#I've got TWO players who are both DM's

[javaaddiction]

Dming for the first time when I go back to school after holidays, drew some of my player's characters and one of the major NPC's for refs :)

[canirove]

Ben Chilwell Imagine | seven

Author's note: Just something random I came up with the other day after seeing this post by @lovelynikol16 She wrote it about Mason, but I feel like these days we need some cute and nice Ben content, so I wrote it for him. As always, I hope you like it, and thank you for reading! 💜 Little summary: Ben Chilwell, the football player you've had a crush on for years acknowledges you on his Instagram stories after you win a gold medal at the Olympic Games, and your friends convince you to slide into his dms 👀 (female reader/pov)

Masterlist

“Oh my God!”

“What… No!”

“What are you two gasping about?” I ask my teammates. 

“You won't believe who just congratulated you for your gold medal and said that he is, and I quote, very proud of you” one of them says, showing me her phone.

“Holy shit. Is that… Is that real?”

“Very very real” she says. “Check your phone if you don't believe us.”

“He also started following me.”

“What?” they both say, moving to stand one at each side of me so we can all see my phone's screen. 

“He shared that story congratulating me, and he started following me” I say, still not believing what the little notification says. 

Ben Chilwell. Ben freaking Chilwell, Chelsea and England National Team player… Has congratulated me for my gold medal at the Olympic Games, said that he is very proud of me AND started to follow me on Instagram.

What… the fuck.

“Girl, you seriously have to slide into his dms and tell him thank you or something.”

“What?” I laugh.

“You've had a crush on him for ages and now he has discovered that you exist and knows who you are. Make your move!” my teammate says.

“I… I can't do that. What if he doesn't reply? What if his account is run by a pr person and not him and I make a fool of myself? What if…”

“What if, what if, what if” my other teammate says, rolling her eyes. “You are just texting him a thank you, not asking him to marry you… yet” she smirks.

“Idiot” I reply, giving her a little push.

“C'mon, send him a message.”

“And what do I say? Thank you for your support?”

“For example” she shrugs.

“Ok” I say, taking a deep breath and starting to type.

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Thank you very much for your support, Ben. It means a lot! ☺️

And good luck for this season, it's gonna be the one! 💙

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“Is that ok?” I ask my teammates.

“Perfect.”

“Now what?” 

“Now we just wait for his reply.”

“If he replies…” I sigh.

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“Today we finally had some time off and we left the villa to do some… Mum, I have to go.”

“What? Why?” she says over facetime. 

“Something has come up.”

“Something like what? Is it bad? You look… weird.”

“No, no. It's just a team meeting. I'll call you again after dinner, ok?”

“Ok. But…”

“Love you, mum” I say, ending the call before she can say goodbye. And why? Because an Instagram notification that just popped up on my screen, one I had lost all hope would get to see. “Ok, you can do this” I say to myself, taking a deep breath and tapping on it.

Why the hell are my hands shaking so much? Aaahhh!

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Thank you very much for your support, Ben. It means a lot! ☺️

And good luck for this season, it's gonna be the one! 💙

You're very welcome!! 💙  You seriously are amazing. My mates and I watched you perform (if that's the right word? 🫣) and you were fucking amazing 😱 Also sorry for the late reply but we just got back from the US and the jetlag has been kicking my ass 😴

Wow, thank you. You are gonna make me blush 😳

And don't worry, I've been there with the jetlag 😅

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Don't worry, don't worry, but I've been having dreams with him replying to my dm since the day I sent it. And he already is making me blush, but shh.

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Just telling the truth 🤷🏻‍♂️ Also thank you very much for the luck! We will be needing it this season. Especially me 🙈

Last season was a tough one, wasn't it?

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Of course it was, you idiot. He spent half of it injured!

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But hey, when I was 19 I injured my knee  and doctors told me there were high chances of not being able to do gymnastics again, yet look at me right now. I've won a gold medal at the Olympic Games, and I've done it against probably the best gymnast in history!

If I was able to come back, so will you. I believe in you, Ben! 💪🏻

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“I believe in you, Ben… God, I'm so lame” I say to myself.

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Thank you very much 🥺💙 I may have to hire you as my motivational coach or something 😜 How much the hour? 

Well, since you play for my team, I think I can give you a discount 

Wait, then it is true? Do you support Chelsea? I read it online but wasn't sure

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Has he… has he been googling me? What?

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Chelsea girl since the day I was born

I actually left the hospital wearing a tiny Chelsea hat and had a matching bib

No way! 😱  Is there a photo? 👀

There is 

May I see it? 😇

Ummm…

Please 🥺🥺🥺

Ok, fine

But only because it is you.

If this ends up anywhere online, I know where to find you, Chilwell 🧐

It won't leave my phone, I promise 😇🤞🏻 Also you were such a cute baby!! 😍 And still are Cute I mean Not a baby You obviously are a woman A cute woman I mean, beautiful Women are beautiful and you are a beautiful woman  Sorry 🤦🏻‍♂️

It's ok, don't worry 😅😂

Thank you ☺️

And same 😉

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Did I… Did I just kind of flirt with him? After he said I was a cute baby and that now I am a beautiful woman? Ummm… hello?

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Am I a cute baby or a beautiful woman? 🤔😜

You are a very handsome man who also happens to be very cute

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There. I said it. I just told Ben Chilwell that he is handsome and cute. Do men like being called cute? Is that a turn off? Urgh.

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Thank you 😳😳😳😳 That's my face right now, btw

What? 😂

You've made me blush 😳

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“Yeah, sure” I snort.

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Photo or didn't happen 

I look like shit right now You don't want to see that

I disagree 🤷🏼‍♀️ 

Fine 🙄 

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“Looking like shit, he says… You look bloody gorgeous, Benjamin” I say, zooming on the pic. How can someone be this handsome and look this good on a random selfie? It isn't fair. 

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That's not looking like shit

Like shit is how I look after training for more than 12 hours 

And I can't see you blushing with the beard

Should I shave it?

You won't dare!

Team beard? 😂

Team beard forever 💙

Interesting 🤔 Most girls don't like it They say it bothers them when I kiss them

Those girls know nothing 🙄

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I mean, if a guy like him is kissing you, who cares if it feels a bit itchy? Also, have they seen his lips? Like, urgh.

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I promise you I will keep my beard for the day we meet 😇 Which length do you prefer?

The one you always have the day before you shave

I hate it when you do that

It gets good and pum

Gone

Also, are we meeting? Since when? 🤨

Sorry 🙈 And I was thinking that maybe I could have a chat with the team and see if I can invite you to pay us a visit at Cobham  Since you are a Chelsea fan since the day you were born, I think it would be cool A little homage after winning your medal  I've never seen one in real life, you know?

Oh, so you just want to see the medal, not me

Cool

What? No, no, no I want to see you And the medal Both things But mostly you The medal is cool but…  God, I'm rambling again, am I not?🤦🏻‍♂️

A bit, yeah😅

But it's ok, don't worry 

Thank you 💙 I do it all the time when I get nervous 🙈

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He is feeling nervous? Him? Benjamin James Chilwell? What? And most importantly, why?

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So, should I ask the team if they are up to it? Would you like to come to Cobham and have a tour?

Would you be my tour guide?

It'll be my honour Unless you have a favourite player and want him to do it instead 

He just said it would be an honour to do it 🤷🏼‍♀️

Am I your favourite player? 😏

No

Try to fix it now 😜 Anyway, I'll keep you updated, ok? 

Ok

😘😘 (Imagine they have a beard 🧔🏻)

😂😂🥰

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“Wow” I say, putting my phone down. “Just… wow.”

I just had a proper chat with Ben Chilwell. With the guy I've had a crush on since he played for Leicester. And we've flirted. Like, he called me beautiful. And he said he wanted to meet me. To see me in person. Me. 

And I didn't freak out. I mean, I did, but it didn't show. I think. It is easier to not do it through texts, but just look at him and his rambling. Who thought he would be like this when he usually looks so confident and sure of himself? When he definitely has a lot more experience on this than I do? And that photo he sent me? Dear lord. He is handsome. He's stupidly handsome. Gorgeous. He…

“I have to show the girls” I blurt out while grabbing my phone, quickly getting up from my bed and leaving my room.

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Ok, I have good news and bad news Which ones do you want first?

Bad 🫣

The Cobham visit isn't possible 😞 There are some things going on and… yeah 🫤

Shame 😞

The good news are really good news, tho Are you ready? 😏

Ready

Ok… How would you feel…  About…

Are you always this slow? 🙄

Just with good things that are worth going slow for 😏

Ben, you are making me nervous! 😩

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Because telling him that what he's actually doing is kind of turning me on just by thinking about what things he does that are worth going slow for, may be a bit too much, right?

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I'm sorry, I'm sorry So… How would you feel… About…

BENJAMIN!!

Ok, ok 😂 How would you feel about a guest appearance during our first game of the season at Stamford Bridge?  We are playing against Manchester City, it's gonna be a big one Hey Are you still there? Hello? Oh my God, I killed her Her heart couldn't take the news 💔 Jokes aside, are you ok? Why aren't you replying? Should I call someone? Did something happen?

Hi, sorry 

There you are 😮‍💨 What happened? Are you ok?

Yeah, yeah

I was just… processing 

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And maybe jumping on my bed after reading his message. 

Me being a guest appearance at Stamford Bridge? And during a Chelsea- Manchester City? That's… that's… I have no words to describe it.

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And what's the outcome of all that processing? 😅

Yes

Yes what? 🤨🤔

Yes, I want to go to the game and do a guest appearance and yes

Yes yes yes YES!!!!!

Ok, I think now I got it May need another yes, tho 😂

🙄

😜😜 Anyway  The team said they will give you a shirt with your name and then you'll take some photos, show the medal to everyone, do that first kick, maybe give a little interview for the team's social media… The usual And you are gonna be attending as my very special guest and will be sitting in my box 😏

Wait

With your family and friends?

Yeah Unless that makes you uncomfortable and you prefer to sit somewhere else I should have probably asked you before telling the team, shouldn't I? Urgh, I'm so stupid 🤦🏻‍♂️

No, no 

That's ok

Though one question…

Sure 

Am I allowed to take someone with me as a plus one? 

I would like for my dad to be there with me, he's the one who made me a Chelsea girl 🥹

Of course!  I'll discuss it with the team, but I don't think there will be any problem  Though I don't know how my plan for after the game would work if you have your dad there with you 🤔

Your plan? What plan? 🤨

I was planning on taking you out for dinner 🫣

You and I?

Yeah You and I A date 

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A date. A fucking date. I… asdfghjklñ.

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I'll think of something, don't worry 

Is that a yes to having dinner with me, then? 😏

It is, yes

Cool ☺️ Looking forward to it 😘🧔🏻 

Same 🥰

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“Bloody… hell” I whisper, putting down my phone after sending that last text.

I just said yes to going on a date with Ben Chilwell. And I'm gonna be a guest appearance at Stamford Bridge for the first game of the season. And my dad is gonna be there to watch it all. And after I'm going on a date with Ben Chilwell.

Bloody hell, indeed.

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“I can't believe we are here. Like… woah” my dad chuckles.

“Yeah…” I say.

We are at Stamford Bridge, and not in the stands like so many times before. We are in the tunnel waiting until they call me to go on the pitch, show my medal and kick that ball, hopefully not embarrassing myself in front of everyone and, of course, in front of Ben.

Right now he is chatting with the referee, stretching and laughing about something. And he hasn't shaved or touched his hair. 

He sent me a photo last night asking me if I liked how his beard looked, and I obviously told him that he looked perfect (which isn't too difficult) and that he should also keep his hair like that if it didn't bother him while playing. So there he is now, with his beard and his curls free of that bloody hair gel, looking gorgeous. 

“Miss? It's time” the Chelsea staff member who has accompanied us since we arrived says.

“Shit, ok. Ummm… thank you” I smile.

“You can do this, pickle” my dad says, putting his hands on my shoulders. “I mean, you've won a gold medal in front of the whole world, haven't you? This is nothing compared to that.”

“Or everything” I sigh.

“You can do this” he repeats, giving my shoulders an encouraging squeeze.

“Miss?”

“Yes, sorry. I can do this” I say, taking a deep breath and giving my dad a quick kiss on the cheek before following the staff member, the whole stadium cheering as the speaker announces my name.

Maybe I can't do this. Maybe I should go back inside, say I'm not feeling well. Maybe I… But then I see him. Ben.

He's standing in the middle of the pitch with the referee and Rúben Dias, Manchester City's captain today. Usually I would also give him a good look because… well. I have eyes and he is, you know. But right now those eyes can only focus on the person wearing the darker shade of blue, the one with a smile that makes my knees feel like jelly but that at the same time is what is making me walk and do what I'm supposed to. Like waving at the crowd and all that.

“Congratulations, miss” the referee says, shaking my hand. He is the bald one who looks like Iniesta according to my dad, can't remember his name.

“Thank you” I reply.

“Congratulations” Rúben Dias says next, also shaking my hand. 

“Thank you” I say, somehow managing to smile. And then…

“Congratulations… again” Ben chuckles, giving me a hug. “You look beautiful, by the way. Chelsea blue suits you” he whispers.

“Thank you” I mutter, my cheeks on fire when he moves and winks at me. 

Now this is the confident Ben Chilwell I'm used to, not he guy who starts rambling because he gets nervous while texting, which is something that still haven't been able to stop thinking about.

“Can you pose for some photos, please?” someone says behind me.

“Yes, of course” Ben says, his arm suddenly around my waist, moving me to stand between him and the referee.

“Big smiles…” the photographer says.

But I'm not able to focus my attention on him. I can only think about Ben's arm, about the way his thumb is moving on my back, kind of caressing it and trying to make me… I don't know, relax? But how can I relax when he is doing that? 

And then, when the referee moves so I am standing between him and Dias… Wow. I'm pretty sure there are many people out there who are wishing they were me right now. Though once again, I can only focus on Ben's arm, on how he has pulled me closer to him as if… Nah. It can't be. He can't be doing that because he is jealous of Dias, is he? He…

“Ok, we are done. Thank you” the photographer says, bringing me back to the real world.

“Time for that first kick” Ben says, definitely taking his time to move his arm from around my body. 

“When you are ready, miss” the referee says, putting the ball in front of me.

“Which way do I go?” I ask him.

“That way, towards the other Chelsea players.”

“You can do this, c'mon” Ben says with an encouraging smile. 

“Ok” I say, taking a deep breath and…

“That's it, well done!” he laughs, one of his teammates stopping the ball, the whole stadium cheering. 

“This way, miss” the staff member from earlier says.

“Yes, ummm… Nice to meet you” I say, giving a shy wave towards Dias and the referee, who reply with little nods. “Chilwell.”

“See you later” he winks. Again. How have I not tripped with my own feet after seeing that will remain a mystery.

“That was amazing, pickle!” my dad says when I join him on the tunnel.

“I just kicked a ball, dad.”

“Isn't that what they all do?” he laughs. “Anyway, let's go find our seats. I don't want to miss anything, and knowing that Haaland guy, he is able to score two goals in five minutes. Again.”

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“And… yeah. It was a good game. Still a lot of work to do, but it's just the first of the season.”

“Will we be seeing you again at Stamford Bridge?”

“My dad comes to all home games and some away ones, so I hope so” I smile.

“Looking forward to seeing you. And… we are done. Thank you very much for being so patient” the interviewer says. “You must be tired of giving interviews.”

“For my beloved Chelsea I have all the time in the world” I chuckle. “Thank you for having me.”

“Well done, pickle” my dad smiles when I join him.

“Dad, can you please stop calling me that in front of strangers?” I say, looking around. 

“Why? It is your nickname.”

“Yeah, but… it's something for family only.”

“Chelsea are our family” he says. “And speaking of that, I should probably get going if I want to make it home for dinner with your mum. Where are you meeting with the girls?”

“At the restaurant. I already have a car ready to come pick me up.”

That had been the excuse I had come up with to stay for a bit longer at Stamford Bridge before meeting with Ben for our date. Our date. I still can't believe I am going on a date with Ben fucking…

“Chilwell!” my dad suddenly says.

“What?” I say, turning around.

“Hello” Ben says with his best smile as he walks towards us. 

“Look, pickle. It's Ben Chilwell!”

“I know, dad” I say, feeling my face on fire. 

“She's a big fan of yours, you know? She even has a poster of you in her room.”

“Dad!” I gasp.

“What? It's the truth, isn't it?” he shrugs. “You look better in the picture she has, tho. What is with all that?” he says, touching his face.

“My beard?” Ben says, running a hand through it and making me want to do the same, something that doesn't help with the current temperature of my face.

“Yeah. You are in need of a shave, son.”

“We'll see” he smiles. “Did you enjoy the game? Was everything ok with your seats?”

“It was perfect” my dad says, not allowing me to talk. “We actually sat next to your mum and your sister!”

“Did you?” Ben says, acting as if he was surprised. Because my dad thinks it was Chelsea's idea to invite us here tonight, not just Ben's. How do I explain to him that I had slid into his dms and that he had suggested it after some flirting?

“We did. You have a lovely family.”

“Thank you” Ben smiles. “Anyway, I came here hoping to catch you and get a pic just the two of us, maybe see that medal up close?” he says, looking my way.

“Oh, yes. Of course” I say, finally being able to be part of the conversation.

“Cool. Rob, hey!” he says, calling for the photographer who had been with us the whole day. “Would you mind taking some photos of us together? Maybe some with my phone too?”

“Of course” the photographer says.

And while we get ready for those photos, guess what happens again?Yes, Ben puts his arm around my waist, that thumb back to its previous shenanigans and to sending waves of heat all over my body.

“May I get one too?” my dad says when we are almost done.

“It'll be my pleasure” Ben says with his best smile while I just pray for this torture to end soon. And with torture I'm not only talking about having Ben that close and everything he is making me feel. I'm also talking about my dad saying things he shouldn't and embarrassing me in front of him.

“Are we done now?” I ask.

“Why such a hurry?” my dad chuckles. “You aren't meeting with the girls until later, are you?” 

“I'm not, no. But Ben probably has plans with his friends and family, and I don't want you getting home too late. Especially when mum is waiting and you are carrying this” I say, taking off my medal.

“Wait… Can I… Ummm… Can I touch it?” Ben asks me.

“Oh, yes, sure.”

“Thank you” he says, smiling like a little kid on Christmas morning. He looks so happy. “This is amazing, isn't it? So cool. Wow.”

“You've already won some of those yourself, son” my dad chuckles.

“I have. But none of those are as big as an Olympic gold medal. I mean, the Champions League is quite big, don't get me wrong. But this one is just…” he says, inspecting the medal as if it was the most wonderful thing he had ever seen, somehow making me… emotional? What? “Thank you very much for letting me hold it. It means a lot” he says, giving it back to me.

“Don't you want a photo with it too?” my dad asks him.

“There is no need. But thank you, sir.”

“Well, then I better get going. May I?”

“Uh?” I say, being brought back into the real world once again after my dad stops whatever was going on between me and Ben after he had handed me back my medal and our fingers had touched, our eyes getting locked on each other's. 

“The medal, pickle” he chuckles.

“Oh, yes, sure. Sorry.”

“Chilwell, will you keep an eye on my girl until she has to go? I know she is in good hands with you, our vice captain! Or captain like happened tonight.”

“I will, don't worry” Ben says, giving my dad his best smile. If only he knew…

“Great. Don't forget to text us, ok?” he says, kissing my cheek.

“I won't. Love you, dad.”

“Love you too” he says before waving goodbye, walking down the tunnel and already in deep conversation with the staff member who has helped us throughout the day.

“You have a really nice dad… pickle” Ben smirks.

“Oh my God” I say, covering my face with my hands. “I can't believe you heard that.”

“Why? It's cute.”

“It isn't. It's embarrassing.”

“It's cute” he says, his hands suddenly on mine, moving them from my face and making me look at him. “Hi” he smiles.

“Hi” I whisper. 

“Did you really enjoy today?” 

“Yeah” I nod. 

“Do you want a tour of the stadium?”

“Now?”

“Now. Perks of being Chelsea's vice captain, or captain tonight like your dad said” he says.

“I… umm…”

“C'mon, say yes… pickle” Ben says with a teasing smile.

“I swear to God, Chilwell. If you call me that again, I'm leaving.”

“What? No, no, no, no. I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry" he apologizes, the way he is looking at me making my heart sink. "I won't say it again, I promise.”

“Thank you. And I'm sorry if that came out too… harsh. Too many emotions today.”

“I get it, don't worry. And again, I'm sorry” he says, that thumb back to caressing me. Though this time you could say it is even worse, because there is no fabric between it and my skin since he still has his hands on mine.

“Yeah, ummm… I think we should start with that tour before they close the stadium with us inside.”

“We should, yes” he says, his smile coming back and making my heart skip a beat. “Let's go” he says, letting go of one of my hands but still holding the other, interlacing our fingers except for one. That one. 

Because as he walks me down the tunnel and starts telling me all the details about the stadium, that thumb is constantly moving over my skin. And even though at first I feel like it is burning where he is touching me, after a while I stop noticing it and it feels like what I guess he was looking for since the beginning. Like something natural, something comforting. Something even… intimate, just between him and I.

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“Ben?”

“Yeah?” he says, turning to look at me as I stop walking.

“Why are we back in the tunnel?” 

“The… Oh, yes… Umm…” he says, running his free hand through his hair. Because yes, you guessed it. The other still is holding mine. 

He didn't let go of me as he showed me around the stadium and told me anecdotes about the building that I didn't know about or about things that had happened to the team since he joined them, all while sharing little moments that go from shy smiles to loud laughs that would have definitely made people give us a weird look if we hadn't been alone, and everything in between. At times he even started rambling like when we were texting, the cheekiness and confidence disappearing and his nerves taking over him like it is happening right now.

“I have a surprise for you.”

“What?”

“Come” he says, giving my hand a little squeeze and starting to go up the stairs that lead to the pitch.

Most of the lights have been turned off and only a couple are still on, lightning one spot in the grass. One where there is something that looks like… 

“Ben, is that… Is that what I think it is?” I ask him, stopping as we set foot on the pitch.

“If you are thinking about a picnic, it is, yes” he smiles before moving to stand behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder. “My original idea was to go to a nice restaurant, but then I thought that if we didn't want to have to worry about someone recognising us and going to the press, we would have to go to one of the most exclusive ones and I wanted something more chilled for our first date. So I started thinking about different options, checked Instagram for some inspo, and came up with this.”

“Ben, I… I… I don't know what to say. I…” I mumble.

“Do you like it?”

“I do” I say, moving in his arms to face him, not expecting to end up being so close to him. To have my chest against his as I rest my hands on his arms (or his biceps to be more precise), our noses almost touching. We are so close, that I can see his freckles perfectly. So close, that just by moving a tiny bit I could kiss him if I had the guts to do it. “I love it, Ben.”

“Thank God” he says, letting out a big sigh and making us both laugh. “In case my rambling hadn't given it away, I was so nervous about this... About you not liking it... I thought that maybe it was too much, but since you have been a Chelsea girl literally since the day you were born… I don't know” he shrugs.

“It's perfect, so no need to be nervous anymore” I smile.

"Easier said than done" he chuckles.

"Uh?"

"In case you haven't noticed, you make me nervous" he says, caressing my cheek. "But in a good way."

"I... umm..." I mumble, feeling my whole face on fire. "Is this picnic the reason why you texted me the other day asking me what kind of food I Iike?” I asking, trying to change the topic of conversation.

“Yep” he says. “Who knew I wasn't the only person in this country who hadn't had Chinese yet.”

“I honestly don't understand why people made such a fuss about it” I shrug.

“Well, you are about to find out” Ben says, taking my hand again and leading me towards our little picnic set. 

“Is that… Is that a Chelsea blanket?” I laugh.

“And a Chelsea picnic basket and cutlery. Look” he says, opening it. “I had no idea they sold such random things in the gift shop” he laughs.

“Oh, this is nothing compared to what other teams sell.”

“Like?”

“I've seen a West Ham garter.”

“What?” he laughs again.

“Yeah” I shrug. “Anyway, should we sit down? Something smells really good and I can't wait to find out what it is.”

“Of course. My lady” Ben smiles, helping me sit down and making me giggle.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Don't tell your friends, but I still don't understand why the fuss about Chinese food.”

“Says the person currently licking her fingers after not leaving anything on her plate” Ben laughs.

“I was hungry” I shrug.

“Sure.”

“I was” I insist.

“And I said sure” he says with a teasing smile. “Are you still hungry for some dessert, tho?”

“Always.”

“Then get ready for the best tiramisu you've ever tasted.”

“Tiramisu after Chinese food?” I chuckle.

“Why not? And this is homemade.”

“Made by who? You?” I tease him.

“Nope. My mum.”

“Your mum made us tiramisu?"

"She made me tiramusi. She has no idea we are here together right now. Like your dad, she also thinks I am having dinner with my mates" he smiles. "And here” Ben says, offering me a spoon full of tiramisu. “Open your mouth.”

“What?”

“C'mon” he says, trying really hard to not smirk. “You are gonna love it, you'll see.”

“Ok” I say, leaning forward and doing as he says. 

“And?”

“Of my gof!”

“What?” he laughs.

“Oh my God, Ben. This is amazing!” I say again once I've managed to swallow.

“Told you” he says with a cheeky smile. “But you…” 

“Uh?”

“You have something… Let me...” he says, moving on the blanket even closer than we already are, one hand holding my face by my chin while the thumb of the other (yes, that thumb) moves over my lower lip, making me gasp. “There, perfect” he smiles.

“Thank you” I manage to say, none of us moving a single centimetre, his hand still on my face. It's like the world has stopped, like it is just me and him. And then…

“May I kiss you?” he whispers.

“Please” I whisper back before it finally happens. No more imagining how it is to feel those glorious lips of his on mine. Now it is actually happening, and it is… it is… Wow. Just wow. “Did it tickle you?”

“Uh?”

“My beard. Did it tickle you like all those girls have said?” Ben says against my lips.

“I already told you that those girls know nothing, Benjamin. But…” I say, finally making my dream of touching his beard a reality.

“But?” he asks.

“I think we should keep kissing to be sure they just talk bullshit.”

“Ok” he laughs. "May I kiss you again, then?"

"You may" I smile before he kisses me again, proving that, indeed, those girls know nothing. 

[rwrbficrecs]

WIP Wednesday

All The Fics Lead Back To You by @itsmaybitheway (book-verse)

@zwiazdziarka: Alex (who is of course 100% straight) reads AO3 fics about him and Henry so this fic is really a double treat - we get both Alex going crazy about fanfics AND the fics he reads. Dissonance between fic versions of Alex and Alex who's reading them is everything and so is Alex's mental acrobatics to explain why he reads all that and why he has so many feelings about it.

Tinder Mercies (series) by @absoluteaudacitywrites (book-verse)

@na-dineee: Pez convinces Henry to sign up for Tinder and – jackpot! From Alex's first DM onwards, the two of them are totally gone for each other - and as a reader, you follow along step by step. Henry and Alex are two completely normal people in their mid-thirties, but there are also many canon-typical similarities and parallels, and canon-typical problems are also discussed. Part 1 (Ignite my heart) is completed, part 2 (Burning love) is a WiP.

False Dichotomy by @cha-melodius (book-verse)

@heybuddy-drabbles: It's the You've Got Mail we've all been waiting for!! I've waited for this for so long and it's finally here and it doesn't disappoint. Come along for the ride. Split POV which will be SO fun in the future! And, of course, tons of emails!

light the lamp by @kill8a (book-verse)

@na-dineee: Set in New York, where Alex studies and is a successful ice hockey player in the college team and due to an injury, he meets nurse Henry in the doctor's office. At first sight, Alex is so blown away, he could die ... The story is told very gently and calmly, but also, a lot of canon-typical problems are addressed. Wholesome!

the killing kind by @saintlynomenclature (book-verse)

@na-dineee: Alex is the most famous rock star in the world, Henry a successful actor. After a whirlwind of an destructive relationship, there was (more or less) radio silence for a while, until now... This is a completely different approach to our favourite love story: fatal attraction, closedness, repression, heavy fighting, unhealthy coping mechanisms - Alex and Henry have a lot to unpack here! Not told linearly.

[hollow-lime-green]

Can you tell us a little about your D&D stuff? -sincerely an avid dnd player who loves hearing about other people’s characters

aaaa sure!

briefly - when I do actually get to be a player, I fucking love playing rogues. god i am so basic and easy, catch me playing a tiefling/changeling rogue 100% of the time. i am a power gamer though, and i'll take a lot of feats to do all sorts of weird bullshit (and the 2024 thief buffs are going to make me insufferable. fast hands has always been my favorite ability in the game, and now thief is finally good for real and not just by dm fiat).

i like every class except artificer and monk (fine just not for me), but rogues have my heart. in every game, skyrim to borderlands to d&d, I like being a pain in the ass from a long distance away. i don't get to play a lot, so i don't have a lot of characters that i'm super tied to, but right now, i'm essentially playing a cabal of tiefling/changeling rogues (one for every subclass) that are running the underground of my friend's city in a westmarch style progressive series of oneshots he hosts at our local game store.

mainly, though, i have always been a perma-dm of my groups, although I am trying to find a group that rotates better because as it turns out, being a perma-dm can absolutely fuck with your interpersonal relationships. i had a really awesome d&d group in undergrad that I DM'd for, and I have a lot of great memories from that. we played on campus for the first two years, then on roll20 for a few more years after that. unfortunately, as most d&d groups do, we died to the BBEG known as Adult Life Schedules.

since then, I've been DMing semi-regularly at a local game shop, sometimes playing, and I've made a lot of in-person friends. we play both at and outside of the shop, but almost all one-shots, although when I eventually move away from this current location, I will probably try to drag them into an online campaign. lots of dm talk and pictures under the cut, since this will be kind of long. :)

Props!

as a dm, i am very prop focused, i love a good prop. it's the engineer girlie in me. sat night I ran a 12th level one shot for my friends to test out some of the new 2024 rules at high level, and what I'm most proud of was my hidden magnet bridge (see below) - this is a progress pic but I do generally keep my sets pretty minimal aesthetically. anyway this was super fun because i set it up as this precarious bridge that they needed to get across and do some puzzles (hence the set), and then i ambushed them with the hidden magnets (actual reason for the set).

this is one of my faves from maaaaany years ago. i could do it better if I tried it again, but it's tough. this was for an encounter where an enemy was locally changing the direction of gravity, so the set rotated. it was surprisingly stable but difficult to play on due to the fact that you have like 270 degrees of the table that can see and then whoever is behind the wall (the dm) can't see shit. this was during my in-person UG years, so baby engineer but still making it work.

this is something I've done more recently that is more minimalist but insanely effective as a minigame. i had some players navigating through a space field, so they had to plot a course through this minefield and peel off the tape stickers one by one to see if they hit a danger. again, left is a progress pic. they all got blacked out. the right one was actually my dm key during the session lol, so I knew what they were gonna hit before they hit it.

I do a lot of mini prop pieces to go on top of my battle map as terrain, mostly cardboard just to give height and make things a bit more dynamic. and i'll usually have some lair action that rotates or takes away some of that terrain. one other thing I'm playing around with is this plexiglass transparent overlay designed for water combat, so I can put biiiiiig bad guys underneath the party. that one is for a oneshot based on the game DREDGE (which I highly recommend by the way - fishing survival cozygame with an eldritch monstrous flair). this lighthouse works as a sanity indicator, so as the party loses sanity (due to the eldritch fish), I can change its color.

i have no idea how i've run this game like 7 times and yet I can't find any pictures of it, but I have a one-shot that is based on Potion Permit (another farming sim cozygame) where the players collect these tiny cardboard tetris pieces and have to use them to complete tetris piece recipes to make potion and Save The Town From Illness! players love a prop, players love a minigame, and i love running those things as well.

Characters!

I have a lot of DMPCs that I love from my long campaigns, but DMPCs can be irritating, so i have shifted away from character-driven things for my oneshots. when I go back to doing campaigns, I'm going to try to do them better? I don't know, getting people invested in OCs whether it's writing or ttrpg is always sort of a challenge. players get invested in the bonds between the party but not often in their actual NPCs. So I'm not going to yap about them too much, but I'll list the concepts of my fave DMPCs:

blind bard who sees through a force field cantrip like cat whiskers - later becomes a seer (like divination) at the cost of losing his blindsight due to Player-Caused Apocalypse. becomes an unwilling consort to an archdevil who rules the wastelands after Player-Caused Apocalypse.

red hag who used a wish spell to free herself of pacts of loyalty but as a consequence cannot form lasting relationships with any creature, and cannot wish again. trying to make a Deck of Many Things to get more wishes and fix this (doomed)

half-fey archer with the mantle of the summer court trying to avenge her parents killed by the winter court, warrior softened by the touch of a woman (autumn fey cottagecore mom friend with an aussie accent). they were fun because the party actually got really invested in them and they got to complete their love story :)

spellthief rogue champion of the gods caught in a messy 'the parents are fighting' situation where the aspects of law and chaos fight. she is going to make a return when i start my next campaign because it's going to be a time loop situation, and she'll be the one resetting the timeline and trying to make off-screen changes (killing monarchs, planting magic items) to affect the future.

[utilitycaster]

Stuck my I Voted sticker on my stress ball due to the joys of living in a swing state.

Valinari Ziegler (or Nari for short) was a character I played in an Exandria campaign that unfortunately died a few years ago due to scheduling issues. He was a half-elf Shadow Sorcerer who eventually multiclassed into Rogue (when the campaign died he was 6 Sorc/2 Rogue, I probably would have gone either Swashbuckler or Mastermind if I'd gotten to level him up).

When I created him, I had two thoughts in mind: I wanted to do something fun with the Shadow Sorcerer ability that allows them to possibly stabilize at 1 HP when they would otherwise drop to 0, and I wanted to create a character with a vested interest in being in an adventuring party (because I've noticed that a lot of the time people struggle to come up with a reason their characters all want to be in a group). I ended up landing on the idea that he was a former member of the Deastok Myriad who was betrayed and almost killed by another member on the orders of someone higher up (only surviving due to his sorcerous abilities kicking in), but he had no idea who or why. His goal, then, was to make powerful friends and come back to find out why he was killed and get revenge.

Once I started playing him, however, a few things I didn't anticipate happened. First, I made him in Heroforge and inadvertently made him look like the MCU version of Loki (I had already named him after the mythological Loki's children), which prompted a whole bunch of jokes from my group and ended up informing his character a good bit--I'd always planned him to be a smooth talker, but the Loki lean in characterization made me more inclined to embark on stupid plans that bit me in the ass as often as they worked out (this also meant I was the character that pushed the shiny red button more often than not, and it caused me to utter the line "Fuck it, I have poor impulse control and proficiency in CON saves", which is one of my favorite things I've ever said in D&D). Among other things, he managed to con a treasure map from a merchant by exchanging it for a piece of bent metal that he claimed to have come from the Whispered One's stronghold but actually was pilfered from a dead kobold, but he also almost got killed by a fiend that he had threatened thinking that she was imprisoned in a way that she couldn't harm him. The other thing that happened was the classic character development of him initially seeing the other party members as instruments of his revenge but coming to care about them (in particular our party's Druid was very nice to him and, in her player's words, immediately engaged Mom Friend mode upon hearing him refer to her, the person she'd traveled with for two weeks, as his oldest and dearest friend and our Monk was both interested in the way he operated and willing to call him out on his bullshit--they had a really fun dynamic).

Mechanically, Nari is one of the characters I've put the most thought into build-wise, and I had a lot of fun playing him in combat. His build was centered on the spell Shadow Blade combined with the Shadow Sorcerer ability to cast a version of the Darkness spell that only the caster can see through. Throw in sneak attack I was doing a lot of damage. The DM also gave me a magic item that allowed me to teleport in dim light and darkness 3 times a day--it was, however, identical in appearance to MCU Loki's stupid helmet.

Hey! I saw your other message, and no, i just got off Tumblr and went to bed last night for my own well-being before seeing this, no worries about word count.

I know it feels, well, kind of silly to finish up now, but I do want to thank you for voting. It's by no means the only tool we as people in the US have to express our opinion nor to enact change, but it's certainly one of the lowest effort for the highest impact and it has become bizarrely fraught on online spaces. And so silly ask memes are by far from the only thing I do around elections or in my advocacy; but they are one of them, and I hope to continue doing them for a long time.

Getting to the actual character, I think Nari sounds all around great. "Why is my character here" is perhaps the most important thing you can ask yourself in any story, whether it's D&D or original fiction, and a lot of people don't, so having a character with clear motivations available is not faint praise: it's a sign that you put care and thought in and I think the relationships your character was able to build with others in the party reflect that. I also think the Darkness + sneak attack combo is a really creative and fun multiclass - a lot of my frustration with rogues is that I love a cool assassin in fiction but D&D mechanics explicitly make being a rogue in that archetype almost impossible, and I think you reclaimed that. And I love a big red button pusher. There's hooks! Find them!

Anyway this game and Nari sounds great, and man, I kind of hope for your sake there's a way to revive it.

[curse-of-dming-strahd]

Heyy

Today, when we, cos party, discussed out of character with our dm what will we do in the final battle (that can even not happen at all), I said "it will be very sad! I might not be able to take down you both, but at least two of the three is gonna die (one being me, diyng in the process of trying to protect Strahd). So, just asking... how will you react if someone from you party will do something like that?

We are pretty chill about it all btw, because we're trying to make Strahd an ally in interdimension war and some of us (me and possibly other pc) are gonna join him anyway, but what would your reaction be?

late response but this is a GREAT question!

firstly I love that you guys are talking about the final battle out-of-character first; I will definitely be doing the same with my group when the time comes so that I can try to give everybody what they want out of a final encounter.

since the mission statement my players all agreed on for this campaign was literally "let's punch dracula in the dick", I'm going out of my way to try and make Strahd extremely easy to hate by emphasizing sexism, classism, and abuse of power as themes in the campaign, and generally leaning hard into the idea that Strahd's got some real incel energy*. so my hope is that no one will want to try and protect or defend Strahd for any reason, because otherwise I've kinda fucked up. we've also all agreed above-the-table that this isn't a game where we're going to do betrayals or secret plots because it's Baby's First D&D for most of them and our goals are more humor and teamwork than le drama.

buuut who knows, there's always a chance the campaign will go in a very unexpected direction, or maybe I'll accidentally make Strahd seem really, really cool, or maybe one of my players will discover they've got a huge boner for vampires and a drama kink and decide swapping sides and dying dramatically would be really fun for them.

and if that happens, my reaction will probably be, "okay, cool, let's talk about it together as a group to see how everyone's feeling about this" so we can work together to figure out how to give that player some of what they're looking for without accidentally upsetting or ruining the fun for my other two players. I don't think that kind of thing would be a great fit for this game, but I'm sure we could find a compromise if their heart is really in it, you know?

*Someday I will run a full-nasty CoS campaign where Strahd is cruel and complex and tragic and much harder to pin as "good" or "bad", and in that game I will actively welcome Strahd simps to come do their thing and make the campaign even messier. but that's for another game and different players, lmao.

[chickencowcow]

Can you say more about your Sep Heap world DnD campaign 👀

Yeah totally! Sorry this took me so long, you caught me right in the middle of finals season.

So like. The campaign is one that we lovingly refer to as Foryx, is DMed by my boyfriend, @thebugaboy

There are five PCs in the campaign:

Amestrias "Tris" Waelrue (she/they): an eladrin bard/warlock played by @voidthatdraws

Sivala "Sylvir" Waelrue Persipa (don't ask but like he/him but really she/her): an eladrin rogue/bloodhunter played by myself :]

Honey Locust (any): a warforged druid played by @sofilophisaurus

Hanne Borgerson (she/her?): a half-orc cleric played by @actually-rj

Myrela (they/them): a vedalken artificer, played by a friend that I don't have the Tumblr of.

Nobody plays a Heap (we used to have someone who played Simon Heap but she had to leave the campaign) but there are ties between the PC's and the Heaps, like:

Sylvir and Simon Heap were childhood best friends and they ended up dating in their teens. Their relationship ended when Sylvir ran away from home after DomDaniel temporarily stole the ExtraOrdinary Wizard position from Marcia

Tris and Jenna Heap dated in their teens and she was friends with Septimus and Beetle. Their relationship went sour after a bad argument (from what I'm told) and Septimus and Beetle ended up taking Jenna's side and ditching her.

Honey Locust has??? some type of connection to both the Heaps and the Waelrues??? And basically is protective over both the Waelrue kids and the Heap bunch.

Uhhh a BUNCH of stuff has been changed from the book canon? I haven't read the books in a while so I don't know everything accurately and im not gonna go into much detail (that's a job for my DM) but. Uhhhh. The Waelrues are the family that's been in charge of the Manuscriptorium for three? Generations now? With Tris just taking her position as Chief Hermetic Scribe the day the campaign started.

The absolute basic plot synopsis is that the whole gang and their gaggle of NPCs are going back in time to use Alchemical Fyre to destroy the Two-Faced Ring on an implied Manuscriptorium work trip, and they're also there to rescue Septimus and Jenna from the past. Sylvir and Tris have a... strange relationship. Honey Locust used to be a tree. Myrela is an alchemical apprentice who delights in eavesdropping and drama. Hanne doesn't know what the fuck is going on but is deeply deeply intruiged. Nicko, Snorri, and Simon all joined in on the quest and so did Sylvir and Tris's father, which made everything a lot more awkward.

There's a lot more to it (a LOT) but that's what I've got for rn! Tris's player draws her a lot so go check out their art and Honey Locust's player just released an AMV that looks really good but I am unfortunately banned from watching it because Spoilers. I know our DM has made art of Jenna before, as well as a few NPCs but I'm unsure how much he's posted. Anyway, thanks for the ask! :]

[theladyragnell]

i have my first ever dnd session next week and i’m. nervous-excited! any tips?

Oh, wonderful! I was about to demur and say I'm not an expert and take everything with a grain of salt, and then remembered I've been playing a game most weeks for most of the past decade and played two 1-20 campaigns and am now DMing another. So I guess maybe I do have some right to give advice?

Engage! Truly, this is the biggest piece of advice I can give you. You and your table are telling a story together, and it's a better story the more engaged people are. Be the kind of character who picks up plot threads the DM leaves dangling and chats with NPCs, be the kind of character who asks their party members about themselves, even if your charisma score isn't high. It doesn't take improv skills unless you're playing at a table that's recording a podcast or something, just a willingness to be curious, and it makes a huge difference.

Communicate. With your DM especially, but with your fellow players too. Let them know you're feeling nervous and might be a little shy but that you want to engage! If someone tries to engage you in roleplay, go for it and don't worry if you feel a little silly doing it. If you aren't having fun with an aspect of your character ("whoops, I should have taken a different rogue subclass") or the game ("heyyy, I didn't realize that killing wolves and elk would bother me so much, is there a plan to fight more magical monsters I'll feel less guilty about in the future?"), chat with your DM before it gets to be a bigger problem. And hopefully your table has chatted about triggers and systems to make sure you're all safe around that, a lot of tables do these days, but don't be shy about your needs.

Try to go with the tone presented! Hopefully your DM has told you what kind of game you're in, but a lot of table frictions can come when one player is playing Smeef Smeekle, jolly halfling weed dealer whose goal is to get into as much trouble as possible, and everyone else is playing A Team Of Heroes. Or, for that matter, when one person is playing Bluhdborne Pahth'ojenn, world's angstiest rogue, and everyone else is a fantasy k(obold)-pop band that fell into a dungeon (though comedy games do love a straight man, so that's mostly not fun for Bluhdborne).

Give kudos! When the DM or another player does something cool or creative, improvs a line that gives you chills, anything like that, let them know it! Either in the moment quickly, or after the session in some way. It can be a bit of an emotionally intense hobby, and it's nice to check in with your fellow players and tell them how awesome they are.

And last, some Common D&D Good Manners Things: in combat, have some idea of what your action is going to be before your turn comes around (some players make flowcharts, which I have never tried but might be your jam). Know your abilities as much as is realistic, and have descriptions of abilities and spells close to hand so your DM can ask you instead of looking them up. Take notes if you're playing longer than a one-shot, even if it's only a few words, both to keep yourself engaged and to give yourself the assist later when you need to remember whether this shopkeeper likes you or hates you.

Okay, that got very wordy! But really, just jump into the story, communicate with your table, and come at it with curiosity and collaboration, and it's hard to go wrong if your table is on the same page as you.

Enjoy!

[philcoulsonismyhero]

Man, I'd missed DnD. My flatmate got a group together and we had our fourth session tonight and it feels like we're really properly getting into the swing of it and it's So much fun.

My character, Benjamin Larkwright, is a war wizard who was a magically-trained soldier as a young man and then a watchman for about a decade before quitting to take up his magic again and become an adventurer, and playing a mystery adventure as an ex-cop who keeps forgetting about his magic and solving problems like a detective is Really fun. I'm getting to mess around with all the crime drama tropes that I love while Also being a wizard, it's Great.

A couple of stand-out moments from this last session included getting to do the Hot Fuzz fence jumping thing, where the loxodon paladin just walked through the garden wall and Benjamin, on principle, vaulted a bit of still-intact wall aaand managed to roll an 8, land badly on his bad ankle and nearly faceplant in the street. The other wizard who, despite being a nerd and unathletic, is also 17 and limber managed to get over the wall with no trouble and got waved off from helping him up with a cranky "I've got a bad ankle, it's fine, I'm old, leave me alone." (He's like 45ish.)

We'd also earlier been to talk to the local sheriff about the epidemic of missing people we'd been hired to investigate (by his sister, it turned out, who thought he wasn't doing enough about it), and I got to play Benjamin going from marching in all judgemental and dragging this guy's curtains open in the face of his dreadful hangover and pointedly shifting the bottles off his desk to put down the list of missings we got from his sister, to leaving with a gentle word about hangover cures and all his missing person files and a promise to deal with whatever hold the villain has over him that he couldn't tell us about but had clearly caused an extended breakdown and is preventing him from investigating properly himself. (Kidnapped wife and son, we later worked out, who are among the people going missing around this Highly Suspicious Casino that appeared in town six months ago.)

The best moment, though was when I finally got to catch the other wizard out on the gems she stole from a bag in the mail car when we were searching the train to the town for Weird Shit. She'd managed to do it while the rest of the party were all out on the platform tidying up the mess from our fight with a gargoyle that had also been sent in the post via the train, so none of us had any reason to even suspect she'd nicked them. But then we were investigating a weird magical effect outside the temple we were in, and Abigail goes and pulls out these gems right in front of Benjamin's nose to see if they react to the magical field. He recognises them from before, asks her where she got them from, and she lies to his face that they were something she inherited from his wizard grandfather. So, two sessions after the theft, I finally get to insight check her, with my +5 insight vs her +0 deception, and I roll a 21. Which, upon realising that there's nothing she can roll to beat that, causes me, out of character, delighted, to exclaim "ha! Get insighted, crime child!"

Which was apparently the highlight of the session to the DM and everyone else and got me an inspiration as the culmination of a bunch of good ex-policeman roleplaying, which was delightful. (Got a good grade in DnD, which is both normal to want and possible to achieve.) The player of the other wizard now desperately wants me to draw a very pleased-with-himself Benjamin looming over a cowering Abigail pointing and exclaiming "Get insighted, Crime Child!", he was that amused by it, and honestly I might later when I'm less busy.

In-universe, Benjamin just gave her The Look, though, and said "alright, I'll believe you", with them both knowing Full Well that he doesn't. It was then followed up by him dashing (so Detect Magic didn't run out) over to the temple down the street to check if the magic field effect was also unable to penetrate the inside of that temple, and passing Abigail who tried to follow him on the way back, much slower on her "weak nerd legs" and pestering her into jogging the whole way back again while Benjamin made it very clear without outright saying that the jogging was her penance for the petty crime. (He's not a watchman anymore and he's not her dad so he's just going to mess with the kid in the hope that it makes her think twice the next time she gets the urge to be sticky-fingered with potentially dangerous magical items. And also for his own amusement, tbh.)

It was all very funny, I'm having a great time being the (metaphorical, he's aroace) straight guy to the rest of the party's hijinks and also occasionally indulging in my own. We ended the session thoroughly convinced that all roads lead to the Suspect Casino, having tugged on every investigative thread to Benjamin's satisfaction (and everyone else's), and he snapped his suspiciously-police-looking notebook shut and said "On that, Droozh, we are in complete agreement." to the loxodon paladin's declaration that he thinks now is Definitely the time to march into the casino and demand to know what the hell is going on. And yes, Droozh has wanted to do that since we arrived in town and the place seemed a bit sus from the whole 'got sent a gargoyle in the post' thing, but now we can march in and start cracking skulls in an Informed and Well Considered manner, having a better idea of what we're up against.

I love DnD, I've missed it.

[glitterfiasco]

i found this ramble in my drafts from february and it makes some reference to dated news but I wanna post it anyway bc nothing has changed about the issue itself

it really baffles me how dndbeyond does cosmetics.

there's a whole host of currently existing options - varying theme colours, pretty artwork to make your background, cool frames for your character profile! i play with all of these on my character sheets, and they're funky, really help you personalise your sheets and connect them to your characters!!

the main problem? the *only* way you can get a majority of the cosmetics is through pre-ordering books. now, pre-order bonuses are a good marketing strategy, sure, and with pre-order bonuses comes the nececcity for those bonuses to be exclusive. but when those cosmetics are a big majority of those that exist? you have a problem.

on a whole, of course i dislike the overall sentiment behind Cynthia Williams' notion that dnd is 'under monetized' - and the whole money-hungry mess that things have seemed with wotc lately. yet, i think in this specific matter i actually agree that it's a shame players don't have many options to spend money on the game. but...maybe let's give them some reasonable ones?

i am a DM, and have, as per Williams' observations, probably spent more on the game than the average non-DM. wotc can care about that discrepancy, but i really dont. what i do care about is that i am also a player and i *want* to be able to also spend on player things - like making my sheets look cool! and i actively cannot! in fact, the cosmetics i do own are primarily from pre-ordered books (some kindly gifted!) that i had interest in because i was a DM! it's not worth as a player it to pre-order a book you won't use for only the pre-order bonuses, and though a DM can awkwardly share those bonuses with their players, currently the only primary way players can get cosmetics is the few unpredictable monthly reward of a subscription. and we'll get back to those.

another downside to the pre-order bonus model? how fucking specific those cosmetics are - and i move to focus primarily on the frames here. they're of course themed to the books, but so often in a way that makes me wonder how few characters these would really fit the sheets of.

here are some frames from the Tasha's and Ravenlost pre-orders. the art is nice enough but...who wants these? i dont want these.

to get back to the subscriber frames, one might expect these to offer the more universal range of options. there are a couple nice vague frames, but the very few options are, once again, largely very specific, as season-themed frames. the subscriber frames include such all-applicable options as these.

you'll also notice a trend of heavily obscuring the character portrait itself (most obvious with my first two examples, and i promise there are other similar instances). overall it's just...frustrating that it's so difficult to find a frame that actually fits a character, nor obscures them beyond readability.

for so long, I've been baffled at the lack of a cosmetics shop where one can buy generic and specific frames for pocket change. It seems so obvious, and hardly outside dndbeyond's current setup. give me leafy frames for naturey characters, music note frames for musicians! frames themed after signature spells - magic missile, mage hand, crown of stars. frames designed after the types of damage, after different subclasses, after different weapons! frames with varying levels of complexity - both simple designs that can just match a character's colour scheme, and detailed animated frames!

when we got these frames, and I was estatic! It really seemed like a step in the right direction with simple, useable, non-obscuring frames. they're great!

but since, though frames have gotten a little better in readability and specificity, we see no indication towards any change. occasionally, a book like the wildemount book will have some lovely generic frames, but then then the subscriber rewards are right back to weird and specific. can only keep fingers crossed, i suppose.

[starstrvckfool]

We haven't gotten any updates on Qiang and company's journey recently :0 , What's going on with you all!

Ok so it has been a while since I've updated you guys (reason being the DM and players have been very busy with personal activities for school and stuff)

BUT I will update you on what happened last few sessions :3

Part 1

So qiang ended up going to the apeling village and founded out that it was refurbished and turned into a full blown KINGDOM of course we look around and the ground finds out there's a fruit festival going back on

Time skip a bit later where important stuff happens, qiang confronts the imposter and finds its actually LiuYin! (Liuyin is a mimick half apeling! 🫶) Who you guessed it is the macaque of the group, LiuYin explains that after a big fire they didn't know what to do because the kingdom was really panicked so they took qiangs place expecting to only do it for a couple of days and then go back to normal life, but those days ended up turning to year's.

Qiang is understanding towards this answer, we get introduced to a new character called MeiGuei (I think that's how her name is spelled I forgor) who looks rather not like a monkey, or she does but she just doesn't fit in with the rest. But qiang doesn't think anything of it because his romantic partner liuyin is quite literally a half and half of two species anyways so she isn't judgey.

Liuyin has qiang promise not to tell his friends that they were the imposter this whole time, qiang doesn't break this promise and agrees

Liuyin puts on a disguise and Upon them getting introduced to qiangs friends they're rather friendly except jinli, he's kinda thinking everything is really sketchy.

Fast forward to more important plot points, qiang doesn't know how to properly give a speech as king (he hasn't been at the kingdom in 20 year's since he was a prince so he didn't exactly learn alot about being a proper king) so liuyin ends up doing it but UH OH the group spots the imposter and guess what they didn't know it was liuyin So jinli and shichen go to investigate when they go to the festival banquet.

They both leave qiang and go to investigate and end up confronting the imposter, jinli attacks and when qiang catches up he sees the whole thing and tried to break the two apart, this goes sorta fine until qiangs parents come up, liuyin not wanting to get caught being an imposter apologises to qiang in monkey chatter before running off. Qiangs parents see the group and ask qiang what happened because they heard a struggle. The group tries to lie but also explain what they heard at the same time and man our roles were SO BAD BUDDY HAHEJF they didn't believe any of us so they told qiang to go leave to take care of the banquet while they dealt with jinli and shichen, qiang can't talk back to his parents because *COUGH* LORE so she has to agree, again apologizing to jinli and shichen before leaving the hall.

At this point jinli and shichen are pissed at qiang, they don't exactly trust her very much anymore and feel hurt.

So the parents put jinli and shichen in jail, and while that happened qiang got to feel guilty about his actions and slow dance with his lover

And then we left off at a cliffhanger.

Ok part 2

Shichen and jinli are not having a good time in jail, jinli is pissed off swearing he's gonna kill qiang when he gets his hands on him while shichen is like, "please don't do that, I'm made just as you are but it's important fornthe journey"

So they end up talking for a bit until shichen as the idea to explain to the guards they're situation in hopes they'll let them go. After some explaining and some pretty good rolls, they're convinced so jinli and shichen end up out of the prison, YIPPE

Back with qiang, he's having a nice time but again is ridden with guilt especially when tang asked where the others are and qiang just says,"oh they're around" and manages to get qiang to believe him because he's a very gullible monk. It gets late and liuyin says they're going to sleep at a different place while qiang can sleep in his room now since he's back.

Qiang goes to his room and finds that some things are different, on the dresser there are letters but he doesn't wanna read them since they could be private, he senses something in the closet and looks in, previously liuyin kept a magical shadow cloak in the closet but it turns out it was gone which she found pretty strange. And lastly the bed, qiang senses a giant illusion spell on it which is really weird, he manages to dispell it and reveals a small hall of stairs that go up yo the roof, upon going up shichen and jinli manages to catch up with qiang.

All of them question alot of things and qiang goes up the stairs and they follow.

They hear two voices, liuyin in his real form and a new voice, she sounds cold and stern somebody the group has seen before (we theorize that it's the lady bone demon 👀) LiuYin is talking to the demon as if they're negotiating something or the demon is the boss of liuYin. They also stole a red magical sash which is an important artifact the group stole from yin and Jin that bailong seems very protective of. When the two leave shichen and jinli immediately want to investigate and stuff but qiang accidentally let's a sentence slips out which gives away liuYins secret

"Personally I don't want you guys tackling my partner to the floor-"

"Your partner?!"

So yeah they very much want an explanation, and shichen tells qiang that if they have to fight liuyin they will and qiang has to be either with them or Against (ouch)

They go to the hotel to explain things to tang and bailong and then go to the library and that's where liuyin is inna disguise, but because they've already seen this disguise jinli attacks. jinli resorts to violence and because liuyin doesn't like randomly getting tackled it ends up scratching jinlis face which does alot of damage (jinli now has a scar) qiang gets between them and asks liuyin to explain the situation because everybody needs answers.

We find out that liuyin is working for the demon we heard (not against their will tho it's for a different reason that I can't remember but it's not a bad reason dw) liuyin does NOT like qiangs friends anymore and constantly throughout the session asks qiang if he's sure he wants to continue on this journey

Part 3

It's now the middle of the night so they have no choice but to rest up, we all roll and it ends up with qiang and shichen have nightmares while jinli slept like a baby. Wonderful!

In the morning theyre all feeling very tense, there's a feeling of distrust anxiety and worry in the group, they know today is the day to leave so because jinli and shichen are still wanted criminals, tang goes up to liuyin (who's back disguised as qiang) and asks for a pardon, meanwhile shichen sees a magical cloak and BUM BUM it's a voidwalker and it's wearing the magical shadow cloak that went missing. Shichen holds the voidwalker up to make sure it doesn't get away and qiang is close enough to see what's happening and then

It goes into the shadows WITH shichen, meaning shichen is now MISSING. Qiang is already stress out as it is so now she's even more stressed, qiang tells jinli so they both along with bailong end up looking for shichen and he ended up in a tree (shichen is very fearful of going up trees and isn't the best at climbing) qiang does a little "dw guys I'll help him down" and climbs up there easily to try and get shichen down, but jinli just gets the BEST IDEA to get them down, the shake the tree.

In the end only qiang got knocked down due to a very high roll by shichen, but by the second time the big blue lion ended up coming down, and bailong caught him so HORRAY!

when they finally get shichen tang id being escorted to the group by liuYin and MeiGuei, which they all realize they can leave and continue their journey.

Qiang is very hesitant to leave but knows she has too, so saying his goodbyes in monkey chatter to liuyin they say one final message for qiang

"don't let the other's get you in trouble"

Qiang just nods and after that they CONTINUE THEY'RE JOURNEY WESTWARDS ‼️‼️

and that concludes the apeling kingdom, I was meant to make many drawings based off it but i got sidetracked with school and OC work aswell as me being hyperfixated on LMK but ya that's what happened

[possumkingluca]

dnd story time so.. the party I'm in was camping out on this island to avoid a giant fucking sea serpent swimming around while we figure out what we're gonna do about it, and while on final watch our druid saw a sahuagin peeking around the corner at us.. so they woke us up because gross fish person alert and also what the fuck are they supposed to about it. They might speak every language in the phb but the very specific ones??? They don't speak fish person. Also they only have a +1 in charisma and also are the bluntest mf alive they are NOT allowed to speak. now we are awake and very clearly see it trying to hide behind a rock and we start plotting how the hell we're gonna deal with it. I play an eloquence bard. I have universal speech. I wont be able to understand it because universal speech is a dumb feature BUT idk we can play charades or some shit. Draw in the sand maybe ???

fun little fact: i fucked up a conversation with someone really bad the prior session (i was eepy and couldn't think very well :((( ) and ended up buying a dried fish from them to escape. fighter: you could offer them that fish me: i could..... .....does that count as cannibalism??? DM: ...probably not So i walk up close enough to it so i can use universal speech and held out the dried fish me: would you like fish?

sahuagin: *very carefully walks up* and

ok. so the sahuagin goes back into the water for a minute and.. out comes, a lot of them. ten fish people. ten. me: ... *turns back to our druid* WE'RE GONNA NEED MORE FISH. druid: *starts frantically catching fish* so we start a like fish conveyor belt with our druid catching the fish, throwing it to our fighter, and our fighter tossing it to me to offer. eventually the fighter joins in fishing and luckily they both have a good survival skill so it goes pretty quickly. then out comes one that is a.. woman? maybe? i don't know fish person anatomy, why would i know fish person anatomy this is like the third/fourth time i've ever seen an ocean. and while she's fucking staring me down another one comes out who is much. much. bigger. we just mugged a young dragon (yeah this session started out with us mugging a dragon, happens all the time don't worry about it) and this fucker is the like same height as it. and he has four arms. (kackles is that you ???? (no it's not he's much shorter. and also a bug.)) me: ..do i need like two fish for each of his pair of arms????? priestess sahuagin: touches her finger to my head me: oh shit she gon blow my head off she did not. instead she cast tounges on me. great. because I WANT to have a conversation with these people. so they complement our fishing ability and big fuck asks us if we take commissions.

me: what the fuck do they mean commissions druid's player: say yes. me: ...yes. they want us to catch 50 pounds of fish.

They are offering payment though! Got a pearl necklace worth about 1000 gold.. some earrings worth i think about 500 gold idk i forgor and a big ass gold ship steering wheel worth who fucking knows what the hell ??? They claim they got these from 'the beast' which we assumed meant a ship Now back to the 50 pounds of fish issue. We do have a solution to this problem. Kill the sea serpent and take 50 pounds of meat from it. Solving two problems at once. We give these guys their fish, and we deal with the serpent. But because we are sometimes smart I ask about their opinion on the serpent so we don't like accidentally kill their friend or some shit cause that'd be certified not good

"We care not for the monster who protects the beast" ...sea serpents eat ships.... W A I T. TANAZIR?????

so. this campaign started as a Strixhaven campaign that we continued on after graduation. currently one of our many tasks on our quest to save the world (why are we here what are we doing none of us should be here besides the fighter) is to find where all the founder dragons are hiding. We've already found Shadrix Silverquill and we guessed that Tanazir Quandrix (women in S.T.E.M!!!!) was around here and during mine and the fighter's watches we saw her come out of this whirpool thing and talk to the sea serpent. these fuckers stole from one of the fucking founder dragons. how? how the hell do you accomplish that??

and also now we know that the serpent is friends with Tanazir so we can't kill it because that'd probably piss her off and uh let's not do that. (also we should probably return the treasure to her :((( our money :(((( don't you know robbing two young dragons of their entire hoard is simply not nearly enough money ??? (we are greedy and also lunatics)) anyway okay so not killing the serpent. and we are 100% gonna have to backstab our new fish friends :((( we end up deciding to send our fighter (who has a cloak of the manta ray) and our druid (can just.. become a fish) to go into deeper water to hopefully find some tuna, while me and our wizard (he's here too, just has been comatose cause his player wasn't here. gonna be a fun surprise for him next session.) stay here to make sure the sahuagin don't think we're scamming them or something. Also i can compensate for our wizard's zero in charisma, and while our fighter has a -1 in charisma he was a quandrix student so he'll probably be ok if they encounter the serpent maybe. the sahuagin asked how long it would take for us to get the fish (it would take maybe a week maybe longer) so with a not technically a lie (the DM let me use persuasion thank god because i can't get lower than a 21 in persuasion (silver tounge rizz)) i convinced them that'd it take about two weeks BUT if they provided us a harpoon (the fighter wanted one) it'd only take a week-ish Before our druid and fighter could escape the sahuagin start circling around them.. singing? some ritual's going on, mayhaps blessing their trip. maybe. and the fuckin priestess one comes up to me and starts having a conversation. Priestess Sahuagin: Are you of faith? Me: /i don't follow any gods i'm just an english major. welp the founder dragons are like almost gods so Shadrix can count sure why not/ ..yes Priestess Sahuagin: *asking me if i like the spell guiding bolt* (I forgot exactly what she said) Me: *considers the like 10 times i've ended a fight with a well timed crit using guiding bolt* yes. Priestess Sahuagin: *something about their shark god i don't remember i'm tired* druid's player: he's pretty neat Me: ...he's pretty neat. Priestess Sahuagin: He is pretty neat :) (help) anyway so I planned for our wizard and i to kinda hang out on the beach while we wait for the other two to return. the sahuagin had other plans. They ask if we have gills (no) They ask what we are

me: do they want an actual answer ??? DM: yeah me: ...im a lizardfolk ...*points at fighter* he's a dragonborn *points at druid* they're a tiefling (the sahuagin have no fucking clue what the hell (heh) a tiefling is and maybe that's for the best) and *points at wizard* he's a human. Sahuagin: *death staring our wizard* that explains why he's elf like. ??why does everyone have beef with elves?? let's just leave out the fact our druid has an elven husband. and be glad we didn't bring him with us on this trip. i mean he's not a sea elf but y'know anyway so the session ends with our wizard and i about to be kidnapped and dragged to the ocean where the sahuagin live (im pretty sure we were given potions of water breathing which is good cause i would prefer not drowning.) and the druid and fighter setting out to go get a shit ton of fish pray for our souls

@datfatnerd are you proud us

[lexicals]

So I'm gonna write this down partially for my own reference and partially bc I'm curious to know what other dms following me think of the concept - curse of strahd module spoilers below the cut here

So long story short the CoS campaign I was running had to be put on hiatus because of inter-group issues, and at this point my plan is that once I've finished running our current pathfinder module, I want to reboot it minus the players that will not be returning for various reasons, and plus the new players that want to join from the pathfinder group.

Now obviously the rub here is that 2 of the 5 or so players have already played this module up to lv5, but the other 3 are coming in with varying levels of knowledge (one person has DMed it, but long enough ago that he doesn't remember most of it, plus a lot of the later sections I've got for this module are homebrew, and the other two know nothing about it other that what I and the other players have mentioned to them). I don't really like the idea of subbing in 2 or 3 new characters to the campaign halfway through, as this will be a completely new dynamic that they'll have to adjust to on the fly, as well as the new players having no context or attachment to anything that's happening, but nor would it be fair to the OG players to just slap them back to level 1 and have them try their best not to metagame.

So, I am thinking. What if I just groundhog day the whole party. They get reset back to the entrance of barovia, but retain all their levels and gear that they've picked up, and the NPCs that were travelling with them (Ireena and Arabelle, in this case). My in-universe justification for this is that one or both of the party members who will definitely not be returning fell prey to the temptations of the dark powers, and tried to kill either Ireena or each other, in order to earn themselves their own demiplane domain (they've just come out of a homebrew mini-domain, so this would be thematically appropriate I think). The third player who is currently a "maybe-depends-on-scheduling-but-probably-not" happens to be a paladin of lathander, so he (in his aspect as the morning lord) and the elven god of dusk whose name I cannot remember right now work together through her to perform an act of divine intervention that results in the reset, and can remove her from play if needed due to the impact of channelling that much divine power. This would be linked to postgame homebrew plans I had linked to a couple of players' backstories (unfortunately mostly the ones that are not returning, but what can you do) wherein shar aka mother night is amassing a cult in her name whose endgame goal is to summon a beast capable of destroying the moon and thus assassinating selune, who lathander & co are allied with. They know that if the cycle begins again with ireena's death/the party falling apart and strahd remains undefeated the party will not be able to leave barovia in order to combat what's happening on the material plane, and they can't afford the loss of time that would occur (I'm thinking it has to be this particular group for prophecy reasons or something idk about that yet lmao). The party get their reset with the warning that they cannot fail again.

This also means that I can justify a hike in difficulty by removing the influence of the morning lord and the sun itself from barovia, leaving shar and strahd more powerful as it becomes a very literal land of eternal night. Aside from that, my plan is to run everything mostly the same as before, with the hope that the old players will be able to have fun being allowed to selectively metagame with their knowledge of events, which they can share with the rest of the group, who also get to experience events they would otherwise have missed. It should mean we get through the content we've already covered fairly efficiently but with room for things to play out a little differently this time, whether that's fixing mistakes from last time or making new ones lol.

I think it's hopefully a fair solution but I would be really interested to hear what other people think about it; my main worry is that it won't have the intended effect and the old players will be bored while the new players feel swept along. Genuinely would love to know what other GMs or even just other players think of the concept!

[sagesariadnd]

Please Watch March on Faewunder. I Just Think It's Neat.

I'm waiting on a few things before I start posting pictures like I promised, so in the meantime, I have a recommendation if you're looking for a D&D actual play show that isn't one of the Big Three.

I've fairly recently started dipping my toes into the World of Io, a collection of streamed short campaigns set in the DM's homebrew world of, well, Io. I started with, and am still in the middle of, March on Faewunder. I started it because my current parasocial squish Tom Fawkes is in it, and I'm sticking with it for some of the most wholesome and funny roleplay I've ever seen. A warning now that the following is an unhinged infodump about how much I love this campaign, but I promise a link is at the bottom!

Highlights include:

Actually streaming session zero! I don't know if other shows have done this, but it's the first time I've seen it and found it really cool to see the process in action. This includes an introduction to Io's history and world makeup and answering the players' questions about it, so it's great for onboarding new viewers because they don't have to have watched the other campaigns. Plus, hearing the players talk about the kind of characters they were making made me immediately excited for the campaign and the dynamics within the party, which was clearly the case for the people watching too because there was fanart literally that night.

Mark Hulmes - the host of High Rollers...you know, that actual play show that did the one-shot with the Baldur's Gate 3 cast last year - playing a half-lagomon paladin with the energy of DiC dub Sailor Moon. Yeah that's right, a grown-ass man is shamelessly playing his ideal bunny girl waifu and nobody judges him for it because Gloria is a precious cinnamon roll and must be cherished.

A southern belle dhampir ranger named Vidalia whose parasol is both a sword and a gun...crossbow...thing. Also she's a swarmkeeper ranger and her swarm is birds! Used to be corvids, now I think it's hawks. And she's the sweetest damn person you'll ever meet and doesn't even hide that she's a vampire.

An elf bard named Pandora who got her name literally because her player thought it was fun to say in her character voice, and she says it to herself in character when she's anxious. She's also a vampire hunter who's afraid of birds.

Disclaimer: Pandora is an emotional wreck of a character with a heart of gold and she WILL make you cry at least every other session.

Did I mention those three are totally in an awkward disaster lesbian cuddle puddle? Cause they totally are. Vidalia even calls Gloria 'hunny bun' and it's the most adorable thing in the world.

Hey, you wanna have lots of emotions about skeletons? Well Tom has you covered with Ribeye, the skeleton bard who wants to be a chef! (Gee, DM, how come your mom lets your campaign have TWO bards?) Don't be fooled by his punny name or his Ed Wynn voice, this skeleton will fuck you up emotionally almost as much as Pandora. This youtube funnyman has made his fellow players wail loudly into the microphone like Rocky freaking Lockridge.

And you wanna know why there's so many emotions about skeletons? Well for one thing Tom's just really good at roleplaying but the big catalyst is that neither Ribeye in character, nor any of the players out of character, know Ribeye's HP. The DM just tells him if he gets knocked out. The DM rolls his hit dice for him. And he can't be healed by normal healing magic, only necromancy. Yeah uh...nobody in the party can cast necromancy. They found a backup, but it's VERY temporary and the DM plays the game HARD. Your butt WILL clench every single time Ribeye takes damage. The party's butts sure do. No really, it's genuinely sweet how hard they all work to protect their skelebro.

I feel bad that I don't have a lot to say comparatively about the last member, the changeling monk Kagami. I think he's just along for the ride. But he's there, and he's as badass as a monk should be, and he's the source of a good few funny moments, including the ever optimistic statement "I haven't exploded yet!" (no you don't get context, watch the show) and the pure D&D energy of spending all your money on a stupid carnival prize because it's so ridiculous you just HAVE to have it. It even comes in handy, how the heck did that happen???

If you like crafting, Faewunder has you covered with all sorts of fun homebrewing! Every long rest is an adventure! Ribeye whips up all sorts of fun dishes and names them! Kagami supes up everyone's weapons and armor! Pandora desperately tries to keep up the supply of potions Ribeye can drink! The DM has a chart of all sorts of fun buffs they can unlock and put on their gear, so long as there's time to make it. It takes up a decent chunk of the sessions, but the party makes it work through...

Camp RP! Banter and sharing feelings around the campfire almost every long rest, including the ones that come from just travel time with nothing happening! I've never seen a party so willing to share their feelings with each other and they're so delightfully close, even if Kagami's still keeping things close to his scarily muscular chest at the moment.

Intense combat with some of the wildest luck (or usually lack thereof) I've ever seen on a VTT. I thought it was roll20 that hated us, who kicked Foundary's dog???

Crazy fae shit

Fucked up trees! Every DM needs to have at least one fucked up tree encounter.

Fun with voice modulators!

Distinct and lovable NPCs!

A disclaimer that the NPCs will never flirt with the PCs unless the PCs initiate. That's just a good rule of thumb to have in a DM-player dynamic! I mean, check that the DM is comfortable with it too, but really I'm just sad that 'not sicing a horny NPC on my players' is noteworthy.

A channel in the Io discord exclusively for rules lawyering, so the DM can receive feedback on goofed up rules (or ignore the ones from people who forget his houserules) without them cluttering up the twitch chat or distracting him from running the game! Now THAT'S innovation, y'all!

Fanart every night, and bingo cards that the DM fills out with the chat!

The DM is a racoon wizard! Seriously, how can you say no to that?!

Anyway it's really good, and if any of this sounds appealing the playlist is below. It's a relatively short campaign - 13 sessions averaging around three hours apiece. I'll definitely be checking out the rest of the Io campaigns after I finish Faewunder, but I feel like it's gonna be hard to top this group.

[muse-soup]

Get to Know Me Meme

Name: Gyro (Enough people called me Gyro-mun back in the day that once, when I was in a group chat with two other people who had the same birth name, I said "fuck it" and just started going by Gyro. It's been ten years lmao.) Pronouns: They/Them Sexuality: Yes Single or Taken: Taken

THREE FACTS

- I've danced in a West End production of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. There was an audience participation number and some of us got pulled up on stage. - I run a D&D game on Saturdays. We started out playing Curse of Strahd, but it's kind of mutated from there. The party pissed off a night hag who is now making two of the party members collect souls for her as reparations, adopted a gate guard, created a power vacuum by killing both major political leaders and started a peasant revolt in the main hub town, "rescued" a flesh golem and left her to her own devices in the forest, may or may not have lit an abbey on fire, melted a pack of werewolves with acid, lost a party member who they are now seeking (the irl player had other commitments lol), went into a Bag of Holding to fight the Bag Man, and are currently investigating a spider cult who are a splinter faction of the canonical demon cult they stopped before the plot could unfold. It's been a wild ride. - I always type "DRAFT" on replies I save for later in case I accidentally post them.

EXPERIENCE

HOW LONG - Since I was around 12-ish? So nearly 18 years.

WHAT PLATFORMS - Neopets, an ancient Nightmare Before Christmas fan site, GaiaOnline, Facebook DMs, DeviantArt, Skype, Tumblr, and Discord. Pretty much just those last two these days.

BEST EXPERIENCE - If I could be sappy for a moment, it was probably meeting my partner (and many friends besides!) through Tumblr RP. But if we want something more specific, I was part of that giant vampire story that @dreamsofalife mentioned in her meme (x); I was the guy whose head got cut off and came back as a robot. Also worth mentioning was a big thread I did with an old pal, where their muse was turned into a swan via Magic Anon, and they decided the anon (now known as Greyfellow) would take his place as his doppelganger and try to take over the kingdom. Shenanigans ensued, a parrot trapped my muse in a pantry and lit the kitchen on fire, the Queen almost had her soul sucked out-- good times.

MUSE TYPE

FEMALE OR MALE - Any and all.

FLUFF, ANGST, OR SMUT - Honestly? Too much fluff or too much angst becomes stale and one-note after a while, and smut's something I tend to do sparingly since it rarely adds to the plot. They're seasonings, not the main dish. I CRAVE VARIETY AND NUANCE, BABY!

PLOT OR MEMES - I'm good with both! Although I admit I default to memes if I'm feeling low energy or if I don't know my partner well.

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES - Either! Sometimes you need multiple paragraphs to set your scene, and other times a simple "Oh, fuck." will suffice. As long as the other person has enough to work with, everything's fair game.

BEST TIME TO WRITE - Honestly I do my best writing either right when I wake up (whatever time that may be) or after dinner, when I get my second wind. Sometimes I get random spurts throughout the day, though.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSES? - Some of them are aspirational, and some of them are just me in a hat. For the most part, though, I try to find a good balance of how much of myself I allow to slip through. And every once in a while I'll try to write a muse who's nothing like me at all, only to realize we're more alike than I thought.

[archangelsunited]

12, 13, 16!

Choose Violence Ask Game (Skyrim edition? Rolling the dice on this one. I am so sorry if this was meant as a star wars ask)

12.) The unpopular character I like and why more people should like them.

I think I can like any character enough, if they are written well. In my own works, I've had push back on Harkon and Madanach, so let me talk about my violent love affair with political nightmares. As with most things Skyrim, this is conjecture.

Harkon fascinates me, because he is an itty-bitty part of a vast daedric game that has been going on since the daedra have been in play. And he's been mostly silent player- while he was able to gather at least two elder scrolls. He's lord over the vampires, which means he's got to manage a large swathe of area, while being hamstrung for half the day. And I think he's good at it. I think he sends the right people to do the right job. He has the two ambitious members of his court fighting each other, and the competent members overseeing areas- where do we need eyes, where has something gone wrong. I think he looks at problems and finds solutions. I also enjoy the fact he has a terrible family life and that opens so many doors. He's also in a weird place historically. He's a funky little dude. He turns into a smurf (dm whoever came up with that, because it was hilarious) . He's evil, he's good at his job, he's nigh on indestructible. What's a funner villian to play with? Alduin? He couldn't last past the Merethic Era. Miraak? You either play the game of daedra or die. He ended up imprisoned for four thousand years. Please.

Madanach: From a purely democratic standpoint, the Reach already belongs to the Reachmen. They have the majority of settlements- and it looks like theirs are more populated. So any commentary on the rights of Ignmund or the Silver-Bloods being the proper rulers is, to me, null and void. Every single job you take in the Reach involves killing Reachmen. (Not including Peyite's quest and the Dragon roosts) Your job, as a mercenary, is to kill Reachmen. The guards job, it seems, is to kill Reachmen. The Jarl has decided, when he is giving the jobs, that his duty, is to kill Reachmen. Please consider this to be a sign that the Reachmen are being hunted and systematically killed. I understand a player could be offended that they shot the almighty dragonborn with their arrows (which are worse than iron arrows), but if an armed stranger was coming near my settlement with a weapon I would assume (I hope this isn't out of left field for anyone) that they were coming to kill Reachmen. So, Madanach, little cockroach that he is, survives the systematic killing long enough to take over Markarth. Then he waits in a dungeon for /over a decade/ and both handles the busybody Silverbloods and his fight for the rightful rule of the Reach. He holds onto hope for /over a decade/. I would have given up much sooner. Also, I think his speeches are really good, and that he seems like the sort of verbose person who you never wonder what they are feeling. This delights me.

13.) Worst Blorboficiation

Who to offend.... Who to offend...... Honestly, probably Farkas. (this does not apply to @elfinismsarts, whose fic makes me love Farkas in a way I did not know I could) Very sweet man- also ripped several people to shreds in front of you and sends you to go hunt vampires on your own for 100. 100. It doesn't matter if you are level one or level ninety. That is highway robbery.

16.) I can't understand why so many people like this thing

Aetherium questline. Just. All of it.