#IM IN PAIN HERE
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The blaze burning Mumbo and Skizz’s chairs when it attacked? Devastating foreshadowing…
#life series#traffic smp#life series smp#trafficblr#grian#skizzleman#mumbo#mumbo jumbo#the spanners#sub 1 club#wild life#wild life smp#IM IN PAIN HERE#HELP MEEEEE
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Finally now that the comic is fully public on comicfury, I get to share it with all of you here, too <3
If you enjoyed, please consider supporting by buying a PDF of the comic on itch.io: https://tawnysoup.itch.io/home-in-the-woods
#I'd rather not clutter the caption so I'll ramble a little in the tags#HitW is short but special to me as it represents and encapsulates some hard life experiences I was going through at the time of its creatio#Ofc in a more metaphorical manner! but. I have been very much enjoying reading people's comments and speculation as its been posting#the interpretations are so meaningful and varied and i love that and really want to encourage anyone to reflect on what it means to them#for me making this comic was a way to process and move past trauma. i feel like it ends anti-climactically but i wanted to be true to#where i thought things were actually going in my life moreso than to veer towards impact. ultimately im glad i managed to finish it#and for it to finish going public right before the new year? maybe i can see this as shedding that old pain in time to become something new#so thank you for reading for supporting and for still being here. lets wake up to 2025 with wind in our sails#Home in the Woods#my art#my comics#original comic#cw guns#cw blood#cw body horror
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I don't want to regret the way I lived
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#gojo satoru#nobara kugisaki#nanami kento#choso kamo#junpei yoshino#jjk leaks#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#this idea started as a 2 part series . then my braincells decided to spark and supplied 7 PAGES#'did you sleep hina' no#ws looking up mentally stable things like 'who has died in jjk' smh i love my hyperfixation media im sooooo glad so many ppl r DEAD#i *could* have included more ppl but i think this is a good crew. this is a yuuji emotional support crew#also Was gna include his grandpa final panel but i Did Not Want To#he is implied through th dialogue#side note i donot like how i cn see this scenario playing out . ..yuuji this isnt ur stop u r monopoly voice Just Visiting ok >:(#anyway I broke my own heart with this and ik i hyped it up a lot but i hope that its not just me...#hope i did not hype it up fr nothing and no one else finds it devastating :((((( that would b humbling in the worst way#pls ...join the happy party train.......i hate it here i suffered pls :<<<<#also !!!! colours in this !! i cooked i fear . adding th first bit of warm hitting yuuji's face after th first 2 panels....#ive never had that kind of experience while drawing before it was wild . painful ! but wild.#the whole transition from p 2->3 might b the most emotionally moving piece ive ever made to me#not 2 sing my own praises tho i will shut up ! i wil. nap
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you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.
but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.
well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?
his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.
still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.
so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.
and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.
what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.
it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?
it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.
maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.
#spilled ink#warm up#oh im .... sick to my stomach.#i talked to him. like ....... we talked. that man interacted with my poetry and writing.#that article.... gutwrenching. i am so sorry to everyone he's ever even been in the room with.#i feel.... like... unbearably. sick.#he acted like he was cool and friends with me!! we were cool internet writers together!!!!!#i feel sick for even having been polite to him.#i ...... am experiencing something so fucking complicated.#i wonder how many of u are feeling that too. like ''oh i sent him an ask and he was funny and sweet''#THATS HOW THEY GET U. ..... and YES I KNOW!!!#i am so fucking well-read about parasocial relationships. it would just be nice to like. trust that someone ISNT#hiding a huge fucking background of BEING A COMPLETE MONSTER. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is “what the fuck i accidentally supported a rapist” not#“but my showww”. like i care far more about like. the human cost.#but also like... people are people. idk i saw a take on here about how nobody should mourn the books#and idk. people almost always reply to any scenario with their personal experience first -#''i knew him'' or ''wow i was just at that store'' or ''i grew up there'' or whatever. because that is how we establish connection &#emotional weight. that's just... a person thing. and there is a difference between 'oh this guy is a monster'' & the feeling of:#he's been a monster and i SUPPORTED THAT. i CELEBRATED him. i !!! a fucking victim myself!!!!!!!!! SUPPORTED . HIM.#i am sick. i feel so much pain for her and everyone he's ever hurt. saying ''the books are ruined'' is i think ... like how people say#they're shocked and disgusted by him. (obviously there's nuance here. im sure there's some creep doin it wrong. but u know. in general)#idk..... im an author. i understand my work is in your life in whatever small way. i understand that connection. it's real.
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Kandi flowey asriel bag...
#Smile......#undertale#flowey#asriel#chara#kandi#just posting the tiktok cause its a pain to get photos qwq ...#song here is im too shy by the scary jokes ^_^
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some thoughts wrt the two established "romances" in severance so far (burt/irving and helly/mark) inspired by @figmentof who pointed out how irving had to find out mark and helly kissed from the corporate video in s2 e1 and how he must have felt seeing his co-workers' love affair like portrayed like that, and how it ties into the queer narrative at play here which uses workplace dynamics and policies as very clear analogues for real-life prejudice against queer couples. I mean, just look at this:
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it's not just documented, but celebrated. used as propaganda for how the conditions on the severance floor have improved. proof that the severed workers are happy. and how even though he is unaware of the sociopolitical meaning of all this, lumon is very not-subtly telling him that what he had with burt is inherently lower and less valuable than this.
irving doesn't even know homophobia exists and yet he is still affected by it, it still seeps into every corner of the way his and burt's romance progresses. burt is positioned as an unacceptable love interest from the jump. irv is actively discouraged at every turn from pursuing it. their friendship is viewed with disgust and apprehension from their coworkers. burt working in a different department that's hated by MDR. dylan himself not being homophobic in the sense he opposes their relationship because they're both men but his attempts to keep them apart still has a parallel sort of prejudice behind it and still ultimately has the same effect as if it WERE driven by homophobia. irving is made to feel perverse for wanting contact with burt. he's told this is for his own good.
and then, just as they manage to overcome that immediate resistance from their peers and escape to a place where they can explore this blossoming romance on their own terms, burt retires. for all it matters to irv, he's dead. and then irving is given the option to live the rest of his life with grief that will never heal, or kill himself too, because there is no reality where they get to be together. that's just the way things are. of course they wouldn't get to be together. he was unreasonable and childish for ever hoping that could happen. this is just the way it goes for innies. he's told to get ahold of himself and not make a scene.
but the thing is, the standards are not the same for all. a heterosexual romance gets upheld as the shining example of success and fulfilment for the severed employees, whilst a homosexual romance is ridiculed and invalidated, and written off as something that was simply never meant to be. and even more importantly to irving, a heterosexual romance is APPROVED OF by lumon, and by extension, by kier. irv held back from allowing himself to even call his and burt's relationship a romance, because his god had told him it was wrong, he followed the handbook, thinking this was what kier wanted, and then finding out after suffering the worst heartbreak imaginable because of it, that this WASN'T EVEN TRUE. it's simply just that someone like HIM doesn't get to have something like this. his love is not the kind of love god wants. he does not approve of irv's love. cynical and manipulative though that approval may be (even within the context of the corporate video, the helly/mark romance is only being celebrated to further the narrative that lumon care for their workers, but the point still remains that it was THEIR romance specifically used to suit this end), when your entire life has been in pursuit of that approval, it must be devastating to learn it was never on the cards for you.
he and burt even used the fact kier met and fell in love with his wife in the same circumstances as them to justify this to each other - and they were RIGHT, god does approve of falling in love with your coworkers - this simply just doesn't apply to them specifically. and if irving needed any more proof that he no longer has a place at lumon, that he's better off not existing at all than existing with this pain that cannot be remedied, pain that won't even be acknowledged for what it is, a symptom of a sickness which plagues the entire severance system, pain that he is simply expected to choke down and get over - this is that proof.
and that's the POINT. they're TELLING us that this is unjust, and there's a double standard. they're using the ways the innies experience romance and the difference in lumon's reaction (lumon being the collective of all the management we've seen, lumon as a singular entity) to burt/irving vs helly/mark to comment on how queer people are not afforded the same level of respect or validation IN REAL LIFE, for their attachments, their love, their pain, their suffering. it is NOT just incidental that irving's romance is with a man. it would not WORK if his love interest was a woman. the POINT is that they are both men and how that puts them at a disadvantage, even if they aren't aware of the prejudices of the outside world, even if they don't TECHNICALLY apply on the severance floor, there are very clear analogues which still end up oppressing them in equivalent ways that they would be suffering if this were a normal workplace in the outside world.
it genuinely sickens me to my stomach that even in a world so divorced from reality and the sensibilities of regular society, a queer couple is still made to suffer and feel inferior in a way that perfectly mirrors their real-life counterparts. how they will never, EVER be allowed to exist in a world where their love could thrive freely and uninhibited - they never get to taste the joy our world has to offer people like them, but they are still somehow subjected to all the pain it has to offer them regardless. it's such horrifically devastating writing. it makes my skin crawl. I can't stop thinking about it
#TO BE CLEAR i am not trying to claim that lumon do genuinely want helly and mark to be a couple#they very begrudgingly co-opted this display of affection and camaraderie to suit their own ends#like i say. the approval is cynical. its purely utilitarian.#however the fact it CAN be used to further their narrative that severance is a good thing#whilst severance itself has brought nothing but pain to irv and his romantic endeavours#is very telling. its very fucking telling#especially from irvs perspective specifically here. this is how HE'D see it#as someone who puts so much stock in what kier would think of him. someone who based his entire identity#on following his doctrine to the letter. how he would see the one real true thing hes ever experienced written off like this#whilst another couple is inexplicably celebrated. i mean just look at his dead eyed stare in that sc.#this broke him. this was his final straw#anyways im not nearly intelligent or well read enough to do a thorough analysis on exactly how#religion plays into irvs mindset and his character arc#these are just thoughts on the hypocrisy shown by lumon on the romance thing specifically#clocking into writing meta for this show like its a 9-5. its so serious.#severance#severance spoilers#severance season 2#meta tag#wails from the abyss#irving bailiff#burt x irving
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bird in her gilded cage 💙🪽
#ref/pose is the vogue italia cover from nov 2005 by bruce weber#i realized as i was drawing this that it turned out super similar to the last painting i did of them (the kiss) BAHAH oop#just in a different font#what can i say... i just have a tried and true dynamic/cliche that i like LOL#aka super sane fictional men who just want to keep a girl all to themselves (and also to keep them safe) no red flags here move along#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian sallow x oc#sebastian x mc#hogwarts legacy sebastian#choccyart#clora clemons#i painted this in black and white and then added colour afterwards and o my god it was such a pain NEVER AGAIN!!!#i was so stressed bc i liked how i painted it but i was like WHENEVER I TRY TO ADD COLOUR IT SUCKSSSS#idk how some artists paint so well by adding colour later but i SUCK at it... i need to paint in colour from the very start#lesson learned#thank god for gradients they saved me BAHAHA#i still dont know if im happy with this but i am done looking at it
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you, and what little remains of your brother.
#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#metal sonic#miles tails prower#unbreakable bond#'family photo. say cheese!' neither of them have a mouth lol..#tails doll#thinking again abt how metal sonic was reprogrammed to hate tails. and yet he still must feel horrid guilt over his death.#im a 'tails doll has bad future tails inside; hes just not All there like metal is' truther#me (drawing thinsg that most likely arent even canon) I HATE THIS WHY IS THIS SO DEPRESSING#if you couldnt tell... tails is using sonics weird uncoiled arm as a pillow...#it isnt relevant but i think theyre in the westside dump here. back where he found tails in the first place.#i dont think either of them remember that by now. only 'this place is painful. this place is important.'#roboticized sonic theory#the title is supposed to be vague as well. works in either direction#tails doll->my brother my hero. trapped in that horrifying form. unable to be the good person i KNOW he is. is there any part of you left?#metal sonic->my brother my hope. trapped in that useless body. does he even recognize me? how much can you think? see? feel? are you empty?#my nyart#anywya#i have other versions with amy (her silhouette at least LOLSIES) but i didnt like em as much so i just... byebye ✌#serious co.pa opening vibes from this#'sachi is my pride and joy... i dont think she even recognizes me anymore...'#you get it#thats not a question. its a command. you Understand. you Do Understand...
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it mcgucket monday (da WHOLE family here‼️)
#ive had the post canon fiddauthor brainworms recently if u couldnt tell#post canon fiddauthor is literally so epic they get to lay on their super cozy comfy rich people bed in mcguckets mansion#and it cures all their chronic pain they almost definitely have and its awesome and they get to be gay together and ouughhg😢😢💞💞💞#im normal about them smiles#traditional sketches at the bottom are from like a month or two ago lol i kept forgetting to post them so theyre going here#also stepdad ford real#i dont think ford would be very good at being a dad but i think hed try his best#ok yap session over#gravity falls#fiddauthor#fiddleauthor#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleford#mcgucket monday#old man mcgucket#stanford pines#ford pines#stanford filbrick pines#grunkle ford#tate mcgucket#tater mcgucket#trans ford pines#trans fiddleford
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Yes, yes, Sanji letting Zoro help in the kitchen by letting him chop vegetables because he's good with pointy objects.
BUT. Have you considered?
They live in a world without most electrical appliances. A FUCKTON of physical labor goes into baking (and keep in mind how often Sanji bakes treats for the girls).
Sanji being tired (physically) and not feeling like taking 10 min to whip whipped cream. Being tired (mentally) of Zoro making fun of him for never working out. Sanji saying "fuck it" and just starts putting him to work.
The foccacia dough needs to be kneaded? "Have fun working a sticky mess for 20 minutes, asshole"
Need meringue? "No, STIFF peaks marimo. Don't tell me you're wimping out already"
"Are you even TRYING to flatten that steak Marimo?"
"Yes, it needs whipped cream. YES, I know you just made some yesterday. We need more"
Zoro's shoulders are burning but he's trying SO HARD not to lose face with the cook and meanwhile Sanji is silently losing it at Zoro's shock that cooking can in fact be a workout
#zosan#sanji#zoro#strawhats#op#one piece#this post brought to you by my burning shoulders#i love bread but damn#also i have made whipped cream by hand before#yes it was a complete pain.#would not recommend#i think im gonna start tagging these posts#maybe.....#anime posting#?#good as anything for now i guess#...ok i realize schnitzel isnt baking but my point still stands#also#rereading this#beating meat#stiff#sticky mess#good lord there's just a whole host of innuendo here#obviously this could be platonic too i just automatically tag it as zosan
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if you have more yqy + baby thoughts i would love to hear them ouo
I DO I REALLY DO THANK YOU ANON
I was talking with @/artsarasp about it a couple days ago but I just keep thinking about how Yue Qingyuan finding out that he's pregnant after either having a one time heat of the moment fling with Shen Jiu (he can never think fo Shen Jiu as a fling, it was everything to him) OR he's pregnant from some plant that involved both of there DNA. I like the idea they had a heated moment because already with that Yue Qingyuan would be riddled with guilt about how much he misses Shen Jiu, How he's always wanted to be close to him like that and how he can't ever get that again and how he failed him so he should've never been able to have something like that even for a moment how dare he, How dare he even think of wanting an OUNCE of anything from Shen Jiu after leaving him
And then he's pregnant. He's witn Mu Qingfang. He promises not to say anything to anyone especially because it can put the Sect Master at risk. Especially when he can see how Yue Qingyuan goes white as a sheet after telling him the news.
Yue Qingyuan would be silent. Thinking. He can't tell him. He's already taken so much from him, he's already abandoned him, he's already hurt him so much what would he think of this? He'd never speak to him again, he can handle yelling, the comments, the glare but if he was to never see Shen Jiu again he'd be nothing. He doesn't want to get rid of it the fact he has something of his and his Xiao Jiu he selfishly wants this baby as proof that they were something once, for a time. For a moment. It's not the right reasons to have a child by far and he knows it but he refuses to do anything to stop it.
Mu Qingfang would tell him what he needs and what to do and how they'd try to keep it a secret from everyone but Yue Qingyuan is half listening he has to think of how to hide this from everyone for life.
I keep also thinking about after he has the baby. Successfully without Shen Jiu knowing, except his baby has those eyes, those beautifully sharp eyes that he's used to looking at him with contempt. But on his baby they're wide with curiosity and grabbing at him with such a tenderness its making him want to scream.
Ah but I'm a softie and I physically cannot let a bad ending happen so I feel like of course Shen Jiu would find out. I'm not sure how but he does and it's more gut wrenching than Yue Qingyuan can imagine because he think he hid his own son away from him because he doesn't trust him or that he hates him so much he can't even allow a vulnerability like this. I'm sorry i don't know how but AFTER HARDSHIP AND PAIN AND TIME THEY ARE A HAPPY FAMILY YAY!!!!!
#oh wow I was really into it here TBH THE AU CAN BE ANYTHING WITH PREGNANT YQY I WAS JUST HAVING PAIN THOUGHTS WITH THEM!!!#svsss#yue qingyuan#shen qingqiu#shen jiu#qijiu#ask#nib rambles#ah im not a writer so i genuinely cant close the gap of them argueing to loving family im so sorry#artsarah was also talking about how Yue Qingyuan would have very bad postpartum too along with all his other emotions aaaaa#qijiu baby shenanigans
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digitizing some sketches i made for my etsy and a completely unrelated song, because i like to add songs :)
#jason todd#tim drake#dc#my art#red hood#red robin#im gonna color this. and do a bunch more. but i havent posted any art in foreverrrr so here is a sketch lol#trying to stick to adding a song to every post. idk if anyone listens to them but im doing it#listening to a lot of queer girl punk. i have Thoughts for Steph. this will come later tho#yes jason is reading gtn btw. because its a fantastic book and i feel he would very much enjoy it#this is ur sign to read it if you like tortured evil lesbians and horror and mystery and sooo much pain and yearning and a truly insane plo
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I am going insane about these stoats
(my insta is @trisideseye and that's where I mostly post art. I'm purely posting here bc @quiddie is active on here and I need aabria to know, personally ,how fucked up I am about these stoats)
#burrows end#burrows end spoilers#burrows end tula#tula burrows end#brennan lee mulligan#aabria iyengar#i. abandoned tumblr. i am trying to not use tumblr for any more than following people. i used to post here but i gave up bc i got annoyed#im in physical pain. every ounce of me doesnt want to post my cool art on fuckung tumblr.#tumblr CANNOT be my main social again. I need to give my socials to EMPLOYERS. i want to make art for a JOB#but there are more dimension 20 bitches on tumblr than insta bc its the mentally ill platform#and i need. peiple to understand how fycked up i am abt this stoat mom.#im insane. im insane. im insane. im biting this piece of media im the jugular like i myself am a stoat#and i cant SAY that on instagram the EMPLOYERS will have my ass!!!!!!#anyways.#dimension 20
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I forgot about posting this one a bit ago, another based on a true story (I got the N hat and its really cool ok)
Aaaand my wacom tablet is finally dying after all these years....
#Im in pain but here's some wholesome NxUzi#liam vickers animation#Murder Drones#Murder Drones fanart#md N#md uzi#Nuzi#Biscuitbites#Glitch fanart#Glitch#digital art#Because I think they are adorable and I totally see what Liam's doing#And yes this is based on a true story#My boyfriend gives me all the inspiration for my art#(Mostly shipping art)#Ahem anyways#*Talon's Art#*Myart#*My art#Dunno when I am gonna be getting another drawing tablet hhh
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#i'm here to ruining EVERYONES DAY#tw: torture#i felt like more people needed to know the lore about the arkhamverse because it's absolutely gut-wrenching so hehe ur welcome for the pain#the fact that bruce did try and find him for so long makes me wanna scream#cause ya know they make it sound like he gave up really fast and just abandoned him#but he did try for SIX months? up until he thought jason was dead? (and yes we can debate that he should have known but pls it's a game)#(they needed that to happen for the story so blame the writers)#just as jason had hope for several months that bruce would come for him!#and that makes me so fucking feral#“finally gave up the search” stop stop im crying im not okay#oh my god bruce and jason melts my brain#jason todd#jaybin#red hood#batman: the arkham knight#batman#arkham knight#the arkham knight#ak jason todd#arkham knight jason todd#joker#dcu#jasontoddedit#my gifs#info from wiki and so#this is truly THE saddest version of brujay honestlyyyyyyyyyy#i also like the “mentor and ward” aspect :3#he was likeee 18-20 here i believe?#:(
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his ass is not listening‼️‼️
drawing without backgroung under cut
#sth#sonic fanart#sonic the hedgehog#im trying so hard to make backgrounds#this one was a pain in the ass#and idk if it was worth it#but yk what? whatever. here you have#nov.aart
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