#I've even been doing art I just haven't been POSTING IT FOR SOME FUCKING REASON
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lostximagination · 24 days ago
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11/8/24
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It was just a few scant months ago that Issac Riley and Anna Kahale met with a literal lightning strike. A lot happened very quickly, and the both of them are still adjusting to the changes in their lives.
Anna has to learn to control her newfound magic, and Issac has to deal with the drastic changes to his life from finding out he was the legendary magical figure known as the Master.
Kevin Anderson is still at large, leaving the both of them in grave danger, especially Issac, as he’s still recovering from his last encounter with the dangerous witch hunter.
This is made much worse as threats from the far past are returning, and quickly… And as the first Master in centuries, it’s on Issac to deal with them, and defeat the returning Darkness before it gets too strong. Can he handle the pressure, even with Anna’s help, or will he crack under the strain, and potentially doom the world with him?
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First book's ebook is free until release day
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hexcitrine · 10 months ago
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randomly looked at this account to update my age and holy shit it's been a while since i posted here..........i have a small pile of art i have yet to post but hbhbshdbshbd too lazy
#part of it is that i haven't posted any of my recent art but in addition#i haven't made new art in a WHILE (abt 3 months) which is highly unusual for me but the reason for that is#3 months ago i suddenly remembered that i tried learning mandarin for three (3) days before forgetting about it for 9 months#(amusingly the reason why is not because of danmei......i did not even know danmei existed when i first decided to learn it)#anyways i have been insanely fixated on learning it for the past 3 months#however since art is primarily a way for me to process my interests and that only really be done when i'm fixated on media........well#let's just say i have not been making art at all#that might change soon tho#rn i'm reading 撒野 (saye) in chinese bc it's at a level i can read and i fucking love it so far#idk why i picked a book longer than svsss (which took me a week to read in english)...u would think there's no chance of me finishing it#or even reading it#especially when the only novel i've read before this is a chinese translation of the fucking magic finger by roald dahl LMFAO#but it's been a week and i'm a fifth of the way into it which i was not expecting at all#it was initially an exercise of “i will get as far as i can and try my best to read a chapter a day” but i've been zipping through chapters#last night i was up until 3 AM reading it and i was so tempted to read more but had to stop myself#of course this is all aided by pleco which lets me quickly look up words that i don't know yet. pleco ily#that being said...this all does mean i know words like 收銀台 before i even know the word for “orange” (the color) which is pretty funny#but idk considering that the sum of my time spent learning chinese is just 3 months..........i think i am doing pretty damn good#i thought it would be a LOT longer before i could finally start enjoying some interesting things#god but it really has been a while since i last read a high school romance...but i am quite fond of the leads and their respective baggage#sorry for the whole tag ramble.........i haven't really had anyone to talk abt this stuff with#oh also it's my birthday#that is why i am even here to update my age in the first place#happy lan wangji birthday#actually the only reason i realized it was gonna be my birthday soon is because i saw chinese artists posting lan wangji birthday fanart#and then remembered that we share the same birthday#also re: the art i haven't posted yet.........a good chunk of it is misvil fanart...song qingshi my beloved#and there's also a luo binghe drawn on an art app i PROGRAMMED MYSELF (!!!!!!!!!) in there#actually that piece is the main reason i haven't posted the art i HAVE made. how the fuck do i explain that i drew it on an app that i made#sorry this is genuinely the most off the rails tag ramble i've ever done. okay i'm done
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discoreptile · 1 year ago
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Wee ha
#Arright here I go again I gotta do some of these when I gotta vent#posting this on the 17th of August#So the elestral thing is going alright. My focus has shifted a LOT there but I'm still working with em#But the majority of my work comes from another client now. It's another one of these things that I'd love to make by myself#But someone else is making it and wanting me to do the art and music. It's gonna be huge. What a life it is. Anyway#This gif is from yet another project I started recently. Separate from Smile More HoaM and anything else. I keep fucking doing this#But this one's strange. It reflects my current working skills I've built up all these years. A multimedia experience that has a start n end#featuring all your favourite elphame characters in a new style. I'm enjoying making it but there's one problem#I haven't worked on it in like a month and a half#Work is piling up. Pixel art is something I don't do for myself anymore#It's not even a case of “as soon as I have time to myself my fingers can't move" it's that I just do not have any spare time lmao#I meet Ashley once or twice a week. We still play digimon a lot but we're taking this month off since she's petsitting and can't go out lat#My flatmate has basically taken the summer off work since his job pays well enough for him to do so#so having him around to play games with is nice. Feels awkward taking baths with him in the house tho lmao#He is kind of the only reason I take breaks. I got pikmin 4 and it is incredible. Genuinely might have replaced Digimon World as 1st place#Mum took Andy and I to Netherlands recently. It was incredible. I played in a local digimon tournament and ate shit#Have just been so excited about travelling lately. Ashy taking me to manchester soon and I think we'll go london next spring or sooner#Worried I'm overdoing it with the tags so I'll sign off here. Work is stressing me out but it looks like big things are happening.#OH MY GOD I HAVE STOPPED BLEEDING BTW. Like almost altogether. Haven't in like a month. The trick is in the big box I rest my feet on.#It's too tall. I tried replacing it with a pile of folders half as tall and my bleeding fucking stopped. No crohn's disease or anything.#Just a big stupid fucking box. Anyway see you
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drenched-in-sunlight · 28 days ago
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Hi there! I wanted to say your art is absolutely incredible and always brings me back to Elden Ring when I forget just how amazing the game is. I live for your depictions of Marika.🥹
I was partly just curious after you posted the recent family tree, is there a reaspn Ranni and Radahn don't make as much of an appearance in your drawings? What is your thoughts on their questline/storyline in general?
Thanks for all the cool art, you're getting better with every piece!!
tbh... i think draw Ranni a lot, she's literally the cover of my first fromsoft fanbook 🥲🥲
though most of my art of her is from 2 years ago, i wouldn't say i don't draw her often at all 😭 i've drawn Radahn 4-5 times too. i understand because i draw too much, it's easy to have an impression that i draw some specific characters less, but compared to, say, the Omen Twins or Rykard or Melina (who i keep meaning to draw but haven't got around to do so yet), Radahn and Ranni are two Carian characters i draw the most of that side of the family (well, Rellana is looking to dethrone them soon but you get what i mean aksfkjdfkj)
Radahn dudebro fans keep pointing fingers saying i hate him but i actually like him. as a guyfailure that is so obsessed with these symbols of a Lord in his father and Godfrey, yet failed to live up to any of them (*stare at that scene of Morgott whooping his ass*). his involvement in the DLC is an interesting spin on things to me, and make a lot of sense in the grand scheme of things (when i saw that we found like... 11 Miquella's Lily in places most personal to Radahn like Carian Manor and Sellia. hoo boy).
lately, i lowkey think Radagon specifically picked him for Miquella and encouraged his obsession with being a Lord. to me at least Radagon is really bitter that Godfrey is the First Lord and not him (her actual other's half! sentenced to live away from her while another man got to be her first in everything! the injustice!), so him not only discrediting Godfrey's descendants (whole thing with Hunters of TWLiD) but also preparing a whole new pair of Lord and God that should have been how he and Marika could have been from the start sounds like the kind of overcompensation he'd be doing (look honey that could be us but you tripping).
so in a way i do feel for Radahan and Miquella falling victims to Radagon's list of issues (though it's only one reason in many other reasons for them to turn out that way ofc. Radagon merely nudges the pieces into certain direction, they go barreling head first down on their own). and i actually like that i could come up with all that thanks to the DLC. imo it actually adds a lot more to Radahn and Miquella's character (depends on how you view the story though whoops).
you can say i like him (and Miq) the way one likes AC6 Iguazu... or Genichiro. the kind of hater characters that are doomed to fail from the start, but they are stubborn and will run head first into the wall again and again. and it's fun to put them in a jar and shake them.
Ranni... after the DLC my feeling for her is a bit more complicated. before i get why she did all those things and i like her story enough, but after the DLC as you see i come to really like Godwyn and links him closely to Marika. so now it's kinda awkward for me to insert Ranni in all the scenarios im drawing lately?
it's not that i stop liking her, it's simply that the scenario doesn't line up for me to add her in that's all. and it goes to other characters i haven't drawn tbh. not because i don't like them, i simply don't have anything in my brain about them to draw out. i don't think there's any characters in Elden Ring i hate tbh (yes i do like even the Hornsents. i find the stories in the scorpion stew and dried flower talisman really somber and give them a lot of humanity too, fucked up rituals aside).
and thank you for your kind words! my editor has been on my ass for a whole year about my art and it does help me improve a lot, im glad to know it shows in the quality of my fanarts as well!
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lord-squiggletits · 18 days ago
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Hello! This was for your ‘ask me megop stuff’ post, which I realize I’ve lost track of october so if you’re not looking for those anymore feel free not to answer!! But in case you still want asks!
-How do you think megatron and optimus each react to being sick/who is the worse patient? Or how do they react to each other being sick? (in a scenario where they were in proximity to each other, could be during or post war)
-Do you have any headcanons about hearts of steel megop? Ik there’s not a lot there in canon but still, megatron cannon looks cool XD I have been contemplating if plug n play would work the same way because I’m not sure if a cannon and a train have cables the same way? Or if it’d work the same because they’re alien tech anyways!
-In the spirit of the season, what do you think each of them would wear for halloween if a scenario occurred where they had to dress up, or how do you think they would get out of wearing a halloween costume?
Sickness: I've actually thought about this before and even thought of writing a fluff piece for it in NATP-verse! Idk about who's the better/worse patient, but I think Megatron is actually the best caretaker simply bc Optimus is so active and powerful (their equality is a reason they're attracted to each other after all) that it's rare for Megatron to get the chance to be nurturing and protective towards Optimus. And I think, because IDW Megatron in particular deprived himself of attachments for so long, the act of caring for another person is especially novel to him and so he just loves doing it. Optimus is there all sick and grumpy bc he can't jump off buildings or w/e but meanwhile Megatron couldn't be happier... even the tedious/gross stuff just makes him so happy to have a chance to care for Optimus 😭 I think they're both equally bad patients for the same reason (tough, independent leaders not used to relying on others), but Megatron makes an especially good caretaker/they're both in better moods when OP is sick and M is in charge bc Megatron's latent tenderness simply gets a chance to jump out
Also, this is why it's a really good reason that in Addicted to You, Megatron is the one who overdosed while Optimus is the one who's taking care of him. Bc I think if it was the opposite way around, sore interface array or not Megatron would be doing the hell out of Optimus bc he simply would not be able to resist the combination of needy, desperate, affectionate Optimus PLUS getting the chance to take care of his needs? Actual heaven. (This is basically what happened in Megatron's OP-threesome wet dream anyways so I'm sure that's not a surprise sldkjlsdf)
Hearts of Steel MegOP: None, sadly 😔 I actually haven't read the comic (if there's a full comic? I've seen concept art but that's it). Also yeah, I think that even when they take on Earth vehicle alt modes, they only superficially look like Earth vehicles and their actual composition and interior guts are still Cybertronian. So, cables.
Halloween Costumes:
Joke answer #1: Them showing up to a Halloween party is scary enough as it is, so they just come as themselves
Joke answer #2: They come in dressed as each other (like, paint swap and wearing fake kibble stapled to themselves) and do absolutely uncanny impressions of each other's voices and mannerisms
Joke answer #3: They don't dress as each other but they pretend that they had a personality swap through some unknown technological mishap (or maybe they actually did personality swap) and they fucking prank everyone else bc everyone at the party genuinely can't tell if Megatron and Optimus are telling the truth or lying about the personality swap, or they're like trying to find the hologram devices bc clearly they're actually disguised as each other and there's no way that Megatron could reproduce Optimus' quiet, bleeding-heart self-effacing nature or that Optimus could reproduce Megatron's loud self-righteous declarations, right? lksdflsdk it could honestly go either way as to whether or not they actually swapped or are just pretending
Honestly, I'm not sure I have a NON joke answer for this one akldfjls I hope these answers were satisfying!
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hangingslothcentral · 6 days ago
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Today is the fourth anniversary of the day I launched Spirit Box Radio, and it's also the last day of trans awareness week.
I have a lot of big feelings about SBR. If you've listened to the show, you'll know that I was medically transitioning through its release. I went on T at the show's midpoint, in the middle of S2, and my voice was changing throughout the rest of the show's run. I got top surgery two months after the show ended, almost exactly to the day.
Now. We're all big enough and daft enough to be able to have a grown up conversation about this, I think. So here's some stuff about that experience I haven't really talked about before.
1. I wish there had been media which had trans creators transitioning alongside a character who is transitioning when I was younger. The main reason for this is that it would have been representation of trans people, but honestly? The main thing I wanted was to see someone transitioning over a long period of time. So often, transition seems to happen behind closed doors. Unless you are lucky enough to have lots of trans people around you (I grew up in semi-rural Wales so no luck for me there) you just do not see it happening. People, understandably, want to hide the length of the process, the messy in between stages.
2. Transitioning and playing Sam transitioning simultaneous to me was one of the most mentally challenging and emotionally vulnerable things I've ever done. I do not say this lightly; I'm a survivor of abuse and I've seen a lot of shit in my life. I've come out as nonbinary at a corporate job and argued with a university about changing my name on my graduation certificate. As much as I loved it, and still love it, and I'm intensely proud of it and SO glad it exists, making SBR was fucking brutal. Hours of editing my own voice through a period where it sounded different on a near-weekly basis. Having no idea how I sounded anymore and posting episodes anyway. Dealing with the emotional fallout of people responding weirdly to me in my real, actual life whilst portraying a character who is outcast, isolated, and terrified of himself? Challenging as fuck.
3. Many people need to examine the way they're talking about trans men. The conversations around Sam shifted very violently as my voice dropped. This is in part due to the arc this character follows, but it's hard not to notice a shift in language as dramatic as this. It started as soon as the show came back from its S2 midseason break and my voice had shifted down a bit. People talked less about Sam being cute, and for the first time, I started to see people talking about him like he was sexy. These things aren't mutually exclusive, but it was very noticeable to me, especially in contrast to conversations about Oliver, Sam's hot, cis gender, florist boyfriend, who was categorised as sexy from the off. Before my voice dropped, even though they were using the right pronouns for them, people talked about Sam with very feminine, infantilising language, and this almost entirely stopped when my voice dropped.
4. I am so fucking glad I did this. Yes, it was brutal, emotional, and I really struggled through a lot of this process, and I am so glad I did this. I will have the immense privilege of medically transitioning in the way I have over the last few years exactly once in my life. I am glad I took that vulnerable moment and made art with it. I'm glad that my transition is captured and mirrored by this thing I was making at the time it was happening. I'm glad that thousands of other trans people have listened to the show and have heard me doing this as they are doing it, or before they do it, or after, or as they're deciding not to, or finding out they can't, or realising they'll never have the chance, or any one of the myriad experiences of transness that exist. I am, frankly, honoured to have been a part of such a vulnerable aspect in the lives of so many people.
Thank you for reading this. Thank you for listening to the show, if indeed you already have. If you enjoy my work, I would love to be able to pay my bills and be able to keep making it. I have never made even minimum wage for the work I do on my shows. Please consider becoming a member.
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ageravena · 2 months ago
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You know what, the Fairly OddParents fandom has been quite tame. Let's spice things up a little bit.
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Doesn't anybody else get that silly feeling when you see fanart of Peri being like a father to Dev, like... where's the rest of you 😍? Don't be shy, show us where Dale is. Or are you too scared? (I wouldn't blame you, I was too at first)
Small warning: this post includes slight swearing and many brain-numbing headcanons. I'm not responsible for any mental anguish you may experience
I would like to quickly apologize to the 6 people shipping Peri with Dale. I thought I was the only one but it seems like I've finally found my people. Anyways, back to the topic.
Now that you're here, I may as well show some more art of these two goobers +some silly headcanons. These are my AUed* versions of the two in my odd semi-realistic style that I completely ditch whenever I don't have the patience to draw faces (I often suck at drawing them. No wonder all my OCs are furries)
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Note: him being slightly chubby and him having mobility issues are both headcanons I have shamelessly borrowed from others in the fandom. Also am I the only one who thinks Peri WOULDN'T be 6 ft tall? In the series he's like 5 apples tall, so wouldn't it make sense for him to be a bit short?
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Note: there's like a bunch of lore explaining the reason why Dale looks so fucked up in my version. I scarred him for life, oopsie! But at least he has Peri now who "forces" him to go to therapy 😍. I may need to make a seperate post where I only talk about him and his past if I have the motivation.
I know a lot of you don't even know the pain of trying to convert a stylized character into a realistic style and still making them look good and kinda recognizable. I envy you who have less realistic art styles.
*And yes, I did say AU. More specifically I'm talking about the "Missionaries of Eden AU" (by me). I'm not gonna go into detail now, but basically it's a semi-biblical and more serious take on FOP, where the fairies are angels, anti-fairies are demons and pixies... I think they can stay as pixies, or maybe they're ghosts, bees? (There's a lot of things I still need to figure out) Their tasks are to work as missionaries on the planets of Eden (planets where life exists). There's a bunch of other lore (some of which I've explained on my casual/personal account on Instagram), but it's best I leave it for another time.
Btw: if you've seen me talk about a "Below the Stars AU", "Bible AU", "Ager DLC" or something else, it's all just the same thing. I just had a hard time coming up with a good name for it lol.
Also speaking of which, I have another post coming up (hopefully) where I explain my reasons for shipping Peri and Dale. It can honestly, out of context, seem like a toxic yaoi crack ship, but believe it or not but I managed to make it the opposite; plausible AND healthy. I want to enlighten you all plus I really want to yap about them.
It feels super funny to ship such a underrated ship. I'm used to shipping semi-popular ships, so to now be all alone feels kinda fun! They have so much potential and so few are seeing the vision?? Though to be fair I'm also glad it's not that famous lmao.
Ps. Ignore the fact I haven't posted anything here for at least half-a-year. All my mutuals are on Instagram, so I don't have a need to post here, though now I've decided to dedicate this account to hyperfixation slop so maybe you'll be hearing from me much sooner.
Ps. Ps. I currently have a 22-page-long google doc filled with lore and info about almost everything I've thought of for the AU, but it's 80% in Finnish so sharing it is useless.
Man, I love writing unnecessary long posts knowing I'm the only one reading them❤️😍 though if you HAVE gotten this far, here's a little treat:
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My body refuses to draw Dale in his original outfit. I like to pretend Peri helped him change a bit (most notably taking off his goddamn shoes, though they do have some lore that I've created. GGHHRRAAA EVERYTHING HAS LORE ATTACHED TO IT GRRRR). Also Dev isn't actually grumpy, he just likes to act tough.
My art style looks probably so inconsistent❤️
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bexleyfix · 9 months ago
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Ending Our Friendship
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(Stranger Things AU)
Prom photos are posted at the end of the story!
WARNINGS AND TRIGGERS: 18+ ONLY (ABSOLUTELY NO MINORS) NSFW... Mature sexual content, suggestive situations and discussions, smut, pining, angst, fluff, swearing, smoking, drinking, mentions of drug use.
RELATIONSHIPS: Eddie Munson x Y/n ♡ friends to lovers; Gareth, Jeff, Doug, Dustin, Mike, Steve, Robin, Nancy, Jonathan, Max, Lucas, and El are side characters.
Copying, translating, or posting my work as your own is expressly forbidden. I do not give my permission. Reports with credit to me are encouraged.
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What can I say about Eddie Munson? Well... he's eccentric, erratic, rambunctious, sarcastic, definitely an attention whore... irritable, obnoxious, unruly... long story short, he's kind of a dick. A menace to society whose name, behavior, interests, and all-around heavy metal image have earned him the reputation of 'Town Freak'. But it's an erroneous label born out of prejudice and arrogance, and one he most certainly doesn't deserve.
I'm not exactly a favorite among my peers either. My thrifty style, music taste, and shy demeanor make me an easy target for the ignorant fucks who dominate the high school hierarchy, and so does my association with The Hellfire Club. And since Eddie's a close friend of mine, I'm empathetic. I don't blame him for his behavior, 'cause I know it's a defense mechanism, a way of taking the torment bestowed upon him by the oppressors of Hawkins and turning it into some whimsical public attraction to hide his internal suffering and keep people on edge.
In any case, Munson's a pest. A huge, irritating, aggravating pest... a giant, perverted, flamboyant...... oh... who the fuck am I kidding? Whatever he is... I want him. I want him like a fat kid wants cake. I want him so goddamn bad that every time I lay eyes on him, hear his melodic, raspy voice, or even catch wind of his name, I feel like I wanna hurl. Fuck butterflies, that sexy son of a bitch makes me feel like I have a full-blown professional wrestling match ensuing in my gut. But could I tell him? Of course not. He doesn't see me as relationship material. I'm just 'one of the guys', permanently embedded in the friend zone, and if he ever found out my true feelings it would have grave repercussions on the whole dynamic of our collective friendships. So, I'm forced to put on a face, pretend that I'm immune to his charm, bottle up my feelings, and let them eat away at my insides.
In the four years I've attended Hawkins High not a day has gone by where Eddie Munson hasn't invaded my every thought, innocent or otherwise. Even when our interactions were non-existent, or nothing more than a hello here and there, I haven't been able to escape that scrumptious motherfucker's temptation no matter how hard I try. Ok... so I don't actually try that hard. Fuck it... I don't try at all... but I pretend to.
Eddie makes it a point to bother anyone he damn well pleases, but I seem to be his favorite prey, and I'll be damned if he doesn't get some sick perverse pleasure from incessantly teasing me. It's normal for he and I to playfully flirt and sexually tease each other. He knows he can get a rise out of me without the added contempt he gets from everyone else, but it's a game to him, just a game, one that I secretly love to play, but recently it's gotten a lot worse, and it was becoming unbearable.
Robin Buckley's the only one who knows my true feelings. She's been my best friend since we met in band freshman year. Being a bit of a loner herself, she and I just clicked. She too can't seem to find the courage to approach her respective love interest (our bandmate, Vickie), but Robin's reasons are more justified. Even still, we both live each day in a loop of self-induced torture. Robin at least gets a weekend reprieve, but not me. Sharing the same friends as Eddie, my torture is continuous, resuming every weekday morning in first-period art class, and today was another typical Friday. At least... that's how it started.
~~~~~
"Alright, guys. Today, I'm gonna meet with you all individually to see how you're doing on your projects for the year-end show. And for those of you who've decided to procrastinate... Mr. Munson, I'm looking at you... I need to ok your idea and make sure you have ample time to complete your work, and that your subject matter is appropriate."
"Aww, come on Mrs. S. You know I always finish my work on time." Eddie flashed the teacher a debonair smile.
"You better... if you finally wanna graduate. But your last project wasn't exactly school-friendly." She smiled back in jest.
I remember that project. The perfect example of Eddie's outlandish shenanigans. He'd drawn a Boris-style rendering of himself all but slaughtering his least favorite jock dipshit. But Mrs. Schwagert's one of the coolest teachers in this school, and unlike most, she's not quick to judge her students, including Eddie. She has a way of connecting with all of us.
Eddie scoffed playfully before spouting off an equally playful retort. "That hurts, Mrs. S. I thought you of all people would understand that I took an avant-garde approach, conceptualizing the fight against tyranny in today's society."
"Well, be that as it may, Mr. Munson, your tactless display of violence toward another student won't be tolerated, so I'd like to meet with you first."
I smiled to myself as Eddie exchanged playful banter with our art teacher, gawking at him like I do most of the day until their meeting was concluded, and like clockwork, he resumed his position right up my ass.
"Hi, there!" He proclaimed in his best baritone imitation of Freddy 'Boom Boom' Washington from 'Welcome Back Kotter'.
I closed my sketch pad and looked up. "Now, the Sweathog part I get, but Washington? I don't see it."
"Ok, how 'bout Barbarino?"
He started shimmying back and forth in proper Barbarino fashion and I burst into laughter.
"Um... the hair, maybe, but you're not exactly a chick magnet. You're more of a mashup between Epstein and Horshack. Quick-witted, but super annoying."
"Fair enough." He plopped into the open seat next to me. "So... does that make you Hotsy Totsy, my little... Bunny?"
Oh yeah... every day Eddie makes it a point to devise a new moniker for me that starts with the next sequential letter of the alphabet. Today we were back to B.
"Not quite. I don't have a kid or moonlight as a stripper." I gave him a cheeky smile.
"You sure about that? You look like you belong on a street corner in that outfit."
I scoffed. "It's not that bad."
I looked down at my clothes. Ok, the v-neck crop top and fish nets, sure, but my skirt covered my waist and it wasn't that short. Suddenly feeling self-conscious I wrapped my sweater around myself, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Whatever you say. I'm certainly not complaining."
He looked me up and down with a Cheshire grin, and I rolled my eyes.
"Don't you have someone else you can pester? I'm busy."
"Doing what? More doodles that you refuse to share with me? What do you draw in there anyway? Is it your secret crush? Ooo! Is it me?"
He could not be more spot on. My sketch pad was filled with doodles of his mouthwatering, metalhead physique, as well as some more risqué renderings that I may or may not imagine him doing to me like... all the time. So of course, I lied.
"You wish, Munson."
"Oh, I do, Bunny. But if it's not me, then who is it? That Ian Astbury guy, or uh... what's his face... that wrestler? The one who looks like a roided up Tom Selek, um..." he snapped his fingers in recognition, "oh, Scott Hall? Wait!... It's Harrington isn't it? I know you two are chummy, and I wouldn't blame you. He's a dreamy hunk of hairy beast, but I'd have no problem being your dirty little sidepiece."
Eddie cocked his head to the side, flashed me a suave smile, and wiggled his eyebrows. He was such a dork, but he was right... about the chummy part anyway. Steve Harrington is my friend, which is a fucking miracle in its own right seeing that before he and Robin started working together, I never got a second glance from the 'King' of Hawkins High, but it turns out he's a gentle soul, and not the egotistical, jock douche we thought he was. But Robin puts it best, our friendship with Steve is platonic with a capital P.
"Hmm, as tempting as that sounds... I think I'll pass."
"Ok, suit yourself. Gareth would kill me if I tried to lay a hand on you anyway. Sisters are off limits."
I wasn't actually Gareth's sister, but I've lived next door to him since we were kids, and our families are super close. I do love that dumbass like a brother, but like most brothers, he's an annoying shit with a big mouth, so he has no idea how I feel about Eddie.
"Speaking of your lovable, surrogate little brother, you comin' to watch us practice tonight?"
"I wouldn't exactly call what you guys do, practice. All you do is fuck around and rip on each other the whole time."
"True, but you keep us in check, so you have to come over."
"Oh, I have to, huh? What if I don't feel like it?"
"Well, then I'll be forced to wait 'til Tuesday to waste my sexual prowess on girls who won't give me the time of day, resulting in me crying myself to sleep, again."
He popped out his bottom lip and gave me puppy dog eyes. Goddammit!
"Uh-huh. And... why do you suppose that is?"
"Well, probably because they don't know how to handle my natural charisma and raw animal magnetism. If they knew what they were missing, they'd be all over me."
"Is that right?" I leaned toward him provocatively, making sure to flaunt my cleavage. "And uh, what exactly are they missing?"
He was visibly frazzled, just how I wanted him. He swallowed hard, trying to make eye contact but unable to peel his gaze from my tits.
"Um... let's just say, that when it comes to the utmost in sexual pleasure... I'm your guy."
"Mmm... that good, are ya?"
"Oh, Bunny. I'm first-rate."
"And you think I... would be able to handle you?"
"Maybe..." He swallowed again. "There's only one way to know for sure."
"Is that so?" I looked him over seductively. "Sounds like that'd be one hell of a time."
"You have no idea."
I nodded slowly and smiled, our faces separated by mere inches.
"I suppose I don't." I stared at his lips, watching him squirm uncomfortably in his chair, and I went in for the kill. "Well, Mr. Fantastic, how could I refuse an offer like that?"
I leaned closer as if going in for a kiss and SMACKED him square in the forehead.
"OW, SHIT! SON OF A..."
I sat back in my chair as he pressed the butt of his hand to his forehead.
"I've gotta hand it to ya, Munson, I didn't think your persistence could be any more annoying, but you proved me wrong."
"Ok, I get it. No sexy time from Bunny. Way to crush my ego."
"I thought you'd be used to it by now. You can keep laying it on as thick as you want. I'm not sleeping with you."
"Y/l/n! I'll meet with you now. Get back to work, Mr. Munson."
"Yes, ma'am!" Eddie gave Mrs. S. a salute.
"Saved by scholastic decree. Catch you on the flip side, Fabio."
I smiled slyly, grabbed my sketchbook, and made my way to Mrs. S's desk as Eddie yelled after me.
"Let me know if you change your mind."
"I won't."
Without turning around I gave him the finger. I caught the faint sound of his chuckle and smiled to myself.
~~~~~
With my Walkman blaring, I navigated my way toward the cafeteria through the crowded hallways of Hawkins High, trying not to get knocked around like a pinball when Robin came running up to me in true motormouth fashion.
"Hey-gotta skip lunch to finish my history assignment-try to find a date for prom-meet up with you later-love you-bye!"
And like that, she disappeared into the sea of students before I could get a word in. This meant I'd have to sit with the Hellfire Club today, so I took a detour and headed to their table.
"What's the haps, nerds? Mind if I sit?"
I got lazy waves from the older boys, but Dustin and Mike immediately perked up and flashed me bashful smiles and enthusiastic waves, which I returned in kind.
"I've got a seat for you right here."
Eddie patted his lap. I smiled seductively, walked toward him, and squatted as if about to sit. The look on his face was priceless, but just before my ass made contact with his lap, I straightened up and crushed his dreams.
"Ooo... fat chance, fucker. Scoot over bro."
I nudged Gareth, plopping down in the seat between him and Eddie.
"Well, played, Bunny."
"Bunny? Are you still playing that stupid letter game?" Gareth asked.
"Unfortunately."
"You know you love it."
I flashed Eddie an unamused smile and started digging into my lunch bag.
"No Buckley today?" Gareth asked receiving a shake of my head as confirmation. "Hey, that girl Becky from band asked me to Prom."
I had a mouth full of food. "Mm, I like her. She's super sweet."
"Prom? You're actually gonna attend that monstrosity?"
"Why wouldn't I? Becky's hot. Just 'cause no one will go with you doesn't mean I have to sit at home with my thumb up my ass."
"Oh, sweet burn."
Mike gave Gareth a high five, and I couldn't hold back a laugh at Eddie's expense.
"Wheeler, it's not wise to upset your Dungeon Master."
Eddie flashed Mike an evil grin and Mike's face fell. He quickly turned his attention back to Gareth.
"El and I are going too. Do you guys wanna ride with us? We're getting a limo."
"Thanks, man, but we're hitching a ride with Buckley, Harrington, and Y/n."
"You're going too?"
Eddie looked at me somewhat perplexed.
"Mm-hm." I continued to eat nonchalantly, watching Eddie laugh in disbelief.
"With who?"
I furrowed my brow. Was that a hint of jealousy in his tone? Nah, couldn't be.
"Myself... and..." I waved my finger in a circle around the table to indicate everyone sitting there.
"You're all going?"
"Yes, killjoy. Nothing is stopping you from coming with us. It's a Masquerade theme this year. It'll be fun."
"Fun?! Bunny, I have no desire to attend the masquerade of forced conformity." He smiled smugly.
"Well, we do. So shut your face."
Still sensing the piercing glare of a pair of deep brown eyes, I lifted my head slowly to see Eddie smiling at me, elbow on the table and chin in hand.
"Yes?" I droned.
"Whatcha listenin' to?"
"Music," I retorted, jerking back when Eddie tried to steal my headphones.
"Why so secretive? Isn't she secretive?" Eddie addressed the younger boys of the group.
"Eddie, she probably just wants to eat her lunch in peace," Dustin answered.
"Pshh, then she's at the wrong table," Mike joked.
I shot them a friendly wink.
"Who's side are you guys on? You gotta crush on her or something? Well, you can both stop kissing her ass 'cause she's too old for you."
"I don't. I have the sweetest girlfriend in the world, and she's a genius."
"She's not very smart if she's dating you."
"Shut up, Jeff." Dustin threw a carrot at Jeff and Eddie chucked a pretzel at Dustin and Mike.
"Jesus, you guys are such dicks. Stop tormenting them. Dusty, is Susie coming?"
"I wish. Her dad'll never let that happen. I'm goin' stag... again."
"Don't worry, I'll save you a dance." He smiled bashfully.
"Jesus, this is torment. I'm surprised you're not going with Harrington." Eddie addressed me before turning to Dustin. "You know she draws erotic pictures of him in her sketchbook, right?"
"What?!" The whole table exclaimed.
"I do not." I shoved the side of Eddie's head.
"Do you really?"
"Of course not, Dusty. Eddie just refuses to let go of his nonconformist pride and have a little fun, so he's taking his frustration out on me. You know Steve and I are JUST FRIENDS!" I emphasized, staring daggers at Eddie before turning back to my food.
"Then show me the sketchbook."
"Fuck off, Munson... hey, what the..." Before I could react Eddie swiped my headphones and put them on. "Give 'em back, asshole!"
"Goddamn! This is some heavy shit. What is this?"
"It's your face meeting my fist if you don't give 'em back."
He held me at arm's length as I tried, and failed, to reclaim my headphones, but I soon gave up, crossing my arms over my chest in a huff.
"Ok, fine! It's 'The Raging Wrath of the Easter Bunny'."
"Hahaha! WHAT?"
"It's a demo. The band's called Mr. Bungle. They're from Eureka."
"Well, isn't that fortuitous, 'cause my little Bunny is definitely raging and wrathful today."
He screwed up his face, mocking me. I stuck my tongue out at him.
"Where did you get this?"
"I'm a tape trader, remember?"
"No. I'd definitely remember you telling me something like that."
"Well, maybe if you weren't so busy running your mouth all the time, you'd actually hear what other people have to say."
"This... this is fuckin' brutal. It's like, black metal meets speed."
Eddie was in his own little world. I threw my hands up in disbelief and shook my head.
"See. Didn't hear a damn thing I just said."
"You gotta make me a copy of this."
"You know, you're awfully demanding today."
He shot me a wink and handed over my headphones. I swiped them out of his hand giving him the evil eye.
"I figured you'd be listening to that goth or glam bullshit. What other cool stuff you got?"
"I've got a lotta cool shit. I got this in my most recent haul along with a demo from Guns 'N' Roses, and one from Faster Pussycat. But they're both glam bullshit," I emphasized sarcastically.
"Glam. Gay L.A. music, you mean."
"Oh, whatever, asshole. Axel Rose has some killer pipes. And Kelly Nickels, the bassist from Faster Pussycat... total YUM! He was actually in the running to be the bassist for W.A.S.P. Bet you didn't know that, did ya? UGHH! I swear, what I would give to be the center of a Blackie Lawless and Kelly Nickels sandwich." I scanned the horrified faces at the table and froze. "Um... sorry... I forgot I'm not sitting with Robin." I took a huge chug of my drink and averted my gaze, dying of embarrassment.
"Isn't Kelly Nickels that guy you said looks like Munson?"
I choked on my beverage, hacking, and coughing, leaving no room for subtlety. Stealing a glance at Eddie I saw his smug grin. I had to think fast.
"Uh, I did not say that, Gareth."
"I'm pretty sure you did."
"Well, you're wrong." I smacked his arm, wanting to crawl into a deep dark hole and die.
"Uh-huh... I knew it. You do wanna fuck me."
"Ugg! Munson, get over yourself." I stood up and collected my shit.
"Aw, come on. Where you goin'?"
"I've lost my appetite." I spat at Eddie. "Catch you later, losers." I turned to Dustin and Mike. "Not you two. You guys will always be my little cuties."
I scrunched my nose, kissed Dustin's head, and mussed Mike's hair, smiling at their giddy expressions, then I waved at Jeff and Doug, stuck my tongue out at Gareth, gave Eddie the finger, and left. I could still hear him laughing as I walked away.
Eddie's eyes followed you as you walked away. "Dude, you're gonna bore a hole in her back if you stare at her any harder."
"Hmph, she totally wants me," Eddie said smugly to no one in particular.
"Munson, just ask her out already and put us all out of our misery."
"That would negate the sister rule, Gareth."
"She's not my sister, so if you wanna give it a shot, be my guest. But you gotta stop comin' at her guns blazing, or she's gonna kick your ass."
"Now that I'd love to see."
"Jeff, if I want your opinion, I'll beat it outta you."
"Whatever, Munson, but Gareth's right. If this is your idea of playing it cool, it's not working. You need to stop being so rash... with all of us. She sees right through it, and it looks like it's starting to get to her."
Eddie thought about it for a moment. Maybe they're right. He loved his little sheep, and picking on you was his favorite pastime, but he was being an inconsiderate ass.
You've consumed Eddie's thoughts since the day Corroded Coffin started practicing at Gareth's house. He knew who you were. Being a year older than Gareth you'd already attended Hawkins High for a year, but you never actually spoke to one another until that fateful day in the fall of '83. You heard the commotion in the garage and decided to stroll over. That's when you two were formally introduced, and you permanently imprinted on his mind and his heart. It was the first day of the rest of his life, but you weren't yet 16, and he'd just turned 18 and he was not gonna open that can of worms. It didn't stop him from playfully pestering you every day. And when you turned 18 a few months back he bumped it up a notch, but lately, he's noticed that you've been on edge and not as receptive to his teasing. Was it losing its luster for you? Were you genuinely annoyed? He couldn't let that happen. You were too important to him, but there was only one way to find out, and he knew exactly where you'd be.
~~~~~
I entered the clearing in the woods and hopped onto the picnic table, hoping to spare myself any more embarrassment or harassment by finishing a cigarette before Eddie showed up.
I wasn't pissed at him, just pissy in general. He's been making it so much harder to mask my feelings and my sexual frustration with blatant denial, and I was starting to lash out, which made me feel incredibly guilty. I could try asking him to stop, but then he'd know something was up, so suffer I will. But it was evident as Eddie came strolling into the clearing that luck was not on my side today.
"Ah, shit... can't I have a moment's peace?"
"You're not escaping my sexy mug that easily, Bunny."
I smiled sarcastically, arms draped lazily over my knees. I watched Eddie park his ass next to me, pull a soft pack of Camels from his vest pocket, shake one out, and trap it between his lips. (Jesus, why when it comes to this man does my mind turn something so innocent into filth?) He flicked his Zippo shut and took a drag. Resting his forearms on his knees and clasping his hands together, he studied my face.
"What, do I have something in my teeth?" I started rubbing them with my finger.
"No."
"Then why are you staring at me?"
"'Cause you're sexy." He smiled slyly, taking another drag.
I exhaled heavily, leaning my forehead on my palms, visibly irritated.
"Ok, ok. I'll stop. I was actually wondering what you're doing for Schwag's class."
I whipped my head around, confusion written all over my face. Was I just transported into a parallel universe? Not only did Eddie stop teasing me on his own accord, but he's making small talk.
"What?"
"What are you doing for Schwagert's class?"
He flashed me a sweet smile, which is so unlike him. It was strange but refreshing, and it was stirring something inside me. I suddenly felt nervous, and uneasy... and kinda horny.
"Hey, you ok? You look like you're having some kinda... internal struggle. I promise I won't laugh if that's what you're worried about. I'm genuinely curious."
I was staring at him like he had three heads.
"Um, no... I um... I'm gonna do a portrait series."
"Self-portraits?"
"No, I hate self-portraits. I was actually considering drawing you if you wanna sit for me... and if you can keep your trap shut for a few hours."
His face fell. "You... you wanna draw me?"
"Yeah. Emphasis on the 'shut trap'." I took a drag from my cigarette as an embarrassing thought occurred to me, followed by more word vomit. "I mean, n-not like nude or anything." His smug ass perked right back up.
"Well, I'm not opposed," he said looking rather assuming.
"Dude, seriously."
He just kept laughing. "Ok, ok... but why me?"
"I don't know. You just have this... look." My eyes finally met his.
"I have a look?"
"Mm-hm."
I looked away sucking on my cigarette. Eddie was seemingly deep in thought and started playing with his rings.
"Um... what kinda look?"
"Not a bad look."
His head snapped up and he smiled mischievously.
"Really?"
I rolled my eyes. "Slow your roll, Munson... but yes. Your look, it's... well, it's distinctive and commanding. Good or bad, you can't deny that you have this... charisma... that makes you impossible to ignore. I wanna capture that." I was expecting some perverted retort, but it never came.
"Well, uh... that's... extremely flattering. I um... I didn't realize you saw me that way."
I couldn't read his expression, but the wrestlers in my stomach were at it again, powerbomb after powerbomb, and I felt the need to cover my tracks.
"I do. I mean, n-not like in that way. I can ignore you if I want to. You don't make it easy... b-but I can..." I rested my elbows on my knees, held my fingertips to my forehead, and sighed. "You just... your look is particular, that's all I'm saying." Shit, this was so embarrassing.
"Uh... o-kay?"
"So... will you do it?" I still couldn't look up.
"Absolutely! Just tell me when and where."
My head shot up. "Wow, um... ok, great... w-we could do it tonight if you want?"
I screwed up my face, immediately wanting to shove my foot in my mouth.
"Bunny, we can do it on this goddamn table, right here right now." He wiggled his eyebrows.
"Jesus, I set myself up for that one. You know I didn't mean it like that."
He was giggling like an idiot. "Sorry, I couldn't pass up that opportunity."
Sorry? He never apologizes for his behavior.
"Ok, what the hell is up with you?"
"Whatta you mean?"
"I mean, you're being relatively polite, and making small talk. It's not like you. Did we transport to Bizarro World or something?"
He chuckled. "Just call me Eidde." He smiled bashfully. "I don't know. Maybe I'm trying to turn over a new leaf."
"Ok?" I shot him a sideways glance, but he just sat there, smoking his cigarette, smiling. "Well, we can start tonight at Gareth's." He nodded in agreement. "So what're you gonna do? Did you think of more ingenious ways to flaunt your hatred for Carver?"
He let out a huge belly laugh. "Um, no... Mrs. S. shot down my idea for a sequel. I'm probably gonna do an installation so I can incorporate my music."
"Oh! I like that idea. It's a shame about the sequel though. I was impressed with the original, but I'm biased. Carver's a douche with a capital bag."
We chuckled staring at each other for a moment.
"Yeah, well, it's nice to know someone appreciates my artistic talent."
Eddie placed his hand on my knee and gave it a little squeeze, but instead of shirking it off, I patted it, but he pulled away rather quickly, looking like he didn't know what he should do with his hand.
"So, you're really agreeing to help me?"
"Yep."
"Just like that? No... proposition or outrageous demands in return?"
"Well, since you suggested it..." His smile was wicked.
"Jesus, why the hell do I keep opening my big mouth?"
His grin widened. "Since your big mouth is already open, how 'bout a big sloppy blowjob... or I'll settle for a big wet kiss... or... we can cut right to the chase and finally fuck." He nudged my shoulder.
"Jesus, you're hopeless. Is that all? Do you want my first born too?" (Fuck! I did it again!)
"Well, I can cum inside you when we're fuckin'."
I shoved him so hard, I knocked his giggling ass off the table, but I welcomed the distraction of his laughing fit because the thought of him cumming inside me made my cheeks flush and my thighs clench involuntarily. If spontaneous combustion is truly a thing, consider me Spinal Tap drummer number seven. Luckily the position in which he fell and the time it took him to climb back onto the table was enough for me to collect myself.
"You're a fucking pervert."
"I know, I can't help it."
"Well, try." He nodded. "Why don't you agree to come to prom with all of us instead?"
"Um... that doesn't exactly benefit me. So, no... it has to be option 1, 2, or 3."
"Ok, then I guess I'll pick option 4, none of the above."
"Then you can't draw me."
His expression was serious. I didn't know how to react until he snickered and cracked a smile before erupting into full-on laughter. I smacked him upside the head and he yelped.
"You're such a dick, Munson."
He was still rolling, trying to catch his breath. "Ha! Uh ha, hmm... ok, fine, you can still draw me, but prom? That's really not my thing."
"You're missin' out."
"On what? Shitty music and jock scrutiny? No thanks. But I do wanna ask you something."
We locked eyes. His expression was foreign. He's never looked at me like this before. It was like... adoration mixed with worry. Was he nervous? He looked nervous. Or was I nervous?
"Does um... does my behavior bother you?"
I looked at him quizzically. Why would he care what I thought?
"Um... no. I mean, you definitely know how to push my buttons... and sometimes I just wanna strangle you... but you're one of my best friends. I understand your humor. But you do need to lay off the boys."
He looked only partially relieved. "Fair enough. I just... well, you're a cool girl... and I really enjoy our banter, but you seem a little on edge lately, so I just wanted to make sure. I've never had a female friend as accepting as you, so I don't wanna push you away."
I stared at him in shock, like maybe his three heads would sprout horns. He seemed genuinely worried about upsetting me.
"Ok, is this like, a reverse invasion of the body snatchers or something? Who are you?"
We both laughed. His smile was huge, and so fucking gorgeous. Then I saw it. The subtle movement of his eyes falling to my lips. Did I just see that, or did I imagine it? I felt lightheaded and my heart was pounding as he slid closer, smiling as he scanned my face. (Headlock, shoot off, drop down, leapfrog, hip toss, cover, and 1... 2... 3... wrestler pinned... insert pyro explosion here)
I think I stopped breathing, and then... (Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrringggggggg) Our heads swiveled toward the school. Ugg! That fucking bell. We turned our attention back to each other. Eddie let out a heavy breath, suddenly bashful, and awkwardly backed away, and I finally took a breath.
"Um... we... we should probably..."
"Yeah, um... I'll... I'll walk you back."
~~~~~
We walked through the hall in silence, still smiling, occasionally stealing glances at each other. I had no idea how to process what just happened. What did just happen? Was it even anything? I looked at Eddie. His smile was so bashful, almost innocent. It was so fucking CUTE I wanted to hug him, squeeze him, and call him George.
That's it... we were definitely in Bizarro World.
~~~~~
Sitting on the couch in Gareth's garage, my pencil flowed over the pages of my sketchbook with ease. Eddie was my fucking muse. It's amazing what I can accomplish when I'm drawing a willing participant. But when 'practice' was over, I had the misfortune of being a part of the most fucked up conversation in the history of conversations.
"Is that the latest Hustler? Ooo, toss that over here." Eddie wasted no time flipping through the pages.
"Jesus, you guys have a one-track mind."
"That's the pot calling the kettle black. I know for a fact you like to read those cheesy smut books."
I threw an empty beer can at Gareth. "Way to sell me out, asshole."
"Smut books, huh? A bit of a dirty bird aren't ya, Bunny?"
"This coming from the man who has a pile of nudie mags under his bed. And don't give me that 'I read the articles' excuse."
"I do read the articles."
"I'm not talking about letters to Penthouse." I smiled cheekily.
"She's got you there, Munson," Gareth said.
"Ok, my deviance is a surprise to no one, but this little dirty bird seems to be hiding more than just doodles. So, Bunny... what're your other guilty pleasures?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows.
I flashed him an irritated look. "Eddie, if you think I'm gonna tell you that you're outta your goddamn mind."
"Awww... come on. Don't be a prude."
Gareth, Jeff, and Doug turned their attention to Eddie, probably expecting me to kick his ass. I turned to look at him and sighed. He wasn't gonna let this go, so I figured I'd have a little fun with him.
"Alright... you really wanna know?"
Sitting on the edge of the couch, nodding like an idiot, a stupid grin spread across his face, Eddie anxiously awaited my reply.
"I wanna know."
"Me too."
Jeff and Doug, my peanut gallery.
"I'm not sure I do."
"SHHH! Shut up, Gareth. No one cares what you think."
Eddie was too preoccupied to notice Gareth giving him the finger.
"Ok... fine. If you really wanna know, I'll tell you."
Eddie took a sip of his beer. I could see the excitement in his eyes, so I exhaled heavily.
"Yes, I like smut novels. I draw a lot of erotic pictures, and I too read Letters to Penthouse. I also enjoy watching porn."
All four of them were frozen in place, Eddie in mid-swig and the other three with their jaws on the floor. Eddie swallowed hard before speaking.
"Like, what kinda porn?" He asked sheepishly.
All four boys were waiting impatiently with bated breath.
"Ok, um... well, the softcore, romantic stuff is my favorite, but I do enjoy a bit of hardcore." I gauged Eddie's reaction. He was mesmerized, eyes glued to my face as he took another sip of his beer. "I occasionally enjoy some girl-on-girl. Threesomes are so hot. Two girls and one guy, one girl and two guys, it doesn't matter. Like I said, I'm down for a Blackie/Kelly sandwich. Oh, and voyeurism. I love the thought of watching people fuck while I touch myself... really gets me goin'."
Eddie spit out a mouthful of beer and the others were all in a daze, mouths agape, processing everything I just said, but it was Eddie who broke the silence.
"And... how exactly did you pick up these little... hobbies?"
"Dude, I'm a shy, introvert, outcast... we're as freaky as they come."
"It's always the quiet ones," Doug said in disbelief.
"Mm-hm. Well... now that the cat's outta the bag, I have a date with my VCR and a naughty VHS. Later, losers."
(Suck it, Munson!) I gave a triumphant smile, winked at Eddie, turned on my heels, and headed to my garage making sure to shake my hips as I left.
Eddie sat staring at the ground. "I don't know about you guys, but I need a cold shower after that one."
"Me, too."
"Me three."
Eddie looked at his friends, who were all still in shock. "Do... do you think she's serious?"
He jumped off the couch and bolted after you.
"Hey, Munson, wait... MUNSON!" Gareth sprinted after Eddie and grabbed his arm before he could make it to your house. "Dude! Seriously? She was just fucking with you."
Eddie bowed his head in defeat and followed Gareth back to his garage. He sat down and resumed staring at the ground adjusting his crotch uncomfortably as Jeff and Doug grabbed their gear.
"You guys outta here?" Gareth asked.
"Yep. We'll see you tomorrow."
They waved goodbye and made their way to Jeff's car. Gareth turned his attention to Eddie, noticing his frustration.
"Munson, just fuckin' tell her."
Eddie threw his head back against the couch and rubbed his hands over his face, groaning.
"Come on, Gareth. You know I can't."
"Why?"
"'Cause we've got a good thing going. If I confess my love and she doesn't feel the same I'll lose her forever, or at the very least things'll just be incredibly awkward. But I can't stop fucking thinking about her." Eddie looked toward your house. "You know her better than I do. What should I do?"
"Ok, here's what I do know. If she's willing to take your shit... there's gotta be somethin' else there. No one's crazy enough to tolerate your dumb ass unless they want to, but if she does have feelings for you, she'll never make the first move, so I think you should approach her. I also know that she was lying at lunch. She can deny it all she wants but she really does think you look like that Kelly Nickels guy. That's gotta count for something."
Eddie smiled to himself. "Maybe."
"Well, either you tell her, or I will, 'cause all this pining shit... it's really fucking irritating. And swallow your pride, man. Ask her to prom. You know you'll have fun with her. Go ask her now. She's probably sitting in her garage."
Eddie let out a huge sigh. "Alright, man, but the whole feelings thing... let me test the water... if she seems receptive then I'll spill my guts."
"Good luck, dude."
Eddie gave Gareth a bro handshake, grabbed a couple of beers, and shuffled toward your garage. When he got close enough he heard you talking, probably on the phone. He knew he shouldn't listen but the devil on his shoulder convinced him otherwise, so he leaned against the corner of your garage just out of sight.
~~~~~
"Oh, come on, Robin. He was asking for it."
"Yes but when you do that it only riles him up more."
"Him? What about me? The flirting and teasing have only gotten worse. I can't fucking take it anymore."
"Exactly. You know how he is. If you keep egging him on you're only making things worse for you. Just tell him how you feel."
"Robin... you know I can't do that."
"Why not?"
"Because... he's my friend."
"And?"
"And... if he rejects me... things'll be super awkward. And if he still wants to be my friend I'll be forced to suppress my feelings just to maintain some sort of normalcy around him, and I'll be no better off."
"Did you at least ask him to the dance?"
"Not exactly. I suggested he come with all of us, but you know how he is. He's too proud to 'give in to the masquerade of forced conformity'." I said in my best Eddie voice.
"Well, I don't know what to tell you. Just keep dropping hints. Maybe he'll get the message."
"I hope so. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. I want to be with him so fucking bad, but I don't wanna lose him."
"I understand, trust me I do."
"I know. Well, I'm gonna go watch my movie, take my mind off shit. Tell Steve I said hi."
"Hey, Dingus! Y/n says hi! He's waving at you."
"Nice."
"Well, we love you girly."
"Love you guys too."
I hung up the phone and stared at my open sketch pad, utterly lost in Eddie's image.
Eddie's eyes were wide with shock. He could only hear your side of the conversation, but he had no doubt who you were talking about. Jesus H. Christ! You have feelings... for him. You pretend you don't but you do! This... this changes everything! So why was this dread still lingering in his chest? Nerves maybe? He had to say something, but he didn't want to come on too strong. Act casual... yeah. That's what he'll do... just... act casual. After silently syking himself up he took a few deep breaths and decided to make his move.
"BOO!"
"JESUS CHRIST!" I jumped out of my skin, nearly falling off of my stool. "You think you're funny, asshole?"
Eddie was doubled over with laughter as I sat there clutching my chest.
"Hahahahaha! Ohhhh, no... I think I'm adorable."
"Ugg! I hate you so much, Munson."
"Awww, come on now. You know that's not true. May I come in?"
I released a heavy sigh. "Sure... whatever."
"Here, a peace offering."
He handed me a beer.
"Thanks."
We sat in silence for a moment as he checked out all the drawings hanging above my desk.
"Jesus, you're amazing. I love your style. The way you see the world, it's just... incredible."
"Thanks." I smiled bashfully.
He motioned to my open sketch pad.
"May I?"
"Sure." Ahhhhhhh! His smile makes my fucking insides liquefy.
"Oh, Bunny... these are fantastic! I've never looked so good." He flashed a cheeky smile and flipped to the front of the book.
"Nice try. You won't find anything. This sketchbook is strictly for school projects."
He let out a breathy laugh. "You caught me. I wish you'd show me your personal drawings. You're so passionate about your work. Like I am with my music."
"Maybe someday, Munson." I flashed him a sweet smile.
"Um, you mind if I turn on some tunes?"
"No, go ahead."
He started fiddling with the record player.
"Looks like your old man was listening to Clapton. I'll just leave that on."
"Works for me."
He positioned the record player needle and shuffled back to his chair.
"So... what's on your agenda for this evening... besides hardcore porn... and me?"
He smiled wickedly, pulled his smokes from his vest pocket, and went through his routine.
"Not fucking you, Munson."
I loved hearing him laugh, or talk... or move... or fucking breathe. Whatever the hell he was doing... I loved it.
"So, do you actually watch all that stuff, or were you just fuckin' with me?"
"Uh..." I eyeballed him hesitantly, but his expression was calm, and not flirtatious, so I gave him this one. "Yeah... I do."
He raised his brow and exhaled a cloud of smoke. "Well... that's um... that's hot. I was just gonna head home, get high, and play guitar, but now... I think I'm gonna have to rub one out. Care to turn it into phone sex? Preferably while you're still watching porn?"
(JESUS CHRIST! I know what I'm drawing tonight) I rolled my eyes. "Dude! What is with you? You've been so lewd lately. Like, more than usual." He smiled cheekily and stared at me. "No! No phone sex, no fucking, just... no!"
His whole body shook with laughter. "Ok, then I guess I'm goin' solo. So, if you're not gonna watch porn, what are you gonna do?"
I shook my head. "I'm gonna watch 'Help'."
"Can't say I've seen it."
"Really? It's a super corny Beatles movie."
"Oh, I know what it is, I just haven't seen it. Is it good?"
"I love it. It's one of my favorites. I watch it with my mom all the time."
"Speaking of the lovely Mrs. Y/l/n, where are your folks?"
"They're visiting my grandma this weekend."
"Well, that's a shame. I'll just have to schmooze your mom next time. So... was tonight's session enough to do your project, or do you need me to sit for you again?"
(Ok, what the fuck?) "Alright dude, what's going on? You're doing it again."
"What?"
"Oh, come on. For the past few months, you've been... I don't know... a lot more perverted, but today you're trying to incorporate small talk and some semblance of courtesy. So what's going on?"
"I don't know. Maybe I want you to see a different side of me, so I'm talking about things that aren't strictly sex oriented."
"Yeah, but why?"
"Well... maybe I like you."
"HA! Hyeah, right. If you don't wanna tell me the real reason, just say so. You don't need to make shit up."
"Who says I'm making shit up?"
I tried to play it cool, not letting on that the instant those words left his lips Hulk Hogan leg dropped King Kong Bundy.
"Uh... I am."
"Why? Is it so hard to believe that I could see you as more than just a friend?"
I scoffed. "Yeah, a fuck buddy, maybe."
Jesus, it felt like an Alien was about to punch through my chest. I reached for my smokes and lit up trying to thwart my anxiety.
Eddie nodded solemnly, but when 'Wonderful Tonight' started to play, he set down his beer and held out his hand.
"Wanna dance?"
I must've looked like a deer in headlights.
"What?"
"Come on... dance with me."
I snuffed out my cigarette looking at him hesitantly. He grabbed my hands and pulled me up, threw my arms around his neck, wrapped his around my waist, and pulled me close. He started swaying us back and forth, his head nestled next to mine, but when the chorus hit I got ballsy. Knowing this wasn't bound to last, I decided to live in the moment. I leaned my head on his shoulder, squeezed my arms tighter, closed my eyes, and started playing with his hair, but to my shock and delight, he tightened his grip around my waist and leaned his head against mine, grazing my back with his fingertips. We embraced silently for several minutes, and all I could think was that I could die happy at this very moment... and then he had to go and fucking ruin it.
"Go to prom with me?"
His voice was so faint I wasn't sure I heard him correctly. I lifted my head, our eyes lingering on each other's faces, and I scowled, about to lose my shit.
"What? Ok, now I know you're joking."
"I'm not joking."
"Eddie, stop it. This isn't funny."
I broke away and went to shut off the record player, ready to scream. We just held each other so fucking tight, and there was something about the way he touched me. Probably just wishful thinking, but it seemed like we had a moment.
"Al-alright fine. Don't believe me."
"Why should I when you've been shitting on the idea all day?"
He was silent. I slumped my shoulders, released a sigh, and faced him. "Ok, fine, don't answer me. I'm gonna go watch my movie."
Eddie was chewing on his thumbnail, his other hand in his pocket, and he was staring at the ground nodding. He actually looked disappointed, and I had to admit, I felt kinda guilty. I didn't want him to leave, but this charade had to stop.
"Hey, um... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap. You don't have to go. I just... I want the nonsense to stop, ok? If you want you can watch 'Help' with me."
His head shot up so fast I thought he'd have whiplash.
"Um, yeah, ok. Your parents won't mind?"
"No, they know you. It's not like we're fuckin' or anything."
"Well..."
"DON'T... say it."
Signature Munson, never missing a beat. Jesus, my emotions were bouncing back and forth like a game of Pong.
~~~~~
We were on the couch in my basement, which also doubled as my bedroom. It was a pretty sweet setup if I say so myself.
"You're right. This is a really weird movie. Not as trippy as 'Tommy', but still pretty bad."
He pulled his arms up to shield himself from my slap but was unsuccessful.
"Oh, shut up. It's awesome and you know it. And so is 'Tommy'."
"No, you're right. I do like 'Tommy'. Ann Margaret's hot." His smile was so goofy.
"So is Roger Daltrey," I smirked. "Ooo, I love this part. Paul using the girl as a guitar."
"Ooo, that looks like fun. Come 'ere."
"What?" He reached for my arm and pulled me across the couch. "What... what're you...? Hey! Hahaha!"
"Come on, sit on my lap. Put your hand on your hip, hold the other arm out... there we go. Now... I play."
I was dying of laughter as Eddie played my arms like a guitar and started singing along to 'Another Girl'.
🎶For I have got, another girl
Another girl who will love me till the end
Through thick and thin, she will always be my friend
I don't wanna say that I've been unhappy with you
But as from today, well, I've seen somebody that's new
I ain't no fool and I don't take what I don't want
For I have got, another girl🎶
Eddie stopped playing, wrapped his arms around me, and pulled my giggling ass against his chest, continuing to rock me in time with the music, only this time, when the song ended, I stayed put.
"I thought you didn't like The Beatles."
"I never said that. I just said I never saw this movie, but my mom used to listen to them too."
I smiled, taking the opportunity to rest my head back against his shoulder and wrap my arms around his. I felt his hair tickle my neck, so I looked up and found him smiling at me. Our faces were so fucking close. I smiled back and he leaned down and kissed my cheek.
"W-what was that for?"
"Just felt like it. I'm having a good time."
"M-me too."
There was that look again. The same one from this afternoon at the picnic table. That look of adoration, but this time with a little something extra. And there was no bell. Nothing to break the trance. I couldn't look away as he scanned my face and brushed some stray hair behind my ear, his hand now resting on my cheek. A flash of eyes to lips, and then...
NOTHING!
He returned his arm to my waist and turned back to the TV.
(Mother... Shhhh... Jesu... what the... oh... SON OF A BITCH!!!) I couldn't even think a coherent sentence, so I turned my attention back to the movie. I must've been squirming too much because Eddie pulled my legs across his lap, which was a way more comfortable position, and I allowed myself to cuddle into his chest. I was so tired I should've passed out, but I couldn't shut off my brain.
"I love this song so much."
I started singing along with John Lennon to 'You've Got to Hide Your Love Away'. Eddie joined in, and we smiled at each other as we sang, and again he rocked me to the music.
🎶How can I even try?
I can never win
Hearing them, seeing them
In the state I'm in
How could she say to me
"Love will find a way"?
Gather 'round, all you clowns
Let me hear you say
Hey, you've got to hide your love away
Hey, you've got to hide your love away🎶
We couldn't peel our eyes off each other.
"You're voice is beautiful."
"Thanks," I whispered.
We stared a few moments longer before my nerves got the better of me, and I returned my head to his chest.
"You know, this whole album is like... a metaphor for our entire relationship."
What? Did he really mean that? Most of the songs were about want, need, and... love. I didn't know how to respond, so I didn't. I just buried myself deeper into his chest in reply, and again his arms tightened around me.
By the time the movie was over I could no longer keep my eyes open. The warmth of his body and his musky scent were so comforting.
"Hey, Bunny... you sleepy? You want me to leave?"
Without opening my eyes I shook my head, clutched onto his shirt, and whispered, "No... please don't go."
I have no idea where my newfound boldness was coming from, but Eddie didn't protest. Instead, he enveloped me in his arms and rested his cheek on my head.
"I won't, Bunny."
I smiled to myself as Eddie shifted us so we were lying down facing each other, my head still buried in his chest and his arms still wrapped tightly around me. I managed to open my eyes and look up. He was smiling, watching me, and like a moth to a flame, my hand found his face, my fingertips lightly grazing his features as my eyes followed their trek... his pale cheek, covered by little grains of stubble... his plush, pink lips, which parted slightly at my touch. He closed his eyes and leaned into it until my fingertips trailed to his cute, button nose, his forehead, and back through his hair, where I buried them behind his neck giving him a little scratch.
"Mmm, that's... that's nice."
He released a faint moan and slowly opened his eyes. They were glossy, wanton, and... unsure. His lips formed a sincere smile, and he started repeating my previous motions. His fingers explored my face, eyes following suit.
"Go to prom with me, Bunny."
His voice was so low, commanding even.
"Eddie, why?"
"Because I wanna spend time with you."
"You already spend time with me."
"I know, but... I just wanna go with you. Please say yes."
I sensed nothing but sincerity in his gorgeous eyes, and his voice, so I willed myself to whisper, "Ok... I'll go with you."
"Yeah?" His smile was enormous.
"Yeah."
He cuddled closer and kissed my head. (Flying elbow drop, off the top rope, straight to the gut) When I looked at him we were nose to nose. He nuzzled mine, lips parted. It was almost like a silent plea, begging me to close the gap, to finally let him taste my lips for the very first time, but I was frozen. His lips ghosted mine. I was practically cross-eyed staring at them, but he wouldn't take the plunge. I felt like I was trying to will him with a Jedi mind trick to just do it already, but the force is not strong with me, and he just lingered... the fucking tease.
"Have sex with me," he whispered, smiling playfully.
"What? No." I poked him in the gut, and he giggled.
"Come on. I know you want it as much as I do... and I think it's time we do something about it."
My brow furrowed, eyes darting back and forth in disbelief across Eddie's face. Who does this mother fucker think he is? I mean, I do in fact wanna fuck him, but that's not the point. It's the principle of the thing. I pushed his chest hard and got off the couch ready to lay into him.
"Hey, what---?"
"That's all I am to you, huh? Some... perverted game or prized sexual conquest? Do you have any respect?"
"What? N-no, that's..." he stood up and gripped my arms, "it's not like that at all."
"Then why do you keep pushing this?! I can't..."
I started to cry, unable to finish my sentence. I wanted to smack him, kick him outta my house, just... anything to make the pain stop, but I was so exhausted from this charade and all the mind games that I didn't have the strength to fight him anymore, so when he pulled me into a tight hug and kissed the top of my head I didn't fight him. I just let him hold me as I balled into his shirt.
"Hey, I'm sorry. I'm just... not very good at this, so I'm going about it the only way I know how, and... well, I'm failing miserably, and um... Jesus, I don't know how the hell to do this."
"Do what?" I mumbled.
He pulled me back so he could look at my face, and caress my cheek. His expression immediately softened, but he looked uncertain and extremely nervous.
"Um, hhhhh... something I should've done a long time ago. I wasn't lying earlier. I like you... a lot... but it's more than that... I'm uh..."
"Eddie... what're you doing?"
There was a brief silence. And then... it happened...
"I'm ending our friendship."
And just like that, he closed the gap and encased my lips with his. The sweet pressure of it, the subtle transition of tongue against tongue, the soft, gentle strokes of his thumbs against my face. It was perfect. I couldn't speak, but I needed reassurance. I slowly broke the kiss.
"Hyou... you're serious... aren't you? You're not just saying all this so I'll sleep with you?"
Now he looked like he wanted to cry.
"Y/n, no... you know me better than that. I'm just... a big oaf, but I would never take advantage of you. I just... I wanna be with you. And yes, I... I really wanna fuck you... but not as a buddy. I want you to be my girl. We don't have to do a damn thing. I'd be elated to just hold you for five minutes, but I need you to know this. I--I'm in love with you."
(DDT into a flying body press, followed by a sit-down drop to the gut) I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to stop the onset of tears. Oh my God... oh my God, oh my God, oh my God... oh my FUCKING God! I opened my eyes slowly. We were nose to nose. He flicked his tongue lightly against my lips, and the bastard fucking smiled.
"Munson... hyou-- you're fucking evil." The words came out with my breath.
"I know..."
He cupped his hand under my knee, wrapping my thigh around his hip, and with an arm around my back, he pulled me flush against him. HOOOLY FUCKING SHIT! I could feel how hard he was as he ground his bulge against my aching cunt. My fucking eyes rolled into the back of my head and my breathing hitched. Jesus, Fuck! He was playing so dirty. I wanted to curse him out, spew every obscenity known to man and then some. When I opened my eyes, he was smiling devilishly.
"But you still wanna fuck me... don't you?"
I nodded involuntarily, as if I no longer had control of my body, and Eddie's tongue shot into my mouth. His kiss was hurried, and vivacious, our faces smashed so close together it hurt... but I didn't care. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, and without parting he hiked me up by my thighs and carried me to my bed.
He fell onto the mattress with me on top of him, shifting his body under my weight, continuing to breathe new life into me. His hands found my ass, greedily squeezing before gliding gently up my sides, lifting my shirt. The touch of his hands on my bare skin sent shockwaves up my spine. I broke away just long enough to grab the bunched fabric and rip it over my head throwing it to the floor. Like he couldn't function without them, he found my lips again.
"Mmm, mhh, hhhh... Bunny, I know I joke, but I'm not fuckin' around. Are you sure you want this?" He smoothed back my hair and searched my eyes.
I smiled brightly, tears flowing freely. "Eddie, I want this. I want you."
"Yeah?" He asked, just to be sure.
When I nodded he crashed his lips to mine, drinking them in, savoring them as I've wanted him to for so fucking long.
He rolled me onto my back, trailing hot, wet kisses down my neck, licking softly between my breasts. The heat of his breath was like fire on my skin, and it burned so good. He gently tugged at the front of my bra freeing my perky tits, stopping to admire me.
"Jesus H. Christ... you're so beautiful."
When he finally took a hard peak into his mouth, my back arched, my brow creased, my teeth clenched, and I sucked in a breath of praise, shaking from the stimulation.
"Mmm... Jesus, you're nipples are sensitive. Have they always been like that?"
"N-no... hoh--only when I'm... really turned on. And I-- I've been waiting... so long... for you to touch me like this."
I gasped as he gently flicked my nipple with the tip of his tongue, trailing it up my neck. He placed a chaste kiss on my lips, cupped my cheek, and kissed my forehead tenderly before leaning his on mine.
"My sweet, beautiful Bunny. I've been dreaming of touching you like this for ages, and I wanna take my time with you... to make our first time together last, but I don't think either one of us is gonna make it." He let out a breathy laugh. "Just seeing you, hearing you... knowing how you make me feel, and... knowing how you feel about me..."
He was shaking with urgency, lip quivering, running his hands through my hair, brushing my face with his fingertips... he was manic... and it was beautiful.
"Eddie... I know... there'll be time for all that. I just wanna be with you now."
He exhaled, eyes still shut tight, and he nodded before claiming my lips in a passionate kiss.
"Mhhhh... you're sure about this? About me?"
I gave him a sweet pout, cupped his face, and pulled his forehead to mine.
"Eddie... I want everything with you... and only you."
His whimper was resounding, muffled by my own as we kissed feverishly.
"Mmhhh, Y/n... are you safe? Can-can I take you raw?"
His expression was sweet. He was watching, waiting, yearning as he searched my face.
"Eddie, yes... I love you."
The instant the words left my lips he ravished mine. I ripped off his shirt and tossed it away, quickly locking lips again as he rushed to undo his belt. Without parting we both fumbled with his jeans only bothering to push them just past his hips, and in seconds he was pushing himself inside me. I sucked in a sharp breath, and he was shaking, mouth agape, eyes shut tight as he buried himself to the hilt.
"Ohhhhhsweet... Jeeesus!" He stilled, little broken moans reverberating throughout his chest as we got used to each other.
"Eddie, it's ok... I'm-I'm ok, uuh! Hyou--you can move."
He exhaled heavily and slowly started thrusting, adjusting to the tight space.
"GodDAMN! Hyou, mgghh... you feel better than anything I could've imagined. So soft, so warm... so fucking tight! Jesus, you're perfect."
He leaned his forehead to the crook of my neck as he picked up his pace. I was moaning like a harlot, my eyes rolling into the back of my head. It was pure fucking bliss. I wrapped my legs around his hips, holding him so close.
"I... I couldn't take it anymore." He breathed out. "I--I've been in love with you... since the day we met. Needed this... needed you... so fucking bad. Haww, uhhhh, FUCK!"
My heart skipped a beat. His thrusts were steady, almost prolonged, like he didn't want to consider the notion of this moment ending.
"Eddie, mhhh... I-- I've been dying to hear you say those words."
He lifted his head to look at me, and he was beaming, smoothing my hair back.
"Mhh, my angel. You... you doin' ok? You feel good? Uhhhh."
UGGGG! He was so fucking sweet.
"Eddie..." I ground my hips into him, coaxing from him a delicious guttural moan. He closed his eyes and lowered his head, but I grabbed his face and forced him to look at me. "I'm loving this. We're finally together. Please... don't stop until you make me yours."
He stared at me as if he wasn't sure I was telling the truth. I placed a small kiss of reassurance on his lips, and they turned up into a huge smile. If I didn't know any better I'd say he was about to cry. He immediately claimed my lips, wrapped his arms around my back, and started to move faster. His movements, his touch, his eyes... they said so much, and nothing at all. He made me feel so goddamn good I began to come undone.
"Eddie... I'm-I'm close."
"Uhhh, that's my girl." He immediately rolled us over so he was on his back. "Fuck me, Bunny. Make yourself feel good, ungghh, mhhh yeah, just like that. Hoh, oh fuck! Cum... cum for me, Bunny."
I pressed my hands, to his chest, spread my thighs wide, and fucked him hard until all I could do was throw my head back and scream his name.
"Eddie, oh, ohfuck, FUCK! EDDIE!!!"
I came hard on his thick cock. His body tensed, and I knew he was done for, but I continued to grind and swirl my hips.
"Eddie, I wanna hear you, feel you. Cum inside me, baby. Please... cum for me."
I have never heard a more beautiful sound in my life. He pulled me down, rolled us over, laced our fingers together, and held them above my head, as he ground his hips into mine.
"Mm-Y/n, I'm-I'm gonna fill you up... make you mine. Uhhhhh, fuck... FUCK!"
He gave one more powerful thrust, and his body shuddered. Making the most lewd, yet seductive sound I ever had the pleasure of witnessing, he pumped me full of his seed. Once he was finished he collapsed onto his side, his chest heaving, covered in a sheen of sweat.
"Uhhh... mhhh, h-holy shit..."
He smiled, met my blitzed-out gaze, and started laughing. I placed my hand on his cheek, and he closed his eyes, leaning into my touch. When he opened them he let out a content sigh. He reached for me, wrapped his arm around my waist, and pulled me into the spoon position. Looking down at me, he tilted my chin with his finger so he could see my face. He smiled brightly as an equally giddy smile crossed my lips, and he kissed me, squeezing me tight. I couldn't describe the happiness I felt.
"Eddie?"
"Yeah, Bunny?"
"How did you know?"
He chuckled. "I heard you talking to Robin earlier."
"You were eves dropping?"
"Guilty as charged. I knew it was wrong, but I'm glad I did it."
"Hmm, me too. Do you really wanna go to prom?"
"Not particularly. But I'm not about to let you guys have all the fun without me, so I'm willing to damage my hard-earned rep for you. I just wanna be with you, Bunny."
He placed sweet, wet kisses on my bare shoulder.
"Well, you're one hell of a dancer. Surprised the shit outta me." Mhh, those fucking giggles.
"I know a thing or two." He took his arm from around my waist, laced our fingers together, and held them close to my chest. "I also knew I'd get you to fuck me."
I couldn't help but laugh. "Eddie Munson... you're such an ass... but don't ever change." I turned my head to look at his smiling face, and he kissed me passionately. "Mmm, so... why didn't you tell me you liked me? I was on the verge of imploding."
"I could ask you the same thing."
"I asked you first."
"Hmm, m-hm, hmm! Well, I wanted to. Gareth was my number one cheerleader... but I was too chicken shit. I couldn't stand the thought of losing you if you didn't feel the same way. But when I heard you talking to Robin... it was like... a weight lifted from my shoulders. I love you, Y/n... so fucking much. I fell in love with you the moment we were introduced... but you were so young. So when you turned 18, I just..."
"You started laying it on thick. Jesus, I can't believe I didn't put two and two together."
"Yeah, well... it seemed to have the opposite effect I was going for. Apparently I came off a lot more irritating than charming, so Gareth and Jeff told me to dial it back, and that's when the small talk started."
"I can't believe I was so blind."
"You and me both, Bunny, but now it's your turn, so fess up."
"Hmm, then let me up. I need to show you something."
"Do I have to?"
"Yes, just for a moment. I promise."
Eddie kissed my knuckles and reluctantly let me up. I retrieved a stack of sketchbooks and made my way back to the bed. I plopped down and placed the books in front of him.
"Go ahead."
He rolled onto his side, and I watched as he opened them and scanned the pages in disbelief.
"Are-are these for the project?"
"No. Look at the dates."
He checked them all, page after page, book after book.
"You... you've been drawing me since freshman year?"
"Yeah. That's why I never let you see anything. I know that's kinda creepy, but I just..."
"Uh... this one's far from creepy. We are definitely doing this later."
He pointed to one of my more risqué drawings, smiling mischievously, and I blushed.
"Anyway..." I exaggerated, "I couldn't keep my eyes off you. I've been crazy about you since my first day of school. And when we finally started hanging out, and you began teasing me all the time, I fell for you... hard, but by that point I was deep in the friend zone, and it seemed like you only thought of me as one of the guys. I didn't wanna jeopardize our friendship either, so... I hid my feelings. I thought if you knew the truth... that our banter, the flirting... everything... would all end, so I played along. But when the teasing got worse it became excruciating, so I started lashing out. But I love you, Eddie... with all my heart, and after what we just shared... I've fallen even harder."
I was balling like a baby, and when Eddie trapped me in his arms I melted into him.
"Hey, don't cry, Bunny."
I chuckled through sobs. "They're happy tears, Eddie. Just years of pent-up emotion and sexual frustration finally being expelled. And I really dig the name Bunny. You can call me that one all the time."
"Done. My sweet... soft... beautiful... raging... wrathful Bunny." He kissed my lips between every word. "Mmm, mhh. Can I spend the night?"
"What? Oh, fuck no! Get your shit and go. I got what I wanted." I smiled playfully.
"Hey now, there's only room in this relationship for one asshole."
"I beg to differ."
He wiggled out of his jeans, pulled me down with him and we held each other close. It took mere minutes for us to succumb to the exhaustion. It was the best night's sleep I've had in a long time.
~~~~~
Prom night had finally come. My house was abuzz as all the girls gathered here to get ready while our parents socialized. I was a ball of nerves waiting to see what Eddie had in store for me.
"Alright, look up and hold still... now close your eyes." Nancy lifted my chin and proceeded to apply my eye eyeliner.
"Thanks for doing this, Nancy. Robin and I aren't really make-up girls."
"Don't mention it. You're much less fidgety than Robin."
Nancy was such a sweet girl. Another perk of being friends with Mike and Steve.
"There we go. Hand me your lipstick."
I did as she asked, and she proceeded to apply.
"So... how are you and Munson dealing at school? Blot."
I opened my mouth and clamped my lips down on the piece of toilet paper Nancy was holding.
"Well, we had our fair share of jock harassment on Monday, but I nipped that one in the bud."
"Yeah, Jonathan and I dealt with that crap too. Just let it roll off your shoulder. People eventually get bored. And how about prom? I never thought I'd see the day when Munson would attend."
"Yeah, he feels like he's going against everything he stands for, but if you ask me, I think he's secretly enjoying himself. He won't tell me a damn thing about his outfit, just that I needed to wear black and red. Steve took him shopping, but Eddie swore him to secrecy. All Steve would say is that once he showed Eddie that he could look good and keep his metalhead flair he was very receptive. Steve was proud of him."
Nancy flashed a sweet smile.
"Nancy! Y/n! Get your asses up here! The boys will be here any minute!"
"Keep your panties on Robin, we're comin'!" I took a deep breath as Nancy put the finishing touches on my make-up.
"Ok, all done."
I took one last look at myself in the mirror. My hair was huge, but it fit the theme, and my make-up looked amazing.
"Nancy, you're a miracle worker. I appreciate it!"
"No problem. I love these colors on you. Too dark for my taste, but they suit you."
We smiled at each other, put on our masks, wrapped an arm around each other, and squeezed each other's shoulders.
"Well... you ready?"
"As I'll ever be."
Nancy took my hand and we headed upstairs.
~~~~~
"AHHHHH!!! You... look... amazing. Eddie's gonna flip his shit."
"Thanks, Robin."
"Alright girls, get together. I want some pictures. Make sure you have your masks."
"Mom, wait. Where's Max and El."
"We're right here!" Max yelled, dragging El behind her.
We all gathered in my living room in front of the fireplace, pushing and shoving, trying to get situated.
"Alright, girls. Everyone look this way. One... two... three!"
"Cheeeeeeese!" We all chimed in unison.
We appeased our parents with several photos and that's when we heard the horns.
"Ooo! They're here. Come on let's go!"
Robin grabbed my hand and yanked me toward the front door. Standing in the driveway we watched as two limos pulled up the street. Girls and mothers alike joined the reprise or 'ooo's' and 'ahh's' and 'wows' as the boys piled out of the limos dressed to the nine. They were all so handsome.
"I don't see Eddie."
As soon as the words left my lips it was like the parting of the Red Sea. All the boys moved to the side to reveal Eddie in a devil mask wearing all black save for the red paisley vest and the trim that lined his leather waistcoat. It was gothic steampunk meets metalhead pirate. When he removed his mask he was smiling.
"Someone catch me, I think I'm gonna faint."
Robin grabbed my arm. It was like time stopped, save for Eddie and me. I stood there with my jaw on the ground, eyeballing him up and down as the boys made their way toward us. It was like watching a slow-motion male model montage. When Eddie was finally in front of me he pulled a single long-stemmed rose from behind his back and presented it to me.
"My lady."
I took it hesitantly, unable to speak. I just gawked trying to find my voice.
"You um... ha! Good God you look... so goddamn fuckable," I managed to whisper.
He chuckled. "Hmm, later. I see you followed my instructions. You look absolutely gorgeous. And the bunny mask? Excellent touch."
"I like yours too. Is that your way of protesting your participation in the forced social conformity?"
He chuckled and nodded. "I thought you'd appreciate that."
He claimed my lips with so much passion I forgot we were surrounded by a giant group of people, including my parents.
"Alright, alright. Break it up you two."
We broke apart in protest. Eddie looked at the ground sheepishly, and I pawed at my face, making sure my make-up wasn't a mess.
"Um, sorry Dad."
"Yeah, I'm sorry Mr. Y/l/n. She's just..." Eddie turned to look at me, "so beautiful."
"Mm-hm, she's also my little girl, so mind your manners." My dad held out his hand to Eddie, which he shook happily and with much relief. "You clean up nice, Eddie."
"Thanks, Mr. Y/l/n." They smiled before my dad clapped Eddie's shoulder in approval.
"Oh, get outta the way. Let me take a look at you, Eddie." My mom cupped his cheeks and gave him a once-over. "You look so handsome."
She trapped him in a hug, kissed him on the cheek, pulled back, and smiled.
"Thank you, Mrs. Y/l/n."
He kissed my mom's hand, making her blush, and then she ran to her next victim.
"Gareth Emerson, get your butt over here! Ooo, and who is this pretty lady?"
My mom's voice trailed off and Eddie and I laughed, focusing on each other. After several minutes of socializing and more pictures, I reminded my parents that we were all spending the night at Steve's, and then we finally made our way inside the limos and headed to Hawkins Hall.
~~~~~
The prying eyes were everywhere, but to our surprise, they were out of delight and not hatred.
"Bunny, is it just me, or have the jocks backed off lately?"
"Yeah, I may've had something to do with that."
"Oh? How's that?"
"Well, Monday was the last straw, so I told Carver that if he doesn't shut his dick licker and leave us and the other outcasts alone, the whole school would find out what he and his goons do in the locker room when they think no one's looking."
"Hahaha! What?! Are you serious?"
"Mm-hm."
"And how, pray tell, did you come across that juicy bit of gossip?"
"Well, it pays to have an ex-jock as a friend."
"Wha... Harrington told you this?!"
"That I did, my good man." Steve appeared out of nowhere and clapped Eddie on the shoulder. "Y/n came to the video store a few months back practically in tears, and I was pissed. I can't stand those assholes either, so... I figured that information might come in handy."
"Harrington, I could kiss you."
"Please don't."
They both smiled, and with a chuckle, Eddie patted Steve on the back.
"Thanks for the help, man. You're alright."
Steve gave Eddie's shoulder another pat and proceeded to escort Robin into the building. ~~~~~
I'm surprised none of us passed out from exhaustion. We sat only to eat. The rest of the time we were on the dance floor regaling each other with our moves.
Lucas was a break dancing and moonwalk prodigy. Dustin is a master at the worm. Max and El can replicate any Madonna move known to man. It was a fucking riot. We were cracking each other up with the more ridiculous dances, like me catching Eddie with the fishing pole, Steve and Robin doing the sprinkler, Steve, Eddie, Jonathan, Robin, me, and Nancy doing the library dance from 'The Breakfast Club', all the younger boys doing the Robot, and the lot of us doing the running man. Eddie even had a chance to flaunt his usual shenanigans, which meant dancing on top of a table. That was until Mrs. S. came over and made him get down. And me being a closet disco nerd was forced by Robin to do John Travolta's dance from Saturday Night Fever. I was so fucking nervous, but the cheers, and accompaniment of several other students who also knew the dance, including Robin and Chrissy Cunningham, helped my fear to dissipate. And of course, the majority of the student body performed Michael Jackson's Thriller. At the end of the night, to no one's surprise, Jason and Chrissy were crowned prom king and queen.
It was almost surreal. For the first time in... well, ever... there was no anger or animosity. Everyone in the building was getting along, and when it came time to leave, Chrissy made sure to find me and tell me how much fun she had dancing with me. She gave me a sincere smile and a big hug, but the strangest thing of all was when Jason confronted Eddie, but instead of disdain he offered a handshake thanking him for the entertainment. Eddie accepted his hand and congratulated him on winning prom king, and they actually smiled at each other. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes I wouldn't have believed it.
When it came time for the after-party at Steve's house, Eddie and I took the opportunity to slip away and head back to his trailer so we could be alone.
~~~~~
We devoured each other like animals as we made our way through his trailer to his room. Feverish, sloppy kisses, lips and chins and necks, back to lips, until he pulled away, revealing a malevolent smile.
"As gorgeous as you are in this dress... I've been waiting all night to get you out of it. Off... now."
I did as he commanded, slowly peeled off my dress, and let it fall to the floor. My black lace bra and panties, stalkings, and garter belt were all that remained.
"Jesus Christ, you're stunning, Bunny."
Eddie stared at me with a carnal desire, drinking in the sight of my body, removing his clothing until he was shirtless. He advanced toward me slowly and started running his hands gently up my sides, and around my shoulders so he could unclasp my bra. I stood completely still as he dropped the flimsy article to the floor. He backed away slowly, his eyes glued to my tits. When he met my gaze I made a show of removing my panties, but when I tried to remove my stalkings he grabbed my hands.
"No... leave 'em on. The garter belt too. You're perfect just like this."
Eddie was breathing heavily, blackness consuming his eyes. He leaned forward to trap my nipple between his lips, sucking, licking, teasing each one in turn as I cradled his head, my needy whines and mewells filling the room.
"Mrrmm, Eddie... hyou-you're gonna make me cum."
"Mhhhh..." He released my nipple with a pop and straightened up. "Not yet, Bunny. I wanna taste you first." He gently cupped my tits and licked at my lips until I took his tongue into my mouth. "Hmmm... can I taste you?" He whispered his words, his hot breath sweeping across my face.
"Hhhhyes."
Before I knew it I was on my back, and Eddie was licking a slow, soft trail down my stomach. He latched his lips to the tender flesh of my waistline and sucked a deep purple mark into my skin.
"Mmm... you're mine now, Bunny. I can finally take my time with you."
All I could do was moan at his words. He kissed his mark, knelt on the floor in front of me, and pulled me to the edge of his bed. I could feel his hands, the cool metal of his rings, smoothing gently over my inner thighs, spreading them. I caught the sound of an inhale and felt his warm breath against my wet heat when he exhaled.
"Oh, Bunny, your scent... I need it all over me. On my fingers... my face... hmmm, my tongue. Look at me." I lifted my head long enough for his eyes to silently ask for permission. I gave him a shy nod, but instead of diving in like I figured he would, he lingered, took a quick taste with a flick of his tongue, and savored.
"Mgghh, Christ, that's so sweet."
The instant I felt his fingers slip into my folds I shrieked. His touch was gentle, massaging my thigh with one hand as his fingers barely grazed my inner lips and my clit. It was at that moment I knew that he was hell-bent on torturing me, teasing me, prolonging my pleasure until I was ready to burst. He wasn't going to give me what I so desperately wanted, not until I was begging for it, for him... and I would. I would do anything this man asked of me if it pleased him. When I felt the tip of his finger trace light circles over my clit I wanted to cry. I had a moment's reprieve when he stopped to lick his fingers clean.
"Mmmm, hhhhhh, Bunny, you taste like heaven... but if you don't stop squirming I'm gonna have to pin you down."
"Eddie... wh-why are you being so cruel?"
"Oh, Bunny... I've only just begun."
He blew a light stream of air on my clit until I whined, then he licked me gently from my dripping hole to my hard bud. I was thrashing around, trying to quell the sensation, only to have my thighs pinned to the mattress, by his strong, unyielding grip. Using the tip of his tongue he lightly teased the sensitive skin of my lips, and toyed with my swollen clit until I was sobbing from the pleasure. I tried to touch my sensitive nipples, to rush my release, but he reached up, locked his hands around my wrists, and held them at my sides so he could use his forearms to pin my thighs, then he flattened his tongue and licked from my ass to my clit. I screamed in frustration.
"Eddie, for fuck sake, please! Please let me cum."
He ignored my plea, continuing to fuck me with his tongue until he was ravenous. His pace not letting up as he devoured my pussy like he was starving.
"Holy fucking shit, Munson! Stop... please, just, just fucking stop!"
He halted immediately, breathing heavily. When he took a hand from my wrist to wipe his face, I made my move, twisting violently until I was free of his agonizing hold. I got to my knees, grabbed him by his belt, and pulled him roughly onto the bed, pushing him onto his back. I crawled up his body, straddled his head, and sank my cunt onto his waiting mouth. He dug his fingers into my thighs, the pain shooting through me, but I didn't care. I could finally get what I wanted.
"Mhhhh, Eddie... Yes, YES!" He moaned at my praise, sending chills up my spine. Fuck! The things this man can do with his mouth. I tangled my fingers tightly into his hair and fucked his face. "Munson... hoh... shit, SHIT!!! Hyou... you're gonna tell me... every dirty detail... about how you learned to do this... so fucking well! Fuck, I wanna cum for you!"
He moaned into my pussy. I could hardly control my breathing as small high-pitched whimpers escaped my lips. I was so close to the edge.
"Mhhhhhh..."
The vibrations of his moans, his caressing lips, and the flick of his tongue against my clit were making me buck even harder as his painful grip on my thighs held me steady. I've never felt pleasure like this. He was too good, I could feel a sensation so incredibly earth-shattering building inside me. He must've felt it too 'cause he reached up to tease my nipples, as he feasted, lapped, licked, and sucked at my dripping pussy. My whimpers were loud, shameless, and FUCK were they warranted. I was plunged into a realm of pleasure and bliss, and Eddie was the cause. I let go of his hair, cupped his hands over my tits, and ground my pussy against his face as I experienced the most intense orgasm in the history of sex.
"OhhhhhhFUCK!!! Oh... GOD!... Eddie, EDDIE... Holy SHIT!!!"
"Mmmm, that's it, Bunny. Mhhhhhh."
I continued screaming his name as he greedily sucked and lapped at the sticky mess that poured from my pussy.
"Mmmmm! Fuck! You're taste... it's so goddamn satisfying! Hhhmm!"
He lapped once more at my overstimulated clit. I tried to steady my breathing as I climbed off of him, collapsing onto my back. Breathing heavily he turned his head to look at me, rolled onto his side, and propped himself on his elbow so he could stare at me. His eyes trailed up and down my body, so I decided to tease him. He was in the perfect position to watch. I put my knees up and spread them wide, dipping a finger into my still-dripping folds. I coated it with my slick juices and ran a trail of cum up the middle of my body before raising my finger to his lips. He let out an adorable whimper before sucking it clean.
"Mmmmm... Jesus Christ... you're fucking intoxicating."
He shifted his body, hovering above me so he could trace the trail of cum with his tongue, then he pressed his weight against me, kissing me deeply, passionately before he got to his knees to unbuckled his belt. He undid his pants and pushed them off. Once they were on the floor with the rest of our discarded clothing, he leaned over me, the head of his throbbing cock pushing against my heat. He took my hard peaks into his mouth once more gently teasing my sensitive nipples with the tip of his tongue. The soft tickles were too much to bear, and I almost came, only to be denied. He sat back on his heels, his knees spread wide so his massive erection was standing at attention between my legs, but before he could pull me toward him I quickly got on all fours facing him and wrapped my lips around his swollen head.
"Ohhhhhhhhh..." he breathed out.
He started convulsing as I used my tongue to toy with his slit. I sucked his head into my mouth and slowly swallowed him whole until my nose was touching his coarse, dark pubes. He brushed his fingers through my hair, holding it back so he could watch as I took him in and out of my mouth.
"Oh, Bunny... uhhhhyeah... suck me, beautiful... just like that... ohhhhhh."
Still sitting on his heels he leaned back, braced himself on his hands, and spread his knees wider. I pulled all the way off of him before sucking him into the back of my throat.
"OH!! God...DAMMIT!!!"
I swallowed hard around him, releasing him to catch my breath, and sank again, slurping and gagging as he used one hand to hold my head, and I loved every second of it. When he let me surface for air his chest was heaving. I grabbed the base of his cock and squeezed as I vigorously sucked his tip. He sucked in a hiss, his breath catching in his throat, chest heaving as I started to work him faster. His vocals just made me more feral.
"Oh...SWEET JESUS!!! You're... you're fucking phenomenal... Uhhnnggg..."
My strokes and his breathing became more erratic.
"Oh, oh, fuck! That's my good girl, my good Bunny, mhhhhh... keep-keep going. Take me deep. OhhhhhhFuck! YES!"
With his fingers clenched in my hair and his cock lodged deep in my throat, I sucked his soul through his dick. His body was shuddering, jolt after jolt of sexual electricity, until he pulled my head up.
"Jesus Christ! That-that's so fucking good, hhmhh... but I don't wanna cum yet..... HOH! GODDAMN!"
His whole body tensed as I licked him from balls to tip, sucking his sensitive head one last time. When he opened his eyes he caught my smug smile, threw his head back, and started laughing.
"That was payback, you teasing fuck."
His laugh morphed into a heady moan as I trailed my tongue through his pubes, over the wiry muscles of his stomach until I was on my knees, teasing his hard nipple with my tongue. He caressed my head tenderly as I suckled before he forced it up and shoved his tongue down my throat.
"MmmHmmm... hhhhhhh. O-ok, I get it. I've met my match. Now lie back baby girl."
With his knees under my thighs and my hot wet cunt begging to be filled, we made eye contact.
"Oh, Bunny... you're so gorgeous it hurts. Are you ready for me?"
"Munson, if you don't put your dick inside me, like yesterday, I'm never speaking to you again... now fuck me!"
I threw my head back and whimpered as Eddie grasped my thighs and plunged his cock deep inside me.
"Oh, FUCK! Munson! PLEASE!"
I stared at him through half-lidded eyes, mouth agape as I rubbed my tits. With every powerful thrust I became more and more excited... and so very close to another intense orgasm. He used a thumb to tease my sensitive clit. I arched my back, my tits moving up and down with every heavy breath. He dug his fingers into my thigh, still teasing my clit as he continued to pound into me, willing me to scream his name.
"Oh... FUCK! EDDIE!!! Oh my God. I'm gonna cum!!!"
"That's it Bunny... take my cock. Wanna, MRRGGG! Wanna watch your sweet pussy gush from what I do to you. I want it all over me."
"Oh, that fucking mouth, Munson!"
"You mean this mouth?"
He wrapped his arms around the small of my back, leaning down to lick and kiss my navel, then he lifted me upright so he could claim my tits again, licking and sucking as he held me close, his course hair rubbing against my clit as he fucked up into me. My walls started to clench around him, so he laid me down and ran his hand from my tits back to my clit.
"Scream for me, Bunny... scream my fucking name!"
He commanded me, letting his head fall back as he fucked me and continued to rub circles around my clit with his thumb.
"Oh... holy shit, Eddie! EDDIE! Oh my GOD!"
Screaming, I clenched the sheets and a burst of liquid sprayed all over his abdomen.
"YES! OHHHHHHFUCK!!! I'm-I'm gonna bust. C-can I come inside you?"
"Yes! Do it!"
He slammed into me one last time and his whole body tensed.
"Ohhhhh, Fuck!!! God.... DAMMIT!!! HOHHHH, ohhh my gorgeous girl."
His fingers dug into my waist until he rode out his release and collapsed on top of me. I threw my limbs around him as he poured all of his emotion into our kiss. I was on the verge of tears.
"Munson... I love you. I love you so much." We hugged each other so tight. "Hyou... you can do that to me forever if you like."
He looked up, still breathing hard, and smiled. Staring into my eyes with all the love in the world, he brushed some hair from my face, placed one more passionate kiss on my smiling lips, rolled us onto our sides, and pulled me tightly to his chest.
"Hmm, my beautiful, raging... wrathful, Bunny. I love you more than life itself. Ending our friendship was the best decision we ever made."
•••••❤️❤️•••••
Thank you for reading! Be excellent to each other, and get your Munson on!
🤘
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Freddy 'Boom Boom' Washington from 'Welcome Back Kotter'... Hi there!
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Vinnie Barbarino from 'Welcome Back Kotter'
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The Beatles 'Another Girl' video from the movie 'Help'
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Your prom dress and mask.
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sapphic-agent · 5 months ago
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I really hope my ask won't be seen as mean, hope to word correctly....bc your last post about how Eri and Shig do share some common ground. I agree but it irks me how LoV stans use this to make shig sound not so bad.
Many fics and arts where "shig saved Eri" exists as Eri is an accessory for Shig and nothing else.
I do see the paralels here. I do wonder about the mother....did overhaul killed her?
It's very convenient for the heroes to label Eri's quirk as good ...bc if she had just decay...she would be label as having a bad quirk. Maybe the heroes wouldn't care much. (Makes me wonder where are the healing quirks or medical advancement in this world)
But while they have a similar backstory...how Izu would possible know? I sincerely ask here bc AM went radio silence regards Shig to Izu, same with Gran and the police did a really lousy investigation (I'm assuming is lousy bc we don't see what they did and whatever they did it was one time thing) and didn't share the infos with Izu.
Does Izu knows about the nomus?
Im even surprised he knows shig is TENKO...but of course, such reveal is underwealming as fuck and him and Nana don't take at all.
Izu is mistreated by the narrative and no one talks to him ever.
Not to harpy on your post bc I agree this could have been useful....but like how Izu would know anything about Shig? Unless Shig tells or Izu becames the best hacker ever...or reads mind...he can't know. Ever.
I've said this before, but the reason Izuku doesn't understand Shigaraki is because they haven't interacted enough prior to the Final War.
Their conversation at the mall was a good moment. It shows that a) Izuku has the capacity to resonate with a villain's intent AND disagree with their actions (Stain), b) Shigaraki at this point didn't have a goal or direction, and c) it IS possible for Izuku to understand why hero society is corrupt. It also highlights the differences between them, attempting to show them as complete opposites.
The mall scene was a great way to explain the dynamic between them. And it's something that should have been expanded on throughout the story.
Admittedly, I don't know how Shigaraki's backstory would come up. But I'm sure it wouldn't be a hard thing to do. Didn't All Might pull up Tenko Shimura's disappearance? Maybe Izuku figures it out on his own somehow. Idk.
But to me, it doesn't even specifically have to be Tenko's actual past. It could be an implied thing that Izuku learns from watching how people treat Eri. Hell, part of him already has a clue from his fight with Shinsou.
(One thing I actually hate about Izuku's character is his inability to acknowledge the corruption of society despite being a victim of it. He started off being able to do this with Stain, but for some reason that just went away. He studies under Endeavor, even defends him to Dabi and tells Todoroki he's ready to forgive him. Lady Nagant spelled it out for him and he just... Doesn't react. Doesn't even think about what she said. This is on Horikoshi's awful writing decisions, but it's the one criticism of Izuku that's 100% valid)
Eri shouldn't be used for Shigaraki's redemption. I honestly wouldn't want her around any of the LOV, that's putting her in danger to make another character look better. It's the same issue that I have with Aizawa making Bakugou watch her.
But I do think that Izuku's experiences with the people around him- which includes Eri- should give him a broader worldview. That's typically how development and growth work. If Izuku was going to reach out and try to save Shigaraki, it should have been with an understanding of how society failed Shigaraki.
Saving him also could have meant a lot of different things. Saving Shigaraki from AFO's influence/brainwashing wasn't a bad goal. Saving him from himself, though, is different. People have to want to change, you can't make them. You can give them support, but Izuku wasn't in a position to do so because he's, y'know, a sixteen year old who isn't even an official pro hero. Of course he wasn't equipped for this. Most actual pros wouldn't have been
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zankaboo · 3 months ago
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(this post is going to be kinda chaotic because I have many thoughts to share but I'm struggling with being coherent right now)
I'm 28 and I still live with my parents. But I think I need to seriously start considering moving out, or something.
Living with my parents never bothered me much. Part of me was happy about it because like, why should I move out and take care of myself if I can live with someone else and not worry about anything?
But recently I've been trying to work on my issues and I feel like I'm never going to fully heal unless I escape my mother. She is abusive. She's been messing with my mind for so many years that I don't really feel like my own person. I'm almost 30 and I don't know who I am, I don't know how to be an adult. I don't even know what kind of clothes I like to wear. My mom doesn't care much about my emotional well being, she criticizes everything I do. She cares about me in general, I know that and I know that she loves me in her own way but the way she treats me is destroying me. Now that I've started to really think about where all my problems came from, the only source I can think of is my mom. She made me hate myself. I self harmed because of her. I shed so many tears because of her. Nothing else fucked me up as much as my mom. She hates herself too and she projects all of her issues on me. And because of her I believed that I'm ugly and worthless as a person. My dad kinda sucks too, not as much, but he hurt me deeply a few times.
I love my parents tho. Even after all the shit they did to me I love them. My mom can be a very funny person if she wants to be. My dad too. But they hurt me so much. And I want to be away from them.
I've been trying to love myself, my looks, my personality. I stopped all the self depriciating jokes, I stopped calling myself ugly or saying "I hate myself" or "I'm going to kill myself". It's only been like two months but I can already feel the difference. Sometimes I look at my body in the mirror and I see something desirable now. And it's an awesome feelings. I'm really starting to see that change is possible. A better life is possible. And I really want it. For the first time in my life I really want to change things.
But I just don't know what to do. My mother controlled everything in my life, she made most decisions for me. So despite some improvements in my mental health, it all feels so out of reach right now.
I'm very lonely. Despite living with two people, I'm lonely. I get to hang out with my coworkers often and they're all cool people but those aren't really meaningful relationships. I don't have people that I can hang out with after work, or chat with, or call. But I spent so many years in isolation, I don't even know how to make friends. I think I have ADHD too which also might make those things harder for me (I heard that people with ADHD struggle with making friends and stuff). I lost every single school friend, even those that I considered to be close friends. I don't know if it's all my fault or if other people were at fault too. But for some reason almost no one wants to try to maitain a friendship with me and it's so upsetting.
I'm afraid of even looking for friends. I'm afraid of letting anyone know that I can't take care of myself, that I don't know the basics of adulthood. It is very embarrassing. I can't let people know that I'm like this, so helpless and clueless. Getting a boyfriend is completely out of the question at this point. I mean who the fuck would even want to love me romantically now? No one wants an adult baby. And this stings so fucking bad now because I've become infatuated with such a nice and funny guy and I haven't been able to think about anything else but him. If I could at least be friends with him, I would be so fucking happy.
I don't even feel alive to be honest. I'm just existing. I want to live, I want to meet new people, I want love and sex, I wanna go to concerts and find new hobbies. I want to make more art and improve my skills since it's my main hobby, I've always loved drawing. I want to try new mediums like painting or sculpting. I'd like to play some instrument too. But it feels out of reach now.
I really don't know what to do, where to start. I'm so lost.
I can't ask my parents for advice. I really wish I had someone who would teach me how to be a person, how to be an adult.
I don't want a life like this.
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kiwiana-writes · 7 months ago
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I dont think anyone subscribes to you for t rated 5 +1s in your own au lol. Chop chop with those wip’s porn girl!
Well. Quite a bit to unpack here on an otherwise unassuming Friday!
#1:
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#2: I actually track this stuff. Admittedly the E-rated percentage is a bit higher if you look at RWRB only, but overall...
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#3: I think anyone who subscribes to me on AO3, or indeed anyone who follows the kiwiana-writes tag here on tumblr and sees all those fucking WIPs, knows that I like to write a bit of variety. That's not to say there aren't definite underpinnings of, like, themes and vibes that I return to over and over (which I can only assume are why people subscribe to me), but if someone only likes my college AUs, or only likes my post-canon stuff, or only likes my E-rated stuff, or only wants to listen to my podfics, they're probably going to have a much more successful time saving the tag search than subscribing to me at the author level. Or they've mastered the art of archiving and moving on without complaining about it, like I do when the authors I'm subscribed to write something that doesn't interest me. It's a useful skill! I highly recommend cultivating it.
#4: AO3 not giving series stats is and continues to be the bane of my life, but based on the number of people who subscribed to the OG actor AU, there's probably a significant chunk of people who aren't subscribed to me as an author and only want the actor AU verse stuff. And good for them! I LOVE that AO3 offers multiple ways to subscribe so you can get notified for the stuff you want (my kingdom for the ability to subscribe to individual pseuds, though.)
#5: This fandom is OVERFLOWING right now. Like, I can't keep up. You only want to read E-rated stuff? Awesome! Well over 100 E-rated fics have been posted in the RWRB bookverse tag just this week (it looks like most of the movieverse smut has also been tagged bookverse, but either way it's also very easy to find). Or go back to older fics and find some hidden gems—there's nothing an author loves more than for someone to come in and gush about a fic they wrote a year or two ago.
#6: You don't pay me, and I'm not subject to annual review. One of my favourite authors was talking this morning about how sometimes she thinks about taking a break from writing for RWRB because it's starting to feel a little rat racey, and that would suck for me personally because I love her stuff but god knows I couldn't blame her, because the (extreme minority but still exhausting) entitled comments and rudeness really do not help. Stop treating your favourite authors like content creators who owe you something new on a regular schedule, because that's a damn good way to ensure they don't want to create anything new ever again. Like... anon, you haven't even bothered to couch this in a compliment. The bar is ten feet underground and somehow you still managed to trip over it.
#7: Not to be all 'back in my day' but... well, back in my day, snippets and peeks into the universe of a remotely popular longfic were pretty much the standard lol. Nobody is forcing you to read them, I promise.
#8: I've posted two E-rated fics in the last two weeks.
#9: Honestly I just really want to reiterate #1 because what the hell lol. While pronouns don't equal gender, it's pretty reasonable to extrapolate from pronouns if you don't have any other info to go on—and of the three "main/standard" pronouns, the one most closely associated with 'girl' is the only one that ISN'T in my bio 🤦
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hd-wireless · 4 months ago
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📻🎶 H/D WIRELESS 2024 - WEEKLY WRAP-UP #3
The third week of posting has come to an end! Enjoy catching up with this week's selection of wonderful works. 
There's a work for everyone in this fest (and if you haven't found what you're looking for yet, we're not done with posting).
As always you can listen to the prompted songs for the works we post on two playlists:
Click here for Spotify (many thanks to @evaeleanor for helping us out there) ❤️ And here for the YouTube playlist.
Please enjoy this week’s entries below the cut:
🎶 H/D Wireless Art 🎶
📻 A Quiet Life [T, Digital art]
🎵 Song Prompt: A Quiet Life by Teho Teardo & Blixa Bargeld  🎵 Summary: After their relationship becomes public knowledge; after being hounded by the paparazzi; after Draco says enough is enough and leaves London; Harry’s more than happy to follow.  After all, a quiet life is all he’s ever wanted.
🎶 H/D Wireless Fic 🎶
📻 I made loving you a blood sport (so let's play) [E, 3,032]
🎵 Song Prompt: Blood Sport by Sleep Token  🎵 Summary: They sat in an odd kind of silence, comfortable in its discomfort. In the predictability of its recklessness. The thing between them was as palpable as the thick smoke in the air, consumed with every breath, and likely just as bad for them.
📻 Everything that can go wrong will go wrong [T, 5,178]
🎵 Song Prompt: If You Were Mine by Leon Bridges and Miranda Lambert  🎵 Summary: “You can move in with me!”  Shit. Apparently there was still a possibility to make a fool out of himself to his crush despite his best efforts at minimizing contact. Draco and Andromeda looked at him in record speed, showing their own expressions of confusion. Maybe at his appearing out of nowhere, maybe at his panting that made it seem like he just ran a marathon for some reason, or maybe at his abrupt and impulsive suggestion. Shit. Teddy wasn’t even here to take off the edge—Harry was completely alone in this one.  After a pause, Draco fully turned to him with a manner that definitely showed his opinion of how stupid Harry was, and asked, “What?”
📻 Antelucan Ruins [E, 29,453] 
🎵 Song Prompt: Ghost by Justin Bieber  🎵 Summary: From the bloody Prophet, Draco discovers Harry Potter’s death splashed in grey ink printed on the front page. Potter is dead before Draco gets to see him again to fulfil a half-spoken promise. And yet, these days Draco has the power to bend the world to his heart’s desires, and that includes fucking Harry Potter even after he personally saw Potter’s pale, lifeless body lying in a coffin before it got buried under the soil. "Do you realise that you're just as pathetic and insane? You're so hung up on the idea of me that you'd fuck a ghost, Malfoy. You risked your life for it."  Draco puts an arm around Potter's body, "Whoever says I am sane? Certainly not me. It's calculated risk with more success rate than failure. And you are dead, Potter. You refuse to move on to the next realm because you crave for my cock."
📻 I've Been There (sitting in that same chair) [Gen, 2,212]
🎵 Song Prompt: The Village by Wrabel  🎵 Summary: People keep knocking on Draco’s door. Draco just wants to read his book (he doesn’t mind, really).  Or: Draco gets to be the supportive queer person he’d wished for when he was younger.
📻 Lonely Rivers [M, 7,370]
🎵 Song Prompt: 'Unchained Melody' by 'The Righteous Brothers'  🎵 Summary: Six years after the end of the war, Harry takes care of Teddy Lupin and has started to learn guitar. Hermione negotiates with foreign powers. Draco's a trainee Healer with a glam karaoke routine. And when Ron and Parvati decide to get married, they find a job for everyone...
📻 How to Begin [E, 8,478]
🎵 Song Prompt: Blush by Orville Peck  🎵 Summary: Harry is completely, pathetically besotted with his flatmate, Draco. Fuelled by liquid courage, he finally makes his move when he's absolutely sozzled. What could possibly go wrong?
📻 Oneiros [E, 13,125]
🎵 Song Prompt: Enter Sandman by Metallica  🎵 Summary: When contact with a weird vase traps Harry in his nightmares, it's Unspeakable Draco Malfoy's task to rescue him. In order to do so, he will have to face his past and his family history and win a duel of wits against a Morpheus and try to be better than his father each step of the way...
📻 Say When [E, 24,545]
🎵 Song Prompt: Undisclosed Desires by Muse 🎵 Summary: When Auror Harry Potter is sent in undercover to determine if Draco Malfoy is laundering money through his BDSM club, will he be able to keep up the ruse and close the case? Or, more to the point, will he keep from falling in love?
🎶 H/D Wireless Podfic 🎶
📻 [Podfic] Case of You [E, 11:48:56]
🎵 Song Prompt: Case of You by Joni Mitchell  🎵 Summary: Draco was doing just fine working as an Unspeakable in Paris, hanging out with his living and ghostly pals, inventing new spells, and definitely not thinking about Potter. Then, Lucius just had to break out of prison and turn his world upside down.  Now, Draco has to return to England, where he is forced to confront how family ties bind us—and one infuriatingly fit Harry Potter.
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loveapologist · 21 days ago
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We have had this conversation many times before, but I think it's worth repeating and stressing out:
Cringe culture is dead, embrace what you love making and do it unapologetically.
Speaking as an artist, I've found myself assaulted many times by the dichotomy of making art that is acceptable vs the art I want to make. By acceptable I don't mean void of controversy (art is all about sharing your own voice and sometimes that is controversial!) but art that I know it's gonna be well received by the internet.
Take fanart for example; it's not only that fanart is gonna be more popular and well received than original art (duh) but also fanart from certain media will garner more attention. A fanart from a different media will have less tracking and that is all well and understood; I'm not taking about popularity here, I'm talking about guilt.
Guilt about making something from a fandom and have people construct an idea about you, guilt about putting work and time into something that is not gonna interest the people that follow you and may drive them away. We have to get rid of that; how many stories are not being told due to guilt? How many niche fandoms are missing out on amazing artists?
I've found myself unsure about posting art of different stuff and even creating it. Getting stuck into this X fandom I may like and it's popular and well received and not being brave enough to share other things that are dear to my heart, due to this guilt. No one will care, they will think I'm this way or that, I will be an annoyance on people's feeds.
And that is so fucked up.
For example, at the start of the year I took the hard decision to stop being a freelance artist and change careers (for several reasons, I won't go into it now). It was incredibly painful and I could not bring myself to pick up a pencil again and create for months. I got into Harry Potter rolplaying in a very private environment and I didn't share it with anyone because I felt guilt for liking that fandom too- I've tried to move forward, grow out of it, but I just can't. I'm gonna be thirty soon and I've come to realize it's my special interest, it fills me in ways that other things can't. It's comfort, it's home.
The thing that got me out of a very toxic moment with art? Drawing my Harry Potter OC I use for rolplay. I love him so much, it's very dear to me and I would love to share the rich history I've built around him but again- even after all this time, I found myself feeling guilty. About liking Harry Potter, about having a cringey rp OC, about not posting art for the other fandoms I've been into.
And you know what? I'm tired of it. This fills me with a creative passion I hadn't felt in years, it makes me want to draw again even if no one really cares. I'm tired of feeling guilty and I won't let myself be reigned by it no longer.
Who cares if it's a rp oc, if it's a self insert in some ways, if it's cringe or overdone. I do have a creative voice, stories to tell, things that I love and it's that love I want to share.
Life is too short to stop yourself from creating and sharing something you love. Create the thing, share the thing. At the end of the day there is no one else but yourself to be accountable for the things you have or haven't done.
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simplepotatofarmer · 1 year ago
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Blog Update:
Hi, it's me, Loyal.
I just want to say first and foremost, I really do love (parts of) the fandom and I'm not going anywhere.
I will, however, not be around as much. One, I'm about to enter an all day intensive treatment plan so I'll literally just be on in the evening. Two, as much as I'm going to keep writing and creating, I have no intention of interacting publicly with fandom as much as I have.
I can't. It's actually fucking insane that it's gotten to this point. I made tribute post and because I used lyrics from Dream's song, I got harassed. The people doing this, acting like this, thinking this way are insane.
So in case it's not clear: Based on my personal lived experience and some information that's come to light, I still enjoy Dream's content. You can approach me personally, off anon, if you want to know my reasoning. If you dislike me for this, that's fine. But I'm done trying to walk this fine line just so I don't get people threatening me, my kids, and my pets. Just so people stop sending me the city I live in, so they stop digging up twelve year old tweets, so they stop calling me slurs and suicide baiting me.
That's absolutely insane. It's horrible. It's disgusting and I was honestly just sitting here, taking it, because I'm terrified of upsetting people and losing friends if I say 'yeah, I'm excited for a new manhunt and I also this song helped me and my kids process my grief'. And the worst part is, it's not an unfounded fear. People have done the most vile shit to me. People I thought were friends jumped on me instead of those harassing me.
I just want to post about Techno and c!Rivals duo and not worry about whether or not this post is going to get me hate. I don't want to worry about how random discord servers are talking about me.
Because that's fucking batshit. Not the worrying, but what these people are doing and I'm tired of letting this effect me. I have enough going on in my personal life. My partner of 15 years almost died. We almost lost our house. I should be able to come online and post about the silly minecraft guys I like and their RP and lore without censoring myself out of fear of literally being doxxed and cyber stalked. I should be able to talk about the racism that effects me without being afraid people will make it about cc drama or calling me slurs or erasing my identity as an Ojibwe person.
The people doing this are the problem. It hurts that so many people are part of this, it really does. But I can't keep letting it get to me. I've always done my best to be kind. I haven't been perfect, especially not lately, because all this hate and stress has gotten to me. I've lashed out. I shouldn't have.
And I shouldn't have had to deal with all that shit in the first place. I hope no one else does. It's terrifying and draining and I'm done.
So I intend to post the things I enjoy, I intend to reblog my friends' art, write the Emerald duo and Rivals duo fics I want to. I want to post about the Syndicate and the new manhunt when it comes out. That's what I'm going to do.
Asks are staying off for the moment because people are too happy to make burner blogs but I'll probably turn them back on at some point as I love answering lore and headcanon questions and, again, it's fucked up I can't enjoy an aspect of the site and fandom because people can't just leave me alone.
To those people: Get help. You're harassing someone because you think they deserve it and that's the most fucked up thing.
To everyone else: So so many of you have been amazing. You've been supportive, you've been kind. That kindness and support speaks volumes and I love you all. I genuinely love you. Dreblr, you've been here for me for over a year at this point and I cannot thank you enough. You are the best part of fandom as far as I'm concerned. And to Dtblr, y'all have come to support me countless times and that means the world to me, it really does. As for all my fellow Rivals duo fans, you people are worth your weight in gold for the joy you bring. A special shout-out to @vpofcookies because you've been here since the beginning, practically, and I love you. There's more but you know who you are.
Anyway, I've been carrying this for awhile and I'm tired. I'm no longer going to give any amount of thought to the people determined to drag me down and harass me constantly.
My best advice is stop focusing on the things and people you hate and instead focus on what you love. That's what I plan to do, from here on out.
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ghostoffuturespast · 5 months ago
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WIP Whenever
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*takes a deep breath* Tagged by @streetkid-named-desire @wanderingaldecaldo (you two I think at least twice lol) @seeker-of-truth
@baublekute @scarlettspectra @aggravateddurian. Thank you all very much for thinking of me! 🧡
Tag backs for everyone above 😘 and @luvwich @merge-conflict @shimmer-like-agirl @mynonsenseistingling
@fly-amanitaa @dani-the-goblin @tarmac-rat @lavnderkiwi @morganlefaye79
Cash your tag in now or later and feel free to do whatever creative projects you're working on! Doesn't even have to be fandom related.
It's been a minute. This one got long.
I largely haven't been doing any fandom stuff other than VP because my work schedule has been insane the past two months. And the only reason I have VP to post is because I'm generous about snapping pics and the vast majority of photos y'all are seeing are ones I took back in March/April/May.
Things at work are starting to be slightly less hectic though, so hopefully I can get back into the swing of things. I'm trying to be gentle with myself about the time and energy I do have but it's been frustrating wanting to do things and not having the beans to do them. Spending most of my workdays outside for extended periods of time means I'm bone tired when I get home. And then I have more work to do outside...
Gardening
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My garden is gonna be very scraggly looking for the rest of the year, but if I can keep it alive, in theory, the plants should come back bigger and bolder next year. Shortgrass prairie plants spend the bulk of their first few growing seasons establishing their root systems since water is often in short supply, so the tops of the plants are very unimpressive rn. Most of them probably won't get much bigger than this or even flower this year.
I've gotten a good chunk of the plants in the ground, have irrigation lines going to all of them, and did the lil concrete paver patio. I still need to finish planting the plants that have been languishing in their pots for over a month, bury the irrigation lines, and do a bunch of other random things, but we're getting there. Not planning on covering the bare dirt with mulch because I'm doing fall and spring seeding and I want the plants to self-sow. Going for wild pocket prairie and I'm gonna let it go absolutely feral. I'd eventually like to get rid of the river rocks too but baby steps.
What's really funny is all my native plants seem to be doing reasonable well. My vegetable garden on the other hand... It's sad. I know where I fucked up though (I should not have done that soil experiment lol and attack of the cutworm catepillars), so I'll just have to cut my loses this year and reevaluate for next. The worm composter is doing good though 🪱
Drawing
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Attempting to get back into drawing. Again, it's been slow. Have been doodling some mutual's CP2077 OCs when I have the time and still have a ways to get through my list. I'm surprised by how much fan art of Grandpa I've received so I figured I'd return the favor for some folks. It's always a pleasant surprise getting some lovely art in your inbox. Probably won't be coloring most of these from here on out. I have a love hate relationship with coloring. Sorry, I just find lines more interesting. All of these were done with dip pen, ink, and watercolor.
I've got another more formal piece I need to work on as well and get done by the end of the month. Keep forgetting to do the layout sketches...
Writing
The slowest of them all. Been working on the same damn short fic (No. 1 of Les Preludes) and then brainstorming for about fifty other projects that are waiting their turn in line. Plus, I'm still trying to read too. But when I can only manage a chapter of a fic about every two weeks...
Most of my writing efforts have been bopping into my drafts now and then and pecking out a sentence or two. However, I did manage to spend 45 minutes detangling a section of about 200 words 🐢:
Have you or a loved one been in an accident or injured on the job?  Are you missing your former quality of life?  Holed up in the bathroom, Robert winced at his reflection in the mirror and at the crusted blood he picked at underneath his nostrils.  Then consider Arasaka Cybernetic Implants!  Fully functional prostheses are capable of replicating the full range of human motion and more!  Available in a range of sizes and styles to suit all your lifestyle needs.  The body of the future is NOW. The corners of his mouth tugged on a bruised eye and what former experience had taught him was a broken nose. Call 1-800-IMPLANT today for a free consultation! Low-interest financing and payment plans available. A rapid fire of unintelligible fine print was drowned out by the sputter of the faucet. Robert cupped his hands and scrubbed at his face, the pain disappearing for the briefest moments with the black of shut eyes and splashes of cold water.      Arasaka Corporation.  What can we do for you? Dry flecks of red decorated the sides of the sink before rehydrating into inky swirls of blood that slipped down the sides of imitation porcelain. Yellowed, cracked, and starting to chip. The plastic hadn’t aged well.
This snippet gives me the hardest war flashbacks to those late 90s/early 00s TV phone ads. Anyone else old enough to remember these things?
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summertrynnacope · 5 months ago
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CW: Nazism, TribeTwelve, swear words, (vent??)
Spoilers for EMH, Canyouseethewords blog, TribeTwelve and Sebastian's Journal.
Hi, it's me again. No shit. So. It's been like a month since the whole drama unfolded and I haven't stopped thinking about it since. I know things have quieted down lately, and like many others, I wish we could all move on and forget this ever happened. However, I can't simply recover from it, mainly because I feel the posts about me continue to spread on this platform, radiating the negativity and false info about me to this day. This drama has been devouring me for a long time now, and I've decided to make another post. I gotta admit I haven't been 100% honest in my previous post, it was more of my attempt to back off, cry over it and avoid this drama. But I'm not doing that again. I'm done pretending and I'm tired of being nice and tolerating others when they're completely misguided. I'm fucking angry. That's why I decided to make one more post about this and I have so many things to say. This is not another apology post, think of it as a vent post and recap explanation of everything where I'll be brutally honest.
Also, if anyone of you is a Nazi supporter, get the fuck out. I do not welcome you here.
First of all, I do not understand why my efforts have been ignored. I did everything that was asked of me. I acknowledged my so-called ''mistakes'', I owned up to them, deleted the posts, apologized, explained my intentions, and you decide to just fucking ignore it?? What do you want from me then, huh? I'm not the ignorant here, you are fucking ignorants. Made me realize I actually haven't done anything wrong. Made me wonder if I should've even deleted those posts, I put a lot of effort into them, and some people actually liked them. It's not my fault some of you are sensitive and brainwashed by censorship culture and you can't accept or understand a canon-accurate depiction of characters. You think I've been sweeping something under the rug? No. In fact, it's the opposite. You've been sweeping this whole shit under the rug by dismissing me as a Nazi supporter, just because I drew something that was considered canon for so many years. I've done nothing wrong, I've been honest about my art the entire time. I draw what I enjoy and what is accurate to the lore. I love history and the Slenderverse, and I draw canon-accurate content, yet you get mad over it. It's so ridiculous. If this post can't open your fucking eyes, I don't know what else will, and frankly I don't care anymore. I'm done with this shit. I've acted like the adult I am, and took responsibility. However I'm not going to point any fingers or dismiss anyone specifically, because I am not like this.
And to everyone: If you don't like something, just ignore it. But if it really seems problematic and malicious, why not contact the person directly and talk it out, or find ways to know their true intentions instead of making hundreds of hate-posts about them like some pissy children. This is such a toxic behavior.
About the whole Nazi stuff:
Don't get me wrong. Nazism is a sensitive topic, I understand that. But I think being offended by it right now, in the 21st century, is just so ridiculous to me. I understand it can get very annoying tho. They talk about WW2 and the Austrian painter on TV non-stop. But being offended by some art? Like, are you serious. Do you realize Nazi shit has been in so many fanfiction, stories and literature for so many years, and you have no reason to get offended by it? The Nazi concept has been used in so many media, whether just for a joke or a serious plot point. South Park, Family Guy, Indiana Jones, Marvel Universe, X-Men, The Boys, and God knows what else.. Would you get offended by a fanart of cute little fat boy Eric Cartman? Of course not. But I can easily say: ''He's a Nazi! You drew a cute fanart of him! You're a Nazi supporter!'' That's you. That's how you sound. Do you see how ridiculous that is? There are thousands of people shipping him with Kyle Broflovski, oh but he's a Jew, and they hate each other in the show. Yet there are artists who make ship art of them. Does anyone complain? At the end of the day, they're just fictional characters, and I rather ignore it even if it kinda annoys me. Btw, South Park is just an example of this issue, I'm not targeting anyone or anything specifically here.
The Brandit post:
I really need to go back and add something to that post of HABIT saying ''LET'S FUCK AND PISS OFF OUR ANCESTORS.'' which creeped Firebrand out (honest reaction). That quote seemed really harsh, I know. Was it bad humor? Yeah.. But do I regret drawing this? At this point, I must say no. I did not stutter. As I said, I will be brutally honest from now on. Do you think HABIT wouldn't say that? Do you think he wouldn't say something sexual to a Jewish person, or frankly to anyone really? Yes, he would!! It's in his nature, he's fucked up. Are we trynna ignore the fucking scene of HABIT pulling the jerk off gesture at Noah?? Did we all not see the same thing?? He is like this. He makes fun of him while adding Christmas decorated borders on a letter for him. He's aware Noah is Jewish, yet he pulls a sexual gesture at him. Don't try to deny this one.
About the symbols... From what I've just said, I drew the little symbols there next to them (Star of David and Hakenkreuz) because I wanted people to see and realize the fact that these two guys are a Jew and a (former) Nazi, which people have been sweeping under the rug, not me. Also, if anyone remembers the post I made, I believe I wrote ''I should have put Christmas borders there as well/jk.'' under it or something like that. I removed it later on because people didn't seem to get it. It was obviously a reference to Severance. Everything I draw is a fucking reference. That being said, this post was made for awareness, not romanticization, and I do not ship them, neither romantically nor platonically, I just really like drawing them together, because of their iconic trope, canon interactions, mutual respect and shared spite for Slenderman, and the fact that HABIT helped Noah many times. That's it. Also, I wouldn't ship HABIT with anyone romantically. That is just wrong in so many levels.
Canyouseethewords blog and Sebastian's Journal:
If you didn't grasp the point of the Josef Mengele post either, go read Canyouseethewords blog here on Tumblr. It's part of the EMH lore. Basically, this blog belonged to Evan's girlfriend Stephanie, but HABIT takes over the blog later on and makes various posts about infamous real serial killers, such as Ed Gein, Jack the Ripper, and even the Nazi doctor, Josef Mengele. Whether HABIT wanted to imply that he's possessed those various people, that part of lore remains silent. At some point, I believed he's possessed those various people, so I wanted to to draw one of them, and I chose to draw Josef simply because I liked the idea of the connection with him and The Event from T12. That's it. And if that weren't the case that he's possessed any of those people, which would be rather a big relief, he's still possessed a different Nazi character in T12, which has been retconned. A character that no one really seems to know of, which is understandable. I get that some people don't want to analyze and support T12 anymore after what Adam did. In all honesty, I think sometimes it's best to separate the creator from the creation. I hate Adam, but I love T12. Anyway, in the story of Sebastian's Journal is a guy named Sergeant Heine who is (or was supposed to be) possessed by HABIT at some point. It implies to Severance where HABIT said he's been working with a group of Nazis on a particular project, including Sebastian. However, that connection has been retconned.
The HABIT/Nazi lore shit, people keep complaining and pissing about for no reason:
Listen, it was part of the lore for so many years that it's difficult to simply ignore it now. As someone who's been part of the Slenderverse fandom for years, going back, I just cannot think of it as a non-canon at this point. And I've already said the point of HABIT's character, and you all should know this by now. However I'll clarify it again anyways. The point is that he's an abomination of all the horrific actions humanity has committed, including atrocities of Nazism. He's done so many bad shit, as if eating a baby on screen wasn't enough, yet, of all the things he's done, people get mad over him being a former Nazi?? Like are you kidding me.. It's so ridiculous and hypocritical.
However... When I think about it, maybe HABIT was never even a Nazi, I mean- Working with them is one thing. He probably doesn't even give a single fuck about some ideology bullshit. He likely participated in the Nazi party purely for the sake of killing people. He wouldn't care less if his victims were Jews, Romani, or anyone else, he simply enjoys killing people for the sake of torture. Heck, he doesn't even remember the name of the party he was in. In Severance, he stuttered when trying to say ''Nazis'', which, in my opinion, was funny as hell. But that one is just an idea of his character.
Anyway. Even if HABIT wasn't a former Nazi at all, would it change anything? Absolutely not. He would still be the same horrible piece of shit he is. And sorry not sorry, but he was never meant to be a likable character. As a well-written antagonist, yes. But as a person? Hell no, so far from it. There is literally no reason for people to get mad over him being a former Nazi, and if you are, it's hypocritical of you, considering everything else he's done.
I must say one more thing, and it's the only thing I'm truly sorry for is that I didn't put content warnings and explanations on those posts. I made people angry unnecessarily for my impulsive actions.
I think that's all. Perhaps I've learned something by the end of the day, and I hope that at least some of you who are reading this, have learned something as well. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this (if you have), I appreciate it so much. See you on the flipside.
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