#I've been suddenly in a mood I dunno

[yoinkschief]

This is gonna sound crazy but I think I should've made his tits bigger I think they're too small

[lunarhoneybunny]

hohohohahaa

[entitled-fangirl]

Choose me.

Cregan Stark x reader

Summary: the reader reveals her fears. Cregan is there to reassure her that they are of no consequence.

Masterlist

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"You've haven't been yourself as of late," Cregan noted as he entered their chambers. "What ails you?"

She looked up from the sofa, only to look away again, "Nothing. I… I am fine."

He sighed, fully entering the room and beginning to untie his cloak, "I'm tired of us ignoring one another. Let us put this past argument behind us."

She bit the inside of her cheek, "Forgive me for being so easily irritable."

He threw the cloak on the bed and rounded the back of the couch, leaning down to her. "I had never heard you raise your voice before."

She sighed, "I don't believe I had until then."

He kissed the crown of her head and moved away from the couch. "Why do you suppose that is then?"

She set her embroidery project aside, "It does not matter."

He frowned, "It does to me."

She shook her head, "It's only… the issues of a woman."

He moved in front of the couch now, tilting his head curiously, "your moon blood?"

She shrugged lightly, "Something of that sort."

He shook his head and sat next to her, "Don't do that. Don't shut me out."

"You deal with enough of your own problems, as well as the North's. You shouldn't have to deal with mine as well."

"You are my wife. I am supposed to love and care for you. And make you happy. Please allow me to."

She shifted to lean against the arm of the sofa and pull her legs up to her chest, "My body has been complicated as of late."

He gently pulled her legs out and onto his lap, caressing her ankle softly, "Complicated? How so?"

"My mood is off as if I have no control."

He paused in thought, "The only time I've witnessed this is during your moon blood. It all adds up, does it not?"

"I am not bleeding."

He frowned in pure confusion, "I thought-"

"I've not had it yet."

His brows lifted, "Ah. I see. When did you last have it?"

She hesitated and pulled her legs up to her chest again.

He sighed, "Answer honestly, please."

When she looked up at him with watery eyes, his expression softened, "Why are you crying?"

She rested her head on her knee to avoid eye contact and sniffled, "I dunno."

He shuffled closer and gently lifted her head to look at him. He wasn't going to let her avoid his gaze, "You're crying. Tell me the reason."

Her eyes welled up with more tears as she looked at him, "I'm frightened."

His brows furrowed, "Frightened?" He wanted to scoff, but it was clear this was no joking matter for her. "Of what?"

"Death."

A shudder went down his spine. He pulled her up and into his lap, "Tell me, my girl. Whose?"

She placed her hands on his chest and stared into his eyes, "Mine."

Cregan paused. "Why in the names of the old gods and the new would you be frightened of that so suddenly?"

She took a deep breath and her voice was barely heard, "I believe I'm with child."

As if ice cold water had been dunked on him, Cregan froze in place. "W…What?"

She pulled away and wiped at her cheeks.

"You… you're sure?"

She nodded, "I've not bled for… two months now."

He let out a shuddered breath. "I won't let anything happen to you."

"I… I can't…"

His eyes widened, "You can't what?"

She pulled away from him further and began to move from his lap.

His face fell, "Wait, no. No, no, no. Don't pull away, please."

He reached out frantically to pull her back, but she flinched away from him.

She began to lightly sob as she stood there.

Cregan stood up as well, holding his arms out wide for her, "Sweet girl…"

"You won't pick me."

He paused, completely lost, and beginning to panic, "What? What are you talking about? I'll always pick you." He stepped forward, "What do you-"

She flinched away again, harshly wiping at her cheeks when more tears came. Her breathing became more rugged as the moments passed.

He sighed lightly and spoke softly, "You've got to calm yourself. You'll faint panicking like that."

The breathing continued and she began to see stars so she sat herself on the floor.

He quickly knelt down, careful not to get too close, but near enough to comfort her.

She sniffled, "Like Aemma… you… you'll pick the babe over me…"

He suddenly understood. 

"No," he said firmly. "No." He reached out, pulling her hand from her face to get her to look at him, "I won't. I would never pick the babe over you. Never."

She sniffled and shook her head reverently.

He felt his chest constrict. "You must believe me. Please."

Her eyes studied him intensely.

"If it came down to you or the babe, I would choose you. Every time, I would choose you."

Her voice was a croak, "You don't know that."

He felt like crying himself. "I do know that. Do not…" He took a breath to calm himself. "I love you more than anything. Trust me."

"Aemma trusted Viserys."

He shook his head, "What King Viserys wanted more than anything was an heir. I just want you."

Her puffy eyes met his, "What if you change your mind?"

"I am not changing my mind- not ever. Understand?"

Her eyes watered again, but she nodded.

"I want this with you. This child." He sighed, "But if you are in danger at any point, I will choose you. Without hesitation."

She sniffled as she considered his words.

He held out his arms again, "C'mere."

She clambered into his lap, practically melting into him once there.

He held her tightly, determined to reassure her through touch alone.

"You're my girl. Death will not find you while you're in my arms."

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Cregan Stark taglist: @misswynters, @cosmosnkaz, @sithapprentice, @kaniromi, @lovemesomevesey, @its-jackie-bb, @callsignwidow, @8812-342, @nyxbranwenn, @thorins-queen-of-erebor

[peachhcs]

locker room antics

hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will blurb)

macklin pokes at will like a younger brother and the guys in the locker room are just the same as the guys back in boston

1.4k words

woot woot another post! i really believe macklin likes to poke at will and ask him embarrassing questions because he can —also i don’t know the sjs guys that well but i thought it was funny to recreate will getting caught with hickeys like he did at bc

au masterlist

"wait, why do you drive with one hand like that?" macklin observed the way will's left hand sat atop the steering wheel while the other just rested on the center armrest.

"because i do?" the blonde was confused.

it was not even eight in the morning yet and the two boys were on their way to morning practice—hardly awake to even be functioning correctly. will's never thought about the way he drove until macklin decided to pick him apart just now.

"it's so..odd. you're just..driving with one hand. isn't that uncomfortable?" the younger brunette kept poking with his questions and boy was not in the mood for it this morning.

"do you have a problem with my driving? don't forget i'm the only one that can drive right now," he didn't really snap, but macklin drew back for a second. he studied his friend's expression, eyes glancing towards the two polaroids stuck onto the sun visor above will's head.

it suddenly made sense.

"ohh, i get it. you drive with one hand so you can hold samy's when she's with you," macklin laughed, but the blonde was still confused. he didn't get what was so funny.

"yeah? sure? and?"

"nothing, nothing. i just think it's cute that you probably made yourself learn to drive with one hand so you could like hold hers," the brunette continued laughing to himself. all will did was roll his eyes, not very amused by the conversation.

"wait, have you guys like..done it in here?"

when will didn't answer immediately macklin literally gasped and started freaking out (or pretend freaking out), "oh my god you have! you have! was it where i'm sitting?! please say no, please—"

"mack, chill. chill. we've never "done it" in my car before, i promise," will was quick to shut down any ideas, face flushing.

"but have you in a car before?"

"why are we talking about my sex life at 7:45 in the morning?" the forward cringed knowing it was way too early to be discussing this.

"i don't know, you tell me," macklin shrugged.

"dude, you started it," will countered.

"you didn't answer my question," the brunette crossed his arms, turning away like he was mad.

again, the blonde rolled his eyes knowing it was too early for any of this, "we have, yes, but not in this car i swear."

"that's fucking crazy, man. how does that even work? like..there's not enough room," unfortunately, the younger hockey player really didn't know when to stop talking.

"you just make it work, i dunno," this conversation needed to end.

but wow, was macklin persistent, "but like what position makes sense? is she on top? are you?"

"dude. i'm not talking about this anymore," this time will really did snap and finally, his friend shut up, leaning back into the seat.

"but like can you tell me what's the biggest you've ever been?" his voice rang through will's ears not even a second later.

"how the fuck am i supposed to know that?" the blonde exclaimed.

"i don't know? you've never measured yourself before?"

"no, i've never measured myself before. why are you asking me this?" they rolled onto the street much to will's relief which meant this conversation was gonna be over really soon.

"i'm just curious. i'm nervous that when i get a girlfriend i'm gonna do it all wrong, so i figured you would have some expertise," macklin shrugged and his answer sort of made will feel bad for snapping a second ago.

he rolled them into their usual parking spot, rolling into park before he turned to his million question friend. "i promise, you won't do it wrong no matter what. it just happens naturally and you both kind of fall into the movement and moment i guess. you got nothing to worry about, man," will tried giving his best advice he knew.

"okay, okay, thanks smith. sorry for the questions," macklin grinned while the blonde playfully rolled his eyes.

"yeah, whatever. come on, let's go in before we're late and we have to do laps," the two climbed out of the car, grabbing their bags from the back and walking up to the rink together.

"okay, but one more question, i promise. how long do you last?"

"macklin—"

"okay, okay, sorry. i'm done. don't answer that."

—

will slid into his stall, exhausted from the long practice and ready to head home for a much needed nap and food. he reached around for his phone to check for any important messages, smiling when he saw a good 10 texts from samy.

he liked when she texted him nonstop about something even though she knew he wouldn't answer until later. it gave him something to look forward to.

"someone's smiley," bordeleu noticed his teammate's grin, nudging will's shoulder to grab his attention away from his phone.

the blonde looked up to an expectant look on tom's face. "what's got you smiling so much?" the older boy teased a bit and catching the attention of the others around them.

"just texting my girlfriend," will answered, watching his teammates raise their eyebrows in surprise.

"girlfriend? you got a girlfriend?" jack poked his head into the conversation, smirking.

"you should hear them on the phone together. so sappy," macklin added his input and quickly everyone became surprised to learn of this apparently new information.

"no way our rookie's got a girlfriend. who is she? meet her at boston or something?" eklund and the others' anticipation grew while will's face began turning into a deep blush at the sudden attention.

"i think you guys know her pretty well..we're playing her brother in two weeks," macklin continued before will could. it took the guys a second, but the realization slowly set in.

"no fucking way. you're dating samy hughes?" the disbelief was clear on their faces.

"uh, yeah..you guys didn't know?" the blonde chuckled, standing up to get himself ready for a quick shower.

"uh, no. we didn't. you're telling me you pulled the little sister of some of the best hockey players in the nhl right now?" jack questioned and will slowly nodded.

"we grew up together so she was just kind of always there," will didn't really get what was so exciting and shocking about his relationship, but maybe he was just desensitized because he grew up with the hughes siblings.

the boy pulled his shirt off, searching for a towel and a change of clothes when a small gasp escaped someone's lips. he pulled his gaze to his right where macklin's hand covered his mouth trying to stop laughter from coming out.

"oh my god..holy shit," bordeleu got out and the other two boys whistled which drew in the attention from the even older guys.

"what?" will was confused and oblivious to everyone staring at the pretty purple and red splotches on his chest.

"you're telling me little hughesy left those?" ecklund poked will's arm and the boy's eyes shot down to his chest. a deep blush spread from his neck to the tips of his ears as he finally realized what everyone was staring at. shit.

"guess you went a little too hard when you were in michigan," macklin teased and the others quickly laughed. will knocked his friend's head, glaring at him.

"i guess hughesy can bite. impressive," jack nodded in approval and the poor forward was getting serious deja vu—living the same exact scenario that he did in boston after he visited samy.

"you definitely got the girl, w-2. she's a real keeper if she can do that to ya," bordeleu patted the blonde's shoulder before walking away. the others winked, leaving the rookie's alone for now.

"looks like our new rookie's been getting some!" goodrow exclaimed, making a show by clapping his hands for the now very embarrassed blonde. macklin joined in and then so did everyone else—all eyes on will.

"you better make sure her brother doesn't see those when we head to van in two weeks," the younger brunette said.

will went off to the showers knowing he'll never live that down for the rest of time and those guys would bring it up at any chance they got.

however, the hockey player still prided himself in the fact that everyone always seemed jealous that he got the girl and not them. yeah. he did get the girl and it felt great that no one else did.

[broareweabouttoviberightnow]

"Well someone's home early." Darry ruffles Pony's hair as he tries to slip past him 'n into the hall. Pony ducks under his hand, makes a small noise in hello. Darry immediately straightens up, notes the lack of work shirt he left with this mornin'. "Ponyboy Michael back it up 'n bring it here."

Pony lets out a long groan but turns 'n trudges back. Darry rakes his eyes over him. Pony stares at the ground. "Why are you back so early?"

"'Cause I got fired ok! Jesus!" Pony throws his arms up, stomps the ground, 'n whips his head to look back at his older brother.

"You what?" Pony lets out a huff 'n quick smart Darry's hand flies up to cuff him around the ear. "Pony this is the fourth time what the hell happened? And let me tell you it better be a damn good reason."

Pony can only match Darry's glare for a moment before he drops back down to starin' at the carpet. "I kinda called a customer a bitch."

"You huh?"

"Look, Darry, you weren't there so lay off, ok! She was talkin' to me like a was trash, alright? I dunno. She was actin' like I was stupid 'n she called me a son of a bitch 'n I told her I wasn't her damn son last I checked." Pony hitches his shoulder 'n Darry is suddenly glad Pony's scowlin' down at the carpet by the way his lips twitch. It wasn't funny.

"Ponyboy Michael since when has it ever been ok in this house to call a woman that?"

"Since she deserved it real bad." Pony mutters 'n Darry's fingers catch his temple. "Ow."

"I outta skin you just for that."

"Aw, Dar, look. I'm sorry, ok? I ain't discriminatin' or nothin'. If she'd have been a guy he would have been actin' like a bitch too." Pony scuffs his toe on the floor 'n Darry shakes his head in bewilderment.

Glory, sometimes Pony would say somethin' 'n it would make Darry feel like he was twenty 'n Pony was fourteen again 'n Pony's moods were enough to make him want to put the kid's head through a wall. 'N then he'd blink 'n they were sixteen 'n ten 'n he actually would. But that one hurts a bit 'cause then they had someone to holler 'n make them make up.

"Pony, how old are you?" Pony rolls his eyes, already knows Darry's line.

"Too old?" Pony glances up 'n Darry arranges his features into a passable impression of their ma's does it look like I'm laughin', mister? glare.

"Too damn old." Darry nods firmly. "You're sixteen now, Pone. You need to get a hold of that mouth. How many times are we gonna have to have this conversation?"

"Too damn many times- yeouch!" Darry's palm clips the back of his head 'n Pony's hair falls into his eyes.

"Don't you go gettin' fresh with me lil' boy." Pony's dry humor suddenly falls away 'n he's spittin' mad.

"Darry, you wouldn't get it, alright? I'm sick of workin' for a bunch of assholes who treat me like shit 'n takin' bull all day from people who look at me like I was born to spit shine their shoes. You just don't get it." Darry sighs, rubs a hand over his eyes.

"Pony, c'mere." This has become their routine. Back 'n forth, stern, sarcastic, angry, tired. Pony seethes but allows Darry to push him to drop down into one of their kitchen chairs. "I wouldn't understand, kid? I've been bustin' my back since you were twelve on the roofs of people who think greasers were born to bag their groceries 'n clean their floors. If anyone gets it, Pone, I do."

Some of the tension drops out of Pony's shoulders 'n he worries at his lip.

"You think Soda likes havin' to work on the cars or people who treated him like a failure 'n a dead-end dropout when he quit school?" Pony winces but Darry is damn tired of havin' to chase the kid around his own self-righteousness so he drives the lesson home with, "Do you think Dad liked patchin' up shingles from dawn til dusk? Or ma washin' the clothes of the women she used to meet after school who married up 'n moved west 'n forgot all it took was a bit of bad luck to end up right back on the East side? Sometimes the world ain't fair, Pone. Don't mean you get to lose your temper every time someone gets your goat."

The angers dropped right out of Pony 'n Darry sighs, pulls his chair so the kid can lean against his chest. He does without hesitation.

"I'm sorry, Dar. Sometimes... I dunno. It ain't fair. You're ten times the person those assholes in their fancy houses will ever be. Soda don't deserve to be treated like he's stupid. I just... I dunno. How do you deal with it?" Pony pulls his head back, blinks up at him with those green eyes that look like the sea after a storm's rolled through.

"Y'know... back when I first started workin' with Dad, a thousand years ago," Pony snorts, "I was mad about that all the time. God, I couldn't stand the way they looked at him. The way they talked about us. I didn't know how the hell he did it." Darry strokes his hand absent-mindedly through Pony's hair 'n he presses closer to him.

"It was just too much for me one day. We were behind schedule 'n behind on men 'n the guy who had hired us was hollerin' his head off 'n I turned right around 'n socked him right in his nose." Pony sits back suddenly, eyes round in surprise.

"You?" Darry chuckles, brushes Pony's bangs off his face.

"Yeah, kid, I don't know why you're so shocked. We've had enough fights to last a lifetime." Pony rolls his eyes, shifts around in his chair.

"I guess, I dunno. You always have it so locked down."

"Yeah, well, I do now. But it took a lot of time. Glory, maybe you were too young to remember properly but I swear sometimes I turn around 'n it's like dealin' with a younger me." Darry snorts at a memory 'n Pony raises an eyebrow. "I remember one time ma had gotten so sick of me 'n she told me she hoped one day I had a kid just like how I was to give me the same grief. Glory, I think she'd be laughin' now."

Pony's smile is a little wet but it's there 'n Darry won't mention it as long as Pony doesn't point out Darry wipin' at his eyes with the back of his sleeves. "What did Dad do? When you punched that guy?"

"Well, he was plenty mad. He sat me down 'n I told him it was unfair that we had to take whatever kinda treatment they decided to give us. 'N he grabbed me by the shoulders 'n looked at me like he always did when he was real serious 'n he said Darrel you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar."

Pony's face twists up in confusion 'n Darry laughs. God, he could look straight back through the years 'n picture himself starin' up at their dad the same way. "What does that have to do with anythin'?"

"I'll tell ya, kid. He dragged me back in the next day 'n made me apologize 'n then he shook the man's hand 'n left him with this sticky sweet smile 'n promise that he was real sorry for me 'n my behavior. Then he hauled me up a ladder 'n showed me how he would repair the man's roof so it would hold for another six months. Exactly. 'N when we left he shook hands 'n left him his card with the offer to come back if anythin' else ever went wrong. 'N you know what? The man was so impressed with his attitude 'n his work when that roof went up again in six months he called dad right back."

Darry chuckles 'n refocuses on Pony whose jaw is damn near on the floor. "That true?"

"Now, don't go makin' a liar out of me. Every word."

"Shit. You know? That sounds just like Dad."

"And he was right. Look, it sucks kid. It does. People are never gonna look at you like they should. There are always gonna be assholes who think they're better than you. You keep your damn head up 'n it doesn't matter at all. You fix the roof. 'N if it leaks you make sure you make yourself a lastin' impression."

Pony bites his lip, plays with the bottom of his shirt. It takes another minute but he nods, shoots Darry a lil' grin. "You know, I'm sure I left an impression."

"Yeah, like the type of impression I'm about to leave on your ass, kid." Pony yowls indignantly 'n dives off his chair to get away from Darry's snatch. Darry doesn't go for him again, settlin' for rollin' his eyes 'n not meanin' it at all.

"Hey, Dar?"

"Yeah, kid?"

"I'm gonna go back to the store tomorrow 'n ask for my job back. D'you mind... vouchin' for me?" Darry studies him for a moment. Pony's heart always was too big. The unfairness would always hurt. But the kid would figure out how to muddle by. Darry had.

"Sure, Pone. Just this time? Don't go ruinin' my reputation by callin' no one a bitch." Pony grins 'n opens his mouth. Darry cuts him off with a pointed finger 'n a raised brow. "Even if they deserve it real bad."

[makeucrawl]

I would love to see a Coyle/Eastermen drabble id your still up to requests 🥺👉👈

Maybe Eastermen realising hes not the only guy who thinks Coyle is hot and getting jealous? Perhaps reminding Coyle who owns him (Nsfw)

“ShockTherapy” ship

!!WARNING!!NSFW!!

Dr. Easterman had been sitting at his desk, working on paperwork for what seemed like an eternity. He tapped his pen on the desk, feeling slightly bored. His gaze moves to the screen on his desk.

There was a trial going on, and he watched as Sgt. Coyle stabbed a man in the chest with his cattle prod. The officer looked pleased with how the unfortunate reagent's body thrashed on the ground.

Just as the doctor pondered about visiting Coyle later, he noticed something else.

One of the guards behind the enclosed area appeared to be trying to grab the prime assets' attention.

Coyle appeared interested and walked over to the barrier. The two appear to be having a little talk, leaning dangerously close to one other on the fence.

Hendrick felt nothing towards the situation.

Coyle had always been a dog, so witnessing the officer flirting with someone didn't bother him.

It was only after the guard reached through the chain-link fence to grab the prime asset straight between the legs, did the doctor feel his eye twitch.

Coyle leaned closer to the barrier, a wild grin on his face.

The primary asset was thoroughly enjoying the attention.

He was enjoying attention.

From someone else.

Easterman looks away from the screen when he feels something wet on his hand. He had broken his pen, and the ink was all over his hand and on his documents.

With a heavy deep sigh, he shuts off the screen and stands up from his desk.

Coyle was being taken to the director's office. He didn't mind the chains on his wrists and ankles because he knew they would be removed soon. As they neared the massive doors, he smiled broadly.

He wondered what kind of fun they were going to have.

The guards lead him into the office before leaving the two alone.

"Ya just couldn't wait to see me huh?" The officer taunts and shakes his wrists, which are still tied behind his back. "Ya gonna come over here an take these damn things off or what?"

"What happened in the trial today?"

Leland raises an eyebrow at the unexpected question. "The hell you talkin about?…HEY! You said you saw all of my trials!” Coyle scoffs and continues. "Heh as usual I served justice to those stupid fucks." He puffs his chest up proudly, expecting praise.

"What else happened."

The doctor's dark tone was beginning to dampen Coyle's mood. What was it he wanted the officer to say?!

He started to think about everything that happened throughout the trial.

It hits him.

Easterman notices the officer's expression suddenly changing.

"Dunno what yer refferin’ to." Coyle struggles awkwardly on his feet as the cuffs begin to dig in. "Just get over here and get these fuckin’ things off of me! I am the law!!" He realized he was in trouble and wanted to at least try to defend himself.

As Dr. Easterman rose from behind his desk, the cop began to sweat slightly. "Oh come on! It ain’t a big deal! ‘Sides! It ain’t like you've been payin’ me any attention!”

"Oh? Are you looking for attention?”

The doctor grabs the sergeant's tie, tugging him close.

“Allow me to shower you with attention then.”

Leland was surprised when the other kissed him. It wasn't what he expected, but it was preferable to whatever punishment the doctor had planned. He was really enjoying the kiss the deep slow kiss.

Until he felt the other man begin to bite his lower lip.

Coyle struggles, but it seems to make matters worse. Easterman only stopped when he tasted blood.

"You f-fuckin psycho! T-That hurt!" The police officer stuttered, felt blood forming on his lip. He lets out a painful grunt as he is forced back into the couch. His breathing quickens as he watches the doctor crawling over him.

"Heh I uh..I think I've gotten enough attention.." Coyle smiles faintly, but Easterman simply stares down at him with those dark eyes.

The director loosens the prime asset's tie before working on opening his jacket and shirt. Easterman began kissing, beginning with the exposed bare skin of the other's neck.

Again, he was gentle and slow at first before becoming intentionally forceful and rough.

He works his way down Coyle's neck to his stomach, leaving bites and dark markings in his wake.

"Y-You…fucker!" Leland snaps as he sees what the other has done to him. Not even his collared shirt could hide the marks on his neck.

He watches as Hendrick takes something from his pocket, and when he realizes what it is, he begins to thrash.

It was a bright crimson collar with a big bell on it.

“Don’t you fucking dare!”

Easterman effortlessly places the collar around the huffing “dog's” neck. "You're honestly lucky I don't put a muzzle on you." The doctor spoke in a low, deep tone as he tightened the collar.

"But I actually have use for your loud mouth."

Hendrick now adjusted himself, practically sitting on Coyle's chest. He takes off the other man's sunglasses and cap before grabbing a fistful of the dark graying hair. His free hand proceeds to undo his belt and finally his zipper.

When the doctor notices the officer's face getting red, he smirks.

He taps the tip of his cock on the other’s lips. "Open."

When Coyle refused, Hendrick continued to press the tip against his lips and cheeks until he finally did.

The doctor brings Leland's head forward and shoving the entire length down his throat.

Almost immediately, the man choked and his eyes began to water.

He glances up to Easterman, pleading for air.

"Breathe through your nose, Leland."

Hendrick lets out a breathy laugh as he feels the other exhale heavily against his skin.

"So you can listen…”

He began moving Coyle's head, using his hair as leverage. The big bell on the collar loudly jingled with each movement.

"Then listen carefully….You're mine. Do you understand?"

The possessive doctor stares down at the gagged officer.

"You are mine. Y-You are goddamn mine."

Instead of cumming down the other man's throat, he pulls himself from Leland’s mouth before stroking himself to completion on his face.

Coyle clenched his eyes and winced as he felt the warm, thick fluid strike his face.

He groans weakly as he opens one of his eyes and looks up at the doctor. Easterman stood up and got off of the badly humiliated man, tucking himself back into his pants.

Poor Coyle lay there panting and his hard on twitched against his jeans.

"Do you understand now, Leland?"

"Yes..hnnn D-Doc..Cmon..”

The officer whines for his own release.

Easterman just chuckles at him.

"No."

He says this as he approaches his office's big doors. He opens one and addresses the guards waiting down the hall.

“You can take him."

"W-Wait!"

Coyle sat up quickly on the couch, not wanting to be seen this way.

"Goodbye, Sergeant. Have a good night's sleep. Remember what I told you.”

Easterman assists the police officer in standing and kisses his forehead before allowing the guards to remove him.

As they left, the doctor could hear the tinkling of the collar's bell and the guards mocking the prime asset.

Coyle would do well to remember who he belongs to.

[lexreadsdiversely]

I dunno how to phrase this. I try not to get too much into my personal life on this blog, mostly cuz I want to stick to reading-related stuff as much as possible, but this does count. It's just kinda heavy.

I'm just super grateful for what went down in January of 2024. Losing my girlfriend/best friend, falling apart, immediately deciding that I wanted to pick up reading again to fill the hole she ripped in me. Setting a goal for myself to strengthen my attention span and reading comprehension. I didn't realize at the time how important setting that groundwork would be for the rest of my life, now that I'm facing the very real possibility that I have MS.

I've had three attacks so far. The first, about 3+ years ago, I woke up one day and could barely move. The pain was excruciating. I went from being able to lift 50lb bags of dog food all day to struggling with anything above 10 lbs. I had to wear compression gloves for months just to be able to bend my fingers at work, and ever since I've had to use a chair for work. I suddenly became a fall risk because my brain wasn't processing my surroundings properly. At random points the world would appear to tilt and "split" and I would try to compensate for it. In doing so, I would accidentally throw myself into walls or different objects, or catch myself at the last minute from falling. Most of this got better, but my mobility has never been the same since.

The second attack left me with POTS-like symptoms, including horrible temperature regulation issues that I haven't recovered from. Hand tremors, brain zaps, processing multiple sounds at once as music rather than individual sounds. The visual and auditory hallucinations are kind of cool (like I could look at my fairies and watch them moving) if I ignored what it could mean. Breathing issues, chest pain, severe exercise intolerance. I started having episodes of what seemed to be cataplexy, and my insomnia and mood changes got significantly worse. Many of these symptoms got better. Some of them became permanent companions.

This most recent attack, however...I've been saying for a while that my memory is getting worse but no one was taking it seriously. They assumed it was just my adhd and it wasn't as bad as I was saying. But it is. I'm a writer, I have a decent vocabulary, but I'm forgetting basic words. I forget what I'm saying in the middle of a sentence constantly, and I can't backtrack the way I used to. Slurred speech, combining words in ways that don't make sense, skipping words, mixing up phrases, saying things out of order, intense stuttering. Speaking slower. I'm having a harder time hearing things, and my wife informed me that I've also been speaking much quieter lately. And the auditory hallucination of hearing music? Turns out it's often a sign of hearing loss. I'm experiencing blurry and double vision. It's getting harder to write legibly. I'm having uncontrollable muscle twitches in my face and arms.

Much of this will probably get better. Some of it won't. It seems like if I do have MS, I probably have the relapsing-remitting type, which is a small relief. But it's scary. I've faced the possibility of many diagnoses that would cause my immune system and mobility to deteriorate, but now I'm facing one that will cause my cognitive functioning to deteriorate along with my body, and that feels so much scarier.

But hey, I started reading again. Before this most recent attack that has had a huge impact on my cognitive functioning, I successfully improved my attention span and comprehension. I learned to fight that part of me that needed a tl;dr for every post above a few hundred words, the part that thought videos longer than a minute were too long. I started teaching myself new skills again, and absorbing more complex information. I knew it would make a difference but I didn't realize just how much until now.

I'm going to get some activity books for things like vocabulary, problem-solving puzzles, math, etc. I'm going to practice writing every day, find a good pen that requires less pressure, look into disability tools. I'm going to go for more walks and do my PT exercises regularly. I'm going to slow down at work, pay more attention to my body's limitations. Feed myself more. Stop listening to music at ridiculous volumes, but keep listening until I can't anymore. That day will probably come, and it scares the shit out of me bc music is my greatest passion, but I'll be okay. Get my hearing and vision checked regularly. Maybe I can get some hearing aids and see a specialist to get glasses that'll help with visual processing. Learn ASL. And keep reading, by god keep fucking reading.

And most of all, I'm not going to hold myself back anymore. I'm going to stop being so damn afraid of living. I don't know how long I'll be here, but I'm going to make the most of it.

[caffeinefafnir]

TL;dr: how a simple hobby keeps me from collapsing (bc we really don't pay enough attention to mental health as a society)

So earlier this year I was writting a fanfic and that's been like, the only anchor to sanity I've had for a long while. I started out on a whim one night and spewed out around 10 pages in one night. I've started at 11pm and stayed up till 5am writting. It's been such a fucking nasty year (bc all the shit started last November actually) where I've been struggling with family issues, health issues, being unemployed and struggling financially, and then the feeling of being left behind when my partner got a job and I didn't, and a lage etc. Suddenly in May I got posessed by this supernatural impulse to write a fanfic after what felt like a lifetime (around 13 years). Days turned into months, one draft became 5 separate stories abt the same characters, I discovered what whump was thus rediscovering something I was really adept to without even realizing it, followed closely several challenges althougth never pressured myself to participate (bc deadlines and I don't get along) and on top of that I started a completely new story of a genre I had never dreamt of exploring before.

Around June I was writting a super emotional scene of my side fanfic. My fave character had attempted suicide and failed, and it was a super heavy scene where she talked about this with a friend in the most nonchalant way (at first) and he was completely shocked and devastated. I was writting this at a cafe, my favorite one, and had to make a real effort to keep a straigth face while typing out bc I tend to act out the feelings as I describe them and my eyes were getting all red and wattery. But everything was fine and I got the full scene toghether. And... I felt so incredibly lighter and happier after that.

I've been trying to find an explanation for it since then. I've been battling depression since a long time now, 10 years, but I hadn't felt suicidal since a long long time ago. But I know too damn well the feeling of the symptoms of depression going away, and BOY what I felt was like a MIRACLE! The floating sensation? Just knowing everything is going to be better? Damn I missed that. I had felt it before a few times in prior years when something significantly good happened, when I went regularly to therapy, etc.

The weirdest part is that things weren't even particularly bad at that point, and even when they were the absollute worst around February I hadn't seriously thought about suicide not even once. It was more like homicidal rage at that point haha, but nothing about harming myself. I keep thinking about it ever since, how optimistic I was for the next month or so before my mood got worse due to environmental reasons. And I still went to that part over and over again to correct, add details and overall finishing the rest of the fic but this proved to be a difficult feat since I never could get myself into the same mood again.

And I'm like... what?? Why did this particular scene caused that blissful effect on me? I've never ever been in that exact situation, surely I fantasized about it (we all do at some point) and I know I'm far from cured of the depression for I still feel some of the indicators of its presence, but the change in me since I wrote those pages was explosive and intoxicating. Maybe I was channeling everything through my blorbo in ways I didn't knew I could, maybe it's just the fact that she got listened at without judging or being accused of faking it/being a failure/blowing it out of proportion, maybe bc she was feeling as lonely and unseen as I currently feel to the point you can disappear for days and nobody would notice (or at least that's what you tell to yourself)

I'm worried that if I tell all this to my therapist she'll institutionalize me haha. For real. I dunno what they normally do in these cases lol. Also I don't want to tell her yet that I write fanficiton since I´m not ready to explain an Xgen-er what is it and why my generation hype so much abt it

[crushedsweets]

I am so curious as to what you'd think about Nina and Hoodie as a duo. They've been two of my absolute favorites (even if Brian technically isn't even a creepypasta) since I was younger and I've always loved them as a sort of big brother/little sister pairing. They are so siblings to me I adore them. What are your thoughts on the sillies..

OHHH this is actually super interesting... but also im worried i do not have a lot to say because they won't mesh very well/very much. but i will try. not super realistic headcanons i think but what do i know... <3

brian isnt very present in my story, partially bc ik some mh fans dont like the crossover very much. and by time ninas in the story, i want him+tim to kinda separate from slenderman as toby and kate take over. he's still involved and coming around since he gets horrible slender sickness(but its from the operator) if he's away too long, but he doesn't live near or befriend most of the main cast..

nina is very present in my story because i love her and she is such a good and fun representation of the fandom yk. but brian is much more realistic and late 30s man, while nina is a very cartoonish early 20s girl. theyre on very different fields character and life wise...

BUUUUUUUUUT they would still meet of course.

she'd be bubbling around the entire cast, meeting people through jeff. people initially think she's in the same vein as jeff, natalie, and toby, with a LONG list of blood on their hands influenced by the operator, so they just don't think much about it. theyre mostly surprised by how cheery she is, but the proxies are the first to find out she's just... obsessed with jeff..... so thats very off putting. brian isn't fond of it.

nina would develop some light slender sickness(again, from the operator) just by being around jeff all the time, but the operator never infected her because he didn't see her as a worthy vessel. so, she would have to come to the proxies about it. if toby isnt in the mood or busy, she'd just have to hope brian/tim are around with some pills that'll soothe the pain

brian is more likely to help. with nina, he'd be quick to take on a more protective role, trying to console her as she cries on the couch holding her head whining about static.

initial convos would go smth along the lines of "do you want some coffee ? or uh kids like hot chocolate huh... maybe tea" "i'm literally in my 20s please tell me toby has weed somewhere" "that does not help with this pain i promise" "how would you know" "haha. water it is."

brian was a major stoner back in his early 20s and nina thinks its fucking hilarious. . . she'll try to get him to smoke with her but he's rlly not interested LOLLLL.... hes like 15 yrs older than her he thinks its weird .

again, he's not around a lot, but she's always happy to bump into him. she'd be squealing n shit 'HIII BRIANNNN how r u :3' and he'd just be like :) hey nina. and then never answer the 'how r u' bc he doesnt actually wanna sit and talk .

its a good change of pace. he's been through hell and back for well over a decade by this point, everyone around him is a sad sack of shit, and he spent a long time just. fighting to be an optimistic, cool guy to hang around . . but .... like.... um..... its hard to be that kind of person after all he's been thru. something about nina just forces that sort of like..... glee out of him . its not a huge difference where he's suddenly bouncing and giggling and whatever, he's still just Some Guy. but he'll be like :) lol .

mayhaps he'd catch her trying on toby's goggles and he'd offer to let her try on his mask. but nina would fake gag and be like 'no i dont want that dirty musty nasty sack on my head' and he'd be like ?????. then he'd say she can wash it and then try it on. which.. as an older sibling.... is the type of shit i'd do just to get my sister to do smth for me that i dont wanna do LMFAOOO. she might fall for it just cuz my dear nina is the ultimate fangirl

i dunno i kinda struggled with this one just cuz in my au, they wouldnt be all that close and the Type of characters they are don't mesh very well, but i am super fond of the concept and would love to try expanding on it more

[midnights-wish]

i dunno, this is probably just 'cause i'm tired so i'm in a bit of a whiny mood altogether, but tonight i feel kinda sad. also a little lonely. though nothing is wrong, tbh. i really think it's just 'cause i'm tired, & tomorrow everything will feel normal & good again. but today i've been thinking, and, you know, i just got aware again that i'm 27. which, overall, is not a bad thing of course. i guess it's just 'cause i'm a little vain & it's showing now that i'm feeling a bit weak, but i don't like aging. i mean, i would love it to wake up tomorrow & suddenly be 87, but i don't want to go through the process of aging, you know. but this is just me, i know it doesn't make sense. anyway, to get to the point, i'm 27. i'm happy with where i'm at in life, i'm happy with who i'm becoming, & i'm happy spending a lot of my time alone. but tonight, in this weird mood i'm in, i'd kinda love it if i had this special someone. you know? someone to tell me that this weird mood will be over tomorrow. someone like that, just for today. because i know that tomorrow i'll look at this post or just think of it, & immediately think to myself that this post is dumb & unnecessary, because i don't actually need someone like that. 'cause i like taking care of myself, 'cause i prefer spending most of my day on my own, 'cause i like to only be responsible for myself. or at the very least that's what i'm telling myself, i dunno. either way, tonight feels weird, & i don't like it. can't wait for tomorrow.

[leti666bigboss]

Hullo!

I've got a atsumu x sunshine!reader request where the reader gets insecure of being so positive because atsumu is grumpy and dismissing the reader. Angst to fuff!!

Thanks!

"Don’t."

featuring: miya atsumu x sunshine!gn!reader

genre: angst to fluff

warnings: none except i might have let some cuss words slide in

wc: 1,025

a/n: please excuse and tell me about any grammar mistakes. i apologize if atsumu is kinda ooc? the reader isn't very sunshine in this but i tried my best. also sorry if the scenario ended up abruptly i just ran out of inspiration but i still wanted to post this

You have been by Atsumu's side for quite some time now and out of all people he knows you best. Although he likes to keep a mysterious aura around him every so often, he's opened up to you a lot, so you're pretty much aware of how cold and tough he can be at times. But this? He's never been like this before.

"Ah? Dunno what got into him lately, his tosses are just getting worse and worse n' now he doesn't wanna talk to anyone" states Osamu. "Can I at least have a word with him?" 'his brother doesn't seem to be in a very good state either, so he's getting influenced by 'Tsumu's mood as well? I mean- well- obviously since they live in the same hous-' "You comin' or nah?"

As you enter your boyfriend's room your whole face lights up as if you just saw heaven standing in front of you. He's just sitting down, at his desk. Probably writing something, but he seems bored and unmotivated. You're the opposite of that, you're like a ball ful of happiness that just explodes from time to time and radiates positivity. That usually always comes in handy as it can lit up people's moods pretty fast, and that's always what you used whenever a close one was feeling down. So, with no second thought you just sprinted towards him with your arms opened: "HOW'RE YOU DOINGGGG MY ONE AND ONL-" "Don't". That was his only response? 'Don't?' Well, that was very much not like him. If he wasn't in the mood for affection by any means, he would just hug you with one arm and that's it. He's a pretty lazy person himself, so he doesn't bother with being overly-affectionate.

Back to reality, "`Don't"? That kinda shook you up, but not letting your emotions get affected by it... "Are you doing alright? Do you need anything? ANYTHING YOU NEED I HAV--" "Can you just shut up for a sec?" 'Well, damn that hurt..' you thought. But, without letting his words have too much of an impact on you, trying to keep your composure but with the same energy, on a much cooler yet optimistic-tone, you say "So, how have you been lately?" giving him a warm smile. His liveliness isn't on the same page as yours, though... "Good." 'Good? Well, it's great that he's fine, I mean that's exactly what I needed to know, he answered my questions, yet there's still something not clicking...' And there it was. Overthinking, overthinking and overthinking again. You always try to fight it- even so it haunts you. You've always been nothing but optimistic, trying to look at the bright side, even when there was a room with no light. Obviously that had always been facilitative, in spite of that, no living creature is a robot. You are human. You have feelings as well, and Atsumu seems to be forgetting that "detail" right now. At this point, all of these thoughts covered one minute, 60 seconds with zero dialogue, but full of tension and silence, but your boyfriend decides to break the ice: "What do you want, damn it?" the ice has been broken, yet at what cost if it's so cold? You're tired. And sick. From all of this positivity going to waste. You can't hold in your bottled up emotions no longer, so, you're just letting them out while having your mind blank and no shame: "What do I want from you? What do you mean what I want from you?" Your tone wasn't warm anymore. It was cold-hearted... and Atsumu could feel that. Suddenly, he is not-so-careless anymore, paying attention to everything, without saying nothing, astonished... "You've been so goddamn distant lately... I don't know what's gotten into you, but do something about it yourself! Since you can't accept my help. I'm tired from this NoN-cHaLaNt game or whatever it is that you're playing-" "It's not that!!!" "Then? And you're not the only once being influenced, just like an idea." "Listen, I don't know what happened, jus' everythin' started goin' downhill and suddenly I'm at a low point. I don' wanna bother anyone with my problems, so I'm staying alone, tryin' to solve 'em. D'you get me?"

Oh.

But was that seriously it? ""Tsumu. You wouldn't bother anybody if you talked about this. What's actually bothering me is that you're putting this barrier between us". You sat on his bed and patted the spot next to you, which he gladly took. Atsumu was looking straight down, trying to stop all kinds of intrusive thoughts from taking over his mind. Looking back at his actions and words, he realized that he was WAY too harsh, but time-travel is impossible, right? Instead of looking at the past and what he should have fixed, he decides to fix what should be fixed at the present moment. "[name]". "Yes, 'Tsumu?" 'What the hell? What do I even tell them? And since when have my own emotions become a problem to me?' "What's even--" Your words have been cut my him, enfolding in your arms out of nowhere. He didn't sob, cry or say anything either. It was just pure silence, you two have been sitting like this for like 5 minutes, you didn't mind it, though. 'Cause you'd rather have him like this than losing him completely.

After a hot minute, Atsumu finally spoke up; "I'm sorry". 'And I forgive you. Just- I don't know- Tell me when you're feeling down, you wouldn't be bothering me in the slightest way. And I'd love to help". "Yeah, okay. But sometimes you're being too clingy ya'know? Like cool it down...-" 'Ouch, that kinda hurt- but he's right'. "I'll try to'. As he said that, he literally embraced you even tighter in his arms; 'How ironic'- you thought. But you were getting used to that by now, he always says something and does the complete opposite- which is kinda funny, not gonna lie, although it's not always something to laugh or be happy about.

But, as of right now, you're just happy that you had fixed things with your beloved Atsumu.

[demonsfate]

I've already went over why TK8's story didn't work for Jin, despite the fact it was clearly meant to "fix" him. But since I am in a ranty / analytical mood today, I will go over it to add to the other post lol.

Jin's characterization is actually pretty damn good in TK8. It's the first time, since TK5, that Jin felt like the Jin I love. However... the characterization is where the good ends. The story still messes him up tremendously, if not WORSE... which? How tf can they even ACHIEVE making a bigger mess of the current mess? Especially with proper characterization?

It's what I've been saying since the start of this blog, they should've just retconned it. Like, it's even easier than most would think to retcon it. But they didn't. Dunno why, but they didn't. And it'd be one thing if they didn't retcon it and just had Jin say "I gotta redeem myself!" once, but... the problem is, they keep DOUBLING DOWN on TK6's story. They persistently remind the player about it... except only reminding the player about it on a surface level. Like if you didn't play TK6, or you've forgotten a lot about it - TK8 will literally just make you believe Jin killed all these people for no actual reason other than he was once a Bad Guy kinda like Kazuya. Who, btw, are both irredeemable in this context.

Every time TK6 is brought up in TK8, it's either to tell Jin that he's killed COUNTLESS people and only for Jin to essentially say "shut up!" or "but I'm learning to move on..." as responses. It... uh... doesn't put our main hero in a very good light when he can't even defend himself for these actions. And whenever Jin thinks back to it, he's like "wow I was bad but now I must atone myself!" again, NOTHING actually tells you what he did in TK6 beyond the war, and WHY he did it... you just have no clue about this character's motivations and why he's suddenly good again. And honestly? If you're a longtime player, you're probably still confused about it!

To this day, most people still believe Jin started the war to purely get rid of the devil gene. That is a very incorrect misconception. Getting rid of the devil gene was merely a bonus for Jin. Jin's main goal was to save the world from Azazel, since Azazel suddenly came to him and said "yup I'm destroying the world someday". Then there were just two other goals Jin figured he could do along this main one. The second one being that he theorized there's a possibility that killing Azazel would get rid of the devil gene, considering that Azazel's the origins. (Very flawed logic when you think about it but that's TK6 writing for you). The third reason was that uhhh... he thought he could end corrupt governments????? That was thrown in at the end of TK6, likely something to force his goals to seem Slightly Better.

If TK8 really wanted to present Jin in a better light, they could've... REMINDED US IN THE STORY OF THE GOOD REASONS WHY JIN STARTED THE WAR?? That, according to TK6's writing, it's something he HAD to do, had no other choice?? Or at the very least, they could've mentioned his goals to topple corrupt governments was a success??? But no.

And that's another problem. All of Jin's reasons for stopping the war had failed. Killing Azazel: Failed (at least during the war, he supposedly successfully did it when fighting Kazuya) Destroying the devil gene: Failed. Overthrowing corrupt governments: ????

So that fact that Jin failed every reason he started the war over, it makes him feel very incompetent, and also makes the war feel completely pointless in the first place. That all those people died for no reason at all.

The Tek wiki even does a better job at this by mentioning that Devil did indeed have an influence over Jin.

Which again, also would've helped if Jin wasn't in his right mind. So say, why didn't they.... oh right.

Because the Devil Gene is now no longer a "bad" or "good" thing. It all depends on what the host uses it for, and how they accept it. Devil [Jin] was never bad. In fact, he was only trying to protect Jin the entire time. 🙄 Which means Devil couldn't have influenced Jin to do something Fucked Up lmao. Jin was the idiot boy for not listening to and giving into his devil! Sure, at first glance, this seems sappy and a decent "accept yourself!" story, but it also falls apart when you remember the previous stories. Again, if the devil gene was never that bad to begin with - then it also makes a part of Jin's war pointless (even if, as I said, that wasn't actually a priority of his).

It also goes back to what I was saying about why fans dislike Jin. One of the reasons is because they believe he's "whiny". Which I always disagreed with that. Jin had every reason to hate the devil gene and most of his family. Except... oh wait, these changes do make Jin's haters' take valid. Because if the devil gene really could've been a beneficial factor for Jin, then Jin really was loathing himself, ready to kill himself, hiding from his friends & family... for absolutely nothing. The devil gene wasn't a problem and Jin was absolutely crying over nothing. Again, this makes him feel like a protagonist that just constantly fucks up. And not even an intriguing line of mistakes, but just frustrating. It makes Jin out to be a very bad protagonist, and an even worse "hero" for our story.

So uh... yeah! Even if on surface, TK8 looks like it portrayed Jin well... once you start looking at it critically, really looking into all the changes and choices, you realize it actually made things worse for Jin. Which is just absolutely wild how they managed to pull that off...

[resurrection-of-soul]

Flashback | PSYCHOBREAK 10

Writer: Akira (日日日)

Characters: Rei, Adonis, Koga

[ For the best viewing experience, please read directly on my blog! ♪ ]

Time: One week later. The day before the battle to subjugate the "vampires," now named "Flashback (tentative title)," as well as the day UNDEAD first met.

Location: The graveyard located at the Hasumi family's temple.

Rei: Ghosts 're great, ain't they? ♪ Ghosts 're great, ain't they? ♪ Forget about workin' or studyin', let's just hold a concert at this here graveyard~ We'll start at noon~ ♪

Adonis: What's wrong, Sakuma-senpai? Are you drunk?

Rei: I ain't old enough t' drink my problems away~ It might be easier if I was, though~ ♪

Adonis: I am not sure what's going on, but you seem to be in an unusually good mood… There's been a gloomy atmosphere around you lately, so this is a bit of a relief.

Rei: Ohhh… Ya actually noticed I've been feelin' down? That's amazin', real impressive. Even though people often claim ta love or respect someone, humans generally don't care enough to pay much attention ta others' affairs or try ta understand 'em.

Adonis: It's simply because I've known you longer than the others have, so I was able to notice the difference sooner.

Rei: So modest. Even my little brother, who's been with me since birth, doesn't bother to try n' figure out how I'm feelin'. Even though I try to get his attention by goin', "Hey, hey, can ya guess what big bro's thinkin' right now?" too.

Adonis: Won't that just make him think you're annoying and cause him to dislike you?

Rei: H-he won't dislike me~! Even the bible states that a younger brother will love his older brother as much as the older brother loves his younger brother!

Adonis: Is that so? Then my opinion was mistaken, and I apologize.

Rei: Adonis-kun, has anyone ever called you a joke killer?

Adonis: Killer…? I try to keep a low profile to avoid such dishonorable nicknames. I am a foreigner. In this country, even if I do not want to stand out, I unavoidably do. It's sad, but I often get stuck with strange labels, and mothers with children often become unusually vigilant around me. That is why I believe I should behave like a good kid who is excessively docile, earnest and harmless.

Rei: Hmmm. It seems you've got such keen eyes, ya end up seein' things ya shouldn't even bother lookin' at. How the hell did I get it into my head that a kid as well-behaved as you was behind the "vampire" attacks? I've kiiinda got this unsettlin' feelin' my thoughts're bein' guided by someone else, n' it's been particularly bad recently. It's like some stranger's forcin' me into the role of a character in their story. It's seriously creepy. Is this just a common thing durin' adolescence? What do ya think, Adonis?

Adonis: I do not know, but… I do agree it seemed out of character for you to suddenly assume I was responsible and condemn me as the culprit. Fortunately, it seems the suspicion has cleared up, but to be honest, it hurt a little. I found myself thinking, "So even Sakuma-senpai doesn't understand me?"

Rei: Ahh, I'm very, very sorry, okay? Ya know I really do love ya, right?

Adonis: It isn't a matter of whether you like or dislike me. It is about perception and understanding.

Koga: …The hell have you guys even been goin' on about? We were supposed ta be practicin' for the showdown against the "vampires" today, but… That — what was it, Hakaze or whatever? — guy ain't no~owhere t' be seen. And just when I'm thinkin to myself, "Finally, Sakuma-senpai's here!" you n' that guy over there, umm…

Adonis: I am Otogari Adonis. I've introduced myself several times, haven't I?

Koga: Right, Adonis…. You n' Adonis just keep talkin' about toootally unrelated bullshit. We seriously gonna be okay like this? Can we really beat the "vampires" at this rate? Though a' course, we're invincible as long as you're here, Sakuma-senpai, but—

Rei: I dunno 'bout that~ I might just betray ya again like I did durin' the "Dead Man's Live," y'know? It's troublesome if ya depend on me too much, cause I'm fundamentally a pre~etty unmotivated kinda guy. If yer worried about it, ya should try n' motivate me, Pup¹~♪

Koga: I dunno if this'll motivate ya, buuut… For that DreFes thing, I was thinkin', if we're gonna be doin' a live then we need at least one song to sing, right? So I tried writin' some myself.

Rei: Oh? That's cool, very band-like ♪ Show me, show me ♪

Koga: I-it's not very well done, so please don't get your hopes up, alright? I just started getting into this hobby a few years ago, and I'm entirely self-taught, so it's all kind of messy—

Rei: Why're ya suddenly speakin' so politely? Cut it out, you're messin' up yer image. Durin' the "Dead Man's Live," ya spoke like you were gonna bite my head off, didn'tcha?

Koga: I was so excited back then… Now we're in a band together, and the closer I get to you, the more you seem larger than life. I-I didn't mean to get all nervous… I'm sorry. If it makes you uncomfortable, I'll go back to aggroing you again soon.

Rei: "I'll go back to aggroing you again soon" sure is a funny lil' phrase. ….Hmhm, mhmm? 'Kay, I've got your song memorized, Pup. Shall we go ahead n' give it a try? ♪~♪~♪

[ ☆ ]

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Rei calls him wan-chan (typically used by Kaoru) rather than the usual wanko here. It means the same thing, but sounds a little more diminutive and cutesy.

[ofpineapplesanddawns]

Can you write something with Lucian and vampire!Peter, with Lucian having ptsd or panic attack due to Sonja and her murder via sunlight, and that being... transferred? onto Peter?

You guys are in the mood for whump, aren't you?

Warning: panic attack, ptsd, mentioned death, Lucian still can't cope with things no matter how long it's been (and that's completely understandable)

On with the fic!

--

It had been a simple accident, no one's fault. Sometimes things break, in this case, it was a curtain rod.

It was a right place at the right time moment, or rather, a wrong place at the wrong time, when Lucian looked over at Peter as he entered the room with the fire pit. Before he had a chance to greet Peter, there was a small, metallic sound, and something dropped at the window.

A bright beam of light entered the room and Peter hissed, dropping his phone to cover his face as the sun shone on him.

It was bright, blinding, and for just a moment, Lucian didn't see Peter standing there in the light.

No, he saw his wife, tied to a mast by chains she couldn't break, burning alive in just a few, agonizing moments at the hands of her own father.

All while Lucian was trapped, chained to the ground, unable to do anything but watch her die.

Lucian was up and out of his chair in a second, completely ignoring the clattering of the chair or the startled noise Peter made when he wrapped his arms tightly around the vampire, shielding him from the sun.

He was safe, he was safe, Lucian was protecting him, he was protecting her and nothing would burn them alive-

"Lucian-!" Peter shouted, and it oddly seemed like he had been for a while now.

Huh?

Lucian felt his muscles ache and his body was so tense. His breathing sounded so loud in his ears, and he felt his fangs in his mouth.

"For fuck's sake, you're crushin' me!" Peter was squirming and suddenly he was on the floor.

It was darker here, this looked like Peter's bedroom, but weren't they just at the fire pit?

"What... what happened?" Lucian asked, his throat felt thick.

"I dunno, one of the mechanical blinds must've finally gave out and you probably got startled by the noise or somethin', wolf man." Peter huffed from the ground, blowing hair out of his face. "What the hell? I've never seen you do somethin' like that. You kept saying things in Romanian, and I think you called me Sonja?"

Lucian's heart dropped to his stomach. "I did?"

"Yeah." Peter looked up at him from the floor, frowning, his annoyance melting into worry. "You okay?"

"No." Lucian admitted, rubbing at his face. "I just... I saw you in direct sunlight and I-"

"You thought of Sonja, huh?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"You called me her name, which normally sounds bad, but in this case, I figured you were havin'..." He waved his hands about. "A panic attack. Trust me, I've had those quite a number of times."

Peter got up, dusting himself off a bit. "Did you forget that the sun doesn't kill me directly? Just makes me sick and burns me before it gets worse?"

"I..." Lucian swallowed. "I don't want you to get hurt."

"I'm fine. Probably a bit bruised from you havin' me in a bear hug. Wolf hug? Lycan hug, yeah, that. I'm fine. But are you alright?"

Lucian could lie and say yes, but he didn't. He just shook his head and Peter stepped closer, gently pushing him to sit on the bed. "It never gets easier, does it? It's been... six hundred years, right?"

"Yes. You think I'd be able to handle something like that better, but it's not... it's not easy."

"Never is. I still get nervous going to my room when the lights are off. I still jump when I hear somethin' make a noise in the night, like the air conditioner or a bird hittin' a window. Hell, I avoid crime scene photos cause I don't wanna be reminded of things that might look like my parents, or Ginger. God, it still feels weird using the elevator." Peter sat down next to him, taking his hand.

"It's alright if it's still hard to deal with this, Lucian. She meant everything to you, and it fuckin' sucks that you had to see her die in such a way. I know you hate using the sun to fight, or even the UV lights, but don't worry, I'm fine. Gonna take a lot more than a fuckin' ball of plasma to finish me off!"

Lucian looked at him, holding his hand tightly. "I just don't want to see you hurt, Peter."

"I'm fine, just saw a bunch of spots when it happened, felt a little too warm, but you stopped it from gettin' worse. That's gotta count for somethin', even if you had a panic attack."

The lycan sighed and leaned his head on Peter's shoulder. "I'm tired."

"Wanna be hairy and lay in the bed together so you can forget about things for a while?"

"That sounds lovely."

Lucian got up, stripped naked, and allowed himself to change into his lycan form. When he got on the bed, he found Peter no longer sitting on it, but curled up and tiny, furred, and winged on one of the pillows. He heard a squeak from the bat and laid down, watching as Peter flapped his wings and fluttered the few feet before dropping on Lucian's head. He curled up in the fur there and Lucian sighed, closing his eyes, a nap might help, especially with his (safe) boyfriend in bed with him.

[yoiku]

Man, last week... started off optimistic and ended up in the pits kinda.

We made plans for me to join a 15 month course to find fitting job(s) with the aim of going to said jobs and trying them out. Sounds good and is something i am interested in, but after friday all i've been thinking is that maybe it's too much too soon. I'm still thinking if i can manage 3 days of workshop/week instead of 2... so diving into something that can have 4-5x 6hr days/week is making me very anxious and already feeling bad if I end up not having the energy to do it. I think its the main thing that has dropped my mood bc I know that the chances of me getting a part-time job in any of the fields that interest me and are something i could be able to do physically, is pretty nonexistent. All of those fields have severe oversupply of potential workers against the amount available jobs, in the entire country. So the chances of getting employed as someone who doesn't have any substancial studies in the field, isn't able bodied or mentally okay... Lets just say it isnt exactly an encouraging thought. I just feel like no matter what I am entirely useless when it comes to any employment that i feel i could perhaps be able to do. If an able-bodied, neurotypical and socially capable person with a suitable degree can't get a job in those fields, what are my chances? lol. I dunno. Already feels like a failure if I muster up the courage to say that I feel like I've said OK to things that I'm not actually sure about. I'm sure they'll understand if I say i'd rather focus on getting back into 3 workshop days and trying to progress my rights for therapy for now. I don't know. I feel conflicted with my own thoughts. Part of me thinks I should give it a go even if I drop out - id at least be certain that it was too much. But I also know how heavily dropping out from anything hits me mentally, so i am genuinely afraid of seeing the bottom of the pit again. The psychologist at the current evaluation course did say she thinks taking things as slowly as needed is probably the best for me considering everything they've summed up abt me so far. I'll try to talk about it at least.

On a less depressing note, the results from the various psych/neuro tests were partly curious. My mathematical skills being extremely below average wasn't a surprise, lmao! But I found it curious that the one that was the highest above average was linguistic skills, followed by the less surprisingly above average spatial awareness that involved shapes, patterns and other stuff that i think any artistic person would excel at. Accuracy was great but speed was awful, lmao. Overall I scored pretty average on the cognitive side. Worth noting is that I am medicated now and I did take my adhd meds on that day as well, so that likely helped slightly with the accuracy and overall concentration. (a lot of the tests had a time limit) Interesting tests though, and I'm glad it gets written up into my files as well, because it's more proof to the fact that my autism is mostly affecting me on the social side of things. I would be really interested to take the same tests in a busy/noisy environment or with some sort of forced interrupts like someone asking you something entirely different suddenly and see just how much of a disaster that would be trying to get back into focusing on the test tasks then, lol. That's morely likely how things are after all if we think of these tests as a measure of how will you get by in the world of working a job, unless you really have a job where you get to work alone in a perfect environment for yourself. (man i love making art at home)

[e-adlirez]

I saw in your post you said that Nicky saves Violet more than Colette, which scenes are those? (Sorry it's been a while since I've read the books haha)

cracks knuckles Let's see :D

I actually dunno if Nicky saves Violet more, but Nicky definitely doesn't get as much credit for them as Colette does, which is weird. Give the Australian dumbass the praise she deserves >:[

Aight, let's do this tally style because I'm a tryhard. I'm definitely gonna do a full version where I discuss every single time Violet's almost died from an unfortunate nat1, sooooo

First time our nat1 holder requires help is when she rolls at nat1 in whatever-the-hell-not-falling-under-a-spell-falls-under-as-a-skill-check, and she's almost pulled in by lake fairies and their lake. Prolly did a nat20 in perception, but a nat1 in the uh the not-falling-under-a-spell stat.

Colette saves her from this one, so

Colette - 1 Nicky - 0

Second time kinda is when Violet and Nicky are paired together in Secret of the Snow, and Nicky helps Vi climb down a taaalllll ledge. Like reaaaallllllyyyy tall. Vi didn't roll any nat1s here, it's just a cute moment where Nicky is helping Vi through her acrophobia, and we love the two for it.

Let's consider this a 0.5

Colette - 1 Nicky - 0.5

From Cloud Castle onwards we get a transition in the mood of the series, from "traveling in a weird world full of weird creatures that also has a bit of beauty in them" to "haha fairy go weeeeee". Cloud Castle isn't the most atrocious of this particular instance because it does tie in cloud-related mythology, and it's the first instance of this whole fairy spam thing happening. Anyway, Violet and Nicky are separated for the big parts of this book so we're just gonna skip on over to Treasure of the Sea.

Treasure of the Sea is Violet's first catastrophic nat1. Yes, even worse than almost getting siren-ed. Picture this: there's this cursed Mariana Trench thing that magically pulls down anyone who does the stupid thing and looks into it. A magical wise character is on the other side, so not crossing it is not an option, thus this thing is the magical equivalent of trying to balance on a beam/tightrope without looking down, in the perspective of someone who has no experience in such. Oh yeah and you're swimming across, so it's more like uh... trying to keep your head facing up while swimming. Dem their necks are gonna be sore--

They make Violet's looking down so dramatic for some reason? I mean I get it, but at the same time I don't? She was like "yeah I feel like I need to look but I know I can't,,,, I CAN'T RESIST I'M LOOKING DOWN" "VIOLET NOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

I dunno? It just feels strangely worded? Written? I dunno, either way, Colette somehow resists the magic force of an abyss that literally no one in all of Aquamarina has been able to resist and pulls Vi up to the surface before she can be cursed and turned into a magic fish or something. Musta been the adrenaline, or Colette herself not being pulled down that made this a smidgeon easier. Dang that arm strength to lift all those shopping bags and violin training has been doing wonders for the both of them, somehow they didn't let go of each other-- /hj

OH YEAH AND NICKY SAVES VIOLET'S SUDDENLY DUM ASS FROM TOUCHING A PUFFERFISH AFTER AN INT CHECK NAT1, PAULINA DID YOU STEAL VI'S BRAINCELL AGAIN CAN YOU GIVE IT BACK PLEASE--

Colette - 2 Nicky - 1.5

Now we have Land of the Flowers, probably Violet's worst streak in the book series by far. Woman gets not one, not two, but THREE nat1s in it, each one worse than the last. Colette saves her from two out of three of them, that being the temporary amnesia flowers and almost-falling-twenty-feet-off-magical-stairs.

(Pictures' quality might not be as good because I'd been using drive PDFs this whole time and Land of Flowers doesn't have a PDF in the folder I'm using sooooo)

Unfortunately, despite Nicky being beside Vi in the illustration, it was Colette who saved her.

Colette - 4 Nicky - 1.5

She does have two nat1s in Crystal Fairies, but Will saves her from one while Paulina technically saves her from the other. As you can see this woman is forgetting her RNGesus incense and RNGesus is losing his patience about it more and more.

OKAY Star Fairies! There's only one nat1 Vi has in this one, and Nicky saves her from it. Probably my favorite save because this particular save is goated :D

Colette - 4 Nicky - 2.5

Finally, Magic of the Mirror. There's technically one where Nicky saves the girls from accidentally walking into lava, but technically she was at the front of the group, and anyone else would've done the same if they were in her shoes

Colette - 4 Nicky - 3

Then there's the scene where the girls have to listen to siren queen Esmeralda's song without falling under the spell, and Vi doesn't fare well in these particular trials, as we know. The problem is, as you can see here we don't know which among the girls specifically kept her from breaking from the group. It was more of a team effort thing.

So what is to be done? Should I just give both Nicky and Colette a point here? Orrrrrrr

Nicky and Paulina are closest to Violet in this scene that happens almost immediately after the trial, so point goes to Nicky :3 Am I grasping? Maaayyybbeeee

Colette - 4 Nicky - 4

And that's it! Turns out they kinda tied! Technically tho if you counted the minor occasions where Nicky helped the violin child as full points instead of half points, she would win 5 - 4. I rest my case :D

Oh yeah these aren't even all the nat1s Vi has had in the series. These are only the ones that either Colette or Nicky saved her from.