing on the puzzle, evidently done with the conversation. Patton made a small noise of victory, slotting a piece into place. Virgil’s face softened with a smile.
Roman turned back around, leaning against the couch, brows furrowed. Something was wrong with the mindscape, something off. But if Virgil wasn’t noting anything, then it had to be solely in Roman’s realm.
Because... well, Roman couldn’t explain it, really, just a couple feelings thrown together with erratic stitching into a mismatched blanket that barely worked. But if he had to hazard a guess, something had been created, and shifted, and something – he longed to know what – added, to him, to his job.
The last part made him a little indignant because honestly, wasn’t his job hard enough? Which side decided well, this is a little much for me, Roman can take it!
Probably... well, probably Logan, but it didn’t seem logical for Logan to dump something else on Roman, not when Logan knew how stressed Roman could get, not when Logan was uncomfortably familiar with Roman’s breakdowns.
“Hey Virgil,” Roman said, throwing an arm on the back of the couch and turning to look at the table.
Virgil sighed. “What, couldn’t stand silence for more than five minutes?”
“It was three minutes and forty five seconds and I cannot, in fact, stand upon silence so no, I cannot,” Roman said, the words tumbling from his mouth before he could think. “Nerd,” he tacked on at the end, lamely and without heat.
Patton stopped moving, his and Virgil’s gaze stopping on Roman’s face, expressions twisted with confusion.
Virgil laughed uncomfortably, shifting in his chair. “You might be spending a little too much time with Logan, man.”
“I think it’s a good thing!” Patton said. “Logan can be a tough nut to crack.”
Roman frowned, because he wasn’t really, although he... he hadn’t really tried, as of late, to focus on him.
“I’m... I’m gonna go to imagination,” Roman said.
“Alright, kiddo!” Patton said. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m just...” Roman searched for an excuse, half-standing, when an idea struck him. He trained his face into a cocky, pompous expression, drawing on Thomas’s ability as an actor, falling into his role easily. “I’m bored. Reading this novel has not been as stimulating as promised, and I need to fight something.”
Virgil rolled his eyes and Roman internally grinned. Ace in the hole. Patton laughed and said, “Go ahead, bud! We’re not holding you back!”
Roman stood fully, stretching and setting the book on the side table, careful not to bend any of the pages. His books were littered with dogears and highlights, but Logan’s were meticulously cared for, only the best of the best with perfect folds (favorite parts) and notes.
Roman sank out to the hallway they collectively called home, each of their rooms branching out. Patton’s, of course, was adorned with various positive imagery with the overarching pale blue theme. Virgil’s was pitch black, delicate engravings of purple, covered in Logan’s notes and Patton’s pictures and Roman’s odd stickynote varying from return my earbuds you heathen to a realistic drawing of a chicken.
He stood in front of Logan’s door, eyeing the straight white and blue lines. They really needed to paint over this, it didn’t encompass Logan at all. Roman had a few ideas... maybe he would tell Logan, while he was here.
Roman knocked. “Logan?” he called out, puffing his chest to make his voice sound bigger. “It’s time to emerge from hibernation!”
Nothing.
Roman blinked a few times. Was Logan not in his room? But then, where else would he be? “Logan? Look, I’m sorry I was going back and forth with you on the blue and pink colors, it was so much like the sleeping beauty dress that I couldn’t resist.”
A few more seconds, and Roman frowned. “Are you not in there? Hello?” He knocked a few more times, just to be sure. Maybe he had earbuds in, or something.
The door swung open, Roman’s fist poised, and everything tilted on its axis for three horrible seconds.
“Who...” Roman choked on his words, confusion-fear-bewilderment filling his veins. “Who are you?”
They didn’t move, eyes open and unblinking, a striking silver color. “I am not a who. I am a what. I am Logic.”
Something small and dark twinged in Roman’s chest and he shook his head. “No. No, you’re not. Where’s Logan?”
“At the present moment, I am uncertain.” A channel of silver lit up their cheekbones, like wires in a circuit board. “Logan did not tell me where he was going, only that he was.”
“Logan is Logic, you’re... you’re not Logic,” Roman said again, shivering. This was wrong, this was wrong. “Why are you here?”
“I am the manifestation of Thomas Foley Sanders’s Logic, intended to add reasoning to certain discussions.”
“No, Logan is,” Roman tried. They didn’t blink, which was really starting to unnerve him on a whole different level. “I don’t understand.”
They regarded him for a moment. “Very well. I will expound. Logan created me ten minutes and thirteen point three seconds ago. He used the mindscape to do so.”
Roman flinched. Logan created something. Logan created... he swallowed, throat thick.
They – Logic? – continued. “The former Logic said, ”You are Logic. You know your purpose. There are others like you, but they do not know you yet.“ When I inquired of his being, he stated, ”I am nothing.“ This is paradoxical situation, so I sought to remedy his flawed thinking. He said, ”You see? I am vanishing.“ His fingers disappeared into the air, of a way I am thus uncertain. I called him this ”Logic“, as you did, but he corrected my flawed verbiage and stated, ”No. I was.“ Soon after his statement, the rest of his body vanished. I have been standing in the room, collecting data for my success here. Evidently, the former Logic knew his job was being fulfilled incorrectly, and decided to find a solution. I was created as the solution.”
Roman couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. “What?”
“Would you like me to repeat?”
“No, no,” Roman stuttered, out. “No. No, Logan wouldn’t... how did he make you? How?”
“From the data I have obtained,” they said, still not blinking or moving, as if they were a picture on a background, “the former Logic gathered the essence of Logic into a singular being from the data of the mindscape. He inserted that being with a silver strand – of which I am uncertain of the reason – and gave the being life.”
“The silver,” Roman whispered, realization dawning in his eyes. “The silver is the connection to Thomas, you need it to be one of his sides, I’ve never heard of... transferring, or whatever he did...”
Roman fell quiet, the silence deafening to his ears. Logic hadn’t invited him into Logan’s room, though Roman wondered if Logic knew common societal practices, or if he was merely... a computer. A vessel.
A thought struck him and Roman’s spine shot ramrod straight. He stared at Logic intently, just barely stopping himself from grabbing their shoulders and shaking (just to get some movement, some life). “The golden string. What did he do with it?”
A few seconds passed as they processed this. “I am in no possession of a golden strand.”
“But where – where–” Roman stopped, took a breath, and reworded his sentence. “What did he look like before he disappeared? Did he glow, or were his eyes a different color? His veins?”
Roman counted one, two, three, four, five before Logic spoke. “The former Logic had skin much lighter than a healthy human being, being transparent and pale. His veins were not red or blue but a copper, gold color. His eyes were brown, but the irises had lines of gold within them, which steadily took over the entire iris.”
Roman lost his breath and almost fell, holding himself against the wall with one hand. “He’s... he...” Oh my god.
“Is the golden strand important to my functions?” Logic stated more than asked.
“Not... not your functions, but it’s... it’s his entire personality, his memories, his feelings,” Roman said, the words thick and heavy in his mouth.
“Very well,” they said, and asked no further questions, a silence that gave Roman a whiplash he never thought he’d feel. His curiosity, his wit...
And then it struck him.
“Oh, no, Logan,” Roman murmured, eyes wide and unblinking. Logan hadn’t left any untied odds and ends, had he? The “essence” of logic in a different being, and his extra jobs, the ones that required a personality, that required feeling, he pushed... pushed onto Roman. And, undoubtedly, part of Virgil, part of Patton... they all carried a little bit of Logan in them, now.
Roman had Logan’s scathing wit, his quick comebacks.
He didn’t want them.
“The gold,” Roman said. “When he vanished, did he have a mirror on him? A shard of glass?”
“I am uncertain.”
“And you don’t have any desire to learn? To figure it out? Wrack your brain?”
“I do not have desire,” they said so plainly that Roman wanted to cry.
“Okay, I need to... I need,” Roman gestured a bit with his hand, thoughts running a mile a minute. “Mirror mirror on the wall...” his mirror appeared in his hand moments later, gilded with gold and an intricate handle. Roman clutched it like a parched man to water. “Show me Logan.”
The mirror swirled, disney-esque to his name, before revealing a vague fog with a shimmer of gold. One moment there, gone the next, leaving just... gray.
But it was there.
Roman was certain of it.
“He’s still alive,” Roman murmured. The mirror, if it had not been made of impenetrable thought, would have cracked under the pressure of his hands. “He’s still alive.”
“The former Logic did not erase himself?” the other Logic asked.
“No, he’s still there, just his personality and thoughts and memories,” Roman said. “He didn’t erase himself. He moved himself into the mindscape. He did the sides version of moving far, far away.”
“He should have. He cannot take up space in the mindscape,” Logic said.
“His personality isn’t much space at all,” Roman said. “The mindscape is neigh endless. You know this.”
“You make a valid point. I concede,” Logic said. Roman frowned. Agreement so fast?
“But that means he’s still there,” Roman said. “He’s alive. And that means we can find him.”
“Are you certain he wishes to be found?” Logic said.
“No,” Roman said. “But I... I can’t let him just leave. I can’t. The longer he spends in the mindscape, the more he disappears... almost like growing old. I need to... He shouldn’t have left. He’s logic, he’s our logic, and I... I miss him.”
“Very well.” No fighting whatsoever.
Roman took a shuddering breath. An actual mission, with real dangers. An adventure, the romantic side of his brain whispered. Save the damsel in distress. Only, Logan had chosen to disappear into the mindscape.
But Roman couldn’t do nothing. He’d... he’d have to, at least, find him, and talk to him. It wasn’t right for Logan to up and leave without telling the others.
Then it’s decided, then?
“Okay,” Roman said. “Okay. I’m certain.” He squared his shoulders, breathing slowly. “I’m going to get him.”
Logic said nothing, stare blank and emotionless.
Goosebumps rose on Roman’s skin. “But first...” he flicked the mirror, vanishing it into the mindscape. “First, I have to tell the others.”
Logic didn’t move as Roman sunk out. Roman wondered if he’d still be standing there, hours later.
He didn’t know why Logan had left. Why Logan had committed an act so much more thorough, so much more permanent, than Virgil ducking out.
I don’t know why you left.
Roman rose in the living room, drawing Virgil and Patton’s curious gazes.
But I know one thing.
Virgil shot to his feet, entire being buzzing with energy and fear-anxiety-nervousness.
You’re not alone. You’re never alone.
Patton stood slowly, a shaky sort of realization filling his face before Roman had even said a word.
Your family is behind you.
And we’re not leaving you behind.
483 notes · View notes
seijch · 4 years
Note
hi im about to spam u (so sorry) but ive been too scared to read doomsday until now and im so glad i finally did becasue dude. Dude. its so much. "It’s as the sky bleeds from orange to pale blue that it hits." i loveeee how you incorperated such small moments like the hot chocolate and the ily + i know... be even here just the thought of your Last Sunrise is heartbreaking, but to /realize/ your own end coming in that moment, especially watching the soft sunrise... oof.
HI!!! omg when you sent this i was like . abt to sleep but i read this before i did and went irl 🥺🥺 and then also passed out before i could formulate a response sjfksdfds
anyway!! my response to your asks (i hope i got them all but!!) will be under the cut bc i dont know how to shut up ❤
a lot of the way the interactions in doomsday unfold are honestly BECAUSE tsukki and the reader are (i mean first of all, theyre tsukki and the reader with all that comes with) fully aware that:
they have abt a full day of life left
theres nothing that can be done to elongate that time or avoid death altogether
its not like some young adult novel where a group of ragtag teenagers save the world; its the tale of two adults who have had time to come to terms with the fact that their lives and the lives of everyone they know will end soon (and once again everything that THAT comes with). its why i rlly enjoyed juxtaposing the nice weather w the crippling realization of their own mortality 🕺🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻
"you try to stress your words, make it absolutely clear that you’ve never meant anything like you mean this" this is HEARTBREAKING in a whole miryad of different ways - for a realtionship u establish as one with so many things unsaid but still understood, but here to have her say this so desperately?? like she feels this its too big to leave between the lines? it doesnt matter that he knows, she needs to say it and needs him to hear it UGH IM SAD AGAIN
IM SO GLAD YOU POINTED THIS ONE OUT!! this is EASILY one of my favorite parts of the whole fic mostly bc its something i go thru a lot? like im the definition of that tweet abt never making any damn sense but ESP when it comes to my i love yous or other serious things...i say it a lot and yes i mean it every time! but sometimes i MEAN it and i never quite know how to properly express that kinda thing. 
i think its especially big for the reader in the context of the world ending and in the context of their relationship with tsukishima to have that moment of transparency and complete sincerity for the EXACT reasons you described!!!
"It’s hollow; neither of you have been under the delusion that this was anything but." u said u werent sure about his characterisation but this screams tsukki to me. cuz hes blunt and i dont think he would lie to himself about something like this especially. and even when she tries just for a moment to pretend, he just shows her /no, its ok, this is the truth and we have to die with it/... nah it vibes dude. hes such a interesting character for this idea too? because hes not sappy or anything +
so his tears hurt so much more... oof. "This is my goodbye, he says with more than words." this just... i have so many feelings about this. cuz to me hes totally someone who shows affection through small actions when he cant find the words to match his emotions? so this is like a 4-book-saga laying out his emotions cuz he doesnt quite have the words to say it out loud and theyre out of time. its desperate, but not sad desperate? like its the end but its just him making sure shes knows everything 
ok first of all THANK YOU for saying that bc i wrote him being more vulnerable than i think we rlly see in any tsukki not like ... in junior high LMAO and immediately after i felt my characterization alarms ringing ... like yk those natural disaster alarms? thats the vibe...
but i had one of those Moments where i was no longer the one writing and it was the characters themselves just telling me what to say and how to say it nsfsfsd so im rlly glad it worked! and tbh when the concept first grabbed me by the collar i was juggling a few different characters around in my head but i think i made the right choice in the end. its like you said -- hes not a particularly sappy type and hes always been more grounded in reality imo than some of the other characters (another contender for this fic was akaashi but i realized i do NOT have any solid grasp of his character that isnt from fandom interpretation which is a double edged sword tbh)
and honetly i was ok until "If you’re going to take me out, do it in style, you’d said to him, once. So he does." and then i was all of a sudden crying. and the "stripped down to your bare selves" like theyre just being incinerated together and IM- NO WRODS JUST FEELINGS. i think the best thing about this is how unrushed it feels? and it hurts and its aching but they Know. +
and theyve come to some form of peace with it so when it does come, they can focus on eachother and not the end oh im gonna cry again. this was so gracefully put together, thank u for this. i might reread it and cry again, amazing work 😭💕
i didnt touch on it above bc i wanted to do it here but yes!!!! the absolute fucking DESPERATION felt by both parties in that last minute (which idk if you read my tags on the fic proper but 11:59 was originally one segment before i took those last couple paragraphs and made them the very last second ... i think i made the right choice? it rlly does scream FINAL to me) is SO poignant. all of the walls and hidden meanings fall away because in the end theyre all they have left, dying in each others arms at the very end of it all.
this full REVIEW honestly made me so happy to hear esp on a piece i wasnt quite sure how to feel about at first,, thank you 🤝🏻🤝🏻 i hope you have/had a wonderful day!!!!
OK EDIT BC I JUST SAW THIS COMIC SOMEONE MADE ON IG AND ITS NOT THE MOST RELEVANT BUT ANSWERING THIS PUT ME IN A TSUKISHIMA MOOD SO HERE
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Text
Romance 101 (part one)
Todoroki Shouto x Reader
Genre: Aged up Au. Fluff. Slight Angst.
Hey guys! This is my first time posting a fanfic about prince shouto. Katsuki has been pulling me like craaaazy. 😅
Part two will be posted immediately after this. 😄
I apologize for the wrong grammar/pronouns/misspellings.
Please do not copy/plagiarize. ♥️
Lovelots! ENJOY!!!!
You slumped on your desk, not knowing what to write next.
Your editor has been sending you back your drafts because "they lack real feelings" or "it doesn't appeal as a romantic novel at all"
What can you do? You have never been on a date before. You never had a boyfriend.
Sure, you admired guys but since you want to make a name for yourself in the literature industry as soon as you can, you really did not pay attention to stuff like that.
You have been writing mysteries and horror, but your editor says he has to push you out of your comfort zone and also novels about love get authors recognized.
You scratched your head. Damn it.
How can a 21 year old girl like you not know about stuff like this.
"This is impossible."you whispered to yourself.
You took your phone and called your pro-hero best friend, Shouto Todoroki.
It rang three times before he picked up.
(Hello, Y/N?)
"Shoutooooo~ what should I do?"
(You have to be more specific than that, Y/N) You rolled your eyes at his response.
"Are you busy? Let's meet?"
(I still have some work to do right now, but we can meet later.)
"Okay!"
You both agreed for the time and place which will be your place at around 8pm.
You cleaned up a bit, to not be scolded by shouto for not tidying up your place again.
You have known each other since middle school and a lot of girls are always trying to make their way to him.
You're sure he has fallen in love before. You plan to interview him about it and maybe spark some ideas.
He did arrive at 8pm. You chuckled at the thought. He's still as punctual as ever.
"Why are you laughing?" You shook your head, and said it was nothing.
You served him tea and you drank coffee.
"Shouto. I have a question for you." You started out.
"What is is?" He asked, before sipping some tea.
"Have you ever fallen in love?" You asked not staring at the ceiling of your apartment.
A few seconds passed by but he did but answer so your eyes went down to him and he's just staring at you.
"What?" You asked. He placed down his mug of tea.
"Have you?" He returned the question back to you and you just grunted irritated.
"No!"You bluntly answered.
"It's becoming a problem now. My editor wants me to write a romantic novel and I don't know any of that stuff. What am I supposed to do now." You continued to rant.
"Shall I help you then?" Your head turned to face him.
You held his hand excitedly.
"Will you? Really? You will, right?! Yes!!" You jumped excitedly. Your face lighting up.
You were shocked when he pulled you close to him.
"I will make you fall in love then." He smiled at you. You nodded in excitement.
"Okay. Okay! Im excited!" You started imagining the reaction of your editor for writing good stuff and the fans that will ask for your signature.
What a dream.
"You are so dense, Y/N."
"Huh? What? You said something?"
"Nothing. I'm off tomorrow. Would you like to go on a date?" Date? Your editor also mentioned that the things you wrote for a date is more like for buddies rather than being romantic.
"Yes! Will you go on a date with me?" You held his hand once more, blinking.
He slid his hand off your grasp and patted your head.
"That's what I just said." He gave you a smile again. A smile that could warm you up anytime
"Well, I have to get going now. See you tomorrow at the train station. 10am. Okay?"
"Okay. I won't be late!" You raised your right hand. He left for the door. You waved goodbye and closed it behind him.
You placed your hand to your chest. Well, all of that excitement about writing sure did make your heart beat faster, you thought to yourself.
You ended up looking for what clothes to wear on your date so you stayed up really late.
Needless to say, you are late for your first date. You arrived at the station 30 minutes late.
You immediately spotted shouto, you can always spot him immediately.
You held onto his shoulders for support, heavily breathing.
The moment he saw you, he held your arms asking what happened.
"I ran. Sorry. I'm late." You apologized after catching your breath, finally.
He gave you a slight pat on the head.
"I know you'd be late." He smiled again, why does his smile feels so warm.
"Yeah. I stayed up picking an outfit for today. I even wore this dress!" You twirled around to show him.
"It's what you gave me!" You excitedly remarked.
"I knew you'd look beautiful in it." He stared right through your eyes while saying that.
You immediately turned away from his gaze, looking anywhere but his two-colored eyes.
Why do you even feel awkward? This is just Shouto.
He reached out his hand, towards you and in return you gave him confused look.
"Give me your hand, Y/N" Without hesitation you gave him your hand which he held before pulling you beside him.
He gave you another smile. You smiled back at him.
"You really look beautiful today." You avoided his gaze and tried to laugh.
"You already said that."
"Well, I just can't say it enough." His last statement left you speechless, you can't think of anything to say.
You silently walked beside him until you realized you don't know where you're heading.
"B-by the way, where are we going today? Is it the amusement park? My editor said the amusement park is a place where couples go to!" He chuckled.
"What's funny?" He shook his head.
"I think you just called us a couple, Y/N."
You felt your face burn hot and so you turned away.
"You're being an idiot, Shouto. Stop teasing me." He patted your head and apologized.
"You're too cute when you're all flustered for me." You never knew that Shouto has this naughty side of him.
Somehow you want to know more.
So you can write more, right?
"Aish. Can you just tell me where are we going?" trying to sound composed.
"How about we go to the shopping district?" You nodded, you thought its best not to argue. He's helping you after all.
You arrived at the shopping district, it's always a delight for you to come by here.
Since you started writing for that romance novel, you weren't able to even stop by here anymore.
"okay. I'm gonna learn all about romance and stuff today!" You psyched yourself up, feeling determined to know more about everything with shouto.
"There's a newly open Ice cream shop here, would you like to try it?" You nodded and he lead the way, only did you notice again that he was not letting your hand go.
Shouto asked you to sit and wait for him and he returne with one chocolate ice cream, which he handed to you.
"You don't want one?" You asked before taking the first lick.
"Its reeeally good!" You delightfully exclaimed.
You were taken aback when shouto, took a bit from the ice cream. You started blinking in confusion.
"W-why'd you-?"
"Couples share." He explained.
"R-really? What if it wasn't enough?" You asked, tryinh to brush off the thought of shouto's lips brushing on the same ice cream you just ate.
"Do you want more?" he asked, standing up from his seat. You tugged his sleeve stopping him.
"No. Just stay here." He smiled and sat beside you again.
You shared the ice cream with Shouto, taking a mental note of what he said.
After finishing the ice cream, your next stop was a cute souvenir stand.
You were talking casually with Shouto as he explains some stuff about how guys would like to buy cute stuff for their girlfriends.
You nodded, finally taking out the tiny notebook and pen you bought.
"Really. Thank you, shouto, for helping me." You said, while taking notes.
"Let's go?" You looked up at him and smiled. He held out his hand once more to hold yours.
You are really enjoying this day more than you have imagined, you also learned a lot of stuff about what couples do.
Shouto told you that couples usually walk hand by hand, and guys usually place their hand over their partner's shoulder.
You asked why and he just said that it's a way of the couples showing they are indeed a couple.
Couples also share their food to one another sometimes and even feed each other, which you are particularly reluctant when Shouto asked if you wanna try it.
Somehow, thinking about how the food will touch both your lips make your heart all weird and fuzzy.
"Hey." He called you out, immediately taking your attention.
"How about we get a souvenir for this day? This is our first date, after all." You blinked your eyes a few times. That's right. It's a date.
"Y-yeah. Sure! What kind? How about that videogame we always wanted to try?" He chuckled, earning him a frown from you.
"What? It's gonna be fun. We can play it at my place?" He shook his head.
"How about matching items?" He retorted
"Matching items? Do couples do that too?"
"Yes. They do. They even wear matching shirts." You gave him an ohhh and nodded.
And so, your new mission to find a souvenir for today has started.
You were looking around when you saw a cute keychain that looks like Shouto. You let go of his hand and ran to check it out.
"Hey! Shouto!" You turned your head, and saw Shouto surrounded by girls, all gawking at him, touching him.
You felt irritated. What's with all these girls throwing themselves at him.
You're used to seeing Shouto being approached by girls all the time, andnit annoyed you always. You just rolled your eyes.
You stared at the keychain that looked like Shouto and bought it.
"tch. Shouto probably likes all the attention he gets from these girls." You just tried to ignore them and looked at other keychains.
"Is he your boyfriend?" You looked at where the voice came from and there stood a guy smiling at you, your brow raised.
"Sorry. You just sound jealous." You took a step back, blushing.
"J-jealous? Me? You've gotta be kidding. It's just weird that they are basically throwing themselves at him and he's just-"
"Y/N." You looked behind and there is Shouto, with an unusually annoyed expression. You looked at his clothes, its all wrinkled.
"You done with servicing all the girls around you earlier?" Your eyes widened when you realize what you just said. You looked at Shouto who is now staring at you, in shock.
The guy behind laughed again and held your tapped your shoulder.
You're surprised when you felt a force pulling you.
"Don't touch her so casually." Shouto now, has his arm around your waist.
The guy raised both of his hands and apologized. You just gave him a nod and he left.
You looked up at Shouto, which is now frowning directly to where the guy disappeared.
"Hey?" He looked at you, the slight annoyance in his face still evident.
"What are you talking about with that guy?" He asked. You remembered your conversation with the guy, and it made you blush.
You pushed him away slightly and turned away, telling him that its nothing.
Shouto is eyeing you suspiciously, you tried to ignore it, he placed his arm around your waist again.
"Don't leave my side,ever again."
You continued your date with Shouto, as you browsed the other keychains.
Shouto decided to buy matching mobile keychains. He asked for your phone and personally placed it there.
You smiled and thanked him. He smiled back at you. The both of you decided to go home since its almost night already.
He walked you until your door.
"Shouto. I've been wanting to ask. Why do you know so much about couples? You ever had a girlfriend?" You finally asked the question that lingered through your mind since last night
"No. I don't. I just thought of the things I see couples do that I want to do with the person I'm in love with." He gave you a sweet smile.
So, Shouto is in love.
"Oh. Okay then. I'll be going inside. Thank you so much for the help today." You turned around to get inside.
"Hey. Where's my kiss?" You blinked at him.
"Couples end the date with a kiss." He said facing to the side, pointing at his cheek.
You tiptoed and gave him a quick peck before running back to your apartment and closing the door behind you.
Why does it feel like you ran a marathon, your heart is beating too fast.
You shuffled through your bag to find your phone and called Uraraka.
(Hey. Y/N. What's up?)
"I'-im being weird. I think I'm sick."
(Huh? Why? What happened?)
You went on to rant about how you feel today, you are so worried that you might actually be sick.
After your rant you heard a chuckle from the other line.
(Y/N. You're not sick. You're inlove.)
"In love?? In love?! Me? With shouto?"
(Sounds like it. How do you feel when you're with him?When did you start to feel that way?)
"All I know is I just- I'm just really happy when we're together. No matter what it is that we do, I just enjoy being with him."
(You are in love with him!)
"I am? Since when? What? With Shouto?"
(Its okay, You know what. I think Shouto is in love with you too.)
"Y-you really think so?"
(Yeah. I don't think he would've helped you out to that extent if he doesn't, and I really think that he is the type of guy that will not do what he like.)
"W-well? What should I do?"
(Confess!!)
"C-confess? Well...I don't know. What if he doesn't like me? We'll just lose what we have right now."
(That is a risk you have to take. Well- oh! Yes. 'I'll head over there now. Hello? I'm sorry. I've got to go.)
"Oh..its okay. Take care Uraraka. Thanks!" You hang up and laid down the bed
"I'm in love with Shouto." You said loudly.
Hearing it made you blush. You went to your bag and took the mini Shouto keychain you bought.
"When did I start to fall for you?"
Your phone suddenly rang, you checked who called and the name displayed was Shouto's.
You answered,
"H-hello?" You tried not to sound nervous.
(Hey..I just got home.) You smiled.
"That's good to hear."
(You should sleep now. Its late.)
"How about you?"
(I just have some few documents to check)
"You have work? I'm sorry."
(You don't have to say sorry. I really enjoyed today.)
"Me too."
(I'm happy to hear that, y/n. Sleep now. Goodnight.)
"Okay. Goodnight."
You closed your eyes and tried to contain the happiness you feel.
You bit your lips and started to think.
You took out your laptop and started to write.
Since you aren't able to really sleep, you pulled and all-nighter to submit another draft to your editor.
After you finished you laid down the bed and checked your phone.
"Now..I just have to wait for his response."
You decided to try and sleep, successfully you did and woke up a few hours later.
You checked your phone and a few messages and missed calls from your editor. There are also messages from Shouto.
Your editor FINALLY liked your draft.
You're gonna be busy now. You sent a message to Shouto.
"Hey. My editor finally approved my draft and its all thanks to you. I'd like to treat you for it!"
Your hand shook to send the message. It feels like you're asking him on another date.
"I'd love that " was the reply.
You can't help but smile widely. You looked at yourself in the mirror.
"You should confess to him." You told your reflection. You slumped on the bed.
As if it's that easy. You turned and looked up at the ceiling.
"I will confess."
You texted Shouto about the details of your dinner.
He happily obliged for a dinner tomorrow night.
Almost the whole day, all you did was think about him, and the dinner.
Thankfully you are able to distract yourself as well as convey your feelings with writing.
The next night came and you went to the cafe, at exactly 8pm, but Shouto is not there yet and so you waited..
And waited.
"Miss. I'm sorry, but it's already 12 midnight and we have to close up now." You looked up at the nice waitress.
"Oh right. I-I'm sorry." You stood up and bowed. You took your bag and left tears rolling down your eyes uncontrollably.
You checked your phone almost every minute but nothing came from Shouto.
You arrived home, crying.
You talked to yourself, saying that maybe he got stuck for hero work or maybe someone needed some saving or emergency hero work.
In a couple of hours you fell asleep, waking up the next morning already.
You checked your phone and still nothing from Shouto.
You went online to check if there are any news about him and there is..
Written as the headline of a popular news site.
"PRO HERO SHOUTO SEEN ENTERING A HOTEL WITH ANOTHER PRO HERO CREATI"
39 notes · View notes
hungline · 5 years
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cheetohead works wonders
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pairings: junhao, side meanie  genre: fluff, uni au, rated t  warnings: none  words: 2930 
summary: It’s all Mingyu’s fault that Junhui ends up with Minghao’s number, but Minghao doesn’t really seem to mind much when Mingyu bakes him a cake and Wonwoo gives him money for food. His birthday is alright in the end. 
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“I swear to god if you order a PSL, I’m going to castrate you,” Minghao mutters under his breath, half hoping the customer in front of him can’t hear him.
But it’s just Minghao’s extraordinary luck that he does.
“I’m sorry,” the customer replies, their voice a deep, smooth tenor Minghao is pretty sure he’s heard before. “I actually hate pumpkin spice everything, so you’re good.”
Minghao looks up and is immediately floored by how pretty Wen Junhui is up close. He’s half sure his mouth open in shock or something close to it and he hastens to come up with a reply before Junhui thinks he’s weird on top of being murderous.
“Good. Me too,” Minghao manages, sending a death glare over his shoulder when Mingyu snickers at his lame attempt at making normal conversation. “Um, so, what would you like then?”
Junhui purses his lips together in thought as he studies the menu over Minghao's head and Minghao has to tear his gaze away from Junhui's lips before his sleep-deprived brain jumps off the deep end and dooms him to eternal embarrassment. Junhui tuts a soft noise and Minghao meets his gaze, surprised to see Junhui sporting an amused smile.
"I'll just have a caramel macchiato," he murmurs, then very subtly winks. "And your number."
"Sure, that'll beーWait, what?" Minghao sputters, shock clear on his face.
Junhui smiles and shakes his head. "Nevermind, the coffee will do fine by itself."
"Iー" Minghao tries for words and when he finds he can't, he merely nods and continues to ring up Junhui's order.
Thankfully, Minghao doesn't have to tell him his total because Junhui can clearly see it on the cash register and hands over the money, smiling kindly at Minghao when he receives his change. Minghao gulps down the nervous wave of word vomit lodged in his throat and focuses on greeting the only other customer in line. He plasters on a fake smile and tries to be cheerful while taking the order, his expression not even flickering when they finally decide on a pumpkin spice latte.
Minghao grits his teeth and tells them their total, before turning to help Mingyu with the drinks. Generally, Jeonghan would be in charge of this or at least overseeing them as they work, but their shift manager will often be found sleeping in the back room whenever he's present and Minghao has gotten so used to it, he doesn't even question why Jeonghan still works here in the first place. Mingyu is all smiles and tries to prod at Minghao's buttons but his shift will be over soon and the fact he had to come in to cover for Jihoon being sick on his birthday is just shitty all around so absolutely nothing Mingyu could say or do would make today worse than it already is.
So it's with great surprise when Minghao finally returns back to his dorm and collapses on his bed, ignoring Wonwoo who's staring at him with concern from over the top of his latest sci-fi novel, and his phone chimes with a text message from a number he doesn't recognize.
hey, i'm glad you changed your mind
Minghao blinks when he realizes that the text is in Mandarin, and as far as Minghao knows, his mom hasn't changed her number so who could this possibly be?
sorry i think you have the wrong number
"Hey, hyung, this random number just texted me. Do you know who it might be?" Minghao tries to not let his nerves bleed into his voice, but Wonwoo wouldn't judge him for being a little freaked out over someone he doesn't know texting him.
"What's the number? I'll see if it pops up in my contacts," Wonwoo murmurs, phone in hand now.
Minghao doubts that it will, considering that texting gives Wonwoo anxiety sometimes and the person is Chinese, but it's a Seoul number so he recites the digits anyway and freezes when another text comes in.
oh, is this not the cute barista from starbucks then?
Minghao groans and buries his face into his pillow. He's going to murder Mingyu the next time he sees him.
"Oh," Wonwoo says from his side of the room. "That's Jun's number. He's my chem partner. I didn't know you knew him."
"I don't," Minghao grumbles, pushing himself into a sitting position as he ponders over a reply to the new text. "I think your boyfriend gave him my number."
Wonwoo doesn't stutter when he replies, but the blush spreading across his face is easy to see. "Mingyu is not my boyfriend."
"Not yet," Minghao adds on before looking down at his phone again. "Anyway, thanks for your help, hyung."
"Yeah. Sure thing," Wonwoo mutters, furiously tapping something into his phone before dropping it on his bed and returning to his novel again.
youre going to have to be a little more specific than that
Minghao leaves his phone on his pillow and drags his backpack onto his bed, rifling through it until he's found his math homework. He forgets about the weird texts from one of the most handsome guys on campus and throws himself into statistics. He's gotten through three problems when his phone chimes again.
um, kinda short, sorta? pretty eyes and brown hair.
Minghao rolls his eyes and is about to respond when another text comes in.
oh! he threatened to castrate me if i ordered a psl
Minghao groans and hastens to reply before any more can be said.
ok yeah im him  howd you know to text me in mandarin tho
Statistics isn't so interesting anymore, not that it ever really was, to be honest. Minghao's a good student though so he always finds a way to focus on homework, no matter how boring the subject. This however, warrants a great excuse to put off his math homework for later.
you said to, on the cup [photo]
Minghao clicks on the photo and groans aloud when he recognizes Mingyu's handwriting. It isn't as shitty as Wonwoo's (honestly nobody's handwriting is as ineligible as Wonwoo's), but Mingyu's isn't so pretty either. Wonwoo looks up from his book to pin Minghao with a questioning gaze but returns to his novel when Minghao shakes his head and frowns down at his phone.
did my shitty cheetohead coworker hand you the drink
The response is instant and Minghao pales when he realizes that Junhui must be waiting for him to reply.
yeah
Another groan is let out into the air by Minghao and Wonwoo stares at him again, his gaze conveying do you want to talk about it or will you shut up? 
hey im sorry i never actually wrote that
This entire thing is embarrassing and Minghao wishes he hadn't been guilted by Jihoon to cover his shift on his birthday of all days. Wonwoo stands up from his bed and disappears into their kitchen, which prompts Minghao to follow him because Wonwoo can't cook for jack shit and shouldn't ever be trusted to be alone in a kitchen, no matter how small or inadequate the kitchen is.
Minghao makes them sandwiches and Wonwoo digs out a bag of shrimp chips that went stale last week and they eat quietly before returning to their beds.
"Hey, you'll be okay for an hour or two right? I have to head out to pick something up from Mingyu's," Wonwoo asks, one arm already in his jacket.
"Yeah, I'll be fine. No worries, hyung," Minghao mumbles, his mind back on his statistics homework again.
"'Kay. Be back soon, try and clean the place up a little because I'm pretty sure I'll come back with Mingyu," Wonwoo murmurs, an apologetic smile on his lips as he digs his wallet out and drops a few bills onto Minghao's lap. "Here. In case you want pizza or takeout while I'm gone."
"Bye, hyung. Text me when you're on your way back."
Wonwoo leaves shortly after that and Minghao is left alone in their dorm with no company except his math homework and his phone that just chimed with another message again.
oh, well this is awkward i'm sorry for bothering you then
Minghao is pretty sure he's going to regret this but he sighs and rolls his eyes, his text already halfway ready to send.
nah its fine i was considering putting my number on your cup anyway i guess mingyu just beat me to it really
Junhui's next response takes a while, but Minghao considers it worth it when he reads it and bursts into loud laughter.
mingyu is cheetohead, right?
So maybe today hasn't been that bad, but still, Minghao kind of wishes he was with his mom right now so she could bake him a cake and serve his favorite ice cream with it as they watch horror movies and laugh at how bad they are. Then they'd go out for actual dinner at that Chinese restaurant he adores for no real apparent reason other than that their food is almost as good as his grandma's. When they'd get back home, it'd be to more cake and ice cream and maybe another horrible horror movie before they go off to bed.
mingyu is cheetohead yes
Minghao decides to order takeout from the Chinese place nearby who's noodles are always too greasy but it's cheap and Minghao wants Chinese food, damn it. After he's done ordering, he does some more of his statistics homework and cleans up a little, which translates into he cries over stats and doesn't clean for shit while he waits for food.
guess i'll have to thank cheetohead next time i see him, which is, wouldn't you know it, right now!
It takes Minghao a minute to realize what Junhui just said, but by then his food is here and he hastens to open the door. Yixing smiles at him and Minghao hands over all the bills Wonwoo gave him, not caring that the tip is way more than what's expected. Wonwoo does the same thing whenever he orders coffee while Mingyu is working so if Minghao wants to generously tip the cute takeout guy, he'll do just that.
why are you with cheetohead right now
Minghao doesn't have a moment to rest because as soon as his text to Junhui has sent, Wonwoo has texted him.
Hey, I'm on my way back. Did you order food?
hao: yeah, chinese takeout
wonu: Did you tip Yixing again?
hao: you tip cheetohead all the time
wonu: Mingyu needs the money. Anyway, I hope you ordered enough for four.
hao: youre in luck cause i definitely did not
wonu: I'll buy some more on my way back then. See you soon. Please, clean up the place a little.
hao: see you
Minghao almost bowls over with laughter when he realizes that Wonwoo immediately knew who he meant when he called Mingyu cheetohead. His phone chimes again and luckily, it's a text from Junhui this time.
wonwoo kinda coerced me into coming with him to cheetohead's place and i guess we're heading back to yours now??
cute barista: i guess ill see you soon then
Well shit, Minghao thinks.
Cleaning up doesn't take much time, but Minghao shoves his takeout into the microwave anyway to keep it semi-warm as he sweeps the dorm and pushes all of Wonwoo's things onto his side of the room. He considers mopping, but it's only Mingyu...and Junhui so yeah, he probably should mop, but then he remembers Seungcheol broke their mop last month and still hasn't gotten them a new one so he hopes that wet wipes will do for now.
He picks up a few of Wonwoo's novels in the kitchen and bathroom and puts them on top of the elder's desk. He moves back to his own bed and packs up his math homework for later. He's just closed the zipper on his backpack when the lock on the door twists and Wonwoo is standing in the doorway, covering most of what Minghao can see of Mingyu and Junhui.
"Oh, you did clean up. Nice. Thank you," Wonwoo nods, a grateful smile on his face as he lifts up the bags in his hands. "I brought more takeout and that ice cream you like."
"Thanks," Minghao blinks and nods at him, not really knowing what to do as Wonwoo continues to stand awkwardly in the doorway.
Wonwoo steps inside then and Mingyu steps in after him, holding the door open for Junhui who's holding a fucking cake in his arms. The door closes behind Junhui and Minghao struggles to say something.
"Whaー" Minghao starts to say, but he's cut off by Mingyu launching himself into the birthday song while Wonwoo and Junhui hasten to join in as well.
By the end of the song, Minghao is undoubtedly blushing and Mingyu is hollering with laughter as Wonwoo steps forward and kisses the crown of Minghao's head, only making Minghao feel even more flustered. Mingyu steps forward as well but then stops when Minghao pins him with a murderous glare.
"Don't you dare try kissing me, Kim Mingyu. I'm very pissed off at you."
"Why? 'Cause I gave a hot guy your number? Come on, Minghao! I baked your cake, just let me kiss your cheek or something!" Mingyu whines.
"No," Minghao crosses his arm, firm on his decision until Junhui steps forward and passes the cake to Mingyu.
"Can I kiss you then?" Junhui asks, a timid smile on his handsome face.
Minghao blinks. "Um."
"Go for it, Junnie-yah," Wonwoo mumbles from the kitchen where he's heating up Minghao's takeout. "Doesn't look like Hao's going to give you much of an answer anyway."
Junhui nods and crowds into Minghao's space and Minghao is helpless to the pull Junhui has on him. Junhui leans in and very quickly presses his lips to Minghao's before darting away to safety while Mingyu starts whooping at them.
"Shut the fuck up, Cheetohead," Minghao spits through his teeth.
Junhui giggles and Minghao forgets about his irritation with Mingyu momentarily while he flushes again and avoids eye contact with Junhui. Mingyu coos at them again and the irritation comes back. Minghao takes a menacing step forward in Mingyu's direction, but Wonwoo is back in the room, candles and a lighter in hand as he pops the lid off the cake and arranges the candles atop it before lighting them.
"Happy birthday, Hao. Make a wish," Wonwoo murmurs, a hand on Minghao's back as he pushes him in front of the cake.
Mingyu smiles and nods at him, proud of the blue icing and white letters on the cake he holds that proclaim it Minghao's birthday. Minghao sighs and blows out the candles, smiling when Mingyu starts whooping again and almost drops the cake so Junhui ushers them all into the kitchen where Mingyu can set the cake down where it'll be safe for the most part.
They eat the cake with ice cream and Minghao decides he'll try and call his mom more often as they settle back into the boys' sleeping space and Wonwoo drags out the tv they never use. Mingyu hands Wonwoo Minghao's favorite shitty horror movie and then hides in Wonwoo's chest for the entirety of the film as Minghao finds himself nodding off on Junhui's shoulder.
Junhui nudges him awake sometime later and Minghao is mortified to find he drooled on him while asleep.
"I am so sorry, do you want to borrow a shirt or something?" Minghao hastens to say, keeping his voice down to not wake up Mingyu and Wonwoo who lay passed out on the floor, cuddling.
Minghao should probably be laughing at the fact that he was right and Mingyu is most definitely the little spoon, but he ignores that for apologizing to Junhui instead.
Junhui laughs and shakes his head, a hand on Minghao's shoulder to keep him from standing up just yet. "Nah, it's okay. Don't worry about it. I actually wanted to ask you something."
"Uh, sure. What is it?" Minghao gulps and settles himself back down, fingers twisted together in his lap.
"Well, I was wondering if you'd like to go the movies with me sometime? Jigsaw is out right now and I heard the plot is pretty shitty and that seems to be your kind of thing considering how many b-rated horror movies we watched tonight," Junhui asks, a nervous smile on his face.
"Oh, um, Iー" Minghao stutters.
"He'd love to go," Mingyu mutters from the floor, making both Minghao and Junhui jump and bump their heads together.
"Ow," Minghao groans, rubbing his head as he glares at Mingyu who ignores it and turns over in Wonwoo's arms before falling asleep again. "I guess we're going then, yeah."
Junhui is also rubbing his head when he asks, "You sure? I don't want you to feel obligated to go because Cheetohead said so."
Minghao snickers at the nickname they'd adopted for Mingyu and nods. "Yeah, I'm sure. Let's go on Wednesday, I don't work that day. So no Cheetohead to tell me what to do!"
"Awesome," Junhui says with a visible excitement clear in his voice and Minghao smiles at it, a little flustered but willing to test out whatever is happening between them. "Happy birthday, by the way. Sorry I didn't get you a gift or something."
"That's fine," Minghao waves the worry away. "I hate getting gifts."
Junhui nods, smiling calmly now. "Still, happy birthday."
"Thanks," Minghao murmurs, before leaning in and kissing Junhui briefly on the lips again.
48 notes · View notes
asapncah · 5 years
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hello  my  sweet  darling  angels  .  it  is  me  ,  lenny  ,  and  i  am  quite  truiy  holding  back  tears  as  i  write  this  because  i  don’t  think  i’ve  ever  missed  anything  as  much  as  i  have  missed  moreau  ...  anyways  !  enough  rambling  lenny  ,  get  to  the  true  queen  here  :  noah  .  below  the  cut  is  my  Novel™️  about  my  dear  noella  de  luca  ,  otherwise  known  as  my  favourite  muse  ever  .  if  you  like  what  you  see  down  below  ,  just  LIKE  this  post  or  hmu  and  we  can  create  magic  !
˗ˏˋ ✧ ariana grande • twenty-three • cisfemale . look ! it's noella de luca from apartment 4B ! apparently , she moved into moreau apartments 1 year ago and is a waitress . rumor has it, they can be quite possessive — good thing they’re also adventurous , hey ? i hear they’re known as the hedonist of the building . 
↘︎ 𝕓𝕒𝕤𝕚𝕔𝕤 !
given name : noella sofie de luca
nicknames : noah, no
age : twenty3
birthdate : march 18, 1995
hometown : keremeos, british columbia
occupation : waitress & dog walker
↘︎ 𝕙𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕪 !
so i will be trying to sum up noah’s history in a few bullet points here , cause ya girl tends to ramble far too much , but if you’d like to dive a lil deeper , you can check out the bio that i wrote for her right here !
so her parents separated when noah was quite young but they remained close friends and business partners of the campground they purchased and renovated in their 20s
willa remained in their cozy home in keremeos to primarily raise noah and handle the financial end of things while antonio permanently moved onto the campground as a year-round mangager
noah visited her father practically ever other weekend, mastering the wilderness and reenacting snow white scenes 
there is honestly no big sob story here. she had a wonderful childhood filled with chasing butterflies, jumping in leaf piles, cuddling with her pets, and laughing with her parents
keremeos will always be her home, but by the time she was 20, noah yearned to escape the confines of her small town. her wanderlust was an itch that no amount of trips to the mountains could scratch, so she set her sights on something bigger: europe
with the help of her parents, noah saved up for the trip of a lifetime, which she embarked on shortly before her 21st birthday and didn’t return from for many months
though she ventured all across the european countryside, much of her trip was spent in italy as she reconnected with her roots and fell in love with the country, particularly florence and pisa
she paid her dues working in a small italian cafe in florence owned by an adorable old woman that reminded her of her own grandmother, and noah made italy her home for many weeks, only returning home due to missing her parents and a dwindling bank account
↘︎ 𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕖𝕟𝕥 !
vancouver became her home shortly after her 22nd birthday, a handful of months after she returned from europe. after experiencing the foreign continent’s beauty, keremeos felt small and stifling to her. the small town held no feeling of intrigue or adventure anymore so she made the big move to vancouver in the hopes of finding something more
the big city held a sort of vibrance for her, having visited a handful of times with her mother for big shopping trips and weekend getaways, and somehow the small town girl melted into the big city easily
she moved into moreau apartments upon finding a listing in the newspaper and honestly has never been happier
due to her absolute inability to sit still and be bored, noah works 3 jobs in vancouver : waitress, dog walker, and pole dance instructor
waitress : she serves in an adorable, cozy local restaurant down granville street close to the apartment building, mostly working morning or late night shifts
dog walker : to fuel her love for animals, noah’s gained a reputation in the neighbourhood as one of the most reliable dog walkers. you can often catch her with a small herd of hounds at any time of day, handling the tangling leashes like a pro
pole dance instructor : she found a studio shortly after her move to vancouver, wanting a physical and creative outlet for herself. she fell in love with pole dancing after going outside of her comfort zone and mastered the skill quickly, promptly bringing the owner to offer her a part time job instructing a beginner’s class on the weekends
↘︎ 𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕣 !
aesthetics : freshly picked peaches. crisp mountain air. old denim ripped and stained from wild adventures. perfectly painted nails. thriving house plants. the scent of fresh coffee and sweet lotion. journals inked with stories and rhymes. rose gold jewelry. caramel waves blowing in the wind. hazy rooms and endless laughter.
notable traits : passionate, possessive, adventurous, charming, optimistic, honest, naive, self-indulgent, reckless
best described as a freshly blossomed rose, grown in the canadian wilderness and weathered by the elements, with blushing petals beautiful enough to draw you in and thorns sharp enough to protect herself.
willa and antonio raised their daughter to have a strong head on her shoulders. their independence, wild hearts, and honesty passed down to noah easily. she’s certainly her father’s daughter in terms of her curiosity, need for adventure, and determination, but her mother shines through noah’s feminist independence, brutal honesty, and passion for creativity.
in terms of how noah’s young experiences changed her constant state of wonderment as a child, she’s definitely grown tougher and carries herself with an obvious sense of responsibility to protect herself. she likes to believe the walls she’s built to protect herself while exploring a foreign country stand strong and tall, but she often falls prey to charming smiles, trusting words, and careful eyes — it’s something she’s constantly working on, always chastising herself whenever she falls too easily
at first sight, she’s a small girl with a big mouth. her personality purposefully magnified to hide the fact that she’s afraid of getting attached. her sailor’s mouth is a surprise to most, along with her openness with her sexuality and honesty when it comes to just about anything she has a strong opinion on ( feminism, equal rights, lgbtq+ issues, animal cruelty, etC )
but for better or for worse, noah generally prides herself for having hardly a care in the world. many of her days just go with the flow and she’s not worried about her future — the future is today, as she likes to say to convince her friends to join her on one of her many adventures
one of the greatest friends one could ask for because of her strong loyalty, charming smile, generosity, and taste for adventure ( it also helps that, thanks to her green thumb, this one grows the best weed in moreau ajklsh ) she distracts others from developing too much curiosity about her own story by being an incredibly good listener and shoulder to cry on
↘︎ 𝕤𝕦𝕞𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕪 !
this was a rollar coaster and a half. i know. i’m sorry. akjlshd please love me i rlly tried to not let it get out of hand
tl;dr : small town girl from the mountains, raised by two loving, separate parents, who found her freedom and passion for life in europe before moving to vancouver to keep that spark alive. works 3 jobs to keep herself busy and because she just can’t make her mind on what she wants to do ( waitress, dog walker, pole dancing instructor ) she will fight anyone who crosses her or her friends, much to the surprise of most, and genuinely tries to find the best in everyone. 
first things that come to mind when thinking of noah : peaches, house plants ( wink wink ) , fluffy dogs and purring cats, creamy iced coffee, leather bound journals, and a lust for adventure.
as for connections, i want them aLL but i listed a few right here for y’all to check out. if any of those catch your eye / you’re down to brainstorm, hmu through tumblr ims / discord or like this and i’ll come to you!!!
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Fangirl Asks...
I know, I know.  This has taken me 5-ever to complete.  Thank you to @bbcshipper , @elasticmonk , @fourteen-teacups   @thatginchygal and @like-an-officer-and-a-sergeant for tagging me in this fandom questionaire.  I really enjoyed doing it, and got kinda loquacious with my response.  This is definitely worthy of a Reaad More break!
@bbcshipper asked:
1. How much do your real life friends/family know about your fandom life?  My family knows, or think they know.  Friends, nope.  They know I’m a fan, but have no idea of the extent of my madness.  I hold back with “normals.”
2. Have you ever embarrassed yourself fangirling? I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.
3. What’s a recurring theme of fanfictions of you OTP that you find annoying/dislike?  Live and let live, and all, but I avoid nun smut.
4. What are some prompts/ideas you might want explored more in fanfic? (asking this one for some ideas, hope that’s okay!)  I love  fluff, of course, but I really enjoy fics that explore the real-world, ordinary problems and compromises that come with marriage.
5. What’s the meaning behind your tumblr name?  There’s an Everly Brother’s song of the same name, and my Grandmother used to sing it to me.  I commissioned an artist to make a stained-glass yellowbird and its become a sort of talisman.  
6. Favorite moment(s) with your OTP?  The hand kiss, the misty road, “What’s she like?” the so-sexy almost kiss in the tent, Teddy’s birth (I know. Don’t @ me. I complain about the story arc, but I’m not heartless)
7. How far would you travel to meet your OTP in real life?  If I were to meet them IRL, I’d have to pretend I was someone else.  I’m not good with worlds colliding.
8.Do you have a playlist for your OTP? (again, looking for ideas!)  Sorry, not really.  I’m terrible with playlists.  There was an old Youtube video featuring Pink and Nate Ruess of “Just Give Me a Reason” that gets to me.
9. What about your real life would shock your OTP?  Shelagh might find it odd that Patrick looks remarkably like Mr. Birdy.
10. What have you learned from being a part of the fandom?  I’ve learned a great deal about how different people cope with anxieties.  
11. What’s the best thing about your fandom?  My friends.  
@elasticmonk  asked:
1. What was your first fandom?  Call the Midwife is my first true-blue, throw-yourself-into-it fandom.  
2. What’s your favorite thing about your main fandom now?  People get me.
3. What is your main fandom?  Turnadette (sorry--do people actually have others?  jk)
4. Who is your favorite character of all time?  I can’t think of one, honestly, but I’ll say Molly Weasley, because of the next question.
5. What three quality’s do you think you share with your favorite character (of anything)?   Molly Weasley is devoted to her family, not afraid to love them and not let them get away ith nonsense,  and brave enough to stand up for right.
6. Where would you like to see your OTP vacation and why?  I’d like to see them at the beach in Torquay.  If Shelagh could wear the yellow swimsuit with the white band across the top, that would be ideal.  In fact, if they could live out any of my fics, I’d be a very happy bird.
7. What’s your favorite gif from your fandom?  I don’t know how to post an annotated gif mid-post, so I’ll just describe it.  It involves tiptoes, dancing, and a giant hand sprawled across a tiny back.
8. What’s your favorite picture from your fandom?  NGL
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9. Who was your first OTP?  I guess I shipped Jo and Prof Bhaer as a kid?  
10. When did you start your main fandom?  I lurked through 2013 and into 2014.  I was very wary of the internet world, so when I finally identified myself, my palms were sweaty!  (My very first post was my first fic ever!)
11. AU or canon complaint fanfiction?  Canon-compliant, but I will read AU if it’s done in a way that sheds a new light on the characters.
@thatginchygal  asked:
1.  What was the first fanfic you ever read?  I can’t remember the first Call the Midwife fic I ever read.  It was all such a blur!! But...I think the first ever fic-like thing I ever read was a published Star Trek novel by A.C. Crispin, entitled Ishmael.  It was a mash-up of Star Trek and Here Come the Brides. So, so right.
2.  What was the first fanfic you ever wrote (if any)? Not Listening
3.  Your last text message is the title of your next fanfic.  What is it (and a brief summary)?
“I got you a glow stick.”  It was for a candlelight march.  I wonder...now i may have to do some research into marches in London in the early 1960′s...Or reinterpret that text for an altogether different purpose...
4.  Do you keep your fandom interests a secret from your RL family/friends?
No, it’s not a secret.  At least, not generally.  My feeling is, I have nothing to be embarrassed about, so if they want to see, then go look.  If they have a problem with anything they see, that would be on them.  Fortunately, their respect for my  right to have something just for myself--added to a little bit of fear of what they might find--keeps them away.
5.  What is one of your favorite scenes between your OTP?  I think Im going to pick the almost kiss in the tent.  It’s SoMarried!! and very sexy.  But you know, add about 100 more scenes and I’m good.
6.  Do you have a playlist for your OTP?  Sorry, no.
7.  Why do I suck at coming up with these questions?? You’re better than I am!
8.  Would you want to live in the ‘world’ of your favorite fandom?  Maybe visit?  Probably not.  I’m content to watch from here.
9.  What is your favorite piece of fandom merchandise? Oh, this is so easy.  I have the companion books to the series, a boatload of Nonnatun Holiday cards, my Yellowbird stained glass statue, but what I love the most are the crocheted Yellowbird my friend Soph made me, and the Yellowbird Christmas card Mushy sent me this year.  It’s framed!
In the fall of 2015, a group of lucky Nonnatuns went to a CtM panel that featured Heidi Thomas, Stephen McGann, Jenny Agutter, Emerald Fennell and Dame Pippa Harris.  A week later I recieved this promotional post card in the mail:
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I have to admit, I was a little teary when I saw it, mostly because I was so touched that in the midst of their own fun, two friends had me in their thoughts.  They told the panelists about me, and how their show had helped to build friendships.  Everyone signed messages to me on the back.  I’m pretty sure HT’s message included an invite to tea.
10.  Have you ever drifted away from a fandom only to be sucked back in (perhaps by a new season or change of storyline)? Not really.
11.  Do you prefer canon-compliant fanfic or AUs?  Definitely Canon-compliant.
@fourteen-teacups asked:
1.  How did you come to join your first online fandom? Blame Call the Midwife.
2.  If your first fangirling obsession pre-dates access to fandoms, what was the show and/or your OTP?  In college, a friend was a huge Start Trek fan.  By default, I got interested (alas, not obsessed).
3.  If your OTP came to visit you in your town (in present day) where would you take them?  We have a lot of parks suitable for camping.  I could take them there to see a lovely site, then bring them back to my house for a nice cuppa and fresh sheets.
4.  What three things do you have in common with your favorite character?  
5.  What prop would you most like to have from your favorite show? (I borrowed this question from a behind the scenes CtM interview.)  The photograph of the cricket team on the surgery mantle and Shelagh’s long-lost sunflower brooch. 
6.  Same question but for an article of clothing.  I want the Tan Overcoat of Love.
7.  Where would you like to see your OTP go on vacation and why?  See Elasticmonk q6
8.  Do you have a) multiple OTPs; or are you b) a one-OTP-at-a-time person?  I have a great appreciation for many OTP’s, but for me, there can be only one.
9.  In question 8, if you answered a) list your top three OTPs; if you answered b) what was the OTP you dropped for your current one?
10.  If you lurked in your fandom before joining (or even if you didn’t), is there a fellow fan whom you consider “famous” in the fandom that makes you fangirl whenever they comment on your posts?  I was desperate for @this-unruly-heart to notice me!  One day she messaged me asking if I was the one who wrote a "Letters” fic that she loved. 
11.   Was there a particular person who was especially welcoming and/or helpful when you first joined your current fandom?  Many of the Nonnatuns of old that were supportive of my early efforts have moved on to other things, but the boost they gave to my confidence was immeasurable. Oh, and Sarge, too!
@like-an-officer-and-a-sergeant  asked:
1. When did you start taking part in fandom(s)?  I dipped my toe into the Star Trek fandom back in the late 1980′s.  A dear friend was a huge fan, and her enthusiam was contagious.  Sadly, she died in December 1988, and I had to leave fandoms behind.  Then, in 2005 we moved away from the very close world we had built, and I was lonely.  I started to look around for period dramas to watch and stumbled upon North and South.  I was unbelievably grateful it wasn’t the old Civil War mini-series, and I started to read everything I could find.  I came across C-19, and found fanfic as I now know it.  As much as I enjoyed it though, I wasn’t ready to participate as anything other than a lurker until Call the Midwife came along.
2. Which fandoms? Sorry, I think I answered that in th eprevious response
3. How long did you stay? Ibid
4. Did you write fanfics?  Yes, although sometimes I need a kick in the butt to make sure it doesn’t become a past tense thing.
5. Any memorable funny event in your fandoms?  So many ridiculous things have happenned here.  Hiatus Challenges, Limericks (!!!), Twitter responses (remember when HT used to answer our questions? Flat/house! Names!), Nonnatun Holiday Card Exchanges...It seems that the funniest things would come out of nowhere.
6.  Did you get long-time friends? (even as Real People)?  Definitely.  There are people I have met here that I feel I know as well or better than people IRL.  And one poor soul has had to bear meeting me in person and somehow still continues to be my friend.
So here are my questions.  
How has fangirling made an impact in your life?
What makes fangirling most worthwhile to you?
What have you learned about yourself by being a part of a fandom?
I tag: @elasticmonk @thatginchygal @fourteen-teacups @like-an-officer-and-a-sergeant  @lovetheturners @hihereami  @pellucidthings @gabolange  @missouiser @ilovemushystuff @it-is-bugs @crinklybrownleaves @majsmom   @missbergmans @miss-ute @snoopctm @mg-bsl381 @turnt4turnadette @cooldoyouhaveaflag @eatapinkwafer @weshallc @westcoastwilma @skerri @beatrix-franklin @alice1nwond3rland @sincerelygeertje @silentkw @flyingnonny @anamarialujan @purple-roses-words-and-love @bloghey131313 @poplarpatience @soibhanmannion @kaguyahime1224
and anyone else who sees this. My fingers are tired.
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