#I've had a couple prior vets

[pixiesbored]

I've had finicky brain worms [parasites] for like WEEKS on top of WEEKS over 141 and housing.

I'm talking housing like apartments. no missions, no work, coming home right. but NO.

the beginning of that, the preface.

finding a decent place, the pain of applying, the stress of them securing a apartment that will take them.

my head thoughts are absolutely rotting over the idea.

[megpricephotography]

For those who're following Flynn's health problems… update is below the cut. Not a great one, sadly.

We went back to the vets on Fri 31st Jan. Flynn had been on his new medicine - telmisartan - for 2 weeks. He's taking it in an effort to reduce the "leakiness" of his remaining kidney. I'd collected a sample for urinalysis a couple of days prior & we got blood taken on the day. Vet spoke to me Sat morning.

I'll start with the positives. Flynn's weight is still good. Actually, at any other time, I'd say he was actively too chubby but I've been intentionally stuffing his face with as much kidney-safe food as he'll eat & it's good he's heavy & good he's managed to gain a bit. As for blood work - Flynn's blood count is good, he isn't anaemic (a worry), electrolytes are normal.

However.

Urinalysis… unfortunately, Flynn's protein loss in his pee is sky high & still maxing out their machine. I wasn't shocked by this result, as telmisartan can take a bit of time to fully work & have an effect… & Flynn's only on a 1/2 dose for his weight. Still, I was obviously hoping for better news. I wish we could at least tell if we're heading in the right direction or not.

Blood work. Urgh. Sadly Flynn's now in Stage 2 of Chronic Kidney Disease. Technically, Stage 2 CKD is considered relatively "mild" & often manageable for a considerable length of time. The worry though, is that Flynn's kidney function seems to be deteriorating pretty fast. From what I've read, this isn't uncommon in dogs who've had high protein levels in their urine, plus, again: Flynn is down 1 kidney… Also, we're already doing what we can to support his kidney, & currently it doesn't seem to be helping much, if at all. Vet's previously said he fears Flynn's kidney has just sort of... reached the limit of what it can cope with.

For now, we're keeping Flynn on a 1/2 dose of telmisartan. Yes, we could increase it but telmisartan can cause side-effects (we're seeing some), including even kidney damage (tbh, I am worried it may be harming not helping… but then again, Flynn has seemed better able to keep weight on since taking meds so, who knows). Vet & I are concerned a full dose could be too much for Flynn to tolerate. We'll monitor, may increase the dose… may take him off it entirely. We are going to add a phosphate binder to his food, which can help maintain kidney function. Flynn's been on a renal diet for 18+ months. Some dogs with his symptoms are put on immunosuppressants, but my vet hasn't brought it up as an option & tbh, I'd be concerned about potential side-effects, although I may look into it more.

As for Flynn… eh, he's OK, for now… mostly, I think? He's sweet & wanting gentle pats, so I don't think he's hugely sore, or distressed. He's feeling sick at times (picky about food) but not sure if it's telmisartan or kidney disease. He's definitely tired & quiet & wanting to be home, warm. That's fine. We get out once or twice a day for a short walk, & he still seems interested in things. I've pulled old Barney's buggy out & started encouraging Flynn to hop in, for if/when he's at a point of wanting to go out but not walk far at all. Obviously, I am still very much trying to hold onto hope we can get him stabilised & keep him happy for some time to come but gosh it's hard & I am struggling to be overly optimistic. I guess all we can do is take each day as it comes.

Sorry for the long read, partly this is for me... I find it helps writing stuff down. Hug your dogs, guys & please think good thoughts for Flynnie.

[bokettochild]

I've debated with myself several times in asking this. So if asking isn't okay, you can disregard this if you'd like to. I have a favor to ask. I have been having a really hard time recently and well... if the writing muse is there, could you do Legend comfort Hyrule in the Oprea vse. It doesn't have to be big and it could be over something silly.

Okay, I tried my best!

I'm sorry if it's not as fluffy as maybe you were hoping for but this is actually the first time I'm writing Legend and Hyrule interacting while they're both conscious in... a while. I gave it my best shot though, given the limitations of a modern world and whatnot.

If you want more fluff though, or even just other stuff, never hesitate to ask! It might take me a couple days (like this one did) but I am always happy to put in the effort for my readers <3

I hope you enjoy, Tayashia!

~

  It’s just a little thing really, not even that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things, and honestly, Hyrule’s not sure why he’s so upset by it. 

  Growing up in the system gets you used to a lot of things. Spending time on the streets gets you used to far more, but somehow a mere form of address has managed to get under his skin, and all the more so because it’s never said to his face. 

  “Strays” he’s heard the Cast call them. It’s not everyone, but a good number of the Crew, apparently, fall under the name. At first he’d just thought it was him, the kid who got tugged in off the literal streets to work here, with no prior experience and pity clearly the cause, even if Legend will never own to it. It bothered him to hear it, but given how precarious his situation is, Hyrule had resolved to keep his head down and ignore it. It isn’t easy, and his pride, however little he still had left, protests it exceedingly, but it is what it is and he’d made his peace with that. 

  Or, well, he thought he had. 

  And then he finds out it isn’t just him. 

  Ravio, who’s always a warm and bubbly presence on their workroom, who’s always friendly and understanding, gets called it too, he hears it. It’s Warriors who says it, chatting in a break while reading a new script with Dusk and Artemis. Hyrule didn’t mean to be listening, but he’d been passing the room on his way to grab something for Legend when he’d heard it. 

  “- very cagey, it makes me wonder.” It was Artemis, whatever had come before left unknown to his ears, but her fellow diva’s answer had rung quite clearly. 

  “That’s how vet’s strays are, Arty, I wouldn’t worry too much. Ravio’ll come around in time, I'm sure.” 

  He’d stopped for a moment in his steps, a copy of the script in his hands and quickly creasing. He’d thought it was just him. He could stand it if it was just him. He could handle a few words spoken behind his back, but if it’s Ravio too? Ravio who’s happy to answer any question asked and always bouncing and orbiting around Legend like he’s some sort of quietly shining moon to the vet’s more fiery sun? That Ravio? The one who makes him feel even just the slightest bit safer in this strange new world, lingering close whenever Legend has to stray off to tend something alone, who’s friendly to everyone, although admittedly, somewhat timid outside of his own work-space? 

  The thought that someone would want to degrade such a person to nothing more than a stray bothers him. It’s like they think he doesn’t belong! And while Hyrule is quite aware that he doesn’t himself, there’s no doubt in his mind that the dark-haired Lolian does. Still, he keeps quiet about it. He’s the new guy, a stray himself, and definitely lower on the totem pole than the opera’s poster boy.  

  And then he finds out it’s more of them. 

  Twilight, who’s quiet himself but always warm, who’s big enough to send Hyrule‘s every warning bell screaming but is somehow the most gentle person he’s ever met, is referred to with that name as well; a stray.  

  Flora, who’s voice sounds of money but who’s hands are always streaking black from grime and grease, coveralls a sharp contradiction to her high-town accent, gets the name too. 

  Wild, with his easy banter and unassuming manner, bright smile despite his deformed features and easy, care-free laughter, is given the same. 

  It’s all frustrating and it eats away at him, but the real kicker comes when he’s arranging some props for rehearsal and overhears the Cast chattering. Somebody’s absent, called out from work or sick, or whatever sorts of nonsense that Cast can get away with. He’s not sure who it is, but he gets the impression, as he listens (because Legend told him to keep his ears open, to learn, to watch, to soak it up and ask questions whenever he likes, because that’s how he’ll get to know anything of this world) he hears someone offer a suggestion to their permanently scowling director. 

  “Why not ask Legend to fill in, Time? I’m sure the opera’s favorite stray knows the part.” It’s said so easy, and while he’s heard them call others that before, this is both the first time he hears them call Legend- the guy who gave him a chance, who helped him onto his feet, who saved his ass- that name, and it’s the first time he’s heard them say it when they know the person in question can hear them. Because the vet is standing right there on that stage, putting in the final tweaks to a set-piece with Twi’s help, and that means he can hear their every word. 

  Hyrule has to fight to not slam down the props he’s holding, and even then he only manages because he’d seen how hard both Legend and Ravio had been working on them; crafting them from scratch, last minute, because the originals had apparently taken damage in storage and were no longer fit for opening night. It wouldn’t feel right to punish the two of them because he’s upset, and honestly, when he hears Legend answer, he almost wonders if he’s over-reacting. 

  “Pretty boy, if you want to see me in a dress that bad, just say it to my face instead of trying to get Time to force me.” There’s a scuff of feet, some sort of shifting and- knowing the pink-haired teen- he gets the impression that the guy’s turned around to face the cast. “Also, Sun’s downstairs, and I can guarantee she can fill in for rehearsal today, so if you’ll excuse me-” a creak, something being hefted, no doubt the toolbox that was out earlier, “-I’ve got the back of house to keep running.” 

  Theres no anger in the vet’s voice, no upset at all. It’s just the normal flippant tone he takes with the divas and which they turn back on him. Hyrule’s still not sure if it’s antagonistic or playful, but still, his boss seems unbothered. So why is he upset? 

 Except he is. He is and he hates the disregard, the dismissal, the way they say it.  

 It’s one thing if it’s him. He came off the streets and, yeah, okay, maybe he’s a bit flighty, maybe he’s more like a stray dog brought home in their minds than anything else. Sure, that hurts, that bothers him just a bit, but it’s not enough to make him want to say anything. Hearing the people who’ve been the kindest to him, who’ve been the warmest and most helpful, who are that way to everyone and not just him, treated the same way? No. No, he’s not okay with that. 

 It must show too. He doesn’t mean to let it, but apparently something bleeds through because sometime a day or so later, sitting over the workbench and helping to clean a few things from the back room, he finds himself fixed under a pair of dark eyes. 

 Warriors had passed a moment ago, so he must have moved, or shifted, or otherwise changed, because seconds ago, Legend was just humming quietly to himself as he worked, but the moment the diva is gone, the humming is too, and when Hyrule looks up, he finds his gaze is caught and held with an odd sort of intensity. 

 It’s not his first time thinking it, but he finds himself wondering, once more, why Legend’s always in the back of house rather than out on a stage. 

 “What was that?” 

 “What was what?” Suddenly, the candlesticks he’s touching up seem ever so heavy, and much as he’d like to pretend there’s a spot on them that he needs to busy himself with, that would require being able to tear his eyes away from under the gaze of the vet’s own. 

 A short nod sends pastel hair flopping in a gesture towards the diva, even as Legend’s own hands remain working, deftly, at polishing the silver he’s holding. “You tensed, a lot. Did Pretty Boy do something?” 

 It’s like he’s entirely unaware, or, perhaps, never thought about it. When Hyrule thinks on that even a second though, it does rather seem that these things don’t spring up overnight; he wonders how long everyone’s been being called that for them to not even notice anymore. He wonders if they’ve said anything previously and just learned to be quiet since. 

 He wonders if saying anything himself will help at all. 

 Legend keeps staring as he wonders, and it’s almost unnerving because the guy hardly even blinks. 

 “It’s...” 

 And there’s a blink, slow, almost catlike, as his boss’s hands still there work for a moment. 

 “It’s nothing.” 

 Up arches a brow, dark in contrast to light hair. “Really? Because I don’t think ‘nothing would make you tense up like that.” 

 Hyrule doesn’t answer, just fumbles to start working again, dropping his gaze with a bit of effort and trying to scrub away at the candlestick again. Man, he wishes he had a tooth-brush for this instead of a dust-cloth. Styla’s demands for historical accuracy are going to result in a lot of grime still caught in the detailed little designs of the thing. “Are these real silver?” 

 “Yes,” Legend’s hands start working too, again. “Heirloom pieces apparently. Donated seven years ago by a patron and now used expressly for our performances of Les Misérables.” He even does the accent thing, and it makes Hyrule wonder just how much time the guy spends around Styla that he can do it that well; can he speak Hytopian too? “Infrequent use makes them stand out better to the audience than if we dropped them in every candle-lit scene ever. Besides, they’re a pain to clean.”  

 He grunts his agreement, huffing right after as he stares at the silver before him. His reflection stares back, distorted and twisted by the intricate patterns on the thing. 

 “Harder still if you’re not focused.” 

 It’s pointed, and maybe that makes him start again, slightly, glancing up and finding he’s fixed under that stare again. It’s the same look Legend turns on torn garments and damaged props, unfinished set pieces and fraying ropes: the look of trying to find a problem and fix it. That’s the way he is, Hyrule’s noticed, and it’s not the first time he’s found himself as the one turned under that look, although he’s also not the only person who gets it either. Legend’s a fixer, a person who repairs and tends and spends hours focusing on how to reverse damage done, and either that’s bled into his personal life, or his work life is just an outlet for it. Either way, knowing it’s not just him who’s a project in those eyes makes it much less upsetting than being a stray to the eyes of the Cast. 

 He drops his own gaze again, maybe moves his polishing cloth a bit more roughly than he should now that he knows he’s holding a priceless piece. “I’ll do better.” 

 “If something happened-” 

 “He didn’t do anything to me.” 

 The frown deepens, a pinch to a freckled face that ages the other more than it should. “To you? Someone else? Look, Wars is usually a stand-up guy, give him shit though I do, and if he did something, I’m sure he didn’t mean anything by it. Still, if we ignore it, then we can’t fix it, and it’ll just-” 

 He can almost sense the metaphor that’ll come with that, the comparison to some broken object to give visualization to the problem, and while Hyrule would normall like to avoid interrupting his employer, or otherwise ignore what he’s saying, he’s been learning rather quickly that in opera, that’s the only way to get heard sometimes. The whole of Cast and Crew both talk over each other all the time when they have something to say, and even if he is new, he thinks this one time won’t hurt, especially given who he’s talking to.  

 “He didn’t do anything,” he informs the other, heaving on a breath and trying to stop himself frowning now that he’s actually thinking about it. It’s hard though, and something hot curls inside him when he turns his mind to the matter. “I just...” 

 There’s silence at the table, cloths still and hands more-so. The opera goes on about them, Wild’s voice carrying back from the stage even as Fable answers back sweetly, Ravio muttering to himself and Styla as he flutters about, and the costume master huffing back in broken Hylian with her mouth all full of pins. They’re all very much there, and yet they feel distant, like the worktable is suddenly its own domain for a moment; separate from the rest and unreachable by motion or word. 

 “Doesn’t it bother you?” He finally asks aloud, raising his head to meet the stare still bearing down on him, although it stutters briefly and whatever is seen in his own. “You’ve been here a long time, yet, they still talk about you like.... like you’re- they still call you a stray.” 

 Legend’s not a person of many faces, he’s found. Typically, a resting scowl or look of intense focus touches his features, although a smirk or crooked smile sometimes slips in here or there too. Now though, he finds himself met with a startled look, and the sight of it is nearly enough to twist his own features into the same, because he’d expected Legend to- well- he's not sure really but it wasn't that. “That’s what’s eating you?” 

 “So you have noticed.” 

Violet blink, nearly flutter, like something’s stalling behind them and making the guy’s expressions fritz out like one of Four and Flora’s lighting set-ups. “Well, yeah, but-” the candlestick in gnarled hands clatters some as it’s set to the table, and for a second it really does look like he’s somehow managed to short-out the other’s brain. “That’s...” 

 “The divas all use it, some of the other Cast too. Only on those of us who do the rougher work, and-” 

 “Now hold on,” a hand raises, Legend’s staring down at the table though, “it’s not just crew. You won’t hear it much because, well.... you won’t hear it much, but Dusk is a stray too.” 

 Now it’s his turn to short circuit. “What?” 

 Legend nods, dropping his work altogether and ploughing a hand through his hair, leaving streaks of polish and black grease in the already messy mop of it. “Shit, okay, so-” and then he cuts himself off with a look, a frown, and dark eyes flicker about for a moment before falling as the vet’s voice raises. “Time check, anyone?” 

 “Two twenty-five,” Ravio calls back, Styla echoing in what’s probably her own mother-tongue, athough still muffled around her pins. 

 “Two twenty-five and seven seconds.” He does not expect to hear Time’s voice answer back, especially as close as it does, and it startles him somewhat, has him spinning about to see where the man stands in the doorway to the workroom, leant against the frame with one brow arched. 

 Legernd nods, not phased at all or apparently weired out by the down to the second answer he’d just recieved. “Great. Rule and I are gonna take a break. Coffee?”  

 It takes him a moment to realize that last word was meant for him, and it’s only because the other pauses halfway out of his chair, staring at him, that he does at all. “Oh, uh... sure?” 

 And that’s how, ten minutes later, they’re across the street at a small bistro, Hyrule sitting in a booth as Legend grabs them some coffee from the counter. 

 They could have stayed at the opera. There’s a coffee machine in the break-room that most, if not all, of the cast use. The only exception being Four and Flora who have their own private pot in the control room, a thing that he’d learned quickly is off limits (although, technically, the whole room is as well) and probably lethal. The break room does tend to be bustling at any given time though. Cast and Crew aren’t paid by the hour, apparently, and so that means that, as long as work is done, no one cares overmuch if they’re taking a moment to chatter away over food or drink in any part of the opera that’s not directly in the way of somebody else. So perhaps their current arrangement is more for privacy than anything. 

 Or, well, it could be because Legend doesn’t like the break-room coffee or something. Who knows. 

 What he does know is he’s hardly got time to finish that thought before there’s a steaming mug being held before his face, and when he finally works out the thought that he’s supposed to take it, Legend’s already sliding into the spot across from him at the table. 

 “Darjeeling, extra sugar and a bit of honey.” 

 Suddenly Hyrule feels very warm indeed and he hasn’t even drunk a sip of the stuff. “How-” 

 “You never drink coffee and I heard you telling Rav you like tea better. Also, everyone knows you have a sweet-tooth. So, tea. But I’m not buying anyone leaf-water, so you’re drinking real tea.” 

 “Mint is real tea.” 

 “Mint is leaf water and it tastes like green. Nobody should drink that stuff unless they’re sick or losing weight, neither of which you should be.” Legend huffs, sipping on his own mug, the contents of which Hyrule can’t begin to guess, but it’s much lighter than normal coffee. 

 His own mug feels warm in his hands, nice against the chill that still lingers over the world, even in mid-afternoon, and he sips from it cautiously. It’s hot enough to burn, even on just a single sip, but it tastes nice. Very nice actually. “What kind of tea again?” 

 “Darjeeling,” and Legend’s face softens just the slightest bit, more a smirk than a scowl, but there’s something about his eyes that softens too, like bleeding watercolors rather than rough crystal as they usually are. “We keep some in the breakroom too, so help yourself in future.” 

 He will be. 

 “Now,” the vet’s mug finds the table, steam curling up from it to caress his features, softening those too, despite the new creases forming as he regards Hyrule again. “About the stray thing.” 

 Right. 

 There’s still oil and grease and dust streaked in Legend’s hair as the guy draws his hand through it, pushing it back only for it to flutter down again over his face, but there’s no effort made to truly keep it back. “It started with Twi, I guess.” 

 Hyrule nods, curling his hands around his mug and listening closely. 

 “Time and Lullaby apparently found him working in some diner, ages ago. He was about our age, barely making it, fresh outta the system and struggling with a kid.” 

 He didn’t mean to interrupt but the words burst out of him “Twilight has a kid?” 

 Legend blinks at him again, expression unreadable. “....yes.” 

 “Huh,” he feels like he’s missing something here, like Legend thinks he’s missing something, so he just lifts his tea to blow on it. “Cool.” 

 Another blink, and then a brief shake of the head that feels somewhat dismissive, and then the other continues, toying with his own cup as he does. “Sort of a single parent deal. Not great, honestly, and he was having a time of it. Hard to balance a sickly baby and a job, especially when you can’t get a sitter, and he got fired for it. Time found out and offered him a place.” 

 “Like you did with me.” 

 Legend shrugs, but doesn’t disagree. “Time’s big on nicknames, believe it or not. Twi’s is ‘pup’, though I can’t say why. Something about him reminding Time of a lost puppy, or maybe some in-joke I never learned about. Whatever the cause, Cast and Crew caught on and started calling him Time’s stray pup,” a shrug, “they meant nothing by it, really. That generation of Crew were just like that, with everyone, and, in the end, it stuck; Twilight was Time’s stray pup brought into the opera, and well, I ended up similar.” 

 “Really?” 

 Legend shifts, squirms almost, in his seat. “I came to the opera as a baby. Basically born and raised to it. Since my guardian worked there, I came along- again, childcare is hard to find. To them, I was another wee stray brought in and brought up there.”  

There’s a pause where the only sound to be heard is the bustle of the barista and the vet before him sipping his drink, and Hyrule takes the cue to do the same, finding his tea somewhat cooled now. It’s even better now that he can properly taste it and not be burned. 

 “It became a thing. Time finds people who need work, need help, and he brings them in. Some stay, some don’t, but the name stuck. It’s not a word meant to degrade, more just tease the old man.” A snort. “He plays like he’s some tough guy, but he’s just a big softie.” 

 That, Hyrule finds hard to believe. Time is easily the most intimidating man in the opera. The only reason he’s not the most intimidating person there is because Lullaby is worse, with her clicking shoes and the way she stares over her glasses rim at people. The fact that she spends most days behind closed doors only lends to it; she’s rarely seen and thus more unexpected. At least with Time, you know he’s somewhere on the stage or in the rehearsal rooms, stepping in and out to check over Cast and Crew respectively and keep track of what is where.  He has no clue how Legend thinks ‘softie’ when he looks at the man, big, powerful, and missing an eye for reasons nobody seems willing to explain, or perhaps don’t know at all, but he doesn’t say anything about that, just sips his tea. 

 “For a while, it was just Time,” Legend continues. “He’d bring in whatever person was tuggin’ on his heart strings and try to help ‘em out. The name started floating around, but the reason they use it more around Time than around the strays themselves is because, well, it’s a way of teasing him. They’re ribbing the old man for being soft-hearted when he pretends he’s some big scary guy, reminding him that they don’t believe the act.” 

 “But Time didn’t bring me in, you did.” 

 A flush colors freckled cheeks. “Yeah, well, now they use it the same on me.” Soft pink starts darkening as the words continue, and the vet’s hands on his mug start whitening as he grips tighter, gaze down, ears back: embarrassed, Hyrule startles to realize. “When I came back to the opera, things were... different. It’s hard slipping back, and I honestly can’t. Anyone who knew me before thought maybe I was just...having a phase or some shit, so they tease me when I show that I still have feelings, like when I try to help folks.” A shrug, but there’s no attempt to meet his eyes. “Guess I learned too much from Time, but people need jobs and we need workers, so it makes sense to offer.” 

“Does it make sense to help them find living conditions and personally help them move in?” And maybe he’s teasing a bit himself, but he can’t help it. 

 Legend rolls his eyes, bright red now. “We want our crew capable of showing up to work! Not freezing to death in some condemned dump! Who else was gonna make sure you got all your stuff out before it got stolen?” 

 The impulse to point out that it was never stolen when he was working a previous job springs up, but Hyrule dismisses it. Legend’s red enough in the face as is. 

 “Point is,” the other huffs, avoiding looking at him, “everyone just thinks I’m taking after Time, so they’re reusing the old teases. If that bugs you, it’s fine to say something. Heck, if I wasn’t a toddler when they started, it might have bugged me too!” 

 “Does it now?” He can’t help but ask, head tilting on one side as he considers his young boss. 

 “Not really.” Legend shrugs again. “If anything.....” and that pensive look is back, flush not a bit faded beside it, and the vet’s voice is softer when it sounds again. “Honestly, it’s not bad. For me- can't speak for you -it's a name that means I belong there. I got brought in, wanted, and I’m here to stay. Most Cast or Crew leave after a while; they retire, they move on to bigger opportunities, they find work somewhere else. Strays though? Most of us stay, because it’s a place we’re given a chance we wouldn’t have otherwise. The ones that do leave are usually the ones that didn’t really want the chance anyway, or who only wanted it long enough to get elsewhere, to go home or get out of Crown City.” After so long with Legend avoiding him, Hyrule almost startles with violet watercolors find him again. “It’s like a badge. We’re wanted, we belong, and there’s someone who cared enough to bring us in.” 

 Oh. 

 “Granted,” and there’s the head toss, the huff, the dismissal of feelings that’s so very Legend, “it changes. There’s generations now, I guess. And maybe there were some before Time started it. So yeah, you’ll hear some called ‘Time’s strays’, and you guys in the back are mostly gonna be linked to me, since I brought you on, but it’s not cruelly.” 

“I see.” 

 “If it bothers you though,” grease-stained fingers toy with delicate china, “I’ll tell them to stop. Ravio and the rest don’t really mind, though I don’t know if they get why it happens. I don’t mind either, obviously, but if you do-” 

 “No, I-” and it startes him to think it, but “you’re right, it’s not bad. I thought it was them talking down to us because we’re.. I dont know, Crew. Because were less orcame from less.” 

 A twitch in fine features. “You know it’s not just Crew, right? Like, yeah, it’s mostly Crew, but some Cast are strays. I mean,” a tilt of the head towards the window, towards the opera building across the street. “Like I said before, Dusk is one too. Lullaby brought her in apparently, when she was rough on her luck.” 

 The thought makes him start again because while Legend had said it before, it’s still hard to process. Clicky heels and fancy coffee Dusk? Who holds herself like some sort of princess and talks like she owns the room? Cool, calm, reserved Dusk, is a stray? “I find that hard to believe. I mean,” he shakes his head a bit, like maybe that will clear it, “I don’t doubt you, but...” 

 “Oh yeah,” Legend sips his drink, chuckling dryly, “I wasn’t here when it happened, but Twi says she came in basically off the streets.” 

 “Oh.” 

 “So... yeah,” the other snorts at his disbelief, “it’s not derogatory towards Crew. It’s just a name for those who Time or Lullaby saw a spark in and wanted to give a chance to let shine.” 

 “Or you,” he tacks on, and watches crimson bloom fresh again in answer. 

 A nod, brief and stilted. “Yeah. Sure.” 

 And he’s not sure if he’s talking about the explanation, or the fact that Legend had chosen him, had offered that to him too, after being given it himself, but Hyrule can’t help but smile as he stares at the other lad. “Thank you.” 

 The answering grunt and still darkening flush of the vet’s face just make him laugh. 

[doberbutts]

Hi jaz! I know u dont post docking/cropping disc horse on ur blog so if ur ok with it i was hoping u'd be ok answering this privately. Im really really not looking for discourse i was just very curious on what your particular stance on docking/cropping was. There are like obviously advantages and disadvantages for both that I've seen on your blog (from various opinions) but I've only irl met dob owners who are VERY against docking and cropping. Sometimes i see like u reblogged a post of a puppy with docked bandaged ears and i was like "huh! Interesting!" So way less of like a trying to start a discourse thing and more of like. Do you prefer docked or not docked? Do u support docking for any specific reason or not, like i know it used to be so they wouldn't get grabbed or something like that. Sorry if this sounds weird or super blunt im autistic and really terrible at wording things gently,, i've just seen both sides talked about and was wondering like what u thought as a professional dog trainer who's opinion I trust. Its more about personal curiosity than any discourse attempt but also also if u aren't comfortable discussing it at all then no pressure!! Like i dont wanna make u discuss something ur like "damn this is gonna be triggering to talk about" i never want to do that to u.

Thank u for taking the time to read :)

I'm actually fine posting this one publicly, only because I've stated it several times before on this very blog:

I do not give a fuck what other people do with their dogs as long as it is legal within their country and the owner is doing their best to be compassionate and fair to their animals. That can be interpreted whatever way anyone wants it to be.

In other words, someone who makes the decision to have their dog's ears cropped under the care of a vet or who purchases a dog with already cropped ears? Who gives a shit. Not me. Someone who takes a pair of scissors to their dog's ears at home? That person is an asshole and I hate them.

Very few doberman breeders in this country will allow a puppy to go home without cropping the ears or docking the tail. I am not sure if that puppy's breeder counts among them, as I have very little interest in purchasing a dog from her and thus don't know much about that part of her program. The pedigrees are simply not what I feel holds the future of the breed in terms of efforts for longevity combined with working ability, so I simply look elsewhere.

It is worth mentioning that the two fully natural dogs I have had, with one still living, come from countries in which the practice is either banned or so heavily restricted it may as well be banned. If someone is serious about wanting a fully natural doberman, most people will need to import.

I know of less than 10 breeders within this country who would allow the same thing, and of them I think I would only purchase from maybe 2 of them, and *both* of those people would only sell a fully natural dog to me because they know who I am. Someone unknown to them is still getting a cropped and docked dog.

For my own dogs, I avoid all potentially painful procedures that are not medically necessary. This does include cropping and docking, both of which are surgeries and all surgeries do have at least some pain associated with them. However I also don't spay or neuter my dogs for the same reason. When it becomes medically necessary, I will consider surgery. Until then, I will not. Thankfully, I was able to find someone who was willing to play ball with that, and that is why I have had a couple natural dogs. My dobermans prior to that were not, because I was not able to find someone, because they simply didn't exist in this country and I was a poor college kid unable to import.

[flock-talk]

Hey, I was wondering if you or any followers might have some ideas on what's going on with my cockatiel, please!

Basically we used to feed her Harrison's pellets (first fine, then super fine) and sometimes while eating she would do a forwards-backwards neck wiggle as if something were stuck or irritated. This became more frequent and a bigger wiggle as time went on.

When we saw the vet about it they checked all sorts of things and couldn't come up with anything that could be causing it. We eventually stopped feeding her the Harrison's as I worried in case she choked.

After around 5 years we've just put her back on Harrison's as our usual pellet brand is no longer available here. She started off just fine but it's been around 2 weeks now and she's been gradually starting to do the neck wiggle again, more and more frequently and severely (started as a tiny wiggle once, then a small one every couple of days, now it's multiple times daily and it's a pretty big wiggle).

When she eats seeds straight after this happens she's fine. She's also never displayed this issue with any other foods. A couple of times she's gone for water after it happens, and she was always leaning down to eat - not sure if maybe she's finding them too dry or she's swallowing them weirdly or anything?

Do you have any ideas on what might be happening here?

Thank you so much for any input!

I'm not a vet so definitely go with the advice of a professional in this one, assuming this is not your typical regurgitation wiggle from what I've seen before I've had birds act this way when they eat too quickly/ swallow without chewing and sometimes as an allergy response.

I found offering the same pellet in a larger size helped them slow down + chew which vetoed similar issues for me. Sometimes it would linger for a bit before improvement if they had swallowed whole foods that irritated their throats. but given a week or so on a larger pellet I'd see a reduction in the wiggle. If you're feeding the Harrisons hot pepper there's a chance that their throat could be irritated and then the hot pepper is irritating the wounds causing more intense responses, or additionally Harrisons is a soy-based pellet which can be a common allergen for many birds (which again would produce a more obvious reaction if they've irritated their throat prior)

You could definitely try soaking the pellets - being dry is not typically an issue but if they're eating too fast making them softer would reduce throat irritation.

edit: forgot to add that you can also use a variety of foragers to slow down eating, splitting up the food in to a bunch of different locations so they can only have a small portion at a time

[randomvarious]

I've had this post sitting in my drafts for way too long, folks. Basically, there was a brief moment over a year ago when I was writing about full-length concerts on this blog, but I never actually posted this specific one about a Roberta Flack show that took place in Toronto in 1980. All the concert-posting got to be too time-consuming, so I resolved to stop doing it and decided to focus my energies elsewhere, without having any sort of plan to ever post this write-up in particular. But now with the news of Roberta's passing, there's probably no better time to make this post public than now, so people can get to experience her greatness.

So RIP to a complete and total legend 🫡🙏. This concert took place during a pretty tumultuous time within Roberta Flack's own life and career, which I discuss below, along with some other fun nuggets of info and trivia too. Enjoy it 👇.

Roberta Flack: Super Live Special (Live in Toronto, Canada) 1980 R&B / Soul / Singer-Songwriter / Disco

Man, you gotta think that the wounds on Roberta Flack's psyche were still extremely fresh when she went on this tour back in 1980, the year after her dear friend, former Howard University schoolmate, and trusted duet partner, Donny Hathaway, took his own life while battling paranoid schizophrenia. Both her and Hathaway had managed to find massive success as solo artists: Flack had scored unprecedented back-to-back Grammy wins for Record of the Year in '73 and '74, with "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face" and "Killing Me Softly With His Song"—the latter to which Hathaway had also contributed backing vocals—and some of Hathaway's biggest claims to fame had been the holiday standard, "This Christmas," and "Someday We'll All Be Free."

And whenever the two of them teamed up, it also tended to yield something that was really special too. 1972's "Where Is the Love" and 1978's "The Closer I Get to You" would become two of their most popular recordings, but a personal favorite of mine happens to be "Be Real Black for Me," which would go on to lend itself as a terrifically piano-soulful sample for both Brooklyn hardcore rap duo M.O.P.'s "World Famous" and Houston rapper Scarface's "On My Block."

In the year that Hathaway died, though, he and Flack were in the middle of recording their second duets album, which would've been their first since 1972. They only managed to finish a couple of songs for it though, and it forced Flack to complete the album as a solo project, with Hathaway listed as a guest artist.

So, to bring it back to this 1980 set that took place at an amphitheater in Toronto, the two songs that Flack had finished with Hathaway for that album, "You Are My Heaven" and a disco number called "Back Together Again," are performed here, but in Hathaway's stead is the one-and-only Peabo Bryson, who just so happened to be making a name for himself at that point as the talented male portion of male-female vocal duets too. The year prior to this Flack concert, Bryson had managed to put up back-to-back top-20 hits on the Billboard R&B chart with Natalie Cole, and in 1980, he'd continue his streak with Flack herself, with "Make the World Stand Still" going to #13. And then a few years after that, he and Flack would reconvene to release one of the most well-known soft soul ballads of all time, "Tonight I Celebrate My Love."

Now, this set was by no means Roberta Flack's best, but as a seasoned vet, she still managed to bring it here, despite the gutting loss of Donny Hathaway. She performs some of her expected standards, and I don't know what leg of the tour this specific Toronto date was on, but to close out the set with "Back Together Again," a song that she had undoubtedly intended to perform many times over with Hathaway by her side, had to feel awkwardly bittersweet as she sang it with Peabo Bryson instead.

And, by the way, guess who was one of Flack's backup vocalists on this tour? The late, great, velvet-voiced king himself, Luther Vandross! Luther was actually backing a whole lot of stars back then, but he and Roberta Flack had gone back a ways, with one of his first opportunities as a professional singer in the music biz being as a backup vocalist for that Flack and Hathaway album in 1972. But here, Vandross was right on the verge of breaking out. The following year, he'd release his first solo LP, and during the same year as this tour, he'd also provide the lead vocals for Italian-American post-disco project Change, whose biggest hit would become none other than "The Glow of Love," which would then be liberally sampled by UK house duo Phats & Small for one of the world's biggest house tracks at the turn of the millennium, "Turn Around," and then in '01, was also famously sampled again by Janet Jackson for her huge, classic pop hit, "All for You."

It's fun to trace all this stuff and make all these connections, huh?

[inseparabiles]

So, TMI, but my dog died six days ago. A perfectly natural thing, he was 13 and had been on the downward swing for a year - we actually got a year more with him than initially expected, he was so poorly last year for no obvious reason that I was 100% expecting him to pass before fall. But he perked up again, had another good almost-a-year left in him. Even now, it wasn't a surprise in the slightest when he went; he'd started having accidents in the house to the point where I'd feed him on the porch so he had easy access to the lawn instead of having to feel embarrassed about pooping indoors, and just a couple days before his passing, he hit the "one last good day" and I just knew. The night he got sick, I actually woke up to him shaking away an itch and coughing and something in me just knew that was it for him, as if these two perfectly normal things weren't perfectly normal that night.

Alas, it was rough a rough one for me anyway. After spending his last 20 hours on a mattress on the floor with him, we had a vet visit at home to put him to sleep, and he was never in any significant pain or afraid, just tired. It was a good end for the goodest of boys.

After, I had a short cry, felt better and had a magnificent time going to the store and getting some fresh air, then had a HORRIBLE night sobbing ugly on the floor, after which I slept for nine hours like a baby. The next morning, I was fine, then wasn't, then was again, then wasn't, went to the store and felt like a bag of bricks. The next morning, didn't get out of bed for six hours, because everything was so fucking pointless and there's nothing to get up for anyway. I drank about one fifth of the amount I should have during this time and the idea of having fluids made me feel ill.

Now, for the past two days, I've been feeling perfectly fine. I keep jolting to some awareness of, god, where's the dog, did I forget him outside? Oh... right. But aside from that, I haven't felt any significant urge to fall off my feet and cry on the floor until I'm gagging. However, I'm now apparently unable to sleep entirely. Back to my old insomniac ways of not having more than 4 hours of sleep a night. As a bonus, my body has no idea whether it's supposed to be sleeping at night or in the morning. Prior to last Friday, my sleep cycle was around "sleep at 10 in the night", and now it's "sleep at 6 in the morning but still wake up as if I went to bed at 10 in the night". I have no idea how to fix this and frankly, I don't care enough to, I'm too tired, I'm too struggling to adjust to my new normal to bother with something as destined to fail as trying to negotiate with my sleep issues.

But it's very "convenient" that this hit exactly when I stopped showing symptoms emotionally. It's very interesting that this hit exactly when I started showing symptoms of dissociation - thinking I just "forgot" the dog, or "lost" the dog, when I can't see him in the house. Very curious, very interesting indeed. And very interesting that all of the above happened right when I gained access to my usual methods of coping with distress, which is video games; the past couple weeks, I've been nearly entirely gameless due to a broken video card.

Funny how these things "coincide".

In all seriousness, though, I'm proud of the grief work done in this house while we had access to it. We're long-time users of the Calm app, and it has been amazing during this time. Not only that, but despite being generally aversed to emotions, particularly strong emotions, and especially grief, guilt, and anger - we've truly felt all of these things very profoundly and allowed it to happen.

So, maybe when the feelings come back from the war, they'll be at least half-handled already.

Btw, if you have not had tragedy dropped on you before, grief does fuck you up in unexpected and physical ways. If you can’t sleep or sleep more than expected or have more or reduced appetite, or energy goes weird— your brain just had a bunch of emotions dropped on it and sometimes it reacts by hitting every button in your brain. It will pass. Just try to not get too frustrated with yourself.

It’s also fine if you feel normal. Grief literally hits everybody differently, and some people are made to be able to to keep the farm going the day after a death, and some of us turn into sleepless gargoyles and get really into trying to help, and some of us are just unspeakably sad. Grief is weird. Be kind to yourself.

[lozfanchick]

Hey all! This is an apology and basically a rant. I doubt many will read it but I need to get this out and, this is probably the only place I can.

Firstly, I'm sorry! I know the oubing fans are waiting for more writing about Ao Bing and Nezha in the Avatar!AU and shadowpeach fans are waiting for the ending chapters for The Parent Trap AU. I wish I could say I've been writing but I haven't. Not due to lack of interest!! I still ADORE these couples and WANT srsly like so bad to write but life is just really really hard right now. So I am sorry, please don't think I've abandoned you all! I haven't!!

So now onto the rant part of this. And again I'm sure no ones reading this and that's fine. I just need to get this out there. Like a diary entry but also a genuine ask for advice if anyone wants to read this and supply any.

So life is bad right now, like burn out and husk left behind bad. My job has always been hard. I worked about 70 hours before having a kid, had to cut it back to about 50 afterwards. And I've been here for so long, stuck thru all the BS and made it to be one of the Mangers! And yet all my work, experience, effort is just being thrown back in my face. They keep trying to push me to my prior position. They won't listen when I try and speak up for the staff under us, disregard what I say and it's just gotten worse. Now they're nitpicking everything I do, trying to make it all a big issue when I haven't done anything wrong or broken any procedure so they have to eventually drop it. But it's like working with vultures constantly over my head.

But the worse part is, I've been looking for a new job. I've reached out to recruiters and put applications in over 25 places but no one is reaching back out to me. It just is so defeating. Like I can't express how low I feel in myself. I am good at my job, but evidently I must look bad on paper or something cause I only got one interview at a place that had a bad environment so I didn't want to join.

I've talked with my family and since this has been going on for a few months they're starting to tell me to settle for the place with a bad environment, if I can call and beg them to reinterview me. It's such a low feeling. And there's no fixing it other than I just need a new job. Which this isn't a movie so that doesn't just happen and there's no quick fix.

And if work shit wasn't enough, my dog has something going and our vet doesn't know what to do and other vets have not been getting back to me, even after emailing them several times. I'm so afraid it's a tumor on his tongue and I'll loose him. He's my first baby and I can't imagine a life without him!

My kid is the only highlight in my life. But parenting is so hard. Kids always act the worst with their parents/gaurdians and sometimes it's just so hard and tuff to keep it all together and keep up with the house work and everything when all I want to do is lay down.

so tldr I'm extremely burnt out and genuinely just don't know what to do. Like I'm so out of it that I find it exhausting to even interact with the fandoms. Which SUCKS (esp since the oubing fandom blew up thanks to Nezha 2)! Usually I like things and before my likes can reach too much over 100 I reblog them with comments in the notes. But now that seems too daunting and exhausting; and my likes are over 400!! Even youtubers I'm subscribed to, I hesitate to watch their new videos cause...I don't know! There's this weird hesitance or like a wall! I don't know if its from how burned out I am or what, but I'm asking if anyone has had that before and if there's any tips to help with it.

I'm not looking for a magic wand to fix everything but I need baby steps on how to get out of this funk. So if anyone has had something similar happen to them. Where even reblogging things seemed like such an effort, can you please share some tips with me on how to help myself???

[itachi-uchiha-deserved-better]

Burning questions for the muse:

Who is your best friend?

Who is a friend you just tolerate?

Have you ever had a crush on a friend?

Who is someone you wish was your friend?

My best friend is my husband. But outside of that, we have another couple we've both been friends with since before we started dating. I even lived at their house for a month in vet school and before that, my husband and I both rented part of their first house from the husband Prior to them getting married. They're our second family and why we ended up coming back to the city we now live in.

I don't really have friends I just tolerate. If that's how you feel about someone, I don't feel like they're really your friend. Sometimes there are friends of my friends that I don't particularly get along with, but tolerate for my friends sakes, but I wouldn't call that friend of a friend my friend....if that makes sense?

Absolutely I've had crushes on my friends. My husband, obviously, but since I'm Ace, I have to have a personal connection to someone before any feelings develop. I went on one date with a stranger and hated it. Every other person I've dated or had romantic feelings for was a friend first and foremost.

Someone I wish was my friend....that's challenging. I feel like the closest thing to that I can think of is an old friend I had a bad falling out with. We played DND together and had a lot of fun. I miss that. But she wound up not being the kind of person I thought she was, and ultimately she ghosted me after a disagreement over a DND game, despite assuring me that everything between us was fine and well...I finally burned the bridge when I realized that I was too old to be playing that kind of game. We were adults, It was ridiculous that she wouldn't communicate with me like an adult, even if that communication was "hey I don't want to be your friend anymore."

Just ignoring me hurt ten times worse than any kind of confrontation or honesty ever would have. But I do miss the way things were between us back when we were both in undergrad. That said, I don't regret deleting her contacts, unfriending or blocking her. My husband reached out a few years back and apparently she 'regretted how things ended between us' but that bridge is long gone and frankly, the only thing I regret is how long I let her actions eat at me.

[crittercrossing]

Katy Health Update

My old girl has been having a pretty rough time lately. It's hard to watch her go through this, especially knowing that not all of it is treatable, because some of her issues are simply from old age. I didn't know exactly how bad of shape she was in for a while, during the months last year and part of this year when I was unable to visit my family (with whom my dogs currently live). Once I was able to visit her regularly, I realized how drastically she has aged in the past couple of years—and discovered some additional health issues that I had no idea she had.

Katy was diagnosed with hip dysplasia when she was about five, and she's been dealing with general pain and stiffness for a while. The only treatment I had her on was daily carprofen for her joint pain. It helped a little bit, but she was still not even remotely in good shape. She was miserable most of the time. Most days, she couldn't stand up on her own. She could no longer walk up and down stairs--even the short flight of two steps to come in and out of the house. Even on small hills, she would often fall and be unable to pick herself up. I was devastated to see her like that. I was terrified that her time was running out, because I wasn't going to let her go on in that shape for much longer.

While visiting the dogs one day, I was brushing Katy when I noticed that her skin appeared to be red and irritated. Katy's fur is SO incredibly thick, and pretty much always has been. It was so thick that I couldn't really see what was going on with her skin, but I could tell it wasn't good. I decided to shave her—something that is often recommended against for collies, but I've shaved Katy a few times before, and her fur has always grown back normally. I was horrified to see that almost her entire body was covered in some kind of irritated rash, and she had hair loss in some spots. I guess the fur around those spots was so thick that I couldn't really tell, maybe? Once shaved, I could also tell that this mass that's been at the base of her tail for several years appeared to be bigger. This mass had been checked out by her vet. They didn't aspirate it or anything, so we didn't know what it was, but they said it probably wasn't anything bad, so they left it alone.

Additionally, Katy's seizures suddenly ramped up in frequency. She had always had maybe one or two seizures a year, and about half of them followed doses of Bravecto from years ago when she used to take it (it was not yet common knowledge that dogs with epilepsy shouldn't take chewable flea/tick preventatives, and prior vets had specifically recommended it for her). But for whatever reason, several months ago, Katy began having strange episodes that were almost certainly seizures multiple times a week. This went on in total for almost a month before we found out what was going on and started treating it. In these episodes, she would sometimes kick her back legs a little bit, but for the most part, she would lie completely motionless and be unresponsive for three to seven minutes at a time. Not even her eyes would move. My dad says that during one of these episodes, he held her by the neck and shoulders and gently shook her, and she didn't even seem to know she was being touched. Though Katy's prior seizures had always been the kind where she shook violently all over, I had a suspicion that these strange new episodes were seizures as well. And I was horrified about how often they were suddenly happening.

I felt like things had escalated so quickly, so I took her to the vet several times. In the first visit, we focused on getting her new episodes under control. The doctor confirmed my suspicion and said that it sounded like these were almost certainly seizures, and it was a really bad sign that they were suddenly happening that frequently. She was prescribed an antiepileptic medication to start immediately.

We ran blood work, which thankfully came back within normal limits on her CBC and other basic tests. Interestingly, her thyroid level was extremely low. Going into this, the doctor had said that one of the possible diagnoses for Katy was hypothyroidism, which would explain some her symptoms, such as lethargy, hair loss, and seizures. We ran an additional test to confirm the diagnosis, and indeed, Katy has pretty severe hypothyroidism. I had no idea. I never would have guessed. I keep thinking, what if Katy has had hypothyroidism for years? She's battled with skin issues and seizures for half her life, and I've never thought to have her thyroid levels checked before. I know "what-ifs" won't help anything here, but I can't help but wonder if her aging process could have been less miserable if, perhaps, she had been tested for this years ago. Katy started thyroid medication as well.

In addition, her skin issue was diagnosed as dermatitis that was being worsened by fleas. I've struggled for years with controlling fleas on Katy. The other two dogs stay on Bravecto year-round, which works wonders, but Katy came off of it years ago when I found out that epileptic dogs shouldn't take chewable preventatives. That leaves topical preventatives as the only option, and the vast majority of them don't really work on fleas in our area anymore. I treated Katy with them, but she always had fleas while the other two didn't. The doctor suggested a Seresto collar, which, in all honesty, I had forgotten those existed (plus, I didn't know anything about their safety in epileptic dogs until Katy's doctor recommended it). I got one of those for Katy, and so far, no one's seen a flea on her. Katy also got some prescription shampoo, and she gets bathed once or twice per week with it.

Once all the big things were under control, we started tackling the smaller pieces of Katy's Big Health Puzzle. The mass on her tail was finally aspirated, and it's a lipoma. It doesn't seem to be bothering her. As long as it continues to not bother her, I'm not going to put her through the stress of being sedated to remove it. She was also diagnosed with carpal hyperextension, which I thought she must have had. It wasn't until the doctor pointed it out that I thought to go back and compare photos of Katy's front legs from her early years versus now, and there is a very noticeable difference in how her wrists have held up over the years. She's also been battling an ear infection as of late, but I think that's finally clearing up after lots of ear cleaning and antibiotic drops.

It's now been about three months since all of this started, and for the first time in a long time, I feel mildly optimistic about the rest of Katy's time with us. I know she's extremely old, and she may not have a long time left here. She's feeling tremendously better than she was, but she is still very much struggling. I'm incredibly relieved to know that she's not completely miserable all the time, though. She can stand up on her own almost all the time now. She can handle stairs about half the time. She walks better. The other day, she looked like she felt the best she's felt in years, so we went on our first walk together in several years (we couldn't go for so long due to extreme challenges with my health, and then hers). It was wonderful.

All of this is bittersweet. I know it's coming. Though we went on a nice walk and she kept up a decent pace for her age, she still fell down once. Though she eats well and seems alert and seeks attention from her people, she still looks uncomfortable when she gets up and down. I know she's in some pain all the time, and I don't know that any medication can stop that. But for now, she is being adored and cherished. Her fur is growing back, as thick and as lovely as ever, and her skin is clearing up. She hasn't had a seizure since starting the antiepileptic. When I go over to visit her, she comes straight to me as soon as I come in the door, and she looks at me with the same soulful eyes she's always had. She wags her tail and smiles at me. I crouch down to her level since she can no longer jump up to mine, and she tries her best to knock me over, stand on top of me, and she presses her head into my chest and stands there, wagging.

I hope there are no major updates for a while. Katy deserves peace, love, and happiness in this stage of her life. I hope she knows how desperately I love her and how grateful I am to get to spend time with her now.

[pigeon-behavior]

Hello~ My 6 mo boy (DNA tested) is eating noticeably less in the last week or two: he eats about one tablespoon/day rather than 2/day like before (he's meal fed to curb the pickiness). He's fed Baden Fancy Mix. Also I've noticed that whereas he'd mostly ignore his grit before (VL all in one) in the few months I've had him, he's started eating a lot more in the last couple of weeks. He also seems to be expelling fewer, bigger poops lately too. I'm wondering if eating so much grit could be the explanation why he's eating less seeds? Should I offer grit only a few hours a day to encourage feeding? Is this a thing that's common or documented, or should I be worried? He had his post purchase vet exam (including fecals) about 3 months ago and was given a pristine bill of health. Thanks for the help!

Nothing is immediately jumping to my mind, but I'd like to gather a little more information here before giving up

1. Could you send me the guaranteed analysis from the back of your feed bag? I can find your feed online, but I CAN'T find any detailed information on it. I only need to know the protein, fiber, and fat content.

2. Did your boy recently finish molting? Or perhaps he has just begun molting? Components found in grit would be very useful in building his plumage.

3. Do you know and keep track of his weight? Depending on his size he's either eating way too little regular food or just like, a smidge too little.

I will say that I wouldn't necessarily be surprised if he had passed some hormone threshold where he is not growing as fast anymore, but other parts of him are maturing more. That 6 month molt is very standard and its very thorough - it changes their feather quality noticeably. Or he could just need it for some other invisible reason. Hard to say.

Personally I wouldn't freak out right away. It doesn't sound like he's acting strange otherwise. Keep an eye on him, but see if he's eating more in a week or two. If he isn't, I would go to the vet, just to be safe. But it's entirely possible he needs to fill up his mineral reservoir a little and he'll naturally return to his prior eating habits.

He may have been eating so much before due to a growth spurt, too. So again, knowing his weight would be helpful. Babies typically eat a LOT of food - significantly more than adults - and can even briefly outweigh their parents before they fly.

So no, I wouldn't call this previously recorded necessarily, but neither would I call it highly concerning either

[cursivebloodlines]

"She is just... she's very persuasive, that's for certain," Dougie agreed with a laugh. Honestly? Serena was right; Emma had definitely...a way about her, a way with words. But they were effective, weren't they? It was her words that brought him here, in front of his first proper crush. Words that had him here, a second chance. And as awkward as he was, he was determined to make it count. For...however long it lasted. Dougie peered over at Emma, who seemed to have found her way back to her husband by this point and he couldn't help but smile, nodding his head in agreement to her comment about how happy the couple were. "Indeed they do, which makes this whole occasion better. Would be awful if they were marrying each other and not be happy, especially on their special day, huh?" he teased lightly, giving her a gentle, little nudge.

Curiosity really had piqued his mind, though, drifting back to her friend's words. Were Emma's words true? It's not like he could lead with that question. 'Hey, your best friend told me you had a crush on me back in school. Was that true? Could it be still true?' God, no. Never. He would have been mortified if someone tried that with him. Maybe he could work up to it, Dougie wondered. If their interaction lasted long enough to...he had to make it work. Where there was a will, there was a way. And he had to try at the very least; but not yet. There was a time, and that time was not now. Not yet.

Despite his mind being in two places at once, he was actually listening intently. And his ears pricked up at Serena's words, his expression falling slightly. "Could be better?" he repeated quietly, face full of concern. "What's wrong?" Was that being a bit pushy? An awkward flush rose to his cheeks and he cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. "You don't...you don't have to answer that," he added quickly, not wanting to pressure the poor girl, a nervous hint of laughter tagged on the end. Dougie watched as she tucked her hair behind her ear, partly wishing he was the one to do that for her. What was he even thinking? A bit much too soon, wasn't it? Jeez. Always too much of something, or not enough. Shortly after, the question was directed back at him and he didn't really know what to say. Dougie shrugged his shoulders, running a hand across his jaw in thought as his eyes were still on her, captivated by her beauty entirely. "Oh, me? I'm good, yeah. I've been alright." Or at least, he was working on it. Being good was probably an exaggerating; but he'd certainly been a lot worse. Considering everything that had happened, he was in a lot better place than he was only a couple of years prior. But she didn't need to know that, bit too much for a discussion at a wedding at least. "I'm working at a vet clinic now, so I guess it's true when they say dreams do come true." It was always something he knew he wanted to do even as a kid. It took longer than what others would have expected of him due to his lack of self confidence, but he got there in the end. And despite everything, it was his safe space. A place where he felt like he was making a difference, doing something that mattered.

Had Dougie heard right when Serena asked him to dance? Her reaction to her own question confirmed that question: a resounding yes. His eyebrows rose in silent question, a little smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he noticed the flush creeping up on her face. She was adorable. A soft laugh escaped his lips when she rushed to offer him a way out, an assurance that it was no pressure, he didn't have to. If it had been anyone else, it would have been a no. He didn't do dancing. But...maybe he was feeling a little brave that day... and what did he have to lose? An opportunity to talk with her some more? No, he couldn't have that. If he screwed up, he could just...blame it on the alcohol, say he lost his footing because of that. Even if in reality, the man was just accident prone. "Sure, we can dance." Douglas even surprised himself, the way the words came out so easily. "As long as you don't mind me having two left feet. You've been warned," he joked... Half joked. Though in reality, his heart was thudding against his chest as he extended his hand out to her. Don't screw it up.

The thought of Taylor finding out that she and Doug had been talking at the wedding chilled Serena a little. Not because she was afraid of Taylor but her sister could be something else and get very intense when she didn't agree with something. She definitely wasn't going to be happy to find out about them talking if that rumor reached her ears.

Emma had better not have told Douglas about the little crush she'd had for him in high school because Serena didn't think she'd ever look him in the eye again if her friend had said that. Emma could loosen up a lot drunk so she wouldn't be surprised if she had opened her mouth too wide. "She can be… a lot sometimes and very intimidating" The corner of her mouth quirked up "but I'm sure Eric can handle her, they look really happy together" If there were two people who could make a marriage work it was Emma and Eric. Why would he say something that could embarrass him? Serena didn't think anything could make her see him any less than the great guy really was. "I've been… good, could be better but I'm happy to be back." Serena tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She had returned a few months ago to teach at the local dance studio that had seen her grow. Could be better if her boyfriend didn't cheat on her but hey, at least she hasn't thought about him at all since Doug came to say 'hi' "What about you?" She replied before crossing her arms over her chest.

Suddenly, she looked at him and was invaded by the sudden urge to kiss him, to know how his lips tasted, to taste that sacred nectar that she had always been wanting from the sidelines and that could never have. She bet his lips were soft and warm just like she had imagined all along. Douglas was cute, he always had been but sometimes he had bright those blue eyes that seized all the sadness in her heart when he looked at her. As if everything around her dissapeared when he looked at her.

"Do you wanna dance?" Serena blurted out almost without thinking. She could feel her face heat up almost instantly after those words left her mouth. Oh no! God, she should have just shut her mouth and let it go. If he rejected her, she would probably never get her head out of the ground again for the rest of her life. She did actually want to dance with him but Serena didn't want to push him to do that cause he felt some type of obligation towards her "We don't have to if you don't want to" She quickly added in an attempt to fix her mistake. Her and her big mouth. Serena just wished she could keep her mouth shut. Maybe she should run, get out of there and pretend all this never happened.

[kogatism]

I hate to be so negative in a time like this. Pride month just started, and I'm sure everyone is looking forward to Summer. However, I received some Earth shattering news.

As you all know, I have a cat named Mickey. He's the light of my life, my sunshine, my angel, my everything. I've considered him a son since I've had him. That said, I haven't had him for long. About 5 years ago is when I brought him home. He belonged to my bf at the time, but that bf was extremely abusive not just to me, but Mickey too. After he left, he tried to get Mickey back but I refused. Mickey had already become super attached to me and was actually terrified of him. Needless to say, I ended up keeping him.

He was in such horrible shape, because he was never taken to the vet. So he had a severe case of ear mites, wasn't neutered or micro-chipped. He also had a broken tooth. His upper left canine, it looked like it had been chipped somehow. I'm not sure what happened, but it's possible it's from being kicked in the face. I had witnessed my ex beating him on one occasion too, so it's very likely this was happening prior to me bringing him home.

Now Mickey wasn't a kitten when I received him. I actually don't know how old he is since my ex told me he was 13 but he did NOT have any indications of being that old. Plus he lied about fucking everything so I couldn't take his word for it. I assumed he was about 6 or 7 based on the condition of his teeth (besides that one chipped tooth)

Since then, I've made so many beautiful memories with him. He's seen me go through some really hard times of my life and he was always there. He was my shoulder to cry on. Whenever I'd get upset he'd pop up out of nowhere and make sure to give me lots of love and snuggles. I genuinely don't know where he came from, but he's quite literally an angel on Earth. One thing I know for sure is this cat loves me more than life itself, and he showed me what love is. I didn't know what love really was like. I have severe trust issues with people so no matter how much I'm told I'm loved there's still doubts. With him however? Animals don't lie, you know when they love you. I believe I'm just as important to him as he is to me.

That brings us to today. Or well, the last couple months. Beginning of April I noticed the upper left side of his face was really swollen. It was strange because it seemed to had happened overnight. He wasn't giving off any impression that he was in pain but I had a feeling it was dental related. I took a look at his teeth and noticed the upper left canine (the tooth that was chipped) was EXTREMELY loose. Like I could've pulled it out with my bare hands, but I didn't. We called the vet right away and they removed the tooth, and gave us some medicine. I gave him the medicine as instructed, and we brought him back a couple more times to make sure everything was okay, which it had seemed to. The swelling went down significantly, his breath wasn't bad anymore. It all seemed okay. Fast forward to last weekend, I noticed his face began to look really puffy again. His breath was also really bad like it was before the tooth had been pulled. Of course it concerned me, but we couldn't call the vet until Tuesday so I got onto a live chat with a vet to get any type of opinion on what I should do and what it may be. I was told it was probably an abcess that needed an operation to be drained and closed properly. Which is pretty extreme but for his comfort I was willing to do, that's when we took him in on Tuesday after calling. Upon further inspection they decided to put him in for surgery the next day (today) to have it cleaned out. They gave us medicine too to help fight off any infection and ease pain.

Little did I know when I sent him off to surgery, I'd receive the worst news of my life. I was of course worried about him, but I didn't think it could get any worse. I was wrong. My dad came home and when i went out to the hallway i saw he was on the phone, and my mom was standing there. The look on her face said it all. Something is wrong with Mickey. Also, I don't live with my mom so it was strange for her to be there. This is when i was told that what's in his upper lip is a tumor. Meaning he has some form of cancer. It's also an aggressive cancer, which would be extremely difficult to treat and also very expensive. They were trying to get a sample to send off to see exactly what type of cancer it is but there was no luck in retrieving that sample. He's still alive, but we don't know how much longer he has.

To hear this news, it feels like my whole world is falling apart. I feel like life is punishing me for something. Even then, why him? Why my baby? He doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve to be in pain, and doesn't deserve to suffer. I didn't ever think that I would have to be thinking about the end of his life right now. I was thinking for many more years... but here we are. It truly feels like losing a child. To me he is no different than a child. He was my biggest reason to keep living. I struggle with su***dal thoughts, so whenever I begin to think about it I think about it I would think about Mickey to help me come back and be like okay I can't do this my baby needs me.

But what now? How am i going to be able to cope with this... and we got to bring him home so I'm able to keep snuggling him and loving him for as long as he's here and for that I am grateful. However I don't want to put him through too much pain, and I don't know what to expect or how much longer he will have. He could pull through on a miracle but we're more than likely not going to go through with chemo or any of that just because it's so expensive, also really stressful and painful for him. He doesn't deserve to suffer at my expense.

I don't know what else to say... other than... please keep him in your thoughts and prayers. He's such a beautiful soul, and I just don't want him to be in pain anymore. I can only hope he heals but I can't get my hopes up, so I just want him to be comfortable. If he's gonna go I'm gonna be there. Will it be the worst day of my life? Absolutely, but this cat genuinely was an angel sent to me. I was his angel. I love you so much Mickey, you'll always be my special guy no matter what.

I'm really sorry again for this negativity, but I hope you can all understand.

[supernaturalnovelsandmore]

Supernatural Novel: The Unholy Cause

Welcome to my review of the fifth Supernatural novel, The Unholy Cause

Author: Joe Schreiber

Timeline: Set after Episode 5.08 Changing Channels but before Episode 5.16 Dark Side of the Moon

Location: Mission's Ridge, Georgia

Synopsis: As the pressure mounts for the upcoming apocalypse, Sam and Dean head to the historic town of Mission's Ridge, GA, where the Civil War is less about the past and more about the present. With interference from Castiel, demons, and Judas Iscariot himself, how can Sam and Dean prevent a major catastrophe from befalling this small town?

Review: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Warning: Spoilers abound!

After the last book, I was really hoping to see an improvement in this one, and boy did I! I've finally hit the Supernatural tie-in novel I was hoping to read from the beginning! It read like an actual episode, I could hear the actors speaking through the character's words, and I really couldn't find anything that contradicted canon.

In addition, the actual storyline was compelling and the side characters interesting. With the other novels I've reviewed, it's taken me most of the day to read them because I kept getting distracted. This one, I read straight through without stopping. I love reading a book like that!

Side note: This novel does dive in to Christian theology and the story of Judas Iscariot (who betrayed Jesus). If you are uncomfortable delving into that portion of Christianity, you may not want to read the book or this review (though my review notes about that will be minimal).

Now, since I don't have any canon vs. non-canon comparisons to make, today's review is simply going to be a list of my favorite scenes and how certain scenes relate to what's going on during this period in Season 5.

Cameo!

Sam and Dean are informed of the case by one Rufus Turner! He's only in it for a brief bit, but he's still funny as heck asking the police to pay his dry-cleaning bill.

We get a nice character introduction of enigmatic (clueless) Castiel who's trying to heal Civil War reenactors who are understandably frightened of him. He's still searching for God at this point, but we also get this nice character beat for him:

"I walked the battlefields of the South a hundred and sixty years ago," Castiel replied, a faraway look entering his eyes. "I moved among the men and brought their souls to glory. And now..." Something moved over his face for just an instant, so rare and brief that Dean almost didn't catch it; a flicker of hope. "And now," he repeated, "I'm healing again."

Of course, Dean has to explain that none of the reenactors actually need healing and he goes back to being determined to find a 'First-order witness' - someone who broke bread with Jesus Christ.

I found this part surprising within the book, but as I thought about it, it made more sense. The TV series has to tread a very careful line with Christianity so as not to offend a bunch of viewers, but the books have a much smaller audience and can take these liberties. Personally, I was fine with it. They didn't go too deep and stuck with the witness being Judas (who doesn't exactly have a great reputation to begin with).

There's a fantastic brotherly moment where Sam shares the sheriff's name (Jack Daniels) and they then go back and forth trying to guess what this Jack person is like i.e., fat vs. skinny, bald vs. hairy...

Dean: "Nam vet. Buford Pussar type. From Walking Tall." Sam: "Deliverance refugee. Civil citations all over his desk."

One of things I love about this book is the brother's relationship. This banter and other character beats really feel authentic as opposed to the prior novels. (I won't spoil what the sheriff is actually like - needless to say, they play a major role in the book.)

Just a few pages later from this great banter, we're back to the drama as Sam and Dean argue about a nightmare Sam had that he can't remember, but which could be relevant to the case.

"What's this about Dean?" Sam demanded, "Is it about you not trusting me? Because if it is, there's not a whole lot of places we can go from there." "Yeah, you're my brother," Dean said. "But you're also Lucifer's prom dress, and if he's seeding your dreams with hints about the master plan, then maybe it might be a good idea for you to look at 'em as close as possible. That's all I'm saying."

And of course, Dean gets concerned about Sam as they split up to cover more ground. It's music to my ears! There are a number of other conversations like this that really emphasize the strained relationship Sam and Dean display in Season 5.

Another surprising character beat is the influence of Lucifer on Sam because as he's doing research at the local historical society, Sam (and the historian) are surprised to find out he can read Coptic, an ancient Egyptian language. It startles Sam and once again emphasizes how different he is.

At a particularly gruesome crime scene (a mass grave), there's a brief moment with Dean that really shines as he looks down on the skeletons in the mass grave and finds a similarity to what he did in Hell:

Because that was what he did after spending years down there, doing what he'd done... Through sheer force of will, Dean shoved those notions aside...Now more than ever he didn't want that experience contaminating the way he looked at the world... not that he had a choice. Hell had been his Vietnam. It had stamped its mark on him for all eternity, and no amount of denial or self-imposed ignorance was going to change that.

There's an additional moment of traumatized Dean that I wish they could have shown in the tv series:

Sam: "Are those bloodhounds?" Dean didn't answer... When Sam finally caught a look at his brother's face, he saw that Dean's cheeks and forehead had gone absolutely white, as if every drop of blood had been sucked away... "They're not hellhounds, Dean, they're just dogs..." Dean didn't answer. He was still listening to the barking and howling noises coming closer, crashing through the undergrowth. He seemed paralyzed by the sounds.

There are more to these Dean passages, (too much to copy), but I really like that we see actual effects of past experiences.

There's also a nice scene with Sam and a young teenager that really highlights his ability to connect with kids around that age (of which we see later in the TV series):

"My brother and I grew up without a Mom, too," Sam said... "It wasn't always easy... Not everybody gets that." "I still dream about her sometimes, you know? Even though I was young when she... when it happened," Nate blinked at Sam. "Weird, huh?" "Are they good dreams?" "Yeah." "Then it's good. That's your way of remembering her."

The last third of the book is very action-oriented and has multiple instances of hurt Sam and hurt Dean, with the requisite caring from each brother.

Once again, I've gone on too long, but I'll end with a couple of favorites: Humor:

The sheriff glanced out the window, (referring to Baby) "And haul that piece of crap car to the impound lot. I don't want it cluttering up my street." "Woah!" Dean snapped, a sudden rush of anger rising in his face. "Watch your damn mouth. You can't just---"

Drama:

"This is blood money," Sam reached into his pocket and pulled out the Shekel. "Bobby says the only way anybody gets their hand on this..." The rest of the sentence was getting stuck in his chest, and he made himself finish it, "is by betraying someone you love." Dean stared at him. "Dean..." "Look," Dean broke in. "Don't get too hung up on it, okay? It doesn't necessarily mean anything," he stood up and brushed off his jeans. "Whatever happens between us, we'll deal with it then..."

Thanks again for reading! I'll be back again next week with War of the Sons!

[doberbutts]

What would be a use for a prong collar, in your opinion? With pet dogs I’ve never seen a use for them no matter the breed but I don’t know the first thing about protection sports and that could well be why I see no use for them.

I can give you a "pet people" use for a prong collar.

I once trained a dane who got to be about 220lbs. No, that's not just a random number someone gave me, I trained this dog for over a year and I've seen the vet paperwork. He really was over 200lbs.

His owner, by comparison, was maybe 5ft tall and not anywhere close to his weight.

For the most part, he was well behaved on leash and walked nicely without pulling. But every once in a while, he would see something and want to pull towards it. And at that weight, if he actually managed to pull... his owner was definitely going along with him.

This dog was competing in rally. He had all of his CGCs. He was a delight in class and he loved to be A Good Boy (tm) for his owner. But sometimes, Dog Brain (tm) won over Good Boy Brain (tm). His owner was not a first time dog owner, in fact they'd trained multiple rottweilers in schutzhund prior to getting this dog.

Do you believe that this owner should continue to risk injury because of the maybe 5% of the time the collar would actually be needed?

I once helped a couple train their pair of rottweilers that they'd recently adopted. Both adults, both heavy pullers on leash. To make matters worse, the one who was home most of the time and needed to be walking them was the wife, who discovered not only was she pregnant but her pregnancy was severely high risk shortly after adopting these dogs. They'd made a commitment to keeping them as a forever home, so they needed a "now" solution while working on training.

Do you believe that this couple should continue to risk the loss of their baby while they use a different tool and method to teach these dogs not to pull?

I once helped trained a pit mix that was highly human and dog aggressive, in a place where BSL meant that if this dog was given up he would immediately be euthanized. This dog was already putting holes in their guests, was knocking down the elderly woman in the house, and was terrorizing the neighborhood on walks. With the use of a prong collar to give him a clear signal of "no, don't do that", his behavior improved tremendously as the owners taught him correct behavior and practiced good management of what they couldn't fix.

Do you think this dog should continue to be a danger to everyone around him for the sake of simply saying they don't use a specific training device?

What is the use of a prong collar? The same as any other aversive on the market. To teach the dog not to do something, while you are also using other quadrants to teach the dog what behavior you do actually want. It's just positive punishment.

[bangchanswolfpelt]

Vetting potential sugar daddies? You need to tell me more about that 👀 And you're going glutenfree !! That's actually much more difficult than, really, it should be--i'm speaking from experience </3

Tbz and sf9 are amazing, i'm wholeheartedly supporting you getting sucked into the bottomless abyss that is their charms :)) and i don't think me praying for you will be able to change that. Any (potential) biases yet?? 👀

And i'm doing good! Although it still feels as if 2022 has just started yesterday, so i don't really have any feelings about it yet lmao. Let's see how this year will turn out, i'm in good spirits, however ✨

-🍒

hahaha, it's honestly just kinda like chatting people up on tinder, except i'm slightly more motivated to entertain actually talking to complete strangers 😂 i made a profile on one of the more ""reputable"" sites, ignored a lot of the messages i've gotten, but i've had a couple guys i'm talking to on-and-off. it's entertaining in the way that tinder or any other kind of online dating is—skimming through what people decide to put in their profiles is always entertaining, and maybe

going gluten free actually isn't as rough as i would've imagined it would be a couple years ago?? but i've also realized that i could just. live on rice and eggs, so that helps a lot 😅 plus, i've heard the lettuce wraps at In-n-Out are actually decent, so that'll be nice when the drive-thru line isn't two miles long. i do miss the hell out of bread, tho 😔

re: The Boyz, i'm still getting to know all of them, but Sunwoo caught the hell out of my attention during Kingdom and is definitely in the lead (see: car wash porn parody promo, Rich Brian cover, getting jealous on vlive, his taste in fucking anime ohmygod i wanna sit this boy down and make him mainline so much anime with me and the fact that i can't actuallly makes me a lil mad forreals) ((he might be my lockscreen rn, but shhhhhhhh, don't tell Eunkwang))

Sangyeon was the other one who caught my eye during kingdom and i'm still pretty 😵‍💫 over him; the vocal parts that make me perk up when they're on always seem to be his, and seeing him complain about his dumbfuck children during mafia was sooooooo good for me—i have a soft spot for tired leaders and it's serving him very well. i'm also growing distinctly fond of Kevin and Jacob, as well, and Q seems like a delightfully evil little genius.

as for SF9: i've been dipping into their music more than anything that shows off their personality, so we're still hovering around the main four that caught my eye during Kingdom.

Taeyang — this shouldn't be a surprise, if he's not the one that regularly drags people into this fandom the way Kim 'i just wanted to know who the one with blue hair was!!' Taehyung and Lee 'when did this kid hit puberty??' Felix do, i will put ketchup on my slipper and eat it. seeing his outfit for that one Teardrop stage was what dragged me back into this hell, actually, so 🥲

Hwiyoung — i thought he was pretty generically handsome and stiff at the start of the rap unit collab, but seeing him try to loosen up and have fun was really endearing. and then their kcon performance came and kicked me in the fucking chest—i'm sorry, shirt with more buttons undone than done, hair in a messy bun, that totally relaxed, loose-limbed vibe??? stick a fork in me, i'm fuckin done

Inseong — i noticed him from the very start of Kingdom, he had such a playful, impish vibe the whole time; it was the vocal unit collab that fucking got me, tho, you can't make a boy cry on this show and expect me to not want to take him 😔

Jaeyoon — i don't even know what it is about him, because looks-wise, he's not the type i'm usually into? and i usually have to have some prior investment before things like a firm b-cup get to me honestly. i think it was the vocal unit collab, actually, he and Inseong both were so tall and so handsomely awkward when the iKon boys showed up, it was truly delightful. plus, despite the tragic ending, i did really enjoy that particular stage.

aside from them, the only ones i can even match a name to a face with are Zuho (will i ever stop being unhornily mad about the line "I'm the male version of Venus"? probably not) and Chani (babbyyyyyyy 🥺).

i'm so glad you're doing well!! honestly, 2022 still feels like an extension of 2021, in the same way last year just felt like an extension of 2020, but we'll see how long that lasts. regardless of how it turns out, we have each other<3