#IM DISCUSSING THINGS IN DEPTH WITH THE VOICES IN MY HEAD

[identity-theft-101]

…. you did not follow the side

[Sips my caffeine ]

In my defense

I was bored

and there was a link

[disneyprincemuke]

ღ this barbie can cook

every single weekend, without fail, there is one thing that mick looks forward to that has absolutely nothing to do with the adrenaline from the race. it’s actually the fact that she makes him lunch all 4 days of a race weekend and they eat it together in honda’s cafeteria together while the prop up her ipad on the table and bond over a korean drama she managed to coax him into watching.

during pre-season testing in bahrain, she made him a lot of japanese food. japanese curry as promised, then a bowl of ramen, gyudon and then onigiri for race day.

for their first race weekend, korean food. korean fried chicken, bibimbap, japchae and bulgogi in that order. in jeddah, she tried threw him a wildcard of dishes while somehow still sticking to a theme: baked potato, mashed potatoes, potato soup and sauteed potatoes.

it’s a game they like to play every weekend — how long can mick decipher the theme of food she’s making him?

“hi,” she grins, dropping her bright pink lunch bag on the table. she thanks mick softly as he pulls the chair next to him out for her to take a seat. “i brought lunch!”

he smiles with a nod. it’s funny that she would say that as if it’s something that they did not establish beforehand — that she would be making him lunch every race weekend that they’re teammates. “did you now?”

“i made pakora,” she says as she starts to take out multiple tupperwares out from her bag. “fried veggies.”

“really?” he scrunches his nose with a frown, pulling a giggle as she throws her head back. “veggies on media day? you’ve gone cruel, barbie. where’s my junk food?”

she blinks at him, eyes wide as she formulates a response in her head. “it’s fried. it’s already junk food, mick.”

he scoffs, furrowing his eyebrows and scowling in feigned disgust. “this is ridiculous, barbie! vegetables on media day!”

she stiffens up and turns to him, blinking slowly. “you don’t like it? really?” her voice comes out softly and fragile as her lips quiver slightly. she starts to put the cover back on her tupperware. “we can just get something from catering. it’s okay.”

only then mick realises that he’s messed up. he’s always joked around with her, the girl either tilting her head in confusion at jokes with depth or simply faking a laugh to try and please him. otherwise, jokes usually just go over her head.

“no!” mick sits up quickly, patting her hands lightly, shaking his head profusely. “barbie, i was joking. usually you only give me the healthy food on race day — it’s media day. get it?”

she stares at him, eyes still wide and hesitant. “are you sure? it’s okay if you don’t want it, really.”

“barbie.” he tears her hands from the tupperware along its cover. “it was a joke. you know i look forward to your cooked lunches every weekend! thank you so much for cooking again.”

“you’re sure?”

he grins. “of course. so,” he taps on her ipad, “is the new episode out yet?”

instantly, she perks up as if forgetting her initial concerns. “yes! the new episodes are out — there’s 2!” she taps away on her ipad to turn on the show she’s decided they will watch and spend the entire day discussing.

“oh, cool. so, how long did it take you to make this meal?”

“just a while,” she shrugs. she takes out their utensils, offering the other pair to mick. “let’s have lunch!”

taglist: @33-81 @darleneslane @namgification @happy-nico @nikfigueiredo @localwhoore @notawc @angsthology @renarots @elliegrey2803 @cha-hot @cosmoscoffeee @fanficweasley @sugarhoneylemons @aquangxl @omgsuperstarg @strawberryubin @lovecarsgoingvroom @mangotaitai @cherry-piee @ladyladybuggg @lethalvenus @spilled-coffee-cup @charizznorizz @wcnorris @storminacloud @minkyungseokie @viennakarma @leilanixx @daniellef89x @fezlvr @lavisenri @xcharlottemikaelsonx @ultraviolencesam @selsbackyard @ilove-tswizzle @riddle-me-im-sirius @kindestofkings

[vibinsane]

we need to have an in-depth discussion about rafayel definitely having a scent kink. “try and smell something i’m familiar with? which means i should sniff you, yeah?” IS THIS SOMETHING THAT HAPPENS OFTEN? SIR????

the way his voice gets deeper and his breathing gets heavier? and the fabric rustling in the background? is he supposed to be grinding into you while doing ALL THAT?? and his “yeah”s?? this man is definitely a talker oh my goddd. i’m definitely not thinking about the way he’ll talk you through it right now. good thing he didn’t call us a good girl in this one because i fear i would’ve spontaneously combusted.

this isn’t funny anymore i need him inside me. or maybe i need to be taken out back and shot, i’m not picky

he is a fucking talker, he will guide you through everything and just. he definitely has a scent kink but the WHOLE FACT BOTH HIM AND MC ARE BLINDFOLDED TOO??? excuse me, sensory deprivation a whole ass thing.

NO BUT NONNIE FOR FUCKING REAL the way his voice drops when the aphrodisiac hits??? the heavy breathing??? the way he just "so... much... more" and LIKE IM NOT ABOUT TO LISTEN TO THIS AUDIO AGAIN WHEN I GET HOME just to make a whole long horny ass post again like the time i was just looking for a damn part in his god of tides myth and got ATTACKED BY HIS SMIRK when i paused.

*screaming into the fucking void* yeah?

i'm STILL MELTING at "if you're scared you can cling onto me but i'm not gonna stop" *INHALES* boi.

if he had called us good girl or anything equivalent to ANY FUCKING PRAISE i wouldve fucking COMBUSTED, IMPLODED. YOU NAME IT. that voice? praising you?

i need this man carnally and if i were to speak of the thoughts in my head right now— i shall nOT

[kunimilktea]

This picture of kori in the last post is sending me

She looks so silly dkkskskdkd.

Speaking of kori (also hey I had an mc called cori that's cool!) when do her and cove get together? Is it in the step 2 epilogue with the confession or during the charity confession?

Also unrelated to Kori but what do you mind going more into depth on your thoughts for both Derek and Baxter dlcs? I love discussions around their dlcs I wish people would genuinely talk more about itz going into depth into the themes of the dlcs and how they affect Derek and Baxter as characters, but then again I'm someone who loves analyzing the media they consume so djdkdkjd. General discussions about these things drive me crazy (I think is worth mentioning that I'm autistic so djdkdk)

Your art is also very lovely I loved watching your doodles, you're one of the artists I always look forward to to get a notification from 🫶

THATS ALOT OF QUESTIONS YOU GOT THERE BUDDY,,,,

Im kidding tho it's appreciated nonetheless ^_^

SO FIRST OF ALL THANKS FOR LIKING MY ART 🥹🥹🥹 i try my best to make time for drawing my silly our life doodles despite being busy in college and i appreciate anyone who rlly enjoys my dumb doodles of my ol mc shenanigans

Answering the confession question, they confess at the end of step 3 cause i thought the slowburn was fun 😇

I actually drew their first kiss right here

Now with the derek and baxter dlc question,,,

So fun fact! With how i played the the dlcs over all me and my friend Lo (@/oiulse) would choose which boy to play the dlc and stream it on call, so Lo picked Baxter and i took Derek, it was really funny cause casual constantly played in our heads during the Baxter dlc (bless lo btw for gifting me both dlcs labyu oomf 🫰)

With how i feel with BOTH dlcs

For my boy Derek Suarez

When i played the first moment from dereks dlc my voice started like acting up from how long THAT specific moment was, maybe its just me but the first moment in particular felt really long, I get it though its the first time ur meeting the suarez family and in no way did i NOT enjoy it, but there were indeed moments where im like DAMN ITS STILL NOT OVER cause of how tired my voice was getting LMFAO, all the other moments were rlly fun my favorite one from the dlc was where u hang out with liz on daddy day and there was an option to gift a card to cliff 🥹, his step 4 was also a bunch of fun i loved the family bonding get to do with the suarez brothers (u can just tell that i love family aus) and getting to hang out with derek made me love him more as a chr, HIS STEP 4 VOICE IS STILL A JUMPSCARE TO ME FROM HOW DRASTICALLY DIFFERENT IT IS (no hate to the va btw) STILL VERY FUNNY THOUGH HAHAHA, i made it so that Derek, kori and cove get to be neighbors before the both of them get married so now they hang out LOTS

With THE Baxter FUCKING Alexander Ward

I heard from another friend that the baxter's dlc was gonna be angsty and i was like oh hell fuckin yeah i love angst! AND THERE CERTAINLY WAS ANGST ILL TELL U THAT MUCH, since i was watching lo play through the Baxter dlc i will admit there were a few times where i spaced out cause ANOTHER fun fact, we played the dlcs like really late on my timezone so i was either drawing while Lo was playing or i was in the brink of conking the fuck out, i was able to know what was going on overall i think the ONLY moment i like fully spaced out on was when the mc and baxter were like out drinking or smth and there was this entire thing with the bartender and the singer, that specific scene in particular i was fully focusing on smth else and it wasnt till later that when i played the baxter dlc for myself that i knew what was finally going on, since me and lo have our castaways au to think abt while playing these dlcs we were building aus upon aus of what lo's mc would do when meeting with baxter again after 5 years its fun lo has never been the same since and neither have i, the angst was good soup and i can see why baxter's dlc was more expensive than derek's LMFAO

But ironically enough the dlc that made me cry was DEREKS DLC,,, that moment on the step 4 epilogue with the brothers having a heart to heart is going to be MY ROMAN EMPIRE, I FUCKING LOVE FAMILIES BRO GAUGHHHH

Anyways sorry that was unnecessarily long i could have organized my thoughts more but i dont have the patience for that so i hope u dont mind that all my thoughts and feelings were all over the place hahaha

In conclusion the dlcs was a nice content buffet 👍

[rebuke-me]

broadway bmc critiques

this is a list of all my critiques of broadway bmc, in no particular order. this is not a post meant to hate those who are fans of Broadway bmc, because preference is subjective. I did my best to keep personal bias out of it, but some aspects are inextricable. please keep discussions civil. if you think critique will make you upset, I encourage you to skip this post.

- the writing is significantly watered down for the audience. while the original show was not a masterpiece of writing by any means, it only occasionally talks down to the audience. part of my interest in the original show was the open-ended characters. however, in the Broadway version, subtext is made into text, and that really hurts the show. most of the characters in tr had presumed depth, whereas bw wrote sync up: a song telling everyone exactly what was wrong with every character, rather than having the viewers observe it for themselves through dialogue and actions. tr already laid that foundation, it already had the character development. fans had already been analyzing the characters for years, and everyone pretty much got what they meant. bw felt, to me, like it was holding my hand through it and explaining to me every aspect of the characters.

- the writing of the new songs especially is. incredibly contrived. I've listened to the songs as I can bear (I do not like some of the voices in the songs, so I will admit to not listening to all of the songs, but I did make an attempt.) and the writing is significantly worse. while the tr songs weren't masterpieces, by any means, they were at least catchy and fun. the appeal of the bmc music is the earworm of it all, the way that it's fun and memorable. the bw versions new songs have not stuck in my head whatsoever, unlike the previous songs. loser geek whatever is another case of telling the audience rather than showing it: fans of tr already knew Jeremy was upset about being an outcast. we understood that. his decision at the end of upgrade was understandable to audiences, although usually not agreed with. an entire song with the writers literally physically telling the audience how he is feeling, in simple rhyme and a melody that doesn't stick out, wasn't necessary. a new song was intriguing, and could have fleshed out plot holes of the original show, but instead just tried shoving another square peg into a hole we had already been made aware of.

- fan pandering. this is an aspect of every media that has a large internet fan base, especially in the past ten years. while some aspects of the show may have been in the plans all along, the Broadway version feels like they were too engrossed in the fan culture. im a big proponent for creators being divorced from their fans, and the Broadway version is why. the addition of more moments implying a romantic connection between rich and michael at the end, with no discussion of character development, felt shoehorned in for the fans. Michael as a whole shifted closer to the fanon interpretation of him, rather than remaining the character from the original show, becoming more soft spoken and awkward.

- failure to add in diversity in a respectful way. (to preface this, I am a white person. if I say anything out of line in this section, I am more than willing to admit that, and would love to hear from the perspective of poc bmc fans, especially black fans.) a main critique of tr bmc in my opinion is the way it handled a lot of heavy topics, including diversity and the like. bw bmc made strides towards giving roles to non-white actors, which is always a good thing. however, the characters chosen for the diversity were made more stereotypical for being made into poc. jenna rolan became more of a stereotype of a talkative, phone obsessed black woman. Jenna is the less egregious example of this, as she has more depth. however, jake being black makes his character traits of being the child of money launderers, being violent towards others, being unhoused and physically harmed in the fire, not knowing how to "speak properly" at times and being a "player" seem more racially motivated. of course, none of these aspects of a character are bad, per se, but all combined into a character that is now black feels stereotypical.

- failure to fix some issues with tr. I am always willing to critique my own interests. while I have a preference towards tr, and a fixation on it, I will admit it has issues. notably, these include telling rather than showing (an issue that only got worse in bw), the treatment of female characters, and a variety of other issues. female characters in bw still have the same issues, as a whole. brooke is still the stereotypical blonde ditz. she does get a bit of development, but an opportunity for her to stand up for herself could have been needed in bw. christine is still little more than the love interest, and still ends up with the main character at the end, despite being meant to be a feminist, complete with patch on her jacket. the female characters rarely talk to each other about anything other than a man, or gossip, usually about men. none of them form solid friendships with no romantic ties with almost any of the male characters, either. the show costumes the characters in apparel that preaches feminism and writes a message about equality and being yourself, yet bars most character development from the female characters. this could have been rectified in bw, considering an entire song was added and scenes were rewritten, but was not.

I have other issues with the show, but those are more personal critiques with preferences, rather than in depth analysis of why I think the show is not as beloved by the fan base as a whole. those aren't going to be added here, because a lot of them don't lend any credence to my arguments, they're just personal opinions on character choices and actors.

if anything I've said in this post is incorrect, please let me know. I admit I'm not very well versed in the Broadway show, since I very much dislike it, so if any details are incorrect, I'd love to hear your thoughts.

also like. don't be a dick in the replies and tags please, that'd be nice. civil conversation and debate is okay, but attacking people for their interests is not.

[missbolt]

Yes, of course it hurts when buds burst

– Wilhelm in the light of Karin Boye

In the second season, Wille and Simon work together on a group project about the book Kris "Crisis" by Karin Boye. The book's plot has obvious parallels to Simon and Wille's story, allowing them to reflect on their own relationship through their discussion of the book. I wonder whether including a work by Karin Boye may serve another purpose in the series as well.

In Norway where I'm from, and I think in Sweden as well, Karin Boye's name is inextricably linked to her most well-known poem Ja visst gör det ont när knoppar brister "Yes, of course it hurts when buds burst". The title/first line of this poem is particularly famous and is frequently referenced. In fact, whenever I hear or think of Karin Boye, this line automatically pops into my head, and I don't think I'm alone in that. As it happens, this poem may also serve as a beautiful metaphor for Wille's journey in the series.

Here is the full poem, first in the original Swedish version, then in an English translation slightly adapted from Jenny Nunn's translation:

Ja visst gör det ont när knoppar brister.

Varför skulle annars våren tveka?

Varför skulle all vår heta längtan

bindas i det frusna bitterbleka?

Höljet var ju knoppen hela vintern.

Vad är det för nytt, som tär och spränger?

Ja visst gör det ont när knoppar brister,

ont för det som växer

och det som stänger.

Ja nog är det svårt när droppar faller.

Skälvande av ängslan tungt de hänger,

klamrar sig vid kvisten, sväller, glider –

tyngden drar dem neråt, hur de klänger.

Svårt att vara oviss, rädd och delad,

svårt att känna djupet dra och kalla,

ändå sitta kvar och bara darra -

svårt att vilja stanna

och vilja falla.

Då, när det är värst och inget hjälper,

brister som i jubel trädets knoppar.

Då, när ingen rädsla längre håller,

faller i ett glitter kvistens droppar .

glömmer att de skrämdes av det nya,

glömmer att de ängslades för färden –

känner en sekund sin största trygghet,

vilar i den tillit som skapar världen.

Yes, of course it hurts when buds burst.

Otherwise why would spring hesitate?

Why would all our fervent longing

be bound in the frozen bitter haze?

The bud was the casing all winter.

What is this new thing, which consumes and bursts?

Yes, of course it hurts when buds burst,

pain for that which grows

and for that which envelops.

Yes, it is surely hard when drops fall.

Trembling with fear they hang heavy,

clammer on the branch, swell and slide -

the weight pulls them down, how they cling.

Hard to be uncertain, afraid and divided,

hard to feel the deep pulling and calling,

yet sit there and just quiver –

hard to want to stay

and to want to fall.

Then, at the point of agony when all is beyond help,

the tree's buds burst as if in jubilation,

then, when no fear holds them back any longer,

the branch's drops tumble in a shimmer,

forgetting that they were afraid of the new,

forgetting that they were fearful of the journey –

feeling for a second their greatest security,

resting in the trust

that creates the world.

In the series, we see how Wille goes from letting his family dictate his life, to realising what agency he does have, and finding his own voice and path. We see him going from trying to conform to what is expected of someone in his role, to prioritising himself and Simon and their love. We see him going from struggling with whether he as a crown prince can be openly queer, to coming out very publicly.

Karin Boye's poem reminds us of why Wille couldn't free himself from the expectations of him as crown prince and come out earlier: because the growth he goes through hurts so damn much. Even spring hesitates. How can we fault Wille for doing the same?

However, Boye's poem also provides us with hope. They start the group project on her book in episode three of season two, a very painful episode where Wille sinks into the depths of hopelessness and despair. It is as though the reference to Boye's poem which for me at least is implied here, tries to reassure us and Wille that everything will be alright. No matter how long spring hesitates, it will always arrive at last. The painful events of this episode is a catalyst for Wille and Simon's journey back to each other again, for Wille finding his voice and forging his own path. And we know that when no fear holds them back any longer, the drops will fall and spring will arrive at last. This moment comes during Wille's speech at the very end of the season, where he says: Jag är också rädd. Men jag tänker sluta med det nu. "I'm also scared. But that ends now." Immediately afterwards, he owns up to being in the video with Simon, thereby publicly coming out as queer and freeing himself from what has been expected of him as crown prince. The he turns and smiles at Simon, who smiles back. The buds have burst as in jubilation.

Whether the writers intend to evoke this poem or not, it perfectly encapsulates the enormous growth Wille goes through during these first two seasons. The growing process is incredibly painful, but it is what ultimately allows Wille to blossom and turn into a truer, better version of himself, letting everyone see the colours he has previously kept hidden inside himself. I can't wait to see Wille blossom in season three!

[anti-anti-wizard-council]

hi

ok so i have had A DAY. but!! i have good news and i have bad news, and its all in the form of the "bad news" you're reading now. as in. the article. that is written poorly. for those who do not know me, hello! a pleasure to have your attention. you may call me Teslas. i hope to deliver information to you again, eventually.

i was writing an article on the University, specifically the anti-magic department. im sure most people who attended actually got through the required unit of anti studies, at least. you know, you took apart stage magician's wands over the course of the semester and made them fancy sticks by the end, barely able to produce a single petal, let alone a full bouquet. you saw what made them tick. you got bored and never took another class over there again unless you had to.

me too! so relatable.

still, i did work at the library one semester, so i knew how to coax the cats to fetch me the most promising tomes containing the most promising theories to discuss with Professor John F. W. Herschel, head of the AM department. my goal was to wrap my head around how anti-magic worked, or just... maybe how it worked, if the academics hadn't gotten to definitive statements yet. its okay.

we all struggle with self-confidence sometimes, and that includes fields of study.

anyways, i found a book with a theory that i really liked. the book was 50 pounds so i just copied down the singular page the particular theory was written on. said theory was that magic was not unlike a soundwave, just rippling the aether. it stands to reason that if magic works like a wave, the exact opposite waveform would cause destructive interference and produce something like what we see with anti-magic fields, curses and the like.

that was the good news, that i found that.

the bad news is that this is where my good luck ended.

i was so planning on talking to Prof J. F. W. Herschel, but on the way to his office there are the herbology gardens and The Hedge. Any self-respecting student would know to turn right, lest you be taken by The Hedge for turning left at the first crossroad. dear reader, once upon a time, i was taken by The Hedge. for a while i lived there, eating berries that aged my soul and greyed a single hair for each one i swallowed. i heard the voice of my sibling, referring to me as... my full, legal name. i knew not to listen, as they were gone, and whatever this thing was was not my beloved Steve, as Steve called me... not my full legal name.

but my friends, despite my reluctance to approach the entrance to the garden, even if i was to pass it, i trekked on. and i trekked closer. and then I stopped at the gate, to look at my one-time prison, ever verdant through the work of the Groundskeeper, my savior, my warden.

It called to me. The Hedge called to me. It wanted me back. It missed me, and I missed it. I missed falling asleep to the thought of not knowing which twists and turns I'd take on the morrow, that I was exploring depths to which no mortal had ever seen or would ever see again, Divines willing. The beast that called my name, that mournfully yearned for my embrace, or so it said—I wanted to answer its call once and for all, to know the face of the one who wanted me to a greater and grander extent than any creature ever did and ever will.

My hand touched the gate. I began to undo the latch, ready to hear its endearing welcoming screech one last time. But then I remembered, I had to deliver my article to Straw. The Hedge's call did not supersede my duties to my friend and my wider community. Not right now.

if anyone else would like to interview Professor Herschel in my stead, be my guest. if not, i shall find an alternate route to him. please ask Straw about the document i copied, if you want to know more. i am going to take a nap and be back in 1-3 business days. thank you for reading xoxo

[sunflowersteves]

i'm supposed to be cleaning up my dorm rn but i cant stop thinking abt steve and insecure!reader

first of all hed be so confused as to how you dont think youre beautiful, so hed ask. i think youd tell him maybe you got cheated on or something in the past and hed make it his mission to make sure you felt beautiful all the time. hed call you beautiful every single day, whether youre in one of his sweaters tangled up in bed with no makeup, or in a ballgown, every single day without fail......

(nsfw under here so dont read if you dont want to !)

....hed also rail you in front of a mirror and make you tell him how pretty you are, when he thinks hes got it into your pretty little head, he'll let you cum on his cock.

ok bye babes im gonna go make dinner (a bowl of cereal)

idk how i missed this bc it's making my mouth water,, also i hoped you enjoyed ur cereal dinner ;)

warnings || smut!! insecurity over appearance, fingering, [18+ only]

He would literally look over at you randomly—your face could be stuffed with Cheetos, but he thinks you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever laid his eyes on.

“You’re beautiful.” He says. His eyes dart from your pajama shorts and all the way up to your cheesy fingers.

His graveled voice sends shivers down your spine. You even try to shy away from his comment, but it was no use. Steve casted his lure and hooked you like no other.

You, in your pajamas, focusing on the movie in front of you with glassy eyes had Steve staring for what felt like an eternity. He no longer cared about whatever it was Patrick Swayze was saying—he cared about staring at you.

~~

He smiles through the doorframe, watching you steady your hand to delicately place eyeliner on your lid.

“You’re beautiful.” He whispers. After you perfected the winged liner, you turn toward him.

You giggle this time at your wide eyed boyfriend that’s stunned by your beauty. “Thanks, stevie. You’re beautiful too.”

And at that, he smiles. He smiles so wide—teeth sparkling and joy flushing through his chest. 

“Shall we?” He holds out his arm for you. You lift your dress so you can tiptoe over toward him. You grab your shoes off of the floor and gladly take his arm.

“We shall.”

~~

The third time he tells you that you’re beautiful is when you had discussed of your past insecurities regarding your appearance.

His smile never faded so quickly at the depths of your mind deceiving you of what you truly are—beautiful.

When he tells you that you’re the most beautiful essence he’s ever laid his eyes upon—there’s a sharp glimpse in your eye that tells him you don’t believe him.

So, with your permission, he asks if he could show you how much he thinks you’re beautiful. You obliged, though, you must admit to yourself that you didn’t expect much from it.

Oh, how you were wrong.

Steve sat on the ground, slender legs pouring underneath your own. He spread your thighs out wide for him and stood in front of the two of you was a mirror.

The mirror was long and rectangular that proceeded to grasp every glimpse of you and your arousal.

“Such a pretty baby, yeah? Look at you drippin’ for me.” His words slur together as if he was drunk, and he was.

He was drunk off of the sweet sounds that left your lips and the intoxicating spasms that your walls curled around his fingers.

“Y-You’re so beautiful, baby, so much.” Your head leans back on his chest—your fingers in a death grip on his forearms attacking your spongey hole. “See how beautiful you are for me? S-So wet and, fuck, good.”

You nodded but you weren’t all the way there. Not when he expertly knows exactly how to make you crumble.

“You gonna cum, pretty? C-Can feel you squeezin’ my fingers.” He presses gentle and soft kisses against the base of your neck.

Your slick kissed the apex of your thighs and you could hear each squelch of Steve’s thick fingers dragging out. “S-Steve.”

You beg. You preen. You squirm.

“I’ll only let you cum if you say how beautiful you are, hmm? You won’t get my cock until I see those pretty lips open.”

[lilac-5ky]

To Bake A Cake (Takasugi x Birthday Fem!Reader)

A/N: Last month was my birthday and I decided to write myself a birthday fic including my beloved, but due to certain annoying family situations, it took me ages to finish ;-; But it's finally done, and voila, I decided to post it even though my birthday was over 2 weeks ago lmao.

Plot: After a run-in with Sakamoto, Takasugi realizes it's your birthday, and decides to grant you a wish. Who could have thought such wish involved whisking and baking?

guest starring tatsuma and mutsu because i realized ive pretty much never included them in anything.

Warning: Comedic fluff with lots of smut :p

(here's a ss gif because im too much a chicken to dive in the final arc just yet ;-; but he looks fine af and ;-;)

“Takasugi?”

If there is one thing Takasugi Shinsuke has learned during his rather unpleasant sojourn in life, it’s that the sound of his name seldom accompanies a blessing. Everywhere he went, disaster followed, and this place was no exception.

Be it at Edo Mart or a terminal millions of miles away from Earth, a world renowned terrorist should never even dream of setting foot inside a tobacco store with such abandon. Still that was exactly what he did, and now, he was left with no other choice, but to face the consequences of his poor decision making.

With the smoke still in hand, Takasugi hurried out of the store. A head-on confrontation in the middle of the crowd wouldn’t do, and so he kept on walking, until the voice of his pursuer faded into existence. Had he misheard? Could it be that he’d grown paranoid enough to be chased by illusions?

Bewildered, he packed the tobacco inside his yukata, when a disturbingly familiar cackle reached his ears.

“Damn, I can’t believe it was actually you.” The silhouette of a man dressed in a red duster and a pair of dark circular shades said. “If I didn’t know any better, I would have assumed you avoided me.”

This was far worse than a rogue bounty hunter, space fighter or Naraku assassin catching whiff of him. Something he dreaded more than all three combined.

“What if I was?” Takasugi taunted.

“That’s not how you greet an old friend, Takasugi. Especially when we haven’t spoken in years!” Sakamoto pouted, awkwardly scratching the back of his head. “My letters haven’t reached the Kihentai?”

“They haven’t.” He replied in a stern tone, ignoring his friend’s comment.

In reality, Takasugi had gotten his hands on every single letter Sakamoto sent his way, though he never answered back any of them. That’s not to say he never tried to, more like he was incapable of doing so. What would he write? What was there for him to say when there was nothing piecing the two together?

Idle small talk was never his thing. He couldn’t just go back to the time when the four of them chattered about everything and nothing in particular all at once. The bonds of the past belonged in the depths of his mind, along with the memories they shared. No matter how much he yearned to traverse that limit, the only road for him was the one lying ahead. He had no time for distractions.

“That’s a shame.” Sakamoto said, buying into it. “Have you met with the others then? I hear Zura is in the same field you are.”

“Same field, entirely different agenda.” He scoffed. “Let’s just say Zura’s more like a prickle pointing at my side rather than an ally.”

“I find that hard to believe. Wasn’t he the one to always clean after your mess?”

“We’re old enough to be cleaning after our own messes. Times change, Tatsuma. I’m sure you know that best.” He sighed, taking a few steps further away from the crowd, and hopefully, away from this discussion.

“People don’t. When I look at you, I only see the same idiot who put his life on the line for a lost war. Same goes for the others.”

By the looks of it, getting rid or him wouldn’t be this easy. Even when Takasugi walked away, Sakamoto kept trailing after him, until the two made it past the quiet corner of a souvenir shop. As if anyone would want a memento to remember this god-forsaken land by. Other than a safe heaven for criminals and merchants to conduct their business in discretion, this planet offered next to nothing. The lack of sustainable tourism was enough proof for that.

At the back of the store, lied a handful of vacant chairs, one of which Sakamoto sat on and another of which Takasugi rejected. He had no particular intention to get all cozy by his side, not when the cold metallic wall felt far more welcoming.

“Was this supposed to come off as an insult or a compliment?” Takasugi sneered.

“Just an old friend’s insight.” Sakamoto chuckled, stretching his limbs. “I take it you haven’t been talking with Kintoki either.”

“I haven’t.” He admitted, the last time the two of them conversed -or, rather squabbled- still vivid in his brain.

“In that case, why don’t we plan a reuni- ”

“I’m busy.” He cut him off.

“But I never said when-”

“I’ll be busy.”

The last thing he needed was a get-together with these three idiots. Running into one of them was bad enough on its own, be it the lesser evil. Even if part of him wanted to gather around a campfire, tossing stories and insults as if nothing ever soured between them, there was no way he’d never admit it. Not to himself, and certainly, not to him.

“I should get going.” Takasugi said, looking to end this little misfortune, when Sakamoto jumped before him.

“Wait! I didn’t tell you why I was here in the first place.” Sakamoto exclaimed, revealing a rather large box from behind his back, one that Takasugi had failed to notice in prior.

“I don’t remember asking.” He smirked in an attempt to hide his curiosity.

“I was gonna have this delivered at your ship, but since you are here, you should take it.” He said, urging him to grab the parcel. “It’s for Y/N.”

“Y/N?” Takasugi asked, visibly intrigued. He was aware the two of you shared the same beginnings in life, but he would’ve never guessed you’d kept contact after the war.

“Takasugi, don’t tell me you don’t remember your own girlfriend’s birthday.” Sakamoto said in a semi-accusatory tone.

“She’s not my girlfriend.” He objected, the latter part of the sentence having yet to register.

He’d rather take his other eye out than let others define your relationships as that of a boyfriend and a girlfriend, but at the same time, Takasugi was unsure of what to actually introduce you as. The woman he slept with seemed too shallow, the woman he loved too grandiose. Perhaps the term partner was the closest at doing you justice. Still, titles meant nothing when he knew precisely what you were, and that was his.

His and only his.

“Is she not? Wow, then I suppose it’s not too late for me to shoot my shot.” Sakamoto declared with a grin.

“Not unless you want to get shot first.”

At his threat, Sakamoto couldn’t help but burst into laughter, nearly dropping the box to the ground. Which he would have done, had it not been for Takasugi successfully catching it midair. It was even heavier than it looked, he noted as he balanced it against his hip.

“I was just kidding! Well, not entirely, but I don’t suppose you plan on sharing, right?”

His silence was the only answer he could spare. A merchant should know better than to go after things that were never up for sale in the first place.

“Besides, I’m happy things worked out between you two. Y/N was a real knockout back home. I never worried about her hitting it off with someone, but you finding someone who can put up with your grumpiness long term? That’s amazing!” He went on, following his words with another of his distinct cackles.

Takasugi could feel himself getting increasingly irked with every word Sakamoto spewed, even when deep down he could see his point. It was true that he wasn’t the world’s easiest person and that you’d endured hell by choosing to stay around a guy like him. Maybe to others it looked as if you were the one who needed him, considering how you always clung onto him, but in reality, it was the other way around. You were the only one who could make these dark clouds disperse, the only one he truly needed.

“Remember how just about half the girls were in love with you, yet the second you looked their way they ran away? Or how you made that girl cry right after she confessed? Poor thing, she even made you a card! Or-or, how every time we went down to Yoshiwara, no girl managed to spend an entire night with you without-”

Just when he was about to mellow down a bit, Sakamoto started speaking again, his laughter constantly breaking his own sentences in half.

“Will you keep listing more unpleasant incidents?” Takasugi asked through gritted teeth, finding it impossible to maintain his composure.

“No, of course not! I was just pointing out how you seem to have found your one true match. Really puts the whole ‘there’s someone out there for everyone’ thing into perspective.” Sakamoto grinned earnestly.

“Then you are lucky more than half the population tends to your standards.” He mumbled, as he lowered his gaze towards the box.

Why did he not know it was your birthday today? No matter how busy he was, he couldn’t have possibly forgotten, unless he never knew about it in the first place.

Come think of it, you first met amidst the war. A merchant’s daughter with great prospects and an even greater future awaiting her, choosing to fund a war she wasn’t part of, and it was all because of him. Because ever since you met, you kept trying to earn his attention through whatever means necessary.

He remembered how persistent you were, suggesting he owed you so much as a mere talk when you’d burnt all this money on his cause. At first, he saw no reason for you to get too friendly with one another. All you were was a friend of a friend, and so, he’d brushed your advances, blatantly stating that no amount of yen was enough to buy him. However, you weren’t disheartened. You kept asking him to name his price over and over again, until he finally caved in and took you on a crappy date by the shore.

Truthfully, he sucked at dating, back then and right now. The right words never came easily, and getting involved with someone during such a crucial point of his life was a hassle. But even when he’d chosen to maintain his silence, idly tossing rocks into the sea, you’d chosen to grab a stone of your own, and join him without a single complaint. You’d stayed by his side until the awkward silence became comfortable, until the moon gave way to the sun, until your nights were filled with hasty kisses and unbottled chuckles.

And then the war came to an end. All survivors either returned home, or found a new place to call that, but he wasn’t among those. Perhaps he never survived that war, perhaps he never left the battlefield. He kept on dragging the horrors of the past with him, but worse, he kept dragging you along.

You were the person he valued more than his life, that was for certain. Every smile, every kiss, every night, even your own future, you’d given that all without asking for anything in return. But why was it that you’d kept something so trivial a secret? Why was it that he had no actual recollection of you ever celebrating a damn occasion by his side? Why was it that he felt as if the times you’d cried outnumbered the ones you’d smiled?

“But, Takasugi, you should know better than to disappoint her.” Sakamoto interrupted his thoughts. “Between you and me, women really do care about birthdays and anniversaries more than we do. You should also get her a little something while you still have time. Usually something shiny or pretty cuts it, but if push comes to shove, then you could always push or shove something else into her-”

Before Takasugi had the chance to truly grasp his friend’s explicit hints, a punch came raining down on him, sending his glasses flying and his head to meet the floor.

“I thought I heard a dog barking.” The voice of a woman spoke in a harsh tone, her presence revealed behind the man’s fallen body.

Long brown hair concealed by a straw hat. Fair complexion and cunning eyes. He’d only seen this woman once before, though such formidable persona was unforgettable.

“Mu-Mutsu?” Sakamoto squeaked.

“Didn’t you promise to stay put, Sakamoto? Do I really need to tie a leash around your neck?” She asked, rubbing the point of her shoe against his throat.

“Wh—what are you talking about? We were only catching up!” Sakamoto cried, attempting to lift her leg with both hands.

“Seems like your second-in-command is far more perceptive than you are, Tatsuma.” Takasugi smirked. “Too bad she’s wasting her potential. Although it’s not too late to reconsider.”

“I’m afraid I see no profit in terrorism.” Mutsu scorned, kicking Sakamoto’s palms off her while he rolled to the side in relief. “Besides, who knows what will become of this idiot, should he stay unsupervised long enough?”

“Fair enough. Although you should take care of yourself. Idiocy is highly contagious.” He said, lightly stepping over a writhing Sakamoto.

“After all these years, I’d like to think I’ve grown immune.” She replied, following his lead.

“There are no bigger idiots than the ones who claim they aren’t. Mix it up with someone like them once, and it’s already too late to go back.”

“Experience speaking?”

“Something like that.”

“Gu-guys, can you not have this discussion on top of me?” Sakamoto begged, trying his best to retract his hands.

With a light chuckle, Takasugi obliged to his friend’s wishes, turning his back on the two of them. “Well then. I’ll be taking my leave now.”

“Oi, Takasugi, don’t forget about what I said! Make sure to-Ouch!”

Once he’d distanced himself from the scene, Takasugi stopped a final time to look over his shoulder. Mutsu kept making use of Sakamoto’s hair as if it were a mop, sweeping just about every piece of dirt, until his pleas disappeared along with the two of them behind the crowds.

“It really was good seeing you, Tatsuma.” Takasugi smiled, his steps heavier than before as he marched in the opposite direction.

“I thought you said you’d buy some smoke before we take off, not harvest an entire field yourself.”

At the sound of the door opening, you set your book down. You’d lost count of how many pages you’d flipped up until Takasugi decided to make it back to his room. For all you knew, hours, or even days had gone by. There was no real telling in the vastness of space. Everything moved at its own pace.

Still, what he did was unforgivable. Subjecting you to the dullness of going through the same book over and over again, while he was out there, most likely caught up in some incredibly fun story you’d missed on.

“If only.” Takasugi stated in a dry tone, closing the door behind him. “Instead, I was made into a messenger by an old friend of yours.”

“An old friend of mine?” You repeated, propping your jaw against your elbows.

There were little to no candidates for him to meet up in space. With the majority of your friends being either at odds with him or straight up unable to afford such a trip, the obvious answer would be Sakamoto. Not because he didn’t belong in either category, but because on a day like this, he was the only with a reason to seek you out.

Your suspicions were confirmed the moment Takasugi presented you with a rather hefty looking box, one that he set onto the floor before making his way towards the window. This definitely was the work of your childhood friend, you concluded, though you couldn’t resist playing dumb with your guesses.

“Hmm… could it be Gintoki?”

A thin cloud of smoke spiraled from his direction, the silence serving as response.

“Zura then?”

More smoke.

“Nobume?” You insisted.

“Just how many old friends do you have?” He stated, rather than asked.

“Then… Shige Shige?”

“Since when you’ve gotten friendly with the Shogun?”

“Since you’ve been taking hours to shop for tobacco.” You taunted, finding enjoyment in your little back and forth.

“Charming.” He smirked, at last turning around. “Tatsuma asked me to bring this to you.”

“Then I guess I have no right to nag you any longer. I wonder what it is!” You gleefully exclaimed in a singing voice, while your hands fumbled with the tape.

Ever since the two of you were mere brats back in Tosa, you’d come up with this weird tradition of finding the wackiest birthday gifts for one another. From vagina scented candles for your eleventh birthday, to a calendar full of inappropriate seasonal pictures of Tamo-san for his twelfth, each year the competition grew more severe than before, with nothing but the sky serving as the limit.

Your anticipation grew bigger over each tape that came off, and you could tell you weren’t the only one. A keen orb of green kept following your every movement while its owner timed each step of his with another puff of smoke. To be fair, he was doing a great job concealing his interest, and if it weren’t for his pipe nearly dropping off his lips at the sight of your gift, then you wouldn’t have known.

Admittedly, it took more time for you to realize what the item in hand was, than for Takasugi to recover from his rapid coughing. The two circular objects at the base, the pink colored mushroomy tip, the vein-like lines engraved all around… Judging by its size alone, it resembled more that of a greatsword than of a sex toy. It was ridiculously big, both in length and girth.

“Is that…?” Takasugi asked, not daring to finish his question.

Picking the dildo up, you failed close your palms around its head. This was definitely not meant for humans, or, at least, not one of your physique.

“I lost.” You admitted, realizing there was no way to ever surpass him now. “I actually lost.”

“There is a note.” He pointed back inside the box.

“Oh? You are right. Let’s see,” you paused to unfold the paper, “ ‘Dear Y/N, I hope this letter finds you in good health, and I wish you a very happy birth-Autumn, from the bottom of my heart.” You quickly glanced up at Takasugi, though he didn’t say a word.

That was a close one!

“That’s quite courteous of him!” You awkwardly chuckled.

“Anyways, ‘In the past month we managed to expand our business in Rakuyo, and this is one of our first prototypes. With the majority of Yato warriors scattered around the galaxy, their women tend to wallow in loneliness and frustration. We hope that with time, they can learn to open their hearts, along with their legs to us.’ Typical Tatsuma.” You chuckled, while Takasugi scoffed.

“Hmm, according to him, its name is ‘Master Sword 69’ and-oh, the tip is detachable and, if you insert batteries, it also works as a foot massager! That’s thoughtful.”

“Is that all?” He sighed.

You unfolded the rest of the letter, finding a postscript right at the end.

“‘P.S. I sincerely hope Takasugi is not as big of a bore in bed as he used to be.’ Oh, Tatsuma.” You giggled, unable to contain yourself. “You haven’t changed one bit.”

“Idiots never change.” Takasugi mumbled as he returned to the window.

“But Shinsuke, what’s that thing he said about you being a boring lover? Is there anything I should know?” You asked, not bothering to suppress your amusement.

“Nothing in particular.”

“Oh come on, I bet there is a great story behind this.” You insisted, only to be treated with more silence.

You didn’t need to take a look at his face to know he was sulking. With his eye narrowing to a slit, and the pouty expression of his lips, you’d grown plenty familiar with that side of his. What others saw as menacing, you only saw as absolutely adorable, to the point of you refusing to spend another minute apart.

You really had missed him.

“It’s fine. No need to tell me.” You mumbled as you pressed your head against the nape of his neck.

He was insistent on facing the opposite direction, but you didn’t mind. As long as he gave you the freedom to wrap your arms around his torso, to take in on his wonderfully intoxicating scent, to pepper every inch of bare skin you could find in kisses, then it was all fine by you.

“You plan on using that?” He eventually asked, huffing some of the smoke your way.

“Not if I can help it. I’d still choose to use you over anyone and anything else.” You cooed, planting your lips near the shell of his ear. “Only you can make me feel this way.”

“And what would that way be?” He asked in a gentler tone.

“Just, you know.” You left a peck upon his cheek. “The best kind of way.”

Although he didn’t mean for you to see it, a tiny smile broke through his grave expression as he caved in to your touch. That was Takasugi for you. No matter the sharpness of his eye, and the shrewdness of his words, the way his free hand cupped over your own revealed all you needed to know. From the moment you first took hold of each other, to this moment here, he remained as enamored with you as he was back then.

The two of you stayed like that for quite a while, until Takasugi drew his kiseru away from his lips to store it inside his clothes.

“What do you want?” He asked, circling his thumb over your knuckles.

“Hmm?” You tilted your head.

“Is there anything you want for your birthday?”

“You knew?” You yelped, letting go of him at once.

“You take me for an idiot?” Takasugi inquired as he turned around.

“….No.” You sighed. Switching out ‘birthday’ for autumn had really done it.

It wasn’t as if you actively tried to keep your birthday a secret, but with the war and him turning to terrorism, there was never really an appropriate moment to mention it. You couldn’t simply show up one day with cake and balloons and surprise your own self, and being the one to casually announce it didn’t feel quite right either. In the end, you pushed this occasion to the back of your brain, the sole reminder of which became Sakamoto’s annual presents.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked with genuine concern.

“It’s not that I didn’t want to, it’s just that,” you lowered your head “I didn’t want to weigh you down with another responsibility. I know how exhausting everything is for you, I see it every single day when you collapse in bed without saying a word. I don’t want to be the one to add more to that, nor do I wish to pressure you into buying me a gift or pulling a surprise on me. Just getting to spend my every day with you is enough for me.”

“Y/N.” His voice commanded. “Our lives so far have been filled with more sorrows than I care to count. My eye has seen more horrors than I wish to remember. Do you really think that your birthday would add to either?”

“N-no…” You admitted, shying away from his gaze.

“Then I find no reason for you to be keeping that from me. We’ve each carried the other’s sorrows long enough. Let us carry a joy for once.”

He was right. If only you’d just mentioned it to him before, then you wouldn’t have to embarrass yourself like this in front of him. It was only right that he knew, especially when you’d never missed the chance to surprise him on his own birthday.

“So tell me. Is there anything you want?” Takasugi asked again.

“Are you serious about the ‘anything’ part?” You smiled in mischief, quickly snapping out of your own dejection.

Arching an eyebrow, Takasugi took a step closer until you stood eye to eye. You couldn’t tell whether he was trying to read your mind or intimidate you into giving up on your idea, but either way, you both knew it was too late for him to go back on his offer.

“You’ll really do anything I ask?”

He was most likely regretting ever suggesting that, though he didn’t show it. Instead, he merely nodded, perhaps his curiosity winning him over a second time.

“…Sure.”

This was all the confirmation you needed. “Then, follow me!”

“What kind of wish fulfilling involves a kitchen?” Takasugi asked the second you set foot in the ship’s kitchen.

Out of all the shenanigans you’d gotten him mixed up in, out of every bad idea he’d suffered through, this one would come to top them all. But it was your birthday, and he’d been so generous as to present you with an once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that you weren’t too keen on brushing off. Even if he protested, even if he tried to claw his way out, you’d make sure that by the time the two of you left the room, it’d be with your objective in hand; a cake.

“Shinsuke, what is the first thing you think about when you hear the word ‘birthday’?”

“Death.” He bluntly stated. “It’s a reminder that your time is running out.”

“Weren’t you the one who spoke against sharing nothing but sorrows?” You argued in disbelief. It wasn’t unusual for him to be grim, but that was beyond your expectations. “Let’s just skip to the point. A birthday without cake is no birthday at all.”

His expression had turned completely vacant, to the point of you being able to hear imaginary crickets chirping in the background.

“My wish is for you to bake me a cake!”

Even more chirping.

Had he not heard you? You weren’t too sure about that, though once he turned to the door, you realized he’d not only been listening to your every word, but was already planning his escape.

“You said you’d-ugh, do anything! You can’t-ugh, leave!” You exclaimed as you threw yourself to the door, blocking the exit with your body.

Just like he had no intention of honoring his word, you had no intention of letting him go either. A direct confrontation would result in your defeat, but when you managed to get hold of the door’s key, there was little he could do. It was game over. At least for now.

“You know, this won’t be enough to stop me.” Takasugi sneered, watching as you stuffed the key inside your kimono. “There are many ways for me to get that key back.”

“I’d like to see you try. The only way outside these holy grounds is through my satisfaction.”

At your declaration, he couldn’t help but quirk an eyebrow.

“Now, let’s get to work!” You said as you paced further inside the room, a groaning Takasugi following closely.

Truth is, you’d only been in the kitchen a handful times before. The Kiheitai already possessed designated personnel to handle everyone’s meals, and unless either of you wanted to snack on something specific, -namely, Takasugi on his beloved beverage- there was no need to spend any time in here, meaning, you had no idea where to find anything.

Starting with the fridge seemed like a reasonable idea, you thought to yourself as you tied your hair into a high ponytail. Eggs, butter and, thankfully, heavy cream. You laid everything on top of the counter before making your way around the drawers, checking the final ingredients off your list. So far, so good.

The real struggle came with finding the appropriate utensils. Bowls and cutlery were easy enough to locate. You even got yourself a light-pink apron in the process, yet no matter how hard you looked, the mixer was nowhere to be found.

“Where is the mixer?” You asked once you’d checked just about every cabinet.

“How am I supposed to know? What kind of faction do you think I’m running?” He snapped, refusing to help in the slightest.

Disappointed, you were about to call it quits when you remembered seeing a whisk somewhere in there, which wasn’t quite the same, but if a certain glaring samurai were to assist, nothing was impossible.

“There’s a whisk!” You announced, presenting it to him.

More cricket sounds. He looked at it as if he’d never seen another.

“You really haven’t cooked anything in your life, have you?”

“I have.” He lied.

“What was it?” You crossed your arms over your chest.

“Onigiri.”

“That doesn’t make you any less of a culinary virgin, Shinsuke. I bet Zura was the one to handle the majority of the work while all you did was boss him around.” You accused, waving the whisk at his face.

“Not a lie.” He smirked.

“It’s a wonder people follow you when you refuse to get your hands dirty.” You mumbled. “But fear not! Today, your cherry gets popped. As long as we are in here, you are no Kiheitai leader, but a rookie whose wish is my com-no, my wish is your command” You corrected. “Understood?”

Although evidently irritated, Takasugi ended up agreeing to your suggestion, going so far as to accept the whisk from your hands.

“Perhaps you could call me senpai while you’re at it-”

“Not a chance, birthday girl.” He interrupted.

“Fine, fine. Let’s start with the base.”

One by one, you tossed the ingredients in the bowl, while he mixed them together with just about zero enthusiasm. He was such a handful!

“You know, it will take forever if you do it like that.” You commented, slipping behind his back and then claiming his hand with yours. “Let me show you.”

Propping your chin on top of his shoulder, you started to vigorously shake his hand back and forth around the bowl, making sure that everything got mixed thoroughly.

“If you don’t do it this way, the ingredients won’t mesh well together and there will be lumps of flour.” You explained, unaware of how rather than paying attention to your words, Takasugi kept staring down your lips.

As he got the hang of it, his hand began moving on its own. “That’s it! Keep it up, and-”

Before you could finish your sentence, you took notice in how close the two of you were. With your bodies pressed together and his lips curling into a lazy smile, you forgot all about what it was that you wanted to say.

“Y-you can handle things from here.” You stuttered, pulling yourself away. “I’ll go bring the pan.”

Even after all these years, it was so easy for him to get under your skin. One look of his, and your mind was already filling up with intrusive thoughts that involved him using his hands on something else. He’d always been skilled with his fingers, be it at fighting, cooking, or…

Get your shit together, you scolded yourself, repeatedly patting your palms flat against your burning cheeks.

“What’s taking you so long?” His voice queried from the other side of the room.

“Coming!”

Once the pan was in the oven and the timer set, the time for the the filling came. Neither your supplies nor your skills allowed much room for creativity and so, you decided to keep things simple. Some heavy cream and sugar would do just fine, but even for that, his help was needed.

“Can you do this for me?” You brought a clean bowl forth.

“Is that a question, or a command?” Takasugi asked.

“A little bit of both.” You smiled as he took the bowl from your hands. “Do it harder than before. You’ll know it’s ready when peaks start to form.”

It was nice to see him take things more seriously. For someone who was fixed on destroying the world, to be baking cakes certainly was out of character, but at the same time, the image felt somewhat natural to you.

Back when the outcome of the war had yet to be defined, and the two of you had the freedom to dream, you’d pictured such a life countless of times. Instead of sneaking around between stranded beaches and hollow willow trees, you’d be greeting each other under the same roof. He’d nag about the different ways Gintoki -or another of his subordinates- got on his nerves that day, while you’d be setting the table, welcoming his every complaint with a warm smile.

Then after you’d finish dining, you’d move onto the couch under the pretense of watching some crappy show none of you cared about, just he could snake his arm around your shoulders. And at the first yawn, you’d lay side by side on the same bed where you’d be free to cradle his face in your hands and fawn over how beautiful your reflection appeared in his emerald green eyes. You’d whisper ‘I love you’s’ to each other with no fear for tomorrow, knowing that this life would not be taken away from you.

The Takasugi in front of you resembled that of your dreams a lot, except this one kept hissing in frustration at his sleeves. No matter how many times he rolled them out of the way, they insisted to fall inside the bowl, cutting his movements short. With a smile, you placed your hand on top of his. This version of him was perfect enough already.

“Need some help?” You teased, lifting one of his sleeves out of the way.

“I’m fine.” He didn’t sound convincing in the slightest.

You chuckled at his refusal. He was always like that, as if it would kill for him to receive the aid of anyone. If he could bring this world down by himself, then you had no doubt, he’d choose to do that without speaking to another soul. Be it his burdens or his sleeves, unless you forcefully lifted them for him, then he’d insist on doing things the hard way.

With some his frustration evaporating, Takasugi managed to bring the cream to its appropriate state; not too fluffy and not too thick either. You let go off his sleeves and he let go of the whisk, turning the bowl around so to inspect it properly.

“Looks good.” He deducted.

You nodded in agreement. “Let’s see…”

Dipping the tip of a spoon in, you took a taste of your creation. He really had a knack for this. It tasted wonderful!

“Mmm, it’s sweet.” You exclaimed, licking it clean. “Want some?”

For a moment, you saw him contemplate his answer before reaching out. You took it as an invitation, and so you dipped the spoon back in, though you never had the chance to deliver it. Instead, your hand was caught mid-air by his, with your unsuspecting lips falling victim to his own. You gasped, nearly letting go off the spoon as you closed your eyes, finding a taste far more wonderful than any cream you’d ever tasted.

“Indeed.” He breathed. “Very sweet.”

With his fingers pressing at your wrist, Takasugi pulled you closer, until you landed in his arms, and until the thought of holding onto that stupid spoon vanished behind a loud clang. He pressed a kiss upon your lips and then you pressed another, your tongues tugging and swirling in imperfect sync, as you both felt the heat rise in between your bodies. You wanted more, and he was more than willing to take from you.

It was only when you felt his palms dropping to your bum that you realized what he was trying to do. That bastard was way too damn good at this.

“Seducing me won’t work.” You whispered and he chuckled, not at your words, but at how you couldn’t bring yourself to pull away from him.

“It won’t?” He taunted, fully aware of the answer. Whatever it was that he was doing, you had no power to resist.

Without breaking apart from your mouth, Takasugi carried you all the way towards the closest unoccupied flat surface he could find. A cold sensation trickled down your spine as you made contact with the hard metal. Not in a million years would you ever think that you’d be doing this with him, yet there you were, spreading your legs wide open for him to nest in between.

His arm remained hooked around your waist when all of a sudden you felt him stop. You opened your eyes along with your lips, sheepishly staring at him with nothing but desire, of which he took advantage. His thumb trailed the outline of your jawline before swiping over your bottom lip. Without thinking twice, you puckered up your lips against it, pressing a peck so gentle as his smile. God, he was so beautiful in that moment, words he stole right out your mouth.

Letting go of you completely, Takasugi lowered himself until his knees met with the floor and the tips of his fingers with your thighs. You glanced down at him, watching as he balanced your knees upon his shoulders, his own gaze solely fixated at your entrance.

“Wh-what are you doing?” You asked, your voice coming out like a croak.

“You wanted to order me around, did you not?” His breath tickled as he moved his head closer. “Look where my hands are now, Y/N.” He demanded, squeezing at your skin. “And my lips.” He went on, leaving each thigh with a kiss. “And my tongue.”

A sharp inhale got caught up in your throat as you felt his wet tongue lap over your clothed slit, the feeling only amplified by the way his eye bore into yours.

“Go ahead and order.” He mumbled, running his tongue along your lips, lest you weren’t convinced already. “How should I use them?”

You had a hard time distinguishing between dream and reality right now. While he always made sure you got to have as much fun as he did, he’d never been this accommodating before, and in a semi-public space, least of all places. You barely believed in your eyes, but then again, the dripping sensation between your legs told no lies. This was all very much reality, and you wouldn’t let it go to waste.

“D-do that again,” you stammered. “I like it when you tease me.”

A faint chuckle followed your bashful confession, it feeding directly into his pride.

In less than a heartbeat, Takasugi complied with your demand. With his fingers squeezing lower, his mouth pressing firmer, and his tongue languidly moving across every inch of your folds, he left no spot untouched. You tried to look down, though your apron stood in the way of getting a clear view. All you saw was a head of purple peak underneath, and that certainly was not enough.

“I wanna see.”

Hands slid around your waist, his eye being the first to undress your body. One by one, the knots of your kimono and apron came undone, bringing both fabrics to simply drape over your bare figure, a sight not even he could resist.

Rather than going back down, his fingers snuck past your garment and onto your breast, trailing your hardened peak all the way to the soft curve of your skin. You smiled. After all, you loved that kind of attention from him.

Once he’d had enough, he returned to his knees, both of you having gained sufficiently better view of each other. You placed your feet atop his shoulders, prodding him to get back into business. A single finger hooked around the elastic of your underwear, with him seeking confirmation in your features. Perhaps you could get used to this compliant side of his.

“Take them off.” You instructed without hesitation, wiggling your hips to accommodate him.

The moment he rid of that final restraint, Takasugi plunged forward, his impatience showing every step of the way. If it were any other occasion, he’d have about zero qualm to push you down and take you however he pleased, but for now, you could tell he was doing his absolute best to remain tame for the sake of honoring his word.

Tentatively, he rolled his tongue outside his mouth and onto your entrance, his fingers spreading your lips for him to pepper the area with short kitten licks. You sighed, little by little feeling your clit swelling up under his touch. This was nowhere near what you’d imagined when you first walked ins that kitchen, but now, it was everything you craved.

“Give me your hand.” You asked, extending your own in his direction.

His hand found yours midway as he directed his attention to your fingers. You weren’t too sure whether he’d catch your drift or not, but it was worth a try. With your index, you traced the inside of his palm in a straight line, pressing firmly at the end of it before repeating the same gesture from the top. Not too gentle, but not too rough either. Just how you wanted to be touched.

In the same manner your finger brushed his skin, his flattened tongue came to glide over your slit only to stop short at your clit, following the same route all over again. For a second time, you sighed, your arousal gradually building with each stroke. The familiarity between you allowed no room for mistakes; he knew exactly what you needed.

“You taste better than any damn cake in this world.” Takasugi commented for the first time in a while, closing his lips over your clit.

“D-don’t insult our cake!” You felt him smirk at your objection, his teeth barely grazing over your sensitive spot, be it enough to make you moan.

“Want me to go a bit harder?” He asked, lazily swirling over your clit.

“I suppose you can.” You answered, hiding your embarrassment behind a pout. Years later and his effect on you had not worn off.

Lacing his fingers with yours, Takasugi began to follow a pattern of his own, the kind to set all your pretty sounds free. With his one hand rubbing at your thigh, he made sure you got to watch your clit disappear into his mouth, each kiss of his leaving it wetter than the previous one.

“F-fuck…”

You could feel every bump of his tongue massage your cluster of nerves, the warmth of his mouth making it feel as if he was attempting to rekindle a fire in you, one that had all but been extinguished. He wanted you to burn, just so he could burn with you. Just so you could feel every single emotion his tongue failed to describe engraved upon your body.

In no time, he had you moaning nothing but the sound of his name, occasionally no more than the sharp consonants of his initials coming out. It felt so good. Too good. He kept flicking and curling, while you kept tossing and turning, your hips squirming away while your fingers gripped closer, at his fingers, at his hair, anywhere you could find, anywhere you could anchor in.

Muffled sounds mixed in with your cries, as Takasugi kept gushing over you, his saliva and your fluids streaming down your throbbing holes. But the lewd sound of your squelching under his tongue, came only second to the far more obscene expression of his face. He looked so messed up, with his disheveled hair and bandages dropping over his forehead. So messed up that part of you couldn’t help but want to mess him up even further.

You weren’t even thinking straight anymore. Your judgment was completely clouded by primal instincts and sheer pleasure. All you knew was that you wanted him, that you’d spent every breathing moment of your life wanting and yearning for him, even when he’d always been by your side. You wanted to never let go, you wanted to become one with him. Now, and forever.

Your grip on his hair relaxed enough for you to push a loose strip of bandage that blocked his vision behind his ear. He hummed in response, his gratitude pouring in the way his hand held yours ever so lovingly. You tried your best to keep your gaze fixed on his, though the second he slid in one of his fingers, you had no choice but to fall back, your hips solely jerking forward.

You cursed again and again, until no word that made sense came out of your mouth, until the room began to spin, the bright kitchen lights and the buzzing of a bell filled in the void of your eyes. Briefly, you felt him pull out of you, his lips insisting on placing a series of tender kisses along your opening and thighs as if he were the one thanking you.

“Y/N.” The hoarse sound of your name fell on deaf ears. You were too preoccupied with your own bliss to answer him.

“Aren’t you going to get that?” He went on.

“Get… that?” Unwillingly you opened your eyes, completely clueless over what he was talking about.

The ringing had all but ceased inside your head, when you realized it had nothing to do with your orgasm. The cake!

In an instant, you flew to the other side of the kitchen, one hand attempting to piece your outfit together, while the other fumbled around the oven’s buttons. Were you a minute late, the cake would’ve gotten burnt to a crisp, and your entire struggle would’ve been over nothing.

“Couldn’t you handle it?” You protested, throwing a punch in the air as he approached you.

“Hmm? I don’t recall receiving such command.” He smirked, capturing each of your fists in his own before they got the chance to land.

“You!” You grunted and he grinned, finding your annoyed expression infinitely amusing, though perhaps, the funniest thing about this scene was the way a half-naked woman retaliated against him in the middle of a kitchen floor.

Maybe if you saw things from that perspective, you’d also be laughing, but for now, all you were was severely distracted and unsure of how to proceed. Your mind kept telling you to get things in order and finish with your cake’s assembly, while another less prim and proper part of you, kept urging you to jump his bones on the spot. Curse you, Takasugi Shinsuke and your stupidly stupid smile.

“Shall we wrap things up, or will you insist on attacking me?” He asked, his chin still glistening with your juices.

“…Get yourself cleaned up first.” You pulled your hands off him in defeat. There was no point of keeping this up.

After the two of you went back to appearing somewhat presentable, you explained how the cake needed some time to cool down, and how in the meantime, you could prepare additional toppings, such as those strawberries you’d previously located in the refrigerator.

Surprisingly enough, he seemed eager enough to assist without you having to ask. Where knives were involved, he found himself right in his element.

In no time, Takasugi made quick work of the strawberries, slicing them into smaller pieces, while all there was left for you to do was gawk at his broad shoulders. He seemed so focused, that even when you paraded back and forth, even when you forced a dry cough here and there, he paid no mind. Just what were you doing?

“What are you doing?” He read through your mind.

No answer could justify your actions. It was because of you that he’d found himself in this situation, but it was because of him that the insistent sensation between your legs wouldn’t go away. If your thoughts were that easy for him to read, then he’d know firsthand of how you felt right now.

His fingers had no reason to be busied with cutlery and fruit. They belonged around your hips, holding you down, lest you arch your back too high.

Be it against the counter, the table, the floor, or even the sink, you longed to see that familiar glint in his eye, the one he only showed when sheathed deep within your heat. You wanted the only sound in the room to be that of his husky breathing evolving to a singular growl right before he spilled in your guts.

If he could really read your mind, he’d know of all that. He’d know of how much you wanted him and how maddening that was. Screw Yato women, what were you supposed to do about your own frustration?

“You know, we’ll probably be in here a while longer.” You suggested, moving up behind him.

“And?” Amusement dripped of his voice as you rest your chin upon his shoulder.

“And we could have some more fun to ourselves.” Your arms looped around his exposed chest. “We’ve never done it in here before.”

Despite him continuously driving the knife down the cutting board, his pace had slowed down. He could act disinterested all he wanted, but his actions suggested otherwise.

“And?”

“And,” you lowered your hands round his nether area, elated to feel his hardened cock poking at your fingertips. “I can tell I’m not the only one excited by the prospect.”

“And?” He hummed, having let go of the knife.

“And I’m sick of playing games.” Your lips tugged at his earlobe, while you kept on palming him.

“Weren’t you the one who wanted to play house?”

“I was,” you admitted, “but now, I want you.”

“You grow more shameless with each year.” He accused, flaunting the kind of smirk you wanted to bite right off his lips.

“Can you blame me?”

“I guess not.”

One step was all it took for you to be pressed against the counter, the soft sensation of his mouth overriding the sharp edges of the drawers. It felt uncomfortable and rushed, but you couldn’t care less. The way his tongue wet over your bottom lip was enough to soothe the pain, enough to quell the thirst you had for him.

It’d always been like this. Every time Takasugi kissed you, you were brought back to that moonless summer night by the coastline, the place where you’d first gotten taste of each other. It felt as desperate as the sea’s foam clinging to the shore, and as certain as the promise of the incoming tide, liberating and drowning you all at once.

Deft fingers came digging at your waist, barely undoing each garment for him to ravish what was rightfully his. You helped him remove the kimono, though when it came to the apron, he didn’t allow for you to take it off. He loved the sight of you in it, but more importantly, he loved the fantasy of normality that came along, the manifestation of what your lives could have been.

Enveloped in his warm embrace, you took the opportunity to run your fingers over his skin, trailing them down his chest, his abdomen, and eventually, his crotch. He’d been in such hurry to leave that he’d neglected to wear an underwear. It was a wonder he’d never gotten arrested for public indecency, you mentally chuckled, wrapping your fingers around his shaft and then slowly pumping him.

A hand caressed your own, before moving onto your chest, drawing a tit outside the apron’s coverage. His hot breath replaced his fingers as he dipped forward, sucking your nipple right into his mouth. The sensation made your grip tighten, inducing a soft sigh to fall against your skin. He glanced at you, the green in his eye hazy while he moved higher to leave his mark, making sure that today would be more than just a memory to reminisce.

You dragged him closer, driving his cock to your slicked entrance. Playing around was nice, but definitely not as nice as being filled, a sentiment he seemed to share.

Takasugi placed his hands below your thighs, giving you little time to react when he lifted you up. You gasped, quickly knitting your fingers behind his neck to support yourself, while he held you close, shoving your hips together.

“Where to?” He rasped in between heavy breathing.

“Right here.” The second you gave your answer, you pressed your lips against his, unwilling to stray from his touch any longer.

With great care, he sat you atop the counter, his palms prompting your legs to dangle over the edge for him to position himself. You backed away ever so slightly, keen on watching his thumb continuously swipe over the head and your clit up until he allowed your lips to swallow him. You bit a moan back and he smiled, slowly pushing deeper, replacing your neediness with ecstatic pleasure.

“This is much better than Master Sword 69.” You jested, forcing him to shush you with his mouth, lest he let himself laugh at such a horrid joke.

You felt his tongue roll around yours in sync with his hips, the firm sensation of his pubic bone pressuring your clit whenever he slammed his cock inside. You moaned, nibbling at his lips while he grunted, digging his fingers at your hips to push you further against his thrusts. You loved it when he handled you like that, though you both knew he wouldn’t last much at this pace.

Eventually he slowed down, resorting to merely sheathing himself within your folds. He was already throbbing, his seed begging to spill inside your womb. You rocked your hips a tiny bit and he pulled away halfway before sinking back in, unable to truly part from you. Panted breaths mixed in with soft chuckles, the two of you finding great amusement in how naturally your bodies were drawn together, palpitating with desire.

“I can’t believe I’m yours.” You breathed, ghosting your lips over his. “Even after all these years, I can’t believe I was fortunate enough to have met you.”

“Hopefully you got your money’s worth.” He smirked.

“You make it sound as if you are a prostitute.”

Takasugi rolled his eye, returning his attention to your lower half. Even when he was balls deep inside, you couldn’t help but poke fun at him. Getting on his nerves never got old.

Faster than before, his hips snapped against yours, as if he was trying to fuck you into becoming less of a vixen. You paid no mind to that, fully enjoying the way his cock rammed in your sweet spot, until all of a sudden, sharp pain had you yelping. He stopped, a look of concern spreading to his features while you rubbed at the back of your skull. He’d gone so hard that you’d banged your head against the cabinet.

“So clumsy.” He mumbled, guising his mistake as yours.

You were about to complain when he started moving again, only this time, rather than feeling the cold metal boring into your head, you only felt the softness of his palm shielding you from harm.

“Shut up.” He hushed before you had the chance to say a single word.

Not that you really could, either. With how hard he pounded you, the only sounds you could make were whimpers, little by little being driven over the edge.

Stars still flickered past your shut eyelids as you used your last bit of energy to embrace him, propping your chin upon your arm. His hands searched for support against the counter while he began to fall out of rhythm, his thrusts leading to him cumming deep within your walls.

“Happy Birthday, Y/N.” He was still throbbing as he said those three little words, words you never knew how much you longed to hear.

All these birthdays had gone by without a single gift or wish, but even if you could receive any gift, even if you could make any wish, you’d still choose him, you’d still wish for only him. In the end, all those forgotten gifts and wishes amounted to nothing. What was most important to you was right there in your arms. The most precious thing in life, your partner, your lover, your…family.

“Can you keep being my gift?” You asked, nuzzling in his shoulder. “Next year, and the year after that, can I keep asking for you?”

Takasugi spared no answer. Not because he didn’t want to, but because part of him knew there was always a possibility that the very first birthday you’d spent together might as well be the last he’d ever get to celebrate with you. And so he said nothing, choosing to splay his hands over your lower back in a tender motion.

“I don’t want anything other than you. There’s no one else I’d rather share such moments with, so can you please keep on being my present?” You insisted, demanding for a lie he was not too keen on giving.

A sigh heaved up his chest as he slowly moved away from you. “Quit being this mushy.” He mumbled, turning around.

Part of his cum poured down your thighs as you propped yourself against the counter.

Maybe you shouldn’t have said that. Maybe you shouldn’t make him commit to a promise he’d be unable to honor, but then again you had a hard time holding back when you loved him this much. The mere idea of spending a birthday on your own gave you goosebumps. It had to be with him. No matter what, he had to be there.

Takasugi returned a minute later with a couple of paper towels in hand. He took in your sour expression, realizing you probably took this short time to reflect upon the future, one you weren’t guaranteed to share.

“You’re such a mess.” He sank to his knees, gently cleaning after the mess he made between your legs.

“As long as I can help it, I promise.”

Following the rather eventful time you spent inside the kitchen, you’d made sure not to leave any traces of your little adventure behind, while he’d made sure to remind you of how easy it’d been for him to claim the key. You didn’t even notice he’d taken it from you until it was time to head out. That sly piece of…

But, you couldn’t complain. Not about his mocking, and not about his refusal to help clean either. The cake turned to be a great success, both in taste and appearance, and you could now finally reap your rewards in the comfort of his bedroom. Bit by bit the platter emptied with only about half the dessert remaining. You hadn’t eaten a single thing all day long, and the unscheduled ‘work-out’ had taken its toll on your poor legs.

Once the two of you finished eating, Takasugi brought forth his shamisen to tune it, while you fished out a piece of paper and a pen to write Sakamoto a letter. There was so much you wanted to tell him. About your trips, the Kiheitai, and of course, about Takasugi.

Outside your letters, Sakamoto never got to hear a word about or from his old friend. You’d seen Takasugi scribble some words, but they never reached his ears. All were torn into confetti.

You knew how much he missed the past. How deep his longing to meet with his friends again ran within his heart and how hard it was for him to express his innermost feelings. You knew all that, and although there was nothing you could do in order to help bridge the gap, letting Sakamoto know of his friend’s well-being wouldn’t harm. Behind his back, or not.

“What are you smiling about?” He asked without lifting head from his instrument.

“Nothing in particular. Just disproving some false claims.” You hid a dry cough behind your fist as you begun to read. “Dear Tatsuma, all’s well here, thanks for asking. I hope your business keeps expanding and you don’t get thrown out in space by Mutsu again. Your gift brought me great joy, but don’t assume I’ll let you win that easily. P.S. Don’t underestimate Shinsuke. He is an incredible lover and really great at-”

Before you could finish reading the supposed letter, Takasugi grabbed it from within your grasp, only to scoff at the lack of ink.

“You are incorrigible” He returned the paper to the table while you chuckled, earning yourself another of his infamous glares.

Rather than picking up the pen, you opted for the spoon, digging back in the remaining piece you’d left in your plate. “It’s true though. You really are an incredible lover and great at cooking.” You swallowed. “You know, it’s not too late to change career, Shinsuke.”

He shrugged, tightening and then striking one of the strings. “I’ll consider leaving the world with just a stove.”

“So what did you think of today? What was it like to make something from scratch?”

“Harder than watching Zura make onigiri.”

You laughed and he smiled just a little bit, the sound of his playing as mellow as his features.

“You’d rather just sit back and watch?”

He nodded, first setting his tuner and then his shamisen to the side. An invitation for you to scoot closer, one that you gracefully accepted by laying your head against his shoulder. For someone who lifted such a heavy burden, he surely felt lightweight as a pillow.

“Let’s just say I wouldn’t mind seeing you in an apron more often.” Takasugi said, picking up his own plate. He was never big on sweets, but he’d at the very least eaten half of what you’d served.

“Makes you resemble a proper housewife.” He smirked after shoving a bite.

“Calling me a housewife when you haven’t even put a ring on my finger.”

Your joke failed to land any chuckles apart from your own. If anything, it had the opposite effect on him, with his expression instantly turning sour.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that-”

“Except you did.” He sighed, dropping the plate along with the spoon back on the table, while you sat up to look at him.

“Y/N, I’ve halfed-assed many things in life, us included. Years later, and I still don’t know how to do this properly. But what I do know is that when we share a bed together, when we share what little’s left of our souls with one another, when we share a life, then that makes us as good as married, does it not?”

At the sound of his words, you felt your cheeks radiating with heat. How could he speak in such nonchalant way? He’d never called you so much as a girlfriend or a partner, and now went around addressing you as a wife? His wife?

“What? Scared to be called a terrorist’s wife?” Takasugi taunted.

“Terrorist? What terrorist?” You brought a hand onto your forehead, pretending to look around. “I see nothing but a samurai, and that would make me into a samurai’s wife.”

Your answer seemed to satisfy him enough to crack a smile, one that you eagerly returned.

“An idiot, a terrorist, and a samurai. I’ve been called all three in just one day.” He absently trailed over your fingers with his own.

“Only an idiotic samurai could ever turn to terrorism. To me, Shinsuke, you are the same boy I met back then. The one who’s unafraid to raise his sword in the name of a lost cause.”

You meant to assure him, but he only ended up snickering in amusement.

“I really haven’t changed, have I?”

“Not at all.” You expressed with a nod of your head. “But If I may say so myself, you’ve gotten a tad grumpier. It’s as if your grumpiness increases with each passing year.”

His amusement turned to irritation in a moment’s notice, though that did not dishearten you from making further comments. It was always amusing to see how far his tolerance would reach, but when he finally boiled over, your sounds turned muffled.

“Shut up and eat the damn cake already.” Takasugi huffed, having shoved a spoonful of cake in between your parted lips.

Once he felt you swallowing, he pulled his hand away, only for your mouth to follow it, seeking to be fed again. He glared and you insisted, drawing out a long ‘A’ sound until he caved in.

“Such a lousy wife.”

The next morning found you alone in bed, with Takasugi having seemingly disappeared from your side. This was hardly unlike him. Come morning light, he always had this tendency of running off with Bansai, handling the kind of issues you failed to wrap your head around. Can’t be helped.

Your eyes shut once more, refusing to open up just yet. It was so early and there was nothing for you to do, other than to spend another dull day in space. Or at least, that’s what you thought until you stretched your hand onto the pillow beside you, your fingers meeting with the cold roundness of a foreign object; a ring of gold.

“Such a lousy husband.” You exclaimed with a smile brighter than the sun itself.

[worms-i-think]

Artem’s Personal Story, Chapter 4.

I decided to be a geek and write down all my thoughts in a notebook before compiling them here :) HEAVY spoiler warning as I will just say everything that happens as it plays out. I should also mention that this chapter deserves a strong content warning for in-depth discussions of suicide and predatory behavior toward minors.

04-01.

Kimberly!! She’s got a voice and Artie’s got a voice (again)! So glad Suwabe Junichi’s back—he is comfort food to my ears.

Talking about blind dates ‘again’ before even saying hello implies she’s insistent about this lmao—Kimberly strikes me as the type to demand grandkids.

& Artem also sighs upon seeing her caller ID but smiles ‘wryly’ aww lol

(Insert the TVTropes page for ‘Shipper on Deck’.) This short convo implies that they talk frequently—they didn’t even say hellos or goodbyes.

Kiki calling the intern ‘puppy boy’—PLEASE tell me she nicknames everybody like this ♡♡!!

Ah yes. Average business partners who call each other at night and cook each other food and share cozy car rides to work. Artem might as well kiss her on the forehead before heading into his office and insist that’s professional too.

^ because he wants to KissHerOnTheMouth bc they are InLove

Man, poor puppy boy intern. First his boss gets all icy jealous and now his roommate is dead? Tough day at the office

04-02.

What’s with Artem’s secret desk drawer full of letters? Does he keep thank-you notes from previous clients?

This is the second case of ‘smiles wryly’ he’s had. This is a common symptom of being in proximity to loved ones.

Due to his closeness to the elderly of Stellis, Artem now embodies the spirit of every insistent yet caring grandmother upon hearing a rumbling stomach.

Of course he likes the atmosphere of family restaurants. He’s half reassuring dad and half abandoned child. The man was made for family.

I’m sorry the wording of ‘falling from height incident’ was so bad 💀

04-04.

Dear Lord, I get distracted by the superficial aspects of this game so often that I always forget about its content. Again, warnings stand and will only get worse from here on out.

Every mention of Professor Hume brings me pain. Urgently awaiting more info 💔

They changed her name from Yuline to Lynnette after like 1 sentence or something?? MHY please hire me to revise your scripts…please.

^ Oh my god the guilt gets worse. Oh my god this story hurts me.

04-05.

Calls someone Mr. Lambert and the text box says Director Yang…

04-06.

Stats in the hospital LMAO WHATTT that was so sudden!! This hill is a safety hazard, lawyers get on that ASAP 🤣

(Artem is going to absolutely baby her in the incoming month) of course he’s acting like a worried mom LOL

‘Ah man, your arm got a boo boo…a lil ouchy ouch…welp, better live with me ♡!’ He says ‘let me take care of you’ as if it’s normal hehheee

04-07.

^ (sob)

His voice is so…hopeful and excited…

^ this situation is beauty incarnate

Rosa, ma’am, you can’t just enter rooms in someone’s house in your pjs. This could’ve ended up much more awkward than it was.

^ AHHHH THE SLEEPY VOICE IM DECEASED ba-dum-ba-dum-ba-dum (typical coworker things ♡)

How much of him really believes that all of his loved ones will eventually leave? Is this coming from the realist in him or the neglected child he was?

04-09.

husbandandwifehusbandandwifehusbandandwife

Dude NOOOO HIS MOMMM Why did they skip over Kimberly and Rosa’s first convo? I’d love to see Kimberly be like ‘who is this woman in my son’s home this morning 🤨’

HAND over the baby photos

‘thought marriage was arranged by the country’ —Artem, did your parents show no affection to each other when you grew up?? :((

(Artem frantically stuffing love letters into their grave) iconic

04-10.

Holy crap she’s a predator.

And comparing colleagues to a literal teacher/student dynamic involving a teenager? Like, yes I agree that Artem and Rosa have a bit of a power dynamic going on considering he was her supervisor previously and is a more well known figure, but that’s much different than this situation considering:

1) they would both be consenting adults in their twenties IF they WERE in a relationship, and

2) he’s her coworker, not an educator in charge of a child.

No way don’t tell me this dude is a predator too?? Just burn down the school, there are too many creeps in the building 😵

The way Rosa says ‘let’s go home’ and home is his house,, my heart

04-11.

^ oh my god.

04-13.

Could someone cut this tension with a knife?? It’s getting too much for me

Artem looked that girl in the face and told her she has daddy issues 💀

And at the end of this chapter…scene 🎬. Anniversary confessions could just happen here—this is basically a confession already.

04-14.

^ this is crazy I’m ~uncomfy~

(Any notes I’m taking now are getting shorter and shorter bc I’m too invested in the story)

04-15.

This chapter can’t even be described in bullet points, so just read it for yourself and you’ll understand why I’m fangirling like an 11 yr old. They are both fully aware of each others’ feelings and acknowledge them without saying it plainly, which I feel is very fitting for them as characters. They’re savoring the feeling of liking someone and waiting for the perfect moment to let it out. Artem even told her “I’ll wait for you” in reference to a confession, which… If there was any reason I started his playlist with J’s Lullaby, it was this. The two of them may be slow-burning to the point of frustration, but hey, at least they realize there’s a flame here after such a long time.

I must mention though: Rosa stealing the book and Artem saying it belongs to a ‘friend’…perfection.

-

Anyway, this has been my obligatory brain vomit! Goodbye :o)

[writing-in-april]

Tiny Vessels

Spencer Reid x Gender Neutral Reader (Spencer’s POV)

Summary: Spencer is done trying to lie to himself about his true feelings in his relationship, but not done lying to Reader.

A/N: IM BACK!!! So as y’all know I got really sick towards the end of my 30 fics in 30 days event- I’m still going to release the last few fics I missed (and we’re all just gonna pretend it’s still April 😂) this one was requested by @zhuzhubii it’s actually my second song fic and is based on the song tiny vessels. I’m actually super proud of this one and I’m happy to get back into the swing of things with writing 🥰 Also my 1500 follower celebration will likely wait until I finish up the backlog of fics so I don’t overwhelm myself! Feel free to leave me an ask here (I promise I don’t bite) Thanks for reading and hope you enjoy!

Warnings: 18+, Toxic relationship, Lying about feelings and intentions, Brief illusions to sex, Using someone only for their body

Main Masterlist Word Count: 1.3k

The moment I knew, had been a long time coming. It had been just after post coital bliss had faded around me, reality creeping in on the sides as it tried to take hold of me. It had been trying to tell me something, something I had denied for so long. No amount of tossing and turning would banish the slowly creeping in thoughts that attempted to plague my mind. If I had turned and tossed anymore, my partner right beside me would ask what was wrong, and I knew I couldn’t answer it. At least I couldn’t answer it honestly without tearing down what we had built up for ourselves. I never had much that I say I built myself, and even though the foundation was about to cave in, I wouldn’t take the sledgehammer to it myself.

I remember when I told them the first time I told them ‘I love you’. It had been an almost identical situation to where we were now. Two people, naked underneath the sheets, so close physically yet so far emotionally, though I covered that up with my honeyed words of promise.

I always wanted to believe the words I spoke to them, the promises I gave them. Each time I choked out the words, dripping in sentiment and sap I tricked them, and myself into believing them.

Unlike my counterpart I couldn’t fully escape into ignorant bliss. They didn’t know, but I knew deep down everytime I burst open their door after coming home from a rough case. We moved through the dark almost every time, as it was the only time I was available, and it hid my pained expressions pretty well.

All the friends I was telling about our relationship were even convinced too, though I could see a sneaking suspicion crop up in Emily’s eyes every once and a while when I mentioned them. I didn’t tell them the reality, the one that I avoided myself.

It was all for the flesh, nothing of substance lurked underneath, at least for me. Every bite I gave them left a mark, tiny vessels able to be seen creeping up on their skin even in the dark. I claimed them even if I didn’t let them be mine; they could never claim me. They had said they didn’t want those marks to fade, but they inevitably did, showing how hollow my words had been before I nipped at their skin. Once I realized how they faded, how non committed the marks were on their skin, I faded too. I still indulged in the pleasures they freely wanted to give me, but I let my words remain hollow, accepting their meaning without admitting it out loud.

And you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me.

Their beauty was unparalleled, it always had been to me. Time and realization had not changed that thought in my mind, though I had lied to myself about the depth of those thoughts. Every brushed touch against their body sent me into a blaze, though it took too long for me to admit that that was the only thing about them I thought about at night.

Their giggle did not make my chest feel light, and our conversations that edged on deep discussions only stimulated my mind because I forced it. Their moans and the softness of their skin were what made me call them at the dead of night, masking it by saying ‘I missed you’. I would then inevitably pivot away from talking about our feelings so I could hear their moans through the speaker of my old phone I only kept around for work, and to call them.

All I see are dark grey clouds now, ruining whatever utopia I had crafted in my mind once I had come to conclude what my real feelings were. If I was honest with myself, it had been lingering at the back of my mind for months now. By now the lie was too hard to escape, and their body felt too good underneath me to let go.

It was vile, and it was cheap of me to trick them for so long into believing that the words whispered into their skin in the dead of night held any true emotion. A kiss on their bare shoulder with a soft rasp of how much they meant to me. Kisses that had been given along the slopes of their pretty face with little whispers of ‘I love you’ in between before I had met their lips with mine.

Another kiss, the last one placed on their forehead given to them after I had promised to bring them the world. And they were all vile, and cheap lies.

Yeah, you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me

My thoughts swirled as I continued to stare at them, boring holes into their skin just from my gaze. Guilt nipped at my heels each time another harsh reality tried to slap me across the face, trying to get me to stop trapping them in something I already knew was hollow at its core. Denial was easy when no one else was calling me out for it; something in me almost wanted them to say it, to leave so I would be able to stop living this pathetic lie.

At some point they had sensed my eyes on their body, then looking over at me. Their lips turned downward into a frown, probably after successfully reading the expression on my face. Normally whenever I fixed my gaze on them it was out of admiration, unfortunately if I was going to be honest with myself, it was never because of what lies beneath. I couldn’t force myself to look any deeper than their body.

Too bad being a profiler hadn’t given me the ability to be a good liar, and I wondered if they had figured out long ago that my promises intermingled with kisses were a thinly veiled lie. Maybe they were lying to themselves still.

In the distance, my guilt moved closer every hour.

It would soon swallow me up whole, consuming me when they asked a simple question, “Is something wrong?”

My breath got caught up tight in my chest, my shame welling up so high up it stole my voice for a moment. In the moment that passed, they cocked their head to the side in question innocently. It was almost as if they were mocking the feelings eating at me, showing me how much I was missing by not developing true feelings for them. Damn, right there’s something wrong, but I won’t speak it out loud to let you know.

I felt disgusted with myself, and all I could wonder is if they felt the same way as I did. Wondering did nothing to ease the guilt inside, even as I tried to justify what I was doing.

It would be easier in some regards to come clean about what I was doing, to face the guilt head on. I was a creature of habit however, and hiding in the corners of my mind was one of the things I did best.

So, no we won’t talk about it, because I wouldn’t tell them. I leaned forward to kiss them on the lips, another promise to never let them go that was filled with nothing but lies. The kiss seemed to banish any worry that they still held in the crease of their forehead, their head was now cocked to the side to slant their lips across mine instead.

It was our last kiss of the night, before they went back to their own apartment tonight. My hands roamed up their sides, mapping out every dip and curve with my fingers. It was what I really cherished about them, even if it did make me sick on the inside. Though, I didn’t feel sick enough to say anything more, and I let them go, both of us pretending that it was something more. And, the only reason we were allowed to pretend was because I would not divulge the true reason I gave them those tiny vessels on their neck.

Ask Me Anything

—-

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All works: @shotarosleftpinky @90spumkin @kyra-morningstar @spenxerslut @boxofsparklingmuses @multixfandomwriter @takeyourleap-of-faith @sydneekomspacekru

All MGG characters: @muffin-cup @willowrose99 @princesssmooshie @peterpanouat @anaagraceeberr @ashcakes1918 @reid-me-a-story @cosmic-psychickitty @nomajdetective @go2sleepdummy

Spencer Reid/CM: @calm-and-doctor @destiny-tsukino @safertokiss @slutforthegubes @onlyhereforthefanfics @jareauswifey @princesssmooshie @peterpanouat

[sugasplug]

EPISODE 3

tw: discussion of suicide

- lim is so fucking funny the way he does a complete attitude 180 when ryeon says "so i can use [jun-woong] how i want" 🤣🤣👌 top tier

- jun-woong can be such a bootlicker sometimes lmfao

- OKAY FULL NAME TIME LETSGO very grateful that he gave us the characters unprompted: Lim Ryung-gu, ryung as in "high" and gu as in "to rescue". wonder why thats considered a teaseable combo

- "MR. TEMP" "MR. CONTRACT" HES SUCH A BASTARD IM IN LOVE WITH YOU SIR

- god they cut jun-woong down so quick. "you look like a rag doll", ryung-gu's mean little snicker, "keep looking forward (newbie bitch heavily implied)" yall are fucking ruthless lmfao

- damn ok this show is so good at getting me comfortable in the flow of bullying jun-woong and then punching me in my kidney with some nuance. the scene with his fathers shrine grabbed me by the balls even as i called him an idiot for going home in the first place and almost getting caught. "i wanted to fill your shoes better...still, this is...a pretty big company. i dont think theres one as big in korea" please sir im begging you to shut the fuck up my heart cant take it 😭😭

- TLDR; jun-woong can have a little depth. as a treat

- "you know how our family is unnecessarily frank and objective, right?" ok dialogue exposition go off. thanks 4 this peek into the psyche of why jun-woong is Like That

- damn that shit on why the dads missing from all the pictures hit ngl

- jun-woong you bystander trash its all "dont get involved" til its YOUR shoes got fucked up. but hes too charismatic and funny to stay mad about it. also every time its shown him doing this he gets involved anyway so as far as we know hes not even bystander trash. hes....wannabe bystander trash ??

- the delivery of him and jae-soo becoming friends in this moment was 1 of the funniest things i seen in a long time i dont even know how many times i played it back. theyre both so ridiculous who does this shit

- the creation of kim woong-jun ahjussi = petty bitch lim ryung-gu confirmed

- THE ROOSTER CROWING IN THE BG WHEN JUN-WOONG SAYS THEY NEED CHICKEN AFTER JAE-SOOS DEPRESSION MONTAGE WAS SO UNNECESSARY I HATE KDRAMAS OMFG 🤣🤣

- lmao they rly spooked the fuck out this man he ran like an olympic gold medalist was chasing him with a knife

- ryung-gu seems to be developing a habit of holding jun-woong back from shit and im interested to see where that goes

- "a temporal error will occur if your temporary body gets close to your real body" sorry but what does going tachycardic have to do with time glitching ?? anw i really thought mr sexy grim reaper did all that shit to prove a point but it turns out he didnt and also kind of saved jun-woong's life by getting him away from his own body?? granted he didnt have to choke-throw him but yknow

- ryung-gu's energy is very matchy in the scene about the contract. jun-woong raises his voice, he raises his back. jun-woong speaks quier and with deliberation, so does he. gonna have to see if thats a pattern during a rewatch sometime

- OH NO THE STRAW 🥤😭😭

- damn my mans jae-soo rly said nah this nosebleeds gonna have to wait til im done studying

- "like im the only one standing still" [meme oof audio]

- "dont cry" [cries] "nevermind. cry it out" [stops crying immediately] why is this guy so relatable

- duality of man: jun-woong is smart enough to snag his shoes from the entryway before hiding so hes not caught out and able to argue his way onto jae-soo's case by citing his usefuleness as someone who grew up in the neighborhood but also dumb enough to forget his face will change to anyone in the land of the living that knows him and not even skim the contract before signing it. YOU ARE WORKING FOR THE MF JADE EMPEROR READ THE FUCKIGN CONTRACT

- LMFAO THE DIRECTOR WAS SO IN AWE AT THE GALL OF ASKING FOR A FORBIDDEN PRACTICE TO BE ALLOWED FOR THE SAKE OF FRIED CHICKEN SHE JUST SAID YES THATS INCREDIBLE

- jun-woong really stuck his head out the window just for the reverb on that "ANDWAE...!"

- damn this kid got kicked out of school, harrassed while alone by weird strangers who lied about knowing his name without ever meeting him before, watched his mom cough up both damn lungs then try to say she was all better because of the hospital bills, and became homeless all on one day which happened to be his birthday

- say bruh i dont think ur dads comin back w that chicken. FUCK AND HE LOST HIS DAD ON HIS BIRTHDAY TOO. SHIT. FUCK

- when jae-soo woke up from one (1) PTSD nightmare and went "hm yea i need to step in front of a moving vehicle immediately" i felt that 😔😔✊

- nah im with ryeon on this one jun-woong is painfully slow on the uptake

- idk whats funnier, the fact that mr sexy grim reaper got scammed just as hard as jun-woong or the fact that jun-woong damn near dove into the other room to avoid being seen. ngl tho id be pussybaby too if some guy choked me out and tossed me ten feet while my physical body was busy being defibrillated

- ok at the risk of sounding callous idk if trying to save jae-soo's dad is the right option here?? like sure he'll be alive and jae-soo might be less fucked up, but that money was assumably what kept jae-soo fed and allowed his mother to continue treatment at the hospital. if his dad doesnt kill himself for that money theyll still be homeless and broke, and shit, maybe his mom dies instead once shes kicked out the hospital and he's just got different trauma. and you know whatever bills his dad wracks up in the hospital after his car crashes is gonna push him futher in debt, not to mention the cost of repairing the car itself, or possibly getting sued by the driver of the semi (assumung s. korean road law is similar to the usa's). fucking with time is always so riskyyy how about just get the man a support system and some therapy idk

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Welcome To The Pack: Sinking Fangs

Summary- 10.2k Alpha Steve x You. Things have settled back on Pack Lands. Over a month has passed since you and Steve returned from Wakanda and now there is just one last thing to deal with to put the ordeal of your time with the Pierce Pack to rest, deal with Council Member Ross. Brock now has a new asset on hand and gives a preview of how efficient he is. Dividers made by @firefly-graphics​

Warnings- Violence, Killing, Sex. 

A/N- Wow, thank you all so much for reading this. Really it has been a passion project of mine, and Im so happy I could bring my wolves into the MCU verse. We are at the end of this story with Alpha Steve and the Little One. I hope it delivered all that you had hoped it would and enjoyed it as much as I have. Reading your comments and asks have meant more to me then you could possibly know. Happy Howling 🐺

 Chapter 9 (part 2) / Masterlist 

The chill tickled his senses and that was what woke Steve up that morning, his hand sweeping over the bed to find you not there, but your warmth was still clinging to the bed sheets. You haven’t been up for long. Rolling to his stomach, he moved to resettle, listening for where you might be in the cabin. But all was silent, all he could pick up was the drip-drip of the coffee maker in the kitchen, so you had been there just before, there was no rustle on the couch no sounds of your feet springing off the cabin's wood floor though. But the heavy autumn air did draw his attention to the wide-open door to the deck. Rolling up to rub at his face to waken further, Steve leaned down and grabbed sleep pants nearby to tug them on. He advanced on the deck and took a look around. 

The deck was frost-covered, as well as the towering pines housing the migrating songbirds sheltering overnight and that one grey squirrel that seemed to claim the back deck as his since you started feeding them. Steve’s eyes scanned for you, and the Wolf immediately picked up your warm scent, eyes dropping to see where the soles of your feet and toes had melted a trail across the frost covered deck. Following it, he went down the stairs to the lower deck that stretched out over the lake, and there you were, at the very end with an afghan wrapped around your shoulder, legs peeking out from underneath it. Steve could see where you were arched onto your toes to keep the rest of your feet from touching the frost covered wood. Getting a quicker spring to his step, Steve approached you from behind. 

“Y/N, what are you doing out here so early? You must be freezing.” His Wolf growled in agreement when you looked over your shoulder. Even as cold as you looked, your eyes were bright with excitement. “I heard geese overhead, and I wanted to see them flying south.” Once he reached you, his arms went around your waist and drew you back so that you would lean into him, your feet moving to step on top of his to protect them from the frostbitten boards and the fog coming off the lake so early in the morning. His head tilted up to look in the clear blue sky above, something about the cold made it look sharper. Sometimes he forgot that son of a bitch Pierce kept you locked up so long in his compound, like an animal in a zoo. 

You missed out on the way their world would shift between warm sunshine filled lazy days to everything preparing for a long sleep. The woods were now constantly rustling with animals seeking food to store away, leaves windblown loose to swirl in patterns before falling to the forest floor to provide shelter for the tree roots. Overhead the sky would be swarmed with birds, quick off the wing as they left for winter bound destinations. Ice would soon form on the lake edges, sending the lake dwellers down into the depths to wait out the winter. And right now, your head tipped back to watch the obnoxious geese as the massive birds flew in their arrow path, carrying them out of sight. 

“Winter will soon be here,” Steve said with a smile, for it was his favorite time of year. As wonderful as all the others were, the snow brought a serene calmness to The Pack. Letting the Wolves loose for days to run across the snow. It was a time his Beast was most at home in the world. The biting winds and harsh cold he was made for. While the forest snapped from the intense ice and cold, he tracked through it, laying claim to all that was his and reminding nearby packs that a strong Alpha and his wolves claimed this territory. Then for his human side, he had a warm cabin, and now his Little One filling his home and his bed. Steve finally felt that maybe things were falling into place. 

You turned to face him, wrinkling your nose at him. “You know who else will be here soon ? Ross.” You reminded him with a worried look and Steve gave a soft growl at the man’s name, a pain in his ass if there ever was one. He had put him coming off for well over the past couple months since you two had returned from Wakanda. But Tony finally pushed him for this meeting, to go over what had actually happened to Pierce’s pack, and You. Pack on pack violence wasn’t tolerated among the council, supposedly. So Steve needed to explain his reasons for attacking. It was all bullshit, considering what you went through alone. 

“Don’t remind me Little One.” Steve gave a huff, warm breath washing over your face as his head dropped, burying his face in your neck, inhaling deeply. “The sooner he leaves the better. Come on, now my feet are cold.” He chuckled and drew you away, and back up the stairs towards the house once more. 

The morning was a bit more tense than usual. Steve was quiet, you felt like his concentration was discussing matters with his Wolf, knowing he would have to keep himself under control with the Alphas coming into his territory. Initially, he was going to refuse this meeting, but Tony convinced him that it would be a show of good faith to the council if he allowed them access and actually explained what happened. The ex Pierce pack now belonged to Caine, who told the members the council sent what happened already. But Ross couldn’t let it go. Wanting to still hear from Steve. Finally, the Alpha relented, unsure if it was entirely the right thing, but it was done with. He wasn’t one to back down from his word. 

“You still going up to the yard?” You asked cautiously, knowing Steve was a bit all over the place, and his head lifted at your voice, checking his watch. 

“Yea, guess I better get up there if I want to get at least one truck off to the mill.” He drained his mug and set it in the sink, grabbing his jacket as he drew up to you. “Shoot me a text if anything happens while I’m up the mountain.” His fingers grasped your chin and placed a kiss on your lips, you nodded with an encouraging smile. 

“Of course Steve.” You nudged at him and tilted for one more coffee stained kiss from him, and when he left, you listened to his heavy footfalls take him down the porch and then moments later one of the pickups at the garage start-up. Once he was gone, you moved to settle on the couch, pulling your phone out to call Natasha. This had become the morning routine, once Steve headed out, you checked in with the Red Wolf. 

After a few moments, Natasha picked up, you could see here setting her phone up on a nightstand before going back to packing up a duffel bag. 

“Hey, you coming home for a bit?” you asked hopefully. She had been gone since she left you and Steve in Wakanda, and only heard from her now and then till you started to actively video chat her once a day. If she would pick up the phone that was. Some days when she answered it would be from a car while driving, a motel room, middle of the street. And the days she didn't, you weren't sure if you wanted to know where she was holed up in her search for the missing pack members.

“No, not yet, I picked up another lead last night, and about to go check it out.” 

“Natasha, Steve wouldn't be upset if you came home. It's been weeks and every trail you come across leads to a dead end.” You say into your phone while propping it on the coffee table. 

“No, I'm sure of it this time. He really fits Bucky’s description. Tall, dark hair, slight limp to his walk. Sounded like he passed through town.” Natasha sounded hopeful. So many times Natasha was sure she finally found Bucky, and it always led to a dead end.

“Was there anyone else with him?” You questioned, and her face got a bit crestfallen, shaking it slowly. 

“No, nothing about the others. Has Laura said anything about Clint contacting her?” 

Another shake of the head no. “Nothing, no one has seemed to hear anything. Steve’s even been reaching out to other packs. Someone named Fury is coming soon, he works for the Council, and is going to try to help figure out where they went.” 

Natasha’s green eyes widened a bit. “Fury? Well damn, Uh, how did Steve feel about that?” your eyes narrowed at your packmate, yes you were still fairly new, and was reminded of that in moments like these. 

“From what I understand, Steve called him himself. Why? What do I not know?” You questioned, and Natasha shrugged. 

“You know Steve, he's not on board with the whole Wolf Packs need to be “policed” like the council wants to do. But Fury, he's one of the better ones. Kinda walks his own line, you know? Steve worked with him way before he was an Alpha, at an agency called Shield.”

This piqued your interest, even your Little Wolf stirred, cause Steve rarely talked about his past. “What was Shield?”

Natasha searched the drawers one last time while she remained talking. “Oh it was Wolves trained in special skills, usually combative and logistics. They would be dispatched into problem areas for wolves and humans alike, working with the military. Bucky was a part of it as well. Their team was called the Howling Commandos.” Natasha snapped the drawers shut, and went to sit on the bed, picking up the phone. “Course this was way back when. I'm a bit surprised Steve hasn’t talked about it?” 

“No, but honestly Steve doesn't talk much about his past.” You worried your lip a bit and the Little Wolf brushed against your mind. 

<He will talk about it when he's ready.>

Natasha gave a shrug. “He will sometime, Steve’s time with his ex wasn’t easy. He probably just wants to forget some of that. With your help.” Natasha smirked at you, and you gave her a roll of your eyes, your Little Wolf snickering in agreement with your friend. “Have you thought about making it all official?” She eased out the question, and you wish you could give a resounding yes. You had considered asking Steve many times about it since you two have returned home. 

But something held you back, the idea of being connected to someone mind and body scared you in a way that seemed so unreasonable considering you and your Little Wolf knew you wouldn't ever want another Mate. Steve assured you many times that he would share that bond with you, but only when you asked for it, and never pushed or made you feel guilty like you should ask. Plus the way you and Steve were right now, it was comfortable and content, you hated the thought of asking for more and ruining the rhythm of happiness you found with each other, even though in Wakanda you were more than ready. 

“I know Steve would the second I asked him, it's me waiting. After living with Pierce for so long, Nat honestly it scares me. If Steve connected, I would belong to him. I know he wouldn’t do anything I wasn't okay with, but knowing he could. Fuck that just scares me.”

“Y/N, does he even know you feel this way?” Natasha asked softly and you shook your head. “Talk to him Y/N, Steve will want to know what you are thinking.” 

Your Little Wolf curled around in your mind, growling softly. <She’s right, we should communicate with our Alpha.>

“Think about it Y/N, you open up, maybe Steve will as well.” Natahsa grabbed her duffel and shouldered it. “Listen, I will be home soon, okay? Don’t worry about me, I'm used to being out on my own quite a bit.” 

“Doesn't mean we don’t still worry.” you chuckled softly and gave a wave into the phone screen. “Talk to you tomorrow Nat. Bye.” 

After hanging up, you settled back into the couch thinking over yours and Natasha’s discussion with the bond. Maybe it was time to bring it up with Steve, about why you were hesitant. 

Maybe he’s hesitant to? I know he has offered but-

<But nothing Y/N, his past is his past and even with the bond, he can choose not to share it. You know some things still stay private unless you choose to share them. Same goes with Steve and his Wolf. Besides… you're not just a little curious about before he was Alpha?> 

Of course I am, I just never really brought it up. 

The Little Wolf huffed out in frustration and shook out her fur as she moved to a stretch. <You have wanted it since before I came home, you were just waiting for me to come back.>

How do you know about that? 

<Cause I was never actually gone, just trapped.> she responded, starting to trot away from the front of your awareness with a whisk of your tail. <Now it's simply fear holding you back. The Alpha deserves to know.> 

You huffed a bit at your wolf being so dismissive. Pushing up off the couch, and going back to the bedroom to go get ready for the arrival of Ross to the pack. 

Up on the mountain, the lot was just finishing up, Steve waiting with hands on his hips, watching as Sam worked the Skid Cat to load the last of the logs on. Once the last one was on, he pulled himself up the side and started working on strapping them down for transport when Sam parked the skid cat nearby, and hopped down to go join Steve. Pulling himself up the other side, both men working quietly tightening the straps till everything was safe to be taken down the mountain. 

“Your awful quiet today Man.” Sam finally broke the ice while twisting to take a seat at the top of the pile, Steve making a similar move to sit next to him. 

“Lot on my mind I guess.” He pulled off his heavy duty work gloves, and slapped them down beside him.

“This to do with Ross or Y/N?” Sam questioned while falling back to his palms planted on the log behind him, relaxing for a moment. 

“A bit of both. Ross, I'm just ready to get him off Pack Land.” Steve admitted, and the Wolf growled lowly at the mention of the man's name. “Y/N, were good and starting to feel comfortable, and settled after everything from this summer. But is this what she wants for sure?” 

<Course it is, our mate is happy Steve.> The Wolf pinned back his ear at the humans worries, sighing. 

Sam listened and gave a nod. “I remember feeling that way with Sara when we first started. ‘Was she happy, would she want this to be her life.’ Nerve wracking. I wanted to ask her, but fuck I was scared that she was gonna tell me it was temporary.” Sam flashed a grin. “Then I sucked it up, and brought it up one night. Damn, she jumped me in all of two seconds, told me I was an idiot and that she wasn't going anywhere.” Sam chuckled at the memory, and Steve gave his own amused laugh. “Anyways, I had nothing to be worried about, and I don't think you do either. Y/N looks at you man with those god damn heart eyes all the time whenever she catches a whiff of you. And Ross, I know you're not happy about it. I'm glad i'm not in your position right now.”

Steve rolled his eyes at him. “Thanks Sam.” 

“But you're gonna sail through it, tell Ross what happened, he's just being a prick cause you're not rushing to sign his accords.” Sam moved then to push off, sliding back down to the ground, and motioning to the truck's cab. When one Alpha refuses, others will not be afraid to say they agree. He’s afraid of more Alphas and packs agreeing with you. Come on Alpha, you're stalling. Let's get our shit finished, your best friend gonna be here soon.” 

Steve grabbed his gloves and jumped down, growling at Sam. “You're an ass.” while stuffing his gloves in his back pocket and yanking the door open to get in. 

“It’s a gift I’ve worked on for years.” Sam grinned, grabbing the walkie talkie and listening for the static. “Steve and I are taking the last load, clean up guys.” Once he got the confirmation, he got in, and Steve put the truck in drive and headed down the mountain. 

It wasn’t long till Steve was once more pulling into the Packs compound and it hit him as soon as he opened the door. The Alpha himself bristled in Steve’s mind scenting the other Alphas on his land, and he had to push the Wolf back from the front of his consciousness, the beast set off by not just one outside Alpha, but two. Sam coming out the other side, side eyed Steve a moment to make sure he didn't lose control because he saw the situation before Steve did. Sam was well aware the moment Steve saw them, just from the growl that raised from the depths of his chest in a menacing tone before dying down. 

On HIS porch, with HIS mate was Ross, Tony, and a female. Steve was unsure of who it was, but he was more focused on three wolves surrounding you that were outsiders. Heavy handed, he slammed the truck door shut, and all heads turned towards him to see him stalking towards his porch. 

Tony immediately moved to a stand, clapping his hands together. “And there's the old boy now! We were just about to go up the mountain to find you Steve.” Ross gave a cold nod in agreement, and the woman sitting next to him, Steve finally recognized Ross's assistant, Judy. Steve’s gaze shifted hotly from the wolves to you, taking you in. You seemed relax, one leg crossed over another, your hand wrapped around a coffee mug, and everything in you seemed to say that you were comfortable yet alert. Immediately as soon as you saw him looking at you with such an intense look, you set your cup aside, and eased to a stand, bushing past Judy and going down the stairs to reach your Alpha, smiling in that welcome home way. 

Immediately Steve loped an arm around you and pressed his lips to your temple with a whispered hushed tone just for you. “Everything okay?” you hummed a yes, exchanging the sentiment with a nuzzle to his shoulder before turning back to your waiting guests. 

“They just arrived minutes before you and Sam, Alpha.” You say cheerfully, the other three following you off the porch and standing around. You can feel Steve against you, not growling, but the vibrations of silent rumbles shifted through him. Your hand lightly slides under the back of his shirt to press against his lower back, and you feel him calm down, a deep inhale clearing his mind. 

“I was expecting you all much later, and I have a business to run, orders to be placed and people to keep employed within the compound and from the town below. But I’m here now, shall we go inside to talk?” Steve offered with an extended hand towards his front door. Ross once more seemed to look at Steve with disdain, making the Little Wolf in you bristle at the rudeness to your Alpha, but Steve chose to ignore it so you did as well. Judy though was another matter, the woman standing just to the other side of Ross with her tablet for notes, and she seemed to be eyeing Steve in a whole other way. A way that made you self conscious that he didn't have your bite showing any other unmated wolves he was committed. It made your jaw ache as you clenched it shut, your Little Wolf pacing now, panting slightly being on edge.

<She's a threat, I can smell her desire.> The Little Wolf's ears swept back flat against her skull, yellow eyes sharp as they watched Judy flaunt a bit in front of Steve, flashing her neck with sweeps of her hair over her shoulder and lowering her gaze in a way that wasn't necessary for anyone other than her Alpha or Mate. Now that Steve was here, you could smell the change in her, the heated desire this woman had for him. Steve must have felt you tense, cause his hand flexed on your hip and fingers pressed in the curve. 

She is only a threat if we allow her to be. Your attention turned away from her back to Tony and Ross. 

"Yes let's finish up with this." Ross snapped a bit and proceeded up the stairs. 

 As they headed inside, Steve dipped his head to Sam to whisper in his ear. Sam nodded at whatever Steve had said and stepped away from the group. You watch as he leaves, until Steve's touch pushes you gently up the stairs, wanting to keep you with him during this. You embrace for going inside, assaulted by the scent of all the extra people, but the one that was really irritating you the most was Judy. Who flung her hair once more over her shoulder, showing off the slim column of her neck. 

Your teeth bared slightly, although you flashed her a smile, digging for a hair tie in your pocket. “Here, your hair seems to be bothering you.” you held out the offending tie to her and she looked at your hand with a slight wrinkle of her nose, and plucked it from your fingers. 

“Thanks.” she muttered, but was quick to walk away from you. You noticed she flung your hair tie back on the kitchen island counter and stuck to Ross’s side while they settled on the couch. Judy’s nose dropped to her tablet, suddenly very busy. 

Not a threat but she's annoying as hell. Steve isn't even paying her any attention. You stated confidently to you Little Wolf as Steve dropped a kiss to your shoulder while going to the bar to pour some tumblers of the Wakandian liquor to offer the guests. 

“Be careful, it's strong.” he said as he passed it to Ross, Tony and Sharon. The last two he kept for you and him, once he settled in his leather chair, you perched on the arms chair allowing Steve to keep a possessive hand on your thigh. You sip it, licking your bottom lip afterward to clear the droplets collected and smirked to yourself when Steve’s fingers flexed and dug into your muscle before loosening again. 

<His…>

Yes we are. You thought while sipping the strong liquor once more. 

Tony, you noticed, was well aware of what Steve had given him and took a tentative sip. Ross though, shot back a heavy swallow, and started sputter and grabbing a kerchief from his pocket. “Christ Rogers, what was that?”

“It's Wakadian Liquor, courtesy of King T’Challa. So, what is it you want, Senator Ross? You felt the need to come all the way to my Pack to discuss my packs matters?” 

Ross set his glass to the side, and your gaze followed to see that he completely missed the coaster, and your eyes flashed in irritation at his ignorant behaviour. 

“Well as you know, the council over the American Wolves don't condone pack on pack violence. I understand the unique situation with Pierces ex lone wolf.” Ross said, gesturing towards you. 

Steve snapped forward in his seat, a warning growl rising from him. “Her name is Y/N, and I accepted her as part of the Mountain Pack the day she arrived. She was never a lone wolf or lived in the no man's land. Y/N was on the run, for her life. Running from a mad Alpha looking to sell her. She was a victim, she didn't choose to cross boundaries. Treat her as such.” 

To be called a lone wolf insinuated you had abandoned your pack and disrespected your Alpha. A wolf gone rogue and living between pack lines was a dangerous wolf, traveling to find a new pack was acceptable. But to live entirely feral,was rare and often those beasts went a little mad, losing their sense of human side.  

Tony rubbed at his face, easy to tell that the two Alphas were going to start bristling at one another, and interrupted with a slightly cheerful voice. “Okay gentleman, let's be sure we keep to the purpose here.” 

Ross nodded, this time taking a much more careful sip of his drink. “I apologize Y/N. I'm not unsympathetic to your situation.” He stated towards you, which you nodded slightly in acceptance while Steve thrummed his fingers against your thigh, impatient now. “As I was saying, there are proper procedures we must take to investigate Pierce and properly hold him accountable. Now, he’s dead. And he can't pay for his crimes. So Alpha…” Ross snapped out. “What prompted you to take those measures without notifying the Council.” 

Steve slid his arm around your hip while leaning forward, moving to sit on the edge of his seat, instinctively you felt the Aloha growing angered, and slid from the arm of the chair onto his knee. You could feel his coiled muscles underneath you and you leaned back enough to feel his chest pressing partially against your back. “What prompted me, Senator Ross? The fact that Y/N had to come seeking safety while being hunted. Trackers crossed my lines, uninvited, went into my house, uninvited and tried to abduct Y/N.” Steve inhaled deeply, dragging your scent to calm his Wolf down before continuing. “Then I am told about unmated wolves being held captive and sold to the highest bidder, against their consent. But none of that matters, right Ross? Leave it to the council to sit on their asses waiting for something more? How about this, Pierce threatened to attack my pack.” Steve shifted back, easing you both back. “I went to him instead, offered to talk first. It didn't end that way. I'm not going to have any of my family threatened, especially when from what I've been told, the council had all this information and more on file. And YOU all were still waiting? For what?” Steve challenged back. 

Ross glared at Tony before clearing his throat. “I don't know where you might have heard that information, but I can assure you Steve that the council has nothing but all Packs welfare in mind. That's why we were made in the first place. 

“Enough!” Steve snapped his teeth behind you. “I see now that the Council was made to try to control the Packs, do away with the need for Alphas. That's what this is about right? I refuse to sign your Accords, and by me not doing so, you have other packs who are also refusing. The matter with Pierce is just showing how fucking sloppy you all are, half ass work, rather watch until its the prime opportune moment to make the Council look good.” Steve snarled out, jostling you a bit in his lap as his arm tightened around you, probably unconsciously at this moment because his anger was starting to roll from him. 

“You're severely misjudging the Council Rogers, and although your opinions of us are not unknown, I say you best be watching what you say. You originally were for it, and we're still doing good for everyone, even if it's behind the scenes. Just because you and your Wolf got all tripped up saving a bitch in distress and breaking the Law.”

You felt Steve surge behind you, but you were quicker this time, your Little Wolf raging enough that your eyes flashed yellow barely containing her now. “You are in the Alphas house Senator, shut your fucking mouth if you cant be civil!” you snapped out, looming over the seated man when you pulled out of Steve’s hold. He went to stand, and you pushed him back to sit on the couch, Judy next to him giving a yelp in surprise, and you snarled at her enough for her to pull back into Ross.  You turned into Tony next, who threw up his hands in surrender. “Stark I like you, you helped Steve and I when we needed it most. But how dare you bring this man to our home.” Your hand waved over Ross. 

“Y/N, I'm sorry… “ Tony started genuinely but you cut him off, turning towards Ross, your anger still on the surface. You felt Steve move up behind you, but he never tried stopping you. 

“And You,” you inhaled deeply and growled as you exhaled. “You left us there to be tortured and abused. You left Pierce out of control, for what? More evidence? Know how many times Pierce tried to sell me off? Do you want the details of how that happens? I can fucking show you for your files. I know you saw his wall of skins. How many you think he did that to while your precious fucking council was waiting? You know how many he skinned alive?” At this Steve rested his hands on your shoulder, angry tears welling up that you wiped away furiously before continuing. “I remember every single one of them begging for mercy, their howls and screams. It will never go away.” All three of them listened while horror crossed their faces. “Steve, listened to the bare minimum of it all and knew it couldn't continue. So don't ever, EVER come here again trying to accuse the Alpha of anything other than saving the rest of our lives.” You took a deep breath, and your glare fell on your last victim. Judy saw you snap towards her, and she shrunk into the cushions, her hands shaking a bit as she dropped her head to look away from you. “And you know that I'm with Alpha, bite or not. All the neck flashing and bare minimum presenting yourself as a possible mate does nothing but make you look like a fool Woman. I'm assuming you think you're going places working for Ross. Sweetheart, find a new Alpha to work for.” You could feel yourself getting closer to losing control and you straightened, your back slamming into Steve just behind you, and his hands tightened on your hips to steady you. 

“I think my Little One said everything she needed to Ross. Leave, get off my pack’s land and don't ever show your face here again, you are not welcome.” Steve said quietly, the tone dripping with anger and a threat. 

“Now Rogers…” Ross tried again to make his point across while Tony and Sharon both went to stand and remove themselves. Steve roared out from behind you, and you hitched your chin up in your resolve. “NOW!” From outside came threatening howls from around the cabin, a clear sign that they were no longer welcome, and Ross snapped to a stand, straightening his jacket. 

“We're leaving, but mark my words Rogers this isn't over. There's the matter of your missing pack mates. Know where your trusted White Wolf is?” Ross snarled, and Steve started to make a move to lunge at Ross when Tony started to push them out. 

“Were going Steve, Y/N, Pepper says hi.” Tony shoved them both out the doors, and from the glance you saw, several wolves were lounging in front of your cabin, Sam being right on the stairs and Sara just below him. Sam remained impassive, just his ears perking at the opening of the door. Sara though rolled her muzzle to flash her fangs at the trio descending the stairs. 

Sam followed them down with Sara pacing right along with him, all three hurried to their parked vehicle as other wolves followed along. Several other packmates flowed silently into the treeline bordering the road that would lead them off the grounds. 

As the vehicle sped, they were followed with howls all along the driveway, going for several miles, keeping track of where the intruders were. You and Steve remained listening, relaxing a little more the further they got. Steve's hold was loose around you and his head dropped to nip kisses against your neck, breathing in against you while you and the Little Wolf listened with perked ears until Sam and Sara both announced with their own howl the threat was gone. You sagged in against his chest, for a moment and tipped your head back to look up at him. 

“I could have ripped his throat out.” You rumbled, and Steve looked down with a slight amused look on his face when he rubbed your stomach under your shirt, feeling yourself clench under his hands. 

“I know Little One, apparently they lit a fire in you.” A hand wrapped around your neck to slip up to your jaw, tilting your head to the side so he could drag teeth along your neck and followed by the soft warmth of his tongue. Your adrenaline was quickly shifting from anger to lust and desire. “Seeing you get protective was fucking hot Little One. I could fuck you so hard right now.” He bared his teeth against your wayward pulse. Everything about Steve screamed danger for others, for you it was exhilarating, the slight squeeze on your neck left you whimpering as you clenched your thighs together. “Get in our bed Little One, now.” He released you and you spun to face him, grasping his face to lick over his lips and biting that bottom one with a tug while his hand snapped sharply across your ass to send you on your way inside. 

Steve followed you in and watched you disappear down the hallway before he turned to lock the front door. Gritting his teeth as he leaned his forehead, feeling the Wolf shift through him with hunger for you, he was already rock hard when you lit right into Ross, Tony and Judy. Now the need to claim you was overriding all his other desires for you. Snapping back from the door, he stalked down the hallway, his nose lifted to follow your scent. Which built a hunger in his lower gut. 

He was raging hard, everything said that you ached, wet heat for him to get lost in. And when he stopped in the doorway, he saw you kneeling in the middle of the bed, arching yourself while your hands traveled to your back to unclasp your bra. Steve didn't even give you a chance. 

He couldn't help it, he was on you, his hands pulling you in closer to the edge, and a snap of his fingers against your back and sliding his hand around your ribs, he pulled the bra off your front to sharply inhale, catching the sight of you blinking up at him with those wide eyes shimmering back and forth between you and the Little Wolf. Hands moving to cup your breasts, thumbs flickering over the round pebbled tips while descending to claim your mouth, riding you down till you were smothered underneath him on the bed, caging you effectively underneath him. “Fuck you drive me wild Little One.” 

You could feel his teeth sink into your shoulder to keep you still and make you hiss out “Isn’t that my job?” which made Steve bite just a bit harder and make you growl while arching just a bit. Your hands fisted in the soft cotton of his tee and started to shred it till you could pull it away while his hands had your hips pinned in place, slotting a knee in between your spread thighs to grind the hard muscle into your cunt, which had your jolting underneath him. 

Once you got rid of his shirt, yanking the last of what was left over his head that he had to lift himself away from where he was marking you, you rubbed your aching cunt against his thigh again, dragging your nails down his muscled back while arching underneath him, seeking out that friction of his body against yours. 

Steve’s hand snaked once more around your neck, slamming you back into the pillows so he could look down at you, panting as inhaling you wasn't enough, he wanted to taste you, breath you in and get lost in the intoxication that made up you. “Flip over, to your knees Little One.” Leaning over you and brushing his lips against yours while you gave kitten licks to his lips, opening to let his tongue fill your mouth in a hungry kiss for one another. Steve couldn't contain the snarl of need erupting from him, the twitch of his cock constrained in tight jeans. Your nails dug into his back, dragging down while digging in, maring the spanse of his back in deep red welts. You gasped out when he moved down to suck his mark on your neck. “Steve, you gotta let me move.” you chuckled, pointing out the obvious. Steve had you effectively captured underneath him. 

The Alpha gave a warning nip to your pulse before pulling away, smirking down at you. “Sassy Little Wolf.” His palms slapped against your ass cheeks, digging his fingers in and pushing you off his knee. “One more time, flip over and let me see just how wet and needy you are Little One.”  Steve commanded, and pulled back while you twisted to your stomach, his hands sliding along your sides, and grasping your layers remaining to jerk them down over your ass and off your legs. 

Finishing with unbuckling his belt and sliding pants down while your ass swung back and forth to get yourself in position for your Alpha, breathing out deeply while dropping your head to the mattress. You could hear his hungry groan as he moved in behind you, his hands cupping the soft globes, spreading them so nothing was possibly hidden from him. You sighed feeling the cool air brush against your heated swollen cunt, and snuck a peek over your shoulder to see Steve biting on his lip, his eyes hungry while his cock pressed against the lower part of his stomach, dripping from his own desires. A finger trailed along your weeping cunt, sliding so easily into your channel, even when you tightened around him, dropping your head against the mattress once more with a pleading whimper. “Alpha please.” 

Steve stroked your fluttering and clutching walls, his finger slick with your want, and he easily stretched you open with another finger. His other hand smoothed up your back, and grasped the back of your neck, long fingers grasping around the column and dragging you up so that you were leaning on your elbow, your head tipped back to look up. 

“So pretty for me my Little One, taking my fingers so good.” He gave a stroke against the soft spongy spot that made you clench around him, breathing in deeply as he dropped his forehead against the center of your back, breathing out to keep himself under control as his muscles rippled under taunt skin. You started whimpering and mewling whenever his calloused fingertips sunk back into you, snapping your back while pushing back to meet his movements. “Your Alpha is going to fill you up, leave you dripping with my cum so everyone knows who you belong to.” 

Fuck you wanted that, wanted him so hard and deep in you that you would ache moving the next day, that his claim would be all over your skin, bruises from his mouth, and his seed rubbed in till it was all you could scent, leaving you dripping with need. “Please Alpha, make me yours.” you panted, and started clenching around his fingers, the coils in your belly threatening to snap. Twisting your head to muffle into the mattress, you started crying out and curling your toes while Steve started to run his tongue up your back till his chest was draped over your back, nuzzling the back of your neck with soft growls while pressing his words into your soft skin with kisses and sharp nips. 

“Come on my fingers and I will give it to you.” tilting his head and sinking his teeth in enough to hold you still while you let go, his fingers dragging out your orgasm until you wanted to sink into the bed in bliss. “Nu uh uh, Little One.” Steve removed his fingers from your clenching core to hold your hip up, pushing up to take the weight off your back. “Im not done with you yet.” He assured you while you dragged in deep breaths and gave a nod. “That's my good girl, my perfect Little One.” Grasping his base, he dragged his swollen weeping cocks head through your swollen folds, tapping against your clit to make you jolt while he pressed against your entrance. Tight as you were, when he started to press into you, he was able to slide right in, burying himself to the hilt, and you flexed around him with your own groan underneath him, biting against a pillow to muffle yourself. Steve's hand moved to press against your stomach, feeling himself thrust into you, a jolt of his hips rocking you. 

“Fuck Little One.” He growled and you pushed to your elbows, flexing yourself around him. A few shallow strokes went faster and harder, his hands holding your hips in place to keep him from driving you into the mattress. Steve felt so heavy and full in you and around you, it was taking your willpower to keep from falling apart feel each demanding thrust into you, but you met him back, your hands digging into the sheets and your head tipped back to get lost in the sensation of Steve claiming your body, every hitting thrust into your cunt breaking down those walls of doubt just a bit more. There wasn't going to be anyone you could want like this, except for Steve. Even now in the midst of taking you as his, he was still taking care of you, above you was him grunting out praises in how good you were to him, a hand dipped in between your legs, and rolled your clit to bring you maximum pleasure. 

In the midst of this, the need to belong to him flooded you. More then the endorphins sex brought, but genuine resolve that you were ready for it, all that belonging to the Alpha would bring. You couldn't imagine not being here with Steve, and not just these moments, but all of them. The good and bad, you would remain at his side should he want you, and you wanted his immense strength to lean on as well. You finally managed to gasp out from the pleasured haze “Steve, Do it… Claim me, make me yours.” 

Steve faltered over you, his hand flexing on your hips when he thought he heard you tell him to give you the bite, to officially claim you as his own. He clenched his jaw to keep from sinking a hold into you. It was a struggle for a second to keep the Alpha from taking over, he collapsed over you, pressing you down into the mattress, and hissing against your shoulder. “Little One, you want the bite?” His tongue dragged over your ear while you whimpered underneath him, nodding while twisting your head to the side to see him. 

“I'm ready Steve, I know Im yours.” You whispered, Steve’s gaze scanned you, from your swollen kissed lips from earlier to fluttering eyelids, but your eyes kept contact with his, nodding again to affirm that is what you wanted with him. Pushing up to his hands, he placed a deep kiss to the crook of your neck with a deep inhale against you, committing your scent of sweet honeysuckle and arousal to memory. A scent he would never get tired of. Pulling back further he eased his aching cock from you, leaving you lifting your head in question, a slight panic in your voice that he was leaving you. “Steve-” 

“It's okay, Little One, turn around. I want us to do this together.” His hands smoothed over your hips, and along the scars on your back till his hands folded over your shoulders and eased you back to kneel, your back pressing against your chest. “I got you Little One.” He nuzzled against your neck where he always favored, ever since he was first with you. Flicks of his tongue and press of his lips made your racing heart start to ease. 

Reaching behind you to press your fingers through his hair at the back of his head and tug on it to lift him from your neck. You hum gently while easing around to face Steve and cup his face in your hands to crash your lips to his, gliding tongues and teeth. You both tilted into the kiss to deepen it while Steve rode you to your back, his hands planted on each side of your head and his mouth traveled to the corner of your mouth to your jawline, a nudge of his nose had you tilting your head to the side so he could drag his tongue over your pulse and leaving his scent on you. “You sure this is what you want Little One?” He growled, and you squirm underneath him to wrap your legs around his waist with a nod. 

“I- We have never been more sure of anything before Steve.” you whispered and when he lifted his head to meet your eyes, you tilted your nose up to bump against his, your fingers remaining tangled in his hair. “I love you and want everyone to know it.” Your fingers slid down his neck and rubbed against his shoulders before gliding along his biceps. 

“I love you to Little One.” he shifted to one arm to grasp your hand, weaving his fingers with yours, then to the other with the same action. Steve eased himself forward to slide back into you, feeling you gasp and arch underneath him feeling him thick and full inside of you, the slow roll of his hips, dragging him back and forth. “Fuck Alpha…” You buried your face in against his arm as you rolled back to meet him. “What should I expect?” you whimper, flexing your fingers against his. 

Steve nipped lightly against your neck and you tipped your head back for him. He growled softly while lapping at your skin, rolling once more to fill you, press deeper to connect you two. “A complete connection Little One, we will feel one another with strong emotions even when we're apart.” another nip, and another sigh as your nerves flared with anticipation. “We won't have to be shifted for our wolves to be together.” Another promising nip and ghosting of lips against the hollow of your neck, sucking a mark there as he sped up his hips, grunting as he held back the desire to cum inside of you at that moment. “Are you ready for that Little One?” Steve asked, not willing to go through with it if you were having second thoughts. 

You were overwhelmed with love for the man claiming you, and you tightened around him, drawing him in closer. With his barely held control, it made him growl with his next thrust. “Mark me Steve Rogers.” A flash of your neck made his eyes flare yellow in the moment, and he dropped to scent against your neck. 

When he found the spot he wanted, one that was his favorite place to bury his face into because it was soft and warm, everything you were in his life, his tongue soothed over it, and a soft growl to prepare you rolled through his chest before his teeth laid claim, breaking through your skin. You immediately arched into him, curling yourself around his body with a pleasured scream. It left your Little Wolf howling while you came from the intense pleasure, and his body surged forward to keep your orgasm rolling through you in waves. It felt like fire and ice burned from your clenching core, and laced your body with licks of contrast, making you wither and hold onto Steve more. You sought out Steve's firmness to keep from losing yourself, and your head buried in against his shoulder, breaking a pleasured sob into the muscle. His hand broke from yours and cupped the back of your head, each surge rocking you into your mate. The urge to return the bite overcame you, and on his shoulder you laid your own mark, which sent Steve spiraling over the edge. His hips started to stutter to a stop while he buried his seed into you, groaning as he sunk over you. 

The explosion in your mind was another pleasure all its own, leaving you seeing spots in your vision even when you had your eyes screwed shut and your hand not pinned down with his hand, was wrapped around Steve’s side, clutching yourself to him till there wasn't any space between both of your sex blissed bodies. 

Your Little Wolf was tentative in the new connection you and Steve shared, lowering to her belly waiting to see if the Alpha would come, and sure enough the silver Alpha nudged against her, the Little Wolf rolling and nipping under his chin while rubbing against him with excited whines and yips. 

You could feel him, not in the same way you felt your own Little Wolf, but the sensation was thrilling. Steve was the first to let go, gentle with a rub of his hand along your hip and a soothing caress of his tongue against your broken skin to clean off the blood the bite brought. He groaned at the warm iron taste. You unclench your jaw and let go as well, placing a kiss against the mark while sliding your hand up and down his back gently which was still rippling under your fingertips, tracing the marks you left on him gently. “I can feel your wolf Steve.” you whisper in his ear, and Steve lifted his chest off yours, tucking himself up on his elbows, his hands cupping your face, and thumbs gliding over your cheeks, smiling down at you. 

“I feel her to Y/N, she's as much a part of me as he is of you.” Tipping his head to catch your lips, he circled an arm around your waist while pulling up, bringing you with him till you were straddled against his lap while wrapping your arms around his neck to stay in place. Steve couldn't stop his hands from gliding over your curves, the smooth skin along your lower back and over the swell of your hips and down along your thighs. You tentatively touch your neck, feeling the raised heated skin from where Steve bit you, your fingertips tracing the indents where his teeth sunk in. “Do you want to go see it YN?” Steve asked as he grasped your hips, ready to ease you off him now that he was no longer knotted in you, and was safe for you to move. 

“Yea, I want to see it, this is the first bite that was my choice, I want to admire it.” You gave a shy grin, and Steve felt a burst of satisfaction in his chest. You were so happy in this moment, and he was effectively feeling it as well. Easing you off his lap and you tumbled out of the bed, to approach the dresser mirror, lifting your hair back to see where Steve claimed you as his. 

In the mirror, Steve could see your face break into a smile, placing your palm over it. He moved to sit on the edge of the bed, and you twisted on your toes to approach him. Spreading his thighs for you to step through, he let his hands slide up the back of your thighs while your own fingers slid through his hair and down till your palms pressed against the underside of his jaw, tilting his face to look up at you. “Thank you for choosing me Alpha.” 

Steve's fingers dug into the back of your thighs. “I would choose you again and again my Omega.” for the first time, he labeled you as his other half, the omega wolf to his alpha wolf. In the connection, you both could hear your wolves singing your bonding song. 

“Oh it's going excellent, the asset was well worth the wait.” Brock smirked into the phone as he looked in the large cell used to contain their weapon. “Hold on, I will show you how efficient he is.” Turning the phone around, he tilted the phone so the camera could face into the cell, and he barked out an order. “Go get that Stark man… the one they call Happy. Let the Winter Wolf have some fun with him.” Quickly the hydra agent he ordered went to collect their victim while Brock continued to speak into the phone. “It took a while to break him in but once we did, we unleashed a killer. I had no idea he even had it in him, and makes me wonder now if Rogers has that in him as well. They were trained in the same unit.” Brock heard the scuffle of footsteps behind him, and he swung open the cell door to shove Happy inside, sending him spiraling against the cement floor. With a clang, the door slammed shut and Happy pushed himself off the dirty ground, looking for any way to get out. 

“Rumlow, you know this is foolish, Tony will never let this go.” he grunted as he turned towards the bars. Rumlow crossed his arms over his chest, and smirked coldly. 

“You think Stark scares me any? Bigger picture Happy. Tony is nothing, an Alpha coming to the end of his time. Along with all the other packs across the country. That council shit they all live by will be brought down.” 

“Your fucking crazy Brock, I always knew it.” Happy growled softly, feeling the hairs on the back of his neck bristle. “Steve was right to take over your Pack.” 

Brock gave a laugh, banging on the bars to make Happy jump. “Rogers, don't worry I have something just for him. Right now your time is up.” He backed up a bit and re-directed the camera. “Let the asset out.” 

There was a clank behind Happy, and he spun around, reaching up to tug at the collar preventing him being able to shift. Fear flooded him with a sour bitter taste in his mouth, cause he could sense the danger coming for him, still hidden in the shadows. Happy’s Wolf was chained, but his fear made him struggle against the magic binding him with panicked whimpers, while Happy tried his best to see where the attack would come from. A loud snarl echoed from the room and Happy backed into a corner, trying to get as far away as possible now, giving his own warning to stay back. “Get back!” he panted in panic, still now knowing exactly where the beast would be coming from. The large White Wolf padded out, his yellow eyes honed in on Happy while licking his jaws with a bright pink roll of his tongue. “Bucky, fuck we know each other.” Happy tried pleading. Brock behind him burst into a laugh, remarking. “That isn't Bucky, not anymore.” The White Wolf flickered his ears back and forth, studying the quivering man before him and Brock’s almost bored tone filled the silence. “Ubiystvo” Kill. 

It all happened so fast, just enough time for Happy to throw up his hands to try to block his throat, and a streak of white became a mauling set of jaws and rage filled snarls rose over Happy's screams while it tore into him, teeth cutting into flesh and snapping through bones. Within seconds the White Wolf got to his throat and gave a whiplashing shake of his victim, crashing his body against the bars, Happy went limp and dropped to the ground as blood flooded pristine white fur, and red seeped to pool around the wolf’s paws. Brock couldn't help the grin plastered on his face, the wolf before him waited for directions. “You can go back now. Get!” and with that, the White Wolf turned and retreated back to where he came from.

Someone spoke on the phone, and Brock brought it back up to his ear. 

“Oh yes, he will be in the field any day now. We just have to affirm his trigger words and Soldat will be ready for use.”  

It was several days after Steve had given you the bite, your fingers unconsciously slipped along the fresh healing mark while you sat outside around the fire with other members of the pack later in the evening. The bite had ended up sending you into a heat which Steve kept you sated till finally you both came up for air days later, deciding that it was best to let the rest of the pack know you two were actually still alive. Sara gave a knowing grin before she brought her beer bottle to her mouth to drink and once you settled down next to her, she handed one over to you. “Welcome to the Pack, officially now Y/N.” She said and laughed softly while throwing her arm around your shoulder when you sputtered on your beer bottle, glaring at her. Your eyes glanced across the fire at Steve while he wandered around, catching up on what's been going on since the two of you had been locked up in the cabin together. 

“Thanks Sara, it was time. I know this is home, and I don’t have any desire to be anywhere else.” You took another swig while Steve from across the large bonfire seemed to catch a scent, tilting his head while talking to some of the logging crew. His eyes roved over the crowd till they fell on you through the flames crackling between them, and Steve smiled to himself before he turned back to his packmates. 

“I will see you all up there in the morning, first thing.” he excused himself from the small group and wandered slowly around the fire, talking to a few others till he reached You and Sara. 

“Ladies…” He greeted on the sly, pulling you up out of the chair and falling into it to pull you in his lap. 

“Alpha, been a while.” Sara said slyly while Sam came up behind her, plucking her beer bottle from her hand and taking a swig from it. 

“Now Baby, be nice. This is still the honeymoon stage.” Sam teased and Steve tightened his hold a bit, shaking his head at your friends. 

“Weren't you just telling me a couple days ago that it just gets better?” Steve asked, and Sara tilted her head back to look up at Sam. 

“Aww, you really say that? Someones getting lucky later.” Sara sprang up and wrapped her arm around Sam's neck, nipping at his chin playfully. Steve turned his attention back to you, his chin brushing along your neck where he left his mark, pride swelling up that now everyone could see you were officially his. He was content, feeling your Little Wolf so close to the Alpha in this new bond. You purred softly feeling the brush of his beard and tilted your head with your eyes closed, enjoying the sensation he was making along your skin. 

Your fingers danced up his arm, over his shoulder and cupped the back of his neck, nuzzling back into the crook, cuddling up against him. You could feel your Little Wolf sigh in content in this moment, her muzzle stretched over the Alphas back. Her ears flickered back and forth feeling you stir in your mind. 

<You know we’re happy right, this is what it feels like.>

You snicker against Steve's neck listening to her. I know what it feels like. 

<I just wanted to be sure, because Im not letting this go anytime soon.> She curled up closer to her Alpha, who lifted his head to check on her before settling back down. 

Neither am I.

“What are you and the Little Wolf discussing?” Steve asked against your ear, and you lifted your head to smile at him. 

“About how happy we are Alpha.” you cupped his face and nipped at his lips, letting your forehead press against his. “That this was the best choice I’ve ever made for myself.” 

His hands were heavy when they pressed against the small of your back, making you arch into him, the fire crackling before you, the pack all around you… Steve had to admit, he was pretty fucking happy to.

The End 🐺

[aphrodite-would-be-proud]

i adore everything you write especially erwin like he’s my number one and u write him so well i keep coming back<3 would love to hear your thoughts on the different types of dates he would take you on :)) ty and i hope you’re well !!

Omfg I really needed to hear this today :( thank you so much💛 you're too kind.

Im so happy to hear that I'm write Erwin i a good way! I've actually been thinking about his character a lot! My Erwin posts actually get the least notes bc he's just underappricated, tho imma make sure to write him more from now on just for you 🥰

I actually really liked this request idea so imma split it in two part bc i don't wanna make a long post

Type of dates with Erwin PT.1 {pt.2 in masterlist}

{ Erwin x reader | tw: none | fluff, romance | modern }

{ "La Lettura" 1873 by Antonio Mancini 1852 - 1930 }

Ideal dates : these are dates he plans up ahead, makes sure they go smoothly and you're both are having fun. He really looks forward to these dates, they're like an event for him. He saves them up for important occasions like your anniversary, valentine's day, birthday, etc.

1. Romantic dinner by candle lights: he's a sucker for classics and romance cliches. Once a month or so, when you're both free. He'd make a reservation at a fancy restaurant, a secluded table with multiple candles and a nice view of the night sky waiting for you.

You'd both dress us, he'd be a gentleman all the way and open the doors for you, tell you how precious you look while kissing your hand. Maybe even a bouquet of fresh flowers if he's feeling extra.

The night would be spent quietly, talking while drinking wine as your food is getting ready. You two could talk together forever and not get bored, he also could listen to you talk about your passions all day.

At dessert time, he slowly falls in love with you again when you offer him a piece of yours, he'll gladly eat it off your fork. You hold hands under the table and he circles his thumb against yours.

When going home, he'd wrap his arm around your waist, your head on his shoulder. It's the perfect night.

2. Picnic near the lake at sunset, ends with stargazing: this usually takes place in spring or summer, maybe even autumn. When the weather is just perfect and the sky is just clear enough. You both prepare a basket before hand, he wears a light blue shirt to match his eyes.

You arrive around lunch time, having picked a nice place under a tree to shield you from the sun. The sound of children playing in the distance quieting down as time goes on. You both prepared each other's favourite food before hand.

It's around sunset when he wraps the blanket you bought with you around you, the wind having picked up. He kisses your forehead before pulling you closer to his side. You watch the sunset together as the ducks in the lake swim lazily around.

When it's completely dark, is when you finally lay down together, facing the sky. You point to a certain formation and he tangles his fingers with yours before guiding them to the next, he knows a lot about the stars. He shows you the fading ones who's only remains are ghosts of their pasts, he also shows you the newly formed ones who's light is just reaching us.

With your head on his chest, his calm deep voice talking about the stars and the warmth the blanket is offering, you fall asleep.

You wake up in the passenger seat on the ride home, glancing to the side you can see him driving with a smile on his face, he looks happy, relaxed even. You go back to sleep.

3. Going to see a musical together: it's one of the dates he really looks forward too, he's actually a huge musicals nerd but only his close friends know that. So what's better than mixing his favourite thing to watch with his favourite person? You!

He knows the tickets are expensive but he promises you it's worth the inconvenience, so you book two seats online.

When you arrive, you sit next to each other while the room is slowly getting filled. You can hear the actors getting ready off-stage but can't make out what they're saying. Erwin is next to you looking through the play flyer they gave and explaining the story to you.

That day, is the most day you've seen Erwin laugh from the depth of his heart. He'd look at you each time something really funny happens. Squeeze your hand a bit whenever an intense scene is happening. Bring your hand against his lips for a second when a romantic scene is happening.

He's just fully emerged into it. When you see the shine in his eyes, the way his lips curl up just a bit, is when you realise how beautiful Musicals are.

It becames a habit to visit one each year on his birthday.

4. Go to a museum or an art gallery: one thing you've learned from being with Erwin, is that he can turn the most boring things interesting. He just has a way with words and a matching deep voice to go with it, he could read the ingredients on the back of a shampoo bottle and you'd still listen.

Naturally, it was just a matter of time before one of you suggested visiting a museum. You pick a day when not a lot of people would be there.

He makes it fun, interesting and actually educational. You've been walking peacefully in long corridors with paintings and other forms of art displayed around each corner. He seems to have endless knowledge about each piece, telling you both a secret funny fact about it and a base knowledge.

The perfect tour guide, he encourages you to participate and even guess information based on the art and how it makes you feel. He smiles whenever you get something right and chuckles when you don't, it's a win-win situation.

5. Horseback riding: this one happens whenever you visit his parents who retired in the country side, they're really lovely people and seem to genuinely like you. Not to mention how Erwin just shows you off proudly to his parents like you're made out of pure gold.

It's a quiet small town that makes you forget about the city, the air is refreshing and the people are kind, the patries are delicious and the baker is kind. You two could get lost walking near fields of flowers for hours.

He assures you that you have all the time to try everything else, for now he's excited to show you something he's been doing since he was a kid.

The people at the stable seem to recognise him, even the horses are kinder to him than you. You're a bit jealous you won't lie, but he just guides through befriending a certain white horse with braids in it's hair. You even manage to feed them some sugar cubes.

You've underestimate just how tall a horse is, so now when faced with the option to ride on its back you almost back away. Meanwhile Erwin looks really natural and comfortable just getting on one, is this the same man who didn't know you could turn your phone screen sideways till you showed him?

So you end up sharing a horse, he wraps your hands around his waist and tells you to trust him, it will be okay. And just when a glimmer of hope rises in your heart that maybe this isn't as scary as you thought, that man somehow makes the horse go so fast it almost rivals the speed of sound, at least in your mind it did.

It's the most fun and adventures date so far, your heart is pumping by the end of the day as adrenaline runs through your veins. You're both panting and he seems like a kid on Christmas.

Thankfully his parents somehow foresaw this happening and prepared dinner for both of you while apologising for their son. Soon enough, they arm you with enough embarrassing childhood stories about Erwin for later use.

6. Visiting historical spots: it's something his father suggested to you both while you're getting the car ready to drive home. Soon enough you were discussing it while on the road and both of you seemed to be on-board.

It's an actually entirely different experience to see these places in person than in photos in school history books. Everything is so much bigger than you expected, so much older and all the details.

You can see all the different angles just by walking around, both of you seem to be entranced at just how strangely alluring it is to see this great build and know it's more than 500 years old, even Erwin seems to be lost for words for once.

The memories you made, the silly photos you took, the places you held hand and kissed in. It's all was just so lovely. And so it becomes a yearly tradition that you both save up for.

[gayspock]

also naurr okay thoughts before i go into ep 9

- i think ok. the issue NOW is once u start thinking of it, omg, u just dont stop. like oh christ bc with CAITLYN... sigghhhQDOIPSJGDJ. i feel eye-rolly at myself now bc ik its not that deep but omg u kno when u get mildly annoyed for good reason but then it just snowballs bc ur a little petty pest?<3HELP I cant be so mean over this blue haired little girlie...

- but idk maybe i am not. like i think its just. im staring at her more and i think she just really feels... emblematic of the weaker points of the show, you know? which i feel, well, bad for. but like if you had to summarise what it is abt arcane that holds it BACK for me... caitlyn wouldnt be a far shout. and i mean thats not AS dramatic as it sounds: bc like ive said, i like the show! its funnn and theres lots of good stuff in here<3 but the parts that are really holding it back..

- like ive said. the way it plays itself so safely- you know? which again. not much else u can expect from a netflix league of legends show. but also like... nonetheless it is still trying to explore, like, the ideas of corruption and inequality and "class" (im putting THAT in quotation marks) but it goes about it in a very. honestly shallow way where its really not... deeply criticising any of it which again, idk what else to expect from this and i didnt expect more, but also like. when thats a core principle of ur show and ur going to be milktoast abt it yah.... the show itself is gonna be milktoast, yah?<3

- and caitlyn is like at the epicentre of a lot of that. like we have no actual proper criticisms of wealth when it comes to her- not really. and instead shes like... the savior voice of reason figure. like i said. that part before really bothered me where you have ekko and everyone in the firelights who've all been fighting and surviving down there for YEARS now and you walk her in and have her be the "did you guys know that. violence is... bad!" person like idc idc idc... its like i just dont care, girlie.

- and like in general you know. with the clean cut OH THE UNDERCITY IS ALL THE POOR PEOPLE AND THE OVERCITY IS THE RICH PEOPLE and. goodness you must forgive me- its obvious im a stem kid, with an unscrewed head, so im not so good at laying out all my thoughts coherently like this- but again its all a very superficial... well these are the rich people and those are the poor people without... going into very much depth at all, just these like monoliths for the oppressed and the not oppressed. a black and white this and that. but again without- without actually picking it apart!? its all these vague swathes of "theyre poor down there! and its violent down there! we are letting them down!" and its like uh. c-coool............................... and i think its bc you know. if you did actually HAVE to develop the underlying reasons behind tht you would have to get into the unsafe, riskier territory and well... characters like caitlyn would most surely be less and less compelling.

- bc like i said before when also criticisng caitlyn. like. they said it themselves. she abused her power as a cop and as a rich person to sorta just go off whilst on the job, undermine upper authority, and do whatever the fuck she want and she gets out of all of tht bc of who she is. and you can be like "oh! but she was doing it for GOOD!" as they said in the show- but its like noww... exactly, now lets discuss THAT for a second. bc its like no i agree she wasnt doing anything wrong-wrong, but still its like... again. a way in which caitlyn just sort of exists as this barely questioned icon privilege, but then the show also stakes so much onto her to deliver and push forwards plot as a person and im just... yawn. and surely the show wouldnt as, like i said, i dont expect that much of it but its again this very... sigh. you know. SAFE sort of thing. and its the sort of thing that always happens in these fantasy worlds, where they create a make believe the oppressed group and the not oppressed group and try to build up this big thing but its all just sort of smoke and mirrors and not. really much at all more than that

- AND ITS LIKE. it slike- again hey. im gonna reassert. its like... its fine. i guess? its just.. another overly safe attempt to do this whole song and dance. so much is- like jesus. its par for the course nowadays. a kinda emptiness which god thats sobering. but i guess its dressed up in a fun way. and whilst im not gonna come away obsessed with all of this, like ive been saying, i guess im having fun watching it and i'll prolly stick around for the next season and rb some gifsets about depending on the overall temperature of the thing bc lord knows i havent looked in those tags. and i hope im not coming off as too pretnetious lol omg- bc its like... literallyyy i get it if it just scratches a certain fun part for you, bc i have said man the design of this thing is wonderful and i guessif none of this rlly means much then hey. i can see why a lot of ppl would be obsessed with it but i guess its just not wholly clicking for me

- i will also say though. again i do think... not just with safeness. im doubling down on what i said before, actually. i think its well-paced in terms of hey! im not getting fuckin bored here, and you are giving even amount of time to everyone and i do think ur utilising ur time well for what you DO have but ehhhhh gosh idk. i still can sort of... TASTE... a much deeper well developed show, had they more time. you know what i mean? LIKE- i guess its good as it is but its like. man you could elevate so much of this if there was just more dedication to some things.

- like i think medarda is one prime example of like. shes JUST a little undercooked for who she is. like we've got a good idea of her! but my GOD if we could just get more of her- oh fuck, please... bc i just feel like we got some really good moments but i dont know i want more. i want more complexity in here- and more of this and that andt his an dt.. im not sure what exactly but it just feels like shes bigger than what she has been onscreen like gosh

- (which also on tht note is another thing i'd like to clarify with caitlyn like. bc the thing is i wouldnt care if she was a richgirl cop and hell i'd be into the push and pull with her and vi if they, again, just owned that right and weren't so piss cold with it all. like i think you can have these types of characters for fucking sure- just... frame them better narratively you know. yeesh. although granted theres a lot to unspool there wrt like whate- YOU KNOW I CANT EVEN FINISH THESE THOUGHTS MY HEADS MELTING ON THIS line of thinking lemme omggg.)

- but yeah also viktor sighhh. i havent talked of viktor. im just SAD you know bc also with the whole- again... i think its just starting to feel worse and again im able-bodied so taking my perspective with a grain of salt, yah, like... it just isnt sitting right with me how much theyre connecting disability with monstrosity. and i guess its just the tired old, bloody trope of fuckin- hghhrhgh cyberpunk is when YOU LOSE PARTS OF YOUR SOUL WITH BODY MODIFICATIONS! but recoloured and its like again. i think if they did properly have the time to explore this whole thing better you could right that more than what theyre doing now but its like godddd bc literally every single disabled character is either viktor OR theyre a violent undercity person and theyre all succumbing to the shimmer and idk man idk sniff nsiff...........

- speaking of. idk if anyone cares. m besties are vi, ekko and viktor i think. my little guys. :3 i love ekko a lot actually.......... i want more of him. less of, like, whatever the hell caitlyns weird savior bs is and more of ekko fighting for his god damn LIFE please<3 BBYYYYY. god the former espec cially- that shit ROCKED so badly.

- speaking of. idk if anyone cares. m besties are vi, ekko and viktor i think. my little guys. :3 i love ekko a lot actually.......... i want more of him. less of, like, whatever the hell caitlyns weird savior bs is and more of ekko fighting for his god damn LIFE please<3 and ofc i do laso love jinx oh teehee.. i like them. fun guys.

- i do find jayce interesting too. him and merdara. ive said wht i said abt merdara- GOD, i'd fucking love her way more if they did just push her a bit and you know. i like jayce a whole fuckn lot too i think the others are just a bit above them both rn LOL.

- anyways last ep soon i might hmmm i might give it a bit first let myself chill omg i should get hot choccy....

[tothemeadow]

HHGGOoOoo MAYbe (im aware its a little late to ask) KYouJuRou day 6?? all? of them? all the prompts. im very intrigued to see what you would make with him! and could it be MAybe an AFAB reader but gender neutral? if thats possible!

Day 6: angry/hate sex / hair pulling / biting

warnings: NSFW, semi-public sex, possessive behavior, slight degradation

words: 1,417

(a/n): art is not mine, (I’m sorry if this didn’t turn out the way you wanted! I already had it written and I reread the request and I think I may have messed up ;-;)

When it comes to Kyojuro, trust is key.

Don’t doubt for a second that he doesn’t trust you; if he didn’t, you wouldn’t be wearing that band around your ring finger. It’s just that, well, he doesn’t trust others. More specifically, he doesn’t trust others around you.

And, as the crowd of strangers dance in front of him, the strobing lights reflecting off their sweaty faces, his unease is at its greatest. The two of you agreed to tag along to a nightclub with your fellow coworkers; schoolwork has been rather trying lately, and all of you need a break even if it’s just for one night. The bass of the speakers thump loudly, shake the entire building with its blasting music. Kyojuro has to keep a firm grip on his bottle if he doesn’t want it to fall off the table.

Around him, some of his closest friends and coworkers chatter and throw back their own drinks. Tengen’s laughing at something Obanai said, his entire face scrunched up. Sanemi seems to be lecturing Gyomei and Giyuu about something (Kyojuro just hopes it isn’t about some complex formula). Then there’s Kanae, Tamayo, Obanai’s girlfriend Mitsuri, and you. You’re giggling along to whatever your group is discussing. Kyojuro’s face melts into a fond smile when you catch his eye.

“Oi,” Tengen says, his snapping fingers appearing in front of Kyojuro’s face. “Over here, Romeo. We’re here to have fun.”

“And by fun, you mean black out drunk,” Obanai utters. Even so, he takes a swig of his own beer. “Remind me why I drink this shit.”

“Obanai!” Mitsuri calls out. She appears by her boyfriend’s side, a bright smile on her face. “We girls are going dancing. Do any of you guys want to join?”

Obanai physically stiffens at the proposal. “Hell no.”

“Aw,” Mitsuri says with a pout, “Sanemi’s going! If he can do it, you can too.”

Kyojuro listens in on the conversation with interest as he continues to chug at his own drink. The music changes to something bass heavy and fast – something sexy. He can see the sea of people swaying as one, partners finding each other in the crowd and grinding against one another. Immediately his eyes find you in the crowd; you’re swaying along to the music, your hips moving fluidly. His mouth waters at the little black dress you chose to wear, your legs looking longer than usual and your cleavage pushing out of the top. Your body is calling, and he’ll damned if he doesn’t answer.

A patch of white hair catches his attention, though. Sanemi slithers through the crowd, his hands landing on your shoulders. Turning to him, you two share a short conversation before you’re turning away again, although there’s a mischievous smile playing on your lips. Kyojuro’s throat turns dry as he watches Sanemi glide his hands down to your hips; he certainly doesn’t miss the way Sanemi hangs onto you in a possessive hold. The muscle in Kyojuro’s jaw ticks.

Swiftly, he takes another drink of his beer, reminding himself that you would never dream of cheating on him – especially not with a guy like Sanemi. Still, he can’t help the jealousy that makes his blood boil. It should be him out there, his hands on your hips. He nearly chokes on his beer when he watches Sanemi guide your hips back into his. Throwing your head back, you press your breasts upwards, and your arms slink back to entangle your fingers in Sanemi’s hair.

“Holy shit,” Tengen breathes. Kyojuro’s eyes snap to his friend. Tengen’s eyes are glued to you and Sanemi, though, and a wicked smirk is playing on his face. He looks way too amused for Kyojuro’s taste.

Mitsuri gasps at the scene before her. Her eyes flicker between Kyojuro and you, her hands covering her mouth. Obanai simply looks unimpressed.

“Damn, Kyojuro,” Tengen drawls as he lazily takes a sip of his drink, “does your spouse move like that in the bedroom?”

That’s it.

Slamming his bottle onto the table, he swiftly shoots up from his chair. Tengen’s cackling like a wild man as Kyojuro breaks through the crowd, shouldering his way between sweaty bodies and groping hands. Sanemi’s face is buried in the crook of your neck as he finally nears you two. Reaching out, he rips you from Sanemi’s grasp; you let out a startled shriek as you collide into his solid chest.

“Don’t you think that’s a little much, Sanemi?” Kyojuro growls. You can feel it rumble through his chest.

“No hard feelings, man,” Sanemi says, raising his hands in surrender. Kyojuro narrows his eyes at him. “Besides, I know better than to piss you off. I don’t feel like getting my ass handed to me again,” he says, muttering the last part. He cocks an eyebrow. “We’re just having fun. Right, (y/n)?”

“Y-yeah,” you sputter. You yelp as his large hand wraps around your wrist in an iron grip.

He tugs you away from Sanemi, away from the crowd. You’re left rambling apologizes as he leads you down the dimly lit hallways of the club. Shoving the door open to the bathroom, he quickly scans the surrounding area – empty. Perfect.

Pushing you forward, he slams the door shut and slides the bolt into place. Turning on his heel, he looks to you, a dark gleam in his eyes. “What was that,” he growls. It’s not a question – it’s a demand. You’re smart enough not to talk back.

“I just wanted to dance,” you tell him, your voice small.

Stepping forward, Kyojuro shoves you against a wall. His hand grasps onto your chin, forcing you to look up at him. “And you had to settle for Sanemi, huh?” He clicks his tongue in annoyance. “I don’t like that, babe.”

“I’m sorry-“

Fingers entangling in your hair, he yanks your head back, exposing the slope of your neck and the swell of your breasts. “Cockslut,” he grunts. You cry out as he surges in, his teeth sinking into the tender skin. You clutch onto his shoulders, fingers desperately clawing at the fabric of his shirt. With a growl, he shoves a thick thigh between your legs, pressing up against your pussy. “You’re not happy unless all attention’s on you, huh? I bet you were just glowing knowing that I was watching Sanemi basically dry hump you. Filthy thing.”

He rocks you against his muscular thigh, ignoring your desperate pleas. He bites you over and over, leaving imprints and bruises nearly everywhere. With a grunt, his hangs grasp onto your thighs, hiking you up around his hips. Your back rubs against the wall, dragging against the dingy tile. In quick movements, his pants are unzipped, cock springing out, and your panties are shoved to the side.

A loud groan echoes throughout the room as he stuffs his cock inside your pussy. He fucks into you at a fast, relentless pace, his hands yanking you down to meet him thrust for thrust. He holds your head back by your hair, both his lips and his teeth trailing the pounding vein.

“You’re mine, you got it?” he growls. “Everybody in this damn club is going to know who you belong to.”

“Yes, Kyojuro, yes!”

His thumb drops down between you two and seeks out your clit. A sharp cry emits from your throat as he rubs tight little circles into your sensitive nub. You keen, your back arching into him. Your velvety walls suck in his cock with each stroke; the swollen head beats against your cervix, bringing the most sinful moans from the depths of your chest.

“You wanna cum, babe?” Kyojuro snaps. “Say you’re sorry.”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Please, I wanna cum so bad-“

A few more brutal thrusts send you over the edge; your entire body trembles as your orgasm washes over you. You cry out Kyojuro’s name, your walls clenching down on him even tighter. A throaty groan erupts from his throat as his thrusts turn sloppy, the wet noises of your sexes driving him absolutely insane.

“Fuck, babe, you’re so tight.”

An animalistic growl sounds in your ear and then Kyojuro’s cumming; thick, hot spurts of cum fill your insides, his cock driving it deeper in your cunt. A chorus of moans echo in the bathroom, but neither of you care.

Outside the bathroom door, Tengen snickers. He sends Sanemi a cocky grin and a thumbs-up. “Good work, dude! Kyojuro the Pussy Pounder is back in action!”