#I've been suddenly in a mood I dunno

[yoinkschief]

This is gonna sound crazy but I think I should've made his tits bigger I think they're too small

[lunarhoneybunny]

hohohohahaa

[entitled-fangirl]

Choose me.

Cregan Stark x reader

Summary: the reader reveals her fears. Cregan is there to reassure her that they are of no consequence.

Masterlist

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"You've haven't been yourself as of late," Cregan noted as he entered their chambers. "What ails you?"

She looked up from the sofa, only to look away again, "Nothing. I… I am fine."

He sighed, fully entering the room and beginning to untie his cloak, "I'm tired of us ignoring one another. Let us put this past argument behind us."

She bit the inside of her cheek, "Forgive me for being so easily irritable."

He threw the cloak on the bed and rounded the back of the couch, leaning down to her. "I had never heard you raise your voice before."

She sighed, "I don't believe I had until then."

He kissed the crown of her head and moved away from the couch. "Why do you suppose that is then?"

She set her embroidery project aside, "It does not matter."

He frowned, "It does to me."

She shook her head, "It's only… the issues of a woman."

He moved in front of the couch now, tilting his head curiously, "your moon blood?"

She shrugged lightly, "Something of that sort."

He shook his head and sat next to her, "Don't do that. Don't shut me out."

"You deal with enough of your own problems, as well as the North's. You shouldn't have to deal with mine as well."

"You are my wife. I am supposed to love and care for you. And make you happy. Please allow me to."

She shifted to lean against the arm of the sofa and pull her legs up to her chest, "My body has been complicated as of late."

He gently pulled her legs out and onto his lap, caressing her ankle softly, "Complicated? How so?"

"My mood is off as if I have no control."

He paused in thought, "The only time I've witnessed this is during your moon blood. It all adds up, does it not?"

"I am not bleeding."

He frowned in pure confusion, "I thought-"

"I've not had it yet."

His brows lifted, "Ah. I see. When did you last have it?"

She hesitated and pulled her legs up to her chest again.

He sighed, "Answer honestly, please."

When she looked up at him with watery eyes, his expression softened, "Why are you crying?"

She rested her head on her knee to avoid eye contact and sniffled, "I dunno."

He shuffled closer and gently lifted her head to look at him. He wasn't going to let her avoid his gaze, "You're crying. Tell me the reason."

Her eyes welled up with more tears as she looked at him, "I'm frightened."

His brows furrowed, "Frightened?" He wanted to scoff, but it was clear this was no joking matter for her. "Of what?"

"Death."

A shudder went down his spine. He pulled her up and into his lap, "Tell me, my girl. Whose?"

She placed her hands on his chest and stared into his eyes, "Mine."

Cregan paused. "Why in the names of the old gods and the new would you be frightened of that so suddenly?"

She took a deep breath and her voice was barely heard, "I believe I'm with child."

As if ice cold water had been dunked on him, Cregan froze in place. "W…What?"

She pulled away and wiped at her cheeks.

"You… you're sure?"

She nodded, "I've not bled for… two months now."

He let out a shuddered breath. "I won't let anything happen to you."

"I… I can't…"

His eyes widened, "You can't what?"

She pulled away from him further and began to move from his lap.

His face fell, "Wait, no. No, no, no. Don't pull away, please."

He reached out frantically to pull her back, but she flinched away from him.

She began to lightly sob as she stood there.

Cregan stood up as well, holding his arms out wide for her, "Sweet girl…"

"You won't pick me."

He paused, completely lost, and beginning to panic, "What? What are you talking about? I'll always pick you." He stepped forward, "What do you-"

She flinched away again, harshly wiping at her cheeks when more tears came. Her breathing became more rugged as the moments passed.

He sighed lightly and spoke softly, "You've got to calm yourself. You'll faint panicking like that."

The breathing continued and she began to see stars so she sat herself on the floor.

He quickly knelt down, careful not to get too close, but near enough to comfort her.

She sniffled, "Like Aemma… you… you'll pick the babe over me…"

He suddenly understood. 

"No," he said firmly. "No." He reached out, pulling her hand from her face to get her to look at him, "I won't. I would never pick the babe over you. Never."

She sniffled and shook her head reverently.

He felt his chest constrict. "You must believe me. Please."

Her eyes studied him intensely.

"If it came down to you or the babe, I would choose you. Every time, I would choose you."

Her voice was a croak, "You don't know that."

He felt like crying himself. "I do know that. Do not…" He took a breath to calm himself. "I love you more than anything. Trust me."

"Aemma trusted Viserys."

He shook his head, "What King Viserys wanted more than anything was an heir. I just want you."

Her puffy eyes met his, "What if you change your mind?"

"I am not changing my mind- not ever. Understand?"

Her eyes watered again, but she nodded.

"I want this with you. This child." He sighed, "But if you are in danger at any point, I will choose you. Without hesitation."

She sniffled as she considered his words.

He held out his arms again, "C'mere."

She clambered into his lap, practically melting into him once there.

He held her tightly, determined to reassure her through touch alone.

"You're my girl. Death will not find you while you're in my arms."

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Cregan Stark taglist: @misswynters, @cosmosnkaz, @sithapprentice, @kaniromi, @lovemesomevesey, @its-jackie-bb, @callsignwidow, @8812-342, @nyxbranwenn, @thorins-queen-of-erebor

[peachhcs]

locker room antics

hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will blurb)

macklin pokes at will like a younger brother and the guys in the locker room are just the same as the guys back in boston

1.4k words

woot woot another post! i really believe macklin likes to poke at will and ask him embarrassing questions because he can —also i don’t know the sjs guys that well but i thought it was funny to recreate will getting caught with hickeys like he did at bc

au masterlist

"wait, why do you drive with one hand like that?" macklin observed the way will's left hand sat atop the steering wheel while the other just rested on the center armrest.

"because i do?" the blonde was confused.

it was not even eight in the morning yet and the two boys were on their way to morning practice—hardly awake to even be functioning correctly. will's never thought about the way he drove until macklin decided to pick him apart just now.

"it's so..odd. you're just..driving with one hand. isn't that uncomfortable?" the younger brunette kept poking with his questions and boy was will not in the mood for it this morning.

"do you have a problem with my driving? don't forget i'm the only one that can drive right now," he didn't really snap, but macklin drew back for a second. he studied his friend's expression, eyes glancing towards the two polaroids stuck onto the sun visor above will's head.

it suddenly made sense.

"ohh, i get it. you drive with one hand so you can hold samy's when she's with you," macklin laughed, but the blonde was still confused. he didn't get what was so funny.

"yeah? sure? and?"

"nothing, nothing. i just think it's cute that you probably made yourself learn to drive with one hand so you could like hold hers," the brunette continued laughing to himself. all will did was roll his eyes, not very amused by the conversation.

"wait, have you guys like..done it in here?"

when will didn't answer immediately macklin literally gasped and started freaking out (or pretend freaking out), "oh my god you have! you have! was it where i'm sitting?! please say no, please—"

"mack, chill. chill. we've never "done it" in my car before, i promise," will was quick to shut down any ideas, face flushing.

"but have you in a car before?"

"why are we talking about my sex life at 7:45 in the morning?" the forward cringed knowing it was way too early to be discussing this.

"i don't know, you tell me," macklin shrugged.

"dude, you started it," will countered.

"you didn't answer my question," the brunette crossed his arms, turning away like he was mad.

again, the blonde rolled his eyes knowing it was too early for any of this, "we have, yes, but not in this car i swear."

"that's fucking crazy, man. how does that even work? like..there's not enough room," unfortunately, the younger hockey player really didn't know when to stop talking.

"you just make it work, i dunno," this conversation needed to end.

but wow, was macklin persistent, "but like what position makes sense? is she on top? are you?"

"dude. i'm not talking about this anymore," this time will really did snap and finally, his friend shut up, leaning back into the seat.

"but like can you tell me what's the biggest you've ever been?" his voice rang through will's ears not even a second later.

"how the fuck am i supposed to know that?" the blonde exclaimed.

"i don't know? you've never measured yourself before?"

"no, i've never measured myself before. why are you asking me this?" they rolled onto the street much to will's relief which meant this conversation was gonna be over really soon.

"i'm just curious. i'm nervous that when i get a girlfriend i'm gonna do it all wrong, so i figured you would have some expertise," macklin shrugged and his answer sort of made will feel bad for snapping a second ago.

he rolled them into their usual parking spot, rolling into park before he turned to his million question friend. "i promise, you won't do it wrong no matter what. it just happens naturally and you both kind of fall into the movement and moment i guess. you got nothing to worry about, man," will tried giving his best advice he knew.

"okay, okay, thanks smith. sorry for the questions," macklin grinned while the blonde playfully rolled his eyes.

"yeah, whatever. come on, let's go in before we're late and we have to do laps," the two climbed out of the car, grabbing their bags from the back and walking up to the rink together.

"okay, but one more question, i promise. how long do you last?"

"macklin—"

"okay, okay, sorry. i'm done. don't answer that."

—

will slid into his stall, exhausted from the long practice and ready to head home for a much needed nap and food. he reached around for his phone to check for any important messages, smiling when he saw a good 10 texts from samy.

he liked when she texted him nonstop about something even though she knew he wouldn't answer until later. it gave him something to look forward to.

"someone's smiley," bordeleu noticed his teammate's grin, nudging will's shoulder to grab his attention away from his phone.

the blonde looked up to an expectant look on tom's face. "what's got you smiling so much?" the older boy teased a bit and catching the attention of the others around them.

"just texting my girlfriend," will answered, watching his teammates raise their eyebrows in surprise.

"girlfriend? you got a girlfriend?" jack poked his head into the conversation, smirking.

"you should hear them on the phone together. so sappy," macklin added his input and quickly everyone became surprised to learn of this apparently new information.

"no way our rookie's got a girlfriend. who is she? meet her at boston or something?" eklund and the others' anticipation grew while will's face began turning into a deep blush at the sudden attention.

"i think you guys know her pretty well..we're playing her brother in two weeks," macklin continued before will could. it took the guys a second, but the realization slowly set in.

"no fucking way. you're dating samy hughes?" the disbelief was clear on their faces.

"uh, yeah..you guys didn't know?" the blonde chuckled, standing up to get himself ready for a quick shower.

"uh, no. we didn't. you're telling me you pulled the little sister of some of the best hockey players in the nhl right now?" jack questioned and will slowly nodded.

"we grew up together so she was just kind of always there," will didn't really get what was so exciting and shocking about his relationship, but maybe he was just desensitized because he grew up with the hughes siblings.

the boy pulled his shirt off, searching for a towel and a change of clothes when a small gasp escaped someone's lips. he pulled his gaze to his right where macklin's hand covered his mouth trying to stop laughter from coming out.

"oh my god..holy shit," bordeleu got out and the other two boys whistled which drew in the attention from the even older guys.

"what?" will was confused and oblivious to everyone staring at the pretty purple and red splotches on his chest.

"you're telling me little hughesy left those?" ecklund poked will's arm and the boy's eyes shot down to his chest. a deep blush spread from his neck to the tips of his ears as he finally realized what everyone was staring at. shit.

"guess you went a little too hard when you were in michigan," macklin teased and the others quickly laughed. will knocked his friend's head, glaring at him.

"i guess hughesy can bite. impressive," jack nodded in approval and the poor forward was getting serious deja vu—living the same exact scenario that he did in boston after he visited samy.

"you definitely got the girl, w-2. she's a real keeper if she can do that to ya," bordeleu patted the blonde's shoulder before walking away. the others winked, leaving the rookie's alone for now.

"looks like our new rookie's been getting some!" goodrow exclaimed, making a show by clapping his hands for the now very embarrassed blonde. macklin joined in and then so did everyone else—all eyes on will.

"you better make sure her brother doesn't see those when we head to van in two weeks," the younger brunette said.

will went off to the showers knowing he'll never live that down for the rest of time and those guys would bring it up at any chance they got.

however, the hockey player still prided himself in the fact that everyone always seemed jealous that he got the girl and not them. yeah. he did get the girl and it felt great that no one else did.

[makeucrawl]

I would love to see a Coyle/Eastermen drabble id your still up to requests 🥺👉👈

Maybe Eastermen realising hes not the only guy who thinks Coyle is hot and getting jealous? Perhaps reminding Coyle who owns him (Nsfw)

“ShockTherapy” ship

!!WARNING!!NSFW!!

Dr. Easterman had been sitting at his desk, working on paperwork for what seemed like an eternity. He tapped his pen on the desk, feeling slightly bored. His gaze moves to the screen on his desk.

There was a trial going on, and he watched as Sgt. Coyle stabbed a man in the chest with his cattle prod. The officer looked pleased with how the unfortunate reagent's body thrashed on the ground.

Just as the doctor pondered about visiting Coyle later, he noticed something else.

One of the guards behind the enclosed area appeared to be trying to grab the prime assets' attention.

Coyle appeared interested and walked over to the barrier. The two appear to be having a little talk, leaning dangerously close to one other on the fence.

Hendrick felt nothing towards the situation.

Coyle had always been a dog, so witnessing the officer flirting with someone didn't bother him.

It was only after the guard reached through the chain-link fence to grab the prime asset straight between the legs, did the doctor feel his eye twitch.

Coyle leaned closer to the barrier, a wild grin on his face.

The primary asset was thoroughly enjoying the attention.

He was enjoying attention.

From someone else.

Easterman looks away from the screen when he feels something wet on his hand. He had broken his pen, and the ink was all over his hand and on his documents.

With a heavy deep sigh, he shuts off the screen and stands up from his desk.

Coyle was being taken to the director's office. He didn't mind the chains on his wrists and ankles because he knew they would be removed soon. As they neared the massive doors, he smiled broadly.

He wondered what kind of fun they were going to have.

The guards lead him into the office before leaving the two alone.

"Ya just couldn't wait to see me huh?" The officer taunts and shakes his wrists, which are still tied behind his back. "Ya gonna come over here an take these damn things off or what?"

"What happened in the trial today?"

Leland raises an eyebrow at the unexpected question. "The hell you talkin about?…HEY! You said you saw all of my trials!” Coyle scoffs and continues. "Heh as usual I served justice to those stupid fucks." He puffs his chest up proudly, expecting praise.

"What else happened."

The doctor's dark tone was beginning to dampen Coyle's mood. What was it he wanted the officer to say?!

He started to think about everything that happened throughout the trial.

It hits him.

Easterman notices the officer's expression suddenly changing.

"Dunno what yer refferin’ to." Coyle struggles awkwardly on his feet as the cuffs begin to dig in. "Just get over here and get these fuckin’ things off of me! I am the law!!" He realized he was in trouble and wanted to at least try to defend himself.

As Dr. Easterman rose from behind his desk, the cop began to sweat slightly. "Oh come on! It ain’t a big deal! ‘Sides! It ain’t like you've been payin’ me any attention!”

"Oh? Are you looking for attention?”

The doctor grabs the sergeant's tie, tugging him close.

“Allow me to shower you with attention then.”

Leland was surprised when the other kissed him. It wasn't what he expected, but it was preferable to whatever punishment the doctor had planned. He was really enjoying the kiss the deep slow kiss.

Until he felt the other man begin to bite his lower lip.

Coyle struggles, but it seems to make matters worse. Easterman only stopped when he tasted blood.

"You f-fuckin psycho! T-That hurt!" The police officer stuttered, felt blood forming on his lip. He lets out a painful grunt as he is forced back into the couch. His breathing quickens as he watches the doctor crawling over him.

"Heh I uh..I think I've gotten enough attention.." Coyle smiles faintly, but Easterman simply stares down at him with those dark eyes.

The director loosens the prime asset's tie before working on opening his jacket and shirt. Easterman began kissing, beginning with the exposed bare skin of the other's neck.

Again, he was gentle and slow at first before becoming intentionally forceful and rough.

He works his way down Coyle's neck to his stomach, leaving bites and dark markings in his wake.

"Y-You…fucker!" Leland snaps as he sees what the other has done to him. Not even his collared shirt could hide the marks on his neck.

He watches as Hendrick takes something from his pocket, and when he realizes what it is, he begins to thrash.

It was a bright crimson collar with a big bell on it.

“Don’t you fucking dare!”

Easterman effortlessly places the collar around the huffing “dog's” neck. "You're honestly lucky I don't put a muzzle on you." The doctor spoke in a low, deep tone as he tightened the collar.

"But I actually have use for your loud mouth."

Hendrick now adjusted himself, practically sitting on Coyle's chest. He takes off the other man's sunglasses and cap before grabbing a fistful of the dark graying hair. His free hand proceeds to undo his belt and finally his zipper.

When the doctor notices the officer's face getting red, he smirks.

He taps the tip of his cock on the other’s lips. "Open."

When Coyle refused, Hendrick continued to press the tip against his lips and cheeks until he finally did.

The doctor brings Leland's head forward and shoving the entire length down his throat.

Almost immediately, the man choked and his eyes began to water.

He glances up to Easterman, pleading for air.

"Breathe through your nose, Leland."

Hendrick lets out a breathy laugh as he feels the other exhale heavily against his skin.

"So you can listen…”

He began moving Coyle's head, using his hair as leverage. The big bell on the collar loudly jingled with each movement.

"Then listen carefully….You're mine. Do you understand?"

The possessive doctor stares down at the gagged officer.

"You are mine. Y-You are goddamn mine."

Instead of cumming down the other man's throat, he pulls himself from Leland’s mouth before stroking himself to completion on his face.

Coyle clenched his eyes and winced as he felt the warm, thick fluid strike his face.

He groans weakly as he opens one of his eyes and looks up at the doctor. Easterman stood up and got off of the badly humiliated man, tucking himself back into his pants.

Poor Coyle lay there panting and his hard on twitched against his jeans.

"Do you understand now, Leland?"

"Yes..hnnn D-Doc..Cmon..”

The officer whines for his own release.

Easterman just chuckles at him.

"No."

He says this as he approaches his office's big doors. He opens one and addresses the guards waiting down the hall.

“You can take him."

"W-Wait!"

Coyle sat up quickly on the couch, not wanting to be seen this way.

"Goodbye, Sergeant. Have a good night's sleep. Remember what I told you.”

Easterman assists the police officer in standing and kisses his forehead before allowing the guards to remove him.

As they left, the doctor could hear the tinkling of the collar's bell and the guards mocking the prime asset.

Coyle would do well to remember who he belongs to.

[caffeinefafnir]

TL;dr: how a simple hobby keeps me from collapsing (bc we really don't pay enough attention to mental health as a society)

So earlier this year I was writting a fanfic and that's been like, the only anchor to sanity I've had for a long while. I started out on a whim one night and spewed out around 10 pages in one night. I've started at 11pm and stayed up till 5am writting. It's been such a fucking nasty year (bc all the shit started last November actually) where I've been struggling with family issues, health issues, being unemployed and struggling financially, and then the feeling of being left behind when my partner got a job and I didn't, and a lage etc. Suddenly in May I got posessed by this supernatural impulse to write a fanfic after what felt like a lifetime (around 13 years). Days turned into months, one draft became 5 separate stories abt the same characters, I discovered what whump was thus rediscovering something I was really adept to without even realizing it, followed closely several challenges althougth never pressured myself to participate (bc deadlines and I don't get along) and on top of that I started a completely new story of a genre I had never dreamt of exploring before.

Around June I was writting a super emotional scene of my side fanfic. My fave character had attempted suicide and failed, and it was a super heavy scene where she talked about this with a friend in the most nonchalant way (at first) and he was completely shocked and devastated. I was writting this at a cafe, my favorite one, and had to make a real effort to keep a straigth face while typing out bc I tend to act out the feelings as I describe them and my eyes were getting all red and wattery. But everything was fine and I got the full scene toghether. And... I felt so incredibly lighter and happier after that.

I've been trying to find an explanation for it since then. I've been battling depression since a long time now, 10 years, but I hadn't felt suicidal since a long long time ago. But I know too damn well the feeling of the symptoms of depression going away, and BOY what I felt was like a MIRACLE! The floating sensation? Just knowing everything is going to be better? Damn I missed that. I had felt it before a few times in prior years when something significantly good happened, when I went regularly to therapy, etc.

The weirdest part is that things weren't even particularly bad at that point, and even when they were the absollute worst around February I hadn't seriously thought about suicide not even once. It was more like homicidal rage at that point haha, but nothing about harming myself. I keep thinking about it ever since, how optimistic I was for the next month or so before my mood got worse due to environmental reasons. And I still went to that part over and over again to correct, add details and overall finishing the rest of the fic but this proved to be a difficult feat since I never could get myself into the same mood again.

And I'm like... what?? Why did this particular scene caused that blissful effect on me? I've never ever been in that exact situation, surely I fantasized about it (we all do at some point) and I know I'm far from cured of the depression for I still feel some of the indicators of its presence, but the change in me since I wrote those pages was explosive and intoxicating. Maybe I was channeling everything through my blorbo in ways I didn't knew I could, maybe it's just the fact that she got listened at without judging or being accused of faking it/being a failure/blowing it out of proportion, maybe bc she was feeling as lonely and unseen as I currently feel to the point you can disappear for days and nobody would notice (or at least that's what you tell to yourself)

I'm worried that if I tell all this to my therapist she'll institutionalize me haha. For real. I dunno what they normally do in these cases lol. Also I don't want to tell her yet that I write fanficiton since I´m not ready to explain an Xgen-er what is it and why my generation hype so much abt it

[crushedsweets]

I am so curious as to what you'd think about Nina and Hoodie as a duo. They've been two of my absolute favorites (even if Brian technically isn't even a creepypasta) since I was younger and I've always loved them as a sort of big brother/little sister pairing. They are so siblings to me I adore them. What are your thoughts on the sillies..

OHHH this is actually super interesting... but also im worried i do not have a lot to say because they won't mesh very well/very much. but i will try. not super realistic headcanons i think but what do i know... <3

brian isnt very present in my story, partially bc ik some mh fans dont like the crossover very much. and by time ninas in the story, i want him+tim to kinda separate from slenderman as toby and kate take over. he's still involved and coming around since he gets horrible slender sickness(but its from the operator) if he's away too long, but he doesn't live near or befriend most of the main cast..

nina is very present in my story because i love her and she is such a good and fun representation of the fandom yk. but brian is much more realistic and late 30s man, while nina is a very cartoonish early 20s girl. theyre on very different fields character and life wise...

BUUUUUUUUUT they would still meet of course.

she'd be bubbling around the entire cast, meeting people through jeff. people initially think she's in the same vein as jeff, natalie, and toby, with a LONG list of blood on their hands influenced by the operator, so they just don't think much about it. theyre mostly surprised by how cheery she is, but the proxies are the first to find out she's just... obsessed with jeff..... so thats very off putting. brian isn't fond of it.

nina would develop some light slender sickness(again, from the operator) just by being around jeff all the time, but the operator never infected her because he didn't see her as a worthy vessel. so, she would have to come to the proxies about it. if toby isnt in the mood or busy, she'd just have to hope brian/tim are around with some pills that'll soothe the pain

brian is more likely to help. with nina, he'd be quick to take on a more protective role, trying to console her as she cries on the couch holding her head whining about static.

initial convos would go smth along the lines of "do you want some coffee ? or uh kids like hot chocolate huh... maybe tea" "i'm literally in my 20s please tell me toby has weed somewhere" "that does not help with this pain i promise" "how would you know" "haha. water it is."

brian was a major stoner back in his early 20s and nina thinks its fucking hilarious. . . she'll try to get him to smoke with her but he's rlly not interested LOLLLL.... hes like 15 yrs older than her he thinks its weird .

again, he's not around a lot, but she's always happy to bump into him. she'd be squealing n shit 'HIII BRIANNNN how r u :3' and he'd just be like :) hey nina. and then never answer the 'how r u' bc he doesnt actually wanna sit and talk .

its a good change of pace. he's been through hell and back for well over a decade by this point, everyone around him is a sad sack of shit, and he spent a long time just. fighting to be an optimistic, cool guy to hang around . . but .... like.... um..... its hard to be that kind of person after all he's been thru. something about nina just forces that sort of like..... glee out of him . its not a huge difference where he's suddenly bouncing and giggling and whatever, he's still just Some Guy. but he'll be like :) lol .

mayhaps he'd catch her trying on toby's goggles and he'd offer to let her try on his mask. but nina would fake gag and be like 'no i dont want that dirty musty nasty sack on my head' and he'd be like ?????. then he'd say she can wash it and then try it on. which.. as an older sibling.... is the type of shit i'd do just to get my sister to do smth for me that i dont wanna do LMFAOOO. she might fall for it just cuz my dear nina is the ultimate fangirl

i dunno i kinda struggled with this one just cuz in my au, they wouldnt be all that close and the Type of characters they are don't mesh very well, but i am super fond of the concept and would love to try expanding on it more

[midnights-wish]

i dunno, this is probably just 'cause i'm tired so i'm in a bit of a whiny mood altogether, but tonight i feel kinda sad. also a little lonely. though nothing is wrong, tbh. i really think it's just 'cause i'm tired, & tomorrow everything will feel normal & good again. but today i've been thinking, and, you know, i just got aware again that i'm 27. which, overall, is not a bad thing of course. i guess it's just 'cause i'm a little vain & it's showing now that i'm feeling a bit weak, but i don't like aging. i mean, i would love it to wake up tomorrow & suddenly be 87, but i don't want to go through the process of aging, you know. but this is just me, i know it doesn't make sense. anyway, to get to the point, i'm 27. i'm happy with where i'm at in life, i'm happy with who i'm becoming, & i'm happy spending a lot of my time alone. but tonight, in this weird mood i'm in, i'd kinda love it if i had this special someone. you know? someone to tell me that this weird mood will be over tomorrow. someone like that, just for today. because i know that tomorrow i'll look at this post or just think of it, & immediately think to myself that this post is dumb & unnecessary, because i don't actually need someone like that. 'cause i like taking care of myself, 'cause i prefer spending most of my day on my own, 'cause i like to only be responsible for myself. or at the very least that's what i'm telling myself, i dunno. either way, tonight feels weird, & i don't like it. can't wait for tomorrow.

[leti666bigboss]

Hullo!

I've got a atsumu x sunshine!reader request where the reader gets insecure of being so positive because atsumu is grumpy and dismissing the reader. Angst to fuff!!

Thanks!

"Don’t."

featuring: miya atsumu x sunshine!gn!reader

genre: angst to fluff

warnings: none except i might have let some cuss words slide in

wc: 1,025

a/n: please excuse and tell me about any grammar mistakes. i apologize if atsumu is kinda ooc? the reader isn't very sunshine in this but i tried my best. also sorry if the scenario ended up abruptly i just ran out of inspiration but i still wanted to post this

You have been by Atsumu's side for quite some time now and out of all people he knows you best. Although he likes to keep a mysterious aura around him every so often, he's opened up to you a lot, so you're pretty much aware of how cold and tough he can be at times. But this? He's never been like this before.

"Ah? Dunno what got into him lately, his tosses are just getting worse and worse n' now he doesn't wanna talk to anyone" states Osamu. "Can I at least have a word with him?" 'his brother doesn't seem to be in a very good state either, so he's getting influenced by 'Tsumu's mood as well? I mean- well- obviously since they live in the same hous-' "You comin' or nah?"

As you enter your boyfriend's room your whole face lights up as if you just saw heaven standing in front of you. He's just sitting down, at his desk. Probably writing something, but he seems bored and unmotivated. You're the opposite of that, you're like a ball ful of happiness that just explodes from time to time and radiates positivity. That usually always comes in handy as it can lit up people's moods pretty fast, and that's always what you used whenever a close one was feeling down. So, with no second thought you just sprinted towards him with your arms opened: "HOW'RE YOU DOINGGGG MY ONE AND ONL-" "Don't". That was his only response? 'Don't?' Well, that was very much not like him. If he wasn't in the mood for affection by any means, he would just hug you with one arm and that's it. He's a pretty lazy person himself, so he doesn't bother with being overly-affectionate.

Back to reality, "`Don't"? That kinda shook you up, but not letting your emotions get affected by it... "Are you doing alright? Do you need anything? ANYTHING YOU NEED I HAV--" "Can you just shut up for a sec?" 'Well, damn that hurt..' you thought. But, without letting his words have too much of an impact on you, trying to keep your composure but with the same energy, on a much cooler yet optimistic-tone, you say "So, how have you been lately?" giving him a warm smile. His liveliness isn't on the same page as yours, though... "Good." 'Good? Well, it's great that he's fine, I mean that's exactly what I needed to know, he answered my questions, yet there's still something not clicking...' And there it was. Overthinking, overthinking and overthinking again. You always try to fight it- even so it haunts you. You've always been nothing but optimistic, trying to look at the bright side, even when there was a room with no light. Obviously that had always been facilitative, in spite of that, no living creature is a robot. You are human. You have feelings as well, and Atsumu seems to be forgetting that "detail" right now. At this point, all of these thoughts covered one minute, 60 seconds with zero dialogue, but full of tension and silence, but your boyfriend decides to break the ice: "What do you want, damn it?" the ice has been broken, yet at what cost if it's so cold? You're tired. And sick. From all of this positivity going to waste. You can't hold in your bottled up emotions no longer, so, you're just letting them out while having your mind blank and no shame: "What do I want from you? What do you mean what I want from you?" Your tone wasn't warm anymore. It was cold-hearted... and Atsumu could feel that. Suddenly, he is not-so-careless anymore, paying attention to everything, without saying nothing, astonished... "You've been so goddamn distant lately... I don't know what's gotten into you, but do something about it yourself! Since you can't accept my help. I'm tired from this NoN-cHaLaNt game or whatever it is that you're playing-" "It's not that!!!" "Then? And you're not the only once being influenced, just like an idea." "Listen, I don't know what happened, jus' everythin' started goin' downhill and suddenly I'm at a low point. I don' wanna bother anyone with my problems, so I'm staying alone, tryin' to solve 'em. D'you get me?"

Oh.

But was that seriously it? ""Tsumu. You wouldn't bother anybody if you talked about this. What's actually bothering me is that you're putting this barrier between us". You sat on his bed and patted the spot next to you, which he gladly took. Atsumu was looking straight down, trying to stop all kinds of intrusive thoughts from taking over his mind. Looking back at his actions and words, he realized that he was WAY too harsh, but time-travel is impossible, right? Instead of looking at the past and what he should have fixed, he decides to fix what should be fixed at the present moment. "[name]". "Yes, 'Tsumu?" 'What the hell? What do I even tell them? And since when have my own emotions become a problem to me?' "What's even--" Your words have been cut my him, enfolding in your arms out of nowhere. He didn't sob, cry or say anything either. It was just pure silence, you two have been sitting like this for like 5 minutes, you didn't mind it, though. 'Cause you'd rather have him like this than losing him completely.

After a hot minute, Atsumu finally spoke up; "I'm sorry". 'And I forgive you. Just- I don't know- Tell me when you're feeling down, you wouldn't be bothering me in the slightest way. And I'd love to help". "Yeah, okay. But sometimes you're being too clingy ya'know? Like cool it down...-" 'Ouch, that kinda hurt- but he's right'. "I'll try to'. As he said that, he literally embraced you even tighter in his arms; 'How ironic'- you thought. But you were getting used to that by now, he always says something and does the complete opposite- which is kinda funny, not gonna lie, although it's not always something to laugh or be happy about.

But, as of right now, you're just happy that you had fixed things with your beloved Atsumu.

[demonsfate]

I've already went over why TK8's story didn't work for Jin, despite the fact it was clearly meant to "fix" him. But since I am in a ranty / analytical mood today, I will go over it to add to the other post lol.

Jin's characterization is actually pretty damn good in TK8. It's the first time, since TK5, that Jin felt like the Jin I love. However... the characterization is where the good ends. The story still messes him up tremendously, if not WORSE... which? How tf can they even ACHIEVE making a bigger mess of the current mess? Especially with proper characterization?

It's what I've been saying since the start of this blog, they should've just retconned it. Like, it's even easier than most would think to retcon it. But they didn't. Dunno why, but they didn't. And it'd be one thing if they didn't retcon it and just had Jin say "I gotta redeem myself!" once, but... the problem is, they keep DOUBLING DOWN on TK6's story. They persistently remind the player about it... except only reminding the player about it on a surface level. Like if you didn't play TK6, or you've forgotten a lot about it - TK8 will literally just make you believe Jin killed all these people for no actual reason other than he was once a Bad Guy kinda like Kazuya. Who, btw, are both irredeemable in this context.

Every time TK6 is brought up in TK8, it's either to tell Jin that he's killed COUNTLESS people and only for Jin to essentially say "shut up!" or "but I'm learning to move on..." as responses. It... uh... doesn't put our main hero in a very good light when he can't even defend himself for these actions. And whenever Jin thinks back to it, he's like "wow I was bad but now I must atone myself!" again, NOTHING actually tells you what he did in TK6 beyond the war, and WHY he did it... you just have no clue about this character's motivations and why he's suddenly good again. And honestly? If you're a longtime player, you're probably still confused about it!

To this day, most people still believe Jin started the war to purely get rid of the devil gene. That is a very incorrect misconception. Getting rid of the devil gene was merely a bonus for Jin. Jin's main goal was to save the world from Azazel, since Azazel suddenly came to him and said "yup I'm destroying the world someday". Then there were just two other goals Jin figured he could do along this main one. The second one being that he theorized there's a possibility that killing Azazel would get rid of the devil gene, considering that Azazel's the origins. (Very flawed logic when you think about it but that's TK6 writing for you). The third reason was that uhhh... he thought he could end corrupt governments????? That was thrown in at the end of TK6, likely something to force his goals to seem Slightly Better.

If TK8 really wanted to present Jin in a better light, they could've... REMINDED US IN THE STORY OF THE GOOD REASONS WHY JIN STARTED THE WAR?? That, according to TK6's writing, it's something he HAD to do, had no other choice?? Or at the very least, they could've mentioned his goals to topple corrupt governments was a success??? But no.

And that's another problem. All of Jin's reasons for stopping the war had failed. Killing Azazel: Failed (at least during the war, he supposedly successfully did it when fighting Kazuya) Destroying the devil gene: Failed. Overthrowing corrupt governments: ????

So that fact that Jin failed every reason he started the war over, it makes him feel very incompetent, and also makes the war feel completely pointless in the first place. That all those people died for no reason at all.

The Tek wiki even does a better job at this by mentioning that Devil did indeed have an influence over Jin.

Which again, also would've helped if Jin wasn't in his right mind. So say, why didn't they.... oh right.

Because the Devil Gene is now no longer a "bad" or "good" thing. It all depends on what the host uses it for, and how they accept it. Devil [Jin] was never bad. In fact, he was only trying to protect Jin the entire time. 🙄 Which means Devil couldn't have influenced Jin to do something Fucked Up lmao. Jin was the idiot boy for not listening to and giving into his devil! Sure, at first glance, this seems sappy and a decent "accept yourself!" story, but it also falls apart when you remember the previous stories. Again, if the devil gene was never that bad to begin with - then it also makes a part of Jin's war pointless (even if, as I said, that wasn't actually a priority of his).

It also goes back to what I was saying about why fans dislike Jin. One of the reasons is because they believe he's "whiny". Which I always disagreed with that. Jin had every reason to hate the devil gene and most of his family. Except... oh wait, these changes do make Jin's haters' take valid. Because if the devil gene really could've been a beneficial factor for Jin, then Jin really was loathing himself, ready to kill himself, hiding from his friends & family... for absolutely nothing. The devil gene wasn't a problem and Jin was absolutely crying over nothing. Again, this makes him feel like a protagonist that just constantly fucks up. And not even an intriguing line of mistakes, but just frustrating. It makes Jin out to be a very bad protagonist, and an even worse "hero" for our story.

So uh... yeah! Even if on surface, TK8 looks like it portrayed Jin well... once you start looking at it critically, really looking into all the changes and choices, you realize it actually made things worse for Jin. Which is just absolutely wild how they managed to pull that off...

[resurrection-of-soul]

Flashback | PSYCHOBREAK 10

Writer: Akira (日日日)

Characters: Rei, Adonis, Koga

[ For the best viewing experience, please read directly on my blog! ♪ ]

Time: One week later. The day before the battle to subjugate the "vampires," now named "Flashback (tentative title)," as well as the day UNDEAD first met.

Location: The graveyard located at the Hasumi family's temple.

Rei: Ghosts 're great, ain't they? ♪ Ghosts 're great, ain't they? ♪ Forget about workin' or studyin', let's just hold a concert at this here graveyard~ We'll start at noon~ ♪

Adonis: What's wrong, Sakuma-senpai? Are you drunk?

Rei: I ain't old enough t' drink my problems away~ It might be easier if I was, though~ ♪

Adonis: I am not sure what's going on, but you seem to be in an unusually good mood… There's been a gloomy atmosphere around you lately, so this is a bit of a relief.

Rei: Ohhh… Ya actually noticed I've been feelin' down? That's amazin', real impressive. Even though people often claim ta love or respect someone, humans generally don't care enough to pay much attention ta others' affairs or try ta understand 'em.

Adonis: It's simply because I've known you longer than the others have, so I was able to notice the difference sooner.

Rei: So modest. Even my little brother, who's been with me since birth, doesn't bother to try n' figure out how I'm feelin'. Even though I try to get his attention by goin', "Hey, hey, can ya guess what big bro's thinkin' right now?" too.

Adonis: Won't that just make him think you're annoying and cause him to dislike you?

Rei: H-he won't dislike me~! Even the bible states that a younger brother will love his older brother as much as the older brother loves his younger brother!

Adonis: Is that so? Then my opinion was mistaken, and I apologize.

Rei: Adonis-kun, has anyone ever called you a joke killer?

Adonis: Killer…? I try to keep a low profile to avoid such dishonorable nicknames. I am a foreigner. In this country, even if I do not want to stand out, I unavoidably do. It's sad, but I often get stuck with strange labels, and mothers with children often become unusually vigilant around me. That is why I believe I should behave like a good kid who is excessively docile, earnest and harmless.

Rei: Hmmm. It seems you've got such keen eyes, ya end up seein' things ya shouldn't even bother lookin' at. How the hell did I get it into my head that a kid as well-behaved as you was behind the "vampire" attacks? I've kiiinda got this unsettlin' feelin' my thoughts're bein' guided by someone else, n' it's been particularly bad recently. It's like some stranger's forcin' me into the role of a character in their story. It's seriously creepy. Is this just a common thing durin' adolescence? What do ya think, Adonis?

Adonis: I do not know, but… I do agree it seemed out of character for you to suddenly assume I was responsible and condemn me as the culprit. Fortunately, it seems the suspicion has cleared up, but to be honest, it hurt a little. I found myself thinking, "So even Sakuma-senpai doesn't understand me?"

Rei: Ahh, I'm very, very sorry, okay? Ya know I really do love ya, right?

Adonis: It isn't a matter of whether you like or dislike me. It is about perception and understanding.

Koga: …The hell have you guys even been goin' on about? We were supposed ta be practicin' for the showdown against the "vampires" today, but… That — what was it, Hakaze or whatever? — guy ain't no~owhere t' be seen. And just when I'm thinkin to myself, "Finally, Sakuma-senpai's here!" you n' that guy over there, umm…

Adonis: I am Otogari Adonis. I've introduced myself several times, haven't I?

Koga: Right, Adonis…. You n' Adonis just keep talkin' about toootally unrelated bullshit. We seriously gonna be okay like this? Can we really beat the "vampires" at this rate? Though a' course, we're invincible as long as you're here, Sakuma-senpai, but—

Rei: I dunno 'bout that~ I might just betray ya again like I did durin' the "Dead Man's Live," y'know? It's troublesome if ya depend on me too much, cause I'm fundamentally a pre~etty unmotivated kinda guy. If yer worried about it, ya should try n' motivate me, Pup¹~♪

Koga: I dunno if this'll motivate ya, buuut… For that DreFes thing, I was thinkin', if we're gonna be doin' a live then we need at least one song to sing, right? So I tried writin' some myself.

Rei: Oh? That's cool, very band-like ♪ Show me, show me ♪

Koga: I-it's not very well done, so please don't get your hopes up, alright? I just started getting into this hobby a few years ago, and I'm entirely self-taught, so it's all kind of messy—

Rei: Why're ya suddenly speakin' so politely? Cut it out, you're messin' up yer image. Durin' the "Dead Man's Live," ya spoke like you were gonna bite my head off, didn'tcha?

Koga: I was so excited back then… Now we're in a band together, and the closer I get to you, the more you seem larger than life. I-I didn't mean to get all nervous… I'm sorry. If it makes you uncomfortable, I'll go back to aggroing you again soon.

Rei: "I'll go back to aggroing you again soon" sure is a funny lil' phrase. ….Hmhm, mhmm? 'Kay, I've got your song memorized, Pup. Shall we go ahead n' give it a try? ♪~♪~♪

[ ☆ ]

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Rei calls him wan-chan (typically used by Kaoru) rather than the usual wanko here. It means the same thing, but sounds a little more diminutive and cutesy.

[ofpineapplesanddawns]

Can you write something with Lucian and vampire!Peter, with Lucian having ptsd or panic attack due to Sonja and her murder via sunlight, and that being... transferred? onto Peter?

You guys are in the mood for whump, aren't you?

Warning: panic attack, ptsd, mentioned death, Lucian still can't cope with things no matter how long it's been (and that's completely understandable)

On with the fic!

--

It had been a simple accident, no one's fault. Sometimes things break, in this case, it was a curtain rod.

It was a right place at the right time moment, or rather, a wrong place at the wrong time, when Lucian looked over at Peter as he entered the room with the fire pit. Before he had a chance to greet Peter, there was a small, metallic sound, and something dropped at the window.

A bright beam of light entered the room and Peter hissed, dropping his phone to cover his face as the sun shone on him.

It was bright, blinding, and for just a moment, Lucian didn't see Peter standing there in the light.

No, he saw his wife, tied to a mast by chains she couldn't break, burning alive in just a few, agonizing moments at the hands of her own father.

All while Lucian was trapped, chained to the ground, unable to do anything but watch her die.

Lucian was up and out of his chair in a second, completely ignoring the clattering of the chair or the startled noise Peter made when he wrapped his arms tightly around the vampire, shielding him from the sun.

He was safe, he was safe, Lucian was protecting him, he was protecting her and nothing would burn them alive-

"Lucian-!" Peter shouted, and it oddly seemed like he had been for a while now.

Huh?

Lucian felt his muscles ache and his body was so tense. His breathing sounded so loud in his ears, and he felt his fangs in his mouth.

"For fuck's sake, you're crushin' me!" Peter was squirming and suddenly he was on the floor.

It was darker here, this looked like Peter's bedroom, but weren't they just at the fire pit?

"What... what happened?" Lucian asked, his throat felt thick.

"I dunno, one of the mechanical blinds must've finally gave out and you probably got startled by the noise or somethin', wolf man." Peter huffed from the ground, blowing hair out of his face. "What the hell? I've never seen you do somethin' like that. You kept saying things in Romanian, and I think you called me Sonja?"

Lucian's heart dropped to his stomach. "I did?"

"Yeah." Peter looked up at him from the floor, frowning, his annoyance melting into worry. "You okay?"

"No." Lucian admitted, rubbing at his face. "I just... I saw you in direct sunlight and I-"

"You thought of Sonja, huh?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"You called me her name, which normally sounds bad, but in this case, I figured you were havin'..." He waved his hands about. "A panic attack. Trust me, I've had those quite a number of times."

Peter got up, dusting himself off a bit. "Did you forget that the sun doesn't kill me directly? Just makes me sick and burns me before it gets worse?"

"I..." Lucian swallowed. "I don't want you to get hurt."

"I'm fine. Probably a bit bruised from you havin' me in a bear hug. Wolf hug? Lycan hug, yeah, that. I'm fine. But are you alright?"

Lucian could lie and say yes, but he didn't. He just shook his head and Peter stepped closer, gently pushing him to sit on the bed. "It never gets easier, does it? It's been... six hundred years, right?"

"Yes. You think I'd be able to handle something like that better, but it's not... it's not easy."

"Never is. I still get nervous going to my room when the lights are off. I still jump when I hear somethin' make a noise in the night, like the air conditioner or a bird hittin' a window. Hell, I avoid crime scene photos cause I don't wanna be reminded of things that might look like my parents, or Ginger. God, it still feels weird using the elevator." Peter sat down next to him, taking his hand.

"It's alright if it's still hard to deal with this, Lucian. She meant everything to you, and it fuckin' sucks that you had to see her die in such a way. I know you hate using the sun to fight, or even the UV lights, but don't worry, I'm fine. Gonna take a lot more than a fuckin' ball of plasma to finish me off!"

Lucian looked at him, holding his hand tightly. "I just don't want to see you hurt, Peter."

"I'm fine, just saw a bunch of spots when it happened, felt a little too warm, but you stopped it from gettin' worse. That's gotta count for somethin', even if you had a panic attack."

The lycan sighed and leaned his head on Peter's shoulder. "I'm tired."

"Wanna be hairy and lay in the bed together so you can forget about things for a while?"

"That sounds lovely."

Lucian got up, stripped naked, and allowed himself to change into his lycan form. When he got on the bed, he found Peter no longer sitting on it, but curled up and tiny, furred, and winged on one of the pillows. He heard a squeak from the bat and laid down, watching as Peter flapped his wings and fluttered the few feet before dropping on Lucian's head. He curled up in the fur there and Lucian sighed, closing his eyes, a nap might help, especially with his (safe) boyfriend in bed with him.

[yoiku]

Man, last week... started off optimistic and ended up in the pits kinda.

We made plans for me to join a 15 month course to find fitting job(s) with the aim of going to said jobs and trying them out. Sounds good and is something i am interested in, but after friday all i've been thinking is that maybe it's too much too soon. I'm still thinking if i can manage 3 days of workshop/week instead of 2... so diving into something that can have 4-5x 6hr days/week is making me very anxious and already feeling bad if I end up not having the energy to do it. I think its the main thing that has dropped my mood bc I know that the chances of me getting a part-time job in any of the fields that interest me and are something i could be able to do physically, is pretty nonexistent. All of those fields have severe oversupply of potential workers against the amount available jobs, in the entire country. So the chances of getting employed as someone who doesn't have any substancial studies in the field, isn't able bodied or mentally okay... Lets just say it isnt exactly an encouraging thought. I just feel like no matter what I am entirely useless when it comes to any employment that i feel i could perhaps be able to do. If an able-bodied, neurotypical and socially capable person with a suitable degree can't get a job in those fields, what are my chances? lol. I dunno. Already feels like a failure if I muster up the courage to say that I feel like I've said OK to things that I'm not actually sure about. I'm sure they'll understand if I say i'd rather focus on getting back into 3 workshop days and trying to progress my rights for therapy for now. I don't know. I feel conflicted with my own thoughts. Part of me thinks I should give it a go even if I drop out - id at least be certain that it was too much. But I also know how heavily dropping out from anything hits me mentally, so i am genuinely afraid of seeing the bottom of the pit again. The psychologist at the current evaluation course did say she thinks taking things as slowly as needed is probably the best for me considering everything they've summed up abt me so far. I'll try to talk about it at least.

On a less depressing note, the results from the various psych/neuro tests were partly curious. My mathematical skills being extremely below average wasn't a surprise, lmao! But I found it curious that the one that was the highest above average was linguistic skills, followed by the less surprisingly above average spatial awareness that involved shapes, patterns and other stuff that i think any artistic person would excel at. Accuracy was great but speed was awful, lmao. Overall I scored pretty average on the cognitive side. Worth noting is that I am medicated now and I did take my adhd meds on that day as well, so that likely helped slightly with the accuracy and overall concentration. (a lot of the tests had a time limit) Interesting tests though, and I'm glad it gets written up into my files as well, because it's more proof to the fact that my autism is mostly affecting me on the social side of things. I would be really interested to take the same tests in a busy/noisy environment or with some sort of forced interrupts like someone asking you something entirely different suddenly and see just how much of a disaster that would be trying to get back into focusing on the test tasks then, lol. That's morely likely how things are after all if we think of these tests as a measure of how will you get by in the world of working a job, unless you really have a job where you get to work alone in a perfect environment for yourself. (man i love making art at home)

[ratcatcher0325]

Hi Penn! My name's Kit and I'm probably one of your biggest fans. (And also Travis of Sticks and Stones. He's pretty amazing too). I've been following you since Seattle and I'm having a bit of a fangirl moment sending you this Ask...

OK... my question: Describe an average day in your life.

Oh, hi, @kitn-underfoot ! It’s amazing to meet you! Biggest fan you say? Since Seattle? Damn, that’s like… early days…. I was still knocking at the knees back then. Hey! Hey Trav!! You can tune that later, come here…. We’ve got our biggest fan, Kit, say hi!

Hi Kit!! Pleasure to meet you! Thanks for enjoying our stuff! Who knows, maybe we’ll stop near you on tour and we can say hi in person!

Okay you’ve said your piece, now get outta my ask inbox. Shoo! (He just rolled his eyes at me and jabbed me in the shoulder with his finger). He’s lucky I’m in a chipper mood…. I’m kidding, I love that man, I dunno what I’d do without him.

Describe an average day in my life? Hmm, it still blows my mind how much that’s changed, and so quickly too. God, I mean, the lives I’ve lived before now, compared to the one I count myself lucky to wake up to every morning??? It’s like night and day. So, I’ll give you a window into my current little slice of heaven:

Most mornings I stir awake at 11 at the absolute earliest, most often lying atop Eveline’s heart, but sometimes we switch it up and I curl up in her hand or her hair. Neither of us are big on rising early. Most of the time we snooze our alarm three and four times. Travis usually ends up having to slam on our hotel room door just to finally get us up. He loves that, I know (sorry, Trav…). One of the things I absolutely love about my life is I find myself someplace new sometimes within the span of 24 hours. We always love exploring wherever we are: see the sights, get lost, meet up with friends if we have them there. Sometimes we all hang as a group, sometimes it’s just Ev and I.

Alternatively, if the weather’s shitty or we’re tired from being on the road, we’ll just hole up in one of our hotel rooms and jam or write something or just order room service and pig out.

Then, when the sun goes down, it’s time to get to work. Sticks and Stones warms up and goes through sound check and I check my equipment backstage… then, before I know it, I’m suddenly onstage with my best friends behind me and so many wonderful friends in the making in front of me, swaying and singing along with me. I play my heart out, have fun, usually make an idiot of myself one way or another, meet people backstage, sign a million things until I’m terrified my skin is just going to permanently turn silver, and then, we crash, and I find myself settled back over the beating heart of the woman I love and we get ready to do it all again, someplace else.

Isn’t it insane that I get to claim that as my routine? Never in my life would I have thought something like that would ever be possible for someone like me. And yet, here I am, living it. It’s craziness. But…. It’s our craziness and it’s something I enjoy sharing with people like you. So… thanks for enjoying my stupidity captured in sound waves. And thanks for believing in me. It means in the world.

With love, one of Kit’s biggest fans,

Penn

[wolfprincesszola]

The Fate of the Marked Six Chapter 13

as always, reblogs and likes are appreciated! enjoy <3 ——————– Summary: Virgil moves into a new town and meets Roman, a ghost that he promises to help in finding the unfinished business needed to pass over. However, Roman's past seemed to be deeply muddled with trouble, an uncurable disease that has started to affect a classmate, and a certain tight-lipped valedictorian. Friendships are made and Virgil finds himself thrown into a situation far more complicated and twisted than he signed up. Hopefully, with the help of his new five friends, he can find a way to bring peace to the town once and for all.

Trigger Warning: None

Content Warning: Swearing

<Masterlist>

<Previous> <Next> ——————–

Chapter 13

Roman had been gaining his memories back. It was a long and slow process, but he found out the more he followed Logan around, the more memories came back to him. He remembered a lot when it came to his brother and a part of him understood why his life turned out the way it did. A part of him understood why Logan became the way he did. However, it still hurt that no matter what, Logan couldn’t accept the fact that Roman was a ghost, and that maybe a part of Roman's unfinished business came from Logan. Until Logan could accept it, Roman was stuck being a ghost.

Although, it wasn’t as bad when he was hanging out with Virgil. Virgil made his day a lot better. Virgil always found a way to make him smile, even if it wasn’t on purpose. Currently, at the moment, they were waiting in the car for Janus to come out so they could drive to school, as Logan had woken them to tell them that it was an urgent situation.

“Listen, I don’t care if this boy has 7 years of experience with a gun. I know self-defense and I don’t think he can do much with a gun like that.” Virgil grumbled, putting his hoodie over his ears to keep him warm.

Roman snorted, looking at the boy, “Our dad also taught us self-”

“Let me imagine, okay?” Virgil scowled, “Besides, what do you know, you amnesiac ghost?”

“A lot.” Roman remarked, but still shut his mouth and let Virgil talk about how inconvenient it was for his brother to make them do all this at 4 in the morning.

His complaining was cut off with Janus walking into the car.

“Hey.” Virgil nodded.

“You upset about Logan making us do this at 4 in the morning?”

“Yeah.” Virgil sighed, “Also, I know you can’t see him, but Roman’s here too.”

“Hello, Roman” Janus nodded.

"He’s the boy who can see the marks, right?”

“Yeah, Janus’s the boy who can see the marks.”

“Oh, right, I forgot he knows our powers. Does he have a power?”

“Yeah, teleportation.” Virgil remarked.

Janus suddenly groaned, rubbing his temples.

“What?” Virgil and Roman both asked at the same time.

"I've been hanging around Remus too much, so I am going to ask on Remus' behalf before he can ask. Does this mean he’s Dr. Strange?“ Janus sighed, "Although...it would be amusing to know that in order to teleport, he has to do the fucking circle thing.”

Roman rolled his eyes, “No, I can just snap my hand.”

Virgil repeated what Roman said and then Janus raised his hand, "Like Thanos?"

Virgil grinned, turning to Roman and imitating drawing the circle that Dr. Strange did. "Like this?"

“I hate the both of you.” Roman rolled his eyes, pretending like a smile wasn’t forming at his lips from the silliness of the boy. "Just drive."

“Alright, fine.” Virgil snorted as he began to drive the car towards the school.

"Do you think Logan would have a clearer answer since they were brothers?" Janus asked.

"Oh, good point!" Virgil's eyes lit up.

"You might die if you ask him though." Janus raised his eyebrows.

“I dunno, maybe he’s in a silly mood. Besides, he always liked me better than he liked you.”

Janus rolled his eyes, but said nothing to it.

The three soon walked out of the car and towards the school when they saw Logan waiting at the front.

“You seem cozy.” Virgil remarked as soon as they came within earshot of each other. “You have a jacket, hat, and scarf on. It almost seems like you look like we’re going into snow.”

“I’m unreasonably cold right now.” Logan shrugged, “Come on, I’ve prepared coffee and hot chocolate for you guys. Patton’s already waiting."

“Aw, thanks.” Virgil smiled, lagging behind to mumble to Roman that maybe his brother wasn’t such a bad person. Roman just rolled his eyes, smiling at Virgil.

“Hey, Logan?” Janus began.

“What’s up?”

"Is that your Sherlock cosplay?" Janus squinted his eyes as he finally placed where he knew where the outfit came from.

"No." Logan looked away, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

"Hm." Janus raised an eyebrow with a knowing look, but didn't say anything about it. Instead, he brought the attention to Virgil, "Didn't you have something you wanted to ask him, Virgil?"

“Oh, right. Was your brother Dr. Strange? Apparently, his power was the power of transportation.”

Roman hitched his breath as he saw hurt flash into Logan’s eyes that was somewhat unreadable to the other boys. He saw the regret, but then it faded into a melancholy smile.

“He was obsessed with Dr. Strange. He only needed to blink and then he could transport himself and myself, but he loved being extra. He would constantly do the Dr. Strange thing, and made it obsessively long in order to annoy me. I kinda miss it.” Logan remarked, walking a little faster towards the front office.

Virgil gave a grin to Janus, "See? He likes me better."

"The symbol above his head was bright red." Janus remarked.

The mark of regret. Roman thought it was a sad story. Forever living to regret all the things Logan wished he could say to Roman, never being able to utter them in fear that it would confirm all his worst nightmares. It would confirm that Logan only villainized Roman because it was easier to be angry than to be sad.

When all four of them walked into the room, Roman felt a different magic aura. He turned to where the aura was to see a ghost he hadn’t seen before. The ghost was a child, only a child. He was over by Patton, seconds away from grabbing the rosary from Patton’s neck. Patton didn’t seem to know or understand, just continuing to murmur something under his breath with a book in his hand.

Roman gave a look to Virgil, who stared at him and shook his head. Virgil wanted Roman to wait to see what would happen.

Logan showed everyone to a seat, where there were cups of hot chocolate or coffee, “Patton helped me make it.”

Virgil motioned for Roman to pretend like he was living, and Roman sat down at a chair, careful to watch the child from his peripherals.

The child touched the rosary, yelping as it seemed to burn him. At that moment, the child tried a different method, pulling the string of the rosary. Patton didn’t seem to notice as he continued reading and murmuring something under his breath. Virgil and Roman were still watching.

The child got burned as soon as he tried to take it off Patton, yelping. Then, the child took a deep breath and snapped off the necklace, and started to run away with it, trying not to scream at the pain that came from the rosary.

“Go after him now.” Virgil interrupted the group, and almost immediately, Roman nodded, running after the child. The child looked back, terrified to see that the two could see him, and started to dash faster.

The kid was fast, but Roman was faster. Roman also had the power of transportation on his side, so anytime the kid got too far from him, Roman was able to catch up to him.

He was running around in circles at one point, even going back to the council room as he was running after the kid.

Then, the kid decided to try and find the exit, and Roman knew that if the kid did find one of the 8 exit gates, Roman was screwed. They came to the front gate, and then, for some reason, the kid kept running against the gate, as if there was an imaginary border. As Roman ran closer, he noticed a growing magical aura that blocked even him from getting out to the school. Roman easily grabbed the boy by the collar, focusing on transporting back into the room. In a blink, the two of them were back into the front office where he found Virgil and Janus watching the front door.

“They’re here.” Virgil murmured. Roman assumed he filled them in on what happened.

“Good.” Logan replied, closing the book and nodding to Patton, who had stopped chanting.

“What did you do?” Janus asked.

“I got a vision that someone removed Patton’s rosary. There’s nothing I can do to prevent him from that…but then I remembered that my grandmother used to be a spell caster. I borrowed his book, and gave it to Patton to continue chanting until we captured the person. He has the largest magical aura of us.”

“I don’t have a power though.”

“Maybe your power is the ability to speak spells?” Virgil offered. “And maybe you couldn’t do it because you’ve never casted a spell before.”

Logan seemed to be too distracted to educate Virgil about the magical auras as he walked over to where Roman is. “Thanks for catching the ghost. Rosemary please?”

His eyes were staring right at Roman, but something was off. One of his eyes was dark blue, the other was brown, but Roman didn’t understand why it was off.

“He can see me?” Roman turned to Virgil.

“No, he can see the floating rosemary though.”

“Ah.” Roman nodded, looking at the kid he still had in hand. “So…you going to give it to him, or what?”

“What if I don’t?”

“Come on, kid, it’s clearly hurting you. Just give it to him.”

“He’ll ruin my life if I come back empty handed.”

“Who will?” Roman raised an eyebrow.

“I can’t tell you.” The kid shook his head, but the fear in his eyes was apparent. “Just let me take the lifer’s pendant.”

“You do realize that this ‘lifer’ still has a life. You don’t.”

“No, I do. I really do. I will die if I don’t give it to him.”

“You have died, kid. Accept it. It’s not worth hurting someone who has nothing to do with whoever this person that’s in charge of you. Just move on, and find your unfinished business.” Virgil spoke up.

“I can’t.” The kid sobbed, “You don’t understand. You’re a lifer.”

“What the hell is a lifer?” Roman huffed.

“A person who’s living. The lifers never understand what power Caleb has over us.”

Roman and Virgil shared a look with each other, and Virgil mouthed the name to Janus who quickly wrote it down.

“What about me? I’m clearly not a lifer.” Roman pointed to the fact that he was still holding on to the kid.

The kid shook his head, “Just whatever you do, don’t let his promises get to you. It seems so heartwarming and nice especially after you’ve been lost for a long time…but it’s not worth it. Please…just let me take it back to him.”

Virgil gave a look to Roman before he waved him off, “Let him go. I’ll just give another rosary to Patton.”

“But…” Roman began.

Logan stared at Virgil, almost trying to see what Virgil was doing before he sighed, taking off the rosary from his neck. “Here. You can give him mine too.”

“What?” Roman snapped, “Logan, you’re logical. What do you mean you’re giving him something that is a protective charm?”

“In fact, I went ahead and grabbed Remus’s rosary too.” Logan grabbed one out of his pocket, “I think you can have all of them.”

Logan held his hand out for the child. The child sniffled, nervous about taking it.

“Logan, what are you doing?” Virgil raised an eyebrow.

“Go ahead.” Logan urged the kid. The kid slowly but surely grabbed the rosary, surprised to see that it didn’t burn him.

“Why didn’t that burn him?” Roman asked.

“Because one was taken by force with negative energy. The rest were given, and it doesn’t matter what energy he has because he was given it.” Virgil replied.

“Go ahead, give him yours too.” Logan motioned for Janus and Virgil to.

“Logan, what is going on?” Janus asked, clutching onto his rosary.

“Go ahead.” Logan shrugged.

There was some shuffling and Roman eyed Patton to see that he was reading through the books.

“What are you doing, Patton?”

“Trying to find something to help you see clearly.” Patton snorted, “You’re going insane.”

“No, I’m not. Go ahead.” Logan pointed.

Virgil sighed, ripping the rosary off his neck and then giving it to the boy before Janus did the same with holding his hand out for the boy to grab the rosaries.

“Let him go.” Virgil commanded Roman.

Roman sighed, turning towards the boy, “I better not see you doing anything to them again, okay?”

“Okay.” The boy nodded.

Roman let go of the boy and watched as he ran away.

As soon as the boy was out of the room, Virgil sighed, turning to the boy, “Alright, what the hell, Logan?”

“Now, Patton.” Logan turned to Patton with a sense of urgency before he collapsed onto the ground, coughing.

Patton spouted a spell in a different language and suddenly, Roman felt a huge magical aura envelop him before it was gone.

As soon as Patton finished, he slammed the book shut, making sure to check on Logan.

Roman knelt down by Logan, who sat up and suddenly, his eyes were the color of chocolate again.

Then, Roman understood why he thought Logan was being weird. Logan was pushing his limits and Roman knew Logan was more snappy when he was at his limit.

“You shouldn’t have done that.” Patton rolled his eyes. “You become unreasonable.”

“Shut up, Morris.” Logan groaned, clutching his head, “I have the worst headache.”

“Alright, it’s fine. You did good.” Patton rubbed his head.

Logan looked up at Patton, and smiled, holding a fist out, “You did better.”

His smile was genuine and he didn’t seem like he was too mad at Patton, like he normally was. For a second, a part of his past came forth into his expression. It was clear Patton could see it too by the way his face flushed, but he still bumped Logan's fist, helping Logan up.

Roman stared at Logan and Patton and then it finally hit him. The boy that Patton was talking about was Logan. That practically put Roman into an excited stance, knowing that he was seeing a love story in real time. Still, he stayed silent about it.

“What was that, Logan? Explain.”

“The rosary weakens my powers. I took it off during the shower and had a huge vision a couple nights before about a ghost taking Patton’s rosary. Then, Patton calls me today with a load of new information, and I decide to try and call a meeting for that. I drop my rosary and suddenly, I’m in another vision of the same thing at the school, and so I decide to do a risky thing because the vision continues into another part. I find out that Caleb’s using the rosary to try and break through the magic. He’s getting more powerful, but I’m now one step ahead of him. I get a quick stop at the hospital, and ask Remus to throw the rosary out the window. Grab that, grab six of my crystals I got from my parents, and then come here. Then, I take off the rosary, and decide to try something with Patton to watch me do it safely. It takes me over half an hour to learn how to be in visions at the same time as being in real life.” Logan explained, “Then, I come and greet you. Once I see the magical protective aura fall off of Patton, I turn on my power, and then use that to guide my actions.”

“So, what now?”

“Well, right now, I have six crystals. Remus will be fine without protection for the night. I’ll give him a crystal later.” Logan shrugged before taking them out of his bag and throwing them to Patton. Patton ducked and Janus, behind him, barely caught all of them, handing them to the boy.

“What do you want me to do?”

“Your magic aura is by far the most powerful. Lace them with your protection.” Janus seemed to understand now, “Even if Caleb finds a way to break through Virgil’s magic, it’ll be difficult for him to break through yours, and since yours is more powerful, it’ll be almost impossible.”

“Thank you, Janus.” Logan nodded, grateful for the explanation.

It wasn’t long before Patton had done just that, and Logan had handed everyone a crystal. Putting one away in his backpack, and putting one in his pocket, he turned to Virgil, “I don’t know if you know how to make these ghost-material like, but…he should have one too.”

“Suddenly started caring for the dead, huh?” Virgil smirked.

“Maybe a part of me feels a little uncomfortable with hurting your friends.”

“Not the fact that he’s your brother?”

“Virgil, give it up.” Logan gave a small smile, “My brother’s been dead for 4 years. If he was a ghost, the mediums my parents hired would’ve already found him. He’s nowhere to be seen, probably enjoying the afterlife. Whoever your friend is, although he may have the same name, is not my brother, Roman Sanders.”

Virgil exchanged a look with Roman who shrugged in response. Logan was right in some way. It didn’t make sense why despite the normal time for ghosts to appear in the world being a few months, his was 4 years. His little brother was now the same age as him. It didn’t make sense. It shouldn’t have happened in the first place.

Virgil sighed, taking the crystal and muttering something before holding it out to Roman. “Keep it and never take it off your body. Don’t let anybody touch it.”

“You can do that?” Roman gaped, grabbing the crystal as it dematerialized and was able to fit into his pocket without a thought of making himself touch it. It didn’t phase through his hand.

“I don’t like doing it a lot. It drains my power a bit.” Virgil murmured.

“What was the spell Patton cast after you collapsed?” Janus asked, deciding to change the subject.

“A follow spell.” Logan shrugged. “He can find anyone within a 25 foot radius, including ghosts. It’s linked to the keychain he has around his waist.”

Patton tossed it to Virgil, “Give it to your ghost friend. He can find where the kid went now, and that gives us a start to where Caleb might be, and what secrets Caleb might be holding.”

Virgil murmured something before tossing it over for Roman to catch it. Roman linked it onto his belt loop.

“Wait, does that mean that you were in on the plan the entire time?” Janus asked Patton.

“No, Logan was signing ‘follow book’ in ASL to me behind his back. No one else could see it, because only I was behind him.” Patton shrugged, “I looked at the book to find any following spells and I found it.”

“You guys make a good team.” Janus remarked.

“Go follow, Ro." Virgil turned to Roman. “Stay safe, and if you find anything too magically unnatural, come back. Don’t go in until we figure something out together, okay?”

-+=~=+-

Roman couldn’t understand how to use the keychain. No matter what he tried, there was nothing the keychain was doing. However, he wasn’t going to go back and ask them because he felt it was supposed to be simple. What he was doing currently was sitting at the nearby park, staring at the statue made in his honor trying to figure out how to use the keychain.

He heard some shuffling and looked up to see someone he thought looked familiar, but he couldn’t quite place where he knew his from.

“Hey, Roman. It’s been a while.” The woman nodded towards the boy, deciding to sit at the bench Roman was also sitting at. “I’d ask you how you are…but I’m sure you wouldn’t answer anyways.”

“I’m okay. Who are you?”

“Everyone misses you, especially your brother. I think, a little too much.”

Roman paused, staring at the woman.

“I guess it never really hit me until he recently snapped at me, but I think I’ve finally realized I’ve failed the both of you. I remember how lively and happy you used to be. Then, high school came around, and suddenly you became all serious. I loved it at the time. You took on more responsibilities and always made sure to help me out when I couldn't do anything, but I think I became a little too dependent on you. Soon, I was asking you for things that I should’ve asked the other teachers. Soon, your father started to ask you of things that you shouldn’t have to worry about. You were doing our taxes, doing your homework, grading tests, and helping with grade reports. Your father said you were doing fine, so I assumed you were. I was so stupid not to see that the only time you ever felt like yourself was when you were hanging out with your brother. With him, you didn’t change. You were the passionate, kind-hearted, and loud boy that was still growing, but with everyone else, including me, you were serious, quiet, and angry. You died and it felt like my whole world fell apart. Everything you had done now needed to be done by me again. I was suffering with the gain of responsibility and the loss of a son. I couldn’t get out of bed for months. Your father was almost nonexistent in our lives. Then, your brother stepped up. I should’ve been there for him, but then he stopped lashing out at us. He stopped being sad. He started wiping away his tears and mine. He went into freshman year, doing the things I should’ve done for him. He learned how to do our taxes, grade tests, do grade reports, and more just to fill the hole in our hearts. I stopped talking about you and stopped visiting your grave. I stopped being functional and started depending on your poor brother. Then, he took on even more responsibility without me asking. He started taking over my responsibilities, and I loved it. But then, I started to see it again too. He stopped being the happy-go-lucky boy he used to be, and started withdrawing from everyone and everything. He stopped having friends, stopped smiling, and more. I thought it was bullying, but I guess I was just too short-sighted.”

Roman was quiet. The memories were coming back to him. He remembered how his parents had asked him to take a little bit more responsibility as they were in the middle of figuring whether or not they should’ve divorced. Roman, who desperately wanted to shield Logan away from the conflict, agreed. Then, it started getting worse. Their father became more and more distant, and their mother became more and more dependent. Roman remembered the fights and the breakdowns he had alone in his room. He remembered pretending everything was fine for Logan, and pretending like nothing was wrong with blasting music loud enough to muffle their screaming.

“You tried so hard to protect Logan…and yet, I failed him too. I lost you a long time before you died…and I regretted every moment of that. However, I thought I still had Logan. Turns out, I lost him too the moment I stopped being a mother to him. I feel awful for the way I’ve put all my responsibilities on you. I’m sure your father feels awful for being emotionally unavailable to you. I’m so sorry.” His mother sobbed, falling to her knees. “This is all my fault.”

Roman felt his heart break. He spent his entirety of his high school career trying to make sure Logan would never have to experience the same thing, but a single car ride had left their family so broken.

“How do I fix this?”

“You can’t.” Roman replied coldly. “You hurt me, and as much as I don’t care about what you do to me….you hurt my brother.”

Their mother sighed, “I’m sorry. I’m asking you again when I shouldn’t be.”

Roman sighed, standing up, deciding it wasn’t worth it.

“I have so many things I want to say, but they’re not worth it to say to you. You’ve already ruined my life. You’ve ruined Logan. You wanted us to be with you until the end, but we’re not just your little ducklings that will follow you.” Roman groaned.

Then, in that moment that he said the word “follow”, the world lit up, showing blue footsteps. Roman blinked and after a few seconds, they disappeared.

“Follow!” Roman yelled and the footsteps showed again. They seemed to be going towards a direction and Roman laughed in happiness. His anger forgotten, he followed the footsteps all the way until they reached a building that he hadn’t seen before. Although he knew all the places around it, he swore that the building had not been there.

At the top of the building, the words “Covington Entertainment” were listed at the top. He remembered Virgil slightly mentioning the name. Before he could walk in though, he felt a dark aura come in between him, and suddenly, his crystal started to glow. Taking it out, he noticed that the crystal wrapped a magical aura around him, almost protecting him from the aura of the negative energy. The rosary would definitely break upon approaching the area, but Patton’s magic was strong enough to protect even a ghost. Roman put it back in his pocket, closed his eyes, and made a circle with his hands until he appeared at the school again.

He heard giggling and he opened his eyes to see Virgil on the ground rolling while he was laughing at him. Patton, Logan, and Janus, all who had been discussing something with the whiteboard, stopped to look at the boy.

“You were right, Janus. He does look ridiculous.” Virgil snorted.

“Did he do the thing?” Janus let amusement run across this face, “Dammit, I wish I could see him.”

“I’m not doing that again.” Roman grumbled.

“Aw, don’t say that.” Virgil teased, “What did you find?”

“...well, it’s nothing good.” Roman sighed, “He has an entire building, and it’s so powerful that I know the rosary would’ve broken upon even being around the building. The crystal glowed and put a protective barrier around me. Whatever is in there is dangerous, and I don’t know what will happen if I go in.”

“Can you draw the building for us?”

“Sure. I’ll even draw a map around it.” Roman shrugged, grabbing a whiteboard pen.

Logan jumped at the sight of it. “Sorry, I’m tired. I wasn’t expecting him to pick it up.”

“You should sleep.” Janus suggested.

“Not before we figure this out.” Logan mumbled, “I’ll drink a cup of coffee after this.”

“No, it’s a good idea if you guys sleep. We can take turns.” Virgil remarked, “You and Patton have been awake since this morning. You guys can go to sleep. Me and Janus can stay awake and help figure this out because we woke up an hour ago or so, then we can switch.”

Logan seemed clearly uneasy with the idea, but soon agreed upon seeing how worried Patton looked for him. He sighed, “Fine. I already sent the stuff saying that this was where our field trip was going to be. Try not to be so loud, and make sure to keep the crystal on you at all times.”

“Okay.” Virgil nodded.

Roman uncapped the pen, deciding that it was better if he started on the drawing while everyone was getting set up.

“Your friend’s a good artist.” Patton remarked.

Roman smiled as he wrote off to the side, “Thanks, Pat. You're the one that gave me the chance to find this place anyways.”

He drew from memory, ever so often looking to the side to see Logan pulling out blankets.

“Where are you getting these from?” Janus snorted.

“My mother’s the principal of the school. Of course there are going to be pillows for days that I have to stay late before my mother comes to drop me back home.” Logan replied.

Roman finished his drawing, stepping back to look at it.

“Woah.” Logan murmured as he stared at the drawing, right as he finished setting up a small bed area.

Roman erased the conversation he had with Patton and wrote to the side, “Between City Park Stationary, and Lowinres.”

“No, that’s impossible. There isn’t something between them. They’re right next to each other.”

“It was there.” Roman wrote.

“Janus and I will figure it out.” Virgil reassured Logan, urging them to go to sleep.

It wasn’t long before the two of them were settled in the makeshift bed, and sleep had succumbed to the two of them.

“I think I’m going to get some fresh air first, and call Re, if that’s okay with you?” Janus asked Virgil.

Virgil nodded, “Go ahead. I’ll talk to Ro in the meantime.”

“Why do you trust my brother so much?” Roman asked

“Hm?” Virgil raised an eyebrow.

“I mean, I love him with my heart, truly, but he’s a little stupid sometimes. He acts so logical, but sometimes that logic gets in the way of seeing what’s truly the reason behind. Why did you trust him when you took off your rosary? That was complete craziness.”

“The same reason why you trusted me so blindly when I told you I’d help you find your unfinished business. There’s this gut feeling inside you that knows they mean good.”

“My brother means good…but it still doesn’t mean it’ll work out well. Trust me, I’ve been in so many of his failed plans that I know what it’s like to watch his fail. I thought this one would fail, just as his other plans.”

“But you still did it despite thinking it would fail. In all those other times, you still participated in it. In this time, you trusted me who participated in it.” Virgil murmured, “I think a little part of you just wants to believe that your brother hasn’t fully grown up yet and maybe still needs your help.”

Roman stared at the boy he knew to be his younger brother, now the same age as him.

“He’s still the little boy I met when I was 10, to me.” Roman shrugged.

“Well, a part of him will always need you by his side. It’s just right now, he’s being strong. Logan’s a good person, but he’s a little strong-minded. He doesn’t want to accept that you might be you…because he’s spent a lot of his life suppressing his grief. I wouldn’t be surprised if he wants to believe you’re someone else so he doesn’t have to confront those feelings.”

Roman felt his heart warm by that a little. “I think I’m a little happy that he hasn’t forgotten me.”

“Are you kidding me? It’d be a mistake to forget you. Sometimes you’re a little annoying, but you truly make my days a little better. Thanks for that.” Virgil smiled.

“Thanks, Virge.”

“Course, Ro.” Virgil smiled, staring at the drawing he created, “You’re a good artist.”

“Thanks. It was my dream.” Roman murmured, staring at the boy. A strand of hair fell in front of Virgil's face, and Roman took that time to brush it behind his ear.

“Thanks.” Virgil murmured, “I just…wonder what’s going on with this. Why this? Why us?”

“I don’t know…but I don’t think there’s anything we’ll learn unless we dive right into the center. I have to go in there.”

“But…?”

“I don’t think I’ll come out the same.” Roman murmured, “I mean you heard the kid. He warned me against listening to his promises.”

“So what do you want to do?”

“See if Logan is my unfinished business before I risk my life. I don’t know what happened before I died, but it’s clear it was big enough for him to regret everything he said to me.”

“I’ll look into it.”

Roman couldn’t help but feel so happy that Virgil was willing to help him out. Then, he didn’t know when, but somewhere along the lines of understanding Virgil was his platonic soulmate, a part of him learned to see how beautiful he looked.

“Thank you for everything.” Roman murmured.

“I just…need you to stay safe. Promise me that much.”

“I can’t.”

“I know.” Virgil whispered, nodding, “Just pretend for a second.”

Roman stared at the artificial lights on the ceiling, “I can't make a promise I can't keep.”

“You were always so truthful like that.” Virgil sighed, looking down.

“Hey, I’m not going just yet.”

“I know. I am just scared.”

“Why? You’re not the one really risking your life.”

“Roman, you don’t understand the life of a medium. I have moved so many times in my life. I have seen so many ghosts, heard so many stories, helped so many of them find the afterlife. I have lost every single one of my friends, and I know that I will have to say goodbye to you one day. I just…don’t know if I want to lose you too. You’ve been so nice and amazing to me. You’ve been a great friend, and honestly, there’s a connection between us that I’ve never had before with anyone. You understand me, and I don’t want to lose you before you’re ready. I’ve never felt this way with someone before.”

Roman felt his face heat up, and prayed that it wasn’t red. He just smiled, trying to ignore the pounding heartbeat in his ears.

Okay…maybe Virgil being vulnerable was cute. Maybe a part of him could admit that he wouldn’t have minded if they were more than friends. But the logical part of him said that Virgil was a lifer while Roman wasn't. Virgil had the rest of his life when Roman didn’t. They couldn’t even physically touch each other. How would their relationship ever work out?

-+=~=+-

“I think we should visit Remus.” Logan suggested to the entire group as soon as they were all wide awake.

“Uh huh.” Patton murmured, laying on the table.

Well…they were all awake. That was what mattered in the end. Logan and Patton were in the process of chugging their second cup of coffee while Virgil and Janus had just woken up.

“Do you think it’d be a smart idea to dump a cold bucket of water above Patton’s head?” Roman asked, staring at the boy who was half-dead.

“If you have a death wish.” Virgil snorted, “Come on, let’s go see Remus.”

Although Roman had immediately teleported into the hospital, he knew it would take the humans a little longer to travel with transportation.

Almost immediately after teleporting himself outside of Remus’s room, he felt the magical aura shift. The crystal glowed brighter as it enveloped Roman fully and he took a deep breath, crossing his fingers as he hoped the crystal worked as expected.

He walked in to see Remus sleeping, with a weak pulse. Roman blinked, staring at Remus. Next to Remus was a ghost that he hadn’t seen anywhere, but somehow he knew the name of.

The ghost was a man, about 45 year old, sitting next to Remus, with dirty blonde hair, and a beard. He was holding a metal cane that scraped against the ground with a horrible grinding noise anytime he moved. The man’s red eyes sent a chill down Roman’s spine.

“Caleb.”

Caleb turned to look at Roman, grinning, “Ah, so we’ve finally met. This is such an inconvenient time to meet.”

“Uh huh.” Roman stared at the adult in front of him, “Who are you and what do you want?”

“Why, you already know that part. I’ve heard a lot of your plans, I know you know about me, and who I am. I know your brother knows a lot about me.”

“But we don’t know why. We don’t know what you want from us, and most of all, we don’t know why you keep messing with us.”

“Ah, my dear Roman, you’ll find out through time.” Caleb clicked the roof of his tongue, “In the meanwhile, I’m afraid that I’m getting more and more powerful while you and your ragtag group of ‘heroes’ are lagging behind. It’s almost as if you haven’t learned from your mistakes.”

“Mistakes…? What are you talking about?” Roman scoffed.

“Oh, that’s right. You wouldn’t remember. I wiped your memory.” Caleb snorted, “It’s for your own good.”

“You…wiped my memory?” Roman didn’t understand a thing coming out of Caleb’s mouth, “How? How could you even do that? How do you even know my name?”

“That is something only your memories can answer, and I’m afraid there’s no way I’m giving them back to you. I may be a lot more powerful now, but I am not going to risk letting you learn from the mistakes you made before.”

Roman’s blood ran cold. He had been in this exact place, with someone else. He knew that there was something he was missing, and that he wouldn’t be able to find it unless he forcefully took it back.

“My memories have been coming back.”

“Oh, bah humbug. Those are all the memories I don’t care about.” Caleb scoffed, “I don’t care if you remember your brother, or the fact that you build hundreds of book nooks with him. I don’t care if you remember talking to the pretty boy who sat next to you in third grade. I care about the important ones, and trust me, Roman Sanders, you are far from ever learning what those important ones are even about, let alone how to learn from those mistakes.”

“You’re saying that I’m going through the same things again. I’ll make the same mistakes, sure…but I’ll learn from them again.” Roman put a brave face on, “This time, I’m sure I have more enforcements.”

“The truth is, you have less. Before…you were a group of 6, and throughout the entire escapade, you had your brother to take care of, leaving you with a group of 7. Now, I was lucky enough to spare your brother, but, trust me, just like before, your group of 6 will soon fall under my hands, and you will regret ever coming to face me again.”

“You’re a bad person.”

“Oh, I know that.” Caleb sneered, “I’ve heard that phrase too many times by every single Sanders I’ve come across. I’m sure that when your brother sees me next, he’ll say the same thing. You guys are all the same. Your entire family wants to be the good guys, the heroes. You bring a group of your friends together to try and fight against me, but you always, and I mean always fail. You Sanders are too puny to be heroes, and it is because of your entire family that makes me more and more powerful the next time I come across another generation.”

Roman didn’t know what to say to that, but it was clear Caleb was done with his ranting. He sighed, “I’ll let you and your heroes play pretend, but I promise you that your time is coming, and there is nothing you can do to stop it. All you can do is give up now.”

Caleb held his hand out for Roman to shake. All Roman did was slap it away.

“I won’t. My group won’t. Unlike the other generations, we will succeed. I got a second chance to help my brother succeed.”

“You dumb boy.” Caleb chuckled before he grinned, “I look forward to your demise then. If you ever change your mind…you know where to find me.”

With that, Caleb poofed out of existence, leaving Roman alone in the middle, staring at the unconscious and weak Remus.

-+=~=+-

Roman didn’t move from his frozen position. Not even when Remus woke up. Not even when the nurses around came to check on Remus. It was only when he heard voices that he jumped back, and waited for them to walk into the room.

Virgil was the first to see Roman, and he raised an eyebrow upon seeing his face, “You okay? You look like you just saw a ghost.”

Roman smiled weakly, “Ha.”

Virgil’s face melded into worry, “Are you okay? What happened?”

“I don’t know how to explain it.” Roman whispered, “I just….he was here.”

“Who?” Virgil’s shoulders tensed up.

“Yo, thanks for checking in on me.” Remus joked at Virgil, who had been the only one talking, everyone else waiting for him to finish speaking to Roman.

Virgil paced over to where Remus was before he pressed his hand onto his forehead, “Jesus Christ, you’re burning up.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Sarcasm dripped out of Remus��s mouth, “And thanks for keeping the secret, Patton.”

“Get over it.” Logan made a face, “I’d rather help you not die than to keep your integrity when you’re dead.”

At that moment, Roman managed a small smile, “That’s my brother.”

Roman blinked, watching Janus walk to the other side of Remus to squeeze his hand. Remus smiled at Janus.

Janus turned towards where Virgil was looking, blinking at Roman, “Woah. I didn’t know he was here.”

“Who else did you think he was talking to?” Logan grumbled.

“Jeez, I forgot how aggressive Logan could be without sleep.” Roman snorted, “I, uh…saw something. Your friend over here was asleep when it happened.”

“What?”

“Caleb. I saw him.” Roman sighed, “I didn’t understand most of what he said, but what I did understand…wasn’t good.”

“What did he say?”

“That I’ve been through this before. He told me he was the one who wiped my memories. A group of 6, just like us now, went in to confront him. There were mistakes made that cost all my friends their lives. Everyone except mine and Logan’s.”

“Logan was also there?” Virgil turned to Logan, who was writing in the journal with Patton standing over him.

“What?” Logan raised an eyebrow, “Where?”

“He told me I was lucky he spared him, but he said that every single one of our ancestors before us had gone through the same thing, and every time, he had beaten them. I don’t know.” Roman huffed.

“You know anything about your ancestors facing Caleb?” Remus asked Logan.

“I don’t know anything about my ancestors.” Logan remarked, running his fingers through his hair. Roman remembered that he always looked to the right when he was lying.

“He’s lying.” Roman remarked.

“You’re lying.” Janus remarked.

Logan scoffed, “I’m not. I don’t know anything about my ancestors.”

He looked to the right again, and Roman knew he wasn’t going to budge.

“Let me talk to him.” Roman remarked.

“Logan, come here and talk to him yourself.”

Fear flashed through Logan’s eyes, and he watched as his expression shifted into a stern one. He was reliving every moment of their last moments, and Roman couldn’t help but feel horrible for whatever they said to each other for him to continue regretting it four years after his death.

“I’m in the middle of doing something.”

“What are you so scared of? What are you hiding?”

“I’m not hiding anything.” Logan shook his head.

Virgil turned to Roman, “It’s your choice. What do you want to do?”

Roman stared at Logan, and stared at his notes, “Janus, you can take over his notes.”

“Sorry?” Janus raised an eyebrow. “Why? He can still write.”

“I know my brother. There’s something he’s hiding that he clearly doesn’t want to relive, and there’s no way you’re getting it out of him, unless you do something a little illegal.” 

“A little?” Virgil remarked.

“You’re going to have to tell Patton to pin Logan down and also tell him to protect his balls.”

“What?” Both Janus and Virgil snapped, confused.

Remus seemed to understand, yelling at Patton, “Patton, it’s Operation Wrestling time!”

“You have a code name for that?” Virgil asked.

“Course we do.” Remus snorted, everyone watching as Patton ran towards Logan, trying to pin him down. Almost immediately, Logan tried to duck, aiming for his private area and hurt him where it really hurt. However, Patton was faster, and he dodged Logan, grabbing both his wrists and pinning them to the floor. Soon after, he put his knee over Logan’s stomach and his other leg over Logan’s legs. He was fully pinned down.

“Well, not like that.” Roman scowled.

Patton looked down at Logan, who was fully at his mercy, “Promise you’ll behave?”

Logan nodded, but Roman watched as his fingers crossed and he knew that it would be game over as soon as Patton let go of him. Patton did just that, shifting his legs off of him, and almost immediately, Logan tried to kick Patton in the balls again, but Patton was once again faster.

Patton turned, pushing Logan to the ground right as he got up, and put his knee over Logan’s knees, leaving his with his legs pinned to the ground and his wrists behind his back.

“Lesson number one in self-defense: never let the enemy get close to you, or else he’ll be able to predict what you’re about to do.” Patton smirked as he motioned for Virgil, “You needed him?”

“Right…” Virgil blinked, “Uh, Ro wanted to talk to you.”

“Thank you, Virge.” Roman grinned as Virgil went to hold Logan’s wrist.

Logan immediately winced, trying to pull his hand away. Virgil’s grip and Patton still pinning his down was enough to keep him in place. It took a minute, but soon enough, Logan stopped struggling, staring at Roman. He watched emotion flood through Logan's eyes.

“Hey, nougat. Long time no see.” Roman grinned.

Logan stared at him, almost in disbelief that he was kneeling in front of him. He watched as he blinked, and suddenly, silent tears started streaming down his face.

“You want to tell me why you’re hiding the information you know about our ancestors?”

Logan sniffled, looking away from Roman, and up. he scoffed, “What kind of cruel prank are you guys playing on me?”

“This isn’t a prank. I’m really here.”

“It’s really him.” Patton remarked, wiping Logan’s face with a smile. “Talk to him.”

“You want to answer my question?” Roman asked.

“I don’t know anything.” Logan’s voice cracked, trying hard not to sob.

“That’s a lie, and we both know it. You’re going to have to help me here, Lo. I don’t remember everything about my past, and I know that you do. Just tell me.”

Logan was silent for a while, trying to stop himself from crying. Then, after a few minutes, he finally spoke, “You were supposed to live. I was supposed to die.”

“What?”

“The mark of death, the liar's breath, the special one, the favorite sun, the hourglass, and the impasse. The six destined to come across me, the six destined to fall to my arms. Beware, for, if you come one by one, not all six will come out when it’s done.” Logan spoke.

“That’s the same prophecy Caleb told me.” Remus’s voice was quiet, but enough for everyone else to hear.

“And you didn’t bother to tell us earlier?” Virgil snapped, glaring, “Whatever, conversation for later.”

“The mark of death was your friend. Diagnosed with the same illness. The liar's breath, his boyfriend who could create ice out of thin air. The favorite sun was you. The hourglass was your friend who would start and stop time. Finally, the impasse, the one who was physically the strongest. There were only supposed to be six people.”

“Okay?”

“I followed you to Caleb. I prophesied every single one of them dying. I prophesied myself dying. I was supposed to die in that lair, but then something happened, and instead, you found me in there. Caleb spared us, only on the premises that we would never come back. He made us forget everything about that, but he said that I was still predestined to die. You begged him, telling him that I didn’t deserve that at such a young age. You traded your life for mine.”

“But I didn’t die at the hands of Caleb.”

“No, but Caleb transferred my fate of death to you. You were bound to die the way I was supposed to.” Logan murmured, “Then, I forgot everything. You did too. We all forgot. And for some reason, he wants us to remember now.”

“What if his power’s getting weaker?”

“Impossible. He’s getting stronger.” Logan scoffed, “Remus’s getting weaker. He wants us to remember because of one thing.”

“What?”

“The prophecy’s given us another chance to try and fix this.” Logan murmured, “And he wants us to quiver in fear knowing that he will succeed again.”

“Someone, please make sense here.” Patton begged, still holding Logan down to make sure he wouldn’t escape at any moment.

“The universe wants us to be the heroes of this story.” Logan murmured, “The universe wants us to save Remus.”

“Great, that’s good!”

“That’s not good. It means we have a limited amount of time before there is a chance all of us might die.” Logan muttered, “It means that this second chance might have a bleaker ending than the first chance gave us.”

“English?” Patton asked Logan again.

“Get off me and I’ll explain it.” Logan huffed.

“Not a chance. I get off you and you find a way to kick me in the nuts.”

Remus chirped in, “Basically...Caleb’s being an arrogant little bitch.”

“Ah.” Patton remarked, “Let’s go kick him in the nuts then.”

“No…he’s not too confident that he’ll win to give us all our memories back. There’s something me and Roman both don’t have…that would be the reason his plan fails.” Logan murmured, “It still doesn’t make sense. Why we went through this once…why we’re going through this again…why he bothers even warning us…why you were non-existent in the world for over 4 years only to reappear as a ghost now.”

“He mentioned that all of our ancestors have been through this exact thing, and all of them have fallen.”

“All I know about our family is that there has always been someone in every generation that has died. This may be the first step to finding out more. I’ll go talk to our parents.”

“What should the rest of us do?” Remus asked.

Janus walked over to grab the crystal out of Logan’s backpack on the nearby chair. He then gave it to Remus, “Whatever you do, don’t let this leave your side.”

“Someone’s going to go back to the school, and they’re going to look through all the notes I have on Michsleif Uchawi Cancer, and they’re going to find out more about the people who also had that cancer.” Logan commanded, “Then, someone else is going to research everything they can about everything related to Caleb, and you can refer to all the notes I’ve created on him.”

“Great. Virgil and I will go with Logan. Janus and Patton can go back-”

“No.” Logan shook his head, “I’m going with Janus. Virgil, stay here with Remus. Play nice, Ro.”

“What?” Roman gaped. “Why? It makes sense for me to come with you, and Virge's our best bet at translating between us. Remus can be here by himself, and there needs to be two people who help with researching because-”

Virgil seemed to understand, “He’s right, Gray. I need to stay with Remus just in case Caleb comes back. It’s too dangerous for you to stay here. With Logan, he needs to remain unemotional, and Janus can give him that support in this conversation. Which leaves you and Patton to go back and research.”

Roman stared at Patton, “Uh huh…and you’re sure?”

“Hey, Logan said to play nice.” Virgil teased, “Come on, do you not trust your brother?”

“He got me killed!” Roman accused.

Logan scoffed, his mouth agape, “For your information, had you not tried to protect me, we wouldn’t be in this situation. Whose fault is it now?”

“Still yours.” Roman grumbled, rolling his eyes, “Fine. Fine. I’ll go back with Patton.”

“Thank you.”

-+=~=+-

Roman spent the next five hours researching everything he could on the cancer and how it could’ve related with his relatives, telling Patton to look at anything relating to Caleb. It probably would've taken only four if the two didn't stop every once in a while to chat as if they were best friends who hadn't seen each other in years.

It wasn’t until late that they all came back together, meeting at the school with Remus on facetime.

“Alright, what have we got here?”

Roman decided to start scribbling his notes down while Logan explained what he had.

“Right, so there has been someone who has died in every generation of my family. It started with my great-grandpa.” Logan began, “His best friend had cancer, which I have to assume was Michsleif. 2 years after he gave birth to his twin daughters, he died, along with his best friend. When his twin daughters were 5, they met a friend who had cancer. Only one lived to give birth to two healthy baby boys, one that became our father, and the other that was our uncle. Our uncle died around the age of 23, with five of his friends, with my uncle having a rare cancer. Our father lived to give birth to Roman…and when Roman was 17, he had a friend who was sick with this same cancer. We know what happened there.”

“Every single one of them has passed away.” Virgil murmured, “There’s got to be some reason why it’s kept inside the Sanders bloodline.”

“Get this…every single one of the groups had 6 people. Every single one of them except for the one that caused Roman to die in the first place.” Logan shrugged.

They looked over to see Roman reporting the same thing about the cancer, with more information about each patient diagnosed. Unfortunately, there was no common pattern.

“Right, that leaves me.” Patton sighed, “Uh, Caleb was a troubled man. He died at an early age because he was said to be searching for something valuable. No one knew what it was, but it was clear that when he became a ghost, that was his unfinished business. He’s probably still looking for it to this day. The person he possessed was his son, and when his son died, his son moved to the afterlife as there was no unfinished business. Caleb probably has been looking for his unfinished business to return back to his son.”

“I doubt it. Even if he solves the whole unfinished business, he’s forever trapped within the in between of the spirit and real world.” Virgil chirped up, “It was the risk of possessing his son in the first place.”

“Then is there any way to get rid of him?”

“There’s an ancient spell that’s very risky, but it works.”

“Great! What’s the risk?”

“The user might lose their life. A life for a life.”

“But in this case, Caleb wouldn’t be resurrected.”

“Lives can’t be created or destroyed easily, much like matter.” Virgil remarked, “It’s a complicated process but from what I know, in the afterlife, you’re offered rebirth, or the ability to stay in the afterlife looking over things. When you go into the afterlife, you learn about all your past lives, and decide whether or not what to do. It’s a cycle. All we would be doing is wiping all his memories and making Caleb start off as another person. Hopefully, in that case, he won't end up the same. There is a rare case that souls get created through a weird force that I don’t really understand myself, but there’s no way for a soul to be destroyed.”

“Great.” Sarcasm dropped out of Janus’s mouth, “We’re screwed.”

“Don’t think like that.” Patton remarked, “I’d like to say we have less than a 1% chance at winning.”

“Still greater than 0!” Remus grinned, coughing.

“Jeez, you look worse off than wear.” Logan snorted, “How you feeling?”

“Better.” Remus croaked.

“Sleep more. You’ll get it out of your system soon.”

“Thanks.”

Before they could say more, there was a knock at the door.

Logan turned.

“Logan, honey?”

“Yeah?”

“You and your lovely club for cancer are having a meeting there, but I thought that maybe you were working too hard.”

Logan made a face, mouthing a lot of bitter sayings Roman found unreadable.

“I’d like to invite everyone over for a sleepover. I don’t think you’ve had the chance to be a kid in a while, so please. Just don’t think about your classes, or clubs, or anything. Just do what teens do, and have a sleepover together. I think it’d be very nice for you.”

“We’d love that. Thank you, Ms. Sanders!” Virgil yelled out before Roman and Logan could protest in return.

“Great! Let me know when you’re ready to head home. I want to prepare everything before you get back. I love you, Lo.”

“Uh huh.” Logan murmured, before he turned towards the whiteboard.

“You didn’t say it back.” Patton remarked as he turned towards Logan.

“Yeah, well, I stopped saying it once I stopped meaning it.” Logan exhaled, “And I stopped meaning it when my brother died.”

“Rough.” Patton patted his back. “Well now that your brother’s back, maybe you can start saying it again.”

Roman hated how much sense Patton made. Ever since he died, he noticed the boy had lost so much of the love he stored inside of his heart.

Despite that, everyone decided to drop the subject.

It was long before the sky turned dark, and they all traveled to Logan’s house. Logan offered them clean clothes, food, and more as an amazing host. It wasn’t long before everyone crashed out, as they hadn’t gotten much sleep from the past few days.

Roman didn’t need sleep as a ghost. That meant he would be up for the rest of the night, almost creepily watching the other kids sleep. He was lucky that Logan left him some paper to sketch with. He decided to take the time to just start drawing. At midnight, he heard heavy breathing in the room. Stopping the doodle of an eye, he turned to see Logan tossing and turning. The way they were situated had Logan in his bed, Patton sleeping on the floor mattress, and Virgil and Janus in two single pull-outs.

He watched as Logan made a scared noise before he gasped, sitting up in bed. Logan blinked, looking around as he felt his heartbeat, trying to assure himself he was alive and real. Roman stopped trying to find a pulse a long time ago.

Roman looked more closely and saw silent tears streaming down Logan's face. He sniffled, wiping them away and looking around. he froze upon seeing the floating pen and paper.

“Hi.” He wrote in the notebook, showing it to Logan.

Logan threatened Roman, “You tell anyone about this, and I’ll make you regret it.”

Roman knew his brother, and knew he was more bark than bite. He took the opportunity to write on the board, “You okay?”

“Just a nightmare, or vision. I hope it’s the former.” Logan shuddered.

“Sorry.” Roman wrote before going back to his doodling.

Logan shrugged, walking over to where Roman was to look at his drawing. It was an accurate side profile drawing of Virgil, but for some reason, he was having a lot of trouble on the eyes.

“Let it droop down. Our family has bigger eyes and you've only drawn family in your portraits. Virgil has more of a downturned shape there.” Logan remarked, pointing to the one eye facing towards them.

Roman did just that, happy with his result.

There was silence as Logan stared at the drawing, and Roman not knowing what to say.

“What was the nightmare about?” Roman asked, finally breaking the silence.

“There’s a big earthquake.” Logan murmured, “I don’t want to go further in detail.”

“It must be pretty bad for you to wake up like that.”

“Patton died.” Logan’s voice was void of emotion.

“He’s important to you?”

“He’s not.” Logan scoffed, his gaze shifting to the sleeping boy on the floor.

“Uh huh…tell that to your crying when you woke up. You can tell me anything.”

Logan hesitated, “He’s not that important to me. He’s just someone who’s been the only unchanging thing in a world that is moving a little too fast for my liking. I enjoy his company. That’s all there is to it.”

“That sounds like he’s someone really important. I understand that feeling.”

“Uh huh.” Logan nodded, “Cause Virgil was the first medium you found after three months of loneliness?”

“Basically. He’s my platonic soulmate.”

“I don’t think platonic soulmates draw each other on sketch paper.” Logan remarked.

“I don’t think people who are not really that important to you show up in your dreams.” Roman shot back.

“Touche.” Logan snorted, “Virgil’s a nice person.”

“I know.”

“Please don’t let him down.” Logan croaked, “If he’s really your soulmate…listen to him. Even if your heart is telling you to save someone else. Please.”

“Part of another vision you had?”

“I can’t tell you, Roman.” Logan murmured, “I just…you have to promise me.”

“Promise you what?”

“That no matter how much you want to, no matter how much I call for you, no matter how loud I cry, you don’t try to save me. You follow Virgil’s directions, and if he tells you to leave me to die, you do what he says.” Logan’s voice cracked.

Roman’s hand shook and he gripped the pen. “I can’t promise you that, Logan.”

“Please.” Logan begged.

“You’re my brother. I made it my goal to always protect you. I’m not going to go back on that goal.”

“You don’t understand. Thousands more will die if you don’t. Please…” Logan begged.

“Logan, I’m not letting you die. I prevented it once, I’ll do it again. It’s my job as an older brother.”

“And you’re an asshole if you think I’m going to let you die again.” Logan scoffed, “Please.”

“No. End of story.”

“Then, prepare for a vital mistake.” Logan breathed sharply before he turned away, walking out of the room, “If anyone asks, I’m going for a walk outside. I’ll be safe.”

“I know” was Roman’s response, and he watched the boy grab his crystal on the way out. He trusted Logan. He trusted Virgil, but he trusted his own judgment more. There was no way that Roman was going to let anyone tell him who to save.

Still, Roman looked at the sleeping figure of Virgil, and his heart skipped a beat. Maybe a part of him would hesitate if Virgil’s judgment conflicted with his. However, they had been pretty good at agreeing so far. He hoped that day never had to come, and if it did, it was over something stupid and not fatal or life-threatening. ——————– they finally met each other :)

If you enjoyed this, please consider reblogging! Reblogging helps me a lot and it's just two clicks of a button (trust me, likes don't do anything to help me). Check out my masterlist for more, feel free to request any writings, and stick around if you want to see the rest of what I have in store for this! :)

[dragonofeternal]

So this year has been really, really good in terms of like... reminding/validating that I'm actually like smart and good at what I do?

Like.

First off, I got my new job which whips ass and is super fun and challenging and pays way better and where my ability to do nine million different things is like very valuable. Like oh yeah, I can reformat this word doc/that powerpoint. Do you want me to do a little bit of graphic design to make this actually look nicer? Oh, you need this video for a presentation but it's on a site other than youtube? Yeah sure, I'll rip it for you. And also just the day-to-day of being able to take good notes, and being able to help copyedit training materials, and generally being a pleasant and mostly on top of things person in the office.

THEN, I took one of Killian's creative writing classes along with them. Which, for one thing, was super fun, good teacher, nice to have an organized space/time to hang out and talk about writing. But also it was really validating to have someone outside of the internet/my inner circle of friends read and critique my work who was like... I dunno another adult/serious writer type person? Our teacher is a published poet -- Though more specifically she's prolific as a TRANSLATOR of poetry. A fair number of the translated Palestinian poets you've seen being posted around tumblr recently are most certainly her work. -- and when she realized the level I was writing at she started critiquing my work a lot harder. Still had nice stuff to say! Just also being willing to dig in and point out places where I could improve.

We actually hung out with her last night at a fellow classmate's band's show and she took both me and Killian aside for expanded critique/thoughts on our final pieces, and said some really nice stuff which included that she sees both of us as like professional-grade writers who should continue to hone their craft and who she really wants to see succeed/get shit published/etc. I'm currently letting a short story (that is... probably gonna end up as a novella orz) that I wrote for class sit before I do another draft of it, and then she's offered to do a more critical line edit for me so I can shop it around and get it published somewhere really good.

(Which is also interesting because I see myself as working very much in genre spaces and she's very in the "literary" sort of mode, and she said that she saw a lot of literary prowess and style in how I wrote which she could see getting it published in a more literary type journal. And that's like a weird/wild thought bc of my complicated thoughts on the way the literary/publishing world looks at and treats genre writing blah blah blah....)

At the SAME show, though, our teacher had brought along a friend, who is also a teacher at the community college. Said friend works for the theatre department and recognized me from volunteering to act at a one-day event last semester for Killian's playwriting class. Like this was an event where I was acting for MAYBE a grand total of fifteen minutes. And she basically said "HEY YOU'RE REALLY GOOD, WHY HAVEN'T I SEEN YOU AT ANY OF THE AUDITIONS?" So then I chatted with her some about how I've done a lot of theatre over the years but time/jobs/money meant I haven't had a chance to in a long time...

But now my job is a 9-5! So I gave her my number and I'm now basically the understudy for if/when someone drops out of the productions currently going on. Apparently they have a lot of issues with people dropping suddenly so it's likely that I'll end up doing something next semester! Which is good cuz like. Damn, do I love the theatre, and I've missed it A LOT.

I dunno just having two different people being really impressed about my creative work in a short time was really, really mood/ego boosting? I dunno. When I last did theater in Pittsburgh I ended up feeling really burnt out by the exhausting sense of always having to hunt for work, feeling like I wasn't good enough, etc... And last year I was struggling a lot with feeling like all my writing was futile/unwanted/etc... So having people remember me and be super complimentary was. Nice.