#i am trying to CONNECT and show that i am ENGAGED i am LISTENING

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

something i'm grateful for about Wally is the representation for people who love eye contact. we're underappreciated smh

[mwagneto]

hungarian/nomadic magyar tumblr circa 998AD dashboard simulator

🏞️ vándor-ló-979 Follow

not yall still spreading emese's foundation myth??? she literally claims she fucked a bird????? like either she's lying or she cheated and she's trying to cover it up or well. i dont even want to consider the third option

🪺 magánügyek Follow

tengri forbid women do anything???

735 notes

🦅 szél-könnyű-szárnyán-szállj Follow

okay im sick of the discourse let's do this.

8,572 notes

🐎 istván-rovására Follow

that took so long lmao -> !!!!!!!∧◇ᛏ⋈∧

481 notes

🐴 csillagösvény Follow

i'm so serious rn if you support """istván""" in any way just unfollow and block me. we do NOT need him or his dumbass god and what he's been doing to our people to spread his religion is shameful.

🐴 csillagösvény Follow

btw we all know your real name is vajk stop larping as a christian it's EMBARRASSINGGGG

✝️ esztergom-örökké Follow

love seeing my mutuals reblogging this /s anyway op has multiple posts on their blog supporting quartering and human sacrifice. in case you were wondering. anyway stand with István

🐴 csillagösvény Follow

1) we dont even do human sacrifices, are you fucking stupid??? show me ONE post where i talk about that. 2) are you seriously forgetting that your bestie istván LITERALLY QUARTERED HIS UNCLE?????

#sorry to put this dumbass on the dash😭 dont even engage just block them #ur not making it up the tree of life lmao #discourse

3,264 notes

🌅 bolygó-kárpáti Follow

friendly reminder that just because you're white passing doesn't mean you're not a real magyar!! people with mixed parents are just as valid <3

🏇 attila-népe Follow

cranky coz ur ancestors decided to mix with the europeans arent you

🧺 lemezelő Follow

isnt your girlfriend literally frankish????

🏇 attila-népe Follow

you had to have done some serious stalking to find that💀 and first of all i didn't have a choice, my parents picked the tribe, and second of all she's not my "girlfriend" i got her via ritual kidnapping (WITH consent. before anyone gets weird)

🌐 a-kiber-kovács Follow

Couldn't you have kidnapped another magyar woman? Or someone from another mongoloid tribe?

🔅 hadúrsimp Follow

ohh sure so now human pet guy is gonna chime in to advocate for the kidnapping of our women while being lowkey racist. what are you even doing on nomadblr????

🌅 bolygó-kárpáti Follow

what the fuck happened to my post

19,276 notes

🪔 rakabonciás Follow

for the nth time, you're only a true shaman if you were born with teeth OR with extra fingers OR in the sac. the rest of you are faking & we can tell.

🦅szél-könnyű-szárnyán-szállj Follow

okay people keep spreading this but this is literally just wrong?? like congrats on the 6 fingers op im glad u and Little Golden Father have a special connection (genuinely) but like. táltos and sámán and mágus and garabonciás and javas etc are all different things with completely different requirements and life paths which you should definitely know if you're claiming to be one?? especially since your post says shaman but you're listing the criteria for a táltos, and your username looks like a play on garabonciás so. which is it🤔 maybe get your facts in order before trying to gatekeep

anyway don't listen to op!! your connection to the Upper World is yours alone and you're the best judge of what the Fathers and Mothers want your path in life to be!!

646 notes

🛐 mea-culpa Follow

It breaks my heart that the majority of my people still refuse to see the One True God and insist on sticking to their pagan spirits. I fear that when judgement day comes, we will all be wiped out thanks to their foul godless ways.

🐴 csillagösvény Follow

how tf am i godless when i literally have dozens of gods? little mothers and little fathers are in everything all around us & it must suck ass to live in a world where you're not surrounded by the small gods that inhabit everything. manifesting that the fene and the guta tag team beat your ass tonight

🔅 hadúrsimp Follow

hadúr will literally strike op down personally. he told me himself. whispered it to me sweetly even

🐴 csillagösvény Follow

while i agree with you, i feel like you might also have ulterior motives, nomadblr user hadúrsimp

#but live your truth! doubly so on the posts of these freak repressed bible lovers. meanwhile on the #COOL side of magyarhood we walk around butt ass naked!!! op have fun never experiencing joy ever again tho #discourse

198 notes

👑 sanctus-stephanus Follow

posting from an alt so i don't get cancelled but lowkey i'm starting to think koppány was right.... maybe this christianity thing isn't gonna work out after all

👑 sanctus-stephanus Follow

WRONG BLOG

👑 sanctus-stephanus Follow

THIS WAS A JOKE. IGNORE THIS

🪺 magánügyek Follow

ISTVÁN????????????? 💀

[kazelvr]

₊˚ෆˎˊ˗ let the light in

synopsis. relationship headcannons with 3 of my fav csm characters (strictly fem reader for quanxi, gender neutral reader for the rest)

cw. suggestive in quanxi’s part, im just absolutely in love with her lol, mentions of vomit in denji’s part, implied modern au in aki’s part

note. my writing may be a bit different, because i’m trying something new.. i apologize 😭. i also made this half asleep.. time check 4:11 am

denji (デンジ)

to be real, denji has no clue about healthy relationships. that’s putting it mildly, right? the only ‘relationships’ he’s had were all about manipulation and brainwashing.

but hey, he really does put in the effort for you! denji’s going to do whatever it takes to make you happy, such as going bankrupt for the sake of a gift.

despite being in a relationship, denji still feels awkward around you. his shyness towards you was evident from the beginning, and now it has only intensified. please bear with him, he’ll come around eventually!

but when he does get comfortable.. denji forms a deep emotional connection with you. he’s faced many challenges, and all he’s ever wanted is to feel loved. you have become that source of comfort to him, and that means the world.

at first, his kisses can be awkward, unsure of where to put his hands, and he might even keep this eyes open. you might need to show him how to kiss properly, which can be even harder if he’s your first kiss.

he always craves cuddles, day in and out. he’s a true cuddlebug. he likes feeling the steady rhythm of your breath against his skin. whether if he’s the little spoon, or the big spoon, his sole desire is to sleep while being in physical contact with you. he finds it impossible to sleep without you.

on those days when you’re super busy and can’t cuddle with him, denji gets all pouty. it’s quite dramatic, really, how he gives you the side eye and ignores you when you try to talk about it. but, he can’t stay mad at you forever. eventually, he’ll give in and cling onto you like a koala. he’s not letting go, by the way.

he is keeping you away from power at all costs, even if you two are friends. if she ever found out that denji has a partner, she will not leave him alone. power will definitely embarrass denji in front of you, telling you about all of his flaws while he tries to stop her from saying anything else… he was never able to stop her.

on your birthday, aki attempted to assist denji in preparing a meal for you. unfortunately, it was a complete disaster and the food turned out to be unappetizing… despite aki’s desperate attempts to persuade denji not to serve you his charred creation, denji, being denji, stubbornly refused to listen. when you took a bite, the taste was so revolting that your stomach couldn’t bear it any longer. you regurgitated the ill fated meal… it’s the thought that counts, right?

overall, he’s trying really hard to be a good boyfriend, please appreciate him.

aki hayakawa (早川アキ)

this man…. phewww…

aki is the epitome of a respectful boyfriend, always seeking your consent before engaging in any action, be it a simple kiss or a gentle touch.

if you happen to be someone who tends to be disorganized and messy, rest assured aki will gladly take on the responsibility of tidying up after you. regardless of the severity of the mess, simply tell him, and he will promptly begin cleaning it up, without any judgement.

bathing together has become a regular routine for the both of you, a frequent occurrence that follows a long day of hunting devils. aki, in particular, finds comfort in sharing these type of moments with you. the soothing warmth of the bathwater coupled with the gentle sensation of your hands massaging shampoo into his hair, while he rests against your chest, brings him a new profound sense of relaxation. it’s not always about being sexual, but rather the feeling of closeness with you that brings him a sense of tranquility.

aki is like a dad sending text messages. when he’s not around, he would text you to ask if you need anything from the store. when he receives your response, he replies back with a simple “👍” emoji. that’s it.

aki is all about being the big spoon— it’s just who he is. aki has experienced too much loss and he can’t bear the thought of losing you. he holds you tightly in his grasp, afraid that if he loosens his grip, he’ll lose you, even though that would never be the case. your presence alone brings him a sense of security, and all he wants is for you to be safe.

every morning, this man never leaves for work without giving you a gentle kiss, even if you’re still groggy. you’re the sole reason he can maintain his sanity while battling devils all day.

to aki, you’re like his home, his safe space. you are the one he can confide in, and shed tears without any guilt, and that is one of the many reasons why he loves you.

aki is tall, standing at 190cm (6’2). every time you talk to him, he lowers himself to your level so he can hear you more clearly. sometimes, you think he’s doing it to make fun of you, but in reality, he just wants to be close to you.

aki has a reputation for being aloof, but in reality, he is the complete opposite. he’s a dork. a dork who can’t help but smile whenever your name comes up, a dork who finds himself captivated by your every feature, analyzing them with great interest. a dork who’s madly in love.

quanxi (クァンシ)

quanxi has a deep admiration for her girls’ body, and it’s no secret - especially to you, who has personally felt her touch. every inch of your body is your favorite, from the curves of your breasts to the softness of your thighs. she revels in worshiping every aspect of you, leaving you feeling loved.

when someone utters even the slightest offensive remark towards you, quanxi’s protective remarks kick in, particularly if it comes from a man. she wholeheartedly defends you, regardless of whether you were in the wrong (gotta stand up for your girls), she becomes so defensive she almost resorts to physical confrontation, refusing to let anyone disrespect under her watch.

quanxi’s touch is ever-present. usually, it’s her hand on your waist in public, marking you as hers. behind closed doors, she explores every inch of you. it makes you wonder if she’s a different person outside of the public eye. but, who’s complaining?

i like to think that when quanxi gets drunk, she gets awfully needy and with you. she enjoys holding onto your arm and leaning against you, gently nibbling your ear, while softly expressing slurred compliments about your beauty.

quanxi is your ultimate protector, in every sense of the word. facing a menacing devil? before you can even blink, quanxi is by your side, fearlessly slaying the creature. your girlfriend takes pride in being your number one protecter, regardless of your strength.

making out sessions happen 90% of the time you two are together. quanxi simply can’t resist when you give her that irresistible look, with your lips appearing soft and pouted!

titty lover

[herballwitch]

Spirit Work Basics

Hello, My name is Alva Tauri! I am an herbalist, spirit worker, tarot and oracle reader, and lunar and herbal witch dedicated to closing the education gap when it comes to herbalism and witch practices!

Today I thought I would get online and compile my own personal journal entries and rituals about spirit work here for anyone interested in getting into spirit work, soest how you can begin to understand the basics behind working with spirits.

Below you will find everything you need to begin your journey...

with that being said, let's begin~

꩜ "How do I start speaking with spirits?"

The answer to this is simple: meditation and intention.

Meditation is the perfect way to open up to the spirits and say to them, "I am interested in talking to you." It also is a fantastic way to get in touch with yourself and your own energy, which can be extremely helpful when it comes to spirit work,as it can help you gauge when something has changed or shifted in energy around you.

How do you feel your own energy? This can be done in many different ways. For example, you can listen to your own heartbeat, you can listen to the calming sounds around you (water, nature, birds, etc.), or you can do visualization practices (you can find some examples in my post here).

Once you've connected with your energy, try visualizing a door opening and imagine your hand reaching out through the doorway. This is to signify to the spirit around you that you are willing to speak with them.

NOTE: You may not get a response. This does not mean you are failing or doing anything wrong. Keep trying. Sometimes spirits are simply unwilling to speak at the moment, just like we often times need a break away from people. Do not take it personally and remember to remain respectful of them in these moments.

Struggling with meditation? This is a common problem for anyone who is new to the practice, especially those of us who live with mental or physical illness. Remember this: A) meditation takes practice and practice shows dedication to the craft. having to try multiple times before grasping a concept does not mean you have failed, it means you care. B) the literal definition of meditation is "to engage in mental exercise (such as concentration on one's breathing or repetition of a mantra) for the purpose of reaching a heightened level of spiritual awareness." No where in that definition does it say you have to be sitting, with your legs cross, and your hands on your knees. You can mediate in a chair, on the couch...hell you can even meditate laying down in your bed.

Before you give up on meditation remember why you are doing it and ask yourself "have I tried every method or position that I can?" you can meditate. anyone can. I believe in you and so do the spirits!

꩜ "How do I know if spirits are attempting to communicate with me?"

Some signs are common and will make it relatively easy to tell, while others may be a bit harder to decern. Here are some of the more common signs you may hear people discuss when it comes to spirit work:

hearing voices or echoes (possibly thinking you heard someone say your name when no one is around)

hearing random knocks and bangs that seemingly came from nothing

random works or phrases popping up in your head (especially common when doing some sort of divination work with spirits)

having strange dreams or strange visions while meditating

phantom touches

experiencing the feeling of being watched

These answer may seem a bit vague and, if you think so, that is because they are, unfortunately, vague. This is where the real challenge of spirit work comes in. Your ability to decern whether or not something was a spirit or simply your house settling or you having a rough day that causes rough dreams is paramount in being a good spirit worker and is a skill that comes with time.

Having trouble learning how to decern between the two worlds? Keep practicing meditation, keep doing visualization practices, get to know your own spiritual energy, and be honest with yourself. Once you understand yourself and your environment it will be easy to decipher, but you have to give yourself time, patience, and honesty. This will help you in your journey.

꩜ "Should I use any tools? If so, what should I use?"

While ensuring your energy is in a good place and making attempts to reach out to the spirits via meditation is important, you do not have to use energies exclusively. A great way to help you better connect to spirits in spirit work is the use of tools.

Naturally, the tools I list below are not the only ones to exist. There are hundreds of great spirit work tools out there. However, I am only going to discuss the ones I have used and have experience with today. If you don't see anything below that catches your eye, feel free to do your own research to learn more about spirit works tools!

Let's talk about the tools I use:

Tarot Cards: 78 cards with different meanings you can use to ask the spirits questions and connect with them

Pendulum: a crystal tied to a sting or chain you use by swinging over a board with a variety of different text options, so that when you speak to the spirits they can swing the pendulum in the direction of the word they'd like to say.

Cartomancy: a regular deck of playing cards used to talk to the spirits

In addition to these methods that I use, you may also want to look into:

Ouija Boards

Crystal Balls

Mirror/Water Scrying

Remember, what tools work for me or your friend or someone you know online may not work for you. Find what speaks to you and test it out and, if you don't like it, it's okay to move on a try something else. You need to feel connected to your form of divination for the spirits to feel connected to you.

Remember, it's also okay to get creative, too. I have heard some people say they do divination practices with food or different elements of nature, or runes, or even music (which I usually have on while i'm working). Reach out to what calls to you, whatever that may be.

꩜ "How do I talk to the spirits once they've connected with me?"

That's easy. Just talk to them.

You can do this in a multitude of different ways. You can write letters and burn them, you can sing, you can pray, or you can just talk outloud.

Remember, different places may call for different etiquette. For example, if you are at a graveyard visiting a love one and are attempting to connect with them, you may not want to communicate in any way that is going to be loud or is going to cause harm to the grave or the grave site (take a look at my post about graveyard etiquette here for more information on that). Simply be aware of your surroundings and use common sense. Remember, if you have to question whether or not something is appropriate to do then it probably isn't.

꩜ THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND

Ward Yourself and/or Use Protection Magic Beforehand: it would be nice to believe that all spirits are friendly and have good intentions. however, that is not always the case. be safe and take care of yourself. you may even consider bringing a knife.

Practice Patience and Respect: as I said, not even spirit is friendly and not every spirit is open to speaking. be patient and wait for them and if you do not get the response you want, don't be disrespectful unless you feel that a spirit is threatening you.

You Aren't Weak For Using Tools: don't let anyone tell you that the use of tools means you are weak in your craft. this is not something I have personally experienced, but I have heard some witches, spirit workers, and pagans say that they have experienced this from others in the community. if you do experience this, ignore it. tools are meant to help strengthen your connection. they are not a sign of weakness.

You Do Not Have to Communicate Alone: if you are nervous or feeling uncomfortable, feel free to bring a friend or family member in to help you out and comfort you! and, if you don't have someone IRL to help you, remember there is a wonderful community here on tumblr that would love to help you in your journey!

That's all for spirit work basics! I hope that you found this helpful in your spiritual journey and I hope that you are able to apply this information to your practice.

if you have any questions regarding anything discussed here or if you'd like to make a request to be added to the list, please send an ask to my ask box! I appreciate all comments and questions!

For more information on my practice, witchcraft, herbalism, spirit work, and divination please check out the guide on my page (linked here)! Everything I have ever posted can be found there!

I wish you all a blessed day filled with peace, endless wealth, and eternal health! Until the next time we meet!

[drdemonprince]

Hi Devon,

this might not be a question you can answer, or maybe it is! idk. this is about covid & alike

for context on myself, i’m a white gendrfucky trans guy who’s also autistic & an immigrant (so some cultural context is probably lacking)

as we know, we’re in a 2nd highest surge & the pandemic never stopped and it increasingly dangerous and disabling to so many

i wear my kn95 everywhere i go now, and while i tried last semester, it was a lot easier to abandon masking because of

1. others’ around me negligence

2. some classrooms being IMPOSSIBLY hot and close to unbearable with a respirator on

3. attending crowded events where people needed to hear me

i’ve reevaluated and am rebuilding my practices now, but what i’m finding really difficult is to get people i have in my life to wear a mask again

i feel so lost. i share the informational posts, i talk to my people, i offer masks- what else is there to do?? i know the exhaustion i feel is absolutely incomparable to what disabled and immunocompromised people feel, especially when they’ve done the work for years!

i just don’t understand how i’m supposed to keep moving through life. i mean ofc i’ll keep doing what i’m already doing but it’s so incredibly isolating to be the only person masked in a meeting of 20,30,50 people.

i don’t know how to make people care. i don’t know how to have conversations with my friends in a way that will let our relationship evolve with this new understanding of care. i don’t know how to not polarize people into defensiveness when i talk about the powers wreaking atrocities in falasteen being the same ones shortening an isolation period to 1 day.

i don’t know how to be eloquent enough to be listened to and firm enough where people take what i say seriously. i don’t know how to not start screaming WEAR A MASK anytime it’s a crowded (or even not crowded) meeting indoors with no air filtration.

idk how people don’t realize the “cold” they’ve had for 3 weeks is either covid or direct aftermath of it. idk how they stand for seemingly the right things and then come to work sick & unmasked.

i don’t know how to engage with most people in a meaningful way & find connections because the delusion, the “it won’t happen to me”, the “i don’t care if i catch it and die”, the “this is just the way it is” seems to be a wall made of unbreakable cement and i don’t know what will melt it.

i feel insane for having compassion towards the world and seeing how it can be better. i feel insane for being angry people don’t mask & downplay this issue. i feel insane for even trying to talk sense into people.

i’ve recently been called a lying phony by an account that talks about masking bc a lot of my recent pictures show my face without a mask. i archived the posts since, apologized and reflected. but a lot of pictures i take are in my own room so i am unmasked. idk

i feel like the gap between me and most people i know is growing wider by the minute and with every reading i do about interdependent revolutionary practices, etc.

i know that when one understands something, it is their responsibility to make an impact on their bubble of the world and transform it with their knowledge. but i doubt i’m the only one doing the reading and knowing what’s going on, i just seem to be the only one masking.

i don’t know. i’m sorry it’s such a long ask & i’m sure you have your own stuff you’re dealing with. i just don’t know who else to ask that might understand. i’m sure there are people around me who might but so many are in survival mode and i currently don’t know anyone with the capacity to hold space for this.

i guess it’s bold to assume you do.

anyway, i hope your day goes alright today<3

You are placing wayyy too much responsibility upon yourself as one compassionate and informed individual here, and expecting far too much perfection of yourself in ways that do not help you and do not help the cause. You've done a lot to unpack the terrible individualism that has led to anti-mask sentiment being so rampant, but you are in a way still applying that logic to yourself and your situation by imagining that if you, one humble person with limited power were able to be adequately persuasive, you'd somehow change the actions of thousands. That is not how behavior change works.

Persuasion almost never happens logically or instantly, almost never through one person's remarks. Behavior is shaped by a vast array of economic, sociological, emotional, and ideological factors.

It's also not helpful in my opinion to worry about the opinion of someone who would shame you for not wearing a mask at home alone in your bedroom, either. Obsessing over the optics of our actions and wanting all people to morally approve of us at all times is yet another consequence of individualism and Puritanism. as you well know as someone who masks in a crowd of maskless people, sometimes we gotta do what we know is right and disregard others' opinions.

What you can do, in my opinion, is this: keep masking. Your behavior reminds people of the need for masks and models socially responsible behavior. Bring spare masks with you. Offer them to your family and friends and the people standing near you in public. If they refuse, and you have a good relationship with the person where they have shown they respect you and listen to you, then you can tell them why masking around you is important to you. You cannot change the opinion of someone who has never shown you any respect so don't expect that to ever work.

Even if you do have a good relationship with someone, persuasion is a long, hard process. Do not expect yourself to change their mind. If you can get some people to mask at least around you, that is a victory. Perfection is an unrealistic goal here to expect of yourself, and for public health in general. Any improvement you can inspire is a victory. Even if it's just making one or two friends mask more often when they are with you. That still lessens risk. That still sends a visible signal to everyone around you. You have no idea of the impact you truly have on other people in the long term. It is both more modest and far larger and longer-reaching than you as an individual will ever know.

Please be easy on yourself. You are just a person. An average person with very limited power. So is everyone else for the most part. When you stop burdening yourself with the unrealistic responsibility of changing thousands of people's behavior, you will feel less resentful toward others as well. When we resent other people it always means we are doing too much.

And when you feel less overwhelmed and overburdened, you will be more effective in the conversations you do have with people about COVID too. People do not respond well to (what they perceive to be) guilt or intensity or someone presuming to know better than them. What people do respond to well is to be asked genuine questions, listened to, validated in their feelings, given help where they are facing barriers to action, and being treated with compassionate gentleness.

But to do that you have to work on believing that people who are flawed in their response to COVID have reasons for doing so that make sense to them, and that they aren't all foolish and lacking in compassion. As my friend @kim-from-kansas says, people do not do things that do not make sense. If a person's actions do not make sense to you, it is because you are missing a piece of their context. The sad fact is people have many reasons to think that masking doesn't work or is hopeless. People have been very heavily propagandized and trauma also makes many people value life less.

Convincing people to take COVID more seriously is a tall, tall order, but if you wish to do so, you will need to be more than correct. You will have to put real work into not making people feel judged, and you will have to make peace with not always (or even usually) succeeding. It sucks but that's how it is. Best of luck!!

[benkyoutobentou]

How to study languages without studying

Whether you're just starting out and have had bad experiences with textbook learning in the past or are getting burnt out from prepping for the next proficiency test, it's never a bad idea to put the textbooks away for a time and just enjoy your target language. If you're new to the world of immersion, here are a few ways to get you started.

Follow along with the lyrics of a song. Spotify's not-so-new-anymore lyrics feature is great for this, especially since it has timed lyrics, but it doesn't have every song.

Expert mode: Write out the lyrics and underline/highlight/make note of all the words and grammar structures you don't know. Learn these unknowns until you can understand the whole song!

Extra challenge: Translate a song from your target language. I usually tend to stay away from translations in my study, but for those of you who aspire to be translators (or already are!), the poetic nature of song lyrics can be a fun challenge.

Watch a show or movie. Netflix has now introduced a feature where you can sort by language! If there's nothing made in your language that you're interested in, it also gives the option to sort by shows and movies that have the audio or subtitles available. Internet Archive also tends to have lots of foreign films that I'm looking for.

Easy mode: Watch with English or your native language subtitles. When doing this, try to still listen to what's being said and pick up on words and phrases that you know, or match new words with their translation in the subtitles. Note: reading one language and listening to another is a skill in and of itself! Don't be discouraged if you can't do both at the same time yet, you're brain is still making the connections in intonation and cadence of the language.

Hard mode: Watch with captions in your target language. This helps you connect listening and reading, especially in languages where the spelling isn't exactly phonetic, or it uses a different alphabet than what you're used to.

Expert mode: No captions or subtitles! But who knows, maybe you're better at listening comprehension than I am. Make sure you're getting comprehensible input here; some shows and movies are much harder than others. But above all else, watch what keeps your interest. A movie where you can catch half the dialogue but is super engaging is better for you than an "easy" movie that you're going to spend your time ignoring.

Polyglot mode?: Watch something in your target language with subtitles in a different target language. This adds just one too many layers of obfuscation for me, but if you're into the challenge, more power to you.

Watch YouTube. You can change your language preference on YouTube, and with that, the Explore section will give you recommendations in your target language. Going into the trending tab with your target language can give you a good idea about what people are interested in in the countries where your target language is spoken.

Read something. It can be a book, it can be a comic. There are plenty of webcomics out there in a number of languages! There's also probably an English language listicle with recommendations of easier to understand webcomics for learners, too.

If you're just getting started in immersion, you can choose whether you focus on intensive reading or extensive reading (this actually goes for all kinds of immersion, but is easiest to control with reading since it happens at your own pace). Intensive reading is reading with the goal of understanding everything 100%. If you don't understand a word, or a grammar point, or the reading of a character, look it up. Extensive reading is reading just to get the gist of things. Look up words and grammar points only if they stop you from understanding the general meaning of the sentence or section. And of course, the more you immerse, the less you'll have to look things up, but remember that difficulty varies between materials, even within books of the same age range, genre, and medium.

A small digression: If you decide that you never want to open a textbook on your language learning journey, more power to you! It can be done and I know people who have gotten to proficient levels of their target language without textbooks. If you want this to be you, extensive immersion is your best friend. You also might want to get comfortable with the flashcard program anki, because, if this is your goal, all those unknown grammar points and words will probably end up there. But at the end of the day, language learning is an intensely personal journey, and what works for others won't necessarily work for you. Finding what works for you is just part of learning a language.

Play a game. Lots of games are region locked (hint: Pokemon Sun/Moon isn't! If you start a new game, you can choose which language you want to play it in), but there are plenty of free online games still lurking in the corners of the internet. With a bit of googling, you can probably find something in your target language. Just the other day, I went out to find one of those hidden item games in Japanese and ended up finding an entire site dedicated to user made browser games.

If you're learning Japanese or Korean, picrew might be fun to look through as well. I noticed that plenty of picrews have basic anatomy vocabulary. I'm not super familiar with picrew myself, but the ones I've seen tend to be in Korean and Japanese

And lastly, don't fully give up on textbooks before trying them out. Don't be discouraged if textbooks truly aren't your thing, but studying a language on your own time can feel much different than studying for school. Don't put too much pressure on yourself and just have fun with your language. Additionally, if you'd rather learn in a video format, many languages have full courses uploaded to YouTube for you to try. Finding these can be difficult for some languages though, so don't hesitate to reach out to other learners and see what they recommend!

Got your materials ready? Great! Now go forth and immerse!

[clonerightsagenda]

Getting Involved Locally

Every time I see a post implying the only two politically relevant actions you can take in America are voting or not voting in federal elections, I tell myself I will make this post, so now I am finally doing it.

As an American, it can be frustrating and dispiriting to feel like we're being held hostage by our politicians while the United States continues to be one of the biggest forces for suffering on a global scale. This post is not about what we can do on that scale but instead suggests that, if you're feeling powerless and depressed about your national/international impact, you can take action on the local level. I got involved with a local activist group a few years ago, and we've been able to tangibly help people in our community, get genuine policy passed, and net some legislative wins. It's much easier to influence a smaller system, and a lot more rewarding than doomscrolling on social media.

Disclaimer: I am an American who lives on the outskirts of a fairly large city. This post reflects my experience and not everything in it may be applicable to yours. Take what is useful and leave the rest.

What's out there?

There are a variety of ways to get involved locally depending on your preferences. I'm going to lump them into a few categories:

Local government. City council, school boards, library boards, etc. Many of these orgs have open meetings and allow public comment. They're often sparsely attended and members are frequently elected by small margins, so they're far more likely to listen to what you have to say than federal legislators. Check out your home's website to see if you can find minutes and agendas to learn what they're discussing and how you can weigh in. Great choice if you want to develop a first name basis nemesishood with a local politician.

Volunteering. If you have low bandwidth and just want someone to tell you what to do, but would like to know your actions immediately benefit real people, volunteering gigs might be for you. Lots of organizations need help! Community kitchens, greenspace cleanups, giving immigrants rides to appointments, phonebanking, tutoring, supporting cultural centers, etc. Find orgs connected to something you're interested in and see what they need.

Organizing. Organizing involves long term work to build groups of people who can push for change. Outside of labor unions, there are tenant unions (renters pushing their landlords for better conditions) and groups organizing around a specific issue. (Off the top of my head, in my area I'm aware of multiple groups organizing around abolition/decarceration, minimum wage, environmental justice, transit, and reproductive justice.) These groups require more commitment, but that also means you'll have more input than showing up to volunteer for a nonprofit a few times a month.

(The group I'm currently involved with is organizing-focused, so if you're curious I'm happy to share more details of what that's like, I just don't want this post to be even longer.)

How can I learn about opportunities?

Word of mouth

Local government websites

Library, college, and community center bulletin boards

Local events (I tabled at a music festival last summer)

Protests and rallies

Local news outlets (might be covering actions, etc.)

Social media

Google (try 'mutual aid' and your location)

Start getting involved. I cannot express how much I've learned about the activist landscape in my city just from joining one org. Between partnerships, solidarity requests, etc., so many groups are now on my radar that weren't before. As I said before, I'm in/near a fairly big city, but you might be surprised by how much is going on where you are!

A note on self-interest

Something we talk about in organizing is self-interest. Why are you passionate about this cause? Why are you in this fight? Identifying your self-interest is important for a few reasons. First, it helps you convince other people to care. Second, it keeps you engaged. If you start volunteering out of a vague sense that you're 'helping', it's much easier to lose interest. If you recognize how winning this fight makes your life better, you're more likely to stick with it. I'm not saying you should only get involved in causes that immediately materially benefit you, but it's worth thinking about your personal stake so that you can return to that when you think 'ugh I don't want to get out of bed for this meeting'. You may have seen the quote credited to Lilla Watson and a group of other Aboriginal Rights activists: "If you have come here to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together."

In conclusion

This is work. I've spent weekends in campaign retreats and driven 45 minutes across the city to make care packages. I am doing group projects and not even getting paid for it. But when you're frustrated with the state of the world, it's nice to be able to roll up your sleeves and make a visible impact on something you can control. It's also a great way to meet people irl who care about the same things as you and learn ways we can support each other when larger structures let us down.

As yet another American election season draws near with its avalanche of posts about voting, whether you intend to vote or post on tumblr about how much voting sucks or are a long-suffering non-American cursed to always see this shit, I challenge you to take a step* into your community and tackle a problem there. Who knows? You might even help solve it.

*Virtually if necessary. Many orgs try to be accessible. I attend many of my org's meetings on zoom!

[eatommo]

Send you Flowers [j.g.]{kd20}

Infidelity / Cunnilingus

Cw: infidelity, cheating, Javi is married, implied age gap, mutual pining, sexual tension, Javi the pussy eating king, power imbalance (she’s his assistant/manager), kissing, title and story both reference face/off not sorry,

Javi was married, and that didn’t stop you as quickly or as assuredly as it should’ve. He flirted with you, and you flirted back. He was your boss and a sick part of your brain wanted to know how far you could push him before he fired you or gave in. There was honesty in your relationship, the connection never was severed but nursed, treated like an integral part of your job.

Make Javi laugh, make Javi show up on time, make Javi drool. You excelled.

At first you felt the heat in your body and stamped it out, afraid that you’d develop some schoolgirl crush on the man. When the conversations of your life, of your confidence, of your body grew to have a haze of admiration, and when you couldn’t tell if he was just flattering you for his own selfish gain, or because he actually believed you were the most beautiful women he’d ever seen, regardless you broke.

It was quick and slow at the same time. You were in a hallway talking about the days agenda, you’d be by each other's side, press releases and interviews stretching well into the night hours. You could still smell his morning shower, his lose curls falling onto his forehead as he leaned against the doorframe with his hip, arms crossed as he kept your eyes engaged with his listening intently. “I’ve picked out a few outfits for you to try for the meeting with paramount.”

His eyes knit together, as he looked down at his half buttoned tropical shirt and his tiny European shorts you still hadn’t gotten used to seeing him in, “Why not this? It’s a zoom meeting.”

You don’t hide the way you let your gaze wonder, “It’s nice Javi, if they had already hired you, but for a pitch I think you should have something a little more sophisticated on.”

He tilts his head in consideration, “You think this is too casual? This is a 1,000 euro shirt.” He looks you up and down, “I think those clothes work for you.” he leans in ever so slightly as if whispering the next word into your ear, “Too well even.” He smirks, chewing on his lip “But I am a simple man to work with, ask nicely.”

You bite your own lip in mock frustration, “Please Javi, they should be on your bed.” You point past him, seeing the grey blazer folded neatly untouched at the foot of his bed. His head falls in an exaggerated sigh, before traipsing back into the room with you hot on his heels.

He holds up the fabric and for a moment of horror you think he’s going to put it over the loud fabric he’s already wearing, he tosses it back to the bed and begins to undue the buttons on his shirt.

Seamlessly you busy yourself with the itinerary on your phone, ignoring his undressed figure to the best of your abilities, and thinking about how he said he liked when you dressed professionally for a day of interviews.

He puts the blazer on alone, and doesn’t bother with more than two buttons, the clean plain of his chest is tantalizing and looks effortless and sharp at the same time.

“Have you seen Face/off?” Javi gets your attention quickly, you’ve seen it of course, multiple times, even more than once with Javi on planes.

“You know I have.” You smile fondly at the memories of working with Javi on his first film, and the ‘required’ viewing of his favorite Cage films.

Javi muses, “We’ve seen many good movies together.” He steps closer and your breath catches in your throat. “We’ve done many great things together.” You nod quietly, enraptured by the husky seriousness, “What’s one more?”

You let your brows pinch together, not wanting to commit fully to anything, before the air is stolen from your lungs in a deep sensual kiss. He licks into your mouth as if he’s been craving your taste for years. You can’t get enough of him, your phone falls onto the bed on top of his shirt, and you press up against him. When he touches you it’s like all those conversations have been replaying in his head on loop. He knows you like your hair pulled, he knows your neck is sensitive, he knows you like it when a man is rough with you.

If those conversations felt like a sin then, they sure as hell are feeling like heaven now. He pulls your head to the side with a fist knotting against your scalp, and scrapes his teeth down the side of your neck. The movement causes you to shudder, taking a deep breath as your heart hammer away in your chest. You want him, lord have mercy you want him, the hang up on your professional relationship has been all but gone for the longest time. You’ve been waiting for him, the married man to make the final move. He’s done with waiting.

He takes the collar of your blouse in his free hand tearing it from your body in a cacophony of buttons clanging onto the floor of his room. He grunts, letting the skin of your chest warm his hands as he strokes over the top of your bra, teasing the flesh of your nipples to a peak without even touching them.

He can mark you, he knows you want him to, sinking his teeth into the flesh of your breast he pins your body to his. The swell of his cock so strikingly obvious in his tiny shorts. You reach for him, losing your logical brain with each flick of his tongue against the bruises he leaves on your chest.

He knows so much about you, and in return in the same immoral way, you know how much he likes to eat pussy. It’s no surprise when you’re on your back, his hands running over the pantyhose, digging his nails into the thin fabric and tearing small holes into it. You protest but he shushes you. Kissing your ankle, he grips your leg bending it to his will, and tucking himself between your legs. “I bet I could make you cum just like this baby, with your clothes still on.” You groan, the thought as pleasant as it seems was also likely tangible, you were feeling like a hot coil had settled into your belly and that you were ready to burst at any given moment. “We don’t have time Javi.” You speak merely in interest of wanting to get done before you were interrupted one way or another.

“I know baby.” He kisses the tops of your thighs, you can feel the plush skin of his lips through the tears. “Next time.” He tears a hole through one leg, immediately kissing and laving at the supple skin with his tongue before tearing the other leg free and throwing the ruin pile of pantyhose over his shoulder.

He continues to press your legs open, strong hands gripping onto your thighs hard enough to leave bruises. He kisses over your sex, letting the scrap of underwear dampen the feeling until he can feel you tilt and cant your hips against his face. Begging silently to experience everything he’s put in your mind over years of sexual tension and stories under the guise of a casual friendship. Your underwear is off the second you ask, his mouth is on you as hungry as the first kiss.

Licking flat stripes up your center, dipping into your sex and gathering the sweet taste of your slick on his tongue before letting it dribble over the tight swollen bud of your clit. He circles it with his lips, sucking and flicking with his tongue until your hand finds its way into his hair and not letting up until you beg for him to stop, spent and grateful.

[utilitycaster]

to elaborate on Indri and cross over a bit into Critical Role's current plot (spoilers for both WBN and CR):

Indri, Witch of the Wind and Stars, embodies a domain of the self, independence, and self-sufficiency. She lives at the north pole in a beautiful castle surrounded by an immensely hostile environment.

In the current arc, and specifically in the current episode, she has engineered a plot to dismiss the domain of the World's Heart, the seat on the Coven of Elders pertaining to community, humanity, and connection, held by Ame (Erika's PC). Such a dissolution of the domain would mean the death of Ame, its recently ascended witch.

Ame is able to save herself and her seat thanks to the help of her friends, particularly Suvi's (Aabria's PC) knowledge and intelligence gathering and Eursulon's (Lou's PC) fluency in the language of spirits. Through this group effort, as well as other adventures that put the coven's founder, Hakea, Witch of the Wandering Green, on their side, they learn that the coven cannot end their gathering with only four remaining witches lest the covenant that created it be dissolved.

It comes out in the final meeting that one of the other witches, Mirara, didn't know that destroying Ame would destroy the coven, and Hakea realizes that the plan was actually to also get rid of Mirara, leaving a coven of 3. Ame smooths this all over before it turns into actual violence by pointing out that perhaps Indri's intention was to inaugurate new witches (which they can do); but a crucial nat 20 insight reveals to her that Indri, in pursuing the power of unanimity within the coven (and perhaps leaning in too hard to her role) had intended to whittle the coven down to one: herself. She was possibly behind the more recent dissolving of two other seats. But Ame keeps that insight to herself, and Indri does recover as best she can and at least outwardly behave with all the generosity and kindness of a host and equal towards Ame from there on out, acknowledging the kindness Ame showed her and the debt she owes.

Brennan outright says it on the fireside: this confrontation ends because Ame has a bunch of friends and companions and is good with people and gains the support they provide. It also ends with the ancient, powerful, experienced witch of self-sufficiency needing to be rescued by the nascent, level 3 witch of community.

I think this is really helpful too in understanding why Ludinus Da'leth is such an unsympathetic figure. Matt said he found connection "beneath him". King Imathan Talviel of Uthodurn said he seemed stuck in the past and would not share his gifts nor engage in the community of Molaesmyr other than to heckle the priests. Ludinus himself doesn't say he was abused or pressured by those around him in his youth to follow the gods, only "told"; while this could be understatement, at least as told it seems as though he took other people's choice to find meaning in something he despised as a personal attack. The Cerberus Assembly is famously a nest of backstabbing strivers and its members don't care for him. The Vanguard is similar; Otohan thought little of him (and he of her), as does Zathuda, and while Liliana says he trusts her, she has her own doubts and Ludinus has said little of her other than to dangle her before Imogen. Essek, 7 years ago, told him to try making friends and he does not appear to have listened, and then, when he approaches Bells Hells (already a group hostile to him, due to him trying to feeblemind, attack, kill, and otherwise thwart them repeatedly) he acts as if he's doing them a favor and refuses to answer their questions, take responsibility for any of his actions, or give credit where due.

I suspect Indri will continue to be an antagonist and that some of her behavior is a front, but she is, at least, able to admit that she faltered and Ame did her an undeserved kindness, and in doing so she appears at least a little sympathetic. Ludinus's refusal to make any sort of connection to others seems to have left him utterly miserable within inches of a near-millennium-long goal. He's asking Bells Hells, people he's wronged in horrible and life-changing ways, to grant him a gift he seems to have scorned and rejected for his entire life; at least Indri recognized a freely offered one she did not particularly deserve for what it was. At some point, you do run out of chances.

[marabarl-and-marlbara]

Hi Mara, do you think it’s at all possible to force oneself to enjoy things one usually doesn’t, or do you think it is like chirality and one’s “natural” interests and proclivities are not subject to change? I can’t help but feel stupid and like a liar to myself when trying to live healthier, or be productive and work on myself. It’s just fake, I don’t really care, and so the good habits never stick, but accepting myself for who I am, an empty lazy slob with no real interests, doesn’t feel too good either.

Hi anonymous, thank you for the opportunity for me to yap -- I haven't gotten a good opportunity in awhile :-))

'Naturalness' is weighty and ought not have much to do with the self outside of chirality (if you are approaching it from a Maraist standpoint): all that is, is not much more than confusing shadows that are manipulated by outside actors to stimulate you and draw you in-to the performance, to keep you engaged and connected--I wouldn't believe another person if they told me they a) believe this, and b) live in accordance to the belief of this, as the best way to depart from the actors and their game is to self-depart and un-live, and the dead do not weigh in on much cept soil and dirt.

WITHIN CONFUSION, when I'd been thinking about answering this initially I'd been thinking that I can barely relate to you, anonymous, as most of the 'need' to fake interests seems to be related wholly to connectiveness and those whom we find ourselves connected to, ie: faking acceptance of political issues that match the odorous vibe of the friend group when deep-down the thought needles and smarts, or: someone you care about showing you something that immediately makes you think this is the dumbest thing I have ever seen but I want this person in my life so I'll say something warm, or etcetera; connection itself is a long smear of the self (small and insignificant like a little mustard seed amongst grain) to bury it in a greater body such that the color and timbre is lost amongst the neighbors, as the self is made to become a neighbor, and the self itself is but an echo of the word trapt in fat and mud (or, on the other hand: an echo of the mud trapt in shrill songs and migraine colors); you are, by design, made to be subject to a Gravity and pressurized down away from heaven, and away from self--that is the natural-way;

WITHIN CONFUSION, and less unnecessarily esoteric and verbose and stupid: I don't really believe in 'fixing' yourself one way or the other; I eat the same yogurt concoctions every morning because I struggle thinking of a better temperature/texture combination, but I am getting tired of it--and if I were to extrapolate this out, I think of etiquette-breaks like 'psychiatric profiles' an attempt at suggesting that "Mara will, and forever will, be a breakfast yogurt-lover" though all my life I'd been held over a candle and slowly melted into a yogurt-lover-shaped mold and been made to set that way. The issue I had with struggling to relate is, because I'm fairly lonely and private lately, I do not really have much other than myself to compare my 'likes' and 'dislikes' to. It is very easy for me to not bother forcing myself on-to a dislike, because there aren't many Gravities to pressure me lately. But that isn't completely true; taking cold showers, for instance: hated this but kept up with it; waking up at 4am and cleaning the house and exercising for at-least an hour: hated this, but now it is just an excuse for me to listen to more Stephen King audiobooks before breakfast; morning prayer, same as the morning routine. For some things it really has just been truth to me that if you are forced to adjust, you will adjust--a person can not be passionate forever in their dislikes or hates, same way a honeymoon fades; what you love will become a tired routine (me and yogurt), what you hate will become a tired routine (me and waking up at 4am and jogging), but if you give yourself breaks eventually you allow those feelings to melt and recollect and be subject to passions and not-set as routine.

My failings, anonymous: me and drawing and writing--never been able to force myself to do these; I struggle with forcing myself to abide the word and forbid myself from listening to music completely; even though I have no problem with the vegan diet itself and had a pretty solid run with it: couldn't stop obsessing over "every-thing I hadn't yet tried" and death looming over my head (as it seemed) made the dietary sacrifices seem even more painful and pathetic and done wholly out of some forced desire to be Pure and Saintly (yet on the inside begging sin and dirt no better than a lunatic rat clawing at a cupboard). On food and diet, though: I used to be obese from middle-school to high-school and basically forced myself to exercise/diet pretty strictly out of (as you said) not liking myself as a slob--and I still am driven more-so out of a desire (fear) to not be fat, not be unhealthy, not be a slob, not be ugly--because I am scared of all of those things; it was easy enough to convince myself that eating more than 4 pieces of cereal for breakfast was a gluttonous amount of food and then slowly watch my hair fall out and lose the ability to stand from fatigue--somehow that was less scary than being fat. As well, there's just a mechanical motivation from being intensely sick from diet; if I eat the wrong thing or eat too much I end up bedridden for several days from migraines (the fear imposed from this makes it hard to seek-out trigger foods).

This part isn't even slightly helpful (likely the latter parts, too) but I think regarding diet and food specifically, it helps a lot being open to liking a lot of foods and shaking out what you think you dislike. I might be super privileged there because (although I have some preferences that I stick to ala yogurt for breakfast and wraps) I mostly do not dislike any food, and can only really think of disliking artichokes/brusselsprouts (I hear they're good if you fry them in oil but that is most things..) and badly prepared liver; I love veggies and fruits.

IN CONCLUSION, anonymous, I don't think any of this is particularly good advice and I think a better thing to analyze (than what I wrote) is what you wrote to me, how you refer to yourself, and how you're laying pitfalls for yourself. This world is made to bury you in gravity and lose you in soil, smeared under layer-after-layer of connection until you're convinced you are wax over a candle dripping down into some strange form, and those confusing shadows keep on whispering and whispering and then your mind is looking up out of a mold. Are you unable to force your likes to change? Are you someone who is unable to care about improving yourself? Do you really dislike being a slob? Who are you, anonymous?

To me: you are anonymous; take care, anonymous.

[dollypopup]

sorry, still on this soapbox but

we have really, REALLY done Colin a disservice in this fandom. we spent so long viewing him primarily as a Love Interest and not as a Character. But when we see and analyze him as a character, so many of his actions make sense, and it becomes almost ridiculous, the dynamics we've imposed on this couple (yes, I'm talking about the 'Colin fucked up and needs to prove himself to Penelope' narrative) when there's so much more nuance and beauty to their pairing than we give them credit for

we as the audience focus so much on Penelope's perspective in their relationship, of course, because we have so much of her perspective in the show, and so our frustrations with Colin stem from that, but we get more insight into him than Penelope does. The 'I would never court her' scene that we've been livid over for years is considerably softened when we actually look at Colin as a character, and the circumstances around his actions.

Colin spends season 2 SAD. He is straight up not okay. We leave Colin in Season 1 freshly heartbroken and running away to Greece to heal. In Season 2, we meet him again, considerably more somber. Colin doesn't participate in the dances. He even says 'I'm just a spectator'. Colin talks about how he started a conversation with himself, tried to understand what he wants and how he feels. Colin offers Benedict shroom tea, and for a moment, JUST A MOMENT, we see the facade slip. His mask cracks. 'Are you quite alright, brother?' and then it's gone. Then he's cheerful again. Calm Colin. Nice Colin.

Colin who is okay.

But Colin is *not* okay. Colin completely isolates himself from women. Colin doesn't flirt, doesn't entertain female attention. Colin is heartbroken, trying to be better. But he views Penelope as a friend, a sacred relationship, a worthwhile relationship, and he can't bear to lose her. To him, Penelope is arguably his closest friendship. His best friend. And in an entire town full of people who don't listen to him, he thinks Penelope does. Unlike the typical dynamic of the ton, in which men are ONLY speaking to women by viewing them as potential sexual partners, Colin views Penelope as a whole person. She doesn't just exist as a romantic option to him, but as a vital connection in his life. That's why the 'I am a woman' 'You are. . .Pen' is so important to view as an act of love- Penelope is NOT just a woman as the ton sees her, good for marriage prospects and little else, Penelope is a complete person. Yes, she's a woman, but more importantly, she's PEN. She's a full human being. And he values her as such. We cannot say the same for the grand majority of men in his society. Tell me any other male-female friendships like that in the ton where that level of respect is given?

But for Penelope, it's hurtful, because she WANTS to be seen as a romantic option in his eyes. That's a fair feeling, though we as an audience should recognize that it can be both upsetting to Pen, and also deeply beautiful as a sentiment. Because of Penelope's hopes of Colin as a romantic prospect, she does not see that he is hurting. Because of our connection as a fandom to Penelope, we do not see it, either. But he *is* hurting. In all of Season 2 he's hurting. That's why he throws himself into the Jack mess. He wants, NEEDS a distraction. He wants to find a place in his world, his society. Honestly? He needs a win. He has spent the last year losing and losing and losing. Who can blame him for being sick of it? His engagement blows up, he finds out his family pays no attention to him, that no one cares about his agency, and he's publicly humiliated. If he invests, if he makes money, he might make more male connections. Might run in more important circles. Like his brothers do. Might prove himself. But Colin isn't friends with the men of the ton. We don't see ANY evidence that he has strong friendships with any of them. Because he isn't like them.

He is 22 years old. Treated like a child in his own family. When he talks about his travels, no one listens. Everyone dismisses him. 'Remarkable, yes, in the sense that I have many remarks about it'. Colin is invisible. He is trying to slot himself in his community, but he does not fit neatly into it. He connects with Will, a man outside his community, and Penelope, a woman also outside his community, because *Colin* exists outside his community. He's the foolish boy who fell headfirst for a woman who lied to him. He's the 'green' baby walking in his older brother's footsteps and unable to fill them. He doesn't behave the way other men of the ton do. He doesn't talk like other men of the ton do. Hell, he *apologizes* to women. We have men NOW in the MODERN ERA who don't even apologize to women.

His own *mother* doesn't even notice he was dating someone for several months in season 1. Colin is a pretty, empty ghost wandering around Mayfair, and so of course he's thrown into a locker room conversation with a bunch of guys who have never once seen a woman as a person, and doesn't relate to them. Colin's not joking and having fun with these men. We very purposefully do not see his reaction after he delivers the 'I would never court her' line.

Colin is uncomfortable around them, but he needs their help to make it up to Will, someone who was kind to him and who he looks up to. He has the mask on so firmly in that scene, it's physically obvious to see. If you compare his reactions around Penelope to his reactions around Fife, it's stark. With Penelope he's open, his eyes are soft, his expression is curious and kind, his shoulders are relaxed. Around Fife he's closed off, eyes hard, muscles tense. Who can blame him? He's acting. He's acting just like he's acting around Jack.

When we look at Colin as a whole character, we get insight into his actions and they make SENSE. The things he say that hurt Penelope are things that are actually defending her- Colin saying he wouldn't court her to those men in particular, is an act of caring. He is defending her in that scene. When a debutante is only good for being 'wed, bed, and bred' in their eyes, Colin saying no, that Penelope is worth more than that, that his connection to her isn't forged on wanting to fuck her, or exploit her, or treat her as a sexual object, is radical. Because anything else, ANYTHING else that he says that isn't an outright denial, puts Penelope in danger. He can't let them believe that the woman he cherishes so deeply he cannot even ENTERTAIN the idea of not talking to her is out here being ruined by his hands.

And when we see it that way, we see that, in reality, of all the men in the series, Colin is the one who has been kindest to his love interest. Colin is the one who has defended her, the one who has stuck his neck out for her, the one who has cared for her with absolutely no expectations of sex or romance in return.

Colin's relationship to Penelope is beautiful, and sure, she can be upset that it isn't in the exact shape she wants it to be, but I think if she takes a step back and looks at it more objectively, if WE take a step back and look at it more objectively, Colin has only ever gone into it with a big, earnest heart. Not PERFECTLY, of course, he isn't perfect, but with the best intentions, and with as much honesty as he can.

And I don't know why we don't celebrate him more for it

[heathersdesk]

One of my favorite follows on TikTok is Reverend Oliver, a trans pastor in West Virginia whose whole thing is trying to teach leftist people how to shed their worst impulses and inclinations to be better members of their communities. He is a firm advocate for genuine connection, leftist cooperation and community building with those on the right, and the kind of activism that is truly transformative and leaves no one behind.

He made a post, in an ongoing conversation about ways for leftists to identify opportunities to connect with their larger communities, that listed some of the fronts where leftists need to consider society's unmet needs. He included child care and elder care on that list. He also included addiction recovery resources.

Seeing an opportunity for the kind of interfaith connection he's always talking about, I pointed out that the LDS Church has free addiction recovery programs that anyone in the public is invited to attend, regardless of religious affiliation. And unlike other resources like the bishop's storehouse, no interaction with ecclesiastical leadership is necessary or expected. You can just show up, get support, and leave without any expectation of obligation, financial or otherwise, to our church. And honestly, a healthy dose of reality for the program from voices outside of our own community might temper some of the attitudes in our own community about pornography and compulsive masturbation being equivalent to an addiction.

So tell me why a random ex-Mormon took it upon themselves to begin an argument with me in Rev. Oliver's comments about the LDS Church leadership and past animosity towards queer people, that it isn't a safe space for them, that all queer people are forced into conversion therapy (which is false), and people show up in ARP with things that aren't even addictions.

Even after I told that person I'm queer affirming, that I believe these are things the Church can and does need to change, that I have actively been working on those improvements through my church membership since Prop 8, they just kept going. I became the dumpster for their unresolved anger towards the institution, even though I'm a total stranger and have nothing to do with anything they were complaining about. I have never put any queer people into conversion therapy and never would. I'm not Dallin H. Oaks and never tortured queer people at BYU. I think the Church has many sins it needs to answer for in relation to its treatment of queer people. At no point did I disagree or argue against anything that was true. For all intents and purposes, this person and I probably agree about a lot of things.

So why were they still attacking me? I'm actively trying to improve what upsets them without invalidating any of their feelings, and they're still upset with me. Why? What more do they want from me?

I find myself in this position with ex-Mormons all the time. With a tenure on Mormon Twitter that went from 2009-2023, I've seen every form and progression of ex-Mormon sentiment that could ever possibly exist. Especially because I left the Church for a time and did so with heartbreaks of my own. They don't know this when they approach me because they have no idea who I am, and I don't expect them to. But the irony is never lost on me that we could honestly be besties if they would shut and stop making assumptions about me long enough to hear what I'm saying.

And I mean that with my whole chest, and with all the self-recrimination that comes with it: ex-Mormons engage people in fights when they have no intentions of listening, achieving understanding, or engaging in constructive resolution with anyone in relation to the Church. They use people for emotional catharsis, and that's all they want from these interactions. I'm just supposed to sit there and take it. That's what they want. That's what they expect. And when I refuse to engage in the process as a receptacle for their disregulated emotions and the shame they want to make me feel, they get mad at me for not giving them what they wanted from me.

They don't see me as a person. They don't respect me or the work I do. They don't actually want to see the Church grow or improve beyond the ways it hurt them in the past because it means the Church and its people were always capable of doing that, just not for them. And they aren't prepared to feel or confront any of that, emotionally or spiritually. All they've ever wanted is a real apology and real change, but when it happens—when someone from the Church genuinely apologizes to them and tells them they deserved better, as I always do—it's not emotionally satisfying at all. The skies don't part, angels don't sing, and they don't feel any better.

It's like that scene from Malcolm in the Middle where Lois finally apologizes to Francis for being abusive to him when he's not expecting it, he freaks out because he had built up what that apology would look like and what it would accomplish in his mind, and he gets mad at Lois for ruining the fantasy in his mind. She doesn't know what to do, so she asks him if $20 would help. He takes the money in a state of confusion, but clearly still doesn't feel any better because it also doesn't help.

So I'm going to say the same thing here that I did there, for when this inevitably happens here: I'm not going to apologize for trying to make the Church a better, safer place for everyone. I'm not going to apologize for my association with the institutional Church, despite its failures and imperfections. I have made peace with my place here, the good I do, the impact I have, and the changes I am making. This is my church too, and despite what people think, there's room for me here. And as long as I'm here, the Church is a better and safer place for marginalized people because I've committed to making it that way. I don't expect anyone to stay when it's safest and healthiest for them to go, but I'm not going to join them. I already tried that and it was a waste of time for me.

If someone decides to place the validation of their choice to leave the Church on my refusal to go with them, that's not my problem. I don't owe anyone that. And their choice to do that doesn't entitle them to use me as an emotional jizz tissue for their anger at (and grief for) the institutional Church and other people in it I've never even met. Put it in a journal or take it to a therapist you pay for. Don't hand it to me, then get offended when I hand it back to you. It's not mine. If you don't want the nasty end results of your emotional outburst, what makes you think I do?

All of this to say to ex-Mormon folks who do this: have some self-reflection. Do you do this to people? Is it healthy? Does it accomplish any of your goals? Is it helping you to become the person you envisioned you would be when you left the Church? Have you fully formed in your mind who that person is? Have you fully and appropriately grieved for everyone and everything you lost? If not, what impact is that choice having on the rest of your life? And should you be doing something about it instead of arguing with me?

Again, don't tell me. Put it in a journal. Tell a therapist. Or, even better, tell the person who actually hurt you. Because telling me isn't going to make you feel better. And you may not realize this yet, but it's tremendously difficult to be me, too. I'm the one telling your parents, siblings, grandparents, friends, neighbors, classmates, colleagues, co-workers, and other people in your life at Church that they need to treat you better—how to do it and what it looks like. You need me. What I do is important. It's also exhausting. And if you use up all of my energy in an argument with you, how am I going to do it? Do you think about that? Do you think about what it costs me to be the person you've already decided it's too exhausting for you to be?

I say this with all the love and encouragement I have: either help me or get out of my way. But don't make my job harder. Why would you do that? It doesn't serve you, me, or anyone else. It just makes you look bitter, makes me less effective at creating the changes you want, and all Mormons (former and current) look like we don't have our shit together. Because this isn't new. Every religious tradition on this planet has had to struggle and figure out how to create space for marginalized people. Every branch of Christianity has had to figure out their relationship to their own queer people, to stop actively hurting them and to embrace them instead. You're a part of this transition, even once you leave, by whether or not you perpetuate this animosity with people who stay. We all have to put down our weapons. The fighting will continue as long as anyone anywhere is still throwing punches.

If you're an ex-Mormon, be the best one there is. Be unbothered and totally disengaged from the Church and its problems. Create the life of your dreams with nothing from the past in it, if that's what you need. When the people in your life direct coercion and manipulation at you in relation to your spirituality and church disaffiliation, return to sender. Be so busy being your own best self, you don't have time for any of this.

That's what you deserve. That's what I want for you. That's what many in the Church who stay want for you, because we're not all selfish pricks who get our jollies from forced homogeneity and making people suffer. That's not even the majority of us. It's the people you're actually mad at. Stop treating us like we're all guilty by association. Have the courage to put the dog turd of your displeasure on their porch where it belongs, not mine.

[lichilly]

"It Will Come Back" — Hozier

Werewolf Joseph AU (Song Analysis)

I heavily encourage you to go listen to this song, either along with the analysis or by itself ! This post won't hold the same weight (in my opinion) if you go in blindly!

(tumblr hates me trying to upload my own mp3.. so I had to link to youtube instead..)

I’ve loved this song for a long time, and as I’ve delved into the Werewolf Joseph AU, I’ve noticed that it heavily relates to how I view werewolf Joseph. This song perfectly portrays the push and pull of Joseph’s internal struggle between his human side and his more feral, werewolf nature. Alright, let's dive in!!

You know better, babe, you know better, babe Than to look at it, look at it like that You know better, babe, you know better, babe Than to talk to it, talk to it like that

These opening lines reflect Joseph’s internal conflict. The “It” throughout the song refers to his werewolf side—a part of him he believes shouldn’t be acknowledged. By referring to it as “It,” Joseph distances himself from this aspect of his identity, as if it’s something separate, something dangerous that could easily latch onto the MC if provoked.

Don't give it a hand, offer it a soul Honey, make this easy Leave it to the land, this is what it knows Honey, that's how it sleeps

This verse speaks to Joseph’s primal nature, which is deeply rooted in him and exists beyond his human control. The line “Don’t give it a hand, offer it a soul” is a warning to the MC. Engaging with Joseph on a deeper level—offering more than just superficial affection—awakens something in him that he struggles to suppress. The "land" here symbolizes Joseph’s instinctual connection to his feral side, which only "sleeps" when left undisturbed.

Don't let it in with no intention to keep it Jesus Christ, don't be kind to it Honey, don't feed it, it will come back

This verse highlights the inevitability of Joseph’s return to the MC if they show him kindness or affection. His feral side cannot be ignored, and the MC’s kindness, fuels Joseph’s obsession. The warning “Don’t be kind to it/don’t feed it” suggests that even a small gesture of kindness has significant effects on Joseph. It awakens a hunger in him.

You know better, babe, you know better, babe Than to smile at me, smile at me like that You know better, babe, you know better, babe Than to hold me just, hold me just like that

This verse echoes the earlier warnings but with a more personal touch. By this point, Joseph and the MC have developed a closer bond. The MC’s smile, their touch—simple, human gestures—have a powerful effect on Joseph. Their growing closeness blurs the lines between affection and danger, making it harder for Joseph to maintain control over his instincts.

I know who I am when I'm alone I'm something else when I see you You don't understand, you should never know How easy you are to need

This verse is crucial in understanding Joseph’s internal struggle. When he’s alone, he has a sense of control over who he is, but the moment he sees the MC, his control begins to slip. He becomes “something else,” his feral nature taking over. The line “you should never know how easy you are to need” reveals how irresistible the MC is to Joseph, a fact that he knows the MC could never fully comprehend.

It can't be unlearned I've known the warmth of your doorways Through the cold, I'll find my way back to you

This lyric can be seen as both literal and symbolic. In the fanfiction I’m writing based around this song, the MC is staying in a cabin in the middle of winter. The cabin represents a warm, safe space, not just physically but emotionally—a place linked to the MC. Joseph feels a sense of warmth and safety in their presence, something he’s never experienced before.

Oh, please, give me mercy no more That's a kindness you can't afford I warn you, baby, each night, as sure as you're born You'll hear me howling outside your door

This verse marks a turning point for Joseph. Here, he fully succumbs to his true nature. The line “You’ll hear me howling outside your door” signifies his complete loss of control. Hozier’s almost growling delivery of this lyric emphasizes Joseph’s transformation—he’s no longer the man he once was, but something far more primal and dangerous. His howling outside the MC’s door is both a warning and a declaration that his obsession has taken over completely.

Don't you hear me howling, babe? Don't you hear me howling, babe? Don't you hear me howling, babe? Don't you hear me howling? Don't you hear me howling? Don't you hear me howling, babe?

This is my favorite part of the song ( no surprise there hehe). The repeated question, “Don’t you hear me howling?” serves as SUCH a haunting conclusion. The repetition, combined with the loud drumbeat that, to me, mimics knocking on a door, suggests desperation. The haunting, eerie nature of these lines reflects the idea that Joseph is no longer fully in control—he is now fully driven entirely by his feral nature and his obsession with the MC.

-

I hope you enjoyed this analysis! It was quite difficult trying to wrangle all my buzzing thoughts together but alas, I have done it. If you're interested in learning a little more about the werewolf AU you can find more about it over on my twitter linked at the top! Fair warning, most of it is incoherent rambles asdjldkfa

[daphdarling]

Haikyuu matchups? =0 yes please!! =D

she/her, Aries Star + Taurus Rising, ENTP. I'm pan so any gender is fine with me =)

Personality: I'm usually a very optimistic and cheerful person. I have little to no volume control. I'm very open and friendly. I have a dark sense of humor. I'm a procrastinator with the attention span of a dragonfly. Not sure if it matters but I'm autistic and waiting on an ADHD diagnosis. I can read people's emotions pretty easily, and while I might not be the best at comforting people, I try my best!! As for flaws, I'm impulsive. I tend to act/speak before my brain can catch up with what I'm about to do, which causes problems often. I'm indecisive, stubborn, and a bit dishonest. I've been told I brighten up people's days, though sometimes I wish I knew how to brighten up my own day. I get frustrated and annoyed easily, and I'm very sensitive. People have told me I'm chaotic, though I'm not sure if I am. I'm energetic though, which might be why I'm drawn to people who are calm and have a comforting presence. I have a bad habit of picking/chewing on my fingernails.

Romance: My love language is physical affection. I'm a huge fan of subtle PDA. If I have a partner, I will hold their hand EVERYWHERE and give them random cheek/forehead kisses. Quality Time is also very important to me, and although sometimes this leads to me being clingy, I can tell when my partner needs space. Around my partner, I will try to flirt with them by using insults in a humorous way while also snapping at anyone who dares insult them. I will also try to learn more about their interests, and show them my own interests. I often find myself drawn to softies people who can balance me out. I often like to say I want a moon to my sun, though I'd also want them to be a bit similar to me so we have stuff to bond over.

Hobbies and random likes: I love listening to music! Mother Mother, Crane Wives, occasionally some Cavetown or Lana Del Ray. I also like to watch cartoons and play videogames. I love to come up with various food combinations, such as BBQ sauce on tacos or putting Cheetos in my ham sandwiches. I like singing too! I love the color orange, especially pastel orange. I also like sharks, reading articles on activism, and journalism. I love perfumes that have REAL smells, like mint and lemon and vanilla. I like collecting stickers, and temporary tattoos. My body is a canvas, and I intend to cover it head-to-toe in art. I also collect plushies!! And, of course, Indie Rock/Indie Folk music has my heart and soul forever.

Looks: short curly hair(side-shave) dyed bright blue, kinda flat, dark brown eyes, acne scars, 5'2(I'm not sure if that counts as short or tall)

Other: I have a pet hermit crab named Rocky and he is my son. When I grow up I want to grow the family and get a smol turtle!!

Dam... I just realized how long this is... I'm sorry for making you read all this ToT if it makes you feel better I think your blog is very pretty and I like it a lot, especially the aesthetic. I hope you have a great day!! =) here, have a song recommendation as a thank-you/congratulations for reading all this: Pelicans We by Cosmo Sheldrake

YOUR MATCHUP IS…

KEI TSUKISHIMA!!!

Personality Match:

Tsukishima is clever, a bit sarcastic, and has a darker sense of humor, which complements your own. While he can be reserved, he’s also capable of understanding emotions, making him a good fit for your empathetic nature.

Romantic Connection:

Tsukishima can be playful with his teasing, and your humorous insults would resonate with him. He appreciates quality time but doesn’t need constant attention, so he’d respect your need for space while also enjoying your affectionate nature.

Hobbies and Activities:

He enjoys reading and has a keen interest in strategy, which could lead to engaging conversations about various topics, including your interests in activism and journalism. You could bond over your shared moments, whether watching cartoons or discussing music.

Looks and Vibes:

Tsukishima’s tall and slightly aloof demeanor contrasts nicely with your bright energy. His calm presence would provide a balance to your impulsiveness, creating a dynamic relationship.

Final Thoughts

Together, you’d have a relationship filled with witty banter and deep conversations. Tsukishima’s understanding nature would help you navigate your feelings, while your lively spirit would bring excitement and fun to his life. You’d challenge and inspire each other beautifully!

[bengiyo]

Marahuyo Project Eps 5 & 6 Stray Thoughts

Last time, Lorie decided to befriend King and Venice, and joined their club. When someone spray painted the mural of Ino’s ancestor, the other kids and dean blamed King, but Lorie stepped forward to claim she did it as well. The queer club was punished with community service to clean the beach, and the three bonded over their time together. We learned that Lorie’s queer awakening is complicated by her anger at her father’s infidelity (and men as a whole as a result). We learned about a young person who died on the beach, revealed to be a close friend of Venice’s and Archie named Christina. Archie refuses to use Christina’s name because he believes it was her queerness that got her killed, and it’s why he’s trying to protect Venice by demanding she withdraw from her expression of herself. We also learned that Ino’s dad likely left their family for a queer relationship, Ino is admittedly falling for King, and his mom told him directly to not be gay. Also, King’s mom cut his hair in his sleep and I am still pissed about it.

Episode 5: Hunyango

I do love the bits of history and mythology we get at the beginning of each episode. I liked how this one highlighted the journeys of many of the characters.

Few things more powerful than a bunch of out kids enjoying an early morning strut. Poor Lorena, though. She wasn’t ready for this divide between her and Lili.

Oh good. It was just Ino with a torch. I clearly play too much d20 fantasy.

The kids are right. Naming things is hard.

Growing up, my dad thought I might become a priest.

I respect this line that Venice is walking in the conversation with Archie to reach through his walls.

Oh wow. Archie is so stressed that he’s scratched up the whole back of his neck. That’s uncomfortable.

Aw, Venice. I’m enjoying the brainstorming session. It’s good to model what planning communication with people not predisposed to listen to you. I also love that they decided to build their plan around the local context of Marahuyo and then immediately transitioned to Lorie legitimately doing research about her home.

Lorie, your friend looks worried. Can you not look at her lips like you wanna kiss her right now?

Whoa, what’s going on with Lili? Are we going beyond the Q in the acronym?

Ino is also correct. You cannot frame a presentation around a local context without directly engaging with the locals who are the context.

🎶 Flashback! Who’s that?? 🎶

Oh, Ino, what have you been through that you thought to ask before hugging King?

I’m very curious about the statue they uncovered on the beach.

Hold on, did Venice add Christina’s name to hers as a way to honor her? I need to lay down for a bit.

Ah, so we’re definitely going into rare presentation with Lili. I am seated (once I get off the floor from the last bullet).

Oh no. Please stop showing me Archie’s neck. It’s a good visual to show how these internalized pressures and traumas express in physical ways, but oof.

Episode 6: Sirena

Super amped about these kids taking the research component seriously within their specific connections. Lorie got info that her dad has access to as the mayor. Venice got info from the church through Archie. King got equipment so they can conduct interviews. Now they’re all gathered and reviewing the information they have.

“Joining us as an ally.” Wow, so many points to this show for reminding people that sometimes an ally is someone who isn’t ready to or can’t come out. In any case, they are with us in the movement.

Poor Venice. She just doesn’t know things.

Hold on…I think I recognize the Lola Puri actress. I will look her up when we get to the credits.

Good job on this show for priming people with the earlier lesson about babaylans for this reveal here.

Boys, are we doing a gay pinkie touch during the critical history lesson?

Hey, this is really good. They have an oral history now connecting a prized tradition to the yearnings of a respected ancestor for another man who turned on him in a cruel way. Unfortunately, the villain of this story happens to be one of Ino’s ancestors. Sad, but unsurprising, that a homophobe gained prominence for outing and robbing a queer man.

I’m really touched by how all of the kids had such an emotional reaction to the story and how it reflected some of their own feelings. I deeply appreciate this show for letting me see others experience how queer history feels for me.

Goddamit, Marco, I was enjoying a complicated, difficult moment. Can you fuck off?

Thank you, Lili, for destroying this man. Make sure to hydrate.

Who is this man at the dinner table in Ino’s house? It’s probably not the dad, right?

And there it is again: Venice telling Archie that courage isn’t built around coming out. He still helped them where it counted.

I’m so sick of this priest.

I do love Juvy. She’s usually so correct and King actually listens to her.

“Who are you?” “Incorrect answer! I already know your name.”

On the real. I’m so proud of Ino. The first person you have to say it to is yourself.

Oh noooo. This is probably actually Ino’s dad. This scene is about to get even uglier.

Mmmm. I don’t like Lili giving up her shorts and then immediately going to a scene where she has to get rough with Marco.

Wow, this is horrible. What a way to end this episode.

I did recognize the Lola actress! That's Angie Castrence! I knew it was Gavreel’s homophobic aunt from Gameboys 2! This was a great 6th episode with very clear ideas and goals. This episode focused completely on coming out, who it’s for, and whether it’s necessary. I like that we had three characters all scared to come out, but it’s eating away at all of them. Archie is literally tearing his neck apart in anxiety. Ino is say gay and in love that it’s leaking out of him, to the point that he was forced to confront his own mom. Lili has been outed by Marco. I love that all of our out characters reassured our closeted characters that they didn’t need to come out. Can’t believe I’ve got two shows in contention for show of the year right now.

[bookishwithathought]

ACOSF Bonus Chapter Breakdown Part VI - Azriel and Gwyn

Part I - Azriel and Elain

Part II - Azriel and Elain

Part III - Azriel and Rhys

Part IV - Azriel and Rhys

Part V - Azriel and Gwyn

**This is just me, analyzing the life out of the bonus chapter and all the possibilities. My thoughts and no one else's. If you agree, great. If you disagree, love it. If you want to share why you disagree, love it even more. If you are disrespectful while disagreeing, I kindly request that you move along and if you insist you will be left to argue with yourself**

Gwyn is inviting Azriel to banter with her.

Despite Azriel's intense emotions buried underneath, he finds himself having a moment of respite in Gwyn's presence.

Quite the fitting word for what is happening in this scene.

Azriel sleeps with many daggers. Possibilties:

He doesn't feel safe, even with enough killing power to require 7 siphons. Even with centuries of training, experience and enduring pain and suffering. It's as though he can never have enough options with which to protect himself, to cover any vulnerability.

2. He has been trained to always be prepared for any situation.

For most of the series so far, the shadows are either lingering around Az and not engaging with others or they are acting according to Azriel's emotions and reactions. I can only think of one instance where they interacted with another character directly:

From ACOMAF (emphasis mine):

The spymaster had waited in silence. I tried not to look too uncomfortable as he scooped me into his arms, those shadows that whispered to him stroking my neck, my cheek.

Even then, we don't know if they stroked her neck and cheek because of her proximity to Az or because the shadows sought her out of their own accord.

In this case, the shadows are choosing to engage with Gwyn.

{If the shadows are simply manifestations of Azriel's emotions as some claim them to be, then this shows Azriel is intrigued by or curious about Gwyn.}

The imagery of his shadow dancing with her breath: whimsical, a moment of reprieve, of contentedness. Adds a playful mood to the air.

"Like it heard some silent music"

Possibilities:

This is a hint of the mating bond the shadow is detecting

The shadow can sense Gwyn's unknown powers

Gwyn has a beautiful voice and the shadow can sense it in her breath

{For someone who claims to not need to resort to poetry, Az surely seems to be stumbling a bit here.}

He could have stopped the conversation at any point, yet he continues to engage with Gwyn, extending the moment by asking a question in return.

Gwyn is using the mention of the service as a segue to ask Azriel if he sings, not only continuing the conversation but also moving it into a more personal space. If I were to follow her line of thought, it would probably be:

"Yes, though the service was the main highlight."

The service > singing > Shadowsinger > "Do you sing?"

"She angled her head"

Head angling is also known as head tilt, which is considered a micropositive in body language.

Micropositive: the positive small nonverbal cues humans send to each other conveying engagement, rapport, curiosity, support, listening, attention.

This shows genuine engagement by Gwyn.

but...Gwyn managed to surprise Azriel with a personal question.

"I am a shadowsinger"

This statement leaves no room for doubt where Azriel's shadows are concerned. They are a permanent part of Az.

Azriel has come to expect a certain response or reaction to his position, title and abilities. Yet here Gwyn is reacting or responding to him as she would any other ordinary person, which is quite unfamiliar to Azriel and perhaps even refreshing.

Azriel diverts from Gwyn's question with that statement. Gwyn guides his focus back by repeating the question.

By insisting on the question, it's possible Gwyn is trying to find something they share in common. She might be trying to add positive layers to their connection since until now it's mostly been due to the events of Sangravah.

"Azriel couldn't help his soft chuckle"

I think Azriel is someone who feels deeply yet has learned to keep a tight control on his emotions because of all he's endured with his family and as an Illyrian. He is hesitant to even show when he is content, happy or amused. It's always encouraging to see small moments like this, where some of the control is loosened and he can just be in the moment.

Possibilties:

Azriel realizes the conversation is becoming too personal and he wants to keep it surface level

He's too embarrassed to sing in front of Gwyn (or anyone, since we've never read a hint of him singing)

He's still reeling from the night's events and wants to move onto neutral territory

He deflects by leading their encounter into an imprompu sword lesson.

Gwyn reacts in surprise that Azriel would want to watch her

A challenge presented, a challenge accepted: Instead of being embarrassed or afraid to fail in front of Azriel, Gwyn doesn't cower. She rises up to the challenge.

Just as Gwyn training at night gives her focus and distraction, this lesson is giving Azriel focus and distraction. A parallel between these characters.

There are rare moments where Azriel is this open and communicative. One other moment is when he is training Feyre on flying. Training and teaching gives Azriel focus and he seems to genuinely enjoy helping others grow and learn.

Gwyn has seen Azriel at his most merciless, his most ruthless, his most violent, when he arrived in Sangravah and killed every Hybern soldier as she watched it happen. And still, she is treating him as just another familiar person. This is encouraging for her story, that she isn't allowing her traumatic experience to forever inform her life or interactions with the opposite sex.

Gwyn blaming Cassian in a lighthearted manner brings an easiness to the moment, helping both of them relax and be disarmed around each other. We can see this by Azriel laughing openly and Gwyn smiling broadly in response.

The Duchenne smile comes to mind here

TO SETTLE:

Possibilities of "something restless settling in him"

Azriel came to the training ring with very strong emotions, wants and needs and the interaction with Gwyn allowed him time to calm down

Gwyn has the abilitiy, whether by her character or by magic, to make others around her comfortable and restful

Gwyn is his mate and the mating bond on his side has been chafing and restless within him, building in intensity overtime, but now that it has found its way to her it can calm down until it snaps into place. {If this is the case, it makes one wonder if the bond is a living thing. Not necessarily sentient, but rather a living thread pulling both mates together for their whole life, whether the mates accept the bond or reject it.}

The shadows calming, lounging and watching:

This is the first and only time we see the shadows so invested in an interaction between Azriel and another character. As though they want this interaction to happen, or to continue. Or to see how it develops.

Another example of Azriel being considerate.

We see Gwyn's determined nature highlighted here.

It's important to note Gwyn being labeled as a warrior sizing up an opponent through Azriel's POV. This is how he sees her.

I think the focus should be on courage here. Azriel saw Gwyn at her most fragile, then didn't see her for two years while she stayed exclusively in the library. Now here she is, training. That is courageous.

Later in the book, during the Blood Rite, we see her embody definition #1, as well as show vigor and aggressiveness.

Earlier in the passage Azriel notes Gwyn engaged with him irrevently, and now we can see he considers it charming, as a positive quality. In short, he appreciates that she treats him as an equal, as ordinary.

This reminds me of the compositional technique in music of Call and Response.

Link to the article

Possibilities:

Gwyn was singing as she trained, as she is prone to do, and the shadows responded positively to her singing, as they have been since their first interaction

The mating bond is awakening after being dormant, which is why Azriel heard it and the shadows answered.

Azriel is extremely tired and is hearing things

To be continued...