#IM A PROPHET I PROPHESY

[cactibytes]

I can’t believe I predicted this

[n1ghtwarden]

yesterday i discovered orin really is wearing beef jerky

[spookykittenwrites]

Alright fuck it, I'm going to ignore good advice and make the post:

MW3 predictions

Either Soap or Ghost is confirmed queer in the form of an offscreen male romantic parter, either current or in the past, and the topic is never brought up again (a la Laswell's wife).

After the above, the chemistry between them is turned down a whole lot in a way that feels really awkward OR there is a love confession immediately before death a la Cas and super hell.

Gaz dies first (either alone or with another member of the 141) and this sparks Price going berserk and doing the most insane and immoral shit imaginable. This either gets him killed, get other people killed, or both.

Roach is back and they give him a bunch of talking lines, removing any hope of a canon non-verbal character.

If Farah and Alex are back and seen together, they either make any chemistry between them nil or somehow work into the plot that Farah isnt/is no longer Muslim (I hate this idea but it's what I think they'd do if they put them in a relationship).

Laswell's wife is literally never mentioned again.

The summary of the plot is the Russians did it and the United States has done nothing wrong ever in its life (except this one American guy but he was brainwashed or otherwise convinced by the Russians).

The Ghoap dynamic will be heavily played up in advertising including how the actors talk about it only for it to be 0.2% gay and way less obvious about anything going on between Ghost and Soap than in MW2. We will very likely be queerbaited I'm calling it right now.

All of the above is false and I will not be dodgeballed by Apollo. Please I'm begging let everyone be happy and queer or we will throw a fit and boycott the game istfg Activision.

This is all based on how I think Blizz Activision will handle its new COD fan base which comes from experience as a long time Blizz games fan (OW fandom started in 2016 or so then switched to WoW a few years later. I've been here a while.)

I would really love to be wrong, but on the occasion that I'm not a) yall will need someone to blame and im okay being that person and b) I wanna be able to say "I told you so" because I'm petty like that lmao

[multiplicityofmind]

when YOU say vision board you mean a moodboard like a coward

when I say vision board I mean the tablet on which I scrawl my prophesies we are NOT the same

[girlhelpicf]

WHAT DID I SAY WHAT DID I FUCKING SAY

[icarusredwings]

Wade, in phycosis: Im a prophet.

Logan: a what?

Wade: PROPHET? I prophesy? I have sight? I SEE?

Logan, mentally: Kurt is not gonna like this..

Logan: You are not a prophet, you are just dilerous!

Wade: Out of my way bitch boy! Marvel Jesus will save you all!

Wade: *Falls off of a building*

Also Wade, all 207 of his bones shattered: ...ouch..

Logan: didn't see tht did ya-

[nataliesscatorccio]

Dead cabin guy and his technicolor dreamcoat have haunted me since the wardrobe reveal in season two, and today im going to make it everyone's problem.

Travis wears the coat first. He and Natalie take the blessing and go out to look for Javi. Travis hallucinates (prophesies?) that Javi is dead and buried beneath the snow, but Natalie shows him it's only a fox. Travis finds the strange, mossy tree stump. The next day Travis has strong feelings about which direction is best to search for Javi in, and we don't see more of him until Nat reveals the bloody pants. Not that weird, all things considered. New season, new wardrobe additions. Hiking on a caloric deficit with PTSD, you'll probably hallucinate. Pretty standard stuff.

Then Nat wears the coat. She takes it to lay Jackie's bones to rest at the crash site, and while she wears it she sees (hallucinates? prophesies? I'm not sure!) the white moose that they'll later lose to the lake (ergo the hunt, ergo Javi dies for real but more on that later).

We get to Old Wounds, the hunting competition, and Lottie wears the coat now. You see where I'm going with this but just to be thorough: she enters the realm of death dreams, talks with Laura Lee, almost freezes to death.

Episode five. Melissa wears the coat. Maybe that's not important! Maybe it's just to show that they all share the wardrobe, and that the side characters are as equally All In This Together as the main characters are. Or it could mean something that a peripheral character, wearing important wardrobe, framed in antlers (not unlike Travis in 2.01), has the line "maybe he did die, and that's his ghost." It's a little suspicious, and at this point starts to feel like a pattern.

Who wears it next, who wore it best!? That's right baby, it's Paul! For his dreamworld drifter, hallucination hunk Coach Ben Scott. Nicholas Urfe himself. Ben spends almost all of his time in a dream, until *drumroll please* Paul, very pointedly, takes the coat and walks out the door. "Where do you think you are, Ben?" he puts the coat on. "You had to have known you couldn't stay here forever. [...] What matters now is that you aren't welcome here anymore." Following Paul means committing to death (to dream), and until interruption that's the choice Ben makes. Because letting Paul (and the coat) go would mean committing entirely to reality.

Of course, the pièce de résistance is something I didn't even notice until I went looking for it. The first dozen times I watched, I thought that after Lottie's beating Shauna brought her a blanket. "Lottie's cold." But she doesn't. She brings her the coat. Lottie is laying with it when, in a fever dream, she witnesses/hallucinates/prophesies parts of the hunt.

It's there again (on the back of the chair) when she sits by the fire and speaks for the wilderness, appointing Nat their queen. Ben watches, having woken from the dream himself, as they all bow to Natalie and leave reality behind for good.

Of course, there are a lot of times when characters hallucinate strange things in the cabin while not wearing the coat, because they're all starving to death and traumatized. Mari. Shauna. Akilah. But in addition to that, it seems like a pattern worth noting that in each instance where a character wears the technicolor coat, the line between the real and the imagined seems to blur with more ease. Does dead cabin guy's technicolor dreamcoat help the Yellowjackets connect to the dream realm?

I'll be brief here with the biblical parallel: blah blah Joseph is the favorite son (you were always its favorite), his father gives him a technicolor coat (they're nothing special, they don't change color in the cold or anything). blah blah Joseph starts having prophetic dreams etc etc his jealous brothers throw Joseph down a pit (the wilderness chose) and bring his bloodstained coat back as false proof of his death (hanging on a branch. a couple miles back). You get my drift.

Does it mean anything? Who knows. But in a series where wardrobe is such an integral part of the storytelling, it felt worth paying attention to.

[underratedgrapeju1ce]

IM A PROPHET.

PROOOPHET PROPHET

I PROPHESY

[jude5bellingham]

Jude is sitting on the apex of a dune, leaning back, using his arms to support his weight, taking in the waves of sand created by the worms. Although he missed the sights of the rugged terrain and water that caladan offered, arrakis had its own unique charm, with the wind slowing down, the sand and spice being dragged in the air looking almost mist-like. You approach him silently from behind, but he starts before you can say anything.

"a messiah?" jude can only scoff and shake his head, the idea that he is a messiah is so ridiculous to him. He was hardly equipped to lead his house (when he was a duke-to-be), much less a population of religious fanatics who believed him to be their prophesied saviour.

Your eyes stay set on him, unblinking. You don't say anything, hoping that the silence will give him the time and ability to digest his fate. You hope that in the silence, that he will hear it.

"they can't be serious..." his gaze drops to the floor, suddenly understanding the gravity of the situation which he is in. Your gaze drops with his as you're unable to do anything other than nod, you're sure that he desires some form of comfort but you aren't able to provide him with it, not now, especially not now. he stands up, his back to you, staring at the horizon in front of him created by the varying dunes of sand.

"Tell me..." he starts, keeping his back to you, standing completely still, "do you believe, honestly, that I am the messiah? Your messiah?"

You take a step to stand next to him, huffing a breath out as you do, carefully sifting through the words running through your head to attempt to form a sentence light enough for him to hold onto for now, fearing that a heavier statement may only cause him to bend under its weight.

"I don't know..." you begin, Jude's head turning to look at you, "I think a messiah is just about hope, you know, something to believe in…"

His eyes watch as your chest rises and falls while you think carefully about your choice of words, treading lightly around the idea of him being a hero, prophet, and messiah. He juts his bottom lip out to urge you to continue your train of thought, he’s sure that whatever words you speak next will be far more intelligible than anything he has going on in his brain currently anyways.

"You've seen it Jude. The way people look at you, the looks that your presence commands…” You turn towards him as you speak, finally meeting his gaze, “You inspire hope and I think that’s more than enough.”

“Even if it's false?” he turns towards to look at the horizon again, his question leaves his lips as a quiet mumble, fearing any answer you could possibly give him to his question.

“Hope is never false.” you state, copying him and looking at the horizon, “Not to the believer.”

He can't help but chew on his bottom lip, thinking about it all. so ridiculous. all of it. Just a while ago he was the son of the Duke, now he is expected to lead the Fremen to freedom. How was he supposed to manage that?

hi this is a short part from my dune!jude au 😭 i havent proofread it but im about 3k words in but i wanted to see if i'd get any engagement!! thank you so much if you've read this far 🤍🤍 please let me know your thoughts

[chaos-bisexual]

the way i manifested the buddie 8x06 ending scene and all its implications by adding this song to my buddie spotify playlist… IM A PROPHET! I PROPHESY!!!!!

[museofthepyre]

BASICALLY this is all ROUGH and INCOHERENT IM STILL WORKING ON IT!!!

Basically it mainly focuses on Eljiah (warlock tiefling) who comes from a tiefling clan (cult? Up to you to decide) that worships a dead god (5 seconds to guess who that it) and ooOooaoh rumor has it He has Risen so Elijah goes out to find that guy!!!

On the other side of the world, there's Sydney (half elf circle of spores druid) and Jedidiah (wizard elf) doing God knows what until elijah shows up and basically recruits the two of them Aaahhh hijinks ensues

Theres a lot I still need to work on and think about but umm yeah the floor has been opened for questions 😁

I LOVE THIS OHMYGOD EEEEE OMGOMG… does this mean Elijah has fostered a successful cult? He has a congregation, followers? Or did the cult exist before him… if so, was Sydney pre-prophesied to be the risen god, or did Elijah just hone in on him and go “trust me guys this is him this is the one. Trust me bro. I’m a prophet”

Wizard Jedidiah is so perfect… I wanna see him in wizard attire… waitwait… imagine Elijah showing up to meet the two in his signature cheap wizard costume robe, all like “see my muse? I can be everything he is and MORE” /silly

[just-eyris-things]

today i was reminded that i wrote gw2 version of your immortal and called it my mortal and honestly i have so many questions. long post so read more goes riiiight here

spoiler alert: i am not ok after writing this post. i might have lost all my remaining braincells. i need a nap.

Hi my name is Ivory Light’ness Rememberance Swan Path and I have midbac long ivory hair (that’s how I got my name) with pink streaks and my eyes are blue like Gornag’s corruption. I am a werewolf but not ugly like a nornwolf but a cute one. I’m also a smart girl and I go to Queensdale Academy in Kryta and I will graduate soon - I’m nineteen. Im a prep and I am also a furry if you didn’t know - I am a werewolf with a cute ivory tail and I like Rytlock Brimstone, but that’s a secret so keep it to yourself you fucking goth trash :)

ok we started strong with meeting Ivory. ok. onto chapter 2

Goths are necromancers btw and they all are horny gor that trash-hearne guy who is a plant. I hate him because he steals Great GHrenth’;s job and bones for me and my fellow werewolves to chew on. That fucker.

chapter 2 is necrophobic

I smiled at Canach and he smiled at me, he was waiting there with his black racing raptor Pherraris.

Of course canach would drive a ferrari...

“Because I love her,” Canach sighed dramatically like a drama queen he was. Or maybe i should say drama KING because he was a MANLY MAN WITH CHEST HAIR. Well, maybe not hair, but leves… “BUT I THOUGHT WE WERE A THING, YOU CACTUS” Rytock growled after 5 minutes of deadly silence disrupted by moaning of the risen outside the gates of fort trinity. “Wait, arent you a thing with Logan??” asked Trashhearne, very confusedly. Garm and I looked at each other and i shrugged, he tilted his head. I looked at canach and he was looking at me and i looked at him and he looked at me.

someone pls write me a chart of all the relationships in this, im so lost

“It’s okay” i told him. “Are you new? Whoi are you?” i asked, my tail began to wag slightly with excitement. I loved meeting new people. “Ryland Steelcatcher, but people call me Jormand nowadays,” he confessed and sat next to me. “Why?” I gasped. “Because i had an affair with joelmag and they made me a ice werewolf!” he laughed excitedly and i yelled with joy.

Jormand and Joelmag............

“Ivory!” repeated Jormag “you shall kill the pact commander!” they ordered.  I gasped. “No! I could never do that to the commander! I love them!” i whined. The commander and their chisled abs, the commander and their hot voice adn theyr sexy hair and face and eyes and even if they had pancake ass they still had a cake (because a pancake is just another kind of cake ykno) and i couldnt rid the world of that sweet sweet cake!  “You gotta! Or i will never give up on destroying the world. I will never give it up, i will never let it go, i will never run around and desert it! The world shall be mine as the prophet hatusne miku prophesized!” jormag announced angrily and primordus jumped down the hole and looked at me angrily with eyes full of anger. He roared sexily. “Hatsune miku?!???!” i yelled. If hatsune miku prophesied that jormag was to inherit tyria then nothing could be done. I cried.

HATSUNE MIKU?!?!?!? at this point i am dead from cringe

I was trembling all day because of George. I was so sad that i couldnt focus on my cheerleader practice, so kashmir felt bad for me and made me a cheer captain to make me feel better. Everyone clapped and cheered but i couldnt stop crying. I was so worried about canach but i didnt wantr to kill the pact commander.

who the fuck is geoge???

“STOP MAKING OUT YOU SINFUL DEGENERATES!” yelled Anise from her window. I gasped and Jormand gasped too and then he started screaming in pain as his horns covered in ice again. The illusion was broken again. “Nooo, my horns are cold again!” he whined. “I THOUGHT YOU WERENT CORRUPTED ANYMORE” i yelled “I AM, I JUST USE MESMER MAGIC TO HIDE IT” he whimpered desperately “OH NO!” I exclaimed “WE NEED TO SAVE CANACH, JORMAG HAS HIM IN DUNGAREEES”

Ivory, is there anyone you still havent made out at that point. also canach in dungarees is an image. bless the typos.

“Rytlock, Logan!” we screamed, “you have to help us!” “Ryland!” Rytlock roared as he got up from his chair. “That’s not my name anymore and you are a shitty dad!”

you tell him ryland jormand

“Why are you wearing a maid outfit?!” i screamed and the commander looked at me and yelled in shock and blushed. “Ah! Ivory!’ the commander moaned surprised. “It’s my third job, i work in a maid caffe because pact doesnt pay me enough!” they admitted then looked at jormag “jormah! Prepare to die!” they yelled. 

this is the moment when i sigh. i have nothing more to say. i dont think anything can surprise me at this point. im going to see a doctor about my brain, brb

“How will i pay rent this week…?” i heard [the commander] say. I felt bad.  “Hey, commander?” i said. “Yeah?” “Maybe go teach at queesnddale academy?” i asked. “Ok” And thats how i saved the pact commander.

Thank you for your service Ivory

“Welcome to cat maid caffee, how can we meow you?” asked a big fluffy charr in a maid dress. I gasped. “Bangar ruinbringer?!?!??” I YELLED.

why.

But Jormand didnt listen. He unsheathed his sword and charged at us, but henstopped dead in his tracks. The door to the estate broke open with a kick and there was him! The hero of the hour. “I’m a scholar,” a voice said, “but…” It was… TRASH HEARNE! AND HE HAD A GUN!!!!!

please shoot me, Trahearne, I'm suffering here.

I agreed and went to his red raptor, Nersedes Ibony Stoneglow.

So Rytlock has a mercedes and named it after Ivory and Crecia. Oh, Rytlock.............

 the pale tree was there chillin on a hammock with sylvan puppies on her lap. “Yo whats up kids?” she asked, dressed in jeans and tshirt and had an unbuttoned plaid shirt like a cool mom, she even had basebal cap on top[ of her flowery head. “Hi mom” said canach grumpily. “Oh Przemysław! Youre home!!!”

Canach is polish. ok.

“Oh oh oh Canach, Canach! You sure are a CANach and not CANTnachN’T!"

I regret my life choices.

"What is this plant on your desk" he asked. I started sobbing. "It's spinach" i cried. The commandet said he likef spinch and took one leaf off and chewed on it.  "Noooo" i yelled "it's my boyfriend!!!"  the comandrer looked at me and then at the plant and then he lookef at me again and sajd "Go see academys psychiatrist, girl" and then he went on to teach more meth. I went to the psychiatris and i got sad. I entered the room and hasped. It was…THE COMMANDER DAWKKURRA THE SKIRT ALICIOUS. "Hi" she said "Hi" i said sadly as i hugged potnach. I was too depressed to be shocked that my syciatrist was a skrit and the pact commander. "Way you here?" "Commander told me to come." She tilted his head to the side looking away from their golden fidget spinner. "Wai?” heis noes twitched. "Arencha school psychologist?" I asked. “Me??” Dawkura looked at me confusedly. “Noo? I just like to play with my shineees all day. People come and talk problems but i dont cairn.” I couldn’t believe this. The academy was a sham! I hugged potnach. I wanted to smoke pot but i couldnt smoke my boyfriend even if his name was now potnach.

potnach.

I started crying desperately.

me too girl, me too

I was surrounded by Cheese. “No! Not the cheese! I’m lactose intolerant!” I screamed and the Cheeses spoke thus “Ivory Light’ness Rememberance Swan Path! To save the world from devastation of Jormag and their siblings you must find,... A HORSE!” “But horses aren’t real!” I screamed. “They don;t exist!” “That’s not my problem,” said Cheese

lesson learned: beware of cheese

“Oh, Potnach, we’re really in it now” “We sure are, girlie” he told me and i gasped. “CANACH?!” I screamed and I realised the cactus had now his face and he could speak again. “It is I, Canach, and I am thankful my most beautiful and esteemed female companion did not smoke pot from my leaves as I was still growing back my visage.” I cried. Gods were punishing me for my sisns by rewinding his personality back to the ancient times!

the gods are punishing me, Ivory. ME.

[eesirachs]

context: i come from a family of prophets (myself, my gramma, my momma, my brother, my aunt etc etc) and my conception was prophesied. there is another prophecy about me and my purpose/fate which i cant fully remember and cant bring myself to ask my momma about.

anyway, im feeling spiritual pain right now. ive moved to the city recently and i feel miles away from anything divine, like im calling out and hearing crickets in reply. i just feel like im in this perpetual state of waiting lately. maybe its just an idea i made up in my head but i was sure for a long time i was meant for something special and specific. but i dont think im where im supposed to be. i think ive wandered far enough off my destined path, i cannot even see it anymore. the worst part about knowing gods voice so well is the silence when hes gone. (and ik that its okay to not be special. for a long time, normal was what i prayed for. special is not always so forgiving. but the thing is that i am supposed to be special or at least i was once.)

i apologize for my long-windedness. the ability to say things consisely is not something i was blessed with. all that to say, i thought it would be worth a shot asking if you have any wisdom?

[tl/dr: i am a wayward "prophet" in search of guidance from a stranger]

there is nothing more prophetic than not feeling prophetic. all the good biblical prophets lost god, left god, fought god, tried to die, on and on. prophecy is not about foretelling what is to come. it is not about working right under god. it is not about being particularly holy all the time. instead, prophecy is about the pang, the swell, of the god we lose and find over and over again. god called you once. he’ll find you again

[marabarl-and-marlbara]

hello mara! i was wondering if you have a name that you call your faith? In my head ive been calling it Chirality but i was curious if you had anything youd prefer it be referred to.

ps, i am left handed, and after reading orsday programming march 15th ive decided to start practicing writing mirrored. im getting pretty good at it!

hey anonymous!

i appreciate the question (and the opportunity for me to link my substack and the post mentioned there); regarding the name: chirality is so vague it:d be lost in the definition of chirality--issue of naming itself is something i:d not seen much more than pride-from-me (the area of faith that comes from conjecture instead of communication), but sometimes blueprint of church depends both on the workmanship of conjecture and the guidance of communication hand-in-hand should the building ever be finished;

for this: i:d thought of it as addressing the faith either on the 'shared goal' (applicable to both hands, as both hands are needed for the separation of the hands): chiral christianity, chiral segregation -- the former is a bit odd because the left-hand is defined more as the empty rooms of herod and the earthy manse whereas the right-hand is more bespokenly (? am i even using this right? tailored, surely; the word bled out and made walking in many bodies yet shared of a righteous spirit) christly;

then focusing on the left-hand itself: qlifotism, qlifotic christianity;

an issue with both and either mention of word 'qlifot' and 'christ' is that the word comes dead-pregnant with heavy information and concept from either: qlifot attracts a big buzzing fly looking for death and esotericism and stinking of philosophical text and anime; mention of christ attracts the exact same thing but with some strange new conviction that reading the bible will be salve to some strange wound that could perhaps be better solved disconnecting and recentering on wilderness for a bit;

i think about all the odd little splinters of adventism (surely thanks to the age of prophesy still being alive enough for splintering sects to be birthed by claimants possessed by Holy Ghost yet not enough to be excommunicated over goofy new retellings of a word Ellen White perfected already--ye goofy prophet pretenders); 8th Days is a little more protected against 'dirty information' but is trapt as a little tumor-polyp on the body of Ellen White and her kin (but aren:t I just another one of them anyways? aren:t I also just every prior mentioned 'dirty person' here? the death seeking esotericist who thinks the bible a salve for some strange wound that could be better treated by going outside and think themselves pretender prophet of some word?);

i don:t really have an answer to your question, anonymous! it:s an answer i:ve wanted myself, almost thinking the question an inverse of the "build it they will come" saying: they will name it after it is built.

keep up your writing practice, anonymous; think not that it:ll be some miraculous super-power granted to you in doing so: but it is a first step to establishing a neat little culture and habit that were best suited your hand, and something that belongs to you (much in the same way forward writing belongs to the righteous). you keep it up for a few years and you:ll start thinking backwards, too.

take care! it:s my birthday tomorrow; some blogging: i forced myself out to go to culvers and try a burger there -- it was very ok; i like the lunches i cook for myself more, but it:s kinda fun to let-go of the food neuroses now-and-then and experience something new (plus i got to spend time with my mom--i value this!).

[tonydaddingham]

Wait, what is the "batshit Jim is Jesus" theory, please? Because I have thoughts and I thought I was the only one thinking them

hi hello!!!💕 oh god okay where do i begin

tbh this is largely pure speculation, but something that i can genuinely see happening to the extent of attempting to write a fic about it but to be specific, i think some kind of fuck-up happened in heaven, and an amnesiac jesus has managed to wind his way inside jim, in the place of gabriel.

im gonna try to keep this as tight as possible but bear with me:

it kinda started with the thought that the second coming will have gone wrong in s3. and the subsequent thought that a reason why everyone is left floundering is because they lose jesus. and they might have lost jesus because he's already come to earth. getting biblical with it, both matthew 24:36 and 24:43-44 kinda solidified this for for me - if we accept that GO will continue to play around with scripture.

perhaps a bit of confirmation bias, but the rest of matthew 24 was also interesting, particularly when you consider the signs of the second coming as matthew warns:

24:27: For just as the lightning comes from the east and flashes as far as the west, so will the coming of the Son of Man be.

24:40: At that time there will be two men in the field; one will be taken and one will be left.

24:41: Two women will be grinding at the mill; one will be taken and one will be left.

and there's then the other apocalyptic elements of war, and famine, trials and tribulations, that are meant to herald the second coming - which is what i think potentially could end up being the backdrop for s3 (ie. the second coming has happened, and it just so happens to coincide with the world going to hell in a hand basket. literally). after all, jim's ep3 monologue was certainly posed as a prophesy of sorts, not a recollection.

then take into account the deleted scene where there was meant to be a prophetic dream(?) sequence of the bookshop being the only thing left standing in an apocalyptic wasteland. idk if it was ever confirmed...(?), but im reasonably certain that that dream would have belonged to jim.

there are also a lot of background elements that indicate that people have started to go missing. whether that's linked or not, idk, but seems interesting... like they've been raptured.

so then my thoughts turned to - well, does that mean, for whatever reason (heavenly user error, escape, god messing around etc), that jesus is now roaming around on earth? or has something gone wrong there too? possibly, bc then i remembered the opening jim scene, and the rest of his appearances in the show.

a lot of jesus imagery. especially imagery of the crucifixion.

the first shot of 2023 coming down from the clouds, and jim descending from heaven in the lift, tomatoes symbolising spilled blood, crowd gathered to watch the spectacle, seeks out sanctuary in the bookshop (eden).

quotes his mother in a tongue-in-cheek manner ("who told you i was naked?"), "but you know Me, you recognise Me" / "i know Someone who looks like You" (re: john 14:9-11), dresses his blanket in a very 'biblical' way, like a robe.

is very eager to help and is very kind, has an affinity for books and stories (themselves possibly representing the tree of life/the concept of immortality), offering out of food for free (ref to feeding the five thousand or the last supper, take your pick!!!), sacrifices himself for the shopkeepers meeting, arms outstretched etc.

im sure there's loads ive missed out, but these are the ones off the top of my head!

there's also the lovely callback to gabriel being the messenger to mary etc. aziraphale, if we accept him to parallel israfil, may be the angel to herald the second coming, but the fact that gabriel inadvertently is kinda the one to deliver it? brilliant

and lastly, because this promo image still has me floored: jim walking on water. and i cant really think of any discernible reason why the water would be included otherwise, other than to allude to jesus:

now that im fairly convinced about the What - as far as i can be with a tinfoil-hat, crackpot theory anyway - but now it's more about trying to figure out the How. these will be piecemeal bits that will join up together, so hang on there:

what seems to be clear is that jesus (if we accept jesus = jim) does not have his memory. he has no idea who he is, and this stays pretty consistent and believable throughout the season. there's a moment ive referenced plenty of times before, but it's so important imo:

(contd) which tells me a couple of things - main thing for me being that not only is memory erasure a canonically confirmed concept, but the suggestion of using the heavenly pda to access gabriel's memory suggests it's somewhat digitised... almost like it's a file that could be deleted or moved. but it potentially seems like that can only happen when someone is in heaven. and is it different for angels vs humans? or - if we accept the idea that jesus = god - a deity?

as for jesus not remembering something - maybe it was an error in the system that made him move into the gabriel real estate? and lose his memory in the process, by some kind of file corruption?

another thing is the issue with power in hell, namely that things seem to be going a bit sideways. the lesser demons are on half rations, and the whole outfit is severely understaffed. ive explored it more here, but it seems that whichever way you look at it, humans may not actually be in heaven. so, if human souls aren't being looked after by angels, where are they? my thought is similar to the above gabriel file thing: that human souls are being stored in the system* somewhere, awaiting 'upload' once heaven has finally defeated hell, and the kingdom hath in fact come.

*this then led me to the thought that maybe the system itself is the book of life, but that's a slight aside/only tangentially relevant.

so perhaps the corrupted jesus' 'file' somehow got uploaded to gabriel when he transferred himself into the fly? and maybe the box has something to do with it? idk.

it would also make sense for the 25-lazarii miracle. there was a lot of emphasis that aziraphale and crowley held hands with jim, and the effort it took to 'hide gabriel' was like a mini-nuke detonating. but a) its an interesting choice to refer to the miracle unit of measurement as a lazarus (and smaller denominations), and b) gabriel was in the fly - but they were holding hands with someone. so, for me, it's sensical that perhaps the issue in s3 is that not only has jesus come early, but they've inadvertently hidden him... an apt mirror to adam in s1. and if jesus is still somehow knocking about in gabriel in s3, it's a good narrative excuse to bring him and beelzebub back.

im going to stop rambling there but i may well come back and add bits - alternatively, if ive missed stuff, feel free to add!!! but! that's where im kinda at with the theory that the second coming has already come, and it's come somehow in the form of gabriel 🥰

[whymori]

AITA FOR NOT TELLING THE DEAD PROPHESIED “HERO” STUCK WITH ME THAT IM TECHNICALLY THEIR STEP-PARENT?

I (18NB), was with my partner (1000+ Deity), as It’s Prophet for 50 years, before It decided to create two prophesied echans who were doomed to die in the future, in order for their power to be consumed to help my partner, who I’ll call Id, further empower Its status as a God.

It went through with this, and the two were created. I proclaimed to my Kingdom, which I’ll call Z, the Prophecy I had been given by Id, which hid the fact the two were doomed, of course.

After the one meant to be raised in Z was first found, I requested Id to kill me, wanting to get some rest before, as It had promised, It would bring me back to life and Ascend me to Godhood beside It. Id obliged to this, and I died, assuming I’d go nowhere and that one day I’d simply regain consciousness when all was done, or alternatively I’d just stay dead forever, which I also would enjoy.

This did not happen, of course. I awoke in Limbo, where I’ve been, alone, for around 20 years, I think. Time is strange here. Recently, though, someone else has joined me here. One of the “Heroes” created by Id, who I’ll call E. E has only heard of me, though we did meet once, but when they were only a babe, so there was so recollection. E, like all of Z, has no idea about who I was to Id, apart from being Its Prophet, that is.

Here’s where we get to the core of my dilemma: AITA for not telling E this? I really, really don’t want them to know that I was Id’s partner, as right now they’re planning, alongside the other “Hero”, to take down Id (a doomed venture, but I won’t say that either). I fear telling them could draw violence upon myself also.

I worry that my words about Id have already set of alarm bells to E, as I’m finding it difficult to hide my adoration towards It.

Write an r/AmITheAsshole post told from your OC’s perspective. (Bonus: include replies from your other OCs.)