#IM SOMEWHERE ELSE RN

[moonlightmagical]

i feel insane. bazoongo.

[bookwyrminspiration]

i love writing. i also would rather be doing literally anything else

[hasarjunadoneanythingwrong]

day 1259

dios mio

[becauseplot]

Penciled Lines

(Cross-posted on ao3, if you prefer to read it there. Reblogs still appreciated!)

Missa wakes up, and he thinks he might be doomed. This doesn’t scare him nearly as much as it should.

Missa is awake early—by his own metric, anyway. His nocturnal nature causes “early” for him to mean “early night” and not “early morning.” Regardless, “early” means that Philza is not asleep yet, still going through his nightly rituals. “Early” means that Philza is sitting up in (his? their?) the bed, pillows propped up behind him, notebook in his lap, sketching away.

And when Missa wakes up to the soft scritch-scratch of a charcoal pencil on textured paper, his forehead just so happens to be brushing Philza’s hip.

Missa can hardly breathe.

Oh no.

He knows that if he gives any indication that he is awake, Philza will stop sketching, close his notebook, shift himself over until he is politely seated on his side of the bed, and greet Missa with a friendly smile. Philza has done it before, when Missa wakes up early. That’s how Missa knows he’ll do it again.

Thus, Missa can hardly breathe—his breaths have to be the slow in-out of sleep. He can’t so much as twitch, either. He has to keep quiet and play dead or else he’ll be found out. Seen. Caught living the lie.

“Husband,” Philza calls him. They’re not married. They share a bed. They’re hardly ever in it at the same time. They have a son and a daughter. Neither of them know Missa very well. Philza has had an extra set of armor and a skull on his backpack for months, waiting for Missa. Missa doesn’t even know Philza’s last name.

Philza is a good man and a good friend—and Missa doesn't deserve him. Still, he takes what he can get. Curls around it. Hoarding every innocent kindness Philza extends like a starving creature: the generosity of a backpack fully stocked with equipment; the trust Philza places in Missa to watch the kids when he’s asleep; and now, the courtesy of not moving his hip from Missa’s forehead to ensure his “sleeping” isn’t disturbed. Missa clutches all of these little offerings in his greedy claws and hugs them into his chest, even as the guilt eats away at him.

Because, regardless of the lack of mutual feeling, he loves Philza. He loves him so, so much, and that is why he is doomed. He can’t afford to lose what little he has. He can’t cross that line. 

So Missa lies beside Philza, forehead pressed against Philza’s hip, pretending to sleep so he can imagine that they’re not just lying in bed together, but lying in bed, together; and later, when Missa truly wakes, he will sit on his side of the bed and look at Philza’s face soft with sleep and think about how lucky he is that he still has a side-of-the-bed to begin with.

Missa doesn’t mean to drift off. When it starts to happen, he’s hopelessly torn between shaking himself awake and thus giving himself away, or remaining how he is, silently fending off the inevitable. In the end, Missa clings to that scritch-scratch sound of Philza’s pencil on the paper for as long as he can before the fog at last pulls him under. 

Eventually, he dreams. In fact, he dreams of the calloused fingers he dreams of every night, hands like his own, an artist of Death, cradling and shading the contours of his face—a softness dashing charcoal across his jaw, and over his cheekbones, and perhaps on his lips, too, if he’s lucky. Defining every edge of him.

~*~

A deep sigh. Phil stops sketching as Missa shifts in his sleep. He tilts his head up so that the tip of his nose is now just nearly brushing against Phil’s hip. The motion disturbs the wild splay of his dark hair, revealing more of his face: eyelashes, cheeks, warmth. Tender blush of something Stygian and otherworldly. New.

Phil’s lips tilt upwards. He turns to a fresh page, and he starts again.

[espritwrish]

Lance keeling down to propose very romantically probably in public:

Keith falling over seemingly all on his own:

Lance:

Lance: you good, babe?

Keith, pulling them both up to their feet: yeah, why?

Lance: ????because you face planted into the ground??

Keith: I thought you fell over. I didn't want you to be embarrassed.

Lance:

Lance: I love you so much pls have my kids

[abrahamvanhelsings]

oh my fucking god i walked into the airbnb and entered my room and as soon as i closed the door the hosts started fighting super loudly in the next room over im 99% sure they're on the edge of a divorce. wanted to leave but then they came into the living area and that's where my door opens to so i couldn't. im feeling so unsafe and uncomfortable rn.

[larrythefloridaman]

y'know in a voicecall the other night there was a bit of talk about how Dani and Larry being old friends kind of seems to logistically conflict with her original stated origin- being a recent arrival from a universe where CPUK tournaments take place in soul calibur instead of smash- and my dear friend jort @taffy-glitch suggested something offhand that my brain has sunk its teeth into a little

What if she's actually been from the main cpukverse the whole time, and that's just a stage backstory? The whole basis of her outsider identity an entertaining falsehood for performance's sake? And she hasn't been going home when she leaves, shes just leaving, going somewhere else, specifically to be away from kerfuffle.

20-something creates stage persona not sufficiently distinct from their real self, gets unreasonably, obnoxiously famous from what they achieved and did and continue to do in that stage persona, that stage persona kind of takes over their life a bit and worsens their relationships with the people they love and their ability to engage with other people in a normal way as it gets harder to break character, distancing themselves from it (along with everything and everyone else) in times of emotional crisis but always coming back because they cant resist even if this cycle of performance and isolation is not so good for them. many such cases

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

something i'm grateful for about Wally is the representation for people who love eye contact. we're underappreciated smh

[swag-system]

2 people co fronting and one is a baby and one is a teenager and theyre botg trying to cooperate to get food from the kitchen but theyre both really really fucking scared

[bluerasbunny]

what if i started posting my other fandoms and my ocs even more

[sophisticatedheart]

OK heres all my stuff i have so far, plus my tattoo :3 my corkboard is kinda barren but i have some things for it that i ordered recently, idk when theyll be here tho :( when they get here i will show you bc i have how im gonna decorate it planned out!!

[renjaminnifer]

i found a turtle!!! she was in a hardee's parking lot where she def does not belong!! there seems to be a lil crack on her tummy in the second pic?? i admittedly know next to nothing about turtles. but i love her and i moved her somewhere safer!!

[pocketsizedquasar-3]

the first time my account got nuked, i went through and queued/reblogged As Many of my old arts as i could find to account #2, and gonna b real that was fucking exhausting so. i'm probably not gonna do that Again for this account. But for now at least, i'm rebloggin Some more recent stuff at the moment, and down the line at certain points if i think of a particular art piece that i wanna show ppl again or smthn i may try and reblog those

however comma

i would LOVE to reblog / collect any of my old textposts/writings so if you have old textposts or essays etc of mine, please please please send them my way i will love you forever💖💖💖

[thesunmakesmetired]

Why do my hyperfixations switch out so fast like xjavixbahcje by the time i get settled into a new fandom some old fandom i havent seen since 2018 randomly drags me back and like its even more dead now than it was then whyyyyyyyyyy

[nabaath-areng]

Other thing that happened today was that one of the red kites that hang around in the pastures flew RIGHT above us while tending to the hives, the WING SPAN is absolutely incredible at that close distance!!!

And the blue tits and woodpeckers that live in our garden also kept us company just watching as we worked while munching their food...

Usually birds can pose a risk to bees by trying to break into the hives, but here everyone just co-exist peacefully.

... Except for last year when the blue tits and flugsnappare (idk english name) fought about WHO should get to claim the bird houses. Which was funny cause there's room for all of you here!!! This year they've reconciled and are just chilling...

I feel so blessed honestly to have been born into this life? Modernization and industrialization made traditional farms nearly impossible to run, but I love to feel so connected to it and my family even though it runs differently now. Centuries of farmers leading up to this and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

We had to give up on the cows and chickens when I was very young, but maybe one day it will be possible to do small scale farming like this again in general.

[irhabiya]

the thing is i don't even gaf about my gpa it hardly matters in the long wrong most hospitals look at your board examinations and extracurriculars and research when applying for residency but i need to keep my gpa above a certain level to keep my scholarship i CANNOT afford this university's tuition fees😭😭😭