#IM SORRY I CANT DO TGIS I JUST.

[jabberwockprince]

every follower and mutual who found me because of my wtnv art, wake tf up i just got to triptych for the hundredth time and im having intense kevin feelings again and im about to do nothing but draw him for the next few weeks

[i-am-thevoid]

genuinely uncomfortable with people being attracted to me lately esp when I KNOW they arent seeing me in the way I want like please fuck off and leave me alone

[purplehoodie09]

I cqnnot get tgis out of my mind right now it is 7:21 am LOOK AT TYEM

hybrids <3

[misterradio]

house of leaves has my mind blown at such random stuff. page 97 has a check mark in the corner.

[i'll add random other musings below]

notation 127 references a real book which is even on archive dot org..!!! and it says to check out a diagram But you need to log in to view the book. AAGHH!!

page 119 it is now time to be confused on how to read this 👍

nevermind the box is just all one long footnote. and the backwards box is like a reversal of the previous box.

"this is what happens when you hurry in a maze. the faster you go, the worse you are entangled"..... UH OH !

the footnotes along the sides are just BUILDING NAMES?? and then ARCHITECTS ??????? i do really like the cyclical nature of these notes, one makes u flip thru several pages and then you have to turn the book upside down and flip back thru the same pages. the last note in this series is right at the 2nd page in this sequence but along the side. makes me think of. a spiral ::-) makes me smile.

im just now realizing some of these notation marks are letters instead of numbers....X appears several times (that footnote is on page 107) but theres also like, LL (but if the first L was reversed)? and this one is F (page 122). not sure if there is a meaning here

page 127 guys this is scary

(page 151) "I was sorry to hear he disappeared. Do you know what happened to him?" HE WHAT?????

(page 620) okay i decided to read some more letters from (checks her name) Pelafina and. this is one is. ::-(

okay i finished her letters and wah........... sad. i wonder what was the one jewelry johnny kept from her.

(page 154) i already forgot what these different names were for ermmm lol. great hall and antechamber. i forgor

(page 159) the fact that the stairwell was around 13 miles long for Roberts' crew and then for Navdison its 100 feet.... LOLLLL F--K the explorers in particular

(page 192) YAY JED and wax !!! i never thought id be so so happy to see them again. yayyy. but now getting out is the next obstacle.. F--K OFF I CANT BELIEVE HOW SOONI SPOKE f--k this book

SICKENIINNNNGGGG!!!!!!!

(page 263) I LOVE THAT there are occasional emails from people after the 1st printing and someone says "what was all that crazy stuff in the introduction about guns and blood?" THATS WHAT IM SAYIINNGGGGG

(page 272) this makes me think that the stairwell is analogous to a throat..

(page 305) once again. witnessing the staircase lengthen and groan. makes me think it is literally swallowing navy.

(page 318) im so so glad wax survived YAY

(page 320) this made me get up and start pacing and smiling. like. this house wants navy so bad. SO BAD

(page 326) JOHNNY BECOMES SELF AWARE THAT HE A FICTIONAL CHARACTEr (scary)

btw i did find ouf the letters used in notations are actually symbols bc there is a photo of a graph of them on the inner cover. i dont actualy know how to look up what they are called at all tbh. theyre like. aircraft related.

(page 342) bruh this is new and scary. fhe house's shifting horror now extending beyond the imposible hallways but into the main house ...... what the......

(page 397) everyone in this book is so FREUDIAN !!!! like all the psychology is so fruedian i think.

(page 402) im so fascinated by these dream scenes i didnt expdct this book to really have a dream scene but there u go ^^__^^ im sad the promised third dream is missing......

OH YEAH BABY WE ACTUALLY HAVE A MINOTAUR PRESENT also in a dream scene. EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR A MINOTAUR PRESENCE

(page 406) this is some like. reverse tma thing. you know how in tma everyone who gives a statement to jon has nightmare of him. this is like what if jon did something to absolve everyone of their nightmares. huh. (also i havent gotten past this part i dont even know what navidson Does back in the house yet.........)

OH I JUST REALIZED THE SKETCHES IN APPENDIX II ARE JOHNNY'S. he mentioned doodling on any scraps of paper he had like mail and i was like heh. just like in the appendix. OH WAIT

i love that tgis chapter does NOT end in a period and ends with an open-ended sentence that segues into the next chapter. thats so neat ::-) idek if navy is still alive like wtf i dont know yet SHHH shhhh

(page 425) the dread this is imbuing in me. the floors tilting slightly wherever navy goes to guide him along. youre at the mercy of this house now..

(page 465) WHAT THE ? THIS BOOK IS WITHIN THISBBOOK? (navidson has a book titled house of leaves) WHAT?

(page 468) this desolation almost made me cry somehow . maybe logcially its not the worst thing thats happened in this book but the nothingness is crushing

this part makes u turn the book around a lot and i really did get a sense of dizziness while reading bc i realized i didnt know whether the text i was reading was really along the bottom of the page or what... also im still so tripped up that they mention this book by name, even say how many pages it has, and that 'maybe some of the pages are hard to read'. bro.

the song on page 479 is apparently "when johnny comes marching home" which i had to look up but thats where the tune of that song the ants go marching one by one comes from???? u learn something new every day.

i like that the footnote on page 488 is another of those aeronautic symbols (theres a chart of some of them on a collage in the back) and this one means "heavily injured, need a doctor"...............

(page 527) "and whenever she laughs the notes sing a call to Victory" STARTS BAWLING

okay i done YAYYYYYYYYY AAAUUUUUHHHHHHHHHGGGGHHHHHHHHHH i have yet to finish the appendices....

[angelsmanifesto]

venr heavy vent idk where else to put tgis

Vvv unstable new alter btw i think i was specifically formed to hold thks shit im sorry for putting tgis here

i am getting worse i am getting worse i am getting so so kuch worse

i bleed i hurrt i hurt so much i cant proewtend ro be fine anymore i cant

my brain screams olease please please be yhere but i am aloone n thats all i deaerve

i dont dwsrvre notging anymore holy fuck

thied fucking period in a month in a montg

I cant do this i want to die

i juust

i tgink people would be genuinely better off without me chat like i dont lnow anything anymore

Im useless

im a fialruee im gonna fail school

im losing my independence im losing my ability to care for myself im tetrifyed im so so svared i just wanna hear if gets betteer please

[myownprivatcidaho]

spending time with neices and nephews makes me Think. maybe i DO want kids im just so scared ill fucking suck and also my energy just drains so easily and im so scared ill give up on them or that ill have them and then suddenly flip and decide i dont want them

[uglypastels]

How hard do i need to punch my screen for the other person to feel it?

[whatsjungkooking]

😤1-100

1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?- Spotify, also what the heck is pandora

2. is your room messy or clean?- hmmm in the middle

3. what color are your eyes?- brown

4. do you like your name? why?- yes, i dont really know why I just like the sound of it, i think i like the sound of my normal name rather than the shortened version 

5. what is your relationship status?- in a relationship 

6. describe your personality in 3 words or less- meme- positive?- bit awkward 

7. what color hair do you have?- brown

8. what kind of car do you drive? color?- I don’t drive...yet

9. where do you shop?- shop for food? clothes? for food lidl and tesco, for clothes mainly h&m

10. how would you describe your style?- mainly like smart casual, sometimes quite preppy other times i try to be cool 

11. favorite social media account- tumblr

12. what size bed do you have?- single

13. any siblings?- two older brothers

14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?- s.korea honestly it is so beautiful and i felt so comfortable there

15. favorite snapchat filter?- at the moment the bunny one with the glasses

16. favorite makeup brand(s)- innis free 

17. how many times a week do you shower?- 4 times??

18. favorite tv show?- greys anatomy

19. shoe size?- 5

20. how tall are you?- 5 ft. 6

21. sandals or sneakers?- trainers ;)

22. do you go to the gym?- nah i exercise at home

23. describe your dream date- beach beach beach

24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?- under £2

25. what color socks are you wearing?- white with lil yellow ducks on 

26. how many pillows do you sleep with?- three

27. do you have a job? what do you do?- counter assistant in sainsburys now :)))) this is my 5th job im ._.

28. how many friends do you have?- quite a few??

29. whats the worst thing you have ever done?- i dont really know tbh

30. whats your favorite candle scent?- i dont have candlesssss

31. 3 favorite boy names- ross hehe- tobias- eeeeeeee idk

32. 3 favorite girl names- hazel- juliette- eeeeeeeeeee idk either

33. favorite actor?- i dpnt have one i dont think

34. favorite actress?- shailene woodley / melissa mccarthy 

35. who is your celebrity crush?- jungkook

36. favorite movie?- mulan

37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?- divergent / shatter me

38. money or brains?- oh god im going for both

39. do you have a nickname? what is it?- ells? my dad calls me gibby i dont really know why i think it’s after the guy from ncis

40. how many times have you been to the hospital?- three? one for my ankle, one for my coccyx, one for my appendix 

41. top 10 favorite songs- fingertip by gfriend

- rough by gfriend

- scared of the dark by steps

- not today by bts

- why by taeyeon

- fine by taeyeon

- hear the wind sing by gfriend

- a girl like me by gugudan

- rollin by brave girls

- dope by bts

42. do you take any medications daily?- nope

43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)- oily

44. what is your biggest fear?- failure

45. how many kids do you want?- 2?

46. whats your go to hair style?- out of my face, usually a plait or pony tail because i feel most comfortable when my hair is up

47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)- medium? i cant really tell

48. who is your role model?- my mum

49. what was the last compliment you received?- from my bf saying i have a nice body :)))

50. what was the last text you sent?- to my dad saying “i may not see you when you come in because im going out for a meal but i got the job yaaaay xxx”

51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?- the heck he is real what are you talking about

52. what is your dream car?- any car

53. opinion on smoking?- i really hate it

54. do you go to college?- nope

55. what is your dream job?- a translator 

56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? - rural

57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? - always

58. do you have freckles?- nope

59. do you smile for pictures?- always when im aware of the photo being taken

60. how many pictures do you have on your phone? - 427

61. have you ever peed in the woods?- i have not

62. do you still watch cartoons?- not really

63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?- we dont have a wendys so mcdonalds it is

64. Favorite dipping sauce?- that dip you get with the chicken fingers at tgi fridays

65. what do you wear to bed?- pyjamas

66. have you ever won a spelling bee?- nope but we always did these spelling tests at school that was like 100 words but they never told us how well we did

67. what are your hobbies?- listening to music, playing video gaaaames, sports

68. can you draw?- i can draw just not very well but anyone can learn

69. do you play an instrument?- nope

70. what was the last concert you saw?- the saturdays, which was also my first concert

71. tea or coffee?- neither, im not a fan of hot drinks

72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?- dunkin donuts

73. do you want to get married?- yes

74. what is your crush’s first and last initial?- RK

75. are you going to change your last name when you get married?- well if i happen to get married to my bf my name would be ellie kelly if i did change my last name and my mum cry laughed about it 

76. what color looks best on you?- grey?

77. do you miss anyone right now?- always

78. do you sleep with your door open or closed?- sorry jess im the hooligan that sleeps with their door open

79. do you believe in ghosts?- yeah why not

80. what is your biggest pet peeve?- no manners

81. last person you called?- sainsburys lol

82. favorite ice cream flavor?- vanillaaaaaaa

83. regular oreos or golden oreos?- regular

84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?- rainbow

85. what shirt are you wearing?- a fake branded shirt with the heart i cant remember what it’s called 

86. what is your phone background?- cherry blossoms that namjoon took a photo of

87. are you outgoing or shy?- shy 

88. do you like it when people play with your hair?- im not sure i think so?

89. do you like your neighbors?- no

90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?- i splash my face with water at night and sometimes in the morning

91. have you ever been high?- no

92. have you ever been drunk? - no

93. last thing you ate?- chinese food

94. favorite lyrics right now- TANG TANG TANG FINGERTIP

95. summer or winter?- summer

96. day or night?- day

97. dark, milk, or white chocolate?- milk chocolate all day

98. favorite month?- hmmmmm i couldnt really say 

99. what is your zodiac sign- aquarius

100. who was the last person you cried in front of?

- my mum?

[cherry-chree]

Fuck

[odetoaninconsideratepissbaby]

Example : ill have to be doing like, homework, which to her is One Of My Basic Duties As A Child To Her In Exchange For Her Duties As A Parent To Me. The logic is as follows : i have to do my Duties As A Child for her to do her Parent Duties. If i dont, neither does she (or at least thats the threat). Problem being im a lazy piece of shit, or well no i just. Fuck sometimes i just cant, you know? School is stressful as shit and i hate it i hate it i hate it

Point being just fucking thinking about it makes me want to cry, let alone doing homework (which i used to do!! I promise i used to i just. It got bad okay). Of course this, being a Child Duty, gives her the Right to Not Do a parent duty. Idfk im. Anyway. Ill be in my room trying not to think about it and she has the 3 warnoing thing where she tells me to do them 3 times before she starts getting frustrated and oh fuck cant do tgis rn sorry