#I've reread it like two dozen times

[asteraceae-blue]

The stress of getting ready to post a chapter with Plot Detail

[wheeloffortune-design]

I'm so happy for your new job opportunity man!!!!! I've been following your journey for a while and your updates have started feeling like the ones from a neighbour :) go kick ass!!!!!!!!!!!

thank you! :D Yeah, it's been a whole journey since I lost my job last september.... if i recall correctly, in the last four months, I-

crammed all the dentist appointments i could get in two weeks before my insurance ran out = 5h total of getting cavities filled

spent so much time applying to jobs, first in the artistic domain i wanted, then for management/desk jobs, then retail. i made a dozen CVs, a bunch of portfolios, countless cover letters. it took two months, and only the art store called me back.

went to two small conventions and gave presentations in both

had an artist table at the rpg convention so i had to prepare prints and stuff

drew a whole pinup calendar in a couple of weeks

built an online store and set the print on demand system to sell prints and said calendars

somewhere around that was halloween. i was a sexy pirate.

wrote a short-story in three days to meet a deadline

drew a lot of commissions, one of them with cars, it was hard

got a retail job at the art store

turned 40! my friends brought face makeup at the party, i was a pink spiderman.

worked full time at the art store, was physically exhausting

completely reorganized the framing department

a friend told me about a storyboarding opportunity that would open in january, showed me how to use the program

christmas rush

lost my grandma, was a very hard time for the family

awkward holidays

between christmas and new year i learned how to use storyboard pro and made a animatic as a portfolio piece (while working 40h)

new year. my resolution is fame and fortune.

had to prepare the kickstarter plan for the upcoming novel

grandma's funeral

online cover reveal party for the book

corrected the line edits of Mrs. Victoria, reread the whole book in three days

the studio liked the animatic i send, they made me take a storyboarding test, which took two days

reminder that i'm still working a 40h/week job and coming back home most days at 9pm. it's winter, in canada.

the test was accepted, i negotiated the contract

and today i told the art store i was leaving

i'm startig the new job on monday.

so yeah, i haven't stopped for a moment in the last four months. i still have some commissions to draw, and then i'll start writing and drawing stuff for the kickstarter, but i'll have a lot more time, money, and energy to tackle all this.

(i'm very lucky that i was finally medicated for adhd just before all of this, i couldn't have made it without my friend concerta.)

so this is gonna be me for the next couple of days, lots of sleep, maybe play a video game. make the puzzle i received at christmas.

[todofics]

Off The Market | 3/6 | Todoroki Shoto x Reader

♡ Summary: The Todoroki name had always borne a heavyweight amongst even society’s finest. When the family’s youngest son, and heir to the title, is forced into the marriage market, it’s no surprise that he quickly becomes the season’s most eligible bachelor—hoping to avoid marriage for at least one more season, who better than to circumvent the ton other than his long-time friend, you? 

♡ Content: regency au, fake-dating trope, aged-up characters, age gap (4 years), mutual pining, fem reader, fem pronouns, mature content in future chapters 

♡  Author notes: Fair warning, but I did not bother to reread this before publishing - something possessed me, and I sat down and banged this out in one sitting. Yeah. Sorry for the delay, but I've been working 6 days a week to make up for the fact that it's flu season (health care is not for the weak). Hopefully, this is still understandable enough for you to enjoy!

♡ 2.5k /est. 15k words (chapter 3/6)

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Main Masterlist ♡  MHA Masterlist ♡ Previous ♡  Next

Shoto left minutes after your agreement with hushed promises to see you later that night, your face only slightly warmer and his with a sly grin gracing his captivating features. God, you could stare at that smile for hours - wait. You shook your head rapidly, lightly slapping your cheeks as you tried to calm your racing heart. Bad (Y/n)! This entire thing was supposed to renew the interest of others in you, not give you fluttery thoughts about your long-time friend.    

Fanning yourself in an attempt to cool down, the sound of your mother clearing her throat caused you to jump in your seat; right, she was in the room. In the midst of these new bubbling feelings rising in your stomach, you’d just… forgotten. It wasn’t like you to be so ditsy, but you weren't entirely used to having a chaperone for you and Shoto. It may have been the norm to have a chaperone for young girls and their potential suitors, but the two of you never had that kind of relationship, and your parents trusted you enough to be alone (at least as long as you were out of the public’s eye).

Until now, you had never even thought of him in that manner. Sure, you knew he was attractive - everyone did, and it wasn’t like you were blind - but the thought of anything more than that just never crossed your mind. Although you had been childhood friends, your families were simply leagues apart: you, a lowly untitled noble, and him, a future Duke. That type of pairing was uncommon (if not nearly impossible) in society.

Nevertheless, you knew your mother would have dozens of questions about the seemingly out-of-nowhere courtship; not once since your debut had Shoto shown an ounce of interest in you (at least not in that way). Indeed, it didn’t look good to anyone that suddenly, with an arranged marriage on the horizon, he was showing up to your estate on the premise of being a “caller.” Your mother was old, but she wasn’t dumb; anyone with half a brain could see the potential scheme the two of you were whipping up. Even if she was becoming desperate for you to finally make a match, this was fishy at best. Hopefully, the two of you seemed interested enough to put those potential rumors at ease; after all, everyone longs for a love based upon the foundation of friendship. With a raised brow, she finally ushered you over, drinking her tea calmly as if today was just another day. 

“Explain.”

You knew you could never lie to your mother, but you had to at least try. Continuing to fan yourself, the nervous sweat dripped down your forehead - was it hot in here, or was it just you? (It was just you; the full effect of the Summer heat had yet to hit, and the morning time was quite cool). “Explain what?” you asked, tilting your head slightly to add to the picture of naivete. 

She sighed, taking yet another sip of her tea; your mother, thankfully, was never the pushy type. 

“I do not know what exactly the two of you are planning, but whatever it is, you need to be careful,” she urged, her tone serious as she looked at you suspiciously as if to gaze directly through you and into your mind. You gulped, flashing her a half-hearted grin in an attempt to reassure her. Typically, besides Shoto, your mother was your closest confidante, but perhaps it was best if she didn’t know about this. You already knew that if she did, she’d give you an earful and forbid you from seeing the boy (and that was a fate you’d rather not be forced into). 

“I promise you, mama, we aren’t planning anything,” you swore, setting down the fan and opting to raise your hands defensively. She continued to give you that pointed look, only humming in acknowledgment at the promise after a moment of pause. She knew you better than that, but pushing was never the answer with you (she couldn’t change your mind once it was made up anyway).

You knew she meant well with her concern, but you were a grown woman - seriously, you had been out in society now for four whole years - and you could make your own decisions. You were more than capable of protecting yourself.

With one last look over, she sent you away, commenting that you were dressed far too casually for a calling with the future Duke and to dress better for the ball tonight. With a groan, you merely nodded, allowing yourself to be whisked away by a maid to be adequately showered and dressed; even if your mother was suspicious, she still found public opinion far too important (at least to your taste).

Later that evening, dressed to the nines in one of your best gowns and fanciest pastes, you stood with your back pressed to the wall again, swirling a glass of champagne around as you stared aimlessly at the crowd. Although you’d typically be talking with the girls, you couldn’t quite bring yourself to join the conversation tonight, instead choosing to listen to the bits and pieces of gossip they seemed to be so entranced by. This time, however, appeared to be a bit different; although you’d have to really be looking for it to be obvious, you could feel a few glances being cast upon you. It seemed rumors surrounding you were already being spread. None of the other girls seemed to notice the rhythm of the conversation continuing without a lull. 

Although you weren’t quite sure what to expect from a “proper” courtship with Shoto (you hadn’t been seriously courted in years now - especially not from someone of high standing), you couldn’t help but look for the man in the crowd. Spotting him wasn’t difficult; his lean stature and peppermint hair made him stand out against just about anyone. It was still early into the ball, and he hadn’t quite made his way over yet, still greeting others of higher status as was expected. It wasn’t until about half an hour into the ball that he approached your little group as others in the area marveled at his presence. It wasn’t often that he found time to stop at the edges of the ballroom - especially not recently -  as he was often stuck directly in the center with his family, growing increasingly acquainted with the duties that came with being a future Duke.

“I hope I’m not imposing,” he started, his gaze resting on you as the girls seemed to move to allow room for him. “I was just going to steal (Y/n) for a moment,” Shoto finished, offering his hand to you expectantly. It was well-known that the two of you were childhood friends, so the event didn’t seem to stick out too much to your friends. That, however, didn't stop their apparent excitement.

“Not at all,” Mina chirped happily, the rest of the group nodding along. “Feel free to take her!” 

You offered him a weak smile, taking his hand as the girls seemed to giggle at the event (they never once believed you when you said you didn’t have feelings for him). “I hope your dance card isn’t full,” he mumbled, leading you to the center of the ballroom. Your eyes narrowed at the taller man; he definitely knew it wasn’t full. Was he daring to make a jest at you now after his promise? You hadn’t made an effort to dance in so long, nor had anyone made an effort to invite you. Maybe this was part of the reason why you had no prospects. 

“It isn’t,” you confirmed, grasping onto his hand a little tighter as the crowd grew denser toward the center of the room. Even if you had longed for someone to finally look at you, this was a bit much. Being with Shoto, in the center of the ballroom, you could feel the piercing stares of everyone in the room; all eyes were on you. 

To the strumming of orchestral instruments, Shoto wrapped his free hand around your waist, his other hand never releasing yours as he pulled you close - closer than you were ever accustomed to being. “I know,” he laughed teasingly, starting to sway rhythmically to the song in the background.

You puffed your cheeks out, pouting just a bit at him. Cute. “I knew it, you jerk,” you replied, following his lead; although you hadn’t danced in so long, the footwork was muscle memory. Maybe those dance lessons your mother forced on you weren’t so useless after all. 

“Just teasing,” Shoto chuckled, flashing you that boyish grin that seemed to be reserved for just you (at least you hoped so; you never truly saw him smiling as often with anyone as he did with you). You scoffed, allowing yourself to be dipped by the taller man as you moved together in perfect harmony.  It was as if you had done this dozens of times.

“And if anyone were to hear you?” you questioned, voice barely louder than the music. No one would hear, of course, but you still had to remind him that you were in public. 

“They wont.”

The song came to an end, but Shoto didn’t seem to want to separate, his grip on you tightening as you attempted to step away. “You want this to look real?” he asked, voice hushed as he continued to pull you along as the next song started. If anyone wasn’t looking before, they sure as hell were now. Shoto hadn’t willingly danced for more than one song in ages. Even Shoto, forced by his family, had only danced once throughout the entirety of the last season (and even then, that was with Fuyumi). With this, Shoto was making his intentions loud and clear for anyone to see - you were his. 

“People are staring,” you mumbled back, not doing much else to refuse. It was hard to refuse when he was looking at you like that. The intensity of his stare caused you to look downwards, focusing on the movement of your feet.

“Ignore them,” he said, momentarily releasing your hand to take your chin in hand as he directed your gaze back at him. He was quick to take your hand back into his, ignoring the way your (and many others) jaw dropped. “Just focus on me.” Rumors were definitely going to circulate after that. 

Although you were usually nervous about being the center of attention, the people staring seemed to fade into the background as you became entranced by Shoto’s eyes; something about being close to him was just so… relaxing. You could easily forget about all of your worries this way.

Shoto seemed to relax as well, letting his guard down as the two of you danced around for many more songs despite the whispers; although he wouldn’t admit it aloud, he was most comfortable with you. Conversation with you was easy - simple. You didn’t flourish your words with the many niceties others in society seemed to; it was refreshing. In exchange for that bluntness, you got to see a side of Shoto he didn’t let others see - the teasing, fun, boyish side. People often forget that he, too, is a person - not just the future duke.

Throughout the various songs, your conversation with Shoto continued in that easy-going manner; you talked about everything and nothing at all. It had been so long since you had a chance to do this. To just… talk. 

“I missed this,” he interjected during a lull in your conversation, his eyes looking at you with a sort of fondness you weren’t familiar with (or did he always look at you this way? You hadn’t noticed). 

“What?” you asked, the aching of your feet starting to make itself known. You had to have been dancing with him for at least an hour now, and for someone who hadn’t danced in years, that in itself was a feat. 

“Talking to you like this,” Shoto finished his musing, a more gentle smile replacing that usual stoic expression on his face. Although the two of you were close, the last season had done a number on your friendship; his father, especially, had pushed him to focus on the family business, seeing his friendship with you as trivial. As of late, it felt like you could count the number of times you’d had an actual conversation with Shoto on one hand. 

You could feel that same fluttering feeling of butterflies starting again in your gut as your heart raced, “I missed it too.” God, he really knew how to make a girl’s heart race, didn’t he? A matching dumb grin colored your features.

“Hopefully, we can still talk like this after you find your future husband,” Shoto said, his expression almost wistful as he thought about the future. You were just such a good friend. Your smile immediately fell, reminding you what this plan was truly about. 

“Right,” you mumbled, gaze leaving his as you finally broke away from his grip, turning immediately to leave. That was enough for the night. Stupid Shoto and his damn bluntness. Stupid Shoto and his inability to understand anyone’s feelings but his own. “It’s getting late, and I’m tired. It’s about time I retire.”

He nodded in understanding, "Let me walk you out." You shook your head, opting to not respond verbally for fear that your voice would waver. "Then I'll see you tomorrow," Shoto resolved, staring at your retreating figure.

Hopefully, you’d turned around in time to not let him see the beginning of tears pricking your eyes. Hopefully, you were able to mask the hurt in your voice as you bid him goodbye. Hopefully, he couldn’t sense your urgency to get outside that suffocating ballroom.

Fuck. You had feelings for Shoto. Real, concrete, romantic feelings. 

Finishing out this deal would be more complicated than you thought. How could you possibly think you could avoid growing feelings for Shoto and his stupidly handsome face? For years, you knew Shoto had never intended to marry, so you had guarded your heart. You had been so careful. Now, here comes one little proposition, and you let your guard down. Stupid. This was so stupid. You were stupid.

Perhaps you should’ve set more ground rules and allowed for more distance between the two of you. It wasn’t like he was trying to make you fall for him. He was far too dense for that - far too dense to understand the effect that he had on people. He was clear from the beginning with you what he wanted, and it definitely wasn’t whatever this was. It wasn’t fair to him that you were upset at him over something he had no control over. 

You willed yourself to walk at a normal speed, your pace only increasing once you reached the outdoors. As you continued to run into cover of the evening, you felt like you could finally breathe. Wiping your tears, you took a deep breath and stepped into the carriage. He didn’t deserve this.

So, you steeled your resolve. Feelings be damned, you’d go through with this plan if it was the last thing you’d do.

ˋ°•*⁀➷ taglist: @niineau 

ask to be added

[kimio7]

Fics that defined my love of f1 rpf

In celebration of literally nothing actually, i bring you a fic rec list of some of my favourites!!! very condensed (100+ -> 15 not even including tumblr fics) and im kinda sad i cant put all of my favs down lol but these are like my must reads!!

pleaseeee read these if u havent already its all amazing even if you dont vibe with the ships themselves

Strollonso:

silver platter by atwater | E | 9k

Literally the first fic I've ever read and basically got me into this fandom (and ship). Theyre both so unhinged and amazing it's a very fun read. Probably the best written lance ive every read.

Make Sound by antimonyandthyme | E | 1k

Makes me so fucking insane no notes this is just amazing oh my god

I make two grand an hour by Kaytheologie | E | 3k

Literally so hot and so amazing. lance is so bitchy in this one is great. amazing writing and amazing premise, literally inspired me to sketch out something right after (might finish it at some point)

Sewis:

provenance by ecorone | M | 18K

Literally the fic that introduced and made me fall in love with sewis. it wrecked me like i still havent recovered at all. the writing itself is just, i vibe to it so much

The Numbering at Bethlehem by Kaytheologie | E | 26k

might be one of my favourite fics, ever. what a masterpiece genuinely the environment is just so immersive and lush. ive reread it a dozen time and it never gets old

Brocedes:

you're my purple candy high by nothoughtsjustvibes | M | 5k

baby's first brocedes 🥹 started my love affair with emotional destruction. ruined me when i just first read it and ruined me every time after that. The writing is so profound and laid out their tragedy bare.

the torture of small talk with someone you used to love by finedae | T | 2k

baby's first nico fic!! it also destroyed me!! i think this is the one that made me join f1br bc i was just so obsessed with the writing i needed to know what the author was like lol.

3344:

special research vessels by ecorone | M | 15k

listen i thought this ship wouldve been more popular than it is LOL or at least not as hated. regardless, i love this fic so much. I love the environment, I love the dialogue, the characterization, everything. It's just such an amazing reading experience

matchstick people by ecorone | E | 60k

if you havent noticed by now, im obsessed with this author. the prose, the characterizations, how beautifully the magical realism of it all was realized. horror as a genre is so underutilized in fanfics as a whole but when its done, its done amazingly. love love love

Others:

crude generalisations and vulgar simplifications by crescenteluce | E | 14k | Alexander Albon/George Russell

This fic is THE galex fic for me. it so funny and the writing is so witty its just fun to read. love the way the environment is constructed and it everything just feels so real. amazing

it's more than I can bear: this interminable want, turning and turning. by Anonymous | E | 2k | Fernando Alonso/George Russell

The vibes are rancid, the ships are niche, the writing is good. what more do you need? i love reading this and i love thinking about this.

Amen by sirius | M | 9k | Fernando Alonso/Lewis Hamilton

THE ferwis fic is my mind and mad me unreasonably obsessed with this ship. its so well written- like i love the characterization so much it makes me insane.

on golden sands bysionisjaune | T | 6k | Lewis Hamilton/Nico Rosberg/Sebastian Vettel

Listen, this and the ships that go sailing are both just amazingly entertaining fics. its objectively such a good read and i enjoy spending my time reading it. its just so fun!

steal the air out of my lungs (make me feel it) by nahco3 | E | 26K | Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen

My favourite medical au fic!! ever!!! everything is just so well realized and the characterization is just spot on!! love everything about this fic and nothing i say can fully explain how amazing this fic is!!!

Shutter Speed byantimonyandthyme | E | 18k | Sebastian Vettel/Mark Webber

got me into photography lol. made me purchase my first actual camera. dont know what else to say its just that amazing

[rist-ix]

Heyyy rist!

I hope you are doing alright and I can't wait to read what you write next, even if it isn't tbhtbh. But speaking of tbhtbh do you think Valtor would ever resort to using a love potion or at least something of that nature? I can't remember if you've answered this question or not but i thought it was a fun ask, this could also be for sparked too. I feel like Valtor thinks he's above that cause of his natural charm🔥tm but maybe he might grow some self awareness and get desperate 🤔

These next few years are gonna be hell in America but at least I know I can always turn towards sparked for some joy 😊 and of course tbhtbh. Have a wonderful day ✨

Hi!!!! As always these days, big apologies for not giving more updates, I swear I’m gonna finish this chapter one day haha

My internship is going to continue until end of march, and after that I’m pretty much entering straight into my bachelor semester without break. So I can’t even offer an optimistic prediction rn. If you’re rereading Sparked, pls know that so am I. (Looking back I have NO IDEA how I could write like 9000 words every 1-2 weeks, WHERE has that energy gone oh my god.)

Talking about current political events: don’t worry, it’s gonna get MUCH worse here in Germany too! 🙃

But! What really helped me is going to my local town hall meetings, and joining up with the tiny offshoot of the Green Party that runs my town. The medium age there is like, sixty, but it’s honestly so healing for the soul to be surrounded by ppl who care so much, and have the know-how to make changes in our immediate environment. Even if the world goes to shit on a national level, the people who run things closest to us are always gonna do the best with what they have. It’s also so funny to watch two dozen 60-year-olds discuss how to best bully the one local AfD politician. Or plan Instagram reels with them. The seniors are alright is what I’m saying

Anyway, to get to your question!!! As always my answer is going to be kind of “it depends”, but leaning towards a pretty strong No.

Main reason for that is that we only have 2 canonical examples for a love potion, and both are, um. Not what Valtor would be into. The more recent example would be Diaspro's potion for Sky, which seems to take effect almost immediately and comes with a near mindless suggestibility, total obedience, and some pretty egregious mood swings and personality changes. She could tell Sky what to believe, what to do, and how to feel, with Sky falling into really atypical, bloodthirsty rages when faced with the Winx. Keep in mind, he's faced way worse threats to both himself and his friends before, and has always been pretty blasé about it.

While we do know that Valtor has no qualms about using mind control, and has always pursued control over others as his end goal, in any fic I've written so far his obsession with Bloom depends highly on the challenge/threat she poses to him, and the unexpectedness of her actions. In Sparked especially, Bloom's unpredictability plays a huge part in Valtor's escalating fascination with her, and I cannot see him willing to throw that away for a subjugated love-potion version of her. Plus, as you mentioned, Valtor prides himself on his charm and persuasiveness. Using a love potion would be akin to admitting defeat, and he would NEVER do that!

Similarly, in tbhtbh, Valtor doesn’t dare to try and use his mark on her, for fear of turning Bloom into a mindless puppet as a consequence. Here is where it gets tricky, though, because I CAN see this version of Valtor being way more ready to use drastic measures to get his way. Tbhtbh!Valtor is motivated largely by his desire for control, and the love potion would give him that with way less obvious side effects than his mark. Additionally, the love potion wouldn’t require any active input from him. It's a one-time-usage kinda deal, not a constant supervision of her mind. And the idea of Bloom being in love with — or even merely affectionate towards— him, might seriously pull his resolve into question. After those infamous three years, tbhtbh!Valtor is pretty unhinged already, and could convince himself of almost anything if the situation is dire enough. Though even then, I can’t see it being his first choice — if only because it would hurt his ego.

Now, outside of any specific story, I'm gonna be honest: there is nothing a love potion would do that would go against Valtor's canon principles. In a really dark fic, love-potioning Bloom would just be mind control, with the added insult-to-injury benefit of her applying all that blind faith, loyalty and affection to him instead of her friends. In a scenario where he does not yet have that begrudging respect for her as an opponent, he would absolutely pull that stunt. Or hell, even with that respect, if he was just a little more vindictive and pragmatic.

In any case, whether he would use one or not, I think Valtor would clearly see a love potion as mind control. There would be no convincing himself that Bloom's feelings for him were real; wether he'd do it out of revenge, need for control, or plain wish for her affection, he'd be very clear-eyed about the reality of it.

Notable mentions to the only other example we get or love potions being used in Winx Club: season 2! That would be Amore's spell on Améntia, the princess of the Downlands. It’s been a while since I've watched that episode, but I vaguely remember that Améntia IMMEDIATELY switched her obsession with Brandon over to Sponsus, who she had pretty much ignored up to that point. Leaving aside how the show glossed over the pretty mind-controlly implications of that, Améntia seemed to be pretty much unchanged personality wise, afterwards. While that might be a version of love-potioning that would appeal to Valtor's very unique honor code, the logistics of that would probably be a no-go for him. I just can’t see him stooping to using pixie magic, or even allying himself with one. Just wanted to mention it, for completions' sake. (There is a love-potion-esque spell Amore displays in s3 too, during the pixie’s “battle” against the Trix. She claims that it would be able to make Valtor fall in love with any of the Trix, but we never see that spell put into effect, so I’m not counting it here.)

[intothedraft]

Chapter 35: Roan Is The World's Worst Boyfriend

Layane hides until the sound of her magical boyfriend stabbing men to death stops. There is nothing to suggest any of the men are left alive, which I guess means the 'my own shadow' thing was a misdirect or (more likely) a leftover from when I originally planned to include Shafina in this scene.

Whoops!

[Layane] felt someone touch her shoulder, she turned. Roan. “Hi,” she muttered weakly. He hugged her, and Layane looked over to the other side of the cave over his shoulder. Clemant, Clemant was still stuck… They broke apart. “We have to save my sister,” said Layane. “Did you hear what the man said?” said Roan. “But…” “We can’t, Layane, we can’t.”

I have read and reread the last two chapters several times, trying to work out what Roan meant by 'what the man said'.

If we assume Roan was there all along, which means he watched Clemant get trapped in the ice prison without intervening, didn't grab Layane while the bad guys thought she was unconscious, then waited a strangely long time before stepping in after one of the men attacked Layane, he probably means what the man said about the ice prisons being able to withstand millions of tonnes of pressure.

So by, 'Did you hear what the men said? / We can't, Layane, we can't', Roan means: "It's impossible for us to save your sister, so we shouldn't bother trying. Even though she's literally just in an ice cube and one of my country's leaders is a massive ball of fire. Based on what the man said, no point."

Lovely.

If we assume Roan isn't the world's worst boyfriend, and that he arrived immediately before he first spoke, well... this is everything the Hivemind said since he appeared. I've even been generous and assumed he caught the end of the monologue.

Unnamed man #1 (man who attacked Layane): “I have waited for this moment,” (...) “For most of my life. Your horrible stupid little family, always killing us… but now, we will kill you both. And the main line of Croes will be gone. Forever.”

Unnamed man #1: “Do you know who said that?”

Unnamed man #1: “Men, get in here, we may have company,” [armed men then swiftly arrive]

Unnamed man #1: “Are you sure?” [That Layane did not hear who spoke]

Unnamed man #1: “Where are you?” (...) “Come on, I know you’re hiding in here somewhere!”

Unnamed man #1: “Ha ha,” (...)“Show yourself, wherever and whoever you are, otherwise…” (...) “…I’ll shoot her,”

Unnamed man #2: “Oh, if it isn’t our friend,”

Unnamed man #3: “Er… we kill you now,”

Unnamed man #1: “No,” [In response to Roan saying 'get off her']

Unnamed man (unclear if this is #2, #3 or another): “Hand her over or we’ll shoot!”

So nothing that would make sense of Roan's dialogue. If the Hivemind had said something along the lines of, "Dozens more of us are on the way to kill you!" or "This whole place is gonna collapse in five seconds!" or something else along those lines, that would make sense.

But no. There's nothing.

Seeing as Roan has (presumably) killed all of the present members of the Hivemind, and none of the Hivemind's dialogue since his arrival suggests that anything will happen to them if they hang around to rescue Clemant, I assume he did mean the million tonnes thing.

Tears started to stream down her face. “Do I have to choose between you and her?” she yelled.

Again: it's not much of a choice, is it? OBVIOUSLY save your four-year-old sister who is slowly freezing to death.

“I’ve only really known you for a couple of weeks, but I’ve known her for

Good. She's finally getting it.

six years!

Oh. Clemant is six now, I guess. Either two years have passed since the war started or I forgot how old she was.

(Or, as my fiancée suggested, "Layane counts the year her parents took to conceive Clemant as knowing her, because they were very open about the whole thing.")

They hear a gunshot, so Roan drags Layane out of the cave.

As in, he grabs her arm and runs with her out of the cave. Even though he can fly.

Sigh.

Whatever is outside the cave isn't described, so I have no idea if they run out of the ice caves straight into the battle. I assume not, as I hope I'd describe that, or at least throw in a passing comment about it.

Layane desperately tries to persuade Roan to stop, which would make a lot more sense if he was flying, because presumably if he was running she could just rip her hand out of his grasp.

“Stop!” she cried out. “We have to save my sister!” Roan stopped running, and turned to look at her. “You should have stayed in the fort.” “But I wanted to see you!“ cried Layane. “But you obviously know your sister better,“ he said.

Is... Roan jealous that Layane cares about her sister more than him, a boy who she has only known for two weeks and who tried to kill her a week ago?

“I know a way to save her,“ Layane said Calmly. “I can show you and you can help me if we just turn back!“ He sighed. “Ok, I’ll do this for you,“ he said. “How?“

"UGHHHHHH. Fine, babe. I guess I'll go save your fucking sister. If I have to."

“The cold air is generated by a large fan-thing,“ she said. “There has to be a way to switch it off.“

The Hivemind said ice could withstand an insane amount of pressure, and showed off a magic little robot thing (where is the Puridonne, anyway?) that made the massive ice cubes, but... sure. Getting rid of the fan will fix this.

Or... Roan, how about you grab your crystal, which I assume you still have, say 'Flairishia' and get her to come and melt everything?

Nah.

They ran back to the cave, and sneaked in through the door. Layane led Roan to the huge machine, and pointed to it. “We need something to jam it,“ she said.

Flawless plan. Not sure what they mean by 'door' though.

They find a rock to jam the fan's blades, rather than unplugging it from the generator it must be plugged into. I guess Roan wouldn't know what electricity is, but surely Layane does?

They threw it at the machine, and it sparked, the fan stopped. “It could take some time for the heat to actually go,” said Roan. The machine started to fall. It was falling… falling towards them… “LOOK OUT!” Roan grabbed Layane and pulled her away from it. It made a huge crash and small stones fell from the ceiling.

I get that this is a first draft, but come on. Why did Roan describe the cold air as 'the heat'? How does Roan know how a fan works? Why does everything happen so quickly? Why did the fan fall?

Layane ran up to the ice that Clemant was being held in and put her hand on the side of it. “We’re going to get you out,” she said. But the ice was still metres thick…it would take hours… days, even weeks to unfreeze itself…

I may be wrong, but I don't think Layane would be able to see Clemant in the ice prison if the ice truly was 'metres thick'.

Hate to agree with Roan, but right now Clemant seems pretty unsavable.

Also, there's a man with a gun somewhere. God knows where, because he hasn't been brought up since Layane and Roan ran back into the cave, but somewhere.

“LAYANE!” yelled Roan. Layane turned. She looked behind her. One of the Dying Screams. Right behind her. It had an axe, it swung at her… she screamed and ran…

Oh, right. The titular Dying Screams. Maybe it killed the shooter? Let's be charitable and say yes, even though canonically the Screams and the shooter would be on the same side.

If I really wanted to make Layane have to choose between Clemant and Roan, I could have made it happen here. If I'd given Layane a way to rescue Clemant that was actually working, maybe by picking up a flamethrower or something, she could have been freeing Clemant when Roan was attacked by a Dying Scream. Then, in that moment, Layane would have to decide between rescuing Clemant from freezing to death, or saving Roan.

Instead, it's... this.

Layane sort of chooses Roan, in that she runs away, leaving Clemant trapped in a block of ice (that Layane had no way to free her from).

Roan and Layane kept running… He led her around the fighting, but then they were noticed, their footsteps were too noisy… Layane pulled her swords out of her belt, and held them, ready.

Another good example of, 'where the hell are these characters, El?'

“The human child will die.” “The human child will not,” said Layane.

Presumably the Dying Screams said that. I don't know if they meant Layane or Clemant, nor can I tell from Layane's response who she thinks they meant.

Roan and Layane fight the Dying Screams, but no matter how many times they hit them, the Screams just keep coming back.

“How do they die?” she yelled. “No one has any idea what so ever,” muttered Roan.

I know that they stay alive in the magic book, so Roan is technically telling the truth, but kids: if you thought very long and hard, you'd remember at least one way that's worked to stop them in the past.

For a short while, Roan and Layane continue to fight. Then Roan tells Layane to run, because the Dying Screams won't make like their name and just die already. The Screams also keep hissing, 'The human child will die', which I've just realised they're probably saying because they're under the Hivemind's control, so I guess they mean Layane, seeing as Clemant is already slowly freezing to death.

Something landed on Layane’s head. She looked up. A drop of water had fallen off a nearby tree branch… if they jumped they could reach it, they’d be safe for now… “Look up,” whispered Layane, a the Dying Screams came closer and closer, and Roan jumped upwards, the wind catching his wings and making him fly to the branch, catching onto the tree branch and climbing up. The Dying Screams were angry… they screeched and tried to jump to reach him… obviously they couldn’t fly…

I guess the Dying Screams can't fly. Okay. Hey, apparently there's trees wherever Layane and Roan are!

I'm not sure where the water came from. Did Saphirah make it rain right before the battle? During the battle? I can't remember how her powers work, because I didn't really care about Saphirah. She was just there because I didn't want there to only be four Ladies. I do find it funny that the Lady I cared the least about is the one who became a wife and mother (assuming that her family is unchanged since draft 1).

(...) but then they fixed their glare on Layane… “The human child will die.” Layane jumped, but missed the branch, Roan was taller than her, he may have got up easily but she couldn’t…

Wait... didn't Roan carry her up? He can fucking fly and he didn't carry her up?

She jumped again, her fingers skimming the branch, but she couldn’t grab onto it, it was much too slippery… “Layane!” yelled Roan. He reached down as far as he could from the branch he was on, Layane jumped again, and grabbed his hand, but the Dying Screams had grown impatient… A searing pain in her stomach… She screamed… Roan pulled her up… The blood… She blacked out.

You fucking suck, Roan. You don't even deserve the mug. That would be too kind a gift, because even though it's proclaiming you're the worst, the mug would still be a functional, useful item.

Credit to sassattackmugs on Etsy. If you want to buy a mug for your terrible boyfriend, apparently that's the place.

[pluckyredhead]

It's time for more Fourth World thoughts! Previously I've covered the comics of the 70s, 80s, and 90s. Now let's talk about the 2000s.

Orion (2000): AHHHHHHH. If you read no other Fourth World book (besides Kirby ofc), please read this one. It is so good and it is so epic and Orion makes so many well intentioned bad decisions and suffers so much. I devoured all 25 issues in 2 days and immediately wanted to reread it. Writing and art are both Walt Simonson and he gives this book such tragic grandeur. He also does my favorite thing which is multiple slow-burning subplots, some of which lasted so long that I was afraid they wouldn't be resolved, but no, every loose end is wrapped up in a satisfying (ish) way by the last issue and I love everyone in this bar. And the art! THE ART!!!

So basically, Orion kills Darkseid (again lol) and becomes the new ruler of Apokolips, and decides he is going to drag this planet over to the side of good kicking and screaming, which...doesn't work out so well for him. Ultimately he winds up semi-accidentally in possession of the Anti-Life Equation, which allows him to completely control people, so he uses it to force people to be good, which...baby, no. This series is like 40% Orion whump, 35% Orion being a badass, 5% Lightray and Orion being blatantly in love, 5% Scott and Orion making dramatic gestures of brotherly devotion, and 5% Orion wearing a stupid hat that I unironically wish I could buy and wear.

It looks like his helmet! I NEED IT.

Also, during his Stupid Hat Era, Orion briefly acquires an orphan girl sidekick, and like...look at my icon. This is my GREATEST WEAKNESS. Simonson, why did you come for me like that???

I have only two quibbles with this series:

1. It's the early 2000s so the only female characters of any significance (besides the aforementioned orphan girl sidekick) are femme fatales who are drawn in ludicrously skimpy outfits and sex inch heels. Now to be fair, Darkseid wears a miniskirt, but the degree of cheesecake of these two characters was ridiculous.

2. The last issue reveals that Scott possesses the Anti-Life Equation naturally, and he once accidentally killed dozens of people with it, and he's tormented by both of these things. Which...the actual issue this story is told in is really good, and I think it's a really interesting idea to have Scott possess the Equation, but I don't love the idea of weighing down this optimistic character who values freedom above all with such a traumatic history of, uh, accidental mass murder. He already grew up in a torture orphanage! Hasn't he suffered enough?!

But honestly, the overall series is so good that I'll let it slide. PLEASE READ ORION (2000). THANK YOU.

Seven Soldiers: Mister Miracle (2005): This is part of a set of miniseries Grant Morrison did: there was Seven Soldiers #0, and then 7 4-issue minis, one for each of the Soldiers, and then the whole story concluded in Seven Soldiers #1. I only read Seven Soldiers and the Mister Miracle miniseries because I'm a ridiculous person when it comes to reading comics, but I'm not going to read 24 issues that have nothing to do with the Fourth World.

Anyway, the Mister Miracle mini is actually about Shilo Norman, not Scott, and it's pretty good, even if Shilo should know perfectly well who Darkseid and his entourage are. The surrounding issues were incomprehensible, but maybe they would have made more sense if I had read all the other minis. On the other hand, maybe not...this is Morrison we're talking about, after all. Anyway talk about making comics as inaccessible as possible. Great job, everyone.

Death of the New Gods (2007): I knew right away this comic was going to be dogshit because of a) the title and b) the fact that it's a tie-in to the worst event DC has ever published, Countdown to Final Crisis, but hoo boy, it is DOGSHIT.

Basically, some mysterious being starts murdering New Gods, starting with Lightray and Barda, the latter of whom is murdered in the kitchen - you know, where women belong. Scott then dons a truly idiotic goth version of his costume and the rest of the book is mainly Scott, Orion, and Superman flailing around aimlessly and failing to figure out who the killer is while everyone from New Genesis and Apokolips is slaughtered. It's a truly godawful murder mystery in which implausible suspects are accused at absolute random (the Forever People, the pacifist hippies! Orion, the least sneaky being in existence!) even though Superman deduces the killer (sort of) in #5 and tells the other characters, so there's no reason for them to still be trying to solve it.

Anyway at the risk of ruining this comic for you (impossible, it comes pre-ruined), the killer turns out to be the Infinity Man, but he's actually being piloted by the Source, which is eradicating the New Gods and harvesting their energy in order to create a Fifth World. In #7, a horrified Scott is like "But I've worshiped you all my life! Don't you care about any of us?" and the Source is like, "Eh." The most spiritual and reverent aspect of the Fourth World, and Jim Starlin came along and just dropped a little turd right on top of it (after, of course, blatantly copying Darkseid when he created Thanos).

The art (also by Starlin) is hideous, and the plotting is atrocious, as he desperately tries to stretch six issues of story at best into eight, plus dragging each issue out over 30 pages instead of the normal 22. Everyone is wildly out of character. The only vaguely good thing about the book is that Scott and Orion finally get to spend a significant amount of time together, but given the context, I really don't think it's worth it.

In conclusion: "rocks fall, everyone dies" turns out to not be a good idea for a story! Who knew!

Final Crisis (2008): Well, after 16 years of successfully avoiding this story, I finally read it. You win this one, Morrison.

I have avoided Final Crisis since it came out because it felt so emblematic to me of the worst of late 2000s DC: literally constant crossovers with histrionic stakes, characters being slaughtered left and right, whatever the fuck they did to Mary Marvel in this story. I know it has a good reputation, and if I'm being honest, I do think the first 5 1/2 issues of it are pretty good. On the other hand, if I wasn't very familiar with 2000s DC, I think this would be a very confusing book to read, the final 1 1/2 issues dissolve into incomprehensible, self-indulgent nonsense full of obscure characters and OCs randomly dropped in just to make it all harder for the reader. I'm sorry, I know many people consider Morrison's habit of writing comics that you need a companion volume, twenty Wikipedia tabs, and a Reddit forum to understand to be a feature, not a bug, but it infuriates me. It's like the structure of the Seven Soldiers series(es) up above. Aren't comics impenetrable enough? Must we gatekeep with every page?

Anyway the New Gods stuff: they're all dead, but all the evil ones managed to land on Earth as disembodied souls, and are possessing various humans. The only good one is Orion, who dies at the very beginning when he is shot by Darkseid in the future shooting him with a bullet that travels back in time. I love goofy comics shit but for some reason this one strikes me as real dumb. Also Orion literally died twice in the comic that was about all the New Gods dying, so...hm.

Anyway the evil New Gods take over the planet with the Anti-Life Equation, and again, the pacing and storytelling are actually really good for most of this. But there's also all the worst the late 2000s had to offer, like Mary Marvel in the WORST costume of all time and Supergirl flashing panty shots at the reader while they beat each other up and call each other sluts, or Tawky Tawny being beaten to a pulp before ripping out Kalibak's entrails. Tawky fucking Tawny. SIGH. Also they keep miscoloring Shilo as white. NOT GREAT.

Honestly at this point I'm like begging for the New 52 to happen and put me out of my misery, so...good job, DC? I want to go back to Orion (2000), that was great.

Next up: the 2010s! Which is all the New Gods books, they haven't had a series yet this decade. We're almost done, gang.

[le-chevalier-au-lion]

would absolutely love to hear directors commentary for ‘did you run here?’ if you have any thoughts you’re up for sharing ?

alright. did you run here? is my love/hate relationship fic. i like it, i like the premise, i like the results, but i always think that i'm biting way more than i can chew, and every time i think about it i discover that i've run into another plot hole

i wish i could work more on it, but it's that one idea that's entirely dependent on my strikes of inspiration. which does mean that i end up writing it in a frenzy

so more plot holes, more timing wanting to crack my head against a wall, more time before i can think about touching it, more sentences worded very clunkily. it's the fic that i received most comments understanding something from passages entirely different from my intention, and then i go reread it and find that it's mostly because i worded it really confusingly or operating in adhd logic leaps

“Prove it to me,” he repeats. The words come up like bloody petals lodged in his chest. “Prove it to me that you’ve fucking tried to not die at least once.” The mania bleeds out of Marc. He gets serious, suddenly. Stone-faced. Hollow. Valentino has seen footage of it happening dozens, hundreds of time. The folded set of his hands, in front of his body. His wide, doll-like eyes. Sepang, Sepang, it’s always Sepang. “Valentino,” he says, very calmly. He kicked me, “get out.”

i love this sequence so much, though. zero trouble with it. the best part about did you run here? is mixing repeating loops with the repeating past

it's always sepang. it's sepang in 2005 against sete. it's the two crashes in sepang 2011. it's the sword of damocles hanging over sepang 2014. it's sepang 2015

it's sepang 2025, ten years later, the wound still firmly in place as ever

you have all the hits, really. you have valentino wildly irrational, lashing out and working on conspiracies. you have marc first wounded, then empty, then furious and ready to kill over it. accusations in sepang, demands of proof

[theinfamousdoctorf]

I have to write (many, I'm suffering) poems for a university assignment and I've been using fics and ships from TSAMS and DCA as inspo to get me through this (I very much don't like poetry nor am I great at it lol) and this was the sonnet I attempted to write based on your fic EMHM and Sun/Eclipse. Figured I might as well show you, I hope you don't mind sorry lol. Feel free to ignore this haha, and I'm sorry it's not good lmao. Anyway, adore your fic loads! Makes my day any time I see an update! I'll definitely be rereading once I'm done with assignment hell

Persisting Bond

Despite all I have done to find pleasure in your torment, You still offered your hand as I lay defeated, broken. Undaunted and stubborn as a deeply rooted tree in the face of my malcontent, Your optimism in my recovery seemed so naïve, pointless, but something in me was awoken.

You held me close, spitting and snarling without any true fight left for rebuttal, You took my missing pieces and tied them together like a delicate tapestry. Your love was never something quite so subtle, Determined and kind, nothing in you allowed for pointless stagnancy.

Cut from the same cloth the two of us are, entwined like a red silk ribbon, Flowing and sliding against the other, two halves of the same coin, melted and reforged. Is it any wonder that your smile, your guile, left me so smitten? Our lives brought us together and apart, but now that you have held me with such care I can’t help but to feel engorged.

Our experiences and hardships are nothing quite so binary, So long as I am who you love, you are the one I pledge to marry.

;_; See this is why comments and feedback on fanwork is so important. You think this is not a good poem? ... I dated a guy for six years who was both a writer of stories and had written three entire books of poetry. I painted his portrait at least a dozen times. Not once did he ever write a poem for me. It's beautiful and I love it. Thank you.

[hamlets-bootycheeks]

I've been watching LotR the last few days (cause why watch something I haven't seen before from my incredibly long list of things I need to watch when I can watch something I've seen before a ton) and I just want to talk about radical hope.

The story of LotR is bleak. Just. So incredibly hopeless. There are so many points where the characters just genuinely have no hope that they will live, let alone save the world.

During Return of the King, there is a literal darkness that covers the world for days. The only hope there is for success is a couple hobbits. Who are walking through enemy territory. With one thing that would instantly guarantee success to the enemy.

And in the end Frodo fails.

Despite all of this

They kept hoping.

Frodo failed and all was lost.

But it wasn't.

They saved everything.

They didn't make it through unscarred. Many people didn't make it through at all. But they did make it.

But they wouldn't have if they'd given up.

Sam's speech at the end of The Two Towers left me in tears. (It normally doesn't.)

Lately I've been feeling incredibly hopeless. I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to figure out what I want to do for a living, and I'm currently working towards something that I have so little chance of succeeding in. I'm paying so much money to go to school for this.

Beyond just me, I'm terrified for the upcoming election for obvious reasons. I live in a country where we already have a maternal mortality rate that's way too fucking high and people are actively working to make that worse. I live in a country where there are people who don't think I and the people I love deserve to exist. I live in a country where the highest cause of death for children is guns.

I live in a world where there is an active genocide going on and no one gives a shit. I live in a world where the deadliest disease has a cure, but why would we give them access to that? The people dying from it are poor. They're poor because of us. I live in a world that those in power are slowly destroying.

But I'm here. We're all here. And there's so much bad. But there's so much good.

I went to a convention last month, and it was the most fun I'd ever had. I want to do that again.

I got invited to go to a pumpkin patch with a friend next week.

I just finished rereading Hamlet.

I have motivation to write and tell stories for the first time in years.

I made a new friend this year.

I still haven't finished listening to Welcome to Nightvale.

Alecto the Ninth isn't out yet.

I had a friend help me out yesterday.

I helped out a different friend.

There are stars in the sky.

The leaves are turning colors and falling and it's so beautiful.

I watched a movie that I've seen at least a dozen times before and it made me cry.

It feels so hopeless.

But that's not a reason to give up hope.

We gotta fight for what we've got. I'm going to fight tooth and nail even if all it means is that I get to see one more sunset, read one more book that changes me, meet one more person who gets me.

I don't care if you can donate a thousand dollars to a charity, or if all you can do is just stick around for another day because you know that you will feel joy again at some point, that's what you gotta do.

It might get worse.

We might not see things get better.

But it will get better again. And before it does, there will still be moments of joy. And the chance that we'll see everything get better, the chance that we'll see anything get better, that's worth sticking around for.

That's radical hope.

Sam: It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.

Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?

Sam: That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo… and it’s worth fighting for.

[kunosoura]

14. :)

14. Favorite book read this year: I reread The Iron Dragon's Daughter and it's still maybe my favorite book ever but if we restrict it to new books... woof, it's been kind of a bum year for me. I spent a lot of the summer listening to the Crown of Stars series by Kate Elliot and while it had ~promise~ in the beginning, what a dud those turned out to be. She was tired of writing them by the end and I was tired of reading them. I caught up on the Cosmere stuff that'd been released since I last cared about the series; Tress was mid, Yumi was mid, but Sunlit Man was pretty good, and now I'm chewing through Wind and Truth on my commutes and enjoying it. Exordia was really good even if I was frustrated by those two gay ass cops and their undue pagetime. Land of Milk and Honey had excellent prose and absolutely nothing interesting to say. Fourth Wing and Iron Flame's initial novelty of having zero shame about using twenty-tens young adult novel tropes and conventions in 2024 wore off as it became clear it was actually about how the military is actually good. Weaver and the Witch Queen was a little paint by numbers and did nothing with the little bits of pathos it stumbled into.

Sorry, I know that's a bunch of kvetching with no clear answer, but my options are a book I've already read like half a dozen times, a Brandon Sanderson novel, a Brandon Sanderson novel I'm not even a quarter of the way through, and Exordia which I didn't find as mindblowing as some but it was the book I most enjoyed of the rest. I guess Exordia.

[thebiscuiteternal]

HHi there B-girl, is it still on? Then I would have this prompt here: Modern time, Roommate Au, SangYao.

Huaisang has nightmares to the point of rather dealing with sleep deprivation than going to bed. Meng Yao has insomnia and uses the time to study. If he goes out of his way to coax the barely functioning friend-shaped thing of a person into bed here and there, that's a win.

This can be fluff but also dark!

We're running until midnight!

------------

It wasn't his ears that told him to go check the kitchenette of their 'family' dorm, but well-honed instinct. Clicking his music player closed and leaving his headphones behind, Meng Yao got up and headed past the other two bedrooms and, sure enough, there was a blanket-swaddled lump huddled against the cabinets.

"The same one as the rest of this week, or something different?" he asked as he crouched down.

The response was an unintelligible mumble from within the blanket.

He shifted his weight to put one knee down for balance and reached out, sucking air in through his teeth when he saw the condition his roommate was in. "Huaisang... when is the last time you slept? Slept, not passed out," he said, then clarified when Huaisang opened his mouth.

Nie Huaisang hesitated, glazed eyes flickering as though he was actually trying to figure out the answer, then he gave a little shrug. "Either when the meds stopped working or when the alcohol did," he finally admitted.

Oh... damn.

Meng Yao remembered when Huaisang had mentioned he'd developed a tolerance to even the dangerous dosages of over the counter sleep aids. That had been over a month ago. And the alcohol he'd started self-medicating with after, that Meng Yao had lectured him and threatened to call his brother over...

He exhaled hard. "Huaisang... you need to get actual licensed help for this."

"Tch. My grades aren't that bad."

"I'm not talking about your grades," Meng Yao barely restrained himself from snapping in frustration. "I'm talking about you. Your body can't keep up like this."

Huaisang's response to that was as indecipherable as his first, and Meng Yao sighed, shifting onto both knees so he could pull his roommate into his arms.

He didn't bother to ask if the nightmares were really that bad. He'd done that once before, early in the year, and the description Huaisang had given him about being subjected to repeated gruesome murders by things supernatural and non over dozens of past lives had left him with nightmares for the rest of the week.

Well... there was one option that would help, at least for one night.

"Hey," he said gently. "How about I stay with you tonight?"

Nie Huaisang raised his head just a little. Not enough for his face to be visible under the blanket-hood, but enough that Meng Yao had felt it. "You have an exam tomorrow."

"Honestly, at this point, I'm already as prepared as I could possibly be. I'm rereading my notes just to be rereading my notes."

There was a long silence, and then- "Okay. Thank you."

Meng Yao carefully helped Nie Huaisang to his feet, not missing the way his roommate's balance wavered. Even if Huaisang had given up on trying to use alcohol to knock himself out, he was sleep deprived enough that he swayed like a several-bars drunk, and Meng Yao had to put an arm around his waist to keep him from pitching face first into a doorframe.

It was a relief when they both collapsed onto the dorm bed that was barely wide enough to hold them both, even tangled into each other as they were.

"I've got you," Meng Yao murmured. "Go to sleep."

"Thank you," Nie Huaisang said again.

And then he was out, and Meng Yao was left to think as he stared at the tiny stripes of light that peeked through the blinds of the window behind Huaisang.

If Huaisang wouldn't accept modern medicine's help, maybe it was time to resort to more drastic, esoteric measures.

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

Tumblr Fandom: A Year in Review 2023

Tagged by @mistmarauder and I'm pretty sure I'm contractually obligated to do as she says so...

Top Five Blorbos: Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley, Patrick Jane, Edgin Darvis, Xenk Yendar

Top Five Fandoms: 9-1-1, Fast & Furious, Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves, The Mentalist, The Witcher

Top Five OTPs: Buddie, Xedgin, whatever the hell Dom/Brian is called (there is so little fanfic for them I am weeping), Jisbon, House/Shenanigans uh I mean House/Wilson/Cuddy

Shoutout to Some New Friends: @princessfbi and @tulipfromtheinternet have been very kind to me, leaving treats out on their porches for me to sniff. I even let them pet me after a few months of slowly earning my trust!

Shoutout to Some Old Friends: @mistmarauder and @catdadeddie are two friends I grew closer with this year, and have done a lot to restore my trust in people. They've put up with an unfair amount of prickliness and distrust on my part with grace and love. @evcndiaz has also put up with me dropping into her inbox with fun (horrifying) facts about human anatomy, which earns her a gold medal. And of course @givemeunicorns @devilsbrokerank @captainofthefallen and @extasiswings continue to be my rocks and remind me that there are good people in this world, and that some of those good people might actually love me.

Favorite Creation You Posted This Year: Genuinely I feel like with my Halloween fics I have done the best work in my fanfiction career. I'm shocked at how proud I am of the fanfics I put out this year, including my Wednesday fic and my Xedgin fics. It's impossible for me to choose a favorite.

Favorite Creation Posted by Someone Else This Year: @kittykatthetacodemon had me reading fic for fandoms and ships I'm not even in or shipping? she's just that fucking good? holy shit go watch Mag7 and then read her fics just. just do it.

People Who Brightened Your Year: @lisbonsteresa always and forever brightens my days, and it was a delight this year to be in the same fandom again as she got me hooked on The Mentalist, @mistmarauder always makes me laugh even (especially) when she's roasting me, and @extasiswings helped me get away from the real world a couple times when I needed it.

Anyone Else You'd Like to Mention: I'm so grateful to all of my readers, always. Your enthusiasm and comments are what keep me going. Thank you thank you thank you.

Five of Your Favorite Authors This Year: I'll be honest I have barely read any fanfic this year since I simply haven't had time but a quick shout out again to @kittykatthetacodemon because Mist forced me to read her fanfics at gunpoint and I've never been so happy to be at gunpoint after reading them. I've reread her Hobbs & Shaw fics literally a dozen times, she nails the hysterical over-the-top banter from the F&F films and it has me giggling every time.

Oh and @henswilsons. Forever and always making me laugh with your delightful fics. Never stop, dear.

Five of Your Favorite Artists/Gifmakers/Podficcers/Etc. This Year: @captain-hen so many times I see a gifset that makes me insane and it's by you, you menace. @like-the-rest-of-la lovely art from a lovely person. @bucksketch you make art that has me screeching and twirling my hair and kicking my feet. @mistmarauder your podfics, babe, you know how much I adore them. Um I'm terrible at remembering urls (I'm even worse with names). Uh. Um. Uhhhh. Uhhhhhhh... *we're all still waiting days later*

Three Things You're Looking Forward to in 2024: 9-1-1 SEASON SEVEN BABEEEEEEY

[lord-squiggletits]

I know "numbers of hits and kudos isn't everything" discourse is a common topic, but I actually had an instance of falling for the numbers trap for a second that made me feel really bad about my writing despite the fact that I'm a pretty popular/prolific writer.

I was looking at my individual fic stats and realized that the majority of my fics have 2,000 hits or less, even ones that have been out for a year or more, and especially the ones with rarepairs, less popular characters, or gen fic. My top 5 most popular fics have remained virtually unchanged in the 4 years I've started writing for this fandom. A good 20%+ of my total hits and kudos only come from those top 5 fics.

But the thing is that all of those top 5 fics? Were among the first few fics I ever wrote, which means they've had the longest amount of time to gather stats. One of them was a multichapter fic that took a year and a half to write, during which I would get surges of new hits and kudos every chapter update. The other 4 are fics from the same PWP series of a top fandom ship, meaning that they would get repeated hits over and over again from people rereading the series (mostly composed of easy to read one-shots). And, again, are some of the oldest fics I've written, and one of them is a multichapter fic that would've gotten more hits from being uploaded one chapter at a time as people visited updates one at a time and read along the way.

Idk, it was just a moment that put things in perspective for me that sometimes your most popular fics aren't a matter of quality or people just "not liking" your work, but merely a numbers game with regard to age and the way the hits system works. I also noticed that I was adopting a toxic mindset of treating certain fics as "unpopular" or "not liked" just because they weren't above a certain number of hits (multiple thousands), which is silly because even getting a thousand hits and several tens/dozens of people leaving kudos is a lot.

I think the pitfall of going by numbers on AO3 is basically that you spend your time as an author judging your popularity/quality based on the numbers you DON'T have and expecting all of your works to be equally popular in metrics, which is simply unrealistic due to a number of reasons (time of release, trends in the individual fandom, specific tags/characters/ships that might be more popular than others, multichapter vs oneshot, etc).

Basically just imagine the "holy shit two cakes" meme but inside of your own AO3 profile. "Aw that one fic only has a few hundred hits compared to my other fic that has thousands" versus "oh boy, people accessed/read my work hundreds of times!"

[onethverse]

OC-Tober catch-up! days 2-5

Prev: Day 1 | #loz oc

oops all LoZ ocs.

2: NEW OC

Oneth (wunth) ([wʌnθ])

Oneth is dying of memory. A spirit whose power flourishes in darkness, it was weakened as Hyrule left the Calamity behind and entered a new era of peace and enlightenment. Although every mouth that utters its name brings it closer to its death, Oneth still revealed itself to Sabel, and the two formed a pact. To erase the burden of memory from the world, easing Sabel's suffering and grief while saving his mysterious friend's life. It cannot be seen. Oneth is a small, slight creature that glows with a faint light, much like a fairy; absent is the cheery tinkling of fairy bells. It is nearly a foot in height and has wings and long, tangled appendages. Its fish-like gaze betrays a desire to see all swallowed by the abyss. Its domain is oblivion and the lightless abyssal depths of the sea.

how recently did you make them?

Last November probably. So I do have newer ocs. But they needs images :( regarding its design:

i had the idea of an anti-fairy with fish attributes for a little while, but it clicked into place after playing some Ico recently. I had to draw the thing at the intersection of Yorda, Seath the scaleless, and rabbit fish (chimaera monstrosa.) One of my other inspirations for this character was Jenna Moran's oeuvre of RPGs like Nobilis and Glitch. Never even played them I just follow people on tumblr who post about them nonstop

3: OLD OC

now this is crazy. via: maples.im

how long ago did you make them?

Seyches began as my MapleStory character when I started playing around 2005.

Sorry, I've had to reread that sentence about a dozen times now. It's been how long?

In his first iteration, he was an exiled prince with eyes that changed colors based on emotion, in a love triangle with two or more demon boyfriends, and eternally escaping some dungeon or being caged somewhere.

Also, he was called into duty as a silly pirate's first mate and pyrotechnics expert; such are the demands of irc rp.

credit: cata_dioptric, trubadui (via picrew)

Seyches (I already have his IPA right here, so I'll drop it: [sɛʃ]) is a lonely 30-year-old dude. He has a job as a scrivener, but moonlights as a forger. In his spare time, he’s writing a historical play about Gerudo kings. He likes coffee and cats. He is a trans man, born female and living as a man; a move regarded by some as “not Gerudo-like.” Irrelevant.

He's a former "business partner" of Domri, who pretends not to know Seyches despite being well acquainted. He has an ability to suss out people's secrets, so after meeting Sabel and Ark he becomes aware of both their bizarre obsession with each other and the potential doom they intend to bring upon the world. Well, he's neither a user of powerful magic nor a ninja swordsman, so the best he can do is play mind games with them.

⭐ 4: UNDER-APPRECIATED OC

an oc you feel like you don't talk about enough, or you haven't fleshed out as much as you would like

Anika, whose name I misspelled in my previous post, and who I fridged...Um, if there's anything I'd like to say to women, it's this: I'm sorry women.

Here's what we know: she was a girl who liked to sing, chase boys, and privately harbor grandiose dreams. After the birth of her only child, he became her primary obsession. Btw, the father is unknown, but according to genetic testing on the only chromosome he didn't inherit from her (wait, I count 47 here?) we have narrowed down the most likely candidates to Jareth the Goblin King and aliens from ufos. So anyway, Anika and her parthenogenetic clone were able to comfortably get by once the child started talking to fairies, who would lead him to places where caches of treasure had been hidden long ago by people who hoped to retrieve it after the apocalypse.

credit: z idk their socials

This is just another picture of Sabel but they're almost identical to each other. Sabel is taller and has smaller tits I guess

At least Anika has tumblr posts I can associate w/ her even if it's 1. an x-files gifset: “But the baby’s father is an alien?” / “No, no, I didn’t say he was an alien, I said he was from another planet. His name is Luke Skywalker. He’s what’s known as a Jedi Knight.” 2. "splish splash, hobbit overboard"

5: RE-DESIGNED OC

credit: The Illoganatii

an oc who has changed a lot (what changed about them?) or, if you haven't redesigned an oc: is there anything you might want to change about an existing oc?

Ark has been around about as long as Seyches, originating as a doodle based on the main character of Pokemon Trozei, which I read about in Nintendo Power and have never played. Regrettably it was drawn on the back of my state standardized test so I could never have it back.

He was a ponytail girl with a blue beret. and a blonde. He became a copium ranger/repressed ninja. For my own satisfaction, I thought I could make a strongly ftm-coded cis male character, but something else happened.

He's a man but he's a child. He's in love with his murderer. He knows he's being manipulated and he can see through Sabel’s lies. He's a puppet he's a doll. He's sick and full of twisted grief. And he's your next president/owner of the Triforce of wisdom. Wisdom?! I wish I’d been born a… The wanter.

if i redesigned an oc now it would be oneth bc if i had to draw that thing repeatedly i would simply replace it with a fish head with wings

Thanks for reading :3

[gohandinhand]

1, 15, 16, 20 for book asks!

eeee fun thank you!

1. book you’ve reread the most times? this is hard actually because i'm a major rereader/rewatcher but just since last year i've got to be approaching two dozen rereads of the scholomance books (including being in the middle of the golden enclaves again rn), so... probably that. scholomance my beloved 🥰 (big thank you to ollie for getting me hooked on these originally!)

15. recommend and review a book. i recently finished How High We Go in the Dark by Sequoia Nagamatsu and it was INCREDIBLE. quite dark, very centered around grief (what else is new) but will make you go insane in a mostly good way. there's a chapter about an amusement park that will haunt you (both negative and positive). incredible ending. 10/10 no notes

16. how many books have you read this year? i don't track it super closely, but scrolling through my list of library loans maybe a bit over 30? (plus a handful of DNFs) 20. what are things you look for in a book? lately, female narrator has been a big one because i cannot seem to give a shit about male narrators. i tend towards scifi/fantasy so interesting, fleshed-out worldbuilding is a must. anti-capitalist messages are a bonus lmao. this feels like a gimme, but it has to be well-written (still fuming about the many recommendations i got for fourth wing & the comparisons between that series and scholomance. that shit was awful 💀)