#I've done that time and time again ... so I'll be fine
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gguk-n · 2 days ago
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Where Do Broken Hearts Go? (Lewis Hamilton x Reader)
Series Masterlist
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It all happened so quickly. Lewis didn't mean what he said; he never meant to hurt her. He didn't mean all the shitty things that left his mouth. He loved her and appreciated her; he knew how much she gave up just to support him and be there for him. It was not supposed to go as far as it did. Lewis knew now, as he sat in their empty apartment. Y/N's friend had come in the other day and collected all of her stuff. They didn't even talk to him or entertain him for that matter. They did what had to be done and left. Lewis watched as they took the place they had built together apart, piece by piece.
Lewis thought that if he gave her some time to calm down, she would be willing to listen to him. He didn't expect her to move out so abruptly. He then, tried to reach out to her but it was of no use. It first went straight to voice mail and than nothing at all. He tried texting her and soon realised she had blocked him, everywhere.
Lewis tried reaching out to her friends, no use, since they wouldn't talk to him either. Lewis went to all the places that they used to visit but didn't find her at all. She had disappeared without any trace.
He was stupid and hoped that she would come back. But he wasn't sure at this point. He looked high and low for the love of his life. As time went on, he could only replay the moment again and again and he couldn't help but cry; wishing he hadn't said what he had said.
"Y/N, you're acting unreasonable" he sighed. "Unreasonable" she almost shouted. "That woman was all over you and I'm being unreasonable" she asked. Lewis sighed, exasperated. "You always do this" he began. "No I don't" she cut him off. "You're the one who forgets you have a girlfriend" Y/N pointed out. "I don't" he reasoned. "Lewis, this isn't the first and I don't believe this will be the last time" Y/N explained. "I've always been quite low in your priorities. And I always hoped that one day it would change but it's been years and still I'm not on top of your priorities. I tried to let it go, I even tried to give you the benefit of doubt but I can't anymore" she explained. "They were right" he muttered. "What?" she asked shocked. "That you would leave at a minor inconvenience" he stated. Y/N sighed, exhausted from having to explain herself all the time. "Fine. Than I'll make it easy for you. Have a good life" she said before grabbing her bag and leaving. Lewis had expected this to be like one of their previous fights, but he guessed she probably had enough of him since she never returned. It was as if she had disappeared from the face of the earth.
No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't find her. He wondered how much he had hurt her that he couldn't find her anymore.
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disposal-blueeee · 1 year ago
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another super self-indulgent chapter 20 / 21 drawing
edgar belongs to jhonen vasquez
scriabin belongs to @zarla-s
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sysig · 10 months ago
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Time Loops are they/them culture (Patreon)
Bonus of my little guy in ISaT style:
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#Doodles#Pixel art#ISaT#Siffrin#Loop#And then I still don't have even a code name for smol and my time loop concept lol#I'm sure you can imagine my excitement upon seeing a time loop RPG <3#Not to be silly but the thought of either of us picking up the wavelength and running with it is fun to me haha ♪#I...may or may not have developed brainworms about it it's fine lol#Good characters! Good story! I'm always a sucker for a tragedy with bright spots <3 It's hard to even call the ending bittersweet tho hehe#It's very sweet! Like sugar :) Hehe#Shock of shocks I - person who has done this how many times now - liked the dynamic between Sif and Loop best haha#Is it spoilers if it requires past knowledge of my faves hmmm inconclusive lol#These were just introduction doodles - not even Getting Used To doodles yet a step before that!#Fun designs :D I like Sif's hair a lot <3 The way it's two-tone because he likes black! Adorable! And cowlicks hehehe#And eyepatch hehehe Sif's design is so fun ♪#What no my time loop shop keep lad having a hat like that has no bearing! I'm completely unbiased! Lol#For the pixel art I did directly just use Siffrin's hat in shape haha I just added the belt and buckle ouò#Man it's been too long since I've played with pixel art it's still so fun <3#Someday I'll get Aseprite. Someday#In the meanwhile it was fun to make their colour palette :D#I love that ISaT is in black and white canonically as well I think it's really cool ♪#Me when monochrome red 💕💖😭🤌💗#It is simply The Best colour palette out there I'm sorry others need not apply#Again my pencils and blood pen surely give away none of my biases because I don't have any lol#Hrmng I want SASASAP too pixel art cool - the glow up in ISaT is only strengthened by looking at the original closely!#Ah well I'll just admire at a distance until then <3
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throughpatchesofviolet · 2 months ago
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I think I'll be leaning pretty heavily on my kins, these next few days ... whenever I feel out of sorts, going to them makes me feel better.
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raiiny-bay · 1 year ago
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my favorite edits - 2023 edition 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9
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beneathsilverstars · 29 days ago
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i hate my ex so much they said they were gonna go on our kid's field trip today and now they're like i might have to work instead bc i planned badly :( if i say i cant go will i be tortured and skinned alive :( like buddy stop making this about you and your anxiety i'm not gonna reassure you that it's ok to not show up for your kid. it's your choice, if you think it's necessary than just fucking do it and accept the consequences. actually you know what maybe i'll just say that to them
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kimjiwoong · 2 years ago
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alexis got back with his ex
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allsassnoclass · 1 year ago
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hazel what if u <3 wrote more of ur vigilante au <3
good news! i will!!!!! eventually!!!!
i have an ask box prompt from megs for it, and the more i think about it the more a "tortured for information" whump piece is appealing to me..... that being said i am currently fighting tooth and nail to finish a fic for a big bang and it is sapping All of my writing time, so I can't guarantee a timeline, but i'm hoping to knock out more of my ask box prompts by the end of the year so that would include one for the vigilante au!
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running-in-the-dark · 1 year ago
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hm. am I downloading Night Court right now? possibly.
#don't know if I care yet#tbh I have never seen John Larroquette in anything ever (and it will take me a while until I can spell his name without checking 3 times)#before the librarians#so. I don't know. if it's a character specific thing. or if I just think he's cute. or if I think he's cute now but not when he was younger#but I will find out#because honestly it's possible that it's 90% his voice. very good voice. best voice. love it.#hmmm okay no I've just watched a clip on YouTube and he really is just very cute. damn.#annnd. oh noo. I have to check something#oh crap Brent spiner was born in 1949. that means this is. if my brain decides that this is gonna be something. the first time it's someone#older than my dad :') don't like that#but! my dad's dead! so who gives a fuck!#I'm fine. :)#(also damn I'm lucky my dad was so very very old. otherwise that would have happened much sooner)#(guess I'm joking about that now! interesting development)#anyway yeah he cute. though cuter now tbh. might be the belly. idk. this is very confusing and unusual for me#especially. since. the other crush. is not even close to being over. that's not something that happens. and it's already very bad rn. soo.#that should be interesting. maybe I should just forget all about it and not look at him again when I'm done with the show in a few hours#that'd be best I think (doesn't mean I'll listen to my own advice. he is a man and he is cute so. I've already lost)#it's just. I see Jenkins and it's like. JENKINS!! 😍😍😍😍 I'm very weak#and he's so funny 😔#sigh.#just be normal 🤦🤦🤦#i don't know if it makes it better or worse that I'm fully aware that this is most likely happening because I'm in the middle of some sort#of crisis right now and that's how I've always coped but. eh it is what it is#trying to be nicer to this stupid brain and all that#let it have fun looking at an old man it's fine
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sysig · 3 months ago
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Coding woes (Patreon)
#Doodles#Original#Ukadevlog#Bug testing sure is something lol#These are both problems I've figured out now luckily! And I did them on my own! :D Extra pleased with myself :3#My slightly cocky attitude of ''Well that was frustrating - luckily I'll never run into another problem again'' amuses me lol#'Cause in the moment everything's flying! The code comes together lovely and it's all great! And then I come up to the next thing#Something I haven't done before - something that there's no Direct how-to of how to do a thing#Like setting player-and-character pronouns! I didn't know how to do that! But I figured it out!! :0 What a rush haha#It really did take me an evening of knocking my head against the wall in attempts - I waaaayyy overcomplicated it to start haha#I was like - trying to set up a system that would call on specific pronoun sets individually based on player input#Ridiculous - so much easier to just slap some values into an envelope and have those tied to a specific shell lol#But that took all night! I got sleepy while working on it and even my drowsy brain was like Wait...what am I supposed to check against? Haha#Such a weird experience subconsciously as well :0 'Cause I had normal dreams that night#Maybe some slight code-adjacent dreams of A Screen With Text On It but that could be anything :P#Most of it was just normal dream melodrama - but in the few times I woke up to readjust or roll over or pull my blanket#It was juuuuust enough for my ''conscious'' brain to kick in and think about what to compare against - what structure would work#And so by the time I woke up proper I had to frantically write down a bunch of code in a spare word document so I wouldn't go stir crazy lol#Breakfast must wait! Dailies must wait! I Have to write this down!!#And when I implemented it - it worked exactly as I hoped it would and is much much Muuuuuch simpler to call upon haha#Wow! That was a weird fluke that definitely won't happen again! Haha#I don't actually believe that I just have no way of guessing which aspect will trip me up - This Should Be Easy! And then it isn't lol#Definitely didn't predict the second - Especially because other than a small roadbump of not knowing how to Shell-Switch (ty again Cherry ♥)#Everything up to then was going well and everything after that was going fine! Until The One Thing happened pffbtl#I wanted to assign a value to check if a specific piece of code was being called upon - basically a fork between two outcomes#That went fine! The value Was changing! But only the first fork was being called???#No lol I just didn't put the second = ugh pft - and what's more frustrating is that I'd been using == up to that point!! I'd been warned!!!!#I - for some reason - was convinced that using && would make the value check Only need to check If x = 1... That's not how it works......#It's an If statement! If x = 1 then why do I have to check IF x == 1! Just check!!! Hwagh rules and whatnot lol#Like I said it's all fixed now but sheesh! What a silly mistake! I knew better!! And now I double know better haha
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biracy · 1 year ago
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Tbh I should probably take a break. I almost definitely won't but I should, yknow
#idk i don't have much 'real stuff' happening irl besides like. job hunting and college applications. so it's hard#but i think if i at least ease off some time on here n read a little more n watch more movies i might start to feel better#haven't really liked where my head's been at lately it feels like whatever persona is The One Who Blogs is 'taking over' more#to put it in a very dorky comic book-sounding ass way LMAO but that's how i feel! like i'm losing my own 'voice' yknow#my mental health is Bad my physical health is also Not Great n i kinda feel like ass. if i'm being honest#idk i feel like i'm crashing from whatever high i've been on for the past couple of days n i'm not Really super happy w myself#except the media literacy posts those were good. but like the more discoursey stuff i'm not proud of#again sorry to like. publicly vent LMAO i'll be fine i'm good. i'm trying really hard to pull myself out of this#but again. sorry abt the Shite i was posting earlier today i wasn't really in my own right head#just kinda wanted 2 get all that off my chest idk if it's clear that i don't really have anyone i feel like i can talk to right this moment#i'm very socially isolated irl and i'm so scared of becoming socially isolated online too just bc i'm an idiot who doesn't think b4 he post#NOT to make it sound all about me or whatever but it's true. i'm very very scared of losing people n right now this is My Space#i'd forgotten just how bad it felt. in this Specific case it is kinda my fault tho LMAO don't worry i've apologized as best i know how#okay i'm done. i'm done. i'm gonna go watch tv and go to bed i hope#open mick night
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dandyshucks-moving · 1 year ago
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woah rare other system part sighting lmao, here's a Guz drawn by not-Juno
#I was working with the base they laid out so I had to fudge some shit because they'd laid out the neck and shoulder weirdly RIP#like the head is too far over to the right lmao but I didn't feel like erasing a bunch of it to fix that#the hand behind the wrestling box corner thing is also goofed lmao#turning rbs off but Juno (Dandy is vaguely a cross-system name so it feels weird calling them that) might post the art later better#I don't know how they edit their photos but I think I maybe got close lol#this guys fun to draw tbh love a rough n tumble boy lol he's got the same body type as one of my OCs except Stasis is mostly a robot LMAO#dandyshucks#dandy doodlebugs#<- I'll add these just in case ig ?? idk Juno do what u want with this even if it means deleting it lol hope this is fine for me to post#ALSO THIS WONT BE A REGULAR OCCURRENCE LMAO I was just super bored tonight and happened to switch in during Juno drawing this guy#probably won't ever happen again lol#our drawing styles arent super different I think but also this is using a base they laid out so I would've done it differently lmao#maybe it is different though - apparently I'm not a good judge of shit like this bc they say I write and play accordion differently somehow#but I thought I was doing a pretty good job the other day of doing it like they do lmaooo but nah they said it was all noticeably different#I'm chatty tonight sorry lol been a hot minute since I've had any time in front but I'll scoot off now#💜so good at being in trouble
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asimplearchivist · 4 months ago
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hrrhhhrrmrm...velmgarb...*indistinguishable gnawing noises*
#fisara's scrawlings#I am. crawling on my hands and knees.#one week. after literal years. o n e w e e k.#god. I am unwell.#all the homework I'm looking down the barrel of for this week and next so I might get to play it when it drops has me so upset#like I know I shouldn't pressure myself and I can always wait til thanksgiving break since we get the whole week#and I doubt it'll finish downloading that night anyway#but! I want to play it on release day! I want it to be a new holiday for me! I want to light one of my candles and and and—#i'm consoling myself that if I don't have enough time I'll at least indulge in the character creator and get my rook and inky set up#god fenalan and enaste are going to look so good after I'm done with them :')#I've said this before but for all my non-DA followers I apologize. again.#I will never be the same again after this game releases and I am so sorry lol#I plan on going dark during that time to avoid spoilers as well but I'll post about it closer til#I've been fine with all the stuff so far since it's been act one (according to BW) but I just know that people are going to blaze through i#so I'm terrified of seeing anything late game#I almost always end up spoiling myself on things accidentally before I get to experience them and I want this to be different#that's what I have trouble wrapping my head around.#I don't know what's going to happen. this is all entirely new for me. it will never be the first time I play the game again afterwards. god#someone sedate me.#anyways yeah woohoo for trying to slog through homework tomorrow :')#I am. so tired.#the next couple of weeks are going to be the busiest of the semester I fear#weeeeeeee for my cortisol levels#I need to go to the gym so bad#anyways rant over lol ily whoever decided to read all this lol *blows kiss*
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sysig · 3 months ago
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You say “Jump” I say “Forget it” (Patreon)
#Doodles#Vent#>:/#It was fine at first and then everything very quickly took a bad sharp turn >:0#I've had the great fortune to not have to Deal with someone being intentionally Bad Authority over me for a while now#So when it happened I was caught a bit unawares - they made it very clear that I Was Being The Problem (in their opinion) so I took that#Took about a day to realize Hey No Wait - they were being intentionally rude to me and then turned it back around on me how very uncool#Luckily I never have to see this person again! But it does mean I get to go shopping for an alternative egh#I know it's a power trip thing but really - I'll never understand people who go into a profession about Being Good At Thing#And then shaming others for wanting to make sure they are in fact Good At Thing - if I have concerns shouldn't it be easy to assuage me?#Someone who doesn't Know Thing? You can just be like ''Yes look at this thing I know'' but no - ''Why are you questioning me?''#Because I don't Know You! Geh blegh#Whatever it's over now - I'm more armed for next time as well#Expensive learning experience not one I cared for >:0 But I Have learned and Will apply it so pfbtl#I was offline at the time too so I didn't have my usual ways of taking information out of my head and onto screen to parse haha#I do love data gathering! Digital compartmentalization tends to be easier but pfbtl - more learning more things to apply it's fine it's fine#Doubly unsurprising I had a spike of low days following as well gah - I would love to be unaffected and just say ''It doesn't matter''#Just excise it from my head and be done with it! But no chemistry is wack thanks#At least there was a bright spot here and there <3 Silliness can be had even in with the frustrations and thank goodness for that#Blorbo projection helps a bit where I can sneak it in (lol)
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thingsidrawgohere · 3 months ago
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Alright. I'm calling it done before it kills me. This is Second Head. It's an Art Book containing instances of the phrase "second head" in fanfics found on AO3. I'll explain much, MUCH more in the cut.
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So when I say 'art book', I mean this is an intrinsic piece. I have no motivations aside from personal amusement and interest in outcome. A lot of money was lost/transmuted into free frustration in this project and I have no claims, obviously. I will prolly be the only person alive to read this.
THAT SAID. I have noticed in my years reading fanfic, there's a few linguistic shibboleths that arise in authors who also have experience in the mines. I think there's not a soul alive who hadn't wandered across a 'ministrations' when reading Narutos oral sexing. There's- Hold on. Here's some pix.
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There's an impulse, I think, to in-group even when performing a creative act. A feeling that there are certain ways one Should go about the act, by virtue of seeing it performed that way. Especially so when 'training' at the act is often just Doing. Double Dog Especially when the act is exclusively for oneself with very little oversight. Which is to say, we make what we see and we make what we think we should make. At least, at first.
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Now, I've been noticing 'grew a second head' (to insinuate surprise) in fanfic for some time. I've never seen it used Outside of fanfic. (Edit to add: I am not making the argument the phrase is from fanfic. Nor do I Believe it is from fanfic. Jesus Hopping Christ, people. That's not what this project is about.) That may speak to my own bad habits but it got me curious. So a friend and myself downloaded a mirror of AO3 from July of 2024. He did some code- Stuff to scan the mirror for "second head" and of the ~13 million works, ~70k (English) results were returned. That's a rounding error, honestly, but Far FAR more than I expected.
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This book is 401 such examples that I personally selected for a variety of reasons. The number itself was arbitrarily chosen. Each page is separate fic, the roughly 300 words around our key phrase.
I don't think repetition or mirroring is a negative thing. I think it's quite charming. Nor do I think it's a sign of a 'bad' artist or 'bad' art. I think it's a signifier of personhood, of belonging, of enthusiasm. Of culture shared and wishing to share. I think it's real sweet. I always smile when I catch a 'grown a second head' in a work.
And it's really fucking funny when it's John Sherlock getting a sloppy toppy. Bless.
Edit: Fixed a very VERY funny error.
Edit: I am not making the argument that the phrase is exclusive to fanfic or, fucking forbid, FROM fanfic. I'm stating this Again because we skim here. Also- If you would like slamdunk my ass by stating the phrase predates the Internet or your GenX parents use it, please use 'sailboat' in your comment so I know you're specifically trying to kill me.
Edit Edit: You know what? Fine. I DO think this phrase came from fandom. I think ENGLISH came from fandom. I think YOU came from fandom. I think EVERYTHING came from fandom. The Sun, the Moon, the Seas- Fandom. Specifically Sonic Mpreg. The second head was Shadow the Hedgehog crowning. Congrats!
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mystic-mae · 2 months ago
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i need some motivation to do shit, so like... notes thingy i guess
100 notes - water consumption for the body. marching band season made me realize i dont drink enough fucking water out here. (alright, i guess i need water now... I WAS DRINKING TEA EARLIER. THATS CLOSE ENOUGH, RIGHT??)
200 notes - food consumption, i guess. i'll try to eat 3 full meals a day. enough to make my body full and stuff. (gods dammit. well, i already ate breakfast and lunch, and i have leftovers from lunch, so, i guess dinner's all set for me.)
300 notes - homework completion. i've been lacking in my homework game, and i definitely need to improve it this semester. (...i'll start my chem homework tomorrow since saturdays are my rest days, okay??? MOST OF MY WEEKEND HOMEWORK IS DONE BUT THANKS FOR CARING, CHAT)
400 notes - writing hobby. i need motivation to write lore for my dnd campaign (#runaway ruler dnd / #convict ruler dnd / #ruined ruler dnd universe if you want to follow along my shitposting for that) (i already started shitposting for runaway ruler again, so check it out. I WILL WRITE LORE FOR EACH ARC DONT WORRY IM JUST BARELY GETTING STARTED ON THE SECOND ARC SINCE ITS VERY LONG)
500 notes - animation gift. i'm making a little valentine's gift for my spouses, and it's gonna be 1:34 seconds long... I need motivation to actually animate lmao. (i'll do bits and pieces throughout the week. don't worry, i plan to figure this out [i haven't animated in months, and even then i barely scratched the animation surface])
1000 notes - script memorization. i uh... need to memorize my silly little script for a production coming up in a month. im performing in front of kids so like... the script's pretty short and easy. im the antagonist in my cast >:]. (sick, let's go. i love myself some memorization.)
2000 notes - chest binder shopping. i'll ask my parents if i can get a chest binder. ive been meaning to get one for myself for some time now. im getting desperate for one. (i suppose i'll ask today or tomorrow... or over the weekend- that's when most of the shopping happens, anyways.)
3000 notes - leaving the closet. i'll come out to the rest of my family that i'm trans, aromantic, all the nine yards about my lgbtq+ identities. i'll definitely have to schedule a good day to do that. (HELLO??? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?? OKAY FINE I'LL FIGURE OUT A DAY. I'LL COME BACK TO YOU WITH THAT-)
4000 notes - researching possible colleges across my state and outside my state. because i wanna get out of here.
5000 notes - order a suit. preferably black or purple. because i need more gender affirming clothes in the formal department.
EDIT: do however many notes you want. i know i said 10 notes per person earlier, but like... go wild i guess
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