#IM KILLING MY FUCKIGN SELF

[wasabijean]

hey osmosis jonesers you can read it here

[trainingdummyrabbit]

bit th bullet n joined a server t do some shime troubleshooting and slooowly taking poison damage just reading how they talk ..

[skrunksthatwunk]

world's thinnest walls versus parents' stupidest argument

[opal-owl-flight]

Your Protege. (Pt 2)

(Pt 1)

SAME DAY DELIVERY. HERE WE GO.

This is the only time theyve shown such sheer anger in front of anyone. Theyre usually just cold, or disappointed -- never furious.

Its one of the times Neo3 actually feared the captain.

MORE NOTES ABT CUTTLEFISH BELOW

Not over how Cuttlefish is this fuckign loony old man who pushes his ideas on young 3, constantly goinf "yall kids think Im crazy but LOOK WHOS RIGHT FOR ONCE", "I cant fight anymore, thats why I got you!", "Youre hero material, kid! Youre gonna be big!!"

Then raves abt how the Octarians are evil

3, who was desperate for praise from someone who reminds them of their direct relatives, does everything he says to do just to be appreciated more.

Cuttlefish taught them how to fight hand to hand. How to move and think on their feet. (Though they were given similar in their younger years)

Cuttlefish was... generally more warm and supportive than their dad, but yknow. A lot of this started bc 3 agreed to work for him. Be his deadly weapon.

-------

Cuttlefish was more concerned abt the Zapfish than 3s well-being then... He knew that the constant praising was working so hes gonna keep doing it. (...mostly bc thats what worked on HIM back then)

After 3 does his dirty work, he realized he should probably keep the kid around bc his paranoia with Octaria is a damn bitch and this kid is one hell of an ass kicker. They dont mind. Right??

3 never showed any sign of wanting to leave. Why would they, he was so kind to them, more than their dad or grandad ever was. (Also the paranoia rubbed off on them. Oops!)

Then, he asked them to go on a longer patrol with him. Pushed them to their fucking limit. Bc of what?? Octaria making moves again? (Octavio did make moves but they were already, as we say in the game, "too far from the objective to really contribute to the fight". This is why agent 4 was dragged in.)

There, 3 saw more and more that hes just a loony old man who wanted to have a fancy weapon to protect him in his crusade. A crusade they never really questioned, mind you. Theyve no reason to believe Octaria was nice in any way, not when they keep trying to kill them. (...in self defense. They havent realized, yet.)

Then they encounter 8, who had dropped her weapon at the sight of them. Raising her hands in surrender. 3 was far ahead of the coot, and managed to actually talk to her and everything. They were this close to bringing her back to Inkopolis as a friend, until the bastard ruined the moment.

Cuttlefish still told them that she was a danger. It might be a trick! Dont put your guard down! Pressured to follow their superior, 3s mask returns to their face, turning onto 8 with the herl shot ready to fire.

Then they all tumbled into the metro.......

....for Cuttlefish to use yet ANOTHER kid (8) to get him out of a hairy situation.

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Hes a crazy old man. Only caring for any of the kids beyond the platoon after they do his dirty work.

Like "mmm! Thank you for committing the war crimes in my stead. Youre a good kid, you know that? Anything I can do to support you further? Mmmm???"

...I dont think hes aware.

Hes not aware that hes harming the entire platoon, bc in his mind hes doing the greater good here. Get some easily manipulable kids on the street, shower em with praise and promises of glory and valor, and theyll do ANYTHING for you.

Including the warcrimes you keep wanting to do.

I think...I think he doesnt know hes manipulating the kids. I think he genuinely believes his own promises. He glamorizes the valor of war bc hes a commander who sits in the back of it. He really believes that this is for the best. He believes that this is how you inspire your troops to fight.

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LETS GO THATS ALL MY NOTES I SPENT ALL DAY FINISHING THIS COMIC. GOODNIGHT INKOPOLIS!!!

[darishima]

puppy your game collection is beautiful i dont know what most of those are except like the disgaeas (because youve explained them before), disco elysium (the occasional meme crosses my dash), roblox, and undertale maybeeeeee you could give me a tour of the others you like and what theyre about and stuff! whats muse dash ouppy that sounds like a rhythm game ^w^

thank you i know its incredible :3c soo here it is again i will go game by game and yap my ouppy little head off im sorry

starting from the left! desmume is a DS emulator that i got to play puyo puyo fever, a fullmetal alchemist ROM and a lucky star ROM and PPSSPP is a PSP emulator i got for uhh. i cant remember which game i specifically installed it for. i think it was puyo puyo fever 2?

roblox is. you know. roblox

my hero one's justice is a demo i downloaded from steam which i have not actually played LMAO i got the demo to see if i wanted to buy the full game but i guess its pointless because i havent bothered to check out the demo

class of 09 and class of 09 re-up (the sequel) are visual novels, hard to explain what theyre about.. basically its all about toxic evil yuri and drug abuse and self harm. its like if needy streamer overload was about coked up high school lesbians

disgaea pc is the second best game ever made

disgaea 2 pc is the number 1 best game ever made. no further explanation necessary

i have not actually played dont starve yet, it was recommended by a friend so i bought it during the steam summer sale for like 2 bucks. from what ive heard, its a survival game, kinda like minecraft if minecraft was way harder and the game hated you

disco elysium is the same, recommended by a friend, i bought it for super cheap during the summer sale, and have not touched it yet LMAO

muse dash is a rhythm game yes and its FUCKIGN INCREDIBLE. AND IM AMAIZNG AT IT. LOOK AT THESE SCORES BONESY ARENT YOU PROUD OF ME

full combo means i hit every note and didnt miss a single one >:3 im genuinely really good at the game not 2 brag,,, and YES you saw that right, hatsune miku and kagamine rin and len are playable characters!! they come with two respective DLCs which also come with a bunch of vocaloid songs and i bought them both <3 these are their sprites in game!

and if you buy it it gives you a bunch of adorable art on the loading screens :3 this isnt even all of them just a few i screenshotted. if i screenrecorded myself killing it in muse dash would you watch the video teehee...

ok back to game yapping. leaf blower revolution is an idle clicker game i got for free on steam, which i got insanely hyperfixated on for three days and played for like 14 hours straight once and then gave up and never touched it again

yume nikki is a little pixelated adventure game where you explore around a girl's weird dreams. the soundtrack is INCREDIBLE especially this song. its transcendental. listen to it while youre high trust me you have to

DDLC requires no explanation i think. its ddlc. you know what it is theres no way you dont

the song of saya (saya no uta) i will be yapping extra about because i LOVE IT. its a horror eroge visual novel about a guy named fuminori who, after a brain surgery, sees the entire world and other people as a disgusting fleshy abomination, whereas everything looks normal to other people. for example this:

is a completely normal hallway. but it looks like that to him. then he meets a girl name saya, who is the only thing in the world that looks normal to him, and he falls in love with her

and i reeeally really dont wanna spoil it cause its really good and i highly recommend you go watch it (theres a full playthrough on youtube) but lets just say saya is Not as normal as she looks.

celeste is a game ive only played a little of, but i love it so far. its a platformer about a trans woman named madeline climbing celeste mountain, and encountering a personification of her self doubt that she has to overcome to get to the top. i lovee the style of the game its so pretty and way easier than i expected it to be, which is great for me because im garbage at every game in the world that isnt muse dash or disgaea

disgaea 4 and disgaea 5 are self explanatory. i ADORE d4, though im not super far into it, but i havent started d5 yet im waiting until i finish d1 and 4

phantom brave is a game set in the same universe as disgaea which crosses over with it, i havent played more than a few minutes of the game but obviously i love it so far cause its similar to disgaea. im waiting to jump fully into it until i finish d1 and d4 though

OFF is an rpg also recommended to me by a friend, i downloaded it online but havent touched it yet 😭 pro at owning games i dont play

omori is also very self explanatory. i downloaded it off my friends steam account and he and i have been playing it together, im not far in but obviously i like it, i knew i would. aubrey is sooo mecore <3 i really need to keep playing it... i should have gotten into omori sooner. actually no i take that back because i think 14 year old me getting into omori would have been so world-ending that it would have shattered my psyche

spore is spore. idk how to describe it. you make a fucked up little creature and you make the fucked up little creature do shit thats the whole game

undertale is also very self explanatory. and boom thats all my games :3 well i also have animal jam classic which didnt fit in the screenshot but theres not much to say about that. other than the fact that i own a super rare nonmember mantis pet and im proud of it. and my den fucks

okay thats more than enough yapping im sorry .. stop asking me questions because i do not know how to shut up. ily though thank you for asking :3c

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

mackerel!!!!! good morninnnnnnnng :] sharing my coffee with u :3 anyway. free ticket for whatever worm thoughts ur having!!! 🎫🎫🎫 cell is a fucking rollercoaster so like, u know, whenever u have thoughts w any degree of organization lmao!! the fucking.... charlotte interlude where danny just sits and watches the rest of the undersiders (teenagers)(aisha throwing a bag of chips at grue's head)(grue killed burnscar a member of the slaughterhouse 9)(terrifying)(they're both in demon masks and grue is in black leather)(supervillains who he's been hearing taylor talk about like they're a certain doom for hours)(kids)(people she loves)(she was doing so much for infrastructure for the docks which was also danny's thing) hammer out their game plan means a lot 2 me.... anyway it's been a while since last bothering u abt worm ask!! so. holds microphone up to u. hehehe :3

dude u have literally the most perfect timing ever I JUST finished the lung interlude. lol. Definitely not thinking about it at all. the next arc is called Drone. awesome ! like the fuckign. other word for male bees which have no stinger and are not as useful to the hive as worker bees and cannot even feed themselves without assistance from workers. often used in media to describe a mindless . well. drone. part of a hivemind. awesome loving the implications of this. i need 2 take a fucking BREAK

ANYWAY. CELL. GOD. MAN. FUCK. DEFINITELY *NOT* THE DIRECTION I THOUGHT THAT ARC WAS GOING TO GO. youve pretty much said everything I could possibly say about the Charlotte interlude. I do in fact have a screenshot of the part where imp throws a bag of chips at grues head. and also when they first get there imp and regent immediately start rummaging around for snacks. and they take the bags of gummies that charlotte was planning to put in the kids school lunches the next day. and . fucking RACHEL walking in not with huge monster dogs but with a bunch of puppies on colorful leashes. willingly handing puppies to two basically strangers. willing to go into a room with a bunch of children who don't know how to behave correftly around dogs and letting them play with her puppies. I cant even fucking talk about Rachel and how she's changed since the beginning of the story without getting so overwhelmed with it all i love her so much. I love her SO much dude.

having conflicting emotions about weaver !!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love taylor so much you know this about me. i am very excited to see another side of the heroes and get more insight into the inner workings of both the ward system and also the prt in general (definitely not going to think about nhw) BUT ALSO . I LOVE THE UNDERSIDERS TOO MUCH. IM GONNA MISS THEM SO MUCH. AND!!!! and. I don't know how they feel about this decision yet. I mean they were pretty laid back during their visit but I also know how good they are (esp tattletale) at . not letting onto things . putting up a front to keep appearances. aaughhh.

I want to know what the fuck was in the drawer that dragon showed taylor that made her agree to all of this right away. was it the new mask????? that's my assumption rn. speaking of which as much as I want to squish defiant sometimes I VERY MUCH love his robot girlfriend. defiant can stay as long as I get to see his weird fucked up dynamic with dragon. but he's on thin ice.

I do also really like miss militia.......... she's frustrating as much as the others are sometimes but. I like her. she knows things are fucked and is willing to hear out the other side even if she doesn't always act on it. OH ALSO SPEAKING OF HEROES really excited that parian and fletchette are undersiders now :) I like them.

uhhhhh uh uh uh I made that big long post about self fulfilling prophecies regarding the whole apocalypse in two years thing ,, my thoughts on that have not changed and have in fact been REINFORCED by lungs interlude . he specifically was given a two year time limit. hmm i wonder FUCKING WHY. god. I need to talk to dinah i need a dinah interlude. I need to know what she thinks of all of this

[masterserris]

superior returns comic spoilers

so present otto is still being a dick ugh but seeing past superior otto was nice. makes me wonder how the rest of the series will be. will all of it be flash backs? i hope not urghgh i wonder what will make him be superior again. or if that will happen. graaaahhh!

dont do me like this marvel dont take my hope away and smash it

LET HIM REMEMBERRR

RAAAAGAGAHHH I LOVE AND HATE IT THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME I JUST WANT HIM. I JUST WANT HIM BACKKK FUCK PLEASEEE

i hoping, thinking, this gets covered in the main spiderman comic bc of the ending of this comic and the actual superior run will start off with otto being superior bc like it would make sense? like a comic without the main character is odd. though they call it "superior reckoning" which is like the ending of this comic? so everything might be self contained and be a small run with only flash backs??? god i hope not jskajkdajsd I JUST WANT HIM BACKKK

they havent done anything good with otto in 3 fucking years if they wanted to have a story with him they had their chance ffs

i hope and pray otto has a change of heart and solves the current conflict and like finally gets what he wants and then remembers that's all man godddddd. like saves estrella and actually harnesses the energy of the sun she had and gets his dream fulfilled. then remembers and is superior again or something like that I HATE IT HERE

bc just as easily, peter could save estrella and peter would harness fusion and otto would have nothing left anymore. just. desolate. he would be so fucking mad and then just so depressed i CANT TAKE IT. I CANT TAKE THE WISDOM I CARRY OF KNOWING OTTO ALWAYS JUST GETS FUCKED IN THE END.

just let him be superior and stay superior.... that's all i ask... society has progressed past the point of needing otto to be a villain anymore, even the movies agree.... ffs

ideal scenario: peter is fighting supernova and otto sees the destruction and only he can stop it. so he makes a device to capture her energy and it cures her. also he now completes his dream making a fusion reactor mirroring real life.

then with his dream complete he remembers shit somehow. remembers what he needs to do, and have a drive for the future now his main goal is complete. he is superior again and that is when the superior comic takes off. it would be weird to only have otto/flashbacks in the main superior comic, right? RIGHT? IDK.

but then we get adventures with superior otto and whereever that may take us but please dont fucking retcon him back into forgetting shit i hate that everyone hated that and ya'll didnt do anything with him for 3 fucking years after you did that. wasted everything

and hopefully superior otto is a main part of the spidey cast alongside miles and peter. yay! they were fuckign FRIENDS. let them be FRIENDS AGAIN.

im dying here. im like... being scorched alive like a goo on a side walk in summer. (ironically by the sun, the crux of all of this shit ksajdjkkj)

FUCK

[frecklystars]

im sorry I just need to let this out for a second

This is normal after an attempt but I’m so fucking numb all the time. And what’s worse is I don’t have anyone in my family who cares if something happens to me. My dad treats a suicide attempt like it is no big deal or it’s rly an inconvenience, like he had to make a 10 minute drive to the hospital when he would rather be banging some new girl he meets with every other day

I feel weird because I don’t want to tell my friends what I did bc like. How do you bring that up. “Hi Keri how are you” “oh I’m hanging in there I tried to kill myself July 21st and I would have died if my dad didn’t find me and now I’m dealing with the weight of failure and I’m severely depressed and I can’t bring myself to self ship bc im so numb all the time. How are you!”

I really wish somebody could hug me and tell me things are gonna be ok. I wanted to invite some friends over but I can’t bc my dad! is! constantly fucking somebody! and like. I am just so numb and sad all the time. I had to pull over while driving earlier bc I was crying so hard and I couldn’t calm down. I want to at least rely on my f/os. My whole life I’ve relied on f/os when real people could not care about me. I always felt so safe and loved with my f/os. That shit was robbed from me and I am just sitting here without any outlet other than planning how I can hurt myself again when my dad goes out of town. I hate living like this I’m so fucking sick of living like this. I really wish I died. I am so tired all the time. It’s so hard I wish I could put into words how crippling it is to live with not only physical disabilities but also ptsd and cptsd and being paranoid that I can’t trust any of my friends. I miss my f/os. I really fuckign miss having them to lean on. When I made my attempts on my life in 2022 I still had Starscream. I got thru this pain because I could think of him. Now I am trying os hard to think of Ken but I keep thinkgin he’d just be so scared of me. He’d be scared of the blood. I hthink he’d be really sick of dealing with my ptsd every day. I don’t even feel love for him right now I just feel so numb like nothign can possibly get better for me I’ve been fighting so damn hard for almost two years now and I’ve been fighting depression since I was 7 years old and I’ve been doing it completely by myself bci don’t have a family that would care if anytiitn happened to me

[daedalusdavinci]

spell homestuck

GOD. THIS IS SO MUCH LONGER THAN TWO FACE. i typed too much and theres too many qs so under the cut it goes

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)?

books!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or....... i guess comics, these days, but i HATE READING COMICS they juST HAVE MORE COMPELLING FANDOMS. book fandoms are PUNY nad everyone is STUPID. youd think actual literary fandoms would have reading comprehension and understanding of literary critique but no!!!!!!!!!!!!! its literally my eternal fuckign struggle. somehow comic fandoms hit the perfect medium between compelling, readable content and the enthusiasm of cartoon fans without the childishness of cartoon fans

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

this isnt really a thing i do. the only time i associate characters w songs is my own ocs. barbies theme is miltons tower from the what remains of edith finch soundtrack!

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

i have also never really been one to project myself into stories. its just not how i consume media. i think sollux and rose already closely resemble the kinds of friends i make, so maybe them?

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

(freddy fazbear vc) vanessa.... ive done things, im not proud of.

i dont even know if i want to answer this question bc its so fucking humiliating LKJSNDLFSDNFSDF the truth is yes. i am solely responsible for. a lot. particularly in the pjo fandom. i created several crackships ground up all on my own way back in 2014 and developed a following for them and i. dont wantto tell you what those ships were. LSKJDFNSLDJNSDFSDDF ive also pioneered many ship tags for other fandoms and i ship a lot of rarepairs and stuff but i dont think im RESPONSIBLE for them?? in that some ppl already were into them/talking abotu them or tht theyre still not popular (augh. to the ones that became popular) but i AM liTERALLY responsible for some crack shit in the pjo fandom and its. it haunts me sometimes. i dont want to talk about it. IF YOU REMEMBER WHAT I DID NO YOU DONT

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

this is so vague. my headcanons are shifting and nebulous and aus are my constant companion in everything, but uhhhhhhghhusjkdjnsdg i think. roxy writes the same way dave draws comics. its extremely memey and meta and self aware and largely just for the personal lolz, and were all doing her a disservice by pretending her writing looks like roses, when in reality dirk is probably the one whod make comics the way rose makes books (which is probably why he doesnt make comics). its more of that thing where roxy and dave are the same and rose and dirk are the same ykwim. well YOU dont corvus but im sure someone else does

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

jason takes after bruce in terms of like. adopting entirely too many kids. he broods

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

harvey is a heartwrenching character when written well, with a complicated view of morality, heartbreaking ties to our main hero, and a lot of internal conflict. something about such a hopeful character deadset on making a different in the system becoming a victim of it, and the potential he has as a vehicle for critiquing the law.

percy is my favorite character from pjo bc it was the very first time in my life i ever read a book and saw myself in it. hes aggressive, impulsive, and rebellious, he fidgets and has a hard time standing still, he acts on emotion without always thinking it through, he gets in trouble in school and hands his mom a murder weapon to kill his stepdad, hes just... hes a lot of the things ive always gotten in trouble for, things i couldnt help being, and hes a hero. he means everything to me.

vriska, i will maintain until the day i die, is one of the best homestuck characters- maybe just characters?- ever written. shes dramatic, shes impulsive, shes manipulative and mean and creative, and shes just so messy about it. shes a mean girl in a way that feels real, where her trauma impacts and shapes her as a person, and shes complex, with warring wants, and people she cares about, and dreams, and shes so messy. shes rough and rude and shes doing what SHE wants to, being a version of herself that feels right to HER, rather than some caricature of the hot badass evil lady. shes thirteen!! and she FEELS thirteen. shes a thirteen year old weird girl who is kind of an asshole, and she means literally fucking everything to me. shes a pirate!!!!! shes a swashbuckling badass dressing up in her larping outfit and yelling at her friends on the playground to swab the deck and she is the bestest ever, the end.

i didnt mean for each one of these to be longer than the last but here we are.

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.

i hate jdedave peace and love it just feels weird as hell to me. dave, for the most part, is hyper respectful of other peoples choices and boundaries but when it comes to jade hes always trying to mke choices for her, to protect her, and it gets to the point where even jade points out how much it bugs her. jades crush on dave also seems to come from a place of misunderstanding to me, admiring a lot of the parts of himself that he exaggerates and pretends to care about as a result of trauma. it always felt like a kid crush that they shouldve grown out of with time. dave also just sort of seems to... go along with whatever romantic relationships people push him into at that age, rolling with whoever flirts with him jsut bc hes trying to maintain the image of a player, so its really hard to take him seriously any time he hits on someone?

that is just my interpretation of it tho

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

well. i havent finished my reread of homestuck, so that feels difficult to comment on just yet, bc im sure ill have a different opinion when i do finish it. no one in dc gets character arc bc theyre all just undone immediately, so thats like. yeah. and in pjo the arcs are pretty weak bc 1) kids books and 2) RICK UNDOES THEM ALL. AUGH. regardless of all of this, i am going to say jason grace. he had a lot of development in like the last two hoo books, or maybe just like.... hints of how he couldve developed? promise? which rick immediately set fire to in toa when he killed him, but fUCKING WHATEVER. UGH.

anyway actually tho eleanor from the good place. bisexual icon. queen. probably one of the best character arcs of all time. the episode w her mom has some of the most powerful fucking dialogue ever and i think about it. all the time. i should rewatch the good place.....

[storiesofsvu]

haapy thursday...

law and order AND criminal mind spoilers under the cut! (criminal mind at the very end and very easy to skip over)

Thank god for these recaps because I forget ninety percent of what happens on OC because I just do not care lololoolol.

Where do I know this motherfucker from? (duran) (ouat… that’s where)

Uuggggghhh we’re gonna have to deal with MORE UC Elliot?! Fuck this

LOOL she’s a CI, fucking new there was something off about her. Like yeah, she’s still a criminal but cooperating lol.

I feel like this approach to getting in is literally the worst. Why would this fuck ever trust anyone who just randomly walks up to him in a bar with a duffle of money?! Like that’s CLEARLY a fucking cop. I know there’s the pretense of “killing kevin” shit but still… I would not believe

Uggh Elliot shut the fuck up, stop taking this out on Jamie….

I don’t trust this other boss dude, not one bit… I feel like literally everyone on this show is out to get Ayanna and fuck up her life like… can she just be left in peace for ONCE pls.

And immediately after I say that Elliot goes behind her back and groups up the squad into a secret operation without her permission or even opinion on it. Like, he really doesn’t understand that she OUTRANKS him right?! Like could you IMAGINE if Velasco or muncy pulled that crap on olivia?! They’d be out of a job. Like… even with Duarte, who is *not* part of her squad, but a level below as a lieutenant, she got all attitudey “the next word out of your mouth better be followed by a ‘captain’.” Like…cmon… I get that this is meloni’s show, but like, have some fucking respect for your boss??

Whyd they make sure a big deal out of this girl and the police reveal on elliots behalf if SHE’S ALREADY A CI?? SHES ALREADY WORKING WITH THE COPS!??

LOOOOLLL the look on bell’s face when Jamie took her coffee. PLEASE. M’am’s about to smack a bitch

Kay. So… you’re telling me you’re looking for duran… and you HAVENT checked with the daughter’s house?? (or is this all a rouse?)

Is she *not* a CI? I’m so fucking confused.

Jfc the disgust face I made when she kissed him, fuck this

Yeah man, im with Jamie on this….

Okay, update from last week now that imdb is updated… elliot’s therapist IS the same actor as fin’s rope/tide guy. Fucking KNEW IT.

Mothership time..

Oooo! LOVING the blue on kate!!

Callback to the SHOES! YES! Something that Chicago pd taught me was to look for the shoes cause they can’t dump them or change them like they can a coat/hoodie. I knew he had red ones!

He’s an upper east side prep school kid and the judge REALLY went for a mere $2mill?? Jfc

Is sam going to actually get to do this one on her own for once?? Pls…

Aawweeee sam my beeebeeeee…. Let me HUG YOU PLS. im thankful for more insight into her background now

Jfc… nolan’s “excuse me?” when sam brings up the rich white kid comment? Go fuck yourself. BLESS mccoy for stepping in and defending her and agreeing, give her some damn respect fuck.

Vic had THIS many *severe* injuries and the perp only has a broken wrist/hand whatever, and we’re seriously claiming self defence? That’s going WAY overboard bestie

Okay I called being under the influence as a defence plea at the beginning… but god what a fucking dick move just because you know you’ve lost the self defence plea. Ugh.

 Okay…they bought dabs at like, 11pm? And the murder happened at like what 6am? Like obvi he could’ve been smoking all night as he wandered around and threw rocks but still.. this is fuckign bull

They’re saying he LEGALLY ingested it, yet he’s 18 & the legal age is 21, so there’s THAT and then there’s the fact that his FRIEND was the one who bought it with his weed card, NOT him.

NOLAN WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK YOU PIECE OF SHIT. YOU JUST WANT TO THROW SAM UNDER THE BUS CAUSE YOU DON’T WANT TO TAKE THE FALL FUCK YOU.

I was LITERALLY about to say “why is every week of this show the old white lawyer and cop being fucking stupid and the poc characters having to be all ‘smarten up bruh’,” and THEN THAT HAPPENED. Fuck.

At least mccoy has her back.

Okay back to raging about Nolan… like.. this just makes it look like a personal vendetta. Change it out to the female poc lawyer leading the case, the one who you know is already having an emotional week and taking the case a little bit too hard. So if she gets emotional in the courtroom or whatever it’s because “she’s a woman” if she crosses a line its because she’s biased to the poc vic. Like FUCK this. Sam gets treated like shit and tossed into the ditch every goddamn week of this show I s2g, she deserves better.

Still mad at Nolan but overall that ep was WAY more entertaining and interesting than any other one ive seen. Doesn’t hurt that it was a very sam focussed one…

Time for SVU

Velasco coming in clutch with the cozy coat collection yet again

Bx9 has literally been around for YEARS, like we’ve seen them in so many previous seasons, and liv has been in svu the entire time, she’s worked bx9 cases before, how tf would she have not known/realized this shit earlier?

Fin getting stuck doing literal managerial work and absolutely hating it is peak comedy

Muncy going after Duarte… mood

We’re…really letting muncy out there on her own… this seems like bad news…

God this is fucking heartbreaking…

Still not sure if I trust or like Duarte…

I get this guys in the hospital but why is he not cuffed to the bed.. like..bruh is gonna RUN otherwise.

All of this “let them get settled” “tell her to come in tomorrow” “give them some peace” GURL PLS WE ALL KNOW THAT THEY’LL BE DEAD BY THEN…

THAT’S Oscar papa…. He’s a fucking twink…

Literally anyone could’ve seen that shanking coming… cmon… that’s been the theme tonight. Way too obvious foreshadowing..

Okay… so after all of that… it wasn’t actually Oscar papa?

Oh, okay, so they let this perp get dressed?? Lolololol

Im sorry… on what grounds do they have to arrest him? This is just based off what the other guy said? See… if we were going to do a three ep arc of this shit, and there’s still one left, could we not have wrapped up with some personal shit, the team out for drinks? Sonny going home to the girls?? Olivia maybe popping in to see how noah’s doing?? And then leave the arresting Oscar to the beginning of next week?

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to briefly touch on criminal minds as well because i yelled out loud and scared my roomate lololol.

last week was SO fucking good, like they fed us so well and then this week wtf was that!? the bomb going off, we knew from the promo jj would be relatively ok, but not luke. i KNOW their team is small so having one of them in the hospital would throw things off but like, at least one of them could be a little bloodied up, a little consequences once in a while would be nice and not just a jump scare (i cant think of the proper saying but you get my drift)

i never really shipped garcia & luke, so i'm not super mad about the tyler thing. do think its weird for garcia to be so hot and cold, like she refused to be in the same room as him and now she's (secretly) helping him out and giving him a place to stay and all that? i get that now he's out free cause he wasn't an unsub, and there's that sympathy over the dead sister and her being able to relate to it over her parents but it still seems super off. (and yes, i do think that it was incredibly dumb and irresponsible of the entire fbi team to be all "yeah, your sister's dead, sorry, BAI!" like, they shouldve asked if he had somewhere to go, a friend to talk to, anything...)

what I AM *very* mad about is rebecca & tara. we're introduced in the first ep to rebecca, and finally have some queer representation on the show (and played by a queer actor too!--presumably?? i dont know if its ever been legitimately confirmed?) for us to BARELY see them together, NEVER see them at home together (no matter how briefly they lived together). just to break them up?? like, don't get me wrong, i can see why what happened would cause a fight in their relationship, but even tara could go in and explain that at the time of the original case, she wouldve believed it too, that they had more evidence now and rebecca isn't at fault or some shit like that... why do we always have to kill our gays!? it's getting fucking old and im not here for it.

rest of the ep was meh? did love they got the jet back though. hoping next week is better.

[thatonegaybastard]

art(uro) for aks game? if aksed already..............................then ashe???

art(uro)

Sexuality headcanon: Im 90% sure hes canonically panromanric asexual so panromantic asexual

Gender headcanon: enby man vibes

Ship: *bangs table* ART X LYLE ART X LYLE ART X LYLE

BROTP: I think that he could be good friends with pandora in a non killing game setting

NOTP: Dont really have one for him

Random headcanon: He has adhd. this is not self prohection at all /sarc

General opinon: I LOVE HIM SO MUCHBHES MY FVAORITE IM SOBB IN GG TH N

ahse

Sexuality headcanon: men.

Gender headcanon: agender!!!!!!! gender I hardly know her. masc terms are still good though

Ship: NOELASHE!!!!!!!! AND WILASHE!!!!!!!!!

BROTP: with claire!!!!! they are siblings your honor (not actually siblings but like sibling dynamic)

NOTP: claire x ashe romantically makes me so unconftorable and I dobt have a good reason why .it doesnt sit right with me at all im sorry clair ex ashe shippers

Random headcanon: he got the bow they wear in their braid from lillia!! I firgot her name

Genreral opinion: fuckign bastard (affectionate)

[themichaelvan]

I posted 5,387 times in 2022

That's 5,387 more posts than 2021!

268 posts created (5%)

5,119 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@schmope-is-dead

@nachosforfree

@miiilowo

@fazbear-ent-official

@cherry-flavored-content

I tagged 3,060 of my posts in 2022

Only 43% of my posts had no tags

#favorite - 188 posts

#👀 - 149 posts

#goose tag - 88 posts

#inspo - 77 posts

#important - 50 posts

#server tag - 42 posts

#me - 37 posts

#prev - 26 posts

#blazed post tag - 25 posts

#prev tags - 23 posts

Longest Tag: 124 characters

#🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

why nearly every character in all of the fnaf musicals are insane in distinctly different but still very much insane ways: an essay

(this is like 80% from memory and its. checks time 2:15am as of writing this so excuse inaccuracies.)

mark: oh my god starting off with a bang, are we? okay okay. he was there for ONE NIGHT. one. one night. he spent like basically all of it crying in the corner because of puppets. theyre puppets. freddy is literally punted across the room on multiple occasions YOU ARE A FULL GROWN ADULT MARK. "in all my dreams i see / a maze of halls with bloody walls / and countless scrawls reminding me "it's me!"" YOU WERE THERE FOR ONE NIGHT. he IMMEDIATELY decides that the solution to this is not 1) taking it up with his manager 2) just fucking quitting bUT INSTEAD THAT ITS 3) BRING A DUFFEL BAG FULL OF WEAPONS, INCLUDING SEVERAL KNIVES AND GUNS TO HIS WORKPLACE INTENDING TO KILL THE ANIMATRONICS YOU WERE HIRED TO PROTECT. AND THEN THE ONLY THING HE DID TO CHANGE HIS IDENTITY AFTER NEARLY KILLING A MAN AND GETTING CAUGHT WAS TO DYE HIS HAIR. he didnt even change his ADDRESS. dipshit. he acts all tough and crap afterward too like he spent 40 years in prison. he was reduced to literal actual tears by puppets. god i love him so much.

nate: sassed the man holding a knife to one of the animatroniocs he, AGAIN, was HIRED to PROTECT. drove the animatronics to a man they KNOW is willing to use guns to protect himself in the FIRST PLACE. also he just ??? fuckign Had bb on hand like. did they give him bb when he quit the first time?? like. okay. say you have to distract an easily distracted but immensely murderous animatronic and your first thought is "hmm what if i use that rc car that looks like a child from my old workplace". bitch if its been 7 years since i worked there and witnessed a traumatizing event im gonna bury that fucker at the bottom of my closet not just have it with me. also his first concern when he was faced with a very much "i am going to die" situation is that he hasnt caught up on a tv show yet???? nate buddy please i appreciate you but get some self-worth and some therapy while youre at it

aj: he was nearly killed by an animatronic as big as he was, stopped only by like a foot or smth, and then IMMEDIATELY accepted the transfer to ANOTHER place with animatronics in it like. why would you actively choose to keep working with fazbear entertainment. im sure literally any other company ever would look at aj "nearly killed two men because he wanted to work more hours" purple guy and hire him in a millisecond. SPEAKING OF WHICH, HE NEARLY KILLED TWO MEN BECAUSE HE WANTED TO WORK MORE HOURS. DO YOU NEED THE MONEY THAT BADLY OR DO YOU JUST REALLY FUCKING. WANT TO WORK AT FAZBEARS THAT MUCH. i honeslty cant decide which is worse. he also mocked the guy with a chainsaw who burst through the wall not ten minutes before??? who was also like 2 feet away from him???? what were you EXPECTING him to do??????????????????? give you more hours????????????????????????

phone guy: yeah.

mike: looked at the absolute flaming dumpster fire that was the lawsuits, filthy animatronics, extremely low budget, and EXTREMELY sketchy boss that was the new fazbears and said "yeah i can work with this." also i think he got killed by pan stan which is such a sad way to go my god. i dont have quite as much to say about him but i DO love him very much and he REALLY SHOULD HAVE gotten a better job.

lizzy: other than the fact she hasnt quit fazent yet (which is excusable considering it looks like shes looking into the sketchy stuff and is probably mostly there for mikes death), actually not that bad. props to her tbh if i had to deal with a boss like phone guy id go considerably more feral.

those police officers who showed up for like 2 scenes in the og fnaf musical: just fucking, like. let an actual murder perp ESCAPE because they Forgot To Lock The Car And Went To Go Get Food and then just. DIDNT REPORT IT. because this, apparently, is NOT the first time theyve let someone escape, and because theyd LOSE THEIR JOBS IF THEY REPORTED IT. if the police is THAT bad in this town no fucking wonder phone guy's gotten away with everything so far.

41 notes - Posted August 7, 2022

#4

drops dead on the floor

43 notes - Posted October 7, 2022

#3

buddy.... are you..... sweeping..... the evil rune circle............

45 notes - Posted October 20, 2022

#2

SIGHS. okay whatever. 10k notes and i finish reading homestuck

81 notes - Posted October 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

i hope the admiral knows i love him

(original image under cut, id in alt)

2,341 notes - Posted September 12, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[jessethetoastyoven]

i hate when mfs be like: "So uh my house just burnt down to a cripst and im actully gonna kill my fuckign self and really need comfort... heh not a vent!" LIKE THATS SO OBVIOUSLY A VENT HELLO? LIKE MAYBE TRY ASKING ME IF YOU COULD VENT INSTEAD OF TRYING TO FORCE YOUR VENT ON ME WHAT

[ch333rryboy]

.

not going to lie it does feel really pathetic and horrible to have to beg for attention (that i dont even frankly need i geuss theres just something wrong with me that tells me to ask every night) and to be told no for reasons that i would never say no for (which is fine and boundaries are fine andt eheres nothing wrong with that theres just something wrong with me that tells me im worthless and unloveable if i dont have proof that people want to spend time with me and it sometimes does feel really terrible to need more attention and proof than anyone else needs) and sometimes i get really awful thoughts of Oh ill show them what it feels like by not seekign attention or speaking to anyone for a while but 1) i never make it past a day 2) thats. manipulative. and 3) it makes me so desperate for any attention at all any time i am sought out i immediately say yes. yes. yes please pay attention to me please spend time with me yes im so lonely please

tdlr i hate myself i hate my brain i hate the way it functions i wish i was less reliant on emotional? approval? i wish i needed less proof i was loved because rational thought dosent work with my brain when i get upset and fuck i wish people needed things the same way i did so that maybe someone would ask me. maybe someone would beg me the way i am always. always. always begging. but nobody ever calls me. nobody ever asks ME to spend time with them. nobody ever says im lonely and feel horrible can you comfort me. nobody needs me like that nobody needs me the way i need them and like thats fine and healthy and normal im the one thats fucked im the one whos built wrong im the one who needs fixing its not like anyone else is doing anything worng its meeeee and the worst part is the disclaimers. the fucking disclaimers. oh im not upset can you please spend time with me. i know iw as clingy today and i still am so its totally fine if you dont want to but please spend time with me. i have no sense of self worth i need proof you love me please spend time with me but its ok if you dont want to. im horribly lonely but ill probably pass out soon anyway please spend time with me. i know im a horrific burden and im sorry i ask every single fucking night please spend time with me. but its ok if you dont want to. its fine not to. you dont have to. it hurts so much to type because no matter what its going to hurt bc i know the answer is no no no no no maybe one yes every now and then but mostly no and thats fine !thats fine! its fgine! im the broken one! but it still hurts. and i say im not upset and every time it does just kill me so i suppose i should just fucking stop asking but i cant because what if i get a yes. fuck.

i ts fine to have limits its fine other people have boundaries i cant get mad at anyone but myself but where am i supposed to talk about how upsetting it is. because i cant just. whatever. i dont know. i hate that its every night. im in a cycle. i have a few good nights where i dont think about it and then all of the sudden its too much and its going to be too much for the next fucking week maybe two maybe three and im going to want to kill myself again and who can i talk about it with. nobody. fuckign nobody. i post about it on my stupid horny blog that none of them are going to see thats barely a horny blog anymore bc all i do is bitch about how much i hate myself and want to die

[rainbowgod666]

Alright. Its late at night and i just HAVE to get this off my ASS

I have it up to HERE that i cant be upsat about ANY ONE FUCKIGN THING without it being invalidated

Like oh you think you have it hard? What about the immigrants at Lampedusa? What about those many kids in africa that cant eat? What about your future? What about every single minority in America that cant take a STEP without risking getting killed by an old white idiot that is one german dictionary from going full fash and what about the many bad things done by japan if you like anime so much what about the UHYGURS IN FUCKING CHINA HEY HOW ABOUT GETTING 3 ASKS A DAY ABOUT GAZA EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE AS POWERLESS AS A PEBBLE TOWARDS THOSE ISSUES AND HEY LETS MAKE IT ONE OF 5 GENOCIDES ALSO THE COUNTRY ONE OF YOUR MOTHERS FRIENDS DOESNT EXIST ANYMORE AND HEY DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOUR MAMA'S SIDE GRANDPA DIED AND THAT HAPPENED WITH TRUMPS ELECTION AND THE ENSHITTIFICATION OD EVERYTHING YEAH HOW ABOUT AN ENTIRE FUCKING GLOBAL PANDEMIC RIGHT AS YOU WANTED TO TURN A NEW LEAF IN LIFE BECAUSE

FUCK YOU YOU DONT DESERVE TO BE HAPPY YOU SELF-CENTERED EUROPEAN SHITHEAD

This. Every single fucking day. Sometimes it doesnt happen but it all just teaches me to be wary. I am not "prevented" as my family (rightly actually) says. I am afraid. That if i step a single foot out of a line i dont know exists and cant even see everything i love will be torn away from me and if i as much as EXPRESS anything that isnt compliance i get ridiculed by shadows of reality *itself*. Because its just my luck that while everyone's boogeyman is the governmant (or some minority or other in the stupidests of cases) i am stuck with the universe. Because if i as much as TRY to make me a safe space im called lazy and that i need tog et off that damn game. And i understand it, but i ask why. Why the fuck am i not even ALLOWED to do anything else even REMOTELY pleasurable or interesting. Why does everything require me strife. If im water. Than my enemy isnt a rock. Im in a still jar made of the toughest and smoothest possible glass and there is no movement to get out of it. Fuck this shit.

[blookmallow]

ok here we go heres all my fuckign endgame stuff for ruby's main plotline. ive been hoarding screenshots forever i dont even know how long ago this was now

bro holy fuck

i M LOSING MY MIND!!! LOOK AT THIS

i am so fuckening confused

ruby and. her son, i guess,

im putting this post together way way way after the fact so i don't fully remember how i felt when i discovered this but like. i don't. know what to do with this. it isn't that much of a shock that he's become Old since. up until this point its extremely unclear how much time actually passed between freezings (except that it was 200 years from the initial freeze to the escape). so the thought that maybe he was alive somewhere but really old had occurred to me. but how do you even begin to try to have a relationship now. are we even family anymore, really.

skeletons!! i like them

im not sure what the hell Happened with super mutants. i guess they were intended to be. well, super human, but why did the institute just. release them everywhere. i forget if there was stated information about this but like when you encounter hostile synths they're Doing Something for the institute, super mutants are just. being super mutants and killing everything

found a weird floating spark that was just kinda stuck here. no idea why

anyway so. i tried really hard to play this civilly. the institute has done great evil but there's also just. families in here. there's scientists genuinely trying to make worthwhile advances. the big problem with the institute is the lack of regard for anyone else's rights, they have incredible incredible resources and are choosing to use them only for their own purposes. "Father" was intending to hand control over to me. with the right leadership, they could be using these resources to help people. just outright destroying it all and killing everyone inside regardless of anything would be such a loss. they have such potential for positive change in the commonwealth, in the world.

but despite the fact that you are being given control of the institute, despite the fact that the player character depending on your choices can be such a massively influential leader, you just don't get to make that choice. you aren't allowed to create change or negotiate peace. i tried working with them very cautiously up until i hit a wall where i was forced to decide between "destroy the railroad" and "destroy the institute" and i absolutely could not betray the railroad for these people

but before that, i suddenly got raided by the brotherhood out of fucking nowhere, which i understand now that ive started kind of acting as a double agent in the brotherhood on another file and learned they're pretty violently against synths and anyone who wants to help them

but if you don't do any of their quests there's really no buildup to this. i helped danse out that one time and we just never really talked again because i didn't want to join and then suddenly they're marching into my fucking HQ

how fucking dare they. honestly. i am still not over this. i will never be over this

i was really fucking mad about them tearing up HQ and about glory so i stormed into the "take out the prydwen" questline. at first

this was deacon's brilliant disguise for infiltrating the brotherhood. some fucking how this worked. how does he do it

but during the course of the infiltration i did some poking around to see what was in here first. and again i found lots of people believing they're doing the right thing. people who have been brainwashed and manipulated. people who are arrogant and self-righteous, sure, but do they deserve to die for it? there were children in here. i found a note from a child writing home to his parents out there somewhere. that kid is dead now because of me

everyone on that ship is dead. the game plays this as a triumphant victory. i wanted this at first because i was acting on Revenge but watching it all burn down just made me feel sick.

i never found danse again. he's no longer at the police station and i couldn't find him on the ship or in the wreckage. i never did anything with him beyond the first intro quest thing before you get the option to join the brotherhood (and honestly thus far on my other file he barely has a personality. i havent reached full affinity yet though) but the fact that we hung out together that one time and got on pretty well is still in the back of my mind and i really wish i could get the closure of like. finding out if he's dead or not. but since i never recruited him as a companion i can't track him and i don't think i can access like, console commands or w/e on steamdeck so i guess ill just never know

so. then the institute

i dont know why i dont have a screenshot from before things went to shit but anyway i was so fucking excited to see gorillas in here and they all ended up dead during the revolt. i guess i dont know what animals still exist out there in the world but i feel personally responsible for the extinction of the last remaining gorillas as of right now and let me tell you. it doesn't feel good

i didnt want this!! i didnt want any of this!

i dont feel responsible for shaun's death specifically since. he was dying anyway. but it doesn't help to know that technically i probably killed him first.

so. that's two mass murders/at least borderline genocides im now personally responsible for. this, also, was portrayed in game as a victory and a triumph. i just felt empty. we stopped two dangerous forces, but we killed so fucking many people to do it. i want to say the point is war never changes, but it felt like i was supposed to feel like "hooray we won we defeated the evil" rather than feeling like im just continuing the cycle of murder and destruction that brought the world to this state in the first place which seems incredibly against the point. i still feel just as strongly as i ever did that mass murder is not and is never the answer. this feels wrong. this doesn't feel like a win, to me.

sighs. yeah man. we still gotta worry about aliens

i brought synth shaun out with me. he seems to believe he's the original shaun? i don't know what to do with that. i have no difficulty accepting him as my kid, but he's fundamentally not the original shaun. that baby is gone. that baby grew up without me and became a man who is now dead. this is my second child and i feel like it would be better to acknowledge that than to treat him as if he were the child i lost. technically original shaun made him with his own dna and his memories so he's kind of my grandson.

i also don't know what his life is going to be like, it sounds like he was created as specifically a "child synth" - not a baby, and all other synths start as adults, so it seems like they don't age. nick is a prototype so we don't know how he compares to the current generation but he's been around for ages

so presumably synth shaun is going to just be a child forever. he'll have codsworth, curie, nick, and hancock to look after him, though. i think he'll be alright.

mildly concerning meta implications here but sure

i brought him to the castle, it's my most well-established and well defended settlement and it's where preston and curie live when they're not with me, so it felt like a good place for him. i don't usually leave codsworth at the castle but i brought him to see shaun anyway

i built him his own room and everything