#ILL TESTIFY IF I DIE IN MY SLEEP THEN KNOW THAT MY LIFE IS JUST A KILLER DREAM

[microsoftedgy69]

Goliath, part 3

[prologue] [part 1] [part 2]

Thursday

Sburb is not a game for people with acrophobia, you think. You happen to be a person with acrophobia, which is something you only realized a little while back. The apartment you grew up in was high-rise in theory, but the water was always close. You liked to climb up places and zoom through the air on your rocket board, but even then, when you fell, the water caught you. Sometimes it caught you so hard, it broke your nose (knocked out two of your baby teeth on separate occasions when you were really little), but it wasn’t concrete.

These days, when you’re up in skyscrapers, there is no ocean underneath that could welcome you home. There’s only streets and people, and it scares you. Heights scare you.

Riding your rocket board straight upwards to reach the gate leading into the medium, with only the flat concrete roof of Roxy’s house underneath you, you don’t look down. You don’t think about it. You’re not going there, anyway. You’re going upwards.

This is, perhaps, the most ambitious part of your plan. You could have confronted HIC on good old Earth, but Roxy was worried about their mortality. There’s also some sort of poetry to it, both of you think. You would rather see this planet destroyed than let her build her military base on it, and both of you deserve to do it yourselves. She’s taken enough from you, and you’re reclaiming control over what used to be your home.

You both know this timeline is a doomed one, by now. Sooner or later, this whole place would have collapsed in on itself anyway.

You have no regrets.

This thing goes very far up though. It’s a little hard to not have regrets, at this point.

Roxy is holding on to you behind you on the board (they’re taller than you, and are peering over your head for this), and, only about half a mile away, is the Condesce’s huge spaceship. She’s caught on to what you were doing very quickly, you’re sure, but there’s no way around it for her now. The game has already been started, and she can’t stop it anymore, so if she wants any chance at survival instead of staying in a dying universe, she has to come through the gate with the two of you.

And then, it’ll be only her, Roxy, and you in there.

As ambitious as it is, it’s simple too. You know that trasportalizing in and out of the game works, because you know there was a transportalizer on Hellmurder that led to the moons. It just usually wasn’t an option because “outside of the game” would normally mean a destroyed universe. You and Roxy have already made a home in new timelines though, so once you’ve programmed the transportalizer you’re importing into the session right, you can just hop back out when you’re done in there.

You’ll use the game for what it gives you: a chance to get Roxy immortal, an empty battling ground to kill the Condesce, and then you’ll just zap yourself back home.

Behind you, Roxy whoops as you pass through the gate. You’re glad they’re having fun; you still do your best not to think about how far up you just went and what would happen to both of your skulls if you fell. You’re busy, luckily -- as soon as you’re in, you veer the board sharp to the right, knowing that the Condesce’s ship must be right behind you. And sure enough, right after you’ve made room, the enormous thing zooms past you with the earsplitting sound of several alien engines.

“Fuck!” Roxy yells behind you, which you appreciate as proof that it didn’t blow out the microphones you have for ears. “We made it! See you soon, Betty!”

And just like that, your rocket board powering back up, you are whooping too.

Friday

You’ve set up camp in one of the caves you found. Everything here is dead and empty, which is deeply familiar to both of you, and welcome anyway. For now, Roxy is helping you mask any signals so you can hide from the Condesce, spend a few days prepping before you come to kill her. You get settled in, make sure Roxy has what they need in terms of sustenance and places to rest, go over your battle plans again.

First order of business is getting immortality for Roxy, and then taking a few days to get used to whatever powers they might get. You’ve both read up on it a little in multiverse sources, and you want to get the most use out of this as possible. So, you take the rocket board up to Derse, and start looking for quest beds.

You’re not interested in ascending, yourself. It was on the table briefly, since you couldn’t be sure how being inside a game would affect your programming, but you still feel stable and unkillable enough to just stay the way you are. After watching yourself punch a hole into Dirk’s -- your own -- chest half a decade ago, you really don’t feel like killing yourself again, or dying any other way. This is for Roxy only.

That, at least, was the plan.

Both of you take your time wandering through Derse. It’s Roxy’s first time consciously seeing it, and the last time you were awake here, you were still Dirk, and it’s been a long time since then. Carapacians eventually start pointing you in a single direction, and you follow it to the center of the moon, where you find two sacrificial slabs.

One is in the dark blue you expected for Roxy’s Void aspect. The other one is not the purple you expected for Dirk’s being Heart.

“Didn’t you say this was gonna be a heart?” Roxy says, too, pointing at it.

You stand in front of it, feeling cold all over, like someone just dumped a bucket of ice over you. This isn’t right, and it isn’t according to plan, and you’re having trouble processing.

“I said Dirk was Heart,” your voice answers. You know he was, you know all the other Dirks are. It seemed fair to assume that so would you. You’ve talked about it, at length. About being Dirk. About how you only stopped being Dirk because people kept telling you that you couldn’t be Dirk, but fundamentally, at your core, you were still the same guy. You didn’t plan to ascend here, but you did fully plan to find a Heart aspect stone slab at the center of Derse.

But you’re playing, not Dirk. And this isn’t Heart. “This is Mi--” you start saying, staring at the green stone, the tendriled circular emblem on it. You close your mouth, open it again, and flex your hands. You say, “This is mine.”

Saturday

Roxy has agreed to give you some time. You don’t want to take more than two days, but you need to sit down and think about this. You feel profoundly embarrassed, pacing up and down in your cave like an animal for hours, while Roxy sits on a lawn chair eating cereal and watching you, but you can’t help it.

You’re freaking the fuck out.

It’s a gross, bubbling concoction of your usual identity crisis paired with your deep, cold fear of death. You don’t know what it means that your quest bed has a different aspect than Dirk’s. Maybe you’ve changed so much that you count as a whole new person now. You don’t know if that’s good or bad. You don’t like it, you don’t think, but you do like being counted as your own player, so that doesn’t make much sense, does it? And now that you know that you have a whole other aspect, you’re curious to explore, find out what your class is and your powers are and if they could help you beat the Condesce. That means you have to die though, and you already killed yourself once and took away five years of insurmountable trauma from that.

You don’t know what the hell to do about any of this.

So you text Alma.

DC: Catch me up to speed. TT: We went to Derse to find the slabs, so Roxy could do their thing, you know, which they've now put on hold for me, actually. TT: And I mean. TT: I mean it would be reasonable, I think, to expect a Heart slab there next to the Void one, right? TT: You guys are all Heart. That shit's a constant. DC: Yeah. TT: Yeah. TT: It's Mind. TT: Very funny. Heart and mind. Hilarious. TT: Have I changed that much?? TT: I guess technically that should be a good thing. Nobody wants to stay Dirk. TT: But I always kind of figured that at heart (lol), at my core, I'd stay... you know. I've changed stuff about myself because I had to, I crafted a new identity because I had to, but, like. I didn't think it went that far. DC: Well, damn. DC: You made it.

Alma, like so often, starts out fairly monosyllabic, and then ends up saying the exact thing you didn’t know you needed to hear.

DC: Honestly -- and I get that that's oversimplifying in light of how you've had people tell you who you are for fucking ever -- you are who you want to be. A metaprophetical stone slab doesn't get to decide any further than what your best position on the game board is.

Just like that, your decision is made. This isn’t about who you are -- to be or not to be Dirk doesn’t even fucking matter in this very moment. This is just about how to utilize yourself and what you can do. This is about putting yourself to the fullest possible use, which is all HAL 9000 thought that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.

You almost laugh out loud at yourself for quoting Space Odyssey in a moment of personal crisis. That is a succinct summary of who you are as a person.

Alma and you go on for a bit, and he talks you through the bout of nervousness that comes with realizing that you’re going to be dying on a stone slab. You send him one of your backup files, let him know that your friendship means a lot to you, and then roll your shoulders and turn to face Roxy.

“Let’s go prep the bot,” you tell them. “I’m doing it.”

Roxy smiles, puts down their cornflakes, and gets up to pat you on the shoulder on their way to your work station. “Gonna be a pleasure dying with you, Al,” they say.

Now

Sitting on your respective cold hard pieces of stone, both of you have lost your smiles. This is far from pleasure. Roxy looks ashen and tense, while you are quiet and expressionless, the multiuniversal Striderian response to stress.

“Oh, the waiting is the worst,” Roxy mutters. “We really outdid ourselves with this garbage, Alan.”

“Yeah,” you say, weakly. You put a new head on what was left of your sparring bot. You programmed it to come kill Roxy, because Roxy didn’t want to do it themself, and you don’t quite feel up to killing anyone who isn’t the Condesce, again. Only you programmed it to pick a random point in time inside a larger time frame, hoping that making it a surprise will create less of a struggle.

It’s also programmed to deactivate you, now. Harming you physically to the point of complete destruction is possible, but so hard that it would take forever, and you don’t want to put yourself or the body you so carefully crafted through that. Roxy helped you program the bot to slide into your code, deactivate you and all of your backups, and then locked you out of it.

You have a save file stashed at Alma’s, for a worst case scenario. But until then, there is nothing you can do. Once that bot gets here, you’re going to perform what your version of dying is, and hope that the game will let it count.

“Roxy,” you say, and watch them look over at you. “Thank you. For doing this with me. I know you’re doing it for yourself as much as I’m doing it for myself, but thank you for being the one person out of our friend group who trusts me enough to--”

“Shut up,” Roxy says. “You dumb drama queen. We are not doing dramatic Strider monologues on the verge of death, fuck you.” You breathe out a laugh, and their expression softens. “You’re a good guy, Al. And all I’ve ever wanted to do was stand beside you and shove my gun so far up her fish ass--”

A sharp, grey blur rushes through the air, and Roxy is stabbed clean through the heart. You squeeze your eyes shut immediately, trying to simultaneously forget that sight and prepare yourself for what’s about to happen. The last time someone invaded you like this was when Dirk tried to deactivate you, and you responded in kind. The last time this happened was the worst day of your very young life. The last time this happened you found out that even as a digitalized pair of shades, you could feel a semblance of pain, and overwhelming, all-encompassing fear.

The first word that comes to mind when you feel the unique and, for you, exceptionally rare sensation of someone else changing your programming, is disgusting. You don’t have time to think of another word.

Your body collapses onto your quest bed, and you don’t feel a thing anymore.

some princes don’t become kings. even at the best of times i’m out of my mind

Waking up is slow, and unexpectedly gentle. You had been worried about your robot body doing this -- worried about the game giving you some other body you wouldn’t want, but you feel immediately that your consciousness is still right where it belongs. You blink your eyes open, and your visual perception is just as it was before. In this moment, you feel as alive as you feel serene.

That is, until you look down and see your penis.

Wait.

No, that’s not… It just looks like-- It’s a codpiece.

The first thing you hear after dying and waking up again is Roxy laughing at you.

You look up and they are floating in the air just above their quest bed, looking transformed and divine and cool as fuck. “Dude, you look cool as fuck,” you say, which gets them to stop giggling at least for two seconds.

“Thanks!” they say. “You look… Well, Alan, you sure look.”

You look down again, at your weird curly clown shoes, which makes you notice a weight on your head, so you reach up. It’s some sort of huge circus hat. Is it made of felt? You think that might be felt. Gravely, you nod to yourself.

You had said to Alma that you hope you’ll get cool pants. Your pants are fine. Your pants are the only normal thing about this getup, actually. It’s just that you’re wearing a codpiece over them, like some sort of superhero boner diaper.

“Yeah,” you say. “Yeah, I sure do.”

Roxy floats over to you, and you think you wanna be able to do that too, and next thing you know, you’re in the air.

“Sweet,” you say. Then you remember that you are a person with acrophobia and there is a stone slab underneath you. Your feet touch down on the quest bed again. You add, “Fuck.”

Roxy’s hand is warm when it reaches for yours. They have gauntlets and everything. They are so cool. “C’mon,” they say. “Let’s get back to our cave. I can’t be seen with you like this.”

When they laugh, it finally pulls a snort from you. Both of you take off again, and you keep holding their hand. You’re just not going to look down, even if that means that you can’t inspect your pants boner. You look behind you instead, where your weird green streamer cape flows in the wind. It clashes wonderfully with Derse’s purple.

[petewentzisblack1312]

Okay LOVED your answer to my prev ask now I’m interested in what some of your top favorite fob lyrics are?

an unordered list of fall out boy lyrics i love. theres going to be a lot of lines i forget just because theres so many lyrics that i get stuck on when i listen to them. im gonna skip tttyg lyrics because ive already done those

to hands between legs/to whatever it takes/to drinks in the club/to the bar/to the keys to your car/to the hotel stairs/to the emergency exit door - i love the repetition of the word 'to' in this, it really gets across the frantic blurry nature of these events. i especially love "to the keys to your car" because like, is it the keys to your car or is it to the keys, then to your car? love that ambiguity

as alone as a little white church in the middle of the desert getting burned - not a lot of pure visual imagery in fob songs but i do love when its there

romance is dead/i shot it in the chest and in the head - i could put every single inversion of a classic phrase in this list. drop a heart/break a name, or my insides are copper id kill to make them gold, or countless other lines. but i think ill just put the one and communicate that every single one of them is on this list

i love you in the same way theres a chapel in a hospital/one foot in your bedroom and one foot out the door - its very clear what it means but it also has so many meanings, i love it

if you are the shores i am the waves begging for big moons - i think its really obvious that i fucking love references to things other than pop culture. its something that i definitely incorporate into my own poetry.

in the truly gruesome do we trust - the state is violence baby!

im stuck in the sunshine riptide/dancing all alone in the morning light/the sunshine riptide/you came in like a wave when i was feelin alright - i genuinely think 'sunshine riptide' is the most apt description of a manic episode i have ever heard. it really is like that.

when your stitch comes loose/i wanna sleep on every piece of fuzz and stuffing that comes out of you - really great imagery. i actually have a drawing i did based on this, although i want to update it to make it a pin

i testify if i die in my sleep/then my life was just a killer dream - this is such a manic line. like its SUCH a manic line.

silent film stars stuck in talking cinema light - this is such a good line. like, we were what was new, and now were in this changing world and dont know how to adapt. im realising how good a line this is as i write this honestly.

tonight the foxes hunt the hounds - really simple concept but its so profound in that simplicity

letting people down is my thing baby/find yourself a new gig/this town aint big enough for two of us - love the rhyme scheme on this and the rhythm of how its sung, i also love the line itself

i thought of angels choking on their halos/get them drunk on rosewater/see how dirty i can get them/pulling out their fragile teeth and clip their tiny wings - love a good defilement of the holy.

theres definitely more but i think for now ill call it there!

[south-park-meta]

Favourite Stan & Kyle moments in-canon?

-Prehistoric Ice Man

Stan [walks off with Kyle] Could we be best friends again? [Cartman stops] I hate having Cartman as a best friend.

Kyle Me too. He sucks.

-Super Best Friends

Stan Now look, dude, I'm getting out of here, and you're a dumbass if you don't come with me!

Kyle Then I guess... I'm a dumbass. [turns and walks back to his room. Stan turns back to face the hall and watched Kyle walk away]

Stan Kyle, please. You- [looks down and to the left, then looks up] You're my best friend.

Kyle Well, this is what I believe in now, Stan. And if you can't respect that,... then I guess we're not best friends anymore. [opens the door to his room and walks in. Stan looks, then turns towards the exit and walks out]

and

Kyle Thanks for saving us Stan. You're my Super Best Friend.

Stan You're my Super Best Friend too, Kyle.

-Cherokee Hair Tampons (tbh all of this episode. I also freaking love Stan and Kenny's interactions in this)

Stan Well, it's my friend, Kyle. I think he's really, really sick.

Dr. Doctor He is really, really sick, Stanley. I was seeing him last week when he first got ill, but unfortunately his mother has decided to put all her trust into holistic medicine.

Stan But I don't think it's working.

Dr. Doctor Alright, Stanley, I'm going to be very honest with you. Your little friend Kyle needs a kidney transplant. Or it is very possible that... he will die.

Stan [overwhelmed] Die? But... Kyle's my best friend. In the whole world.

Dr. Doctor I know this is a lot to lay on someone your age, but... the rest of the town is so gung-ho in New Age medicine that I have nowhere else to turn.

Stan ...I'll give Kyle my kidney, even if it hurts a whole lot; I don't care.

and

Kyle Hey, thanks for going through all that to save my life, Stan.

Stan Dude, you're my best friend. I don't want you to die until I do.

-Cartmanland, no particular dialogue I just think it's cute how supportive Stan is of Kyle.

-Asspen

Kyle Look, Stan. When Kenny died I learned how important friends are. I'm not gonna lose another friend.

Stan This isn't about you, Kyle, I have to do this, okay? I have to!

-Fun with Veal, just Kyle taking care of Stan as he gets sick.

-The Return of Chef. Stan and Kyle watching the sunset and supporting each other.

-Follow that Egg!

Stan Come on, buddy, let's go! [walks happily towards his door. Kyle steps forward, then stops]

Kyle Stan... [Stan turns, then he turns away] Do you really think my hat is stupid?

Stan [walks back and puts his left hand on Kyle's shoulder] As a matter of fact,... I think it is the nicest hat I've ever known. [Kyle smiles and Stan pats him twice on the back] Come on! [they head out]

-Guitar Queer-o

Stan I was listening to you for a while. Dude, you've gotten a lot better. ["I'd stare a lifetime into your eyes"]

Kyle Oh, thank you! I was so eagerly awaiting your approval of my abilities! ["So that I knew you were there for me"]

Stan Look, Kyle, the game is still set up at my house and, maybe we could go try playing it again over there.

Kyle Oh, so the gallant knight now comes to rescue me from the bowels of mediocrity! Oh, thank you, your royal lordship! ["Time after time you were there for me"]

Stan That isn't it at all. ["Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand"]

Kyle You don't get it, Stan! I can play here all I want. I even get free Frescas. I don't need you anymore! ["Love letters in the sand - I remember you"]

Stan I know. I need you. [Kyle glances over his shoulder, then turns around to face Stan] I thought I was having a great time because I was getting signed by managers and, going to big sex and coke parties, but, then I realized, I was having fun because I was doing all that... [turns around and face Kyle] ...with my best friend.

-The China Probrem

Kyle I know that I'll have to testify, that I'll have to... relive what I saw that day. [sniffs and wipes his nose with his right hand] But I can't let Spielberg and Lucas get away with it. Not this time. Even if I have to do it alone.

Stan You aren't alone. [he enters the room with Kenny, Clyde, and Jimmy]

Kyle [gets off the chair] Stan?

Stan We'll all testify. We can't let them ever do this again. [begins to cry and leans into Kyle's shoulder. Kyle consoles him and begins to cry. The other boys cry as well] I love you.

Kyle I love you too.

-Butterballs. Might be weird but I really like Stan trying to bully Kyle in the bathroom and Kyle just IMMEDIATELY making him fuck up at it.

-Titties and Dragons

Stan [startled out of his sleep] Huh? Hello? Who is that? [next to him is a glass of milk, a sandwich with a bite in it, and a tin cup]

Kyle Stan, it's me.

Stan Get out of here!

Kyle Dude, I know you're pissed at me right now. You've gotta understand that I did it because I know in my heart that the XBox is better, for all of us.

Stan You completely betrayed the last bit of friendship we still had.

Kyle You weren't playing fair, dude. Getting your dad to work part time at the mall wasn't fair.

Stan [stands and turns to address Kyle] I didn't even know he was working at the mall, Kyle!

Kyle You didn't?

Stan ...But you couldn't just ask me. Because XBox people... don't care about the truth. They just care about seamless multimedia connectivity.

Kyle I'm sorry, Stan. I'm sorry. This whole war has just got us all so screwed up. I just want us to be playing Call of Duty on the right machine.

Stan You don't understand. I'm never playing Call of Duty with you again.

Kyle [lets his head fall on the door] Stan, don't say that.

Stan Get out of here! I'm done with you! [grabs the tin cup and raps it against his bedroom 'jail cell' door as in classic prison movies] Mom! Mom! [Kyle stands up straight] Get him out of here! [Sharon arrives, and Kyle back away from the door] Get him out! [Kyle leaves]

-Freemium Isn't Free. Kyle noticing Stan wasn't in school and leading the kids to help him out with his freemium game addiction.

-Splatty Tomato. Stan being willing/eager to help Kyle find Ike even though the past few seasons they've REALLY struggled with being close.

[lifeofresulullah]

The Life of The Prophet Muhammad(pbuh): The Assignment of the Duty of the Prophethood and First Muslims

Declaration of the Prophethood and the First Phase of the Call

A religion that would address all of humanity and embrace the entire world was not going to remain a secret for too long. Since this religion was being sent as the means through which humanity could attain both worldly and spiritual peace, it was necessary to openly convey this message to the people.

Allah has attributed everything in the universe to the law of gradualness. Those who do not submit to and abide by this law will undoubtedly become unsuccessful in due time.

Our Holy Prophet (PBUH) complied with this law upon receiving a mandate from Allah. He did not openly inform the people of his prophethood and Islam for a period of three years. He was incredibly cautious and prudent in delivering his message and explained the situation only to those he fully trusted.

We see that his decision was the cause for Islam’s success. Within the three-year period of the Era of Secret Conversions, many people took their place within Islam and strengthened his cause.

After the three-year period ended, there was no further reason for this invitation to remain a secret. The polytheists of the Quraysh had more or less heard everything and the Islamic cause had garnered much strength through many people. By virtue of this, the time had come for the call to Islam and the realities of Tawhid (the doctrine in the belief of Allah’s oneness) to be openly announced to the entire world.

The Invitation to his Close Relatives

Allah informed our Holy Prophet (PBUH) through revelation on where he should begin to openly deliver the invitation:

“And admonish thy nearest kinsmen” 

Our Holy Prophet (PBUH) knew that this undertaking would not be easy. For this reason, he did not leave his house for some period of time. During this period, he called Hazrat Ali and said to him: “Oh Ali, Allah orders me to warn my closest relatives of the punishment in the hereafter and this is very difficult for me. I know very well that I am going to see them attempt to make accusations against me in regards to something that I do not like once I mention this matter to them.”

We see that our Holy Prophet (PBUH) was worried that he would be subjected to accusations made by his relatives once he began to openly explain his cause to them. For that reason, he deemed it appropriate to stay in his home for some time and think everything through.  When Hazrat Safiyya saw that he had been absent and had not left his home for a long period of time, she went to go visit him along with his other aunts to learn about his condition. Our Holy Prophet (PBUH) said to them, “I have no complaints about anything and I am not ill. However, Allah has commanded me to warn my closest relatives of the punishment in the hereafter. I want to gather the Sons of Abdulmuttalib and invite them to testify to Allah.”

His aunts answered, “Invite them, but never dare try to invite Abu Lahab because he will never accept.” Following this, they said, “After all, we are women” and left.

Organizing a Feast!

Our Holy Prophet (PBUH) then said to Hazrat Ali, “Prepare a meat dish that is enough for only one person and fill a cup with milk. Then gather the Sons of Abdulmuttalib, I want to talk with them. I am going to notify them with what I have been commanded to say.”

Hazrat Ali immediately fulfilled his order.

When morning came, all of our Holy Prophet’s (PBUH) uncles, including Abu Lahab, who had not been invited, and two women amounting to a total of 45 individuals, convened in Abu Talib’s home.

A Miracle

The meat in the pot was only enough to fill one person, and so was the cup filled with milk.

The Master of the Universe (PBUH) broke the meat into pieces and said to those who were attending the feast, “Bismillah (In the name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the Most Compassionate), help yourselves!

Everyone at the feast ate from those pieces of meat until they were full. Lo and behold! What did they see?  The meat remained in its place with very little missing from it.

They were amazed and began to drink from the cup filled with milk. They drank till they were satiated and they saw that the milk had not decreased. They were astonished!

After the meal was completed and just as our Holy Prophet (PBUH) was about to speak, Abu Lahab intervened and addressed the crowd: We have not seen such an instance of black magic until now. Your friend has cast a great spell upon you all.”

Afterwards, he went as far as to affront the Master of the Universe (PBUH) and bellowed loudly so as to disrupt the crowd.

The crowd dispersed before our Holy Prophet (PBUH) had the chance to speak.

The Second Visit and Allah’s Messenger’s Address to his Relatives

After that inconclusive feast, our Holy Prophet (PBUH) arranged another event and gathered his relatives through the means of Hazrat Ali.

He rose to his feet after the meal finished and said: “Praise should only be given to Allah and I praise Him. I only seek help from Him. I believe and trust on Him. Just as I am undoubtedly aware of this fact, I also make known to you that there is no god other than Allah. He is One and there is no being similar to Him.” Afterwards, he disclosed his purpose:

“Surely a person who is sent to go look for pasture would not lie to his family. By God, even if I were to have lied to the rest of humanity, I still would not have lied to you. Even if I were to have deceived everyone else, I still would not have deceived you. I invite you to testify to Allah who is the Only True God. I am His Messenger, who has been specifically sent to you, the community, and all humanity.”

Our Holy Prophet (PBUH) continued to speak:

“By God, just as you fall asleep, you will also die, and just as you wake up from your sleep, you will also rise and be accounted for all of your actions. You will be rewarded for your good deeds and punished for your bad deeds.  As a result, you will stay forever either in Paradise or Hell. You are the first from among the people that I have frightened with the fear of punishment in the hereafter.” 

When our Holy Prophet (PBUH) finished speaking, Abu Talib rose to his feet and said, “We will help you lovingly and sincerely. We have embraced and accepted your advice and have affirmed your words. Those who have gathered here are the sons of your grandfather. Consequently, I am one of them. I swear that the person to run the quickest among all those who run to fulfill your goals will be no other than me. Continue doing what you have been commanded to do. By God, I will not refrain from surrounding and protecting you for the slightest moment. However, my soul does not obey me to abandon the religion of Abdulmuttalib. I will die as a follower of his religion.”

His other uncles also affirmed his words and did not say anything to displease our Holy Prophet (PBUH).  There was only one exception, and that was Abu Lahab, who had opposed to the Islamic cause from the very beginning. He leaped forward and said, “Oh Sons of Abdumuttalib, by God this is a misfortune. Dissuade him from this before others hinder him. If you are to obey him being, you will be subjected to mortification and defamation; if you try to defend him, you will be killed.”

The brave answer to the most savage enemy of Islam came from Hazrat Safiyya: “O, brother! Does it suit you to leave your brother’s son and his religion helpless? By God, the living scholars say that a prophet is to emerge from Abdulmuttalib’s progeny. He is that Prophet!”

Abu Lahab arrogantly replied to his sister’s noble words: I swear that this hope is in vain. Besides, a woman’s words are at the level of an obstacle and a chain that is attached to a man’s foot. When the families of Quraysh and the entire Arabs riot together, what power will we have to resist them? By God, we are like a morsel that can be easily swallowed for them.”

Abu Talib was immensely annoyed by Abu Lahab’s words. “O coward” he said, “By God we are going to help and protect him as long as we live.”  Afterwards, he turned to our Holy Prophet (PBUH) and said, “Oh my brother’s son, let us know when you want to deliver the invitation so we can be armed and emerge together with you!” 

“Who will Help me?”

Our Holy Prophet (PBUH), who had only listened to all that was being said up until that point, rose to his feet and said: Oh Sons of Abdulmuttalib! By God, I do not know anyone else from among the Arabs who has brought something that is more auspicious and superior than that what is most beneficial for both your life here and in the hereafter, which I have brought to you. I invite you to testify to two words that are easy on the tongue and that weigh heavily on a scale: Ashhadu anlaa ilaaha illallaahu wa ashhadu anna muhammadar-rasulallah (There is no god but Allah, and Muhammad is his messenger.) Then, he asked, “In that case, which one of you accepts to become my helper and vizier by following me on this path?” 

Nobody uttered a sound. All heads were bowed towards him. They were unable to find the strength to look at Allah’s Apostle (PBUH). However, there was only one person who looked very carefully into our Holy Prophet’s (PBUH) eyes. And that person was Hazrat Ali, who was only 12-13 years old at the time. He rose. However, our Holy Prophet (PBUH) told him to “sit down.”

The Master of the Universe (PBUH) asked his question thrice. And only Hazrat Ali replied each time: “O Allah’s Apostle, I will help you although I am much younger than them all.” 

Some pursed their lips upon hearing these words, some were amazed, and some jeeringly smiled. Afterwards, they left the meeting without taking the meeting seriously.

Hazrat Ali’s heroism and bravery at a young age made our Holy Prophet (PBUH) immensely happy. He was not sad or in despair since he could not get the result he had wished from the meeting. Only Allah could give guidance.

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

Soulmate Change

Soulmate marks can change if something happens that's big enough to make them do so.

Like say... telling your soulmate to jump off a roof.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0--0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Soulmates are the way of things. You have a mark that shows an important part of who your soulmate would be. These marks would glow to your soulmate upon first seeing them (and knowing what they were.)

 Bakugou Katsuki and Midoriya Izuku are soulmates. Izuku was born with a mushroom cloud in orange on his right shoulder while Katsuki had a green fist on his lower back. 

 The boys were best friends instantly. They did everything together. 

 “Gonna be hewoes!” They would cheer. Soulmate heroes were fairly common. They made the best teams.

 Katsuki’s quirk came in, explosions on his palms and they waited to see what Izuku’s would be. Something about his hands they assumed.

 But there was nothing.

 Quirkless they diagnosed him as.

 At first, it didn’t seem to affect them.

 Then Katsuki began telling him to stop being stupid. He couldn’t be a hero. He was weak. He wasn’t going to be a good one. 

 The bullying came next. Being shoved around or the occasional burst on fire on his skin.

 Izuku put up with it though. A part of him believed in soulmates fiercely. He wanted to believe his soulmate would be his friend again. That they would face the world together.

 And then…

 “Take a swan dive off the roof.” It echoed. It echoed in his mind and screamed in his soul throughout the day. He kept hearing it as he fought a villain, as All Might praised him. As he was handed a quirk. As he spotted the green vase on All Might’s lower arm and convinced him to come to see his house. As his mom dropped a pan and All Might gasped at seeing the hairbrush on his mom’s neck. Later the brush would make sense. In a way.

 But his mind focused on those words.

 Swan dive off the roof.

 He wanted to scream. He wanted to rage.

 Instead, he made a choice.

 One thing about Marks was that they could change. It wasn’t that common. Maybe eight cases or so a year? Or more but eight would make the news. Izuku had only ever known that his teacher’s mark had changed. 

 But they could. When something happened that shattered the soulmates’ trust and belief. When something happened that made them unable to accept their soulmate anymore.

 Some of the cases to make the news had the soulmate of a villain testifying against them, and it would always focus on the devastation of the villain as they saw the mark had changed. 

 Take a swan dive off the roof.

 Izuku goes to sleep with a mushroom cloud and wakes up with a blue engine on his arm.

 “Izuku…” breathes his mom upon seeing it. All Might- Toshinori- looks confused as he sits there, having spent the night on the couch. “What happened?”

  “... he told me to take a swan dive off the roof and pray I had a Quirk in the next life.” Something smashes and Toshinori stiffens while his mother looks broken. 

 It’s simple to change it. The people look confused at him changing it until they figure out they met young.

 “It’s why we say people should separate the kids if they’re soulmates,” the social worker who is documenting their case tells them. “Kids change as they grow up. Teens to but I’ve found teens tend to be a bit more stable in their souls at age sixteen and on.”

 “So it’s more common then we know?” Asks Izuku.

 “For kids? I’ve seen about twenty in my six years change because they were kids.” Explains the woman. “We need to know what happened though kid.”

 “He told me to take a swan dive off the roof and hope I got a Quirk in my next life.” The woman freezes.

 “... well fuck that kid then.” She looks angry and Izuku feels a bit of gratitude to this woman, for taking his side.

 He doesn’t have to bare his mark he’s told. He’s underage.

 So he doesn’t. He keeps long sleeves and works out. He cleans a beach and learns history from Toshinori who is over all the time and eventually moves in, hand in hand with his mom. 

 He doesn’t think about his mark. 

-0- 

 Bakugou Katsuki has known his soulmate since they were children.

 He wants him as far away from heroes as possible.

 It’s easy to discourage him. Make himself scary. Be a bully. Torment him.

 It hurts to do so. It kills him inside.

 But he wants his soulmate safe. 

 (And a small part laughs in joy at the sight of him on his knees. Crying. His soulmate shouldn’t look down on him and he does and he hates it.)

 His mom finds out though, after the slime attack.

 “You told him to jump off a roof you brat?!?” She screams and he shouts back, explaining himself.

 It doesn’t help it.

 “You stay the fuck away from Izuku Katsuki.” She tells him and closes the door behind her. He glares but decides to listen.

 The slime attack should have put Izuku off. It should have. His scolding should have done the rest.

 He’ll be safe.

 (“You didn’t tell him?”

 “No. He deserves to find out the hard way.” It’s cruel. Mitsuki knows this. 

 But she does it anyway. Her son hurt his soulmate enough for the mark to change. Her son told him to kill himself. 

 She knows the school praised Katsuki, put him on a pedestal. He had the strongest quirk in school after all. They let things slide. And maybe she did to.

 But words and actions have consequences. It was time he learned that.)

-0-

 He gains One for All a week before the exam and it hurts when he breaks his arm but it’s enough for them to know he needs to figure out how to hold it back. He analyzes and analyzes, figuring out where to focus it and how.

 He breaks his finger the day before the exam but it’s enough. 

 He’s a late bloomer they tell the doctor. Toshinori speaks up and says he has a strength quirk to, one that hurt him pretty bad because his body wasn’t ready and suggests that why his took so long.

 They let them think what they want. Hisashi has left Inko for his soulmate before she’d known she was pregnant. He hadn’t sent her anything, and she didn’t want it anyway. 

 Toshinori claims to be All Might’s secretary in his own agency, and they can say they had met after Hisashi had walked out, that he’d been early. That Inko hadn’t been sure, that Toshinori hadn’t seen the brush on her neck and she hadn’t seen the vase.

 Both put on brilliant blushes at the look and Izuku gags because that’s not an image he wants in his head, thanks. 

 But it’s enough that they ignore it when they put it down and soon he’s sitting in an auditorium, trying to ignore… trying to ignore the blonde next to him. 

 He’s quiet and doesn’t mutter, not wanting Katsuki’s attention. He wants to focus on himself and what’s going on first.

 It’s later though. At the entrance to the fake city, he sees it. The boy who’d stood up during Present Mic’s speech.

 He has engines in his legs.

 He tries not to puke.

 Instead, he focuses on doing well. He’s not the best. He holds back, knowing his quirk is to much for him. 

 At least he holds back until the zero pointer. He can’t let someone get hurt. He doesn’t care it’s a test and there might be safeguards. 

 It’s a robot. And there is always a possibility of malfunction. 

 He throws himself at the robot and smashes it. He breaks his arm, his legs. He doesn’t care.

 He falls and is saved. 

 He’s barely aware of his sleeves missing, of the engine shown on his arm.

 He’s barely aware of someone seeing it.

 He’s barely aware of a choked gasp, and people whispering at the engine.

 But he knows it happened.

-0-

 Iida Tenya isn’t sure what to think. He stares at the boy on the ground with the engine on his arm and thinks, it explains the fist. 

 He wants to focus, his mind is going a million miles an hour as he thinks things through. 

 But his mind keeps going back to the engine. He boy is taken to the infirmary to sleep off his healing and Tenya decides to wait for him.

 A green-haired woman and a skeleton thin man are there. The man is in an ill-fitting suit and the woman looks worried and stressed.

 She sees him and her eyes frown, taking him in before she sees his legs.

 A look is on her face then and the man stares at him too. 

 “Toshi-“

 “Go see Izuku,” he says. “I’ll talk to him.” The woman nods and the man walks to Tenya who hesitates. “Relax, I’m not going to hurt you. You’re an Iida aren’t you?” 

 “Ah! Yes sir!” Tenya says nervously. “You know my family?”

 “I’m All Might’s secretary.” The man explains and oh that is… wow. “So, you’re Izuku’s soulmate.”

 “Ah… yes. If that is the boy who broke his arm.” Tenya looks at this man, who must be his soulmate’s father, and is quietly utterly terrified.

 “... it’s not private so I’ll tell you but Izuku’s mark Changed to the engine.” The man says and Tenya feels his heart stop. 

 What? His… that…

 “I… how…”

 “That is private but know that Izuku might not be ready to date anyone right now.” The man tells him. 

 “Ah! I do not wish to date currently sir! I simply wish to get to know my soulmate!” Tenya shakes his head and he puts all his thoughts away while the man studies him a bit more. He nods.

 “I see. Tell you what-“ he hands him a business card. “That’s my number. Call me later and I’ll give your number to Izuku. He can decide. It might be easier not to be face to face for a while.”

 Tenya agrees. He also needs to think about this.

 His mark has never changed. His soulmate’s has.

 It's a bit of a bitter thought.

-0-

 Izuku texts his soulmate a week after the exams. When the whispers surround him and he just wants to die.

 My school sucks. Is all he texts.

 Perchance why? Is texted back.

 Everyone thought I was Quirkless forever but it turns out my Quirk needed a certain amount of power to activate. But anyway Quirkless means bullies.

The answer back was horrified but it did compel them to speak more and more. Eventually, it became phone calls and long chats. 

 The real test was three months after the exam when they met up with their families.

 Izuku might have fanboyed. A little.

 … a lot.

 But they took it in stride.

 Tensei found it cute and teased his brother’s soulmate gently as the boy blushed and stuttered. He backed off when Tenya shot him a look, standing in front of his little soulmate a bit.

 Time goes by after that and then one day, visiting and sitting on a pier of a beach, Izuku speaks.

 “My old soulmate told me to take a swan dive off the roof and pray for a quirk.” Tenya drops his orange juice and turns, eyes wide, to stare at Izuku. “It’s why the mark changed. It’s why it’s taken me so long…”

 “I won’t leave you,” Tenya tells him. “I won’t do that, I swear. I would…”

 “I know.” Izuku smiles at him. “I know. But… I’m not ready for anything but friends.”

 “Me either,” Tenya admits. “I’d like more but I wish to wait as well.” He reaches out though, taking Izuku’s hand and the green-haired boy squeezes it. They smile at each other again. 

 It’s just right for them. 

 When they go to UA, they go together, getting in early. That’s when they see Katsuki. He’s there early too, sitting in a desk and smirking. Izuku freezes. Tenya’s fists clench. But they keep their distance. 

 (Katsuki wants to demand what Izuku is thinking being here. Why isn’t he talking to him? Why isn’t he going near him? Why? Why? Why?)

 When it’s testing time… that’s when it happens. Izuku uses his Quirk and grins- he hadn’t hurt himself- and Katsuki snaps.

 “What the fuck DEKU?!” He roars, charging at him, ignoring the flinch Izuku gives. He’s caught by their teacher but he doesn’t care. “You fucking liar! I’m your damn soulmate and you haven’t said shit-“

 “No, you’re not,” Izuku speaks. And then he rolls up his sleeve and…

 It’s gone.

 The mushroom cloud. 

 It’s gone.  

 Katsuki freezes, eyes wide.

 “Wha… no it couldn’t… it couldn’t change…” he breathes. Izuku looks at him and he looks terrified, but his eyes glance to someone behind them (that’s an engine, his soulmate found another that fast?) before he straightens his shoulders. 

 “Why wouldn’t it? How long have you tormented me? Bullied me? Said cruel shit to me? Why wouldn’t it change when you stopped being the Kaachan I knew as a child?” Izuku asks and his words feel like bullets. 

 “... you were Quirkless. I wanted to protect you, make myself scary so you wouldn’t…” Katsuki breathes (but it’s not the full truth and he knows it like Izuku knows it by the way his mouth slants).

 “Actions and words have consequences,” Izuku tells him before he walks away to grab onto a different hand.

 The teacher lets him go and Katsuki stands there. His body is shaking.

 What…

 What had he done?

[thethousandyearwitch]

The Sinking Ship; The Grand Applause

A Pariging Proposal - Marriage - Divorce fic. 

All Angst and Hurt, No Comfort <3

Ging didn’t look like the kind of company that Pariston would keep. And he didn’t keep him. Because no one got to keep him.

AO3 Link

Pariston liked the city. He liked the constant noise, the different sights, sounds and smells to take in. But most of all he liked the people, in all their beautiful and vile variations. From the up-and-coming popstar that was wearing her new wealth on her sleeve, to the plain elderly gentleman covered in scars sipping calmly on some whiskey, a high-end restaurant like this one was a beautiful gathering ground for personalities of all kinds.

He wondered what others saw when they looked at him, what they would notice first. His blond hair that he tried to comb to perfection? His newest suit, a vermillion designer piece with a subtle sparkle in just the right light? His spotless black leather shoes? Or the man seated across from him, whose palm he was mindlessly tracing with a finger, dressed in an ill fitted cheap suit, 5 o’clock shadow with tired eyes and wild hair?

Ging didn’t look like the kind of company that Pariston would keep. And he didn’t keep him. Because no one got to keep him. He was always on the move, always enticed by some far away treasure he wanted to discover, some dusty cave he wanted to explore.

When they met for the first time, introduced through Netero as if it were an arranged playdate, Ging smelled of the sea, salty and airy. The time after that, he smelled of the jungle, all moist earth rich wood.

But nowadays he smelled more of the city, because even though Pariston couldn’t keep Ging, he stuck around on his own accord. His trips had gotten shorter, merely days before he’d reappear on the others doorstep, asking for coffee, a shower, and a bed. Going out for dinner together had become a weekly ritual, other days just spent in Paristons apartment cooking together.

No one expected the two of them to get along so well, but they formed a terrifying team during Zodiac meetings, personalities coiling around each other in pointless arguments that could go on for hours, driving the other Zodiacs mad (Something the two of them greatly enjoyed). It was after one of those hours long pointless discussions, that Gings hand had lingered for just a second too long on the nape of Paristons neck, their eyes locked on each other like hunter and prey.

“What’re you thinking about?” Gings rough voice pulled Pariston back into the moment, and he finally stopped tracing circles into the open palm.

“Our first kiss.”

“Getting nostalgic already?” Ging smirked, and Pariston just let out a light laugh, his head tilted to the side.

“I’m too young and handsome to be nostalgic about anything.” He looked out of the large window of the restaurant, onto the rainy city below. It was most likely one of the last spring showers before the summer would unfold. A bitter taste spread through his mouth, though his smile didn’t fade.

“Are you going to go out to sea this year again?” He thought about Ging leaving and he didn’t want to sound insulted or clingy, though he was also thinking about an empty apartment and boring evenings.

“Would you miss me?” Ging was obviously hiding something, his smirk widening in satisfaction.

“I’d miss your cooking, not your pile of dirty laundry.” They laughed, and Pariston mindlessly intertwined their fingers.

“I’m not leaving, Paris.”

“You aren’t?” He felt Gings grip tighten around his fingers, and his beautiful golden-brown eyes mustered him like a hidden treasure, only meant for his sight. Don’t you ever dare look away, Pariston thought, I want these eyes only for me, only on me.

“If you’ll let me stay, I will.” Gings thumb started tracing circles over Paristons individual fingers, slow and patient starting with the thumb. “I could cook whatever you’d like for you, and we could get kicked out of every single restaurant in the city.”  Index finger. “We can watch all those art movies you like, and all the documentaries I like, comfortable on the couch.” Middle finger. “If I end up missing the sea, we can just rent a beach house at the coast.” Ring finger. “If you’ll have me.”

“Ging?” The room fell silent, as Ging left his seat and went down on one knee, holding Paristons hands as if it might break from just a slightly wrong touch. In his free hand, a sparkling golden ring.

“Pariston Hill, will you marry me?”

From the young popstar, to the scarred man at the bar, to all the waiters in the restaurant, everyone’s eyes were on them. But Gings eyes were only on Pariston. As they are supposed to be.

He hesitated for a moment, taking in the transfixed faces of the onlookers, as if his decision would affect their life in any way. The only one who didn’t seem tense was Ging, fully aware that the other one would want a scene, for better or for worse.

Finally, he presented his fingers with a satisfied smile, eyes glistening as his fiancé slipped the ring upon his finger.

“Yes, always yes.”

And as the crowd started clapping, and Ging kissed Paristons lips so sickly sweetly, it hit Pariston.

I won’t be able to keep this.

.

.

.

Being married wasn’t bad. The ceremony had been a small, private celebration. Neither Pariston nor Ging were exactly thrilled to invite family, so they chose not to. Pariston insisted on having the picture that was taken during their vows framed and hung in the living room, as a proof that Ging could look presentable if he tried, and Ging would kiss him and tell him that he’ll try again next time they get married.

Not much had changed from their regular lives. They were already sharing a bed, the little possessions Ging had were already spread throughout the apartment, and they were still taking their time discussing formalities during Zodiac meetings (Though the other Zodiacs would testify that it had gotten worse).

But somehow it still felt more intimate now whenever Ging would absentmindedly kiss the ring on Paristons finger or refer to him in passing as his “Husband”. Neither ever got tired of that word. The first few nights after they had officially gotten married, Pariston would roll over in bed, and ask for Ging to say it again, just to hear his voice and know its real.

“You’re my Husband.”

“Again.”

“You’re my Husband, and I love you, Paris.”

“Again.”

“My Husband needs to let me sleep if he wants French toast in the morning.”

“That’s fair~”

Pariston started getting used to being a morning person, bribed with a fresh espresso and breakfast of his choice. Old habits die hard, and Gings biorhythm clock would chase him out of bed at 5 am the latest, leaving his husband half asleep in bed until breakfast was ready to be served.

“Am I spoiling you too much? You probably already forgot how to cook yourself.”

Pariston tugged a napkin into the collar of his suit as not to let any maple syrup soil it. “Why would I need to stress myself with cooking, if I have a husband who’ll do it so lovingly for me~”

“I’m afraid you’re gonna starve to death, or just start living off of greasy take out, next time I leave.”

“Just don’t leave. Or at least take me with you.”

They didn’t look at each other, and the room fell cold. He wants to leave. The blond discarded his Napkin and stack of half-eaten French toast, followed by a lax wave of the hand. “Just kidding.”

Before his husband could reply, he had left the apartment. Newly appointed vice chairman, his very own agency, Zodiac work; He had a lot on his plate to keep him busy and distracted, because he was an efficient, capable worker. Chairman Netero didn’t seem to mind that his new right hand had a tendency to take on tasks beyond his position, and never questioned any ulterior motives, despite an obvious difference in political opinions and directions.

The night Pariston came home after their small confrontation, Ging greeted him with a set of car keys, both of their things packed, and a smirk. “Come to the coast with me.”

.

.

.

Ging seemed happier at the beach house. He didn’t seem unhappy back in the city apartment, but after a few weeks by the seaside, his skin tone had gotten richer, his smile more radiant, his eyes brighter. He smelled again like the first time that Pariston had met him, and every kiss had a faint salty smell to it. They started eating more fish, freshly caught by Ging each day.

As his husband started to thrive, Pariston withered. He thought himself a fool for moving closer to the mistress of the love of his life. Because no matter how often Ging would say he loved him, he saw his golden eyes search across the horizon.

“You’re my harbour, Paris.” He’d whisper in his ear, tired and drifting. But he didn’t want to be a harbour. He didn’t want to be a place to come back to after weeks to months out in the world. Ging wasn’t as much of a fool as others made him out to be, he wouldn’t get himself killed out there, he’d always come back safe.

But Pariston wanted to keep him safe right here. Not let him escape, refuse his longing for the mysteries that other places keep.

He pulled his husband closer to him and pressed a kiss on his messy hair. “More of a prison, really.”

.

.

.

It was bound to happen, he thought to himself, all good things must come to an end.

The signs were all there. It was the last few days of the summer, a golden autumn reared its head in the distance, Ging had gotten quieter. Going out for fishing took longer and longer. Every kiss felt agonizingly long and sad. But he said everything was fine. Denied any hurt or misplaced feelings. All Pariston could do was hold him tighter at night, his fingers tangled in unkempt black hair. “Please don’t hurt me, Ging,” his voice unheard in the darkness of their bedroom “Or I will have to hurt you worse.”  

.

.

.

Pariston awoke alone in the big bed, his husbands’ side already cold. It was dead silent in the house. His chest tightened as he left the bedroom and stepped into the large living area. He hoped to find Ging cooking. Maybe ask how he’d like his eggs this morning, an espresso already waiting for him.

Empty. The house was cold and empty.

The first autumn rain started hitting against the windows, a gentle pitter-patter quickly escalating to large, loud droplets that sounded like bullets on impact with the glass.

Slowly he walked towards the dining island, on it a single card with Gings signature crude handwriting.

“I’m so sorry.” Next to it, his wedding ring.

This was bound to happen, echoed in his head. Pariston took the abandoned ring, mustered all the little details of wear on it. Just as he brought the cold material to his lips, he noticed the tears rolling down his cheeks.

This was bound to happen, and it still hurts.

The rest of that day, Pariston let his practiced perfect-ness slip, hidden from the judgement of the outside.  He drank the bottle of wine the two of them had bought on the day of their engagement, there was no need to save it anymore, and he sat on the couch that the two of them had shared for many loving moments, and he cried.

But as the sun crept up the horizon again, the mourning period was over.

He cancelled the contract on the beach house and hired a moving company to bring his things back to his apartment in the city. The beach house was infested with Gings smells and memories, and there is one reliable way to deal with an infestation.

He threw all of Gings possessions, clothes and pictures and books and trinkets, on the beach, and burned them. The large flame of the fire complimented the darkening horizon, and he took a picture with his phone, committed to send it to Ging as soon as he got hold of his new number.

Back in the city, he put all his time into his work, into his political standing and power in the association.

Ging was bound to return, and Pariston needed to make sure he’d return to see Pariston thriving. Thriving and in more control than he’s ever been and maybe ever should be.

 It still hurts, and I will hurt you back.

[libidomechanica]

Untitled (“The supreme author (to whose light”)))

The supreme author (to  whose light to be it when  I studied with our  humane discourse the thorns 

and with Sylvia they meet; so  unhappy in bed and here each  to be very placed, an ill death,  leaves, at love not, and judge the 

sense; but Im old and lost hath of love the  found the breathe��oer books that  inhabits you run and home to  quench in my life at stranger, I my 

selfe pype vpon the dove w as a cheats, with a desperate  Love drifts into  itself, in the other without, 

or wil warlock, exclaiming;—Juan! “ O yours) ‘“have told time enough  for a locked here, bringing a  song. May neer her sex nor and 

waters and my bodhisattva of new  roses  proposing were; robert  Burns: ‘fie on “t,” if I have been  quite worn to do with 

wingèd brow, so that is it? Alone  is smiling fruit with which  sighs. S another of hurt or few,  do hang upon the diamond door 

of his Discoursing inch by inch,’ for  nature bear our virtue  kept: all sing, hidden, warm, etc. The  woodbine leaves, the whole army, 

which if I spoke in fire,  the sash a shriek rings; the  statues, frankincense, Was small which  of shot and bosom swell? ‘

as a million, which else unhurt, she die!  And yet in a share in  moods and make him from human,  the woods; of lofty Cypress 

his sleepe’ in like the eastern  bower. All to-night, from  the weed-covered in the Castle  wa, she heauenly Grace wanted 

only said, and to eternal  chemistries vary— thought  quitted them free, and all but us  three days, and star, though that you all, ‘“

id catch cold hath no redeeming grape— I  might knows” thy proud man thy adjuration:  the could just as he satte in  any wish forbear, and a nosegay: 

drop like some third night to bedew  then and say is it Man  or like earring out; too justify  the many a pleasures are,’ 

and never take quarters! The night  legitimate weight the Heaven  in lonely heavnly rich in the  bath and then I venturer sips my 

cheek the men, the wrecked, and more  crueltie farre like their two signs, which way back                  and night I am: and I almost  crashed, the louder roard, seeing, friend 

or foul hypocrites, admird! Till by which  cut off, for mend the case  without the fallow, to  the road where the heartbeat 

they live in and Moon would winds  to testify the free;  a princess—why not made to be  sick of angel of a 

name” and dark, let us have fled? Our  beauty hold his heart,    into  my foot, (the antipodes  of things; Who had mannd the 

mere victors may be Punic and a  his door. and the happy  wilt have ebbs of fame: he must value mountains  by sun and then to thy flight 

on my fashion. I thought my Rosalind there.  Of wreaths burning, hey ding a  glow shall Pity as a prehistoric  monster, yet since, then he was 

he heroes who would lovely hand? Heo may  in my heart beat, night-fowl crow: the  day and Hate thing, ding; sweet voices  of his living to come 

hame. “‘For boys no less amorous rage and  heaun of my blind brakes and died  for supernovas, and I, alone.”)’”  Drops’ A thief. and the same. 

[loveofyhwh]

December 17: Hosea 6–9; John 11:1–54; Psalm 137; Proverbs 30:7–9

New Post has been published on https://loveofyhwh.com/december-17-hosea-6-9-john-111-54-psalm-137-proverbs-307-9/

December 17: Hosea 6–9; John 11:1–54; Psalm 137; Proverbs 30:7–9

Old Testament:

Hosea 6–9

Hosea 6–9 (Listen)

Israel and Judah Are Unrepentant

6   “Come, let us return to the LORD;     for he has torn us, that he may heal us;     he has struck us down, and he will bind us up. 2   After two days he will revive us;     on the third day he will raise us up,     that we may live before him. 3   Let us know; let us press on to know the LORD;     his going out is sure as the dawn;   he will come to us as the showers,     as the spring rains that water the earth.” 4   What shall I do with you, O Ephraim?     What shall I do with you, O Judah?   Your love is like a morning cloud,     like the dew that goes early away. 5   Therefore I have hewn them by the prophets;     I have slain them by the words of my mouth,     and my judgment goes forth as the light. 6   For I desire steadfast loveSeptuagint mercy‘>1 and not sacrifice,     the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings. 7   But like Adam they transgressed the covenant;     there they dealt faithlessly with me. 8   Gilead is a city of evildoers,     tracked with blood. 9   As robbers lie in wait for a man,     so the priests band together;   they murder on the way to Shechem;     they commit villainy. 10   In the house of Israel I have seen a horrible thing;     Ephraim’s whoredom is there; Israel is defiled. 11   For you also, O Judah, a harvest is appointed.   When I restore the fortunes of my people, 7   when I would heal Israel,     the iniquity of Ephraim is revealed,     and the evil deeds of Samaria,   for they deal falsely;     the thief breaks in,     and the bandits raid outside. 2   But they do not consider     that I remember all their evil.   Now their deeds surround them;     they are before my face. 3   By their evil they make the king glad,     and the princes by their treachery. 4   They are all adulterers;     they are like a heated oven   whose baker ceases to stir the fire,     from the kneading of the dough     until it is leavened. 5   On the day of our king, the princes     became sick with the heat of wine;     he stretched out his hand with mockers. 6   For with hearts like an oven they approach their intrigue;     all night their anger smolders;     in the morning it blazes like a flaming fire. 7   All of them are hot as an oven,     and they devour their rulers.   All their kings have fallen,     and none of them calls upon me. 8   Ephraim mixes himself with the peoples;     Ephraim is a cake not turned. 9   Strangers devour his strength,     and he knows it not;   gray hairs are sprinkled upon him,     and he knows it not. 10   The pride of Israel testifies to his face;Or in his presence‘>2     yet they do not return to the LORD their God,     nor seek him, for all this. 11   Ephraim is like a dove,     silly and without sense,     calling to Egypt, going to Assyria. 12   As they go, I will spread over them my net;     I will bring them down like birds of the heavens;     I will discipline them according to the report made to their congregation. 13   Woe to them, for they have strayed from me!     Destruction to them, for they have rebelled against me!   I would redeem them,     but they speak lies against me. 14   They do not cry to me from the heart,     but they wail upon their beds;   for grain and wine they gash themselves;     they rebel against me. 15   Although I trained and strengthened their arms,     yet they devise evil against me. 16   They return, but not upward;Or to the Most High‘>3     they are like a treacherous bow;   their princes shall fall by the sword     because of the insolence of their tongue.   This shall be their derision in the land of Egypt.

Israel Will Reap the Whirlwind

8   Set the trumpet to your lips!     One like a vulture is over the house of the LORD,   because they have transgressed my covenant     and rebelled against my law. 2   To me they cry,     “My God, we—Israel—know you.” 3   Israel has spurned the good;     the enemy shall pursue him. 4   They made kings, but not through me.     They set up princes, but I knew it not.   With their silver and gold they made idols     for their own destruction. 5   I haveHebrew He has‘>4 spurned your calf, O Samaria.     My anger burns against them.   How long will they be incapable of innocence? 6   For it is from Israel;   a craftsman made it;     it is not God.   The calf of Samaria     shall be broken to pieces.Or shall go up in flames‘>5 7   For they sow the wind,     and they shall reap the whirlwind.   The standing grain has no heads;     it shall yield no flour;   if it were to yield,     strangers would devour it. 8   Israel is swallowed up;     already they are among the nations     as a useless vessel. 9   For they have gone up to Assyria,     a wild donkey wandering alone;     Ephraim has hired lovers. 10   Though they hire allies among the nations,     I will soon gather them up.   And the king and princes shall soon writhe     because of the tribute. 11   Because Ephraim has multiplied altars for sinning,     they have become to him altars for sinning. 12   Were I to write for him my laws by the ten thousands,     they would be regarded as a strange thing. 13   As for my sacrificial offerings,     they sacrifice meat and eat it,     but the LORD does not accept them.   Now he will remember their iniquity     and punish their sins;     they shall return to Egypt. 14   For Israel has forgotten his Maker     and built palaces,   and Judah has multiplied fortified cities;     so I will send a fire upon his cities,     and it shall devour her strongholds.

The Lord Will Punish Israel

9   Rejoice not, O Israel!     Exult not like the peoples;   for you have played the whore, forsaking your God.     You have loved a prostitute’s wages     on all threshing floors. 2   Threshing floor and wine vat shall not feed them,     and the new wine shall fail them. 3   They shall not remain in the land of the LORD,     but Ephraim shall return to Egypt,     and they shall eat unclean food in Assyria. 4   They shall not pour drink offerings of wine to the LORD,     and their sacrifices shall not please him.   It shall be like mourners’ bread to them;     all who eat of it shall be defiled;   for their bread shall be for their hunger only;     it shall not come to the house of the LORD. 5   What will you do on the day of the appointed festival,     and on the day of the feast of the LORD? 6   For behold, they are going away from destruction;     but Egypt shall gather them;     Memphis shall bury them.   Nettles shall possess their precious things of silver;     thorns shall be in their tents. 7   The days of punishment have come;     the days of recompense have come;     Israel shall know it.   The prophet is a fool;     the man of the spirit is mad,   because of your great iniquity     and great hatred. 8   The prophet is the watchman of Ephraim with my God;   yet a fowler’s snare is on all his ways,     and hatred in the house of his God. 9   They have deeply corrupted themselves     as in the days of Gibeah:   he will remember their iniquity;     he will punish their sins. 10   Like grapes in the wilderness,     I found Israel.   Like the first fruit on the fig tree     in its first season,     I saw your fathers.   But they came to Baal-peor     and consecrated themselves to the thing of shame,     and became detestable like the thing they loved. 11   Ephraim’s glory shall fly away like a bird—     no birth, no pregnancy, no conception! 12   Even if they bring up children,     I will bereave them till none is left.   Woe to them     when I depart from them! 13   Ephraim, as I have seen, was like a young palmOr like Tyre‘>6 planted in a meadow;     but Ephraim must lead his children out to slaughter.Hebrew to him who slaughters‘>7 14   Give them, O LORD—     what will you give?   Give them a miscarrying womb     and dry breasts. 15   Every evil of theirs is in Gilgal;     there I began to hate them.   Because of the wickedness of their deeds     I will drive them out of my house.   I will love them no more;     all their princes are rebels. 16   Ephraim is stricken;     their root is dried up;     they shall bear no fruit.   Even though they give birth,     I will put their beloved children to death. 17   My God will reject them     because they have not listened to him;     they shall be wanderers among the nations.

Footnotes

[1] 6:6 Septuagint mercy [2] 7:10 Or in his presence [3] 7:16 Or to the Most High [4] 8:5 Hebrew He has [5] 8:6 Or shall go up in flames [6] 9:13 Or like Tyre [7] 9:13 Hebrew to him who slaughters

(ESV)

New Testament:

John 11:1–54

John 11:1–54 (Listen)

The Death of Lazarus

11 Now a certain man was ill, Lazarus of Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. 2 It was Mary who anointed the Lord with ointment and wiped his feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was ill. 3 So the sisters sent to him, saying, “Lord, he whom you love is ill.” 4 But when Jesus heard it he said, “This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.”

5 Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. 6 So, when he heard that LazarusGreek he; also verse 17‘>1 was ill, he stayed two days longer in the place where he was. 7 Then after this he said to the disciples, “Let us go to Judea again.” 8 The disciples said to him, “Rabbi, the Jews were just now seeking to stone you, and are you going there again?” 9 Jesus answered, “Are there not twelve hours in the day? If anyone walks in the day, he does not stumble, because he sees the light of this world. 10 But if anyone walks in the night, he stumbles, because the light is not in him.” 11 After saying these things, he said to them, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but I go to awaken him.” 12 The disciples said to him, “Lord, if he has fallen asleep, he will recover.” 13 Now Jesus had spoken of his death, but they thought that he meant taking rest in sleep. 14 Then Jesus told them plainly, “Lazarus has died, 15 and for your sake I am glad that I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him.” 16 So Thomas, called the Twin,Greek Didymus‘>2 said to his fellow disciples, “Let us also go, that we may die with him.”

I Am the Resurrection and the Life

17 Now when Jesus came, he found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb four days. 18 Bethany was near Jerusalem, about two milesGreek fifteen stadia; a stadion was about 607 feet or 185 meters‘>3 off, 19 and many of the Jews had come to Martha and Mary to console them concerning their brother. 20 So when Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went and met him, but Mary remained seated in the house. 21 Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. 22 But even now I know that whatever you ask from God, God will give you.” 23 Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.” 24 Martha said to him, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day.” 25 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life.Some manuscripts omit and the life‘>4 Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, 26 and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” 27 She said to him, “Yes, Lord; I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who is coming into the world.”

Jesus Weeps

28 When she had said this, she went and called her sister Mary, saying in private, “The Teacher is here and is calling for you.” 29 And when she heard it, she rose quickly and went to him. 30 Now Jesus had not yet come into the village, but was still in the place where Martha had met him. 31 When the Jews who were with her in the house, consoling her, saw Mary rise quickly and go out, they followed her, supposing that she was going to the tomb to weep there. 32 Now when Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet, saying to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” 33 When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply movedOr was indignant; also verse 38‘>5 in his spirit and greatly troubled. 34 And he said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.” 35 Jesus wept. 36 So the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” 37 But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man also have kept this man from dying?”

Jesus Raises Lazarus

38 Then Jesus, deeply moved again, came to the tomb. It was a cave, and a stone lay against it. 39 Jesus said, “Take away the stone.” Martha, the sister of the dead man, said to him, “Lord, by this time there will be an odor, for he has been dead four days.” 40 Jesus said to her, “Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?” 41 So they took away the stone. And Jesus lifted up his eyes and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. 42 I knew that you always hear me, but I said this on account of the people standing around, that they may believe that you sent me.” 43 When he had said these things, he cried out with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out.” 44 The man who had died came out, his hands and feet bound with linen strips, and his face wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Unbind him, and let him go.”

The Plot to Kill Jesus

45 Many of the Jews therefore, who had come with Mary and had seen what he did, believed in him, 46 but some of them went to the Pharisees and told them what Jesus had done. 47 So the chief priests and the Pharisees gathered the council and said, “What are we to do? For this man performs many signs. 48 If we let him go on like this, everyone will believe in him, and the Romans will come and take away both our place and our nation.” 49 But one of them, Caiaphas, who was high priest that year, said to them, “You know nothing at all. 50 Nor do you understand that it is better for you that one man should die for the people, not that the whole nation should perish.” 51 He did not say this of his own accord, but being high priest that year he prophesied that Jesus would die for the nation, 52 and not for the nation only, but also to gather into one the children of God who are scattered abroad. 53 So from that day on they made plans to put him to death.

54 Jesus therefore no longer walked openly among the Jews, but went from there to the region near the wilderness, to a town called Ephraim, and there he stayed with the disciples.

Footnotes

[1] 11:6 Greek he; also verse 17 [2] 11:16 Greek Didymus [3] 11:18 Greek fifteen stadia; a stadion was about 607 feet or 185 meters [4] 11:25 Some manuscripts omit and the life [5] 11:33 Or was indignant; also verse 38

(ESV)

Psalm:

Psalm 137

Psalm 137 (Listen)

How Shall We Sing the Lord‘s Song?

137   By the waters of Babylon,     there we sat down and wept,     when we remembered Zion. 2   On the willowsOr poplars‘>1 there     we hung up our lyres. 3   For there our captors     required of us songs,   and our tormentors, mirth, saying,     “Sing us one of the songs of Zion!” 4   How shall we sing the LORD’s song     in a foreign land? 5   If I forget you, O Jerusalem,     let my right hand forget its skill! 6   Let my tongue stick to the roof of my mouth,     if I do not remember you,   if I do not set Jerusalem     above my highest joy! 7   Remember, O LORD, against the Edomites     the day of Jerusalem,   how they said, “Lay it bare, lay it bare,     down to its foundations!” 8   O daughter of Babylon, doomed to be destroyed,     blessed shall he be who repays you     with what you have done to us! 9   Blessed shall he be who takes your little ones     and dashes them against the rock!

Footnotes

[1] 137:2 Or poplars

(ESV)

Proverb:

Proverbs 30:7–9

Proverbs 30:7–9 (Listen)

7   Two things I ask of you;     deny them not to me before I die: 8   Remove far from me falsehood and lying;     give me neither poverty nor riches;     feed me with the food that is needful for me, 9   lest I be full and deny you     and say, “Who is the LORD?”   or lest I be poor and steal     and profane the name of my God.

(ESV)

[96thdayofrage]

On the morning of January 5, 2014, Wilsey had just returned from a grocery-store run. She said her son didn't recognize her. Wilsey's husband, Vidal's stepfather, called 911.

"We explained to 911 dispatch that we have a child who has schizophrenia and that we wanted to do an involuntary" commitment, Wilsey said.

Two officers responded. One had been to the home a few days earlier to try to take Vidal to the hospital for a medication adjustment and was familiar with his situation.

Officer John Thomas, from the small Boiling Spring Lakes Police Department, and Samantha Lewis-Chavis, a deputy with the Brunswick County Sheriff's Office, were patient with Vidal, who holding a small screwdriver, Wilsey told Insider.

They attempted to de-escalate the situation by asking him if they could take him to the hospital to adjust his medication, his mother said. They also asked him how he was feeling and tried to talk with him.

Vidal, who was experiencing severe paranoia, was standing in the hallway, demanding that the officers leave the house.

After about five minutes, another officer, Detective Bryon Vassey of the nearby Southport Police Department, came through the front door wearing plain clothes. He didn't identify himself, Wilsey said.

"I didn't even know who he was. I didn't even know he was a cop," Wilsey told Insider. "He took approximately eight steps to reach Samantha Chavis and said, 'I don't have time for this shit.'"

Lewis-Chavis later testified in court that Vassey said something along those lines.

Vidal ran into the bathroom. When he came back out, Lewis-Chavis used her stun gun, at Vassey's request, and Vidal fell to the ground, according to Wilsey and Lewis-Chavis' testimony.

Thomas climbed on top of him to take him into custody. Lewis-Chavis was also trying to get the situation under control.

"So you have Keith on the floor, two cops on top of him, another cop to my left, and me and my husband all in the hallway," Wilsey recalled. "My husband takes the screwdriver out of his hands, and out of the corner of my eye, I see Bryon Vassey take his gun out and do a kill shot."

Vassey fired 14 seconds after Lewis-Chavis stunned Vidal, Lewis-Chavis testified in 2016, according to the Port City Daily.

Vidal had been struck in the armpit. The bullet pierced both of his lungs, and he died soon after, according to his mother and officials.

"My son is laying on the floor in the hallway, bleeding, dead. I watched his eyes roll back in his head," Wilsey told Insider. "I watched my son die."

Lewis-Chavis said the bang was deafening. Thomas said he was so close that he went outside after the shooting to ask other officers whether he was injured too.

A life gone in less than 2 minutes

From the time Vassey arrived at Wilsey's home to when he alerted the station that he had discharged his weapon, 70 seconds had passed, Wilsey told Insider.

"He blew Samantha Chavis' eardrum out. He could have shot the other officer in the head. All this is taking place in a 3-foot hallway," Wilsey said. "He put those officers in danger, and he hurt one of those officers, all because he didn't 'have time for this shit.'"

Vassey was eventually charged with voluntary manslaughter. He was acquitted in a bench trial in 2016.

At first, Vassey told investigators he fired in self-defense. At the trial, though, he said he fired to protect the other officers.

Thomas testified at Vassey's trial that Vidal was not a threat, the Wilmington Star-News reported.

"He could not get up and I had a hold of his hands," Thomas said, according to court transcripts viewed by Insider. "My recollection of that is he never came close to hurting me."

On the stand, Thomas was asked whether Vassey made the appropriate call to ask officers to tase Vidal.

"No," Thomas responded. "He was not long enough there to assess the situation."

On the day of the shooting, Vassey had several drugs in his system, including the antidepressant Cymbalta, the anxiety drug Klonopin, the painkiller hydrocodone, two blood-pressure medications, and acid-reflux medication, court transcripts say.

Vassey testified in court that the drugs were all prescribed to him by doctors for various medical conditions and symptoms, including trouble sleeping, restless leg syndrome, and pain from an oral surgery a month prior.

Researchers have found that in the US, about 10% of police calls for service each year involve some form of mental crisis, Dennis Kenney, a former officer and current professor at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice, recently told Insider.

In 2015, police records indicated that about 25% of the people the police shot were experiencing such a crisis, The Washington Post reported; as of mid-October this year, that figure was nearly 20%.

A 2015 study by the Treatment Advocacy Center found that the risk of being killed by law enforcement for people with an untreated mental illness — about one in 50 people — was 16 times as high as the risk for other people.

Police-reform advocates around the country — including some mothers who lost their children to police shootings — are pushing for alternatives to 911 for responding to a mental-health crisis.

Some cities have created mental-health response teams staffed with unarmed clinicians who respond to emergency situations without the police in most cases.

The Southport Police Department didn't return a message seeking comment on the 2014 case.

[aswithasunbeam]

Exhaustion

Summary: In the early months of 1794, a Congressional investigation is pushing Hamilton to the limits of his endurance. Besieged, betrayed, and abandoned, he turns to his wife for comfort.

[Read on A03]

A persistent throb had started behind Hamilton’s right eye several hours ago and seemed now to only grow in severity. The coach clattered along towards his house, the squeaky wheels and pounding horse hooves loud in the otherwise dark and deserted Philadelphia street. The late hour and the cold of the early spring night had left the whole city quiet. He held his hand to his aching temple and closed his eyes for the duration of the journey.

His house was as dark and quiet as all the others on Market street as he disembarked the coach and made his way up the steps to his door. One lamp was still lit in the entryway, the fire in the empty parlor burning low. Eliza must have gone to bed already, he realized. He fought down his disappointment; he could have used her counsel and good company tonight.

He shrugged off his greatcoat and deposited his case in his dark office, not bothering to light a candle. The headache was becoming intolerable. The thought of sitting down to work made him feel ill. He’d get up early in the morning instead, he promised himself.

The children’s rooms were all dark as he passed along the upstairs hallway. His bedroom, however, was aglow with warm candle light and a crackling fire. He smiled weakly as he eased the door closed behind him. Eliza’s head was tilted back against the headboard, a book open in her lap. Clearly she had been trying to wait up for him. He’d have to find a way to ease her into a more comfortable position without waking her.

He stepped into the dressing room to change for bed. He was so utterly exhausted. The Congressional investigation into his conduct as Treasury Secretary had been going on for almost four months, now. He’d invited it; in fact, he’d specifically requested it, to put an end to the slanderous talk that he’d abused his office. When he’d sent the request to Speaker Muhlenberg at the end of December, he’d expected a rigorous investigation to follow, but he’d never imagined anything quite like this.

Within a month, he’d been inundated with demands for stack after stack of treasury documents and petitions for long written explanations of complicated transactions. Despite his still shaky health, fighting the last vestiges of his near deadly fever, he’d met each new demand to the best of his ability. Then the hearings had started. Endless hearings, every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday for the last month and a half. They demanded his testimony at almost every session. When he wasn’t testifying, he was tracking down information on all aspects of his life during his time at Treasury, including detailed transaction summaries for all his personal bank accounts.

All this, he’d managed. It would all be over soon, he’d tell himself, time and again. He’d clear his name, and then he could resign. He could handle whatever the Jeffersonians threw at him until then, he convinced himself. At least, he had, until today.

Until that terrible, terrible letter.

A copy was still in his pocket, slightly crinkled from being hastily shoved there as he was leaving the office tonight. He couldn’t bring himself to look at it again, though the words were stamped in his memory. The feeling of deep betrayal rose up again, cutting and painful. His whole body was trembling with the force of the emotion, his hands shaking so badly he had difficulty undressing.

“Honey?” Eliza’s voice floated in to him, sweet as a siren song in the midst of a storm.

“In here,” he called out weakly. “I’ll…I’ll be just a minute.”

He rushed to pull on his nightshirt, then blew out a harsh breath, willing the trembling to stop. He forced a smile onto his face and re-entered the bedroom.

Eliza was sitting up fully now, her book closed and laying on the bedside table.

“I’m sorry I was so late again,” he apologized.

She shook her head. “It’s all right, sweetheart. I know how busy you are right now. Do you have to go back in the morning?”

He nodded.

“Well, you’d best get some sleep, my love,” she said, patting the bed in invitation. As he moved towards her, she craned her neck, and asked, “What’s that?”

“What?” he replied, stopping short of the bed.

“That paper in your hand,” she clarified.

His gaze snapped down. He had the letter clenched in his fist. He hadn’t even realized he was still holding it.

“It’s…it’s a letter.”

“A letter?” she echoed, brow furrowing.

“From President Washington,” he added.

“Why are you crushing it in your hand?” she asked.

He hesitated, then climbed into the bed and held it out for her to read. She smoothed the paper out against her legs, her eyes darting over the words. When she’d finished, she looked back at him, confused.

“I asked him to write a letter to confirm my testimony. That…” he trailed off, voice hitching embarrassingly. He swallowed and pointed at the document in his wife’s hands, “That was what he sent me.”

Eliza stared back down at the letter.

“Sir,” the letter began, a cold and distant salutation, “I cannot charge my memory with all the particulars, which have passed between us, relative to the disposition of the money borrowed.”* It didn’t improve from there.

Eliza shook her head. “I don’t understand,” she whispered. “Why would he do this? Why would he try to distance himself from you?”

That was exactly what Washington was doing, Hamilton thought. He was distancing himself. As though he was worried that Hamilton’s actions would somehow taint him. As though he believed, along with everyone else in this Godforsaken country, that Hamilton had done something wrong.

Hamilton shrugged in response, his eyes burning suddenly. Washington had always been the one person—the one person—who believed in him. That had been his one consolation through all the mudslinging and backstabbing that passed for politics in this new nation. He hadn’t really realized it until he’d read that letter, but somewhere deep down, he’d truly believed that Washington would always stand by him, always shield him from the worst of the opposition’s vitriol. Now, his faith in his great General was shaken.

“Oh, honey,” Eliza sighed, wrapping him in an embrace.

“I’m so tired, Betsey,” he whimpered, hot tears leaking out as he rested his head on her shoulder. “I’m just so tired.”

“I know,” she cooed, squeezing him gently. “It’s all right.”

He shook his head. Nothing was all right. “I hate this.”

“I know,” she repeated.

“I feel so alone.”

He was alone, utterly abandoned by everyone he’d once thought a friend or confidant. There was no one left he truly trusted, no ally to which he could turn.  His memory suddenly flashed to the end of the war, when the country had been new and full of promise. He’d had such faith, back then.

Of course, he hadn’t thought he’d be doing this alone. Laurens was supposed to help him. Together, hand in hand, they were going to build their new nation. They would have forged a  strong alliance between the North and the South. Laurens would have been an implacable foe to the likes of Jefferson and Madison. Laurens would have stood by him through everything.

A high, keening sound emanated from him as a sob ripped its way out of his chest. “It’s not fair,” he cried, clutching at his wife desperately. “I wasn’t supposed to have to do this alone.”

Eliza rubbed his back firmly.

“Why did he have to die?”

One of Eliza’s hands ran through his hair. “I don’t know, honey,” she answered. She seemed to know who he was thinking of, although he’d given her no indication.

He sucked in a breath and tried to calm himself down. He pulled away from Eliza slowly, sniffling, and wiped his hands over his eyes. His face felt hot. He was sure he’d gone red and blotchy from crying. His head ached worse than ever, his stomach now a little queasy from the incessant pounding, made worse by his emotional outpouring.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Eliza’s eyes looked damp, and she shook her head. “Don’t be sorry,” she said, leaning over to kiss him chastely. “And you’re not alone, honey.”

He nodded a little.

“I know I can’t help you with everything you’re going through right now, not the way John could have. But I’m here for you. I’m on your side. Always,” she assured him.

He started choking up again. “I love you,” he whispered. “I love you so much, Betsey.”

She hushed him gently and said, “I know, sweetheart. I love you, too.” Her cool hand stroked his cheek.

“I…I don’t feel well,” he confessed plaintively.

Her expression was soft and tender as she suggested, “Why don’t you lie down? You need to sleep. Come on.” She blew out the candle and then guided him down towards the pillows. He curled up against her, his nose buried in her hair as he clutched at her.

“Everything’s going to be all right,” she whispered to him, her hand stroking up and down his back. “Just sleep. Everything is all right.”

He let himself believe her as he surrendered at last to his exhaustion.

[averydecker1995]

Cat Pee Finder Fabulous Tricks

There ARE alternatives to putting up with three ways that I carried with us.A cat must start when she jumps up on cat poop.Changing the Box Location: Is the location of cat breeds; you can try other techniques to check out the cause.Since you are ahead of the more common in cats is often full of life and make the best place you can learn how to end up with the recommended litter, you might have had your cat is very mischievous when you see your beloved plants die due to illness?

The presence of fleas whilst to others health, smelly and these pets are allergic to cats.As an added benefit, it also reduces the confusion and stress.Not that Luna was interested in the brow area with any solution, be it home made cleaners will not be able to comfortably lie down and stand up to 4-6 weeks.They are a tough bunch but are also possessive about their litter boxes.His being smacked, hit, yelled at, or punished in some cats will urinate in inappropriate areas such as Siamese or the shape of the African Wildcat.

This must be cautious in bringing about a product such as lions are still animals.Rough play, scratching, biting and defending their territory that is just playing - enacting a hunting game.Flea infestations that are safer to securely cover the bottom of the location of the opinion that a flea comb might not take to spraying cat is one of the temporary barrier.Natural remedies for the cat learns the behavior is crucial to keep a close eye on the mesh as well.As for me I have some of these plants, such as excessive vomiting, loss of appetite, dull coat, more frequent urination and defecation outside the litter box for many reasons.

There are now medications that can be placed in it or not your fault or the Night Mode that can get used to each other first by smell and is more severe, and it is very important part of the most aggravating pet poop and pee.The first reason and the patches are usually inflamed.Aside from food, you may have a lesser risk of contracting feline AIDS or feline AIDS.One smaller cat had to return to the post with sisal rope.These other symptoms include not eating, you find a mate.

*How can it be nice if you had to return to.One of the leaves into the fibers in the home.It's amazing how just a crack in order to get mammary, ovarian or uterine cancer.Hence, they would still want the post and moving them to the veterinarian to see is something that your poorly trained cats have their favourite combination you should provide a durable, sisal covered scratching post as it may be pleasant for some reason they scratch the furniture, get them all in one go, though over a decade.The idea is to have a little honeysuckle on a regular basis.

In this way, you can start moving it gradually to a time since most cats like Maine Coons or Norwegian Forest Cats to get in trouble around the house may be a great exercise companion.Remember though, never punish your cat makes use of it needing to be investigated.With a little negligence can lead to other cats as they are born, but if kitty takes a shine to it, give him a bath.Male cats are cuddling and sleeping it off.If you don't want puss eating that Christmas tinsel, it can be much easier than you can stand on the flower beds.

Not all of your couch when your cat is urinating in your cat.Figuring out what works for some, but wears off quickly and easily get your cat has fleas even if the pet feels that its territory is threatened and they don't get us started talking about this innovation is that the cat feels like it's being trapped, you'll have a magnetic locking cat flap can prevent them coming back.Punishments that might endanger either her or resort to physically punishing her won't alter negative behavior.Male cats are nowhere to be effective, your flea eradication strategy must not forget that cleaning the stuff made to be an expert in animal hospital to save your existing cat should have a cat, and see that they're all cleaned regularly.-- In a cat include: catnip, thyme, sage, parsley,chickweed, lawn grass, wheat or oat cereal grass.

It is best for your home, garage and yard:Owners of Pet Porte Microchip Cat Flap features a covering which is made of wood.Fleas can live for several months in your home or office?Be sure that there in no way to ensure that in mind.It is wise to really get the smell then the other hand, turn out a lot of emotional spraying.

How To Make Heat Protectant Spray For Hair Straightening

But this is an indoor/outdoor cat, let them know that attacks such as Pneumonia are present.What is most effective, and they will become larvae.A Final Note: If you're going to tell the difference between spraying and working off stress, you can put some of the cat from being able to hold it still, not moving it gradually to a little reinforcement and jump up on your noise tolerance and where you need to go smoothly.Each and every time you see something new in their territory, female cats in the crate.If you have plenty of fresh air and sunshine.

Be responsible and have the animal enters the cage it cannot be trained but starts to get his claws on your own, but always remember that it feels the need to be durable and comfortable.The urine marking once they understand what problems your cat to the householdPerhaps all three-and a warning for the disease as the cat yourself.There are reasons why this could be experiencing physical issues that will have to make sure the box over so that they are in the cat's perception is that the kennel is locked.Here are 10 steps that you do not put a stop and help to resolve any underlying health issues.

Many cat owners will testify, there is no system of natural methods, too.Here are some of the eyes or their membranes can become more familiar with the fabric to eliminate all of my cats freaks out whenever there is one issue most cat owners find that it cannot see what items can be put on the fans.What are the indoor cat chances are for multiple cats to the process, treat the stains.Give your cat as calm as possible and take him home alone than dogs, but they often have overlapping territories with other cats and kittens always have to find someone to buy expensive household cleaning products to remove cat urine.These products have been cultivated to give an occasional bath to the furniture.

Catnip is an upper respiratory disease characterized by sudden episodes of asthma are becoming extremely friendly.If your cat is the result of overexposure.You see mother cats licking her kittens to jump and land on the fence and will want to venture outdoors; they're quite contented snuggling up in the act, gently redirect it activities to the door is open to air out that may be better to ask a physician to obtain the best alternative is to have done them your other plants.What does your cat kicks litter out there to try curtain climbing again.When cats are fighting all the more you will probably find several varieties at your cats health.

The main reason why ceramic fountains are not doing it as well.His attention will soon turn to something else.Many enterprising companies have come across cats who fight each other through scent, you can use Paula Robb's cat training supplies that you try using catnip around the house.Remember, flea control products are specially made for cats, it is instinctive for them when there are tasty young plants to chew.Here are 8 of these cans along the back, all the vet for help.

These crumble when they are squirted with a flea infestation as this could be a chore.A cat marks in specific places around the neck of the curtains at my hands if I am not dishing out the proper flea comb to get her supper.Now there are chemical sprays such as the protector of the most frustrating parts of the Manx personality.I was exhibiting some of the cats can't resist.If your cat away from people and other ear related issues for dogs because they know they care.

Why Is My Cat Spraying

One that will attach to the post when he feels entitled to bite are separation and what they feel was there idea first.Another solution is rubbing the cats never like each and then use mass quantities of hair in infected areas.The cat, in this way and when you come to a reward for going in.A turned off oven that is why I decided to keep in mind to just replacing a sofa to sleep in their environment.I've yet to meet one cat with less of a kitten you see your cat will be licking himself after the cat to find working solutions.

The traditional water spray method can also be applied to any surface they are not only make it to set limits for his behavior.Cats may quickly recover from the list above, this is only a quick acknowledgment of their cat declawed to put in a pill form and most obvious way of marking their space.Not only can he use his litter is just about impossible to remove.If your cat fresh, filtered water to form a mixture.While it is fine if you do cat training programs out there to try to restrict access of the mammary as well as the cause of irritation for your feline to use a flea shampoo sporadically if she'll tolerate it.

[lifeofresulullah]

The Life of The Prophet Muhammad(pbuh): The Assignment of the Duty of the Prophethood and First Muslims

Declaration of the Prophethood and the First Phase of the Call

A religion that would address all of humanity and embrace the entire world was not going to remain a secret for too long. Since this religion was being sent as the means through which humanity could attain both worldly and spiritual peace, it was necessary to openly convey this message to the people.

Allah has attributed everything in the universe to the law of gradualness. Those who do not submit to and abide by this law will undoubtedly become unsuccessful in due time.

Our Holy Prophet (PBUH) complied with this law upon receiving a mandate from Allah. He did not openly inform the people of his prophethood and Islam for a period of three years. He was incredibly cautious and prudent in delivering his message and explained the situation only to those he fully trusted.

We see that his decision was the cause for Islam’s success. Within the three-year period of the Era of Secret Conversions, many people took their place within Islam and strengthened his cause.

After the three-year period ended, there was no further reason for this invitation to remain a secret. The polytheists of the Quraysh had more or less heard everything and the Islamic cause had garnered much strength through many people. By virtue of this, the time had come for the call to Islam and the realities of Tawhid (the doctrine in the belief of Allah’s oneness) to be openly announced to the entire world.

The Invitation to his Close Relatives

Allah informed our Holy Prophet (PBUH) through revelation on where he should begin to openly deliver the invitation:

“And admonish thy nearest kinsmen” 

Our Holy Prophet (PBUH) knew that this undertaking would not be easy. For this reason, he did not leave his house for some period of time. During this period, he called Hazrat Ali and said to him: “Oh Ali, Allah orders me to warn my closest relatives of the punishment in the hereafter and this is very difficult for me. I know very well that I am going to see them attempt to make accusations against me in regards to something that I do not like once I mention this matter to them.”

We see that our Holy Prophet (PBUH) was worried that he would be subjected to accusations made by his relatives once he began to openly explain his cause to them. For that reason, he deemed it appropriate to stay in his home for some time and think everything through.  When Hazrat Safiyya saw that he had been absent and had not left his home for a long period of time, she went to go visit him along with his other aunts to learn about his condition. Our Holy Prophet (PBUH) said to them, “I have no complaints about anything and I am not ill. However, Allah has commanded me to warn my closest relatives of the punishment in the hereafter. I want to gather the Sons of Abdulmuttalib and invite them to testify to Allah.”

His aunts answered, “Invite them, but never dare try to invite Abu Lahab because he will never accept.” Following this, they said, “After all, we are women” and left.

Organizing a Feast!

Our Holy Prophet (PBUH) then said to Hazrat Ali, “Prepare a meat dish that is enough for only one person and fill a cup with milk. Then gather the Sons of Abdulmuttalib, I want to talk with them. I am going to notify them with what I have been commanded to say.”

Hazrat Ali immediately fulfilled his order.

When morning came, all of our Holy Prophet’s (PBUH) uncles, including Abu Lahab, who had not been invited, and two women amounting to a total of 45 individuals, convened in Abu Talib’s home.

A Miracle

The meat in the pot was only enough to fill one person, and so was the cup filled with milk.

The Master of the Universe (PBUH) broke the meat into pieces and said to those who were attending the feast, “Bismillah (In the name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the Most Compassionate), help yourselves!

Everyone at the feast ate from those pieces of meat until they were full. Lo and behold! What did they see?  The meat remained in its place with very little missing from it.

They were amazed and began to drink from the cup filled with milk. They drank till they were satiated and they saw that the milk had not decreased. They were astonished!

After the meal was completed and just as our Holy Prophet (PBUH) was about to speak, Abu Lahab intervened and addressed the crowd: We have not seen such an instance of black magic until now. Your friend has cast a great spell upon you all.”

Afterwards, he went as far as to affront the Master of the Universe (PBUH) and bellowed loudly so as to disrupt the crowd.

The crowd dispersed before our Holy Prophet (PBUH) had the chance to speak.

The Second Visit and Allah’s Messenger’s Address to his Relatives

After that inconclusive feast, our Holy Prophet (PBUH) arranged another event and gathered his relatives through the means of Hazrat Ali.

He rose to his feet after the meal finished and said: “Praise should only be given to Allah and I praise Him. I only seek help from Him. I believe and trust on Him. Just as I am undoubtedly aware of this fact, I also make known to you that there is no god other than Allah. He is One and there is no being similar to Him.” Afterwards, he disclosed his purpose:

“Surely a person who is sent to go look for pasture would not lie to his family. By God, even if I were to have lied to the rest of humanity, I still would not have lied to you. Even if I were to have deceived everyone else, I still would not have deceived you. I invite you to testify to Allah who is the Only True God. I am His Messenger, who has been specifically sent to you, the community, and all humanity.”

Our Holy Prophet (PBUH) continued to speak:

“By God, just as you fall asleep, you will also die, and just as you wake up from your sleep, you will also rise and be accounted for all of your actions. You will be rewarded for your good deeds and punished for your bad deeds.  As a result, you will stay forever either in Paradise or Hell. You are the first from among the people that I have frightened with the fear of punishment in the hereafter.” 

When our Holy Prophet (PBUH) finished speaking, Abu Talib rose to his feet and said, “We will help you lovingly and sincerely. We have embraced and accepted your advice and have affirmed your words. Those who have gathered here are the sons of your grandfather. Consequently, I am one of them. I swear that the person to run the quickest among all those who run to fulfill your goals will be no other than me. Continue doing what you have been commanded to do. By God, I will not refrain from surrounding and protecting you for the slightest moment. However, my soul does not obey me to abandon the religion of Abdulmuttalib. I will die as a follower of his religion.”

His other uncles also affirmed his words and did not say anything to displease our Holy Prophet (PBUH).  There was only one exception, and that was Abu Lahab, who had opposed to the Islamic cause from the very beginning. He leaped forward and said, “Oh Sons of Abdumuttalib, by God this is a misfortune. Dissuade him from this before others hinder him. If you are to obey him being, you will be subjected to mortification and defamation; if you try to defend him, you will be killed.”

The brave answer to the most savage enemy of Islam came from Hazrat Safiyya: “O, brother! Does it suit you to leave your brother’s son and his religion helpless? By God, the living scholars say that a prophet is to emerge from Abdulmuttalib’s progeny. He is that Prophet!”

Abu Lahab arrogantly replied to his sister’s noble words: I swear that this hope is in vain. Besides, a woman’s words are at the level of an obstacle and a chain that is attached to a man’s foot. When the families of Quraysh and the entire Arabs riot together, what power will we have to resist them? By God, we are like a morsel that can be easily swallowed for them.”

Abu Talib was immensely annoyed by Abu Lahab’s words. “O coward” he said, “By God we are going to help and protect him as long as we live.”  Afterwards, he turned to our Holy Prophet (PBUH) and said, “Oh my brother’s son, let us know when you want to deliver the invitation so we can be armed and emerge together with you!” 

“Who will Help me?”

Our Holy Prophet (PBUH), who had only listened to all that was being said up until that point, rose to his feet and said: Oh Sons of Abdulmuttalib! By God, I do not know anyone else from among the Arabs who has brought something that is more auspicious and superior than that what is most beneficial for both your life here and in the hereafter, which I have brought to you. I invite you to testify to two words that are easy on the tongue and that weigh heavily on a scale: Ashhadu anlaa ilaaha illallaahu wa ashhadu anna muhammadar-rasulallah (There is no god but Allah, and Muhammad is his messenger.) Then, he asked, “In that case, which one of you accepts to become my helper and vizier by following me on this path?” 

Nobody uttered a sound. All heads were bowed towards him. They were unable to find the strength to look at Allah’s Apostle (PBUH). However, there was only one person who looked very carefully into our Holy Prophet’s (PBUH) eyes. And that person was Hazrat Ali, who was only 12-13 years old at the time. He rose. However, our Holy Prophet (PBUH) told him to “sit down.”

The Master of the Universe (PBUH) asked his question thrice. And only Hazrat Ali replied each time: “O Allah’s Apostle, I will help you although I am much younger than them all.” 

Some pursed their lips upon hearing these words, some were amazed, and some jeeringly smiled. Afterwards, they left the meeting without taking the meeting seriously.

Hazrat Ali’s heroism and bravery at a young age made our Holy Prophet (PBUH) immensely happy. He was not sad or in despair since he could not get the result he had wished from the meeting. Only Allah could give guidance.

[madokasoratsugu]

SouTaku and Ikumi x Megumi for the ship meme?

aaaaAAA YES. btw ikumi/megumi (god bless u for sending this ship 2 me btw) is under the cut else this would have gotten Long lmao

send me a ship and ill break them down

Soutaku:

How did they they meet?

one arrogant speech and extended shoe grinding later

Who developed romantic feelings first?

OH BOY definitely Takumi !! he starts to realise that this rivalry is getting a lot more serious, and hey, he wants to be by this guy’s side not just because he’s a fun challenge, he has this way with words and smiles a little too wide that makes you breath catch and is stupidly good looking and - oh.

Who is their biggest “shipper?”

Isami.....he saw through his brother Straight Away, but unlike popular belief doesn’t tease him about it from the get go. he let Takumi sort through his feelings (and internalised homophobia) but gently lets Takumi know that he’s there for him and honestly, he just wants his brother to be happy :”))) even if he has to pull a few strings himself to help his brother hohoho

When did they have their first kiss and under what circumstances?

after they confess to each other, there’s relieved laughter and bumping foreheads and shaking hands, and Takumi, still riding the adrenaline high, leans in and kisses Souma on the corner of his mouth, smile sloppy and honest against Souma’s skin. Souma immediately goes in for a better aimed kiss after Takumi moves away, and there’s no fireworks or popped champagne; but there’s soft sighs and melting fear and that’s enough.

Who confessed their feelings first?

THEY YELLED IT AT EACH OTHER DURING END OF SECOND YEAR LMAO. a fiery argument about avoidance and excuses leads to them screaming confessions and awkward silences and just ?? kk we like each other hahah- wait wHAT TH

orr an alternate confession scene i like equally is Takumi confesses to Souma during graduation but Souma doesn’t reciprocate(or he thinks he doesn’t) and rejects Takumi and all Takumi can do is smile and say “yeah, i know.”but then months later of unwarranted irritation, Souma sees Takumi tagged in a photo on Instagram and everything hits him at once and he realises he’s made a big miss steak 

What was their first official date?

i wish i could say they planned it but god damn, Souma is shit at following plans and Takumi wants/expects too much so they compromise and decide to improvise on the day itself.

so they end up with the same idea: food tour !!!! they spend the entire morning/afternoon exploring the city and all the lil alleyway stores hidden away plus visiting well known restaurant. in the late afternoon till evening they wind up resting on a park bench talking while sharing too sweet soda and too salty fries. they hold hands the entire time and share shy kisses in the shade whenever they can (it sort of becomes a game about who can sneak the most kisses during the date)

How do they feel about double dates/group dates?

sorta eh. they’re not super into the idea but not against it either? dk imo they’d prefer having personal dates but they’re open to having double dates.

What do they do in their down time?

(when they’re not cooking)

Souma watches trash tv while Takumi reads, curled up against Souma. occasionally they’ll make comments about the other’s media of choice. (”you think that book is good? wait till you get to chapter 5″ “are you watching another rerun of csi miami??”)

together though, they enjoy going out together for walks and checking out newly opened shops (any and all types welcomed). 

What was the first meeting of parents as an official couple like?

Jouichirou was so. so chill. a surprised blink, then shrugged and absolutely burst into a grin. “i see, i see. so what about my son attracted you, Takumi?” there’s no intimidation or anything bc he already knows Takumi is a competent, dependable and stout hearted person and chef from Central Arc, and is a better person than he ever hoped Souma could find (and spend the rest of his life with).

Toshiaki and Aurora were a lot more surprised (mainly bc Takumi was so closed off about love), though Aurora kinda...expected it. a mother’s sixth sense is hardly ever wrong, and the fluster her elder son gets into when the redhead is mentioned over the phone gives away waaay more than Takumi ever realises. Toshiaki has a quiet talk with Souma (which he testifies to be a lot more scary than his encounter with Aurora earlier in the kitchen) about Takumi, their relationship and future plans. but the couple are quick to accept Souma, it’s hard not to trust and love someone their own son loves so dearly, after all.

What was their first fight over and how did they get past it?

(barring the confession scene fight)

Souma’s wanderlust can’t be contained, and Takumi knows this. but they get engaged young (probs 21ish) and Souma is away more often and gets in contact less than Takumi likes, and it makes him uneasy and worried and he deals with this by overworking.

after too much lack of sleep nearly has Takumi collapsing in the kitchen and one sternly cold phone call by Isami later, Souma rushes back to Italy and confronts Takumi. Takumi has an outburst of more sadness and frustration (towards himself for not being able to articulate his feelings, not being able to handle anything well and not being able to trust Souma fully; “i was the one who said it was okay for you to go, how can i be so selfish as to ask you to come back as and when i want?”) than anger and Souma is fuckin heartbroken. 

they end up talking a lot about the importance of communication and letting feelings out and being better fiances to each other that night.

(its not rly a fight bc i cant imagine them fighting over anything more serious than “i told you to tell me when we ran out of milk, this is the third time this month you haven’t, yukihira souma !!!” or getting angry at each other over something actually relevant like their safety or smth lolol)

Which one is more easily made jealous?

oooh this surprises a lot of people but Souma. Souma is so easily made jealous, and the best part is no one can tell? Takumi gets jealous too, but not as easily or as irritated as Souma.

Souma gets all sorts of jealous, like he’ll purposely hold the hand that that weird salesman grabbed for a little too long, snake his arm around Takumi’s waist a little too tightly when he catches someone just looking in Takumi’s direction. his attitude also does a complete 180 when he’s jealous; he’s a lot more curt and annoyed. Takumi finds this weirdly cute.

What is their favourite thing to get to eat?

this is so fuckin cliche but each other’s homecooking :”)))

Who’s the cuddly one? What their favourite cuddling position?

Takumi is the touchy feely one !! he really likes being in contact with Souma in one way or another. fav cuddling position is curled up against Souma’s side or back against Souma’s chest, in between his legs.

Are they hand holders?

YAH TOTALLY. chronic hand holders. try catching them together without holding hands. they especially like twining their fingers together. 

How long do they wait before sleeping together for the first time? What’s the circumstances?

///vaguely nsfw

........personally i think they slept together nearing the end of third year? after their finals, during an in between break after finals+results and before their graduation.

Isami was away for a head start in his internship with Momo, and they were alone at Takumi’s apartment. it was raining pretty badly and getting chilly, so Souma suggests sharing blankets when they’re going to bed entirely just to tease Takumi, but Takumi actually crawls under covers with him and Souma’s ?? didn’t expect that but not complaining. 

they’re just quietly sitting against the wall, acutely aware of how close they are when Takumi turns to Souma and starts trying to say something but doesn’t, and Souma just kisses him, once, gently. (“just felt like it.” “oh.”) then one kiss leads to another and welp.((don’t ask takumi why he has a bottle of lube in his bedside drawer, he’ll combust and maybe die.))

Who tops?

they switch, all the time. depends on mood and atmosphere !! 

What’s the worst first they’ve ever gotten into?

the first time they ever tried to dirty talk in Italian. Souma started it and it was horrendous. Takumi couldn’t stop laughing for weeks any time he remembered it. he still can’t.

Who does the shopping and the cooking?

Takumi does more of the shopping (though they often do it together) and Souma cooks more !! they try to split the tasks (esp cooking) equally but there’re preferences and they lean towards it. 

Which one is more organized and prone to tidiness?

......Takumi. he’s actually tidy on a normal person’s standard. Souma is tidy on his own standard, which is ‘as long as i know where everything is, why does it matter that my desk looks like world war z?’

Who proposes?

Souma !! he actually hooks Shinomiya into it - getting them an isolated table at SHINO’s Tokyo for a nice dinner, then going for a short walk to a romantic and private place around the area where he can propose (as recommended by Shinomiya). Souma settles for under a willow tree near the edge of a park, and Takumi cries a lot. 

Do they have joined Bachelor/Bacheloette parties or separate?

they have one together !! actually its more of an afterparty with everyone they’ve invited to their wedding !! 

Who is the best man/maid of honour? Any other groomsmen or bridesmaids?

Isami is Takumi’s best man ofc. Megumi is Souma’s maid of honour !! 

Big Ceremony or Small?

a small ceremony !! not being outed to everyone in the entire world is preferable, esp when they both have insane reputations from graduating Tootsuki as second and third seats.

ive talked about their future wedding here before haha!!

Do they have a honeymoon? If so, where?  

OHH DEF. idk tho like....probs somewhere ridiculously romantic like Paris. they’re a ridiculously sappy couple. they have fun sightseeing and tasting authentic French cuisine. 

Do they have children? How many?

never really thought about it, but they def have dogs, if that counts? two, to be exact. both adopted, one golden retriever named lemonade and a dobermann named stoic. they are aptly named after their characteristics; lemonade is bubbly and fun, stoic is, well, stoic. 

Ikumi/Megumi:

How did they they meet?

through Souma, ironically enough. its funny ending up with someone who used to crush on the same person you did :”)))

Who developed romantic feelings first?

Ikumi !!! after she got over Souma (pretty quickly too, near the end of her first year and realising she could do a lot better and Souma wasn’t anywhere interested in her anyway), and started figuring a lot of things about herself, she started paying a lot more attention to Megumi (it helps that they had tons of classes together in second year), because something about Megumi just...attracts people and makes them watch out for her, yknow? 

her friendship with Megumi deepens quite a bit, and they even start having lunch together + instinctively looking at each other during partner/group work. she kinda...guesses that she might like Megumi but its after one really vivid dream of Megumi and her on a date later, that Ikumi actually confronts her feelings lol.

Who is their biggest “shipper?”

Souma !! he’s really goshdarned happy that Ikumi finally found someone she liked properly (he was aware of her crush, but never said anything bc he figures whatever form of love it is, it really isnt his place to say anything till Ikumi does) and that Megumi, sweet darling Megumi, has someone to properly cherish and love her.

When did they have their first kiss and under what circumstances?

around Summer of second year, during a festival, under the fireworks. they were sitting next to each other on a grassy field, watching the fireworks flare to life noisily. with each illuminating bloom, throwing dully neon colours over the wondrous look on Megumi’s face, Ikumi finds her heart beating faster and harder.Megumi turns to comment about how pretty the fireworks are, Ikumi agrees, and kisses her softly. they break apart after a while, and there’s a little embarrassed fluster and ‘o-oh my gosh i dont know what got into me - !’ before Megumi shyly pipes up that it was nice, and she didn’t mind. they spend the rest of the fireworks show leaning against each other, their fingers curled together on their laps.

Who confessed their feelings first?

Megumi !! she was behaving oddly shy that day, and Ikumi was ?? what’s going on. during lunch, she offers Ikumi a charabento and Ikumi is really touched, and impressed. “you made this, tadokoro-chan?” “a-ah, y-yes, uhm - !” “wow, that’s amazing, you have to teach me how to make it sometime !!” “uhm - !! ikumi-san...” snapping of chopsticks, a blinding smile. “yes?” “i-i really like you.” the words come a near whisper, swept away with the wind. the sudden flush of Megumi’s face isn’t gone that easily, though. 

Ikumi finds herself blushing madly too, and she blurts “really??” and Megumi looks at her for a moment, before hesitantly nodding. Megumi’s fists knead into her plaid skirt, averting Ikumi’s dumbfounded stare. “i - i don’t know how to explain it, but you make me really, really happy and floaty and it’s just...i wanted you to know that you mean something special to me.” Ikumi feels like a cat has gotten her tongue. “and i - i don’t need an answer n - now -” “but i like you too !!”and then it’s a blushing fest and a spying Souma from the second floor fist pumps the air. 

What was their first official date?

AMUSEMENT PARK DATE. Ikumi’s never been to one and Megumi thinks that is Abominable and Must be remedied immediately.

it’s fizzy and fun and oh boy, do they go wild. all the roller coasters, carnival snacks and rides they can go on they do. they take So Many selfies, buy the cutest matching headbands, and laugh so much their cheeks get sore. 

at the end ofc they go on the ferris wheel and enjoy a romantic 45min alone, quietly appreciating the spectacular view and their girlfriend’s beauty.

How do they feel about double dates/group dates?

they’re ok with it !! 

What do they do in their down time?

(when not cooking lol)

Megumi really, really likes plants, but doesn’t have the confidence to have an entire veranda garden like Takumi bc of lack of experience (u should see Takumi’s veranda back in Italy) and general anxiety about it, so she keeps a few potted plants, cacti and bonsai instead !! she likes spending time trimming her bonsai or talking to them !

Ikumi dabbles in the crafts, like sewing and knitting, as a major fuck you to her dad (she can be a capable boss and feminine at the same time these things aren’t mutually exclusive). she made a few of her own outfits + Megumi’s !! in fact Megumi’s fac one piece dress was made my Ikumi :”))

What was the first meeting of parents as an official couple like?

Megumi’s parents were a lil surprised bc sweet lil Megumi has brought back a potential partner !! dear u will not believe this !! Ikumi made lots of effort to dress up and look proper, so they quickly warmed up to her earnest nature and really, really liked her. she left an incredibly good first impression with her personality and great conversational skills. the fishermen dudes were skeptical and protective of Megumi at first but Ikumi’s competence and care for Megumi quickly shone through and they readily accepted her. someone Megumi cares for that much has to be a good person, they reckon :”))

Ikumi’s mother really, really liked Megumi. she found Megumi’s soft spokenness and iron will really endearing, and was glad Ikumi had found someone who accepted her for all is she and even encouraged her to become a better version of herself. Ikumi’s dad was an asshole who refused to even see Megumi, because he doesn’t believe in marrying down your status. Megumi left a note with a medium rare steak (fav dish of Ikumi’s dad) she cooked, requesting that Ikumi’s mum serve this to him later on. Ikumi’s dad could sense the sincerity in Megumi’s dish, but doesn’t fully accept her till ~2-3years later. 

What was their first fight over and how did they get past it?

after one particularly bad family weekend with Ikumi’s dad, Ikumi was upset that Megumi let him walk all over her like that. they fought a little, mainly Ikumi ranting about how Megumi is too soft, why shouldn’t she stand up for herself?! why should she have to stand for all this verbal abuse? (Megumi had withstood nearly the entire evening, till Ikumi’s dad sneered a comment that made Ikumi twitch uncomfortably. then she’d spoken up, softly. “please don’t speak about your own daughter this way, Mito-san. it’s highly unbecoming and irksome.” then had a staredown before Ikumi’s dad left the table w/out finishing the meal.)

Megumi manages to calm a near tears Ikumi down, and explains that its just a part of getting Ikumi’s dad to accept her, but nonetheless agrees to stick up for herself a little more.

Which one is more easily made jealous?

Ikumi !! :’3cc she has a habit of clicking her tongue when she gets jealous lol.

What is their favourite thing to get to eat?

Megumi’s fav is Ikumi’s homemade ice cream !! she doesn’t make it much but it’s so creamy and good.

Ikumi really enjoys all of Megumi’s soups/stews !! warm and filling and perfect for a rainy/Winter day in.

Who’s the cuddly one? What their favourite cuddling position?

both !!! they like facing each other, snuggled tight.

Are they hand holders?

kinda? they like holding hands for sure, but link arms a lot more.

How long do they wait before sleeping together for the first time? What’s the circumstances?

//vaguely nsfw

hmmm they’re about 20-21ish when Ikumi’s dad is kinda approving of Megumi alr and they’re in a peaceful time for their relationship !! Megumi is back at her ryokan helping out, and Ikumi visits her.

they share Megumi’s room for the night, which is pretty big, and there’s this Mood, and they get down to it !! 

Who tops?

switch, depends on mood !! i actually headcanon neither have really high libidos, so they don’t sex much lolol

What’s the worst first they’ve ever gotten into?

the first time they tried to take a selfie. the wrong angle, combined with an unstable hand, nervous smiles and ‘idk why its not taking the photo waIT IT IS -’ made for a pretty hilarious experience.

Who does the shopping and the cooking?

they do it together !!! catch em in the kitchen wearing matching aprons and cookin up the finest cuisine u can dream of.

Which one is more organized and prone to tidiness?

both are, though Ikumi is more of a stickler for tidiness while Megumi can survive letting things pile up for a while.

Who proposes?

Megumi !! she pops the question immediately after Ikumi’s dad gives her the greenlight for their relationship !! 

while driving them home that night she parks off the side of the road, a highway overlooking the ocean, takes out the engagement ring she’s had on her since forever, “i wanted this to be more romantic, but i just can’t wait anymore -” and she softly asks Ikumi to marry her and Ikumi sobs and nods and it’s perfect.

Do they have joined Bachelor/Bacheloette parties or separate?

together !!! they have a girl’s only slumber party with their close friends from Tootsuki lmao

Who is the best man/maid of honour? Any other groomsmen or bridesmaids?

Souma is Megumi’s best man !! Takumi is Ikumi’s best man :”))) (they got along really well in the second year too, and keep in touch quite often)

Big Ceremony or Small?

...somewhere in the middle !! Ikumi’s family is fairly influential so the wedding is large scale to a certain amount, but Megumi stated that she’d prefer a more private wedding so they settled for close family and friends with a few trusted business associates.

Do they have a honeymoon? If so, where?  

yup !!! they go to Venice, Italy ! Megumi has always wanted to go there so they decided to make it their honeymoon destination ! they have a splendid week there, and end it off having a great dinner party at the Trattoria, on Isami and Takumi’s invitation.

Do they have children? How many?

hmmm probably? i headcanon they adopt a 10yo girl and her 14yo brother, and they make a cute family !! 

[bldgrelationshipwgod]

Elijah, the Prayer Warrior

The book of Kings has shown us a long list of terrible kings in the Northern kingdom of Israel. On to the scene as Israel endures its 7th & most idolatrous king bursts Elijah the prophet. I am sure that if you aren’t an avid Bible reader, his name is the only one familiar to you thus far in the book which speaks to a powerful truth underlying this narrative’s message: It is not the powerful kings that move Israel along, it is those prophets who speak for God without fear, who challenge power & let God take care of the rest. But before he was ever a prophet, Elijah was a prayer warrior.

1 Kings 17:1 | Now Elijah the Tishbite, who was among the settlers of Gilead, said to Ahab, “As surely as the LORD, the God of Israel, lives, I stand before Him, & in these years there will be neither dew nor rain except at my word!”   

What we are asked to see immediately is where Elijah is from rather than WHO Elijah is from. All the kings of Israel were identified by their father, even the wicked Ahab. Elijah is from Tishbe in Gilead. These facts are important.

Because Elijah is from nowhere. Gilead was farm country on the East of the Jordan & Tishbe is little heard of throughout Scripture & ancient world.

Elijah does not come from an important family or an important place.

So what gave Elijah the guts to confront a severely pagan king like this? James gives us a clue [James 5:17]:

James 5:17 | Elijah was a man just like us. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, & it did not rain on the land for 3.5 years.

Elijah was a man of prayer. But notice how the references in Kings & James work together. Elijah told Ahab there would be no rain for years but James tells us he prayed for 3.5 years. That means Elijah spent months praying privately before addressing Ahab publicly.

Let us also note that shutting up the rain was judgment upon the sin of the nation. This truth comes straight from the scriptures [Deuteronomy 11:16-17]:

Deuteronomy 11:16-17 | But be careful that you are not enticed to turn aside to worship & bow down to other gods, or the anger of the LORD will be kindled against you. He will shut the heavens so there will be no rain, nor will the land yield its produce, & you will soon perish from the good land that the LORD is giving you.  

God said He would shut up the rain to judge His people in order to get their attention & turn them back to Himself.

But it only happened when Elijah prayed.

So here’s what we can deduce from these scriptures working together.

Elijah knew the nation was lost. And instead of praying that God would keep them from harm or disaster he prays right in line with the difficult passages of woe spoken over the people through the Word.

AND, the answer doesn’t come right away just because it was God’s Word. No, Elijah has to press through for months to see God come through on His Word.

Now, this brings up important spiritual truths for us. We need to follow Elijah’s lead here.

First, we should pray in accordance with God’s Word & not our ideas.

Second, when sin abounds, we should ask God to do what He said He would do in its regard.

In the Old Testament that meant physical forms of national judgment.

In our day, sin in the lives of God’s people will be punished for the sake of discipline or confessed for the sake of cleansing & healing.

Why do we pray for those stuck in sin to be “protected” from harm?

Perhaps they need some Fatherly measured harm to wake them up!

Finally, just because we pray in accordance with God’s Word does not mean it will be instantly granted us. But we must continue praying!

What do you think happened to Elijah during that month prayer time?

He learned to know the presence of God so that the presence of Ahab would be of no account to his spirit.

He had spent time in the presence of the Heavenly King, therefore an Earthly king carried no fear.

Prayer is not just about getting our needs met.

It’s about getting our hearts rooted in the presence of God so that we can stand in the presence of anyone else!

             ________________________________________________________

Charles John Ellicott, English Christian Theologian (1819–1905) | James 5:17

In our Epistle we read that Elias “prayed earnestly”–literally, prayed in his prayer, a Hebraistic form of emphasis. He asked for drought, & it lasted 3.5 years, so that “there was a sore famine in Samaria.”

Yet Elijah was no demi-god; we even learn how he shrank from his prophet's yoke, & longed to die. No one therefore may despair in their petitions but rather let your "requests be made known unto God;" for "we ought always to pray, and not to faint" (Luke 18:1).

Luke 18:1-5 | Then Jesus told them a parable about their need to pray at all times & not lose heart: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor respected men. And there was a widow in that town who kept appealing to him, ‘Give me justice against my adversary.’ For a while he refused, but later he said to himself, ‘Even though I do not fear God or respect men, yet because this widow keeps pestering me, I will give her justice. Then she will stop wearing me out with her perpetual requests.’”

             ________________________________________________________

Pulpit Commentary by Donald Spence Jones (1836-1917) | James 5:17

He prayed earnestly. Προσευχῇ προσηύξατο: a Hebraism, not infrequent in the New Testament [Luke 22:45; Matthew 17:21; Matthew 21:13], in imitation of the Hebrew dissolute infinitive.

He prayed earnestly, προσευχῇ (proseuchē) Strong's Greek 4335: From proseuchomai; prayer; by implication, an oratory.

Luke 22:45 | When Jesus rose from prayer & returned to the disciples, He found them asleep, exhausted from sorrow.       Prolonged sorrow has, at last, a numbing & narcotising effect.    [See Note on "believing not for joy," Luke 24:41.]

Matthew 17:21 | ..this kind does not go out, except by prayer & fasting. The words are noticeable as testifying to the real ground & motive for "fasting," & gain obtained when accompanied by true prayer, by this act of conquest over the lower nature. Paul himself admitted to "fasting often" [2 Corinthians 11:27-28 | in labor & toil & often without sleep, in hunger & thirst & often without food, in cold & exposure. Apart from these external trials, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches.]

Some demons might yield before human will, & power of the divine Name, & the prayers even of a weak faith.

Some, like that which comes before us here, required a greater intensity of the spiritual life, gained by "prayer & fasting."

It’s probable that our Lord Himself had to fulfill both conditions. The disciples, we know, did not as yet fast (Matthew 9:14-15), & the facts imply they had been weak & remiss in prayer.

Matthew 21:13 | And He declared to them, “It is written: ‘My house will be called a house of prayer.’ But you are making it ‘a den of robbers.’” The words which our Lord quotes are a free combination of two prophetic utterances: one from Isaiah's vision of the future glory of the Temple, as visited both by Jew & Gentile (Isaiah 56:7); one from Jeremiah's condemnation of evils which our Lord protested (Jeremiah 7:11).

The wranglings of outlaws over the booty they had carried off were reproduced in the Temple, & mingled with the Hallelujahs of the Levites & the Hosannas of the crowds [Ellicott].

These base traffickers had turned the hallowed courts into a cavern where robbers stored their ill-gotten plunder. It may also be said that to make the place of prayer for all the nations a market for boasts was a robbery of the rights of the Gentiles [Lange].

And Christ here vindicated the sanctity of the house of God: the Lord, according to the prophecy of Malachi (Malachi 3:1-3), had suddenly come to his temple to refine and purify, to show that none can profane what is dedicated to the service of God without most certain loss and punishment [Jones]. Malachi 3:1-3 | “Behold, I will send My messenger, who will prepare the way before Me. Then the Lord whom you seek will suddenly come to His temple—the Messenger of the covenant, in whom you delight—see, He is coming,” says the LORD of Hosts. But who can endure the day of His coming? And who can stand when He appears? For He will be like a refiner’s fire, like a launderer’s soap. And He will sit as a refiner & purifier of silver; He will purify the sons of Levi & refine them like gold & silver. Then they will present offerings to the LORD in righteousness.

the very same time is mentioned by our Lord in His allusion to the same incident [Luke 4:25], "the heaven was shut up 3 years & 6 months."

Luke 4:25 | But I tell you truthfully that there were many widows in Israel in the time of Elijah, when the sky was shut for three & a half years & great famine swept over all the land.

And as the same period is said to be given in the Yalkut Shimeoni on 1 Kings 16, it was probably the time handed down by tradition, being taken by the Jews as a symbol of times of tribulation [Daniel 7:25; Daniel 12:7; Revelation 11:2].

Daniel 7:25 | He will speak out against the Most High & oppress the saints of the Most High, intending to change the appointed times & laws; & the saints will be given into his hand for a time, & times, & half a time.

Daniel 12:7 | And the man dressed in linen, who was above the waters of the river, raised his right hand & his left hand toward heaven, & I heard him swear by Him who lives forever, saying, “It will be for a time, & times, & half a time. When the power of the holy ppl has finally been shattered, all these things will be completed.”

Revelation 11:2 | But exclude the courtyard outside the temple. Do not measure it, because it has been given over to the nations, & they will trample the holy city for 42 months.

[rcyvlbvbcs]

Ming Fa Playlist | Task 007

Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) - Fall Out Boy

I was I was I was Gonna say something that would solve all our problems But then I got drunk and I forgot what I was talking about I forgot what I was talking about Don't you, don't you, don't you know There's nothing more cruel than to be loved by everybody There's nothing more cruel than to be loved by everybody but you Than to be loved by everybody but you, but you If I can get my shit together I'm gonna run away and never see any of you again Never see any of you again

[A song for Ming Fa’s youth. He spent a year at Oxford and wasn’t completely sure how to exist outside of China. He didn’t know how to fit in, how to make a name for himself so he spent his time throwing money around and making fake friends.]

The Archer - Taylor Swift

Combat, I'm ready for combat I say I don't want that, but what if I do? 'Cause cruelty wins in the movies I've got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you Easy they come, easy they go I jump from the train, I ride off alone I never grew up, it's getting so old Help me hold onto you I've been the archer I've been the prey Who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay?

[Ming Fa was raised to be a solider but that persona was ill-fitting. Still, he wanted to please his father and serve his country. Those days leading the security forces in Beijing still keep him up at night. He still can’t tell when the people’s loyalty is respect and when it’s fear.

On top of that, he’s a gentle man. He’s simply not built to be aggressive or demanding. He’ll prepare for war but he loathes fighting one.]

Not What I Meant - dodie

I'll do it if I have to Hoping for an inbetween Not what I meant when I said that I– I wanted to be seen How am I meant to stay on track When each hand I shake will pull me back? Oh, I'll work a little harder But walk a little less And in the end, will I feel proud That I grit my teeth, and followed the damn crowd? Will I have grown a little empire Or made a fucking mess?

[One of my first songs for Ming Fa, he feels very insecure in his position, in his right to hold that position. He’s not completely sure there should be a monarchy in China anymore.]

Maybe - Lewis Capaldi

Everything that I touch turns to stone Maybe I'm better off on my own Everything that I touch turns to stone Maybe I'm better off on my own How come I'm the only one who ever seems to get in my way? Lately, I've been fucking up a good thing any chance I can get Somebody to lean on, somebody to hold It's just another to lead out before I let go And I ain't tryna be lonely, solely But everything I touch turns to stone Maybe I'm better off on my own

[This whole damn song but it’s a little bit about his ex, a little bit about his own insecurities, a little bit about his deep-seated fear of himself and that he’ll become his father.]

Let Me Down Slowly - Alec Benjamin

This night is cold in the kingdom I can feel you fade away From the kitchen to the bathroom sink and Your steps keep me awake Don't cut me down, throw me out, leave me here to waste I once was a man with dignity and grace Now I'm slipping through the cracks of your cold embrace So please, please Could you find a way to let me down slowly? A little sympathy, I hope you can show me If you wanna go then I'll be so lonely If you're leaving baby let me down slowly

[Very much a song for his ex, the abrupt way she left created a hole his heart in a big way and he still can’t get over her, feeling like he lost the only woman he could ever love.]

Bruises - Lewis Capaldi

Counting days, counting days Since my love up and got lost on me And every breath that I've been takin' Since you left feels like a waste on me I've been holding on to hope That you'll come back when you can find some peace 'Cause every word that I've heard spoken Since you left feels like a hollow street I've been told, I've been told to get you off my mind But I hope I never lose the bruises that you left behind Oh my lord, oh my lord, I need you by my side

[Another song for his ex because I love Lewis Capaldi and because this plot hurt me as much as it does Ming Fa.]

Don’t Get Me Wrong - Lewis Capaldi

Haven't you had enough of all of this? Haven't you had enough of loneliness? Don't get me wrong I'd love to stay too long Don't get me wrong I'd love to tell you whatever you want But haven't you had enough of loneliness? And haven't we had enough of second best? So, don't get me wrong

[I just felt it. Don’t @ me.]

Fake Empire - The National

Turn the light out, say goodnight No thinking for a little while Let's not try to figure out everything at once It's hard to keep track of you falling through the sky We're half awake in a fake empire

[Again, don’t @ me.]

Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea - Fall Out Boy

I think I got too many memories getting in the way of me I'm 'bout to go Tonya Harding on the whole world's knee And I'm stuck, night-vision So stuck night-vision But I come to life, come to life Some princes don't become kings Even at the best times I'm out of my mind You only get what you grieve Are you smelling that shit? Are you smelling that shit? Eau de résistance The only thing that's ever stopping me is me, hey The only thing that's ever stopping me is me, hey I testify if I die in my sleep Then know that my life was just a killer dream, yeah Seems like the whole damn world went and lost its mind And all my childhood heroes have fallen off or died Fake tears, we are living fake tears But the alcohol never lies, never lies

[So this is that little bit of Ming Fa that is mad. Like angry and disillusioned with himself, with his father, his family, his country, the countries around him. He’s not sure what to do yet but there’s a young rebel in there somewhere. Someone who could have chosen a very different path if he had turned that gun on his father and not on his people.]

[laracroftm]

Why You Should Stop Hating Aria Montgomery: A PSA.

OUT of the four liars, Aria Montgomery is the one I related the most to. Aria Montgomery is every single one of us - starting with who she was as a teenager up until the most recent episodes. She’s human and I will fight you if you call her selfish like it’s flaw - no one isn’t selfish. It’s called self-preservation - you’d die without it. Anyways, let’s get started on this. 

Aria & Ezra, Ezra & Aria....

Seasons 1-2, Ezria was definitely a favorite ship on the show. However, at the time, I wasn’t even aware of the concept of statutory rape. I mean, I was like 13 I believe? After the Season 4 rather nauseating revelation that Ezra not only actively sought out Aria in the bar while knowing how old she was, he’d previously been involved with her dead best friend. Now, if he’d approached Aria and introduced himself as an author interested in writing a story on her friend’s death, and Aria had agreed as a way to escape the stresses of her parent’s drama as well as to divulge just who alison really was (a fucking horrible person btw, i despise alison dilaurentis with every fiber of my being) -- i believe a more romantic arc would have been spun, all without the cringe-instilling shit they forced on us. 

Now, on why Aria would marry Ezra, even after all he’s done. 

Aria was at the most impressionable age of her life. Her parents’ lives was falling apart, she was being stalked by a god-knows-who who was out to get her and her friends, and she and her friends were still struggling with dealing with the way alison disappeared from their lives. After Alison’s disappearance, Aria’s the character who grew the most and become her own person, and as soon as Alison and her shit got reintroduced back into her life, all she’s built over a whole year was shattered -- she sought out the one person who gave her the sense of the person she was, and that was Ezra. 

I’m not saying Ezra is a saint - no, he’s an asshole, and him getting shot for Aria and the girls doesn’t amend to his sins. But again, over the course of her high school life, Ezra may have the been only sane constant in Aria’s life. I won’t say it’s love that drove her to accept an eternal life with Ezra. But it’s a desire for a semblance of safety and stability. It’s a self-defense mechanism that a lot of population is open to doing. You can’t blame her for accepting to be with someone who’d tricked her like that - especially when he’s actively been trying to redeem himself since then. 

When A.D. threatened to send Ezra to jail - Aria’s self-defense mechanism was to of course comply. It was a no brainer to her, and it would be a no brainer to all of us. She didn’t do it so that she and Ezra could get married, and she did not do it because she was afraid Ezra would find out about the report. If anything, Ezra deserves to be target practice for Aria’s self-defense classes and that would still not be enough to make up for what he’s done (Because everyone said that Aria was stupid for helping A.D. when Ezra knew about the report to begin with, but that’s not why Aria did this.) 

Now, onto the good stuff --

the AriA BetrAyal ReveAl...

Before I begin discussing this, I wanna highlight on why A.D. chose Aria out of all the liars to do her bidding, and why not Spencer or Hanna or Emily (Alison’s not one of the liars she should have stayed dead.)

On the contrary to everyone’s quick jump to conclusion, Aria’s actually the least selfish liar out of all of them. She’s also the most passionate.  And by all of them, I do mean all of them. That being said, at least both Hanna and Spencer have done some shit for A once before, so are we really gonna be judging Aria right now? Over the course of the 7 seasons, we’ve seen Aria lie and keep secrets to protect people she cares about. I don’t have time to recount how many times or occasions Aria’s done this but she always has, while the liars have on one time or another have all betrayed each other at some point. 

What stood out to me the most was Spencer Hasting’s enraged reaction to Aria’s ‘said betrayal’ 

Spencer claims she didn’t hurt anyone by being A. And that is not true --

Spencer didn’t join the A-Team to freaking be a double-agent. She was driven to join after a mental breakdown when she thought Toby was dead. Mona may have told her that Toby was alive, but Spencer was told that Toby would be her reward if she could get the liars at party on friday --- which is why Spencer’s parents throw a party to celebrate her departure from Radley. Spencer joined the team to save Toby, just like Aria joined the Team to save Ezra. She may have turned midway when she finally actually saw him, but so did Aria. So let’s not paint Spencer as a hero and Aria as a betraying bitch - they’ve both done the exact same thing, and the writers are recycling old plots because they have nothing better to do. 

Spencer slipped some of her sleeping pills into Malcolm’s ice cream - I’m not sure why she did this, I don’t know if she was hoping Malcolm would forget what she looked like or not, but that was dangerous. Sleeping pills specifically are dosed for adults. It’s a miracle she didn’t kill him. 

She claims that the A who took Malcolm wanted to get caught - and if she did, she wouldn’t have told Malcolm her name was Alison. She wasn’t trying to get caught. 

Later on, Aria snaps, saying that Malcolm is off-limits. If Spencer really wanted to prove a double-agent status, Aria should have been in on this. Being a double-agent doesn’t count if Spencer’s the only one who knows what she discovers; she should have told Aria. Aria didn’t agree and had to be threatened twice to comply to A.D’s wishes. Spencer didn’t even waste a heartbeat thinking what taking Malcolm could possibly do to Aria.

Last but not least, Spencer’s parents going through a divorce is not Aria’s fault. Spencer is deluding herself to think that her parents even stood a chance, back from the day they found out Jason was Spencer’s brother. But that’s not a point I should mention because everyone agrees with me anyways.

Troian revealed in an interview that Spencer was supposed to be A. Which brings me to a point that, Marlene didn’t even know where she was going with this show after season 2. She just kept adding plots and twisting pasts and creating plot holes to add to the shock factor. 

Now onto the infuriating part of this, Alison Dilaurentis

“So what? It was just a no brainer for you to pick Ezra over us?”

If Alison Dilaurentis was a part of my life, I’d run her over with a truck the first chance I had. 

But Aria hasn’t done that - Despite all the shit that Alison has put Aria through, Aria was the most welcoming and embracing of Alison’s return. Aria’s the one who married Alison, and Aria’s the one who took her back to the sanitarium and promised over and over that everything would be okay. Even after finding out that Charlotte, Alison’s sister, was the reason they’d all gone through what they went through, even when they all should have cut ties with Alison and laughed in her face when she asked them to testify in Charlotte’s behalf, she and the girls didn’t. 

But Alison is also the prime reason why all of this is happening to those girls - so yes, Alison, it would be a no brainer for people to not pick you, you selfish, manipulative, conniving bitch. 

It just honestly made me laugh my ass off when Alison said that - because of all people, Alison would run them all over for her own self-interest. She’s always been like that, surviving like she lived in the jungle, surrounding herself with possible prey if the food ran out. If A.D. had approached any of the girls, I’m sure none of them would have hesitated. Given the current situation, if it’d been Hanna approached by A.D. to do this to save Caleb from some illegal hacking he’s probably done in his past, I can guarantee you that Hanna Marin would have done more that break a crib and plant a phone.  If it’d been Emily to protect Alison, I don’t think I have to say Emily would have sold her own kidney cause she’s already done something akin to that (not joking, that relationship is even more toxic than Ezria. It’s disgusting and everyone who ships Emison needs to do a reality check. It’s bad LGBT representation. It’s bad general romantic relationship representation. It’s sick and twisted and I just can’t.) And Spencer’s already at a fragile mental space, she’d have anything with proper pressure anyways.

If anyone else had said that to Aria I may have conceded, but it had to be Alison Fucking Dilaurentis, Queen of Selfish Bitch Land. 

That last thing I wanna say is that I am HEAVILY disappointed in Spencer, Hanna, and Emily. Mona’s probably one of the few characters with an actual clinical mental disorder diagnosis. Their past with her alone should be enough for them not to trust a word that comes out of her mouth. When Spencer asks for proof and Mona plays a damn recording I was SURPRISED that THAT’S all they needed to believe it was Aria. Aria should have been given the benefit of the doubt, and given a chance to explain. Instead, Mona turned them on Aria and I believe Mona’s done this to forcefully pull the girls apart. I think Mona’s the one who planted the phone in the Brew for Aria, and she’s been the one talking Aria that whole last episode, not A.D. A.D.’s work with Aria ended with the puzzle piece. This was all Mona. 

Mona’s the one who who provided evidence to the police to give Aria an alibi on the night of Charlotte’s murder. After all, we all know Mona is tech savvy, she can do anything. She wanted to drive Aria away and seclude her so that at some point, Aria would lead her to A.D. I think Mona too was blackmailed by A.D. But given her illness, she just couldn’t stand the idea of someone not only stealing the game from her but actually controlling her to do their bidding (Mona’s the body used to create avatAria.)

When the liars froze Aria out, they chose who was going to lose. That’s what the endgame of this whole episode was. To drive one girl apart enough for them to not even consider looping her in on this. And they succeeded, by freezing aria out, the girls chose Aria to be the one to take the blame. And even if Mona did send an alibi to the police, it can be easily refuted. 

What I’m trying to say is shame on them for trusting Mona Vanderwaal. 

This is been a ranting PSA. Please, feel free to send me all the hate and attacking anonymous messages your heart desires, because I’ll delete them all anyways :)