#I've thought about it enough times that I've completely memorized it LMAO
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Day 25 🗓️: Hollow 🪹 Ties 🪢
Pressing 🗣️ Zexion 📖 for answers 💡would be a waste 🗑️ of time ⌛. I know that 😔, but this dearth 🤏 of information 📑is hard 💪 to accept 🙇♂️. What's happening 👋on the upper ⬆️ levels 🏰? What ❓ought we 🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️be doing down ⬇️ here 🕯️? They 🔥🌹⚡hug 🤫 their truths 😈 close and leave 💨 the rest of us 👨🔬⛰️📖 to speculate 🤔. Zexion 📖 talks of the bond 🪢 we share 🤝 as an Organization 🏢, but how ❓could such a thing 🫂 exist 🧬? Still, he 📖 remains the only one 1️⃣ I can trust 👥🤝💞💥💯🫡.
#kingdom hearts#358/2 days#chain of memories#text from days and referenced events from com#lexaeus#sorry this post sucks. im just thinking about hollow ties again. as usual#I've thought about it enough times that I've completely memorized it LMAO#anyway this makes me lose it#the majority of lexaeus's characterization is right here#in optional extra reading material you only unlock after you beat a game not many people have played#aughhhhhhhhhh#me post
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Black Myth: Wukong
More brainrot commentary because I'M NOWHERE NEAR DONE WITH GOING INSANE OVER THIS MONKE GAME.
Cursed texts and massive spoilers bellow. Lots of random bits and wee woo wee woo.
First of all, YEEESSS to everything well written big budget media with heavy cultural elements that isn't western centric. Love it 👏, a thousand more like this please.
HONESTLY can't get enough of the character designs. Watching the old tv show in my childhood got me imagining the JTTW characters as these cute human with animal ears. But since the game took a more serious and darker tone they took the character design to 1000. So many memorable characters with distinct style, drip, and combat.
Ok so whose idea was it to make some of the plants sentient and will beat your ass for daring to pick them up. I now have trust issues with ginseng and mushrooms
The toad bosses reminds me of Gamabunta. For a moment they also gave me a war flashback of Jedi Survivor's Oggdo-Bogdo, I want those things vaporised from earth 🔫🔫
Kang-Jin darkening the environment during her second stage, I legit thought it was a problem with my screen, until I found out other players had it too lmao. Also looove her design, silver loong with holographic glow, prettiest loong in the game
Boss musics are so LIT, I've been looping them for weeks
The Scorpionlord. First I saw him I was like HANZO HASASHI :DD??? But instead of hellfire, this time he uses venom. And the fact that the environments have autumn palette, connects me to MK 11 Shirai Ryu fire garden arena lol
an NPC called Starved Abomination. The name really sends me because ngl it's a relatable concept, I too became an abomination whenever I'm starving.
To punish Wukong for his lifetime worth of trash-talking, the game now choose The Destined One as shy and doesn't talk much except for when he screams during fights. All my grievances of expecting him to be chatty and noisy actually works out the more I understand the story. And turns out it was all part of his journey, you are meant to complete him by collecting Wukong's scattered senses. Lil introverted fur-ball of scream I love you so much. Since the NG+++ Wukong stance actually gave him voicelines, I'm guessing the Destined One is going to complete his development in actually becoming Wukong in the DLC.
Everyone and I mean EVERYONE had a beef with Wukong and now we gotta pick up after his mess. My poor Destined One walked into an area completely clueless and suddenly everyone is jumping on him because "REMEMBER THE THING YOU DID TO ME A FEW HUNDRED YEARS AGO??? WELL FUK YOU, NOW DIE."
~
🐱Yin Tiger🐱. First time I met him I was like ohhh who are you, you look so cool and kinda cute tho, look at those big boba eyes, pspspsps.
He's all busy with his hammer and zabuza sword, thinks you're so annoying for bothering his work. Then there's this "challenge" option and suddenly he rose and casually tossed his hammer to the ground, I was like wait I was just joking aYO I WAS JUST JOKING-, then proceeds to delete my HP in 30 seconds. Anyway I love how he appears big and heavy and yet moves so swiftly. Of ALL the tiger bosses in this game, imo he's the coolest and THE SANEST. I still can''t get over the Tiger Vanguard and Mad Tiger trauma, those orange cats are on a whole new level of insanity.
🕷️Fourth Spider Sister🕷️. I'm actually so INVESTED in her mystery, like why are you helping me? Why do you look so sad? Are those tear stains on your cheeks?? Why did the Immortal Crane said that I'm giving you "false hopes"? What were we in the previous life?
"Think about her, won't you? Should you feel like stirring trouble in your next life." WHAT DOES THIS MEAN, TELL ME. SHE SEEMS SO NICE THO, she's just a sad goth girl what did she do?? What did WE do?? And her journal entry is so interesting.
🐉Yellow Loong🐉. LISTEN.... I literally had to pause for a moment when I saw him. Cutscene plays and I was like Oohh it's going to be that type of charismatic character reciting monologue, and then I saw his name and it's THE YELLOW LOONG??? This suave horned man is The Yellow Loong??
Well damn I have to say that's one handsome loong. He's one of those elegant style fighters, my favourite genre, up there with Whiteclad Noble and Erlang Shen.
👁️Erlang Shen⚡. The way I turned up the volume when I heard Andrew Koji's Erlang voice.....It's just so.......pleasant to hear. Something about the way he did his voice, the smug taunts, the gentle almost-whispers, and the gROWLS???
I can't even with the entirety of Erlang's character design in this game, because dAMN BOI what a BEAUTY. I thought the game was going to make his appearance more mature looking, or even scarier, because that's just how it is with game character design formula, especially in games like this. But NOOOOO..... they made him ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL. His face, his voice, HIS MOVESS, the way they designed his martial arts so elegantly. When you perfect dodge everything with him, it really feels like a dance. I have to note that when sometimes you tried heavy attack on him aND HE SIMPLY JUST-.... took one step to the side.... THE ABSOLUTE SLAYYY DISRESPECT💅💅. Welcome back Isshin from Sekiro.
Also I just found out that depending on what transformation you're using, he's going to react differently on each. Particularly interesting one was when you use Azure Dust. Most of the time, when you transform, he's going to transform too and chances are he's going to one-shot you out of the transformation. He doesn't do that with Azure Dust for some reason, instead he got amused because Lmao returning back to your origin?. And this line, "Walking his path is no easy feat, it will test you relentlessly". SOMETHING SOMETHING ABOUT ERLANG HAVING THIS HIDDEN BURDEN THROUGHOUT THE PLOT IS DRIVING ME INSANE, I NEED THE DLC TO EXPLORE HIS CHARACTER MORE I'M BEGGING YOU GAME SCIENCE. You can't leave me hanging with his journal entry please I want him to have some peace and closure.
Powerful quiet character with hidden struggle, the bane of my existence, my beloved.
☂️🐉The Four Heavenly Kings🎸🗡️. MAN I love these guys, their fight feels so rewarding somehow, because after all those struggles with Erlang, they feel more like a reward battle for visual entertainment.
Aside from being relatively easy, they're just so fun to watch. I keep wanting to stall the fight just to see what move sets they could perform because their coordinated attacks are just SO COOL.
South king throwing the sword at us, joined by the West king throwing punches, and then the West king passing the sword back to South king. That brief moment of them passing weapons, they need to do more of that, so sick.
The North king combo with every other kings. The West jumping up using the North's umbrella, summoned the dragon, the South yeeting the sword, and the East buffing up the umbrella thrust attack with his Pipa magic. I'd hate to be a normal human citizen under them during that scene GODDAMN. I'd say the West is the game's favourite king because he's the one with the most screentime. He's the one with distinct glowing eyes and he was the most visible behind Erlang during the opening. The North being the coolest because WTF WAS THAT TYPHOON UMBRELLA WITH THE WEST'S DRAGON ROLLING WITH IT, AND THE MUSIC QUE, ABSOLUT CINEMA. The East probably being the chillest of them all because my man was just serenading the fight yo, I like how his fingers actually moves accurately playing the BGM. I know they're on the heaven's side, but for some reason I want them to be on our side if it's possible in the DLC. If we could get Erlang, then surely we can get them? They're too epic not to have.
🐒THE GREAT SAGE'S BROKEN SHELL🐒
THE MONKEY, THE MYTH, THE LEGEND. SUN. WU. KONG. THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT WHEN THIS MF SHOWED UP ON SCREEN. TEARFUL CHEER AND AND UNIMAGINABLE TERROR. AND WITH THAT BITS OF THE OG TV SHOW THEME MOTIF PLAYING WHEN HE SUMMONED JINGU BANG.
Who would've thought that we're going to fight our former self as a literal your greatest enemy is yourself concept. Like yO IT'S THE G HIMSELF WUKONG but now FUK I HAVE TO FIGHT HIM?? Look, sir, Mr. Great Sage, I know I've been playing around as you and I don't even know what I'm doing, I'M SORRY.
So now we're fighting zombie Wukong. He's literally soulless inside and his voice sounds demonic. YET STILL he radiates that lively asshole energy. You try pillar stance to get away from him, he does the same but his pillar is TALLER than yours. You try to walk off calmly, he does the same but then taunts you for it, eats a peach and then flicks the seed to your head. Kicks you to the sky and transforms his jingu bang into a pillar and plants it to the ground with you under it. He cheats by summoning kintoun and body slammed you. He summoned his clones to kick you in all directions only for the original Wukong to wait on the side yawning, then he kicks your jingu bang back at you like "pick it up bitch", and taunts you with his hand gesture to come at him. Ok now you're raging and you tried to pillar stance heavy attack at him, he's like "shut yo bitch-" and GRABBED YOUR JINGU BANG WITH YOU STILL HOLDING ON TO IT AND STARTS USING YOU AS A FLY SWATTER. Just as you think that these suffering couldn't get any worse, you tried to heal and he IMMOBILISED YOU, SNATCHED YOUR GOURD AND TOOK A SIP, decided that it tastes like shit and threw it back at you. Now THIS is the little shit that I know and love.
The whole time you tried to do a move against him, he returned the favour but better. You think your staff extension is long? Ok he'll extend his staff to a kilometer, and that's STILL him holding back. You can do ring of fire? His is bigger in diameter and burns brighter. The game had to nerf out his lore accurate skills because it's just so atrociously OP.
Ok so you finally defeated him? Just as he got dusted away he still managed to croak a last laugh.
Que good ending animated cutscene with the JTTW plot in reverse serenaded with Celestial Symphony. Happy onions, happy onions tearing up the eyes. Crank the volume up, it's all coming together. That's Ba Jie, that's Sanzang, that's Wujing, that's horse.
MMMMMMM MONKE.
#black myth wukong#journey to the west#jttw#sun wukong#destined one#yin tiger#the fourth sister#yellow loong#erlang shen#yang jian#the four heavenly kings#spoketh#god tier insanity of a game
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2024 Horror Challenge: [1/?]
↳“They say time heals all wounds, but time is the wound.” Lisa Frankenstein (2024) dir. Zelda Williams
Plot: A coming-of-rage love story about a teenager and her crush, who happens to be a corpse. After a set of horrific circumstances bring him back to life, the two embark on a journey to find love, happiness - and a few missing body parts.
Starring: Kathryn Newton, Cole Sprouse, Liza Soberano, Henry Eikenberry, Joe Chrest & Carla Gugino
Goodness, another horror challenge has officially begun (technically this wasn't my first horror watch of the year, I have a few others I need to make a review for) but it figures this would be the one that convinces me to make the first post for this year's challenge (my 8TH YEAR doing it!) I was excited about it when I first heard it was going to be a thing. It looked like it was gonna be super fun as a concept. Not that it's completely original (reanimating life has been done more than plenty. Case in point - I literally watched Poor Things before this. lmao) but knowing that the script was coming from the zany mind of Diablo Cody (Juno, Jennifer's Body) I knew to go into this expecting the tone to be at least slightly off. And well, ofc it was. lol I don't know if it ended up being an instant classic as I thought it would be but I honestly don't really care because overall, I did really enjoy it. Kathryn Newton really impressed me once again like she did in Freaky, really owning that scream queen title. I loved her so much. And her chemistry with Cole was rather solid imo, despite his role mostly being silent. I thought Liza Soberano was a definite scene stealer as her step-sister Taffy as well. And ofc I gotta mention the wonderful Carla Gugino who is always good because her character was quite memorable, despite not being in it very long. I'm a sucker for a comedy horror so I'm not surprised I ended up liking it even though I've seen some mixed reactions (tho more good) It probably could have been better but I will say, even the movies from the 80's that you can tell inspired this one even had their flaws so let's not pretend they were perfect. I think this lived up enough to my expectations that I'm gonna say it now, I can see this one making it on the end-of-the-year faves list. Maybe it won't be for everyone but I think it was pretty good, for whatever that's worth. lol
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hii. if u dont mind, could u please share that "change of attitude" towards journaling? i feel like i really need that.. since i myself changed my attitude towards drawing and have been much more productive and happy doing it this last year. however Writing About Myself its another beast completely.. hope u r having a nice day! 🍃
hope you're having a lovely day as well! anyways as i was typing this up, what starts as a small tidbit has gone off the rails so i suppose this is my blanket advice as a newbie in journaling:
the materials!
choosing the titular journal aka notebook:
soft vs hard cover - i didn't realize this is SUCH a deciding factor until much later. most people prefer soft covers since journals can get massive with use but it's very subjective. be tactile - if it just don't feel right in ur hands, it's not gonna be something u reach out for when u have free time.
size - the most common sizes are A5, A6 or regular aka travelers notebook. you have to think abt who you are as a writer. do u have a large handwriting that takes up pages and pages? do you like space or are you overwhelmed by a blank page? do you travel a lot and do u want something unobtrusive in your bag? choose something that will reasonable work as a part of your daily life.
paper texture - paper that is smooth to write in are a great source of pleasure. notebooks with 100gsm paper is a good benchmark.
price - pleaseeee do not break the bank to purchase a fancy notebook. an expensive notebook can become an unloved one. you'd be too stressed to ensure every entry is perfect and pretty enough and the notebook eventually becomes too intimidating for you to fill in. check out your local hypermarket or online stores for quality notebooks. moleskins are overrated--in my country, they are v v expensive so don't feel pressure to buy a certain stationary just bc you see them often on ig/tiktok like my journal cost me approximately RM10 (USD2.34) and my new one w 100gsm paper cost me RM17 (USD4) like affordable options are out there!
build a connection with your notebook - listen...this sounds strange but having an attachment with your journal and making it inviting as possible is a great source of motivation. personalize it: add stickers, doodle or paint the cover. get a fabric/pvc cover to keep it clean if you'd like (you can add lil papers/stickers on ur actual notebook cover before putting on the pvc cover! very cute and easy)
and your pens:
again: less is more! use any relatively cheap pens you like - be it for the ink or smoothness. if you want to journal a lot, expect to lose a few pens during traveling or just around the house lmao
for fans of darker inks like me, i use Uni-ball Signo Broad, M&G R3 retractable gel pen and my favorite: Faber Castell RX Gel Pen 0.38mm - which cost like RM1.49 (i dont wanna convert - it's change money in america)
final note: i don't use fountain pens so i'm afraid i'm not well-versed enough to advise in that department but i deeply respect (and a little in awe) of journallers who use them 🫡
the tenet!
purpose: what do u plan to use the notebook for? daily journal? art journal? planner? all three? it's your life! live deliciously! since i have a 9-5 job, i know i can't keep up with more than one journal so i've been using mines as a diary and i dump my daily activities/thoughts/reviews of all kinds of media i'm currently obsessed with and it fills up quick!
don't be too hard on yourself: if you missed a day or two of journalling, it's fine - take it back up. write down anything memorable you'd like in the past few days. if you come across a certain blank page your brain is blanking to fill, perhaps after a previous dark entry, skip the page. skip two pages if needed. don't be scared of blank pages. if it needs to be blank, let it be.
it doesn't have to only be words! add stickers, dried flowers, receipts, ticket stubs, other ephemera you collected in the day. be artful! go crazy on page decoration!!
if there's anything you take away from this post, it's this: if you truly want a journal that is used up quickly, do not have plans to share it on social media. personally, i find once you are in the mindset of sharing your journal for an audience's consumption, you get worried whether it's "aesthetic" enough or is it too boring or too ugly or too dark or that you don't upload regularly enough. social media can be inhibiting your creativity or motivation to journal like let your animal brain ruminate in private! stay free from the shackles of responsibility!
#answered#poseida#journals#journaling tips#also in return i need to know what u did to change your attitude with drawing! i need to get back on that horse!
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okay, so i've been doing some thinking. i've been scrolling through your blog and i stepped upon these "cheating on cove with Baxter and the other way around" scenarios. (i'm sorry, i wasn't able to read them, my heart couldn't take it ;-;) but!
what if mc was like, in a normal relationship with Baxter. you know, a couple, maybe married later and stuff, while of course still being besties with Cove. later mc and Baxter have a kid together, maybe still a small baby but! plot twist! Baxter gets into an accident or something and dies. (i'm sorry, he's my favourite man but i had to kill him for that scenario:'))
mc is completely devastated and also a little panicked, because what about the baby? and then Cove stepps in, deciding to help his best friend take care of the little one and basically becomes its father. i recently watched a video of a dog "helping" a cat take care of her kittens, and there you have it.
this one may be boring, so feel free to ignore, but i can't stop thinking about it.
ITS OK<333 I figured some ppl didn't read it bc angst n pain</3 trust me I skip over angst all the time
(I even have the tag blocked😬 sorry angst writers but I will read it and not be the same for months, I read a kiribaku angst fic years ago, and was devesated for 4 months afterwards LMAO)
okay i... I cannot expand too much on this bc OUCH
(eta now that I've finished. who am I fooling? I rlly said that like I haven't wrote a whole novel 💀 anyway <3 this clearly made me pop off more than I thought I would bc I read this at first n was devastated!!! I had no words!!!! well clearly I found them LOL)
ALSO BORING??? ANON PLEASE.. BORING WHERE<///3
n im gonna fix the format later but for now here is the bare minimum. I'm going to bed rn so nini everyone enjoy a bit of angst I promise its fluffy as well<333
tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort
p/n = parental name, since I wanted to leave flexibility for all the readers here <3
but anyway yeah cove would so step up for you
will follow you to the end of the earth and do whatever you need to help you work through this and to adapt to this sudden and unfortunate change
if/when your relationship starts becoming something romantic, cove would absolutely put the brakes on everything and you'd go so slow...
I imagine he'd probably move in with you or you with him, and he'd stay somewhere else (if you're living in his house he will leave anyway, he's a gentleman like that fr) so that way you can figure out if it's not just bc he's doing all these things n you're mistaking admiration for love
you'd spend the first year going super slow, as if you've never known each other before
which technically you haven't, since you've never dated before. but cove would go so far as to find out your favorite color, song, animal, food.. all over again, even though he has it memorized and knows your likes better than his own.
once cove is sure you're ready for this (after much talk between the two of you and even with your therapist that yes you've made enough progress and are emotionally ready for this) does he finally put a label on it
now if you get married...
I imagine cove won't propose at all
like I think you'd have to talk n almost beg him...
in that case he would do a small but grande gesture to propose. or he'd propose to you before you've even left the bed for the day... no inbetween
but like 8 times outta 10, you're gonna have to propose to him
he'd cry and hug you n say yes of course.
and unless you want to keep this outta your wedding, I think cove would include baxter in your wedding.
first, ofc you'd have the picture to honor his memory
but I think he'd even go so far as to have smth in his vows. but to start, he'd say smth like:
"I know the reason we became closer was unfortunate, but I'm so happy to be able to call you and [Child] my family. and I hope I can be a good father and husband"
and "baxter will always have a place in our hearts. even though he and I didn't get along at first (watery chuckle)... I'm glad he got to love you, and I hope he trusts me to love and cherish you the same way as well.."
also if you don't want to give up your wedding ring from baxter, I think cove would even go so far as to suggest combining it with his.
!!! omg I was gonna say your and baxter's wedding bands would be black, but I have another idea
okay now, for YOUR bands, I imagine they're either black or silver and yk those infinity(?) bands? that has the 2 types of metal or whatever
that's what cove would suggest doing. and if you are worried abt people asking why your bands are different, he'd get the same twisted band but silver with say a black diamond or smth. just smth to make it look like it's intentionally different colors but same design or smth
(im overthinking a bit but it's an idea right?! I'm not crazy??<////3)
or if you don't wanna do that, I imagine you can just slip it on a necklace or leave it as is, whatever you want. he wouldn't mind even if you kept wearing it, cove would never ask you to get rid of baxter's image or memory in any way, not unless it was a real problem and your attachment to him/his things was unhealthy anyway.
now for baxter's band... well if you didn't bury it with him, I imagine you'd give it to your child
another thing I think you could do w your wedding band as well, and give them both your bands to do whatever they want with. or if they don't want it of course you're not forcing them to keep it
even though they didn't get to know baxter, the way you and cove still cherish baxter's memory does help them feel something of a connection.
I also imagine baxter would take lots of photo n video w the kid, even though they're young n just a babe, theres so many videos of baxter looking n acting so loving w them
and even a couple where he's teary-eyed n all "imma do you right by you. I love you so much.."
of course, if the kid doesn't feel that connected to baxter since they were too young to know or rmbr anything, and they don't feel anything much other than sympathy and the occasional sting when they see how much baxter loved them, you don't force it.
you both know that baxter was basically a stranger to them and even though they still respect baxter and he has a place in their heart, they don't feel like they're lacking anything.
"I don't really know what to say.. or how to feel... I see how much [P/N] misses you sometimes, and we have pictures of you, and they talk about you and stuff...
but I don't feel like im missing a dad. I hope that doesn't hurt your feelings, I wish I knew you too. sometimes I wish you were still here, so I got to know you as well, even though I'm still happy to have dad cove for my dad.
I just wanna know what you were like. I wanna experience what you were like. I... I wanna miss you like everyone else misses you too...
anyway, just know that dad is great! he takes care of me and [P/N] really well! he makes breakfast in bed, and he does/used to do this thing where he lifts me in the air before bed! he's so cool. I see how he makes [P/N] happy as well, so don't worry. although, [P/N] said you always thought cove was reliable and a good guy so maybe you aren't worrying anyway.
well... that's it I guess. i hope ill get to know you one day, and maybe you can tell me you're glad to see dad took good care of us. goodbye,
baxter."
pa."
cove happily listens to anything they have to say on how they feel abt baxter btw. he accepts any of their feelings, be it that they don't feel anything at all, sympathy for others, or they feel sad abt losing him.
if they do say smth like how even though it's unfortunate and they feel bad for everyone who mourns baxter (for example/especially you), they see cove as their dad and don't feel like they're missing anything and they're happy to have cove for their dad.
ofc he cries n hugs them n tells them he loves em and he's happy n he comforts them if needed of course
I also think cove is very scared abt being a father
especially in this way... even if the kiddo doesn't remember anything, or it's hazy at best, he worries about replacing baxter.
he'd probably worry abt not living up to baxter
baxter was always much more mature, at least it seemed that way most times. cove just worries about if he has the backbone and the ability to parent the child well and be someone they can look up to and/or appreciate for being a good father
cries if they call him dad btw
if they do it before you start dating, I imagine it's one of the catalyst that cause you to talk abt your feelings for each other. or if it's in the early stage..
cove prbly freezes and runs away to the other room n freaks out, definitely cries. if you don't talk to him like right after he calls his dad n cries n shares his worries n fear
either way, when you do talk he's biting his nails n trying not to pace around the room and he's like "if you wanna distance yourselves so that they don't call me dad any more I totally understand, I mean idk it's prbly weird for you-"
n he just rambles. like none of it makes sense n u have to physically shut him up. kiss him, yell, throw a pillow, hit him w the child's stuffed animal, throw a single lego brick at his back and watch him fall to the floor like he just got a nuke thrown at him
if it's later on n theres nothing to worry abt bc youve talked abt this or saw it coming or its just the otherwise most natural step, he cries of course
but he doesn't fall apart from being his in the back w a single fucking Lego as if it hurt 🙄🙄🙄🙄 (I hate this man he's DRAMATIC)
well... actually no he does
hit him, kiss him, hug him, run him over w a hotel wheels truck.... he just cries harder
adopts them like immediately basically
I imagine you do it soon, like maybe before the wedding just so that way you can have a private moment (just to save him some embarrassment from ugly crying in front of your families. in fact he just might faint fr)
n you + the kiddo surprise him w adoption papers (depending on how old the babe is at this point, they have like no idea what's going on but they know that cove is now officially recognized by the whole world (even by the unicorns n wizards n warlocks) as their daddy))
imagine laying in bed w cove n the kid in between you two
and when you wake up, cove is alrdy awake and was watching you two. he was petting the kids wild hair and he had pulled the two of you in and kept you under his arm..
and the sunlight is coming in, the day is just perfect. n the look on cove's face is full of so much love but also a bit somber this time
(cove feels awkward being here like this sometimes. during times like this you have to remind him it's okay, and you pull him back in. of course he does the same for you on those days.)
"I love you two. so much..." he whispers, tears sticking to his lashes
the kid flips over, curling into cove and they stop their sleepy mumbling now that they're tucked into cove's chest, feeling warm, happy, and safe.
you whisper equally as tender. "we were meant to be like this too."
also!! smth I just thought of...
imagine the kid looks mostly/very much like baxter. they act very much like cove's kid
like you would think cove n baxter had a kid together LOL
(if the resemblance is too much, they ask if you're the step parent </3 pls Ik it may not make sm sense but I just think it'd be so fuckin funny)
#olba#our life: beginnings & always#cove holden#cove holden x reader#baxter ward#baxter ward x reader#angst#baxter ward angst#cove holden angst#angst with a happy ending
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hi hi hi!!
i feel like it’s been so long since i’ve stopped by
i am here to share that i have been blessed with the stupidest possible dreams with the sleepy t boys lately
1) glad to have them back in my brain like this it’s always fun and 2) wtf brain could we not do the dumbest situations?
the first one was from today and omg. so i dreamt that i went home to visit my dad and his family was down because it was christmas? guess i’m looking forward to the holidays lol. anyways my dad somehow found a documentary on sleep token on tv and put it on because “hey my kid likes them” and for some reason it was filmed/presented like a true crime doc? and straight up exposed all the boys. names, faces, interviews. and my whole family made fun of me the whole time because i tried so hard to not have their identities spoiled even with this stupid documentary on 😂 and i succeeded! somehow! although i do remember this- iv’s accent was so fucking bizarre i’m not sure i could ever tell you where my brain pulled it from. and someone was named nat but i have no idea who lmaooo
the other dream was that the band for some reason came to my city? (idk why, this place is ass and we have no venue big enough for them) and for some reason i was tasked with like, showing them around and helping them acclimate to the city. so what’s the first thing dream-exie does? take them to buy weed and go to their favourite local bar for a show 😂 we got absolutely blitzed outside the bar and then went in and had an absolute rager to some local bands. and now i want that to be real so bad… (and also shotgunning the joint with iii🙈… iii was a menace and dream me was all too willing to encourage. lmao i feel so weird admitting that my brain made that up because it feels too horny lmao)
anyways. that’s what my head has been up to! other than aura migraines lmao. i hope you’ve been well!!! 🩶🩶🩶
Exie!!! I thought I answered this, I'm sorry!! Thank you for telling me about these dreams, they are so great, lol. I really haven't even had any memorable dreams, much less sleep token ones. Would love to have a sleep token dream again. I wonder if your one with the documentary was inspired by the recent Instagram vids lmao, those crack me up??? found footage sleep token, lmao. I also love that you got to show them around to your favorite places. (no comment on the shotgunning besides like, what I would be like irl, which is a big thumbs up, lmao)
This next bit got... long. Sorry for my ADHD fingers and ramblings about migraines, I only realized I've had them my whole life last May, so. I give all my tips lol.
Sorry to hear about your migraines, I actually had one when you sent me this ask off. I read your post about it, I've only had mine completely block my vision once, but it was because of some bad smells. I completely lost my vision, but it was still purple, not all black??? My visual impairments/visual aura's are splotches of neon purple and green, moving in my vision like waves. sometimes they can be gold and black, but it's usually the green and purple.
I find fast acting/extra strength Tylenol works really good for migraines. I also keep liquid IV in my bag, cause that helps too (if you have a migraine you want to avoid artificial sweeteners, and liquid IV has cane sugar in it, while most other electrolyte drink mixes do not.)
I find that using a wet washcloth on my forehead/point of pain works way better then an ice pack cause you can keep flipping the washcloth over and the side not against your skin will keep cooling off, where an ice pack will melt.
I have seen some videos/read about putting your feet in hot water when you have one, and that supposedly helps??? I have yet to try it, but it sounds soothing.
Sorry this became me info dumping about migraine stuff. Just don't want you too be in pain/I have tips. Mine have been pretty bad this year, tbh. I had one for 2 weeks back in March, and I probably should have gone to the doctor, but I realized I just.... can't binge video games anymore after it was gone, oof.
#hihi!!!#friend Exie!!#hope your doing ok tonight.#<3 <3 <3#oh and the reason i thought I got to this and didn't is cause when I was reading it my brother and sister in law got home#for the early thanksgiving on Friday so. I got busy... oof.#it wasn't a bad visit just... oddly draining?? and my sister agreed but..... nothing bad happened??
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I love the internet
Its just some people on here that I dislike.
I think the internet was an incredible thing to happen that changed countless lives across the globe! It makes things easier. You can find people who understand you, share creations, share interests, share thoughts, buy, sell, show, perform, comfort people, help people, make friends, get support, start a business, spread awareness, and much more! Its a powerful tool that is often underappreciated. It is a PRIVILEGE. Not a right.
Now there are some people who use the internet to harm rather than help. Some choose the veil of anonymity to harass people. Some abuse and manipulate people. Some share hateful or inappropriate content, even though they're well aware of children on the internet.
With all of the amazing advantages technology brought us, came people who sought to use it in overall not good ways. Now more than ever its easier to come across something traumatic, inappropriate, cruel, scary, manipulative, illegal, and horrific things. All it takes is one wrong click for a child in elementary school to stumble across 18+ websites. All it takes is one typo to ruin a persons innocence. All it takes is one "prank" to traumatize someone. Im grateful my parents limited my internet access as a child. I know for a fact I would have stumbled upon some stuff that would have near irreversibly altered my mind. Lots of totally cool and normal things exist for certain audiences that arent really unethical, but the thing is, a lot of sites wont make sure of age. Most just have you click a checkbox that you are 18 or older. Its irresponsible in my opinion.
I'm going to make one example of my last point using a game im very familiar with that isnt a huge issue: Doki Doki Literature Club. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!! also this is so unlike me lmao. PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I GOT ANYTHING WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM BAD AT WRITING SO HFUKJSGJh
It is a FANTASTIC indie psychological horror game with many interesting aspects and dark topics. The problem? Its marketed as a dating simulator with a cutesy style. A kid who failed to read more or heard from a friend saying to check it out as a prank (the latter happened to me) can easily download the original free game. Well, no biggie, right? It has a warning at the beginning, so it should be fine, right? Wrong. Lets take a look at the disclaimers.
Do you see that? "This game is not suitable for children or those who are easily disturbed" and "Individuals suffering from anxiety or depression may not have a safe experience playing this game." Now Ive played this game more times than I can count. Ive done every route, ive gotten every ending, i've gotten every secret,I even used to have a lot of the dialogue memorized, so trust me when I say, yes, this game can be incredibly unsettling at times, but its not the worst thing one can encounter. However its easily accessible as its completely free. The issue with the warning screens is a few things. One, you literally can just click through them without reading them like many do. Two, people may only skim the text or not care enough to go to the link. Three, IT DOES NOT SPECIFY WHAT IS DISTURBING!!! Lets take another look at the first warning: "This game is not suitable for children or those who are easily disturbed". Well, this game is marketed as a a cute highschool dating sim. For all parents or children know it could just be a bit spicy, and I know from experience, kids usually think they're grown enough to handle these things. What if a child goes in expecting a makeout scene when they go to Sayoris room to check on her before the festival only to find her corpse? Now what about the other warning? "Individuals suffering from anxiety or depression may not have a safe experience playing this game." And then it gives a link for content warnings. yes, this is better than the first IMMENSELY but the problem still stands that for all they know it could just have high stress parts or mention things like abuse or breakups or intercourse which can be triggering to some, and lets be honest, how many kids do you think will actually go to the website to read the content? Probably little to none unless their guardian figure makes them. I played this game in late fifth grade, and I thought I was practically an adult. Oh how wrong I was, BUT THATS OFF TOPIC. It would be much more beneficial and logical to just say 'this game covers dark, disturbing, and triggering topics and contains graphic content.' or something along those lines, OR EVEN VERIFY THEIR AGE. Without proper research an elementary schooler who was pranked by their friends (like me) could easily be traumatized. Im very glad I did research on it prior to my gameplay.
MY POINT IS THE INTERNET NEEDS MORE SAFETY AND STUFF BUT NOTHING STUPID LOL OKAY BYE SORRY FOR THE ABRUPT ENDINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 🤍
Thank you!
lol I only have five fics posted so I'm gonna do this for vids instead.
Wreck
There's exactly one shot I might go back and change if I could now, but honestly this is probably my favourite of my vids. It accomplishes, imo, what I always want to accomplish with a vid, which is both being visually engaging and fitting the music in a satisfying way, and essentially being a visual essay with a thesis statement. I feel like the essay part works on multiple layers too, where the basic point (Guts' violence is self-destructive) should come across pretty clearly, but there are a lot of little nuances that reasonably only I will ever know lol.
Like for example there's a set of three shots towards the end: a monstrous arm reaching out, a sword-strike, and a monstrous arm falling severed to the ground. Those three shots form a coherent whole, but they're taken from three very different scenes, which, put together, draw a throughline between Guts' rapist, Guts' abusive father figure, and Guts' urge to fight monsters.
Ultimately I made this vid for me, and my intended audience is happy with it.
The Moon Will Sing
I feel like this one was very successful on an emotional level. Every time I watch it there are several moments that give me shivers, and it never wears off. It's a love letter to Casca, and you can feel that imo. Plus I'm very proud of just being able to make a Casca vid that's about her life and her accomplishments and disappointments, and not romance lol.
Long Black Coat
This is the earliest completed vid I still have and yk what it holds up. The song edit is smooth enough that I completely forgot I edited the song until someone mentioned how cut up it was lmao, since it's one I never listen to outside of rewatching this vid; the music is illustrated by the visuals very well imo, it has a good sense of rhythm; and while it's still pretty linear it's not completely linear lol, which was an accomplishment for me when I was like 18.
Tropic Morning News
The fugue state I went into while making this was ridiculous, and then I spent the next few days rewatching it like 50 times. The hypomanic obsession has worn off and it's not quite as perfect as I thought during that week of making it lol, but it still holds up pretty well imo, and it was a memorable experience. It's the only vid I've ever made with a constructed reality element so it's a successful experiment too. I think it comes together overall, and it's a good portrait of Hawkeye/BJ as a ship.
Waltzing Along
I'm saying this vid instead of my most recent pretty much solely because it was my first Mash vid, I feel like they're ultimately pretty equivalent. But yeah like, going in I was extremely skeptical that Mash would work as a source for me, because it lacks a certain cinematographic polish lol. It's not super visually interesting and a lot of significant moments are portrayed almost solely through dialogue. But then I started this and I was like oh okay I can work with this, nice. So I have this vid to thank for all future Mash vids, and for helping expand my resourcefulness as a vidder.
Plus I'm pretty proud of it in general, like the death verse came together so well, I love my choice to show Tommy and Henry before the lyric reaches 'death row,' to add that little retroactive realization of why they're here. And intercutting Hawkeye getting out of the bus with Hawkeye helping the North Korean dig a grave, leading into Hawkeye supporting all his friends... Hawkeye.mp4. It also has a slightly stronger emotional core than my most recent one, probably.
Also I showed it to my dad and it made him tear up lol so I consider that a win.
#jump they say was a close runner up but i think the balance between the visual essay aspect and the satisfying vid aspect was#slightly off - leaned a little too heavily into trying to make a nuanced point at the expense of some clarity of vision#my vids#thanks for sending this!#text post#ask meme
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He managed to snag a table for the two of you at Salvatore's, and he was absolutely prepared to drop over five hundred bucks, but his clothing was becoming a situation.
Oh he is going all out
"Why don't you have normal clothing?" he asked himself as he picked up his phone now that it was late enough to text you.
Same buddy, same lmao
He hit send and then wished he hadn't asked that question. He sounded like a horny twenty year old. It was bad enough that he had to practically beg you to go inside your apartment last night while you were kissing his neck, but he didn't want to embarrass himself.
He's whipped so bad 🤭
He was too many steps ahead right now. You hadn't yet done the drive down to Coronado from Mira Mesa for yourself, but he already caught himself wondering if you'd consider moving in with him in the future. "You need to relax," he ground out through gritted teeth. "You'll scare her away."
I love how he has to remind himself to be chill and not scare her away, that's some self-awarness hahah
"Hey, Gorgeous." Bradley's crooked little smile faltered a bit as his gaze slid down from your eyes to your lips, but he didn't stop there. He was shamelessly checking you out as a pretty shade of pink crept up into his cheeks, and you did a slow turn for him.
The unabashed checking out but then blushing, I know what that means... many naughty thoughts in that bird brain of his 🤭
He broke the kiss by tipping your chin up so you were looking at him. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," he crooned softly. Your lipstick was smudged along his mouth, and his tongue darted out to taste it before he said, "I'm fucking crazy about you."
His rough thumb dragged along your bottom lip as you said, "And you've never even seen me dispose of a spider for you." "Baby," he rasped. "I'd probably propose."
He 100% means this
"Let's go," he coaxed, leading you toward your door. "I'll let you pick whatever you want to try at Salvatore's. I don't usually like sharing my food, but there's just something about you, Gorgeous. You make me feel comfortable."
That's a true testament of love and trust
You tried to tell Bradley twice that he still had some of your lipstick smudged on his face, but he just shrugged and said, "Good," in response both times. If he didn't mind, then neither did you. It couldn't be any more obvious that he was with you when the exact color that was on your lips was also on his.
Oh I can't wait for them to take the next steps, I just know their mutual marking up is gonna be superb 😏🤭
When you saw him without a shirt on, you'd probably faint and need him to revive you. When the bartender came over, you were chuckling to yourself at the idea of having sex with Bradley while he kept his shirt on to save you from that fate.
This is a valid reaction and also cracked me up😂
You kind of shrugged and said, "I think I'd actually be okay with it, as long as it's you. It almost feels like we got some big, scary thing out of the way already, you know? And I could always write to you, because I kind of loved doing that. And yes, Bradley, I am also completely enamored with you."
🥹🥹🥹
"Have you memorized everything I've ever told you?" "Yep," he replied, his handsome smile evident in the street lights. "And I've gotta say, you're one of a kind, Gorgeous."
He's so dreamy 🥰
He was eager. You could feel it as his lips found your neck again. He smiled against you as he whispered your name in that deep raspy voice. "Since you don't like surprises, I'm telling you right now that you should expect to see me in the parking lot at your school on Monday morning. Sound okay?"
Yours Truly, Bradley Bradshaw Part 10 | Rooster x Reader
Summary: After just two days back home, Bradley takes you on a second date. He wants more, and you don't seem to mind when he can't keep his hands and lips to himself.
Warnings: Fluff, angst, language, Bradley being boyfriend material
Length: 5000 words
Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female teacher!Reader
Check out my masterlist for more! Yours Truly, Bradley Bradshaw masterlist
"Shit."
It had been such a long time since Bradley wore anything other than a flight suit, a khaki uniform or gym clothes, he had no idea what he was supposed to wear to dinner tonight. You mentioned weeks ago you thought Italian food sounded nice for a second date, and he agreed wholeheartedly. He managed to snag a table for the two of you at Salvatore's, and he was absolutely prepared to drop over five hundred bucks, but his clothing was becoming a situation.
After spending the entire day with you yesterday, Saturday morning was a bit of a reality check. He was trying to work through three loads of laundry while he sorted through a box of mail. There was nothing sweet in there like the packages you and your class sent to him while he was deployed. It was mostly bills that had already been automatically paid online, mortgage statements, and junk. Then he started folding laundry, somehow expecting some articles of clothing that weren't threadbare tee shirts or tropical print button downs to jump out at him.
"Why don't you have normal clothing?" he asked himself as he picked up his phone now that it was late enough to text you. He wanted to make sure you were okay with grabbing a drink before the dinner reservation which wasn't until 7:45. But when he unlocked his phone, instead of zero new messages, he found a picture you sent seven minutes ago.
"Oh my god," he groaned softly, dropping onto his bed next to some unfolded laundry. You were in your own bed wearing his favorite sweatshirt and a bright smile.
Good morning, Handsome. Last night felt like a dream, but your sweatshirt is real, so it must have happened.
He scrambled to write back, clothing crisis forgotten. God, he wanted to be in that bed in the worst way. Things would definitely get out of hand pretty quickly, but he knew those first few kisses would be the sweetest things. After last night at the beach, waiting for a few more dates was going to be the challenge of his life, but he wanted you to know he was in this for the long haul. Especially after you mentioned that you thought he may have ghosted you.
Hey, Gorgeous. My sweatshirt looks way better on you than it ever did on me. Did you sleep in it?
He hit send and then wished he hadn't asked that question. He sounded like a horny twenty year old. It was bad enough that he had to practically beg you to go inside your apartment last night while you were kissing his neck, but he didn't want to embarrass himself.
Of course I did. It smells like you. The only thing better would be having you in my bed, too...
How the hell was he supposed to wait until this evening to see you? He tossed his phone aside. His blood felt like it was on fire, and he was sweating. Never before had he wanted to move this fast from a first date to making things official. But he knew you. He'd been working up to this point for months. And the Thai dinner with Prosecco on the beach wasn't really a first date. That felt closer to a reunion with a girlfriend than anything else. The only thing missing for that to have been true was a sleepover instead of him taking you home for the night.
He was too many steps ahead right now. You hadn't yet done the drive down to Coronado from Mira Mesa for yourself, but he already caught himself wondering if you'd consider moving in with him in the future. "You need to relax," he ground out through gritted teeth. "You'll scare her away." He cracked his neck and forced himself to fold a stack of underwear before picking up his phone to reply.
I don't want to rush things, but your bed does look very comfortable. I'm confident we could get cozy there... You're making me blush. I need to get this conversation back on track. Cocktails before dinner at Salvatore's? I'll pick you up at 5:30?
A few minutes later, you responded with a photo of you still all snuggled up in bed, smiling and giving him a thumbs up in his shirt.
--------------------------
"Just in case," you muttered, making sure your bedding was straightened and your room was tidy. You left Bradley's TOP GUN sweatshirt folded on your pillow, but you certainly wouldn't mind having the man himself in your bed tonight. Your fingers and toes tingled when you thought about it. You bit your lip and scooped up his shirt, inhaling his scent one more time before you realized he would be here any minute.
When he knocked on your door, you set it back on your pillow and glanced at yourself in the mirror as you bounced past it. Cocktails and dinner at Salvatore's would have been a major splurge for a night out for you, but Bradley selected the restaurant. All you did was mention Italian food, and he really ran with it. You'd have been happy with some pizza and breadsticks, simply excited he remembered you mentioned Italian food at all, but this called for your littlest black dress and your brightest red lipstick.
"I'm coming!" you called, going as fast as you could in your black heels, giggling at the double meaning. You had to compose yourself before you could open the door, and when you did, you were met with the actual man of your dreams.
"Hey, Gorgeous." Bradley's crooked little smile faltered a bit as his gaze slid down from your eyes to your lips, but he didn't stop there. He was shamelessly checking you out as a pretty shade of pink crept up into his cheeks, and you did a slow turn for him.
Your skin felt warm as you met his eyes after doing a full circle. His lips were parted as you whispered, "Hi," and reached for his hand. As soon as your skin met his, he pulled you closer to him. "Bradley." His lips were on yours as he backed you up into your apartment until you softly met the wall behind you. He was big and warm, and you were holding his left hand while his right one came up to your face.
He broke the kiss by tipping your chin up so you were looking at him. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," he crooned softly. Your lipstick was smudged along his mouth, and his tongue darted out to taste it before he said, "I'm fucking crazy about you."
His rough thumb dragged along your bottom lip as you said, "And you've never even seen me dispose of a spider for you."
"Baby," he rasped. "I'd probably propose."
A shocked giggle escaped you, and his crooked grin was back as he kept you there against your wall with your door wide open. You reached up and ran your fingers along the collar of his oxford shirt before tugging on the fabric until his lips were on yours again. You let your head tip back against the wall as he devoured you, tasting your lips, tongue and teeth before his forehead came to rest gently on yours.
"You know," you gasped, trying to catch your breath, "I thought all your emails were sweet and romantic."
He chuckled as he pulled away from you. "I was hoping I was doing okay in person, too."
You shrugged playfully and tried to spin out of his grasp, but his hand was still wrapped up in yours. He followed you to your coffee table so you could grab your purse as you casually told him, "You're even better in person than I thought you'd be."
"Oh yeah?" he asked, pulling you close again. "You like my stupid looking clothes and how I can eat three meals for dinner?"
He was so endearing, you didn't know how to handle him. So you kissed him again and whispered, "I like all of it." You let your fingers trail along his shirt buttons as you said, "You look nice in this, but I can already tell you're more comfortable in your colorful Aloha shirts and jeans. And I love that you can eat three meals for dinner, because we ended up sharing everything last night."
"Let's go," he coaxed, leading you toward your door. "I'll let you pick whatever you want to try at Salvatore's. I don't usually like sharing my food, but there's just something about you, Gorgeous. You make me feel comfortable."
-------------------------
You tried to tell Bradley twice that he still had some of your lipstick smudged on his face, but he just shrugged and said, "Good," in response both times. If he didn't mind, then neither did you. It couldn't be any more obvious that he was with you when the exact color that was on your lips was also on his. You listened to him hum along to the retro oldies station as he merged onto the coastal highway while you took a minute to fix up your own smudged lipstick.
He grinned over at you as you put your makeup away and said, "Come on, Baby. If you didn't want it on my face, then you wouldn't be putting more on your lips."
Every time he made a bold statement like that, you wanted to cancel dinner altogether and take him to your bedroom. "I never said I didn't want it on your face. It looks good."
He reached out blindly for your hand, and you grabbed his immediately. "You did tell me you wanted me to kiss you as soon as I saw you."
"Yeah," you muttered. "Don't stop doing that." You knew things with him were going to get physical pretty quickly, but you'd never been quite this attracted to someone before. You drew little shapes on his palm as you asked, "How was your first night back in your own bed after so many months away?"
He groaned softly. "Epic. Fantastic. I don't fit very well in an extra long twin bed."
"No, I would imagine you don't," you said with a laugh as you watched him drive his Bronco in the evening sunlight.
He licked his lips and grinned as he said, "Would have been better if you were there though."
The eruption of butterflies in your belly left you biting your lip. You wanted to respond, but you needed to be able to make it through dinner before you were hanging off of him again like you were last night. That's when he brought your hand up to his lips and kissed your knuckles, treating you to his mustache there. "Feel like getting a drink or two in the lounge first? Maybe a bottle of wine?"
"Mmhmm," you hummed, ready to go anywhere he took you. As soon as he parked, he jogged around to help you down, letting you slide against his body with your hands on his shoulders. You wobbled a bit in your shoes, but he kept you steady.
"You good?" he asked as he leaned in, his lips brushing the side of your neck as his arm wrapped around your waist.
"So good," you promised. "Never better."
Bradley kept his hand right there on your hip as he led you along the sidewalk toward the restaurant. The lounge was packed; this was definitely a popular weekend date night locale. Couples filled the space with noisy conversation, but you could hear Bradley perfectly as his lips found your ear when he said, "There's an empty stool at the far end of the bar." He gave your hip a little squeeze as you headed for it, and he leaned on the bar next to you. "Why don't you pick out a bottle of wine or whatever you want? I'll go let the hostess know we'll be hanging out in the lounge."
When you agreed, he kissed your lips like the two of you had been at this for years, not just since yesterday. You weren't the only one who watched him walk away in his snug pants and Oxford shirt that somehow showed off his biceps. He was just that good looking. When you saw him without a shirt on, you'd probably faint and need him to revive you. When the bartender came over, you were chuckling to yourself at the idea of having sex with Bradley while he kept his shirt on to save you from that fate.
"Can I get you a drink?"
You looked at him in a daze, realizing you meant to choose a bottle of wine. You blurted out what kind you liked best, and with a nod and a smile, he turned to fill your request. And that's when you finally looked at the menu and realized the bottle was more than a hundred and fifty dollars.
"Oh shit." But it was too late. He had already opened it and was heading your way with it. You scrambled in your purse for your wallet, cringing at the idea of Bradley seeing the bill when you could have simply ordered a cocktail instead. Just as the bartender was pouring out a bit of the wine for you to try, you found your credit card successfully. And that was also when Bradley came back.
"They'll come get us when our table's ready," he said. "I told them it would be easy to find me since my date is the most beautiful woman in the restaurant." He watched the bartender pick up a second glass and said, "Oh perfect, you found some wine that you like."
You nodded and tried your best to pass your credit card across the bar undetected with your hand covering it. "I sure did."
Bradley's eyes followed your hand as he took a sip of the wine. "What are you doing?"
"Nothing," you told him, picking up your own glass with your other hand. You tasted the wine and nodded at the bartender, and then he filled up both glasses while Bradley reached for your credit card.
"That's not necessary, Gorgeous. You can put that away."
You waited until the bartender walked off before you shook your head. "Let me pay for the wine. I was distracted and just picked a random bottle before I looked at the price, and then it was too late because he already had it opened. It's expensive."
Bradley looked completely unfazed as he eased your card from your hand and tucked it back into your wallet. "I don't care about that."
"I do," you said softly in your embarrassment. "I don't want you to think that's what I expected."
Bradley laughed in response. "First of all, I would never think that. And second, I was on that aircraft carrier for so long, and this wine tastes so good, and you look so pretty... I don't even want to tell you how much I'd be willing to pay for that bottle of wine and our dinner."
You simultaneously felt better and a little warm. "Okay, fine. But next time we go out for dinner, we're getting burgers from In-N-Out, and I'm paying."
His smile grew as you sipped your wine which really was quite good. "So that means you want to go out again?"
You rolled your eyes up at him where he stood, his hand brushing your knee where it was crossed over your other leg. "I'm about to make an In-N-Out reservation right now."
"Perfect," he replied. "Which night? I have to work late a few days next week to get caught up on everything I missed while I was away."
"You're ridiculous," you told him with a laugh. "How about Wednesday?"
His fingers toyed with the hem of your dress as he said, "Wednesday's good. You also need to let me know when I can visit your classroom again." His words were so sweet, and his gaze was sincere, but the feel of his fingertips inching along your skin above your knee was something else.
You set your glass down next to your purse and reached for his hand, letting his fingers slip underneath your dress as you met his brown eyes. When he teased your skin with his rough hands, you reached for his shirt, and Bradley came willingly. Salvatore's didn't provide the two of you with the same level of privacy as the beach last night had, but you didn't really care, and he didn't seem to either.
-----------------------------
You had the softest skin. How was he supposed to keep his hands off you? And that red lipstick made your little pout when he teased you even more delectable than he could have imagined. And he'd been doing plenty of imagining for the last few months. He'd imagined you in a variety of scenarios with him, but so far being with you in person surpassed everything his vivid thoughts came up with.
When he mentioned visiting you at work, you treated him to the silky soft feel of your skin, and then you literally grabbed the front of his shirt and tugged until he was kissing you. Oh god, he was never going to recover from this. He had to wrap his hand around the middle of your thigh to keep himself from going any further as you moaned softly into his mouth. He was absolutely starving and a little dizzy from the wine, but he was thinking about skipping dinner in favor of the solitude of the Bronco right now.
"Mr. Bradshaw?"
Your tongue was slowly tasting his when you jerked away from him as the hostess strolled over. Embarrassed, you turned toward the bar as Bradley grunted in response at the young woman who told him the table was ready for the two of you. And maybe that wasn't a bad thing, because feeling you up in the middle of the crowded lounge wasn't something he'd feel good about later. At least not on the second date. He'd bring you back here in a few months and see if the two of you even made it to dinner.
With a smile, he reached for your free hand after you picked up your glass. You halfway hid your face against his bicep as the hostess picked up the bottle and led the way through the lounge and into the restaurant. Bradley kissed your forehead and murmured, "If I could keep my hands off of you, this wouldn't be a problem."
You peered up at him through your lashes. "Hanging out on your couch alone is sounding better and better."
"Fuck," he groaned softly as you released his hand and took a seat at the table set for two which was overlooking the bay. Bradley pushed your chair in, and his thumbs met your bare arms. He took a few deep breaths before taking the seat opposite yours and accepted one of the menus as he listened to the specials while he looked at your face. He muttered some sort of response, and then the two of you were alone.
You emptied the remainder of the wine between his glass and yours, and then Bradley watched you lick a little droplet from your thumb as you smiled at him. "So which three dinners are you planning on ordering tonight?"
It took him a second to realize that he was holding an open menu even though he hadn't looked at it once. He cleared his throat and said, "Definitely some homemade spaghetti and meatballs. The last time I ate spaghetti, it was overcooked and sad, and I had to go back to my bunk and think about you to make myself feel better." You covered your mouth with one hand while you laughed, and it was the most charming thing he'd ever seen. "I'm so serious, Gorgeous. I got a plate of soggy noodles, and literally the only thing that made it better was imagining you teaching your class about military grade jets and aviation."
Your pretty eyes were glittering as you told him, "I keep extending my lessons on the topic, and you are completely to blame for that. After the first time you responded to us, my students asked about you every single day. They are completely enamored with you."
"Yeah? Just them? Or you too?" He knew his words were reminiscent of the way you'd tried to blame it on your kids when you asked him to send you a picture so you could see what he looked like.
"Hmm." You pretended to peruse your menu. "I'm thinking about the ravioli. Or maybe the penne with vodka sauce." Your foot tapped his leg beneath the table, and he had to fight the urge to reach under and touch your skin again. You were teasing him in every way right now, and he was absolutely loving it. When the waiter dropped off glasses of water and some freshly baked bread, he asked if you wanted anything else to drink.
"You want another bottle of wine, Gorgeous?" Bradley asked, deciding to tease you right back.
"Absolutely not," you told him, looking at him like he had two heads before kindly telling the waiter, "No, thank you."
He was still laughing when he picked up a piece of bread. "So we'll get spaghetti, penne and ravioli?"
"You don't have to order what I want," you told him, your foot still running along his calf while your expression dripped with innocence.
"No. I want to though." It was kind of fun spoiling you with something as simple as dinner. Vanessa would have made a comment by now about how much she hated the slightly kitschy, over the top restaurant, even if the food was supposed to be immaculate. You didn't seem to mind one bit that he ordered three massive entrees and intended to finish whatever you didn't. Vanessa always got embarrassed, but all you said was that you were excited to try all three.
There was never a lull in conversation. You actually listened to Bradley when he was talking, and he could have listened to you all night.
"So you know how last night I mentioned... that I'd never really thought about dating someone in the military who deploys for work?"
"Yeah," Bradley rasped, not sure he loved where the conversation was heading.
You looked a little apprehensive as you said, "I was thinking about it more last night after you dropped me off."
"And?"
You kind of shrugged and said, "I think I'd actually be okay with it, as long as it's you. It almost feels like we got some big, scary thing out of the way already, you know? And I could always write to you, because I kind of loved doing that. And yes, Bradley, I am also completely enamored with you."
It was almost a shame that the food arrived then, because as you started to cut into an enormous ravioli, all he could think to say was, "I'm completely enamored with you, too."
-----------------------------
You were so full from dinner, you didn't know how Bradley could walk. He ate at least two times what you did, and then he insisted on ordering a piece of cheesecake. When you caught sight of the bill, you tried not to gasp, because it was more than you spend on groceries for a whole month. But he handed over his credit card and signed his name without even breaking conversation with you. And now you were discreetly grabbing a handful of mints on your way out of the restaurant as he held your hand.
It was late, and you knew he was still tired. He mentioned briefly that he had a lot of chores to do this week amidst some late nights at work, but you didn't know how you'd be able to wait until Wednesday to see him again. When he started up the Bronco and headed in the direction of your apartment, your mind flooded with questions, but he asked you one first.
"I already have plans tomorrow, but I don't think I can wait until Wednesday to see you again. What time do you usually get to school?"
"7:20."
"Okay. And what kind of coffee do you like?"
You couldn't stop smiling as you told him what you usually ordered on the rare occasion you had time to stop at Starbucks. You kind of already felt like he was spoiling you.
"Have you memorized everything I've ever told you?"
"Yep," he replied, his handsome smile evident in the street lights. "And I've gotta say, you're one of a kind, Gorgeous."
You honestly didn't want the ride to end. The fact that there was no buffer of traffic to add to the twenty minute drive made you pout a little bit. Bradley's deep voice layered over the music playing on the radio while he held your hand was intoxicating, but you made a disappointed sound as he parked in front of your building.
When he released your hand to kill the engine in the near darkness, all you could see was his handsome profile. "You thought the drive would be too much for me," you whispered. "But when I'm in the car with you, I don't want it to end."
He cleared his throat and softly said, "Well, we don't have to get out quite yet if you don't want to."
Your pout turned into a grin as you unbuckled your seatbelt. "I can tell you still need to catch up on some sleep. I don't want to keep you out too late, Bradley."
He chuckled and undid his own seatbelt. "Why don't you come a little closer and say my name again."
As you eased yourself onto your hands and knees, you scooted across the seat and whispered, "Bradley," with a little laugh.
"Closer?" he asked, and you crawled over to him until you were able to kiss his cheek.
"Bradley."
He turned his head so his lips met yours, and he whispered, "Closer," against your mouth.
You were immediately in his lap, your hands resting on his chest as the steering wheel met your lower back. Your lips found his scarred cheek just like last night, and you kissed your way along his mustache and the side of his nose. You let your hands drift slowly down over his abs until they met the leather of his belt, and you whispered his name one more time.
His big hands closed around your wrists as he groaned, "You really love teasing me."
You nodded and said, "I really do," as he guided your hands up to his shoulders and around his neck.
"You're really good at it, Baby. All those pictures of you in your bed are enough to get a man through a deployment and then promptly kill him once he's on dry land if he can't touch you immediately."
He kissed the inside of your arm, and you scooted your body a little closer to his. "You can touch me." Your words elicited a deep groan as he slid his big hands along your bare arms, leaving goosebumps in their wake. He kissed your lips, swiping his tongue against yours as his fingers trailed down your sides. You almost cried out when his thumbs grazed the sides of your breasts before he gently squeezed your waist and your hips.
You could invite him to stay over. You didn't think he'd turn you down if you did. But all you could manage to say was, "Bradley," between kisses.
He tipped his head back against the headrest and whispered, "I love the way that sounds." His eyes were glittering in the darkness as he looked at your face and your body, and you remembered his text message from earlier.
I don't want to rush things
It was hard for you to remember that yesterday in your classroom was the first time you touched him. The first time you heard his voice in person. As much as you wanted to lean in close and ask him to stay, instead you kissed his ear and said, "You promised me movie night on your couch. When?"
"Friday?" he asked, kissing along your neck. "Let me end the week with my Gorgeous girl?"
"Yes."
You were afraid you were going to melt right out onto the pavement when he opened his door, but he helped you down and kept his arm wrapped around you. Bradley walked a half step behind you in the darkness all the way to your apartment. While there was no expectation that he was going to join you inside, you ended up pinned against your door, because it didn't seem like he was quite ready to leave yet either.
He was eager. You could feel it as his lips found your neck again. He smiled against you as he whispered your name in that deep raspy voice. "Since you don't like surprises, I'm telling you right now that you should expect to see me in the parking lot at your school on Monday morning. Sound okay?"
"Oh god, yes," you whined as he released you. There were so many things you wanted to tell him as he put a foot of space between your bodies, really giving you a chance to see his pink cheeks and the way he was breathing deeply. You blurted out, "I'm falling so hard for you."
His crooked little grin was back as he nodded at your door. "Lock it behind you. And when you get in bed, in my sweatshirt, send me another selfie."
"I will," you promised, and you did exactly what he said. A minute after you texted the photo, you got a message back from him.
I think I'm falling even harder.
-----------------------
I'm so obsessed with them. She was so concerned about that bottle of wine! And he really wasn't lol. Coffee and burgers and a couch date coming up. This story will be 18+ soon. Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls
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Tagged by @applescabs thankyouu <3
Are you named after anyone?
No, I'm told my parents thought really long about my name until my mom woke up in the middle of the night and suddenly just knew.
When was the last time you cried?
Yesterday lmao, after finishing gankutsuou. (And saturday after watching an ep of gankutsuou, and last wednesday when I went to see the Aida musical...)
Do you have kids?
Nope, maybe someday maybe not.
Do you use sarcasm a lot?
Not really, when I'm in a certain mood with friends then yes but otherwise I just say what I mean.
What sports do you play?
I have a horse so horseriding, aside from that I don't really do sports. I used to do sailing until I was 16, and now I do it ocassionally with a friend or with my dad, and I used to do streetdance when I was little. I do love to hike though! Always loved the adventurous vacations my parents used to take me n my siblings on and we'd go for hikes through forests and mountains, I'd love to do that again sometime.
What's the first thing you notice about people?
I'm not sure actually, the way people talk maybe? I often pay attention to eye color as well for some reason.
What's your eye color?
Brown, a little darker than my dad and a little lighter than my brother :)
Scary movies or happy endings?
Both? I like all kinds of movies. Though I never watch scary movies alone lmao no fun in getting scared if you can't laugh about it with someone else. Happy endings always make me very emotional, especially if it's done well. Tho endings in general are pretty emotional to me, no matter if it's happy or not.
Any special talents?
Remembering song lyrics! If there's a song that I, anywhere in my life, knew completely, there's a big chance I still do. I learn pretty quick too, considering I memorized a song from the aida musical last week in like. 3 days. (I do have to mention those were a few days of non stop listening to it)
Where were you born?
Netherlands! Specifically a very small town in north Holland, all the way at the top of the province. It's located above sea level on what used to be an island up until about 200 years ago, and now that I've moved out I live in a different small town on that same island (like 3 km from my parents house).
What are your hobbies?
Drawing, reading, listening to music and picking out background instruments, playing piano (tho I don't do it so often anymore), watching anime, playing games (esp totk and genshin atm) and I really enjoy being outside with my dog or my horse or just being in nature in general.
Do you have any pets?
My sweet puppy hannah (she's 5 and huge but still forever a puppy), my cats samson and gert (named after a belgium tv show for kids) and me and my sister have two horses named mira and april. Mira is almost 24 and deep deep inside really sweet but can be kinda mean on the outside and april is almost 13 and loves cuddling :). I'm almost everyday at my parents house so I think those pets count too, so there's billie and borre (two dogs), kebab and bobbie (sheep), scooby (cat who is 10? Older? Idk) and the 5 chickens who don't really have names so we just call them "the chickies". Also Teddie's cat tijger is staying with me atm and he's a cutie :).
How tall are you?
1 meter 68, which I'm totally fine with. Tho it is a little weird that my little brother who's 7 years younger is taller than me now.
Favorite subject in school?
I didn't really have one tbh, but if I had to choose probably english? That one was the easiest for me so I didn't mind it.
Dream job?
My dream is to live on a small farm consisting of a little house with some property around it for my animals, and to spend my days doing my silly hobbies and spending a lot of time outside walking my dog or riding my horse. So whatever job I can do that makes enough money and enough free time :) I'd pass away before working a fulltime job tbh. I'm studying rn so maybe I can set smth up for myself once I have my diploma, but idk yet.
Whoever wants to do this too consider yourself tagged!!
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Ok since you reblogged that one post I hope you know I reread The Sum of Them for the 3rd time, maybe like a month ago, up until the last chapter and i never finished it cause i didnt want to experience it ending again (if that makes sense), i wish it never ended. I wish they could play baby games forever but its so important it does end because the ending is soo beautiful but so devastating, and it's beautiful because its so devastating, and my heart cant take experiencing that again :'-(
i already sent a message on here saying that your fic was the first fic to make me cry, possibly the first piece of LITERATURE in general to make me cry (i could be wrong but i cant remember any piece before that), and it made me cry 2 times when reading it for the first time. It is truly my favorite piece of McLennon fanfiction, but the only reason i dont fully consider it mine is that if someone were to ask me, it'd be too taboo/freaky to say but its truly one of the most heartfelt and complex ways ive ever seen anyone portray John and Paul while also feeling completely accurate and realistic. My god. And i love so many of your other fics too but The Sum of Them really means so much to me and I cant even say that enough. i wish you could just live as me and be inside my mind to fully grasp how much of an affect it had on me, I dont think i will ever be able to explain it sadly </3. But just know out of every McLennon fic ive ever read (and ive read many), THAT one is my very favorite out of like 100+. The way you characterize them is just so completely different from any other fic ive read and its so intimate and raw and holy shit i dont even have the words. Sorry i know im rambling at this point but I just think about it a lot! Also your fics are the only fics i enjoy anymore, (recent) beatles fics have gone down the drain in my opinion and yours are the only ones i can be satisfied with because, as far as im concerned, anything you write is automatically in-character for them after reading The Sum of Them lol x) thank you so SO much for writing cause it's truly exposed so many of my own desires and hidden , sensitive parts of myself that couldn't be excavated any other way without your work 💖
Dude... this is legitimately one of the best comments I've ever gotten. I wish I could memorize all of this and replay it for myself whenever I'm feeling blue. Thank you so so much, it means the world to me! I think all writers insert their own thoughts and emotions into their work, and I definitely do that in all of mine, but especially The Sum of Them. This fic is basically my wishlist of things I would do with a partner, as well as coming to better terms with my own kinks, so I'm glad it's been able to resonate with people. I'm also glad that I managed to keep John and Paul in character, even if John is crying every other paragraph lmao! I totally get what you're saying about wishing I could experience what you did, I wish I could too. Sometimes I reread my fics with the mindset of someone reading it for the first time, but it's just not the same. I'd give my left tit for more writers on my level or higher who wrote bottom!John or even ABDL fics, I swear. I don't read a lot of fics these days, but I'm usually disappointed whenever I check the Beatles tab. I'm also really really bad at remembering titles and author names, so I never remember what fics that I like! Thank God for bookmarks. I definitely understand not wanting to tell people that this is your favorite fic though, lol! I've been writing Beatles fics for a long time, but I created a new account on AO3 when I started writing these fics. I'm comfortable talking about this stuff, but only with the help of an alternate profile. I'm really really happy to help people explore this side of themselves though-- too often fics like mine are just really gross over-the-top and completely unrealistic portrayals in my opinion, and I guess I wanted to bring something sweeter and more realistic to the table. <3
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not jealous | jake sim
summary: jake sim is not a jealous person. at least that's what he tells himself. so why does he find himself going through your phone when a certain "bluejay park" decides to text you?
pairing: jake sim x y/n [ft. mentions of jay park]
genre: angst, fluff
warnings: angst, cursing (very minimal), one slightly suggestive sentence, jake being cute, some more angst lol, slightly cheesy bc jake’s just too cute ugh
wc: 3.8k
a/n: ok i loved writing this, which is why i went on to almost 4k words LOL oops. but anyways, i love jake a little too much and this type of scenario has been running around in my head for a while now so i decided to put it into words. also i may have created this blog just so i could post this somewhere LMAO anyways yeah this was my first fic so hope you guys enjoyyyy <3
Jake Sim is not a jealous person.
At least that's what he tells himself. To be fair, in his past relationships, he never showed any jealously. Then again, he doesn't know if he can call those relationships, "relationships". Does a fifth grade relationship with a girl who he was once dared to kiss during a game of Truth or Dare in the basement of a classmate's house during their 11th birthday party count? He doesn't remember being jealous when the same girl was later dared to kiss his classmate, Sunghoon. (Funny enough, that's how the two boys came to be best friends 'til this day, but that's a story for another time.)
But really, Jake doesn't think jealously is one of his traits, even if he's now almost 20 years old without any experience with love other than his current relationship with you and that short-lived romance in the fifth grade. (What was her name again? Jake would have to ask Sunghoon later.)
So he doesn't know what clicked in that brain of his that lead him to this current situation he was in. He doesn't know why he felt a little spark of anger in him when your phone, which you left right next to him on the couch while you went to take a shower, kept buzzing with texts from "bluejay park". He doesn't know why he couldn't kept his eyes distracted from the messages, although your phone was constantly lighting up because whatever it was Jay had to say to you, he would not shut up about it. He doesn't know why he questioned what your relationship with Jay was for a split second.
In fact, you're close with all of Jake's friends. That's one of his favorite things about you, you get along so well with all his friends you might as well replace Jake himself in the friend group. So he doesn't know what tells him to take a little glance at your phone—at the messages.
But he finds himself doing it anyways.
Hearing that the water in the shower was still running (you were always the type to take long showers), he quickly grabs your phone and scrolls through the lock screen just to find that he couldn't even read the messages since you had your notifications set so no one could read them unless the phone was unlocked (darn you and your settings!) Thankfully, Jake knew your passcode––and you knew his too––or he thought he did. Until the iPhone vibrated, telling him the passcode was wrong.
He must've entered it too fast or something. So he tries again.
And again.
And again.
Until the iPhone switches its screen to say: "iPhone is disabled. Try again in 5 minutes."
There's no way. You never change your password. And even if you did, you would tell him—you two even had each other's fingerprints saved into each other's phones in the past (you know, before the world decided that Apple's home button was too lame and decided to just completely get rid of it). If there was an option to save multiple faces for Face ID, you two would be that couple that saved each others faces in your own phones.
That being said, Jake sat there, your phone in hand, frozen. Why was your phone locked? Why was Jay texting you 10 texts per second? Why did he feel guilty about this entire situation?
He hears the shower switch off and in that moment, he swears he feels his heart beat just a little faster. He tells himself there's no way you'll be out before the 5 minutes are up. You followed a really meticulous skincare routine (one that Jake memorized by now) that took an extra 15 minutes of your time after each shower.
"Hey Jake?" Your voice calls out from the tiny bathroom door crack that you left open before you hopped in the shower, "Is my phone out there? Do you mind bringing it to me?"
Fuck.
Jake shifts on the couch. Taps his foot on the ground. Returns your phone to its original spot. Clears his throat.
"Don't you want to get dressed first?" he calls back, quite timidly.
He can hear you stop moving around in the bathroom. Probably telling yourself what an odd response that was. To be fair, it was an odd question, considering the fact that you two have been together for so long, it’s not like he hasn’t seen you undressed before...intentionally or not.
Next thing he knows, the steam is rolling out of the bathroom door and you're stepping out in your towel, eyebrows raised.
"If you didn't want to get up from the couch, you could've just said so, you lazy butt," you smirk at him as you walk towards him and the couch, leaving a faint trail of water drops behind you. Jake's eyes follow your figure as you go to grab your phone and lift the screen towards yourself.
That's when he freezes. You do too.
You cock your head, as if asking yourself why it was disabled. He can hear the gears in your head turning.
"Jake, did you try to unlock my phone?"
He runs through all the possible excuses he could blurt out. Come on Jake, think of something! But he knows he can't lie to you.
Too many beats of silence pass by.
"Maybe," he finally says—or more like murmurs. He looks up to you like a child looking up at their mom, who just them caught stealing a cookie from the cookie jar. To his surprise, you don't show any hint of anger. A flash of confusion—and is that worry he sees?—crosses your face for a split second before you shrug and turn towards your room to change, dropping the subject. It was natural for you two to use each other's phones anyways. So then why did you have that look of worry?
Jake knows you well, a little too well. But that's what you love about him. He can easily read all your emotions. One of the many things he picked up from dating you for almost two years now. But why would you care if he tried to get into your phone? Why would that worry you? All the possibilities run through head and his own worry begins to increase. He trusts you. He does.
So then why does the thought bother him throughout the entire day? Why does he bring it up during dinner later that night, when you're both cuddled on your sofa, slurping take-out ramen while rewatching your favorite k-drama under the thick blanket that you always keep in your living room for nights like these?
"Huh? Of course I've heard from Jay today, we had that conversation about that stupid meme you boys kept laughing about in the groupchat we're all in, didn't we?" You answer him when he asks if you've heard from Jay lately. You sit up from your warm spot under Jake's arm to put your empty bowl on the coffee table in front of you. When you lean back, you look up at him,
"Why do you ask?"
"Oh, it's nothing, just wondering," he says, avoiding your eyes by keeping his own trained on the series currently playing on your TV. This would be your third time rewatching this series together. He would never complain to you though, he knows how much you love it and if he were being honest, he was secretly attached to the characters—not that he would ever tell you, he would never hear the end of it from you and the boys.
"You're being weird. Just tell me, or did you forget that I can practically read your mind," you say with a giggle and shove to his side, the one you were currently warmly cuddled into. Jake wasn't the only one who learned how to read emotions; you could read him just as well as he could read you. And like you, that's one of the many things he loved about you. But maybe not in this case.
He toyed around with the contents inside his ramen bowl with his chopsticks.
"I just..." God, how does he word this? Why was he having trouble explaining it? You were the easiest person to talk to. To him, you were the only person he could tell everything to.
"Jaywastextingyouabunchearlier," he blurts out quickly, but not quickly enough for you to miss it.
He feels you shift under his arm. He feels the air in the room shift. Tension.
"What?" Now you're sitting upright, legs criss-crossed in front of you on the couch but turned, so your body is completely facing him. He mirrors you, sitting up to put his ramen bowl next to yours on the surface, but he stays facing the TV.
"Your phone kept going off because of him when you were showering," he says with a little more confidence. But inside, he was nervous as hell, the same nervous as when he asked you out for the first time many moons ago. But it's too late to back out now, he brought it up first, anyways. Guess we're having this conversation now, good going Jake!
"Is that why you tried unlocking my phone earlier? I mean I thought you were just trying to leave selfies on my phone like you always do but you were trying to read my texts?" You question, slightly raising your soft voice. He doesn't know how to react, he hates confrontation.
"It wasn't like that, Jay just kept spamming you and like I—why was he even texting you in the first place? Then your phone got disabled because you changed your password, which you never do by the way, so I–"
"I changed it because my little sister kept getting into my phone when I went to visit my family yesterday! Did you really think I was hiding something from you? You know I can text whoever I want, right? You don't own me."
Okay so now he's managed to make you angry. Good going Jake, part 2!
"Okay but what does Jay need from you so bad that he has to send you like 50 messages at once?" He's standing now. So are you, eyebrows furrowed together as you collect your bowls from the table.
Standing there, bowls in hand, you say, "Jake, that's none of your business! It wasn't even that big of a deal, I don't know why you felt the need to nosy around."
"Well, if he's texting you non-stop, then obviously it's a big deal! We wouldn't even be having this conversation if you would just tell me what you guys were talking about," he murmurs back, eyes narrowing. You scoff as you trail into your kitchen. He follows behind and stops at the other side at your kitchen island as you place the dirty dishes into the sink.
"No, we're having this conversation because you obviously don't trust me! It doesn't matter what we were talking about, it doesn't matter who I was texting! I could be texting your mother and I shouldn't have to tell you what we were talking about! That's why we're having this conversation," you say as you turn back to face him from the other end.
He hates this. He hates fighting with you (which is a very, very rare occasion). He hates that you think he doesn't trust you. He hates his insecurity eating at him, telling him to keep questioning you on why you and Jay were talking in the first place. He was aware that you were close with his friends, but it wasn't until the texts he realized just how close you are with them. It's not that he didn't trust you, he just didn't know how to act when it came to you and other guys. God knows how he got lucky enough to meet you, let alone date you, so the thought of him losing you to someone else actually terrified him. Not only were you his first real relationship, but he wanted you to be his first and only one in life. You were it for him.
"Why did he text you." He deadpans from his side of the kitchen.
You scoff with a hint of exasperation. "You're kidding me."
You stare at him. He stares back, quirking an eyebrow, as if restating the same question back, as if testing you.
You're fuming now. Why was he making it so hard? Why was he doubting you? Out of frustration, you start laughing, which scares him. That can't be good.
"Fine. You wanna know so bad? Take a look," you're one tone level away from screaming as you take your phone out of your pocket, unlock it, and open up your conversation with "bluejay park", sliding the phone across the island to reach him.
Jake stares at the phone which now lies there, unlocked, facing him. Isn't this what he wanted? It is, right? That's why he started this dreaded argument with you in the first place.
Then why does he feel so fucking awful?
He looks back up at you, to see you sighing and looking up at the ceiling, as if trying to force your forming tears back into your eyes.
Yup, he feels horrible.
"Happy? Happy to know we were just trying to plan a surprise birthday party for you but you and your jealously just had to know huh, Jake?" You quickly state, voice cracking, as you tried not to choke up. You weren't sad that he found out about the surprise. You were sad that it felt like he didn't trust you. That he thought you were the type of person to do god knows what behind his back. You hated the feeling of not being trusted. Especially by Jake, of all people.
"Fuck."
Jake's face (and heart) falls with the most broken expression you've ever seen. But you're too sad, angry, tired (a mix of all?) to care. Your only goal right now is to not let him see you cry.
You hurry past him, across your apartment, and into your bedroom, slamming the door behind you, leaving behind a shocked, and regretful, Jake.
His heart shrinks when he hears the door slam shut and a little more when he looks down at the still unlocked phone in front of him. He didn't have the heart in him to look at it anymore. Of course he trusted you, he knew what you said was the truth.
He mentally screams at himself for assuming the worst––for thinking that you, a literal angel, would betray him. First, he thought he was losing you to someone else. Now, he was afraid he just lost you through his own actions.
He hesitantly sulks over to your door, softly knocking when he reaches it.
"Y/N?"
No response.
"Y/N, I'm so sorry. I didn't know, I let my—”
"Jake just please leave me alone for now," he hears you painfully say from a distance, meaning you're on your bed. He knows the door's unlocked—the lock on your door hasn't been working for a long time now, despite the many times he tells you to talk to your landlord about it. But he doesn't find it in him to open it. He knows he messed up. If he saw you in there right now, crying, he wouldn't know what to do. He wouldn't know what he would to do himself, knowing he was the reason behind your tears.
He nods in silence, knowing you can't see him, but does so anyways and returns to his spot on the couch. He could leave right now, go back to the dorm with the rest of the guys, let you have your space like you wanted. But his heart hurts at the idea of leaving you sad, angry, or a combination of both. He can't leave this unresolved. He fucked up, he has to fix it.
And so he sits on your couch for another hour. The clock on the wall behind him continues to tick as the silent tension in your apartment continues to grow. When it hits 11pm and he's sure you've slumbered off into sleep, he quietly enters your room.
He can see your figure in the dark, your back facing the door as you're curled up into yourself under the comforter. He feels his heart drop a little more when he imagines you crying in that position from earlier. He slowly peels the comforter open and gets into his side of the bed, careful not to bother your sleeping figure.
Laying there, staring up at the ceiling, he's never felt more like a stranger in your bed. It's not that he hasn't slept over before, god knows he's probably slept over at your place more than he has in his own bed. But right now, in this moment, he just felt awful. Like he didn't deserve to be in such close proximity to you. How could he be deserving? He violated your privacy, made you feel like you weren't trusted, doubted your relationship.
These thoughts run through Jake's head as he stares up at your ceiling fan, wishing he could turn back time to a few hours ago, before he checked your phone, before he let his insecurities get to the best of him.
You can feel the dip he makes in the bed behind you when he gets in. Of course you're not asleep. There's no way sleep could reach you when you had the recent events constantly replaying in your head like a broken record.
You knew Jake with all your heart. You didn't have to look at him to know he was probably laying there, hurt, staring up at the ceiling, drafting what to say once you wake up—or once he knows you're actually still awake.
You decide to break the tension by turning to lay on your other side, facing him.
You were wrong. Thanks to the little sliver of moonlight shining through your sheer curtains, you can see him, now laying on his side, already looking at you with so much regret in his eyes. You can almost hear the cracks in your heart physically forming.
His eyes widen when he realizes you're still awake. He opens his mouth to say something, but not before you quickly shift over to his side of the bed and embrace him in a tight hold, burying your face into his chest. Without any hesitation, he returns the gesture, arms holding your body as close to him as possible. As if once he let go, he'd lose you forever.
He lets out a sigh of relief as he breathes you in. He didn't even know he was holding his breath all this time.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry Y/N," he mutters into your hair. He feels his hoodie getting wet from where you buried your face. He pulls you closer, if that's even possible, feeling his own eyes heating up with sadness. He would never forgive himself for making you feel this way.
"You know I trust you right? Please know that. I shouldn't have assumed the worst when I saw your phone. I...I let my insecurities get to the best of me."
You move your head from its home on his chest to look up at him, as if asking him to elaborate. This was new to you, you didn't know he held insecurities in your relationship. But it wasn't because of you, no, you were his entire world. Losing you meant losing everything.
Jake's never been the best at saying his feelings. That's why it took him so long (with the help of his six best friends) to finally confess how he felt about you. He was afraid of letting people in if they could easily walk out. Maybe that's why he never let anyone into his life before you. But oh, were you an exception. The second he met you, he knew he was fucked. But thank god he did, because thanks to you, he's been able to be more open, more vulnerable. He's able to talk to you about anything and everything. He doesn't have that same fear of losing people anymore, not when he has you in his life to reassure him every step of the way. But right now, in this moment, he doesn't know how to tell you that his new fear was, in fact, just losing you.
The sheer idea of you not being a part of his life anymore terrified him.
"I hope you know you're never going to lose me Jake, if that's what you're insecure about," you softly mutter as you wrap your free arm that's not stuck in between both your bodies around him to gently play with the ends of his hair. It's as if you could read his mind, he loves that you know him so well.
"It just sucks that you could even think I would ever do something as awful as what you were assuming...with one of your closest friends nonetheless," you continue.
"I know. I know, and I feel terrible. I'm so sorry. I know you would never do anything remotely close to that, and I know you would never intentionally try to keep anything from me," he sighs. He shifts so he can lie down on his back, bringing you with him to lie on his chest, never letting you go once. "It's just...I just don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you Y/N. Everyday, I ask myself what heroic thing I must've done in my past life to deserve this life with you and I can't help but think you could just as easily be stripped away from me."
As much as your heart breaks listening to him rant, you feel your love for him grow even more. You knew how hard it was for him to put his true emotions into words, and him telling you this reminded you how much trust he had in you.
After some moments of silence, moments of him drawing random shapes onto your back, moments of you two just holding each other like it was the end of the world, you speak up.
"I love you. I'm sorry for making you doubt yourself—"
"No, it's not your fault, I can't help but think things like that. I just don't know what I did to deserve you, and I know that I need to be mo–"
"Babe let me finish," you say with a little giggle in your tone. He immediately stops and mutters a little "sorry". How cute, you tell yourself.
"I was gonna say," you look back up at him so you're making direct eye contact now. "You're the only one that's ever on my mind, Jake. I can't help the way you think, but I can assure you that there is no one else I would rather be with. And I mean that for the rest of life."
You snuggle back into the comfortable hoodie he's currently wearing (you make a mental note to yourself to steal it from him later) and decide to ease the tension,
"So you're stuck with me for life, sorry to inform you Mr. Sim."
Jake lets out a laugh, looking down at you to see you returning his smile with a cheeky one.
"I love you. So much," he says so sincerely, so genuinely, that you almost tear up again from how content you were. Now you were asking yourself, what did you do to deserve him?
Jake Sim is not a jealous person.
No, he just loves you.
A lot.
#ilovehimsomuchcanhestopbeingcute#enhypen#enhypen imagines#enhypen fics#enhypen scenarios#enhypen jake#jakesim#enhypen fluff#enhypen angst#enhypen x reader#enhypen jake sim#enhypen jake fluff#jake sim x reader#enhypen jake imagine#enhyphen imagines#jake fluff#jake sim#jake shim#iland#iland jake#iland imagines#jake
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okay i'm not getting into the lore of these things but the important thing to know going in is that all the little teenybopper disney villain kids have anime wigs on. here's a promotional still that keeps showing up so, I'm gonna guess, this is what Marketing considered the Platonic Ideal of all the important hair in this thing.
Please note the second from the right, in blue.
I would give ANYTHING to know what the fuck was going on behind the scenes with her hair and makeup because this shit gets INSANE.
We meet her and she's playing swords with her dad, Prince Charming, and her hair looks pretty different from the box art curl-wise already BUT she's also got braids in, so I'm willing to let it slide a little bit. This is the most normal it will look for the entire movie lmao
It shifts pretty much immediately after they change locations but those shots were quick enough you might not notice anything is wrong. Five minutes later we get a good look and: that's definitely different.
okay curls are WEIRD. My curls look different on different days! Maybe this was intentional.
We change scenes again and Um
From here on, literally every scene she's in uses a completely different wig. It changes length, curl pattern, even the color shade.
A personal favorite: during a scene in Magic School Class it literally changed lengths every time they changed the camera angle
Anyway we keep cycling through vaguely similar but not QUITE the same wigs and styles, including one memorable instance where you could see the edge of it across her forehead (that was also when I finally figured out those are curls above her eyebrows, not little...princess, gem, things? I think they were trying to do laid edges but lol lmao)
Then, my FAVORITE scene that I'm not convinced wasn't just a thing the team was doing intentionally like Jumba's head getting bigger over the course of Lilo and Stitch: this bit where her hair grows like two full feet after she ties it back to work.
These films are a total shitshow no matter how you look at it, like, obviously We Know This I'm aware of what I'm in for when I get hammered and turn them on BUT. I am kind of floored by how little effort was put into making these cereal box mascot characters adhere to their designs, since the designs are literally the entire point of this series about disney villain offspring gijinkas. We went to check the reddit to see what Real Fans thought and somebody claimed the hair and makeup team for her kept getting fired, but I couldn't find ANY additional info anywhere so I have no idea if it's true or not. I would LOVE to know the deal here though, for real, please forward any exclusive crew info about this film to me or add it here I've worked enough theater productions I am DESPERATE to know what the fuck was going on lmao
Thanks for coming along with me, I hope you enjoyed this window into another world for a moment. Lee and I are straight up film masochists, there is something wrong with us, don't watch Descendants probably.
actually i have something to say about Descendants 4 Rise of Red and that is what in the GOD damn was happening with the hair in this feature film.
#we were SCREAMING every time this girl appeared in a new scene#if you made a drinking game of this you would die
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No Light, No Light
Request: Yes or No
I'm doing everything but that Jacob Black fic lmao. I'm obsessed with this song and this (Y/N).
You are the hole in my head
You are the space in my bed
You are the silence in between
What I thought and what I said
Jason watched as you laughed at one of Gar's jokes, hands covered in cookie dough as you, Rachel, and Gar attempted to make cookies. In Jason's mind, your smile alone could lift anyone's spirits and the way your eyes shone with happiness. It made his heart swirl with affection and butterflies fill his stomach. You grinned, rubbing cookie dough on Rachel's cheek. She squealed, laughing. Gar took the opportunity to eat some cookie dough before Rachel could scold him.
"Jay!" Christ, nobody could make his legs turn to jelly and his cheeks turn soft pink like you.
"Come join us." You cooed, eyes soft and angelic.
You are the night-time fear
You are the morning when it's clear
When it's over, you're the start
You're my head and you're my heart
You sipped on your orange juice, watching the cookies bake in the oven while Gar and Rachel laughed in the other room. Jason's eyes looked at the golden markings on your (S/C) skin. They were gorgeous and fit you perfectly. Jason reached out, tracing one with his finger. Your skin was warm and soft to the touch. You finished your juice, licking your lips and placing the cup in the sink. Jason glanced up at your eyes. You really were Apollo's son. When Kory and Dick told the team, he almost laughed. Then, he saw you. You had been very suspicious and distant at first, you had an injured wing of course, but you grew closer to the team and eventually joined them. Jason couldn't stop his feelings from flourishing.
No light, no light
In your bright blue eyes
I never knew daylight could be so violent
A revelation in the light of day
Jason hissed, hands gripping the sheets.
"Sorry." You whispered, eyes filled with cocern. You continued to use your power to close up his wound. It gave a slight burn. the deeper the wound, the more it burned. It made sense, your powers had to do with light and fire afterall. Jason shrugged.
"I've felt worse." He mumbled, watching the wound close completely. A scar took its place. You gave a small smile.
"You should be careful, Jay." You gently grabbed his hand, rubbing your thumb against his, unaware of the way his heart sped up. Jason grinned, playfulness shining in his blue eyes.
"I'm always careful, can't you tell?" He motioned to the scar. You let a laugh slip and rolled your eyes.
You can't choose what stays and what fades away
And I'd do anything to make you stay
No light, no light
Tell me what you want me to say
You took notice of the way Jason shivered. The temperature had suddenly dropped over night, it was no wonder he was freezing. You pulled the cozy and warm blanket up, giving a smile as you stood.
"Can you stay?" Jason asked, fingers wrapping around yours as he stared at you with hopeful eyes. You gave in, not being able to resist his puppy eyes. You got into bed with him, feeling him cuddle against you, seeking your warmth.
"Christ, you're like a heater." He mumbled. You chuckled, watching him use your arm as a pillow. You ran your fingers through his messy dark locks, watching him doze off. Jason scooted closer, heading moving onto your shoulder as his arms wrapped around your torso.
Through the crowd I was crying out and
In your place there were a thousand other faces
I was disappearing in plain sight
Heaven help me, I need to make it right
You watched as Dick and Jason argued, getting into each others faces. You stood up from your spot on the couch, approaching them.
"Guys?"
"If you weren't so reckless-"
"Reckless?! I was protecting the team!"
"Guys!" You spoke louder, breaking their argument. They stopped and looked at you. Dick sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He let out an exhausted sigh.
"What?" He asked.
"Can you... Solve this disagreement more calmly? Or at least not in front of the others?" You asked, motioning to Rachel and Gar. Dick glanced at them before nodding.
"Yeah," He nodded. "Can do."
"Jesus.." Jason rolled his eyes, arms crossing.
"You know what? I don't need this shit." Jason snarled, storming out after bumping shoulders with Dick. You watched him leave with a sigh.
"He'll be back. He'd never go far without you." Dick said as he walked past you. Your brows furrowed at his brows.
You want a revelation
You want to get right
But it's a conversation
I just can't have tonight
You shifted your gaze away from the music sheet and looked at the figure leaning against your doorway.
"What's up, Jay?" You asked, nodding for him to enter. He did so, closing the door behind him and getting closer to you.
"Sorry for my attitude earlier, (N/N)." He apologized quietly, barely above a whisper as his fingers drummed against your desk. You faced him, brows raising as a smile slipped.
"You should be apologizing to Dick, not me." You said, locking eyes with him for a brief second before he tore his eyes away.
"I know.." He licked his lips, gaze focusing on your lamp. "I don't want to though. Not yet."
"Okay, but do it soon." You gave a comforting smile.
"You wanna sleep in here again?" You asked, putting away your music sheets and standing up. Jason nodded, cheeks and ears turning a soft red.
You want a revelation
Some kind of resolution
You want a revelation
You approached your dresser, hearing the bed squeaking as Jason sat down. You slid off your shirt, rolling your shoulders. Jason studied your wing markings, capturing and memorizing every detail. You changed into some sweats before going to your bed and laying down. You turned off the lamp once you pulled the blankets up and shifted to face Jason. Your eyes adjusted quickly to the dark so you were able to see Jason's face more clearly. Your raised your hand, fingers tracing random shapes against his cheek until he fell asleep. You leaned closer, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead.
"Night, Jay." You mumbled.
No light, no light
In your bright blue eyes
I never knew daylight could be so violent
A revelation in the light of day
You can't choose what stays and what fades away
And I'd do anything to make you stay
No light, no light
Tell me what you want me to say
"Did Jason ever come back last night?" Dawn asked, pouring you some juice. You nodded. Her brows furrowed.
"Really? When I checked his room he wasn't there." She said.
"He slept in my room." You told her, grabbing the cup and bringing it up to your lips. Her brows raised and a smile appeared on her face.
"Oh?" You cocked a brow at her tone.
"What?"
"He slept in your bed?" She asked with a grin. You rolled your eyes, figuring out where she was going with the conversation.
"Pay attention to your pancakes, Dawn."
Would you leave me
If I told you what I've done?
And would you leave me
If I told you what I've become?
You read over an article, talking about the new Robin being too brutal and unlike the old one. You looked over at Jason, watching play random keys on your piano. You weren't aware of the inner conflict going on in his mind. He was tore between asking you if you thought he was a bad Robin or not.
"Jay?"
"Yeah?"
"You're a good person, you know that, right?" You asked. Jason sent you a grin.
"Obviously." He watched you snort and look back at your phone. He relaxed, playing a decent tune on the piano. Jason licked his lips, switching onto a different conflict. Confessing his feelings.
Because it's so easy
To say it to a crowd
But it's so hard, my love
To say it to you out loud
Jason turned in his seat, looking at you. He cleared his throat. Your eyes flickered over to him.
"You've... You're into guys, right?" Jason asked. You nodded, putting your phone on the nightstand. He nimbled on his bottom lip, racking his brain for ways to confess.
"I think, no, I know I'm into guys." He said, avoiding eye contact. Jason heard the bed squeak and looked up, seeing you sitting.
"And... For the longest time, I've had feelings for you. I thought it was just a small crush at first but..." Jason's typical confident and cocky attitude flew out the window. He was beyond nervous.
"I figured out that I really like you. Maybe more than like. You don't have to return my feelings or anything, I just wanted you to know how I feel about you."
No light, no light
In your bright blue eyes
I never knew daylight could be so violent
A revelation in the light of day
You can't choose what stays and what fades away
And I'd do anything to make you stay
No light, no light
Tell me what you want me to say
Jason felt anxious. The thought of you rejecting him was bad but the thought of you never speaking to him again was worse. He had gone to you with all of his secrets. He had spilled out all his thoughts and problems. Jason had told you about his past, Bruce, all his problems. He heard the bed squeak again and swallowed as your footsteps approached him. Jason kept his gaze on the floor, not wanting to look at you and break down. Warm hands cupped his cheeks, tilting his head up. Soft and gentle lips covered his and Jason froze up. He stood, his hands going to your wrists and grabbing them as he kissed you back. It was his first but he had seen enough to know how to kiss properly.
You want a revelation
You want to get right
But it's a conversation
I just can't have tonight
You want a revelation
Some kind of resolution
You want a revelation
You pulled back slowly, Jason almost chasing your lips for another kiss. You laughed at his flushed face and eagerness. You rested your forehead against his, bumping noses with him. Jason dropped his hands and instead placed them on your hips.
"Does that mean...?" He trailed off. You chuckled, nodding.
"Yes, you dork, I like you too." You grinned, watching his blue eyes light up. Jason leaned in, capturing your lips. It was sloppy but sweet.
You want a revelation
You want to get right
But it's a conversation
I just can't have tonight
You want a revelation
Some kind of resolution
Tell me what you want me to say
#x reader#x y/n#x you#x male!reader#dc#dc x male reader#dc x reader#dc universe#dc x y/n#dc x you#jason todd x male reader#jason todd x y/n#jason todd x you#jason todd#titans x reader#titans dc universe#titans x male reader#titans x y/n#titans x you#titans gar#gar logan#rachel roth#dick grayson#dc dawn#titans dawn#song fic#fluff
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i'm always interested in what you have to say when a big album comes out so what are your thoughts on positions? i've seen a lot of mixed opinions about it and would love to know! also if you have the time/energy maybe do the rating/summary of each track that you do? you dont have to if you dont want to but im intrigued!
omg thank you so much for caring about anything i have to say sdkjdsk 🥺 posting my opinions below!
SHUT UP: a good opening track, with suuuuch pretty strings and runs and harmonies and everything else. - 7.5/10
34+35: the laugh at the beginning should not be there bc it scared me on first listen lmao, but honestly this is so funny and catchy, “give me them babies” made me lol and i’ve had the coffee/healthy/squeaky thing stuck in my head since i heard it. - 8/10
MOTIVE: one of those weird songs where i really really really like the production and instrumental itself but i don’t like the melodies or lyrics or anything else, idk what it is... will definitely grow on me in time (i’ll keep listening to this one until it does because i can tell that i’ll love it like a year from now). i like doja a lot and really enjoyed her album but i hate her verse in this, like her voice is just not working for me in this, maybe just bc it’s such a strong contrast from ariana’s much smoother vocal. - 6.5/10
JUST LIKE MAGIC: so i remember when thank u next was released and everyone was losing their minds over nasa and i was like “.......it’s.....fine i guess” lmao that’s me over just like magic for this album. it’s okay, but it seems to be almost everyone’s favourite/top 5 and i don’t get that. some cute lyrics though. - 6/10
OFF THE TABLE: so this song is really beautiful and sad, but i did not need abel on this. in general, he’s been a bit hit or miss for me the past couple years. i love her parts, but his verse feels really hollow in comparison to hers, and i just think it would have been so much nicer and more intimate if it were solo. - 7/10
SIX THIRTY: i like this! i haven’t read many opinions on this song but i’m just remembering when everyone hated make up from tun and i loved it and went on to be like 1 of 5 make up stans, and i can see this being similar. - 7.5/10
SAFETY NET: i have...... no thoughts. definitely not a bad song, i just find it boring and feel no need to ever listen to it again lol. - 5/10
MY HAIR: definitely my third favourite of the album. so so so good, just the most insane vocals... like whistles for a whole verse? okay ma’am. - 8.5/10
NASTY: like safety net, it’s fine but i just don’t find this interesting and don’t think i’ll be re-listening. - 5/10
WEST SIDE: again, i’m not interested in this sdkjdsds. i think this would grow on me a bit because the chorus is catchy enough, but i don’t really care to keep listening long enough for that to happen. - 5/10
LOVE LANGUAGE: no, the way i lost my mind over this song on my first listen. SO good. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good. absolutely my favourite of the album and my second favourite song of hers in general (behind ntltc which is gonna be #1 for forever and ever). just ugh. yes! the second half of the album was feeling bland to me and then this completely salvaged it. the random outro feels unnecessary but i do not care. - 100/10
POSITIONS: really catchy! tbh i wish this album had just been a surprise drop with no lead (this could still be the single, but just have it released as a single at the same time as the album, like cardigan/folklore) because i feel like this song would have stood out on the tracklist sooo much more if i hadn’t already heard it when i listened to the album, if that makes sense? - 8/10
OBVIOUS: does this sound like a song that would be on yours truly to anyone else? not a really memorable track but i like it v much. - 8/10
POV: this might be the most mature and beautiful and touching song of her entire discography. such a real, mature love song that i think touches on parts of love and life that her love songs kind of hadn’t until this album. “i wanna trust me the way that you trust me” made me tear up so much. really sweet and genuine, i’m so happy for her. also such a great closing track. the thematic content of thank u next vs. positions is such a great reflection of her personal growth and healing! - 10/10
this is apparently my ranking for now:
overall as an album... i think it’s a good album. fun and quite unique to ariana (have seen a few comments saying that this album is not even pop or r&b but literally just her own genre, and i agree with that, everything on here sounds really distinctly ariana). not the best album in the world, and not her best album either (but not her worst at all). there are no bad songs tbh, just like... 2 too many filler tracks. the main criticism i’ve seen so far is that it’s just kind of a bland album, which is a criticism i understand (def don’t understand people who were yelling all over twitter about how bad it was when it leaked; i understand that tastes vary and such but this is literally not a bad album at all).
not to already be like “let’s move onto her next album,” but i think her next album will be a more interesting one; this album was really in line with what she did with sweetener and thank u next and i feel like the next album is gonna (have to) be a bit more of an evolution (the same way that sweetener was a definite “new chapter” after her first 3). if i had to rate the album out of 10 it’d probably be a 7.5. there are some tracks that i’ll never revisit tbqh, but love language and pov are gonna be on repeat for the next few days for sure.
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Hi! Just letting you know that I've been having a rough month and reading+re-reading your fics (and comment fics! love the ones about the Graves kiddies/families and Graves' team in the cell lmao) has been a great stress reliever for me :) I really want to leave longer comments on your chapters but I think I'll only be able to do that when stuff gets better lol. For the time being, thank you for the lovely writings!
Hey, I’m really sorry you’re having a rough month. I’m glad reading the fic and comment fics helps relieve a little stress, though. Please don’t worry about comments! I hope things get better for you soon.
And just in case it helps, I thought maybe you’d enjoy more comment fic just for you. ;)
… This might actually need to be its own series of comment fic. The Graves Brood vs. Ilvermorny
Ilvermorny, Massachusetts, October 1944
“Do you know,” Professor Jauncey mused, “I am starting to think I should just create a Graves-specific form letter to send to your parents.” He sounded more wistful than anything else, as though the streamlined precision of a form letter would protect him from further Graves sibling antics.
Gawain was not sure why the headmaster thought a form letter would protect him, but he sympathized with the impulse.
Gawain loved his older siblings, but he was not blind to their faults. Individually, Galahad and Olwen could be a lot to handle. Together, they were terrifying.
“Sorry, sir,” he said, and meant it. He had no idea how to make Galahad and Olwen stop being Galahad and Olwen, and he was pretty sure the headmaster didn’t either. Gawain knew better than to try, but the headmaster didn’t seem to have figured that out yet.
Jauncey sighed. “I really think you mean that,” he said.
“Well,” Gawain said. “I’m not sorry about disrupting Professor Thompson’s class.”
The headmaster sighed again. “Of course you’re not. What are you sorry about, then?”
“Galahad and Olwen.”
Jauncey’s puzzled look went a bit strained around the edges. A lot of people had that reaction to Galahad and Olwen, especially once they met them. “What do Galahad and Olwen have to do with your disrupting Professor Thompson’s class?”
“Nothing sir,” said Gawain. “I’m just sorry they’ve …” He made a vague hand gesture designed to convey Galahad and Olwen’s essential Galahad-and-Olwen-ness. “Y’know. Set a precedent for how the Graves family behaves.”
Jauncey looked down his nose at Gawain. He had rather a lot of nose to look down, so it was a pretty impressive look. “A precedent that you seem determined to follow,” he observed.
Gawain felt that was unfair, and said so. “I am not! I’m not crazy,” he hastened to assure the headmaster. Galahad and Olwen were determined to follow Dad and Gwen and a lot of the Aunties and Uncles into MACUSA. Gawain was pretty sure MACUSA and the rest of wizarding America would be safer for it, but he also thought that anyone who wanted to be an Auror was just plain nuts. Anyone who voluntarily got chased and hexed and sometimes tortured by Dark wizards had to be off their rocker.
“Mr. Graves,” Jauncey said, repressive. “Fascinating as this discussion is, I am not going to debate the relative sanity of anyone in the Graves family with you.”
Gawain squinted at him. He was pretty sure that the headmaster had just implied that they were all nuts, but he wasn’t one hundred percent certain. He wasn’t sure if he should be offended or not.
Probably not. He was already in enough trouble.
“Right, sir,” he said. “Sorry, sir.”
“Getting back to the matter at hand,” said Jauncey. “Why don’t you tell me, in your own words, what happened.”
Gawain resisted the urge to make a face. Dad liked that trick. So did Uncle John and Uncle Alex. It was an Auror thing. Asking people to tell you what happened in their own words put them at ease, and it also made them more likely to slip up and tell you more than they meant to.
Gawain had gotten wise to that trick when he was about seven.
“Professor Thompson was teaching us about healing potions,” Gawain said, trying to make it sound like he wasn’t thinking very carefully about what he was saying. “Today we were covering Pepper-Up, ‘cause we’re coming up on cold season, and he wanted to be preemptive. And then someone asked if he meant for us to test the potion on ourselves, and Professor Thompson said yes. And she said, that’s dangerous, sir, and he said, I assure you, Miss - Um.” Gawain gave the headmaster a slightly panicked look. He did not want to get Rosamund Weiss in trouble too. She hadn’t even done anything wrong, aside from point out that it was wrong to experiment on children. “Anyway,” he forged on. “He said, I assure you that if you brew the potion correctly, it’s not dangerous at all.
“Except, it kind of is,” Gawain said. “Because we’re students and we’re still learning, and I think Libby Frasier’s melted more cauldron’s than anyone else in Ilvermorny history, so her potion probably wouldn’t be safe to drink at all. And Uncle Robert says that you should never, ever test a potion that you’re not completely sure of. Especially not outside of a controlled laboratory setting,” he added, because Papa had a bizarre love of potions and he and Uncle Robert could go on about them for hours. “Uncle Robert has this whole speech about lab safety,” Gawain added. “I’ve heard it kind of a lot.”
Jauncey looked resigned. “Yes, I gathered. You seem to have it memorized.”
“Er,” said Gawain. “I didn’t really mean to give the lab safety speech,” he said. “It just kind of … happened.”
That part was the first out and out lie he’d told all day. Professor Thompson had turned an ugly look on Rosamund. Gawain knew that look. It was the look that said Rosamund would be the one to try Libby’s potion, regardless of how it turned out, and that he wouldn’t let her go to the infirmary afterwards, either.
Gawain hadn’t wanted Rosamund to be sick. The Weiss’ and the Graves’ were allies. Sort of. He didn’t think Dad and Director Weiss got along very well personally, but they had each other’s backs professionally and that seemed to be good enough for them. Grown-up’s were weird like that.
Also, Rosamund was really pretty. Gawain got kind of stupid around her sometimes. He couldn’t help it.
So he’d cleared his throat and said, “Actually, sir, Miss Weiss is absolutely correct. The dangers of cross-contamination alone present an unreasonable risk.”
Professor Thompson had stared at him. “Mr. Graves,” he’d said, in a tone that suggested that Gawain was twelve and therefore dumb. “Do you even know what cross-contamination means?”
“Contaminating one substance with another,” Gawain had said promptly. “It’s dangerous in a laboratory setting, or with food, if you have allergies. In a laboratory setting - especially a teaching one, like this one - you’ve no idea whether or not who used your workstation last cleaned it as well as they should have, so there’s a risk that your potion might be contaminated with whatever they were working on.”
“No one likes a know it all, Mr. Graves,” Thompson had drawled.
“Sorry, sir,” Gawain had said, obviously not sorry at all. “It’s just, shouldn’t we be taught the principles of lab safety? It’s important.”
Libby had raised her hand. “I’d kind of like to know the principles of lab safety,” she’d said.
“That’s because you’re dangerous,” Atticus Lee had said.
“Exactly,” Libby had said. “If there’s a way for me not to be dangerous in class, I want to know what it is.”
That had made a lot of sense to the rest of the class, and Gawain figured that was as good a time as any to launch into Uncle Robert’s Lab Safety Is Important And Here’s Why speech.
“You gave a twenty minute lecture on lab safety,” Jauncey said, drawing Gawain back into the present. “The other students took notes.”
Gawain rubbed the back of his neck, sheepish. “I might’ve been quoting Uncle Robert when I said there’d be a quiz.”
“And that just … happened,” said the headmaster.
“Yes?” Gawain ventured.
“Merlin’s beard,” said Jauncey. “It’s Galahad and the dueling club all over again.”
“Hey,” protested Gawain. “I’m not that bad.”
“Forgive me, Mr. Graves, but you and your brother have rather more in common than you think,” the headmaster said.
Rude, thought Gawain. He kept his mouth shut, though. Authority figures rarely wanted to know what you thought of their opinions.
“Please refrain from taking over your professor’s classes in the future,” Jauncey commanded.
“Yes, sir,” said Gawain.
“You will apologize to Professor Thompson,” the headmaster continued.
Since Jauncey didn’t say he had to be sincere, Gawain was willing to meet him halfway.
“Yes, sir,” Gawain said again.
“And you have two weeks of detention,” Jauncey finished.
“Yes, sir,” Gawain said.
Jauncey sighed. “You can go back to class,” he said.
“Thank you, sir,” Gawain said.
“And Gawain?”
Gawain turned back at the door. “Sir?”
“We do, actually, have your safety in mind. I wish you’d trust that.”
If he really had their safety in mind, he’d have taken Gawain and Rosamund’s point and made sure that Professor Thompson didn’t make the students test improperly prepared potions on one another.
Gawain ducked his head, acknowledging the headmaster’s point.
He bet Galahad and Owen would have some ideas about how to deal with Professor Thompson, if the headmaster wouldn’t.
Terrifying wasn’t so bad, when it was on your side. And there was nothing the Graves siblings couldn’t do, as long as they did it together.
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