#I've only been on HRT for a year

[auroras-void]

Looked in the mirror just now, realized I can't even *make* myself see the boy anymore. I made it, and I'm beautiful, I'm me. It feels... awesome.

[dont-offend-the-bees]

Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.

[spaghett-onaplate]

mutuals send me the strength to get through tomorrow

[jestergirlbosom]

Fuck it, transition timeline in solidarity (2018 vs 2024), I'm like if sam winchester transitioned (it would fix her) Also as bonus for vehicular accidents ⚒ here's a before and after from when I saw Thursday recently

Call me car crash the way I'm understanding...

[diningpageantry]

transphobes attacking me on insta for taking HRT after i literally explain that T saved my life by stopping my near-constant menstrual linked-hormonal seizures that i've been having since i was abt 16ish.... they don't actually care if it literally is keeping you alive in a medical sense they want you dead because you don't hate that you're not cis regardless

[stellacadente]

and that's on top of pinning my distress and suffering and the awful time i'm going thru on the fact i'm on hrt

[steal-this-album]

FORGOT TO SAY HERE BUT OMG. girlies. i have an appointment to start hrt next month ^____^‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️💥💥🔥💥‼️🔥

[dragonatthedinnertable]

Last week I had my annual hrt review.

Another year, another lack of change to my hrt. No additional estrogen, no progesterone.

I never hated going to the doctor's office before transitioning. Not sure if it's that or the issues during chronic illness that have soured it for me, but I just don't have the courage or whatever to stand up. I just feel small.

[genderqueerdykes]

to the transfemmes who feel dishearented because they are not seeing the effects they'd like from HRT yet: it's okay. it's okay to feel bummed out at first. HRT takes a long time to change everyone, it's not just you, everyone responds differently, and many transfemmes in particular feel defeated in the early days because it can take a long time before you fully recognize the changes. you are changing every day, you are evolving, it just happens a little slower than is easy to identify in the moment. it's not always easy to see in the mirror when your internal view of yourself is changing, too. sometimes dysphoria makes those early days a challenge.

i've seen girls who have only been on estrogen for 1.5 years who look completely different from when they started. on the outside it can seem like a night-and-day change, but on the inside it can feel like a slog sometimes. it's harder for the person who's changing to see it. it's okay. it's okay to take the time to allow yourself to change, even if it's uncomfortable for a while. it will look and feel awkward for a while, but you are blooming. you will see it, no matter how long it takes. it takes most transmascs a minimum of 5 years to fully see the effects of testosterone HRT.

don't give up. it's worth it. we are all but caterpillars weaving our cocoons. the day where you emerge as a butterfly will come way, way sooner than you think. you got this. keep it up.

[jasontoddspussy]

i kinda wanna write a short crack-ish time travel au where 12 year old jason swaps places with 22 year old jason bcs it'd be so fkn funny everyone would be so concerned. bcs like jaybin was not the angry kid fandom seems to think????? he was so sweet?? he listened, he was happy-go-lucky and wanted to help, found wonder in everything (robin gave him magic) and he was just so full of life and hope

so im just imagining:

titans: so hows it going with robin? you havent really talked about him or complained about his goody-two shoes sunshine-ness for a while. you good?

dick: well, uh. you see.

titans: also, who's the body-guard?

jason:

dick: so uh. this is.. future? robin..?

jason, 6'4 built like an idustrial fridge and a heavy aura of ''i can and will break your neck if you look at me the wrong way'' and voice gravelly from either the scar tissue or smoking or both: sup

titans:

titans: (just. stares. uncomprehending)

More under the cut V

just got like a funny picture in my head of like. a time travel AU where jason either swaps places with his younger self or somth idk but they're like sitting quietly eating breakfast and it's all fun and good but then a magical poof ensues and bam. adult jason is sitting there and jason is very confused bcs like yeah he was in fact sitting and about to eat but that had been at the nest with tim across him and maybe dick or damian snoring away on the couch in the next room.

meanwhile, dick and bruce and alf are all.. very confused bcs 1) baby jay just vanished. not only is the kid gone but in his place is a man who sorta looks like jay. (i headcanon jay as trans, this was before he came out.. tho i do have aus where he doesnt get to come out to anyone but tim, who makes a secret grave in his honor and doesn't out him.)

and bruce is like.

b: caroline...? is that you?

jay: (blinks) hm. congratulations, it's a boy. (jazzhands).

2. this man looks like he's seen the worst things humanity can offer, not to mention the very extensive scarring *covering every visible inch of his body* and the creepy either white eyes or green eyes.

and now he's sititng with just bruce and a very young looking dick and all of them just stare at each other and all jay can say is "fuckin' hell. seriously?" and groans bcs he did not want to deal with bruce. at all.

3. this man is not as surprised to be there as he should be.

jasons really not pleased with the situation but it is what it is and he's like just call constantine or zatanna or whatever. meanwhile everyone else is too busy staring at the fact jason, tiny jay, is taller than freakin' bruce and built like an industrial fridge (that isnt from lowes). none of them know how to feel about this

just like.

"you're.. awfully calm about this."

"eh, i've seen weirder." it is unsaid but jay is thinking of discowing.

n the three of them just has no idea how to treat this adult jason. this jason who seems.. familiar but so, so very different. obviously something must've happened bcs the guy looks like he's been in a freaking zombie apocalypse. and jays just like i cant wait to be home i hate this place, and makes the most unnerving comments here and there that just makes the others more confused. like.

"you can sleep in your old..? room. we will need to look for a change of clothes, though."

"ill use a guest room, i'm not setting a foot in that shrine."

"as you can see by this footage it's possible-"

"oh, that's not who killed him. look there, that's a falcone mark. this wasn't random but premediated."

"hm why are you even bothering with this case? listen - that's the sound of a skull being crushed, not the sound of an arm breaking, duh."

and they just get more confused and concerned

jason is a giant man made of muscle and rage and everyone is left reeling cause something happened to him, but he wont say what, and everyone keeps trying to guess and he doesnt clarify anything and obs no one is thinking "he died, got revived, turned into a zombie, pumped through HRT rage edition, becamea crime lord, was killed by his dad who chose to save his murderer, thrown into arkham by his older brother, broken out by his younger brother/boyfriend, made his own team of outlaws and put himself back together, only then starting to reconcile with some of the bats"

when they finally figure out how to get him back, someone, maybe baby timmers guesses "you were turned into a zombie" as a joke and jay finger guns him and says "yep" and then back jumps into the portal to get him back to his own time

meanwhile baby jason has the time of his life

not only is he apparently tall, *but* dick likes him?? he's apparently done a lot of good for crime alley??? he has a brother? boyfriend? both?? who looks up to him and is both very familiar yet he doesnt recognise him at all, and a younger brother who also looks up to him and is very protective and reminds him of like a small cat?????

dicks like we gotta get so many pictures of you!!! and jays like super confused but also like ok???

he can obviously tell that somethings up that theyre not telling him. but honestly the fact that it's like a decade into the future and he has so many people who loves him??? he decides its a problem for future him.

everyone is just very happy bruce is away on a mission in space.

[demilypyro]

Been thinking about time.

Time passing too fast, passing too slowly. Not having enough time, things taking too much time, having too much time on your hands. Wanting it to be tomorrow and yesterday. Waiting for things to happen, dreading things that are coming. The fact we only ever move forward in time makes the past just as unreachable as the future. At least I can still change my actions to come. The past is lost, but the past is what creates you, even if it doesn't need to define you.

This day ten years ago, I would have been.... in high school. Graduating by the skin of my teeth. No real plans for the future. Thought I'd go into computers. I was decent with computers.

Then my mom was paralyzed. There she was, in a wheelchair. For several months, it was like time stood still. Nothing else existed. Nothing else mattered. Time... was precious, I realized. Anything could happen at any time. I had to make the most of the time I had.

I started going as hard as I could. At everything. Studying, working, dating, transitioning. It all had to happen at once, as fast as possible. There wasn't enough time. It was all taking too long. Every day was a blur, because I was just doing so many things every hour of every day.

Then suddenly the earth stood still. Time had stopped again. The pandemic.

Everything was closed. I couldn't work, I couldn't date, I couldn't study, and transitioning you could only rush so much... So I just... had to sit there. With all the time in the world. But time was precious. So I had to do something. Or create something to do. I was getting sick of computers anyway. I'd always wanted to try being a let's player.

One year later, I was a Twitch partner. Another year after that, I was registered self employed. Then the next year, I had to take several months off to recover from surgery... But now, four years after covid, four years into HRT, four years into streaming... I'm working out the contract for an apartment. To live on my own for the first time. Something I was starting to fear would never happen. It was just taking so much time.

Even if I could, I'm not sure I would change the past. I have regrets, everyone does, but those regrets made me who I am. And for all my regrets... I like who I've become. I've put a lot of time into it.

[taliabhattwrites]

Less Fearmongering about Testosterone, Please, Or: There is no "Boy HRT"/"Girl HRT" Dichotomy

Hello folks, I'm a trans woman and I'm on testosterone gel.

As an immigrant to a regime that is currently setting trans standards of care on fire, there is no way I can acquire any of the drugs I need to put in my body through the official channels. I've been on E monotherapy (weekly injections, no T-blocker, works out really cheap and I have a few years' worth stockpiled) for a while now, and started T-gel about a year ago.

We initially grabbed it because my wife was interested in microdosing and I decided to do so with her (though she's on injections now). Most feminizing HRT regimes nuke our T levels to lower than the healthy range for cis women, and that frankly isn't good and can lead to various health issues. T is, ultimately, just a hormone, and even if I had too much of it in the past, I still need some of it to be healthy. One noticeable effect for me is that it's helped a lot with my energy levels.

In terms of acquisition, T is actually relatively abundant compared to E because a lot of cis men buy and take steroids, while most cis women who need E are just getting it prescribed by their doctors without much fuss. Our community is the only one that really has a need for E-compounders, while the population of people who consume steroids is way higher.

Funnily, our biggest challenge in acquiring the gel was just finding a forum that would point us to a gel supplier instead of just insisting that "Gel doesn't lead to enough gains, bro! Here just buy these injections." All very well-intentioned advice, of course, but that was very much not my goal and not what I needed.

Where I am, it's legal to purchase and own T, just not to sell it. T possession is not particularly harshly cracked down upon, given that its use amongst a certain crowd is basically an open secret. Gauge your level of risk but ultimately, the official policy on trans existence is discouraging transition and making it harder for us to be able to change our sex. A friend from Germany showed me this extract that explicitly advocates for therapy to dissuade bodily transition:

It's from the guidelines for transition-related care by the association of German health insurances!

If you can get it from a doctor, good. Do that and don't forget you'll constantly have to advocate for yourself. Even if you can, however, you should frankly have your back-up options sorted out, because we live in times increasingly hostile to transitional care, and we all need to have fallbacks.

Maybe the world will eventually become less trans-eliminationist, but in the meantime, transition is always going to carry with it a certain level of risk. All I can really advise is to take charge of your own bodily autonomy, to decide how you want to shape your sex, and if you feel like you can't currently do that, to start making plans for when you eventually can. That kept me going for five years in the closet, and eventually paid off.

Good luck, and death before detransition.

[daz4i]

oh wait are we bringing back the hyperspecific poll trend. hell yeah

as usual, rb to reach more people, if you'd like 😌✨️

[amisonist]

fuck it transition timeline

I was originally gonna wait until July to do this because that'll mark 3 years on E but I feel like now's a good time all things considered

With that out of the way lets start from the beginning AKA freshman year (AKA 2018)

This was on my way to band camp which is why you can see my trombone in the background (random fact: that was the only year I got to do marching band and our show was "the music of harry potter". yeah irony's a bitch ain't she?)

Graduation picture featuring the bestest boi Jinn :3

This pic is from 2020 because I switched to online and finished high school early out of spite (I was 16 here if you were wondering)

Now then this is from 2021 and was taken only about a week before I started hrt when I was 17

The lake in the background is Lake Superior in case you were wondering. Me and my mother were all the way up on the Keweenaw Peninsula for my family's 4th of July party held at the family farm

Moving on from that I started HRT on July 22 2021 (the appointment was at 9:30 am and I took my first dose at 7:42 pm yes I kept track)

This was taken like a half hour after my first dose (I actually don't really like this pic that much but I'm including it because it is important)

Fast forward from that a year to 2022 when I was 18 and here are a few pics of me around then one of which again featuring best boi Jinn

(it was windy out that day and he tried to bite me immediately after this lmao)

I've never been particularly good at taking selfies lmao

That brings us to now. I've been on hrt for about 2.5 years now if my math is correct. I'm pretty much living full time as a woman, started laser hair removal a couple months ago (next apt is actually tomorrow lol), and I'm working on getting my legal name and gender changed. It's been a long ride thus far and I don't really plan on stopping anytime soon so yeah here ya go

So that's it! At least thus far lol

also fuck photomatt 🚗🔨💥

[nonbinarywannabepreggo]

Today, he bred me twice. Once I arrived my job, I couldn't help myself. It was 4am, and he looked so vulnerable sleeping. I woke him up and told him he should make sure to fertilize me. He dragged me to the bathroom and fucked me in the floor, like a cheap whore. As I was exausted from my 10:30 hours shift, everything was hurting me, but I knew that it was my duty to take his cock and make sure his sperm were inside me, trying to turn me into a mommy.

Later, next to lunch time, we got a little bit of time to ourselves. It was mind blowing, plowing me so hard and deep. He bottomed out so much inside, his cum was so thick and his cock so hard. Ropes of jizz inside my very unprotected fertile female pussy. We have to make sure his swimmers are always inside me, so I'll get knocked up before the IUD becomes effective. At this point, I'm not even ashamed of being thrilled by the idea of motherhood being forced upon me. I'm even hopeful that my boobs will grow a little and I'll be able to breastfeed, like a woman should. I want to be ruined for his pleasure, having my identity exposed. It is so hot to be on his mercy like that.

Today he said again he believes I'm already pregnant, but in the early stages when the tests won't work, because I've been very horny, emotional, nauseous and hungry at the same time. I love when he caress my belly possessively and tells me I have no option but give him babies. I love when he dumps his heavy load and finger it all inside, making sure to mark his territory and make me cum so the chances of impregnation are bigger. This is my duty as a human female: to be bred unprotected and serve my owner by making him a papa.

Condoms, birth control, pulling out... That's not what nature intended. I need to return to my natural state: serving my soon to be baby daddy. And it his duty as a real man to impregnate me and put me in my place as his female cumdump and incubator. No matter if you're gay or not: breeding is only natural, and even he can't resist the desire to make me his property, ruining all those years of HRT, transfeminism and surgeries.

There's no vision like his cum-covered cock, leaving my pussy dripping and possibly knocked up

[tigergirltail]

One Year HRT

On September 19, 2023, I took my first dose of estrogen. It was a last resort. A desperate hope. One last shot in the dark before just giving up on feeling actual happiness in my life.

17 months I spent chasing down HRT in the hopes that it could fix me, could fill the hole in my heart, could deliver on all the wondrous, amazing, incredible promises that I'd heard from transwomen across social media.

…The legends were true.

It doesn't feel like I'm living my life lost in a dark forest anymore. I'm not afraid of everything everywhere all the time anymore. I can feel things now, as if I've spent my life running the free trial of Emotions and I finally upgraded to the full version. My mental capacity to hold the grief and frustration of the people I care about has gone off the scale, and as a result I actually feel like I can be there when they need me.

And something I long thought impossible has happened.

I've been making new friends.

More mental capacity means more effort put into writing and art and creativity, and more capability to reach out and be social. More creativity and social effort means people are beginning to notice me. Someone I have a whole lot of respect for as a person and as an artist told me that she can't wait for me to be on the radar of the greater trans community, because I'm already on the radar of the trans artist community. Someone else I have a lot of respect for told me I have the makings of someone a lot of people will look up to. I've hung out on voice chat as friends with people I thought I'd only ever quietly admire from afar.

When I started medically transitioning, my big impossible dream became "What if I find my people? What if I become part of a real community? What if I can be a guiding light for my transgender siblings, and help them out of the same darkness I once spent my life in?"

…It doesn't seem so impossible anymore.