#IDK HOW TO FIX IG
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I’m still drawing I promise. I’ve just been at work ALOT and playing the sims 2 🧛 I have made Kabal and Stryker and they have a dog so it’s ok I guess. This is a placeholder till next post. Sorryyyyyy
#I actually hate taking care of the dog IT PISSES EVERYWHERE#IDK HOW TO FIX IG#ok time to go back to drawing MK ocs#mortal kombat#kabal#strykabal#kurtis stryker#i don’t feel like tagging#sims mk shit#new tag yay
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your movie charles art gives me cuteness aggression
obsessed with getting these asks back to back and yet they both hold some truth i think ...... thank you very much everyone ....
#semi-nsft ?? ig ??#xmen#xmen movies#xmen dofp#xmen first class#charles xavier#professor x#snap sketches#fr thank you - both of you :] !!!!! i do my best to make any and all iterations of charles xavier look lovable#not hard. for me anyway. i have this condition called Perpetual Heart Eyes and it worsens when i see/think of a chara i like#tho im mildly appalled by how much love my movie charles doodles get considering i only really draw him. when you guys mention him vjLAEAEJ#'appalled' is a weird word. Pleasantly Surprised is better i think#BUT AGAIN I DONT MEAN TO thats just how it happens. ig thats also why im happy to hear it. or read it LOL#LIKE I /HAVE/ DRAWN HIM ON MY OWN OF /COURSE/ just. def doesnt feel like that much ... hm ...#tho tbh maybe i do draw mostly in response to asks .... im not getting the hard data on that we're moving on it aint that serious#ANYWAYS. more movie charles to come. hopefully. idk if SOON but hopefully i still have some stuff i wanna draw with him#on that note @ second anon topping him wouldnt fix him or make things better really but itd be fun to watch probably
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Gyari, casual outfit ★
#welcome to demon school iruma kun#mairimashita! iruma kun#mairuma#m!ik#Gyari#Slightly rushed#Idk why but I cannot zoom into/trying get the quality to sht but whatever#My excitement for this was thru the roof n fuel me to get this done fast#I'm happy with how it came out but I see some issues which I can't rlly fix without fucking up everything#Ie the quality when it zoomed in#N hindsight is only great cuz I realised I could have went for the les flag for the background colours#But I went for more kuromu colour palette instead#Which Ig is the same thing but!#Anyways hype for the date chapter n probs at some point do the other panels#My hands r aching n slightly shaking lmao rn tho#Not the happiest about the background but idk what I would have went w tbh#My colourings
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birthday shop update! I'm also doing a giveaway on twitter :> shop link: x twitter: x
#shop update#honkai star rail#genshin impact#I've been nonstop working on this update IM FINALLY FREEEE#ded i havent updated my bio in so long i keep forgetting to#actually maybe it was bc my code never saved and idk how to fix it LOL#anyway forever 23 ig
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#failed attempts at a character sheet#idk why i keep doing this#i wanted to figure out how i might wanna draw aang and zuko differently#and while i GUESS i have a hand on how i wanna draw zuko#i can't decide on a face shape for aang#[sigh]#i should make them kiss#ig that'll fix me if not them#consistency? don't know her#im just in one of those phases where i put perfection over progress#it'll be over soon and i'll be back to drawing inconsistently with no remorse#gotta hold on till it blows over#I had this urge to draw Zuko with his hair a little grown in before he cut off his tail#aang#zuko#avatar the last airbender
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one-sided v4v where the v2 fights are just a way to get attention but v1 doesn't care at all
#this is actually canon#jk but i was thinking about how it was pointed out that gabriel and v1's wings match each-other's main colours (which yay cute ^_^)#and huh. wait a second. v2 can have blue wings#:)#and v1's wings don't change colour. interesing. i will be using this knowledge#there's also something to be done with the meaning of the blue wings but uuuuuuu idk#there's angst potential but. i dont feel like prodding at this thought rtn#go. be free#v1#v2#v4v#ultrakill#ig the wing thing implies gabv1el but honestly i think its fun if gabriel's feelings (whatever they are) are also one-sided#v1's true love is uhm. P-ranking everythign hashtag aro swag#k break time over back to studying#ramblings#edit: WHY IS THERE ALWAYS A TYPO#its fixed now. whadda hell
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listen I've just played through MW3's campaign for the first time and i just HAVE TO SAY... i love Ghost and all, but Price.... . . . . . . . . .
Damn that man is hot
Dare I say more so than Simon 🫣 Maybe that's a huge hot take but idk. I'm down with the mask kink, but the utter control Price has over everyone?? The dominance?? The aggression?? The looks he gives people when he's pissed off and thinking of ways to work situations out??? Sjhfdkdjdk
And not to mention that he's such a softie despite all of that rough soldier exterior. He cares so much for the work he does and his team and it really shows how much trust he puts into them (esp Gaz).
I'm no facial hair enjoyer either, but there might be a bit of something something goin' on with his 👀 That's all I'll say abt that lmaooo
#took a 10 month break from fandom just to come back like an addict finally getting their fix#que spongebob#i dont need it...... i dont need it.....#IIIIII NEEEEDDDDD ITTTTTTTTT#like seriously if price ordered me to call him captwin id be on my knees in a millisecond no joke#hey how much convincing does a guy need to do to get their bf to cosplay as him 👀#cod mw3#captain price#captain john price#cod price#idk why im tagging this. part of me wants to see if im the only one whos preference has started leaning towards price ig
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Hi? Gosh how do I even start with this :'D
I know it's been ages since I've last popped up on here. I've been debating when to post this for a while, but I kept adding to my draft more and more and now it's the end of JULY omgg I felt so guilty disappearing with zero updates but then thought my birthday would be the best day to finally address this considering it'll feel less random? idk but Ive always celebrated my bday with you guys and I'd feel so bad answering your kind asks without me at least explaining why I was gone for months.
Truth be told, I was dealing with a lot of stuff irl. health issues and sudden declining grades that left me stumped and drained for months now- along with technical issues like having to replace some parts of my computer that took a while for me to find to even draw digitally, which I didn't have the time for anyway with how tired and weary I felt every day.
I'm frankly shaken up by a lot of shit rn and I don't know how to be active online with this burden on my chest- Especially as it's been a while since I've even looked at utmv related content and my motivation dwindled. I swear I'd hype myself up to post or reblog something- but I'd see just how much I've missed or the overwhelming amount of posts I'd need to go through and I'd feel so swamped with exhaustion and most importantly guilt, for not clearing the air up sooner to reassure you guys that I'm, y'know, alive, and not dead in a ditch somewhere. And I'd procrastinate cause typing it all out is hard and I'd give up halfway every time and it's just not fair to you all!
I thought I was handling it well when I started going out and socializing more, instead of staying cooped up at home on my computer all day. and in the first draft of this post I made months ago I was gonna detail some of the fun plans I had, for my life and for this blog :D but relaxing my strict study schedule and letting go a bit of my tight routine, thinking it was better than wringing myself dry to keep it up, backfired horribly, to say the least.
I know right?? so silly to be hung up on stupid shit like studies of all things! but this is a very important thing for me considering my career plans and the competitivity encouraged by everyone I'm surrounded by, the pressure of keeping up adding to my already stressful days. I had to fix myself up first and I couldn't handle the strain nor interact with people and thinking of jobs and exams sapped my energy so much it's frankly embarrassing. writing this feels so cheesy too and it frustrates me to know I could've come back a month earlier if it weren't for that, but I also know putting all of this into words then would just sound like incoherent venting (not that this is very different tbf) and I wasn't in the right headspace to address my absence, or anything really- I didn't want everyone to see me return when I couldn't muster up a genuinely positive message, let alone talk to anyone with a shadow of my usual cheer
I feel like a complete mess and It drives me up the wall how depressed I've gotten. I debated deleting this blog so many times 'cause the fear of disappointing my audience and my friends, for lack of a more fitting sentiment, made me feel even shittier. I'm constantly thinking if this wall of text is worth posting, or if it's better not to burden you all with all my sappy troubles as if it's the end of the world. Trust me, I'll be fine. I'm not trying to dramatize this situation, but I don't think I'm up to pretending I'm all sunshine and enthusiasm you're all accustomed to.
So sorry for worrying you all! I'll try to catch up, deliver some missed birthday gifts, and answer some asks while I'm at it! Again, I can't state how much I appreciate your support throughout the years. It's frankly a miracle I kept any of you around with how much I keep popping and leaving at random with no warning. I definitely can't promise for my stay to be without a hitch, and if you don't mind an inconsistent schedule you're free to stay of course, but I'm afraid I can't sustain the pace I had when I first started this blog. I'll keep posting art, but lower my activity in the fandom sphere to reduce the strain on my mental health. so fewer rants and walls of text, more art, and less stress overall. Love you all and thanks for waiting for this long <3
#I'm not leaving the fandom btw! Just realized it kinda sounds like I will but I won't!#Still got my fem versions and some animations to spice things up in case I feel less inclined to draw my resident skeles lol#To the people that reached out before this thank you SO much!!!#I know this is not gonna reach many people considering my leave but i deeply appreciate it<3#I wouldn't be surprised if people forgot why they even followed me in the first place with how long I've left this time Hhhh#There's some plans about commissions as well cause no matter how many times I fix this poor pc it keeps failing me lmao#And I wanna try my hand at it to feel less pressured and dependent on my academics :')#It's a scary thought and an even scarier process and idk if you guys will be interested? but that's for another post ig >:)c#muah muah ily all thanks for EVERYTHING cause I'd restart this blog all anew if I didn't have so many people that I'd miss around here >:'D#blah blah Yuri is back on her bs so get ready for some banger art!!#To any mutual reading this pleaaaase bear with me if I don't reblog your art immediately#cause I've been tagged on a few and I wanna give them five tags each at minimum and I don't know where to start HHH#If there's something specific you want me to see you're welcome to tag me In it but don't be discouraged I haven't gotten to it yet!#This is So long I'm genuinely sorry aughghg 😭
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Can you tell I watched Adventure Time Wizard City for the very first time
is he....... y'know
#everyone say thank you mspaint#wizard city#adventure time#larry wizard city#blaine wizard city#spader wizard city#peppermint butler#or#pep mint#ig#idk how to tag things for this yet#cadebra#think i got everyone#posting with my eyes closed cause there's fifty things to fix and i see none
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it's not sinking in that today might be the last day in my house and town for many months to come
#like how do i even feel#on one hand im excited because like now that i finally agreed to dads stupid whims he technically will have to give in to things#ive been wanting since FOREVER like going to the gym#plus it's impossible to eat junk food when he's there he won't even let me kacchi maggi because maida hai bimar ho jayegi#and aadhe se zyada din toh pyaaz ye sab nahi kha sakte so it rules out any outside food#which is so good because like i just found out im pre diabetic lol#like borderline sugar like ab kuch nahi kiya toh seedha type 2 diabetes#so i need to eat healthy or ill literally die#i mean eventually but whatever being diagnosed with this in my 20s would kill me#also simply the fear of living with him is so much that i HAVE to study#and i want to now it's high time#but yeah want doesn't really work for me#i read a quote somewhere that 'goals' don't mean anything because winners and losers have the same goals#and i was like WOAH. like the person who gets an all india rank had the same goal as me: to pass the exam with good marks#but they succeeded and i didn't so it's isn't our goals that differentiate us#which ik is obvious but like still idk put things in perspective#anyway yeah that way my life MIGHT be fixed#but there's also living ALONE with my sociopathic FATHER who has more mood swings than me on pms#and being cut off frm the rest of civilisation and yk developed roads and buildings and ice cream shops#i guess it is mostly food ig :( which is good like the most junk food i can eat there is a burger from a nearby stall and that's pretty#much it they literally do not even have havmor or anything in walking distance forget scoop wali ice cream#but i like my bed and i like my ceiling with the stars and i like looking out of my window and knowing that the first ever crush of my life#lives right next to me and i like knowing that ill meet my bestfriend atleast once a month#i don't really love my mom or my brother tbh but idk maybe ill miss them it's weird ive never lived without them#i don't know i really hope that this is like a boot camp kota types experience rather than so much isolation that i sink deep into#depression. but then ive hit pretty shocking lows this year so hopefully i can handle it#my sister did say that when she lived alone with him for a month it was quite peaceful and okay because he usually gets more angry when mom#is around warna mostly he's fine#i don't know i don't know bhagwan ji please ab aur mushkil mat banana life bohot jhatke de chuke ho already ab pls#mujhe apni galtiyo ko sudharne ka mauka dena 🙏
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Spirit animal SQH
#svsss#shang qinghua#but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but#but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee#also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but#I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg#oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left#I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something#or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird#LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm#I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either#I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself#eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it...#I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up#I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa#man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong#cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk#its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment#with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig#and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a ✨️break down#but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake 💀#irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living...#just the ol regulars yknow?#and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want?#I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what?#whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate?#so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it?#that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications#and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly#man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk
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Hey y'all! The merry-go-round of doctors* I am on seems to be cycling back around towards an allergist again, and I have a question for y'all because idk how to word this for doctors: How do you word "if it walks like and allergy and quacks like an allergy it's an allergy" to an allergist? Less flippantly, I have allergy symptoms that multiple doctors have said allergies should not be able to cause. Mainly, my first allergy symptom is high blood pressure**, which if left untreated will progress to migraines, stomach issues, and eventually a bad blood pressure crash***. I have been told allergies do not raise blood pressure, but mine is caused by specific foods most of the time and taking a benadryl stops the reaction, so I have no idea what else it could be? But my main food allergy is acetic acid/vinegar, which I have also had multiple doctors tell me it is not possible to be allergic to
*the "you have a problem but not one I can fix try this kind of specialist instead" mobile **130s/80s, not super high, but high for me ***80s/40s
#the person behind the yarn#medical mention#I do sometimes have allergic reactions caused by acute stress or anger#so that's. fun. pretty sure that's MCAS though#but like idk how to convince doctors it's allergies#I know they might not be IgE mediated allergies but still allergies right? if benadryl fixes them?#most people don't get like two day headaches from eating peas?#I do think coconut might be my one true IgE mediated allergy on account of the immediate wheezing when I eat it#but the rest I fully admit are weird#the last allergist wants me to get a blood test DURING an allergic reaction#but I have learned the magic words about that one!#the magic words are: I tested on the very high end of normal tryptase levels when NOT having an allergic reaction#and my main severe allergic reaction symptom is uncontrollable vomiting. which makes it difficult for me to get that bloodwork done#so far I've only said it to like three doctors and every single one was like yes! fair! understandable!
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getting real tired of seeing thinkpieces/theories about how one or another of the archeron sisters is gonna “fix” Illyria. it’s giving white savior. Illyria doesn’t need another colonizer telling them what’s best for their people
#really weird how people talk about the Illyrians#and by weird I mean fucking racist#if anyone is ‘fixing’ Illyria it should azriel ideally but I’ll take cassian or rhys as a consolation ig#though imo what illyria really needs to heal is to decolonize and secede from the night court#the anti black and anti native sterotypes baked into the Illyrians will always drive me crazy#idk how no one else is talking about this#anti sjm#sjm critical#acotar critical#gold talks.tag
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look what i did
#honkai star rail#hsr fanart#hsr aventurine#aventurine fanart#idk how light works#would probably look better on a darker background but i fucked smth up#w the colors I mean. lights. shading. whatev#and im too lazy to fix it so#white background it is ig
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10am
me: oh boy i sure hope i can start gigging this holiday season, but i don't know very many people so i don't know how!
2pm
my violinist friend's teacher: hey iris are you available to do a gig in my church this weekend?
me: oh fuck yeah
#hopefully this will lead to More Stuff#idk i need to Get Networking but i also need to fix whatever problem i have w facebook (my account got blocked#for 'violating guidelines' approximately two seconds after i made it and then i appealed and IT DENIED ME????)#idk my friends said facebook is where you get all the 'old people gigs' (their words) but fuck that until i fix this ig#i guess i could do more stuff on instagram but i haven't done much at all yet and dont have many#if any videos of performances i feel comfortable and confident sharing / using to advertise myself...#im taking music business next semester idk how much that will help but its three fucking hour class so hopefully at least#a bit lol#and now doing this that's people who will Know me right so hopefully they will call me back at some point#i just am not sure how to find people who need violists!!!!!!!!#i should my TA for help tbh. why didn't that occur to me sooner she's literally like the most wonderful and helpful person#on the planet#i will email her in the morning ☝🏼☝🏼☝🏼#bluebird.txt
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so many hcs for viktor feel like hcs for akechi i either was kinda too nervous to talk abt or were things i only talked abt privately... grateful i had that springboard to finally just go for it on a character i wasnt totally embarrassed to talk abt like that so when i did get back to akechi, i lost any of the shame holding me back. sorry viktor u become akechi but worse thru me tho.
#i think i said this on twt idk if i said it here?#but pretty much all my hcs i had back in 2018 for akechi but i kept them to myself save for like#freckles. i think i briefly drew actual gap tooth akc too? but i think theyd have fixed that unlike the freckles#bc they can use those as a charm point anyways#anyways my characterizations r so similiar but i had like no followers when i was into p5 last time so akc looks like im bouncing off vik#when ig both r just bouncing off how i draw charas i really like in that#and like obviously all goes back to chara undertale peak character forever#rambling here whatever#told a friend it felt i just picked up where i left off but it is like that... slid right back into the aus n ideas i was having but i have#both the ability n shamelessness to execute them now esp palace au#ive been calling my post canon au inaba au i should go tag those but also that one#oh n esp closeted au/detective princess#neverrrr posted that on main i was kinda scared to so im v thankful for the response#okay i habe work in 5 hours must sleep
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