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stxrvel · 6 months ago

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injustice (3)

series summary. the holy grail of the seven men who ruled the country's entertainment used to be your friends at school. now, ten years later and between successes and failures, what reason would they have to want to come back into your life? pairing. eventually ot7 x f!reader. content. first of all, english is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes! a lot of curse words, a lot of self-deprecation and low self esteem. no proofread. this is nawt silly writing, we're diving right into the aNgSt. jumpscare? iykyk a/n. hi guys! this was a rollercoaster for me to write, but i hope it doesn't come as harsh as i think it is. pls let me know what you think in the comments!! see you next week!!

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You had gone through a scenario like that in your head several times. A variety of moments, conversations and looks that always ended in the same unpleasant, inevitable and demoralizing way: you were forgotten by the people you loved most in the world. Only when you reached 18 would you realize how heartbreaking the dull thud of the silence of indifference was, how sharp and icy the loneliness was, how it penetrated and paralyzed your bones; but at that time, at 16, you could still convince yourself that all those things were only in your head and would always be there.

“Now that you're the last to go, you guys are much more likely to forget about me.”

“Of course not! In fact, as soon as I start earning money I'll save up to take you with us.”

Jungkook shook his head, his narrowed eyes judging you as if having insecurities was a sin. You believed his words at that moment, because being the last one still with you, 'cause you were going to graduate from school in the same year, it was the only thing you could do. Hold on to the idea that you really weren't going to be forgotten, because the mere conception of a future without your best friends was inconceivable.

“Jimin-hyung said he was going to try to call more often,” your friend went on, his eyes fixed on the bass on his lap and his important task of leaving it neat before returning it to its holy post in the school's music room. “I haven't talked to them in about three days.”

Jimin and Taehyung had left just a couple of months ago, but thanks to the opportunities opened to them with their incredible willingness, discipline and some string twitching on Namjoon's part, they had managed to get into a great academy to train and fulfill their dreams.

That also brought with it, as irreversible side effects, that your communication with them was drastically reduced. You had to constantly remind yourself and Jungkook that it was out of their control. With their future at stake, there was something for which they had to exert extreme effort and for which to sacrifice some other things.

“It's normal that they don't have as much time as they used to, Kookie.” You lowered your head, noticing the way his hands delicately handled the instrument on his legs. Since Jimin and Taehyung had left there was no time of day when you could tear yourself away from Jungkook, which is why you accompanied him to his extracurricular music lessons when you really should have been studying for the college entrance exam. “Life after school gets really hectic.”

“I've heard that college life is quieter.” Jungkook twisted his lips, wiping between the strings and his fingerprints left on the bass every time he moved it back and forth to clean it. It was an almost irresistible cycle.

“The only one at college right now is Seokjin and even about him we haven't heard much.” You leaned back against the piano, noticing Jungkook's movements pause for a moment as he surely reminisced about the few times he had been able to talk to Jin that month.

It had been two years since Seokjin had graduated and traveled all the way to the capital to study medicine. Needless to say, it was more than clear that communication with Jin would be almost nil from then on, but Jungkook always used to pout about it.

“It's just that Jin-hyung also chose a rather demanding career.” Jungkook twisted his lips, as if suppressing Jin in his head, waving the microfiber towel over the edges of the bass.

“And the others are trying too hard to carve their way through. It can be as complicated as going out to look for a job right after graduating.”

Jungkook nodded, admiring his cleaning job with a frown. He looked so focused that it caught you by surprise when he spoke again.

“You already know if you're going to college, noona? We're graduating this year.”

You blinked once, twice, three times. His nonchalant self went back to waving the towel over nonexistent smudges as you breathed in and decided not to go that route. “Will you?”

Jungkook raised his head, pausing his movements for a moment to try to analyze your gaze. With a sigh, he let out your poorly disguised way of shifting the focus of the conversation to get up and hang the instrument, glowing, on the wall of the music room.

“I don't know yet… Namjoon-hyung says he can help me.”

“Isn't it your dream, why do you doubt it?”

“I'm not sure, noona. What if I don't measure up? What if I fail?”

When your friend turned away, the mirror to his soul showed his vulnerability dancing on the edge of his eyelids. His distrust constricted your heart, a hand closing around your throat at the inner conflicts you knew Jungkook used to have and in the face of which you often couldn't do anything about because he didn't usually share such things.

“Then you try again.”

“Noona…” Jungkook wanted to grumble, it was obvious from the way his eyes moved to the ceiling, his head cocking as if he was about to give you a big life lesson on why you can't survive on motivational phrases.

But Jungkook was a softie about such things, even if he tried to hide it.

“Jungkook, you are literally a golden promise. No process is ever easy, especially in the industry you want to get into, but don't think for a second that you're going to outgrow it. You're one of the most capable people I've ever met.”

Your friend stopped his steps, when after hanging up the bass he was returning to your post in front of you, raising his head as if caught committing a prank. But the vulnerability in his eyes remained, and by the way they shone in the dim light of the room, still blinking to try to contain the emotion, you knew your words had tugged at just that thorn in his heart you were trying to pull out.

“Thank you, noona.”

“I'm just telling the truth.” You lifted a shoulder, shaking your head nonchalantly like it was no big deal, and Jungkook just let out an amused chuckle.

“You do know we'd never forget about you, right? How could we?”

“How could we?”

Yuna shook her head, frowning at her phone, oblivious to the way you cringed at her choice of words.

“She's bringing celebrities into the store and she want us to leave? Don't we work so well that we always take the top employee of the month spot even though it should only be held by one person? Don't we deserve that gift?”

You watched her, marveling at how after just a few seconds so many emotions could build up into an overwhelming knot in your chest. The old notes of an old piano played in the back of your head, bringing to the surface memories of when life was easier; when you thought you had it all and nothing would ever be better than that; when you thought you were enough.

“So what do you plan to do about it?” you blinked, focusing on the notation of bills in your notebook with an invisible hand squeezing your heart.

There was no use thinking about such things after so long.

Yuna pursed her lips, her expression serious and forceful. “I think we should have a sit-in.”

“We should? That sounds like more than one person.”

“Do you disagree with me?”

“I'm happy with going home early, especially on a Friday, you know?”

“y/n,” Yuna came up to your face over the cash register display case, her forearms resting on the glass and her eyes so bright with determination you were sure her head could light the whole store on fire the way she was scheming and scheming, running around like her life depended on it, “we could be close to meeting the seven gods of Olympus, and you think the best thing to do is go home?”

“Just in case you forgot, I have a business to run now.” You reminded her, moving to poke her with your middle finger all over her forehead and push her away from the cash register now that a new customer had come in.

“What business should a business matter when you could meet the reason for existence itself?”

Yuna dropped onto the display case, her body sliding like jelly until only her head was left on the glass. You and the new customer watched her, her arms limp at her sides and her gaze lost. A lone tear running down the bridge of her nose.

“God, you're so dramatic.”

“Does that mean yes?” Her head snapped up like a spring, a big smile scaring the soul out of the customer who ducked behind your friend to run for their order.

“No and stop acting like that, you're going to scare away customers.”

Yuna whined, her exaggerated tantrum leading you to wiggle your feet all the way to the cellar.

“I'm offering you the holy grail, and this is how you pay me?”

The sound of her feet shuffling behind you kept your head sane. Even though his insinuations were baseless, your heart was pounding so hard you felt your ribs throbbing through your muscles and skin.

Your boss had written to Yuna that you two could leave the store early today because she had a private meeting to attend. She asked them to leave everything to Patrick, including clearing the store of customers and not to worry about paying for the shift, because there would be no discount at the end of the month. Yuna was faithfully and blindly convinced that your boss really wanted you to stay, because she spent almost ten minutes with her eyes glued to the screen almost without blinking, watching the 'typing…' appear and disappear under your boss's contact name. 'I'm sure she's debating how much confidence she has in us…', she said as her red eyes missed no detail of that important chat and that primordial moment, ending in an offended 'none!' when her last message came through.

In the same way, Yuna convinced herself that the meeting that would take place in the same place where your feet were planted was going to be attended by the seven entertainment kings of the country. The unmentionables, for all practical purposes. Where had she come to that conclusion? There was no foundation. Had your boss given any hints? None. Yuna had her head in the clouds believing she could meet her idols if she insisted a little longer.

“Would you really prefer to stand your friend up to meet seven men you don't even know for sure will show up here?”

“Well…if you put it that way it sounds like I'm doing something wrong.”

“Mmm, you just figured that out?”

Yuna dropped her shoulders as you took off your apron. Her tactics weren't going to work and it was time to give up. She half-heartedly opened her locker and stood looking at you with puppy dog eyes. You felt as guilty as if you had stepped on her tail by accident.

“Look, if I'm being honest, I doubt gigantically that Sol will tell you that you can stay if you ask her.”

“Not even for everything we've been through together?”

“She's still our boss, Yuna.”

Your friend mimicked your actions with a slower speed, her emotion draining away little by little. When her head cocked to the side, halfway through taking off her apron, you only sighed.

“The worst that can happen is I get fired, right?”

You weren't surprised that she was nevertheless willing to cross that line.

“That doesn't sound like much to you?”

“I can always write her a 'ha, ha, just joking' afterwards and get out of harm's way.”

You didn't contain the irresistible urge to roll your eyes and Yuna took that as her own signal or green light. Next thing you knew she was pulling out her phone and typing animatedly on the screen.

“I really don't think you should do that.”

“I have to try! Can I call myself a good fan if I don't do even the impossible?”

“You don't even know if they'll come.”

“I have a hunch.”

With her hand over her heart, Yuna sent the message and you feared for her life. While Sol was not at all close to the idea and conceptualization of a crazy and ruthlessly demanding boss, she did draw the line at several specific situations that they had both learned to respect. One of those was, of course, private meetings at her place. You and Yuna had set up the place countless times for Sol to sit quietly and chat with her most famous acquaintances, because her office was too formal to deal with them there, but her own home was extremely informal for the same purpose. The cafeteria served as a middle ground, the perfect place to be comfortable when talking business.

“Patrick is coming.” Yuna spoke again and by the way her eyes didn't leave the screen you could tell Sol hadn't responded yet.

“I wish you the best of luck, Yuna.”

“Thank you! Coming from you it's a blessing, indeed.”

“And why's that?”

You finally stood up, closing your locker with your strap bag over your right shoulder. You were ready to leave while your friend was still biting her index fingernail waiting for an almost impossible and inconceivable message from her boss.

“What else can I expect from the writer who blew up overnight and is soon going to be one of the New York Times bestsellers and famous worldwide?”

“Ah,” you turned your head, unable to contain inwardly the way a warmth settled in your chest; you still had a hard time accepting how things had turned out, but as long as you couldn't control the influx of orders that had to take a back seat, “smooth.”

Yuna smiled and when her eyes met yours you swore she was about to tell you one more time how proud she was of you, but her phone vibrated in her hands and the last thing you saw her eyes widen exaggeratedly before her scream shook the foundations of the store and almost the entire city.

“SHE SAID YES!!!!”

Arriving home unleashed immeasurable chaos.

As soon as you opened the front door, a river of books fell like dominoes, with your father's groans and your mother's screams in the background, the sound of your work echoing in your head like lightning as stomping echoed through the house.

“Seojun, I told you to be careful walking…!”The angry expression on your mother's face disappeared the moment she recognized your face, her features softening as she knew it was her daughter. “Honey. What are you doing here so early?”

“Is that y/n?” your dad's exclamation rang out from the kitchen.

“Yes!” your mom yelled back.

The welcome was nice, but things only got more and more tedious from then on. On the one hand, you had your father telling you about accounts, numbers and multiplications of how much you had to take out of your pocket to pay for the prints, how much you would make if you sold all the books you had printed and how much you would get back, and on the other hand you had your mother telling you about the countless publishers who had written to your dm's seeking to sponsor the sale of your books, taking advantage of the boom that had been generated by the phenomenon that was Kim Taehyung.

Seojun, who had decided to move back home for the weekend to help with whatever was needed, was telling you that they had had to hire five different deliverymen -three of them trucks- to be able to deliver as many orders a day as possible, while vehemently hitting your father's forearm to remind him to include that in the accounts.

Your father was in charge of everything related to money, your mother of the direct communication with customers and Seojun of the orders; everything was done by them, with Yuna's help when she was not working, with the excuse that after so many years you just had to sit down and enjoy the fruit of your sowing without any worries.

But at that moment, when they had just let go and thrown all their worries at your feet, they stared at you expectantly.

"We need a loan."

Your mother jumped in her chair. "That's what I said!"

"That's not necessary." Your father shook his head, as he surely would have done when your mother suggested the idea judging by the expression that had planted itself on her face. "Take a loan from my wallet, but don't do business with those bankers. They'll gouge your eyes out with interest."

"Or take a publisher's offer. They'll take care of all this." Seojun pointed out, his long black hair brushing his eyebrows even though he shook it nonchalantly so he could get a good look at the three of them.

"Publishers can be freeloaders too." Your mother counter-argued, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Oh, yeah? How many publishers have you signed on with to assert that?"

"Wow, careful with that tone, Mr. Lawyer." Your father pointed at your brother, while your mother only raised an eyebrow at him in response. Seojun sank into the chair, barely dragging an apology through his teeth.

"It's not a bad idea either, Dad."

His brown eyes returned to meet your gaze and you noticed the hesitation in them.

"Well, ultimately, it's your decision, honey."

Your mother squeezed your shoulder.

"I say we should listen to the lawyer."

"Hey!" Seojun frowned, straightening up on the chair. "Don't put such a big responsibility on me!"

Your father snorted. "But then weren't you comfortable a while ago giving orders and saying that I don't know what thing you had already seen it in class and that's why you knew what we had to do?"

"Dad…" Seojun elongated.

"Are you ready for such a position or not, Seojun? Tell me to start looking for another lawyer."

Your mother barely contained her laughter, only because of the offended sideways glance her own son sent her way. Laughter blossomed in your chest, too, like a big breath of fresh air in a field of flowers. You didn't know you needed that moment so badly until the tension disappeared from your shoulders as you laughed with your parents and your brother grumbled with his arms crossed.

A new batch of orders just went out - thank you so much for your purchases!

You looked at the story your mom had uploaded to Instagram in the solitude of your bedroom. The rest of the day was spent strategizing and planning marketing ideas that would likely lead you to ruin. In a defeated silence, you admitted that Yuna was really needed.

You had texted your friend a while ago, as the sunset was beginning to paint the sky with colors, but she still hadn't even checked her phone. Her last connection was a few minutes after you left at noon. You decided not to insist, even though you were a little curious about who had finally shown up at the store.

The best thing about that busy rest of the afternoon was that you'd been able to keep yourself busy enough to completely ignore the way you'd been whipped up by a few memories that morning in Yuna's company. A simple question had caused all that. And of course, with a heart as weak as a chick's and willpower almost non-existent, you let yourself be pulled right in that moment of loneliness into the well of memories.

“Jungkookie?”

Your voice pierced the silence and a shiver ran through your body as the darkness greeted you back. A few minutes passed after you plunged into the completely darkened room, walking tentatively and slowly inside, you heard a movement just outside the door you had just entered.

“Noona…”

You couldn't see him, but you didn't need to. The sobs that filled the room were enough to be able to guide you through that darkness, as indistinguishable as coal, and wrap your arms around his hunched figure on the floor beside the door.

The house was alone and as dark as that room the last night Jungkook would be there. Passing through the empty corridors of his house was a torment, but you could only imagine how your friend would feel in his place, unable to stop time as it slipped through his fingers.

Several times he had already told you that he didn't want to leave. You didn't think he meant it.

“They're waiting for you downstairs.”

“I know. I don't want to go, noona.” Jungkook moved his arms to wrap around your waist in a desperate grip, his erratic breathing against your neck breaking your heart. “I want to stay. It doesn't matter if I never become an idol. That's not important.”

“Jungkook…”

“I don't want to leave you…”

His halting voice was barely understandable, trying to be muffled by the jacket you were wearing that night when you went to see him off and didn't find him in the car with his parents. The heater seemed not to be a worthy opponent for that cold night.

“Jungkook, you're not going to leave me. We'll keep in touch. Why do you worry so much?”

“I don't want to be like them,” his pained voice pierced your chest; the movement of his body from the way the sobs were attacking him was almost uncontainable. “I don't want this distance.”

“Change is always hard, Jungkookie, but I promise you we'll be in touch always. I'll do my best to make it so.”

“Really?”

“Of course. I'll even come visit you as soon as I can.”

“No. I said I was going to pay for your trip.”

“See? You're not going to leave me.”

“Still I'm scared, noona. What if I'm not enough for them? What if I can't raise enough for you to come live with us?”

“You are enough, Jungkook. From the tips of your fingers to the tips of your hair, there's nothing about you that won't allow you to achieve your dreams, understand? You are destined to be a star. I know it's hard to leave behind everything you know in life, but believe me it will all be worth it. You will come out on top and you will succeed.”

“Noona…” Jungkook cried again, burying his face in your neck once more, clinging to you like the anchor that carried him to the surface of the ocean; the ocean shaped by his own tears. “I… don't… want… to… go…”

The hiccups that attacked him from his intense crying made it difficult for him to speak and you hadn't felt such pain even when the other boys left. There were tears shared, promises whispered and hugs that lasted longer than they should have, but no one had clung to your body as if they feared you were going to disappear at any moment and wanted to seize every second before the impending end.

“It's okay, Jungkookie,” you ran your hands up and down his back trying to calm his crying, trying to control your own as treacherous tears rolled down your cheeks with the darkness as your witness. “We'll meet again. You can wait for me. Then we can melt into another embrace and say how much we miss each other.”

Your phone vibrated on the bed, the notification startling you with its aggressiveness. Another vibration followed that one and then another. Turning on the screen, you found that half an hour had passed since you'd last seen the clock, and in passing you came across Yuna's name on the caller ID. You sighed, remembering the effusiveness with which she said goodbye in the afternoon and mentally preparing yourself for what was to come.

"Hey," you greeted, mildly surprised that her exclamations hadn't reached your ear first to interrupt your greeting.

"y/n, how were sales today?" her calm voice filled your hearing and a slight wrinkle implanted itself between your brows.

"Mmm, it was all good. We have several domiciliary and the prints are coming out with the deadlines arranged. With Seojun we considered that maybe taking on a publisher wouldn't be so bad, but I'm not sure yet."

You narrowed your eyes at the ceiling, shallowly biting your nails, waiting for the moment when Yuna would burst out, but it didn't come.

"Oh, yeah. We'll have to consider that. I'll go early tomorrow morning to seize the day." Yuna answered quietly, with the faint sound of things stirring in the background of the call. Surely she had just arrived at her apartment.

"Yuna?"

"Mhm?"

"How was the afternoon?"

"Oh, it was normal, really," she replied, her voice flat, as if the thought had barely crossed her mind since the moment she'd left the coffee shop. "I didn't see anyone memorable."

"Ah, so your knights in shining armor didn't attend?"

"Sadly, no." Yuna sighed, her unchanging attitude finding a little more sense in your head. She sounded more tired than anything.

You talked a bit more with Yuna before she excused herself to go about her evening routine and finally get some rest, specifically stressing to you how boring the whole afternoon had been and how every second she only thought about going home. You also told her a bit more about the ideas you and your father had half-heartedly spun as marketing strategies, but very earnestly your friend asked you not to do anything until she was there.

When her name disappeared from your caller ID, an Instagram notification popped up at the top of your home screen. The vibration felt like the pounding of a sledgehammer against wood, your sentence handed down with no chance of appeal, the blood in your veins freezing and an endless emptiness in the pit of your stomach.

jeonjungkook97 just followed you!

It was followed by the notification of a message from Yuna.

Unnie | 19:01 holy shit. jungkook just followed you on ig, right?

No fucking way. Another fucking account to block.

It wasn't like you couldn't deal with them. You had been doing it for about ten years. But now they just seemed to want to throw themselves in front of your face one by one and you weren't strong enough to handle that. Maybe your resolve needed to be more forceful; maybe you should be sure you hated them instead of feeling like your body was shaking and you could melt like jelly in the sun every time you felt they were one step closer to you. For a while, that was all you wanted; to find them; to be found. But now…?

The weekend was spent in a hodgepodge of managing your book sales and the seesaw of emotions you had in the face of the estranged but impactful actions of your old friends. You tried not to think about it too much; you really tried, but it was very difficult. It was easier to let the memories wash over you instead of diligently packing up the books on which you had squandered your blood and tears.

Your books, yes, that was the most important thing.

From the posts and hashtags, even though it had only been a couple of days, you could see that some people -those who had actually read the books- were already posting their opinions and reviews and you knew you had had plenty of time to prepare for that moment, but you really weren't ready to face it. You didn't know what it was; whether it was the pollen, the aligned planets, PMS, mercury retrograde… but all of those things were weighing you down too much recently and you weren't ready to hear the opinions.

And you couldn't help but keep asking yourself why? Having spent so much time, between so many experiences and so many personal changes, why now they decided that they would come back into your life? How dare they after ruining your life by completely abandoning you? Many times you wondered what was missing in you; what was never enough for them… sometimes you believed that this was how it was meant to be; just the seven of them, before you came along. It was always them seven first, then you.

Between lows and highs, between sadness and joy, you still had to keep working.

"Get rid of that face if you're not going to tell me what's wrong with you." Yuna crossed the cafeteria in front of you, picking up some glasses and plates on the table as lunchtime approached.

"I don't have any face."

"You've been in a somber mood since Saturday. You look dead."

You clicked your tongue, taking advantage of the fact that the store was nearly empty to do the math. "Don't be over the top."

"I'm just being honest and genuinely concerned about my friend, can you blame me?" Yuna reached the sink and simply left the dishes there to approach the cash register. Your eyes refused to meet hers, unsheathing a strange annoyance in the pit of your stomach.

"I'm fine," you moved the money automatically, doing the math in the back of your head as second nature, "don't worry so much."

"Ok, if you don't want to tell me about it at least try to distract yourself a little, why don't you take an extra half hour for lunch?"

"You know I can't do that."

"Sol would never know."

"I'm not going to do that."

Yuna pouted, dropping her chin onto the back of her hand. You knew she was about to fly you out of that chair the moment all the bills were safeguarded.

A whiplash of pain shot through your chest at the alternative of having to leave the cafeteria, alone, hovering with your thoughts once again, as you tried to shove the food down your throat. But Yuna happily dragged you out of the cafeteria, leaving you in the middle of the street with your little bag and lunch money, wishing you a happy break as she wandered off once more to deal with the sparse crowd of customers alone.

Maybe you should have told her you'd rather not eat than be alone, but…

That was the story of your life.

So you walked to that restaurant a couple of blocks away, where they sold the cheapest food in the area, and waited patiently while answering Yuna's messages to clear your mind.

Going through your social networks, you once again came across the cover of your books in the pre-viewing of a video and felt the bile in your throat. Let's see, you were happy. Or well, you were trying to convince yourself because you still had that bitter feeling in the pit of your stomach that wouldn't let you enjoy this blast like you should and it had a first and last name of its own. But, generally speaking, it was great that your books were selling, forgetting all the other circumstances that led to that happening.

So, standing in front of those videos, you were tormented by not being able to watch them. A self-published author should be prepared for that kind of thing. No, any author should be. Sharing your art with the world implicitly entailed confronting the world's expression in front of it. It was inevitable, of course, and it was also the energy that could start an engine or the fingers that put out the match. At that precise moment, you still didn't want to know what your destiny was.

You hated that. You hated feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders. Why was life so heavy if you had just begun to live it?

Ah, too much pondering for one lunch.

And to think this all started with an Instagram story.

Having an existential crisis because you couldn't stand dealing with the stress and pressure of the extreme demand you were having and because of mixed feelings for a bunch of idiots resurfacing after so many years was one of the last things you thought you'd have to go through that year. Fuck, or ever in your entire life.

Taehyung might have done you a favor as well as a disservice.

But that's how you spent a while longer, as you walked back to the coffee shop, the noise of the city not being enough to quell the bustle of thoughts crashing against each other in your head.

Being in the eye of the hurricane, however, didn't mean you were safe. You barely had a breath of fresh air before the eyewall hit you hard once again.

"Noona…?"

You froze a few steps away from the cafeteria. You feared not only the way you immediately recognized the voice, but the way your body froze, fear, panic and uncertainty clouding your sense.

You were in the alley behind the coffee shop. You didn't usually go in that way, but you had taken a slightly longer way back, only because you were too busy thinking about whether or not your body was up to a longer walk.

You were so close to the door that you could almost hear Yuna's voice on the other side, barely muffled by the beeping that echoed in your ears as panic took over your body.

You didn't want to turn around. Your body was having every possible negative reaction, as if it was fighting an infection, the lunch you had just shoved down your throat seeking to make its way back into your mouth and the feeling of dizziness momentarily clouded you.

Was this how you planned to react if you ever saw them again? Was this how you acted out the scenarios you imagined in your head at night when your memories went back to the last time you saw them?

The only difference between those imaginings and what was happening at that moment was that before you could prepare yourself; you knew what was coming; you had control. Now? Your legs were about to give out, the weight of your body too much to bear.

And you wanted to mock the pathetic behavior you were engaging in. You should turn around, slap him and scream at him that you never wanted to see him again. But your heart was beating and feeling and… how could you deny it anything after so many years of being neglected?

But maybe you were imagining it. The little sleep you had this weekend and all the memories you dragged from the trunk since you saw that Instagram notification must have made you crazy enough that you heard voices, his voice, anywhere… you were still near a busy street, it could be anyone-

"y/n."

And, yet…

You didn't turn around knowing what it would entail to give his voice a face, even though you could madly and frankly recall every line of its length, and you spoke harshly through your teeth even though your labored breathing made your chest heave.

"What are you doing here?"

"Noona… you're really here."

You cringed as you heard his footsteps and clutched with inhuman speed at the lock on the door in front of you.

"I asked you a fucking question: what the fuck do you think you're doing here?"

The silence didn't give you an answer, but you could glimpse it. With your patience on edge and years of emotional repression it was impossible for you to deduce how you would react in such a case, but it didn't seem too far-fetched, even if Jungkook's surprised inspiration said he didn't expect you to be so harsh and rude.

As if you cared.

—Yes you did care, in fact, that's why your heart was beating wildly against your ribs, the choking sensation increasing, the nerves on edge and the tears all over the corners of your eyes, but you had to stand your ground. After so, so long… why, why, why, why?—

"I… I…" Jungkook seemed to be having trouble finding his voice, even though in his profession the words came melodiously and easily out of his mouth. If you turned to look at him, you might have noticed that his face went from happiness to anguish with the speed a bullet goes through a field, "I wanted to see you…"

He sounded so small. The five-foot-ten-plus man, who you're sure was almost a head and a half taller than you, might as well have been a badly wounded puppy behind you. You knew from the way he spoke that he was holding back tears, but you didn't let that sway you. He didn't deserve it.

"Who gave you the right to come here?"

You didn't let him answer, not knowing if he was even going to, tightening the lock on the door you were about to walk through at any moment, bile in your throat making you fear the fall as if you were at the top of a skyscraper.

"How the fuck did you even find me?"

"Well, I-"

"I don't fucking want to know!"

You cut him off, the dryness and venom in your voice making you tremble. You were so sad, so distraught and so angry at the same time.

"And I don't want to see you. So leave."

"Noona…"

"Fucking leave, Jeon, for fuck's sake!"

You moved, almost as if by inertia, opening the door and slamming it behind you, the noise so deafening that it echoed in your ears for several seconds until you heard Yuna's footsteps approaching you and felt her arms wrap around your body.

You didn't know what she was saying, you just leaned against the door and let yourself fall, your body shaking in cry after uncontrollable cry, truly wondering how everything had gone so far; wondering how, after so many years, you still allowed them to have that power over you; a power they didn't deserve and shouldn't have.

You felt shattered in that moment, every piece of you scattered in the hold, every moment of your life replaying on its glassy, sharp edges. Even with half of you staying afloat, Yuna held you until the tears stopped flowing and with renewed resolve you promised yourself that this was never going to happen again.

Jungkook had taken you by surprise, but from now on none of them would ever catch you off guard.

a/n: i dont really know what to think about this chap. sometimes i like it sometimes i dont. i guess thats just how it works. pls letme know what you think! thank u for all the support! <3

tag: @rinkud @futuristicenemychaos @pastelpeachess @parapiop7 @kokoandkookie @midiplier @thunderg @lizzymizzy-blogg @ladymorrie @butnotmontana @lovelgirl22 @jjeonjjk7 @aurorathi @ot7stansthings @kunacat @borahaetelevision @mylovingstars @ghostlyworld @talyaaas-blog @slowlyshycomputer @jjk174 @maynina @saintomie @damn-u-min-yoongi @juju-227592 @yoongznme @queenbloody @leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesworld @zippaur @v4ksk4tz @kookierry @idk179634 @canarystwin @elliott-calls @devilzliaison

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sims3fiend · 3 months ago

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Some dumb sims 3 updates/stuf

Or, how to develop severe brain damage in 10 easy steps.

Sooo… This is going to be more of a blog post than anything of any real substance, more of a whinge with maybe a few teasers for some stuff I may or may not release (probably not). Feel free to skip if you're after hot tips or coherent writing.

Stutter "fixer"

Sooooo…. The sims 3 has some stutter issueeesss… Incredible discovery, I know! I started looking at remedying them with settings, found some hidden settings that help reduce some of the issues but that can only do so much when the game was made in 2009 for 2009 computers.

So I had a looky at some things I thought could be causing it, mainly WinAPI functions because that's the easier route (h-haha…), and started to try to "optimize" some of the more common ones:

ReadFile: Was the first, and looking at the sheer volume of like 12783972198 calls a milisecond every time you move the camera, I thought surely I can speed it up a little r-right. Not really. I tried all sorts of… interesting things, file caching in memory, implementing the overlapped flag (took ages), etc. Oh and the performance increase? Literally nothing. It's called weirdly from wherever it's called and so we must suffer.

Threads: So, I had a look at other areas that were potential targets for speedup, ran an actual profile and it showed a problem areas namely threads and some other stuff I don't remember. ZwWaitForMultipleObjects and WaitForSingleObject take up a lot of time, so I very poorly attempted to optimize them, adding some timeout optimizations (and a bunch of other failed attempts). Despite being the most insane, this actually worked, and I got like a 40% speed increase in a very very niche metric that did not noticeably effect the game one single bit. I plan to combine all my failures into a single script eventually, maybe once combined they'll do something…

Actual insanity - Memory IPC: Then I had an idea, everyone hates e12, why don't we shove the games memory into another process and that'll fix it. No brain moment. No clue what past me was thinking, for some reason I thought you could like, access another processes memory if it was spawned from it, but uhh.. no, that's not how things work… I tried a few other things in a similar vein but it just crashed and crashed, so for now I'm just gunna work on:

Alloc/free mee - Current insanity: Currently, I'm still working on VirtualAlloc and VirtualFree (which is what I was redirecting to another process), but more from an optimizing memory usage standpoint than a… whatever the IPC thing was. There's a lot of things to try, and I've had some luck in some areas and some abysmal failures in others. There's a few promising functions calling VirtualAlloc/Free that seem to be potentially pointing towards memory leaks (004e54d0), but I'm too dumb to investigate that. At the moment, I'm going mostly just gathering more logs which takes forever and hurts my brain real bad.. On testing there's like 180 allocs that we could probably yeet no problem, which is like 750mb saved… Maybe idk.

I have plenty of ideas for deduplication, memory pool implementations to reduce churn/fragmentation, shoving things aggressively into pagefiles if they're not being used, etc. etc. Basically, there's a lot of avenues to explore, and I feel like there's potential… though I've definitely said that before and been dead wrong so…

Anyway, rambling over. I plan to release a dumb little renderer settings mod maybe-soon-ish that'll let you do dumb stuff that might be useful for reshade like turn shadows/drop shadows off and post processing off and on. I guess I could add max lots and other settings eventually too since they're static values.... Might also do a mythbusting post for some performance "tweak" stuff I see thrown around that isn't super accurate but I also don't want people to be angry at me so maybe not.

Sorry to whoever read all this, but also thanks :)

#sims 3 #sims 3 mods #ts3 #sims3 #rant #idk idk

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thesovereignsring-if · 4 months ago

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Major Update: To move forward is to take a step back.

Hello everyone, it's been a while. I hope you're all doing well. I'd ask that you read this to the end because some major changes will be in the upcoming update.

TLDR: You will need to start a new save file for new update (this weekend) otherwise there will be very noticable issues down the line.

I can't recall the last time I made a post or an update like this and frankly i'm scared to check . I've been struggling with writers block with the end of Chapter 1 and my small bouts of depression did not help one bit, so I had to take a step back and re-examine the narrative. If you ask me what the problem was, i'd say that perhaps I rushed too quickly into the main story, when I needed a little more foundation to stand on. After a few months of deliberation, a solution has been found. And I think everyone will like it. There will be no major rewrite of any sort, I think I would cry if that were the case.

Instead we going going to have a second prologue. This means that Chapter 1 will be inaccessible until the second prologue is complete. I'm very sorry that things have to be this way, but I do no see any other option for the story to continue forward in a satisfying way.

The second prologue will take place a few months after the first prologue during the Grand Festival of Eostre. This will be the first year you'll celebrate without your mother, at the very least you will have your friends and family with you at the time.

What to expect in the first half of Prologue 2:

Up to 13k words of new content.

Spend some time with your family.

Looooreeee & tea.

Meet Lior the Grand Cardinal of the Church of Eostre. The leading religion in Nibelheim.

Choose how to spend your free time at the festival in 2/4 possible routes. Route A: Alberich & Finny, Route B: Sieghardt & Thea.

(The last two routes will be added in the next update: Route C: Lynnette, Erik & Daria/Darius, and Route D: The Empress, King Lugh & Duchess Neaera)

Erik has a younger bastard half-sibling named Daria(f)/Darius(m). ( I will address them as Dara for short.) The final romantic interest, gender selectable. Even if you do not choose Route C, you will meet them later on in the second half of the update.

Fixes + Updates:

Character Creation has been updated and streamlined. (Gender/Pronouns and Sex are separate categories for both adult and child character creations. Attributes chosen during Child Character Creation will be stored as different variables in the event I choose to do anymore flashbacks later on in the story.)

Please note, that choosing after your sex (as an adult) I will assume your character will have the corresponding equipment down there.

Music Credits have been updated.

Minor adjustments to the colour of the UI, if people have any sort of colour theme they wish to see, I'll be more than happy to add them.

That is all for now. I hope the year has been kind to everyone so far. I haven't gone through my inbox yet, but I've seen glimpse of people's support it goes a long way. I sincerely do no think I'd come back if it weren't for the fact that I'd feel like I'd let everyone down. I will be making a patreon post after the first update goes live to talk about the new update and exclusives later.

Thank you for reading and enjoying TSR over the past year. It's means a lot to me and let's hope things will be better moving forward.

See you <3

Lili

#tsr #the sovereign’s ring #update announcement #announcement #twine #twine if #twine wip #twine interactive fiction

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thesirencove · 3 months ago

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ᨒ ོ ☼ YOU'VE BECOME MY CEILING -- SAM WINCHESTER X FEM!READER

another angst fic !! i love writing angst so this is nothing new from me ofc :) once again , this is a fic i posted on a previous blog , which i since removed from said blog as i decided to focus on another topic . so i'm here to once again share my works :) i've also since edited this fic a bit , as i wrote it a bit ago !! let me know your thoughts on this one and enjoy <3

my requests are open and let me know if anyone would like a part two to this !

tissues are once again needed and there is no use of y/n in this fic

sam winchester x fem!reader (romantic)

summary: when sam pulls away, and reader just can't keep going. loosely based on the song "the gold" , specifically phoebe bridgers version

warnings: break ups (sorta ?) , minor descriptions + mentions of suffocation (if you blink you'll probably miss it) , abandonment , loss of love (to some degree) , unrequited love but not really (???) , sad sam (again </3)

word count: 1.8k

love was difficult. it was consuming. beautiful. costly. the best feeling in the world, and the worst one. it was all of these things at the same time.

sometimes it was the most freeing thing in the world. other times it was suffocating. it could be a good suffocating, at times. the love so overwhelming that she burst with joy at the feeling. a love she held so closely that she couldn’t find ways to express it any further even as she drowned in the feeling.

other times it made her want to cry everything out. it made her want to collapse on the floor, heart and lungs heavy. it made her dread the silence during fights, or the sleepless nights waiting for a phone call back. it made her dread the days spent waiting for him to come home. the tears welling up in her eyes when she could only imagine the worst as minutes became hours, which would become days and eventually weeks. it was dreadful.

but the good parts made up for it. the nights spent curled up in each others’ arms. hearing each others’ shallow breaths as they slept. the warmth of being near one another. the way the light shone in a different way, because things were good. things were calm. he was home and so was she. the smiles rarely ever left either of their faces. being in close proximity was all they needed. they’d talk, but the silence was just as peaceful. it wasn’t deafening or painful. it didn’t make her heart wrench. both of them were safe and in love and happy.

that’s not the way it was now. right now the silence was heavy. so was her heart. her lungs felt like they were constricting. like there wasn’t enough air left for her to breathe. it felt like their love was dying out. like the flame they’d so carefully spent time fostering was dying out, providing barely any light. she didn’t want it to. she was grabbing at it, pulling it back towards her, like a child trying to save their most prized possesion that’s about to be thrown out. she tried to save it. so, so hard. she would spend nights awake, thinking how to fix things. how to make it better, for both of them. how to make sure they were both safe and in love and happy again.

but he wasn’t making that effort. he had shut down. she didn’t know what it was. he came home one day after weeks of no contact on a long hunt, and since then it’s been like this. she had to tiptoe around him on eggshells. the feeling of acid burning her throat never left. she tried to get him to talk. to say something. to open up to her, so she could help him. but he had snapped. she wouldn’t give up, though. she tried, again and again. it always ended the same, with sam angry and her silent tears soaking the pillow. after months of trying she decided it wasn’t worth pushing any further.

he would open up in time, right? he just needed to find the initiative to come to her himself, to not be forced into opening up, right? things would get fixed in time and it would be all okay again. but it didn’t happen. the time didn’t come. and yet again, hours would become days, which would be come weeks and slowly those weeks would become months. except this time he wasn’t away. he was home. he was with her. and yet the distance between them was further than ever before.

i love you, she thought.

i love you with all my heart and soul. i love you unconditionally. i love you even through the heaviness in my heart and the tears that stain my cheeks every day.

but it’s just not enough, she realized. her one-sided love wasn’t enough. she couldn’t be the only person with love in this relationship. it was slowly breaking her, tearing her apart. she was a shell of herself now, just as sam has been these past few months.

so she packed a bag. just one. only what she needed. not everything. she left the rest. she would be coming back. she knew she would. a love like this doesn’t just end. there’s bumps in the road. there always are. but this bump needed a little extra time and care. and that had to come in the form of being away. she needed to be able to breathe. perhaps he, too, needed space.

distance makes the heart grow fonder, no?

and with that one bag in hand, she left the room she shared with him. with her sam. the love of her life. the man who now sat at the kitchen table, absolutely unrecognizable. she watched him from afar. sitting there, motionless. a bottle of beer stood in front of him.

she placed her bag down where she was, positioning it so he wouldn’t see. and she entered the kitchen.

one last time, she thought to herself. she wouldn’t be saying goodbye. that’s not what this was. she was going to be back. but she couldn’t leave without seeing him one more time. giving him one last kiss before she was gone.

“sam,” she croaked out. her voice was barely louder than a whisper. he didn’t respond.

“sam,” she said once again, louder this time. it caught his attention. he looked up at her.

“i love you,” she said to him. her eyes were glossy. she was breathing as evenly as she could, her lungs constricting as her heart beat so fast that she practically felt it in her throat. she didn’t want him to see her cry, even though he had so many times in the past.

“mhm,” was his only response. he looked away from her soon after, his motions so slow they were almost robotic. it was as though he were on autopilot, picking up his beer and taking a swig of it. she took that as her sign. her final push. to do this. to take some time away from him, let him figure things out. he wasn’t going to do that with her around. these past few months have proven that. even through every time she tried to help him, to figure out why he’d shut down, he would just push her further away. she bent down and placed a kiss to his forehead.

i’m sorry, she thought to herself.

and so she took one last look at him. she turned towards the door. and she walked out. moving her legs was a chore. it was difficult and every bone in her body screamed at her to turn back around. to get down on the floor, to her knees, and beg him to talk to her, to tell her what was wrong. but it wouldn’t work. she knew that, because she already tried it.

so against every instinct in her body, against every thought in her head but one, she grabbed the bag she had hidden behind the wall outside the kitchen, and left.

sam heard the door close. he didn’t think much of it. a day later, when the house was quieter than he was used to, he glazed over the thought that she wasn’t back yet. but that one day had yet again become days, which had eventually become a week. something changed in him. he called her. he rung her phone non-stop. he left message after message. he had sat in that same spot in the kitchen, phone in hand, waiting for her to pick the phone back up. but she hadn’t.

he had finally woken up from his daze. he finally realized that he had lost her. it took her leaving for him to realize that things weren’t okay. that he wasn’t okay. none of it was.

he wished he had told her, that he opened up to her about what happened on that hunt. about how he tried to save a child, and couldn’t. how he saw himself in this young boy, so frightened and yet trying to show strength. a child that he then saw buried by his family a week later. the monsters in town were gone thanks to him, but a child had died. and he couldn’t forgive himself for that, he couldn’t bring himself to function properly. this child, so closely mirroring his younger self was gone because of him. and so he shut down.

she tried to help him, to get him to open up, but goddamnit he just wouldn’t listen. and now he’d lost her, too. she was gone, not answering the phone. he wasn’t sure if she’d ever come back, though he wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t.

and one lonely night in november, sam was laying in her room. he’d been curled up in a ball on her bed, her scent having nearly faded completely, when he saw the leather poking out from inside her closet. and he got up. pulled out what it was that caught his eye.

her journal. the one thing she refused to go anywhere without, she had left behind. so he opened it. and he read, and read, and read. he couldn’t stop reading. and he hated himself more and more with each entry. he knew he shouldn’t have read it, but he couldn’t help himself. he wasn’t sure if she’d ever come back, and this was the closest thing to her that he now had.

he watched their love crumple in front of his eyes, the memories burnt into the pages. but their love wasn’t enough for it to stay.

it’s my fault, he’d repeat in his head. over and over and over again. non-stop, like a mantra. and when he got to the last page, he had felt his heart shatter. he had become physically ill at what he read.

it’s like he’s become my ceiling, the page read.

a blank wall i stare at, unmoving and not in love with me, no matter how much i may love him, it finished.

and just like that, sam winchester had broken himself more than he had already been broken. but he would wait. he’d wait for her to return. he’d look for her. he’d hope that she’d come back. and in the meantime he’d work on himself. fix himself. he’d pull himself out of the rut he was in, so that when she came back, he could give her all the love in the world again. so she could look at him with all the light in the world once more.

he would become her the sun again and brighten her world. he realized that he needs to open up to her, that he can rely on her. he doesn’t have to be scared of her love anymore. she wouldn’t run away if he told her what happened. she’d only love him unconditionally. and oh, how sam wished she were still here.

#sam winchester #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester x fem!reader #sam winchester imagine #sam winchester x y/n #sam winchester x you #sam winchester fanfic #supernatural #spn #supernatural fanfic #spn fanfic #angst #so much angst #romantic relationships #₊⁺☀︎₊⁺⋆.˚ aqua's fanfics

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reikunrei · 7 months ago

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feeling incredibly averse to posting this but i'm just gonna drop my kofi link here in case anyone wants to help me get out of my increasingly shitty situation living with my parents

more info below ig

after having given my parents nearly $100k over the last four years, i'd love to be able to actually leave. my future job situation is still up in the air (i've submitted for about a dozen positions and the only one i've heard back from and interviewed for hasn't gotten back to me yet), and i haven't been able to build up any savings because, again, i was (and still am) helping my family afford rent and bills, and probably the taxes my parents are behind on, but if i think about that, i'll get too angry. no joke, i've given my family, at the bare minimum, 85% of my income over the last 4 years. the rest of it has gone toward medical stuff and, now, my car

at this point, with the combo of my mom refusing to lower her standards and my dad's seeming refusal to hunt for a new full time job, i don't see how they won't continue to bleed me dry. my dad even has a bad habit of taking money out of my old savings account that he's a joint owner on or whatever from when i got it set up when i was 16, even when i stopped actively putting money in it, so now any time it gets its automated $1 transfer from my checking account, he'll just take that $1 without consulting me. i'm not exaggerating, even if it has $1-2 in it, it'll be gone within a week

i've even put off starting on testosterone because of this. i wanted to start it like 3 years ago, but kept putting it off because of money issues and wanting to save as much as possible. i got really close to actually starting it this year, but because of how messy everything is, i put it off again bc having one more thing on my plate, especially when my parents are already weird about me being trans, was not something i wanted to deal with

not to mention, we're still currently not living under a lease in our house that we're, as far as i'm aware, still tens of thousands of dollars behind in rent on (again, my dad refuses to disclose our financial position honestly with any of us) and it's developed many, many issues bc the landlord, even before we were behind on rent, is shit and refuses to actually fix anything. and my dad loves to just ignore things unless we beg him to do something

i'd love to be on my own (in the, much more affordable, midwest) by the end of summer. i by no means want to rely on donations and i have other avenues i'm working with to make money (i still have my current full time job, but i'm going through my old belongings and selling a lot online), but i'll take any help i can get atp because i'm truly at my wits end. i'd start doing art commissions again if i could, but doing that from 2020-2022, partially on top of my full time job, absolutely wrecked my right hand and i'm still in enough pain that i can't make it a regular activity

idk how much else there is to say. there's more i could say but... i don't really wanna air all my dirty laundry here. i'm miserable in so many ways and it's just become increasingly clear that my dad expects me to constantly cover his ass. my younger brother gives money too, but he manages to go on big cross-country and overseas trips with friends, so i think i've been stuck with the burden of giving the most money. there's so many more things going on in the world rn and everyone is stretched thin so i don't expect much, or anything, but. idk. might as well throw it out there, right?

i’ve also since taken down the gfm i set up last year when we got our first eviction notice bc, while we still need the money, i don’t feel right keeping it up for multiple reasons, including “i don’t want to give any of that money to my family” and it feels too… serious to keep it up when i could just throw out my kofi instead

i just want to make sure i have some sort of safety net to catch me if i move before anything job-wise is finalized. i need to be able to afford a place to live for at least a month so i can job-search while physically being in the area i wanna move to, which would ultimately make it easier for me to find a job at all. i'm working on being more firm with giving less money so i can actually have the means to move and be safe and comfortable, but... that never lasts long in this house

anyway. that's it, i guess. thanks for reading

#i say things #crowdfunding

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wings-of-ink · 5 months ago

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Hear ye, hear ye!

All of you who have been anxiously awaiting Chapter 4 can send a big thank you to the Microsoft mayhem that happened on Friday. Because of it, I have had two entire, unprecedented, days off of work during which all I did was write and edit chapter 4! Stuff like this never happens to me either, so I ate it up. My work computer is still super broken too, so who knows what will happen tomorrow, lol.

So, chapter 4, barring anything disastrous that I do not yet foresee – is coming very soon. Like, any day this week soon. For now, I am looking for bugs and other errors until I feel comfortable getting the update loaded. I will also be updating the warning list and some things on the itch page. I keep feeling like I'm forgetting something I wanted to do, and am having a hell of a time remembering what it was…

Anyway, if it interests you, more details below!

In going through some of the Google Error Reports, I had a couple that I either could not resolve or find.

It was reported that checking player stats in chapter 1 would not work – that it would flash only for a moment. I could not recreate this. If anyone else has seen this, please let me know.

In the end of chapter 2 where there are multiple ways to spend your time there seems to be some issues with how choices become unselectable after certain clicks and it just doesn't seem to function correctly. I have fixed the issues I have found, but could not recreate all of the instances that were reported. This section may get an overhaul in the future since I understand the coding a bit more now.

It was also reported that fonts are not changing. There is definitely a weird issue with this and it will take some time for me to sit down and hammer out. The fonts do change for me, but notably, I don't think they are switching to the correct font types. They don't even appear to be the same fonts from when I first starting this project, lol. This issue is on hold for now.

The last 2 bonus segments for the end of chapter 3 are being pushed aside for the time being. I kept finding myself feeling like I was hammering them into the chapter and it was a little exhausting. If I force it, it will be less enjoyable to read. The segments that are missing are the ones for hanging out with Zahn and Nathanael. Zahn's is easy to wiggle in elsewhere at least, but I'm not sure if Nathan's will make it in or not. We'll see, my motivation was purely for chapter 4, so now that it is ready to go, I'll have another crack at it before I drop or move them completely. They aren't super important to the story, but are just for fun (and if Oswin got his, it's only fair that Zahn gets theirs too). That last section of chapter 3 ended up way too long, so it may get adjusted later anyway.

As with any work in progress, I can't guarantee that your old saves will work. That's probably how we are going to have to roll for a bit until I really get things nice and smooth. Eventually, I will add an option to start from a later chapter and go through and make the (MANY) relevant choices to skip ahead. This may be implemented when Chapter 6 is ready to go since all the ROs will be available.

I also want to figure out how to implement named saves to make it easier for you to sort. I appreciate IFs that feature this, but I do not yet know how to do it, but I'm going to research. I like to play through with several MCs, and I'd like to offer enough info in the saves and/or Stats Menu that you can do this and easily know who you are playing as. Let me know what you would like most in the Player Stats Menu too. Note, that some options do not appear here until you choose them in the story.

Coming up…

Since Chapter 4 is down, I will soon be posting a big poll about future IFs. I've been compiling info for it here and there for a couple weeks on possible options for me to write in conjunction with God-Cursed. So, stay tuned for that in the coming days.

I will FINALLY get to my inbox in earnest as well! I will keep reaction asks paused until further notice since they take me the longest to answer. Feel free to still send in comments or quicker questions. If your question is too spoilery to answer, I will not be able to post about it.

Anyway, hope you are all doing well! I can't wait to see what you think of chapter 4. I hope you enjoy it. I'll get it out just as soon as I feel comfortable enough with it. ^_^

#god cursed if #asks #twine if #if wip #twine wip #interactive novel #interactive fiction #demo update

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brainrot-goes-brrrrrr · 8 months ago

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Savannah Squad Presentation Night Headcanons/Drabble [2/3]

it has been forever :'D (everyone say thank you to @moonbiine)

ANYWAYS, here's part 2 :}

Part 1: Taylor & Logan Part 2: Ben & Tyler Part 3: Aiden & Ashlyn [WIP]

Logan's POV

Two hours and twenty-eight minutes. It has been two hours and twenty-eight minutes and we've been stuck at 76% complete for forty minutes. Whoever made Windows deserves to burn and I stand by that, cause what do you mean that they can push an update and force restart my laptop.

"Logan when was the last time you updated this?" "Logan, why are there fifteen updates that need to be downloaded?" "Bro, when was the last time you actually shut down your laptop?" ... "I've been busy, okay--"

So it might be my fault. Partially. I will admit that much, but the laptop's never given me a problem before and it was running fine. It's just old, and has a few odd... kinks? I mean, the left half of the mousepad is jammed to the point where it can't click, and, sure, the screen does go black every now and again, but just hit it a few times it works! It's character, charm even (and I can't be bothered to fix it...)!

It was, honest to God, easier for Aiden to run back to his place and grab his laptop.

"So we agree that Logan is off electronic duty right?" Taylor had asked as Ben was setting up the other computer to the television screen with Aiden helping. It was a unanimous decision. Ben and Aiden are the new tech guys.

"Yeah, that's probably for the better," I had conceded.

Ben Clarke

Ben goes next because he saved the groups sanity by suggesting that Aiden just gets his laptop. Everyone, thank Ben for the night not failing.

To address the obvious, Ben has a text to speech app on his phone, which is connected to a speaker, that he uses to present. I will say that there is a sort of humor in this for two reasons. One, the voice can either be monotoned like a typical text-to-speech program with funny pronunciation errors, or two, it will sound like one of those videos on tiktok where an AI is reading a tumblr post about SuperBats or something and gets progressively more expressive as time goes on. Personally, I want to hear exasperated robot Ben voice explaining to Aiden why "Life is a Highway" on repeat can and will be considered a torture method.

Ben's music taste is GODLY. And he's more of a eclectic listener too so he has experience with a good amount of genres. This man does not bash other genres of music that he doesn't care for, he thinks its rude to the person he's talking to and to the artist.

Aiden is the exception to this rule^^

DESPISES having to subscribe to music platforms. What do you mean that you can't listen to a song on repeat without paying, what do you mean that you will interrupt his carefully crafted playlist with a recommended song that does not fit the vibe. This end up derailing his presentation couple times.

He has a set criteria that he judges on: length, vibes, transitions, and replayability. Good playlists should at minimum be an hour, have similar vibes/sound while still being unique, the transitions between songs shouldn't be jarring, and the playlist shouldn't be painful to listen to after a month.

Taylor and Ashlyn helped him judge everyone's playlists by acting as secondary perspectives. Taylor is more open to everyone's music tastes while Ashlyn scrutinizes them more. They pretty much just took a playlist that everyone listens to regularly, one that they made but listen to it every so often, and their liked songs.

I would also like everyone to remember that the series is set in 2016... they would have songs mostly from the 2000s-2010s with the exceptions of some 90s and 80s songs. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, I'm just saying that I looked up 2010s hit songs and I'm filled with nostalgia.

Overall, Ben's criticisms and recommendations are genuinely thoughtful. Especially the recommendations. For each person, after critiquing their playlists, Ben made a slide of genres and artists that each person should check out to expand their tastes.

(I'll probably make a bit about what songs were on their playlist, idk tho)

Group Reaction (how they ranked in comparison to each other)

Personally, Tyler and Logan getting the best ratings because their playlists are very consistent in their vibes and are replayable. I also think that Ben's music taste fits the most with these two for some reason, so they got the most song recs out of everyone.

Ashlyn is third in the ranking. She has one or two that she listens to occasionally, and they're pretty short. They are absolute polar opposites though. One of the playlists is rock, since she canonically likes Paramore (if you don't, get well soon), and the other is classical music for her ballet performances.

Taylor is next. Her playlist isn't bad, its just... a bit everywhere. Like it starts pretty good, but you can tell that somewhere along the lines of creating this playlist she just added songs that she remembered that she likes. It mostly fits the same genre. Ben makes her a more organized playlist after the presentation.

Aiden is dead last. It's not because his music taste is shit. Aiden actually has a pretty good music taste. No. Its because he only listens to his liked songs on repeat like a monster. It is musical whiplash. You go from a movie theme song, to crying, to listening to white girl club music, to rock, to crying again, and then for some reason the Home Depot jingle???? The only playlists that he makes are for jokes really. Do you know the John Mulaney bit where he plays "What's New Pussycat?" 27 times. Yeah, that's Aiden.

Tyler Hernandez

Tyler's next, and, I'm letting you know now that he sprayed the fuck out of Aiden for interrupting. Yeah, Ash pulled them a part.

Motherfucker is so pleased with himself, like its honestly so funny. Aiden had him by the collar and Tyler was just fucking smiling. Taylor does throw her slipper at him for being rude, but he could honestly care less.

The slideshow itself is the most soulless thing ever made, man used the Blank Google Slides template and called it a day. Like one stock image on each slide, and its so pixelated. He probably did it like an hour ago. That's why his presentation is funny because he's just jabbing at Aiden over and over with a basic slideshow that you'd see someone pull out in a Spanish 1-2 class.

You know what? He probably had another presentation about what piercing he think would suit the group best, and just did this one out of spite cause Aiden was being loud. I take back my previous statement about him doing it an hour before getting to Logan's place, he did this on his PHONE WHEN THE LAPTOP WAS UPDATING!!!! Like Logan was taking a walk, Ben was trying to fix the computer, the girls went to make sandwiches, Aiden was running errands, and Tyler made this in an hour.

His presentation is based off a tier system where it gets more effective with each method. Methods 1-3 are pretty basic where its just stuff like duct taping his mouth shut, 4 and onwards just gets funny

I'll be completely honest, each way he put is wild, and it gets progressively more deranged as the presentation goes on. These one's my favorite

"Number 9: Dying You know, I thought this would be the best way, but the bastard got crushed by a ceiling and walked it off. I want you to try and convince me that Aiden wouldn't crawl out of hell just to ruin my day. " "Number 10: Put him in a room alone with Ashlyn's mom and dad *insert a picture of Aiden sitting not so comfortably in between Ashlyn's parents* I don't even think I need to say anything else, I mean, I will, but like... look at him"

This is honestly the shortest presentation of the night but so far it's the most chaotic (he will quickly lose this title).

Tyler went through two spray bottles, mainly for Aiden, but he did spray Taylor once or twice. She threw a shoe at him. It's only fair.

Groups Reaction

Aiden is standing to the side with a towel around himself because Logan said his grandparents would kill them for ruining their couch. He's not exactly pissed but he is kind of sulking. Honestly this just makes his presentation so much better for him.

You know how Tyler asked for suggestions in the beginning, Ben and Ashlyn give him genuine ideas. Mainly Ben, just out of good humor you know. And Tyler's taking notes.

Taylor is giggling, but she does feel a bit bad for Aiden. At some point she gives him a consolation sandwich to raise his spirits.

Logan, however, doesn't and he's just quietly enjoying the scene that's unfolding around him.

The end of these two presentations are by far more chaotic than the first two, and it feels like its only going to get worse from here(/pos). Because right now Aiden is fighting with Tyler, getting him soaked too, Taylor is filming them while Logan provides commentary, and Ashlyn is standing with Ben setting up the next powerpoint.

While it was initially decided that Aiden would go last, Ashlyn suggested that she and him switch. Mainly so that he can drip dry while presenting, and sit down when he's done.

Aiden is following a presentation that was just jabbing at him, how do you think his is going to end up now?

#school bus graveyard #school bus graveyard webtoon #sbg #sbg (webtoon)#ben clarke #tyler hernandez #savannah squad #sbg powerpoint night #I might add more to tyler's later #not edited rn #we die like men

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ladykailitha · 10 months ago

Text

Well Met By Moonlight Part 10

Hello! If you haven't seen it yet, I've got a set schedule for what story posts on what days now (as seen here) and this one as well as Icarus, Batshit Soulmates, and Never Hold Back Your Step... will still be posting just on rotation until I can finish some of my WIPs. (I may be stretching myself a bit thin having six going at the same time.)

In this chapter Steve gets a migraine dealing with his pack, Eddie and Wayne try to get a little deeper into the mystery of the town, and Robin has a big decision to make.

@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @redfreckledwolf @emly03 @itsall-taken

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

****

While things were getting better outside the pack, things weren’t going as well inside the pack.

Someone was riling up the older pack members to fight Steve on every decision.

“Joyce,” Steve growled warningly. “I won’t tell you again. I’m not taking Nancy as bondmate. Nor do you want me to. Not unless your son has broken up with her recently. So recently I don’t know about it.”

Joyce rolled her eyes. “Of course not. But in the history of this pack, the alpha female has always been bonded to to the alpha male. It’s tradition.”

“Which pack are we talking about?” Steve snarled. “The one where Hopper was alpha and didn’t notice two families being abused by their father because he was drunk off his ass all the time? Or are we talking about the one that threatened to rape and kill my mother for accidentally walking into compound as a mortal woman and was only saved by Wayne Munson passing by? Or the one where Clarence Harrington founded the pack back in the 1800s?”

Joyce took a step back in the face of his rage.

“Maybe it’s time to see traditions aren’t working out for the pack and to move forward,” Steve said baring his teeth.

She looked him square in the eye, daring him to make a move.

“Submit,” he snarled, using his alpha voice. “Or be banished for this lack of respect you have shown me since I became alpha.”

There had been pack members milling around when they started arguing and more had gathered.

They all gasped when Steve threatened banishment.

“Do. You. Submit?”

She gulped and lowered her head for the first time in his presence. She kept her eyes on the ground and murmured, “Yes, alpha.”

He turned to the gathered pack. “Anyone who doesn’t respect my authority as alpha is free to go, no judgment. But I will not stand for willful and flagrant disobedience just because the person is older than me. Do I make myself clear?”

The assembled all nodded, making noises of affirmation.

“Good,” he said and then waved his arm. “Now scram!”

They all fled including Joyce.

Jonathan came up to him after everyone else had gone.

“You going to question my authority, too?” Steve snapped, a migraine starting pulse behind his eyes.

The other boy shook his head. “Nah, man. I know you’re cool. It’s just hard on my mom because Hopper would still be alpha if he hadn’t been kidnapped and she doesn’t know what to do with you being alpha so young.”

Steve sighed, rubbing his face with his hands. “Yeah, it’s not normal, but we have to change if we are to survive. The world is moving fast. Faster than anything this pack has ever dealt with and if we don’t move with it, it will kill us.”

Jonathan nodded. “I’ll talk to her. See if I can’t get her to be at least not as antagonistic toward you. Because since you’ve become alpha things are really starting to change around here, for the better, too. She just needs to acknowledge that.”

Steve clapped Jonathan on the shoulder. “Thanks, man. Because you can get her to calm down...”

“Then Hop will do the same...” Jonathan continued.

“And hopefully Murray will follow after,” Steve finished. “And while that won’t miraculously fix all the packs problems...”

“It make it easier for to focus on the things that still need fixing.”

He nodded. “Right in one.”

Jonathan gave his shoulder a squeeze and then walked away.

****

Steve lay on his bed as Robin stroked his hair gently.

“All I’m saying is that a lot problems would be solved if you became pack,” Steve mumbled into her side.

His migraine had taken control of his body and he was in agony. No one was sure why things like headaches, period cramps, and cancer were immune to the werewolf’s ability to super heal, but it really sucked that there were.

“And a whole lot more problems that would crop up if I did,” she reminded him.

He sighed deeply. At the moment he didn’t care about the problems, only the solutions and he told her so.

Robin sighed. “I want to. But I don’t want to alienate my family if I do, you know?”

Steve struggled to sit up. Robin protested his moving but was helpless to stop the much stronger alpha.

He tucked his knees under him and took her hands gently in hers. “This decision is only one you can make. But believe me when I say you have to make it for you. Not me, not your parents or friends. Not even that pretty siren girl you like. You. What do you want to do?”

Robin hung her head. “Can I think about it?”

He squeezed her hands. “Of course you can. I can’t do anything until you’re eighteen anyway and that’s a few months away. But I want you to make a choice that’s best for you.”

She nodded. “Yeah. Okay.”

****

It wasn’t like Gareth straight up laughed in Eddie’s face when he asked about moon days. But it was a near thing.

“I’m a gwyllgi,” he said. He pronounced it like g-with-gee. “It’s like the English Black Dogs, only cooler. I can transform at anytime or place, but my family tends to be groundskeepers for cemeteries and graveyards.”

He shook his head. “All these years playing together in a band and you never knew I was a supe.”

Jeff scoffed. “In all fairness, he was the only human for a number of those years.”

“That’s true,” Brian agreed, “and it’s not like gwyllgi have a scent to them the way werewolves do. Cut him some slack.”

Eddie cocked his head to the side as he scented the air. “I don’t think that’s quite true.”

The three other boys stood stock still as Jeff and Brian sniffed.

Jeff looked to Eddie. “Is that the smell of freshly overturned soil?”

Brian sniffed a little longer. “A bit of death, too.”

Gareth grinned, jumping up and down. “I was wondering when you guys were going to figure it out.”

They all turned to him and cocked their heads.

“Graveyards. You smell like a graveyard!” Brian said. “That’s I was having trouble placing it. Sirens bury their dead at sea.”

Gareth shuddered. “Sirens are weird.”

“How are you friends with two vampires?” Eddie asked. “Aren’t gwyllgi supposed to protect graveyards from entities like Jeff and me?”

Gareth tilted his head to the side and Eddie was struck by how dog-like his friend was.

He shrugged. “My parents vetted all of you before I was allowed to hang out with you guys. If my parents think you guys are cool, what the fuck do I care what you eat?”

Jeff and Eddie looked at each other and huffed out a laugh.

“Yeah, okay,” Eddie said ruffling Gareth’s hair. “Will you take notes during the next moon day and find out what they are teaching kids these days? Because Steve is really worried. Crosses and werewolves have never been a thing.”

Gareth nodded solemnly. “Yeah, even my parents are worried about what that might mean for the gwyllgi. They might decide we’re werewolves and come after us next.”

Eddie winced. That was a real possibility that he really didn’t want to think of right then. But he filed the thought away to talk to Wayne and Steve about later.

“What about you, Bri?” Jeff asked. “You hear anything in your neck of the woods?”

Brian shrugged. “People don’t like being friends with sirens so we tend to be shunned when they know what we are. It’s why I didn’t tell you guys for years.”

“It’s only when you sing though, right?” Eddie asked. “The compelling people to do shit, right?”

Brian shrugged again, fiddling with the tuning pegs on his base. “All sorts of rules to, too. But they don’t care. They think just talking to me will force them to do stuff.”

Eddie frowned. He knew he was new to the supernatural world being a bitten vampire, but there was so much bullshit that he wasn’t sure he could navigate through all of it.

“Well, siren or no,” he said fiercely. “You’re our friend and if anyone gives you hell, just point them me and Jeffey’s direction.”

Brian nodded still looking at the floor. All three other boys came over and hugged him.

“Thanks, guys.”

****

Wayne watched as Jason and Patrick toiled in the midday sun. The work was hard and more than a little tedious, but if they were working, they didn’t have the energy to cause trouble.

Patrick was already starting to shift his beliefs just from talking to Wayne and listening to his stories about fighting for the Union in the Civil War, about this town’s heritage.

Jason, he knew was going to be a tougher nut to crack. Jason was far too used to being spoiled and given everything he wanted when he wanted it to bend to Wayne’s will easily.

But Wayne had his ways and the first thing he needed to do was earn the boy’s trust.

“Did they kick you two off the team?” he rumbled.

Both boys looked up at him and then each other. They stopped what they were doing and leaned on their shovels.

Patrick snorted disdainfully. “They probably should have, but that would have meant removing their entire starting line and Principal Higgins wasn’t about to do that.”

“I got removed from being captain, though,” Jason said bitterly. He kicked at clod of dirt viciously with his foot to show his frustration.

“Who’s the new captain?” Wayne asked gently.

“Dirk Garroway,” Patrick said, glancing over at Jason. “He’s the younger brother of a former member of the team. A lot of the team isn’t happy about it.”

“That’s because he’s afraid of his own fucking shadow,” Jason sneered.

Patrick hid his wince well from Jason, but Wayne noticed nonetheless. “He’s always playing it safe. He doesn’t take risks. Which is great if you want a middle of the road team, but not one that’s going to win championships.”

“That’s certainly true,” Wayne said warmly. “Tell me what happened in the most recent game.”

Jason sneered. “Why would you care?”

Patrick looked panicked. He didn’t want to antagonize Wayne and was always afraid that if Jason mouthed off then Patrick would get the blow back.

“I’ve seen the rise of many a sport here in this country,” Wayne said with a smile. “But basketball and baseball are my favorites.”

That brought Jason up short. He straightened his spine and looked at Wayne with interest. “So you seen all the greats?”

Gotcha! Wayne thought with a grin.

“Sure have seen quite a few of them at any rate,” Wayne said sagely. “Who are your favorites?”

Jason launched into his inspirations and what his aspirations had been before he made the stupidest mistake of his life.

Wayne looked over at Patrick and winked. The other boy blushed, but was starting to finally relax.

It would take some time, but it was now only a matter of how long before Wayne got his answers on why they thought killing the Harrington Pack alpha would solve this town’s woes.

Because Steve was right.

There was something rotten in this town just below the surface. Below what he could see.

And wasn’t that just a terrifying thought.

****

Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @goodolefashionedloverboi @bookbinderbitch @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @bookworm0690 @tinyplanet95 @littlewildflowerkitten @vecnuthy @scheodingers-muppet @just-a-tiny-void @potato-of-the-lord @goosesister @she-collects-smut @irregular-child @y4r3luv

#my writing #stranger things #steddie #ladykailtiha writes #werewolf steve harrington #vampire eddie munson

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wangxianficfinder · 1 year ago

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Fic Finder

~*~

1. hello, I am looking for a fic where " after wei wuxian jump from cliff, lan wangji save him. then baoshan sanren rescued them from a cave and gave wei wuxian his mother's core. and wei wuxian and lan wangji become demonic cultivator and immortal."

FOUND? 🔒 Blossoming flowers in a full moon - 花好月圆 by ThisIsWhereTheMagicHappens (T, 64k, wangxian, canon divergence, happy ending, fix-it of sorts, wangxian cuddle to immortarility)

~*~

2. Fic finder request please! 🙏

It’s an a/b/o Wangxian where WWX wasn’t used to his designation since coming back into MXY’s body and he had trouble letting go and asking LZ for what he needed. I mostly remember a lot of really hot smut and a scene near the end where LWJ tells him to present and WWX decides to tease him for it and gets spanked as a result and then gets what he wants and is very pleased about it. I’ve checked all compilations and can’t find it anywhere. 😭😭

#2 on the recent Fic finder— it’s not any of those, but they were good reads. 😭

Wangxian was already married in the one I’m looking for.

NOT FOUND! Mutual Nurture by NinaCarow (E, 9k, WangXian, Mentions of Character Death, mentions of abuse, Mentions of Rape, no rape occures tho, its speculation, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega WWX, Alpha LWJ, Past Alpha WWX, Biting, Bonding, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Knotting, WWX Has a New Golden Core, its just sex and cuteness, mostly)

NOT FOUND! In the Face of Fate by InTheGreySpaces (E, 17k, WangXian, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Mpreg, Pregnant WWX, Top/Bottom Versatile | Switch WangXian, Pregnant Sex, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Miscarriage, reference to child death, Grief, WWX has self-image/body issues, taming the Alpha, Childbirth, Labor and Delivery, Painful Heats, malfunctioning hormones, post-cannon divergent, WWX Wants to be a Parent, desperately, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics)

NOT FOUND! You've got me feelin' like a child now by MaggieoftheOwls (E, 9k, WangXian, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha LWJ, Past Alpha WWX, Omega MXY) though I haven't read them, all are tagged with Past Alpha WWX

NOT FOUND! Like a Needle to the North by athena_crikey (E, 87k, WangXian, ZhuiLing, Canon Divergence, A/B/O Dynamics, Mating Cycles/In Heat, WWX adapting to being an omega, societal standards, Pining, UST, Grief, Trauma, Protectiveness, Canon Retelling, Slow Burn, Menstruation, lots of bath sex for some reason, Rimming, Knotting)

FOUND! sandalwood and cinnamon by parsnipit (E, 39k, WangXian, A/B/O Dynamics, Established Relationship, Domestic Fluff, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Fluff and Angst, Body Dysphoria, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Post-Canon, Oral Sex, Hand Jobs, Dom/sub Undertones, Praise Kink ,Nesting, Overstimulation, Knotting, Spanking, Subspace, Light Bondage)

~*~

3. I'm tryibg to find a wonderful Wangxian fic i read a few months ago, which I don't seem to have bookmarked or saved. Wei Ying & Lan Zhan travel one of the Silk Road caravan routes all the way to the outpost near the Jade Gate. I think Wei Ying was the one who wanted to go there, but he was vague about why. There are all kind of sub plots going on - i think some of the Wen are blending in out there, there's also a bit about ghosts (i think) of the Tarim Basin mummies - one of their resting places was violated. Ugh. It was a fascinating case fic - i've tried various keywords searching, but haven't had any luck. @emrinalex

FOUND? Bitter Plants Bearing Sweet Fruit by Kryal (M, 83k, wangxian, graphic depictions of violence, canon-typical horror elements, Worldbuilding, Desert, Misuse of Historic Setting, Original Character Death(s), Case Fic, aftermath of canon, ridiculously long author notes, Established Relationship, Nothing Explicit But Shameless Innuendo)

~*~

4. Hello!

I'm searching for a fic where it's kind of like 5+1 things and something along the lines of '5 Times WWX unintentionally hurt LWJ'

I'm not sure if it is deleted but is it possible for me to get the link for internet archive if it isn't?

Thank you! Sorry for the trouble.

~*~

5. Plz can you tell me which main Wei Ying Baushan Sanren's talisman has been activated by mistake and he is getting injured by breaking his memory and all the juniors are worried and call Wangji.

For 5, was it a fic where Wen Qing was a veiled vendor and wwx accidently activated the talisman with a bloody hand and then was regressed to a kid?

~*~

6. Hello!

I’m looking for a fic I read some time ago (can’t even say I liked it, just in the mood). It was a modern AU where WWX and JC are raising JL together, but have to work at a sex line (JC) and strip club (WWX, not sure about this one) to make ends meet (there was also a scene of JL finding out). Then, they bump into the Lan brothers in separate incidents the same day and give them their cards.

That’s most of what I remember, I hope you can find the fic for me (tried all the filters on AO3, couldn’t find it).

Great work on this blog, thank you’ :) @fomalhaut48

Thank you, but it is not this one. JC's work at a sex line was much more prominent there, and the story did not start with the Lan brothers as this one does.

Not FOUND Silk & Satin by Brieeze01 (E, 171k, wangxian, JC/LXC, modern, Stripper/Exotic Dancer AU, Strippers & Strip Clubs, Pole Dancing, Falling In Love, Love Confessions, Idiots in Love, Child LSZ, Child JL, Supportive brothers, hardworking brothers, Uncles and nephews, Love Story, Emotions, brokeass pole dancers meet billionaire bachelor brothers, Kinks, Lipstick, High Heels, Blindfolds, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Gentle Sex, Lube, Strip Tease, Dancing, Dirty Dancing, First Kiss, First Time, Love Bites, Anal Fingering, Rimming, Romance, Silk, satin, Slow Burn, Happy Ending, Wholesome, Pining, kink appreciation, healthy family relationship, Healthy Relationships, Everybody uses lube, Lapdance)

~*~

7. A) I'm looking for a fic where LZ sings a song for WY at a party or karaoke. It is a song with a vibe like "double take" by dhruv if my memory serves me correct. It is one hundred percent a song famous on tiktok by a male singer.

Anyone has any idea pls?

B) I'm also looking for a particular fic where LZ stopped playing after wangxian's falling out, then at a social gathering LZ is urged to play the piano and wy sees how much lz hurts and how much music flows through LZ's soul. @imstillthinkingaboutithmm

7B)

FOUND! Tempo Rubato by Spodumene (E, 108k, wangxian, modern, angst w/ happy ending, romance, persuasion au, separations, pining, miscommunication, depression, self-harm, reconciliation, smut)

~*~

8. so there was a fanfic I read a while ago on archive that I really wanna find: it’s a modern au where Wei Wuxian is a flower shop owner and Lan Wangi is a law student that meets him at the flower shop. I believe Jiang Chong is also a law student at the same school and Lan Xichen is WWX’s psychiatrist.

I hope that helps a bit, if u can’t find it I thank you for the effort @weebachu

~*~

9. Good day, The fic am looking for has a teenage breakup between Lan zhan and Wei ying. Qiren forcefully takes Lan zhan to another country making Wei ying think Lan zhan dumped him. Then forward too few years later, when Lans have to take Wei ying's help reagrding their institution making the couple remeet. Wei ying treats Lan zhan coldly and then they slowly mend. Can you pls help out? @mridhu6

FOUND? Tempo Rubato by Spodumene (E, 108k, wangxian, modern, angst w/ happy ending, romance, persuasion au, separations, pining, miscommunication, depression, self-harm, reconciliation, smut)

~*~

10. Fic finder please! I am looking for a fic where Lan Wangji kisses Wei Wuxian soon after they eat and he screws up his face because Wuxian’s mouth was spicy from his meal. Wuxian begins to chuckle at him and tries to move away but Wangji wants to keep kissing even though it is too spicy for him. I know it isn't a lot to go on and I don't remember any of the other plot, just that this scene was super cute. If anyone remembers this, please let me know! Thank you!

~*~

11. hello!!!

i just remembered a fic and i cannot remember the title, so i think it happens post-canon and people are talking about LSZ origins. they were like oh he could be wangxian's biological child.

i think the last part includes jingyi being drunk?? and begging wangxian to give LSZ another sibling... i thinj they were in lanling at that time

thank you! @cuddlemehun

FOUND! Wei Wuxian, God of Fertility by tired (T, 19k, WangXian, Family Feels, Crack Treated Seriously, Crack, the juniors get REAL drunk, Gossip, POV Multiple, surprisingly not an mpreg fic, Kissing, Self-Esteem Issues, Discussion of Porn and Sex, Post-Canon, SOFT SOFT SOFT, married wangxian, Fluff and Humor)

~*~

12. Hi I would like find a fic where Wei wuxian was sugar daddy to a sugar baby Lan zhan who also happened to be a newly enrolled student in Wei wuxian uni where he's a lecturer. There's also mention of Lan zhan's favourite book frequently in the fic. Thank you

FOUND? forget-me-not by mellowflicker (E, 31k, WIP, WangXian, Modern AU, Sugar Daddy WWX, Sugar Baby LWJ, Professor WWX, Student LWJ, Bottom LWJ/Top WWX, Secret Relationship, Age Difference, Hurt/Comfort, Chronic Pain, JZX & LWJ Friendship, Family Issues, WWX Isn’t Adopted by the Jiāngs)

FOUND? Teacher's Pet by anobtra (animeobsessedtrash) (E, 43k, wangxian, modern, Dark LWJ, College/University, Age Difference, Professor WWX, Student LWJ, Degradation, mild stalking, thigh riding, WWX Talks Dirty, Frottage, Mutual Masturbation, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Bottom LWJ, Coming Untouched, Orgasm Delay/Denial, LWJ is a Brat, Consent is Sexy, Begging, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Exhibitionism, Voyeurism, Teasing, Hair-pulling, Semi-Public Sex, Masturbation, Consensual Sex, Rough Sex, Dry Humping, everyone is of-age, Barebacking, Possessive Behavior, Porn With Plot, Jerk Off Instructions, Service Top WWX, Protective LWJ, Pining LWJ, Light Humiliation, Possessive WWX, Possessive LWJ, Intercrural Sex)

FOUND? together, we're just enough by lulu_kitty (E, 134k, WangXian, Modern AU, Bartender LWJ, single dad wwx, Kid fic (sort of), Excessive Fluff, Yearning, barely there plot, neurodivergent wangxian, canonical parental issues, lwj in jewelry, accidental sugar gege wwx, fluff and eventual smut, Bottom LWJ/Top WWX, Service Top WWX, Bisexual WWX, Rich WWX, a-yuan is a wei but still also a wen, wwx is a-yuan's biological baba, Older WWX, Younger LWJ, Slow-ish burn, Light Dom/sub, Brief LWJ/Others, Past WWX/Other(s))

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13. Im looking for a time traveling wei wuxian where he goes to far into the past (his words) and he has to seal is memories, but from the outside it looks like he was attacked by resentful energy with a worries madam yu who then officially adopts wei wuxian. Also after he was "attacked" he also mumbles lan zhan's name in his sleep so the lans are there. @samriajack

FOUND! 🔒 Hope series by RoseThorne (T, 57k, wangxian, WWX & YZY, WWX & JFM, WWX & JYL, YZY/JFM, JC & WWX, LQR & WWX, LXC & JYL, Madam Jin & YZY, LQR & JFM, LXC & LWJ, Transmigration, Time Travel Fix-It, Illnesses, Family, Scars, Memory Loss, Angst, Crying, Music, Nosebleed, Fear, Recovery, Nightmares, Sharing a Bed, Flirting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Good Parent YZY, Referenced Sexual Slavery, Blood and Gore, Monsters, Sexual Tension, betrothal, Arranged Marriage, Grief, Adoption, POV Third Person, POV Alternating, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Good Parent LQR, Clairvoyance, Butterfly Effect, Kid Fic, Epistolary, Food, Secrets, Resentful Energy, Cultivation Sect Politics, Character Death)

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14. Hi! I'm looking for a fic (WIP) where LWJ and WWX travel back in time. LWJ still has his older core so the Lans think he's the reincarnation of Lan An when he's destroys the Wall of Rules. WwX avoids getting adopted by the Jiangs by becoming a rogue cultivator and gets nicknamed a sparrow. JFM found him though and somehow during a night hunt JC loses his golden core to a taotie. I can't seem to find it on AO3 anymore and hope you know it or it's name!. Thanks so much!

FOUND? A Life Without Regrets by naqaashi (M, 74k, wangxian, JFM & WWX, JC & WWX, WRH & WWX, LXC & LWJ, LQR & LWJ, LWJ & NHS, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Crack Treated Seriously, musical cultivation, Slow Burn, Pining, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Murder Husbands, PTSD, BAMF WWX, Demonic Cultivation, POV WWX, Cultivation Sect Politics, Worldbuilding, No Yīn Iron, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Artist WWX, Musician WWX, Night Hunts, Fate & Destiny, Bad Parent JFM & YZY, Golden Core, Cultivation Theory, Sentient Burial Mounds, Father-Son Relationship, Dysfunctional Family, Grief/Mourning, Parent-Child Relationship, Angry WWX, Pining WWX, WWX is Not Okay, No Golden Core Transfer, BAMF LWJ, Pining LWJ, POV LWJ, Angry LWJ, One-Braincell Wangxian, Love Confessions, Idiots in Love, WIP)

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15. Hello! I'm looking for a fic, it was post canon and relatively short. Wei Wuxian accidentally lets slip that Lan Xichen called him a mistake during the whole temple thing, and Sizhui and Lan Wangji get upset and end up confronting Lan Xichen. I remember there was a seen where Wei Wuxian recited everything Lan Xichen said to him to Lan Wangji. It points out how unfair it was to expect Wei Wuxian to realize Lan Wangji was in love with him, and that even if he did, he shouldn't be expected to drop everything je was doing (you know, like protecting the Wens) just to make Lan Wangji "happy."

Thank you so much, you're all awesome!

FOUND! 🔒💖 When has silence saved anyone? by Vrishchika (T, 6k, wangxian, LSZ & WWX & LWJ, post-canon, LXC critical, family feels, angry LWJ & LSZ, LXC gets scolded)

NOT FOUND! Wei Ying Was Not A "MISTAKE" by Jeeny271196 (Not rated, 6k, wangxian, LXC & LWJ, BAMF LWJ, confrontation, hurt/comfort, protective LWJ, not LXC friendly)

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16. Hello, I have a fic finder request! Read it ages ago on ao3 and now cannot find.

Set during the time skip and then postcanon. Some Lan elders took advantage of LWJ's punishment to sexualy abuse him, taking him out of the cold cave blindfolded once a month. Afterwards, warmth was a trauma trigger and he only felt comfortable with the younger generation of Lans because he knew they were too young to have been involved. After canon and getting together with wwx he has a breakdown after realising that sex isn't suposed hurt and goes to sleep outside soaking wet so he can feel cold.

FOUND? 🔒 even the proud probably die on their knees by yuer (vintageblueskies) (E, 14k, wangxian, LXC & LWJ, LQR & LWJ, LWJ/Other(s), rape/non-con, Rape, Gang Rape, PTSD, Whump, Dissociation, Flashbacks, Recovery, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Anal Fingering, Blow Jobs, Bottom LWJ, breaking all the rules of empathy, tiny tiny mention of unacted upon xiyao, two mentions of a character throwing up, the non-con isn't wangxian)

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17. hello! thank you for doing this!

i was looking for this where wwx befriends lwj early on in school days and gets to know he's gay and defends him against everyone and people think he's lgbt+ because he attends everything on lwj's behalf. he didn't actually realize he was bi until they get into college and he meets mianmian there and starts dating her.

they have a mutual break up later and wwx sort of realizes he has feels for lwj and gets all weird about it?

hope it made sense.

thank you again!

FOUND? Walk the Circle in the Other Direction by notevenyou (E, 31k, wangxian, modern, College/University, High School, Coming Out, Homophobia, Bad Parenting, Alcohol, Recreational Drug Use, Vomiting, Panic Attack, Bullying, Minor Injuries, Blood, Fighting, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Oblivious WWX, honestly not as dark as the tags make it seem, bisexual WWX, WWX/MM, sex between a man and a woman)

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18. Hey do you guys know a fashion industry fic where people grow plants out of their bodies? I thought i had it in my bookmarks but i can't find it anymore @imstillthinkingaboutithmm

FOUND! The Roots Grow Riotous by hansbekhart (E, 104k, wangxian, modern, fashion au, garment company, casual sex, group sex, implied/referenced cheating, switching, recreational drug use, angst w/ happy ending, single dad WWX, panic attacks, implied/referenced self-harm, grief/mourning, catharsis, body horror, floral horror) but I don't think it's available online

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19. hello!! i'm looking for a fic where wwuxian, jiang cheng, and jin ling get invitations to some backwater-areas of yunmeng? but it's a trap. i cant remember the name but there's two significant parts i remember; they're served shrimp wine(?), and wwx gets whipped by zidian and promptly collapses later. thanks!!

FOUND? Light a Match / Watch Us Burn by athena_crikey (T, 24k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Post-Canon, Whump, h/c, Kidnapping, Angst, yunmeng bros reconciling, jin ling too)

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20. Hello, I’m looking for a fic where wwx runs into lwj in yiling after the core transfer

FOUND? these colours fade for you only by doodlebutt (T, 36k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Everybody Lives, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, ...eventually, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, bed sharing, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Sunshot Campaign)

FOUND? nothing gold can stay by rikke (M, 10k, WangXian)

FOUND? to hell and back for you by blumeraki (G, 5k, WangXian, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Universe, Protective WWX, Protective LWJ, Everything Hurts, Implied/Referenced Torture, Hurt WWX, Hurt LWJ, Branding Iron, Whipping, discipline whip, jc saves the day, Canon Divergence)

FOUND? no step had trodden black by Stratisphyre (T, 32k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Madam Lan lives, Past Rape, Golden Core Reveal, Hurt/Comfort, References to Attempted Suicide and Suicidal Thoughts, Canon-Typical Violence)

FOUND? Instead by apathyinreverie (T, 27k, wangxian, fix-it, darker gusu lan, manipulative elders, but in a good way?, golden core transfer fix-it of sorts, not Jiang friendly, or anyone friendly, except wangxian, cultivation world critical, fluff, sunshot, politics, courting rituals, genius WWX, no demonic cultivation, talismans, possessive LWJ, protective LWJ, WIP)

~*~

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic finder #wangxian fic search #the untamed #wangxianficfinder #long post

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luthsthings · 4 months ago

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Sims 4 x 10 Years!

Ten years ago today, I booked the day off on my work schedule and played a lot of Sims 4.

I'd been a Simmer since 2000, after one of my kids asked for the game because they'd seen it at a friend's house. I played The Sims, and then Sims 2, and then Sims 3. Sims 3 and my computer didn't get on too well, and I fought it a lot, wanting to play rotationally as a micromanager! When the Sims 4 trailers started coming out, I felt like they'd finally made a version of the game that was really for me, as a micromanaging rotational player who doesn't want to restart for new packs and new worlds, and who likes some quirk and exaggeration.

So on September 2, 2014, I installed Sims 4. (I'd preordered, of course!) I downloaded trailer Sims from the Gallery (I still have a soft spot for Amber -- in one of my saves, back around 2015, she married Elvis Presley). I giggled at Sims sticking their fingers in their ear while they cooked. I got annoyed by the push-ups. I completely failed at making a roof. A Sim read a book while on the toilet and I was delighted. I took my Willow Creek Sim to visit the bar in Oasis Springs and enjoyed the view there (I like the dinos).

I made a self-Sim and spent lots of time tweaking her face till my husband came into the room, glanced at my monitor, and said, "Hey, that's actually you!" She's still my self-Sim (over on my avatar there). I just update her look now and then as I update my own.

I had a lot of fun, and I found myself using Sims as a new creative outlet in ways I hadn't so much before. I felt creative.

Eventually I confessed to my daughter that I'd actually played with my self-Sim. Here she is as a scientist back in 2015. Once upon a time, in an earlier version of the game, we -- me and my kids -- were playing with "us" in game and I died in a model rocket accident. This was traumatic and I was not supposed to play with "us" anymore. This time I did not die.

And here I am still playing! (But my hair went white.) I've had three-day saves and seven-year saves (RIP that save!). I've played every pack, but there are still base game things I haven't done! Sometimes I get really caught up in too much micromanaging with the game (townies really do often need fixing), then a new pack comes out and I try new things and it's a lot of fun again. It makes me laugh.

I've also made new friends in Sims communities and helped lots of Simmers keep playing the game. I started doing that back in 2014. A lot of the Sims community back then was focusing on what was bad about Sims 4. I was having fun with it, though, and enjoyed helping other people on the Forums who just wanted to do that.

That just kind of... morphed. It turned into some Forums posts gathering scattered info about upcoming packs from the various places SimGurus were saying things (I stopped doing those a couple of years ago -- there are websites gathering that info now, and a lot less places it turns up too). It turned into threads gathering info about mods that got broken in big game patches... and that was way back in 2015! I'm delighted that it turned into a whole thing in the community, with different places providing the info different ways. Getting to know the modding community after starting that has been a lot of fun. I even brushed off my old programming knowledge from high school and took over some mods from a modder I'd gotten to know well. I do��like the lack of punch cards in modern programming!

I'm also super thankful to EA and Maxis for inviting me some years ago to be a Game Changer (the program that morphed into the EA Creator Network). I love the connections I have with other creators and storytellers and support people in the EACN, even if I feel really tiny next to the big names with their thousands and thousands of followers (but a quick thank you to my little group of Patrons! I appreciate you a ton!). I am also very appreciative of the gifted packs from EA that I receive as part of the EACN. They've helped make it a little bit easier to volunteer my time to supporting other Simmers, even if I do now have to put disclaimers on gameplay content I post, which sometimes feels a bit silly.

tldr: Happy 10th Birthday, Sims 4! I hope it's a fabulous one.

And now I'm going to grab some lunch, do some chores, then dive back into my current save. Cassandra has two love interests to consider, and that jewel is charging up. Plus she really needs a cat. And some actual income. And some improvements in her spellcasting (my previous save's Cassandra was a Mermaid). And that's not to start on Alexander building some skills before he heads off to uni for Robotics...

Psst...

Don't forget to mark on your calendar the next anniversary. The Sims franchise will be 25 on February 4, 2025!

#simblr #sims 4 #the sims 4 #ts4 #sims 4 anniversary #the sims 4 anniversary #ts4 anniversary

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sadiecoocoo · 18 days ago

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Arcane Fanfiction - Hazel, Sweet and Dynamic

Summary - After the events of the final battle, Jayce and Viktor find themselves in the same universe that Jayce was stuck in before, at least they hope it is.

Relationships - Jayce/Viktor

Tags - Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fix-It, Post-Canon, Jayce is a Sweetheart (League of Legends), Jayce Needs a Hug (League of Legends), Protective Jayce (League of Legends), Viktor Needs a Hug (League of Legends), Hurt Viktor (League of Legends), Hurt Jayce (League of Legends), Emotional Hurt/Comfort

Word Count - 3,431

Read on AO3

Notes: Viktor Nation, how we feeling? yay I finished this! maybe... this might end up being multichaptered depending on the popular consensus :) anyways, been a minute since I've posted any fics, but Arcane has saved me from myself because and I will proceed to think about it for the weeks to come fic name is from the Eye Blue, Like the Atlantic song :) alrighty, please enjoy <3

He could still see the color, even with his eyes closed. First there was a trail of gold that spiraled around his irises. Then it faded and bloomed again with blues, purples, and pinks. When he focused on the hazel eyes holding his gaze, he thought it might have been the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

But it was fading, giving way to the dark void that his eyelids cast over his eyes. What had seemed so loud was now an eerie silence. For a long time, he saw, heard, and felt nothing. It wasn’t too different to how he had been before all the color.

He had only heard the devil that whispered in his ear, the part of him that believed singularity was perfection. He couldn’t describe what he had felt, he thought maybe it had been contempt, for being rejected repeatedly by the one person who he thought would understand. Maybe he had felt jealousy, for the people who already seemed so perfect, for those who didn’t seek any more growth because they believed they didn’t need it. Maybe he just felt nothing, or an absence of what he should have felt. It had been addicting.

When cold pricked his skin, he longed to go back to that absence. He felt himself shiver, he thought how strange that must have been. How could someone whose skin had been nearly entirely replaced by metal have the gall to shiver ?

He felt more, and that more seemed to grow as he gained more awareness. Something hard and grainy pressed into his side, biting into his cheek and any exposed skin. It made him shudder and curl into himself.

Even the things that he knew should have been comforting made him want to crawl into a hole and cease to exist. The soft cloth wrapped around him, something that had been given to him because someone thought him to feel cold when he had already lost all sense of feeling, felt like it was scraping against his skin. It rubbed him raw, leaving him feeling as though there were burns all over him.

He took in a heaving breath, though that too was unfamiliar. Something that everything needed on a basis to survive should not have been so unfamiliar. It should not have made him panic more and struggle to breath again.

He thought he had died, surrounded by all that color and noise, knowing that he was imperfect and being content with it. How could he be breathing? Or was this his punishment for what he had done to those people looking for salvation, to experience what he had abandoned again, in such volumes that he could hardly stand it.

He gagged, coughing on nothing but his own stuttering breath. He tasted something metallic, and hoped, begged that it was the familiarity of his metal flesh. Instead, something dripped from his mouth, being flung out as he coughed.

Blood. He had never been so terrified of blood, yet equally so grateful. He was alive, but he wasn’t at the same time. He had yet to regain his full awareness, yet he was aware of this fact. Blood, if he wasn’t already struggling to do so, the prospect of it might have taken his ability to breathe.

He coughed again, this time it made his whole body jolt. He turned from his side to his back, causing some of the grainy texture to fall off of his face.

He took in another wheezing inhale, and opened his eyes to color. It was the most hideous color he had ever seen. How dare something be so dull after he had just witnessed such vibrance only moments before.

He missed the blues, the golds, and the pink. He wanted to see the hazel again. The intensity of it that promised him the salvation he had been looking for for his entire life. Instead he got the dullness of a storm cloud, with only the occasional flash of light.

He moved his hand, his fingernails gripping into the gritty dirt he lay on. With the addition of sight, what he felt seemed to lessen in intensity, though it was all staggeringly new. Except it wasn’t entirely new, just forgotten, he prayed that in time he would get used to it. Then again, if he was in hell, if he had died, he figured that would never happen.

He slid his arms back against the ground, feeling the dirt rub against his skin. He pushed against his elbows, levering himself to sit upright. He looked down at himself, analyzing the skin that wasn’t flesh but now didn’t seem like metal anymore either.

His legs were the same, healed despite looking even more deformed than they had been. He ran his slender along his leg, the leg he despised. The leg that someone thought made him admirable.

That brought another thought to his mind. The person who had stopped him from making the biggest mistake of his life. He had been with him through the end. Though he hoped Jayce hadn’t been brought to whatever infernal place he was in now, he longed for his presence.

“Jayce,” he muttered, not quite expecting an answer, but all the while over prepared for it.

He turned his analytic gaze elsewhere, it looked like he was in a small canyon. It looked familiar, but distorted in ways he couldn’t describe. Everything was dull and grey, though, mimicking the storm clouds above them.

A stuttering cough brought Viktor out of whatever strange haze he had been in, teetering on the edge of awareness and unawareness. He startled, and looked around for the source of the pained noise.

His eyes landed on a limp form, laying uncomfortably on the ground just a few steps away from him. The man’s back was facing Viktor, but the arm he was laying on looked as if it were reaching towards him, though it was as limp as the rest of the man.

Viktor scrambled to reach him as his mind started to catch up with his eyes. Every movement he made felt unnatural and uncanny. He half dragged himself to the man, almost trampling on top of his arm.

When he reached him, he forced him to lay on his back. Viktor moved his arm so it rested at his side to keep him from laying on it.

Viktor’s breathing hastened as his mind and eyes worked together to supply him with more details of what he was seeing. Dirt, grime, blood, a stained, dark tunic, messy hair, longer than what he was used to.

Jayce was here, with him, even if he was unconscious. When Viktor pressed his ear to Jayce’s chest, he heard a steady heartbeat.

Viktor startled again and Jayce’s chest stuttered with another cough. Then he watched as his eyes fluttered, that glorious hazel peeking out through his lashes. He thought he could get addicted to that sight.

“Jayce,” he whispered like a secret as he watched Jayce’s unfocused eyes roam, then land on Viktor. The smallest smile graced Jayce’s split and bloodied lips. Something made Viktor’s vision blurry, and he felt something wet trail down his cheeks.

“Hey,” Jayce rasped. That was all Viktor needed before he practically tackled the other man. He wrapped his arms behind Jayce’s back and pressed his face into the crook of his neck. A large, calloused hand landed in Viktor’s hair as Jayce’s other hand was placed firmly on Viktor’s back, pressing him impossibly closer.

It felt like Viktor’s throat was closing up, and he made a choked, foreign sound that he barely remembered the name of. Jayce started to gently shush him, running his hand through Viktor’s hair soothingly.

“I-I’m so sorry,” He sobbed, holding onto Jayce tighter as if it would help get his point across. “I thought I was doing a good thing.” he promised, because he really did. How could a world without death, disease, and destruction be bad?

How had he not seen that for that to be possible, everything had to be destroyed anyway? He was foolish to think that he would be the answer to the world’s sorrows. What authority could he possibly have had to think such a thing?

“I know,” Jayce said softly. Even after everything, he still understood. “We’re okay,” He assured, somehow pulling Viktor closer.

They laid there for what felt like a blissful eternity. Viktor’s sobbing (what a foreign thing to him, even on the days where his leg hurt so bad he couldn’t move it, he had never been one to cry) devolved into sniffles and weak coughs. Jayce’s iron grip felt less desperate and more relaxed. For a moment everything felt peaceful, like there was nothing but this small bubble that the two of them were in.

Then there was a loud bang, the sound of thunder. Jayce startled, sitting up and bringing Viktor along with him. Of course, Jayce had always hated storms. Viktor could remember one late night in the lab, both of them exhausted, Jayce for having to be at an event and Viktor for working himself to death, when Jayce had been brought to near meltdown from a storm raging outside. He had reluctantly opened up to Viktor about the blizzard that nearly took his and his mother’s life.

Viktor now remembered that blizzard as if he were there. In a way he supposed he had been. Seeing into Jayce’s mind, even only for a second, was a vertiginous experience. It felt much more intimate compared to those he had healed before, likely because those were taken, not thrown upon him like Jayce’s memories had been.

“Where are we?” Jayce asked quietly, sounding as though he were in shock. Viktor pried himself from the comforting place against Jayce’s chest and looked around. It looked like they were in a small gorge, open to the dull sky.

The assaulting grey that everything still was made Viktor irrationally angry. He longed to be back in that astral place, embracing Jayce for what he thought would be the last time, and being surrounded by so much noise it almost drowned itself out.

“I’m not sure,” Viktor answered reluctantly. Jayce’s hands were on Viktor’s shoulder, but he regretfully pulled away to stand. He was surprised to feel strong enough to stand without a cane or crutch.

His leg wasn’t as pain addled as before, though there was still a dull ache that threatened to get worse with time. Even so, he felt like he could breathe a little easier, and he felt more energized.

He unconsciously reached out to the arcane, expecting a small reassurance that it was still there. For a moment he thought that Sky would appear beside him with glowing light surrounding her like a halo.

He was instead met with a strange absence. It was a hollowness that he didn’t quite resent, but it brought him no comfort. Even knowing what Jayce had seen, that the arcane was dangerous, he still sought to use its power.

Looking down at Jayce, who was still warily observing their surroundings, he thought his ability to heal would have been useful in that moment.

Jayce had on a leg brace. It was nearly identical to the one Viktor had used. He had failed to notice it before, too hyper focused on his glorious evolution. For a moment a spike of fear made Viktor worry that Jayce had somehow contracted the same illness he had suffered from for so much of his life. His rational mind told him it had to just be a physical injury, but he hadn’t been the most rational person lately.

“I guess we should figure out where we are,” Jayce suggested absentmindedly. He was still analyzing what was around them with furrowed brows. Viktor thought he looked like he might recognize the place, and if he thought back on the memories he had seen, he thought he did too.

Jayce stood with little complaint, relieving Viktor of some of his worries. Even so, he couldn’t help searching for some sign of pain or discomfort coming from his partner.

“You’re not hurt at all, are you?” He asked carefully. He had never liked being asked if he was okay, as if he were a fragile shard of glass. He doubted Jayce would appreciate, in his eyes unwarranted, concern either.

“Nothing new,” Jayce reassured him. He wiped at his split lip, dispelling some of the blood congealing there. “You?” He asked, looking Viktor over for any sign of injury. Viktor only shook his head. He didn’t know if anything could even pierce his skin anymore. The only injuries he thought he could get were mental ones now.

Jayce nodded silently, his worried gaze softening. Viktor couldn’t help but feel something lift in his chest. Neither of them were hurt, they were okay. Though, he still felt a faint buzzing in the back of his mind, something whispering to him that everything felt off, just a little to the left.

He could feel the dirt and grit poking into the soles of his feet as he walked, like little pin-pricks. He hadn’t remembered feeling that in the commune either. A hollow breeze blew by, and he couldn’t help but shiver.

Jayce silently adjusted the blue fabric VIktor was wearing to better cover him. He gently brought it to cover Viktor’s shoulder, then patted it lightly to smooth out a small wrinkle.

Viktor watched silently as he did so, his lips parted from his surprise. Jayce was careful, but not in the same way one would be careful with a fragile object. If anything, he adjusted the fabric with reverence .

He wasn’t sure if Jayce’s silence made it worse or not. How could he do that like it was so natural after everything. It made Viktor’s stomach clench with doubt.

“Come on,” Jayce said quietly, nodding towards a small opening that looked to lead out into a field. His soft eyes bore into Viktor, his skin burning wherever they looked.

He pressed his lips into a thin line and nodded silently. Viktor allowed Jayce to walk ahead, but followed closely. It almost felt like a tether was tying him to Jayce, only allowing him to go so far as the length of its circumference.

The two walked until they found a singular old and decaying building. Veins of color, still disgustingly dull, rode up the walls like vines and emerged on the roofs like coral.

A sense of apprehension settled in Viktor’s gut. He drew back, wishing to go back to the solace of the small ravine the two had been in before. But Jayce continued to creep forward, and that tether tugged at Viktor to stay close

It was another hour before they saw the first husk of what was once a person. They were stuck forever in a still run, their face molded into a silent scream. The sense of relief and joy at finding him and Jayce both alive and safe was tarnished by the sight.

“This is like before,” Jayce muttered, almost to himself. His eyes stared blankly forward, remembering something that Viktor didn’t think he wanted to know about.

“Jayce?” Viktor whispered with uncertainty. He hesitantly put his hand on Jayce’s shoulder, the same one that had the singular piece of armor. The shoulder plate was strangely gone now, though the rest of the coat seemed intact.

Jayce startled when Viktor made contact, like he had forgotten Viktor was even there. He was stuck in another place in his mind, or maybe this was the same place, and he was just thinking of a different time.

Viktor retracted his hand when Jayce stared at him silently for a moment. The taller man blinked several times before frowning and turning towards the husk again.

“This is the same as when I was in the other dimension,” He explained, licking his lips nervously. Viktor didn’t say that he already knew that, that he had seen it too.

“I- what if we failed?” He asked. Jayce slowly reached his hand up to touch the husk’s face. He cupped its cheek gently, rubbing his thumb in a circle.

Viktor stared as he watched the worry in Jayce’s expression devolve into horror. He wasn’t sure if the horror was from the fact that they might have failed, that he was currently touching the husk of someone who had been alive maybe only minutes ago, or that he had broken another promise.

Viktor placed his hand firmly on Jayce’s shoulder, remembering the times Jayce had done similarly to him whenever they were at an impasse with hextech. He doubted it felt as warm as Jayce’s touch always had.

“Perhaps we’re in the dimension you were in before?” Viktor tried gently. His eyes softened as Jayce turned to look at him miserably.

“I never wanted to come back here, but I hope so.” Jayce mumbled. Viktor squeezed his shoulder.

Jayce put his hand over Viktor’s without a word.

They continued walking, passing more and more husks of what used to be people. They had made it into the undercity from the plains they were in before.

Viktor was starting to recognize some of the buildings. He had to speed up his pace when he saw the river that had led him to Singed so many years ago.

He could still smell the grey in the air, taste its foul and bitter scent. He could feel it pressing on his lungs, trying to make his disease resurface.

The two men had stopped and were sitting in an alley with their backs against the wall. Jayce’s leg had noticeably started bothering him, and Viktor hated to admit it, but his own leg was getting irritated too.

He had been so used to not feeling anything in that leg, the dull ache that made it throb felt almost overwhelming.

It was fairly cold, likely getting into the winter months of the year. The never ending storm didn’t help much either, though it thankfully hadn’t rained at all.

The alley they were in was dark, filled with dust and grime. There were two husks in there, one much smaller than the other, that were clutching each other tightly. Viktor pointedly did not look at them, instead staring ahead at the bits of faded graffiti on the wall, though the graffiti might’ve been more of the strange corruption.

“Hey, V, you doing okay?” Jayce asked quietly. They still spoke in whispers, as if talking too loud would shatter their strenuous peace.

Viktor was still waiting for Jayce to be mad, to scream and yell. Then he would remember that Jayce was never that kind of person, sure he got mad sometimes, but he felt bad about it afterwards. Viktor hoped that that wasn’t another thing that changed about him.

“No,” Viktor answered, because, after everything, he couldn’t bring himself to lie to Jayce. He glanced at him before flitting his eyes back to the wall. Just that small moment of eye contact felt overwhelming.

Everything seemed so loud now. Whenever he moved it felt like pins were poking his skin, like all his limbs had been asleep for a long time.

Viktor flinched when Jayce rested his head on his shoulder lightly. He looked at Jayce, who was now also staring at the wall blankly.

His hair fell over his eyes. It was another change. They were both so different now, but this one seemed like an okay change.

“Are-“ he started, a little louder than he meant to, “are you alright?” He corrected.

Jayce only let out a rough sigh in response. He moved so his face was buried in Viktor’s shoulder.

He tentatively leaned his head over Jayce’s.

“Not right now,” Jayce whispered, making it a secret between them, even though they were the only living beings around. “But I think I will be soon.” He added with a release of breath, and his shoulders sagged as if a weight had been lifted off of them.

“Why?” Viktor asked. They weren’t in a situation where it seemed like they could ever be okay.

“‘Cause even if everyone else is gone, I’ve still got my partner.” Jayce said, lifting his head to look Viktor in the eyes earnestly. “Right?” He asked, a wary doubt trailing into his voice and his gaze bordering on desperation.

For a moment Viktor only stared in disbelief. He didn’t deserve the forgiveness Jayce was offering him so easily. He didn’t deserve it at all.

Viktor smiled.

“Of course.”

End Notes: I'm actually in love with this, it feel perfect to me. but I'm still debating on making it multichaptered I hope you all liked this, it's been a hot minute since I've really written something with so much detail in just descriptions, so I would appreciate any comments <3 hope you all have a lovely day <3333

#arcane #jayvik #jayce talis #viktor #viktor arcane #jayce arcane #arcane fanfiction #post-canon #fix it fic #hurt/comfort #fluff #emotional hurt/comfort #fanfiction

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lavenderstobins · 9 months ago

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Here’s a masterlist of all the Stranger Things fics I’ve posted! Mostly Robin/Nancy and Steve & Robin 💜

Last updated: 09/11/24 | AO3 | Twitter | ☕️ Ko-Fi

🪻Highlights

➤ love will tear us apart Steve & Robin | T | 12k Robin gets Vecna'd. ➤ leave the speaker on and stay Steve & Robin | T | 8.6k | stobin month 2023 Steve and Robin meet in 1984 instead. ➤ through the years we all will be together (if the fates allow) Steve & Robin | T | 19.6k Steve and Robin work on Christmas. Everyone brings a little bit of Christmas to them.

🌿 Multichapter Fics

➤ you're out of touch, i'm out of time Steve & Robin, Robin/Nancy, Steve/Eddie | T | 12/12 | 75.5k Steve and Nancy travel back in time to 1983 and try to fix things.

➤ in the web that is my own, i begin again (WIP) Steve & Robin | T | 6/11 | 32.5k | Spider-Man AU Steve struggles to balance his superhero identity with his regular life.

➤ one more or one less (WIP) Steve & Robin | T | 1/? | 2.5k After Starcourt, Steve realises that Robin's missing.

➤ holding my last breath (WIP) Nancy/Robin | M | 1/12 | 3.6k | Scream AU There's a killer targeting teenagers in Hawkins. After the killer takes the life of one of Nancy's friends, she'll stop at nothing to get justice.

➤ chasing visions of our futures (WIP) Stevie/Eddie, Stevie & Robin, Robin/Nancy | T | 2/7 | 4k Stevie's dead set on nudging Robin and Nancy together. She's not expecting to realise her feelings for Eddie along the way.

➤ separation brings us awfully close Robin/Chrissy, Robin/Nancy, Chrissy/Nancy, Chrissy & Eddie | T | 3/3 | 9.8k Chrissy learns the hard way that Spider-Woman can’t save everyone.

➤ you’re someone (who knows someone i once knew) (WIP) T | 1/3 | 4.4k Steve Harrington dies. Decades later, Dustin Henderson resurrects him. This is not that story. That story’s already been told. No, this is about what comes after.

🍊 Oneshots

➤ you got light in your eyes Steve & Robin | T | 7.2k | Sequel to Out of Touch Steve can't stop thinking about what Mr. Hauser had told him about Robin.

➤ the pleasure, the privilege is mine Steve & Robin | T | 7.6k Robin won’t let Steve go alone. Not even at the end of the world.

➤ share the same space for a minute or two Robin/Nancy | G | 2.4k Nancy isn’t yet sure what to do with herself now that the world isn’t ending. Robin helps.

➤ the future's unwritten, the past is a corridor Nancy & Eddie, Steve & Robin, Robin/Nancy, Steve/Eddie | T | 26.3k Robin and Nancy have just moved into their new house with their son, next door to Steve, Eddie and their daughter.

➤ guess i'm a coward (i just want to feel alright) Steve/Eddie, Eddie & everyone | T | 7.2k When the bats attack, Eddie sticks to the plan, and he runs, and he lives. He thinks, maybe, that he’ll hate himself forever for it.

➤ cracks in your ceiling Robin/Nancy | T | 9.9k Nancy has a movie night with friends, invents a new disease, and quite possibly has her life ruined by Sigourney Weaver.

➤ in war, in peace, in death Steve/Eddie, Steve & Robin, Robin/Nancy | T | 7.8k Steve realises Robin's alive, trapped in the Fade. (A Dragon Age AU)

➤ now i've found a real love Robin/Nancy, Nancy & Mike | T | 8.7k Nancy Wheeler deserves a good Christmas. In fact, they all do.

➤ used to be you but now it's you and me Steve & Robin | T | 2.4k | twin stars stobin zine contribution It's only natural to cry on your birthday.

➤ 'cause i'm gonna be free and i'm gonna be fine Steve & Robin | T | 7.5k Two decades after the Upside Down closes for good, Steve's daughter goes viral on TikTok, and things quickly escalate from there.

➤ this dream isn't feeling sweet Lucas & Robin, Robin/Vickie | T | 13.1k Lucas finds himself struggling at the post-championship game party.

➤ there’s joy not far from here (i know there is) Steve & Robin, Steve & Robin & the Party | T | 3.7k Steve, Robin and the party have an important discussion about homophobia.

➤ HOW TO SURVIVE THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE: A GUIDE BY DUSTIN HENDERSON Dustin & everyone | G | 2.5k Dustin's guide to the apocalypse.

➤ this is how we'll dance Steve & Robin & Eddie, minor Robin/Carol, Steve & Dustin | T | 1.8k Prom night 1985 from Robin, Eddie and Steve's perspectives.

➤ hold onto hope if you got it Wayne & Eddie, Wayne & Everyone | G | 2k When the trailer park is destroyed, Wayne loses his mug collection of twenty years. Eddie decides this is unacceptable and must be rectified.

➤ you will surely be the death of me Steve & Robin, Steve & Robin & the Party | G | 4.4k When Eddie plans to go out of town, Robin and Steve finally agree to play a D&D campaign, on the following conditions: 1) it’s one session, and 2) Robin’s the DM.

➤ life among the dead Nancy & Robin & Steve, Robin/Nancy | T | 1.3k A Pushing Daisies AU in which Nancy can resurrect the dead.

➤ tonight i'll dream while i’m in bed Robin & Steve, minor Robin/Nancy | G | 4.1k Steve and Robin met, once, long before Scoops Ahoy and Starcourt Mall.

➤ sing me to sleep Robin & Steve & Nancy | T | 1.5k Nancy goes searching for Robin in the Upside Down after Steve dies.

➤ caught up in the motion Robin/Nancy, Robin & Steve, Robin & the Party | T | 3.2k Robin accidentally wears Nancy's Emerson t-shirt to work. Problem is, nobody apart from Steve knows that they're dating.

➤ kiss and (don't) tell Steve/Eddie, Eddie & the Party | T | 1.8k Eddie has a hickey. The party try to figure out who gave it to him.

🩵 Josieverse

➤ bright as the morning sun Steve & Robin & Josie | G | 1.4k | stobin month 2024 A slice-of-life oneshot revolving around Robin, Steve and Josie.

➤ here's to my future (here's to my yesterday) Steve & Robin & Eddie | T | 3.3k Robin’s three months pregnant and still only two people know. They’ve been invited to Dustin’s Halloween party, though. She can keep it a secret. Probably.

➤ all for freedom and for pleasure Steve & Josie & Eddie | G | 0.8k Eddie discovers that Robin’s daughter has learnt how to blackmail people.

➤ what you fear the most Steve & Robin & Josie | G | 1k Steve comes home to find Robin and her daughter Josie seemingly trapped.

➤ somebody that you used to know Robin/Valerie, Steve & Robin | M | 1.9k Before Josie was born—before everything changed—Robin had had something with Valerie. Nothing serious, nothing labelled, but it mattered all the same.

➤ when you touch the stars, hold my hand Steve & Robin & Josie | T | 3.3k Josie is confused about why she doesn’t have a dad.

🌹 Smut fics

➤ if this feeling flows both ways Robin/Nancy | E | 9.1k Nancy accidentally receives a sext from Robin and can’t stop thinking about it.

➤ i’d suffer hell if you’d tell me Robin/Nancy | E | 8.8k It’s been a while since Nancy’s had time alone with Robin. She intends to make the most of it.

🌸 Rarepairs

➤ every time it rains Steve/Kali | G | 1.6k Kali wouldn't class herself as someone fond of walks, but she is fond of Steve.

➤ neck full of mockingbirds (WIP) Robin/Carol | E | 9/? | 7.5k Carol and Robin, from start to end.

➤ i wanna be adored Nancy/Eden | G | 1.9k Nancy's lonely. Eden's there.

#robin buckley #nancy wheeler #steve harrington #platonic stobin #stobin #ronance #steddie #stranger things #eddie munson #sapphirerays #lavenderstobins #lesbianancy #my fics #ao3 masterlist #ao3 writer #st fic #st fanfic

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bwat5-blog · 23 days ago

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Another Look at Jinx

**Spoilers for all of Arcane**

*Disclaimer- Jinx is an immensely complicated character with mental health playing a big part of who she is. I am in no way a mental health professional, or in any sense qualified to speak to a condition she may or may not be dealing with, or how that should be handled. I am just a huge fan of the show discussing one of its best and most interesting people*

So, why talk about Jinx? She has been lauded as many peoples favorite character, she is the subject of a titanic amount of fan art, fan fiction and so on. Her death (clearly alive but not the point) in the moment devastated the entire fan base to a degree not seen since the Red Wedding. If you have seen anything else I've written about, I am primarily focusing on some of the most fantastic bits of this story that it really seems like people are misinterpreting or missing. For this one, I am referring to what I can only think to call the "Smol-beanification" of Jinx.

Now let me start by saying this. I am NOT judging anyone for loving this character for any reason. Because while I believe all of the things I am about to cover are being underappreciated and undervalued, if you love this character because she is funny and cute and witty, and you like her music and her blue hair and her attitude, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. MY concern is that this fan-base swung really wide into crazy town after Act 3. So I am championing an understanding of just what a gift we were given with this show.

As far as I'm concerned there are 4 topics that need exploration regarding this character:

Powder's childhood leading to birth of Jinx

Relationship to Silco and its impact

Relationship to Vi and its impact

Journey to self-acceptance as Jinx

Powder's Childhood, and the birth of Jinx:

When we first meet Powder she is with her sister on the unification bridge, witnessing the fighting that claimed her birth parents lives. This is a horrific situation that really sets the tone from the beginning and lets us know these kids DO NOT have it easy.

It doesn't take away from the hardships of every day life in the undercity. But, being taken in by Vander gives her and Vi a chance at a peaceful life for a short time and we see how she flourished:

She is immensely clever building various gadgets and being noted as the one who fixes their shooting range.

Has a loving relationship with Vi and looks up to her.

Is loyal and wants to fight for her family.

We do also see a hint at the trauma lurking in her. When Vi (after being lectured on her responsibility to keep Powder safe, and seeing how dangerous the people who took Vander really are) tells powder to stay home she has a severe panic attack. Given everything this poor child has been through I don't blame her. But it is important to note the seeds are already planted for what's to come. Clearly demonstrating her terror at being left by herself and losing her loved ones.

The End of Powder-

We all know what happens here so I won't point-by-point it. But the primary event here is the death of Milo, Clagger, Vander and as far as Powder knows, Vi (after they have the heartbreaking confrontation over Vander's body). In a matter of seconds this terrified, wounded little girl goes from thinking she saved her family to having lost everyone, and believing her sister blames her (Not Vi's fault either but I'm here for Powder/Jinx this time, see my Vi post if you care) for it as well as later believing her sister to be dead. Her fear of being left behind and all alone is violently and brutally made real in the worst way. Until Silco comes. He kneels down over a broken, terrified, angry Powder, and leaves with Jinx.

Relationship with Silco and its impact:

Where a life with Vander offered Powder a brief few years of piece, a life with other side of the coin (Silco) takes the frightened child in Power and breaks her down until all that's left is Jinx. Violence, revenge and intimidation take the place of Love, support and peace. Now, it should be said, I believe Silco loves Jinx as a daughter in the best way he knows how. But he himself is a broken man (touched on this in another post). And his role in Jinx's life is not to her benefit:

Takes her guilt, rage, fear and pain and instead of trying to help her heal, he teaches her to weaponize it

Promised Felicia to make a better Zaun for her children, and was fully prepared to murder them both.

Despite knowing her immense guilt over the loss of her family, upon learning Vi is in fact alive, he lies to Jinx about it, and immediately moves to try and kill Vi or at least discredit her. Someone pointed out on another of my posts that this is probably due to his fear of losing Jinx himself which I believe.

Years of being raised as his daughter leave her manic, violent, hallucinating and out of control. She kills several enforcers leading to renewed hostilities from Piltover, almost kills Vi and Caitlyn more than once, almost kills Echo and herself, kills Silco, and Kills 3 piltover council members moments from Zaun achieving independence, and making the dreams of her birth parents, Vander and even Silco himself real.

During the events of her "Dinner Party" Silco aggressively tries to get her to Kill Vi and Caitlyn, denying Vi's attempts to help Jinx reclaim who she was.

In season 2, Jinx even admits that her head has been much quieter since he died. He only appears to her twice, briefly when Isha is taken, and again when Isha is killed. Both times at her lowest points. As far as I am concerned, Silco made Jinx out of the broken and volatile pieces of Powder, unable to understand how he'd harmed her.

Relationship with Vi and its impact:

Vi and Jinx's relationship is the driving force of the show to me when it comes to the most human aspect of the story. Strip away all the grand disasters, the hex tech, the war, and at is base most raw this show is telling us the story of two sisters driven apart by the darkness of their world until they fight their way back to one another. I have an entire post pertaining to peoples wild and baseless accusations of Vi's character so I will spare you all that tangent again and keep it to my thoughts regarding how Vi and Jinx's relationship impacts her:

Many people attribute Vi's lashing out at Powder as children for the creation of Jinx. This is simplistic and false in terms of it "creating Jinx" but it does matter. That event leads Vi to struggle with the guilt of that incident, focusing on finding Powder and making things right during her terrible years in Stillwater. Therefore when she finds Jinx in the world it is much more difficult for her to see the truth of how her sister has changed and that conflict continues to fracture Jinx's mind as well as their relationship for a time.

Jinx has already been struggling and suffering from the loss of her family, self hate for what she has done, and the feeling of having lost everyone. So when she gets Vi back we see the first thing she feels is worry and shame over who she has become. Then when things go badly and Vi chooses Caitlyn over her (not actually this simple but Jinx is not well) Her conflict and loss go through the roof. "I thought you could love me like you used to.. even though I'm different".

The entire Dinner Party is a war for Jinx's soul it seems. Jinx tries to make it out like its all Vi's choice. She blames Vi for making Jinx but says all she has to do is "Make Caitlyn Go Away" and Vi can "Have Powder Back". But of course.. its not that simple. As Powder would never do something like this. Powder has been gone a long time but this conflict raging in Jinx pushes her until finally she does something she can't take back and attacks the council chamber

Jinx's journey to self acceptance:

Season two sees the breaking of "Jinx" as we know her and the re-forging of her after the long brutal journey to allow herself to move forward. In the beginning she has given up. She wants to die. She doesn't care. She wants to watch it all burn and no longer sees the point. Then little by little, reasons to live start to creep back in and she starts to reclaim her will through brutal trials and heartbreak and victory.

Isha- Isha is undoubtedly the driving factor in Jinx's salvation. Even though her story ends in tragedy little by little she brings joy and a sense of responsibility into Jinx's life impacting all areas. Even though its to protect Jinx from Vi Isha is the reason both fights between the sisters end before they go too far. She also give Jinx a sense of what Vi felt and went through caring for a younger girl (sadly probably including realizing why Vi left her at home all those years ago when Isha dies), and she shows Vi that Jinx really is changing. That manic, aggressive uncontrolled violence is being tempered and restrained.

Vander- The reveal of Warwick/Vander (while being a twist most of us saw coming) was another huge device in terms of Jinx's redemption. It is because of her discovery of Vander that Jinx makes the first move in reuniting with Vi (which also saves Vi from her downward spiral).And their mission to save Vander however ill-fated, brings Vi and Jinx together for the first time since Vi got out of prison and met the person her sister had become. You see in that moment at the end of "Blisters and Bedrock" she is truly terrified that by getting Vi to trust her she has killed her, only to be beckoned by her older sister into a hug because she.. Jinx.. has reunited their family.

Vi- The sisters could not start off the season in more opposite camps. Vi is after Jinx to end her life for what she has done, and Jinx intends the same for Vi after seeing her in uniform. But is only through their reconnection and learning to trust each-other again that they both really start to heal and move forward. Vi completely believes in Jinx by the end which Jinx even says aloud in her prison cell. Even though its at her lowest point and she is leaving to end her life Jinx realizes and tells Vi that Vi deserves to be happy. She deserves to know love and peace with Caitlyn and stop feeling guilty. Think about and compare that to Jinx from season 1, blaming Vi and telling her if she will kill Caitlyn she can have powder back.

Caitlyn- the connection between Caitlyn and Jinx is not being discussed enough. They are linked. They both lose their parents, they are both taken in by an older, cleverer surrogate who weaponizes their grief and pain, they are both warped into something darker and more violent than they started, and they both have to learn to walk away, to break the cycle and stop hating.

Finally, after almost ending her life and being brought around by Echo Jinx, fully realized, fully accepting of herself leads the undercity in saving the day. After so much hostility and pain she tells Vi they will always be together (side note- pain and tears) and in the end, appears to sacrifice herself for the older sister she knew would never give up on her, smiling and at peace.

Conclusion- I am sorry yall. I know this is so long. Jinx is an immensely complex character who goes through so much. But I hope I communicated my feeling that she is worthy of so much more appreciation than as the "Silly little funny crazy girl". She starts life as a child in a world of trauma and pain, and even though she is broken down and remade, does terrible things and causes so much pain, through the interactions with those who love and those who hate her, and through her own realizations, and pain, and struggle, she ends the schism in her soul and finds the road to make a life for herself, away from the pain and darkness of who she was before.

#vi and jinx #arcane season 2 spoilers #jinx arcane #arcane season 1 #arcane season 2 #powder

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