#I've rewatched this movie more times than i expected myself to

[catacatacatcat]

i rooted for no one but cardinal vincent benitez and sister agnes to have a semi-decent time at the conclave but cardinal lawrence and his visible desire to end it all in every scene he's in has captivated me

[queervegancryptid]

I just rewatched the last two episodes of Revolutionary Girl Utena. I just suddenly had a burning desire to see that in particular, and fortunately, it's on YouTube, the whole series.

And I gotta say, it hits differently now. It was always a powerful show, and the ending in particular is beautiful and kinda makes the show, in my opinion. I adored it immediately, and I'm really happy they had 39 episodes as opposed to maybe a dozen, which is how it would be if it were made today. You absolutely could make it today, though; the beautiful and terrible thing is, it actually is timeless in a lot of ways. And rewatching the ending episodes in particular now, like I said, it hits differently.

I've seen it at least a couple dozen times, but I don't think I've ever cried at it that much before. I guess maybe that's part of growing up. I really want to write about it, actually. It haunts me, in a good but lately very painful way.

This is about the political situation, if that's not clear. But it's about a lot more than just who the president is. It's about the lies people tell themselves, how people in power gaslight others into doing their dirty work for them, and yes, how patriarchy fucks things up for literally everyone but a fraction of a percentage of the population who have a vested interest in promoting it.

It's a good metaphor for a big part of what's going on in terms of political and social attitudes. One thing I don't see talked about much is the scene where the student council are doing their spiel, riding up the elevator together one last time. They each put a rose in a vase on the table. As they go in, they are shown to be different colors, based on each person's signature color. After Touga puts a white rose in, for Utena, the vase is shown again. Now, all the roses look the same.*

The meaning, I think, is two-fold. First, all of them being there together to hold a kind of vigil for Utena as she fights Akio unites them. They entered as individuals, but as long as Utena is fighting in this final duel, they're together, so the old differences and divisions don't matter.

Second, I feel like it should be considered along with the planetarium and Akio's tendency towards manipulation. That is to say, maybe all the roses are actually the same color, but his planetarium makes them look different; in the same way, his manipulative actions can't work without sowing division between people and pitting them against each other, and against their own interests. He literally gaslights everyone; the social hierarchy in terms of the school's nobility class (the student council) is itself a manipulation designed to keep them competitive with each other rather than being cooperative towards their shared best interests. Or like. Actually doing student council stuff.

Sound familiar? There's a lot more I want to say, but I need to get my thoughts in order. Anyway, I haven't rewatched the movie in a long time, but I'm guessing that will hit me a little differently now, too. I really don't like the voices in the dub, which is all I have access to streaming. But life finds a way, as the saying goes.

Expect more Utena-based posting in the near future as I distract myself from the things I can't control that are scaring me. But as always, if it's political, I try to tag it with "nik gets political" and 'us politics" if relevant, so people can block those tags if they want to.

* I posted this without that sentence, which really clarifies my point lol sorry

[yellowloid]

ten people i'd like to get to know better

i was tagged by @uhbasicallyjustmilex @arcticshadowturtles @rearviewghost - thank you so much!! 💖

last song: girl, so confusing - charli xcx feat. lorde

favourite colour: purple and black 💜🖤 all shades of purple are just my favourite but especially lilac which i made my whole personality ever since i was like 13

last book: currently reading normal people by sally rooney, i'm really enjoying it so far! can't wait to catch up with the tv show, i've heard very positive reviews of it + i love daisy edgar jones' and paul mescal's on-screen chemistry, plus i miss ireland sm and the book is continuously feeding my dublin blues </3

last movie: i honestly can't remember bc i don't watch that many movies (i'm more of a tv show girlie) but it was probably visconti's 'death in venice' after reading the short novel - thomas mann is one of my favourite authors and the movie perfectly captured the languidly eerie atmosphere of the book

last tv show: tim burton's wednesday! i purposely avoided it back when it came out bc everyone was talking about it and you know how it goes, the more people talk about smth the less i feel the desire to watch it lmao. but then last month i was in the mood for smth with a spooky autumn vibe that was also kinda light, so i decided to give it a chance and it was a really nice surprise! i wasn't expecting to like it so much but i found it really entertaining, i loved jenna ortega's portrayal of wednesday and i also found her and enid so cute (GOD i hope they make wenclair canon in s2 it'd be so good)

sweet/spicy/savoury: savoury all the way, but after that then also a sweet treat

relationship status: blessedly single and also the dating scene is so atrocious i'd rather put my hand in a blender than open tinder ever again

last thing i googled: t.s. eliot's poem 'the naming of cats' because i remembered i had it saved somewhere but couldn't find it so i just looked it up - it's so silly i love it

current obsessions:

am/tlsp as always - i  finished writing a very long chapter of my wip the other day and even tho it was very angsty i'm so happy i finally finished it because i'd been bogged down in a slump for quite some time and i'm just so glad i managed to pull myself out of it. just a couple of chapters left and then the fic will be completely written :')

taylor swift as always - last couple of days i've been losing my mind over her new surprise songs outfits specifically. i see. i see it all so clearly

garrett and andrew (my favourite youtubers along with dan and phil): i LOVED the new spooky video and ugh every single one of their videos has the power to become a comfort video to me

bungo stray dogs and soukoku in particular - i watched the anime for the first time back at the start of 2020, then i rewatched it around this time last year and i'm afraid ever since then it's been living in my mind rent free, especially these two chaotic bitter exes </3 i'm on volume 18 of the manga but i need to catch up asap!!

looking forward to: having dinner with my friends on saturday night, the new bsd chapter at the start of november, christmas time, planning another trip with the girls <3 also having a break (isn't going to happen soon unfortunately) and getting some quality SLEEP i'm so tired

tagging: @alexturner @mrschwartz @reconciledviolence729 @hesterias @partynthem @depressedraisin @glorious-blackout @1llusionmachine and anyone who wants to do it 🫶

[emotionallychargedtowel]

Desert Hearts rewatch notes

Desert Hearts (1985) is one of my favorite movies, but as with most of my favorites, I've gone quite a while without seeing it at times. I put it on the other day for the first time in years and took some screenshots in the hope that I might get some folks on here to give it a try that haven't, or at least bring back some memories for those who’ve seen it before. Then, when I sat down to post the images, I found I had more to say than I realized.

This was my first time watching this movie since I got into the whole BL/QL genre and I was curious to see if it would seem any different to me after a period of being more immersed in queer stories than usual. Mostly it swept me up into its own world, something this film is really good at. But I did find myself thinking at times about how aspects of it mapped onto QL tropes and more general romance tropes. I also couldn't help but see some parallels to the actual lived experiences of myself and people I know.

Queer romance tropes in Desert Hearts

Three tropes stood out at me that I've run into in the QL world, some of which I've seen in hetero romance settings as well.

Fish out of water - Vivian goes from her life as an academic in New York City to staying at a ranch outside Reno in pursuit of a "quick" divorce. (Having to spend six weeks in a strange place in order to get a divorce was "quick" by 1959 standards.) Helen Shaver, who played Vivian, points out in a featurette included with the Criterion version of the movie that Vivian has been living a very cerebral life, living inside her own head while cutting herself off from her body from the neck down. This radical change of scenery is exactly what she needs to be able to open up to something different.

There’s a similar dynamic at play in hetero fish-out-of-water romances. But I find this trope a lot more interesting in a queer context. Queer identities have a more complex relationship to difference. Among other things, characters who seem to be at home in the environment of the story often turn out to be alienated from it due to others’ perceptions of their sexuality.

Age gap (with the younger person pursuing) - Cay, who is ten years Vivian's junior, is definitely the pursuer here. This isn't a specifically queer trope per se, but it can manifest in some specific ways in queer love stories.

LGBTQ+ identity can put people on unusual timelines in their lives. (This is an idea I first ran into in a book by Jack Halberstam in undergrad.) Sometimes this means being in a more "youthful" mode later in life than cishet people. Other times it means being a particular kind of late bloomer. And so on. So with life stages not conforming to typical expectations, what does it mean to love someone you have a significant age difference with?

In the case of Vivian and Cay, Vivian may be older, but Cay is poised to initiate her into practices and feelings that are pretty familiar for Cay and totally, mind-blowingly new to Vivian. This creates a kind of role reversal. At the same time, Cay has never felt this way about a partner before, so in many ways, their relationship is causing her to have some new and intense experiences as well.

The thing where a character figures out their sexuality for the first time because their feelings toward a love interest act as a catalyst - This is certainly a trope that comes up in stories about queer romance, but it's more debatable whether it's a queer trope in the sense of a trope that is used by and resonates with queer people. I guess I'd say the theme comes up in different ways when a story is very geared toward the "straight gaze" and when it's more authentically queer. With the "straight gaze" version you get things like "gay for you." With more authentic versions, well, I don't think I've noticed many commonalities there. But I will always defend the use of this trope when it's done well in a way that centers queer experience, if only because falling for a specific person is exactly what forced me to come to terms with my own sexuality.

Side note: Speaking of coming to terms with my sexuality, it really is an indication of how deeply in denial I was about my bisexuality in college that seeing this movie for a class didn't help me figure it out. I was deeply affected by it and fixated on it for weeks after seeing it, but it didn't get through the thick shell of obliviousness I had built up around myself.

A connection to personal experience

There are quite a few ways that Desert Hearts resonates with my own experience but one really stood out to me this time around. [Spoilers ahead.] When Cay goes to see Vivian at the hotel where she’s staying after she leaves the ranch, she goes for a last-ditch, Hail Mary move—she takes off her clothes and climbs into Vivian’s bed. At first Vivian tells her to leave, but then she softens a bit, clearly interested but conflicted. Then this moment happens.

I related to this so much. When I fell in love with a someone who was (at that time) presenting as a woman and it started to look like I might actually have a chance, I had so much anxiety about whether and how I could be intimate with my crush and whether I’d be able to “perform” decently. It turns out, as we learned when we compared notes sometime later, we had each had the same worry and we’d both bought an instructional book about lesbian sex (I think it may even have been the exact same book!).

I think part of my anxiety back then stemmed from the prospect of starting from scratch with a new set of practices and skills after being acclimated to sex with men. It made me feel like I was off balance. But when I actually did get close to my crush, another, much more pleasant side to my inexperience came up. It turned out that not having a familiar script for what to do made me much more present and gave me a sense of freedom. I remember thinking that it was like going from traveling down the same old route to exploring a new place that we had to write our own maps for. And that was pretty exhilarating.

Soon after that relationship happened, I read Zami: A New Spelling of My Name by Audre Lorde. There was a passage where Lorde described something very similar from her own life. In this passage, she’s reflecting after her first sexual encounter with a woman after having a similar set of anxieties.

So this was what I had been so afraid of not doing properly. How ridiculous and far away those fears seemed now, as if loving were some task outside of myself, rather than simply reaching out and letting my own desire guide me. It was all so simple.

She’s so amazing at evoking these feelings, isn’t she?

I can’t think of any other places I’ve seen this type of experience discussed besides these two. (I’m pretty sure others exist, but the fact that I haven’t come across them suggests there aren’t very many.) There are plenty of stories out there about hetero sex performance anxiety and its eventual resolution, but I think the queer version of this kind of learning has some big inherent differences that go way beyond the genders of partners being different. So it’s really nice to see it come up here, and be handled in such a sweet way.

In case you’re wondering, once Vivian is able to “let her own desire guide her,” in Lorde’s words, she also finds that her fears were misplaced. The resulting love scene is beautifully executed even by current standards. It’s even more remarkable to see it in a film that was released in 1985. It’s equally remarkable that this sex scene was shown in rather explicit detail.

about, by, and/or for?

I'm also thinking about this movie in terms of the for/by/about queers typology that @wen-kexing-apologist came up with a while back. In my estimation, Desert Hearts belongs right in the center of WKA's Venn diagram. It's about queers, of course. I'd also place it in the "by queers" category. The director, Donna Deitch, who also co-wrote the screenplay, is an out lesbian. It's not clear whether the other co-screenwriter was queer. Her personal life was mysterious enough that it seems like a definite possibility. And the movie is based (somewhat loosely) on a novel by Jane Rule, who was also an out lesbian and whose work as a writer was very focused on lesbian characters.

I'd also consider this movie to be "for queers." It was marketed to a wider audience, of course. But as I watched some of the bonus material and looked at writing about the movie, I saw a lot of evidence that Deitch made the film for her community and they embraced it.

Shaver had a really lovely story in the featurette I watched about this. I forget the exact nature of it, but she described how she attended some kind of event with Deitch and Charbonneau where the audience was full of queer women who gave them an incredibly long standing ovation that she found very moving and helped her see how impactful the film had been.

I’m also sure Deitch had queer viewers in mind (at least in part) when she set out to fill a glaring gap in Sapphic representation. In an interview with AfterEllen, Deitch said, “My goal was to make a lesbian love story that did not end in a bisexual love triangle or a suicide. Because that’s all that had been made at the time I set out to make Desert Hearts.” (Note: I’m not linking due to transphobia concerns regarding that site but folks should be able to find it easily if they look.)

In summary…

If you haven’t seen Desert Hearts yet I really can’t recommend it highly enough.

(And yes, that’s Denise Crosby from Star Trek: The Next Generation sitting beside Jeffrey Tambor.)

[burningvelvet]

Quickly and poorly reviewing and ranking adaptations of Jane Eyre (1996, 1997, 2006, 2011) by their pros and cons:

1996 pros:

Best fire scene, easily. It actually gave me that excited feeling that good cinema gives a person. Much of the cinematic art was enjoyable altogether, including the costumes.

This film probably has ond of the best Bertha's in my opinion. She's truly sympathetic, beautiful, and fierce. probably tied for my favorite Bertha actress with 2006. She and Poole are given little time in the story, however.

Most adaptations shit on St. John. Here, that isn't the case. What little time he has is spent in making him much more appealing than I've ever seen him, both physically and characteristically. I like this, because many forget that Jane did love him in her way, and he is supposed to be attractive and nice despite his zealotism.

1996 has the best Adèle, which is amazing for me as a big Adèle fan. There is more focus on her and her relationships with Jane/Rochester. I particularly love the scene where J draws R and Adèle tries to play cupid a little, and when Adèle is offended when the ladies insult Jane.

Best Lowood plot by far. This is the first time I've been able to stand the Young Jane scenes, and little time was devoted to her early life with the Reeds, just enough to let us know she was abused. I like this choice. The young actresses playing Jane and Helen were the best and most rebelious I've seen yet. Their hair cutting scene brought tears to my eyes, which rarely ever happens for me.

Good Blanche plotline. I absolutely love the cinematography/aesthetic & set design.

1996 cons:

the actors are individually endearing in some ways (the scene of Jane and the mirror is particularly touching, as is their reunion). However, The biggest downside to this adaptation is that the chemistry between Jane and Rochester was lacking in my opinion. this is particularly notable in their meeting scene and first proposal scene.

William Hurt is a fantastic actor, and he's likeable, but he's not my favorite Rochester ever. He's alright. On a rewatch I could see myself warming to him more.

I love Charlotte Gainsbourg more for her music than her acting. Granted, she was young here like Jane is supposed to be, so I do not blame her. Visually, aside from her height, I can absolutely see her as Jane. As the film went on I warmed to her acting style; Jane Eyre is a hard role to perform due to her inwardness. I don't think she was horrible, but Anna Paquin (of later True Blood fame) as Young Jane Eyre somewhat outshined Gainsbourg.

I was disappointed in Adèle being sent away to school before the disaster and her not coming back in the end (why couldn't they have had her running with Pilot in the landscape shot!!!).

1997 pros:

Maybe the most accurate Jane and Rochester. I wasn't expecting to like him at all but he blew me away. excellent chemistry between the actors. The dancing scene was very captivating, as was the scene with him jumping from the walkway, their outdoor talks, him chasing her down the stairs — really, I was impressed, because I thought I'd hate this film. Like in the novel and in 96, both actors are a bit conventionally unattractive (well, compared to 11 and to some extent 06) - and like them, the characters grow on you.

BEST ST. JOHN (although 2006 has the best Rivers sisters) - St. John is described as being nice though serious, and looking like a statue of a Greek God with all the coldness AND beauty - and this movie is the only one who relatively understood that assignment (96 came close emphasizing his niceness). Most adaptations adapt his coldness but not his conventional Eurocentric good looks, which not only symbolize his colonizer attribute but also his appeal to Jane and the others. It's also important to have a conventionally handsome actor play St. John just as it's important to have a conventionally less attractive Jane Eyre because one theme of the novel is the critique of Victorian physiognomy & beauty; Jane/Rochester being unconventionally attractive is a contrast to Bertha, St. John, Blanche, Georgiana being attractive, so I think this element is not inconsequential. The difficult part is that beauty is highly subjective, so relying on conventional standards is key, as is the reminder that Victorian standards were a bit different from our own.

good Lowood plotline, good Gateshead plotline, fantastic Adèle with lots of adorableness & miraculous though OOC bonding between her and Rochester, fantastic costuming (though I don't know about accuracy), good Blanche plotline overall. Probably my favorite Bertha plotline for being sufficiently creepy.

1997 cons:

this isn't really a con for me but many people may dislike 97 Rochester for being passionate to the point of coming off crazy, and physical domineering as when he grabs Jane when she tries to leave — however, this does kind of fit for canonical Rochester & I don't mind it since he's supposed to be that way, but this is still arguably a con nevertheless. he does come off as too forward but i get they were trying to capture the whole overpassionate thing. it does come off as a little more toxic than other depictions perhaps!

I have very few complaints overall. I don't think the chemistry is as appealing as 2006, but it is accurate. I wish there was more Adèle, but you can't have everything.

The posters are bad and make the actors look worse than they are which subsequently turns people away. I think 1996 was marketed a bit better but that 2006 also suffers from bad poster syndrome which had an effect on me also. Presentation is important; marketing and advertising are also important in cinema. The aesthetic isn't as good as 1996 although I don't think the visuals are bad overall.

Jane is a little dissociative seeming, which can be off-putting for myself and other viewers I assume, but to be fair she is described as being like a weird little elf creature in the book, and the actress plays this very well, actually looking quite ill when Rochester asks if she is.

2006 pros:

Best chemistry between Jane/Rochester by far and for this reason will always be my favorite because it actually made me fall in love with Rochester in the end though I didn't like his portrayal at all at first (that's power! — and my love for this Rochester should arguably be a con for the sake of my sanity and pride). best Rochester imo and a fantastic Jane. I love love love the way they did the Rochester storytime flashbacks and fleshed out his character as a result.

Best and most enjoyable Blanche Ingram plotline by far (although no one likes the lack of Rochester-in-drag, the party scenes & insertion of the twin flame theory was delightful).

some of the best dialogue, fantastic Adèle plotline, good Bertha plotline, best Pilot, best Rosamond, good costuming, good sets/locations (the fairytale ambience of Jane walking outside before meeting Rochester! Rochester's weird study!), I like the extra focus placed on themes such as nature/genetics/science, religion, travel, sexuality, etc.

2006 cons:

I dislike the way they did the Lowood and Gateshead plots, and although the Rivers sisters were good, I resent their St. John plotline for the most part. I disliked the lack of mystery surrounding Bertha; I think they made it way too obvious & not creepy enough, especially in showing her perspective from the window and giving her lines (one line, calling Jane a whore in Spanish) which no other adaptation does. I was sorely bored before and after Thornfield and only really revived when she got back to Ferndean (although Jane's flashbacks and some of the St. John plotline [the references to love, reminding us of her inner thoughts of Rochester] kept me alive). I suppose there were prices to pay for the excellence of the Jane and Rochester moments. - in comparison these seem like small prices, but still!

2011 pros:

deciding to go with a non-linear structure was a fantastic choice though I was skeptical of it at first, good St. John plotline for the most part & which they put emphasis on, really fantastic Jane with a lot of good fierce moments & lines, maybe the best Gateshead plotline including Mrs. Reed & the Red Room scene (although the lack of red was disappointing, and the lack of explanation for the chimney monster is conflicting – was it all in her head?), good young Jane, one of the best Richard Masons, star-studded cast, good dialogue, maybe the best costuming, Aesthetic™️

2011 cons:

least favorite adele (not insulting the child actress, this is the fault of the writers/directors)

— this is where i call security to protect me from an onslaught of jane eyre 2011 fans here on tumblr. alright, maybe i should watch it again — but i was expecting a lot more. particularly from michael fassbender as mr. rochester. probably my least favorite rochester by far & the least sympathetic. this rochester captures the dark and dangerous part of him but imo not so much the higher feelings that define him. the lack of humour & lack of unrepressed passion/drama/rage is noticeable - rochester isn't supposed to be quiet; as toby stephens (2006) said in an interview, rochester never shuts up in the book, he's really too eccentric to even be adapted accurately; he has to be toned down to be realistic, but here he's muted too far. - i felt like mia was carrying all of their scenes on her back & that the chemistry really rested on her primarily.

Cinematography-wise, there are some gems in the stills (famous hand holding gif), but I dislike the overall muted palette of the film; many will think this suits the tone and in some ways I agree, however, I will always prefer color and dislike the epidemic of desaturation we've seen so often in 21st century cinema. For this reason, 96, 97, 06 all triumph against 2011 aesthetically for me personally, although I still recognize some of the artistry of 2011, it is not my preference.

My overall ranking: 2006 (primarily for Jane/Rochester), 1997 (excellent overall), 1996 (good but flawed), 2011 (I tried but overall did not enjoy it).

[olderthannetfic]

I've done some reading challenges before and I think they can be fun if they have a purpose: for instance, something like the Read Harder challenge, ones that encourage you to read from different genres or read more diverse books, etc. I have a sort of evergreen challenge where I encourage myself to read more books written by authors from different countries, and keep a spreadsheet of which countries I've "read." (I also do this with other kinds of entertainment like movies.) But it's definitely true that some of them just seem to be for the gimmick and aesthetic, and for people who prize quantity over quality of reading in a sort of commodity-fetishism (as they're prizing books as markers of intelligence over the actual experience of learning and expanding your world via reading). Like when the challenges start to be things like "read a book with an orange cover" that's where I start to roll my eyes a bit, haha.

I will say that while I try not to be a snob about reading, it does drive me nuts when I've had people lord over how many more books they've read or how many more pages when they're reading beach reads and YA and other easily digestible stuff whereas I'm reading stuff that is heavier. One time when I was working some crappy minimum-wage job in college, I was reading this big omnibus of all Jane Austen's works (because I was taking a class on her where I was required to read those, not that I wouldn't read Austen otherwise lol) on my break, and one of the other employees asked me how many pages it was and I answered and he was like "pfft, that's nothing, I read all the Harry Potter books in a week and they're more than that!" And I wanted to be like.... yeah, me too, dipshit. I mean, I didn't literally read them in one week, but when each one came out, I devoured it within a day or two like a lot of people did, despite it being 800 pages. Because Rowling's prose is really easy to gobble up like that. Not that Austen is impenetrable or anything (I don't think she is and I think that's precisely why she remains so evergreen popular), but she does require more effort than *that*, particularly when you're reading her work for a literature class where you're expected to write a paper analyzing it, so you want to linger to make sure you really deeply understand it.

I've read academic monographs that were 150 pages long that took me weeks to get through, and I've read 800-page bestsellers that I ripped through in a few days. Pure page length does not determine how long it takes to actually read something. I mean.... in fandom we should all be aware of this, how many of us have devoured some 100k fic in a night or two? As someone who has written some of those academic monographs myself and therefore is familiar with how word count tends to relate to book page length, I can verify for you that that is the equivalent of devouring a novel in the same time frame. But it's a lot easier to do that when you're reading relatively invisible prose and are invested in your OTP getting together (or whatever) vs. if you're trying to digest someone's very dry and convoluted argument about Foucault.

--

I just read all of Scum Villain in about five minutes, yeah. And it was great, but nothing to brag about as an achievement.

I've got this friend who goes on about reading sooooo fast but then admits to often rereading to catch things that she missed the first time. It came up when I was explaining how seldom I reread or rewatch anything. I tend to remember it far, far too keenly after one time through, and it just doesn't hit the same a second time. I still read pretty fast, but not that fast.

I don't think it's snobby to roll your eyes at people who clearly don't grasp the difference between different difficulties of reading and—this is key—who are trying to wave their dick at you about how great they are. They started it!

The time I do roll my eyes is when people think you should read mega hard prose in order to learn, especially in order to learn vocabulary or get faster at reading. That's not what the science says. (Apparently, the fastest way to improve on that kind of thing is to read mass quantities of faintly hard-for-you stuff, not stuff that's hard hard.) But to learn how to decode confusing arguments? Yes, absolutely.

I do wish people would put a little more effort into unwinding their own tortured syntax on Foucault though.

[lingeronyourhazeleyes]

thanks for your tags on that nowhere boy post! I'm so curious what your thoughts are on the movie. When did you first see it? Are you a John girl? What are your thoughts on Mimi and Julia?

aww thank you for this ask 🥰🥰 (and i'm terribly sorry, i'm gonna leave a wall of text here, cuz I just can't resist the opportunity to yap about my Beatles-related experiences and opinions xd)

first of all, i don't really get why this movie tends to get so much hate (aside from the part where John hits Paui, and i really liked your insight that it was necessary to make the subsequent hugging and crying on each other's shoulders less gay - god i hate you late 2000's), because tbh this is my favourite Beatles biopic. Aaron Taylor-Johnson captures John's whimsical spirit quite well imo and even though Thomas Brodie-Sangster wouldn't have been my first choice for Paul, he's really good at being a charming motherfucker and a lil shit at the same time :D

i think i saw it for the first time in my late teens/early 20s with my mom and her husband, but i didn't pay much attention to the details then (given that i only had a very surface level of Betales-knowledge back then). I rewatched it last November though (in the midst of a full-blown Beatles brainrot).

Am i a John girl? Huh, i guess i'm something that people around here would call a John-coded Paul girlie xd nevertheless I aspire to be a Ringo in the lives of my loved ones

And omg your last question led me very far, but I'll try to be brief (edit: i failed lol) :D so, as i read your notes, i was very surprised that it's considered an anti-Julia and pro-Mimi film (and seeing the points you have raised, now i can totally understand why). For me (even on my first viewing) it was never a Julia vs. Mimi thing. I've read it as a John vs John conflict (and this is the point where i start talking bullshit and/or total banalities. Feel free to correct me or argue with my points :D i always fancy a good argument). I've always seen him as a man with two conflicting sides: one is the whimsical, creative, free but overly emotional (consequently kinda unintegrable (i'm not sure if it's a real word lmao i hope it is :D) into modern western society) side (enabled by Julia), and the other one is the abandoned little boy who only wants to be loved, and is therefore ready (or even needs) to be controlled and steered in "the right direction" by others, hoping that they would not abandon him this way (and this side of him is fed by Mimi in a way in my opinion).

In my reading, both mother figures embodied and enabled one side of John, while actively trying to suppress or outright hurt the other side -- as, I think, John did in his own mind, constantly berating and hurting himself in the process. I thought Julia was so antagonistic (and i guess i was waaay more forgiving of her than i think an average person would be, because unfortunately in many ways her behaviour reminded me of myself), because imo society tends to frown upon overly emotional, somewhat detached and destructive, but free-spirited and creativity-enhancing behaviour, while supporting Mimi's "behave according to unspoken social rules and expectation, don't change the status quo, and suppress your emotions"-mindset, that she represented in the movie and tried to instil in John. (Seeing Mimi handle (and making John handle!!) Uncle George's death with coldness and complete suppression of emotions was just as painful and infuriating for me as the scene where Julia sent John away after all the (sometimes creepily inappropriate) lovebombing.) I have a theory that Paul was so important to John because he not only accepted but straight-up embraced (dare i say served) both sides of him. But probably i just see too much into all this xd

Sorry for the long, messy (and probably borderline meaningless) reply 🫣 i happened to have waaaaaay too many thoughts 😭😭

[persephonesprose]

films and literature and nonsensical thoughts of 2024

the year was full of demons. art was not one of them.

literature that made me understand being human

On Keeping a Notebook by Joan Didion ★★★★★

"We forget all too soon the things we thought we could never forget. We forget the loves and the betrayals alike, forget what we whispered and what we screamed, forget who we were." No one will understand why I need a journal, why I can't go a day without putting my thoughts down on paper, better than Joan herself. I fear forgetting, but I think I fear never having that piece of myself somewhere in the physical world more.

Everything Everything by Nicola Yoon ★★★

Every now and then, reading a YA novel becomes something magical. I don't know why fifteen year old me didn't read this when I was gifted it. But I'm sort of glad to read it as an adult, because of how it views life and risk taking and the act of living.

films to watch at three a.m.

Frances Ha: ★★★★1/2

I watched this and was sent into an existential crisis at 5am. In a good way. The love I have for something so simple to say "it's okay to be where you're at even if life sucks." is unmatched. I'm terrified of growing up because I think I'll do it wrong, but this film taught me to love the mistakes just as much if not more. I could write an essay about this and I probably will.

This Beautiful Fantastic: ★★★1/2

I ended the film in tears. Good ones, but still tears. If there was ever something to show me that love and change are all things that make you so human it's beautiful, then this would be it. But I mainly loved it because it reminded me of my grandpa.

The Greatest Hits: ★★★★

If a movie could devour a heart, this one did exactly that to mine. Grief is that one human emotion I've never allowed myself to feel. And music is the escape that gets me away from it. Until they looped them together. Grief is love and I understand that a lot more now.

Colette: ★★★★

I spent the whole movie rooting for her to murder her husband. And in all honesty she should have been allowed. I knew very little about Claudine, yet after this I want to feast on her works as if they were fine dining. They probably are.

On the Basis of Sex: ★★★1/2

Now more than ever we have to remember what women fought for, the equality and liberation we deserve. The film made a fire burn in my chest. Rage at why we're still fighting the same exact fight decades later.

Good Will Hunting: ★★★★1/2

This film has haunted me for years now, but I've never actually sat down to watch it. I'm glad I did when I was in my twenties. Because this is a film to rewatch when I'm thirty and forty and fifty. I think as time goes on I'll see a different way each time.

The Jane Austen Book Club: ★★★★

Oh the joys of getting to sit and yap about Jane Austen with wine and good friends. Not to mention falling in love. I think films that feel like revisiting a worn out novel instantly hold such an appeal.

Moulin Rouge: ★★★★★

If we didn't have tragedies, how would we understand being human? I've cried to lots of films, have found comfort in the layers of grief. But this one took my breath away. I'm ashamed to say it's taken me too long to finally watch it in full, but I'll never see life the same way after.

albums to play in the kitchen at midnight

On The Inside: Gotts Street Park

Special love to the song Got To Be Good. Would recommend dancing by the fridge light to this.

Songs For No One Vol. 1 & 2: Victoria Bigelow

It's soft and lyrical and invades your soul without even trying. I recommend to be listened to with wine.

The Death of Summer & Other Promises: Etta Marcus

Every song of hers opens me up like I'm getting prepped for an autopsy. She picks at my heart and expects me to be okay afterwards. Definitely 2am existential crisis songs.

[theflixdiaryproject]

"did you say good bye to her? say good bye now." - John Creasy

John Creasy (Denzel Washington), a burned-out ex-CIA operative, takes a job as a bodyguard for a young girl, Pita Ramos (Dakota Fanning), in Mexico City. as Creasy bonds with Pita and begins to heal from his troubled past, tragedy strikes, and he sets out on a relentless path of vengeance to protect her and bring justice.

read my review below (may contain spoilers):

rewatched February 12th, 2024 on netflix

I still remember when this movie came out, everyone talked about Dakota Fanning. she was so young but already had an amazing career. most child actors would play fun, cheery, light-hearted roles, but Dakota always dives into dark, serious themes. watching her share the screen with Denzel Washington here feels like watching two heavyweights. Denzel, of course, is a legend, no doubt about that. his performance here is intense, and I can see the pain, rage, and redemption in his eyes alone. it’s powerful. the plot is exactly what I’d expect from a revenge movie. at first, it starts slow, showing Creasy’s bond with Pita. then, it shifts into brutal, high-energy action. the drama is real, and the vengeance is high. but I have to say, I’ve seen many revenge movies before, so some parts feel repetitive. I understand Creasy’s mission, and I know he won’t stop, but I find myself losing focus during parts of the movie. the bad guys are bad, but I almost don’t care about them enough to stay fully invested.

one thing that stands out is Dakota Fanning’s performance. even at such a young age, she brings so much heart to this movie. there are moments where I can feel her emotions so clearly, it almost hurts. she’s innocent and full of life, and that adds a layer of depth to the story. without her, this movie would just be another action-packed revenge tale. she gives it heart and makes it more than just explosions and gunfights. I enjoyed the movie more the first time I watched it. it was intense and thrilling, and it kept me interested. but when I rewatched it, I realised it didn’t stay with me as much as I thought it would. it’s exciting in the moment, but it doesn’t leave a lasting impression. that being said, Man on Fire does a great job of delivering emotional drama and high-stakes action. it’s not just about the violence; it’s also about Creasy’s inner journey and how he finds purpose again. however, there’s something about it that doesn’t fully grab me. maybe it’s because the plot is predictable, or maybe it’s because I’ve seen similar stories before.

final verdict: I think it was okay/watchable

maturity rating: R-rated genre: action, thriller, drama duration: 2h 26m (146 mins) countries of origin: Switzerland, UK, USA, Mexico language : English, Spanish screenplay: Brian Helgeland based on: Man on Fire novel by A.J Quinnell major cast: Denzel Washington, Dakota Fanning, Christopher Walken, Radha Mitchell

[willtasker]

NYCC 2024: A (Redacted) Review

I had planned out NYCC months ago, back when they announced Hayley Atwell in the spring. Everything else in 2024 had the volume turned down after that announcement. And with time, they also announced some of the cast of Starship Troopers and then Rachael Leigh Cook.

I'm happy to say that everyone was wonderful, glowing even. Some maybe a little more than others but over all, this was by far the best year I had at a convention in terms of people just being... nice.

So foremost is that I overbooked myself. Five cast members from Starship Troopers was at the same table and I'll be damned if I'm gonna let that slip by. I had to go Thursday, as Dina Meyer ((see above)) was only there for one day only. She was an absolute sweetheart, despite trying to duck out to make her plane on time. I almost walked away before they called me back because I forgot to take this photo with her. "Give me some sass" is what I heard in my ear over the deafening crowd and ... well, its not my worst photo but certainly not my favorite either. But she has these huge, chonky glasses I wish she'd kept on for the photos.

Michael Ironside was incredible. I've been a fan of his for decades and despite having a voice like a gravel quarry and that constant sneer painted over his face, he was very funny and very warm. He noticeably perked up when I mentioned his performance in "Crime & Punishment In Suburbia" and how Roger Ebert said it was the best work of his career. He nodded in approval, "I'm glad someone saw that. The director is a a good friend of mine."

Casper Van Dien was ... actually exactly what I suspected. He was standing in front of his table, talking to everyone, pitching the new SST Extermination game. He's high energy, happy to see you, quick with a joke.

Unfortunately, I didn't get a lot of time with either Seth Gilliam or Denise Richards. Seth was on his way out but seemed to be overly kind with everyone there? Does that make sense? Denise was rushing to get out because she had some sort of socialite appointment elsewhere in NYC but she was trying so hard to be accommodating and patient with people. I think she was aware of what her legacy is with men of a certain age. I purposely didn't take too long at her table - it was 7 pm and everyone was tired - and I think she appreciated the fact I didn't make a bad pass at her or stop the line for 5 minutes to show her art I had done in the hopes she'd follow my Instagram (witnessed both of these things happen in real time).

Now on to the main event:

I didn't know what to expect from Hayley. I'd never met anyone who had interacted with her, so I was a little pensive at first. I had brought two photos for her to sign - the one above I had blown up to an egregious size - but it was the other one that rang her bell.

The person running the cashbox passed my photos down and said "Hayley we have some very nice photos from this gentle..."

"This is from Howard's End!" Her eyes popped, a mix of genuine surprise and appreciation behind them.

We talked a little bit about her Margaret Schlegel versus the 1992 movie. She asked me a couple of small questions before we really hit it off on something I wouldn't expect: I told her how I found a lot of American television too "active" and how much comfort I found in rewatching not only Howard's End but just UK television in general. She sized me up quietly before agreeing, telling me she watches the same handful of shows over and over to unwind, as a comfort.

She signed the Howard's End photo first (not pictured here, I've determined it is a little too personal), then the above photo before going back to the first photo with "May I add a quote to this?"

I was left with words in my mouth for a second. I managed to say "Please!" once my brain rebooted and she said "I loved this character so much. And this quote." After we said our goodbyes - she's so effusive, high energy - I quietly found a corner of the convention hall to see she'd written "Only Connect" under her name and I sighed like an old dog sleeping on a cold kitchen floor.

I later had a photo op with her. I look pretty stiff and not my best but I've taken worse photos. She was extremely gentle with everyone in line, I think getting a sense that most everyone was having the same "Holy shit, thats Hayley Atwell" realization.

Finally, and certainly not the least of all...

Rachael Leigh Cook came out an hour late, wearing a cream colored sweater and necklace. Laugh as you must, gentle reader, but I'm absolutely going to my therapist this week to ask why a stranger like herself is so completely nice to everyone (but especially: why is she nice to me). She's the type who touches people on the hand or arm as they talk - she hugged the couple in front of me when they mentioned their engagement - and she has this natural ... I honestly don't know what to call it - grace? vibe? spirit? ... that makes the cold hearth of my soul blaze like a Christmas fireplace. I don't mean to suggest theres any sort of connection, simply that she gives off a vibe of generosity and familiarity that I've only ever felt with old girlfriends.

I thanked her for her performance in Stateside, which made her eyebrows go up like a Tex Avery cartoon, and complimented her on getting her character's diagnosis so wonderfully right. She listened to me, stopped writing, listened some more, would write some more. I'd hate to think I somehow overwhelmed her - I am often told I don't "play my cards" despite my being afraid I'm overplaying them - but she was sincere and gentle, her voice this almost ASMR tone. We took a selfie (THAT photo looks awful, I need to learn to not only pose in photos but not to cock my head away from the other person) and later a photo op (Which looks better! But like the one with Hayley, I look rigid compared to her practiced grace) where she invited me into her hooked arm with a "Hey you, wow, sharp dresser!" and straightened the front of my shirt with a pinch.

And finally! Mystery solved?

This is an update for @justrachaelleighcook - this photo was taken at Cannes! She'd not seen Anna in some time and the press (or whoever was behind the camera) asked for a photo together! "I've never seen this photo but I remember taking it because Bookies was running out of competition". So that dates this photo as 2002? (She'd also not heard Anna had been unwell of late and regarded what little I said with a bit of a furrowed brow.)

Needless to say I wish I had more time to talk to her but I'm forever aware theres a line of people behind me hoping for some time as well.

It was an exhausting two days at NYCC. I probably spent 15 hours there and of that, more than 13 hours was standing in lines. Overall, it was one of the - if not THE - smoothest and more effortless visits to a convention I've ever had. If any of them come back around, I'd love to meet them again. <3

[rearranged-fanfic]

Update (3/15)

I'm never actually going to get a chapter out on time. Lol. I am resigned to the fact that this is my truth.

So, fun stuff these past three weeks.

The next chapter? I hate it. It has been the bane of my existence for several reasons. I've deleted either the whole thing or massive parts of it no less than six times now. I've probably typed and retyped somewhere between 30K words for this one alone. I'm not happy with it at all. I've already put it off for another week, and I still can't get it the way I want. The perfectionist in me is telling me to pound it out until it's acceptable. The person inside who wants to meet my deadlines is screaming at me to just upload it in its current state and change it later.

I'm finishing it, though. Or, as finished as I can get it in an extra day. So, one more day and it'll be out for you guys to view to your hearts' content.

In other news, while battling frustration with the story, I've tried to distract myself from it so that my anger doesn't bleed into my writing. And I've wound up getting back into one of my old favorite chill games: My Time at Portia. I've put somewhere around 500 hours into it, and still love it. Lol. If you like things like Stardew Valley or Animal Crossing, you'll probably like Portia, too.

I've started rewatching My Hero Academia and Demon Slayer with my husband. Both of those things are living in my head rents free as well, alongside this fic and my game.

So, now I'm resisting the urge to contribute to a smaller, less-saturated fandom or pairing. Like, there are ten million GojoXReader stories, but what about for Arlo? Or Hawks? Or best boi Rengoku Kyojuro? Arrrggggh! The ADHD beckons, and I must resist its call!

I wish I could pause time so that I can write all the things I want to!

Also, I tried to unwind by watching The Boy and the Heron to celebrate its win at the Oscars. And I feel like I'm being gaslit by the world and anime community as a whole. Because it was… not great. Like, it was a genuinely incohesive and confusing movie? The plot was chaotic and nonsensical? The characters weren't very fleshed out? Character motivations suffered due to poor pacing? Emotional payoff was non-existant? The plot "reveals" weren't satisfying? The worldbuilding was lackluster and simultaneously too involved but not involved enough? There was a crappy third-act villain? The English dub is mid (barring Robert Pattinson, who is stellar, TBH); Why the fuck did Christian Bale decide that a Godfather-esque mafioso accent would be fitting for a WW era Japanese man when nobody else in the movie sounds like that?!

IDK… I went in expecting this to be on the same level as Howl's Moving Castle, Princess Mononoke, or Spirited Away. And I feel like we got Tales From Earthsea all over again. Except this time, for whatever reason, it won an award and is being praised as Miyazaki's magnum opus?!

I was actually salty for days. Scratch that; I'm still salty.

So... in conclusion, I'm back, bitches. And I'm vibing to the music of my own internal screaming.

[pastelcryptid]

Ten People I’d Like To Know Better (meme)

I was tagged by the lovely @starberry-cupcake I also had to edit this because I started filling it out, got distracted and so some answers changed last song: I've been listening to mostly podcasts recently so hard to say. I've also been listening to a Bob's Burgers song a lot recently, which is Happy Crappy Place, my second fave BB song after This Wedding is My Warzone last book: I'm reading Travellers in the Third Reich: The Rise of Fascism through the Eyes of Everyday People by Julia Boyd, which takes writings of people who lived, worked and travelled in Germany in the lead-up to WW2/rise of Nazis. It's very depressingly timely. last movie: I've finally got into watching a lot of new movies again. Sometimes my mental health doesn't allow me to watch a lot of the new movies I'd like to for various reasons, so I've been watching older ones (mostly 20s-50s) which has honestly been really fun and I've come across some movies I love that I'd never heard of before. One I just finished was The Pirate (1948) which honestly, didn't like all that much but I watched for the Garland-Kelly pairing so I didn't mind dragging myself through it. Was surprised to find that Make 'Em Laugh from Singin' in the Rain is basically plagiarised from a Cole Porter song in this movie. last tv show: Bob’s Burgers, which has sort of become my comfort thing and I watch an episode most days. Love the Belchers, I don't think there's a character I identify with more than Bob. Rewatched the first episode with Nat, the chaotic lesbian limo driver, who I love. sweet/spicy/savory: Really depends, I've gotten more attached to spicy food over the years but I really have a sweet tooth too. last thing I searched for online: the cast for The Pirate because the Nicholas Brothers turned up in it, which I wasn't expecting. current obsession: nothing specific, just been in a real musicals mood recently, listening to a lot of cast recordings looking forward to: March which is gonna be crazy. @abner-krill who is probably my longest online friend at this stage is coming to the UK 💖🥳🥳 and we're gonna spend a few nights in London and see Much Ado About Nothing. I'm seeing the original Broadway cast of Hadestown during their limited run in London, and Oedipus with another of my close friends. Also I'm going to see Taemin in concert in Brussels and this is all in the same fortnight lmao.

I don't think I have enough mutuals to tag this lmao

[yourknifemyside]

My name is Brandon, and I am really bad at doing new things. Let's try to fix that!

I recently had the thought when trying and failing to compile one of those Topsters lists of my favorite albums. I thought to myself, "man, I am bored of always listening to the same things. I've listened to the same things for the past seven years. How do I tell which ones are my favorites anymore, they all sound exactly the same!" So, I decided then, that going into 2025, I would wipe the slate clean. As far as my "favorite albums of all time" list concerned, as of right now, I have never listened to a single album in my life! This year, I'm going to attempt to listen to a ton of stuff, old and new, and completely rebuild a catalogue of music from scratch. If I haven't listened to it since the ball dropped, it doesn't exist to me yet! This tumblr blog is for keeping a journal of everything I listen to this year and beyond, new finds and relistens alike. And for fun, we're throwing games, movies, and tv shows in the mix as well. We're just gonna keep track of everything old and new that I get to this year. This is the place for my unfiltered thoughts on whatever. This truly exists for nobody but me, but maybe you will find something worth sticking around for. I wouldn't count on it, but either way, you're more than welcome to tag along for this journey of discovery / rediscovery!

Here's a list of the most important tags I'll be using to group my posts, as well as a reference key for any little icons that may pop up from time to time!

Tags:

#music - music listening journal, mostly albums

#games - video game backlog catalogue

#movies - feature length films

#shows - tv shows, cartoons, anime

#brandoncore - collection of the most essential, personal favorite things I've posted about

#recap - monthly wrap-up posts, including a brief list of things I did, but didn't post about

#bonus - extra posts related to music, games, movies, and shows

#nuzhof - winning teams from throughout my years of playing

#whocanrelate! - intrusive thoughts in the form of bars

Icons:

✨ is for post subjects that are new to me, I am experiencing them for the first time!

🔁 is for post subjects that I am relistening to, rewatching, or replaying!

💖 is for subjects that are officially, professionally certified #brandoncore, and find their way into the pantheon of brandoncore things.

I really considered not giving anything number scores, because I feel like people put too much stock into the number signifying how "good" something is. Unfortunately, my brain truly just loves to rank things and give them ratings, so we're committing to that. To give you an idea of what to expect, I think I'm generally a lot more positive on the shows and movies I watch, since I'm criminally underexposed to a lot of what's on offer in those mediums. Games and music are definitely where I'm more critical and harder to please, I'd say. Some have called me a hater in the past, but really, I only hate because I love so passionately... there needs to be a balance to everything! Everybody's internal scale operates differently, so for transparency sake, I'll be outlining my exact (loose) definition for the vibes of my own score scale:

Occasionally I might add a + or - modifier to a score to further adjust and represent my exact thoughts on something. This just means that within its number rating, I lean a smidge higher or lower on it than its peers.

Like everything else with the scores though, its all just silly and for my own brain's enjoyment, and the easiest, fastest way to sum up my feelings on something. A lot of the time the most personally resonant things for my are the 7s and 8s of the world, my little imperfect masterpieces. There's more to the story than just a score :)

Well, that's me! And that's what this is! I hope you find something of value here if you went out of your way to read all of this! Special thanks to @teddydeer for the lovely visuals on this post, I spent two days trying to make it look good myself and uh, she blew mine out of the water in the space of about an hour >_<

[maplebean2003]

I went into wish by Disney with an open mind even while knowing people seem to have hated it and we all wish (haha) that the concept ideas were what they stayed with but alas here we are,anyways -

I found this movie genuinely beautiful with the mix of 3d art and 2d art it's the ONLY time I've seen it done so well as if it were concept art painted upon a canvas! It felt very much like classic Disney however it was very unmemorable and I can't see myself rewatching this

There was one song out of the whole movie that I could say I would've enjoyed hearing as a kid but now it's kinda meh

Another song slapped but not hard enough for me to want to sing it

The villain was just...super relatable and frankly I don't understand why he was seen as so bad when he had very valid reasons to be upset - did he take it too far? Absolutely

It almost feels like they forgot half way their plan with his character as I was expecting him to be MUCH worse when in reality he deserved a redemption arc

An apology even from the kingdom for abusing his powers so much and only seeing him for that alone

His song was not a villain song either it was nothing sinister or evil even so that was disappointing

The side kick goat seemed very annoying to me where they tried too hard to make him funny or even likable when he probably could've just not existed and the movie wouldn't have been changed in any way shape or form

The star was cute and I enjoyed how it was a different media form than she was but I found myself not caring if he was captured or not really as I felt I didn't get to bond with it at all in time for the ending to have any impact on me

Though that may be because I am 20 lol but I think even as a child I wouldn't have been bothered by it much

Id rate it a 3/5 but really the three only goes to the art because that's the only thing that saved this movie for me unfortunately

I wanted to like it but at least it wasn't AS bad as people made it out to be

Id say watch it once at least but I watched it in 2x speed sooo...idk lol the plot felt very simple honestly in a bad way

The characters felt human enough but just...very flat at the same time where I just couldn't connect or relate to anyone except the villain

I don't see why he got such a bad wrap when Elsa did pretty much the same thing and she got a redemption

Why's it okay for her but not this man?? Idk it was odd to me

Also Bambi was in it with John from Robin Hood in the background which I actually thought was super cute :)) Bambi is all grown now!

Anyways I'd watch for the art but nothing else

My hopes weren't high to begin with so I wasn't really let down by it

It surprised me twice at least with certain twists and one instance of actually evil action being taken where the king shatters a wish of a woman....but my shock was quickly taken away unfortunately when the wish was immediately brought back like 5 minutes later somehow which didn't make any sense to me at all :// it seemed like they just didnt want anyone to complain but I think it would've been better to depict the woman either repairing her wish with help or having a new one instead of just... immediately having it back just perfectly fine

The other scene that had my jaw drop was a surprise betrayal that I won't tell cause it genuinely surprised me as it was not hinted at in the slightest beforehand

I understand why the betrayal happened though at least so it wasn't half baked like most of the movie seemed to be

But yeah Id say 3 outta 5 or 2.5 out of 5 somewhere between those and no higher as the art was the only thing that REALLY saved it for me

Now being stingy I would've LOVED watching the original plot they had for this movie as a lil star twink guy would've been goals /gender envy to the max but alas I get why

They wanted merch to sell easily most likely so they dumbed it down and made him more marketable ;-; twink death pipeline for sure

[walkawaytall]

15 questions tag game

thank you @officialfoxsquadron for the tag :D

Were you named after anyone? No. My parents just liked the name.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? I think a couple of weeks ago? I'm trying to remember if I cried in my last therapy session, and I vaguely remember tearing up. It's funny; I was such a crier well into my mid-twenties and then I just...wasn't any more. The fact that I can go a month or more without crying now is still bizarre even though I've been like this for a decade.

DO YOU HAVE KIDS? I don't. I would like kids, but that has not been in the cards for me up to this point.

WHAT SPORTS HAVE YOU PLAYED/DO YOU PLAY? Okay, well, first off, I've never competed in anything. I've taken horseback riding lessons (dressage and show jumping mainly), took ballet off and on over the years, I was a cheerleader in high school (I don't think the validity of cheer being considered a sport is called into question much any longer, but also, I was a base. I lifted people. It's a dang sport.), I used to run (I have successfully completed two 5k races and a 15k, but I think I'm done with running), and for the hottest of seconds, I did some roller derby training but never competed.

DO YOU USE SARCASM? Regularly

FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Their demeanor, I guess?

WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? Blue/green with some yellow around my pupils (I think it's called central heterochromia, but I'm not looking that up right now)

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? I don't like truly scary movies at all, so happy endings, I guess. My limit watching something by myself is like...The Sixth Sense. I watched Haunting of Hill House with my mom and brother and loved it, but when I tried to rewatch it, it was way too spooky for me. And I don't think most people consider that show particularly scary, so. Happy endings.

ANY TALENTS? writing, I've dabble with different artistic mediums and have been solidly okay in most of what I've tried except fiber arts stuff, my brain works a little differently than a lot of people's, which works well in my line of work because solving problems sometimes involves looking at the issue differently, and I tend to notice stuff a lot of people don't (just like they notice stuff I don't).

WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Texas

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES? Writing, horseback riding (though it's been nearly a year), video games, hiking if it's not 100000 degrees outside and my allergies aren't acting up (so, basically never these days)

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? Two cats, Winnie and Posey.

HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5'6". Fun(?) fact: my mom and all of her siblings grew an inch in their twenties, and I didn't expect to do that because I physically take after my dad a lot more than my mom, but I was 5'5" all through my teens and early twenties, and then suddenly was measuring 5'6", so I guess I also did the thing.

FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? English and Anatomy & Physiology

DREAM JOB? Writer of some sort.

tags: @diplomaticprincess, @smallblueandloud, and anyone else who wants to fill something out!

[joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

Woo! As promised, put the show on hold and let it finish first, and then watched the entire second half in one sitting. And that included rewatching episodes 7 and 8. Definitely the right call to make - I think I had way more fun than I would've otherwise.

This second half of Sand Land is quite interesting honestly. I think at first I was definitely feeling... not negative per say, but a little put off - it's quite slow and even a little tiring to watch initially, it doesn't take much time for it to just start going through the motions of repeating stuff that happened in the first half. We'll repeat gags about how evil Beelzebub is, show off Thief's Santa costume, repeat the absorbing the power of the darkness scene. Things that we've seen before in the first part are done again but less impactfully - the only difference is that now Ann is here as a new onlooker. It feels akin to all sorts of modern sequels to retro properties, tickling your nostalgia by hitting similar plot beats, character moments, and just general scenes - think your new Star Wars movies, stuff like that. It's not inherently a bad thing, I just think the context of this production makes it feel a little awkward - Sand Land the manga may be from 2000, but this anime production is new, and for pretty much the entire audience it's going to be their first exposure to the series. So within that one production we have both the original story as it existed nearly a quarter-century ago as well as a nostalgic sequel. And they're both just the one thing. Most of the viewers - myself included - just can't take these as nostalgic callbacks, because we've literally just seen them for the first time. It's definitely just a bit weird, you know?

I think as the show went on, however, that it gradually started turning this into more of a strength. Your fairly surface level fanservicey callbacks are definitely still present - the gang do get the old tank back and do their usual crazy impossible strategies, Beelzebub goes joker mode, we raid a floating airship - stuff like that. But by and large they're seriously in service of the new narrative and oftentimes are significantly expanded upon for the sake of the narrative tension. The power of the darkness is a plot point. Beelzebub's joker mode isn't a win button. The tank is back because we've got the Sand Land military completely on our side now. And more than just letting old iconography and moments take hold of the narrative, this second part wants to flesh out every part of the setting. The picchi were making weird helpful tech in the first part, now they're making nonlethal weaponry in the second. The Swimmers are major supporting characters. Satan - Beelzebub's dad who appeared in literally one scene initially - is marginally more fleshed out as a character and dramatically more present in the narrative proper, even showing off some of his power (which is pretty important to a series like this). Wholly new are the Angels, Forest Land, and Ann - the latter of which is tied directly into Beelzebub and Satan in a way which isn't foreshadowed in the original, but also that never bothered me and she's all around a fun inclusion, so it works - her mechanical prowess rounds out the crew quite well. I don't think I've done a good job in this paragraph selling how well the show reuses the old and mixes it with the new, but it kept me having a lot more fun with this arc than I expected to just off my gut reaction to it at the beginning.

Few more miscellaneous notes:

Bred's arc is a little poor - despite his own protests he's very complicit in Muniel's actions which make him feel surprisingly weak-willed, and his turnaround ends up feeling somewhat sudden accordingly.

Thematically we're matching the original part pretty similarly, although the focus on trust is put on the backburner in favour of exploring themes of technology and technological responsibility, which feels like a natural development from that first part. Although capitalism as a theme was dropped, which tbf I didn't really think about while watching at all but it does make this second part have a little less thematic bite.

Muniel is a little shit and I desperately wanted to see him get beat up, which is a catharsis the show offers plenty of.

I was initially hesitant about Forest Land because it felt like it broke the setting of the first part a little, and although I did warm up to it, I wish they had explored it a little more.

Metalisation was a very random new power to drop lol.

I liked Ann's half-demon heritage and her internal conflict surrounding it.

It felt like Beelzebub pissed a lot more.

I kind of wish they showed us what the badlands or whatever they were called looked like with Garam having crashed into them - rainy aurora borealis was definitely sick but yk, what that lake lookin like with a dope airship in it

There's a fairly open ending leaving the potential for more stories to be told in this world - personally I could go either way, if they make more I'll watch but there's also something to be said about Toriyama's legacy and I do like this as one of the final stories he shared with us.

I should see how the game is reviewing and how the gameplay is looking and decide if I really want to buy it or not. Again probably discounted but yk

Anyway yeah that's Sand Land. I liked the first part, and I was hesitant about the second but I liked it too. A show that I liked watching from start to end. Crazy. If you're inclined towards fairly conventional action/adventure stories with a lot of personality - or just like the works of Akira Toriyama at all - I'd say check it out. It's good shit.