#IDK IF CANON IS ABOUT TO BE ABSOLUTELY AWFUL TO YOU AND TBH IT PROBABLY WILL BUT YOU GOT YOUR FAMILY BY YOUR SIDE!!!!!!

[akkivee]

TO THE KNIGHT OF THE SUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[muffinsin]

Hello muffin tis i, deluded anon with another ask. Tw for ablism i think? I am autistic and get called slurs and mocked for it by my family n friends, such as the r word n whatnot. If theres any issues that cause me stress like putting the cutlery away- they are too loud and hurt my head. Or if my clothes and everything touching me burns n pricks me, being mute on occasions i get told to get a grip n to shut up- then told off later if i was in public. They treat other autistic people differently from me n reassure them that its ok n valid but its not ok for me to be like that. Anyways i dont really do people and am attached to my teddies n plushies- they have feelings. I always take the most care with them n i dont want them to be uncomfortable, they all call me delusional and a not right for loving my plushies (and fictional women)more than them.

So what would happen if the reader were to be autistic and a maid in the castle struggling with some certain tasks and the rest of the maids treating the reader like how ive been treated (if that makes sense. Idk if i’m making sense) so readers kind of like the laughing stock for them, unbeknownst to the sisters until some maid rips a teddy or comfort item.

How would the sisters react to this? I dont think theyd like it nor tolerate it due to cassandra being autistic and daniela having adhd.

I’m sorry this is such a long ask and quite frankly too much of a self centred one. I have no idea if this makes sense- i apologies sincerely if this makes you uncomfortable in any way. Please dont feel pressured to write this.

I can 100% see the rendition of lion king being played out with dani 😂 she would without a doubt try n blag her mother into making her sister make up for being mean to her, like forfeiting a maid to her.



Of course! I’m very curious about this ask tbh and hope I’ll do it justice :)

A few things first up under the cut, if anybody wants to skip to the start of the HCs, it’ll be marked for you😊

TW: ableism, bullying

Let’s get into this! :)

Masterlists

Tbh I’m hoping I’ll be able to get this right! I’m not autistic myself and am only going off what I’ve read here and experiences I’ve been told about by friends.

First thing I want to say hon, is that you are absolutely, 100% valid.

Nobody- and this includes you- deserves to be called slurs or treated wrongly for such reasons. There is no justification to it at all. To treat you differently while claiming to be accepting with others is awful, and I sincerely hope you will find people decent and good enough to accept you, friends especially :)

Also- plushie superiority honestly XP What are their names?👀 Have you got a fav? Or is it an I-love-them-all-equally- situation? Honestly, regarding what you’ve said about plushie love not being okay? I call bs on it. I find plushie love is one of the sweetest there is, even when I don’t have that many myself, I greatly treasure the few plushies I still have. Heck yeah XD

Is the autism and ADHD for Cassandra and Daniela canon? Or a HC?👀 I’ve never heard of it

(Lion king drabble mentioned: here)

Aight that’s it from me! This all probably made little sense, because ironically I cannot comfort at all, I suck at it in most cases, but I hope I still got the key points across somehow XD

Let’s get into it!

(Beginning of the ask)

Bela

She adores you, with all her heart

Bela loves you so much, each part of you

She tries her best to make life as comfortable as possible for you

Even if she can’t always relate to your struggles, she always attempts to ease them

The moment you open up about some of the things troubling you, Bela takes action

She takes special care to ensure the new uniforms are made of fabrics you approve and feel comfortable in, and orders them as soon as possible

Until their arrival, Bela has taken it upon herself to declare to everyone that you are not obliged to wear the old ones

Nobody dares to call you out for working in a shirt instead of the uniform, the order comes from Bela, after all, one of the highest of your superiors, right after Alcina

When the new uniforms are delivered, you can’t help but smile. They’re perfect!

Bela has the old ones disposed of, thrown someplace she can’t be bothered to know

Next, there are the tasks appointed to you

While she normally doesn’t get involved all that much in the staff’s business and shares a mutual respect with the grand chambermaid, she does interfere here

She requests that you are not given tasks in the kitchen as to not get overwhelmed by the loud noises

Nor does she wish for you to work anywhere near the basements

Of course, your lover would never allow you anywhere in the basements, even outside of work, even when she is lurking down there

It’s for safety purposes, most of all

Instead, you are usually appointed calmer places, such as the library or even the castle gardens or greenhouse at times

Bela is flustered whenever you remember to bring her a flower from the outside in winter

Aside from all these things, Bela is your shoulder to cry on, and your pillar to lean on

She never fails to reassure you how much she loves you, and how things you consider as flaws are endearing to her

She knows, sometimes you tend to be quiet, if not entirely mute

After a quick check in whether you’re all right, and you reassure her, she smiles widely

Bela treasures such silence, really

She enjoys to spend time with you, and sometimes silence is just what she needs

After all, the castle can be loud already, especially to her

Wrestling her screaming, kicking and bickering younger sisters all day and night often gives her a migraine

She loves simply cuddling in bed or sitting together, reading together or simply relaxing

Bela doesn’t mind your quietness, and she can easily either make conversation by monologing, or bask in it, even go as far as to close her eyes

She finds these moments precious

She knows nearly everything about you- all except one thing

Life among the staff

Bela doesn’t know of the torment you face, not quite

She doesn’t notice your anxiety when they make fun of you, doesn’t know about how uncomfortable you become when they poke you for fun

She doesn’t know an old uniform has been retrieved from the storage and switched with yours specifically merely to amuse the other staff members

You grit your teeth at the wrong fabric on you, the uncomfortable one that feels entirely too heavy and scratchy

No matter how much you search for the new uniform, it’s hidden far away beyond your grasp

Only when all your duties are done can your change out of it and back into your normal clothing, just in time for Bela to finish work and greet you with a warm smile

You don’t dare tell her, too worried what the other maids will do

After all, Bela can’t dispose of them all

Then there’s the noises…

How often you are brought to the edge of feeling overstimulated and overwhelmed when maids laugh and mock you, forks and knives in their hands as they slap them together

Like sticks hitting a drum, maybe

You are not oblivious to their laughter as you bury your head in your brown teddy bear and fluffy, blue arm sized blanket

Soon, you are indirectly appointed to the kitchens

Not by the grand chambermaid, nor by Bela

You feel uncomfortable at the hands grabbing you by the arms and leading you there

Their reasoning? If you don’t clean up, maidens will be hurt, and it will be your fault

Aside from this, with more hurt maidens and their panic increasing, so will the stress your girlfriend will have to face over trying to manage the castle

They know of your love for Bela, and often use it to have you do things you dislike

Such as picking up all the silverware from the wet sink, drying it in a towel of a texture you dislike, and putting them in the drawers

Their laughter and mockery rings out behind you while you’re made to finish their work

Still, as torturous as all of this is, their newest stunt is incomparable to it

As you find yourself hugging your stuffed bear yet again and cry into its fur at the loud laughter around you, you suddenly feel it tugged from you

Naturally, you try to hold on

Slurs are thrown at you. Mockery

You hear a particular loud cry, a maid calling you a baby, just before you’re suddenly sent back on the bed

You’re holding your teddy- as is the maid tugging it

Tears well up in your eyes as you hold its body, your eyes scanning the unattached leg now dropped to the floor

You feel someone snap their fingers right next to your ear and jump

More laughter

The women around you laugh and mock as you sink to the floor, your teddy and blanket held tight to you as you attempt to grasp the leg

It’s kicked in the corner of the room, and more laughter rings out when you crawl after it quickly

More harsh name calling, until eventually you grasp it

Unsurprisingly, you can’t just push it back on

You aren’t sure how much time passes until your girlfriend finds you

You aren’t even sure when you wandered off to Bela’s room. It’s as if your feet just automatically carried you to your safe place

She immediately swarms to you, her hands hovering by your arms

With a nod of your head, reassuring her it’s okay, she touches you

She immediately feels the change of fabric of your uniform. She knows, this isn’t the right one

Still, golden eyes set on the damaged teddy bear in your hands

Again, she waits for your permission before she pulls you on her lap, knowing you’re so distraught now

She grasps your hands and dries your tears, and gently holds the leg one one hand, the remaining teddy in her other

“He’s broken”, you sob, and Bela is quick to assure you

“Damaged, my dove, not broken”

She promises, she can fix your friend

And true to her word, she does

Urging you to change, she allows you to search her closet for anything that suits you

You watch with wide, hopeful eyes as she takes a sewing kid from one of her many shelves

Thankfully, your beautiful girlfriend enjoys branching out and learning so many new skills…

You watch with wonder as she adds stuffing back into the leg, and even allows you to pick a color to stitch it back together in

Dressed comfortably in her larger clothing and holding onto her pillows and your blue blanket, you watch as slowly, but surely, your friend’s leg is reattached

“He’s on bed rest now, you know”, she teases, hoping to bring a smile to your face

Bela portrays this picture of calmness for you, but rest assured, the moment she knows you’re completely calm and happy again, she will personally see to it that such actions are punished

She demands to know what has been going on with the staff, and offers you your own room, should you not want to move into hers

Bela smiles in self satisfaction as she hand picks the new recruits for cadou experiments, hunts, and, of course, Cassandra’s birthday presents ;)

Cassandra

She cares a lot about you, and is incredibly protective of you

Cassandra tries her best to make you comfortable

She knows, her fast, often dangerous and hectic movements can intimidate or scare away most. She doesn’t want that to happen with you

While Cassandra isn’t the best at listening, she takes in all you say whenever you are made uncomfortable by something

Such as the clanging of her weapons when she carelessly drops them all on a big pile

Her heart breaks a little when you cover your ears at the loud noise caused by metal hitting metal

Was she a dog, her ears would droop down

Instead, she immediately apologizes and tries to still the rocking blades

She makes sure not to clank them against one another again, instead is careful to place them down one by one

She grins widely whenever this earns her a kiss and a smile of yours

Her efforts are certainly not dismissed and ignored!

Then, there’s of course your like and dislike towards certain sensations

She can’t help but giggle when you fall into her bed the first time you touch it

She has all the perfect fabrics!

Cassandra is very picky as it comes to them, too

Her dress is tight, but soft

It doesn’t scratch along her skin and isn’t too soft to make her feel droopy. It’s just perfect to her

Her bed equals this

Soft, satin sheets she likes, and a few large pillows. Not too much, just enough for her to sleep comfortably

You love wearing her clothing. It’s perfect and doesn’t irritate your skin

In return, Cassandra doesn’t mind lending it to you, even if you don’t quite fit into it

All her clothing is custom made, such as Alcina’s dresses and the typical black dresses all three sisters like to wear

The crafter? None other than the famous other Lady of the village

Cassandra makes it a point to ask Donna for clothing made in your size. In return, she is ready to send across a few of the castle’s finest cooking ingredients

It’s working out well, and often she likes to surprise you with a new clothing item of your choice, made of a fabric of your choice

Cassandra doesn’t care for fabrics, merely the feel of them

She allows you to take charge whenever it comes to picking the right ones out

In the beginning, you worry Cassandra will mind your occasional silence

You’re all too happy to notice: she doesn’t

Cassandra talks often, but isn’t quite one for conversation

She likes monologuing, knowing you’re listening to her as she rants about her hunts and her sisters

She doesn’t take your silence as disrespect, though at times randomly reminds herself to check in whether you’d like her to keep talking or stay silent as well for some peace and quiet

She likes to bask in such silence sometimes, to have her head on your lap and play with a few of her flies while you stroke her soft hair

Another thing she’s surprised you by is regarding your stuffed animals

While she hasn’t quite got the connection to them you have, she respects it

Though, she will not allow all of them in her bed. She wants that space all to herself

Still, she is mindful to keep a corner of the bed empty for your stuffed animals, and only growls playfully when you shower them in love, subtly reminding you to place a kiss to her forehead, too

She can’t help but be a little clingy sometimes, after all

Cassandra doesn’t fault you for preferring plushies to humans. She isn’t exactly a fan of them either and rather sees them as nuisances or means to an end, after all

All except you. You’re her precious little human

And Cassandra wants to keep you safe at all times

Yet, there are things even she cannot seem to keep you safe from

Such as the staff members

You know, Cassandra doesn’t get involved with the maiden’s affairs unless to drag one to the basement

She is therefore unaware of the pokes and laughter that follow you sometimes

The slurs whispered your way… you know Cassandra would have their heads for it, yet you can’t seem to bring yourself to tell her

And they know it all too well

Your heart hurts when they talk to you, and in time, you know the only reason for this are dares

Dares, from one maid to another, to talk to you

Entertainment, as they chat and mock you subtly, trying to see how long it takes you to notice

You try to brush it off. To not let it bother you

Cassandra surely wouldn’t let it bother her! She seems so powerful…

Their words regarding this sting. How she could be with someone like you

When you’re allowing them to walk all over you

Some freak, as they say

Their words haunt you hours later even, when your shifts end and you’re cuddled up against Cassandra as she monologues about this and that while showing you her newest dagger

Then, there’s the little stuffed turtle you like to keep in your pocket

It helps you stay calm sometimes, even with the uniform being scratchy and uncomfortable

Often they laugh as they snatch your turtle from you, instead throw her through the air, right above your outstretched hands as you attempt to catch your precious friend

All other stuffed animals are kept safe in Cassandra’s room. All but this one

No one would dare venture into her territory merely to taunt you

No maid is this foolish

You gasp when the turtle is thrown yet again, high in the air in the main hall, right above your hands even as you jump to reach it

Your eyes widen when your precious stuffed animal lands right in the fireplace

Thankfully, not a lit one. It’s summer, thankfully, and the castle is warm enough as it is

But it’s hot, and dirty, and smears black dust and ashes all over the green fur

“Freak”, they taunt as they pass you, crying and attempting to wipe the dirt off

Cassandra finds you easily, having heard your fast heartbeat indicating your panic attack even from the basement

You can merely look up at her as she kneels down, her gloves easily pulled down by her teeth as she holds the little turtle

She’s very careful no blood is smeared on it or you, and opts for staying a little distant upon realising she’s covered in it nearly from head to toe

You don’t seem to mind, you can only look at the turtle, impossibly small in Cassandra’s large hands as strong fingers rub over the dirt gently

A stain remains, and you smile watery. A battle wound, maybe?

The thought comforts you only slightly

You suppose, a scar, a battle wound, wouldn’t be the worst thing…Cassandra has them, after all, scars littering her backside from challenging fights

She won, in the end

Upon demanding what happened, and hearing your tale, Cassandra sees red

She wipes the back of her hand against her lips to clean her bloodied lips, then presses a small kiss to your forehead before she swarms off

In the days to come, plenty examples are maid

Maidens are set free only to be dragged back screaming and badly hurt, begging for forgiveness as they are killed in front of the others

Others are immediately dragged to the basement

And the remaining two that have started it all, are devoured alive in front of the rest of the staff, Cassandra’s warning screamed from their lips

Never, never, will she allow someone to mistreat you again

She keeps a close eye on you, and often opts for having a few flies buzzing around you when you aren’t with her

Daniela

Daniela is a hyper little thing, full of energy and love that she wants to shower you in

She’s very clingy with you, but also incredibly perceptive

More so than her other two sisters, even

She picks up on your slight grimace when it’s dinner time and the rattling of silverware irritates your ears

Without having to tell her, Daniela is more delicate in her movements with her fork and knife- she was the main source of this noise after all, smacking them together because she is generally too energetic to sit still

Instead, she merely swarms around excitedly and annoys her sisters until the food is served

She also notices- you don’t like every clothing item she has to offer

Some just- don’t take your pick, and at first she is a little hurt

She doesn’t understand why, and worries you might think she has horrible taste

Or perhaps don’t want to wear a gift of hers altogether

Daniela tends to overthink fast, and quickly becomes a little hesitant to shower you in gifts when you don’t seem too happy with the two dresses she’s brought you

While she is all for comfort, Daniela doesn’t mind scratchiness of her gowns

Being put in so many of them for balls and events hosted by Alcina, she has learned to ignore the urge to scratch and the annoying itch caused by scratchy sleeves

Overall, she still loves gowns, and isn’t bothered by differences in textures

When you explain to her that you feel differently about this, it’s a little difficult for her to understand

However, Daniela cares about you, and if you tell her this fabric is bad fabric, she’ll tear it to pieces for you, as though you’re her fair maiden and she is the knight protecting you from the fierce dragon!

She often makes slashing noises as she does though, a little too invested in her fantasies

You don’t mind

You think her creativity and fantasy endearing, even

Daniela is curious, though. Often she will randomly swarm to you to ask whether something is good or bad, just out of curiosity, and maybe because she’s turned it into a game

She wants to see if she is getting better at telling what is good and what isn’t, so her surprises and gifts for you are ones you can actually enjoy

She brings you fabrics of gowns and shirts, food and drinks, and even once a very grumpy Bela to question whether her sister feels bad too

She claims she does, with a large, shit eating grin on her face, and you smile as her laughter is heard through the halls when she is chased down for such behaviour, likely made to sit and listen to another lecture of the blonde should she be caught

You find, you look forward to hearing Daniela complain about it

While Daniela can be very loud and hyper at times, and often enough you join in, she doesn’t mind times you’re quiet either

She had no trouble at all leading a conversation, either monologuing or talking for so long and so fast, there’s no way for anybody else to join in anyway

Often, when she notices you’re in a quieter mood, she’ll take control of the conversation until the other person leaves

In return, she only expects a smile, and a kiss to her face

Yet, as much as Daniela dotes on you and coddles you, there are others who are not as sweet

Others, who do not make you feel as welcome

Others, who dare make you feel as though you aren’t normal. Not “right”

The maidens at Castle Dimitrescu can be ruthless, sometimes, especially to outsiders

Being Daniela’s partner has made you an outsider

And having autism has made you their target

They thread carefully at first, knowing you are not only under Daniela’s protection, but by this also under Bela and Cassandra’s

Should they hurt you, it hurts Daniela, after all. Alas, you have three murderous fly women on your side

However…what they don’t know…

It starts off with a group of four who take, seemingly, immense pleasure in taunting you

Their hatred comes from being small minded, and jealous, yet knowing this does nothing to help you

They don’t understand- how come you get to wear a different uniform than them?!

How come you never have to clean up the table and wash the dishes and silverware?

How come you get to work in quiet, reserved locations and get to take so many breaks, while they are to work near the entrance to the dungeons, the screams of their fellow fallen maids taunting them

How come they fear for their life, and you never need to?

You are a target by far too soon

You often find yourself crying and hiding at your bed as they laugh and bicker about, silently wishing Daniela opts for a random visit and slays them all

She doesn’t, and won’t. She isn’t allowed into the maid quarters

Their shrill laughter and loud voices hurt your ears, and as you find yourself clutching one of the stuffed animals not tucked away in Daniela’s room- a grey, knit bear- they laugh even more

Soon, you are titled as a baby and inhuman for your affection towards the stuffed animal

You feel fear shoot through you whenever you don’t find him sitting at your pillow

Often, they wave the teddy in front of you, snickering and commanding this and that

They’re playing God, and for moments you feel as though they are the predators of this castle

With the wish to receive your stuffed animal again, you clean their beds and bring their plates, silverware and cups to the kitchens after supper

Usually, you receive your bear again

Not yet this time, it seems

“Go and get it, if you dare” they snicker as they throw it down the stairs to the basement

You gulp. You know, you aren’t supposed to go down there

No maid is, but especially you

Even Daniela has forbidden you from stepping in the cellars

You shudder at the memory of her truthful description upon being asked what lies down there. Monsters with swords and sickles, mold and blood, pain and the reek of the dead, corpses and torture chambers

But…your bear

You venture down as they snicker, and jump when the door clasps shut behind you

As tears sprint to your eyes, you hear a lock. No going back now, either way

You gulp at the loud whimpers and cries, and the distant screams and groans of the undead

It’s dark, and you can barely make a thing out

You jump when you hear a loud gasp from one of the cells and a hand reaches through the bars, as though to reach you

Immediately, you keep on running

More hands shoot out, some grazing your arm and dirtying your uniform, others mere inches away from your skin

You nearly trip a few times, the floor stony and littered with buckets, thrown over tables and chairs, dull knives and what not

It’s so dark, so that you can barely make out your own hands and the ones reaching for you

You shriek as a body bag drops in front of you, immediately taking off to run another direction

Again, you scream, when you run into something

A monster?! It’s so dark you-

“Uh-“

You blink at Cassandra’s voice, and upon opening your eyes, you find golden ones staring down at you

She seems almost unsure. You aren’t supposed to be in the basements, and were you anybody else, she would have already dug her sickle into you and called you a foolish prey for running right to her

But…you’re Daniela’s

You jump at a second gasp, and whine when another pair of golden eyes sets on you

Thankfully, these do not belong to Bela Dimitrescu. You recognize the light green colour shining through gold in them

Daniela!

She gasps when you run into her, quickly adjusting her hand so you don’t run right into the scalpel you can’t see in the dark

Immediately, her shock is covered by concern when she smells the fear surrounding you

She demands to know what you’re doing her, even if she feels flustered upon thinking you might have missed her and wanted to see her bad enough to venture into the cellars

Upon opening up about the bear, you feel her grasp your hand tightly

She promises, she’s going to find it with you

You nod shakily as Cassandra grins, having just received a reason to go upstairs and cause some more trouble along the maidens

With a lit torch held tightly in Daniela’s hand, it’s by far easier to navigate the dim basement

You realise the hands reaching out were maids, now backed far in the corner of their cells to avoid Daniela’s gaze

But the redhead doesn’t mind them. She is focused on finding your bear

And find him she does, after a while of searching

You nearly whimper when she holds it up between two fingers, the fabric soaked in blood and dirt and a rat having already started to eat away at its side

She hugs you tightly as she explains, it must be disposed of

It’s a major health risk by now, having been exposed to the mold of the basement and who knows what else

You spend the next couple of days entirely in her bed, cuddled up under the covers and crying your heart out between your other stuffed animals

At last, Daniela enters, a nervous smile on her face

You notice her hand behind her back, and lift your head curiously

“So, I know it’s not the same, but I told Bela what happened and asked her to fix it…”, she trails off

You can’t help but smile and cry as she pulls her hand to the front, a bear, knit nearly perfectly and in the exact same colour as yours, sitting in her palm

“She’s actually really good at this stuff. I made her make me an octopus. I named her Sally”

[fandoomrants]

ohhh just saw ur rant post! i agree with like 99.99% of it and im excited and i just wanna point out that it's stated in canon that james would have considered it the height of dishonor to distrust his friends, so, canonically, we only know of sirius suspecting remus (although i've read fics where james also distrused remus and i adore the angst and the drama and the absolute tragedy of it)

to add to the dorm thing: there are only like 5 boys in gryffindor in harry's year. not just in his dorm, but the whole house (as stated in chambers of secrets), so there's a very real chance the marauders were the only 4 boys in their year in gryffindor

and also to back up another one of ur points: pottermore canon states that remus was the one to bring peter into the group ("Remus, always the underdog’s friend, was kind to short and rather slow Peter Pettigrew, a fellow Gryffindor, whom James and Sirius might not have thought worthy of their attention without Remus’s persuasion. Soon, these four became inseparable."). before that it also states that "Remus Lupin was swiftly befriended by two cheerful, confident and rebellious boys, James Potter and Sirius Black. They were attracted by Remus’s quiet sense of humour and a kindness that they valued, even if they did not always possess it themselves"

Half my posts are rants, it's literally in the name of my url 😅😅 But I know which one you mean.

Oh, yeah, you're actually right here. It was pretty much Sirius we know about but I somehow thing it must have been a little bit from the others too. Especially because of the fact that Remus had actively started distancing himself. Oh, just imagine if Peter was intentionally slipping comments about it or something just so he can fully take the suspicion from himself away. And then... In reality I think Remus was mostly doing it to just keep them safe.

I'm not 100% sure if it's ever mentioned that someone outside of the Marauders, later Snape, and Dumbledore knew he's a werewolf. Maybe the other teachers, or some of them, but I highly doubt anyone in the first Order knew. In fact, maybe Lily didn't know. And I mentioned in another post how I think that maybe he hasn't seen Harry as a baby and this makes me feel so sad because he probably wanted to stay away.

But I'm not so sure here, I have to admit it's been a while since I read the books.

I fall into some downwards spiral about angsty thoughts but I actually don't like reading such fics xD Honestly, in this fandom I can swear 80% of them are either some angst or Major Character Death warning... I can't. If I want that, I'll reread the parts from the book xD

Oh, okay, that's a good point! We really don't know if there weren't other boys there. I just think, all dorms were kind of for 5 people and idk, if there are 5 students, they all gonna be in one. If there are 10 or less, they'll be in two, etc. So I suppose here the question is how many boys were in this year. (Tbh, I never really understood the roommates thing xD I somehow can't imagine having to share a room with someone for years and not becoming friends. Sure, for example Harry and Ron were best friends but I believe they considered the other friends too, just not as close. How would you otherwise trust these people with stuff like... Not touching your personal things or like, killing you in your sleep. Stuff like that. Also, it's otherwise kinda awkward.)

Thanks for pointing this out! I wasn't completely sure about it but I thought it's so. Now just imagine how everything must have felt even more awful for Remus in the end. But aoso this whole roommate thing would make lots of sense as to why he befriended Peter in the first place and later they all became friends.

Thanks for the ask and the info!!

[horrorknife]

okay idk if crossovers or aus or whatever are your thing at all but if they are (or even if they aren't but you're in for thought exercises) WHO in saw would make the funniest or worst or best candidate for at 2001 a space odyssey type situation. like who is dave and who is hal and who are the others.

and i am hoping this makes sense outside of my own head.

OH...OH MY GOD. FUCK THIS IS A REALLY REALLY HARD QUESTION TO ANSWER. DUDE YOU CAN'T JUST SMASH TWO OF MY SPECIAL INTERESTS TOGETHER LIKE THIS FUUUUCK!!!! also i absolutely am into crossover au type things im just very specific about them. i did write like 8k of a dirkjake 2001 au over the summer KJSGNJKSFNG

okay . so like...i think probably the obvious choice could be amanda as dave, john as hal, and hoffman as frank. BUT we'd have to assume that amanda and hoffman could be Normal around each other so this doesn't work. they butt heads too much. amanda does work well w lynn but i don't think she's actually all that good at giving orders, we normally see her following them...so maybe amanda doesn't work as dave either. john as hal makes sense to me for OBVIOUS reasons. oh also i don't think amanda could go through with disabling john like dave does so . damn

let's see. okay. so lawrence could definitely work as dave if i think about it? he's a surgeon so his job calls for a similar level of confidence and precision, and lawrence is very Good at what he does (also see: the line from the book about how dave never thought he'd be in the middle of space carrying out an impromptu brain surgery. Because it makes it funny.)

using this, we need someone that lawrence can reliably get along with in a civil way and won't distract him. so adam is off the table. and actually adam shouldn't be in the running at all tbh he'd be awful as an astronaut. really i think we could potentially use hoffman bc in my mind they don't Get Along but they could have a 100% business relationship. and we know that hoffman is reliable at his work if nothing else i guess? ACTUALLY. YOU KNOW WHAT. hear me out. perez as frank. i know perez and lawrence never interacted in canon but i think they'd actually get along swimmingly (altho perez definitely thinks hes annoying as hell LOL).

ok yeah i think that might be my final answer. lawrence as dave, perez as frank, and john as hal. This is my design

[captainmera]

Woe, 💕 be upon ye

I’ve been following ur Golden Brother fic for about… half the time it’s been up? I was already baffled by how u posted such long chapters of such GOOD SHIT, but recently I was like “oh yeah better check out their Tumblr!!” and… Who did you sell your soul to write that much, often post multiple drawings a day, AND have a webcomic (I still need to read it tbh) going??? LMAO

Whenever I open a new chapter and remember how long they tend to be, I go insane (affectionate, in awe, thankful).

That being said, if you overwork yourself with fanfic, fanart, or asks I will smack you with a large tree branch. So don’t u dare feel obligated to make a reply for this HHFJSBSNS

About the fic tho,,, your writing is so good. I came for the arc between Hunter and Vee (which I ADORE btw), but everyone’s characterization is just top tier imo. You even think through canonical strengths so well that you find new ways to turn them into FLAWS and I like it a very not normal amount.

Like… Luz genuinely fucking up a bit? Without being tricked like she was with Philip? You created such neat depth around her coping mechanism of distracting herself by helping others heheheee!!

Willow and how she got so set on being “the reliable one” that others find it hard to open up to her since the vulnerability feels one-sided is really interesting cuz it makes sense! It’s counterproductive, but I can see why she does it.

“The true mom-friend was Gus” is BASED, I’m absolutely here for it!!! He’s one of my favs, so I sometimes think he’s overlooked as far as character depth, but I love how you write himmm!!

Amity having to re-recognize that her and Hunter do indeed have a lot in common, but becoming very relaxed and understanding towards him once she does? Yissss always appreciate the (platonic) rosegold hostility->solidarity pipeline!

Hunter’s lingering child soldier mentality stuff is mmmmmmmmm!! And seeing him start to overcome it as he trusts others more IS SO!!!! AAAA!!!!! Plus his skill in understanding others and being a mediator from having a leadership role in the coven is super cool and fitting!! Also the grimwalker shenanigans are a blast ofc. Hhhnnggggg you’re really fueling my brainrot here >:[ /POS

Salty Vee fuels me. After being so mistreated for most of her life, she deserves to be a lil angry. As a treat. Directing it at Hunter may have been misplaced, but it’s understandable enough that Hunter himself recognized what she needed and encouraged her do her thing (when he does it out of guilt, I wanna hit him upside the head with therapy, but it’s still nice of him). And then her sudden, genuine “I forgive you” makes me wanna SOB, it’s so gooodddd!!

Even Jacob is super neat???? I never thought of Masha being like family sorta with him (and ngl I was actually :/ about the idea for a hot sec) but you worked it SO WELL!! I’m interested in his arc now lmaoooo

I can probably go on, but EEEE can’t wait to see more!!!!!

Anyways, THANK YOU FOR CONTENT!!!!! I wish you motivation, energy, health, happiness, and breaks if u need them XD

Thank you so much for this letter, its been so lovely to re-read it and it's been very encouraging. 💝💝💝🙇

Idk where to start. Just thank you very much for saying all that. 😭🙇💙💙💙

[real-total-drama-takes]

okay since im probably not gonna be using this blog im gonna talk about my opinions :3

Emmater's great big list of TD opinions ☆

Chase still cares about Emma and he shows it. His problem is that he is not a good person. He needs to be able to better himself and own up to his mistakes before Chemma could EVER happen.

I fucking hate alenoah with a burning fucking passion. yes im a noco shipper too fuck off

as i have previously stated, i fucking hate sierra. sierra is the worst character to ever fucking exist in TD.

I don't know about you guys, but personally I don't like Abuser x Victim ships!! (Coderra) I'm not a complete and utter weirdo!! Coderra is the worst ship to ever exist!! I'd ship alenoah before shipping this!!

Duncan and Courtney are both victims of each other and I'm tired of you guys treating Courtney like she was only a victim of Duncan cheating

Can we stop fighting about if this fandom is misogynistic or not, like just because my top 5 aren't all girls doesn't mean I actually hate women in fiction.

With that said, almost 0 characters (male AND female) in Total Drama are that compelling to me. Maybe that's because I usually like fiction that has stories that are more serious or stories you can take as more serious rather than relationship dramas, but I don't really like too many of these characters. That's probably why I like Cody so much, he's got the Sierra thing. He can easily be given trauma from that in fanworks, just because it's not explored in canon. Another one of my favorites is Mal because of the amount of shit you can give to him as a backstory just to justify his existence. Idk I like characters that have more to them than an archetype maybe this show isn't for me

Both TDTakes blogs are toxic and horrible. This is nothing against Mod Courtney or the late Mod Ripper, but it's absolutely against the anons. You guys are honestly assholes to everyone who has an opinion and it's disgusting. Part of the reason I'm less active on this blog tbh.

Scott and Manitoba should kiss

Mike's system has such god awful rep. I want him to reappear just so that they can fix him. He desperately needs to be fixed. All Stars sucked but I love Mal so

Alejandro is also a villain 😱😱😱😱😱😱 just cuz he's hot doesn't excuse his actions 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱

Mal and Alejandro should kiss

Nemma had awful writing, I'm not just saying that as a noco shipper either. It had awful writing and also likely exists as Fresh TV's damage control for the gay Noah accusations (considering when they were asked if Noah was gay and could not give proof that he wasn't)

Courtney and Gwen should kiss

Noah and Cody should kiss

Katie and Sadie should kiss

We needed more characters that have groups, rather than characters that only interact with one or two other characters.

And finally..

Emma isn't actually as awful of a character as I thought she was initially. She's just written awfully. I hate that about her. That's why I'm Emmater.

Thank you for reading ^_^

- @emmater

[tessabennet]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

Thanks to both @somanywords and @zenaidamacrouras1 for tagging me 💛

I'm gonna put my answers under a cut, lest this post becomes a nuisance on other people's dash lol

I don't know who already did this in my very small circle of fic writer friends here, so for any writers who see this and want to do it too, you are hereby officially tagged 🤗

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I currently have 7 works on AO3, two translations and 5 that I've actually written. I kind of think of those 5 as one fic though, bc it's one series, and on my laptop it's all one big document

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

493,817 (I can already say though that by the time my series will be fully posted, that number will be much higher, possibly even doubled)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Marve (more specifically the MCU), and exclusively Stucky

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

These City Walls

Carried the Cross

The Hand of a Devil

Still Running

Loosened Chains

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I always try to respond to every comment I get. If I ever don't respond to one, it's absolutely by accident. I want to encourage people to leave comments as much as I can, and I want to give back the appreciation I receive

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Uhm. All of them? I stick with canon, which is pretty much only angst, and I can't exactly make it better by filling the gaps realistically.

If I had to pick one though, I feel like Carried the Cross is the angstiest, given that everyone knows what comes next and that it'll be awful

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

The one with the happiest happy ending is currently in the making. The others that I've posted and/or finished writing, while certainly having happy moments, still end more or less angstily

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I had a few anons a while back that called me a copycat and plagiarist. They told me to take down my work bc it was a ripoff of another famous stucky series with the same premise. It's the one I did those translations for in fact.

And that's something I sometimes think myself, so it's not like I don't see their point. But the messages were written so rudely that I deleted them rather than open a whole can of worms of discourse about that

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I did/do write smut, yes, but none of that is in the fics I posted so far. And the way I write it is definitely very tame, compared to what's out there. But I think the way I write it fits the style I established for the series, and it fits the vibe I'm going for. Maybe when I'll get to editing those chapters I'll make it more explicit, but for now it's pretty mild

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I don't, given that I'm doing canon-verse fic. It would probably be fun to give it a try, and maybe one day I will, but right now I'm planning on taking a break from fic writing as soon as I'm done with the series, so idk if or when that's gonna be in the cards

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

If so, I don't know about it. I hope not

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Sadly not. I'd love that though, I would be so so so excited to get translations or fanart, and especially a podfic version made from my series

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Also no. I don't know if I'm cut out for that tbh, I'm very particular about the way I want things to be written. So I'm not really sure if I'm the most pleasant person to work with in that respect

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Stucky. Duh

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I am not writing 90k+ wips only to not finish and publish them. Everything I've worked on so far will be published, if it's the last thing I ever do

16. What are your writing strengths?

From the feedback I've received, I'd say it's digging into the deep, complex emotional states of my characters. I've also been told that the way I'm writing them all is very authentic and in character, and that I'm doing a good job with fleshing them out. Which is important for what I'm trying to do with the series, so that's also something I'm proud of

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I am way way too wordy sometimes. I constantly have to cut down my sentences and try to turn them into several shorter ones, bc they get too long or too repetitive. I'm also not entirely sure about the way I handle dialogue, which is kind of a shame since the whole project started with me wanting to practice doing that

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Yes yes yes!! I love it. I loved being able to bring in my native language (german). But even more than that, I like including languages I can kind of understand. I did some French, and luckily I had help with not just getting the meaning across but making it sound like actual native speakers would say it. With Spanish, which I don't speak at all, I asked a friend who's a native speaker, though that was only two lines or so. Also, when I was working on the series and the post-CATFA parts were coming up, I started doing some Russian on duolingo, to drop some phrases here and there. I do have some help there too, but not by a native speaker in this case. Still, it helps to have a second opinion of someone who actually learned this stuff in school

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Stucky is my one and only so far

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Like I said, I kind of think of them all as one big fic, so it's hard to judge. I'm proudest of the one that I'm publishing atm, Loosened Chains, simply bc it's my own post-CATWS fic and those are my personal favourite to read. Skill-wise, I think the best I did is one I haven't published yet, so I'll withhold that information for now

So... there you go! Thanks again for tagging me, guys, I really enjoyed this 🥰✌️

[meetmeatthecoda]

Somehow, even though I haven't watched in years - and am 0% tempted to tonight - I've still got this tiny sliver of anxiety about the ending of The Blacklist. Is that crazy? It's like I know they can't possibly wrap up the story in a way I'll be happy or satisfied with (and after the 8th season I mostly gave up caring about what happens in "canon")...and yet I'm sure when I hear about what happened in the finale it's going to feel like one last, poorly written gut punch.

How are you feeling about tonight?

Hiya, anon ❤️ Ugh, can I just say that you summed up my tangle of feelings absolutely perfectly? 🥺 More specifically, no, that is not crazy at all. I am in the same place as you with not caring about any of it anymore - not since 8.22 ripped my fucking heart out - & I literally can't think of anything I'd like to do less than watch the series finale. But even in the years since 8.22, there was still that awareness that the show was still out there somewhere, even if I only heard drips & drabs, & I scoffed at it all, & I didn't give a tiny rat's ass what happened. And while that remains true, the fact that it's OFFICIALLY ending (despite the fact that it ended for us two years ago) is... a little sobering. For me, I think it's a reminder of the pain & grief of The Terrible Awful™️ 😓

Also, yes, anon, I completely understand the sliver of anxiety & dread... I felt the same thing when I heard that they were finally blessedly cancelled & again when I realized the last ep was coming up... I can only speak for myself, but I think it's bc I still care at least a little about Red &, deep down, I still want a happy ending for him, even though I fully believe he can't have one without Liz. But I have zero faith in TPTB & I'm sure they will make it a nebulous, "cool" ending with no real answers, like always, or they'll confirm godforsaken R*darina, or they'll just kill off Red because they're incapable of writing anything else. And I'm sure every other aspect of it will be disappointing, like Ressler being the hero or something (LMFAO) & it will be awful all around. I have no other expectations & I suppose I have to either accept it and/or ignore whatever happens AND/OR consider it all a crap AU & Lizzington as our canon. But the way you describe it, "one last, poorly written gut punch", perfectly describes how I feel. I tell myself that none of it matters anymore - it's not like we're getting a Lizzington ending lolz - but I think I'm just afraid of being hurt again bc, for all my posturing, I know TPTB still have the power to do that, simply bc I still care just a tiny bit. Despite all the heartbreak I've already felt... a little remains of the show, the characters, & my heart for them to destroy 💔

Idk if that made any sense at all, anon, but I hope I communicated at least 3 things: 1) you're not alone in the way you feel, 2) the ending will probably hurt & ache & betray in just the way we're afraid of, & 3) we simply have to deal with the residual hurt, know that TPTB failed us & it's not our fault, &... cherish what we had by holding our Lizzington AU close to our hearts & keeping them alive through fanfic... at least, that's what I plan on doing. So, feel free to drop another ask if you want to talk more, anon, I would certainly love to commiserate & work through our feelings together tbh, & btw I'm very flattered you came to my ask box with this & wanted to know how I feel, thank you for being so sweet. In the meantime, hang in there, anon, you're definitely not alone, & much love to you, my friend ❤️

[bookofmirth]

i know a lot of people dislike nesta. but honestly as a fandom who are (most likely) majority women we should come together to discuss WHY ON EARTH nesta was made out to be the big bad villain in the pregnancy situation

it’s actually just unacceptable and sjm needs to talk about what possessed her to have rhys and cassian laugh about punishing nesta with that death hike and blame her for everything while rhys is … never held accountable for anything

i know rhys is her favourite bla bla bla but reading that hike scene made me so disgusting. are we just going to allow sjm to put NO BLAME on rhysands horrid behaviour and blame everything on nesta?

idk i need more people to be talking about why a woman was once again blamed for a man’s own actions. do i think nesta told her the right way? ABSOLUTELY NOT. and obviously she needed to be held accountable for that

but the way she was just humiliated, degraded and punished on that hike while rhys laughed with cassian over it was honestly vile and misogynistic

nesta told her in an awful way. she lashed out in a moment of anger. but she is not the villain in that situation and sjm trying to push that narrative for even a second is so disturbing when she has rhys come out squeaky clean. no one blames him for anything. no one reprimands or calls him out.

everyone head canons that feyre yelled at him or whatever but they were absolutely fine the next time we see them. he probably just gave her another sob story and she forgave him

i dont hate rhys at all really. he’s one of my favs. i think his treatment of nesta in acosf doesn’t make him a villain

but sjm making nesta at fault in that situation is just horrendous and we need to talk about sjms internalised misogyny as a fandom more and why acosf is praised as some sort of feminist book when the blatant misogyny is always so clear every time nesta is made as if she is some sort of horrible evil person that kills children in her free time while the inner circle are always so righteous and amazing and kind

idk sjm needs some objectivity in her writing and she immediately needs to get rid of that horrid bias towards rhys

I've been putting this off until I reread acosf, but it's been months so... fuck it.

I think there is a difference between how the characters interpret one another's actions, and how the reader does. We have the benefit of relative objectivity, especially when the narration is third person. Of course Rhys is going to be angry because Nesta made him look like the asshole (now I'm imagining him posting this whole scenario on AITA), but his anger is misplaced, and we the readers don't have to agree with his anger. We don't have to agree with anything that the characters are feeling, nor do their feelings necessarily mean that sjm condones them. I think it's a good idea to separate our feelings from the characters' feelings, as well as from the author's feelings. Those aren't the same, and one doesn't have to influence the other.

And tbh... I don't fault people for being mad at Nesta telling Feyre the way she did. She came in swinging with the intent to wound. It wasn't about fearing for her safety, or being concerned for her autonomy and agency. Nesta was pissed off and wanted to make someone else hurt. Even if the end result was that Feyre had knowledge about what was going on with her own body, Nesta did it with shady as fuck intentions. So yeah, that's an issue, like you said, but it's an issue that stems from her habit of lashing out, so it was On Brand for Nesta to have done something like that.

HOWEVER. Rhys is clearly at fault for getting this ball rolling in the first place. He's 100% a dick for hiding that information, he's 100% a dick for making everyone else hide that information for him, forcing them to choose between their High Lord and Lady, their High Lord and sister/bestie. (I still want to pay closer attention to who knew, in acosf, when I reread.) He's a dick for prioritizing his own fear above Feyre's ability to make informed medical decisions.

The IC also fucked up for keeping that information from her for Rhys's sake. No one came out of that situation looking like a saint, but I don't think that sjm intended for them to? Otherwise it wouldn't have been a conflict, it wouldn't have come at the climax of the story, and it wouldn't have worked as a way for Feyre and Nesta to reconcile, which is why I think it was done, personally. I don't think the main reason was to make Nesta into the asshole, or Rhys, that was just incidental as sjm was making her merry way along the plotline of "I need Feyre and Nesta to reconcile but idk how".

(I do think they could have reconciled without all this bullshit tho. It would have been so easy for Feyre to have KNOWN and decided to not shift and still end up almost dying. Or it would have been so easy for them to think the whole time that the pregnancy was fine and then have the birth be traumatic, and have Nesta enter and save them. We didn't have to go... there, making every character do shit that is so out of line with how they've treated each other before.)

Anyway, my point is that I think enough readers have interpreted Rhys as indeed being the asshole that we can question whether Nesta was intended to be "the bad guy" in that situation. I wish to fucking hell that we could see Feyre being mad at Rhys, I wish that we could see Mor/Cassian/Azriel tearing him a new asshole for putting them all in that shitty position. But that's the nice thing about being readers, we don't have to take things at face value, and we can also say "hm, I think the author intended X, but i'm gonna interpret Y." (As long as there is actual evidence for it, let's not get crazy.)

If anything, I think that acosf did Feyre dirty, which is really disappointing considering everything she's done for all the people around her.

[vypridae]

11 16 23

ask game🎉

!!!!! im gonna do this with both hazbin and bsd

11. if you're a writer or artist, what fic or piece of art are you proud of making?

oh my gooooood okay okay.

hazbin: right now im most proud of my most recent brokerdoll art and my uuuuuh the one i posted with val blowing smoke into vox's vents . the brokerdoll one just looks so goddamn good with the poses and shit and the staticmoth one i just am absolutely obsessed with how i did the effects (vox's screen glowing, the smoke, the electricity) it just looks really nice to me and ive never been able to do that before

bsd: for bsd i think the thing im most proud of rn is probably the fic i wrote where fyodor lives?? i posted it on ao3 and it was just one of my like top things i wrote because i looked up so much garbage for it, i spent so much time editing it and revising it to try to make it as good as i could and i love how it turned out so so much. float through the dim without the strength to move my favorite fic ive EVER wrote ever

16. a tiny detail in canon that you want more people to appreciate

hazbin: THE FUCKING SFX. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!!! LIKE !!!!! i love when their voices do The Thing and get demonic because they get angry or go demon form or whatever, i love that val squeaks when he's angry because moths do that, i love that vox sounds like he's blowing out his speakers when he yells because hes yelling loud, i love all the times they chose that al does NOT have his voice effect, I JUST LOVE THE SOUND DESIGN IN THIS GODDAMN SHOW. it just adds so much and its so bfbdhfbhbhf /pos

bsd: bsd as a whole should be appreciated tbh JAHHAFBGHAF but honestly i'd have to say like ... just the little background faces? the ones in the manga are cute but the ones that are in the anime are just fucking hilarious to me . dazai looks like a cat in half of them . they make every character look like a different genre of Cat with the background faces and i fucking love that so much because its just so adorable and i love when fiction does stuff like make silly scenes with a different art style than the normal one because it just keeps my attention There!!

23. the fandom you're curious about because of a mutual

ooho... tbh i really dont have any that i can think of ?? because im really bad at actually consuming media ?? two i can actually name tho are jjk (from several friends, which idk if counts as "mutual" cuz theyre irls) and chainsaw man from you soda (i think its csm . i think) . im actually awful at looking into media tho i have to be sat down chained to a chair eyes forced open to watch anything new that i havent seen before but like if i ever get the will to watch stuff those will probably end up being my first two !!!

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

idk how many people would even want to see this BUT i wanna yell about Leela and Brax so here's a list of all their scenes togethr/scenes pertainng to them that i can recall (pLEASE add on if i missed anything/ you have any additional thoughts!! i could talk about these two all day!)

right off the bat in Weapon of Choice when Leela is on the outskirts of the Citadel and Brax goes to bring her back (which is interesting in and of itself, bc usually i would imagine a chancellery guard would go do that so what made Brax decide to instead??), Leela kinda goes off at him bc she's hurting and instead of trying to actually explain what's going on Brax doesn't even try to argue he just says "we need you" which is great bc Leela has that instinctive desire to be needed and to help people and he's speaking right to that -- also as far as we know, this is Leela and Brax's first actual meeting in canon? it's implied that they know of each other, which makes sense, but it doesn't seem like they've ever directly interacted before: Brax seems almost slightly uncertain, and Leela is combative, but when he's gentle with her she's actually quite receptive

the literal next scene after that, where the OT4 is all in one room for the first time (they still kinda hate each other at this point but still !!!). Narvin explaining Gryben and being a real jerk about it and Leela (understandibly!) questions if Gryben is a prison world, and Brax (who to this point has been mostly quiet as Narvin and Romana brief Leela) jumps in to both clarify Narvin's previous xenophobic statements while also maintaining the inherent questionable/negative connotations

(btw it's actually pretty important to note that Romana self-edits herself a lot when talking to Leela, especially in the earlier seasons; you can actually hear her revising the things she says to put it in terms that she thinks Leela will better understand. and i mean she does it out of genuine consideration for her friend associate but it often comes across as varying levels of patronizing. Narvin also obviously "dumbs things down" when dealing with Leela early on, but like... Brax never does that on any level. the only difference i can tell in how he addresses Leela vs how he talks to anybody else is that he seems much more kind with her than almost anyone else???)

their conversation about the Matrix in The Inquiry: this is REALLY important (and if you've ever talked to me on ao3 i've probably gone off to you about it lol) because it's layered. they're talking about the Matrix but they're also not because in answering Leela's question Brax is making a very thinly veiled allegory (which he outright states a minute later) to Time Lord society/politicians/most importantly HIMSELF -- he's actually strangely open about his morals/beliefs in this scene and i'm living for it tbh -- and i find it very interesting that even though he does directly explain what he means ("how do you know all this?" / "because i am a politician.") he also leaves it for Leela to work out the implications. like it's a very nuanced conversation bc there's double meaning in it and most people on Gallifrey seem to think that Leela is tone-deaf and can't pick up on that stuff (even Romana sometimes oversimplifies things to her) but Brax totally just lets her take from it what she will bc he believes her intelligent enough to understand. he doesn't think her any lesser because she's human.

ALSO on a secondary note to the above: the fact that Leela has a question/needed clarification (sorry, haven't listened to this in a while i forget how it actually happened) and actively sought out Brax to talk to about it?? like she knows Romana better she could have gone to her but i feel like Leela kinda imprinted on Brax and someone she can go to for help if she needs it; maybe it's partly bc she knows he's under marginally less pressure than Romana is but also the truth of the matter is that Brax was the most genuinely helpful person to her in the previous stories and that probably means a lot to her (esp. bc he acts like the essence of everything she hates about Gallifrey but he doesn't treat her the way she would expect from that). btw this topic is gonna come up again in a hot minute

that part where Brax gives her that information that might help her re: the Andred thing, even though he really probably shouldn't have done that -- it kinda makes me think about what he must have been like with Theta tbh???

actually this is mostly my own conjecture but there's some neat stuff in Spirit bc during the *waves hand vaguely* bodyswap dream sequence thing, Romana is very "!!!! Brax can help us !!!" which is tecnically Leela brain talking, so like there's the implications of the stuff i've said above about Leela having this idea of Brax where she knows he's someone she can go to for help

can u tell i'm soft for them

Leela sounding really sad/distracted when she talks about how Brax isn't there YES i'm grasping at straws but a lot of this relationship really is conveyed through the voice acting bc of how little direct focus there is on the characters. there's actually several scenes in Mindbomb where she mentions him and she outright says that she misses him during her discussion with Matthias

that implied scene with them in Mindbomb!! i have a Lot of thoughts about that!!! it's all conjecture and fanfic fodder!!! but the reason i mention this is because it seems pretty meta that out of the whole Gally Gang, it's Leela who first sees Brax when he comes back to Gallifrey and in turn she's the first person (besides Matthias, i guess) that he sees upon his return?? idk i just feel like that's somehow a meaningful detail??? also her reaction of utter shock after spending the entire episode missing him and how worked up she is when she tries to tell Romana, like I desperately need to know what happened in this missing scene MR RICHARDS PLEASE TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED

Leela insisting on going with Brax when Pandora starts hurting him and their whole conversation there is just. so good. like they're both just so soft and then when Darkel comes in Leela instantly goes into protective mode. like they just have such an open relationship bc Brax doesn't even try to be all pretentious with her, like he doesn't even try to keep up any facades when he's with her he's just very genuine and it really says a lot about both of them -- Leela is so good at seeing people, like getting down to the core of who people are and what makes them them (which is why she's good for Romana, btw, bc Romana has a lot of identity issues) and Brax is so tangled up in who he presents himself as that he barely knows who he actually is anymore but Leela can see that and she makes it so he can truly be himself and he doesn't have to hide. also she's so gentle with him when they talk about Pandora, she's very caring and empathetic and wants to make sure he's okay and i am WEAK

it's been a hot while since i listened to Panacea but I think i remember Brax being really soft with Leela when he first brings the gang to the Axis, like just sounding really glad to see her

ok other than the fact that Brax is lowkey relatable in Reborn (daydreaming fanfic about yourself/people you know? simping for Mary Tamm Romana? yeah mood, my man) there's that scene where they're first appraoching the Citadel on the alt!Gallifrey and it seems like none of them, and Brax specifically, have seen it from the outside in a good long while bc he's very in awe and he tells Leela that he wishes she could see it and he sounds sO hEcKiNg sOFT oh my word-

and once again with Leela thinking of Brax as someone she trusts for help: in Dissassembled when everything is going to crap she straight-up says that she wants to go find Brax bc he'll know what to do/be able to help

at the beginning of Annihilation when Romana is depressed and questioning if Brax truly was her friend and Leela INSTANTLY, NO HESITATION assures her that he was; i lost where i had her exact lines written down but she actually kinda goes off to make sure Romana gets the point

literally forcing myself to talk about this bc it makes my brain stall out but like,,, the Brax Hound in Annihilation,,, Leela being like "goodbye, Braxiatel... again" she sounds so sad and like UGH i always kinda forget how sad it actually is for them to lose Brax in Dissassembled bc like, it was so sudden and they didn't get to say goodbye and Leela is always losing people and i have many many feels about this scene and how all that emotion is made very clear in how they each respond to the Hound (might make a separate post abt this later if anyone is interested ::eyes::)

Enemy Lines is utter bullcrap about these two and I will never stop being salty about how they not only sidelined the very good, very subtle friendship they had in s1-4, but they??? made Leela acutally not trust Brax??? when literally this entire time she's been the one person who probably genuinely trusts him the most?? what the heck, David

I haven't heard TW3 or 4 yet but i'm assuming there's nothing worthwhile in those with regards to this duo (correct me if i'm wrong tho lol, i would love to be mistaken in this assumption)

TL;DR Leela and Brax mututally imprinted on each other and have probably the most open and healthy relationship within the OT4 and it is an absolute CRIME that nobody besides Gary Russell and Justin Richards cared enough to actually build on it in canon

[antiloreolympus]

8 Anti LO Asks

1. tbh i just think minthe's design just looks better for a queen. she genuinely looks intimidating and regal, meanwhile persephone just looks like a baby who cries at the drop of a hat. thats not to say baby-faced people cant be taken seriously, but rachel has made her too immature and childish looking (as well as canon making her stuck at 19-but-looks-even-younger forever with an even more childish personality) that i just cant buy her as any sort of authority figure.

2. i think thats also it. rachel really wants there to be drama, but at the same time she also refuses to actually let them suffer, so it just comes across as shallow. persephone wont see punishment for killing mortals (who were at fault for being killed, very cool), she was only on the run for maybe a day or two but is now living it up with hades, only like three people dont support hxp, etc. LO wants to be a dramatic epic without having the stakes, so it just ends up as superficial instead.

3. to that one anon about an LO stan saying apollo was obsessed with some princess or whatever: there is a version of that mostly known by parthenius of nicaea which was just combining the daphne and hyacinthus' myths together to make it No Homo™️ to have apollo only love daphne and basically every mythology editor and historian sees that version as some odd ball take that isnt legitimate in the greek myths. im not surprised an LO stan takes it as fact tho, they think LO is factual too.

4. there are bad apples in every fandom, but LO fans in particular seem convinced Greece doesn't exist anymore and RS get free reign to claim the mythology and remove it from its entire culture because "its theirs now" and I can't stand that mentality. It's should be seen as an honor she gets to play around with the stories, not claim it as her own for her to do as she pleases, and it's awful the fans encourage it, especially since LO is a damaging piece of work even outside of mythology circles.

5. its silly LO set up persephone's trauma via demeter as this deep set horror (the locked greenhouse esp was setting it up as that) and yet when we were actually shown demeter's "torture" it was them bickering over her going to college and thats it? like demeter is actually a super doting mother and only failed in making her daughter a spoiled brat and never letting her face consequences, and yet she's framed as evil for this, but hades does the same thing and he's romantic for it? please 😒.

-----FP Spoilers-----

(Please read the message at the bottom)

6. ya know if hades is lying that hes known persephone longer than a few weeks isnt that him knowing this relationship is bad and theyre rushing things but hes trying to save face? like idk maybe its just me but if your relationship is built off lusting after her in a submissive position, yourself controlling the woman including her finances and where she lives, and lying to others and keeping things from her so she never questions you, then the relationship is a no-go 🤷🏿‍♀️

7. if hades literally has to lie that hes known persephone longer than a month to try and excuse his relationship to her and to try and get her out of trouble then 1) thats an automatic admittance of guilt that hes refusing to acknowledge, but also 2) lying on the stand is illegal. like what lawyer is he if he just lies to get her off?? thats not showing he cares, it shows hes a corrupt person who should also be stripped of power along with her.  i wouldn't want a liar as an absolute king, TBH.

8. im kinda confused tho? why would he lie about the time? zeus was right there when hades saw persephone for the first time? unless they mean the tapes the fates got them? which even the most dedicated LO fans didnt like since it was a bit of a stupid retcon (also im not sure persephone was even over the age of 18 then so thats concerning) also they apparently forgot each other right after that meeting anyway so?? whats the point??

Regarding #6-8

I've been trying not to say it out right because fp spoilers but a lot of people are confused so I'll explain while trying to avoid more spoilers:

Hades says to Apollo that he's noticed that Apollo has been brutalizing his wife (aka Persephone) for months. Apollo calls him out on that by saying something along the line of "She's your wife now?". Hades then says he misspoke (by calling her his wife). Either they got married of screen or he genuinely misspoke which is still very suspicious.

By months, Hades probably just overexaggerating. LO takes place over the span of March - early April so that also might be why he says months. However, he really should’ve said weeks.

I highly suggest using zahard/./top (remove the slashes) if you want to read the fp for yourself and don't want to pay.

[yourturntosimp]

safaranger headcanons? i love them sm...

A/N: yes hello i had this formatted so long ago i js couldnt get myself to log in and post it JHGFDFGHJ neways my head got too full and i needed smth to do so here it is!! these were rlly fun to write ngl TWs: none tbh theyre js vibin- mention of toxic traits (overstepping boundaries), safalin drugs the valentines chocolate but it’s for the sake of creativity ok, ig they're kinda yandere if you squint? idk i felt like their canon personalities speak for themselves in terms of yan JHGFDCFVGH, not much besides that

♡ "nerd" /r

♡ they call eachother saffy and ray bc it's CUTE OKAY-

♡ they go out at like 4 in the morning and get 7/11 slushies

♡ safalin gets her blue raspberry and just watches as ranger tries to fill up his cup with every flavor of slushie

♡ this is their usual date as in it happens like three times a week

♡ they go on nicer dates sometimes

♡ like eating awful cardboard pizza in a parking lot

♡ or sitting on the edge of a highway bridge together

♡ taking turns shoving or scaring eachother to see if they could actually get the other to fall off of said bridge and into oncoming traffic

♡ they're so romantic, i know--

♡ safalin is generally very mousey when she's not being murdery, obv, so they can't go on many loud dates, or dates where talking to other people is a must

♡ ranger is generally very loud, so they can't go to many quiet dates either

♡ like. study-date at a library? he's already been banned bc he won't shut up and insists on yelling while he's there

♡ okay, how about the movie theater? wouldn't that work for both?

♡ no.

♡ the answer is no.

♡ he will either watch the movie by himself or just google the ending and twists, just so that he can yell EVERYTHING out in the theater when the movie's about to start

♡ it's awful, and he relishes in the absolute anguish of the other movie-goers

♡ but it's also kinda cute how he grabs safalin's hand and absolutely books it to the exit to avoid the onslaught of popcorn and drinks being thrown at them

♡ and safalin is a sucker for soft shenanigans, so needless to say, this happens often

♡ "but zuzu," i hear you asking because i am omnipotent and i know all, "wouldnt they get banned after a couple times?"

♡ and to that i say,

♡ yes

♡ they are banned from every movie theater in the city, actually-

♡ this is no problem, however

♡ and it ties into another one of their dates

♡ roadtrip time!!

♡ they take turns driving, but they mostly take off-road, probably-illegal paths

♡ why? they both get awful roadrage

♡ and also ranger likes to gas the car to the fastest it can go

♡ they also take turns with songs from their playlists, though ranger sings very loudly to his

♡ when safalin's not driving, she's either asleep, talking to ranger about bizarre medical cases off the top of her head, or rambling about the human brain

♡ that was just me being excessively roundabout in saying that the poor girl has motion sickness </3

♡ ranger's medical knowledge only goes as far as "haha funny advil go brr brr brr", so uh

♡ damn, ig safalin's just gonna have to deal with it for the next 3 hours until it's time for a bathroom break

♡ ranger will stop the car for a quick break if it gets too bad, but saf would personally rather not risk being flung through the fucking windshield-

♡ remember how this all started by them getting banned from all the cinemas?

♡ yeah they rlly drove all the way out just to do that same shit at a different one in a whole other town

♡ ranger is a surprisingly good cook, and safalin is limited to cooking different types of noodles

♡ but ranger, as a good chef, uses his powers for evil

♡ hot sauce. hot sauce everywhere

♡ safalin has her knife collection, ranger has his hot sauce collection. they are hazards.

♡ one day he may just.

♡ get bored and fuck around, yk?

♡ "babe i made you a sandwich!"

♡ "...honey ily but why are there jellybeans in the middle of this ham & swiss sandwich?"

♡ valentines day is a mess.

♡ they divide off the sides of the kitchen and refuse to speak with eachother

♡ you'd think they're fighting but no, they're just making surprise chocolate

♡ safalin sticks with normal chocolate ♡ until she mixes different types of sedatives and medicinal ingredients in them.

♡ for the sake of creativity!

♡ and then she decides that she wants them to be flower-shaped

♡ and she can't go out to the store and buy molds, no, that would make it too easy for ranger to see when he's being terribly un-stealthy at peeking over the cardboard barricade separating the two of them

♡ homegirl starts just.

♡ using piping bags to make petals. no words for this tbh--

♡ her hands are limp the next day, she can't even turn on the lights

♡ ranger is...also creative with his

♡ there are lots of chocolates, but they're all....weirdly shaped

♡ and when safalin finds out that a good half of them have sour gummy worms and skittles inside, that's ample explanation

♡ the rest? hot sauce

♡ this may seem like an unfair tradeoff, but i raise to you an opposition:

♡ ranger eats a single one of safalin’s chocolates and fucking explodes in hives- ♡ he insists on continuing to eat them, but he passes out after the third one is down his throat-

♡ safalin's chocolates were sharp and also drugged

♡ the weird flavored chocolates and the drugged chocolates balance eachother out in terms of awfulness, so it's a fair match-

♡ and also it's the thought that counts, yadayada they're hopelessly in love, whateverrr

♡ they don't fight too often, but when they do it's usually over one thing

♡ boundaries, yayyyy

♡ ranger wants to do everything fast, loud, and spontaneous

♡ this means things like suddenly running up and tackling safalin, or a short trip to walmart turning into a drive to the next state

♡ safalin has alot of problems with stuff like this

♡ she doesn't like sudden impact, she doesn't really like sudden anything

♡ she wants at least a warning beforehand, but ranger being ranger says "lol ok" and proceeds to completely forget within the next 3 seconds

♡ this sets safalin into a place of "you're saying ok but you keep doing it, do my boundaries not even matter to you or what?"

♡ so this is in fact a problem

♡ safalin's end of fault arises with bad communication and clingyness

♡ if she wants a hug, she'll want it immediately, but she won't say anything about it for fear of being a bother

♡ and then she'll get sad about it, because "i want a hug so bad rn but what if im being annoying aaaaaaaaaaaaa"

♡ and then ranger will just have to sit there trying to figure out why his gf is sulking

♡ so if/when he figures it out, he gives her a hug, right?

♡ but then she wants to be like that all day

♡ and ranger can deal with like....an hour, two hours tops

♡ but,,,,,,all day???

♡ safalin doesn't care about things like eating and using the bathroom

♡ "can't you just wait? just like...5 more minutes, please?"

♡ and when he can't bc

♡ bro's hungry, or he has to pee, cmon dude-

♡ she gets all sulky again, and it repeats

♡ for basically all day, every day, 24/7 all year long-

♡ it’s at a point where safalin gets sad when ranger wants to go somewhere else that isn’t with her

♡ so this is also a problem

♡ they're working on it

♡ they're both struggling, but they're trying

♡ ranger yells as a warning while he's charging at safalin, and safalin recognizes the importance of an eating schedule and needing the bathroom. healthy habits, people-

♡ yk if you consider their personalities without the opposites attract ship trope, it could be tough to see how they work together

♡ and honestly, yeah, they don't even know how they started dating eachother, one day they just said uwu at the same time and then they were a couple ig--

♡ but they balance eachother out pretty well

♡ ranger is good at conveying how he's feeling through body language but less with actual language it comes out as just a string of profanities

♡ safalin's body language is also reserved so you can't rlly read her, but her actual language is pretty good at conveying things

♡ so the combination of the two means that safalin is usually the one to help ranger articulate his words, while ranger is the one to clarify the connotation safalin's trying to convey in her words

♡ their communication is (mostly) smooth, and they can read eachother pretty well

♡ AND they're a sadistic murdercouple who also happen to be a pair of the two absolute biggest nerds you could find

♡ so really, what's better than that?

♡ nothing.

♡ they are the peak.

♡ they have an entire cult dedicated to them.

♡ viva la safaranger

[onlyhereforangst]

10. 11. 16. 20.

10. Top three favourite fic tropes.

how do I answer angst for every single one 🤩 sike let’s see I do love whump (hurt/comfort may fall into this category for me but there’s usually not much comfort because I’m shit at finishing my series and so it’s just hurt before the happy ending WHOOPS).

gotta have me some angst smut oooooof that is a top tier trope right there. it’s so fun to be so mad. at. the. other. person. but. also. why. am. I. so. attracted. to. you. FUCK let’s fuck. (this typically goes hand in hand with the “enemies” to lovers type deal which yes but I do like a pit stop or at least a backtrack to friends then lovers again).

and finally, the love is requited they’re just idiots is gold. the angst that can be woven in is chefs kiss give me all of it forever and ever.

11. Three tropes that are fine but overrated.

literally any AU ever 💀 i'll probably get canceled over this take but AUs are overrated imo - other people can write them, that's fine. you will rarely see me write a true AU, if you look closely enough it's just a bit of canon divergence typically lmao the reason i like the characters are usually tied to the universe they live in

there. was. only. one. bed. like don't get me wrong, this one is fun but also it's just meh. people hype it up and idk feels overdone. i only want it if it's chock full of angst like helnik in SaB.

another one that might get me shunned is secret relationship. idk like it’s just always fluffy and that’s so far from my vibes, we don’t mesh. people love it (& fake dating which isn’t as overrated ig) but well, it’s fine. not my cuppa.

16. Are one-shots really underrated?

Ok so imma say yes, absolutely. And then I’m gonna rant about it.

I feel like there’s been this shift across the world of fanfic that has created this idolization of long multichaptered (or series) fics and a sort of shame/inadequacy impressed upon those writers who stick with one-shots, short or long. It’s always “omg will you continue this” and “when’s the next chapter” and “could you do a part two.” Like sometimes, sometimes a fic doesn’t have to hit 100k or 10k or even 1k to be complete. There can be beauty in less is more, leaving a universe “open” is not some cardinal sin that one-shot authors should repent for because we didn’t feel the need to suck it dry. This is not to say multichap or longer series are bad!!! God I have a couple of my own lmao. Just that not every fic has to be that. A well-written, flowing prose that intertwines with an intriguing plot in less than 2k that ends there and ends well- whether open to interpretation or tied with a bow- is like hitting the goddamn jackpot for me. I honestly don’t read fic much at all anymore because I quite simply do not have the time to read these 10k+ individual chapters that people feel the need to write (imo that pressure has been arbitrarily placed on us as the “ability” to write these long ass fics is deemed “better” or “stronger” than shorter one-shots). I am far more impressed when a writer can blow me away with 500 words and I’ve run the gamut of emotions and reeling for more but also know I am perfectly capable of envisioning what that more is in my head.

Once again, absolutely nothing against writers of novels people call multichap fics, in awe that you have the patience tbh 😂 but do I think the concept of a one-shot and leaving it at a one-shot is underrated? Yes a thousand freaking percent, yes. And that’s not just the I have a wip list out my ass that I now wish were just one shots in me talking 💀 lmao

20. Do you work on a single project or many at the same time? How does that work for you?

LOL well. I rarely if ever write two fics simultaneously, that sounds way too confusing for me. I will occasionally hop from one idea to another and frankly that’s happened way more because I can’t seem to finish and publish a single gd fic lately. But typically, I work on a fic by itself and then move on—not necessarily finish the entire series (see above) but I can’t work on two fics truly at the same time. Currently nothing is working for me though so, rip 🥹

talk dirty writer asks with me

[bard-llama]

The Taint of the Common Man (Meve/Reynard/Gascon)

Okay, so I finally tried to play Thronebreaker again and it turned out that my comptuer/steam/whatever had actually kept my save!!! So I didn’t have to start over, which was good, because the beginning was kinda boring, which is why it took me so long to continue. But it’s also kinda bad, because now I do not remember anything about Gascon’s introduction beyond “they fought, Meve won and threatened to hang him next time”. Which like... I could probably make it work, but knowing the details seems important for writing Meve’s feelings and reactions to Gascon. 

Anyway, this is a continuation of the thoughts that this lovely post inspired, and because I’m me, those thoughts grew a plot. Both the link and the rest of the story involve a VERY dubcon/noncon premise, so please engage only if you can. Also, spoilers for Chapter 1 of Thronebreaker (aka major plot things that happen once you reach Lyria’s capital).

Okay, once again: HUGE WARNING for Dubcon/Noncon stuff. Like, it’s how the story starts and it’s gonna be something dealt with through the whole story. My idea is basically a story that starts with Meve losing EVERYTHING, and then, through her quest to reclaim her throne, she learns how to be a better queen to ALL of her people, not just the noblemen. End game is intended to be Meve/Reynard/Gascon, but tbh, idk how they get there. Like, at first, Meve and Reynard hate Gascon A LOT, so they have to learn to love him and that takes time.

I’m kinda still learning about these characters as I think this through, so apologies if you find them ooc or if I contradict canon (without meaning to. Sometimes i do it gladly lol)

So we start with Meve returning to the Lyrian castle, only to find that her son and the Council of Peers (read: ruling council that advises the monarch and consists entirely of peerage aka nobility) have betrayed her and surrendered to Nilfgaard. She’s thrown in a dungeon and though her son orders that she is not to be harmed, she knows enough about reality to know they’d never let her live. 

She’s on guard, waiting for the guards to come and kill her - only when footsteps approach, it’s not the guards at all, but the fucking Duke of Dogs, the leader of the Strays of Spalla, a gang of bandits that plague merchant caravans and noblemen alike. Gascon, the proclaimed Duke of Dogs, opens the cell door and steps in and tells Meve that he’s freeing her, because the Council of Peers used him and his men and he can’t abide betrayal. But there’s one condition - Meve has to ask him, all nice and polite-like.

Meve, of course, refuses, because she’s nothing if not prideful. So Gascon closes the cell door and leans back against it and says something like, “guess we won’t be leaving, then. Unless, of course, you’d prefer to do something else on your knees,” or some sort of implication like that that makes it clear he’s suggesting that she blow him in exchange for release. And Meve is furious and her pride cuts at her, but dammit, she has no hope of freeing Lyria from Nilfgaard’s grasp while stuck in here. So she goes to her knees. And Gascon is surprised - from his view, she could’ve just begged him??? - but like... the QUEEN is on her KNEES for HIM, a (decidedly un)common bandit who she’d threatened to hang not a week prior. 

Also, I think there’s also a part of Gascon that blames Meve for the massacre of his family. According to the wiki, the year before King Reginald (Meve’s husband) died, Gascon’s family revolted against the king and were soundly squashed, with Gascon at a mere 8 years old the only one to survive. From there, he fell in with the Strays of Spalla and eventually became their leader. Remember this bit, ‘cause I’m definitely gonna come back to it. But anyway, Gascon doesn’t like Meve. He’s doing this because it’s the right thing to do and a little because having the queen indebted to him feels awfully good. Also, Meve is good with her mouth.

So good, in fact, that she drives him crazy, taking him to the edge and teasing him and teasing him and teasing him until his legs are shaking and the cell door is all that’s holding him up. I don’t think he actually begs, because his men are around the cell watching this, but he has to bite his lip hard to keep from doing so.

For Meve, there are many complicated feelings happening. On the one hand, this is humiliating and degrading and it’s shameful that she’s fallen so far as to be forced to service a fucking bandit and even worse that his men are SEEING this happen.

On the other hand... look, Meve was widowed 8 years ago. Somewhere in there (or before?), she comes to love and trust Reynard - who her husband, upon his deathbed, told her that he alone could be trusted. But she hasn’t made a move, because it wouldn’t be appropriate and she doesn’t want to ruin things between them. 

Point is, it’s been 8 years since she’s had sex and she has had cause to desire some sex. Queens can probably get amazing sex toys, but like, an actual cock? it’s been AGES since she’s been able to play with one and she kind of missed it. 

Additionally, in an effort to combat her shame and humiliation, she decides to flip the script on them. Gascon wants her to blow him? Fine, she’ll blow him so well that he utterly falls apart. And maybe she’s a little of practice, but Gascon is young anyway, he probably doesn’t even know better lmao. (But later, she’s oddly grateful that she had this chance for ‘practice’ before it actually mattered)

Eventually, she lets Gascon come - or maybe he uses his grip on her hair to pull her onto him? (She may decide to make it a good blowjob, but that doesn’t mean he’s earned deepthroating) - and the Strays, who have gone from hooting and hollering over the queen’s humiliation to flushed and aroused at the skillful way she destroyed their boss, let them out of the cell. 

Next, they go to the city jail to release Reynard, who was arrested as soon as the coup happened because everyone knows that Reynard’s loyalty to the crown is absolute. Reynard is sitting against the wall and he smiles brightly at the sight of her, so Meve strides into the cell to unshackle him. So of course Gascon, who now stands in front of the door once more, suggests something like, “such faithful loyalty deserves ample reward, does it not?”

And Meve is conflicted. Because AGAIN, the Strays of Spalla are watching them and Gascon is trying elicit sexual favours from her. But also, it’s Reynard. She’s wondered for so long what Reynard’s cock would be like and how he would treat her. And, she justifies to herself, she was already forced to give a piece of filth like Gascon a blowjob. Reynard most certainly deserved better.

So she orders him to stand and goes to her knees and is almost eager to get him in her mouth. And Reynard is caught entirely off guard here, because he was ready to skewer Gascon for the mere suggestion, and then she’s ACTUALLY DOING IT!!! And it’s not like she’s alone in having thought about it, but he always assumed that he would be the one on his knees. So for her to do so... he’s awed and a little horrified that he is party to degrading his queen in this way. And also aroused. REALLY fucking aroused, because Meve is on her knees for him! And unlike Gascon, he has earned deepthroating. Fortunately, he’s already leaning against the wall, so he doesn’t collapse. 

If Gascon hadn’t had the most intense orgasm of his life like 10 minutes previously, he’d definitely try to see if he could join in, even though they really don’t have the time for that sort of thing. But suffice it to say, Gascon remembers each and every moment Meve spent on her knees vividly.

Reynard comes (and Gascon is reluctantly pleased to have a companion in the wait-you-want-me-to-fight-after-how-hard-I-came!? club) and they all leave the dungeons - and get found by a patrol of guards. They have to fight their way out and Meve thinks Gascon managed to slip away - right up until he comes to their aid with his whole crew. With Gascon’s help, their motley crew flees the capital of Lyria (largely by traveling thru the sewers).

That night, they set up camp somewhere and instead of the royal supplies she’s used to, all they have is whatever the Strays of Spalla had, which means stolen and/or threadbare, ‘cause they’re not exactly living the high life. And Meve knows she should get some rest, but she can’t stop thinking about what happened in the prison(s) and she decides that, as long as Reynard was willing, why shouldn’t she pursue the man she loved? 

So she goes to the mess tent and it’s predictably full of drunken soldiers - well, drunken warriors. This rabble didn’t deserve to be called soldiers - and clusters of people playing dice and cards. She spots Reynard at one of the card tables - but sitting across from him is none other than the motherfucking Duke of Dogs. Half-formed plans to kiss Reynard drown under the flood of fury she feels and she summons Reynard to her, ignoring Gascon, who definitely tries to flirt with her. At this moment, she has VERY conflicted feelings about Gascon and most of them are negative. But also, they need him. She is very much aware that his men are the only reason she has any chance at all of taking back her home.

Anyway, Meve confronts Reynard, who explains that he doesn’t trust Gascon as far as he can throw him and whatever mischief Gascon is up to, whatever he thinks he can gain from helping them, Reynard is ready for the doublecross. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer is very much his philosophy, compounded by the way he has learned not to reveal - well, much at all. People probably find him very... is softspoken the word? Not like he speaks soft, but like, he doesn’t say a lot. He learned to keep his mouth shut after he managed to survive insulting the king, so he plays things pretty close to his chest and people find it hard to guess what he’s thinking. 

Gascon, for his part, is helping Meve because it’s the right thing to do (and a little because again, queen indebted to you? Very handy). He’s probably aware that Reynard doesn’t like him, even if Reynard acts friendly enough? Like, literally Reynard is so loyal to Meve that he was imprisoned and she was sure of his fealty. And Gascon has found ways to rationalize what he did i.e. raping Meve - she could’ve just begged! She had a choice! - but even though Reynard got a blowjob out of it, I’m sure Gascon would assume that Reynard would want him dead for the blowjob that he got.

I don’t precisely know what Reynard and Gascon’s relationship is like during this, tbh. I think it’ll be Meve’s POV, so she may have a limited view, but I think it’s definitely complicated. Made worse, of course, by both Meve and Reynard beginning to see the redeeming qualities in Gascon. But that comes later.

For now, Meve accepts Reynard’s explanation and knowing that he would do anything to protect her soothes some of the ruffled feathers from a very trying day. So she decides to subtly ask him something like, “come to my tent?” that like, isn’t blatant ‘cause they’re surrounded by drunk men, but also is pretty clear. And Reynard’s eyes widen and it hurts so much to do, but he tells her no. She’s had an intense fucking day - betrayed by her son and court, imprisoned, forced to give multiple blowjobs and work with lowly bandits and shit. Like, she’s been through a lot and he knows that she’s not able to be in her right mind. So he says no, part of him hoping that if she actually means it, she’ll try again in the morning.

But what Meve hears is no, not interested. Which makes this the third time today that she gets to be humiliated in front of the fucking Strays of Spalla, because not only is the man she loves rejecting her, but like... is he rejecting her because she’s tainted now? How is she supposed to interpret him enjoying a blowjob from her one hour and rejecting her advances the next? 

And the taint... I think that’ll be a theme in this fic (thus the title). Like, at the height of her power before the fall, Meve was “pure” - which in this case means firmly assured that she was right in everything, as she was always destined to be. There’s no questioning of the world order or if she’s qualified to lead. She simply knows that she is.

But now she’s been betrayed, her nobility and her title ripped from her grasp. And not only that, but she’s demeaned herself with a common thug! She even says it in the game - “look how far we’ve fallen, to be surrounded by peasants and deserters and bandits”. For her, this entire situation is almost like “being common” is reaching for her, trying to pull her in, and she wants to resist, because she’s always been taught that the nobles are BETTER than the common people. But as she works with her army of thugs and commoners, she starts to learn that poor people are people too (gee, who’da thunk it?)

That journey takes time, though, and we’re barely at the start of it! 

So, Meve gets rejected. She’s hurt and humiliated and at the moment doesn’t have a kind word for ANYBODY. She maybe cries herself to sleep and hates herself for being weak.

Then morning comes and she has her regular strategy meeting with Reynard, as she did every morning. And it’s awkward and Reynard is as silent as usual, always so deliberate about every word that leaves his mouth. And she wants to ask, but yesterday’s humiliation was enough. She can’t repeat it.

So even though they SHOULD’VE gotten together, they fail to, because Meve is stubborn and prideful and Reynard is closelipped and proper. And Meve kind of hates even the sight of Gascon, but since he IS the leader of the army that is currently only at her disposal because of him, she invites him to join the strategy meetings every morning. If Gascon helps provide a buffer between her and Reynard, so much the better.

Okay, I don’t actually know how everyone ACTUALLY gets together, BUT as they travel through the countryside of Lyria towards the Aedirnian border, a couple of important things happen.

1) Meve sees the real conditions of the people living in her realm. Even in areas that the lords had reported prosperous, people were starving and dying. She starts to learn that these are her people too.

2) Meve and Reynard get to know Gascon. Not just over their strategy meetings, but as they observe him and the Strays of Spalla they (Meve especially) begin to realize that their judgements were all wrong. Because yes, the Strays of Spalla are bandits. They steal from wealthy merchants and even wealthier nobles. That had always been enough to know before.

But now they come to know that that stolen food and blankets and supplies and coin went to the starving peasants in these lands. Hell, most of the Strays are from these areas. These are their people, even if Meve hasn’t figured out that they’re hers too.

Anyway, idk how they get together or how the story ends - is it with them getting together? Getting to Vengerberg to ask for help to reclaim their home? Ousting Villem and taking Lyria back? idk, I haven’t even gotten that far in the game yet lol.

So yeah, here’s a very long synopsis of a story that manages to have almost no porn and lots of angst, despite being inspired by a purely porny post lmao.

[mrs-nate-humphrey]

I am curious: what are your favorite scenes from your main ships (date, dair, derena...)?

scenes involving milo don't count, sorry!

for me, it's really not just scenes, but body language & just in general, how they are with each other, you know? dan and serena grin at each other and hug SO much, you can tell that being around each other in s1 made them both so happy, and even after that glow fades the way they look for comfort in each other... top level stuff. the way blair looks at dan... we never see her as radiant at any other point. she was not looking at anyone else like this. and gosh, dan and nate. they're both so comfortable around each other that there's absolutely nothing weird about like. discussing that one ex girlfriend whom they both share AND both were in love with. there is literally no other duo who trusts/enjoys each other's company so much that they're comfortable in a love triangle. (probably because they're more in love with each other than with the girl, but that is not the point. or is it?)

anyway, more specific answers. under the cut. this is one of the longest answers i've ever written on this blog possibly but you KNEW that would happen when you sent this ask, didn't you? (affectionate)

derena: i tagged one of my ds reblogs as 'the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one' and like. look at them! this hug from 1x10 kills me in the best way. they are both the literal embodiment of :D when they see each other! i love 1x10 as a whole moment, their entire thing at cotillion is so sweet and they're both so happy. the fact that he is talking about his chemistry teacher during this kiss in 1x07. that bit at the end of 1x05 when they talk about their siblings (being there for their sibling because of fallible parents being a derena parallel makes me simultaneously really sad and really soft, tbh). 1x05 gives me SO MUCH SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT but the way they walk off together arms around each other does something to me - these are two people who are still getting to know each other but who really like what they see, and who trust each other and. are just having a good time together! back when derena was my OTP, the 1x11 "your story's about me?" was absolutely a fave, too, and i still adore it, albeit in a different, more nostalgic way. i like a dan who writes cute stories about serena. no empty shell sabrina van skoneker bullshit. she is so much like you, daniel! you'd be shattered if she did this to you. don't do this to her. tbh, most derena moments from s1 are just A+ romance. the bit in 2x02 in the jitney is so funny, they're SO bad at being exes. the bit in... 3x03 i think?? i don't remember... on the contrary. when they're talking about dan's fling w/ georgina and serena's relationship with carter, the ease with which they talk and how happy/supportive they are of each other's new relationships... yeah. love to see it.

i also really like any instance of them having honest/open conversations. 1x13, talking about how serena is concerned about blair. 1x08, serena talking to dan about feeling jealous of vanessa. this bit from the touch of eva or whatever that episode is. 4x04 i think. this is the conversation everyone is trying to get dan to have and he's avoiding EVERYONE else. derena interactions in 3x21 (can't find a gif right now) - the fact that dan is with serena when her dad abandons them, the fact that he goes all the way there with her. 2x07, "i'm really glad you're nate's friend. he really needs someone like you right now" (though i'm cheating, that's technically a d/n moment too klhdflkgf). there's a bit in s4 where he's advising her against having an affair w/ colin, i don't remember the ep number, but the way he takes her side so easily and naturally and puts due blame/responsibility solely on her professor... yeah. 4x10 i think this ep is?? idk. but like my tags say, im sentimental about this moment because while what dan was doing was irresponsible, sneaking her out of the ostroff, he was the only person in this episode who was actually talking to her and listening to her and taking her seriously. nobody else was doing that!!

i probably have more moments i'm not remembering, but we're only 1/3 into this answer and LOOK AT THE WORDS, good lord, i'm sorry.

dair: my favourite dair episode is hands down despicable b (5x21) which i have heard is an uncommon answer. i just love the conflict resolution of it all, okay!!! 1x04 & 2x08 are like. standard answers any dair shipper will give, and i'm no different. i love dan being able to give blair advice and blair actually taking his advice even though they're not friends yet!!! be right back, yelling at the intimacy of it all!! 5x16, with their getting together (this little kiss and dan being so startled by it), blair admitting a flaw she genuinely does have and dan saying it's not awful because it's her, which is just. romance at its finest. those vows, good lord. 5x18.... they're having fun! blair showing up at the loft in lingerie for dan... the delight on her face.... (i know this moment blows up in their face but when she's there she looks so happy and proud of herself and this was like THE moment when i was like. oh. dair is really the heart of this garbage show huh).

i think for me, the thing that really sells dan & blair together is the serena of it all. both of them love serena more fiercely than anyone else, and that is what brings them together. (fwiw i definitely think nate loved serena this much and this deeply, too; the writers just wanted to pop the serenate balloon, which even i think was extremely unnecessary and ooc.) but (& i have so much meta about this) their relationship grows beyond serena. their entire s4 arc is SO good. i love how comfortable around each other they are, in such an adult way, in the sense of like. they both bring so much stability to each other? morgan tagged this edit "the marrieds" and like. yeah. b offers to help him shave. they're having breakfast & reading the paper together.

all the love declarations we got that weren't a simple 'i love you.' be your charming wonderful self (how could she not love you/ tell me what would make you happy, dan) i told chuck he doesn't have my heart anymore (you spent your life earning the keys to set you free when you were free all along!!!!) dan's pep talk to blair in 5x21 (already linked a gifset earlier, here's another one if you want i guess). there's definitely more... but honestly, the way the dair arc was executed was so good - while i do have my complaints, i also think keeping those aside, it was SO close to perfect. i love dan & blair's banter and gradually becoming closer and closer and closer. it felt very organic and real and GOSH. the way penn & leighton looked at each other while playing dan and blair...... it's just SO MUCH.

date: this is the hardest, because it's. *screams*. maybe you saw me losing my mind over those 2 seconds of nate handing dan a waffle? i love almost every scene with these two, even the hellish s6 breakup scene. my favourite episode for d/n (& also favourite gg episode in general) is 2x06 - i love the homoerotic subtext of it all. nate pretending to be dan because dan's name is the first name that came to his head. dan flirting w/ nate while tied to that thing, in his underwear. them becoming friends. and 2x07 as a follow-up to that! dan getting nate to live in the loft with the humphreys for a while. i am so soft.

4x09 is a terrible episode in general, especially for serena my beloved, but the d/n moments in that one? off the CHARTS. this weird overly macho flirting, in some ways THE most iconic d/n line. this entire finish each other's sentences nonsense. someone (i think it was ana but im not sure?) compared the energy of those scenes i just linked to the book blairenate love triangle resolution, blairena choosing each other over nate in the books, date choosing each other over serena in the show (if only! RIP.) after the saints & sinners ball, this cute little moment of 'youre the only one who understands me. please tell me they went home together. i mean. how could they not have.

3x07, them watching vampire porn together. a tag i used on ao3 (& also on here, once) is 'nate brings out the himbo in dan'. here is a prime example. 'is she levitating?' i don't fucking know, dan, what do you think?? (i was telling my partner that that's what i love abt dair vs date. around blair dan is an intellectual, a librarian, an art historian, a museum curator. around nate it's like dan is competing to be #1 himbo on the show. can my girlfriend actually fly? i don't know, dan. i can't believe you're seriously asking such a question.)

3x12 pep talk. (sorry about the shitty quality!) essentially nate telling dan that he (dan) is hot and that he shouldn't talk himself down so much.

dan making nate gay in his book. you know. his book from which blair found out he was in love with her. nads (who i will not tag in this billion word long gushy meta, because i value her sanity) once called inside "wish fulfilment' and. i mean. yeah

nate checking dan out at the derena wedding continues to be hilarious. hilarious in the same way as dan sexually fantasising about nate. canon really went 'let's give ivy some special easter eggs' and i appreciate them a lot!

i love the way they are around each other - so quietly attuned to each other. i showed my sister my date!husbands gifset, and she was like. yeah they're so married. and it's just stuff like how dan looks for nate over his shoulder, it's not even an active action, it's as easy and natural and intuitive as breathing, checking to see if nate is still there.

oh, that wasn't as hard as it could've been! okay. cool. im SURE there's more things i could scream about, because it's DN, the fact that they're non-canon makes me THAT much fiercer about them than dair/derena, to be honest. so many dots to connect!! anyway.