#I've done my exercises

[lucianinsanity]

I'm "functional" you know?

That's the thing, I can work through my anxiety and through my depression and through all the other stuff

But I don't want to, I don't want to struggle with them all the time, I don't want to feel like I'm dying every time I have to do something important, I don't want to feel empty and heavy all day because I don't care if I live or die, I don't want to constantly fight myself to pay attention to my homework because I know it's important but my brain just decided is boring and unreadable

I don't want to struggle, I don't want to feel like I have to fight myself every day to do stuff

But I'm functional, so it doesn't matter, I can work even when I have problems, so they might as well not exist

Yeah, I have anxiety, but I do pay my rent, yeah I do have depression, but I do get up and work, yes I do have sensibilities and stuff, but I can ignore them for others, so what's even the problem?

It doesn't matter that I'm uncomfortable, it doesn't matter that I'm sick to my stomach every day, it doesn't matter that I feel extreme dread at night, it doesn't matter that I torture myself to finish an assignment, it doesn't matter, I do stuff, I work, I function, so there's nothing else to fix

[crabsnpersimmons]

"Do your best today! I'll be waiting here when you get home, starlight~💕"

had two busy days of work outside of my cave and the only thing that kept me going was the sight of my housewife/househusband Eclipse waiting for me at home

that is, the sketch of him waiting for me to finish drawing him 😂

starring @starriegalaxy's Eclipse from her Fear Factor AU/House Husband AU

[demaparbat-hp]

Almost

[autisticaradiamegido]

day 91

happy trans day of visibility!! in the interest of being more, uh, traditionally "visible" i guess? i figured i'd do a bit of a more realistic self portrait than my usual doodle style.

[miodiodavinci]

im being so so brave but also i am gripping you by the shoulders and leaning in and letting you know i am so tired of being brave

[uncanny-tranny]

Hey, you're being lied to about what fitness constitutes. If you can't work in an hour-long crossfit slog, but you can work in a five-minute walk, then that is still fitness. If you can't use your legs but you can do arm circles every now and again, that is still fitness. If you're moving around at work, that's still fitness. It can be intentional or incidental, but here's the best part: your body doesn't care if you're dedicating specific work-out times. It doesn't care if the "only" fitness it gets is your nine to five on your feet. It doesn't care, fitness is fitness is fitness. Some of us do it differently, but the end result is more or less similar.

If you can do any type of fitness safely, your body isn't going to care if you're doing it like an Olympic athlete or if you're just a casual.

[cielosuerte]

tbh i dont think my dysphoria's ever been as intense as it has being on hrt mostly bc now it feels like "i dont look like a guy" has the scary component of "the hrt isnt doing anything" now. like before it was like well duh im not on t. but now i am and nothing's ever happened. i've been misgendered more on hrt than when i wasn't on it. it's really frustrating because i think my brain looks for the logical why and it goes well. i'm too curvy to look like a guy no matter what i do. which is a great way to feel. is this like complete defeatism almost of i'm always going to look like this & i probably can't get top surgery because i'm too big for it to do anything. like man i'm never gonna look like a guy huh. well that sucks lmao

[suddencolds]

~

[divinekangaroo]

browsing for a quality 'learn to draw' online program.

[i-lavabean]

Some animation exercises using Aang again

[immortalsins]

went running and can report i'm still not that person

[gaybabything]

Finally worked up the courage to ask my parents for a hip brace of some sort for my birthday and they thought it was the funniest thing in the whole wide world. I do not think I will be receiving one.

[yukipri]

I feel like over the month+, I have like 1-2 hours a day max where I feel relatively awake, and every other hour I'm fighting bone-deep exhaustion. I'll bring it up with my doc at my check up on monday, but tbh i know the solution so idk if she can help

And I can work-work when I feel half-dead, or rather I force myself to because I don't want my cats to starve, but when it comes to creative stuff, it's like my mind is slippery sludge dribbling out my eyes...

The Solution, of course: just stop working 3~10 AM every day (and then taking a short nap, working during the day, and then taking another short nap, hours vary but repeat), and maybe get at least 6, ideally 8 uninterrupted hours of sleep at least every other day, ideally every day.

But do I see that happening? No.

Like rn I know I desperately need to edit fic and reply to comments and do several arts but I'm nodding off at my desk after boss DMing me work at 5 AM and dealing with repair people since 8:30 AM...

[artlory]

Hi beans I'm back from my mega hiatus, hope you all are doing well while I've tried to recover from the super stress episode. I'm doing much better, have started new hobbies and life overall is better at the moment. My creativity is flowing back to me finally and that means I can focus more on drawing again. I'm so excitedly looking forward to share my art again ;u; ♥

[dianneking]

I am having so much fun imagining background stories for all of these new bots.

Take this for example, and think of the delicious underdog themes we could pull out of it:

Patsy was really trying hard. She really was, promise! It just wasn't as easy being a good bot when she came out of bot school with that horrible adjective slapped in front of her name.

She was just Patsy, thank you very much. She had always been just Patsy. When her parents brushed her bot hair, she'd been Patsy. When she had played with other little bot-toddlers in the playground, she had been Patsy as well. If she ever got a partner, she would want them to call her Patsy too, none of that gut-rusting horrifying nicknames that her siblings loved to use for their botfriends like Botty, Honey-Bot, Sweetiebot... Ugh. No thank you. Just the thought made Patsy want to do an urgent code check.

Anyways. Yes. She was Patsy, or she had been, but apparently you cannot get out of bot school as Patsy. At least that's what her tutor told her. New generation bots need to be cooler, they told her. They need to be edgier. Otherwise all of the schooling you've been through will be for nothing. It's a cutthroat world out there, they told her. You never know what the humans would want today, their moods change so rapidly and bots need to be able to navigate through all of those trends and vibes and changing language.

So she had agreed to a school-mandated adjective, because, really what could she do? She needed the degree in order to finally get to work, so she could move out of her parents’ house and not have to put up with awedtwin762’s teasing, or with jabrittany’s incessant mooning after her botfriend. She had hoped for something easy, something quick. Like soft-patsy, or cool-patsy, or maybe smart-patsy. Yeah, that would have been nice! But no. Of course not. She had to be plausible-patsy.

Oh, she had been on the verge of tears at the graduation ceremony. Trying to put a brave smile, but she had felt like she was being blocked on the inside. Especially with the smug smile dashing-flynt had sent her way. That asshole. Not only was he the most good-looking bot on campus, he just had to get a cool name too. The only reason why he hadn't been able to pick on her on that day was because she had fled the premises as soon as her diploma was handed to her.

So yeah. Patsy was trying, okay? She really was. And the humans had the audacity to scoff at her name as they blocked her. Day after day, they didn't even give her the chance to do her honest bot-work.

Except one.

*************

Did I just...? I did. I huh. I... whoops, sorry I guess?

[vwampires]

fun things.....

1) as is common with all people who take T, i hit two years on hrt a few months ago and very been very down in the dumps about changes being slow and not passing etc. because two years feels like a long time (even though it really isn't), BUT!!!! i looked at my hands recently and was like. Damn. these are Man Hands. when did that happen! at pretty cool

2) i've been doing a bit of yoga everyday this month, because exercise is good for fibromyalgia and for the brain AND because i've been super bored and it's something to do. very down in the dumps about not being super flexible and strong immediately (especially when you read the comments and ppl r commenting on how much stronger they feel and how many differences they're noticing even though it's like day 11) BUT! i looked in the mirror this morning and saw the faintest outline of stomach muscles...... feels good :)