#IF IM NOT BACK AGAIN THIS TIME TOMORROW
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WEST VIRGINAAAAAAAA
MOUNTAIN MAMAAAAAAA
TAKE ME HOOOOOOMMMMMEEE
COUNTRY ROOOOOOOOOAADS
isn't this the song from that one Studio Ghibli film?
#waltzing along#glad you've found a new song pooks!#however#MAMAAAAAAA#OOOOOHHHH#DIDNT MEAN TO MALE YOU CRY#IF IM NOT BACK AGAIN THIS TIME TOMORROW#sorry vee
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ignore this ig
leonardo's always in control 🎶
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so glad they did my boy well in mm. hope he stays away from windows!
#is this the real life#is this just fantasy#caught in a landslide#no escape from reality#open your eyes#look to the skies and see#I'm just a poor boy#i need no sympathy#because im easy come#easy go#little high#little low#any way the wind blows#doesn't really matter to me#to me#just killed a man#put a gun against his head#pulled my trigger now he's dead#mama#mama‚#life had just begun#but now I've gone and thrown it all away#MAMAAAAAAAA#OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO#DIDN'T MEAN TO MAKE YOU CRY#IF IM NOT BACK AGAIN THIS TIME TOMORROW#Carry on‚ carry on#as if nothing really matters#Too late#my time has come
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#amuro ray#char aznable#charmuro#chars counterattack#my art#im going back to work tomorrow and coping by drawing and listening to beyond the time over and over again 👍
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Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~
(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)
#ootd#jfashion#fashion#fantasy fashion#mori kei#....like... adjacent... lol#no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character#finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited#the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it#im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media#enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the#outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on#Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort#of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like#'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc#The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well#I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere#somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over#tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days#I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol#But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent#been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years#but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you#find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter#where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it
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Im so extremely excited to witness Aabria's dmed space world for wbn but oh my god I'm going to miss Ame, Suvi and Eursulon so much. I hope it's not going to be 2 years before we get to see my www trio again
#my dream would be like. half a year straight of the new campaign and then do a couple arcs of umora and then back to the new campaign again#and back and forth and back and forth till we introduce a third long campaign dned by either lou or erika#im sure however they split the time between the campaigns itll work out i just hate not knowing lol#ARC 4 TOMORROW THO OMGGGGGG#txt#mine#worlds beyond number#the wizard the witch and the wild one
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an afternoon by the black lake🫶🫶🫶
#here is the fluff after my angst drawing of yesterdat😙💓😙💓#maybe you recognize some of these this is just a series of cute fast sketches of these two sweeties#I just like thinking about them spending time together🥹#I keep passing out all day and then waking up to scribble a bit and then passing out again#so sorry these are messy#but I still enjoy them🫶🫶#(ofc I do…I’m Eloise’s number one fan💓💓💓)#sorry I’ve been bad at responding to messages lately hopefully tomorrow I can get back to them🫶🫶🫶#im just so😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#hogwarts legacy oc#hogwarts legacy mc#eloise babbit#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian sallow fanart#I also want to draw/write a SUPER CUTE SCENE#that will probably not happen in my fic but be part of their sweet AU#well I don’t want to spoil it but these illustrations are part of my au🥹🫶#oh also in this au they’ve been friends for a few years but the second picture#is the moment Sebastian looks at her and is like😳😳 omg…I’m in love with her…#(it’s a sweet friends to lovers slow burn🥰🥰)
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i try to get away from the sims 4 but shes like a toxic ex who i yearn to make love to one last time
#me: i HATE this game its so stupid and i HATE EA im not playing this stupid shit anymore#me 2 years later: baby i dont care that you did me wrong....i want to create a sim....just one more time....#spacie spoinks#i NEED a better game than the sims to come out (that can be modded). can god even hear me from down here#i want a game like the sims where i can make FURRIES and OTHER WORLDLY CREATURES as well as humans#AND THE GAME SHOULD HAVE A CARTOONY ARTSTYLE#WHAT DO I HAFTA DO?!?!?! MAKE IT MYSELF?!?!?!#I DONT...I DONT WANT TO............NO THANKS!!!#the furries in the sims are so ugly oml 😭#can we have good things just for once#some people can make such good sims characters. but it takes hours and I DONNNNTT WANNA BE DOING ALLAT#anyway i distracted myself from my essay again its due tomorrow let me get back to work
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tablet died right when i finished that wanda doodle but i still wanna doodle what if i ended it all
#snap chats#'snap thats a bit much dont you think' I KNOW KJARLKFJAR#whatever ill play rivals then ... its fine .... im ok .... i just wanted to draw tonight WHATEVER#i am once again having that 'problem' where Now That I Have Time i want to draw so many things#its so nice being excited to draw and not worrying about stuff i have to draw.... so cool i should have breaks more often vjALKJAKJ#I Want To Draw So Many Things OK PLAN OF ATTACK FOR RN#dont look if you dont want spoilers for what im gonna post in the coming days ..... or.. be disappointed when i dont jvlKAJLK#theyre vague as hell wtf am i on. i never reveal the plots for my drawins...... most of the time... 'plot' such a strong word girl shut up#theyre all comics because i can only draw comics ig idfk i hate myself. but i love cherik ... and thats what theyre all about. ofc.#i already started sketching one so maybe ill finisht aht tomorrow and theeene the other comic i have in mind shoudl Also be short#prob like. a page or two.. if i dont get extra with it..#and then Last One which'll prob take me back into my semester starting that one.....#i keep thinking it'll be a Big Grand Thing and maybe the nsft version but safe for tumblr ...#maybe like a page or two. three maybe.... or four.. idk we'll see#OR DONT HAHAHAHA i should be shot. ok BYYYYEEE im gonna go get shot <- playing marvel rivals
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LOOK WHO’S GETTING OUT OF THE CAVE TO WATCH GOOD OMENS 2
#things been so depressy lately ill just sneak out from life now to watch my happy show#i'll dedicate these 2 days to watch wml#FINALLYYYYYY#I'll be free from spoilers tomorrow ig i'll be back here again#txt#CAN I GET A WHOO MFS#THE TIME HAS COME#AAAAAAAAAA IM BACC I FINALLY HAVE TIME TO WATCH IM SO EXCITEDDDDDDD
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i was gonna go for a swim but maybe not right now
#haiz goes outside#i went for a swim the other day and the water was sooooo nice#besides ive got plenty of stuff to do#i live in a tiny furnished garage house that's rented out as an airbnb over the summer#so i basically put all of my stuff in boxes and then move back in before school starts#UNFORTUNATELY there was a misunderstanding about when my school starts again (bc they moved it up) so my house was occupied when i got back#and in a bro move the house owner just let me live in his fancy house while he stayed with his partner#which was honestly really nice and chill#EXCEPT i meant to use that time to Move Back In before school and i didn't get to do that#ive got my lil house back now but i also have. school tomorrow#so yeah i was gonna have some lake time but that's ok. lake ain't going anywhere#im just vibing listening to thunderstorm + distant karaoke
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the bad: i have been raised without much warmth from my parents in childhood, but also pressured to conform to familial authority, doubt myself always, and value familial connections above all else (<- failed at this, and feel guilt about it.)
but also in experiencing this i have been so isolated from the entire rest of the world and others, that it will be nearly impossible to create my own "family" -> find safety and comfort in anybody else once my family is Gone. despite dis i find it really difficult to break away from the familiar, disobey and disappoint, because, well, why are my wishes more important than anybody else's. why would I cause upset and distress in anybody, and exert so much effort into my doubt filled half decisions, for my meaningless little Wishes. being away would also mean less time with these people who I'll never see again once they're gone. being raised this way is definitely paying off for those who did so.
the good: yaaaay adjacent inspiration for writing talon lore
#talkys#my dad scaring me but also giving me no advice on what to do instead only saying if i do this it will be the wrong choice leading#to more wrong choices well yep you got me i am scared. i am inept. i fear regret and punishment for wrong decisions.#i struggle to make decisions because i cant go back on them.#''ill never have savings again'' and ''you cant value friends over family they'll abandon you''#and ''living here is only a problem for you because you dont communicate. there is a way to work things out''#i wish i could work it out and stay i dont know why i cant work it out ! and what do i want#to leave so badly for... to continue to never have stable housing#never have savings again? be alone and in danger?#to be able to wear whatever i want and...buy things? really? that doesnt seem very worth it#nothing seems very worth it#im miserable here but maybe i'd be more miserable away...it is true#well at least the chances to leave are very slim. and will continue to get slimmer the more time passes.#but maybe its fine i dont want to ruin my life or be even more of a burden or reason for distress in someone else's#moving out wouldnt fix anything. wherever you go there you are.#my friend said i have to be a little selfish (positive) to push myself to leave. bt i dont want to be selfish. im ashamed of that as a trai#delete later#even now i feel immense guilt and stress when my dad does things that hurt or bother me bc i know ill miss him when he's gone.#(and ill have nobody after all of that. due to the being kept in a cage)#that sucks. why does everyone else always win. why am i always the weakest pliable one. i wish i had no emotions#my surgery is the only decision in my life ive been 100% sure on for years#and even then my parent's words had me crying and rapidly changing emotions daily until the day came#im not strong enough or sure enough about anything else to withstand More of that#<- and i know that tomorrow im gonna be like actually you know what who cares lets try to leave#and the next day ill be resigned to staying here forever#and the next day ill be like actually you know what who cares l
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Pedri: Gavi is a perfect cinnamon roll who’s never done anything wrong in his entire life!
Robert: Never done anything wrong?! He set a city block on FIRE!
#sorry about the hiatus again lol (small vent at the end of the tags because i need to scream into the void)#source: perchance generator#incorrect football quotes#incorrect soccer quotes#incorrrect quotes#barça#barca#barcelona#fc barcelona#fc barça#fc barca#fcb#pedri#pedri gonzalez#pedro gonzález lópez#gavi#pablo gavi#pablo gavira#gavi/pedri#pedri/gavi#robert lewandowski#lewandowski#vent time! bro high school fucking sucks#two weeks in and im so stressed i got sick#failed two of my ap stats quizzes because he doesnt fucking teach and he didnt like my explanations even though they were right#ive already had 4 tests and an essay and ive got part two of my stats test tomorrow#i just really want a break man#anyway ill try to post more quotes now that ive kind of gotten back into the groove of things
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.,
#idiot#im trying ti draw it out but it feels stupid#i feel really stupid#and gross#and weird#and dumb#sorry ill be back to normal in a minute or tomorrow morning and we can do it over again#our lil routine#where i pretend this didnt happen and you play along until the next time
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i desperately want to write something cathartic and fluffy and gentle but i don't think i can handle it flopping and it almost certainly will
#rox rambles#it would also involve having an idea#which i do not have#i just keep writing the same thing over and over again#and i KNOW the notes dont matter#and i appreciate every kind word i get#but it gets to me occasionally#no one is actually waiting for me to write anything#i could stop writing now and no one would care#99% of the time i love my writing just being me screaming into the void#but sometimes i just want the void to scream back ya know?#ugh maybe im just lonely and depressed#also i fucked up my back and gave myself blisters and i have a concert tomorrow night#um if you actually read all this have a cookie
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We're 20 days into this year and I'm already so fucking over it
#me#that ancient orange wannabe hitler rapist is president again#and i found out someone close to me has dementia and by the time i get to see her even if i do get to see her she probably wont remember me#so im going to drink about it tonight and choose a healthier coping mechanism tomorrow#its like as soon as i feel like im starting to remember how to breathe again#someone shoves my head back under the water
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made the mistake of reading through the political discussions on my big family groupchat that I usually keep muted. you must never do such a thing.
#like i knew that a lot of them are conservatives or republicans or whatever but man. even the ones who lean left are still well. mormon.#ive been really back and forth on whether or not i should come out to them but tbh. i have started to lean more toward Not.#when i came out as a nonbinary lesbian they all collectively smiled and nodded and then swept it under the rug never to be seen again#and i let them do it bc i was too afraid to try and stand up for myself. and i was conditioned not to also.#but me being trans is a lot harder to ignore. both bc im fucking tired of being treated like a rug and bc i hope to get a legal name change#and surgery and all that good shit.#but i really dont know how to go about doing all that without having to come out Somehow.#i guess i could always just. cut contact or something. but idk im reluctant to do that bc i still rely on my dad for money/insurance/etc#i dunno.#i wouldnt want to cut off my siblings but i dont know if i want to come out to them either.#idk.#im just fucking scared man. like i knew that for the most part my familys politics suck donkey nuts#but it was just really insane reading thru the chat bc even the ones who i had always thought were Safer are. well. not.#theres only 2 people in my family i fully trust and would actually love to come out to and one of them is my gay uncle (<3)#and the other is my aunt who is the ONLY. other person in my ENTIRE extended family. who has left the church.#i barely see her too bc for obvious reasons she dont hang around much. lmao#but idk. im rambling and melancholic its 1130 pm#my problem here is that there are members of my family i do want to come out to#but thatll very quickly lead to Everyone knowing. and i know im not ready for that.#hrhrggh.#maybe ill come out to my brother next time we talk. as a sort of test run.#im already a lot braver than i used to be and hopefully maybe someday ill be brave enough to come out#and then immediately fuck off into the sunset with my friends <3#sigh.#if im still wanting to come out to my brother by tomorrow when im of sound mind then i think i will.#we'll see how i feel after i sleep. lmao.#winter speaks#personal#we're entering Introspective Hours here at scattered winter dot com
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