#IF ANYONE SEES GOOD FICS ABOUT THIS CONFLICT... PLS.... I NEED....

[coffeebanana]

*screams incoherently about arcane*

[necrotic-nephilim]

What are your opinions on Casstim?

i LOVE CassTim. i've actually written a CassTim fic that's mostly just fluff and smut, but i have a lot of ideas/thoughts about them that play with the more complicated aspects of them.

i'm of the opinion that Tim and Cass were a potential romance that DC left the door open for before Tim got adopted by Bruce. (and tbh, even after he got adopted there were certain interactions in Red Robin (2009) that felt romantically implied) a lot of their interactions have implied feelings on both sides so of all Batcest ships, i think this one has a *lot* of genuine canon backing despite it being one of the most underrated ships of the fandom.

the dynamic between Cass and Tim is really interesting to me because Tim doesn't want to be Batman in any capacity and thinks that goal is actually incredibly unhealthy and unachievable, whereas to Cass it's the thing she strives for the most and if anything she wants to be even more than that. (Batgirl (2000) #59 actually has a really interesting discussion about that and that whole post-War Games arc is fun for understanding how Tim and Cass feel about each other) so a lot of their interactions clash because of that and they can't always see eye to eye on what vigilante justice and Batman's vision should look like. their relationship with each other is always going to be dependant on their relationship with Bruce first, as well as the Batman mantle as a whole. so for them to love each other (which, they do without a doubt, romantic or not) they have to accept where they don't agree with each other.

there's such a gentleness to CassTim, i think? not because i think Cass (or Tim tbh) is gentle, but i think for the exact opposite reason. there is this fullness and drivenness in the way she loves and her undying devotion to them. she would do anything to protect her loved ones. and when you combine that with Tim, who's pretty self-sacrificial at his worst, you have some interesting conflict because they're both too-willing to die for the other. their lives are defined by violence, *especially* Cass', so for her to finally let herself be loved and protected by someone else as much as she loves others is something that simply makes me feral.

they've both been trained by Shiva, which i don't think gets explored enough because it's fun for exploring the way they fight and think in a fight being potentially similar. Cass is *far* smarter than anyone gives her credit for being, and has detective skills on par with Tim, in my opinion. they balance each other out in a lot of ways. they're two people who have *chosen* this fight more than a lot of the rest of the Batfamily. being Batgirl is so important to Cass and it's something she chose because of her desperate want to be good. and Tim chose to be Robin because he knew Gotham and Bruce needed that. while they don't always agree on it, i would argue Cass and Tim understand the nuances of the Batman mantle and what it represents deeper than almost anyone else. because of that i'm particularly interested in a future CassTim, where Cass becomes Batman and Tim is in a weird limbo where he wants to stop being a vigilante but can't seem to quite let go of the life and how they end up meeting in the middle of that. i think it could be really fun with a lot of complicated arguments between them that end in a slow burn romance.

idk man this is baseless rambling, but tldr i love them so dearly and there's so much that can be explored between them. also, i think TimKonCass should be a thing. i like KonCass more than most people do (why do y'all hate this ship it's so good pls hear me out-) and i think as a complicated weird throuple they'd be fun.

[ssawboness]

🥩 STOOP KID // SSAWBONESS 🥩

💾 he/him, wasian jew, trans guy. autism + bpd, may entirely disappear from socmed for extended periods of time. i don't read dnis.

🖇 i enjoy fiction for what it is: fiction. it is not my responsibility for what happens with it, and not only am i able to healthily separate it from real situations but i do not condone ANYTHING that happens in dark fiction irl. this being said, i will most likely be reblogging 'dodgy' content or anything that may ick out the average english fandom-goer (guro, 'problematic pairings', etc). my account is fub free (free to follow/unfollow/block) at your discretion. customize your online experience as you see fit. i am not responsible for your behavior nor do i enjoy conflict any more than the next guy does.

⛓ current active fandom(s)/interests: SAW FRANCHISE, resident evil, homestuck, tf2, criminal behavior and analysis, psychology, character analysis. i love spyscout so fuckingnmuch pleaaaseeeeeuu ee. i enjoy scout ships a normal amount please send me good fics/art

⚙️ artist, rusty animator, writer, and aspiring psychologist. talk to me about psychology and communism.

⚔️ most of my other fandom-centric socials are ssawboness, zorndog, or some variation of those. my commission information can be found here.

⏱ my pms are always open. mutuals can dm me for my discord if we're close-ish. i also offer beta reading to anyone who wants a second opinion on anything

TAG GUIDE:

#stoop.txt - original-ish posts or quote reblogs. #stoop asks is self-explanatory.

#stoop faves - posts that I circle back to every now and then

#team bastille / #stoop ocs - team bastille is an original blu team that i wrote, and #stoop ocs is a more umbrella termed way of referring to any ocs that i post here; bastille is directly mentioned due to how significant it is to my current interests

#others art - other people's artwork.

i do not have a dni list because those are stupid and embarrassing and i will personally judge you with my holy sword if need be. antis and anyone who supports censorship get the fuck off my blog!!!!. you're still proship if you don't harass people over fiction btw. i love mspec gays and lesbians mwah mwah mwah

i don't trigger warn, and i have anything i need tagged muted. however, if you post about jjba AT ALL or are a jojo-centric blog, do not follow me unless i follow first. do not interact with my work. i will block you on sight. this is for my safety, and i am not comfortable elaborating as to why.

anything else should be self explanatory. please dm me or send me asks i promise i don't bite please please please pl

[morifinwes]

wangxian fic rec list!

aka in which i read fics, write some recs down for aamna and share them!! they're all wangxian fics and uhh @yibobibo i hope you'll like them!!

modern

wolf devours playboy bunny by @greenteafiend (5K, werewolf!lwj, getting together, idk if anyone needs to know that but there's nudity just not uhh explicit)

Lan Zhan has wanted Wei Ying as long as he has known him, and the worst part is that he thinks Wei Ying could want him back.

Too bad he could never in good conscience let himself go there—Wei Ying has a debilitating fear of all things canine, and once a month, Lan Zhan is the exact, precise thing that Wei Ying’s nightmares are made of.

Aka, Lan Zhan is a werewolf.

between the lines by @jywait (19K gaming au!!!, i'm always down for a good gaming au, lwj is the best aksks he's such a good boy)

☆yilingpatriarch☆: pls...give me some face, help me fight these monsters...I'm gonna die

Bluetooth: no.

"You have died." The screen said, and Wei Wuxian threw his hands up in frustration.

resonant frequencies by chinxe (15K, college au, fake dating au, tw mention of cheating but it's brief and no one was cheated on i promise)

In which Wei Wuxian decides that the best way to deal with being in love with Lan Wangji is to pretend to date him for three weeks.

It goes about as well as can be expected.

drift compatible by windoworwhatever (5K, poetry, fluff, drunkji, getting together, college au)

"It was just a fact of life. The sky was blue, university stipends for graduate students working in TA positions barely covered rent, bisexuals cuffed their jeans, Lan Wangji had a massive crush on Wei Wuxian, and spent his time pining and writing research papers about gay subtexts in ancient poetry."

OR

Lan Wangji is in love with Wei Wuxian, and everybody knows, except Wei Wuxian.

the bunny next door by detailsinthefabric (43K, this is mostly fluff and very light angst, and they were neighbors!!!, rabbits!!, aka wangxian's bunny children, this is... so cute i just have to rec it)

Lan Wangji did not know what he was doing. He did not know what he was going to say. He was frozen in place, puzzling over the situation. Maybe he had made the man uncomfortable, which is why he wanted to leave? But his tone had still been so friendly—maybe…

“Would…” he paused, swallowed, forced the last words to come out of his suddenly parched mouth, “would you let me pet him?”

-------------------------------------

Lan Wangji, who doesn't know how to socialize and whose icy demeanor scares everyone away, lets down all his defenses when he meets the bunny next door...oh, and also its owner, Wei Wuxian.

leading tone by silencemostofall (32K, everyone is a music student? or something like that akskk, curse fic, tw panic attacks, tw child abuse, small scene of drunkji, wwx has low self esteem, bro this was so painful to read)

The first time you touch someone you're fated to love, you leave a mark on their skin. If they will love you in return, they'll mark you where you touched them. The deeper the color, the deeper the connection.

Wei Ying has no marks at all.

public places, private thoughts by leahelisabeth (for the love of camelot) ( 8K, cherry magic au, getting together with like... immediate upgrade to fiance status, the author is wrong i crave good wangxian cherry magic aus even tho i haven't even watched cherry magic)

Wei Wuxian had heard the story of course. It had made its rounds through his high school and followed him into his college days. He didn’t think there was any possibility it was true. Virginity was a social construct, invented by creepy old men to exercise dominance over women. The idea that a simple lack of sexual activity before the age of thirty could give one magical powers was absolutely ludicrous.

Wei Wuxian believed this until the morning of his thirtieth birthday.

AKA the Wangxian Cherry Magic AU that absolutely nobody asked for.

i'd be all right (if i could see you) by @thirtysixsavefiles (16K, this was nice, i read this at 6am but it was cute, (while writing this post i must admit i don't remember anything but 6am-me said it's good))

The younger Lan brother is something of an enigma on campus; while Lan Xichen can sometimes be seen in the company of other graduate students or conducting a seminar, Lan Wangji appears to spend all his time in class or in the library. He doesn’t drink. He doesn’t smoke. He doesn’t attend social events. He doesn’t do anything for fun, as far as Wei Wuxian can tell, and it’s driving Wei Wuxian just a little bit up the wall.

Or, Wei Wuxian convinces Lan Wangji to come to a house party, and then they're assigned to the same group project. Wei Wuxian tries his best, but he is not in possession of all the facts.

axe on leg by itszero (4K, i still don't get why wwx did that but it was nice seeing him jealous for once, jealous!wwx, lwj i love you....)

Wei Wuxian pressed his face into his pillow and screamed. He paused to take a few deep breaths, partially hindered by the pillow, and listened to the sounds of Nie Huaisang slurping his iced coffee, from his seat on Wei Wuxian's desk chair.

Having caught his breath, he resumed his screaming and did not stop at the sound of his dorm room door opening.

"What's wrong with him?" He heard his brother, Jiang Cheng, ask.

The slurping stopped. "He's an idiot."

"He's always been an idiot. Why is he bothered about it now?"

"He forced Lan Wangji to go on a date," Nie Huaisang replied, shaking the ice cubes in his drink.

"Okay and…?"

"With someone else." The slurping resumed.

Wei Wuxian, in all his glorious dumbassery, convinces his boyfriend to go on a date with someone else.

these two most powerful by @stiltonbasket (4K, amnesia, wangxian with children!!!, aksksk this was adorable, dadji!!)

When Lan Wangji went to bed last night, he was alone in a tiny guest room with nothing but the howling of the wind in the mountains and his own lonely thoughts for company.

 

But when he opened his eyes in the morning, Wei Ying was asleep beside him.

 

(In which Lan Wangji loses twenty years' worth of memories after a night-hunt gone wrong, and his life as a doting father and husband continues without a hitch somehow.)

good things come to those who wait [but i ain't in a patient phase] by @cerlunas (4K, getting together, pining lwj)

Lan Wangji can't take it anymore.

 

“I love you”, he says, and god, it feels terrifying. “I’ve been in love with you for a long time.”

“Lan Zhan…” Wei Wuxian starts, but Lan Wangji doesn’t want to hear it.

He grabs his cup and drinks everything. He doesn’t know what face Wei Wuxian is making at him right now, and it’s okay. 

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian repeats louder, but it’s too late. He is already falling asleep.

Or, even after 13 years, Lan Wangji is still in love with his best friend. Maybe it's time to open up.

wei ying, will you marry m- oh my god he swallowed the ring! by selene210 (2K, marriage proposals, crack, marriage proposals but.. they go wrong)

“A ring?”

And indeed it was. The ring Lan Wangji was going to propose to Wei Ying with. That the man had now choked on.

“You swallowed it.”

“It was in my soufflé! Why did you put a ring in my soufflé Lan Zhan- oh. oh”

of glittery valentine's cards by @soft-fics (3K, valentine's day, this was adorable aksk, a-yuan best boy!!)

Lan Zhan didn't want to know what his best friend had planned for Valentine's Day; his heart would simply not be able to handle it. When his son tells him that he made Wei Ying a Valentine's Day card, though, Lan Zhan decided to bring it over anyway.

of coffee and white tea by @soft-fics (9K, fluff, lwj doesn't like coffee, wwx buys him coffee, then they switch drinks, again and again and again, the staff ships it lmao, tbh jc shouldn't have done that like wtf)

For the fourth time this week a stranger orders him a cup of coffee. Lan Wangji wonders how exactly to tell this man to stop ordering him coffee he doesn't even like. Turns out, buying the other white tea and switching drinks is not the best way to go about it

canon setting

on the importance of restraint (or lack thereof) by nixthothou (4K, in which sizhui snaps, i love that boy, no like seriously he's the best boy)

Lan Sizhui does not usually find himself in the company of Sect Leader Jiang.

Suffice to say, Lan Sizhui's feelings toward him are conflicted.

lan wangji is wei wuxian's baby by lilycs (3K, i was craving fluff while reading this, lwj my beloved, drunk!lwj)

Lan Wangji gets drunk from barely a cup of alcohol, becoming a whiny baby and asking his husband for cuddles.

one of our own by glitteringmoonlight (8K, wei wuxian & lan sect, 5+1 things, in which they learn to love him, they're all part of the wwx protection squad lead by lwj, wangxian isn't the focus but !!! THIS)

Times change, but some people remain the same.

The Lans are nothing, if not aware of this.

For one of their own, they will stand against the world.

Or, 5 times the Lans defended Wei Wuxian, and the 1 time he was there to see it happen.

so why not crack your skull when the mind swells by @greenteafiend (13K, love curse, post cql canon, curses, getting together, fluff, so much fluff, lwj tries to talk about his emotions!, lwj pov)

Lan Wangji detects the curse trying to curl through his heart meridians like smoke. A love curse, then. It must have been cast remotely somehow to have found him in his bed in Cloud Recesses. No matter. Lan Wangji crushes it easily, enveloping it in his spiritual energy, and then squeezing. Curse averted, Lan Wangji closes his eyes and goes back to sleep. He thinks no more of it.

Two days later, Wei Wuxian arrives in Cloud Recesses.

Or, Wei Wuxian is cursed to feel terrible pain when he and Lan Wangji aren’t touching.

i started from the bottom / now i'm rich by x_los (57K, time travel, fix it, jealous lwj, crack treated serious, god this is so good tho, wwx/wrh & wwx/jgs but like as a joke and it doesn't really happen, but it has its purpose!!)

“First, you get the money. Then you get the power, respect - hos come last.”

 

Wen Qing traps Wei Wuxian in the Demon Slaughtering Cave, but Wei Wuxian isn’t interested in being the beneficiary of the Wen Remnants’ noble sacrifice. His efforts to free himself accidentally send him back to the beginning of the Sunshot Campaign. Coreless but armed with demonic cultivation, knowledge of the future and his wits, Wei Wuxian takes advantage of this opportunity to come out on top of both the war and its aftermath—before either has a chance to happen—by marrying and swiftly burying the cultivation world’s worst men.

Lan Wangji is confused, hurt, and uncomfortably aroused by Wei Wuxian’s improbably elaborate series of Sect-themed bridal negligees.

lead me on through by mrsronweasley (55K, they're in love your honor, arranged marriage but they don't know to whom, basically wwx & lwj want to practice kissing which then goes beyond kissing but not the whole way y'know, lxc the best wingman tho)

"Who do you think your betrothed is?" Wei Wuxian asks, sprawling out in front of Lan Zhan and enjoying the prim thinning of his lips at the question. He shouldn't be sprawling—they're in the library, for one, and Lan Zhan is studying, for another—but he can't help himself. Wei Wuxian is a sprawler.

"I do not believe this to be of importance," Lan Zhan responds, without turning his gaze away from his book.

"What!" Wei Wuxian sits up. "How can you say that? Of course it's important! This is the person you'll be with for the rest of your life, Lan Zhan."

[aizawabby]

LILY (m)

Pairing: Yakuza!Tamaki Amajiki x florist! Reader

Plot: your flowers were the one thing you loved the most in your life... well it’s in the top ten so you bet your ass that you would scream at anyone who would dare to ruin and it didn’t matter if the person was the biggest mobster around.

Genre: mafia au, florist au , NSFW 18+

word count: 6k

Warnings: slight sub/dom play, soft dom Tamaki, explicit smut, oral(f), vaginal penetration, creampies, mirror sex, choking, no protection (wrap it before you tap it), light spanking, mentions of sucking dick, multiple orgasms, praising ish, fat cock Tamaki, dirty talk, slight mention of blood (I was listening to auralescent while writing the smut)

Disclaimer: this is my first time writing explicit smut so pls if I didn’t any mistakes or need to improve any where pls let me know! Also the art work above is not mine nor do I own any of the bnha/mha characters.

A/n: hello~ this is my first fic in this blog, I really hope you guys like!! I’ve been planning it since a month and got way to lazy to complete it :(

ko-fi

The hot rays of sun burn your skin as you walk out of your flower shop for the 10th time today to display your flowers letting them get sunlight. Regretting not putting on sunscreen before leaving home, you whipped the sweat off your face and smiled at the aesthetic you created in front of your flower shop.

It truly was beautiful.

Satisfied with your work you were ready to go back into the air conditioned store. As you neared the glass door, a loud thud noise that came from the background making you flinch. Praying as you turned around you hoped that whatever caused that thud had nothing to do with your flowers and it was just the neighbors cat, Ginger, who had once again jumped over the garbage bin and toppled it over.

You sighed in relief when you saw that your flowers were still intact. Just when you were about to go back a man with a white cloak tripped over your vases not paying attention while running ruining all your hard work.

The man laying on the ground looked at your angry face and seemed like he was about to cry, but you didn’t care right now. You were furious, all your hard work has gone to waste just because one person didn’t pay attention to where he was going.

Getting off the ground he noticed how you were about to start to scream at him, quickly got up and started apologizing.

“Look here sir, apologizing isn't going to do shit for my flowers nor is it going to clean up this mess so I suggest you t-” just as you were about to finish your sentence you felt him grip your wrist and pull you into your store.

‘What the hell’ you thought as you looked up at your captive, he pushed you on to a corner wall where no one could see you, his one hand on your mouth keeping you from making any noise while the other was near your head trapping you from the outside world.

If you weren’t being kidnapped in your own store you would’ve been very much aroused by the situation.

Having let your only staff member go on their lunch break, leaing you alone with your captor was not helping your situation either. Even if you scream for help no one would come to your rescue.

Your captor must have felt your gaze as he looked your way and then looked away once again a blush creeping on his cheeks.

What the hell? Why is he blushing

You continued to study his features so that you will be able to memories them in case he decides to do something, only if you were left alive.

damn he’s cute

You watched him as he kept shifting his gaze from you and the window, curious to what he was eyeing, you peered your eyes out the window to see some pro-hero, whose name you couldn't remember, along with some police officers gathered together holding a piece of paper which seemed like a sketch, showing it to civilians that walked past them.

Since your hearing quirk wasn't going to help you get free you thought it might be useful to hear what the heroes were saying.

“Have you seen this man?” one of them asked “please if you do call the police station right away”. The hero held out a picture. It was your capture.

Holy shit

You let out a quiet gasp at the information discovered, your capture hearing the sudden noise turned towards you once again, his gaze unreadable.

He masked his emotions so you wouldn't be able to tell how nervous he was staying within such close proximity with you. Something he learned pretty early, since in his line of work showing any type of emotions was a weakness.

The sweet smell of your perfume that was helping calm his nerves, was making him lose focus on the tasks at hand. Finding an opening to escape without the pros seeing him.

God how did he want to bury his head is the crook of your neck a- his train of thoughts broke as he felt you try to wiggle out of his grasp.

He glared at you, eyes dark and menacing seeding chills to your spine, he was about to lean closer when the pro-hero left their post and started walking towards their new location.

‘That was close’, he thought

He freed your mouth and placed it on the hand on the other side of your head trapping you. “W-who are you?” you managed to say, he looked you in the eye “Suneater,”.

Thank god for the wall that was supporting you because you were sure that you would've fell on the floor because how much your knees had been wobbling out of fear and being so close with this very handsome man who happens to be the biggest mafia leader of Tokyo.

You blankly stared at him as the headlines from several news articles popped in your head about the man holding you captive, opening your mouth to say-no to beg for your life, this is definitely not the way you imagined yourself dying.

“I” you breathe out watching as the man leaves from his spot, freeing you.

‘is he getting some torture weapon? Is this because i screamed at him omg me and my stupid big mouth’ as your mind filled with gruesome thoughts when all of a  sudden cough broke your trans, you whipped your head to the noise almost getting whiplash from the sudden movement.

It was him.

He stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, his head hung low looking at his shoes as if they were much more interesting than you. He rubbed his palms together and was saying something under his breath. It almost seemed like he was...shy

What the hell is up with this guy?

“I… um… i am sorry for that” wide eyed and mouth agape you watched the man who once looked so frightening you nearly passed out from fear was now stumbling on his words as he apologized to you.

‘God i need to talk to my therapist after this, if i get out of this’

He lifted his head, his eyes barely noticeable as they stayed hidden due to the length of his hair. “I… I am s-s-sorry for putting you through this mess. I-it's just because, you see I didn't mean to, it's just that” he paused, he looked as if he were about to cry. What does one do in this situation? Do you go and console him for kidnapping you in your own store?

Confused, you stayed still, scanning him to look for some weapons he can use on you, eyes stopped at his trembling hands.

He’s bleeding

Once again mumbling something under his breath he continued “ you see, some people are looking for me, a-and because of some… things, that's why i ended up bumping into you, i-i didn't mean to knock down your flowers, you see i was just in such a hurry and needed a place to hide that i brought you here” he explained his situation.

He looked back at you waiting for you to respond,

“Are you gonna kill me?” he looked at you even more panicked than before almost like he was disgusted at the sheer thought “oh no no no no” he frantically moved his arms telling you no.

“Good, because i know how to fight” you lied, but seeing how scared he is you began to question whether this man actually was the notorious yakuza you heard about on the news.

Maybe he was the weak twin no one knew about

Your legs finally regained their strength and you leaned off the wall, and walked past Suneater as you disappeared in one of the rooms in the back of your shop.

“Are you coming?” your head peered from the room as you waved your hand at him to come.

‘What are you doing?!? Inviting a yakuza in your safe place’ you thought, while one part of your mind told you to run, the other told you to stay you were conflicted.

Your thoughts were interrupted when you heard Suneater enter the room, without turning around, you pointed at the chair, “sit” said a little more sternly than you wanted to. Confused at the sudden change in your demeanor, he raised an eyebrow at you, why did you want him here with you when you knew his truth. Anyone with the slightest of common sense would call the police right now, yet you stayed calm.

“Look” you turned around, tiered “ if your not gonna kill me then let me help you with your injury”

‘injury? What injury?’

He looked down at his hand feeling a sting. There was a deep cut, most likely from when he knocked over your flowers ‘oh’ his palm was covered in blood.

He sat down at the designated seat waiting for you, closing his eyes letting the sweet and earthy smell of the flowers fill his nostrils, calming his senses.

                                *     *      *

“Hey did you even listen to a word I said?” Tamaki lifted his head from his palm, “hmm?”. The spiky red head grunted, rubbing his hands on his face tired of his boss being so distracted.

“What’s gotten into you, man?” he questioned, Tamaki innocently looked at him as if he did nothing.

Truth was he was bored, he knew the plan they had went over it a millions of times heck he was the one who made it in the first place.

“Nothing Kirishima, I heard you, ” he said, moving his gaze to where he was looking before, Kirishima followed the direction in which he was looking and spotted you.

You were out in the scorching sun, moving huge pots of flowers around the front of your store.

Grinning he looked back at his superior “why are you looking at me like that” Tamaki said, not liking the way Kirishima smiled at him, he knew something.

“You got a crush don’t ya boss?” Kirishima proceeded to repeatedly poke his bosses arm, annoying him.

“fuck of” Tamaki flustered, turned around avoiding Krishima’s graze, maybe he did have a small crush.

“hey boss” Kirishima scooted his chair closer to Tamaki “after our mission why don’t ya go get her number hmm? Who knows you might even get a date” he said grabbing his bosses shoulder and shaking it as he told him to man up.

                                 *     *      *

He broke out of thoughts feeling the pads of your fingers linger over his palm.

“Is this okay?” you kneeled in front of him, placing the safety kit on your lap concentrating on the task at hand.

“Y-yeah” you looked up, worrying that you might have hurt him accidentally, instead of seeing him wince in pain you were faced with a blushing yakuza.

Not knowing how to react you quickly lower your gaze and continue working on the task at hand.

“You're good at this,” he was the first to speak, breaking the silence.

“Huh, oh yeah i guess,” you let out a nervous laugh, “I used to volunteer as a nurse in hospitals back when I was in college, at one point in my life i wanted to become a doctor or nurse, to help people like pro-heroes did but then i lost interest in the subject and started to like other things so i opened up a flower shop,” you bit your lip realizing you might have over shared, “sorry that was to much wasn't it?” he smiled.

Shaking his head no, he looked at you warmly making you feel weird inside. As the two of you continued to talk, you learned more about him, nothing too personal but enough to make you feel like maybe just maybe you were starting to become friends.

“Alright all done, Tamaki” giving him a bright smile as you got up. He looked at his bandaged hand, smiling “Thank you, Y/n”. He got up from his seat, bidding you goodbye after apologizing for the inconvenience he caused, and walked towards the front door.

“Wait Tamaki!!!” you ran towards the front door hoping he hadn't left already, opening the door you called out for him once again, he stops and turns to look at you, confused as to why you called him.

“Y/n? What happened, are you okay?” he waited for you to catch your breath “yeah i'm fine i just,, i wanted to give you something” the tips of your ear started to burn as you felt a blush creep in, you handed him a purple lily.

Dumbstruck at the present he stayed quiet, smiling shyly as he reached for the purple flower, his fingers grazing you for a second, blushing he thanked you for the gift “ but why?” he asked, finally gaining the confidence to look at you.

You were smiling softly, a light blush spread on your cheeks “it reminded me of you,” you looked at him “and it's pretty like you” you said mentally cursing at yourself for voicing your inner thoughts, and for blushing harder.

Before the tomato looking man could say anything else, you ran back into your shop waving him goodbye.

                                  *     *      *  

Six months ago today, you were ‘kidnapped’ by the notorious Suneater. Your life hasn’t changed much since, you still wake up everyday at 8 am, you still drink the same type of coffee, and you still come back home at 8 pm.

But there was one thing that was significantly different, everyday at noon Tamaki would present himself in front of your store.

At first, it started with him coming to your shop, waiting outside debating whether he was coming in or not.

You would stay in the back of your cash register, listening to him mumbling to himself “common just go say hi that’s all you can do! Common just like you did with kirishima” you giggled.

But without a word he would leave. Disappointed you waited for the next day, maybe then he’ll talk to you.

The next week, he finally came in the store, (with the push of a spiky redhead) he wandered around before picking up a single rose, and came to the cash.

Ever since that day, he started to come more often and stayed longer talking to you about everything and nothing.

Slowly, his visits at the store became more constant just like his presence in your life.

“Are you here to buy something or to see me?” you winked at him going in the store, leaving a flustered indigo haired man behind.

He followed you inside, taking a deep breath calming his racing heart.

“Do you like me?” you asked casually as you picked up boxes from the front desk. Eyes wide Tamaki looked at you and gulps nervously before speaking “I-um I...w-well actually”

‘Fuck was I that obvious?’ He mentally screams at himself.

You laugh at his panicked expression “I’m just kiddin Tama, you don’t need to worry, come on help me with these boxes” you say grabbing his hand drawing circles trying to calm him, but it didn’t. It made him even more red and made his heart beat so fast he thought it was going to come out of his chest.

And sometime along the way, you had begun to fall for him too.

                                 *     *      *

Breaking you out of your day dream you felt a strong grip on your shoulder, you grabbed the intruders hand and twisting your body as fast you could ready to attack.

You lowered your hard after seeing your crush.

“Not bad, Y/n” he showed you the bag of food he was holding “you’ve improved I’m impressed” Tamaki said pressing his hand on your lower back pushing you towards the front door of your apartment complex.

Oh yeah you had also started to take self defense lessons from Tamaki once he found out about your bluff about knowing how to fight. From that day he took it upon himself to teach you how to defend yourself in case you were abducted by another Yakuza.

“Didn’t you have a meeting today with the Kyoto group?” you opened the door to your small apartment where you guys would often hang out “how did it go” you asked taking off your shoes.

“It was alright i guess, they wanted to make a deal” he spoke calmly and went to set the table for the two of you. You hummed at his answer without further questioning him because nothing good ever comes with dealing with the Mafia.

The two of you silently enjoyed the Takoyaki brought by Tamaki.

“Can you pass me a napkin?” you observed as he manifested a tentacle thanks to his quirk and handed you a napkin.

“Hey Tama” you rested your chopstsicks on your place, resting your head on your palm looking at him as he was midway of putting an octopus ball into his mouth, he hummed in response telling you to continue.

“With your quirk you can manifest everything you eat right?” nodding he put another ball into his mouth “so can you…” you wiggled in your seat regretting what you were about to ask, but you needed an answer it was a question that kept you up during many sleepless nights.

Confused at your sudden shyness he lifted an eyebrow at you, this was very out of character for you since you were usually pretty blunt “c-can you make your semen taste like chocolate?”

Tamaki choked on his food, spitting it out looking at you with a horrified face, you scoot closer to him waiting for his answer. Unable to look at you in the eyes he raised his head looking at the ceiling rubbing his hands on his face trying to calm the rush of heat he was feeling. “Taaaammmakii” you whined, tugging on his arm like a child begging him to answer you, he looked at you opening his mouth but then closing it going beet red.

“Ohhh did you do it” you giggled as he blushed even harder and hid his face in his hands and you laughed harder.

                                 *     *      *

“what are we watching tonight?” Tamaki walked into your living dressed in gray sweatpants and a black shirt sitting on your sofa, poking you with his left foot.

It wasn’t often that you got to see Tamaki dress so casually due to his job most of the time he would wear expensive suits (which made him look very hot) but there was something about him dressing down that made your heart flutter.

It was nights like these you loved the most, nights when you do nothing but stay up all night watching movies still you passed out cuddling against Tamaki.

“hmm I don’t know” pouting as you looked through your nail polish wondering which color you should paint them next. Tamaki smiled and pointed towards the purple bottle.

“Then how about” he scanned through the list of shows and movies “this” he said finally stopping at Avatar the last air bender.

While one would expect Tamaki’s attention to be at the screen in front of him watching the show he picked out it wasn’t. He was much more interested watching you paint your nails. He watched as you stuck your tongue out while concentrating on not to make a mess.

She’s so cute

“didn’t you go for lunch with your friends today?” He asked his eyes glued to the tv, mouth slightly agape.

“oh yeah I did, it was fun” he hummed and laughed at something Soka said. “My friends kept asking me if we’re together yet” you laughed at the memory of your friends teasing to finally confess your feelings for the man.

“then why don’t we” not paying attention to what he was saying he continued to watch tv.

Wide eyed he looked at you when it finally hit him you looked back at him in shock from the sudden confession“i ..i mean if you want you haha” he panicked.

Grinning as you got up from your spot on the floor you climbed onto his lap. Tamaki’s face burned a deep shade of red as he tried his hardest to sink his head into the couch wanting it to swallow him whole.

“Hey tama look at me” you brought a hand to his cheeks caressing it softly, making him look at you as you leaned onto him giving him a kiss.

“I like you” he breathes out as you pull away from the kiss smiling at each other “will you go out with me?”.

You rest your forehead on his, catching your breath you nod “yes I will” he holds you tighter holding your body next to his never wanting to let you go.

“Can I kiss you?” he whispers, his lips brushing up against yours, you nod “i'll be mad if you didn't”

He captured your lips in a delicate kiss. The kiss slowly escalated, becoming more rough as he pushed his tongue in your mouth. His wet muscle exploring every nook of your mouth as you submit to him, soft moans erupt from your throat as he grabs your boob giving it a squeeze.

“Oh fuck” he moans grabbing your hips pressing it harder on his crotch as you continued to grind against him.

“Someone’s excited” you smirk against his neck making it, as you grab his clothed dick gasping at size. He was big.

Stopping your movements, he stared into your eyes softly, his hand coming to caresses your face “ are you okay with this if not we don’t need to go further” he reassured. Smiling, you took his hand and kissed it, “I want it Tamaki, I want you.”

He pulled your shirt over your head throwing somewhere in the room, eyes lingering on the lace white bra. His hand was quick to go back on your breast, squeezing it with such an eagerness that just made you wetter by seconds. Taking off the bra, he grabbed your left tit. Soon, your nipple was engulfed by his mouth, he eagerly sucked it letting the tip of his tongue roll around, making you release another moan as you grab his hair pulling him up attaching his lips with yours.

Tamaki’s tongue was back in you, eyes closed as he enjoyed the warm and sweetness of your mouth. He held your hips, lifting you up heading towards your bedroom.

Amajiki hovered over you, smiling softly, he leaned in sealing lips with yours; peppering your skin with his soft kisses and marking you all the way to your breast. His hand finally finding the soft flesh, he gave it a squeeze as his lips came in contact with your areola, you let a breathy moan as his tongue worked on teasing your erect nipples while his other hand massaged the other in pleasurable manner.

He lifted his head from your chest, leaving a trail of kisses all the way to your aching core. Spreading your thighs open, kissing the soft flesh slowly, he teasingly nips at your inner thigh marking you, ignoring the place you wanted him the most.

You grind your hips in the air, hoping it will get his attention, you whimper as he rubs circles on your clit over your underwear finally feeling some relief, you feel the cold air hit your wet core as he slides it off your legs.

“You’re so wet, bunny” he hummed in approval as he twirled his finger in your wetness, content that he was able to make you feel this good. “I bet you taste good too ” he murmures, his eyes darkening with lust, he props your legs into his wide shoulder.

Unable to wait any longer to taste you, he lowered his face to your folds, the feeling of his mouth on your lips, moaning as you pulled his hair telling him to continue. He moaned into you sending vibration to your core, he squeezed your thighs to signal that he understood, he ran his tongue along your dripping slit and plunged his tongue past you lips and shallowly thrusting it inside until he was lapping up your juices with fervor while you arched your back as you moaned his name “you taste so fucking good, bunny” he moaned as he grinned his hips on the mattrest revealing his arousal.

Addicted to the slight bitter but sweet taste that he continued to eat you with more force.

“Ohhhh fuck fuck fuck” your legs trembled.

He knew you were close, slowly he slipped the first finger in, your walls warm and welcoming clenched his finger as he pumped it in, adding another right after. His mouth finding your clit, sucking the sensitive bud, sending pleasure coursing through your body.

“A-amajiki don’t stop” your toes curl at the sensation of his fingers curling inside you, you breathlessly moan your mind going blank as pleasure takes over. Pulling on his hair as his mouth works on your clit while his fingers work their magic, overwhelmed by the pleasure you felt from your lower stomach tightening, “Amajiki… i'm gonna-” before you can finish your sentence you feel the third finger slid in, you roll your eyes back feeling your walls stretch “Oh god, Tamaki”

Tamaki grinds his hips harder at the sounds coming out of your lips, his rock hard cock twitch in sweatpants “fuck” he groaned into your heat fingers slicked with your juices as he worked them in and out of you and lapped your sweet juices with his tongue “I love when you say my name,”.

“T-tama” you moaned bucking your hips on his face in search of release. Only a few moments later you came hard, with his face between your thighs and into his mouth. Your vision blurred as felt Tamaki continue to eat out even after cuming so hard. “Amajiki” you tried to get out of his grasp telling him that you’re too sensitive, he didn't move. He stayed there till you felt another wave of pleaser hit and you came into his mouth.

You were panting hard, your chest rising and falling as you felt euphoria, you watched Amajiki get up from his position between your thighs, get up to kiss you, you tasted yourself on his lips moaning as you felt his boner poking your inner thigh.

He pulls away from the kiss, whining at the loss of contact eyes following him as he gets off the bed. You watch him as he takes off his sweatpants revealing his black boxers which had a wet patch at the tip of his dick, drooling at the outline of his fat cock you imagined having it in your mouth fucking your troat till you became sore.

You get on your knees and start to crawl to where Tamaki was standing, pulling his briefs down until you were met with his painfully erect cock. Licking your lips you looked at him “can i suck your dick” he grabs your chin giving you a peck on the lips “sure, but not now” he says as he backs you up on the bed, laying you down as he starts to nip at your jaw “i wanna be inside you first” he whispers in your ear.

Tamaki separates your legs with his knee, placing himself between your thighs, stroking his dick as he brushes the head of his cock your wet centre. “Amaji-ah” you feel his tip rub against your entrance, but then backing away with flushed cheeks “baby… do you have any condoms” he rubs the back of his neck. It was moments like these where you would question how this man was a mafia leader.

Wrapping your arms around his neck you pull him on top of you kissing him, “its okay im on the pill” you say kissing his face. He aligned himself with your dripping core, his length sliding against your folds and getting coated by your arousal. You shudder, hearing him grunt as he inserts his tip in, stretching you out. He then thrust his length in you, grunting as he felt your wall squeeze around him, once completely in he stayed still letting you adjust to his size, since he was on the bigger side.

You moaned, biting his shoulder as you felt him stretch out your walls, you felt full. “ oh no baby are you okay?” Tamaki cooed still inside of you as he whipped tears from your face “should we stop? Does it hurt?” It wasn't the first time that he had to pull out because he was too big during sex, as he got ready to pull out, you wrapped your legs around his waist kepping him in place “Tama i-its okay, it doesnt hurt, you’re just big” you kiss his cheeks giving him a okay to move as you grip his shoulders” as he slowly began to move.

“Fuck youre so tight baby, you feel so f-fucking good” he let out a groan thrusting even deeper in you.

“Holy shit, your pussy feels so good” he moans in your mouth, picking up the pace. Your mouth drops open and you watch his brow furrow as he slips deeper into you, and fills you up. He continues to push until he finally bottoms out, he pants out a heavy breath that he's been holding out. Your eyes flutter but you fight to keep them open, and your arms wrap around his torso to grip his back.

“oh god Amajik” you moan, hips moving to match his thrust “feels so good”

“Yeah?” he pants out, moving at a steady pace, and you nod in response.

Admiring how he looks on top you, lips pink and swollen from your kisses parted as soft moans and grunts pass them. His eyes dark, looking at you with insatiable hunger that told you that he was holding back.

“Amajiki harder” you whimper, “fuck me harder.”

He pauses for a second, studying your face to make sure he was hearing this well. His breath stuttered before he let out a shaky breath.Then his hands gripped your hips in a bruising hold and he started snapping his hips as hard as he could into yours.

Your eyes roll back at the force of his hips slapping against yours. His nails dug into your supple skin and it stung but you didn’t bother to care because the feeling of him stroking along your sensitive walls was too overwhelming.

“Fuck baby” he gruffly let’s put “you’re making me feel so good”

Clenching around his words, you feel more of your juices coating him as he fucks you harder into the mattress.

“You like it?” he pants “ is my cock making you feel good, baby”

You nod. You couldn’t speak properly, not with the way his hips seemed to increase their speed and hit you deeper with each thrust.

“Use your words, bunny” he grunts into your ear. He releases your hips in favor of gripping your thighs, pausing to shift onto his knees and have a better handle of you and angle his hips just right. “You love it don’t you? You love it when I fuck you with my cock?”

“Yes” you moan “i love it, i love your cock”

“Your close aren’t you? I can feel the way you keep clenching around my cock,”

“Oh god I’m close tama, don’t stop” you say when the thrust abruptly stops when he pulls out of you, and you whimper in shock and desperation. But he doesn’t allow you a second to question him before he’s gripping your hips and flipping you onto your stomach lifting your ass up. He spanks your ass and you squeal in surprise but it morphs into a moan when he shifts your hips to position himself behind you properly. He’s slipping inside you with ease, and you’re back where you left off.

Trailing a hand from your back, all the way to your head he gripped your hair, pulling your head back to capture lips with his.

His mouth on your neck kissing his way to your ear, nibbling on it before he continued spewing filthy phrases in your ear that had you whining in blinding pleasure.

“You're taking it so well, baby. Now be a good girl and cum on my cock” he pants in your ear.

His hand finds your engorged clit, rubbing vigorously as he snapped his hips faster. Your mouth dropped open but no sounds came out, your voice was gone as you felt the pleasure rapidly increasing and the heat in your tummy growing larger and larger until it finally exploded.

“oh tamaki” you moaned “ fuck, I’m cumming.” You called out his name breathlessly as if it was a mantra as you felt yourself come undone all over him.

Amajiki groaned, fucking you through your orgasm, chasing after his own. After a few deep thrusts he stops and gripping your hips as he feels himself shooting his release in you.

He stays inside for a while and you feel him kiss on your along your spine, whispering soft nothings. He pulls out leaving you feeling empty.

Unable to move your body, you let yourself fall into the mattress resting your head on your pillow.

“Tired” you hear tamaki leaning against the headboard of your bed. He pulls your limp body making you hover over his lap, your back against his chest “but i'm not done with you baby” he bites your shoulder, rubbing the head of his cock on your entrance lubricating it with both of your juices.

“Yeah that’s right watch yourself as I fuck you” he says starring right at you through the mirror. You watched him as he slipped himself inside you with ease.

He held your hips keeping you in place as you watched his length disappear in you with each hard thrust.

“Oh my god” your moan feeling the tip of his cock hitting your g-spot. “Are you gonna cum baby?” Amajiki grunts going faster, you nod grabbing his thighs to help you steady as you start to move your hips to match his pace as you feel your 4th orgasm approach.

“Look at you bouncing on my dick like a good little slut” he growled in your ear, his hands wrapped around your throat choking you “come for me slut” with a couple more thrust both of you came undone.

Breathing heavily as you calmed from your high, you got off his lap and sat beside him leaning on the headboard.

You looked ahead seeing both of your reflections in the mirror; cheeks flushed and swollen lips.

Tamaki turned towards you smiling as he caressed your face leaning for a kiss.

“You're amazing, you know that?” you smiled at him, finding him adorable in his fucked out state.

“So are you,” you said, returning the kiss.

Tamaki gets off the bed and goes to the bathroom to get something to clean both of you up. You manage to keep your eyes open, smiling as you see Tamaki’s naked butt as he leaves the room. Reaching out your hand imagining to squish it.

You close your eyes letting the sleep take you over when you something cold on your inner thighs opening your eyes only to see Tamaki cleaning you off.

You feel the bed dip from Tamaki’s weight, you turn around laying on your back facing your lover. Smiling at him you wrap your arms around him and bury your head in the crook of his neck inhaling his sent mixed with sweat and sex.

“You're gonna be sore tomorrow” he places a kiss on the crown of your head “don't blame me for it though it was you who wanted it” he tries to mimic your moans from earlier. “Shut up” you say playfully slapping his chest he let out a low chuckles holding you tighter ready to let sleep take over.

[ruewrites]

Wait asks being open means requests are open right??? If yes OH MY GOD IVE BEEN PRAYING FOR THIS DAY SINCE AGES

Could you pls pls pls pls do a dialuci fic except it's a royal au? Like dia and Luci are set to get married but Luci didn't want to until he saw Dia?? I know this isn't your primary ship but it would mean the WORLD to me (*˘︶˘*).｡*♡

Meeting His Prince

AO3

Ship: Diavolo/Lucifer

Word Count: 2008

Warnings: None

A/N: Hi Anon! First of all, thank you. When I finished up WBT, I was thinking about writing a royalty au, and this request acutally made me plot it out. I guess this will be a psuedo prequel to it? But I want Dialuci to be a ship in it. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this!

Lucifer had his clothing pressed and his crown polished. A crowned prince had to make a good impression being the shining jewel of the growing empire of Arcadia. Yet it wasn’t his clothing that worried his father. It was Lucifer’s expression.

To say he was happy was far from correct. Lucifer never gave much thought to marriage. Honestly, he’d be happy ruling Arcadia without anyone by his side. He’d spent much of his time caring for his siblings and learning how to rule over the kingdom, so an heir wasn’t an idea he was fond of. It was something he knew had been expected of him as well. Producing a strong line of future kings and queens to lead Arcadia had been in the stars for him according to his father. 

Perhaps he had read the stars wrong.

The memory of Father bursting through the palace doors uttering curses under his breath. Apparently the prince had been rather persistent with his demands. His father wanted to make an alliance with this kingdom horribly so. Apparently the prince was rather effective in the way he ruled and was a skilled strategist. He would be a powerful addition to Arcadia, but he was stubborn once he’d made his decision. Strategist indeed if he could get the King of Arcadia to give into his demands. The anger in the king’s eyes when he told Lucifer that he had been chosen burned Lucifer’s very soul.

Lucifer knew where this anger was coming from, not that he cared all that much. He’d never really given too much thought to what his paternal figure wanted from him. Why start now?

His siblings had all had varying reactions: sighing about the ‘romance’ of the situation, poking fun at him, and in some cases offering sympathy. He just wanted to stay neutral about it. The end goal for him was to be a worthy future king of Arcadia, this was just a stepping stone he had to take to get there. Other issues surrounding this engagement could be figured out with time. He had time. He just needed to stay level headed. 

He hadn’t noticed the clock ticking down to his wedding day, he hadn’t even realized that he’d never met his fiance despite the flood of letters that were sent his way once a month.  It seemed odd. Lucifer wasn’t really sure how to react to the attention and aggressive affection. The entire situation felt more like a relationship with a paramour rather than an arranged marriage for the good of their kingdoms. For now, it was best to push it to the back of his mind and deal with it when the time came. There wasn’t any point in fighting anything lest he cause conflict that would certainly affect more people than just him. 

Ah the life of being a royal.

Lovely wasn’t it? 

The day of the foreign prince’s arrival, Lucifer spent hours pacing around the palace overlooking every tiny detail. Of course he could change his mind at any moment and Lucifer couldn’t have that happen. This was for the good of Arcadia. He glanced over the arrangement of food on the table one last time before letting out a sigh. 

Composure was key.

He was the pride of Arcadia.

Nothing could break him.

Nothing could throw him off guard.

Nothing-

“Lucifer!”

Lucifer didn’t even have time to process the situation. Strong arms wrapped around him, suffocating him in a tight embrace. He struggled, gasping for air and attempting to escape from the steel grip capturing him. When he did manage some distance, his hair was a mess and his clothes were disheveled. 

Golden eyes met his own, sparkling like gold coins reflecting the summer sun. 

“You’re even more beautiful in person,” the other prince’s voice came out as a whisper, as firm hands gently cupped his face, “You’re as radiant as an angel-”

He was a puppy. A giant puppy. 

“Oh how lucky I am to be married to such a gorgeous man.”

“We’re not married yet,“ Lucifer hoped he didn’t sputter as he pulled away.  This was hardly the professional meeting he’d been expecting. This was their first time meeting before their wedlock, and Lucifer had been thrown off balance.

He could do professional.

He couldn’t do whatever… whatever this was.

“Well, we’ll be married soon.”

“Your Highness-”

“Diavolo.”

Lucifer stopped in his tracks. All he could do was stare at those big shiny eyes. “Excuse me?”

“Please call me by my name. I’d like to hear how perfect it sounds on your tongue,” Diavolo repeated.

Heat rose into Lucifer’s face and he hoped it didn’t show. Quickly, he turned away and started walking towards one end of the table. “In any case, you’ve had a long trip. Why don’t-”

No sooner had Lucifer sat than Diavolo swooped in to scoot a chair closer to him. This man really didn’t have any sense of personal space did he? This was unfamiliar territory. Lucifer expected him to sit on the opposite end, allowing him to keep some distance between them. That’s how people were to stay. At a nice, respectable distance to be observed and to exchange pleasantries, but no closer. Diavolo was a stranger, yet he refused to act like one.

“I want to know everything about you,” Diavolo sounded as if he was marvelling at a being from another word. It was an unsettling feeling, “You’re favorite music, what you like to do in your free time, everything about you.”

Lucifer scooted away ever so slightly. Diavolo followed. 

“Why would you care about any of that?” 

This was business.

“Because we’re getting married.”

That didn’t mean he had to know anything about Lucifer.

But Diavolo had a nice laugh. It was booming and made Lucifer’s lips twitch upward ever so slightly. Everything about him was warm. Warmth Lucifer had never known before. 

He tried to touch his face once more, Lucifer turned away. It was instinct. Lucifer wasn’t accustomed to being touched. 

“You act like no one’s ever acted like this with you before!”

“That’s because no one has,” his eye glanced toward Diavolo, “My family isn’t exactly touchy.”

More specifically his father. He didn’t like touchiness, he thought it would make them weak. Therefore, physical affection wasn’t common when their father was around, especially not with Lucifer. He was their crown prince. He needed to be strong and rule without anything in his way. 

Diavolo’s demeanor changed, his shoulders fell, his eyes widened, and his mouth fell.

“Don’t apologize. It’s not anything worth pitying. It happened and there’s nothing that can be done to change it,” he sighed, leaning back in his chair, “It’s what he thought best for the future of Arcadia.”

You threw a wrench in his plans.

And for that, well, Lucifer couldn’t help but feel a little satisfied. After pushing him and his siblings to follow certain path all of their lives, it was nice to see something not go as planned for a change. Lucifer wouldn’t be having heirs, and that was fine by him.  Any interruption counted as a victory for him, no matter how small. 

“I am sorry,” Diavol’s voice was more even and calmer than it had been before, “For how I have been behaving though. It must have been startling to you. Please forgive me.”

Lucifer turned his head back towards him and quirked his eyebrow.

“My own father was very affectionate when I was young, I suppose I just miss it, and I’d like to share that with you, if you’ll allow me.”

Lucifer thought for a moment, allowing silence to permeate in the room. If asked, he’d say he did it to make Diavolo sweat, but in reality he was genuinely thinking it over. “I suppose, perhaps with time.”

The way he beamed made Lucifer’s heart skip a beat, “Then let’s get to dinner and start to know each other a little better, shall we?”

***

Enjoying the evening had not been on Lucifer’s list of things to do, but he wouldn’t complain.

“You like dogs? I could get you a dog as a wedding present.”

Lucifer laughed, “Father wouldn’t allow it. He’s not fond of animals.”

“Well he can’t stop me from getting a present that you would like. “

This man defying his father? Heavens help them. Perhaps Lucifer liked him a little more than he thought. It wasn’t something he was used to. He’d never had a relationship like this before. This was the first time he felt like he’d had a genuine conversation with someone outside of his family. For once, Lucifer felt a little relaxed. 

Diavolo was genuinely interested in what Lucifer liked. He wrote down how Lucifer took his tea, wanted to listen to all of his favorite songs with him, and what he liked to do in his free time. He wanted to play chess with him and spend time with him in any way he could.

It made Lucifer’s feel warm and his chest lurch. He loved the smile that found its way onto his face and how Diavolo’s voice surrounded him. Perhaps he’d found a new favorite song.

He felt like he’d known Diavolo for ages.

He made it easier for Lucifer to breathe.

“Diavolo-”

Diavolo froze. His eyes went wide again, “You said my name.”

Lucifer didn’t get a chance to move before he was being lifted off the ground and spun in the air. Diavolo’s booming laugh surrounded them. 

“Oh you said my name! And it was perfect! More than perfect!” he lowered Lucifer only to bring him into a kiss. Now it was Lucifer’s turn to freeze. His face quickly turned red as his eyes flew open. He stiffened, and tried to bring himself back. He’d never been kissed before. A crown prince had to be careful when it came to his image, and he’d had more important things to focus on than starting romances that would lead to nowhere. He’d always known he’d be married off to someone else, so he didn’t really see a point in seeking out others for romance.

Lucifer never thought about what it would be like to be kissed.

He wasn’t exactly sure about what to think now. 

When Diavolo pulled away the terror seemed to set it. “Oh I’m sorry! I- I went too far-” 

As he mumbled, Lucifer felt himself come back. It was when he realized how nervous the other prince was.  He was energetic and was the opposite of Lucifer himself. Instead of going silent like Lucifer did, Diavolo seemed to ramble even more. With a chuckle and the shake of his head, Lucifer put his finger tips under Diavolo’s chin and brought his focus back to him. 

Lucifer wasn’t one to be won over so easily, but there was something about this man that made him think their union wouldn’t be a bad one. Perhaps he could make his life a little more interesting. 

If he could force his father into doing something that he didn’t want to do, like agreeing to the condition of Diavolo getting to marry his crown prince, Lucifer figured he would like him.

“I will have to kiss my husband eventually, you’re an awfully excitable man Diavolo. I think I quite enjoy that about you,” he smiled, before placing a gentler kiss onto his lips. 

If Diavolo wanted to play the role of adoring husband Lucifer wouldn’t stop him. Maybe marriage wouldn’t be as bad as he thought. Perhaps he could rule Arcadia with another person effectively after all.

When they pulled away, Lucifer caressed his face, “I think I could see myself participating in acts of affection in private.”

He and Diavolo walked a little closer on the rest of their stroll, and he found himself leaning into his shoulder every now and again. 

Perhaps he could get used to this.

Perhaps he would lead Arcadia into a new age, and be an even better ruler with Diavolo at his side.

It would be a future to look forward to.

[liesoverthec]

I was wondering.. in term of professions, what are Chimney and Hen? Are they paramedics? just EMTs? or firefighter/paramedics? Bobby is a fire captain, buck and eddie are firefighters? Are latter 3 also EMTs like paramedic and EMT are different and firefighters also have to be an EMT I guess? And Hen once said to Michael that Bobby is an EMT.. I don't live in the US so it's confusing me.

Hey anon, good morning! (It’s probably not morning where you are nor will it be morning when I finally post this but I’m starting on this first thing in my morning so, good morning! 😂)

Okay so - here’s the facts, as I know them.

Bc the US is such a governmental mess, there is no one standard for what medical training a firefighter is required to have as a minimum across the United States. Some departments really really want everyone to be a paramedic, some say EMT is the basic.

This is also TV land, so I have honestly no idea if the show’s LAFD follows the same medical requirements as the real life LAFD - there’s not really any good information on that on their website. I can just tell you what everyone is based on their medical training and the definitions for those positions.

EMTs and paramedics are different. EMTs have basic medical training, but way more than the average civilian would get just from doing a first aid class. Paramedics are people with the most training who can provide the highest level of pre-hospital care, and it’s a lot more work to become a paramedic than an EMT (obvs w the level of knowledge involved, if you remember Chim drilling himself so hard in his Begins ep, Google says EMT training is ~100hr, and paramedic training is ~1000hr). This Dallas-based EMT site says that EMTs can do things that don’t break the skin - eg no IVs, no stitches, etc, and paramedics CAN do the skin-breaking stuff. And also here’s another link to a US-based EMT website that explains the differences if you want to read it yourself!

Hen and Chim are paramedics. They went through the extra training, they got certified, they have fancy patches for it on their uniforms.That’s why 98% of the time, they provide all of the primary medical care, and also why they drive the ‘bus.

Bobby and Buck are EMTs. They’ve never specifically said Buck is an EMT, like you mentioned they have w Bobby (at least that I can remember), but most real life departments require you to be at least an EMT, and we’ve seen Buck do things like splint broken bones or do basic medical checks to help diagnose patients, all of which are things you need to be EMT-certified to do. Plus he would need to be, to be sent into places like the tilting building during the earthquake, so that he could provide enough care to get those patients, alive, to actual paramedics.

Eddie is also an EMT. My understanding of his situation is this - he does have medic training from the army, but he has not been paramedic certified, so Bobby can’t (and shouldn’t) treat him like any other paramedic. However, it does let him be an extra set of medic hands when the team needs it - eg when Chim was out on paternity leave. But until we get confirmation he’s taken the paramedic exam, he’s just an EMT like Bobby and Buck. (Little rant about paramedic Eddie, since I see so many people calling for it - y’all realize it will mean LESS screen time for him, right? Leaving aside the whole thing of ‘Chim and Hen still most likely being the primary paramedics’, if he does get paramedic time, it VERY OFTEN doesn’t count as screen time bc the camera focuses on just their hands. So it’d probably mean similar or even less amounts of Eddie, until Hen or Chim moves on. Unfortunately.) Anyways, for fic writing purposes, I’d say you could probably get away w/ him acting solely as an EMT on the job, but doing paramedic stuff if there was a uhhhhhh personal emergency 👀👀👀.

If anyone has anything to add about the definitions of EMT vs paramedic, feel free to add on! (So anon maybe check the comments just in case!) But honestly I’d say any anecdotal/real life experience with any fire department system should probably be taken w/ a grain of salt bc like I said before - this is TV land. The show can and will change anything it wants to make their story happen, so I would tend to favor what the show tells you about their fictional department, JUST FOR FIC WRITING PURPOSES, over anything real life if there’s a conflict in information, if you’d like to make anything as canon as possible. If you want to make it MORE realistic than the show and use real life protocols etc, then that is something totally else and I applaud you for it. I mostly just want to say that for people who may want to yell at me in the comments - I did not make this system with its similarities or differences from real life, I’m just reporting what the show tells us, pls be gentle w me!

*anon I realized I didn’t TOTALLY answer your question so I’m editing to add - they’re all firefighters. They just all are also either a paramedic or an EMT, in addition to being a firefighter.

Thanks for the question anon, hope this helps!

🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝

[m4st4rd]

i would die for you, clint barton (clint barton x oc)

a/n: HI I’M BACK with a stupid little drabble. the talented @obwjam has reignited my love for comics!clint barton so i wrote a fic of him and an oc. i haven’t proofread it and the ending super sucks but i still managed to churn out about 1900 words so enjoy!!!

i’ll proofread/edit in the morning lol

brig is nb; they/them pronouns pls 

They’re scared, and Clint gets it. He’d be scared, too, if there was some weird giant searching for him. He’s no stranger to the feeling of fear. But when he’s the one causing it, it feels terrible. 

   Brooklyn is in shambles. A new supervillain group tests their weapons on a bank in Bushwick, the Avengers are on the case, a city block is engulfed in chaos and violence. And Clint Barton is searching for a 3-inch-tall person who’s hiding in the alleyway of a Dunkin Donuts.

   He sighs and kneels down, peering under the dumpster. Huddled in the dark is the shaking borrower, who stares back with wide eyes and a gaping mouth. They look like crap: covered in dried blood and dirt, their clothes torn and ratty. But the little guy is stubborn as hell, and hurls a pebble in his direction. They miss by a long shot. He would’ve laughed if the city wasn’t on fire.

   “C’mon out, bud,” he says. A faint boom! rattles the world behind him. “It’s not safe under there. Are you lookin’ to be caught? A rat, an alley cat… God forbid, there might be a human who ain’t as nice as I am.” With a nervous glance behind him, he sees Kate dart past, notching an arrow and letting it fly. “Not to mention that the city’s comin’ apart.”

   They shout something back, and Clint can barely piece together the words leave and alone. It’s not helpful, though, that they’re so small and covered in shadow. And the fact that he can see their teary eyes in the dark is not helping his conscience. Another explosion shakes the earth, and the borrower lets out a wail that he does hear. 

   They’re both getting frantic. He softens his face, puts a pleading look into his eyes. “Please,” he calls. “I can keep you safe.” 

   The borrower doesn’t get to respond. A scream rips through the air, and he’s made up his mind. He jumps to his feet and drags the dumpster back, only getting a glimpse of the sheer terror on their tiny face before he scoops them up in a fist and tucks them into a jacket pocket. It’s not ideal, but if it means they won’t be crushed or eaten, he’ll take it. 

   They’re writhing, and he ignores it. The feeling of them shaking against his chest forms a pit in his stomach. They’re scared, but at least they’re safe.

   The rest of the battle zips by like a blur. Clint spends it shielding the borrower, dodging rubble, and praying to whatever gods present for this little guy to not be so terrified of him. Their shaking has stopped for now, but they’re stiff as a board and flinching with every move he makes. When the fight dies down, he’s left nursing a wound on his shoulder and cupping his hand around his pocket. He’s gotta get out of there, and fast.

   His free hand finds his comms, and he sends a quick farewell message to Kate. She responds quick, familiar beeps filling his ears: Get home safe. See you soon, Hawkeye.

   The message brings a smile to his face, but it disappears when he remembers his job. His day isn’t over yet. 

   He runs his way home. 

   The apartment greets him with blinding fluorescents and a mess on his coffee table. Things that are normally hangover-induced nuisances are now pushed to the far corners of his mind as he limps to his counter. 

   His fingers dive into his pocket, and he does his best to be gentle, but with the little guy swerving away from his hand, he ends up tangled around their limbs, pulling them out in a quivering heap. They’re a pitiful sight; their tiny face is tear-stained, and once they lock eyes, the poor kid flinches back into their protective huddle. 

   They’re speaking, and fast. That much he knows. Their voice is buzzing away. But he can’t understand anything that's coming out. He gets the gist of what they might be saying: there’s a pleading look in their eyes, and their lip is quivering. He doesn’t like this feeling.

   “Hey,” he whispers, cupping his hands closer around the tiny body. “Hey. Look at me.” He nudges their shoulder. They’re practically humming with anxiety. “C’mon, calm down, buddy. You’re okay.” 

   They aren’t making any progress like this. Clint lowers his hands to the countertop and the borrower stumbles off, clutching their chest and scrubbing the tears from their eyes. “Look,” he says softly. “Not touching you anymore, see? You’re fine. You’re okay.”

   He watches with a pang in his heart as they cry for a bit, hugging their knees to their chest, and takes the time to look them over. Their hair is dark and matted, their clothes patchy, their face young, but thin and gaunt. This isn’t the same stubborn little guy he’d met an hour ago; this is someone who is absolutely-fucking-terrified of him. He can barely deal with crying people at his own height; he can’t even begin to comfort someone who’s three inches tall.

   Reasoning sets in as they clear their eyes of the last of their tears. Even if he was well-intentioned, he did sorta… take them. Grab them up and stick them in a pocket. If some giant had done that to him, he’d be pretty scared, too. 

   “Do you understand me?” he tries. The tiny head snaps up, and the kid babbles something that vaguely sounds like sorry and don’t hurt. “No, no, I promise I’m not gonna hurt you… Fuck. I was — I was just tryna keep you safe!” It’s hard to read lips on such a small face, but he gets the gist of it, and it hurts like hell.

   This isn’t working out so great. “Let’s start over, okay? I’m Clint. Clint Barton. And I — I can’t hear you all that well.” 

   That gets them to shut up. The fear disappears from their face, replaced by sheer bewilderment.  (Yeah. As if they’re the one that should be surprised.) They scrub their eyes and stare at him in awe, and Clint can’t help but chuckle. “Weird, I know. But we can figure somethin’ out, alright? You okay to talk? Or just… shake your head, yes or no.” 

   That gets a timid nod. “Great. Good. Not hurt, are you?” A shake. “Thank God for that.” Now we’re getting somewhere. But Clint needs to ask them questions, and he needs to get answers. How is he supposed to talk to someone smaller than his finger?

   His mind is racing. Sign language! It’s a long shot, but just maybe he can get through to them.

   “Do you understand this?” His hands move slow, just in case. But it doesn’t go the way he’s hoping. The borrower shrieks and falls back, and they’re both back to square one. “No, hey, wait! It’s okay!” He signs while he speaks, and the kid watches every move he makes with terrified eyes. “Look — it’s a language! My name is Clint. C-L-I-N-T.” Each letter is deliberate, and with each second, the little guy uncurls from their protective ball. “Now that I’ve told you my name, will you tell me yours?”

   They both fall silent. He holds his breath and watches the tiny face with a furrowed brow. It’s small, almost impossible to see, but there’s a hint of hope in their eyes. He’s so overcome with joy that he doesn’t notice them open their mouth.

   “...ig.”

   He freezes. “Sorry, what?”

   They wither back. “Brig,” they say, louder this time. Their voice is muffled and nervous, but it’s there. And Clint can’t stop himself from smiling. 

   “Brig,” he repeats. “That’s B-R-I-G. See?” He grins. They’re still cautious, but they watch his hands with curious eyes as he signs their name. “It’s nice to meet you, Brig.”

   Good! This is good. Clint can see them coming out of their shell, little by little. They look unsure, but their hands twitch in time with his. “There’s so much you can say with just your hands! This is hello, and this is goodbye. Yes, no, please and thank you— I can teach you, if you want!”

   The magic is gone, and Brig snaps back into their defensive huddle. “T-teach me?” they squeak. “But… would mean…” They glance around the kitchen, eyes widening as they take in the sight. They’re so small compared to everything else. “What about… home?”

   He’s overstepped his boundaries. He kneels to get closer to their level. They reel back, a gesture that goes unnoticed in his concern. “Was that where you live?” he asks. “Near where the fight was?”

   They’re quick to nod. “Left… a bit,” they say. “Rats.” The last syllable is loud, clear, and bitter. “Got caught… the fight.” Brig shrugs, looking nervous and embarrassed. “And by you.”

   Clint frowns. A place like that is dangerous for someone of their size, but he’s in no place to argue. “Is there anyone you stay with? Any family or friends you can go back to?”

   Now they’re silent. His heart plummets when they grimace and look away, a sadness creeping into their eyes. Realization crashes over him when they shake their head.

   He hadn’t thought of that. 

   “You don’t have to stay,” he says gently. Guilt lingers in his chest as he leans back, too, suddenly self conscious about his hands. “I-I can get you back home if you need me too — I can’t imagine it’s all that safe, but if that’s what you want…” The borrower is tense, and Clint is cursing himself for being so hopeful. 

   Finally, after a minute of mulling it over, he gives a resigned sigh. “Damage Control is cleaning the place up,” he tells them. “They should be done in a week or two, okay? You can stay with me, but when they’re done… I’ll bring you back.” Every word hurts more than the last. “Only if you want to. How’s that sound?”

   The kitchen falls silent. Clint’s heart is beating fast, and he bites his tongue as conflicting emotions flicker across the tiny face. “I-I can bring you back now, if you like,” he stammers. “Ya don’t have to stay. A-and you don’t have to tell me exactly where you live, but I can just drop you off and you can be on your way and we’ll b —”

   “I’ll stay.” 

   This time, the little voice comes out strong. “You — you will?” he says.

   They nod shyly in response, and he can piece together what they say next: “Just… back… my feet.” Just until I’m back on my feet. 

   He can live with that.

   Clint’s heart swells with triumph. He can’t remember the last time he was this happy. There’s no explaining why he feels this way. “O-Okay. Awesome. Welcome home, Brig.”

   He glances back at the mess in his apartment, then to the mess of his clothes, too. They’re both covered in dust and blood, but neither care about it as Clint laughs. “We should probably get cleaned up first, though. What do you say?”

   He’s smiling. And for the first time all day, Brig is smiling, too.

   They’ve got a lot of work to do.

[halfhappyhooligan]

a voltron au? in 2020? it’s more likely than you think

look. LOOK. i know that voltron is stupid and we hate it but lets be honest: everything up until season 3 was pretty good and had lots of potential !!

today i was rewatching voltron and a thought struck me: what if, instead of shiro being cloned, he was chipped and turned to the side of the galra?

so here it is, i did not blink since i thought of this

(warning, i have not seen voltron in a while and this is just knowledge i have stored in my moss brain and stuff i know from rewatching the first season)

au where shiro goes evil bc of what happens @ end of season one instead of the clone thing bc 1) haggar rly could not have made thousands of shiros after bumping into team voltron like what twice? its hella improbable and 2) just… weird

so instead they insert a chip in him that helps them spy and control him just like kuron (the clone) did minus the unlikely storytelling

eventually after the convo with sendak when he was in the pod trying to temp shirp, he does have thoughts about helping zarkon

(“im already infiltrated with the arm, i could just speed up the process by leaving now. save the team the trouble of investing in a leader that’s doomed to fail from the strart.”)

shiro ends up leaving team voltron in season 2 after zarkon goes crazy w the black lion n stuff

^^ this adds to Keith’s reasoning of joining the Blade of Marmora (shiro is his main stability and one of the main reasons he even stuck around with team voltron, so with shiro gone and keith questioning his place as the leader and paladin of the black lion, he decides the BoM is just.. what’s best for him) 

obviously lance isn’t happy with this (“you just told me that i’m a valuable member, now you don’t think YOU are? what logic is that?”)

ofc keith goes anyways

lance becomes paladin of the black lion

allura takes on the red lion

who has blue lion? ...idk this isn’t that thought out (maybe matt after pidge finds her family) (which will happen earlier in the plot since we can forget about the miniplot of black no longer responding to shiro)

enter lotor only this time he has a sidekick and what omg its shiro wow

shiro has that bigger version of his arm that was once offered to him

he’s stronger and scary, but his eyes aren’t the same, he has the strength of a galra but lacks the passion 

in the fight between lotor and zarkon, (and after, of course lots of self doubt and questioning) shiro comes between them and convinces lotor NOT to kill zarkon

then zarkon kills lotor

everyones like oh shit bc surely someone who’s life was just spared wouldn’t kill the person who seems to have the most power

but he did. bc he’s zarkon. and he’s fckn crazy.

shiro doesn’t go back to team voltron bc its too much too easily

instead he takes the place of lotor in the group of gals 

he convinces them all to rebel against the galra

eventually they teach him all about quintessence and all the shit lotor had planned that they can’t do anymore

(lotor wasn’t harvesting alteans in this universe bc what the heck even was that subplot that had little to no relevance to the main storyline?

instead he was trying to find a way to technologically bring back alteans (kinda like how allure’s dad was originally preserved in s1)

i know nothing about How Stuff Works and i dont remember much about quintessence n shit but the basic idea is that when tying in some of a persons artifacts with technology stuff and some quintessence then boom. a weird route from astral projection land to the team is created and ppl can come back or smth idfk

but lotor was never able to get the comet so shiro decides he and the gals will get that comet and try to bring back as many alteans as they can

^ all this while infiltrating as many galra fleets as possible + saving planets under galra empire

they personally visit every planet that lotor was in charge of and release them from galra control

they are able to bring back an altean (its romelle) and she talks abt her friend who lives on the balmera and they go to the balmera and its revealed that it was shay’s great grandmother so romelle asks where shay is and shay’s family is like with team voltron of course

so

they take her

obviously team voltron, the BoM and the Rebels r very hesitant to make contact but they decide to try it out

keith refuses to meet, instead he’s on the team that stands guard

reunions !! 

romelle and shay hit it off and hunk makes a dinner much like roselle’s past (allura and coran also hang out and they all vibe)

lance talks to shiro abt everything to do with keith and shiro is like dude do u??? like him?

and lance is like what? no ofc not—oh shit.

and keith ✨overhears ✨

pidge matt and shiro catch up n shit

meanwhile keith is like Hey Lance Uhhhhhh What The Fuck

they end up being like hey since we’re all here and we hate zarkon what if we make a plan to end the galra’s reign Right Now

so they do

and y’all.. it’s hella baller plan

except something is going wrong and in the middle of an attack zarkon is able to get the upper hand 

due to haggar’s magic and lance’s mental and emotional instability, zarkon is able to get in his head

everyone is trying to talk him down but they’re all under a lot of pressure

allura is also conflicted bc she wanted to be black lion bc she wanted to rub it in to zarkon’s face that she was stronger than he and that she could beat him at his own game

but the negativity and instability feeds into zarkon’s power and makes him and haggar stronger as they pull in voltron to finally take over the team and regain their status as the most powerful alien race

hunk realizes this and is like okay can y’all stop being negative? its clearly affecting them in a good way and it makes us an easier target

and pidge is like im literally a child pls i don’t wanna die i just got my family back it can’t end like this

shiro realizes what’s going on and he goes to save them

he uses all his energy, pulling in the positive memories (everything: first learning about space, becoming a teacher, meeting adam, meeting keith, first making team voltron, his friends and family--all of it) to push back zarkon and haggar’s powers and battle once more in the astral realm 

in defeating zarkon, shiro loses his life

afterwards keith enters the ship in a hurry and is like where the fuck is shiro where’s my brother what did you do what happened

and team voltron is like hey man.. we are so so sorry

and keith cries because the last thing he ever said to shiro was mean

lance feels like its all his fault since he was supposed to be a good leader

they talk about separately while hunk pidge and allura discuss

krolia is like keith we, ur family, are here for u

and axca is there and shes like um?? hey?? sry for trying to kill u bro

and he’s like i absolutely do not wanna talk i just lost my closest friend

they talk about it later

axca tells keith abt shiro finishing lotor’s work and abt bringing people back and well.. 

they use the methods to help keith visit shiro in the astral realm

shiro is like oh uh hey i was just having a drink w adam we r happy

and keith is like shiro u fuckhead why would u sacrifice urself

shiro sighs bc cmon keith you KNOW why “remember what i always said? we can’t focus on what went wrong..”

“we’ve got to figure out how to make it right” keith finishes

keith breaks tf down crying and screams apologizing

“i love u shiro. ur a like a big brother to me.”

and shiro is like yeah i know and ilyt but hey. everyone’s safe and happy. im safe and happy. & you deserve to be too. you don’t need me anymore.

so the galra rule is over and everyone goes to their respected planets

romelle and the other alteans as well as some galra babes hang in earth

romelle and shay r in an apartment together and have a garden

allura realizes she may not have been the strongest leader for voltron, and  couldn’t stop zarkon on her own but that physical strength doesn’t define her as a whole

her heart is strong enough to care for everyone, so thats what she does

allura starts running an inn for alteans filled with painted sceneries like altea in case anyone ever needs a reminder of home

when lance reunites with his family its a real tearjerker

rachel finally gets her jacket back and veronica is like So.. Axca 👀

the McClain’s host a huge party for everyone and it’s filled with lots of hugs and loud music and even tho lance was way too tired, he danced all night

he wouldn’t trade his family for the world—genetic and chosen

when hunk reunites with his parents they don’t let him out the house for hours, he tells them all about his new best friend shay as well as hundreds of his favorites stories from space

they are so, so proud of him

hunk spends the next days playing minecraft and animal crossing with pidge, giving their brains a rest from being on hyperdrive for 3 yrs straight

when pidge gets home she finally gets grounded by her mom, only being allowed to leave the house to see her old teammates

(same for matt and her dad)

(her mother cries so hard when they opened the door to the home)

the holt family holds movie nights filled with popcorn, cuddles, and tears

keith moves in with the holt family, and finally accepts that he has a home as well as a family

he often goes on trips with the BoM but mostly just stays on earth

after a Team Voltron sleepover in the altea inn keith and lance decide to get an apartment together and live their lives in love and in peace

everyone gets together once a year in celebration of shiro and the sacrifice he made for them

they use the ship to visit Astral Shiro and once they even met adam

everyone laughs and catches up and just... live their lives

everyone is happy

pls ignore any and all errors lmao

again, just a thought !! maybe i’ll write a fic abt it idk for sure but yeah

feel free to add anything <3

[angelruel]

Challenge

“for fucks sake, y/n can you please just do what you’re told for once”

author’s note: this is kinda toxic, sorry. also, pls be easy on me. this is my very first fic ever and could possibly be the last.

         summary: Ruel snaps at you which causes you to challenge his authority in the relationship. ft. an aggressive and controlling boyfriend rool but in a non-toxic way haha. Just the big scorpio energy i know in my heart that boy has. Also I made up friends' names to keep his real homies out of this. 

masterlist

Word Count: about 3k

       It was pretty clear that shit was about to hit the fan. Everyone could feel the tension from the moment they stepped into the house. Ruel had warned you beforehand that two of his friends, Adam and Gabe, were on the outs at the moment and things were bound to blow up soon. However, no one expected it to go down at the Friendsgiving party that Adam and his girlfriend planned for everyone just before the holidays. Adam and his girlfriend… who used to be Gabe’s girlfriend… or at least that’s how he told it. 

       The party was going pretty well. You and Ruel cooked queso dip the night before to bring. It was cooked in a crockpot so there wasn’t much work being put in, but Ruel was still proud of your “first official meal prepared together.” 

       After walking in, you and Ruel soon separated to greet people and you headed towards the kitchen to set down the crockpot. You had already met most of his friends, so it was easy to start mingling with the girls that you saw in the kitchen. You weren’t far into your conversations when you received a text from Ruel simply saying “pay attention.” There was yelling coming from the living room, mostly guys saying “Okay, calm down,” or “Back up.” You all headed down there from the kitchen to see what was going on and were met with Gabe and Adam about to throw down in the middle of the living room. You found Ruel across the room and sat on the couch near where he was standing. He leaned down to you and rolls his eyes towards his friends.

       “Pssh, what I tell ya?”

       You laughed back, “Yeah but I thought we’d at least have 30 solid minutes before it went to hell.”

       Ruel shook his head and whispered, “Not with these guys.”

       Everyone was just crowded around the living room area listening to the drama unfold. It was clear that both Adam and Gabe had been drinking already, and Gabe held a beer in his hand as he continued to argue back and forth with his friend. Because they were both intoxicated, none of the conversations really made any sense. It didn’t take much to figure out the source of the problem, seeing as the girl they were arguing over was in the corner crying her eyes out. Once Gabe stepped closer to Adam and set his beer on the coffee table, all of the other guys got up and started moving towards them.

       “Okay, you should go get in the car,” Ruel leaned over the couch arm and tried to hand his car keys to you. 

        You slightly swatted his hand away before replying “Nah, I’m good,” never taking your eyes off of the boys. Here’s the thing: when you were in the kitchen earlier, you received some tea on the situation that revealed maybe Gabe wasn’t exaggerating as much as everyone thought he was. Apparently, the main reason Adam’s girlfriend offered to host the Friendsgiving this year was to try and make everyone like her despite her past with Gabe. And Gabe was not holding back. He was exposing the homegirl repeatedly, confirming most of what you were told in the kitchen. 

       You probably shouldn’t have dismissed Ruel like that, but you couldn’t help yourself every now and then because deep down you kind of enjoyed when he got angry with you. The dominant persona that he took on was something so natural and passionate and always enchanted you as much as it startled you.

       “Babe,” you could hear Ruel continuing to get your attention but you were too invested in what was going on. His tone that started off as gentle was now getting more aggressive as he had to keep repeating himself. Usually, you would let Ruel protect you in a situation like this. However, no one else was making any moves to leave the apartment at any time soon, so why should you have to be the only one to miss the fight? 

       In retrospect, Ruel was probably only trying to prevent you from getting hurt in the impending cross-fire between the two guys because you both knew that he would rain down hellfire and shut the whole party down if any of those drunk clowns touched you even if by accident. You knew that he was protective but he was just going to have to get over himself today. 

       Once Gabe put his beer down and took a step towards Adam, you felt a firm hand press down on your shoulder with keys in the palm.

       “Y/N, go start the car. I’ll be over in a minute and we can go-”

       You cut him off, “I’m good, I’ll just wait for you.” You could feel his eyes burning into the side of your face but you couldn’t care less. No one was paying attention to the back and forth between the two of you. The only thing people could focus on was the constant blows Gabe attempted to make towards Adam’s face which he missed each time. The rest of Ruel’s friends began to slowly gather around the two just in case things got too serious. He had previously mentioned to you that this conflict had been growing a huge wedge in between everyone and that if they started fighting, they were going to try and let them resolve this on their own. But it was getting too far. Ruel needed to join the guys in separating them, but he didn’t want to leave your side until you were out of the place. Apparently, Gabe had a tendency to swing on women when he got too upset. And he was clearly past the point of anger now.

       “Y/N. Get. Out of here. Into the car, now.” You looked up to see his stern expression on his face. Who was he, your father?

       “No, I’m enjoying this.” 

       After obviously being fed up with your protests, you felt his hand grab your arm firmly. He wasn’t hurting you, but the pressure of his hand against your arm was enough to let you know he wasn’t playing around. 

       Before you could get up, he whisper/yelled to you, “For fuck's sake, Y/N can you please just do what you’re told for once.” The hurt you were feeling was overpowered by the anger that boiled up inside of you.

       “What the fuck did you just say to me?” you spit out at him as you snatch your arm away. He had some nerve to speak to you like that in front of his fucking friends. 

       In reality, you usually stood up to him anytime he challenged you like this. It was no secret that Ruel had a temper when things didn’t go his way, but he’d only ever snapped on you like this once or twice before. Although it was a potentially dangerous situation, you could handle yourself and you surely didn’t need him talking to you like a child in front of everyone like that. You snatched the keys out of his hand and stormed out of the living room. It was obvious that Ruel didn’t care about your own feelings even though he made a point to not let anyone else hear what he whispered in your ear. 

       As you waited in the passenger seat of his car, you grew increasingly angry at your boyfriend. You thought about how unnecessary that comment was. In fact, you actually considered driving off and leaving his ass but immediately dismissed that thought because he was already frustrated enough at the situation and that would only add fuel to the fire. You tried to scroll through twitter to distract yourself from how upset you were feeling but doing so only paused your thoughts just for them to be resumed as soon as he appears outside of the building.

       It took him about twenty minutes to return to the car and you could only assume it was because the boys actually did start fighting each other. After he got into the vehicle and started to drive the both of you back home, he broke the silence between the two of you. 

       “Geez, it’s so hard to calm Gabe down when he gets plastered like that.” 

       You didn’t respond and just continued to stare at your phone. You were still beyond pissed and Ruel could definitely feel the tension. He just sighed and brushed it off, ignoring your attitude by turning on some music and singing obnoxiously loud along to it. This nonchalant behavior only pisses you off more. Does he not feel the need to apologize for the way he spoke to you?

       “Fuck, I left the crockpot. Was too caught up in the bullshit to realize. I’ll probably stop by over there tomorrow morning to get it.”

       You still didn’t look up from your phone but this time you reply with a low “okay.”

       “Well, do you wanna stop and get food before we make it back? I know you didn’t get to eat anything before the shit hit the fan.”

       You quickly clap back to him with a short “I’m good.”

       Ruel shook his head and you could see his jaw tense out the corner of your eye. You felt the car swerve to the side and you begin to feel equally as annoyed as you are anxious to see what he was about to do. He pulled over to the side of the road and put the car in park. 

       He wasted no time before saying, “okay,” as he pressed both of his hands onto the steering wheel. 

       “I get that you’re mad because I took that tone with you back there but I just didn’t want you to get hurt. You weren’t listening, and they were about to start fighting.” 

       “So I’m going to ask you again,” you finally looked up from your phone.

       “What do you want to eat?”

       You rolled your eyes and sighed because you desperately wanted the conversation to end, so you simply said “I’m good, Ruel. Let’s just go. Please.”

       It took everything in you not to snap at him and say “I don’t need you to take care of me”, but you didn’t even want to argue with him at the moment. 

       The only thing you wanted was space from him, which he couldn’t possibly understand. In Ruel’s mind, he had to take care of you and protect you at all times. You usually viewed this as enduring and you knew he only meant well, but he’d taken it too far this time. 

       By now, you could tell that he was as annoyed with you as you were with him. 

       “Fine, but don’t ask for shit when we get home,” he spat out. 

       You thought “trust me, I won’t.” That last statement left a sour taste in your mouth mainly because he knew all too well that you’d cave in at some point in the night and want to go back out for food. The way he acted like he just knew you and was the boss of you only pissed you off more. Why couldn’t he just fucking apologize? Did he seriously not see anything wrong with the way he treated you back there?

       Ruel made it seem like a challenge. You were gonna show him that he didn’t know you as well as he thought. 

       When you finally got back to his home, you rushed upstairs to take a shower and change into some different clothes. You walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom to be greeted by a relaxed Ruel laid out on the bed barefoot and scrolling on his phone. He barely even lifted his head when you walked out in leggings and a t-shirt. It wasn’t until he saw you going into the closet to get a pair of shoes that he sat up and asked you what you were doing. 

       You respond matter-of-factly, “To get food,” in a much brighter tone than you had before as you dangled his car keys in front of him. He stood up to challenge you and said, “Stop playing, now.” 

       He still had a warning tone about him which set you off. Was he seriously still acting like a bitch? It was time to snap.

       “No Ruel, why the fuck do you seriously think that you can tell me what to do and when to do it as if I can’t drive myself or protect my god damn self.”

       He opened his mouth to reply but you continued before he could speak.

       “Furthermore, I’m a grown-ass woman and you are not my dad. Plus, I’m older than you. Fuck outta here.” 

       You were beyond pissed at this point, but finally expressing yourself made you feel a little bit better. He stood up off of the bed, took two big steps towards you, and stood over you. He chuckled as he slipped the keys out of your hand.

       “Yeah, but I am much bigger than you,” he simply stated, refusing to break eye contact with you even though you so desperately wanted him to. The fact that he was making a joke out of your anger made you want to fucking explode. You snapped your body away from him and began to look up rideshare deals on your phone so you could leave on your own terms. 

       “Okay well, I’m getting an uber.” He walked right behind you, keeping up with you perfectly and had the nerve to ask “Wait, why?”

       “Because I want to leave. I’m sick of you and I don’t want to be here with you anymore, get it?” you snapped. Before you could open the door halfway, your body jumped as you saw his hand reach over and close the door. 

       Ruel got back in front of you, grabbed the bottom of your chin, and moved it slightly up so you could look him in the eyes.

       “Okay, this was cute but now it needs to stop.”

       You huffed because you simply didn’t give a fuck about his opinion anymore. You decided to go back to your silent treatment and wait for him to stop blocking the door so you could leave. 

       “You can be mad at me all you want. Go be mad downstairs or something. But please don’t leave this house. Especially not on your own.”

       Once again, who the fuck was he talking to? As you felt the tears forming in your eyes, you instantly became grateful in your mind that his parents were both out of town at the time and weren’t home to witness the big argument that rose from you and Ruel. You should’ve known that he wouldn’t be crazy over the idea of you leaving without him but he didn’t give you much of a choice. He wasn’t listening to you, and when you got super upset you always had a tendency to run away before saying something that you might regret. You only wanted to leave to cool off and clear your mind and you knew that food would certainly shift your mood quickly. However, the fact that you’ve never been anywhere around Sydney on your own and you were only there to visit him probably prompted this response from him. 

       Nevertheless, he was still very wrong in this scenario. 

       “You know what? Fuck you, Ruel. I understand that you might have been frustrated with me but there was absolutely no need to talk to me like that. You made me feel like shit. I still feel like shit. Please, just let me leave before either of us makes things worse.” You finished your last sentence before your head dropped and you began to let out a soft cry. 

       Ruel’s face immediately softened up, and he pulled you in for a hug. 

       “Baby, I’m so sorry. I know that I shouldn’t have snapped on you like that, but I’d rather you be mad at me for a while than you getting hit by one of those drunk idiots.” He grabbed your chin again to look up at him. “I knew I had to say something drastic to get your attention, but I realize that there was probably a better way to handle that. Hey, I’m learning how to love you in ways that you need me to. I just love you so much, and for me, it sometimes means that I want to protect you.”

       You pouted up at him in response. “Yeah, but I don’t need you to take care of me.”

       He leaned down to give you a big, soft kiss. “Yes,” he leaned back down and gave you another puffy kiss again, “you do.” 

       He finally let your chin go and you didn’t try to make another attempt to leave him. He grabbed both of your hands and said, “Just let me take care of you, yeah? It makes me feel better.” 

       You pressed your head into his neck in response, knowing that being able to take care of you in person took a lot of stress off of him since you both were used to a long-distance setting. He wrapped his long arms around your figure and embraced you for a long time, your body remaining stiff before you realized that he was genuinely upset about hurting you. 

       “Okay, but I’m still hungry.”

        He sighed into a hard laugh at your honesty, causing you both to have the first light moment between you two of the evening.

       “Okay. I’ll order something.”

[legacysam]

"#*erases a rant about fandom cas characterization bc god who has the energy*" me. i have the energy. give me the rant.

*cracks knuckles* okay let’s see if any of these particular intellectual muscles still work.

I am always pro-cas-being-canonically-dickish posts (even if they are misleading one way or another, more on that later) because dear GOD this fandom loves to infantalize the man. He’s a “baby in a trenchcoat.” He’s dumb about pop culture and clueless about human things isn’t it adorable? SHUT UP!!!! And pls especially shut up if you’re using his ignorance as a way of making another character look cool or smart by comparison. “it’s a shortened version of my name” was 100% Cas fucking with Dean because he is a dick sometimes! and it’s great! Also: Cas’s indifference to pop culture isn’t a weakness just because pop culture knowledge is a major currency on tumblr!!! It’s indicative of the fact that he’s got much bigger and more important things on his mind. (Also. listen. This trait was canonically erased by Metatron and it was literally the only good thing that fucking character ever did so can we please as a fandom just acknowledge that little slice of canon? pls?)

(Can I also just say.....fish out of water stories are only good when they are on the side of the fish and not just using the fish to make jokes. Just. as a note on the trope in general but specifically re: every time this shows up in fanfic with Cas or any other similar character. Thor comes to mind.)

Anyway Cas isn’t a child, he’s ANCIENT and TIRED and CONFLICTED about major moral issues, which is FASCINATING for an angel character and forces us as an audience to consider more deeply the actual differences between heaven and hell, good and evil, destiny and free will. Is this how we expect an angel to behave? What does this tell us about Heaven? If Cas is an aberration, what does that tell us about Heaven and goodness and God? So his expressions of anger and frustration and his impatience with or indifference to human courtesies are a really great part of his character and people should appreciate them more (and not just when it’s funny!)

(Sidenote bc I always think about this when I think about fandom and Cas, the reductive fandom approach to “””crazy!cas””” (what a fun way of saying “deeply affected by horrible trauma and guilt and trying to repress it so he can function.” thanks for that fandom) as comic relief or a woobified victim is. hm. bad. That’s all I’ll say about that one.)

{ANOTHER sidenote, this one for fan artists in particular but fan writers definitely aren’t free from sin: Cas isn’t pale or short and he isn’t a fuckin twink pls stop projecting weird m/f stereotypes onto your queer ships pls and thank}

ANYWAY about these screenshots specifically: Listen I love this post but the context of these scenes is SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING than Cas being a dick to Sam. They aren’t really about Sam at all, actually. “Don’t ask stupid questions” is such a painful fucking response to Sam asking if he’s okay, because he’s clearly not okay--he’s still struggling with the knowledge that God has given up and abandoned them--but he can’t be vulnerable about it. So he redirects to ask what Sam needs from him because that’s what he does, it’s what he is, he’s a tool. He’s a solution to problems (except his own). And his unwillingness to confront his pain (while also not being able to hide it) isn’t really about his relationship with Sam, it’s about his relationship with God and with himself and his own failures. The visibility of that struggle while he continues to try to help in this episode is just really fucking moving, okay?

Also there’s absolutely nothing hostile about “Sam, of course, is an abomination” in context. Like. Not a damn thing. There’s a task that needs to be performed by a “servant of heaven,” and Cas is explaining why none of the three of them qualify, and we know he feels shame about the fact that HE doesn’t qualify by how he reacts later, calling himself a poor example of an angel. He’s as much an abomination as Sam is in this moment.

Actually you know what? Literally everything in these screenshots that gets interpreted as “Cas hates Sam” is 100% actually Cas hating himself. He hates Sam’s voice while he’s stuck using a human voice himself to communicate, through technology he’s hostile to because it’s limiting compared to angelic communication. He rejects Sam’s compassion because he doesn’t want to talk about his own weakness. He calls Sam an abomination in the same breath that he acknowledges that he isn’t a servant of heaven anymore, and with much less anger than when he later calls himself a poor example of an angel. He sees himself in Sam but he hates himself too much to use that as a point of connection and pushes away from it instead. (I’m not going to go on a shipper detour here but sastiel shippers....you know)

So Cas is angry and complicated and self-hating and yeah, it’s funny, but if you don’t respect those feelings and their complexity, maybe don’t try to write Cas or write about him. Maybe if you only like Cas when he’s making you laugh you don’t actually like Cas.

And this isn’t to be like...”writing fluffy shippy fic with Cas being sweet is bad” or whatever. That fills a need for some people, I get it. I’ve written fic where he’s sweet! There’s a difference between someone lovingly wrapping a character in a blanket and going “nice things will happen for you now” versus using that character for a reductive joke.

There’s also a difference between people who are actually carefully writing fic and people who are, yknow, tagging posts or circulating meme-like gifsets with this kind of commentary. Which, bc I don’t read fic as often anymore, tends to be the most common way anything like analysis of Cas reaches me. I do NOT recommend this method of engaging with fandom because it’s really the worst, unfunniest, most simplistic takes that get repeated over and over again (I would pay money to never see anyone call Sam “moose” or “sammy” again dear lord), and it obscures the actually really good work some folks are doing when they write these characters.

tl;dr 1. Cas is not a child and he is not stupid. 2. Cas doesn’t hate Sam but he DOES project onto him and it’s fascinating. 3. fandom wants to be transformative but bc of meme culture and the way tumblr works it can be painfully reductive and it’s exhausting

ps nb I haven’t watched a single episode since they killed Charlie off and I don’t know much about what happened after that lol. so don’t come at me “well actuallying” bc honestly I don’t care and bc canon has been a dumpster fire for years and all extended analysis of it including my own is really nonsense just by virtue of the source material being nonsense.

pps the showrunners are ABSOLUTELY complicit in this but I can’t. I just cannot get into that. I am too tired.

[twilightofthe]

So...about that Obitine Anidala rant. Also, you said something about how Sidious and Obi-Wan are foils. I would love it if you elaborate. (Also, I love your blog.)

Awwwww thank you anon!  I just be yelling on here!

*wheezes* okie doke!  Tho I stress that this won’t exactly be a rant because I adore Obitine and Anidala and rant kinda implies aggression towards them, this is more of just a long-ass ramble because while I love them, I don’t always love the way canon portrays them in the narrative, particularly in relationship to each other, because I often do not feel that what the show is trying to push us to think about them is accurate to how they actually act and come across.  Notably, the show attempts to draw comparisons to the two relationships that really don’t exist below surface level similarities.  Again, these are my own personal opinions, and in fact, I welcome discussion!  I truly do!  Please politely debate me on this if you disagree!

(god dammit it got long again, so long I’ll actually put ur Sidious and Obi Wan as foils part in a separate post)

I’ll get to why exactly the show compares the relationships very strangely in a moment, but first we gotta explore the reason why it does this in the first place, which is that the Clone Wars show has decided to make Obi Wan and Anakin narrative foils to one another.  Narrative foils, by the literary definition, are two characters that contrast one another.  They don’t have to be the protagonist and the antagonist, these characters can be on the same side, basically the thing is that they have “opposite” personalities where if one character is hot, the other is cold, if one character chooses to go right, the other will go left.  It’s usually used to show one character’s qualities as more favorable for the situation as opposed to anyone else’s.

TCW does this whenever they possibly can with Anakin and Obi Wan.  I get its reasoning behind it.  I do.  The reasoning is that while Anakin is supposed to be a main character, he makes questionable decisions quite often and for the kiddies watching, those decisions must be seen as Bad even if the hero does it, so they have Obi Wan, the unquestionable good guy, encounter the exact same scenarios Anakin makes his questionable decisions in, and then has Obi Wan make the Right(TM) decision to teach the kids a valuable lesson.  They turn Obi Wan into the voice of reason for the entire show, which turns basically almost everything Obi Wan and Anakin do into a constant competition in the narrative in a way the movies do not do (and I’ll get to the movies later).  I’m not saying it’s necessarily a bad thing, making them foils, but it’s definitely more of a show-only thing and it does it quite, quite often.

So yeah, TCW likes to compare Obi Wan and Anakin to the point that sometimes they try and use Obi Wan to diminish Anakin’s genuine trauma and struggles by going “well why didn’t you do it like THIS?” and I think that writing parallel plotlines for the purpose of shaming/criticism is kinda ://////, but that’s another rant for another day that again, if y’all wanna hear about, lmk

Anyway, the need to compare them absolutely made its way into their romantic relationships as well, as they acknowledge the similarities in the show, and Filoni and the crew explicitly compare the two relationships in interviews.

Basically my problem with how they try and draw said parallels can be boiled down to one quote by Filoni that a cursory Google search could not find but I know exists so y’all can take my word or not, that went along the lines of “Obi Wan and Satine are like Anakin and Padmé but better because they know how to stay unattached and let each other go.  They’re a success story.”  I disagreed with this quote so much it inspired me to write a whole-ass fic about it (Mutuals update: yes, it is coming soon, Darth Maul is just himself and therefore an utter pain in the ass to do a POV on and is fighting me like the bitchass he is)

My thesis that I will be arguing today is that while TCW tried to create Obitine as an Anidala parallel, they’re really not similar in the way the writers think they are.  Obitine is not a success story to Anidala, they’re a goddamn tragedy too; the real parallel to Anidala is that Obitine also ended in death and tears despite making all the “right” decisions instead of all the “wrong” ones, and that is what is sad about them.

Like, on the surface level?  Yeah, the crew-intended parallels are there.  A fancy politician and a Jedi get together after the Jedi is assigned as the politician’s bodyguard.  The first time they see each other in over a decade the guy’s first words are basically “damn girl you’re still hot”, there is Conflict(TM) and the choice to try and be together or stay yearningly apart because they are Forbidden(TM) to be together, and ultimately a Sith Lord fucks them both over because he’s obsessed with the Jedi and uses Politician Lady to his advantage, finds and exploits a vulnerability of hers, destroys her life’s work, and then lets her die to make Jedi Man sad.  The difference is all that one pair said “yeah we aren’t gonna break the rules to be together” and the other said “fuck it yeah we are, let’s do this”

But beneath all of that, they real similarities are different and not at all focused on by the narrative.  Obi Wan and Anakin are extremely different people, as are Padmé and Satine, so their relationship dynamics together will not be the same.  You want to try and compare Obi Wan and Anakin and then compare Satine and Padmé like the crew attempts to, and you can’t, they have the same job but not nearly the same life.  Namely, the funny coincidence is that Obi Wan and Padmé are much more similar in personality, while Anakin and Satine are also much more similar in personality, so the first time they meet again, it’s both Anakin and Satine as the one who’s been pining for over a decade and the one more actively pursuing the relationship, while Obi Wan and Padmé who are more like “uh, hi, wow, you’re hot and this is a Problem because I have a job to do pls don’t look at me like that but also I will Cause Problems On Purpose and flirt with you anyway because I can’t help it”.  I get the Corruption TCW ep with Sati and Pads was mostly intended just to help Satine pass the Bechdel test and also show how similar the two leading lady love interests are, but it was a genuinely creative episode that actually ended up showing how much Satine and Padmé compliment each other instead of mirroring each other, much like Obi Wan and Anakin do.

And, onto my next point, despite the character parallels being wrong, the parallels in the relationship are different too.  Like I said, the parallel isn’t that Obi Wan and Satine aren’t attached like Anakin and Padmé are.  The parallel is that Obitine is actively running from what that attachment means instead of embracing it like Anidala is.  The show would argue that since they try to avoid it, that they are able to live without one another, means they aren’t attached like the Jedi define it, but I argue that they definitely still are attached to a degree because they cannot give each other up.  They held torches for each other from a timerange of 15 YEARS.  Yes I know they spent an entire year together at a young and emotionally volatile point in their lives, but I stand that NO ONE is that hung up on their ex for that long unless there is some serious emotions involved.  Anakin was hung up on Padmé for ten years, and that was because Palpatine was constantly bolstering those affections and reminding him of Padmé.  Obes and Sati both-- or at least Satine, the show always makes Obi Wan’s feelings for Satine in return much more vague --held on to their feelings for five years longer without the influence of a Sith Lord.

And the thing is, they know it.  Obi Wan and Satine are both fully aware that they haven’t been able to shake each other off like they should and that that is a Problem, that’s why they’re both a mite venomous with each other beneath the flirting at first, they’re both extremely frustrated with themselves for not being able to get over this thing they have, and frustrated with the other for being there as an active temptation.

And yet, they still are attached to each other.  They try to avoid it, they definitely try, and that’s what makes them different from Anidala, but they are definitely still attached.  You can see it in Obi Wan’s actions in Voyage of Temptation when Merrik is threatening to blow the ship, the way he hesitates in attacking him because that would be “striking an unarmed man”.  Obi Wan Kenobi does not prefer violence, no, but he has never hesitated to cut a bitch before if it’s for the good of the many.  This is the man who stabbed someone with a fork and threatened to eat him just to maintain his cover as a dangerous criminal.  This is the guy who had no problem killing Zam Wessel for information to protect Padmé.  This is a pragmatist who prefers peaceful solutions, but he does not hesitate if he feels it is a justified offense.  But this time, when an entire shipful of people is at risk, Obi Wan hesitates.  Because he doesn’t want to upset Satine.  Because he’s probably thinking on how she told him that if he had killed the last terrorist they encountered, she wouldn’t speak to him, how she had criticized every time he used violence to escape Death Watch before.  He hesitates because he’s putting her happiness, just for a second, over the sake of duty.  Do I think that if Anakin hadn’t shown up to save their moral compasses, Obi Wan would have eventually taken out Merrik?  Absolutely; hell, I honestly think Satine might have done it.

But the matter was, Merrik could have pressed the kill switch any second of Obi Wan’s hesitation, and Obi Wan knew that, and was hesitating anyway.

I am calling this attachment solely because if the situation was reversed, if this was Anakin and Padmé in this situation, with Anakin not taking out a dangerous criminal because he doesn’t want to upset Padmé (lol ignoring the fact that Pads 1000% would have shot that bitch, and even if she didn’t, Anakin would because he is perfectly fine with hurting his loved ones’ feelings if he feels it’ll keep them safe), god, the narrative would have eaten Anakin alive.  

No, I won’t take criticism.  I know how the show handles the Anidala dynamic.  It would have shown Obi Wan popping up to take out the baddie as him doing the right thing and saving the day, and then Anakin would have been shamed for letting his feelings for his wife get in the way of protecting a shipful of people.  THAT would be the Vader foreshadowing, none of this “only a cold-blooded killer” shit, no way would they ever stick that label on Obi Wan.

So yeah, I’m going off of the fact that if that would have been classified as attachment for Anidala-- which, it would, then. it counts for Obitine.

And then Obi Wan and Satine continue to be hung up on each other for the rest of the eps they’re in, Satine saying in words multiple times how much she loves and cares about him and wishes things could be different, and Obi Wan performing it in actions, risking his own neck and political standing to help her even when she’s a fugitive, probably personally putting in to send his own grandpadawan to help her later.  Right up to the time when Satine decides that she is going to call Obi Wan when she is deposed.  Not the Senate.  Not any powerful politician friends.  Not even the Jedi Order or the Council as a whole.  She calls and addresses her distress call to Obi Wan alone.  And Obi Wan, as now revealed to us by TCW S7, defies Council orders and breaks a century old neutrality treaty to try and bust her, a convicted murderer in the eyes of the Republic and Mandalore, out.  He didn’t even know Maul had her.  Just knew she was in danger and came running to her aid.  He risks starting a potential war to come save her.  They acted so in love that Vizsla was able to guess from being around them for like five seconds, and was able to tell Maul exactly who he would need to bait Obi Wan.

That is where the attachment comes from.  It’s the fact that Obi Wan and Satine tried so, so hard to give each other up and do the right thing, but when it came down to it, they couldn’t lose the other one so they put them first when logically they shouldn’t.  And thus, Satine ended up dead.

Now I know most people will argue with me that actually Filoni means that since they didn’t stay together after the year on the run, THAT is what makes them able to give each other up, and also the fact that Obi Wan didn’t go dark side and murder everyone when Satine died.

But I still think that at least the murder front is a fairly low bar to cross, and anyway, that just because they could live without each other didn’t mean they weren’t still attached.  Anakin and Padmé were apart for 10 years and then even after that, they were apart almost constantly during the war.  Just because they could live apart or even past the other’s death didn’t mean they weren’t attached, as they both still had not let the other go mentally and also broke rules to try and ensure the other would not die, even if the rules said they should let it happen.

So yeah, that’s my big theory.  We can’t compare Obitine with Anidala by saying Obitine was a success story, we compare them by acknowledging that both struggled with attachments and letting the other go, but Obitine at least tried to the bitter end to do the right thing while Anidala didn’t really bother, and both ended up with dead women and broken men regardless, and that is the true sad parallel to me.

[god-fucking-dammit-mizutani]

What are some of your favorite things about Taishiro?

I was about 2K in when I realized this could have simply been a short list but since I’m the Queen of Not Shutting TF Up, here’s some terribly rambly not-quite-meta:

1. Their characters! I really think as separate characters they’re really fun to sit down with and just consider what makes them tick. It’s been years since I dipped my toes back into the fandom and I have honestly never been bored of them. I love a lot about the other characters of course, but there’s something about Taichi and Koushirou and their stories and their growth and development that feels — I don’t know, timeless? To me, at least. I also just think Koushirou’s arc is Really Important in general, but that’s for another time. I also love the way they interact in the canon and how their personalities kind of work with each other which leads me to:

2. Their Dynamic! It’s easy to say they’re the quintessential Lovable Jock and Nerd archetypes, but overall I think one of the biggest appeals to me is how they don’t really fall back on typical tropes too much and they honestly compliment each other as characters rather than contrast. I think in the digital world specifically they were both on equal footing— they were both pretty important exactly for the reasons that made them different. Taichi was a people person, so he led them. He was a go-getter so he fought with raw power and heart. Koushirou was a thinker, a planner, and so he used his skills and knowledge to unlock secrets, to get them home, to understand their circumstances more. It could have led to a lot more fighting and shrugging each other off to see which side worked better: brawn or brains. Not to say they didn’t have squabbles, but the above was never really the exact conflict in itself iirc? There were quite a few times Taichi had to lean back on Koushirou’s skills and ask him for help, and there were plenty of times most of the kids relied on Taichi and Agumon’s strength— but that didn’t mean Koushirou shied away from fighting either (let’s not talk about the clown episodes pls). They fill in for each other’s weaknesses and I think that’s both in the digital world and just their relationship overall. Koushirou is more calm, more collected and strategic, more of a listener, and Taichi is the more brash, the more emotional one for better or worse, sometimes more optimistic to Koushirou’s realism, which I think evens out in some way. This also kind of feeds into how I feel that:

3. They better each other! Taichi has a bit of an impulsivity issue with a yo-yoing icarus complex. His heart is always in the right place, I believe, but sometimes his action takes precedent or he gets swept up or overwhelmed to the point of frustration-- which I think is where we see his occasional outbursts of anger or complete dejection. Personally I think he needs someone steady; more reasonable to even him out when things get too much. There’s a scene in the novels about the Nanomon part where Sora even thinks as much: “If Taichi didn’t have at least one person around to scold him and shake him up, he would never get back on his feet.” She thinks she’s the only who fits the bill in this particular scene at least (her attempt doesn’t work but overall I agree she’s a really steadying presence for Taichi, too), but I do also personally think it also spells out Koushirou fairly well. One thing I’ve kind of noticed, and it might just be my own poor interpretation/memory or something idk, is that he never really feeds too much into Taichi’s anger. He might be some part of the cause or the receiver of his frustration at times, but he doesn’t feed it back with the same level of anger and fists and I think that helps Taichi a lot. Most of the time Taichi seems to understand what he did wrong right after losing his temper, apologizes, lets out some of his frustration through venting maybe, and then they feel like they move on. Koushirou doesn’t throw it back in his face, but he doesn’t necessarily openly excuse it either (usually appearing more Stern I guess when speaking back), and Taichi doesn’t come off like he’s been secretly agitated by Koushirou for five hundred years— like it generally seems just a product of the time, like it stemmed from outside frustrations and internal struggles and they find a way to move on. And even with all the respect he shows towards Taichi, I don’t think Koushirou is blinded by it. For all his issues with people and believing he can’t know them without knowing himself, I think Koushirou is actually pretty good at reading people to a certain degree (maybe not all of their cues, but definitely them on a core basis). There’s a scene in the novels where Yamato tries to vy for the leadership position, telling Taichi he’s too soft-hearted, and Koushirou jumps up immediately to Shut It Down, specifically saying he won’t recognize anyone else but Taichi. Surprised by this, Yamato tries to spin it as Koushirou just being one of “Taichi’s fans”, to which he also Shuts That The Fuck Down with an accurate description of why Yamato could never replace Taichi (spoiler: it’s that he’s too emotional and Yamato concedes because he can’t argue lmao). There’s a specific line in that scene which says Koushirou, “wasn’t speaking out of loyalty to any one party,” so I think the point of it all is that, objectively, Koushirou believes Taichi is the best leader solely because of his qualities and not just because of Koushirou’s own personal biases. He’s loyal to Taichi because he knows him, trusts him, and believes in him as a person (and he’s so right to). I really don’t think it’s some sort of hero worship-- I think Koushirou can look at Taichi and see all the cracks in his armor, but instead of hollow space he sees potential; he sees the pieces welded together with gold and all the good Taichi wants to do, can do, will do, and Koushirou is willing to support him, which sometimes means telling Taichi when he’s faltered along the path and not just going along with it. I just think this is a pretty profound thing from a character who spends a lot of time distancing himself from others, including his parents up until the episode they hash things out. Essentially I think he wants the best for Taichi and he’s not going to pull the proverbial punches when needed, and I think that’s good for Taichi on an emotional level sometimes. Like his mellow compliment. He respects Taichi, and the thing is, I feel like Taichi respects him in kind. I know there’s a scene where Koushirou gets mad at him and Taichi is like, “No please don’t be,” in 02 but I’m drawing a blank as to the why right now (it’s been longer since I rewatched that than 01 haha)… but it’s a very big difference imho on how Taichi reacts to other people being angry at him. Like, he doesn’t want to disappoint Koushirou, like his opinion of Taichi matters to him. I think Hikari falls into this, too, and Sora probably, but just not the point of this post. But in general Taichi realizes Koushirou’s strengths and utilizes them. The biggest example is when they try to open the gate and Taichi asks Koushirou for his opinion on how to place the cards. This flusters Koushirou because he’s not exactly an attention seeker. Nothing he has done in the series has been towards the goal of recognition-- just simply knowledge. And Taichi knows this. He knows Koushirou is smart and lifts him up and literally tells him he’s important and the group openly agrees (here’s also how the manhwa interpreted it lmao). It is so much more blatant in the 2020!Digimon series lmao but I do think it’s sprinkled in the OG series, too, with the kids being a little less overt and little more Complicated regarding these kinds of interactions. Also on the subject of bettering each other, Taichi is the sole reason Koushirou decides to go to the camp in the first place. This is something that used to be explored in a looott of fics back in the Hay Day but essentially my point here is: Taichi is someone who will bring Koushirou out of his comfort zone, but I don’t think he’d actually intend or suggest something that would bring him discomfort. The camp itself is very blatantly not Koushirou’s Scene, but we know he doesn’t make decisions lightly. He doesn’t do it to advance his social skills, either. He does it because Taichi asked him to and he trusts Taichi enough to have his best interests at heart and I think it does in some way lend to Koushirou coming out of his shell overall. But again, that could just be me  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

4. They trust each other! I went through a lot of that above I think so I don’t have more to add at the moment, but it’s worth pointing out specifically.

5. They’re also not Perfect! Sounds counter intuitive from everything else I’ve said, but it’s true?? It makes thinking about their dynamic really interesting and fun to explore because they feel more like real people with flaws and their relationships with each other and others have flaws and I just love when shows can do that?? Like just give subtle enough nuances to characters and their relationships so they just feel more realistic— like you could meet another person like any of them off the street?? I digresssss. But more specifically for taishirou it makes wanting to explore their relationship more interesting— what would happen in this one scenario? What is it like when they grow older? I think for instance communication is probably an issue of sorts between them for a while. I can’t come up with the words for it right now and there’s been better stated meta before haha, but I do especially think that Koushirou would have a hard time opening up on a more emotional level for some years and Taichi would eventually begin to see that in some way as rejection until he felt the need to say/do something about it. Like I think, accidentally, Koushirou keeps some of his walls up and maybe while Taichi’s scaled most of them effortlessly, there’s like a glass left that if they’re not trying to see it, almost looks like it’s not there. If that makes sense? But this isn’t something I think is permanent, because I think there’s a section in the novels, too, where Taichi is elated that Koushirou speaks openly and honestly with him, something like, “It made me happy you spoke so casually to me, like you opened your heart to me.” So I think in a matter of time Koushirou would open up more, it’s just hard because he struggles with a lot of self worth and just… existential dread—this child I swear??? But I’m very interested in considering how they grow more, grow into each other, the way they’d learn to work better together not only on saving the world, but I don’t know like, splitting up the chores. Better people have put better words together, but I tried…!

6. Friendship is a wonderful basis for a romantic relationship! It doesn’t have to be the basis of every ship/relationship, but I think it’s a grand thing to forge as a foundation and merged with everything above just makes it better to me. They can be best friends and lovers haha. Also just childhood friends into lovers is still a good trope, yes, thank you. But, I do also love their friendship just as friendship. Again, I just really love their dynamic on the whole—I just also really love them being in love lmao.

7. They fit a “Quiet, but profound” love kind of feeling for me and it will be my end! Again this is personal interpretation, but the way I kind of feel about them is that they’re this very quiet sort of love. Like it’s There and it’s grand, but it’s not as loud as some others might be. It’s small smiles and the brush of their hands, it’s the silent, “Are you alright?” It’s dinner reheated and left by the computer; a small neck massage because Taichi sees the way Koushirou’s scrunching his eyebrows together and that means he’s going to get a headache. It’s Koushirou deciding to buy expensive tickets for a soccer match, not because he’s dying to go, but because he wants to enjoy something with Taichi that he enjoys and it’s worth the pretty penny (still not over this being technically canon). It’s the quiet stare when Taichi comes home and everything’s overwhelming and Koushirou just knows he needs to talk it out, for someone to listen. It’s looking at the other person, knowing them, seeing all the cracks and thinking, “I want to wake up to this every morning.” It’s a gradual thing, but it’s also a built thing. Years of self discovery and growth, of being at each other’s side, of integrating into each other’s lives so that it’s just all natural. Years of mutual pining. Because I’m human and I need this.

8. They fit this quote and it fucks me up: 

Obviously none of this is to down play the enormous help that Agumon and Tentomon were to their respective growth. I also think the rest of the cast is wonderful and unique in their own way. Like I think Yamato pushes Taichi to Do Better in his own way, is the perfect foil, but also friend who much later on kind of Gets Him on a level others don’t necessarily, you know?? I honestly Love Them All So Much,  I just…. feel like I need to point that out haha. But there is something special in the Taichi/Koushirou dynamic that has kept me invested for over a decade and I’m terrible at the meta/word thing but these are definitely some of the things I love about the ship.

[miss-tc-nova]

Bad Game of Chicken - Xehanort x Fem!Reader Pt 2

Trying to pace myself on this one while trying to hurry and get it done...It’s not working well but oh well. Things are still kind of winding down from my crazy life so I’m finding it difficult to find time to write fics I’m proud of right now, but I’m not gonna stop. Writing is my favorite thing so I can’t give it up. I just keep learning to get better. Sorry, anyway, enjoy the second chapter. 

~~~~~

Part 2: Brinkmanship

Pushing dangerous events to the brink of conflict to gain the upper hand.

~~~~~

              My whole body jerks and I snap awake. The room is still for a moment until I hear a voice.

              “Hey, wake up or you’re gonna be late.”

              Hair gets shoved out of my face and feet stumble towards the door. On the other side stands the current bane of my existence. “Xehanort?”

              A corner of his mouth pulls back and suddenly there’s a pair of fingers pinching at my cheek. “There’s my sleepy-headed girl.”

              I swat the hand away. “What are you doing?”

              “Being a good boyfriend. Isn’t your alarm still broken?” Even if he wears that helpful smile—the one causing strange looks from our classmates behind him—I see the glint of the game in his eyes.

              A deep breath allows me to pull my head together. “You’re right. Thank you, Xe.”

              A silver brow arches, ignored in favor of invading the bathroom. Doing better than yesterday’s mishap, I head back towards my room to see my opponent leaning by my door. “Is the princess ready to go yet or not?”

              He earns a glance as I pass. “That really is a terrible pet name.”

              A chuckle ripples through him. “Would you rather I call you babe?” Eyes roll but there’s a warm feeling weaving in my stomach. Xehanort puts his hand to his chin. “I am rather fond of the term doll.”

              “We could bypass the terms of endearment and you could just call me by my name,” I not-so-subtly suggest, grabbing my bag.

              “Not nearly as fun,” he replies, leaning closer. “Besides, I know it’s killing you inside.”

              It’s a contemptuous sigh. “Rude, but fine; two can play that game, sugar.”

              He waits for me to collect my things so the two of us can head down to the cafeteria together. Having someone wait on me is disconcerting, so I don’t keep him waiting long, but it gets worse on our way to breakfast.

              Insides seize up when my foot falls farther than it should. Instinct kicks in and I reach for the nearest support: Xehanort. He’s got enough sense about him at least not to let me drag us both down the stairs.

              “If you wanted me to hold your hand, all you had to do was say,” the competition mocks.

              Feet steady, I reply. “As if I need you to hold my hand.”

              Suddenly my face is on fire; fingers adjust and fall between us, intertwined. Skin crawls beneath that vainglorious look. “Oh really? You don’t like this?”

              This is the worst game of chicken. If there were a score board, he’d have all the points while I’m struggling to keep from the negatives. Worst of all, I honestly can’t object to the feelings of a hand holding mine—only that it’s his hand.

              “It’s like having a big parasite,” I tease, shaking our hands.

              “Hold on, I’m the parasite? Pretty sure you’re the one who grabbed onto me.”

              “Quit complaining and let’s go before they run out of muffins.”

              The young man lets me lead him along by the hand. “Just steal Eraqus’s when he’s not looking. That’s what I do.”

              “Is that why he always comes to class confused on Fridays?”

              “Every time.”

              The bewilderment is instantaneous. One step into the cafeteria and our classmates turn into gawkers. Xehanort gives them a wave and I want to smack him. Their stares eat away at my fortitude while I collect breakfast. I suppose I should’ve known better than to think the opposition wouldn’t sit beside me.

              Urd starts the awkwardness. “Uh…hey guys.”

              “Morning,” I chime, stirring oats; I missed the muffins.

              “Are you feeling alright this morning?”

              I know what they’re talking about, but part of the game is not to let anyone else know it is one. “Yeah. My stupid alarm is still broken though.”

              A muffin plops in front of me. “There you go, doll.”

              The damn muffin—not only is it from Xehanort’s smug ass but it’s Eraqus’s. I’d like to shove it down his throat and he knows that.

              Putting all the sugar in my body into my voice, I pick up the muffin. “Sugar, you really should stop taking advantage of your friends.”

              Reaching across him, I replace the baked-good in front of Eraqus. Glares turn on his best friend. “You said it was Bragi taking my muffins!”

  ��           The red-head sits up. “You what now?!”

              A corner of Xehanort’s mouth pulls back in a deadpan expression—his schmoozing has gotten him into trouble.

              “Don’t be too mad, Era. I guess it’s my fault for saying I wanted a muffin this morning.” I pat at Xehanort’s back with a falsely-pure smile. Mildly hilarious are the looks of discomfort, even if I’m dreading this competition.

              Now class turns into something complicated. On one hand, I don’t really have to worry about Xehanort going after me and class goes by smoothly; on the other hand, the thought that we’re playing this stupid game keeps popping up to pester me.

              And then keyblade training comes around. Master Odin shows us the technique and then sends us off to partner up and practice.

              “Hey there, doll.”

              Stretches are interrupted by Xehanort. “What’s up, sugar?” It’s strange having to put effort into keeping the instinctual malice from my voice, but I do enjoy the wince at my pet name.

              “Pair up?”

              “What about Eraqus?”

              “He’ll be fine. Square up, or are you afraid we’ll get in trouble again?” Silver brows bounce at me.

              Knowing that the eyes of our classmates, and our teacher, are on us, I smile. “Well you are a troublemaker, but it’s not like things could get any worse,” I hum, sticking my tongue out at him with a wink. “You wanna go first or shall I?”

              He waves his hand with a smile. “Ladies first.”

              Shaky about covers the bases for my first attempt, but that simper motivates a better performance the second time. Still, it takes a few tries before it’s perfected and I put Xehanort on his ass.

              “You alright there, sugar?” I coo as he gets up.

              “Not bad. Now you think you got enough practice or does the princess need a few more tries to get it perfect?”

              “No no, I got it. Show me what you got,” I answer, waving him on cheekily.

              Something in that smirk feels different than his usual challenge. It’s somehow exciting and off putting at the same time.

              Xehanort’s attempts go pretty much like my own, needing only a few tries to get the technique down, and we move into a more practical application. There’s no doubt the Master is still watching us closely but our contest lies outside this sparring match; so there won’t be any serious situations today.

              Diverting Xehanort’s keyblade, I swipe a foot, successfully bringing him down.

              “Not bad,” he huffs. Traces of the familiar Xehanort play in his expression; he hates losing and I’m just a hair ahead of him.

              Having given myself some distance, I let my pride show. “I know.”

              Confidence falters when his annoyance is replaced by some sort of enthusiasm.

              In the next moment, metal screeches against metal. Dirt scrapes beneath my feet against his strength. Teeth grit while I strain to push back against him. Silver eyes sit mere inches away, gleaming with an excitement I might commend if I weren’t fending him off.

              Then my mind shuts down. Next thing I know, I’m rolling across the dirt. Sitting up, I clamp my eyes shut and my jaw clenches. Heat coursing through my veins is threatening to set me ablaze. The spot on the very tip of my nose tingles, being the origin of my fire. I must be imagining it—there’s no way he really did that. Xehanort did not just kiss my nose.

              I must be smoking when he starts to chuckle. Prying my gaze open, I glare up at that smarmy face. His eyes shine and I can’t believe I’m letting myself admire them in lieu of his trick.

              “Gotta stay focused, doll.”

~~~~~

Part 3

Nova’s Kingdom Hearts Masterlist

[jessikahathaway]

~ Check in Tag ~

Thank you to @ladyartemesia for tagging me. Vi, you are such a lovely lady tagging lil ole meee.

WHY DID YOU CHOOSE YOUR URL?

You know that game? That tells you what your pornstar name is?? Yeah... That's how we got here lol.

ANY SIDEBLOGS? IF YOU DO NAME THEM AND WHY DO YOU HAVE THEM?

Um, nope. No side blogs here. Just me ;)

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN ON TUMBLR?

To be honest, I have no idea. I had one a wayyy long time ago in high school but I don't even remember the login or the URL for it. If I put my best guess forward I'd say around 2016-2017???

DO YOU HAVE A QUEUE TAG?

Nopppeeee. But should I make one tho???

WHY DID YOU START YOUR BLOG?

I've always loved fandom culture and writing. So I wanted a place to share my writing. I started back writing anime fanfic and yes is cringy pls don't remind me. There are plenty of people who write it well but I discovered BTS fanfic was a thing (should've know but I live under a rock tbh) and started writing that too!

WHY DID YOU CHOOSE YOUR ICON?

Honestly my friend sent it to me and I laughed for a good twenty minutes before making the decision.

I laugh every time I see it tbh.

WHY DID YOU CHOOSE YOUR HEADER?

Well I have the mobile one and the blog one.

Blog one for aesthetics and the mobile one because those idiots make me smile every time.

WHAT YOUR POST WITH THE MOST NOTES?

I think it's Vanilla Ice Cream or Cornfields.

[Both of these are Yoongi fics I applaud my readers :')]

HOW MANY MUTUALS DO YOU HAVE?

I don't know, but I love them dearly :')

HOW MANY FOLLOWERS DO YOU HAVE?

Almost 3k! (Am shocked tbh but thanks for being here!)

HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU FOLLOW?

428

HOW OFTEN ARE YOU ON TUMBLR?

Far too often tbh. I'm always lurking on here lol.

HAVE YOU EVER HAD A FIGHT/ARGUMENT WITH ANOTHER BLOG ON THE PLATFORM?

If I have it was so long ago that I don't remember. I hope not!

I don't like conflict so I avoid it at all costs.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT 'YOU NEED TO REBLOG THIS' POSTS?

Honestly I think they're really ridiculous.

DO YOU LIKE TAG GAMES?

I mean yes? I rarely get tagged in stuff so it's always nice when people want me to play along!

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HOOOMYGOSH yes i do. Please send me asks I love talking to you guys and playing games!

WHICH OF YOUR MUTUALS DO YOU THINK IS TUMBLR FAMOUS?

Idk, i feel like tumblr fame is quite a weird concept if you think about it. But I love seeing my mutuals doing well and getting a lot of attention and interaction! They deserve itttt.

DO I HAVE A CRUSH ON A MUTUAL?

I mean, not romantically. But you best believe I love my moots to the end.

TAGS?

ANYONE WHO WANTS TO PLAY! SAY I TAGGED YOU CAUSE IF YOU WANNA PLAY YOU SHOULD!!

THANK YOU TO ANYONE WHO READ THIS MESS, I LOVE YOUUUU.BTS

[swellwriting]

Hopelessly Devoted

Fandom: Harry Potter (Marauder Era)

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Request: From @theseuscmander​ : putting in a formal request because I only said this through the discord group chat but can I get an angsty James potter fic based off the song ‘hopelessly devoted to you’ you can decide if the ending is fluffy or just sad lmao but pls

Warnings: None

A/N: THIS was supposed to be James fic but I fucked up, I think I was also a bit too obvious about my crush on Lily Evans...ignore my apparent gushing over her perfection.

Word Count: 6k

Lily Evans, even her name sounded beautiful, so much as her vibrant red hair, her freckled cheeks and kind heart. One of the smartest and hardest working girls in your year. A brave Gryffindor, she looked good in the bold coloured clothes she adorned, red fabric complimenting her rosy cheeks and sparkling eyes.

If anyone knew what you thought of Lily Evans they would assume you had a crush on her. Instead, your heart is stuck on the boy on the other side of the room, staring at her just as intently as you are.

You don't stare at her with hatred burning behind your eyes or jealousy in your veins, you stare at her with the same adoration that James does.

For what does she have that you don't, what makes her seem so perfect, ethereal. And how could you ever expect to achieve that? To stand out when your competition is her.

To say it’s a competition is actually a joke when you think about it because there isn’t one, she has already won, even if she doesn't choose to rejoice in her victory. The owner of James Potter’s heart, yet she holds it so carelessly, wishes she could throw it away, acts like she is burdened by it. 

The audacity, the one thing you don't like about Lily is that she doesn't appreciate James for who he is, she doesn't even give him a chance. If she knew him as you did, the real him, the one that’s grown far past the brat of past years. She would feel the same tightening in her chest when his skin brushed hers, as you did, her heartbeat would be loud in her ears when he spoke her name. She would close her eye and see his bright smile and hear his stupid contagious laugh just like you do, like you’re cursed with every night as you lay in bed and think about him.

It’s not fair really. She has it all. Well, no one’s life is perfect but she has those cool girlfriends you wish you had, she has long pretty hair and this look that’s purely her own. You wish you could be her for countless reasons. 

A hand brushes your shoulder taking you out of your thoughts as you watch the girls leave the classroom in the giggly group, going to do whatever girls like them do. You turn to face Sirius who has grabbed your books for you already and is gesturing towards the other boys who are walking out the door.

“Let’s go, unless you enjoy History of Magic so much you can’t bear to leave!” He jokes and you laugh lightly hitting his arm and following him out the door.

The boys fall into quick conversation and you tune them out trying to listen to the girls talking ahead of you.

Marlene is gushing about some Ravenclaw boy who was flirting with her last night, they have their arms intertwined as they walk, a peppy skip to their steps.

It’s not that you don't enjoy being friends with the Marauders, but you wished you had some girlfriends too. It’d be nice to be able to talk to someone about your crush on James, someone who could talk sense into you, or give you any advice.

“Is there a reason you are both staring down Lily Evans like that?” Remus asks when he notices you and James are both silent staring ahead in a trance at the redhead as she bounces down the hallway.

“I think maybe Y/n has a crush on Lily too,” Sirius jokes and you roll your eyes.

“Nah, Y/n is a good friend, she would never steal my girlfriend.” James teases and wraps an arm around your shoulders, playfully pulling you against him as you walk down the hallway.

“In your dreams Prongs,” Peter yells with a bountiful laugh and you try to laugh along, force a fake giggle past your lips. Try not to bring any attention to you, or your hot and awkward face.

Trying to act like your heart didn’t crack from hearing those words. Calling you a friend and Lily his girlfriend all in one sentence.

Even if he wasn’t interested in Lily you are sure he would still be stuck viewing you only as a friend, another Marauder, nothing more nothing less.

“She will be soon, I'm asking her to Hogsmeade this weekend!” James announces proudly and your heart stops.

“Yeah because that’s worked so well before,” Remus jabs.

“She has to say yes eventually, it’s our last year here, she’s about to miss her chances with me.”

“I think she may be thankful for that,” Remus counters.

He’s asked her out before, and you just have to hope that she says no again. But James is different this year, he’s matured a lot and if you noticed then Lily will soon notice to. It sounds like a bad thing to say about a friend, but you hope she says no, you hope that he messes it up like he usually does.

-

You have Advanced Arithmancy Studies this year with Remus, a class you both regret taking but you always do all of the homework and studying together to make it easier.

The library is pretty vacant and you Remus are studying in a far empty corner. Sirius is sat beside you, not studying but keeping you both company, and possibly keeping you from going mad as well. His lighthearted jokes and easygoing attitude are quite calming to have around.

“I just read this page over and over again and nothing retains, it’s like it’s not even English,” you complain.

Remus flips his book to you, his page is marked lightly with a pencil, “read it in sections like this, makes it easier to...digest.”

“We are eating our books now?” Sirius makes the dumb joke and moves closer to you, reading the page at the same time as if he could help you understand it.

You read a few lines in before Sirius’ joke makes its way to your tired mind and you let out a laugh, muffle it behind your hands then rest your forehead on the wooden table in defeat.

“I'm done for today, I've given up,” You say a moment later, sitting back up and closing your books, still bringing a hand to your forehead.

“You’re done studying but you still look just as stressed,” Remus asks, still writing notes, looking up and down between you and the page in front of him.

Your silent for a moment, not sure if you want to reveal your plan to your friends, shock them with the revelation of your feelings towards your friend. But it’s like jumping into a pool you know is cold, it’s easier if you do it all at once, quickly, so you spit out the words before your brain can stop you.

“I'm going to ask James to Hogsmeade,” you blurt out and both boys look at you with confused expressions.

“He’s asking Lily is he not?” Remus asks, concern evident in his voice.

“Not if I ask him first!” You say confidently, though it’s all a facade.

“Why would you do that?” Remus asks again, clearly not understanding what you’re implying.

“Because I’ve been in love with him since second year?” You say like a question, a nervous pitch to your voice.

“No, you haven’t,” Sirus says like it’s a matter of fact as if he doesn't want to believe it.

“What? Yes, I have, just because I hadn’t told anyone doesn't mean I have not had a stupid crush on him for years,” you argue.

“I sort of see it now,” Remus says tilting his head like he’s looking into his memories for clues.

“Obviously I hid my feelings out of fear of ruining our friendship because you guys are my only friends. I wouldn't wanna make things weird between me and James and then lose you guys in the process. But I also don't wanna regret never acting on my feelings before it’s too late.”

“Well you would never lose us, James wouldn't stop being your friend over something so trivial either,” Remus assures you with his warm smile.

Sirius is sat beside you in silence until Remus looks over to him, arching a brow as if to tell him to encourage you but he can’t bring himself to.

“He will say no?” Sirius says and you’re taken aback.

“You don’t know that,” you say sadly, hurt by his words and reaction you didn’t expect.

“He is in love with Lily, he’s obsessed with her,” Sirius says and there is a bite to his voice, a harshness you’re not used to from him.

“Maybe he will see that someone else has feelings for him and it will change his mind, and he needs to move on from Lily anyways. Y/n is beautiful and knows James so well already I think they would be very cute together.” Remus defends, giving this knowing look to Sirius who just stands up abruptly and walks away with his shoulders slumped.

“Maybe I shouldn’t ask James out,” you say to Remus watching Sirius leave.

“Don't let Sirius stop you from doing something your heart is telling you to do.”

“But if Sirius is so upset by it maybe I shouldn’t. I can’t tell if he’s mad because he truly thinks James will say no and doesn't wanna see me hurt. Or maybe he thinks I’m not good enough for James.” You admit sadly, your heart aching at the conflict, you thought Remus and Sirius were good people to talk to. If you had to choose only one of them you would have chosen Sirius. 

He is usually so understanding and nice towards you. He has so much experience with girls too, you never stop him from going after a girl in fear that he might get hurt. Why was he being like this to you?

“Just ignore Sirius for right now, if he wants to get over himself and stop being emotional he will come to talk to you, until then, I think James should be leaving the Quiddich pitch anytime now,” he says with an encouraging wave of his hands. and you smile at him, pulling your bag over your shoulder and then leaning down to grab Remus’ hands.

“Thanks, Rem, you’re a really good friend.”

“No problem, if you need a shoulder to cry on, or to celebrate with, you know where to find me,” he says before diving back into his notes.

You find James right where Remus said he would be, leaving the Quidditch change rooms outside the pitch, hair damp from a shower, smelling like mint from his soap.

“Hey, Padfoot!” You say, a bit out of breath.

“Hey, Vix!” He mimics you, using your given nickname since your Animagus was a fox and a female fox is a vixen...so Vix. You really need better less obvious nicknames for your group.

“I have a question,” you say, now more timid, feeling your cheeks heat up and nerves prickle up your spine.

“Shoot!” He says and he has this big goofy smile that you can’t help but love. You might as well be looking at him right now with literal hearts in your eyes.

You take a deep breath and let the words fly out. “Do you wanna go to Hogsmeade, this weekend...with me?”

His smile doesn't falter as he quickly replies, “I told you I was going to ask Lily to Hogsmeade this weekend didn’t I?” He looks clueless about what you’re saying.

“You did, but I thought maybe...you and... I could go?”

“Well, Remus and Peter have essays to work on, so the rest of our friends couldn’t go anyways. We can all go next weekend if you want. If you can make your Honeydukes stash last until then,” he teases and then ruffles your already messy hair as he walks past you.

You stand still, frozen in place. He didn’t really turn you down, but he sort of friend-zoned you… he didn’t understand the weight of your question, brushed you off, the idea of a date with you being so completely out of his mind he hadn’t even realized it was what you were asking.

You swallow your pride, bite your tongue to hold back the tears and bring a hand to your face.

James stops walking and turns around, “Vix? You coming? We are having a Gobstones tournament in the common room remember? If you’re late you won’t get your favourite colour.”

He’s so sweet and kind. You just wished he felt more for you. You wished he could love you the way you do him.

“Vix?” He says again, no hint that he has caught on in his voice, just fun and playful, you can hear in his voice that he’s still smiling from ear to ear behind you.

“I forgot my book in the stands the other day I just… I’ll meet you there.” You choke out without letting the damn in your eyes break, it’s always hard to hold back tears when you have to talk.

“Okay,” he says and you hear him walk away so you make your way to the empty stands. It’s fall and your knitted sweater doesn't do much for the wind that blows between the patterns of yarn. The stands are empty, there are no lights on and night only gets darker and darker as you sit in the back row of the stands, you bring your knees up to your chest and bury your face in your palms.

You feel stupid, hopelessly stupid.

No, your heart is not the first to break, not the first time it’s felt this way from James’ unknowing ignorance towards your feelings. It’s not the first time you have cried for him And not the first time you’ve felt hopeless, like you may never get over him. You might be stuck feeling heartbroken and jealous and unwanted every time you see him.

Your chest is tight and you gasp for air through the tears, you pout and pull the strings in your sweater making you even colder, the tears on your cheeks make your face cool with the breeze and you don't even know what you’re doing. 

What will crying in the empty quidditch stands accomplish? You can’t go back to the common room, you don’t want to see James or his stupid face, or messy hair or dorky glasses and goofy smile. You don't want to hear one of his jokes because you know you will laugh, and you don't feel very funny right now.

More than anything you crave the comfort of your bed, the softness of your bedsheets, the quietness of your room. In order to get there, you have to face your friends first. So you stand up, dust off your plaid skirt and pull the sleeves of your sweater over your hands to dry your face. You take a deep breath, even your breathing and then pitifully climb down from the stands and make your sorrow walk to your common room.

Luckily the crisp air of fall can be the blame for your post crying face, allergies to blame for your puffy eyes if anyone asked. You take another deep breath and offer a fake smile to the fat lady as you mumble the password, she gives a concerned sympathetic look in return and opens the door.

The room is light and loud and filled with laughter. Gobstones flying everywhere and intense competition going on. Luckily no one’s attention is brought to you.

Peter and James are playing with determination in their eyes while Remus watches with excitement, book still in hand since he’s trying to multitask. Sirius is nowhere to be seen but other various Gryffindors fill the room. The first years watch the game with stars in their eyes and chant for whoever they want to win. 

Lily is sitting beside James, eerily close. You stop walking and stare at them for a moment, it throws you off completely.

You don't know that he’s asked her but something about the way they are sitting tells you that he did. The way she’s sitting closer than she usually does, the way she has this sort of smirk on her face and James keeps looking at her with the widest smile between moves. You can tell she said yes.

Remus is the first and only person to notice you. You could tell him a million lies about fall breezes and allergies and he would still see the tears threatening to spill from your eyes. His smile drops and he goes to get up and walk towards you. You frown and bite your lip hard. Just as Remus reaches you and places his hands on your elbows, your arms crossed in front of you. He cranes his neck down to be eye level with you, but before he can even say a word of comfort or apology the portrait opens blowing air in your face. 

Sirius walks in and quickly realizes the scene in front of him. He doesn't have to see your face to know you’re clearly upset and that Remus is trying and failing to comfort you, he sees James and Lily on the couch acting closer than they usually do.

“Remus,” Sirus says, you can tell he’s angry about something but you have no idea what, Remus looks a bit scared for a moment before he faces you again, you interrupt him.

“It’s okay, I'm fine,” you say before you break out of his hold and run up to your room. Remus must have done something to piss Sirius off and you didn’t want to deal with anyone else’s problems right now.

You get into your room and thankfully it’s empty, you only have two roommates. One girl, Florence, is a pureblood, a total bitch who is forever salty that she isn’t in the same room as her friends. And the other girl, is like you, quiet and reserved, you get along well enough and bond over your hatred of Florence.

You crawl into bed, pull the covers over your head and just lay there and cry. What else are you supposed to do, there is nothing. James got the girl of his dreams and she isn’t you, he doesn't want you. Everything you hoped would never happen just did all in one night. Rejection and heartbreak. You pull the curtain around your bed and cast a silencing charm, it will be a while before your tears stop and you aren't in the mood to have to explain yourself to anyone.

Sirius and Remus are still downstairs, Sirius pulled Remus by the loose collar of his oversized sweater and the pushed him into the hall.

“This is your fault,” he says sternly, his face concrete in anger.

“You don't even know what happened yet.”

“It doesn't take a genius to understand. Vix went and asked James out like you stupidly encouraged her to do knowing he would say no.”

“I didn’t know that.” 

“Yes, you did Remus don't play stupid with me. You messed up and you’re too guilty to admit it.”

“Is it such a crime to be nice to our friend.”

“It’s a crime to give her false hope yes. James probably brushed her question off, probably was an ignorant git about it.”

“Well, he probably didn’t understand her feelings were more than platonic.”

“Which we both knew would happen!” Sirius yells and a house-elf that’s dusting a statue shushes them. “James came back here and asked Lily out and by the looks of it she said yes didn’t she?”

“Yeah who saw that coming?” Remus asks trying to change the topic, feeling guiltier by the moment, he knows he messed up and doesn't know how to fix it.

“That part doesn't even matter. You messed this up. You knew that James would never go on a date with Vix.”

“I know you guys had talked about it before but you never said why. I thought maybe once he knew she liked him he would change his mind!”

“No, because James is the only person who knew that I…” Sirius paused, words stuck in his throat and Remus’ eyes widen in realization.

“You like her.”

“Yeah,” Sirius admits and then gets angry again. “So James would never go on a date with her, he would never do that to me. And then here you come sending her down a path shes bound to fail from the start.”

“I was trying to be nice, maybe if you told me things.”

“You would have told Vix, you tell her everything. I didn’t want her to know, and now I especially don't want her to know.”

“You thought she liked you back.”

“I thought I had a chance,” Sirius admits in defeat. 

“But you were with that Hufflepuff girl last week, we all thought, Vix and I thought you two were...doing things.”

“You mean my project partner in transfiguration, which you and Vix would both know if you had taken that class with me like you were supposed to. I haven’t even thought about another girl since the beginning of last year. James made me realize my stupid feelings and since then Vix has been the only girl on my mind. But thanks to you she thinks I’m off screwing with a Hufflepuff girl.

“To be fair it was Vix who jumped to that conclusion…”

“Remus.”

“Sorry.”

Remus moved closer to Sirius, resting a hand on his shoulder, no longer worried about Sirius being mad, instead of worried about his two friends with broken hearts.

“I have to go.” Sirius shrugged his shoulder to get Remus’ hand off of him and hurried down the hallway.

Remus knew there was nothing he could do to cheer Sirius up, so he went to your room to find you instead.

-

Remus let himself into the room after seeing both your roommates downstairs. He whispered your name and peeled your curtain back.

“I'm sorry,” he said, sadness and guilt dripping from his voice. You quickly moved up onto your knees to be level with him and wrapped your arms around his shoulders holding him tight. Remus hugged you back, holding you close and letting you cry on him. He was warm and broad-shouldered so he always gave good hugs.

“It’s not your fault.” You said between puffs of breath.

“I shouldn’t have told you to do that.”

You pushed him back again and looked him dead in the eyes.

“Remus Lupin you are not to blame for this, even if I hadn’t tried to ask him out he still would be going to Hogsmeade with Lily, it’s a culmination of all of it together but I would have ended up here anyway in this same place. I'm just glad I have you.”

“You have all of us, even James. I’ll be here for you and help you get over him, you just need to transfer your feelings onto someone else.” He said trying to hint at Sirius, not able to keep any secrets from you.

“I don't think that’s the healthiest coping mechanism. Let’s just focus on Arithmancy, and studying and avoiding James and Lily until I am emotionally stable enough to see them together.”

“I can help with that!” He says with excitement.

“For now let’s watch dumb muggle movies and eat chocolate?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

-

It took a long time to get over James, you spent a lot of time with Remus who was a good friend, he helped take your mind off of him for this past month. It still hurt to see them together, they were so unbearably cute and if you weren’t envious of Lily before you definitely were now.

You and Remus became almost inseparable, your friendship level going from normal to absolute best friends. It was good, there was no pressure there to act differently around him because there were no romantic feelings of any kind.

Sirius had been missing most of the month, barely around, avoiding you at every turn. It was weird too, and you missed him.

“Has Sirius been really busy lately, I feel like I never see him?”

“Outside of our room and class I barely see him either, I don’t know what he’s been up to,” Remus answers honestly. He was so busy hanging out with you he completely ignored his other friend who had also been hurt by this whole mess of feelings.

“I just feel like I did something to make him mad at me, he used to hang out with us all the time but lately it been just me and you.”

“And I’m bad company?” Remus asks sarcastically.

“No you’re the best person in the whole entire world with a heart of gold, and the best friend a girl could ask for. I'm just worried about Sirius, I miss him.”

And almost on cue, Sirius walked into the common room, he looked tired and moody like he had all month.

“Sirius! Come sit with us!” You said with a bright smile. He looked at the way you were sitting so close to Remus, you had been spending so much time with him lately he hated it, hated watching you fall from one of his friends to the other, one that wasn’t him. He still had feelings for you, they wouldn't falter or dissipate no matter how much he avoided you.

“I wouldn’t want to intrude on your date,” he said passive-aggressively as he walked quickly up the stairs not seeing the confusion on your faces.

“What the-”

“Oh no,” Remus said his face going blank.

“What?” You said loudly turning to Remus who had clearly realized something.

“He thinks we are...oh no.”

“He thinks we are what? Dating. No, he knows we aren't and even if he did think that why would he be mad?”

“I fucked up, I fucked up again oh Merlin,” Remus said shaking his head.

“REMUS! Fill me in here please!”

“Sirius, was mad yes, upset when he found out you liked James, then upset with me for giving you false hope and setting you up to get hurt.

“I already said that wasn’t your fault.” You interrupted and Remus continued.

“But Sirius still blamed me. Then now he thinks that somehow this is, our friendship is some sort of rebound, he sees it as something more than it is and that’s why he’s been so edgy and distant.”

“This doesn't make sense still though, why does he care so much about who I date, or don't in this case.”

“Because Sirius has had feelings for you since last year, which James knew and I didn’t know until last month.”

“No he doesn't, Sirius fools around with so many girls, why would he like me?”

“He said he hasn’t been interested in a girl since he realized his feelings for you.”

You paused for a moment to think, he had been rather nice to you, in ways you hadn’t paid mind to because you were so busy staring at James. When you watched James leave a classroom you failed to notice Sirius patiently waiting for you. When you drooled over James in the hallway listening to his every word, you didn’t notice how Sirius was carrying your books for you, how he sat and studied with you and Remus even when he wasn’t in the class. And then it all clicked.

“Sirius likes me.” You said with wide eyes.

“Yeah, and now he probably thinks I’m a proper asshole.”

“I should go talk to him,” you say and Remus nods.

“Try to clarify the part where I’m not an asshole please!” Remus says suddenly scared of his friend’s anger.

“I’ll try,” you tease with a smile and then go upstairs.

Seeing you and Remus on the couch was the last straw for Sirius, the way you so carelessly asked him to sit with the two of you, as if he would want to. As if seeing you with Remus wasn’t infuriating.

He didn’t have someone to talk sense into him the past month, he didn’t have a friend to keep him busy and distracted or help him get over you. He had to sit and sulk alone, think about you being busy with his best friend.

He tried that first night to move on when you told him and Remus that you liked James and not him. He went and found his Hufflepuff lab partner and started returning all the flirting and pick up lines she had been throwing at him all week.

It worked, it got him far enough for her to kiss him, and maybe more if he hadn’t panicked. He closed his eyes into the kiss and all he saw was you, your face, he thought about kissing you. And he had to stop, he had to apologize to the poor girl and then find something else to numb his mind.

He couldn’t move on, he just couldn’t. So after he went upstairs he ran into Florence, your bitchy roommate that he knew you loathed. She had just left her boyfriend’s room, which Sirius quickly learned was now her ex-boyfriend. 

One thing led to another and they were making out in the hallway, both parties acting purely on the intent to make someone jealous, to forget about their feelings and just do something stupid and reckless.

Just as Sirius has pushed Florence against the wall, practically sticking his tongue down her throat you walked up the stairs. Completely ready to ask Sirius on a date or just simply talk to him about this whole thing. Instead, you got to see the boy who was supposedly “in love” with you, sucking the face-off of the person you hated. You stopped mid-step and gasped quietly.

Florence’s ex-boyfriend stepped into the hallway at the same time and started yelling, quickly getting into an argument with her and then bringing her back into his room. Her plan sure worked well for her. Sirius’ not so much. He caught his breath, his chest rising and falling.

“Y/n what are you doing up here?” he asked confused, wondering why your eyes looked sad. You look betrayed.

“I came to talk to you.”

“Me? Your boyfriends downstairs why would you want to talk to me,” he said defensively.

“Remus is the farthest thing from my boyfriend, he’s my friend, the only one I’ve had since you’ve been ignoring me all month!”

“I see the way you look at each other it’s sickening,” he complains

“You see what you want to see, I love Remus yeah, he’s my friend, I love James and Peter and you too you idiot.”

“Remus told you, didn’t he,” Sirius says angrily, looking down the stairs behind you as if he wants to go yell at him himself.

“Yeah, only because I thought you were mad at me!” You yell closing the distance between you, “I would have much preferred you tell me yourself!”

“That would have worked great for me, Hey Vix I know you are in love with two of my friends but I also like you, please love me too!” He says in a mocking tone.

“You’re so full of yourself, there were so many ways you could have handled this but all you do is act like a child about the whole thing! I never once was angry with James for not liking me back, and I certainly never made out with someone he hates just to make him angry or jealous! You can be such an inconsiderate asshole!” You yell before stomping back down the stairs and leaving the common room.

Sirius walks downstairs and finds Remus on the couch.

“What did you do? She was all giddy a minute ago and now she basically had flames coming off her head?” Remus asks.

“I fucked up.”

“Well, at least I’m not the only one around here doing that.” Remus jokes with a laugh but his smile flattens when Sirius glares at him before going towards the door.

“She will probably be in the corner of the courtyard by the lilac bush if you’re going to find her,” Remus says just trying to help but it just pisses Sirius off more.

“I know that,” he bites back. Sirius knows you better than Remus may think, sure this month you and Remus may have gotten closer than the past but Sirius had been fawning over you for over a year, he knew everything there was to know about you, except apparently that you had been harbouring a crush for James. He really should have caught onto that.

He makes his way to the courtyard and sits beside you in silence not sure what to say.

“Why did you follow me out here?” 

“Because I'm sorry, because I want to talk to you and somehow apologize.”

“Then apologize.”

“Oh, okay, um, I’m sorry for making out with your roommate that you hate. I wasn’t doing it to make you upset or jealous, I was trying to force myself to move on, to get over you…” he trails off and you look at him expectantly.

“And for the rest?” You ask and he looks at you confused.

“The rest?”

“For getting mad at me when I told you about James, for saying that he would never date me, for ignoring me for a month and being passive-aggressive, for assuming things about my friendship with Remus.”

“Oh yeah, that. I'm sorry about that too. I was stupid and I don’t even know how to explain myself. I'm sorry I'm not good at dealing with my emotions, I’m sorry I’m so defensive and jump to conclusions, I’m sorry my anger is a bit out of control and I’m sorry I’m bad at talking about things. I shouldn't have avoided you, even if you don't want me as anything more than a friend, I’m sorry I wasn’t grateful and happy because having you as a friend is better than not having you at all.”

“You should have just asked me on a date a long time ago when you realized you liked me.”

“I was nervous, I didn't want you to say no, and you would have been all in love with James then.”

“I would have been but I still would have said yes. I should have stopped liking James a long time ago. I would have said yes and we could have gone on a date and I would have realized that the idea of you being more than a friend isn’t so bad. I would have thought about all the sweet and nice things you do for me.”

“I wish I had a time-turner and could just go back in time and fix all of this,” he said sounding defeated.

“You don't need a time-turner when you have someone willing to forgive you sitting right in front of you.”

“Maybe I don't deserve that.”

“Maybe you don't get to tell me what you deserve from me if I want to forgive you then I will.”

“What if I just fuck it up again?” he asks, this brutally honest look in his eyes, being so candid with you about his fears and feelings.

“Think you would fuck up taking me on a date to Hogsmeade?”

“I can try my best not to,” he says with this childish smile, laughing to himself. And you haven’t completely forgiven him, you aren't even sure of your feelings yet but you can feel yourself getting used to the idea of him, like its been there all along you were just too blinded by hopeless devotion to notice.

--------

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