#I've read all the stories before but don't remember anything about the solution to this one

[silver-grasp]

Is anyone else taking today's Letters from Watson as a cryptography exercise?

[zachdefense]

can't stop thinking about how Gnosia is the absolute weirdest game I've ever played from a design perspective (complementary). How did they ever make a single-player social-deduction roguelike visual novel with rpg elements? How did they make it so good?

It's a classic Werewolf/Mafia game in space. The roguelike nature means it's actually a puzzle you have to figure out each time, instead of just picking up on story hints and foreshadowing. And you not only get to learn things about the other players, you have to get to know them to know how to read and manipulate them. Where other games need you to learn "After you dodge twice, the boss is open to attacks", Gnosia needs you to learn "Jonas will always trust Kurushka, so if you're suspicious of her then you should make sure he doesn't have many allies either" or "People really like Otome so don't accuse her of anything before building up some goodwill of your own". It's been a couple years since I played it but I still remember all of these character interactions because they're not only fun characters in the story, but understanding them is integral to the actual gameplay.

And speaking of gameplay, the rpg elements are just perfect. Your stats are things like "Draw less attention from the imposters when you're outspoken in trials" and "People trust your accusations more". By putting those things in plain text as stats they can be changed, it makes the player keep them in mind as game mechanics. If you get killed off early, it feels less like "wow the rng sucks" and more like "maybe I should accuse people less and so I don't get targeted, even if it means more people getting killed". It's a great way of making sure that these mechanics aren't just tutorialized once and forgotten, but that they're top of mind as solutions to problems.

They made it all mesh together so well. And I haven't even talked about the story yet, the story is also real good, but the design is just *chef's kiss*

[bonefall]

Hi Bones!! Thank you for you hard work on this project and for sharing it with us!

I've seen your posts about weird representation of society (regarding the "natural order of things") in xenofiction, especially in lion king, so I wanted to ask:

could you recommend any xenofiction media that has all (or most of the) animal species sapient? Or is the only solution to make just one or two species sapient while the others (especially prey) are plain animals?

Really sorry if you've seen this ask from me before - my account had a weird laggy period when I couldn't send or receive messages and asks, so I don't know if you got the previous one! I just know that now it's fixed so I double all the asks sent haha

Honestly I'm not totally sure! If any 3rd person has some good recommendations for "every being is alive" xenofiction types, feel free to weigh in.

If you want to jump in with me though, I am following the webcomic Africa. It updates every Wednesday. Africa is about a mother Leopard on the verge of a great ecological disaster, the relationship between her children and the animals around her, and the strength of both instinct and choice as the characters face an uncertain future.

Since it's ongoing, I still don't know how it's going to end and can't judge it as a full work! But it's absolutely fascinating and I think the author is doing a fantastic job so far. Bonus points for the way it portrays humans, btw.

No more spoilers though, if you're interested, it's on Webtoons.

(I'm also planning to read Oren's Forge soon. Ask me about it again in a few months over on Bonebabbles and I'll give you my thoughts)

As an aside though, funny you mention it because like... ever since I was a kid I've had a story I want to tell with the premise. It's a scintilla I've kept close to me for well over a decade but haven't done anything official with. So this is actually a theme I've thought about a lot.

It's rare to see it done well though because like... its very premise butts heads with reality. The "natural order" that an animal follows is not something it moralizes. A tiger doesn't have the capacity to think about how fucked up it is to kill to stay alive, the deer doesn't know that if its population isn't controlled it will destroy the forest.

They're animals. They don't HAVE that agency. Your dog does not care about being sterilized. A snake doesn't differentiate between a pinky and an adult mouse except in terms of if it will fit in its mouth. But the minute you put human morality in there... they have the ability to reason, create and agree on the rules of a society, make choices about MORALITY.

If nothing is going to change about their world, you just end up putting human arguments about "natural order" in their mouths and, well... start telling a parable justifying this "natural order."

(Genuine) Does what I'm saying make sense? Animals DON'T rationalize or negotiate. HUMANS do.

So the minute you're approaching a world with that logic, like it or not, you are invoking those "arguments from nature." And you're putting them in a being that is not fully an animal or a human, but an anthropomorphic mix which CAN rationalize but WON'T make an effort to change their world.

(Which is why tbh the best examples i know of are works with a theme of "change.")

OH WAIT I also remember another that's interesting!! Leafy: Hen into the Wild actually has a fascinating take on it. It's not interested in "moralizing" or really being about an animal society. It's a very emotional sort of movie, and it's about joys in adversity, the freedom that choice gives you, how bad things are going to happen and you can never completely prevent them.

INTENSE movie emotionally, the ending will wreck you (especially in the English translation which leaves out a really important theme making it feel abrupt x_x) but it's really good. Check that one out.

OH and also You Are Umasou. That one has more pitfalls imo (it does try to moralize a bit) but it's super unique as a movie. And is about dinosaurs.

[keydekyie]

𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕄𝕠𝕥𝕙 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝔹𝕖𝕒𝕣

~Frequently asked questions~

Wondering what the hell that human-faced bear monster was that you saw on your dash? Can't figure out whether it's supposed to be scary or cute? Confused deeply?

Well do I have the solution for you: All your questions answered, and more!

First of all: what am I looking at?

The creature you've seen is called a Kanai. They're basically a sphinx, a creature with a human face, but instead of the body of a lion, it's a bear! It's not that weird! (right?) Oh, and they're also the size of a house. Don't worry about it, it's fine. It's fine.

What is this setting?

The story is set in my headworld, which is a sort of an alternate-reality Earth, and specifically in a country called Kellabor. Here's a big worldbuilding dump if you're curious, but there's no need to read it all before diving into the books. You'll discover everything important along the way.

So there are books?

Yes! I've written three books in the series, and am working on the fourth and final book. I have a masterpost explaining them with content warnings here.

Okay but what is the story about? What happens?

It's a very PG (maybe edging on PG-13 in the fourth book) slow-burn fantasy romance adventure story with a dash of horror.

Oh, so there's romance?

Yep! It's been planned that way since the first words I put down. If you get through the first two books and are wondering where the hell the romance happens, just remember: it's a slow burn. A sloooow burn. We'll get there.

How many books are there going to be?

So far, I'm planning on four. Originally, I had three planned, but the second one was getting too long and I had to split it in half. That's why book II: The Crossing ends on a cliffhanger. Don't worry, it's not going to take four books to get to the cute parts.

Is there going to be a happy ending?

Yes! Yes, I promise there will be a happy ending. Might not, uh... seem very likely, at times, but yes.

What's the inspiration behind this story?

If you want a long, somewhat-spoilery answer, you can read this, but the tl;dr non-spoilery version is:

I wanted to write a story about a monster and a human where the monster is the one facing the ethical dilemma, and they come to be friends and care about each other. And go on adventures. And love each other.

Wait, so... are the giant bear monsters the good guys?

Um... yes and no. There really aren't clear good guys or bad guys in this story. I'm going to have to ask you to have a bit of an open mind, here.

Okay, but I swear I saw a gif of one of these monsters eating someone. Was that from this?

Yeah, that gif is from a side-project set in the same world. It's a little more explicit than anything that happens on screen in TMatB, but let's just say it's not... uncharacteristic. That's the dash of horror I mentioned.

Listen... it's the dash of horror that makes the cute stuff that much cuter. The horror is the flavor. Trust me on this one.

Wait so if the bear monsters eat people, how are they not obviously the bad guys?

It's complicated! You'll find nothing is black and white here in Kellabor. The country has a long, mysterious, complex history, and so do each of my characters.

Okay but... what happens, though? Who's this girl I keep seeing in these drawings? Why does it sometimes seem like they are enemies and sometimes not?

The protagonists start out in conflict in book I due to ✨circumstances✨. They have a lot of issues to work out. Depending on where they are in the story, drawings of them might show them being more antagonistic or more sweet. It'll all make sense with context.

I'm still confused...

Ask box is always open! ♥️

You can get the books on my webbed site: graceohare.com

[polyamorousmood]

My gf (mtf) is fairly monogamous but I'm not necessarily, especially with sex. I have an offer from our mutual male friend (cis) to try penetration since I (afab nb) am terrified but curious about it and he's one of the only cis guys I'd feel comfortable trying that with. I have hooked up with him once before, prior to meeting my gf, and it was really good. My gf is fairly supportive about it, one of the things that really works for us sex-wise is that neither of us want penetration in our relationship. I'm just absolutely terrified of making her insecure and ruining her friendship with our friend. I know I can function fine with blurring the lines between sex, friends, and partners, but she's got the trauma of an ultra-Christian childhood and has so much constant dysphoria that I'm scared something like this could ruin our relationship. We talked so much when he first offered and I know she's not opposed, but I just keep thinking about all the horror stories I've read about couples opening up their relationship or trying poly after being mono and it ruining them. Especially if I end up wanting it more than just once with our friend. I don't particularly need advice, I'm just laying in bed next to her in the dark scrolling horrifying stories on Reddit while talking with our friend over text getting all up in my head about our dynamics and I don't have anyone to vent to about this right now. I figure a polyam blog on tumblr will at least understand that nuances that come with figuring this stuff out. Thanks for listening

It's really fair that you'd be worried about this, and it's a really good sign for everything that you want to do this consciously and carefully - if at all. Sincerely the worst thing about polyamory (and related things) is how isolating it can be. 😣Oftentimes, the only person you can even discuss problems with is the partner who is also all up in the problem. Which I clearly don't need to explain to you how that sucks.

You said you didn't need anything but listening. But like, it's me. So.... 🤷‍♀️

Reddit and the forums are the mother of all selection biases: happy people generally don't feel the need to post about their lives online, and people who have found something sustainable but not completely perfect don't feel like their input is valuable because they "still have problems" even though how things can work really well or well enough is probably some of the most valuable information to you!

It's not your fault if your partner lies about or grossly mis-estimates her okayness level on this. And if she is the type of person to usually lies about or grossly mis-estimates her okayness level with things, its bound to be a problem at some point, even if you can successfully avoid it being a problem on this one issue by being really anxious.

🗣📢EXPLICITLY UNSOLICITED ADVICE WARNING🚨🚨 Everything up to this point could be construed as "just thoughts" but the following is unambiguously advice. Stop reading now if you want to continue in your unadvized state. She cannot assure you with 100% certainty she will not have a problem with it. If she tries, all she'll do is lock herself into not being able to tell you if she does. The only helpful thing in these situations I have found is to establish a procedure for what to do if there is a problem. Give her the tools to find something that's comfortable for her. Give her the certainty that you will listen to her, talk things through (which is sometimes a solution on its own!), and not hold it against her if you need to make changes. Then you can rest assured if there are problems, they won't last.

When you're doing "but I don't want to hurt herrrrrr😖" anxiety calculus, remember your non monogamous tendencies probably aren't going to stop! So also evaluate if you'd be okay with never ever doing anything with someone besides your gf. And if you're not. It will probably hurt her worse if you say you're fine with staying monogamous forever now, and then feel like you're about to snap two years later. So just like. Factor that into your calculations, too, haha!😅

And as a close

I'm with you. I feel you. This blog has DMs open if you want to talk more organically or about details you don't want to be public. No matter how this shakes out, you will get through to the other side.💙💖🖤

[bubblegum-glitch]

I Was Gaslighted to Believe My Mental Health Disorders Were Fake

TW: Suicide, alcoholism, mental health, childhood trauma

This post is a bit off topic with the theme of my blog, but it's something I really want to address.

I was about 10 years old when I first started noticing something was wrong with me. This was revealed to me quite recently when I was looking through my mom's collection of my old saved homework assignments. I had written a "biography" and in it I detailed how I was unlovable, and outlined clear indications of depression within it.

No one ever thought to address this with me. No one asked why I felt this way. No one drew any attention to the fact that something was clearly going on inside my head.

Before I continue I would like to preface this blog entry with a reminder that I did not have a bad childhood. Yes there was some emotional trauma that I recognize now that I'm older, but my parents did the best they could with what they knew and are not the villains of this story.

The suffering I did mentally in my teenage years was boiled down to teen angst and hormones, and once again ignored, even when I began self harming. This would, however, result in my first hospital trip regarding my mental health, but only because I had called the police on my drunk father and had to threaten to hurt myself in order to get them to send someone out to help me.

I don't remember what happened at that hospital visit. I've suppressed most of that memory too deep and would prefer not to dig it up for a blog post. I do remember people being disappointed in me and embarrassed that I would dare call the police on a family member. The focus ended up being on the resulting depression my dad was suffering instead of the scars I was now left with.

You see, I wasn't allowed to have emotions that weren't happy. Most importantly, I was absolutely not allowed to be angry about anything. If I felt rage, if I felt sadness, I was expected to put on a happy face and bury all that deep down in the depths of my soul until it all melted away.

It doesn't melt away though. It builds, and builds, and builds, and builds, and builds, until you just can't contain it any longer.

I struggled with suicidal thoughts and tendencies, self harm, depression, and anxiety quietly for many years. Eventually I told my mom about the intense urges that would coax me to hurt myself and the conversation was once again dismissed and forgotten by the following day. I was lead to believe that these thoughts weren't real, that I should push them all down and bury them, and I would feel better by exercising and going out with people more often while pretending nothing was wrong. Spoiler alert, this was not the correct solution.

I had my first total breakdown a few years later around 2014/2015. I was on my way to my new job when I was hit with this wave of absolute despair and hopelessness. It got so bad that I had to crawl into a public washroom at the bus terminal and call my mom to come get me because I couldn't even walk anymore on my own. Despite her insistence that going to the hospital wasn't going to help because all they would do is prescribe me medication (a BIG no-no in my house), she did eventually cave and took me to get some help.

That emergency visit was absolutely useless, however. I was told to read a book on being happy, told to exercise more, and sent home.

So once again it was confirmed to me that there was nothing wrong and I was just being a lazy drama queen.

This would lead to the first time I seriously considered suicide and it was just dumb luck that an interruption stopped me from going ahead with it.

Unfortunately the mess my head was in only began to decline from here. I never wanted to leave the house, I was constantly paranoid that my friends hated me, believed myself to be worthless and a waste of breath, and figured no one would listen to me cries for help because I just wasn't worth saving. My poor mental health was my fault and I was only making it worse by wallowing in a pit of despair that I had dug for myself. If I would just exercise and be more positive I would be all better.

My second suicide attempt occurred after I had moved out of my parents place to live with my partner. That despair had worsened to a point where I couldn't stand it anymore and I walked out into traffic to try and make it stop. Fortunately I was not hit and, upon realizing what I had done, I called a friend to take me to emergency.

This time the doctors listened and got me help. I spent a year in therapy, got a loose diagnosis of PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder) from my doctor, and with the encouragement of my partner finally gave in and went on medication to treat my anxiety and depression. I had been resistant of this previously because my mom had led me to believe that long-term medication was poison and only hurt more than it helped.

I'm sorry mom, but fuck you for making me believe that.

After a couple of weeks adjusting to the meds and feeling like nothing was real, the suicidal thoughts went away, the urge to self harm diminished, the weight on my chest lightened, I could think clearly for the first time in my life, I could see the beauty in living...

After 20 years I finally understood what it meant to feel normal.

But the story doesn't end here.

Over the last few months I've noticed my medication has been significantly less effective. It happens, and originally I was just going to ask my doctor to strengthen my prescription, but then my mom said something that sent an intense rage through my soul.

"I've always known you had ADHD but I didn't take you to see a doctor because all they would do is medicate you."

Excuse me?

This epiphany sent me down a rabbit hole of exploring the disorder and when it became obvious to me that she was probably right I began the steps to getting myself a diagnosis, partially for confirmation, but mostly out of spite.

Last weekend the NP diagnosing me stated that while she believes I do probably have ADHD, it's also very clear to her that I have Borderline Personality Disorder, with signs of possible Bipolar. I've now got an appointment with my doctor to get a referral to a psychiatrist to have this officially diagnosed, but dear lord does it all make so much sense now.

Years of blaming myself for never being good enough, for feeling awful that I never made anything of myself, for failing again, and again, and again and being told it was because I was too lazy...

I'm mad. I'm really. Fucking. Mad.

My family and the health system failed me. They made me believe I was making it all up, that I was a drama queen. They invalidated my feelings over and over and over...

But 10 year old me was right. Something was wrong. Something has been wrong for a very long time and I'm finally now, at 35 years old, getting the help I have been begging for my entire life.

When I discussed this discovery with my friends the first thing they asked was if I was okay, because hearing all that was a lot to take in. My mom, on the other hand, scoffed and told me the NP is lying and isn't an expert. She just wants to sell me a medication that will poison my system. Mom completed her "diagnosis" by telling me my real problem is that I don't exercise and I spend too much time on the computer. If I'd give up the screen time and go for a walk I will be all better.

I'm really. Fucking. Mad.

[theycallmeratt]

12, 14, 17 for fic writer asks! :)

12: trope I'm really into

I did a stupid laugh reading this question. I'm really into the "they asked for no pickles" trope. Heists, I've been trying to figure out how to write one forever and I keep getting paralyzed, but watching heist movies is my comfort. The one where you apply modern technological/programming ideas to fantasy worlds. The sunshine and storm cloud couple.

14. Where do I get inspiration?

1) Daydreaming. Whenever I do anything physical I daydream and a lot of that is "what if this character did this?" Most of them are silly but if I get a scene I like I'll write it and that might turn into something. I try to not dismiss any idea.

2) I get it a lot of inspiration from other people. Shadows of the Lost came from a post about imperialism and the Gerudos' relationship with death/zonai came from a post about lore theories. Flowers was based on a tumblr post about flower language. Arcanus Fisticuffus was from the MMMay posts, Wine, Iron and Other Damnables from a post about enchanted weapons. Stranger Flames have Burned was from a @naughtybg3confessions post. I always try to link my sources in fics!

3) Talking with people, especially joking about things. I feel like I'm always taking my jokes to absurd levels, but in Arcanus Fisticuffus the idea for Liam and Cal to be filling everyone's heads with stories about Rolan came from a bit where they were going to make sure he won (as well as the incoming cobra kai jokes). Honeypot came from a joking demand for a thirst fic. Hornoscopes from joking about horoscopes. Sometimes an individual inspires a fic and I usually gift that fic to them.

4) Going off that, writing absurd stuff and trying to make it work, like when Astarion and Minthara crash a patriar party to make sure Wyll is getting the respect he deserves in Dance, or when I explain the "fade to black" sex scenes at Sharess's Caress... and then involve shovel (Sharess's Mess).

5) Exchanges! I've written a lot for exchanges.

6) Fixing problems I have with the story or finding solutions to things that make me uncomfortable. Like, I don't want to write overly gendered language/insults. That led to my current fic-canon (which I don't remember if it made it into my published fics but if not, I'm going to fix that) where Ganondorf being male doesn't make him the leader; it's that he's Ganondorf, the same guy, reincarnated. And that led to Gerudo having a huge reincarnation culture that lined up nicely with the lore post I linked above.

17) talk about your writing and editing process

I write on my phone, in google drive. I'm not stoked about this set up but it means I can write while waiting in line or on a walk so I do it.

I make a new doc for each fic, put in the prompt or idea I have, and then let it sit until something hooks me. Rarely am I'm writing at this point, but I might be researching or brainstorming. All links, ideas, notes, etc, go into the doc. Everything stays in the doc until I'm finished.

For long fics, I have to break it out once the total work count is around 30k because drive gets wonky. For short fics I do not do all this prep haha

I often make a list of character beliefs, lore, vocab for me to reference. Examples (sorry for the photos of text):

Dialogue patterns:

And body language (or kinks, erogenous zones, etc):

I usually write a few scenes I like first, or a bunch of random lines. Those might not make it into the story, but I'm the kind of person who has to do something to figure it out? I can't think my way through it (or, at least, I haven't tried to build that skill).

I often pick a "voice" scene, which is the scene I read to remember the voice the rest of the story should be written in. If possible, I read that scene before I write new stuff.

I edit as I go, normally. I usually make notes of what I want to add at other points so I don't forget

I also make a timeline:

And I try to note any plot holes, any points where I can put hooks or foreshadowing in, etc.

Once a story is done I go back through the "to add" list and make sure it's in the story, try to patch holes, make sure it matches the timeline, make sure the characters match my notes, etc.

I also break it out into chapters that are about 3000-5000 words long (if it's not already there) and rewrite the endings of each to feel nice.

I write up my fic breakdown (for long fics) and link my resources.

Then I make my partner read it. They do it solely to amuse me/hype me up and they are amazing.

Then I post it! And the moment I post it I notice 5,000 errors.

[prince-simon]

Hi I was reading one of your fanfics and I came across this bit "he felt trapped, and scared, and was reminded of the times this would happen to him as a child, touch starved but scared to be touched" and I have never related to anything more. Do you know what that is? I'm sorry I'm only asking because I hope you know more about it than i do as you included it. Is it normal? Sorry for bugging you, it's ok if you don't know. Also your fanfics are AMAZING and have brought me a LOT of comfort

hi friend! first of all, i totally had to go through my recent fics to figure out which one you're referring to hahaha

but okay. story time! (disclaimer: the story sounds very scary in the beginning, and i'd be lying if i said it was comfortable but i decided to tell the whole story to hopefully give you some comfort? so. content warning for a bit of medical talk and medical conditions and mental health stuff under the cut)

so this whole thing about wille's legs/body spasming when touched (unexpectedly) is actually taken from personal experience. i haven't always had it, not that i know of at least, but there was a point when i was maybe. 16? maybe a bit younger? where i got slight tremors in my legs and over one or two weeks it just got more intense so my parents set up an appointment with our family doctor who referred me to a neurologist where i got a brain scan and everything. bc i - and my parents - went to the worst case scenario which to me was like wondering if this was some form of parkinson's disease i was developing (the thing i remember most about this is that we waited in the neurologist's waiting room for four hours even though we had an appointment only to be in the actual office with the doctor for like. 5 minutes) my brain scans came back fine and i guess i was too young to fully pay attention or understand what the doctor was saying but he's a doctor so he went with the natural solution of prescribing me meds. i ended up taking beta blockers for idk how long which worked for a bit to suppress the symptoms before the tremors came back. the doctor upped the dosage and again. it worked for a bit but i and my parents were like. am i gonna have to take these for the rest of my life? what's going on? i didn't wanna do this so my mum suggested going more of a natural route so we tried homeopathy. that guy slowly weaned me off the meds and instead gave me a bit of therapy which. lo and behold. helped. again. for a bit. at least i didn't have the tremors frequently anymore

in hindsight, i now know that it's very likely a symptom of anxiety and overstimulation in moments where my whole body just gets overwhelmed - i've had social situations in which i had just socialised so much and was also just really tired where a close friend would touch me and i'd just start spasming and just generally when i'm in stressful situations it can happen. sometimes it happens when i'm driving and something unexpected happens which is a fucking grim time bc i kinda need my legs for driving lol

so uh yeah. this was a lot of rambling i'm sorry. but tldr; for me personally those tremors are anxiety related

i hope this helped! you're also always welcome to slide into my dm's if you wanna talk more about this/your own experiences

either way i'm glad my stories bring you comfort!

[vsnotresponding]

Happy STS!!!!! *pours tea* *passes it to fwend* if your ocs were trapped in an escape room, what would happen?

also on a different but similar note have you seen the movie Escape Room 2017? (Also you should. The end!!!)

BECAUSE I am curious in a normal escape room what would they do and what would they do if the escape room wants to kill them, ya know?

(Please tell me what lyric would do. His dramatic ass I must know. but I want to know for everyone else too, especially my Pùlsar babies *squishes*)

*picks up tea* hi lyn!!!!!!

escape rooms my beloveds !!! i haven't seen Escape Room 2017 but I did watch a similar Murder Escape Room movie last year (don't remember which tho) (must be somewhere on my v watches tag on my main)

okay so. it all depends on the teams that go into the escape room (and also the type of escape room)

for your average no gimmick escape room we have:

the creators (Hamza, Ira and Níniam)

they are the perfect team, if I say so myself.

Hamza's very good at logic puzzles and at remaining calm under stressful situations, and knows pretty well what the other two excel at, so he's in charge of distributing tasks. Ira has the knows-how-to-pick-locks factor. stuck on a puzzle? say no more, a good hit at the perfect point and it's solved (not that Hamza lets her do that, but she does still when he's too absorbed in a puzzle). she has no patience for puzzles so she usually passes information from Níniam to Hamza, and looks for clues all around (her espacial awareness is very good). and then Níniam just knows unconventional facts. "that's a modern encryption method you need to take the number modulus that other clue we found and then—" stuff like that. he's also dexterous so he does well with physical puzzles

they aren't amazing at them but manage to get out before running out of time (and without fighting or drama)

púlsar crew (plus sher and sahare)

it's all emhi's and garvan's fault. they get along well with each other but sometimes they get stupid competitive about the dumbest things, in this case: escape rooms. every couple of months or so they force invite their friends to an escape room race and, well, race

when picking the teams the most solicited team members are sher (good with puzzles and logic) and sahare (good with physical puzzles and figuring out how locks or mechanisms work). áine's just okay, and karma and ira... well. ira i've already said isn't great at them, and karma's good at his niche and that's it (and the time constraint stresses him out too much

emhi and garvan are good too. emhi's specially good at distributing tasks, communication, and figuring out steps, and garvan is very observant so he notices clues and comes quickly into solutions.

after garvan has had a solid winning streak no matter what team emhi choses, she decides to go for an unconventional plan. she picks second because garvan won last, and instead of getting sahare where garvan got sher, she picks ira. and then, when garvan picks sahare, she picks karma (everyone's very confused, ira and karma most of all because they know they are there just to have the numbers)

and then once they are inside, emhi explains the plan:

"Remember what I told you last time?"

"No brute forcing myself out of puzzles?"

"Yeah. Forget I ever said that. Go wild. Just, don't break anything please."

Karma's still confused about where does he fit in all of this. Emhi notices.

"Áine wouldn't have let me cheat."

In the end they do win, mainly because the escape room was Evil Scientist Coded and Karma didn't need to figure out some initial puzzles to get the key to read DNA sequences or chemical compounds. also Ira picked some locks but that's between her and Emhi (the personnel was too distracted by Karma just flying through difficult puzzles to notice).

p:n crew

they are a menace, your honor (i mean. their job in the story IS the equivalent of solving escape rooms). they solve escape rooms competitively. if they don't get out by half time it's just like not getting out at all. they have run out of places that are challenging enough to go to around where they live and take instead vacations with the sole objective of doing escape rooms

they have perfect team synergy, they are all equally good at puzzles and ciphers and are just big enough nerds to know how to solve anything you throw at them. and fast

they also have Perfect Photographic Memory Enzo and Knows Unconventional Languages Sirio (morse, sign language in a variety of languages, braille, dead languages, you name it). Most of the time they can jump directly into solving the second half of an escape room because of this.

up squad

akira enjoys escape rooms, hannah likes the challenge. ely and lyric are there for support and to make up numbers (at least ely is competent at them)

lyric is not. lyric is dragged there kicking and screaming against his will (not really, he knows akira enjoys them so he's just being dramatic). he's the errant boy most of the time, carrying messages or stuff or "hey yric remember this sequence of numbers, okay?". he is valuable when chess is involved (he learnt and got good enough so akira could play with someone)

ely often comes in clutch when it comes to riddles. they have either heard it before, or they just have the intuition to think outside the box for them.

and then hannah just sometimes guesses the combination for locks (? she get's a vibe and just Knows

Escape Rooms that are out to Get You

most would just die why lie

if the p:n crew were the p:n canon crew then they would be the most likely to escape. if we are going for modern au they have lived normal lives they are doomed, but would get the furthest (they would probably not notice it's a killer escape room because they would not run out of time to solve stuff to get to the point where people start to get eliminated)

púlsar crew.

emhi and garvan are fit enough to be able to escape from traps (and they would also eventually fail), but everyone else is not. with the exception of ira because her survival instinct sometimes just kicks in and she'll drag herself out to safety if it's the last thing she does. bonus points if níniam is there, he's getting out of there whatever happens. even if she's forced to kill someone else (even herself) níniam survives. also, karma would die first i have no doubt

up squad.

lyric gets the furthest by pure physical advantage. once you don't need to take care not to break a puzzle he'll just tear it apart. he still wouldn't get to the end because as soon as he encounters a puzzle he can't get out by ripping out the walls or something, he's done for

so yeah.

bonus answer for horror themed escape rooms

everything stays mostly the same, BUT

ely, níniam, ira and, surprisingly, karma are just immune to the horror elements. they will put their hand into a dark hole and walk down a hallway towards a banging door with no fear in their hearts. ely because they are just like that even irl, níniam loves horror and is just having fun, ira because she has bravado to spare (garvan tries and fails at this). and karma actually manages to not get immersed into the setting (which is harder than you might think. i've gone to a fair amount of horror escape rooms and even if you know it's not real and that it's a control setting and that they are actors and props and that nothing's out to hurt you, you still get scared as fuck and argue with your team mates to see who will be the sacrificial lamb brave soul)

p:n crew get slowed down because they do get scared (enzo most of all)

sirio, garvan, lyric, hannah and sahare go into the dark. they are internally shitting themselves but someone has to. sirio and lyric are drama kings about it, garvan tries to be stoic, and hannah and sahare manage to (with many scared jumps and flinches at the barest of sounds, but they manage)

emhi, sher, p:n minus sirio, hamza, and akira leave the scary parts to the rest and work on the clues they get

sher and áine are specially handicapped by the horror element

[arewelemmings]

Downward Spiral

Downward Spiral written by Are We Lemmings, 2022-12-07

Right wingers hate everyone who is isn't a right winger. It's fact.

Evidence? There's plenty. Let's look at one example.

Remember the phrase, "There goes the neighborhood?" It's a well-known fact that right wingers hate gays. The why doesn't matter. They will make up any reason. Basically, it's because gays are different from them; right wingers hate anyone who's different. I remember being a kid and hearing someone saying, "Those homos better not be moving into the neighborhood. The next thing you know they'll be having disgusting sex on the front lawn. We can't have that." Really? Did they really beleive that? I'm sure some did. But for all my life, I've never read, seen or heard a news story about anybody having sex on the front lawn, gay or straight. It's not homophobia. They don't fear gays. The right wing hates gays. They hate anyone who isn't another right winger. It's just that simple.

They did their best to drive gays into hiding. "If they stay out of sight, it will be okay because we can pretend they don't exist. Out of sight, out of mind." But that wasn't good enough. Gays created their own bars and nightclubs. Gays were behind closed doors. And the right wingers broke down these doors and murdered them. It's not enough for people who are different from right wingers to be invisible. They weren't doing it on the front lawn. They simply can't be allowed to exist. That's the right wing agenda.

These days they're in a tizzy about transgenders. The recent Oklahoma bill HB1011 is a step toward preventing people from transgendering, making it a crime to aid a person in the process. They are trying to erase anything other than straight sex. Next thing you know, they'll try to erase anything creative, so we are all forced into heterosexual missionary exercises of the dull and boring kind while we secretly fantasize of all the wonderfully creative things we would choose if we were given the choice to indulge ourselves. It's puritanical and authoritarian. It's anti-freedom.

Okay, clearly we can't allow this kind of terrorist tyranny take root in America (or any other part of the world where you live). But let's think for a frightening moment about what happens if the right wing wins. And the way they cheat, it's not impossible. It has been proven with abundant evidence that conservatives, far above any other group, will lie, cheat, steal, betray and do whatever necessary to sieze power. They need to be in control.

Imagine right wing hatred and bigotry has eliminated all humankind except those who are radically right wing. There are no other groups of people to hate and fight against. But, no, they won't settle for that; they can't. I remember when I was young, the people in the Irish neighborhood hated the people in the Italian neighborhood, who hated the Polish, who hated the Greeks. They were all white, but there was still bigotry between them. That will happen again. Terrorism and fighting will continue until there is only one group left. And then, within that group, they will begin looking for differences between them to divide up and fight some more. "You hate bean sprouts? How could you?! That's it, buddy. You'll find I don't have your back anymore. I can't believe people like you exist. Maybe you shouldn't exist. I wouldn't have anything to do with you if you were the last person on Earth." And before you know it, there is a literal last person on Earth. And then we're extinct. Of course, it wouldn't proceed nearly as simply as this, but it would gradualy follow this sort of path through hatred and destruction.

Right wing thinking leads us in only one direction. Down. Right wing hatred is a downward spiral of destruction that leads to nothing but death and decay, and nobody left to get sick about it.

Is there a solution? Education will help tremendously. Which is why conservatives cut school budgets to keep us all ignorant and easier to control. Re-educating deplorables won't be easy, but we've got to try. It will surely take a Herculean effort.

What about faith? Jesus teaches kindness, forgiveness, empathy and compassion. But today's Christians don't teach what Jesus taught. So, religion isn't the answer. In fact, the right wing uses religion as a weapon, and are bigoted toward other religions, too. Beyond beefing up education, and possibly passing laws to ensure freedoms, and reforming police to actually do the job of protecting and serving, I don't know anything else that will help. If you've got good ideas, let's hear them. Really. Speak up. Use your voice. That's one of your freedoms that we need to protect.

[zaenaris]

You know, re-thinking about the moment where Koko brings Takemichi to Inupi and I realized that Koko told him that South is dead and that Senju has been defeated/that Brahman is over.

Inupi knows who is South, that's the guy who kidnapped him and threw him from his bike few days before. He also knows who is Senju, he sees her fight and he knows what Brahman is since Waka, Benkei and Draken was into it.

When Koko told him that, Inupi looks :/ like "what happened in few hours?!" but not really suprised maybe because he knew that there was going to be a battle this day.

But Koko doesn't tell him that Draken is dead. I don't think that Inupi is aware of it. The Shop was still open, he was working on a bike and Draken is dead like 1 hour before, more or less. Inupi isn't his family, so the hospital has probably not call him.

And I can't stop myself to think that Koko was afraid to tell him. Maybe because he felt bad/guilty to not have seen that coming, maybe because he's still shocked that Mikey has been so indifferent. Maybe he doesn't want to be the one to tell Inupi that he has lost someone AGAIN and that he still can't stay with him after that. He knows that Inupi could have a lot of financial problems with dealing with the shop alone (i remember a comic on pixiv where Koko, after the final battle, was invited to Inupi home and was very sad to see all the factures that Inupi tried to fill)

yes, I think about it all the time. Inupi knew that something was about to happen since he's the one that informed Draken. I've read somewhere in the past that maybe Inupi feels guilty about informing Draken since this led him to the battlefield where he was killed (new fear unlocked lol. Of course it's not Inupi's fault but still)

Of course, Koko taking Takemichi to Inupi sure wasn't the most logical solution, but I understand it was taken in the heat of the moment, people were literally already dead, and we know Koko's first thought is always Inupi

Michi himself was in critical conditions, so of course they know they couldn't really talk too much but they still manage to exchange one of the most touching conversations of the manga

Koko knew he couldn't really stay there too much, he literally says in ch.237 that he had to "clean up that mess", so I guess there wasn't really time

Probably there was a lot of confusion on the battlefield, plus KMG arrived after Draken was shoot, Mikey is apathetic (which Koko noticed) and comments he feels empty before the Dark Impulses take control of him (killing South and almost killing Takemichi as well. I remember that at the time many feared Mikey would have attacked Koko as well when he yelled Mikey to stop!)

For sure he understood that something bad happened to Draken, (I'm re-reading those chapter) Takeomi wanted revenge for Draken's death and he yelled it, but again, there was so much chaos that we don't really know if Koko actually heard it. Anyway, Koko is smart, for sure he understood more or less the situation even if it was chaotic but of course when he met Inupi there was no time too explain everything

Let's assume he knew Draken died, there was nothing to do about it, and he took Michi to Inupi to at least save him, so maybe he didn't want to upset Inupi more than he already was seeing Takemichi like that, besides he couldn't stay with Inupi, he had to come back,, so he couldn't even comfort him

If he didn't really know what happened, or better, he had just guessed what happened but wasn't sure,once again, he wouldn't have wanted to upset Inupi with something he wasn't sure of

So long story short, I guess Koko felt bad anyway because he couldn't say anything to Inupi about Draken, whether he was sure Draken died or only guessed his death in the chaos

I like to think that Draken's death is one of the many things they discuss about once they reunite for real and had time to actually talk.

D&D is a young business, it's normal at the beginning there's not a lot of income, of course the death of half of the personnel and co-founder is a really a hard blow, especially since in the meanwhile Inupi and Draken were also friends, beside business partners.

D&D was their dream job in a field they loved, it meant a lot for them, I'm sure it was difficult for Inupi for so many reasons, emotionally and financially. Koko would feel bad he didn't say anything to Inupi, but Inupi gets why Koko didn't talk, he understands. He just appreciated that after the battle Koko is there with him to face all the situation together.

[crocheting-cupio]

So.

Today is my Rebirthday.

And I have a story to tell.

(Of which the first half is very medical, just a fair warning. If discussion of surgery and related things makes you uncomfortable, don't read the rest of this post.)

One year ago, at about the scheduled 1:30 pm, I had woken up from my anesthetic-induced slumber. But the only thing I could see was the inside of my eyelids, I hadn't regained control of my body just yet.

A voice I vaguely recognized from before going under was calling out to me from somewhere far away, "Wake up! Snowy, wake up! The surgery is over."

And with those last words, the mental weight which I had carried for as long I as could remember was instantly lifted. Despite still being trapped in my own skull, unable to see or feel anything outside, I felt a sudden mental clarity.

Anxiety caused by seemingly nothing? Gone. Depressive, self-deprecating thoughts lingering at the back of my mind? Eliminated. The general physical discomfort which I felt every day of my life? Quashed. I could think without interruption or negative influence.

Despite the drugs I was on my mind felt clear. Perfectly clear. The mental clarity I had gotten from taking Fluoxetine a few years earlier now looked as effective as shining a standard flashlight through thick fog. (Although at the time it very much helped.) Even a year later, this clearness of mind is still with me.

I'd noticed a very metallic taste in my mouth and a soreness of throat, which reminded me "Oh yeah, they said something about putting a tube down my throat, didn't they?" Right away, breathing felt difficult and my chest tight. Not because of anything in my lungs but because my muscles protested moving and my skin felt like it'd been pulled taut. The nurses instructed me to breathe slowly and steadily, which I understood the point of immediately. But I didn't feel scared, I was actually a little excited to be awake.

When I regained more control I'd noticed I was crying, which wasn't unusual. I always cry whenever I pass a certain pain level, even if I cannot feel it because of painkillers. This newfound freedom was so strong that I did not feel sad, panicked, or even hurt. I was able to calmly say to the nurses trying to comfort me that I was only crying because that's just my body's reaction, I actually felt very calm.

After the initial recovery, I was wheeled back to my room. The nurse turned off the lights and told me to sleep for 15-20 minutes to let the rest of the anesthetic wear off. I almost told her I couldn't because I was wide awake. A new chapter in my life had just begun. I was finally free. I could not contain my happiness. There was no way I could sleep now. I could hardly keep my eyes closed as those 15-20 minutes passed by.

On the two hour drive home, I remember I just couldn't stop smiling. My Mom, being very much a mom at this moment, was still very uneasy and worried because I'd just gone through major surgery. But, speaking with a confidence I was not used to, I assured her that everything was going to be okay. In fact I felt better than ever.

I remember I had brought my Switch with me to play Celeste on the drive. On the way back I replayed The Summit, and reaching the top had felt more fulfilling than ever now that I had conquered my tallest mountain.

Now we fast forward to today.

Despite an unrelated, very dark time over last winter, I would say my life has only been improving since that day. Without the crushing weight of gender dysphoria on my back at all times, I've just... felt better. I know. Crazy, right? But it's so much more liberating than I had ever anticipated when I had asked my doctor about the surgery.

I can often just... do things. Things which I've been putting off or avoiding for years, sometimes my whole life. Little to no resistance. I can simply sit down one day and solve a problem that's been bothering me forever. All because my mind is so much clearer. I can see the problem and the solution and immediately put my plan into motion. No more second-guessing myself for months on end. No more "I'll do it later" to things which should be done now.

Social media causing anxiety, depressive thoughts, or anger? I can just log off. I can just unfollow the person who keeps posting things that make me upset. I can even go outside for a little bit, maybe take a walk around the yard if I want to.

I've finally brought fruit and veggies into my diet, and I can't properly express how nice it is to finally eat a meal and feel FULL and SATISFIED. Or to drink the amount of water which I need and not just stay thirsty because I don't want to get up and refill my water bottle. Or not delay getting in the shower or brushing my teeth because then I'd have to look at myself. Or to look at a piece of clothing in a store, or on someone else, and say "I would look good and FEEL good in that."

When I introduce myself to people I do it confidently, as opposed to awkwardly, shyly, or even reluctantly. Which is great because (despite being an introvert) I love meeting people and learning more about them. I feel confident in who I am, which is something I've only just gotten used to. Sometimes it actually startles people a little bit lol.

The list of ways my life has improved is longer than I can put here.

I feel happy being the person that I am.

I feel like I'm living a far healthier life, both mentally and physically.

I have never felt more empowered and free.

Here's to making through the first year of my new life, and many happy, healthy years to come! 💖 🎂 💖

[fanganedit-beach]

I try holding off on serious topics because well, it's hard for me to do so and I don't like coming off as confrontational but there are two things I do want to address that have been a issue in the fanganronpa community for awhile now, specifically on tumblr.

Firstly is the severe issue of spam tagging. There are many blogs i've seen that's been spamming a lot of the fangan tags with posts mostly from story driven blogs but there have been some others guilty of this too. I want to make clear wanting to get attention for your story or posts are completely okay it's understandable to try and get an audience in ways that you can, however it becomes a big issue when it starts flooding tags and making it difficult for users to find content for their favorite characters or fangans, because that is what this spamming is doing it's making it increasingly more difficult to find fanworks such as fanart, fanfiction, or even official fangan posts and that creates a problem. And while yes blocking is a solution this is an issue that is not caused by just one person, and I want to believe it's not intentional. My offer of a solution to this is tagging only posts that have significant impact in your story or moments that show greatly what your story blog is about, I also offer an alternative of creating unique tags to prevent posts from flooding the tags, this way everyone is happy. As for the others all I can really say is to please consider what you are putting into the tags, personal posts do not belong in main tags, it's important to keep in mind when you put your post up online and tag it here on tumblr people will see it so it's important you are aware what exactly you are planning on showing to other people, post and tag accordingly for your and others convenience.

Secondly I want to discuss another issue i've seen with some blogs that being some have either forgotten or disregarded certain fangan creators rules. I am not a confrontational person so I am not saying what blogs or what fangans but please take this more as a reminder and not a lecture: Please read and look through fangan creators boundaries and rules before using their characters for anything. Let that be using their art, sprites, characters, or literally anything. It is important to remember fangan creators small or big are still human beings creating a fanmade work of an already existing franchise meaning their works are just another fans fanpiece, meaning those fanpieces should still be treated as any other fan related work. Be kind, respectful, and mindful of what you are doing with someone else's work.

I have a bit more to say but i'll leave it in tags, thank you to those that read this.

[amtrak12]

I crossposted the Elemental Writer Asks to my Lucifer Twitter so this question is from over there.

Summer: How do you know when you need a break from writing?

THIS IS SUCH A GOOD QUESTION! Because it can be hard to tell the difference between needing a break and just needing to push through with a bunch of crappy writing to get through a block.

So, I guess to start, here are some reasons I, personally, might need a break from writing.

I'm sleepy

I'm distracted by a different fixation

My day job has been too demanding/busy/etc

Other real life stuff is going on

I've been writing too much

Now with outside stress, it is what it is. I either write what I can or I just let myself relax with video games or a TV marathon or whatever. And being sleepy only really has one solution too: go to bed lol

For being distracted: Unless I have an external deadline (like I signed up for a fic exchange), I just give into the distraction now. Sure, go play Sims for a couple of days because I can't stop thinking about raising horses. Yeah burn through the entire Shadow and Bone series in a week. It's fine. Even if I don't need a break from writing at that moment, the break is still a good mental refresh.

And now for the difficult-to-define problem of 'writing too much'. What is too much and how can you tell if you're at that limit?

For me, too much is anything at NanoWrimo pace (1667 words/day or 50,000 words in 30 days) or greater. That's total writing, not just how many words I publish. Now, I can handle 20-40k words per month for months on end with the occasional 50k spike. But that's only after writing the same WIP for a year and a half which has given me a lot of practice at writing consistently.

Factors that will decrease how much I writing I can do:

Editing

Brainstorming new story ideas

Free-writing and basic rough drafts are the easiest and fastest things for me to write because quality doesn't matter. But generating new ideas or editing existing writing both take a lot more brain power. At any point in time, I'm doing a mix of brainstorming, drafting, and editing. But I'm (slowly) learning I need to pay attention to which I'm doing more of in any given week, because that will influence how soon I'll need a break.

This week, for example, I posted a new Can We Keep Her chapter last Friday and a one shot on Monday. I've also written and submitted 3 drabbles for a fic exchange that won't get revealed until this coming weekend. Now, I've gotten better this year about forcing myself to take a day off of writing when I publish a new WIP chapter. Partly to celebrate and partly because I've learned I WILL burnout if I immediately jump into the next chapter. This WIP is monstrously long, and no amount of 'pushing it' is going to get it done faster.

But I definitely haven't been taking breaks after my shorter one-shots. 😬 And here I am on Thursday when I've scheduled myself to resume Chapter 20's draft and I just… don't want to. I'm feeling super unmotivated today even though I know exactly what I need to write. I thought I was disappointed by getting no comments on my one-shot -- and I am, sure -- but uh… after typing all of this out, I'm going to guess that I've expended more brain power writing and editing those drabbles than I thought. And that uh, maybe just maybe, I might need to spend tonight reading or playing video games instead of writing.

LOL I have no idea why that wasn't clear to me before. I just published FIVE different fics in a week. Seems pretty obvious that I should take a break 😜

So, I guess my advice for how to tell if you also need a break or are simply stuck on a writing problem that you need to push through:

Take note of how much you've written lately (this week/this month)

Compare that to how much you typically write in the same time period

Remember what else is going on in your life that's been demanding your energy.

If your response to any of those categories equals A Lot, you probably need a break from writing. Find the method that refreshes you, and go do that instead for a day or two (or longer, even) 💜 My favorites are fiber crafts, scripted television, and reading.

[thegoddesswater]

Author Questionnaire Tag Game

Tagged by @tc-doherty - Thanks, Lano!

About Me

When did you start writing?

Forever ago, it feels like some days. The first time I was told I had a talent for telling a story was probably second grade, but I also definitely ruined one of my mom's recipe books by scribbling all over it "writing" a story that I was simultaneously telling to my brother when I was just a small kiddo. I don't think the scribbling really counts though.

Are there genres/themes you enjoy reading different to the ones you write?

Eh, sometimes, I guess. I've started reading more contemporary stuff in recent years, and it's not likely that I'll ever actually try to write that, but contemporary fiction is also absolutely not my favourite genre to read. Also, even though there are often a lot of romantic elements in what I write, I find that I'm super choosy when it comes to whether I like romance in books I'm reading.

For the most part, I'd say that the things I write and the things I read are at least similar, even if they're not exactly the same.

Is there an author you want to emulate, or one to whom you're often compared?

If I've ever had anyone compare my writing to an established author, I've genuinely forgotten who the comparison was to.

I don't really set out to emulate anyone in particular. I've got my own quirks and writing flair, and I'm pretty okay with that. I can swap styles when I need to, but I also like being able to feel like I've got my own voice.

There was a time when my friends tried to start a writers' circle and I was the only woman there. We started off with free writes and shared them, and I remember distinctly that one of the others there was like "Even if you hadn't read that out, I'd still know that it was written by you, I'd absolutely say 'Kelsey totally wrote that' because it sounds feminine." I could not decide what to do with that feedback. I still don't, actually.

Can you tell me a little about your writing space?

UH. It's...cluttered. I keep my personal laptop on my dining room table, a surface which has the unfortunate honour of being horizontal, and, therefore, a place where items tend to congregate when I set them down for "just a second". And there are so many sticky notes. Because I will scribble down thoughts on a post-it when I'm at work and then stick it near my laptop so I can use it later.

I also keep a notebook in my bedside table and will jot things down into that if I'm writing right before bed. That's a very casual writing space and not my favourite. Partly because the pen I use for it is simultaneously running out of ink and also drippy if I think too much before writing with it.

Honestly, my writing space can actually be anywhere though, because I have cloud-based novel software on my phone, so sometimes my writing space is public transit.

What's your most effective way to muster up some muse?

Dunno! If I want to write, I can usually write, but sometimes I'm just super not in the mood for it, and I have enough other things that I like to do that I don't try to force myself if it's not working.

Though if I need to write for a challenge (think NaNoWriMo), then I start off by just stream-of-consciousness dumping my brain out on the page for a while. It works like having one of those "conversations" with a friend where you go "I'm trying to figure out this bit in my story" and tell them everything and don't actually let them talk and then you figure out the issue and go "Great. Thanks. You're a big help." And then I find that I'm interested in writing out the solution and it's all terribly exciting.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

Probably? Like I'm sure there are things in my writing that are there because of where I've lived, but I don't think there's anything I could consciously identify.

And especially where I don't write in the real world, it's harder to identify. Though that being said, there is something about one of my settings that feels extremely American to me. I've only been to the United States a couple times, so I can't actually accurately judge why that is.

Are there any recurring themes of your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

Honestly, I feel like I'm writing at my best (at least for first drafts) if I don't think about themes and just let the story happen. If I think too hard about something, it starts to get forced and stilted.

Grief shows up a lot -- a lot more than I would have expected way back when I started writing seriously, and I think I know why. It's not usually the focus of a story, but it's usually there, like a particular shade to tie a colour palette together. There's also lot of found-family type dynamics and just really broken characters sometimes. Neither of which exactly surprise me.

I also leave little things to amuse myself, that maybe someone will pick up on, but it's mostly dumb stuff like hiding a "James" somewhere like I'm early Pixar working with John Ratzenberger, or having a character say a clearance code that is a nod to another character that inspired part of his creation.

My Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favourite character?

I can't believe you're going to make me choose! My characters are the closest I'll ever have to my own children, I can't just choose a favouri-- It's Adair. My little sourpuss of a cyborg. He would be so mad to know that I've called him that -- mostly about the cyborg bit. Adair is contradictory, he craves affection and companionship, yet keeps people at arms length; he willingly signed away his autonomy and yearns for freedom; he's stuck in the structure of the military, but excels most when he does his own thing outside of the rules. He will do anything for the people he loves, but he can be an utter bastard to anyone outside that subset of...what, five?? people. He'll usually do the right thing, if begrudgingly and he's something of a reluctant hero, but he's really fun for me to write.

Which of your characters do you think you'd be friends with in real life?

I think a lot of the characters from Talentless/Wild Card would be people I would potentially get along with. I don't know if we would be friends exactly, but it would be possible to be friendly with them, with a couple of exceptions.

Not so much with Project 404's cast or Miadhachain Legacy's. Jance from ML and Cal from 404 would probably fall into the amiable-aquaintance-y category, though.

Which of your characters would you dislike most if you met them?

Probably General Vancil (Talentless/Wild Card), Voltain (Talentless/Wild Card), Chancellor Bardrick (ML), and most of anyone in the actual Miadhachain family (ML - duh). I honestly have no doubt that I'd probably get rubbed the wrong way by tons of other characters, but those are the ones that would be immediate dislike.

Tell me more about the process of coming up with your characters.

I guess my usually process goes "I need someone to fit this role" and then I start building from there. I'll use Cyri as an example.

Ages ago, I created a child character who was going to be following the main character around and causing shenanigans. I didn't want him to be an orphan, so I went "He needs parents. I don't want to worry about two parents. He needs parent. He can have a mom." I slapped the name Cyri on The Mom(TM) and called it day. At the time, I just dropped her into the story with no introduction when it was an appropriate moment for The Mom(TM) to arrive. Revisiting that story, I decided it would be better to introduce her earlier, so it wouldn't be weird when she showed up. And, suddenly that early intro scene leads to me starting to interrogate her a little bit: How did she wind up here? Why does her life look like it does in this moment? And thousands of words of playing around with her later, she went from being just The Mom (TM) to Cyri - a woman struggling to balance her protective nature with the fact that she knows that her son needs to go on these (somewhat ill-advised) adventures with the main character, because he needs to experience the world, and she can't give him that.

Other times, I come up with a name that I really like and go "Damn. If only you had a personality to go along with this" and then I'll start trying things on the name to see what fits. I have Aerun who is currently suffering from "Neat name, nothing else" which is a shame, because he feels like he's gonna be fun when he starts telling me about himself.

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

Lots of my characters are searching for "home", I think. Which is super not intentional. Also, I have a really weird set of occupations that I tend to give characters: Military roles, health care workers, assassins, tradespeople/artisans, and politicians. There are some stand alone occupations too, like the rock star and the figure skater, but otherwise there are a lot of characters falling into the above occupations.

And sometimes I wind up with characters from different stories who look similar if you write about them like a checklist of traits, but they present differently from each other in text.

How do you picture your characters?

Depends! Some of them I've got super solid ideas of what they look like and others...Not so much. I usually have a general idea of what characters look like with like...general height, body type, skin tone, eye colour, hair etc. But occasionally I'll watch a movie, see a picture, meet a person and I will know in my soul that I will have stumbled upon the most accurate portrayal of one of my characters. I'll mentally go "Oh my god! That's them. That is exactly what [character] looks like" and it's very fun when that happens.

It also happens sometimes with voices, for example, Hogarth from The Iron Giant is the most perfect match for the way Cyri's kid sounds.

I'll often make some kind of visual representation of the character, whether that's with a picrew or on the Sims or SOMETHING, but usually that representation is just close to what they look like.

My Writing

What's your reason for writing?

Because I have stories to tell?? Because I like to amuse myself? Because it makes me feel like I'm home?

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

I just love any comments! I'm never going to complain about the ones that I do get. Keyboard smashes make me giggle. People saying that they like what I put out is always fun. I do love when people share their thoughts with me though, because those are the ones that I come back to again and again when I need a boost; I love knowing that people are engaged with my writing, y'know?

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work?

I genuinely don't understand the question. Like... Do I want them to think I'm good at writing? Sure. Would I like them to have the idea that I am not a terrible person? Also sure. Are we talking when I post things online? I'd like people to think I'm kinda approachable at least so there could be some kind of interaction perhaps?

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Probably my ability to create characters. My world building is sometimes iffy and my sentences can be utilitarian, but my characters? Love them, and I think they're one of the best things I do. They feel like people and old friends.

What have you been frequently told by others is your greatest strength as a writer?

Again, probably characters. I once wrote some OC-heavy fanfic and folks would literally tell me how much they loved the OCs. Which, particularly in the world of fanfic, I feel like says a lot.

When my sentences aren't just utilitarian, I can come up with some very poetic turns of phrase, which people also point out as a strength, but I've gotta say that mostly it's my characters.

How do you feel about your own writing?

When I am in the midst of writing it? Sometimes my feelings are definitely "I am terrible at this, but I can fix it later" and then when I revisit it, I often go "Damn, that's not bad, actually."

I will reread my own stories just because I love them so much. I have lost so many hundreds of hours going back through documents and rereading things. I wrote them to adhere to my desires, so why wouldn't I love them?

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

Probably! Assuming that I'm not spending all my time trying to survive as the lone person in some post-apocalyptic wasteland and needing to scavenge for food and water and find/maintain a shelter. Do I like sharing my stuff? Sure - though it's been a long time since I posted much of it anywhere people can find it, and now I freeze up a little bit at putting things out there again, but I digress.

If there was no one else around, I might actually write MORE because if I was the only person left alive in the entire freaking world, I would probably need something to entertain myself and fend off the crazies.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? if it’s a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

I would say a little bit of both, but more what I enjoy. If I put something in that would be for someone else, it's more of a "I bet [Specific Friend] will also get a kick out of this moment" than a consideration for a nebulous future reader.

[resmyx]

The Legend of Risen Devils is a story best told in four parts. Aina is an unreliable storyteller, not because she's dishonest, but because she can't tell the difference between dreams and reality. Approach her in four different ways, and you'll hear four different stories.

These four stories are: Lessons, Personal, Factual, and Recovery. Links below to the other parts.

Legend of Risen Devils: Lessons

Legend of Risen Devils: Personal

Legend of Risen Devils: Recovery

Legend of Risen Devils: Factual

You're a hero. Your sword and armor clink with every step as you walk through the gardens and take a seat, like you're meant to be here. Then you remember your manners and take off your hat.

You wait for Aina to meet you here. You don't know what she looks like, but you've heard the legends. Her daydreams become reality. She's practically a goddess. There's some girl here waiting too on the next bench.

Eventually, you connect the dots and say, "Hey cute girl, maybe are you Aina? I've lost my way and I'm looking for the truth. I heard you know the truth I'm looking for. I'll listen...?"

It was the 2,584th year of the 4th age, right at the end of the age, when my parent's formula was solved. People should remember the date and event like it's a real thing. It's real to me. It's not just a story or a myth. It's for-sure not just a myth.

Remember the year. In 2584, everyone in applied anything is celebrating the 17th golden year and everyone wants to make a stunning discovery. Every golden year except the last, there's been huge advancements in all arcane research. The 16th golden year was 1597 for y'all not in applied mathemetics.

Technically the essentials of natural law were discovered in 1597, but my parents disliked the essentials, so it was just a myth to me. Maybe I should read about the essentials. Maybe the essentials were real and good. Maybe the hurry to discover something in that year was not as panicked as I had heard.

It was my parents' formula. It wasn't anyone else's; it was theirs. As their only child, I have a special mythical story... and I have a special opportunity to tell everyone about my real experiences. My parents brought an end to many worlds, plural, and they ended a golden age.

That formula led to the ascensions and the ascensions mark the beginning of the 5th age. We're living in the 5th age. It's not the next age, or the best age, or the nameless age. The 4th age was not a myth or legend.

The solution to my parents' formula involves opening breaches that never close. When this solution was proposed, my parents had a big fight over it. They'd never fought before.

Eira walked into that elemental chamber as a silly young girl with her favourite wooden fox mask. She emerged as a silly immortal fox-goddess with countless faces and countless tails. It was a success, and it marked the beginning of the ascensions and the 5th age.

With Eira's successful ascension, her father finally had the bravery to ascend himself. He ascended into time, and decided to offer ascension to anyone willing to pay for it, especially to disabled people like ascension was a cure for a sickness.

Legends tell of devils rising up from the earth to rule us from above. If you remain where you are, you will suffer their torment. This torment isn't for nothing. If you believe and you survive long enough the good in your heart and in others' hearts will someday convert the devils into gracious angels. If you prefer not to remain, you may rise to join the ranks of the risen devils of legend.

Please remember reality, my reality, and do not speak of the legends. In the 17th golden year, a research paper was published which coined the word "god" in a scientific context. It contained my parents' formula and Eira's father's solution. In the 5th age, scholars throughout the worlds began verifying the theory and performing ascensions.

In the 5th age, many prominent public figures became disabled, then recovered through ascension. It was harder to connect to elements through breaches and rifts. Many guessed that the elemental planes had been tainted by people flowing backwards through their breaches. Many stars found themselves without power as their rifts closed, forcing their billions of citizens to ascend or to die in the void.

In the 4th age, the world was a hollow sphere. There is no horizon because the land curves upwards the further away it is. With a good telescope, anyone can make a map of the whole world. People didn't live just in the land, they also lived in the sky. A few golden years ago large scale rift power was achieved, allowing whole cities of billions to fly and sustain themselves. My world was home to two or three trillion people, but it still felt small and cozy.

In the 5th age, there are 252 flat planes disconnected from one another. At the edge of every plane is an astral fog that appears grey and sparkly. Travel deep into the fog, and you'll find yourself floating in an endless black void that used to be the 4th age's sky. People in the 5th age call it the astral plane. The worlds of the 5th age are actually small, and quite claustrophobic to everyone from the 4th age.

Those aren't the only changes. More than specific people becoming disabled then the world at large, more than the world changing shape, magic changed too. People found they couldn't remember the langauge of magic anymore. Ritual magic became impossible. Books with the language of magic seemed to be gibberish.

In the 5th age, the only magic available was cursed in origin. My sisters and I suffered severe rift radiation growing up and our chaotic untamed magic remained. The ascended could invent their own magic. For everyone else... they had to roll for luck to get new classes of magic invented by the gods.

Want to guess how many people resisted? Only billions. How about uh, how many people still resist today? There's just us. We're hardly a million, maybe less. Here in Ferula, we are hidden away in a timeless place disconnected from the planescape. One day we will return. One day the gods will fear us.

Remember the heroine who brought us here. She ascended to the highest level of power with a pure heart. She was scarred by the worst of the gods. She seeks to free all of the world from the grasp of tyranny. She is the legend people should remember, but don't. Her name is Eliyra.

Legend of Risen Devils: Lessons

Legend of Risen Devils: Personal

Legend of Risen Devils: Recovery