#IM MANIFESTING A HAPPY ENDING FOR THESE KIDS EVEN IF IT KILLS ME

[stormyoceans]

Idk if you saw but the director or writer of NLMG tweeted today saying 'don't necessarily expect a happy ending' What???? Is this strange for the guy to put a dampner on the series before it starts???

WAS ABOUT TO PANIC AFTER READING THIS but i did some research and im bringing you some good news!!!!

if you're referring to this tweet, the one who wrote it is actually the actor who plays nueng's uncle, and we know from the trailers that he isn't happy about his nephew taking over the business as head of the family, but is actually coveting that title for himself and his son. im not saying this is enough of a reason not to believe his words, but it does put things more in perspective: the man is playing the main villain of the show, and putting on his 'character voice' to promote the series can be a good selling technique (in another tweet, for example, he introduced perth as his son). it's definitely a great way to fuel the discussions around the show and keep people guessing about what is or isn't gonna happen

for what is worth im willing to put my clown shoes on and say that, despite the pain they will undoubtedly put us through, im tentatively optimistic about palmnueng having a happy ending. this has no real basis except the two of them having an episode in our skyy 2, but somehow i feel like GMMTV wouldn't include them in it if this is gonna end in tragedy

ANYWAY [clown shoes squeaking] TIME TO BE DELUSIONAL

[herearedragons]

happy storyteller saturday! v specific lol but tell me about watcher selene! I keep seeing the tag in my notifs and now im curious 👀

yes hello hi I would love to tell you about Selene! also I'm making this the "Selene for people who don't know Pillars of Eternity" post, if you don't know the videogame but want to understand who the blue girl is. this is the place

the basics are that she's my Pillars of Eternity (videogame) OC, she's touched by Ondra (goddess of the moon, sea and oblivion) from birth which made her blue and glowy with horns (rather than a normal elf like her parents), and she's psychic! she reads minds! she hears everyone's thoughts, especially the painful ones, and she can't make it stop!!

(also she's kind of my main guy (gender neutral) right now and I love her)

more points of interest about her that might explain why I tag the posts I do with her name:

(cw for religious cults, abuse and suicidal ideation)

raised in a cult of Ondra, grew up in a temple. never knew her parents. it was just assumed that since she was marked by The Goddess obviously she was meant to be a priestess. and the thing you need to know about Ondrite worship is that one of its main things is the tradition of Giftbearers, people who collect mementos of traumatic events from people who want to forget said trauma and throw those mementos into the sea. because all forgotten things belong to Ondra and all that belongs to Ondra is forgotten. the idea is that once the reminder of the pain is gone you are free to move on

when Selene was like 12, her psychic powers manifested and she discovered that she can literally erase painful memories from people's minds. which was assumed to be a gift from The Goddess and she was immediately was hailed as some kind of super-Giftbearer. from this point on, people would come to the temple specifically to see her and to have their bad memories taken away. one problem with that: everything Selene erases from someone else's mind, she gets to remember instead of them. after a few decades (pillars of eternity elves live for hundreds of years btw) of doing that, she kind of ran out of room in her brain, and the memories started to overwhelm her

eventually Selene realized she can't do this anymore and that she wants to stop. at which point she was informed that she should ritually drown herself to "complete the cycle" and release the memories into oblivion. Selene refused, on account of she wanted to live, at which point the same priests that raised her attempted to drown her by force and she had to use her psychic powers to kill for the first time to save herself. after killing them she fled her community and spent the next couple of decades living in the wilderness before eventually deciding to try civilization once again, at which point the events of the actual game Pillars Of Eternity find her (which is where the 'watcher' part comes into play. a Watcher is someone who can see soulsa and the game is about you becoming a Watcher. even more voices in Selene's brain)

falls in love with a guy who is a farmer and a war vet and going through his own crisis of faith related to the god of the sun and second chances he used to worship and then kind of helped kill. hey what if we were both temple kids and my god wanted me dead because I have served my purpose of absorbing other people's pain and there's no use for me anymore and your country wanted you dead because you fought in a war to protect it but at the end of the war you had to help kill your god. and what if you had no purpose and my only purpose was Survive and you needed someone to follow and ended up following me. what about it

Ondra tries to kill the farmer war vet guy at one point because she hates to see Selene happy and THAT'S how Selene realizes she loves him in the first place. because Ondra decided to go after him specifically

Selene then proceeds to silently pine for like three years because she doesn't want to find out what Ondra does if she confesses

the farmer guy confesses to her first and Selene goes "well I can't NOT do this"

this is them btw (thank you @layalu I am cherishing this art forever)

also. after the events of the game she joins the country' Psychic Secret Service and becomes a cool telepath spymaster detective kind of deal. also deeply important to me

[rt-lots]

i am late to this. however. 🌻 :)

the thing i want to tell you is I LOVE YOU!! /pee But also amanda the adventurer

the lore/monster of ata actually fucking ruins me it makes me so sad. amanda isnt a murderous monster shes a traumatized MURDERED child who is possessed by a demon that manifests DURING TIMES OF EMOTIONAL DISTRESS. shes like fucking NINE and is stuck in this cycle of like, she cant even PROCESS the insanely fucked up shit she's gone through or else she'll turn into a monster. shes a young little girl who went through so much before being adopted just to LOSE HER DAD (POTENTIALLY AGAIN) AND GET FUCKING POSSESSED BECAUSE A COMPANY BOUGHT HER DADS SHOW... its so unfair and its so upsetting

even in the good ending theres just not like ?? REALLY a happy ending for amanda, at least not yet. the only thing you can do is break the tv but that just breaks the vessel shes in... or not even IN because i think shes in the TAPES not the tv. so. you haven't really done anything except make it not your problem anymore. GRAHHH SHE FINALLY FUCKING. OPENS UP FOR THE FIRST TIME HONESTLY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO HER. SHE GETS *ONE* MOMENT TO TALK WITHOUT THE SHITTY CARTOON VOICE FILTER AND WITHOUT WOOLY AND WITHOUT ANYTHING AND SHE!!! TURNS THE MOST MONSTEROUS SHES EVER BEEEEEEENNNN GRRHGAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH (sound of crying)

ata has good horror i think because instead of just being like "oooh kids show but EEEVIL" its "kids show but evil but more than that horrific implications of child abuse, exploitation, possession and murder behind the scenes"

oh also dont get me started on the wooly is sam colton theory that fucking. it kills me so hard im not gonna be okay ever again

[prince-tulip]

I loved you so much, now everything is fading. I miss your voice, the way your face layed in my hands, the way your body moves when you're walking, the feeling of safety when we hold each other, how everything stands still. I miss you so much.

I never let myself be happy, i destroyed what i knew i was happy with but i feared so many things, fear of being abandoned, fear of not being good enough. Ive tried to understand that what i did was due to trauma, fear, impulsiveness, idealism, devaluing, black and white thinking, people pleasing, not being able to say no, having no boundaries for myself or others, trauma bonds, child regression, unsure self image, severe anxiety, resentment, cognitive distortions, fear of attachment, avoidant personality, always self sabotaging to where i only experience punishment cause thats what i deserve? Or am more familiar with that then feeling stable and happy...questioning constantly if there is a higher meaning to everything and anything, like theres some plan unfolding in front of me constantly to lead me to my "true fate" andddd fucking dealing with hypersexuality, sexual repulsion, unsure of my views on relationships and tradition, financial goals, bringing kids into this world and as well as sexuality, gender, it all just kills me everyday, pushing me further from whoever i was. Whatever good that was left. I can't help but understand i am the villain and i feel as if i manifested this, subconsciously. If i was on edge and in chaos, then only chaos will insure. Im left to question even more now, to question am i capable of love? Receiving love? Do i deserve that? In whatever form? Ive lost someone who i truly loved and should of married and been with for the rest of my life and on top of that, i lost another person who was truly someone that was one of my best friends, all due to my negligence of my disorder/mental health and even when i try to point the finger at this whatever seems plausible or have an explanation, i gas light myself that honestly its not real and im just an awful person who truly just wants pain...I'm left lost, scared, cowardly, soft and i feel the shifting of what would of been everyday and it feels like it burns in my stomach and rises up into my chest, staggering my breathing.

How ironic i always said that everyone always leaves but in reality, they leave because i push them away..its like im watching myself lose these people in my life slowly and just refusing to stop being a crazy person..i was so scared of having regret and shame, that all i ended up was having to face regret and shame.

Shame and fear is DISSOCIATIVE AND DISORIENTING and if i could take those parts of my brain out that cause it, i would. I love everyone that helped shaped me and i only wish to keep those people, in however that must be but man, i didn't realize how bad trauma bonds and child regression and shame was going to play into my life so heavily, i thought i could be Open. Strong. Honest. Make up for some of the wrongs i had done and all i did was just cause more issues...i thought i could have certain people as my friends and have my one person i stay with forever.

I cant believe i hurt people i truly loved.

[lavendersunflwr]

my movie ratings ( my taste are questionable)

Suzume - live laugh love suzume 10/10

Waktu maghrib - shouldve learned my lesson from Qodrat im never watching Indonesian horror movies 3/10

Pengabdi setan 1 and 2 - i actually liked this , i watched it bfr waktu maghrib and qodrat. 8/10

Luckiest girl alive - 8/10

Re/member - an 9/10 girl the way it was perfect but there's a slight plot twist that makes zero sense

A good nurse - 10/10 based on a true story

A chalk line - going in expecting nothing but it gave everything 8/10 i would say its decent

The host - 7/10 Hunger - shes a ten. loved everything about it the acting, metaphor, cinematography and the plot love love love

The sadness – 8/10 if you like gory movie go watch it . I love zombie movies but this one is fucking disgusting cause they still can talk like normal humans. And the scene with the one eyed girl in a wheelchair ughhhhhhhh.

Hard candy –8/10 i feel like it could’ve been better if they actually prove what the guy did and there was this one scene where elliot page castrate the guy it was so disturbing. I love elliot page‘s acting i love the way she talks ughh i just love her. The ritual - 8/10 i usually hate horror movie thats based on a cult or ritual but this one was good and fast paced . Plus there was minimal jumpscare which what i really like in a horror movie. AND what i love about this is that the demon or wtv looks real and was fucking scary . like if i saw that while hiking i wouldve shat my pants and literally let it kill me and rather than being chased by it istg. Dungeon and Dragons - shockingly a 9. the humor and the characters i just love it. they didn't unnecessarily squeeze any romance or whatsoever. love the the cgi i think looks real enough for me. the red witch i think sofina was scary af ngl . would i watch it again on purpose probably not. kids and family friendly approved. even if this love disappears from the world tonight - 10/10 fuck i watched this without knowing what I'm getting myself into. it was so good that i wrote this while watching it. It was all happy and shit IN THE BEGINNING. love the change of POV mid movie. Not for the soft-hearted girls. Definitely will recommend this if you wanna watch a tearjerker. Honestly i relate to izumi so much that it physically hurts me to watch this. in another life they got married with twins and adopted 3 cats. Btw at first i didn't wanna watch this cause the fl and ml used to act together in a drama where the were BESTFRIEND like super platonic, their relationship was like siblings. so yk it feels like incest at first.

your name engraved herein - 7/10 watched it cause people said its sad and suprisingly it actually is the ending was cute tho but i feel like it couldve been shorter plus one - 10/10 manifesting a relationship like this please they are sooooooooooooooooooooooooo funny together.

the hangover -10/10 this would be one of my comfort movie if i need a laugh or just to look at dilf bradley cooper

something borrowed - 7.5/10 I FEEL LIKE THE COUPLE IS CUTE but bcs the guy is engaged to her best friend so its wrong okayy tapi idk theres no way to justify it and wtv. but there was a small plot twist and now everyone is happy . plus ive been searching for 2000s romcom for a while now glad i stumbled into this. plus the FL is so cute.

inception - 10/10 watched it bcs of christopher nolan stayed because of Elliot page if i had known he was in it i would have watched it sooner. plus the cast ,top tier istg.

life - 9/10 watched it for ryan reynold and jake gylenhall. it feels weird watching ryan reynold in a serious movie even though he was still acting like himself. the ending thoooooo i was speechless

made of honor - 5/10 when the guy wears a skirt that shpuld have been a red flag not in a fashionable wayits just doesnt suit him. and honestly the male lead should have realized sooner that he likes hannah. btw i bet hes gonna cheat on her given his history.

bullet train - 1000/10 I LOVE THIS MOVIE SO MUCH THAT I WOULD RECCOMEND THIS EVERY MOVIE NIGHT AND SLAP PEOPLE WHO PLAYS WITH THEIR PHONE

[lilyofthestyx]

Headcanons about each of the lords (+the Duke if you're writing about him) if they ever happen to adopt a little child?

THANK YOU ANON MY THE UNIVERSE BLESS YOU WITH PILLOWS THAT ARE COLD ON BOTH SIDES

okay okay okay okay this has definitely been on my mind so lets get into the thick of it

Alcina Dimitrescu

(im starting off with alcina for obvious reasons)

Alcina would be on the way to the church with the slimy moron, the demented doll, that disgusting manthing and Mother Miranda

She'd kiss her daughters goodbye and head off through the snow, quietly muttering about how cold her ankles were

while Moreau is literally up to his chin in snow but its fine

as she gets closer to the church she keeps hearing this. thing. it sounded familiar but she couldn't exactly put her finger on it.

she strays from the path to find it because it was just so familiar

as she weaves her way through the snow, her dress gets caught on something. she leans down to get her dress unstuck when she realises its this tiny basket.

like seriously. just a little woven basket in the middle of the snow. and it doesn't look like its been there for that long- there's hardly any snow on it

when she tugs at her skirts again, the basket makes the same noise she's been hearing

she stands back up to her full height, staring down at the basket with narrowed eyes

this cannot be a good idea, can it? opening a strange basket in the woods after being lured out here. it's probably some village manthing's trap.

she's about to step away when she hears the sound again- much more intense and much more clear

Alcina leans down and opens the lid of the basket

inside is this tiny thing- all soft and warm in a padding of blankets

a baby

she stands and looks around

who on earth would be so moronic as to leave their baby in the snow? it's much too cold for a baby to survive-

oh

she sighs, getting onto her knees to pull the baby from the blanketed basket

the meeting will have to wait. it's too cold even in the church for this tiny thing.

when she finally makes it back home, she's greeted by her daughters in a swarm of buzzing flies.

as they manifest in their true forms, they're asking what- or who, rather- their mother brought for dinner

Alcina smiles and shakes her head, unwrapping the small bundle clinging to her breast

"this... is your new sibling" she announces, "they'll be staying with us from now on."

and the sisters are ecstatic. a new sibling!

Daniela especially is happy that she is no longer the youngest. she usually is the one to parade around the castle with her sibling on her shoulders, showing them the coolest hiding spots for hide-n-seek and the windows with the best views

Bela is incredibly protective. like. incredibly.

she smelt blood from across the castle and when she found her little sibling sniffling about a skinned knee earned from a game of tag with Angie, she lost her shit and almost broke the damned thing with her sickle

And Cassandra has been caught reading bedtime stories by nightlight multiple times. she tries to play it off but everyone knows that she loves- absolutely adores- her newest sibling

we all know Alcina is such a wonderful mother to the girls so adding another baby to the mix was a guaranteed success

she's so doting and careful (a little overprotective at times but she means well) as she is with her girls

as the child grows into a teen, she panics a bit because "my beautiful baby is growing into such a beautiful, talented adult" so expect a lot of late night visits when she just sits on the edge of her bed and just admires how much you've grown

Salvatore Moreau:

now this one is an easy one too if i'm 100% honest

think Moses type beat

(if you don't know, Moses was found in the riverbank in a little basket)

apparently i really like baskets

anyways

Moreau was so out of his element when he found this tiny, screaming, writhing piece of soft flesh

the first few weeks were rough

but he eventually got the hang of it (with Alcina's help of course)

he would take his child fishing every now and then- just the two of them out on a boat for a few hours

the kid would literally swim more than walk and that little fact would make Moreau so freakin proud

also this kid would be so well-versed in movie and film history it's stupid

like expect this little 4 or 5 year old babbling not about toys or snow or how many sticks they found but instead about the copyright war over the film Nosferatu and the destruction of its copies

Moreau, as the child gets older (like 11 or 12) would have just a tad of trouble trying to keep the kid out of the village

he'd wake up one day and go out onto the lake, expecting his child to be swinging their legs off the dock and watching the sun rise over the water

and when he finds that they were not, in fact, swinging their legs off the dock and watching the sun rise over the water, he p a n i c s

i mean, full blown red alert

all of the lords are summoned to help Moreau look for his missing kid, the lycans are given an article of clothing to help find the scent, Mother Miranda goes to search the village herself- the whole shebang

and when the kid is found playing with the village children, Moreau bursts into tears

needless to say, the kid isn't allowed to go to the village anymore

until they're fifty (Moreau's words, of course)

but the kid sneaks off more and more as they get older, using Alcina or Donna or Karl as an excuse to be away

and Moreau knows but he never says a word

seeing his child happy and free with the kids their age makes him happy, even if he is a tad, a tad, a tad bit nervous

Donna Beneviento:

when Donna found this child huddled up against the base of the stairs leading up to her front door, she at first thought it was a doll of hers

it was only when she actually walked outside that she realised it was this shaking, shriveled child in tattered clothes

she spent a good five minutes just staring, wondering how on earth she's supposed to react

that's when Angie jumped in and pulled at her skirt, telling her to "let the kid inside, already!"

Donna went immediately to work on some clothes- why on earth were they wearing such ragged things?! it's freezing outside!- while Angie entertained in the parlour

honestly, it didn't go well

the kid was a little bit unsettled by the floating doll that moved and spoke on its own FOR GOOD REASON

and when Donna walked back in with her measurement tape and some fabric, the kid backed themselves into a corner of the room with their gangly legs tucked into their chest

Angie sighs from the opposite side of the room, letting her little feet fidget as she gestures to the kid. "they're no fun" she pouts, "wouldn't even let me know their name"

Donna puts her materials down slowly and lifts her veil back before attempting a small smile

it takes a while but upon the offer of food, the kid finally lets Donna make them some clothes while Angie makes conversation

she works in silence, only offering small awkward smiles

Angie finally brings up the topic of where their parents are when the kid's clothes are done

when the child goes silent, Donna nods in understanding before hurrying off to make a room for them

as Angie helped tug the blankets up to the child's ears, they promised they'd be gone in the morning

Angie was the one to tell them off.

"You'll stay as long as you need, you silly goose!"

and the child did

Donna would let them tag along for meetings so long as they promised to keep quiet and help keep Angie out of trouble

most of the time, it didn't work and they both would end up in trouble but Donna let them come nonetheless

and when the other Lords question where on earth this little kid came from- all dressed in black fabric that matched Donna's dress, she just shook her head and let Angie chase them off verbally

she'd spend literal HOURS locked in that workshop making new little friends for her child and when they were old enough, she'd let them into the workshop

and when they were even older, she'd walk them through making their very first doll on their own

she'd just watch with pride as they carefully painted the freckles with a shaky hand while Angie danced around their ankles singing of how excited she was to have another friend

The Duke:

he would be setting up shop near the base of the Dimitrescu castle when he catches a kid trying to steal some his wares

he wouldn't be terribly upset, more concerned

it wasn't something shiny or expensive that they were trying to steal

it was some of the steaming-hot food he had left to cool in the wintry air

he confronted the child gently and with a warm smile

"That's cordon bleu," he says, gesturing to the steaming plate. "I can make you some if you'd like"

and as the child eats, the Duke continues tidying up his shop for any future customers

the child, through a mouthful of food, points to different items and asks their purpose, their price, their possible enhancements

the Duke answers each question with patience, happy for the company

but he doesn't just let the questions go one-way

"How about a trade?" he asks as the child asks about the strange-looking bottle of green liquid. "An answer for an answer."

the child agrees and the Duke starts to peel back layers of why the child was here looking for food

they had been orphaned by the last lycan attack, only barely making it out by fleeing into the woods

they tried to forage off of berry bushes and successfully managed to kill a pig- only for the blood to attract lycans before they could properly eat it

the Duke nods and continues busying himself with his shop, feeding the horse that pulls the wagon

the thought had hit him when he watched the child petting his horse

that horse hated everyone. including him at times.

maybe...

when he offered to take the child in, the kid nearly burst into tears and thanked him repeatedly, swearing to earn their keep

and they did, seven times over

what started off as a purely business venture morphed into something more as time went on

when the child would come back from selling smaller household items like gasoline and the occasional package of bullets, the Duke would have them climb onto the roof of the wagon and watch the sun set together with a plate of food

speaking of which, like Moreau, the Duke would raise the most cultured child

this kid would know how to prepare and identify different dishes and their ingredients just by looking at them or smelling them

and their palate would be far more sophisticated than most adults

the Duke, as the child gets older, would eventually allow them to choose destinations to set up shop- even outside of the village

wherever his child wants, the shop would go

it allows them to see the world and its earthly wares together- something the Duke had lacked in his life before the child was brought into the picture

Karl Heisenberg:

listen to me very very carefully

this man would be the most chaotic father ever to walk this earthly realm

when he finds this kid in the elevator of his factory, he's kinda standing there like 🧍 "what the hell-"

and when the kid starts spamming the button while maintaining eye contact, he kinda snaps out of it and starts chasing after them as they drop down to a different floor

it goes on for a solid twenty minutes before he finally managed to track them down in the corner of his office

and when i say this man is confused, i freaking mean it

i mean

why the HELL would some random kid be in his factory? don't they like... play with ponies or something at this age?

to be fair, this man literally has never been allowed a childhood so

obviously he starts scolding the kid ("what the hell are you doin' in here? it's dangerous and there's some really freaky shit here, kid"), dragging them to a nearby sink because "holy shit kid, you're filthy"

the kid is silent essentially the whole time, just kinda staring into his eyes

and of course Karl's gonna be like "...the fuck're you doin'?"

the kid's face is cleaned off and Karl sends them back out towards the village with a scratchy blanket he pulled out of the bottom of his desk drawer

he's working on his 'equipment' one day when he starts reaching for a wrench, keeping his focus on the body on the table

when i say this man jumps skyhigh at the kid asking a question, i mean it

he drags the kid back out, yelling about how dangerous it is and how "you shouldn't do that! you're gonna get yourself killed! go back home!"

the kid doesn't listen

it becomes a regular thing- Karl finds the kid wandering around the factory, Karl brings the kid out of danger, Karl tells them to get lost

eventually (day thirteen of this) he asks why the child keeps coming back

and he hates the answer he gets

it was something along the lines of "it's warm and there's nowhere else for me to go"

so Karl reluctantly eagerly lets them stay

it's a lot of rules at first (a kid shouldn't be allowed to just wander around a bunch of mindless cyborg killers, let alone a factory) but eventually the child learns to mind Sturm and the others

doesn't mean Karl does not have a fullblown heart attack when he walks into his workspace to find the kid tracing their finger along the center of the battery for the Soldats

after a very long talk (and some deep breathing) Karl reluctantly eagerly lets them sit against the very far wall to watch him work on the machinery- not, under any circumstances, the actual bodies

as the child blossoms into a young adult, they start to help out with certain aspects of Karl's work

exclusively machinery because Karl could not physically handle having his kid watch him get elbow-deep into a corpse

and Karl is so freaking proud of it

when the Soldat is kicked to life, he's got his kid in his arms and cackling like the proud dad he is

yeah. paternal Heisenberg>>>

[five-rivers]

Danger First

Chapter 10

.

@pocketramblr :)

.

One day - and not even a whole day, because of travel time and Inko wanted Izuku home for dinner- simply wasn't enough time to master a quirk. Although he could turn Float on and off, now. So, they made plans to come back next week, and the next, up until the sports festival. Which. Wow. Really was only two weeks away.

Izuku had never realized how close to the beginning of the school year it was.

He was going to die.

"You're not going to die," said Mr. Yagi. "I'm not going to say the sports festival isn't important, because it is, it's one of the best ways to make professional connections for students, but not doing well isn't the end of the world, especially not in your first year. No one expects you to be perfectly polished."

"But," said Izuku, "I'm supposed to be the next you! I've got to stand out, right?"

Mr. Yagi looked very guilty. "I... may have given you that impression when we were first training, yes. But, since then, with all my research into the past holders... few of them were popular, flashy heroes. If you want to walk the same path as me, that's great. But you don't have to. Even I didn't really start that chapter of my life until after college."

Izuku looked down at his hands, letting silence fill the space between them as he contemplated Mr. Yagi's words. "This isn't about me manifesting One for All differently, is it?"

"What? No, no of course not, my boy. I mean, it certainly helped me come to this conclusion, I wouldn't have done so much research without it! But I certainly hope I would have come to the same conclusion eventually, even so."

"Okay..." said Izuku, still dubious.

"I mean it," protested Mr. Yagi. "Most of my work is essentially underground, you know. There's a reason the battle trial was what it was."

"H-huh? You? Underground? But you're so recognizable!"

"Am I? I firmly believe in bringing all my resources to bear in the fight against evil! Ha ha!"

His laugh devolved into a cough, and he fumbled for a handkerchief. But he recovered quickly enough.

"I guess that makes sense," said Izuku, cautiously, once he thought Mr. Yagi wasn't going to start coughing again.

"You didn't think I stayed number one by popularity alone, did you?"

"I- the formulas the Hero Commission uses to determine rankings are secret, and it only includes spotlight heroes, so when I extrapolated the hero billboard rankings, yes, I assigned a high weight to popularity. There were always some discrepancies between my predictions and the end results, but I figured I missed some events, or the commission assigned them different values…"

"That's quite impressive, my boy. But, though popularity is a factor, the HPSC does take unpublicized fights and rescues into account. Assuming you report them…"

That was the second time Mr. Yagi had mentioned not telling the commission something.

"Do you, um, do you do that a lot? Not tell the commission things, I mean."

"Eh? No, no, I try to stay up on my paperwork. I get a lot of help from Naomasa, though. Some heroes, especially independent ones, without an agency, do have trouble keeping up, sometimes."

"It's just… the other day you said something about not telling the commission about All for One."

"Ah," said Mr. Yagi. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. "You're quite right. How should I put this… The HPSC knows All for One exists, and I have made them generally aware of his modern exploits. I haven't told them about his ability to give quirks, though they may know through other avenues, there are certain battles I've had with him that I haven't told them about, and they do not know about One for All."

“Why not?”

“Villains aren’t the only ones who seek power,” said Mr. Yagi. “The HPSC provides a vital service, and I think what one does matters more than why one does it, but… it is my observation that many of the people there are more concerned with personal power than doing the right thing. And positions of power and authority tend to draw in those who would abuse those things."

"Even heroics?"

"Especially heroics. The HPSC Ethics Review Board is supposed to stop that, but no system is perfect." He shook himself. "But look at me! I was trying to give you a pep talk, not saddle you with doubts about the government!"

Izuku laughed, nervously. "I mean, you've definitely distracted me from the sports festival…"

“Yes. The sports festival. Don’t worry about making a big spotlight combat debut. If you want to focus on rescue, or investigation, or the underground, I’ll support you all the way.” He paused. “You do need combat, though, because, because of-”

“All for One?”

“Yes, exactly. All for One.”

.

“Way to kill the mood, guys,” said Banjo.

“I think the mood was thoroughly dead already,” said Yoichi.

“Unlike your brother,” said En. “Ninth’s father.”

“Come on, it was just a little omission of information. It wasn’t even a lie!”

“It was definitely a lie. You’re so lucky that my relief about you not being a pedophile eclipsed my righteous fury regarding your mendacity.”

“You know, the fact that you’re delivering that completely deadpan gives me doubts about the fury part.”

“I’m mad at you.”

“You love me.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t be mad at you.”

“Hey, hey, wait a minute,” said Nana, making a ‘T’ shape with her hands. “Time out. Ninth’s father is All for One.”

“Yes,” said Yoichi, hanging his head, “I thought that had been established.”

“So, are we… What Toshinori is saying is completely valid, by the way… but, are we expecting this kid to fight his father? Is that a thing we’re doing?”

“Uh,” said Yoichi, “in our defense, we did think he was dead.”

“Maybe Eighth will get ‘im before Ninth has to deal with it,” suggested Banjo. “He’s got to have a better chance of that, now what with Fa Jin and all.” He paused. “But, you know what would give Ninth an even better chance, if he does have to fight his deadbeat dad-”

“He’s not a deadbeat,” interrupted Hikage.

“What?”

“Calling him a deadbeat would imply that he is neither supporting the Midoriyas financially nor regularly in contact with them. He is on both counts.”

“What?” squealed Bango.

“Did you miss his phone call with his father immediately following his return home after the USJ attack?”

“Oh,” said Yoichi, “no, I was very aware of my brother’s evil, evil voice. It’s just that these guys were too focused on scolding me to listen to anything I had to say. I still can’t believe he sent someone like that to attack his own son’s class.”

“Didn’t he, like, kill you?” asked En.

“No, my death was largely unrelated. You’ve got to remember, I was a chronically ill fugitive from the law with no money. Who told you that he killed me?”

Everyone looked at their immediate predecessor. Yoichi tracked the path back to Third, who had gone very stiff.

“What the heck, Third? You were there when I died. Why would you tell Hikage that?”

Third did not answer.

“Actually, what did he tell you, Hikage?

“Oh, it was very moving and heroic. It happened while you were saving a busload of metahuman orphans. You sacrificed yourself to let them get away from All for One. I even cried a little.”

“Is it weird that I’m now disappointed in myself for not dying like that?”

“Very,” said Nana.

“What were we talking about before this?” asked En.

“I have no idea,” said Banjo.

.

Izuku delayed going to class, nervous about everyone's reactions to his quirk. It wasn't that he thought they'd reject him, but more that he had no answers for the inevitable questions.

But he also didn't want to be late.

"Todoroki was so cool!" Hagakure exclaimed as he opened the classroom door. "He was all like, blam, bam, swish! And- and he checked whether or not I was there first, before attacking, which was super cool of him."

Todoroki's expression was halfway between 'statue' and 'help, I've been hit by a truck.' "Cool?"

"Very cool."

"You've grown since the first day, kero."

"Ah! Midoriya!"

All heads turned towards him. In the next second, he was hugged by several people, which was more friendly skin contact than he'd had since… ever, probably.

"Eep," he said.

"We were so worried about you," said Uraraka. "We made a group chat, after, but since you were unconscious…"

"Hm," said Monoma, "your quirk still is definitely a stockpile…"

"Monoma!" shouted Iida. "Did you join this hug just to copy quirks?"

"And what of it?"

"But speaking of quirks," said Jiro, "you can fly now? We kind of went along with it at the time, but that's kind of different from a sensory quirk."

"I know," said Izuku, "and I have no explanation."

"Maybe your quirk stockpiles danger," said Monoma, contemplatively. He rubbed his chin with one finger. "That could be why you can sense danger- you're stockpiling it. Then, when the danger gets over a certain threshold, you can release it as flight… why are you all looking at me like that?"

"Oh, nothing," drawled Kaminari. "Just that you're more thoughtful than you look, pretty boy."

"I don't want to hear that from you."

"Th-thank you, Monoma! I'll have to mention it when I go to quirk counseling next."

Which may or may not be this afternoon, depending on how Mr. Aizawa felt and- His head snapped to the door. "Mr. Aizawa's coming!"

They all rushed to their seats. The door creaked open.

"Oh my gosh, he's a mummy."

.

"Iida?"

"What is it, Midoriya?"

They were having a bit of a break during English while Present Mic cycled them through for short sessions with Hound Dog.

"I didn't have a chance to ask you earlier, but how's your brother?"

“He’s alright! It’s the first really major injury of his career, so he’s going to take it easy for the rest of the month, to make sure his engines heal properly. He’d prefer not to of course, but, ah, there is a silver lining.”

“That’s good,” said Izuku, encouragingly.

“I really shouldn’t be happy about it,” said Iida, rubbing the back of his neck, “but he’ll be able to come see me during the sports festival, and he probably would have been too busy if he were active.”

“I think it’s okay to be happy about good things, even if they happen because of bad things,” said Izuku. “It isn’t like we can go back and make the bad things not happen, after all…”

“That’s very true, Midoriya! What a mature way of thinking about things.”

Izuku didn’t know about that, but he was willing to take the compliment.

.

“Midoriya,” said Shouta, who was absolutely and unquestionably recovered enough to teach. Even if he had zoned out in the corner of the room in his sleeping bag all morning rather than trekking back to the teacher’s lounge… or teaching any of his other classes… shut up. “What are you doing at the window?”

“O-oh. Mr. Aizawa. I didn’t know you were awake?”

It was, maybe, a little unfair to single Midoriya out like that, since the entire class was standing by the window, and the way Uraraka, Sero, and Midoriya were closest to it, with Monoma a close fourth, was concerning, but Midoriya was the first one Shouta saw, and the one most likely to to cave and tell him what was going on.

“Midoriya.”

“R-right. Well, going out the door seems a little unpleasant today, so we thought we’d switch it up?”

What did that even mean?

“We were going to bring you with us, of course,” continued Midoriya.

What did that even mean?

“Out the window.”

“Um. Yes.”

“What kind of unpleasant are we talking about?”

“Battle trial unpleasant?”

Shouta groaned and hauled himself up, walking over to the door. He looked out the window and made note of all the students from other classes standing out there, circling like sharks. Great. Maybe they needed to have an assembly about respecting boundaries or whatever, especially if the people whose boundaries were being crossed were potentially traumatized.

Something to bring up at the next staff meeting he attended. Which… would probably not be soon.

Anyway.

He opened the door.

(“A mummy,” whispered someone.)

(First his kids, then these kids… he wasn’t that wrapped up.)

(Was he?)

“What are you all doing here?” he asked, voice rasping rather more than he wanted it to.

The students didn’t seem inclined to answer. Someone did mutter something about the sports festival, but it was far from the complete answer that Aizawa wanted.

“Right. Whatever. Scoping out the competition is one thing, but you are aware that class 1-A is recovering from a traumatic experience. And you’re blocking traffic. Clear off.”

The crowd slowly dispersed. Shouta sighed. He knew this would only be the first of many such incidents. He made a note to talk to Nemuri about whether or not she’d be willing to donate some of her class time to talk about public relations.

.

“You know,” said Nemuri, “if you actually rested, Recovery Girl would be able to heal you.”

“I know nothing of the sort,” said Shouta, glaring at his desk in the staff room. “I’m forgetting something.”

All Might walked in. “Er, young Aizawa,” he said. He paused for a painfully long, awkward moment. “Are you still meeting with young Midoriya today?”

“Crap.”

.

Did Izuku expect Mr. Aizawa to come to their meeting? No. The man had casts on all of his limbs. But, he hadn’t cancelled it either. So, better safe than sorry, right?

But it had been a while, now. Izuku could probably safely assume he wasn't coming after a half hour. He got up, packed his bags, and reached out for the door handle-

Only to freeze as Mr. Aizawa yanked it open and pulled Mr. Yagi into the classroom after him.

Izuku scurried back to his seat.

"Nothing physical today," croaked Mr. Aizawa. "We're going to figure out your quirk."

“O-okay,” said Izuku.

Aizawa collapsed into the seat behind the teacher's desk. “To be short, this quirk, One for All or whatever, is complete nonsense.”

“Uh,” said Mr. Yagi. “Sorry?”

“Sorry,” whispered Izuku.

“You should be. Not you, Midoriya. You’re fine.”

“Okay?”

“Right. So. You’ve got two quirks right now. Danger Sense and Float. Unless something else showed up over the weekend?”

“No, it’s, um, it is just those two right now.”

“And you’ll most likely get Smokescreen, Blackwhip, and that strength enhancement eventually. Plus two mystery quirks.”

“That is what I’ve been able to find out,” said Mr. Yagi.

“So, we have to figure out some way to get all those under a coherent umbrella that can account for the mystery quirks, and before the sports festival, so the evil immortal supervillain doesn’t notice that you have quirks just like a bunch of people he had personal beef with.”

Mr. Yagi cursed in English. “I hadn’t thought about that.”

“Yeah, I wonder what else you haven’t thought about. Maybe this year I can get Nezu to take my suggestion about doing hero names before the sports festival seriously. You know we’ve had people stalk students before because for some godforsaken reason we use their real names? I need a drink.”

“Ah, water?”

“No.”

“Young Aizawa, you’re a teacher…”

“A career choice I question daily. Midoriya, do you have any thoughts about how to make your quirk make sense in a way that won’t get you killed or abducted by the HPSC?”

“I- Does that happen?” despite his conversation with Mr. Yagi over the weekend, he still had generally positive thoughts about the hero commission.

“I have no idea. Wouldn’t put it past them.”

“Well, um, I was talking to Monoma earlier, and he said something about stockpiling danger, and how it might let out the stockpile as the energy necessary to levitate- which, really, would be a fascinating quirk if it did work that way- but I thought it might also work for Smokescreen and the strength enhancement? I mean, general responses to danger are fight, flight, or hide, so the strength enhancement is fight, Float is flight, and Smokescreen would be hide…”

“That might work. What about Blackwhip.”

“Yeah, that one has kind of stumped me.”

“Blackwhip sure is a problem,” agreed Mr. Aizawa.

.

The ghosts started laughing. “You’re a problem, Banjo,” chortled Nana.

“Come on, guys, that isn’t funny!”

"It is! It's hilarious!"

"They were just talking about All for One tracking the kid down and killing him!"

The mood sobered quickly.

"Considering that he is Ninth's father," said Hikage, "I suspect it's far too late for that."

"Yeah," said Yoichi. "But, just to be safe, and in case there are other weirdos out there, new rule: no giving him new quirks in public. Not that we can do anything about when he eventually manifests the stockpile…"

"What if he's going to die?" asked Hikage, raising his hand.

"He already got your quirk, why do you care?"

"We'd like to hear it," said Banjo, somewhat forcefully.

"Well, if he looks like he's going to die, do whatever you can to stop that from happening, I guess. But chucking a quirk he doesn't know how to use isn't always going to be the beat answer."

"Wait," said Nana. "Hold up a second. A few days ago we were talking about the potential for multiple quirk brain damage, weren't we?"

"Oh, good catch," said Yoichi. "I guess I forgot to mention it, which means Nana is the only one I'd trust babysitting my nephew in the event a quirk rewound him to elementary school age-"

"That is a suspiciously specific scenario," said En.

"-and all the rest of you are fired. You didn't even question giving him more quirks? Really?"

Hikage raised his hand. "I assumed you had discovered that Ninth had a constitution capable of handling multiple quirks, similar to yourself and your brother."

"That is true. Okay, Hikage would be another exception, but he's disqualified from babysitting for other reasons."

"That's fair."

.

"So we need something that can do all that, and has tentacles," said Izuku, squeezing his bottom lip in thought.

"Yeah," said Mr. Aizawa. "Honestly, even really dumb ideas would be welcome right now."

"Why are you looking at me?" asked Mr. Yagi.

"You know why."

There was only one creature Izuku could think of that could do all the things Izuku one day might be able to while maintaining room for the two mystery quirks. "Cthulhu."

Mr. Yagi looked mildly scandalized at the suggestion.

"Nah, it'd have to be something like eldritch. Cthulhu's trademarked in Japan, and that can give you aboveground types trouble."

"What is it a trademark for?" asked Mr. Yagi.

"Ask Midnight. I don't want to talk about it."

"Ah," said Mr. Yagi.

"The problem with that is that you currently have no justification to call it that. Now if you already had Smokescreen…"

The adults looked at him.

"... I don't think it's going to just show up like that," said Izuku.

.

"Why not?" asked Banjo, staring at En. "They practically asked you for it."

"Well, first off, I live for drama, so jot that down."

"Huh? What about me?" asked Yoichi.

"Nothing, it was just an idiom. Second…"

.

"...Right," said Aizawa. “For now, then, we’ll have to give it a temporary name, because it’s starting to get to the point in time where it’ll actually be illegal for you to not register it.” He shuffled his casts. “Yagi, start filling out those forms with what he can do currently. Midoriya, make sure you check him when he’s done. For now, we’ve got to come up with a name.”

“Um,” said Izuku. “Float’s the only one that’s really visible, so I could just call it Float?”

“Vetoed. You aren’t picking a name that the immortal supervillain knows.”

“He did seem to only refer to people by quirks unless he really hated them,” said Mr. Yagi. “Except his brother, who he always called ‘my foolish brother.’”

“Focus on the paperwork.”

“And he called himself by his quirk name as well,” mused Izuku. “Do you think it was a side effect? Quirks have document impact on people’s personalities-”

“Focus.”

“R-right. Um. Feather Fall? No, that’s part of a game. Flight Reflex?”

“Good enough for now,” said Aizawa. “Flight Reflex it is.”

[necros-writing-stuff]

oooooooooohh nooo thats so cute :(((( what u said abt young eden is so true omgg. they r also def the type of kid that brings stray cats n dogs 2 their home. so evrytime the orphanage carataker hears a meowing or barking inside they r like "gdi eden not AGAIN!!" but it wouldnt stop them lol. they r the type that r immune to scolding. after finishing wth being scolded theyll go back 2 do exactly what they r told not 2 do. oh n also they enjoy rough playing. so on top of being covered in dirt or mud, theyll always have bruises n scratches from getting into fights or just from falling or running around. also they have a habit of like, suddenly disappearing (maybe 2 the forest which makes them hard 2 track).

and lol ye i saw it, it made me go hmmm, a true missed opportunity. eden wouldnt let the chance pass. im manifesting a future update where we could give them oral spiderman style 🙏

a bit off topic but i was wondering if u have any ideas or hcs about eden n baileys relationship/friendship?? idk. eden being slightly aggressive n mad at u after they rescue(???) u from bailey when u miss ur payment kinda throw me off ngl. bc they dont act that way when they rescue you from remys farm or the asylum. like, wtf is going on??? idk. its a bit of head scratcher for me.

Ooooo boy Eden and Bailey's past is something I often think about.

Under a cut for sheer length

Okay so I think they are about the same age (late 20s to early 40s) and that they grew up in the orphanage together.

I think Eden was there since very young/birth, but Bailey came later.

Eden not having sole primary care takers fucked up their socialising skills and they felt more comfortable on their own (read:fear of abandonment).

Bailey I think came from a really abusive impoverished home, and thats what made them obsessed with money. They have a weird vendetta against their birth parents to be 'better' than them.

Eden had a stray dog they cared for, but one day when they were running through the forest, a wolf got at it. Hence their 'non of these would survive in the wild' line at the pet store, and their obvious interest in puppy play.

After that, Eden started to shut off even more, being aggressive with the other kids, until Bailey started hanging out with them.

Bailey was angry to be in an orphanage and could see that Eden obviously wasn't happy, so they sort of gravitated towards each other.

Bailey was also the only other kid that didn't cry when Eden hit them.

They're the only two people that know each other's birthdays, besides anyone who looks at their very real legal documents.

As they hit puberty and start growing, they get competitive. Both are rather controlling, so they make a ton of bets against each other. One of them being who can lose their virginity the fastest.

Eden is rather blunt at asking, scaring a lot of the potential partners off, while Bailey is smoother about it and of course wins the bet.

Some fellow orphans start going missing, making everyone uneasy.

This is also when they start noticing the rampant sexual assualt in town, travelling as two most of the time so they can fight people off easier, if needs be.

Terrible at school. Eden was great at English, decent at history, but good luck making them show up half of the time. Eden had a talent for art, however, particularly carvings.

Bailey was there to socialise and steal lunch money, but they had okay grades.

If this is set in England, they would have gone to a secondary school with a sixth form. This means ages 11-18 as students, and I hc that when they were in year 7 (1st year of secondary) Leighton was in sixth form (years 12 and 13). They did not get along for the brief time they would meet in the halls.

I also think Eden would have dropped out in year 11, at age 16, and probably had an apprenticeship with a woodworking company (explains making the coat rack and love seat).

Bailey starts getting into more and more criminal activities, dragging Eden into them too, until a local crime boss notices them. The boss takes Bailey under their wing, thinking Eden won't be right for the job.

Instead they ask Eden to get a job at the police station and help them get further footholds there, that's how Eden has all of those collars (inspired by that one anon), and possibly their rifle. Alternatively, Eden leaves for the military and comes back later.

It works, and they end up covering a lot of their tracks. It's probably around this point that Landry does a few smaller jobs around the place and starts hearing about the Boss' new protégé.

They both have money now, for the first time in there lives, and this is when their differences start to show.

Bailey wants more and more, where as Eden wants to be comfortable.

Bailey fits into the mobster life fairly easily, but instead of the drugs that a lot of the others peddle, Bailey specialises in extortion and blackmail.

They slowly end up getting quite a few powerful figures under their control, and when the boss dies and Bailey ends up in charge of the money? They buy the orphanage.

I think Bailey might have cared for the orphans at one point, in their own ways, but their greed got the better of them.

Working under the mob and the corrupt police has Eden start to hate and fear the town. The only place they felt safer was the forest - which was full of deadly animals. But Eden could protect themselves now.

Being tall and muscular means that Eden is often sent to intimidate or even physically hurt people, often times getting hurt as well. Not to mention when arresting people, some are rather adverse to going to jail and take stabs at them.

If I go with Eden joining the military, they come home hoping to have a familiar setting calm their nerves, but it doesn't. Working for Bailey to earn money also doesn't help, one job having them break into the police station and setting fire to their files (that's another way Eden could find the collars, think of their old dog, and take them in nostalgia).

Eden cracks when they're asked to kill someone off, only to realise its a kid. That's too far.

They go to Bailey and tell them they're done. They need an out, they're fucking miserable, barely sleeping, constantly anxious, and Bailey tries to convince them to stay at first, before realising that they could lose their best friend once and for all if they force them to stay.

So they start planning together what Eden should do, and eventually come up with the cabin. Bailey has Quinn/their predecessor in their pocket by this point, so some cash and threats have some builders help make it, including running water.

When in town, Eden supplies Bailey with animal furs for custom coats. Bailey gets Eden new books, cans of food, more bullets. And if you miss your payment, Bailey eventually gifts Eden with a spouse.

Eden gets angry if they 'rescue' you from Bailey cause its a reminder of the past they try to avoid, and they take it out on you. Of the fear they had as a young orphan of disappearing, something Bailey is now enforcing on more orphans. They take it out on you because violence has always been a way they've coped.

Occasionally, maybe on one of those birthdays, they sit at the lake and drink some whiskey together. They don't talk about their feelings, they're both too stunted for that. But it's comforting knowing each other is still alive and well.

[ruby-whistler]

Srry but i noticed in one of ur dream posts u Referred to tommy's cat as hope. I must correct u, that cat was born pussbou and died pussboi. /lh Also tommy killing that cat was nothing compared to dream killing mushroom henry in exile btw just wanna say Also for ur posts about dreams trauma or wilbur manipulating him can u provide links to vods or other proof? Srry if i seem rude i mean that in a "genuinely curious way"

Aaa sorry if my ask came off as rude im just genuinely curious :(((

hi! dw, you don't seem rude at all, and i'm extremely happy someone with a different perspective has found my blog! i really appreciate that sort of attitude and am happy to answer :]

/dsmp /rp

the cat was called pussboy by tommy, but dream only called it "the cat" and then said that "it was hope", which is why it sort of became a symbol (his hope is dead, basically) - that's why i kind of made its name capitalized, because it was more of a metaphor than anything.

most c!dream fans call the cat hope because it's just really nice and really symbolic, and also really sad when you think about it. that's why the name was used in the essay, just to clear up the confusion!

tommy killing that cat was nothing compared to dream killing mushroom henry in exile

i don't really think so? mooshroom henry was entertainment more than anything, and even if it was bad, when watching the stream i don't remember seeing him mourn that much - on the other hand, dream was very quickly and very obviously attached to the cat, with it being his only companion in months of isolation, along with the hope that even when tommy left it would keep him company.

keep in mind c!dream has been deprived of stimuli and human contact for so long it's officially classified as psychological torture at that point.

i don't mean to compare trauma or even compare deaths - because honestly, what c!dream and c!tommy have gone through individually is incomparable and i think neither should be diminished in favor of the other since they're both terrible situations.

that's why i disagree that it "was nothing compared to" - it had an obvious effect on c!dream, and was still c!tommy killing an animal specifically to hurt him, no matter what reasons he had.

when i'm talking about effects people's actions have had on c!dream, i'm not talking about those people. i'm talking about him. :) /lh

as for the trauma, a lot of people agree that a lot of the things he says or does are trauma responses, and hence it's very possible that he's had trauma before he went into prison!

this includes being repeatedly called a tyrant via propaganda by about half of your friends who decided to betray you, trying to keep peace and being pushed deeper into villainy instead, repeatedly being put in between a rock and a hard place in order to make sure the people you care about don't start killing each other, then being betrayed by your closest friends after merely trying to keep peace (sapnap & george) and just in general having no control over your life or image and grasping at straws to gain it back.

i know a lot of people with trauma who heavily relate to certain trauma responses, which aren't always just shaky breaths and flashbacks, but trauma often also manifests itself in extremely ugly and destructive ways, both inwardly and outwardly.

trying to control the people around you is also very often a response to going through trauma, as well as emotional repression which is... rather evident on c!dream during season two. it only seems to get worse with repeated abandonment.

in the end, during the vault scene, the way he acts really just isn't at all the way a healthy person would act, and a lot of his really bad mindsets come from the way he was taught by the world around him.

the character is very reserved however, and since we don't have his pov we can't really say for certain - a lot of people claim it in good faith because they have a lot of evidence for it, and i think they're certainly valid in that.

that is just before the prison, however. from what happened during the prison arc? there is no denying he's traumatized at this point.

he's been emotionally and physically abused by c!sam since the very beginning of being imprisoned, and being in solitary confinement for over two weeks is generally considered psychological (and maybe also physical?) torture. that alone shows up in a lot of symptoms of his mental deterioration while in pandora's during people's visits, and quackity's "sessions" just absolutely drove the point home.

what he's gone through during this arc is absolutely incomparable to anything others charactes have faced before, and it's just plain suffering being endured by someone who is, despite everything, still a human being.

as for the wilbur manipulation thing!! it's talking about the whole vassal scene (though even beforehand a lot of their interactions are pretty iffy), and here's a post about that :]

I also have a small question about the analysis u last reblogged cus it says "why dream needed lmanburg gone rightfully" and like. The house analogy is poor because for one cus the land is infinite. And 2 cus punz's yard was literally larger then lmanburg. And also stuff about dream being a mediator? Can u provide examples?

i wouldn't say it was poor. dream's said a lot of times that he didn't care in the slightest about the land - a lot of his problems with l'manberg arose with the fact that wilbur basically built it on lies and tried to disallow half of the server to come there. c!dream was mad about the division and the fact that wilbur wanted "freedom" to have authority in his lands - over others, as can be seen in this post also.

the table analogy was fitting not because dream was some overlord, but because these were literally friends he invited to hang out and live in a place he wanted to call home. claiming a part of it for yourself and saying people of a certain nationality can't come in is directly opposing those goals.

in the early days of the smp, dream's always been a mediator between his friends - sapnap and george, who would often get into fights and go around killing each other! he would always do his best to stop the conflict, which continued after tommy joined when he took him to court and then later tried to mediate conflicts he was a part of, which resulted in tommy killing him unprovoked, stealing his gear, and starting the disc wars when dream was trying to get his stuff back. later, during pogtopia, he is also most concerned with peace over everything, and this seems to continue indefinitely after.

Today i was thinking about how messed up the final control room was. Like. Dream arranged the betrayal and punz and sapnap killed tommy and tubbo who like. Were literal children and their pals (because the author, wilbur soot, is dead/j but srsly if u take the streamers words tommy said he was 9 during the revolution sooo)

Sorry im gonna ramble about how dumb canon ages are for a second cus like. Streamers can say the characters are one way or another (wilbur saying he is mentally 30-something, etc.) But in the end the characters act like they(or at least their streaming personas) do.

i... honestly don't find it that bad? they were in a war, and the final control room was basically just supposed to end it quicker. the l'manbergians made it clear they were going to fight to the death, so they really left c!dream no other choice. and it's not like he didn't give them chances to give up.

also yeah the 9 year old thing was retconned, because in that case c!dream would've been 14 and i don't think that's true.

c!tommy and c!dream were both young and once again, in a war. the final control room was an attempt to assure victory, which both sides would've taken if possible, but only c!dream saw he had the option.

i do agree the whole child soldier thing was bad but... complain about that to c!wilbur, methinks. he talked naive kids into fighting for his personal power. however, the age argument isn't really valid either way. they had enough agency to sign up for it, and whether or not c!wilbur pushing the intense nationalism onto them had something to do with that is another debate entirely.

Bacl to final control room cus like??? Also fun fact punz took 2 of wilbur's canon lives. And like that probably is what started wilbur's paranoia which later lead to his spiral and i. Many thoughts full of lmanburg today.

i'm pretty sure cc!wilbur said what lead to c!wilbur's spiral was a "dark, twister view of possessions" and "disregard for his fellow citizen whom he claimed to love so much", but i really wouldn't say it was the control room; if anything the sudden loss of power after the elections seems to me like the trigger for his spiral.

I watched the exile arc live and. I feel dirty almost for feeling little to no sympathy for c!dream (srry ive been forgetting to add that aa) because of his actions toward c!tommy and like. The whole probation was so humiliating and unfair and c!dream was planning to frame him for the crimes he and puffy did under the the guise of "pranks" and c!quackity was planning to seize the vice president role.

i mean... to be fair, if you didn't watch the prison arc much yet or only watch tommy's perspective i understand not feeling that sympathetic - however, i encourage you to maybe watch a few prison visits, since they could help you see the whole picture better!

i also watched it live, and i also thought it was terrible, but i share very much the same sentiment for the prison arc because. absolutely no one should have to go through either of those things, you know?

i don't think probation was that humiliating? he was just. being asked to not start conflict with the other factions for two weeks. of course, what happened as a result is in no way justified, but i don't think probation itself would've been bad at all. either way yeah the framing and c!quackity's behaviour was. very yikes, i agree.

Also c!tommy antis are dumb because they say "he deserved exile angry emoji" i dont see u saying that about ranboo. Just say you hate cc!tommy and go. Also people say c!tommy was just as toxic to c!dream and i??? No. One is the victim and one is the abuser and like. :/// man. This part is rambly srry

i wouldn't say they hate cc!tommy? cc!tommy has a persona who people think is annoying at first ( but then they subscribe because he is super entertaining big man! ) but a lot of c!tommy's actions are straight up toxic to certain characters, such as c!funndy and c!jack. he has a very dismissive attitude towards others and their trauma and it does affect the people around them very negatively.

examples; his repeated bullying and behavior towards fundy:

Tommy: “Fundy, I’m just here to kinda let you know that I – if you weren’t Wilbur’s son, you would be out of L’manburg, alright? Just remember – you need to keep that relationship with your father. I saw how asshole-y and bratty you were acting in the courtroom the other night. You need to pull your shit together young man.”

......

Fundy: “I’m wearing glasses…are you making fun of my eyesight?!”

Tommy: “Yes.”

Sapnap: “Your father would be very disappointed.”

Fundy: “Wh – disappointed for wearing glasses?!”

Tommy: “You got glasses, like what are you wearing…”

Fundy: “What do you mean?”

Tommy: “Sapnap, Sapnap, over here. Fundy, Fundy, Fundy, I’m really sorry to say this – I’m just here to publicly denounce you.”

Fundy: “…What?”

( credit for transcript: @/findingjoynweirdstuff )

he's also responsible for a big chunk of c!jack's trauma, both with actions and words, and that's why i think certain people might dislike the character, and i don't think that's wrong of them. anyone can dislike any character they want if they don't attack people for liking them, in my opinion.

also c!tommy was most definitely toxic against c!dream in the cell. it's of course understandable but that doesn't change the fact he was constantly hitting and insulting him (without dream doing anything back for a long while until he snapped) which is toxic behaviour.

i wouldn't say he was "just as" though, so i agree with you on that. they're different and they behave differently.

i made a dream blob keychain today. Is it possible to send images if u wanna see? Idk cus i havent used tumblr before. I think that's all for now. Thx for letting me talk :D peepoShy -curious anon (but fr a connoreatspants c!dream redemption arc would be cool)

yooo that's cool! i don't really,,, know if it's possible to send images? try it out and if it isn't i'll try find a way to turn it on.

also, no problem! just please remember this is a c!dream sympathetic blog, and me as well as my followers are uhh,, oftentimes emotionally attached / personally relate to the character, so if you could avoid sending hate on the character (not that you have or that i expect you to, just a friendly reminder) in the asks that would be great! we already see a lot of it unwillingly so, i'd rather not see more, but as long as the discussion is civil i'm absolutely ok with you asking more and with me answering more questions if you'd want to! :)

if anyone else would like to reblog this and add some things i might've missed with my answers, feel free to, just go easy on her (she uses she/her pronouns!) and keep it factual.

i hope u had a good or at least ok time at school today :D

thanks! i gtg now because exam tomorrow but i'm going to try write the redemption essay tomorrow as well because ohhh boy i have a lot of ideas about what all i could write around the concept.

also sorry this was long, i can't keep my tongue on the leash :[

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Ostracized as usual Denise loudly tells every one she's making corn dogs and asks if they want some...

Then she asks Nathaniel in Spanish how many.

I'm in my room with my door shut and nothing but the air on... I'm not deaf and she opened my daughter's door to ask her and she rejected the offer.

But Denise is acting really cheerful like I knocked something loose other than her scalp loose.

I feel like it's fake but tree says i was going at least 60 mph and my very good quality glass screen protector cracked all the way across... And my phone screen was being weird after, showing green dots where i typed... Which isnt normal...

So like I mean i fucked her up... Like enough to do something to her brain? Or is it like dopamine and shit for pain still going in her chemical system?

I think it's fake... Idk... I don't trust her.

Tree says I fucked her up straight to her brain and knocked some tar loose.

I guess...

But it's weird... Cause she's never cheerful...

Like I'm waiting for us all to die. She could have some frontal lobe pressure that is really doing her a number though... Taking out that psycho sociopath shit She has usually.

That's probably it... If nothing else...

Oh they tell me she had tar injected up past her eye into her skull between her brain and skull... And it got knocked loose...

Well that is fucking weird.

She shouldn't be ostracizing me then! I think she's plotting...

She will be the happy one and I'll be the mean miserable one and so no one will mind if I go missing then she will go back to being psycho

Or she will be all "I kicked you out. Get out" but be all "no.not me.I'm the nice one. You have seen this"

Tar syndrome can't save us all.

Apparently she didn't even tell my Uncle Dad but i did. I wrote an email to him at that police station because i thought i was going to jail And I was not gonna have her go lie about that. Where I was or what i did. So i told him exactly in chronological order without many details exactly.

And I admitted to busting her head open.

Which tree posted and our replies.. And explanation of my adoptive father's existence.

But no way was she gonna go just tell her side. Sure to the cops fine. But not any where else. Not like I expected him to bail me out but I wanted him to know the truth and all that. Because she lies about Everything.

And i figured she would lie about where I was or what happened. Because i didn't know what was going on to be honest and i was all "man I'm fucking going to jail cause she's fucking bleeding because I couldn't control myself and did what I wanted to do for so fucking long"

It was worth one night in jail no charges. You know what i mean? Like just one. Then like "you know what? Forget about it my husband said this was bad to press charges on my kid" type shit

Like "drunk tank me" then let me go.

It was hot in the truck and I wanted to go sit in the shade on the sidewalk but i didn't trust her she got Nathaniel to give me a ride and i was all this bitch is gonna leave my ass stranded the first step I make out this truck.

Because that was what she wanted in the first place!

What the fuck. Its not the first time she's pulled over in that exact spot but before i told her i would get out and she was all "forget it" and I told her "you do that again and I'm gonna beat your ass"

She laughed in my face

And well I pounded her head in enough, apparently.

Excuse me but I get fucking mail on Monday even if it's a holiday. The fucking bitch just took me on Saturday

What does she think? The tooth fairy brought it?!?!

Just goddamed already.

A fact is a fucking fact. I loose my goddamed shit sometimes.

I don't even remember even talking to her. I just remembered like next thing I knew her hair was in my hand and I was all ... Wait what am I doing? Yes I want to do this and I used both hands to yank the shit out of it. 2x

The 2nd time because i could. Because she really tried to hit me! Ugh.

The 3rd time.. Like i knew the second she pulled out from the stop when she told me to,get the fuck out she was taking me to the police station and that is why i pulled her hair

Cause I was like bitch.

Then the 3rd time I planned that... I was gonna make it good if she turned on that street... But I didn't know what my brain knew subconsciously because I was all hey body what are you doing? Cell phone Stabbing her skull?! Not what I had planned but okay! Sure why not.

Then i was all fucking damit it i broke my nail. This is bad. I shouldn't did that plus she was bleeding allover the place and i was all this is it

I can't even pretend I didn't do it. Its too late

I couldn't lie my way out if I tried. I didn't feel bad. I didn't feel scared. I didn't fucking care any more

I was pissed at myself because my kid was gonna be stuck without a mom. Even temporary. Just for a night.

That's why I told my Uncle Dad. Like I said I wasn't looking for bail. But I knew he would want the truth and he always told me to tell it.

So even if I wasn't sorry I still had to admit what I did, for my kid. He always told me that. "Just tell the truth even if you're not sorry. Even if you're proud"

"But doesn't that prove guilt in the eyes of the law?"

"It doesn't matter"

He'd yell... 'Does this look like court? I'll get you a lawyer!' Cause I'd ramp up a huge thing But... The end of the game..

Just tell the truth.

That's what I learned from him.

Maybe my kid would be super pissed and I would deserve her hate at me for not caring about her and being stupid for 10 minutes.

Because it was. It was stupid.

And I'm lucky she didn't press charges and the only reason she didn't is because she's a horrible person and did horrible shit to me as a kid and my Uncle Dad always has taken my side Because I am honest and good and he has always told her she will find a new place to live if she ever presses charges on his kids.

Thats why I got him this shirt for father's day which I already gave him

2..

But yeah my kid would beat my ass if my Uncle didn't have that threat on Denise.

And I would deserved it.

So y'all people fucking around. I'm not a hypocrite. I know what I deserve for what I did.

I know it wasn't right

I owned up to it and I was ready to accept the punishment although I didn't want to. If she chose to, I had no other choice

She was dripping blood all over her shirt at s very rapid pace and she should have gotten stitches.

I feel kinda bad that she didn't. But she chose to lie and hide what really happened.

No one should be treated like she was.

If you are in a relationship like she is

A family like she is

A home she is

You should leave.

I don't say that because i hate her

I say that because we abuse her.

She abuses us. So, we eye for an eye and abuse her back.

So watching that video with no other information. Anyone in a relationship like that should leave.

Y'all know me and our history and so it's different

But no back story and out of context.. It was out of control and could be manifested into a different kind of tale.

And most people in the world shouldn't be treated like she was

If I was her and I was someone else that was say a boyfriend not DNA4U approved or stranger... I would thrown me out of the car, too. And I have, in the past.

So out of context what she did, driving to the police station... Was kinda the right thing to do but I beat her ass and that part is usually deserted but Jack called ahead because he knew I was hitting her and he knew in ESP connection what she was planning. Just as i did.

It is what caused her head to bleed. Like I said I planned it.

She should had went to a gas station or other public places that would been safer ... Especially how that police department is situated.

The back door is open. Not the front. But Jack sent someone out because he knew.

So... If any of you are in that situation you should press charges.

Next time they could kill you

I blacked out. Had she not been driving, i may had killed her.

Im being honest.

[turtle-steverogers]

I Am More Than Memory (part 2/3)

yah there’s gonna be a party three that’s al centric

this is part two to this

this is eh sorry i had a lot of caffeine

ships: sprace, platonic spalbert,,,spralbert??

editing: no im quaking in my baby seal designer boots

warnings: well race is dead,,uh mental health issues

Spot stood up, staggering backwards, only to be steadied by a hand on his back.  He whirled around to see Race, standing behind him, concern written on his face.  

Race pulled his hands away from Spot abruptly when he saw him flinch, “Spot?  Hey, what’s goin’ on?”

Spot shook his head, eyes wide as Race took another step closer to him, “I-I dunno,” Spot stammered, reaching out a hand towards Race, only to be stopped by a hand on his bicep.  He jumped, the hand retracting quickly as he turned around to see Albert standing there, arms raised as if he were about to grab Spot.  But Spot didn’t want him to touch him.  He didn’t want anyone to touch him.  He wanted Race.  He wanted to go home.

“Race,” He breathed, looking back at his husband, “Can we go home now?  I don’t wanna be here anymore.”

“Spot,” Albert started to say something, but Spot zoned him out as Race spoke.

“Of course, love,” He smiled comfortingly, “I’m proud of you for comin’ out at all.”

“Spot, look at me,” The hand was back and Spot winced, raising his head slowly to look at Albert.  He could see Race hovering nervously in his peripheral.

“You need to come back to us,” Albert was speaking softly, “He’s not there.”

“Shut up,” Spot snarled, sudden anger unfurling in his gut, “I didn’t even wanna fuckin’ come tonight.  Leave me alone.”

He turned, storming out of the bar, Race hot on his heels.  

“Are you okay, love?” He asked, running a hand down Spot’s arm as they climbed into a taxi.  Spot shook his head, leaning into the touch.

“Aight, shhh, baby, I’m right here,” Race soothed, pressing a comforting kiss to Spot’s forehead. They didn’t speak the rest of the ride back to the apartment, only acknowledging each other again once they were in the safe confines of their bedroom. Spot felt involuntary tears pricking the backs of his eyes and he slid to the floor next to their bed, reaching up to grab at his hair.

“Sean, baby, don’t do that,” Race murmured, dropping next to him and tugging his hands away from his head, “I’m right here for ya. I’m here, love, I’m not goin’ anywhere.” He continued to murmur soft nothings into Spot’s hair as he tried to calm down, savoring his husband’s warm embrace.  

“Your phone’s ringin’,” Race muttered after Spot’s cries had reduced to hiccups, “It’s Al.”

“Tell him to fuck himself,” Spot snipped, refusing to move from his comfortable position.

“You know I can’t do that,” Race said.

“I know,” Spot said, sadly as his phone rang a second time.  He groaned, reaching down to grab his phone.

He picked up, but didn’t say anything.

“Spot?” Albert’s worried voice sounded through the speaker, “Are ya there?”

Spot still didn’t answer and Albert continued, “Can ya come let me in, please?” He paused, “I want to help you.”

Fed up, Spot stood and crossed to the front door, hesitating before opening it, “What,” he demanded.

Albert pulled pulled his phone away from his ear, hanging up as he gave Spot a once over, softening, “I’m sorry,” he said, pocketing the phone, “Can I come in?”

Spot sighed, glancing at Race behind him, who shrugged, “I guess,” Spot said holding open the door wider for Albert to walk through.  They sat on opposite ends of the couch, Spot still shaking in his seat.  Race perched himself on the chair adjacent to the couch, watching his old best friend and husband concernedly.

“Are ya out of your meds?” Albert asked, cutting straight to the point.

Spot flinched, “Yeah.”

“Since when?”

“I don’t know.”

“You needa take ‘em,” Albert pushed, “They’re helpin’ you.”

“S’not like I wanted to run out,” Spot mumbled, not making eye contact with Albert.

“Why didn’t ya get more?”

“I forgot.”

“Forgot or refused?”

Spot was silent.  He truly had forgotten, but part of him didn’t want to pick up his next description. Taking them meant Race wasn’t there.  

“I miss him too, ya know,” The soft, almost pitying tone was back, “I know what it’s like. I know that it hurts.”

“Do you?” Spot said, anger returning to his tone, “Do you know what it’s like to wake up everyday to find your bed empty where it should be full?  Do you know what it’s like to lose a part of you?  He was my everything, you can’t possibly know what it’s like to-“

“I do,” Albert snapped, stopping Spot’s stream of fury, “I was in the car, Sean, I watched him die, too. He was my best fuckin’ friend.”

“But you didn’t kill him!” Spot shouted, standing.

“Neither did you,” Albert shot back, eyes glinting, “I was an accident.”

“But if I had just seen the truck,” Spot choked out, tears returning, “If I had just stopped.”

Albert let out a frustrated huff, “Spot, it wasn’t your fuckin’ fault,” He closed his eyes to compose himself, reaching for Spot, who recoiled, “Can I touch you?”

“No.”

Albert scrubbed a hand down his face, “Listen, I want to be here for you, I want to help. You were doin’ so well.”

Spot looked down in shame and Race clicked his tongue, “He still is doing well, Al, lay off.”

“We can work this out together,” Albert continued, “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Neither am I,” Race added.

“You don’t want me to be happy,” Spot said, voice dangerously low, “He makes me happy and you want him gone.”

“I want you to be healthy,” Albert said, “He isn’t healthy.”

Spot sat back down, resting his head in his hands.

“Look at me, Spot,” Race said, kneeling beside him, “I’m right here, baby, it’s okay.”

“This isn’t good for you,” Albert said, kneeling on his other side, “Don’t you want to get past this?”

“No,” Spot said, voice cracking, “I want him back.”

“I do too, we all miss him.”

“But you don’t know,” Spot said, shaking his head, “You don’t get it.”

“I’m hurting, too.”

“Not like me.”

“Spot, look at me, baby,” Race muttered, “Look at me.”

“I don’t like to see you hurtin’.”

“Then get out.”

“Sean, don’t shut me out,” Albert said, firmly.

“No, leave me the fuck alone.”

“You think it doesn’t hurt me every fuckin’ day too? Do you know what I’d do to get my best friend back?”

“Spot, love, I’m here for you.”

“You think I’m not broken knowin’ I get to finish school without him?  Knowin’ he’ll never dance with me again?”

“Spottie, look at me.”

Spot clamped his hands over his ears, trying to block out both voices, but they persisted.

“I know I’m not hurtin’ in the same way, Sean, but I’m hurtin’.”

“I love you, baby, I’m not goin’ anywhere. I’m not leaving ya.”

“Stop it,” Spot burst, standing abruptly, “Both of you shut the fuck up, I-“

He looked wildly between Race and Albert, trying to stop the weight that was threatening to consume his chest.  Everything was too much all of a sudden and he whimpered, eyes darting around the room for an escape.  He shook his head, biting his lip to hold in the sobs that threatened to escape him as he grabbed his jacket from its hook, leaving the apartment and slamming the door behind him.  

Albert heaved an unsteady breath, realizing for the first time that he was shaking.  The familiar lump that had permanently manifested in his throat since the accident rose and he pressed the backs of his knuckles to his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” He forced out, “I’m so sorry.”

Race sat down next to him, placing a hand on the back of his neck, like they used to do when one of them was upset, “I know.”

-

thanks for reading, chiefs

stay tuned for part three with al shit

hmu to be added to my tag

TAG LIST: @bencookisagod @we-dont-sell-papes @suddenly-im-respecsable

@aw-jus-let-em-try @well-the-kids-do-too @spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn @thatpoorguysheadisspinning @spec-s-pecs

@andthewoildwillknow @the-newsies-justice-for-zas-blog @sunshine-e-cigarettes @have-we-got-news-for-you @musical-shitposts @thebroadwayaesthetic

@thomasbeingthomas

@irondad-spiderson-duo

@snakesarenonexistent

@i-got-no-clue-what-im-doing

@kpop-kk

@mentallytiredgoat

@yxseminx

@be-more-chill-evan-hansen

@stopthe-presses

@elmers-half-a-cup

@and-i-lostmy-shoe

@spot-me50-papes

@honeynutpoptarts

@newsies-ensemble

@bennie-badeend

@auspicioustarantula

@glxxmboys

[etlivnheart]

( cody fern, demi male, he/him, fire emblem: three houses ) * &. i know it must be scary for you, dimitri alexandre blaiddyd, after not surviving the takeover. to turn into someone like dimitri a. baker, a twenty-four year-old housekeeper at cozy corner inn & cafe, right here in castle town. just remember that you are as chivalrous as you are misguided, and to be wary, be safe, be true to who you are : heroic through and through. ( back on my bullshit ) 

           alright folks I hope y’all are ready to STRAP YOURSELVES IN bc hoooooooly hell do I have a lot to say abt this kid. he was the muse I originally planned to bring in alongside Zelda when CT first opened for apps bt then I,,, had seconds thots and picked up A Thot sooo. back to square one and I can tELL ALREADY I’ve made a good decision. More under the cut pls but beware of FE3H Blue Lions spoilers !!

⁠— BEFORE CASTLE TOWN

Alright so I’m gonna say this now : Dimitri’s general backstory is no walk in the park , and for some , it may be triggering. I’m going to warn you that this bit will contain some content relating to mental illness ( not named specifically in-game but most prominently ptsd & depression ) , violence/war , and ( parental ) death.

So Dimitri is the crown prince of the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus - a wintry kingdom in Northern Fodlan. When you meet him , he’s a student at Garreg Mach Monastery’s Officers Academy & the head of his homeland’s respective house , the Blue Lions.

And at first glance - Dimitri is a fucking sweetheart and he’s diligent , kind , maybe a little cautious especially around fragile objects and there’s always some... allusions that there’s way more to him than this Disney Prince air he seems to carry.

Yeah... there is.

So Dimitri. His parents ( father & stepmother ) died in an incident known as the Tragedy of Duscur where Faerghus’ king and queen were killed , many people died ( including the elder brother of Dimitri’s childhood friend , Felix ) , and the people of Duscur were blamed for it. Ever since , Dimitri’s trauma & survivor’s guilt has only been left to fester and settle to the point where he believes he won’t be able to be at peace until he fulfills revenge for those who passed - to the point where he claims he can also see the ghosts of the dead , ushering him to avenge them.

This tends to manifest in a side of Dimitri that makes him a fierce warrior on the battlefield. But this doesn’t really show full force until the timeskip rolls around , Byleth disappears , and Dimitri’s lost his final crutch and it’s pretty much at this point where his life takes a major turn for the worse - yeah this kid can’t catch a break.

He becomes more and more obsessed with the idea of revenge now that there’s a clear enemy in sight and he constantly is scared of failing his lost loved ones if he can’t succeed in taking her down. He’s been on his own with no-one to hang onto since he thinks his best buddy - who he saved from Duscur - is dead and so many people think he’s dead and once he’s found he’s not the same as in the beginning. He’s now tenfold sucked into that one objective until someone else he loves is lost and normally you think that would only make it worse. But it doesn’t. Since now Byleth’s there.

Byleth’s assistance and compassion teaches him that he can also live for the living and himself rather than focus on only those he lost - and that is what they’d want for him, too. So throughout the rest of the game he reverts back to how he was similarly in the beginning of the game - less aggressive & impulsive and more careful & considerate ( and back to being your typical sweetie ) and he realizes his actions during that period were wrong and he’s willing to atone rather than wallow in his own negativity - and it’s through help him others that he begins to walk a better path and gets his own happy ending in the story ; he learns to forgive and to give chances, even though sometimes those chances are tossed back in his face.

DIMITRI, AS A CHARACTER,,, REALLY MEANS THE WORLD TO ME ( as sb who has ptsd & depression myself ) and his development in my opinion ( since now I’m closing in on all four routes ) is probably the most drastic & in depth of the three lords. 

He does have some issues that he recognizes & comes to terms with seeking help with once he realizes that he’s deserving of it - since Dimitri’s whole thing is that he doesn’t think he’s deserving of anyone’s kindness or love or help or compassion thanks to his own grief & guilt. 

He will give you the shirt off his back and he’s definitely not someone who enjoys being seen on a higher level than others and he’s so human in the sense that he’s one of the only people in Faerghus who refuses to believe Duscur was orchestrated by the Duscurian people. He saves Dedue - who devotes his entire life to him - but only wishes for Dedue to see him as a friend. He just wants a friend.

Some facts !

I forget what the exact word for it is but Dimitri can’t taste anything except... cheese?? Is that it?? Is that where the cheese thing come from?? Yeah basically he can’t taste anything.

He possesses the Crest of Blaiddyd which enhances his strength to superhuman levels to the point where, when he was only eight years old, he snapped a sword clean in half on accident.

Again I will say he’s a major sweetie & I highly recommend at least reading through some of his supports since my god all of them are... so good. I fucking love Dimitri.

Also he’s bi because I fucking said so and it’s a CRIME you can’t s-rank him as both masculine & feminine Byleth.

⁠— BEFORE CASTLE TOWN

SOOOOO Mitya here is a housekeeper at Cozy Corner Inn. He didn’t survive the takeover - but his memories are returning at a quicker pace than that of my other character who didn’t survive, Zelda, as Dimitri’s already beginning to see glimpses of his past throughout dreams

...well, mainly nightmares unfortunately : ( but you get the drill

He has a lot of really awful nightmares but once in a while he dreams of this dark-haired person with a smile that no-one else has and it puts him... at ease whenever he wakes up

I also imagine he routinely volunteers at local shelters or centres or the like just because it’s very In-Character for him to do so

I DON’T HAVE,,, A LOT OF WHAT HIS LIFE IS LIKE IN CT AS OF RN but even tho his eye is never explained in-game he thinks in CT the scar he got over it was from a cat ahsushauhshs

love tht

ANYWAY YEAH IM GONNA WORK ON SAM’S INTRO SOOOOOOOOON but we’ll see if exhaustion doesn’t hit me first

pls gimme byleth i’ll cry

[areax]

what's lizzie rivers' story? im curious! :)

this got very long so im putting a lot of it under a cut if you want to read the abridged lizzie lore book. it also deals with a lot of heavy stuff so… be warned.

she’s inspired by the stephen king cinematic universe (and book universe), mostly it, the shining, castle rock, and doctor sleep. i envisioned her as being probably around the age of the kids in it, maybe a bit older, and having grown up in or near derry in that similar kind of environment but not having been a part of their entire crew. more like a character that’s mentioned like once as part of the background of the universe.

her powers can be classified as a type of shining, but it’s slightly different and the way in which she… dealt with it is also different. when she was a kid it manifested as a kind of extra-sensory awareness of everything around her: she knew exactly where things were, even hidden objects, and she could sense emotions and sometimes thoughts if they were loud enough. she didn’t see spirits and didn’t have premonitions, but she would have intense feelings from certain places. for example, if she was at a battlefield where many people had died the collective memory of pain would affect her negatively.

she had a terrible childhood for reasons not related to her powers; her parents were neglectful and abusive, and other adult figures were indifferent or unsympathetic. as a teenager she was very into drugs and alcohol to dull the effects of her powers which, especially as she reached puberty, had become overwhelming. as a young adult she became part of a cult for several years, where [DATA EXPUNGED].

after that, her powers were severely limited and changed: she essentially had no extra-sensory perception except in the most extreme of circumstances (as in encountering a being of immense power or being witness to a place or event of extreme and willful emotion). the flip side to this was that she could perceive through physically touching with her hands, but as she was in a bad state, any touch would evoke negative memories and feelings in herself and the subject. she started wearing gloves at all times to prevent accidental instances of this.

i like writing little bits of dialogue from my characters describing their experiences as if to a close friend, so i have a bit from lizzie on her powers:

“I hurt people. Mostly not on purpose. I have a disease. There’s something inside me. It’s me but it’s not me. It’s like a big dark spider web connecting all the different parts of me and outside of me. If I touch someone, the web spreads into them. It tries to hurt them and I can’t stop it. I used to be better. It wasn’t always good but it didn’t hurt people unless I wanted it to. When I was a kid it helped me do things and know things. It used to feel more like me. But now it’s uncontrollable.”

during this time she roams around the country in a kind of stupor and is only resolved in a quest to “kill bad people” which is as formless as it seems to be on its face but is her way of justifying having this responsibility, combined with her still-childlike conception of the world as black and white, and her guilt over her past mistakes.

eventually, she is able to recover a bit and gains back the positive side of what she can do, but she never reaches the heights of her childhood, both because that’s a common theme in king’s books (that the shining is most potent in children) and because she’d been very scarred. it’s a case of “earn your happy ending” that i hope fits in with the other instances of characters with the shining: dick halloran and danny torrance weren’t living high in mansions, but they eventually found fulfillment in their lives because they had a purpose and familial / friend connections, and could use their powers for good.

i think lizzie probably becomes a lighthouse keeper or something of the sort, although the king track record for “isolated location + the shining” is pretty bad, so maybe a janitor or groundskeeper for a golf course or something.

[distractedhistotech]

Ghost +1

Sydney was in the back of the van.  She preferred it back there since she could move around more.  Plus it felt weird staring out the window since losing her eye. She guessed it was the loss of depth perception.  She was still learning how to gauge distance.

“So, that was kind of lame.  Why did they think that guy was a ghost anyway?” asked Sydney as she tried to contact juggle some balls they had and dropped them all over the place.  “He didn’t even put a lot of effort into his costume.”

“They were really superstitious,” said Arthur.  “Only a few steps from being a cult when you think about it.  They decide that anything strange has to have a supernatural or spiritual cause.  Don’t even think there’s a scientific explanation because why couldn’t it be something that proves they’re right.”

“Arthur, you’re starting to ramble,” interrupted Vivi.

Arthur blushed. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine. They were a bit…extreme,” admitted Vivi. “I can see why it would upset you.”

Mystery decided this was a good reason to lay his head on Arthur’s lap.  Sydney then flung her arms around him.  “Yeah!  I thought they were creepy too!”

“Sydney!  I’m driving!”

“Pretty sure they thought I was an idiot,” continued Sydney.  “I mean that tone they used with me was just insulting!  Just because I’m missing an eye doesn’t mean I’m an idiot! Lots of people are missing parts and are smart!  I’m not a pirate!”  Sydney paused.  “Actually, there were some pretty intelligent pirates.  I don’t know where I was going with that.  I seem to come back to pirates a lot lately.  I know why I do, but it’s getting kind of old.  I need to find something else to obsess with when I get riled up.”

“You could go back to talking about comics,” suggested Vivi.

Sydney sighed. “Yeah, I miss that…Why do I have so much trouble bringing comics up nowadays?  It used to be second nature, but now I have to focus to talk about them. Even though I still love comics. It doesn’t make sense.  Is this part of growing up?  Part of recovering from a traumatic event?  Both?  It feels like something’s wrong.  But isn’t that normal now?”  Sydney rested her forehead on the back of Arthur’s head, not noticing how hard he was gripping the steering wheel.  “Do you ever feel like that?”

“Yes,” said Arthur. He’d felt like it since he woke up in a hospital missing an arm, missing a friend, missing memories, missing so much… “I don’t think it’s gonna go away.” Mystery let out a whine and licked one of Sydney’s hands.

Vivi looked between the two as the mood quickly started to darken.  God, she just wanted her two friends to be happy like they used to be. She needed to find a way to change the subject and make them smile.  “Why don’t we pick up a couple of pizzas or something and then watch a couple of hours of Star Trek or Star Wars or Captain America?”

Arthur caught on to what she was trying to do and smiled.  “That would be nice.  It’s been a while since we hung out.”  He frowned. “That’s my fault.”  He’d been busy looking for Lewis.  He was trying not to ignore his remaining friends, but it was hard when he wanted to find the other one and mentioning him did…something to them.

“What the heck are you working on anyway?” asked Sydney.  “You’re not usually this secretive.  You’re not trying to make a mechanical eye again, are you?”

“No!...Not usually anyway,” admitted Arthur.

“I can see where he’s coming from,” said Vivi.  “I don’t think we can buy another eye if something else goes wrong.  We need an alternative method.”

Sydney shuddered. “Okay, point taken.  Being blind sucked.  I don’t know how someone can live with that for a lifetime. Especially if you’re born like that! Can you imagine never knowing colors? And I bet light doesn’t make a lot of sense either.  And you can’t play videogames!”

“Can’t work on cars or fabricate parts,” continued Arthur.

“Probably can’t paint either,” mused Vivi.  “Unless the various colors smelled different from one another.”

Sydney wrinkled her nose.  “Is-Is that a thing?  And I don’t mean synesthesia!  Can blind people have synesthesia?  Or deaf people?  Or anyone missing one sense?”

“What if sounds are linked to smell instead?” suggested Arthur.

“Can that happen?”

“Dunno.  Maybe.”

“Pigments are just a type of chemical compound, so it would make sense for them to have a scent,” said Vivi, keeping the conversation from veering off in a completely different direction for once.

“Depends on the chemical.  Some don’t have a scent, or at least the scent is too faint for humans to pick up on,” explained Arthur.

“I dunno, I swear I was smelling more right before you fixed my eye,” argued Sydney.

“It’s not quite the same thing.  When you lose a sense you pay more attention to the ones that are left, like reassigning roles.  We get the most information from sight, so when someone loses their sense of sight they pay a lot more attention to little things that they didn’t even realize they were ignoring.  Also, I think there’s some neuroplasticity involved.  Your brain isn’t using the part that used to be for putting together what your eyes saw, so it starts using it for other things over time.” Arthur was silent for a moment. “Um.  But you, uh, would know better than me, given, you know.  Sorry, I got a little too into the science papers I’ve been reading.”

Sydney smiled and shrugged.  “It’s fine. I think it’s pretty interesting, even if I don’t understand all of it.”  She tapped her eyepatch.  “Does losing an eye affect how much of my brain it uses?”

“Just one?  I’m not sure.  You are seeing less…”

“Can you still smell and hear more than you’re used to?” asked Vivi.

Sydney shrugged. “Dunno.  I don’t think so.  Was kind of distracted at the time.  Plus, everything looked different when I could see again.”

Vivi huffed. “It is just so unfair.  How is it that my abilities still haven’t manifested but my half of the eye lets you see spirits?”

“It is really strange,” agreed Sydney.

“Maybe it’s because your abilities are already active,” suggested Arthur.  “And you do have some control over ‘em.”

Vivi hummed in thought.  “That might be it.  There are still so many unknowns…”

“Hey, I don’t care how as long as no one else has to go blind,” said Sydney.  “Besides, I’m sure something will wake you up eventually.”

“Yeah, but what if I’m like 40 when it finally happens?” complained Vivi.  “Heck, if I have kids by then, they might have gotten their power before me…”

Arthur winced. “Do you want kids?”

Vivi nodded. “Of course!  One, maybe two.  I just have to find the right guy,” she said, giving Arthur a significant glance.

Arthur missed said glance entirely as he was distracted by thoughts of what could have been. Sydney was blind on that side. The only one to notice was Mystery, who huffed.  Why did life have to be so difficult for these kids?  The last time he’d had charges this prone to trouble…

It hadn’t ended well. Mystery would rather not dwell on the depressing memories.

Vivi realized her hint had gone over their heads yet again and decided to just move on.  “Do you guys want kids?”

“I want one!  So there can be a Sydney Scoville III!” proclaimed Sydney.  “But just one.  Don’t think I could handle more than that.”

Arthur was silent. Lewis wanted kids.  He’d be an amazing father with how well he handled his sisters.  “I dunno if I want children.  I don’t want to pass on any of my issues.”

Vivi and Sydney both frowned at Arthur’s reasoning.  “Most of your issues are due to your early upbringing,” pointed out Vivi. “You wouldn’t make those same choices and mistakes.  That would prevent most of those issues from happening.”

“They could still pick up the behavior from me,” argued Arthur.  “There’s only so much that I can change.”

“I don’t think you need to change,” said Sydney.  “I mean, yeah, you’ve got anxiety issues, but lots of people do.  You’re also smart and nice and help people and have cool hair and stro-”

“What if I attract something dangerous?” interrupted Arthur.

“Then I’ll just keep living nearby,” reasoned Sydney.  She’d live with him if he asked.  “I mean, I don’t see why I would leave Tempo.”

“Me either. Tempo is our home,” agreed Vivi. She placed a hand on Arthur’s flesh and blood hand.  “We’re stuck with each other.  For life.”

Arthur felt himself cheer up a bit at that.  He gave Vivi a smile and tried to give Sydney one as best he could.  Maybe he was being selfish, but he wanted to stay close to his friends.

And then the dashboard started to spark.  Arthur’s eyes widened.  “What?! No, no, no…”  He stomped on the gas several times but failed to pick up speed.

Vivi frowned. “Is something wrong with the van?”

“There shouldn’t be! I just performed maintenance on it!”

Sydney raised an eyebrow.  “Am I the only one who thinks the purple sparks were weird?”

Arthur blinked. “Purple?”

Sydney nodded. “Yeah, I was staring right at the dashboard.”  The high beam light looked like a jellyfish.  “Definitely purple.”

“That is not a thing that should happen!” shouted Arthur.

Vivi nodded. “Electricity’s supposed to just be white, which suggests this isn’t normal.”  The van came to a stop right in front of…Vivi blinked several times.  “A dancing mansion?”

Okay, it wasn’t actually dancing.  However, it was sort of pulsing/bopping to a beat that one could fell in their bones. It was noticeably run down and purple and had eerie lights in the windows.

“There’s no way that’s not haunted,” deadpanned Sydney.

“Erm…”  Arthur tried turning over the car again.  “We don’t, have to investigate, do we?”

Vivi thought of what happened last time they’d jumped into an investigation without any preparation.

Blood. Hospitals.  Loss.  Guilt.

“If you can get the van started, we’re leaving,” said Vivi.  “Sydney, you’re not wearing your suppressor?”

Sydney shook her head. “Still practicing controlling it on my own.”

“Good.  Don’t reign it in.”

Mystery just stared at the mansion.  He recognized its aura.  He could barely believe it.

When did Lewis come back and what did he have planned? 

Lewis was planning to exact his revenge.  The plan had been simple:  Create a mansion on a road that they often traveled along near Tempo (He couldn’t get into Tempo, but that could be because of some of the wards Vivi had tried setting up.), lure the Mystery Skulls (especially Arthur) into the mansion, separate them, bring Arthur to his location, kill Arthur, and reunite with the girls and Mystery, with possible minor changes as were needed.  He was also open to making Arthur confess what happened to the girls (They must not have seen what happened to just go along with him.) before killing him.

The plan started to unravel as soon as the van came to a stop in front of his mansion.  Part of that was because instead of rushing into the mansion on the heels of Vivi like he was expecting, they stayed in the van. And stayed.  A lot longer than he recalled them ever doing so when he was alive.

Part of it was indirectly Sydney’s fault.  He’d known that her aura was potent against malevolent spirits and the like, but he hadn’t really appreciated it until he felt it pressing down on him.  From all the way outside.  He found himself rubbing his temples.  Ow.  No wonder the nastier spirits went out of their way to avoid her.  He was actually leaking some energy.  He could last for some time as long as he was careful, but theoretically, they could just stay in the van until he was too drained to keep them here.  If they tried that, he’d have to go out and confront them.  Not something he wanted to do, but if it became necessary…

Lewis wondered why he was being affected in the first place.  He wasn’t evil…Well, okay, he did want to kill Arthur.  That was justified, but maybe it was gray enough for Sydney’s ability to categorize him as malevolent.  If that was the case, then it would probably stop after he killed Arthur and no longer had any desire to hurt someone.

Lewis was dragged from his musings as several figures started exiting the van.  Finally!  Lewis quickly started setting up the finishing touches of his plan.

It was time to end this. 

Arthur had to admit defeat.  “I’ll need to look under the hood, and I don’t want to do that in front of a haunted mansion.”  He sighed. “I don’t wanna go inside either.”

Sydney had been staring at the mansion the whole time.  She could see the music.  And anger. This eye was so weird.  “I think you’d be okay.  Pretty sure my aura will reach that far.”

Mystery could confirm that her aura did extend that far and would retain enough potency to be effective. Not that he could tell them, but it was certainly a weight off his shoulders.

Vivi started handing out various items for protection and fighting.  “It’s a tough choice.  Stay out here alone but relatively safe or go inside with us to stay close to Sydney and me.”

Arthur groaned. If he was less worried about the girls’ safety he would stay outside, but he couldn’t help but worry that if he let them go inside that he would never see them again.  It had happened before.  Even if he couldn’t do anything to protect them, he could draw fire away from them.

“I think I’ll go with you guys,” Arthur decided.

Sydney and Vivi studied him for a moment before Sydney suddenly bit her thumb and smeared some blood in the center of his forehead.  “Just in case.”

Arthur instinctively looked up with crossed eyes for a moment.  “Uh.  Okay. I guess that’ll work.”

“It should. There is power in blood,” said Vivi as she gave him some holy water and slipped a beaded necklace over his head and under his shirt.  “We can try practicing making protective symbols with it too.”

Sydney chuckled. “Like an anime.”  She nodded.  “Anything that you think will help.”

Arthur fought down the urge to wipe at the blood on his forehead.  “Can I just say that I don’t like having other people’s blood on me?” It brought back bad memories.

Sydney winced. “Oh.  Sorry.  Should’ve asked first, shouldn’t I?”

Arthur took a deep breath.  “I’m fine. I’ll be fine.  You said it might help so it’s something to try.”  The blood itched on his forehead.  “But I am totally scrubbing it off when we get out of here.”

Vivi nodded. “Sounds like a decent enough compromise.”  She handed an ofuda to Sydney.  Sydney smeared some more blood on the back of it.  “I don’t want either of you getting hurt again.  You’re just starting to get back to where you were before.”

That made both of them wince.  The last few months of learning to live with new handicaps had been difficult and frustrating in several ways.  They didn’t want a repeat with themselves or Vivi or Mystery.

All four of them silently vowed to protect the others.

The walk up to the mansion’s front door took just a few seconds.  Vivi knocked on the doors (She was concerned that the inhabitants would be excited by Arthur knocking and see Sydney knocking as a declaration of war.), which creaked open ominously.  The inched in, the doors slamming shut behind them.

The darkness didn’t last long enough for them to pull out flashlights.  Several purple wisps of fire floated by and lit candles lined along the walls and set on a chandelier.

Vivi absently noted that the layout kind of reminded her of the Spencer mansion, except a lot more purple.

“Sydney, stop humming.”

“Oops.  Didn’t notice-”

Several purple ghosts suddenly popped up.  “Who-o-o-o-oa!”

Most of the group immediately tensed up.  Vivi didn’t immediately though.  “Cute!”

They really were adorable…until more popped up behind them.  “This time I might just disa-Who-o-o-o-who-o-o-oa!”  They suddenly got pointy toothed with claws. “Oh yeah!”

Nope.  They took off running down the hallway through break in the ghosts.

“This time I might just disappear!”

A suit of armor suddenly lunged towards them and swung an ax.  Sydney and Vivi dove under the ax.  Arthur vaulted over it.  Mystery barely dodged it, having to use his kitsune magic to retract his head into his body.

“Gah!”

“Mystery!”

“)%$*&$^#$(%^)*%(&%*&$&!”

Mystery popped his head back out before any uncomfortable questions could be asked.

“Who-o-o-o-who-o-o-oa…”

They abruptly realized that the paintings lining the hall were moving.  They suddenly leapt out.  “Oh yeah!”

The Mystery Skulls leapt into each other’s arms.  Thankfully, the portrait spirits pulled back into the paintings.  “Who-o-o-o-oa…”  And then the lady painting reached out and pulled a rope next to her painting.

A trapdoor opened under them.  They fell down screaming, and things became bizarre, even by their standards.  They weren’t falling as quickly as they should be. It was more like they were floating.  Not to mention there were several random items in the space with them.  A few hours later, they would comment on how it was oddly reminiscent of Alice in Wonderland.

They floated past several mirrors.  Vivi was a bit confused by the fact that her reflection had completely purple eyes. From what Mystery could see in his cracked mirror they could see past glamours.  Arthur was facing away from the mirrors so he didn’t see that they failed to reflect his prosthetic.  Sydney did faintly notice this but was a bit distracted by how her reflection showed her right after her injury with her remaining eye leaking various colors from it.

Then Arthur’s fall suddenly sped up.  Vivi and Sydney made to grab him, but just missed him.  Then they noticed Sydney was falling even slower and tried to grab each other, but it was too late again.

Sydney let out an ‘oof’ and shot to her feet as she landed.  “I’m armed!” she shouted, brandishing the ofuda.  She turned around.  There were a bunch of boxes, a dusty bed with no covers, and… a mannequin in a wedding dress and holding an ax?  Sydney thought she was in the basement until she noticed some windows that she ran over to.  She felt her brain short circuit.  “How the *&^*) do you fall down into the attic?!”

Vivi and Mystery had landed in a kitchen where a pair of dagwood sandwiches were laid out on the center counter.  The two stared at them for several moments but managed to pull themselves away. “Right.  Separated…We should look for Arthur first.  Sydney can take care of herself in this sort of situation.” Her stomach growled.  Mystery’s growled even louder.  “…I wonder if it would be safe to grab a few pieces.”

Arthur landed on his ass in what was probably the basement.  He absentmindedly glanced upward in confusion (How did that work? Ghost logic was so weird.) before zeroing in on a large coffin with a skull and thorny vine design on the top of the lid.  It was beating like the rest of the house.

Not good.

The coffin slowly opened, revealing a jawless skull floating above a large body in a nice suit.

Lewis narrowed his eye sockets as he floated out and slammed his feet in front of Arthur.  He glared at his murderer, full of hate and anger.

Arthur stared in fear, unable to recognize his dead friend.  All he saw was a scary, probably powerful, likely dangerous ghost that had separated him from his friends.

Lewis broke the silence by pointing a finger at Arthur.  “Fuck, it’s you I hate the most.”

Arthur gulped and pointed at himself.  “Buh-buh-Why?”

It was a reasonable question from Arthur’s point of view.  Lewis…it did occur to him that he wasn’t as recognizable without his face.  He lit the braziers and let his hair form. “Does this answer your question?!”

No, it didn’t, but Arthur decided he wasn’t going to explain that this was a case of mistaken identity to a ghost that probably wasn’t going to listen.  He threw the vial of holy water, turned on his heel, and ran.

Lewis did recoil a bit at the holy water.  He was a fire ghost.  Water stung even if it wasn’t holy.  Then he threw it off, decided this was proof of Arthur’s guilt, and gave chase.

Arthur was in good shape (He didn’t understand how he was still so healthy when he’d been hospitalized and locked in his workroom so much for the last few months.) and used to running from scary things.  He glanced behind him and saw the ghost practically flying towards him.  No more glancing back.  He put on a burst of speed.

Oh, hey, Vivi and Mystery.  “Angry ghost! Run!”

Vivi and Mystery looked away from the sandwiches they were still debating eating.  They looked in the direction Arthur came from, threw the sandwiches at the angry ghost, and ran after Arthur.  Lewis didn’t bother trying to avoid the sandwich contents and flew right through them.

“We need to find Sydney!” shouted Vivi.

“Where is she?!” shouted Arthur.

“I don’t know!”

Mystery could feel that Sydney had ended up in the attic and was managing to work her way down. He pulled ahead and ran up some stairs, Arthur and Vivi close behind him.  They ran through a bunch of doors and rooms.

Sydney heard the racket and threw open the door of the room she’d wandered into.  “Angry Elvis ghost!”

That threw Lewis for a loop.  “Elvis? Are you kid-”  He saw the eyepatch.  “What happened to your-”

Sydney threw an ofuda at him.  Lewis yelped and pulled it off.  That hurt!

“You stay away from Arthur!” demanded Sydney.

That hurt almost as much as the ofuda.  “You don’t get it.  He-”

Vivi darted back and grabbed Sydney.  “What’re you waiting for?!”  She then dragged Sydney off.

Okay, Vivi and Sydney didn’t know about his murder.  Somehow. Maybe it was post traumatic amnesia or something.  Clearly, this needed to be remedied.  Also, why was Sydney wearing an eyepatch?  She wasn’t wearing an eyepatch for the heck of it.  There’d been scars peeking out.  He gave chase, now equally intent on telling Vivi and Sydney what happened along with killing Arthur.

He threw fire to keep Arthur from moving down a hallway.  Arthur turned and stared at him fearfully.  Lewis felt his desire for vengeance clawing up his heart.

And then Vivi and Sydney put themselves between them, Vivi with her arms outstretched as if to shield Arthur as much as possible, Sydney with her hands up as if she was prepared to fight him.

This was wrong. Vivi and Sydney were supposed to be on his side.  He wasn’t the enemy!  He just needed…Maybe…Yes.  That would work.  He willed his anchor towards them.

They just needed to see the proof of who he was, that they knew him.

The flames died down. Arthur was certain he knew the way to the front door from this spot.  He grabbed Vivi and Sydney and booked it.

Vivi and Sydney glanced back once.

Mystery made sure to take up the rear.

Lewis stared in disbelief and heartbreak as his murderer and the love(s?) of his life and (more than) best friend.

And his anchor fell and broke.

And Lewis switched to frustration and anger and despair and why did this happen to him?! Why why why?!

He screamed, pouring his everything into it as his fire erupted around him.

The living Mystery Skulls barely made it through the doors in time to avoid being burned alive. Mystery might have had something to do with it.  They rushed to the van.  “Go go go!”

Arthur revved the van. It started.  “I’m going!”

They peeled out of there.

None of them saw the figure watching them from one of the high windows.  Lewis watched as the van drove away.  He pressed down on his cracked anchor and looked at the picture inside.

It was from shortly after he and Vivi started dating.  He had an arm around Vivi, who was hugging him.  Sydney had an arm thrown over his shoulder while he used his free arm to support her.  No Arthur. The three of them were smiling and happy and whole and alive.

They could never go back to that.

Lewis barely noticed the tear running down his face as he finally passed out and returned to his anchor, the house fading around him.

[anightskiss]

baby, I can’t lie.. I’m really in love with u. I kinda hate how vulnerable it makes me being with but at the same time.. I love it. I love how I can just.. be what I am/who I am/ where I am.. with you.. but if I’m being honest-I already know you moving to Germany for your architecture will kill me because you know I want to see you like literally everyday.. but in the other end of that spectrum.. I want you happy my delicate flower. I want you as you are, as you were and as you will be. I just.. can’t put to words how you make me feel.. I can’t.. but I can assure you that I’m sure of you as I’m sure of film. As I’m sure of art. You can make my heart smile for eons.. and I know, it won’t always be this happy futuristic.. but I want to go through it all with you that’s why I can write a whole thread about you on tumblr and not send it to you.. I don’t want to be selfish and selfishly ask you to move with me to LA.. but I just know.. it’s all about the universe, whatever reality manifests through space & time. I just.. guess I need you as much as you say you need me.. and I don’t know, I’m just scared.. you wanna know my real life horror.. the thought of losing you to someone else who will be more attractive than me. Let me be honest, keep it a stack with you. I want you all to myself. I need you all to myself. But it’s funny.. in that same world, I want you to dedicate your heart to those around you, your brothers, your mother, your sister.. I just want you to be free but still wrapped around my wings whenever you feel the need. I love.. can I just say.. I love your voice.. how you talk, how you smile, how your heart opens heatwaves within. Take my breath inside you. Let me keep you till death-size. But I know.. I know you ain’t really into planning ahead with the future and taking.. but why can’t I stop seeing you in my mine? Have I fallen to hard.. is my adoration for you to high? I don’t know.. the morning is going to bristle.. the sunset will creep.. and she’ll probably message me around the early AMs and she’ll somehow make my day like she always does.. now great, I don’t even know why I’m talking in third person.. but this is just a diary entry.. doesn’t need to be perfect.. imperfection is beautiful. But im telling you no lies by saying this.. but your eyes my lady-those are two ocean waves of perfection.. so they must of had it all wrong. Look, I like you.. really do.. I love how you make me feel like I’m a kid again.. like im in high school finding love for the first time.. You make me feel.. oh the feels I feel with you.. hell, I can’t even hold your hands yet.. kiss you yet… I want perfect time.. but it’s the worlds hardest job to compose myself with you around.. when all I want to do is hold you, adorn you. I want you.. I want you so bad.. hell..I’m really in love here.

[ahkaraii]

oh gosh i love your meta, now i have to ask your opinion about Kakashi, im fascinated by his trauma and how he dealt with it, which i think was a bad way, but still interesting. What do you think about him and his role? about his time as Hokage?

Okay, let me first start by saying: I love Kakashi. I love him a toooon, and I will happily draw a thousand comic strips with him as main character because I find him fascinating. But my love for him does not preclude the fact that Kakashi is not a “morally good” man, and probably would never become one unprompted.

First: he is a shinobi, and all that it entails - a professional killer, a man loyal to a fascist-like system, who will die to protect its ideals. He is a product of this system and will dutifully perpetuate it (unless someone he admires proposes a different solution, cough, Naruto, this is where you come in).

Second: his internal ‘moral code’ is incredibly inconsistent over his life because Kakashi doesn’t objectively know what is good or bad -- as a child he used to think his father was Good but then it turned out his dad was Bad, and that set the stage for his ongoing anxiety about not knowing what is Right or Wrong. (It also didn’t help that he was a child soldier at age five, dear lord). What Kakashi does know is what is valuable and valued in the shinobi system, and later, what was valuable and valued by important figures in his life that have died. Everything that falls outside of this is deemed “Trash” or simply “Unimportant”.

Third: Kakashi is a very psychologically fragile guy. He suffers from anxiety, depression, and depersonalization, to name a few symptoms. The resulting mess is what appears to be a schizoid personality with an underlying anxiety disorder that manifests through ritualistic OCD-like behavior.

Kakashi likes rules, he likes order, he likes knowing exactly what is going to happen. That’s why he reads the same silly novel a gazillion times, why he clings to a dead boy’s moral code -- the dead can’t change their minds and change the rules on him, and the novel’s ending is already written, it can’t be retconned on him. It gives him mental stability in a very inconsistent and threatening world that has pulled the rug on him too many times for him to ever be able to trust the solidity of the ground below him.

As an adolescent he had symptoms of anxiety-induced OCD -- cleaning his hands over and over comes to mind. He visits the graves of his dead for hours and hours without fail. He always wears his mask, come rain sleet or snow.

So it seems that in order to be sane he needs a schedule, he needs things to be the same or at least predictable. Missions are easy. What is the objective? How am I going to accomplish it? Mission complete. Come home. Rinse and repeat. He is at his most emotionally stable living a very predictable and ritualistic lifestyle. The rest is Trash and Unimportant.

This has remarkably translated to him being a very good shinobi, because the ideal shinobi is a kunai always ready to be drawn, that self-sharpens, that flies true and hits the mark you intended to hit. Kakashi can do that. He knows exactly what he needs to do to be just that, and that brings him peace. Perhaps not tranquillity, or happiness, but certainly a mental blankness that is absent of emotional pain, which is superior to what he feels when he’s not on a mission. His moral code before Obito is thus: the Shinobi Rules are Law, and following that strictly kept him content, because he knew that was Good.

Indeed, had Obito not died as he did, Kakashi would have placidly continued being a phenomenal rule-following shinobi. He would have made one HELL of a good ROOT agent, likely succeeded Danzo and carried on being the epitome of the darkness of a shinobi without batting an eyelid. Killing kids, burning people’s livelihoods, sabotaging peace efforts--all Good because I was ordered to and I Am Following The Rules and that is Good. But the fact of the matter is Obito DID die, and told Kakashi that the shinobi rules were Trash because Comrades Are More Important, which shattered Kakashi’s careful rules and order. So, to reduce the anxiety resulting from this loss of structure, Kakashi rearranged his moral code around Obito’s last words and carried on.

Then Obito turns out to be the bad guy. Whoops! A panel later, Kakashi now re-organizes himself to follow Naruto’s ideals instead.

What is consistent across all this? Kakashi, fundamentally, has no idea what is morally good or bad. He is full of anxiety and that anxiety is only relieved by following a set structure, a set of behaviours that can be operationally defined and followed to the letter, behaviors that produce a predictable result. If Kakashi arrives late, people will yell “you’re late!” If Kakashi pulls out his book in public, people will yell “what a weird pervert!” He assumes all these facades because they produce predictable results that comfort him in how predictable they are.

So -- all that psychological preamble aside, would Kakashi make a good Hokage?

From what I've seen (at a glance =_=) in Boruto, he is the one that helps Konoha transition from a technologically deficient village to a highly technological one. The reconstruction efforts are immense, and the city triples in size, but I don't see that many shinobi running around, so presumably the civilian:shinobi ratio has exponentially increased. Interesting to think about. I still don't know how their economy works, lmao, but whatever Kakashi did seemed to have worked and worked quite well. So that’s canon for you.

But, ignoring that sequel, because I really don't care to follow it or incorporate it into my personal headcanon, I think Kakashi would actually make for a pretty lousy Hokage, hahaha.

Kakashi is better suited to be what I’ve now taken to calling the “Shadow Hokage” -- the force behind the "Light" Hokage, as it were. Think about this: he could’ve made a phenomenal ROOT leader. In fact, he was an ANBU commander for quite a while, and he was universally acknowledged as being really good at it, both at completing missions and getting his comrades back alive. What an efficient ninja! His mission success rate combined with his minimal waste of human resources = A++ shinobi, sir!

Why not a “Light Hokage”? Well, beyond Kakashi’s “I never abandon my comrades” speech, he has very few words of wisdom to impart to impressionable youth. He can hardly communicate with fellow shinobi, how the heck do you expect him to communicate with civilians? With the daimyo? Oh, he can do it -- we saw with Yamato and Naruto and the Raikage that he is capable of bowing and talking formally, yadda yadda -- but that is not Kakashi’s strength. Why would you ever force this socially-impaired, languid-as-fuck schizoid disaster into a public, political position??? Dear lord.

He’s better suited to sticking to the shadows, imo. He can and has made the tough decisions, the cold, heartless, friend-killer decisions for the good of Konoha, even having Obito’s code eating away at him. But squatting with baby Academy students and accepting flower crowns a-la Hiruzen is just...not a thing I can see him doing for years and years with enough feeling to convince anyone he means it. He was -- quite objectively, I’d argue -- a spectacularly BAD jonin-sensei when it was just three little kids looking up to him. Imagine an entire village of children looking up to this guy, their new Cult Of Personality To Aspire To. Rip kids.

I’d much rather have Kakashi as someone below the Hokage, who takes orders from someone who wants to change the shinobi system. Have Kakashi take up the mantle of jonin-commander, if ROOT is no longer a thing. Use his keen intelligence to suggest strategies on how to allocate resources, which people to recruit and which to discard, where everyone’s skills are best suited for, what areas need improvement, etc.

Finally, please give him therapy dogs and an enthusiastic man in a wheelchair so he can ultimately retire in peace ;//u//;