#I've been sitting on this for days and i still feel good about it.
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right of course we all think that rafe is dominant in bed alright- but what do we think about submissive rafe wanting to be taken care of after a tiring day? can you write sum for that???
your theme and writing is just so ugghh i love it and i think your writing style would fit my request so GOOD
anon this made me giggle you're the sweetest. <3 !!! confession time i've never written dom!reader before so this is an amazing req :]
pent up ! bf!rafe x reader.
ꕀ warnings - smut, this is so filthy good lord, switching the dynamics up, dom!reader and sub!rafe, handjob, orgasm denial, he whimpers guys, riding. wc - 1.4k
it’s quite the norm for rafe to come back home all pent up after a long day, sometimes dishevelled and mostly pissed off. it was as if something wrong happened to him every day, at least in his eyes. it was slightly amusing, though you’d never tell him that, lest it does nothing but makes his mood all the more sour.
though it was nothing like today. he hadn’t muttered a word when he came back home from work, hadn’t spared a glance at you, eyes down and lips pursed tightly as he stomped his way into the bedroom. you wouldn’t even have noticed his presence if it weren’t for the sound of his footsteps. rightfully concerned, you rose from the couch where you’d been waiting for him, following after him.
“rafe?” you asked, noting the way his shoulders visibly stiffened up.
“i’m not in the mood.” he grumbled out, not as snappy as usual, just tired and bummed out. you tilted your head curiously, still stepping closer to him until you were in front of him. at this point, you’d gotten used to not caring about the rather hurtful words he’d be spewing out when mad.
“c’mon, what happened?” you asked, hands gently moving up to cup his face. despite the frustration etched on his face, he leaned it, earning a smile on your face as your fingernails lightly scratched against his skin, soothing his nerves.
“stupid fucking- stupid bitch tried to scam me. do people thing i’m fucking dumb, that i’m just some… incompetent replacement of my father?” he rambled on rather hastily, causing his words to get mixed and fumbled. you listened, gently guiding him on the bed. he didn’t resist at all, too exhausted to complain or start another argument that he’d normally do when tired.
“you must be so tired, huh? seems like a really bad day.” you sat down beside him, wrapping your arms around his neck, feeling him lean into you. limp and compliant, he rested his head on your shoulder and groaned, pulling you up to sit on his lap, craving nothing but your warmth.
“you’ve no idea.” he huffed against your skin, shuddering when he felt you massaging his tense nape.
rafe was never one to fall into submission. he always had to be on the top, to assert his power over others, anything to fill something. though with you, it was less about power and more about letting him do all the work so you were constantly showered in affection. but today, none of that was playing in his head. he wanted, no, needed you, but he was just so tired.
“baby…” he breathed out while you felt his thighs twitch under your hips, aching to ground up against your crotch.
“do you want me to take care of you, rafe?” the sweetness laced with your words made his heart clench as he pulled his head away from your neck to look at you, blue eyes desperately pleading, cheeks flushed. fuck, he looked beautiful like this, needy with glossy eyes, his fingers harshly tightly into your sides without even realising it.
you let him hold you in whatever way he’d like, your hands finding their way to unbuckle his pants and tugging down slightly along his briefs until his cock sprung out, all heavy and hard, tip already leaking. you couldn’t help but wonder if you could make him cum in his pants, maybe some other day. it already looked like his cock was hurting enough.
“poor baby.” you cooed, words naturally coming out of you much to your surprise. your soft palms against his cock felt like heaven to him, and it was taking everything within him to not thrust up against your hands like something feral. he tried to relax on the mattress, leaning against the headboard as he breathed deeply, feeling your palm swipe up against his sensitive tip, rubbing slowly and lightly, as if barely even touching.
“fuck- stop teasing me.” he hissed through gritted teeth which soon dissolved into a choked moan when your thumb beginning to rub on his tip firmly, collecting the beads of precum before rubbing them down his length. the poor guy was literally trembling from pleasure, not having realised how much tension he had stored within him.
his hands continued to rest on your hips, clenching and tugging at your shirt to ground yourself as one hand of yours rubbed up and down his cock while the other rubbed against the swollen tip. his lips were parted, threatening to swoon as his hips began to involuntarily buck up, his mind feeling all bleary from the sheer bliss coursing within him.
“it’s okay, i’m here for you, and i’m really proud of everything you do for me, for us.” you reassured, unable to suppress a grin at the way his eyes rolled back into his skull at that, just so ecstatic to finally hear someone say that. he’d make sure to worship you fully after this, to kiss you all over, but for now this was all that mattered.
“shit, i’m so-” he couldn’t properly finish his words, whimpering out loudly as his eyes squeezed shut, chasing his orgasm. almost there, almost-
you pulled your hands away, his eyes flying up as he stared at you in shock, still sensitive and fuzzy from almost getting an orgasm. you could’ve sworn those were tears that welled up in those tired eyes of his as he grunted, shaking his head. “w-what, why?!”
“just hold on. patience.” you snickered to yourself, a seductive revenge for every time he’d done the same to you in the past. “you’ve to be a good boy for me or else you won’t be coming tonight.” you spoke as firmly as you could, your amusement still seeping in.
much to your shock, he didn’t retort or fight back, glaring at you as he chewed on his bottom lip. “please…” he croaked out, needily rubbing his denied cock against the front of your shorts. your hand gently smacks the top of his cock, earning a muffled noise from him. seeing him sensitive was surely one of your new favourite things now.
“fine… ‘cause you’re just so tired.” you cooed, lifting your hips up to gently take down your shorts and panties, rewarding him with the view of your pussy that he’d been yearning to see, all soaked. “see? you did this to me.” your fingers teasingly spread your slick folds apart, watching the way his eyes were practically fucking you hungrily alone from his vision.
“please…” he whined out, not even hiding all those pretty noises anymore. he was always loud, but never this pathetic. it was so endearing in a way. positioning your pussy on top of his cock, you slowly sunk in, moaning pleasantly as his girth stretched you out in the best way possible. his head lolled back, gripping your hips tight. fuck, he could just cum like this, already so close to explode.
your hips begin grinding against him teasingly, your walls tightening around him while you moved up and down, feeling his cock pulsating within your warmth. there was just something so special, so him whenever he’d start hitting all the sweet spots inside you with such ease. but something that was much sweeter was the fact that he was obediently taking it all, letting you ride him without him thrusting up into you greedily no matter how much he’d want to.
“you can cum in me, baby.” you encouraged him, causing his eyes to widen. his arms were wrapped around you as his head nuzzled into the crook of your neck, feeling you bounce up and down on his cock until he finally reached his peak, his cock twitching maddeningly, thick spurts of cum spurting within your pussy.
he panted heavily, sweat clinging to his forehead, not minding the way your hands began to take off his shirt so he could breathe freely, his chest all flushed. you didn’t pull away yet, letting his cock rest snugly inside you, his lips letting out an incoherent mumble as he clung onto you tight.
“i love you…” he lazily peppered kisses on your neck. drained out, but now in the best possible way.
#sun.mail ★#sun.works ★#rafe x reader#rafe cameron x reader#obx x reader#rafe cameron#rafe fanfiction#rafe outer banks#rafe obx#yk what this is kinda subtle brat taming if we analyse enough
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Born Too Late - Chapter 5
pairing/au: neighbor!joel x reader // no outbreak
Warnings: MDNI!!! SMUT (2 chapters in a row :0.. So much for slow burn), age gap, no use of y/n, i think thats it fr, dirty talk, unprotected p in v (be smart yall, wrap it up) lemme know if i missed something :)
Summary: Sarah's conference is this week and seeing Joel is not on your list of things you want to do. Then he invites you over to talk. You need to set the boundary now, what could go wrong? (1.6k+)
a/n: i tried to write a lil more than usual bc i feel bad about inconsistent posting. (shoutout no personal life bc work/school) hopefully with winter break i can post a couple times a week. also trying to figure out how to make a taglist so if you want to be notified of new chapters, lmk!! If you have any suggestions, give em to a girl. i love to see/hear feedback :) <3
Yet again, you’re avoiding Joel like the plague. You have an unknown amount of missed calls from him. You also have conferences today. This means you have to see him, and you feel like you could throw up. He’s your last one at 5:30 p.m. The day goes by slowly, and you have lunch duty so you don’t have time to finish planning your conference notes. After lunch is the worst part of the day. Kids are tired and barely give a shit, but you have a couple good ones that you try to focus on. Sarah being one of them. The 2:30 bell rings and by 2:40 your class is empty. Conferences start at 3:30 so you finish your notes and try to eat your lunch but that sinking feeling is still there.
By 5:15, you’ve talked to so many parents that they’re all starting to blur. You’re exhausted and would rather be quite literally anywhere else by now. You gather Sarah's notes and sit them on the table, one stack in front of you and a copy of your stack in front of where Joel will sit. Sarah really enjoys a select few books from your classroom library so you sit them on her desk for her in case she's with Joel.
Before you see him, you smell him. The air in your classroom fills with hints of cedarwood and lavender. You look up and Sarah is already at her desk looking at the books. You stand to greet Joel. “Good Evening Mr. Miller” you reach to shake his hand but he doesn't move, he is staring right through you. “Sweet girl, you don't have to call me that.” He says, still staring. You smile and invite him to sit. “So” you start “Sarah is doing phenomenal, she loves to read and write, and is always very engaged. I pulled a few samples of her writings from the last couple weeks so you could read them. They’re the first sheets inside your fold-” “Babygirl” he says gruffly “I know my daughter, and she has excelled and exceeded every year. I'm here for you. Why have you been avoiding me?” You look at him, wide eyed. Half wanting to laugh and half wanting to cry. Your door is open and anyone could walk by and hear him, Sarah could hear him. “Joel I promise I'm not trying to avoid you” you say quietly, lying straight through your teeth. And he knows it. You stand up and walk to close the door and can feel his eyes burning through you. “I just dont think-” “I've called you more times than I can count, and you aint returned a single one. Shit baby, your bra is still on my bedroom floor. Taunting me every night.” You can feel the warmth begin to rise on your face, and between your legs. “Mr.Miller, now is not the time or the place for this conversation. If we could please get back to Sarah.” He looks at you, deadpan. “Alright, come to my house tomorrow night at 8. Sarah will be with her mom for the weekend.” Internally, you groan. Externally, “Yes sir”. You watch him stir in his chair at your words, repositioning himself.
The rest of the conference goes well, Sarah reads some of her writings to her dad, and shows him her favorite books. He asks her so many questions about her work and she is extremely detailed in every answer. He seems like a great dad, and it puts him in a different light for you. Now he isn't only hot, and great at sex, and great at aftercare, but he's a good dad. You are so fucked.
Friday comes and goes, yet again you're exhausted. You take a steaming shower when you get home. Shaving your legs, just because. NOT for Joel. Once out of the shower, you change into a pair of blue biker shorts and an oversized Texans crewneck. You throw your hair up in a bun and make yourself some coffee. Hoping the coffee will help combat the sleepiness, you throw yourself onto the couch and turn on some Grey's Anatomy reruns, and begin to drift into a nap. You try to fight it, but it's inevitable.
You wake up to your phone ringing. You check the time. 8:17. “Shit” you grumble. You flip your phone open without even checking the caller ID. “Hello?” you say, groggily. “There's my sweet girl.” He says, pausing briefly. “You’re late. Better get here fast, dinners gonna be cold.” And before you can get a word out, Joel hangs up. “Fuck fuck FUCK.” You say, frustratedly. This has gone too far, and god forbid your work gets wind of this disaster. You’d be screwed. You throw your shoes on and walk next door.
Joel opens the door right as you walk up the steps. The smells instantly take you back to that morning. You still remember how he felt inside you, how his lips felt on yours, how his hand fit around your neck so perfectly how- “You gonna come in or you just gon’ stand there?” Joel snaps you out of your trance. You follow him the rest of the way in, kicking your shoes off at the door this time. “I made spaghetti with garlic bread. Stuck it in the oven to stay warm since you tried to stand me up.” He says, grinning. “Joel look” you start, “I really appreciate this, and I really had a” “Sit down and eat. We can talk after.” He says, pulling a chair out. He walks around to the fridge, opening the door. You can't stop staring at him. His shoulders so broad, and biceps borderline busting out of his shirt. You’re in a trance. “Red or white?” he says, but you don't hear him. You’re too busy eye fucking him, completely forgetting that the only reason you’re here is to end this before it starts. He turns around and sees you still looking straight through him, undressing him with your eyes. He grins a devilish grin and you snap back to reality. “Huh? Sorry I was-” “No need to explain, I asked if you wanted red or white wine?” he says, grinning “Oh.. ummm.. White please!” He sits the glass next to you, along with your plate of food.
Dinner goes well, you talk about Sarah and how great of a student she is. You realize Joel could go on and on about her, because he does. Before you know it, its 10:00 and you're fighting sleep again. But this conversation needs to happen. You gather the plates and wine glasses and begin doing the dishes. “Darlin’ don't worry about those. I can do them in the morning.” “Joel, we need to talk.” You say, hoping it doesn't come off too harsh. You turn the sink off and dry your hands. “Joel, I had a lot of fun a few weeks ago. But I don’t think-” he cuts you off. “Why’re you thinkin’ baby? Thinkin’ don’t never lead to nothin’ good.” He says, wrapping his hands around your waist. As much as you don’t want to, you lean into his grip. “Joel, please.” you almost moan. “I don’t want to get in trouble at work, it's a huge ethical misconduct if the school were to ever find out, especially since Sarah is in my class.” He’s kissing up your neck, and you aren't doing anything to stop him. “I just want to taste you, just one more time.” He groans into your ear, nibbling on the tip. “This has to be the last time.” you think to yourself.
You don't fight it, you give in. And you enjoy every second of it. Joel picks you up and lays you on the table. The same table you just had dinner on. Your shorts are thrown across the room and your sweatshirt is being used as back support. He’s devouring every inch of your body. Leaving bite marks in unseen places. You hear his belt hit the floor and watch his shirt peel off of his body. You moan at the sight. He lines himself up with your aching cunt. “What was all that earlier about you gettin’ in trouble at work?” he says, comically. “Joel, please not-” and before you can squeak the rest of your sentence out, he's ramming his cock inside you. Over and over. “What's wrong baby? Can’t speak?” he says, laughing. Hes fucking you so hard that the goddamn table is moving. “I need something more stable.” He grunts, picking you up and throwing you on the island, his cock never leaving inside of you. He rubs vigorous circles around your clit, watching your eyes roll into the back of your head. “Dont. Stop. Joel.” You manage to say in between breaths. “I don’t ever plan to babygirl.” He says, rubbing faster. Your release is on the horizon. Everythings gone white and all you can focus on is the sound of skin slapping skin. Your back arches and you scream with pleasure. “Let it out babygirl, cum for me.” Just as you begin to come down, you feel Joel's cock tense up inside you, and he falls to your ear, moaning. He pulls out and you moan gutteraly. You feel the warmth of his seed dripping Yet again, he disappears and reappears with a warm washcloth. Cleaning and kissing every inch of your body.
You get cleaned up and dressed. Joel puts on a pair of sweatpants, no shirt. You could go for round 2 but 2 times is 2 too many. You begin to put your shoes on. “Darlin’, why don't you stay the night?” You instantly get nauseous, and feel tears? Maybe? You barely know this guy, what the fuck? “Joel, I told you. This cannot happen. Not again.” You say, trembling. “We can-” You cut him off. “No more Joel.” and you open the door and walk out. Leaving him just as quickly as you found him.
Masterlist - Chapter 4
#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller fic#last of us#neighbor joel x reader#neighbor joel#cliffhanger#joel miller smut#pedro pascal#joel miller x you#the last of us#neighbor!joel#joel x reader#daddy joel#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x f!reader#my writing#tlou#joel tlou
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stay outta trouble, yeah?
tangerine x southern!reader, 3.7k words summary: he's taken by their southern accent, much like they're taken by his british one. color him intrigued, because why not? he'll be getting them to safety as soon as he can get away from the fight--or rather, telling them to get to safety. a/n: before you read the rest... there are a few lines i took from the movie to keep part of the plot alive. and then it goes haywire... anyway. listen i was just thinking about how incredible it would be to talk to tangerine and not actually hide my personal accent. here you go, pookies. (i'm from west virginia if that helps you). i've also never been farther than türkiye, so my knowledge of what it's like to travel to japan is very limited. pardon my inaccuracies even though i only talk about it for like... .2 seconds, at most. tw: major canon divergence, talks of blood, wounds, cursing, etc.
It'd been a long few days in Tokyo. Traveling for your own enjoyment was always an incredible thing, but good lord, was it exhausting.
The flight, which was non-stop from the Washington Dulles Airport, thank goodness, was nearly sixteen hours. No connecting flights, no dealing with confusing and unfamiliar airports. But just the flight itself was enough to send your sleeping pattern to all kinds of craziness. Don't even mention the fact that you had to drive to the airport, which took several hours just to get there...
Wasn't the first time, and certainly wouldn't be the last.
Travel was a luxury so many never had the opportunity to experience. When you had the chance to go to Japan, you took it. It was practically a dream vacation, despite how exhausting it truly was.
You'd come back to Tokyo after a few days in Nagoya, the second to last stop on this bullet train, maybe a quick day trip to Kyoto after, but time was of the essence. You may not have planned every little detail for this trip of a lifetime, but you had a good idea as to what you were going to do.
The bullet train would be at your stop in nearly two hours. That was plenty of time to take a nap and probably figure out what you'll do in Nagoya after finding your planned accommodations.
You found a seat in the "quiet" car, almost giddy to know that there was a car specifically for that. Being from the southern United States, the only actual train you could recall was the Amtrak Trains, but even then, you didn't know as much as you could have about them.
You kept your backpack close to you, trying to find your earbuds so you could have them before you actually sit down.
As you walked, absentmindedly, of course, you bump into a rather tall and, might I add, breathtaking man with one of those 80s' mustaches—like the guy from that one season of American Horror Story. It rather suited him, but that's not what you were thinking as the words quickly spilled from your mouth:
"I'm so sorry," you said, southern drawl instantaneous. "Wasn't watching where I was goin'."
The man looked down at you, blue eyes curiously catching yours. He smiled, and you could feel your heart melt within you. Or maybe your lungs. It seemed hard to breathe for a moment.
"No worries, love," he said, a very British accent joining his words. He scrunched his nose a bit and moved out of your way, while the man behind him muttered something under his breath. "No harm done."
You return his smile, although hesitantly. God, was he gorgeous. But that was beside the point. You moved around him, knowing you probably looked like a mess—you had only spent two nights in Tokyo, and they weren't very restful. Skincare could only do so much to make you look awake and not like you've risen from the dead just hours prior.
You choose a seat nearby where the British man and his two friends were sitting, putting your backpack on the table just in front of you. You grabbed your phone from your pocket, making sure you still had your charger in the pack, before you set up your earbuds and your music.
Your eyes flickered over to the British man, not saying anything as you opened your preferred playlist. He briefly glanced back at you and sent a rather cheeky smile before he looked back to the man in front of him.
"Fuckin' hell, mate," Lemon said as he looked at his brother. The man had made him move just so he could have an eye on the American who bumped into him. "Go and talk to ‘em, yeah? Leave me out of it."
Tangerine rolled his eyes. "Fuck off," he said. "We gotta job, yeah? Speakin' of." He stopped and looked towards the White Death's son, blinking slowly for a moment. "You gonna tell us much else or are you keepin' us in the dark?"
The Son mumbled something under his breath, tiredly looking out the window. He didn't know why he was here, other than the two brothers saying they were hired by his dad to get him to safety.
Right. Safety. What a joke.
"Right, so," Tangerine began. "Our job is to keep you safe and to recover the briefcase with the ransom money inside. And I plan on completin' my job and keeping..."
Tangerine looked at his brother, narrowing his eyes. "Lemon."
Lemon looked up at him. "Hmm?"
"Where's the briefcase?"
"Oh, I stashed it."
Tangerine stared at him in admonishment for a bit longer than necessary. "The case, Lemon. Go get me the fucking case."
"We got his son. That was our job."
"Our job was to come back with his son and his 10 million." Tangerine groaned softly and looked out of the window, sucking in a breath. "Three words describe our situation right now. Do you know what they are?"
"Sure do," said Lemon. He held up a hand and counted them off as he spoke: "Saved his son."
"Motherfucker," Tangerine blurted. He went on his spiel about the White Death, which seemed to be quite imperative as Lemon hadn't read the email he forwarded to him. Of course he hadn't—when did he ever? Why did he bother?
"He asked for pros who wouldn't fuck up," Tangerine said. "Three words, Lemon. We are..."
"Fucked." They say the words together, and if it had been another time, perhaps just hours prior, it would have been fun. Not this time. No, this time, they knew they were in deep shit.
They needed to get that suitcase and quick.
They returned to the Son only for him to be... well, let's put it frankly, bleeding from his eye-sockets and mouth, and so very dead.
"Well, shit," Tangerine sucked in a breath as he looked at the boy who had called him a liability only moments earlier.
The two trained assassins set to work on making it look like he was merely sleeping, even going as far as giving him Momonga glasses. You never know.
Tangerine looked at Lemon, frowning deeply. "We need t' find that briefcase," he said.
"Right," Lemon returned, staring at the Son for a moment before he looked up at Tangerine, nodding. "Right. Phone's on me. See if that American you ran into saw anything. Never know, yeah?"
Tangerine narrowed his eyes and glanced over his shoulder, seeing the object of his curiosity. "Hm. Go, Lemon. You see the case, deal with whoever has it."
"All right, how do I do that? Talk to him, or, like, talk to him?"
"I don't know, why don't you tell him about the story about how Gordon met Percy and how Percy's now bleeding from his fucking eye sockets!"
Lemon scoffed and left his side, going down the opposite side of the train.
"He means kill him. Of course he does."
Tangerine took one last look to the boy before he made his way to you, just a few seats down. He saw that you were asleep—surely, if you had been awake, you would've said something, right? Right. He's assuming, anyway. He keeps walking, knowing that he's got to find this briefcase and fast or else he and Lemon may not get a chance to even think about which arm they'd rather have cut off.
About twenty minutes into your restless nap, there's a loud noise blaring in your earbuds, and you jolt awake, grabbing onto your phone. You paused it, heart pounding in your chest.
"Damn," you cursed, knowing it was only from the song and nothing more. This song was notorious for loud noises. You take out your earbuds, a soft groan escaping you. Might as well stretch your legs and use the restroom since you're awake. It didn't seem like sleep was going to come easy on this train.
A voice came over the intercom, saying something about stopping momentarily, but you didn't catch the name of the station.
You stood and stretched, looking towards where the British man had been. He's not there, and neither is his one friend, but the other is there, sleeping. He's got the strangest glasses on, but you say nothing of it.
"Bathroom," you mutter under your breath, looking over your shoulder. You see a sign and follow it, taking your phone with you just in case.
You're quick, doing your business and washing your hands all under two minutes. Must be a record—the airplane bathrooms are so much more different than this.
You go to leave and open the door, and once again, you're not paying attention. You nearly bump into the tall, handsome British man, but this time, he is paying attention.
He grabbed you by the shoulders, a soft huff escaping him. "Watch yourself, love," he said, a playful smile on his lips (like he's not currently in one of the most stressful situations he's ever been in). "You're gonna get yourself hurt, now, aren't ya?"
Wide eyed, you looked up at him. "Shit, I'm sorry," you said. "It's—hell, I can't even give you a good excuse, but I didn't mean to."
"Nah, you're alright, love, just watch yourself for me, yeah?"
He let go of your shoulders, and you almost find yourself missing the touch.
"Go back to your seat, yeah? Keep an eye out for anyone weird for me."
You blinked slowly but nodded anyway. "Yeah, sure," you said. "You—"
But before you can continue, he sees something in the corner of his eye—either that or he hears something. You're not really sure. He flashes you a soft smile before he walked past you, clearly on a mission.
You let out a soft sigh and walk back to your seat, sitting down quietly.
As you get there, the British man's friend is back, and with another man—you don't catch their conversation, but whatever it is is rather heated. You simply put your earbuds back in and let your head fall back, unable to stop your eyes from fluttering shut. There's a few noises, but the sleep is far too good to come out of. At least, for now it is.
At some point, you feel someone shaking you awake. You quickly open your eyes, seeing the British man sitting across from you. He's got a few cuts on his face—not something he had before. You sat up and check your phone, eyebrows furrowed.
"What are you—"
You'd only been asleep for another twenty minutes.
"You're cute, love," he said, grabbing your phone from you.
"Hey—"
He held up a finger to you and quickly typed in a text message to his own phone. When he heard the buzz, he handed your phone back to you.
"Where's your stop, hm?"
"Nagoya," you answered. "Why?"
"Get off sooner, yeah?"
"What?"
He gave you a cheeky smile. "Get off sooner, love," he said. "Conductor must've missed you cuz you were sleepin', but he was sayin' that everyone needs to get off before Nagoya. Somethin' about the train needed worked on."
You blinked slowly. Were you still sleeping? You felt like you were. "Why the hell would they do that for? That don't even make sense—"
"Love, do it," he said, staring you down with those pretty blue eyes. "Get off on the next stop, yeah? I'll even give you the money for another ticket or somethin' if you need it."
You shook your head. "I can get another ticket, I just—"
There was something about the man that screamed danger, but no where did it scream liar. At least if he was a liar, maybe it was for good reason. Your gut feeling had been pretty good in the past, warning you against several things that could've gone terribly. Perhaps this was the Universe screaming at you to listen to it.
"Okay. I got the money. I'll just... I'll get off at the next stop."
He smiled softly at you. "Good. I'll be seein' you then, yeah? Keep yourself outta trouble."
He stood up, giving you a soft wink, before he left you in the quiet car.
You didn't see him again for the rest of the train ride, but you did listen to him. You got off at the next train stop and bought a new ticket, wondering if the cuts on his face had anything to do with his request.
It was a pretty nice warning, as crazy as that shit was.
Waiting for the next train, which would be there only momentarily, you pull out your phone. The only thing he had typed to his number was simple: Tangerine.
Was that codename for something? The fuck did fruit have to do with anything?
Nagoya, Japan.
A beautiful city with equally beautiful architecture (you'd be sure to visit the castle and the shrine after you finished exploring the city on your own terms).
You hadn't gotten a text from the handsome British man, but it didn't really bother you much. You didn't know him—just nearly ran into him a handful of times before he told you to get off the train.
Two days after the train ride to Nagoya, you find yourself on the streets, following your phone's GPS as best as you could to get to the castle. You should have just waved down a taxi cab, but you also wanted to experience the walk. That, in itself, was just as important as the journey over. Besides, your phone said only five minutes, but it seemed like it was re-routing and doing the exact opposite of being an accurate GPS.
You curse under your breath and go to type in another address in an attempt to see if it was just the castle address that was making your GPS wonky when you heard a familiar voice—you felt a familiar hand grab onto your shoulder.
"Be careful, love," the British man said, keeping you in your spot. You looked up—you're not even about to walk into anything, this time. You looked back at him, eyebrows furrowed.
"Oh, hell," you blurted, wide eyed. "What the hell happened to you? Are you—" You pause, mouth gaped open as you look on in surprise. His friend, and that one long haired blonde guy, stand nearby. The one leaned up against the wall of a supermarket, while the other runs a hand through his blonde locks.
You looked up at him, lips parted. "Is that why you told me to get off the train?"
He gave you a pained smile. "Smart, love," he said.
There's a few people that pass by, mumbling about the sight of the rather bloodied and injured men.
"Shit," you said. "You—did you just come to Nagoya in hopes I'd still be here? What if I had been in Kyoto?"
"Guess some luck's on my side, then," he said.
"My—hell, come on, I've got a hotel room," you said. "You lot look like you've been to hell and back."
"Somethin' like that," the British man said.
"Shit," you mumbled once more, putting your hotel name back into your GPS. You had just come from there, but just in case, you didn't want to mess anything up. Especially not now. "Shit, dude, I don't even know your name—"
"Tangerine," he interrupted.
You blinked slowly as you began to walk. His friends follow behind.
"Like the fruit?" you question.
His friend snorted from behind the two of you. "Yeah, love, like the fruit."
You shrugged. "Codename?"
"Smart," Tangerine repeated, giving you a cheeky smile.
For someone who looked like he was in an immense amount of pain, he was sure cheerful.
You led them up to your hotel room, where the blonde immediately goes to the bathroom, running water in the sink and using it and a towel to try and clean some of the blood from his face.
Tangerine and the other, whom you now know as Lemon, sit on separate sides of the room—Lemon sits at the table and groans at the action, a hand on his side, while Tangerine sits on the edge of the bed.
There goes your plans to see the Nagoya Castle, but hell, this didn't seem like it would be anything you'd wanna miss out on. How often do you get three men in your hotel room like this?
Ah, fuck, scratch that—how often do you get a hot British man looking at you like that regardless of how beat up he currently looked?
You bit your lip and sit your phone on the dresser. "I, uh, my friend gave me a little kit of medicine and things before I left," you said, going to your open suitcase and pulling out a black bag. "Has like, bandaids and ibuprofen. Tums, maybe. I didn't even look to be honest."
You hand the bag to him.
Tangerine snorted softly, taking the bag from you and opening it up. You watch, seeing the scabs on his knuckles.
"Damn, what the hell happened to y'all?"
Tangerine glanced up at you, a small smile quirking on his lips. "All in due time," he said. "Don't think it's anything I wanna drag you into just yet."
You pursed your lips.
"Fuck," Tangerine mumbled. "This whole thing has been fuckin' bullocks," he said as he pulled out a couple of things from the kit.
"You can say that again," Lemon said, scoffing softly.
Tangerine tossed him a bottle of pain killers before he, himself, picked up a small bottle of antiseptic. "Be a doll and grab me a washcloth, yeah?"
You do as you're asked, moving past the blonde in the bathroom. He looked a bit worse for wear, but he seemed like he was doing far better than the other two.
You brought back the washcloth for Tangerine. "Can I help?"
"Nah, love, I'll be fine. Not the first time."
You grimaced. "Sounds painful."
"C'est la vie," Lemon said from where he sat, taking the unopened complementary water from the table and using it to take the pain killers. "You're a life saver, love."
"Hmm," you hummed, frowning softly as you looked at Tangerine.
He glanced up at you as he cleaned his knuckles. He had plenty of other places to clean, of course, but the idea of moving from his spot on the bed sounded like hell. His abdomen was screaming at him for just breathing.
"I never got your name," Tangerine softly said.
"Yeah," Lemon interjected. "Been callin' you his little American this whole time. Don't let him lie to you."
Tangerine blanched, glaring over at Lemon, before he looked up at you. "Maybe," he said. "Don't listen to him. He's a little shit-stirrer."
You smiled a bit. He's endearing if not... unconventional in his methods. Whatever that meant. You'd learn soon enough, it seemed.
You gave him your name.
He repeated it, and it was almost like heaven pouring from his lips as he spoke.
God, you'd have a hell of a time trying to explain this back home.
Tangerine snorted softly and finished cleaning up his knuckles—just on the one hand, though. He still had so much to get through.
"Must've made quite an impression if you come to Nagoya just to find me," you blurted, taking the bottle of antiseptic and the cloth from him. He didn't protest. He simply watched as you wet the other side of the cloth and took his hand in your own to clean his knuckles.
"Yeah, well, what can I say? The accent got me."
You blinked slowly, eyes flickering to his. "The accent?"
"Oh, yeah, love," he said. "Ladybug in there is an American, but you? It's like a whole other breed of American. I don't know if I can get enough of it."
Lemon scoffed and tossed the bottle of painkillers to his brother. "Stop flirting and let them clean your hand."
Tangerine rolled his eyes, watching your hands as they moved against his wounds.
"Sorry," you mumbled.
"Sorry? For what?"
"For not having anything to really help you," you said. "I'm sure it woulda helped if I had a first aid kit or somethin'."
He raised an eyebrow. "Think you would've been insane for havin' a first aid kit when you're traveling all alone," he said. "Who woulda thought you'd run into little ol' me?"
"Little ol' you, hm?"
Tangerine's soft smile is unmistakable, but you make no mention of it. You let go of his hand and he examined it, letting out a soft hum. You did well enough, he supposed.
Tangerine let out a soft groan as a pain rippled through his abdomen. He laid back on the bed without another word, a hand resting on his body. This would be a hell of a pain to heal, but he was sure it would happen soon enough.
"Sorry for barging in on you like that, love," Lemon spoke up. He drew your attention away from Tangerine. "Tangerine over there kept quippin' on and on 'bout how he just had to see you again. Thought he was a broken record or some shit with how often he said it."
The handsome man in front of you didn't even object this time. He just went with it.
"Right, yeah, and what were you sayin'? Hope they have a nice hotel room that fits all us, yeah?"
"Absolutely not," he scoffed. "Don't be a prick."
Tangerine rolled his eyes. "Lemon—"
"—anyway," Lemon interjected. "We'll be out of your hair as soon as we possibly can. Don't want to outstay our welcome, and I'm sure you've got plans, hm?"
"Well, yeah, but—"
"—we won't stay long, promise."
"No, I—I mean I do have plans, but you can stay as long as you need to."
Tangerine snorted softly and glanced at you from where he laid on his bed. "You're rather trusting, aren't you?"
You blinked slowly. "Well—"
"—be careful, love," he said, a playful glint in his eyes. "You should really watch yourself, before you get yourself into trouble."
You parted your lips, and the words escaped you before you even thought to stop them: "Think I'm a bit too late for all that."
#tangerine#tangerine x reader#tangerine bullet train#gn!reader#reader insert#x reader#fanfic#aaron taylor johnson#aarontaylorjohnson#tangerine bullet train x reader#bullet train#bullet train 2022#bullet train tangerine#bullet train movie#southern!reader
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【strings of my heart】
------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚pairing: han jisung x reader ⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖summary: your boyfriend and his guitar mesmerizingly capture your heart, yet again. ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚warnings/genre: fluff. that's literally it. its very cheesy though i warn you. ⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖notes: ive been working on this one for a bit and like omg guys wait i actually like this one.. improvement??? i hope u guys like it, english isnt my first language so there might be some grammar issues,, anw enjoy!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the late afternoon sun filtered softly through the windows of jisung's room, casting a warm glow across the scattered sheets of lyrics and music notes. you were sitting cross-legged on the floor, your back leaning against his desk, watching him intently as he adjusted the strings on his guitar.
it wasn't the first time you had watched him with that guitar, but each time felt like a new experience. there was something so captivating about the way he handled it, the way his fingers moved so effortlessly over the strings, each note he played creating its own world.
"you know, you're like a rockstar when you play" "a rockstar, huh? you really think so?" "definitely."
he laughed, but there was a flicker of genuine pride in his eyes as he strummed a few chords. "i don't know about that", he said, "but i've been working on something new. wanna hear it?"
"of course! 'm all ears."
jisung's eyes sparkled as he fixed his posture, the guitar resting comfortably on his lap. he gave you a quick glance, and then he started playing, his fingers dancing across the fretboard with practiced ease. the melody was light at first, almost like a gentle breeze, but then it deepened, the rhythm picking up as if telling a story of its own.
it was mesmerizing. the way his fingers moved, the way his focus was entirely on the guitar, but still somehow aware of you watching. it felt like a private concert, just for you.
the music flowed through the room, and with every strum, you couldn't help but smile. it wasn't just the melody that was beautiful, but the way he made it sound so effortless.
"what do you think?"
"i think you're amazing, even if i do tell you that, like, every day", you said honestly, your heart fluttering a little. "that was perfect."
jisung chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "baby... you're making me blush."
"good. you deserve to blush", you teased, moving over to sit next to him on the bed. "but seriously, how do you make it look so easy? i’ve seen you play this guitar a million times, and it always sounds so good."
he shrugged, his lips curving into a soft smile. "it's all about feeling the music. when you're really in the moment, everything just falls into place."
you watched as he gently caressed the strings of the guitar, his fingers moving with a kind of reverence. there was something magnetic about his passion. it wasn't just the guitar or the music, but the way he could lose himself in it.
"i've been working on another song for a while now", he said, his voice suddenly quieter, almost hesitant. "i haven't shared it with anyone yet. maybe… i could play it for you?"
you could hear the uncertainty in his voice, and it made your heart warm. "i'd love to hear it, baby. i’m sure it's incredible."
he smiled, but it was a little shy, before he started playing again. this time, the melody was slower, more soulful. it was deep, full of emotion. like each note was carefully chosen, each chord a reflection of something personal. it was the kind of song that made you feel something in your chest, even if you couldn’t quite put it into words.
when he finished, you could tell he was waiting for your reaction, the air between you thick with anticipation.
"that was beautiful", you said softly, your voice almost a whisper. "you really put your everything into that song, didn't you?"
jisung nodded, a slight blush coloring his cheeks. "i guess i did. it's.. kind of personal. i wasn't sure if anyone would understand it."
you reached out, gently placing your hand over his. "i understand it, jisung. its exactly what makes you, you. and i'm so lucky to get to hear it."
he looked down at your hand, and for a moment, neither of you spoke. then, he let out a soft laugh, as if he was finally letting out a breath he'd been holding in for a while.
"you're the best" he said, looking up at you with that sincere, slightly bashful smile. "i'm glad you like it.", "you know, i think i've officially fallen for this guitar… and its owner. yet again."
jisung raised an eyebrow playfully, his grin widening. "oh? you’re saying it's not just me you’re in love with?"
you smirked back. "i'm still deciding… but you've got some stiff competition" you teased.
he laughed, his eyes shining with amusement. "guess i'll have to win you over again."
"good luck", you said, giving him a wink. "but i think you're already halfway there."
jisung chuckled softly, setting the guitar down on the bed. he turned to face you, his gaze softening. "well, it looks like i've got my work cut out for me. but i'm not giving up anytime soon."
and just like that, with the sweet sound of his music still lingering in the air, you knew one thing for sure. there was no one else you'd rather spend this moment with than han jisung. the guy, the musician, the heartthrob who’d already played his way into your heart. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ a/n: im actually proud of this one!! i used a little bit different formatting than my other fics but i like how this turned out
#bibi writes#skz#skz x reader#skz fluff#skz x you#skz x y/n#stray kids#stray kids x reader#stray kids fluff#stray kids x you#stray kids x y/n#skz fanfic#skz fanfiction#stray kids fanfic#stray kids fanfiction#han jisung#han#skz jisung#jisung x reader#han jisung x reader#han jisung fluff#han x reader#han fluff#han x you#han jisung x you#han jisung x y/n#han x y/n
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- EACHOTHERS
PRESENCE -
a billie eilish fanfic
SMUT!!!
warnings?: thigh riding, smut, fluff at the end
i've been out working all day and all i wanna do is get home and sleep next to my girlfriend, Billie. it's 8:50 and i worked a little later than usual cause i had to pick up another shift for my coworker. i get into my car and drive home while playing LUNCH by my beautiful talented gf. i step out the car and lock it, i soonly unlock the front door. i soon hear footsteps coming down the stairs
"hi mama" she says kissing my forehead than my lips
i speak up "hey i missed you today"
"i missed you more sweetheart" she says kissing me in for a deeper passionate kiss.
things eventually get heated, next thing i know were on our queen size bed. my legs are wrapped around her waist while she's on top of me. we makeout for a good minute until i feel her ring covered hands graze my thigh. it makes me gasp due to the coldness of her rings and the heat off my body. she chuckles at my expression. all my clothes end up on the floor and she's still in her outfit. i straddle her lap and start grinding back and forth and at normal speed. i let out a pornography moan. "just like that mama" i hear her smooth, soothing voice say. she grabs my waist guiding me to go faster. i do as she wants. i start grinding her thigh at a rapid speed, im close to my release. i can feel the knot in my stomach about to explode due to all the pleasure im feeling at this moment. i release all over her black shorts. i let out a big sigh of tiredness. "are u okay" i hear her say. i nod. she ends up carrying me to the bathroom as she places me on the cold counter. i look over and see her turning on the bath water. we sit in comfortable silence for a couple minutes. i get off the counter and step into the warm bath. she goes to walk back into the bedroom until i grab her wrist lightly
"can u join me please" i say softly.
she smiles and nods. she strips and sits behind me and i sit in between her legs. she starts playing with my hair and we take in each others presence.
a/n: idk if i like this chatttt!!! please let me know if u guys like this. and my request box is open incase anyone wants to request anything.
- xoxo teetee 💓💓
#Spotify#billie eilish#billie eilish blurb#billie eilish fic#billie eilish gf#billie eilish imagine#billie eilish oneshot#billie eilish x fem!reader#billie eilish x y/n#billie eilish x you
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I've got a story to accompany this image. You can read it below. It is not a cute romantic story; it is more like my images. So, if that is not your thing, skip the story. If you do, let me know what you think of it.
Wrong Side of the Tracks
I had been in the bar for an hour already. It was one of those places off the beaten track where everyone went from what some would call the wrong side of the tracks. Mind you, this place wasn’t rundown. It just wasn’t fancy. The long wooden bar was polished, and the stools were worn but comfortable. Booths lined the wall opposite the bar. In the back of the bar were some big couches and chairs in an open area. Every seating surface was made of that old-school leather that got patina but never grew thin, never ripped. It was all cushioned just right for sitting and drinking the night away. Behind the bar was bottle after bottle of every liquor you could think of. Cases full of bottles of beer and more than a few on tap. However, don’t come in asking for some fancy new-fangled Microbrew bullshit. This wasn’t that kind of place.
Most people who came here were working-class people who came in for drinks and bar food. People who worked with their hands or on their feet all day. You had some white-collar folks sprinkled in, but mostly people who grew up in the neighborhood who managed to get a job downtown but still came back to visit friends and family in the area. That’s not to say it also didn’t have more seedier visitors. It was also a place where locals on the "wrong" side of the law congregated. Depending on the day of the week and the time, there was little you couldn’t find here if you knew the right person to ask.
You need a loan. There was a table in the back where some gentlemen of Italian persuasion sat most days. They were happy to give you some money for a hefty fee. If you needed something to bring you up or down, there was usually someone you could talk to to provide you with whatever you needed. But they couldn’t sell it in the bar. Business of that sort was not allowed in the bar; discussing it was different. If you needed someone’s leg broken, there was someone who you could talk to about that.
The bar was situated behind several warehouses and buildings in an old light industrial part of the city. You had to know where it was to find it and drive a maze of access roads and streets to find it. The bar had an address but didn’t appear on Waze or Google Maps. The lot was big enough for everything from Harleys to big rigs. The lot is dim, with most of the light coming from other businesses outside its perimeter.
I was on my 3rd beer when I heard the Harley outside. It was cold in the Midwest in November, but the hardcore bikers rode in the cold air. I was sitting midway down the bar when the door opened, and the crowd started parting. People quickly moved aside, even to the point where they pressed against others to get out of the way of the approaching figure. I got a glimpse of him just as he passed. I thought, “Jesus, he's gotten even bigger!” He walked past, and you could feel his aura move with him. Predator. It was the only way to describe it. Some construction workers were drinking a few feet down, and one of the bigger guys either didn’t see him coming or had decided he was the alpha in the room. The biker didn’t change his step; his massive shoulders plowed through the big construction worker, pushing him into his buddies and spilling his beer down his shirt.
“Hey FUCK WAD, watch where you’re going!” The big construction worker said. He was big, about 6’5, and easily 280-290 solid pounds. You can tell he was used to being the big guy in the room. The area around them quieted as the biker turned around and took two steps back. I got a good look at him then. He was about 6’2, so shorter than the construction worker. However, everything else about the biker made the construction worker seem small. He had actual doorway-wide shoulders. Arms are truly as thick as a healthy man's leg. Massive pecs encased under the leather vest. His lats push his massive arms away from his body at a freaking 45-degree angle. A neck so massive that it seemed like his huge shoulders just met his head somehow. The part of my brain that was pretty damn good at calculating a man's size and weight told me at least 375 actual pounds.
One of the construction workers whispered “shit” as he pulled on his friend's arm. The bigger construction worker was wiping beer from his shirt and shook his friend's arm off as he looked up. Both men’s eyes met, and something happened. Guys know the feeling when you are in a situation where you quickly find out that you are not the alpha in the room. The biker took another step forward and pushed his chest into that of the construction worker. The biker tilted his head to that angle some guys do when trying to figure out how badly they will hurt someone. Not if, but how much. Everything around them quieted and stopped.
I could only see part of the construction workers' faces, but I could see the anger drain quickly away to be replaced by fear. The Biker saw it and stepped into him more, pushing him back on his friends. Something like a wave of heat seemed to pass over me, and I could feel the raw dominance coming off that biker. It was like being on the edge of a violent storm. You can feel the air pressure change and smell the lightning as it crashes just feet away. Or it is like being on the edge of a vast forest fire, watching a fire tornado spin feet away and your skin both dry and slick with sweat simultaneously.
I felt my balls shrink up and throb at the same time. “Sorry. Sorry.. man, I’m sorry,” the Big Construction worker was saying. No longer meeting the biker’s gaze, he said, “Sorry I bumped into ya. My fault. Sorry, sorry.” The Biker stayed crowded in his space for another 15 seconds, stepped back, and looked at the construction workers' buddies, who all looked away. He turned to walk to the back of the bar to the area where the couches and chairs were. There was a dangerous and knowing smirk on his face.
Within seconds, the bar's sounds returned to normal, and people moved on as if nothing had happened—except for the construction workers. Those guys threw money on the bar, paid their tab, and quickly left.
However, I was now intrigued—no, make that obsessed—with the monster in the back of the bar. Over the next hour, I made my way down the bar toward the back of the room. I could see he was sitting with several other bikers and rough-looking men. I couldn’t hear what they were discussing but could see them on the sly. He filled one of the club chairs, his mass covering it completely. He wore this leather vest, black jeans, and big black harness boots. Out of the group, he talked the least.
A couple in the booth was just on the edge of the sitting area, which had a perfect view. They left when I almost convinced myself that my little spy game had gone as far as it should. Before they could get two steps away from the booth, I slid into it. The waitress came over, and I got another beer. I took out my phone and pretended to be scrolling on it while I was sneaking peaks at the monster. My cock was so hard in my pants that I had to squirm around a bit to give it room. Knowing I might never see this guy again, I discreetly turned on my camera and videoed him. I kept making gestures like I was scrolling and typing, but I was filming his every twitch and flex.
I ended up drinking another two beers while getting more and more footage. The angle I had the camera meant I really couldn’t see my screen. I might have noticed when he started looking at me if I had. Only when I looked up to sneak another peek I saw two pools of steel looking at me. Eyes so bright and grey that they seemed to glow, and they were looking at me. Not glancing but staring at me. I could feel the weight of his attention. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck” was all I could think. As nonchalantly as possible, I slowly angled my phone away, and while pretending to be texting, I shut off the camera. It was time to go. I couldn’t dare look up at him to see if he was still looking, but I knew. I could feel it—the heat and pressure of his attention.
I had two problems. My cock was still rock hard, and I needed to piss badly. So badly, I thought that if I tried to make it to my car, I would piss myself. SHIT. I took out my wallet and threw 50 bucks and an OK tip on the table. Every second felt like my bladder was going to burst. SHIIIT. Taking a deep breath, I causually stood up with my hand in my pocket, trying to hold my boner down, and started walking across the bar to the hallway with the bathrooms. My brain screamed don’t look at him, my cock, on the other hand, throbbed under my fingers and said, come on one last look.
Glancing in his direction as I walked past the men who sat in front of him, I saw his head turn and track me. Like some goddamn tiger or something. I got to the bathroom and made it to the urinal, and let out 5 beers worth of piss. My hard cock throbbing in my hand the entire time. When I finished, my cock had gone to semi-hard. Stuffing it back in my pants, I washed my hands, took a deep breath, and told myself to walk out of the bar. Walk out of the bathroom and straight out the bar, not looking at him or anyone. Out the bar and to my car. Go home. Go home and watch all of the videos you took of that beast. My cock twitched and started to harden again.
I opened the door, turned to go down the hallway, and ran into a wall of beef. He stood there, his massive body filling the dim hallway, waiting. I bounced off him and stumbled back two steps. I looked up at his face and those eyes. My body froze. I can’t explain it. I FROOZE. He looked at me, his head tilted as if he were deciding something. My heart was racing, and my mouth was dry. For seconds, I couldn’t say anything. Then I remembered what happened with the guy up front. I quickly said, “Sorry. Excuse me for bumping into you.”
He started moving toward me. I backed up a step, thinking he was headed to the bathroom. But he wasn’t. He kept walking past the bathroom, and now he was against me. His massive body pushes me forward, my backward pace struggling to keep up. “Uh wait, hey, umm, excuse me.” Every nonsensical word came out of my mouth, and he kept pushing me back down the hallway. I started to fall backward, and I felt this massive hand grab my shirt and keep me upright. With no effort, he lifted me on my toes and carried me down the darkening hall. I kept mumbling until he said, “Shut up.” He didn’t yell. He gave an order and expected it to be followed.
We turned a corner and went down another short hall. There was an exit door. He pushed me through it into the night. Behind the bar, it was virtually pitch black, only lit by moonlight and his eyes. He walked us 50 feet behind a brick shed and pushed me against the wall. His beard split into a hard grin, and he said, “Phone.”
Stunned and terrified, I said, “What?”
I have never had anyone grab me by my throat and lift me off the ground before. His massive hand clamped around my neck; his other hand went to my pants pocket and ripped out my phone. Still holding me up with one hand, his other expertly clicks the button to turn the screen on. It was locked. He looked at me and then at the phone. I expected he would demand the lock code. Instead, he turned my head to face the phone and held it up. Even in the dim moonlight, it recognized my face and unlocked it.
The massive hand that wasn’t throttling me expertly moved over the screen. His big fingers press and swipe my screen. The screen lit up his face. Harsh, rough, brutally handsome. In a few seconds, I heard the sound of the bar playing from my speaker. His hand tightened on my throat. I watched his face as he scrubbed through the video. His brutal features were darkening. The aura of potential violence made the air thick.
He turned the phone so I could see the video playing, which showed him staring at me and the camera from minutes ago. He pulled me down and leaned all of his weight into me, crushing me to the shed wall. He leaned in where our faces were touching. His steel grey eye was less than an inch from my own, staring into my eye like a laser beam. His beard rubbed against mine as his mouth was next to my ear. His hot, angry breath blew across my ear and neck. It was intimate. Fear can be intimate.
“Who the fuck are you, and why are you videoing me.” He said. His voice was deep, and his words were spoken normally, but the power behind them made me shiver. My brain went blank. Words just tumbled from my mouth. Apologies. Explanations. Gibberish. I could see the rage ignite in his eyes as he pressed himself against me fully and repeated himself more forcefully. He asked again, and the anger and potential violence in his voice made my legs weak.
Then froze. His eyes stayed locked to mine. His head tilted. He let go of my neck and reached down between us. My brain may have been terrified and incapable of action; however, my cock was having the time of its life. It could care less that this 390-pound monster was about to rip us apart. All it cared about was that 390-pound monster crushing and grinding me into the wall behind us. I felt the biker’s massive hand grab my hard cock.
The heat in his eyes was still there, in suspension. Lifting my phone back up, I watched as he expertly tapped, swiped, and scrubbed through my phone. We stood that way for almost 3-4 minutes. I heard numerous videos I had saved to my phone from Leather sites, Raw Fuck Club, videos saved from Twitter and Pornhub. He flicked through them, and all the while, my throbbing cock was crushed by his hand.
Looking back at me, his eyes were still full of heat. “Is that it puppy? You getting some more jerk off material on your phone?” My fear is now joined with shame. SHIT. Shame giving me the power to look away. His big hand squeezes my cock painfully, and he says, “I asked you a question, boy! You’re videoing me so you can jerk this thing off later?” His hand squeezed and pulled my cock roughly through my jeans. It throbbed and twitched with excitement.
I mumbled, “Yes.”
His face gets close to his mind, and the anger is back in his voice, “Speak up, boy! You got the balls to be filming me for your personal pleasure, be man enough to say it!”
“Yes, that is why I was filming you,” I said.
“Why me?” He said, his voice clearly expecting an answer.
I paused. Thinking of what to say. Decided on the truth. “I’ve never seen anyone like you. As big as you are. As tough as you are. As strong as you are. As mean and scary.“ I stopped myself from going further.
He let go of my cock and pressed himself hard against me, crushing me more than before. “You like’em big and scary, huh?” His face was close to mind. “I’m 400 fucking pounds of the meanest and scariest motherfucker you gonna ever meet, boy.” He pushed his mouth close to my ear and said, “I do mean and scary shit for fun. Are you sure you want that?” He fucking growled like a beast in my ear.
My cock didn’t give my brain time to think, so I quietly said, “Yes.”
He growled in my ear and crushed me even more against the wall. “Mean and scary it is.” He said.
Spinning me around, he pushed me face-first into the brick wall. He reached around, grabbed the front of my pants, and unbuckled my belt. He slid the belt off. Before I knew what was happening, he had made a loop out of it, put it around my neck, and pulled it tight. “There we go, puppy needs a leash.” He said. I was up on my toes. My skin was hot and cold. Excited and scared.
I felt his other hand grab the back of my jeans and yank. There was a ripping sound, and I tried to grab his hand to keep him from ripping my jeans. “Hey, I can take them down…” I never finished that sentence because I felt a fist hit me in the kidneys. Bright pain lanced up my side, and my legs went weak.
Pressing up against me, he said, “Understand this puppy. You’ve got three jobs right now. One, do what I say and nothing but what I say. Two, do whatever you can to make sure I enjoy using you however I want. Three, Survive. Do one and two well, and three shouldn’t be a problem. You fuck around thinking this is some date, and I can show you a whole other level of mean and scary. Do you understand me, boy?”
“ Yes, Sir.” I said.
He laughed roughly as his hand grabbed my jeans and ripped a big hole in the center. His hand reached through the hole to grab my shorts and grab one of the ass straps of my jock. He chuckled, “You’re a kinky fucker, aren’t you?”
I felt him step back and heard a zipper. He growled deeply again and pressed himself against me. I could feel his hot throbbing cock rub against my ass. He ground his hips back and forth and side to side. Fuck, it was huge. I could feel it throb and twitch as it moved across my skin. He slid it up my back and around my hips so I could feel how big it was. I whimpered a bit in lust and fear. Leaning in, he growled, “Everything about me is big and scary.”
He slides his now hard cock between my ass cheeks, stretching the cheeks apart with-it’s size. I feel him let out a deep, growling breath as he crushes me between him and the wall. I felt the big, veiny flesh slide up and down my hole. Yanking on the belt, he growls, “Open up.” He pushes his way in. Fuck its, huge. So damn thick. It just keeps sliding and sliding in. My breath is coming in short gasps. He chuckles as it pushes all the way in. I can feel his pubic hair and zipper teeth on my ass. I want to yell, but the belt is pulled tight on my neck.
“That’s it, puppy. Take it. Take it all.” He says, grinding his massive body against mine. His cock throbbing deep inside me. Soon, he got a steady stroke going. His strokes are solid and deep. His powerlifting hips alternate from jackhammering into me to crushing me against the wall between him and the shed. He’s growling and breathing behind me like an animal. My legs are weak from the pounding.
I feel him loosen his grip on the belt, grab my hair, and pull my head to the side. I feel his thick beard rub across my neck. I moan as he rubs across that spot. The spot that makes me squirm when the right man finds it. He knows and licks across it. My body shakes. Then I felt his mouth bite down on that spot. Every nerve in my body cuts on and off. His hungry mouth bites and gnaws at my neck. Never breaking the skin. Holding me in place as his massive body goes into overdrive. Powerfucking me against the wall. I feel like a rhino is ramming into me. Time blurs and I don’t know if it has been 5 minutes or 15, but this monster has stamina. His pounding has never stopped.
I’ve never been used like this. I feel his stroke change, and by the 4th stroke, he explodes inside of me. Shot after shot, painting my insides. So much cum. So much I can feel it leaking around his cock and down my legs. He keeps his cock inside me until the absolute last twitch is done. When he pulls it out, I can feel more of it soaking my jeans.
I feel him step back and hear him say, “Turn around, boy.” My legs are weak and wobbly. I feel like I have just lost a boxing match or been used like a tackling dummy.
He’s looking at me. Fuck he seems even bigger now. A huge fucking shadow in the moonlight.
I can barely see his face, but his eyes shine as he says. “You are not fucking done.” Looking down and then back up, he says. “Clean me up.” I look down, and his cock is still semi-hard and twitching. “You can get on your knees, or I can put you there. Get to work.”
Getting to my knees, I lean forward and take him in my mouth. Just like when he was fucking me against the wall, his hands were soon clamped on the side of my head, and his hips were thrusting his cock deep into my throat. The more I choke, cough, and sputter, the more he likes it. By the time he was done, I was a messy fleshlight. He dumped three more loads down my throat. His big dick was like a firehose. I was so full, weak, and used that I just lay on the ground.
I felt his boot push me over to my back. His huge shadow was standing over me. He puts his boot on my chest, bends down, and shines my phone in my face again. He turns it back around, and I watch as he flicks through it again, stopping a few times. “You didn’t do lousy tonight, boy. You managed to survive.” Putting real pressure on his boot and my chest, he repeats my home address, work address, and that of my sister. Nothing more, his threat was implicit. “You better start working out more because next time, tonight will look like foreplay.” Then I watched his massive hand squeeze, and he crushed my phone like it was nothing. It sparked, and smoke started coming out of the cracked sides. I watch him lean back and throw the now burning hunk of glass and metal far further than anyone should be able to. “You need a new phone, puppy.” He says as he walks off into the darkness. In the next few minutes, I heard a Harley start up and drive away.
Sometime later, I managed to get up and find my way to the parking lot. I smile as I gingerly get in my car, thinking about the cloud backup I have turned on for pictures and video on my phone. I do need a new phone. My dick twitches in anticipation.
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First, I want to admit that I was wrong. I thought the ICJ judgment that I linked was about Israel's current occupation and actions, specifically in Gaza, not their ongoing policies for decades. However, I really want to narrow this discussion to what is currently happening. I've had history quoted at me too many times by people with your political stance, and it just comes down to whether or not we believe Israel is righteous. We will never agree there. I want to engage with you on your terms, but my terms are that we stick to Gaza.
I also say that I was wrong to set a foundation of respect. I believe that you can be reasoned with, and so can I.
In that judgment, ICJ argues that Israel is not waging a war, but acquiring territory by force from an occupied territory of which it has a duty to respect the rights. In short, that Gazans are Israel's own people, by their occupation's own making, whose rights they are violating. Specifically, their right to self-determination. That seems to be an important right to the Israeli people. This is a fairly direct judgment, and if we can't agree here, I am writing this argument for someone else. I researched the documentation in order to respond to your perspective specifically.
In the more popularized public court case, which was never making a judgment on the serious claim of genocide, they still did lean in favor of South Africa. "Plausibility of the right to be protected from genocide" is still deciding that the case has merit, however hesitantly and restrainedly. They won't decide further until the case is complete.
They have since judged Israel's actions unlawful. Do you think that the United Nations, whom a close ally of Israel, the US, holds veto power over, might have a reason for calling it unlawful actions instead of evaluating its relationship to genocide? Israel has ignored and rejected the orders of the ICJ on three separate provisional measures. Do you support these rejections? The next hearing won't complete until after July 2025. Isn't this too long to wait for common people to name a crime?
I don't see any reason why we should wait for the United Nations' decision before discussing what is clearly occuring. They are simply one authority of many, and the ICY (Yugoslavia) was the court that decided the most recent Bosnian genocide. We aren't deciding international culpability, just whether normal people are allowed to call this a genocide. So, let's make our own judgments based on the legal definition, which is two parts: destruction and intent.
Destruction includes a couple direct clauses. Let's use Gazans as the "group" here, separated from others by their ethnicity, religion, and occupied national group. The ICJ has previously ruled on racial discrimination, that Palestinians are targeted for belonging to a specific group. So. Israel has certainly "killed members of this group." They have certainly "caused serious bodily and mental harm to members of this group." They have certainly "deliberately inflicted on the group conditions of life calculated to bring about its physical destruction in whole or in part." Whether or not these actions were justified, instigated, whether history proves them righteous, these facts are undeniable.
Intent is harder to prove, but let's keep it simple.
The reason the ICJ deemed the fragmentary last actions of the Bosnian genocide not genocidal is because they were intended to displace the citizenry, not destroy them. Is Israel trying to displace Gazans, as they have for decades? Or are they trying to destroy them? The borders are closed.
Israel's goal is not to win a war or resolve a hostage crisis, but to wipe out the Gazan people. In self-defense. They have waited for their actions to be defensible to the global community, and to the Jewish community. What could Israel do that would not be justified to you? On the other hand, what could they do that would kill as many Gazans as possible, while still being defensible to you? Does it look like what's happening now?
40,000 Gazan deaths. Since they stopped being able to record and report the numbers months ago. 300 Israeli deaths after the initial attack, some killed by Israeli soldiers themselves. 40,000 : 300.
This is not a war. It is a slaughter, occurring in an enclosed space, against civilians, not incidentally, but intentionally. It is accompanied by torture and rape, unmitigated famine, and the deliberate murder of children, not through bombs but through sniper bullets. If you want to pick one authority that hasn't declared it a genocide, in order to protect your morality, you are allowed to. The rest of us will keep speaking the truth: That Israel's actions are unlawful, that they are for territory acquisition, that they are destruction with intent of the Palestinian people, that this is a genocide.
I know you believe this, too. I know that on some level you acknowledge these things, based on the fact that you can't defend the West Bank settlers. Your blog is honestly wonderful, you seem like a good person, and I really don't want to bother you. I can tell you see the inhumanity in Israel's current actions. We shouldn't wait for the ICJ to rule it a genocide to call it one.
There have been so many genocides that we could not stop, that didn't receive widespread attention, and that the United States was not directly funding. If you did not have a personal connection to Israel, would you speak out?
I cannot believe I have to say things like this but here goes:
Not every tragedy is The Holocaust
Not every war is Genocide
Not every racist is a fascist
Not every right winger is a Nazi
Not every bad thing is the worst thing ever.
Words have meanings for a reason and to repeatedly misuse them waters down both the horror of the even you reference and the horror of whatever is going on. In the same vein as the quote "science works whether you believe in it or not", definitions exist whether you think something 'feels' like something it isn't or not.
Repeatedly using the wrong words because you want to invoke an emotional response makes you look dumb, uniformed and stops people taking you seriously as you've clearly got no idea about how reality works. Not just that but it becomes clear when you repeated repurpose words used about specific events which target Jews that you're trying to claim things that aren't yours and that you want to remove the Jewish story from anti-jewish events, erasing us and our history. Grow up.
#we are allowed to call it a genocide.#i went straight to the source to see if we should even rely on the icj#they've never been the authority on the moment it becomes genocide so why are you leaning on them now#they are about consequences and judgments afterwards#we are allowed to call it a genocide!! it doesn't weaken the term. this isn't minor.#I've been sitting on this for days and i still feel good about it.#this is not antisemitism. reject the current violent actions.
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I think I'm going insane. Lately my dreams have been so mundane, it wouldn't be weird if I wasn't just a person that has nightmares 80% of the time, so I now my dreams are so hard to distinguish from reality.
I wouldn't be able tell what was real from what not if it wasn't because last night I went to my doctor's appointment and I was handed new glasses by Harvey just to go back home and find out Laois was cooking something in my backyard.
#to be fair. in my dream i was back at my old house. so the horrors where there still#also i've been dreaming about my dog. but sometimes it's not him. it's other dog trying to replace him. but it's not him. i miss him dearly#but it's... weird. i never actually dream with characters either. something strange is going on#I've been telling my brother i wake up and i have to remember who i am#for the totally normal dreams. it's like my soul is divided and it's living somewhere else for the night#who is the person i am when i dream. because it's not me. it's a whole different live. whole different people around me. I'm going insane#there's such a strange feeling about it. it's familiar? it's comfortable?#which only makes it even more weird. why is a life so different to mine feel so comfortable...#to the point i wake up and i don't remember who i am for at least ten minutes#but then i forget what i had dreamt about. and then i go around my day randomly reminding things. then that's when i realize those memories#were actual dreams#i should write a fanfic about this lmao#it was a nice dream though. i remember vividly i was sitting in one of those chairs thingies that hang in the air?#and i was swinging happily. i think Laios was talking about where he got whatever the fuck he was cooking. i couldn't understand him really.#he wasn't speaking in spanish but it wasn't english either. i think it was a made up gibberish... I'm still baffled by how comfortable i was#i think there were friends around too. maybe a hangout was going on? everything was nice. it reminds me of the times#i would go eat at a friend's house. but things felt a lot nicer. it was like if time had stopped and nothing wrong could ever happen.#and even then. i was still there. which i think that's why i started to feel dizzy in my little swing. i ended up waking up from that.#i still get dizzy remembering it.#welp. I hope i don't lose myself tonight...#I don't actually know what's worse. the nightmares are common. they are familiar. there's comfort in knowing what to expect.#but “good” dreams like that... i end up thinking about them too much. the residual feeling is weirder#and i have to deal with the whole different layer that is.. there's was a fucking anime guy there. kill me. kill me. get him OUT of my brain#I'm not lying when I say I can physically feel Laios rearranging my brain in ways i will not share publicly#kill me.
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HELLO??????
#this does explain why i was so fucking winded like the last mile and a half... It's because I was running fucking 9:40s#And my heart rate was like sitting at 180!!!#This was an INSANELY flat run tho like 200ft total elevation change over 16 miles#But at the same time.... Damn I still have it????#I was feeling kinda bleh the first couple of miles and then i was feeling good and then I checked my watch for the first time @8#And then i was like. Hello???? Sub 10???? And then I guess i felt good and just kept doing that. Like?????#I thought about doing like another 4mi when I was like. Crossing the bridge I was like oh I could just go to the next one#And tbh i think my legs have it in me??#But would be a bizzare choice to go from a 12mi long run to like a TWENTY mile long run in like two weeks. I don't wanna get injured...#I really did have kind of a crappy running week (Killed my legs w/ 8 days on + hard frisbee game on horrid field Tues)#And i woke up with some ankle pain... But the run itself was amazinggggg#Exactly what I needed :)#I do need to actually register for my race and also. Make a training plan#Bc ive been fairly into my stats lately so... If i have one I might actually follow it....#ANYWAY!! /#BEAUTIFUL DAY!!! BEAUTIFUL RUN!!! HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!!!!#MARATHON NO3 I'M COMING FOR U!!!!!!!!#Tetrapod runs#Jfjfjfj my other concern was fueling bc all I had was a cliff bar but it was tbh totally fine#I'm thinking of trying to reconsider how I've done long run fuel thus far but idk... We'll see!#Jfjfjfj this is the summer of fucking with my diet because I want to try new things I guess!!! But not TOO crazy obviously
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my best friend has been very distant w me lately and i asked today if she wanted to hang out and she said she probably couldn't bc it's her brothers birthday but she would let me know if she could and i have her location and i just looked and she's at her boyfriends house rn....
#we have it bc we're roomates so we started sharing locations when we first moved in like in case someone doesn't come home at night or smth#she recently told me that she wants to move out bc she has always wanted to live alone and she can finally afford it. and i asked her#directly like is there an issue because she is so non confrontational so she has never ever mentioned me doing anything that bothers her#and i said please tell me if there's something wrong because it would really suck if there was and i never got a chance to fix it because#you never told me. and she said no it has nothing to do with that i really just feel like it's time for me to live on my own. and a couple#days ago she was like okay i'm next in line for my apartment i'll probably move out in april. and i try to get her to hang out still and#she always has something else going on and i swear every night this week she's been at her boyfriends.#and if i see her around our apartment and try to make conversation at all she's so like short about it and barely responds like will only#give one word answers. i feel like it kind of started when i started dating e but i realized that i was spending less time with her and i#didn't want to be the girl that loses all my friends bc of a boyfriend so i started specifically reaching out to hang out with her and she#says no most of the time and never asks me. like i don't know what else i can do.#i'm like maybe it's bc of her boyfriend? bc they've been on again off again for a long time and previously when they were together it was#really distant with her like i barely saw her EVER. and they were mostly broken up for the past couple years and have been together i think#for a while again... but she knows i don't approve of that relationship and so she would like not say when they were talking again. so maybe#since lately they've been hanging out or dating or WHATEVER she doesn't fucking tell me what's going on with him. maybe that's why.#i literally like try to think of ways it could be my fault and maybe i'm being crazy but i cannot even think to blame myself for more than a#fleeting second bc i'm like. i have ASKED HER directly if there is an issue or something i do that bothers her and she says no. so even if#i'm somehow pissing her off would i ever know to change anything?? i just feel so frustrated bc it's like she's an entirely different person#to me. like this is not the person i know. and i don't know what else i could possibly do like i feel like we need to sit down and have a#conversation about it but what good does that do if she just acts like nothing is wrong. but i don't want to lose my friend i have such a#hard time making friends. i've known her since i was 14 like i can't imagine my life without her. we were the only two in our whole friend#group in high school to get out of the church i still love those other girls but we have so little in common now.
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I hope everyone who reads this is having a better day than I am 🙏
#Away on a work thing for a couple of days and while my work situation has started to improve it's still not great in many aspects#Things can't just become amazing in no time I understand that#The main difference now from a month ago is that I now have someone who has my back#And who is systematically working to relieve me of a lot of burdensome work#And she is great. She is amazing. She really DOES have my back and I feel hopeful for the future. She cares.#But I still have coworkers (especially one of them) who are treating me so unfairly#I had to go to my hotel room and cry over the phone with my partner earlier today#Because I've worked my fucking ass off for such a long time to do good things and help my coworkers#And try to get us out of impossible situations as best as I can#And this is in no way meant to be a brag I just want to be extremely clear here about what's going on:#Without me they would be out of a job. Because I've been tearing myself into a million tiny pieces to hold the company together.#And what I get in return is literally... Complaints. And negativity. And annoyed comments about how they wish things could be better.#And the things they DO SEE that are GOOD they do not attribute to me at all#They have barely even thanked me for anything I have done#And I am supposed to fucking sit there. And smile. And be pleasant. And be social with them and have a haha good fun time with them.#But I am just so sick and tired of working my ass off for people who don't even care.#I don't even think anyone realises it but I am *this close* to just saying fuck it and quitting.#The only thing that's keeping me from doing that right now is the fact that this person who is slowly making things better for me DOES CARE#She is slowly realizing just how much of the company I'm carrying on my back and how close I am to collapsing under the ungrateful weight#And she has made it very clear to me that she will help me. That she sees me and supports me and that she will get things off my back.#And I really truly believe her#But if for some reason she would disappear... I don't think I can stay here anymore#So this is really the last chance I'm giving it#Anyway it will all turn out okay. I'm sure it will.#I'm just so disappointed and angry and sad right now#I've just suffered through a long dinner with them all and now I have escaped to my hotel room#I am going to comfort-binge Netflix for the rest of the night and try to be kind to myself.#Sorry for the long-ass vent#I'm impressed if you got this far#Tw vent
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#i spent the whole day consuming haikyuu content and i'm so inconsolable right now#the series has had a special place in my heart for years now but i've never entirely understood why#like it's a very visceral‚ instinctual and emotional type of love that i haven't been able to feel towards any other series#and this is even when i haven't reread/rewatched the series in a long time#but it's always at the back of my mind and i always mean to come back to it eventually#now that i've watched/read some analyses on it‚ it's clearer now how furudate-sensei's masterful writing was what made hq so special to me#even if i couldn't intellectually understand‚ the raw emotion that this series continues to pull out of me is a testament to how good it is#the series isn't just about volleyball‚ it's about passion‚ life‚ connections‚ hunger#there's so many good life lessons you can get from it and relearning them is just one benefit of rereading it i think#it's so utterly dense that if you sit back and think about it or read up about it‚ you can see how intricate each journey is#and it uses volleyball as a vehicle to convey these themes#i'm getting so emotional again holy shit#god haikyuu is so good y'all#it means so much to me#still one of the best pieces of fiction i've ever had the pleasure of consuming#haikyuu!!#The Cloud Talk
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I had many things that I had considered doing today, most of it just being some chill video gaming, if I'm really honest. And I did get to do some. Then I started feeling sick.
I thought to myself, oh well, that silly motion sickness again, guess I'mma take a break 🙃
Turns out, wasn't just the motion sickness, though.
Spent the next hour and a half using my toilet as an echo chamber for creative voice lessons. Switched it up every now and again, just to keep things interesting, but the sound was just too good, so I kept coming back for encores. Realised the toilet might be cursed because I could not move away from it for more than a few meters or a few minutes before having to return.
Messaged my mom, who kindly brought me something to help break the curse.
Then spent the next three hours in a curled up position on my bedroom floor, on the carpet right next to my bed (bed would have been to soft), head on my fluffiest pillow, and underneath a warm, cuddly blanket, finally getting some rest and sleeping off the exhaustion.
When it all started it was early afternoon. The sun has now set. I am finally sitting back on the couch, munching on some insanely good pretzel sticks and drinking tea. Feel utterly serene. Could murder someone for a good, cheesy pizza right now, but that might be the devil talking.
#just me rambling#guessing that something didn't agree with my stomach but it's not quite clear what it was#it's been like 7 years since I last got sick enough to throw up and I can't say that I missed it much or cared much for it#my throat actually feels sore from all the dry-heaving#I've also been wondering#because I know that it's been debunked that coca cola is any good for you on an upset stomach#but coke + pretzel sticks has been the go-to household remedy ever since I was a child and it has always helped#this time as well#the coke was the first thing I was actually able to retain today#even water came right back out#and the pretzel sticks are perfect now#had some electrolytes too for obvious reasons#kinda want to continue playing my game but I don't dare do it anymore today#not when I know it could potentially trigger motion sickness-related issues on top of an already sensitive stomach#I've had quite enough of being sick today thank you very much#some movie maybe?#some visual novel?#not sure how well reading on my tv screen for an extended period of time is gonna sit with my head (and by extension my stomach) though#continue reading the book I'm in the middle of? maybe#really glad my nose is back to normal#it's fascinating the smells you pick up on that completely churn your stomach when you're sick#half of that shit I can't even smell properly now anymore#god some french fries would be great now too#way back in my teens when I got sick after not eating anything for too long (and then couldn't eat because I was sick - brilliant. 😑)#the thing that got me back to feeling normal ended up being french fries#the electrolytes concoction had a good amount of salt in it but I feel like my body is still demanding more#I don't trust myself with anything but pretzel sticks right now though#on any other day I might have caved and ordered that pizza#I need to stop talking about pizza for my own sanity xD#on another note: there is still a mosquito in here with me 🧐
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//but idk maybe i'm underreporting my symptoms? i've never been good at describing pain and body sensations other than It Fucking Hurts and I Feel Sick but i DID mention that my work hours had to be cut because i had to go home like several fucking times a week which idk about anyone else but that sounds pretty fucking severe to me
#ooc#yeah i'm still on about this i'm like. frustrated lmao#but then again i forgot to mention that i'm also nearly Constantly Fucking Crying from pain at work also#and half the time i force myself to power through because i need the fucking money#but then again today has probably been the best day i've had in terms of pain since it's gotten worse so like#definitely not feeling Good but i was able to make it through my shift today without a single tear or need to sit down on the fucking floor#hooray! the bar is that low!#still fucking hurts though#as much as i hate having my hours chopped in half having me come in later and letting me sleep in does seem to help a little bit#at least based on today. the first day that went into effect#(was supposed to be yesterday but nobody told me/i didn't see the change on the app so i went in early like usual)
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Ranking Pepper’s hammocks A-F now that he’s made five of them
First - B - Not a bad start! But why did he put it on top of the pre-built nest. It is literally right there. Overall, good protection and well reinforced just... You didn’t have to make a new one, Pepper
Second - C - No reinforcement, no safety net, out in the middle of the top of the enclosure, extremely visible and see-through, which is great for me because I can see him napping - very cute, but Pepper, your safety and security!
Third - A - The molt hammock! Thick webbing, obscured under moss, easy to overlook and well protected! But he stayed in there for a literal week and scared me >:0
Fourth - D - Made a tiny, very sparse hammock in the cattails for one night and has since abandoned it. Why even bother at that point? He still fit in the first two hammocks!
Fifth - A - The best napping hammock so far! In the opposite corner from the pre-built so not directly on top of an easier solution, closer to the light source in the evening, decently thick and secure, and in a corner so he’s not just hanging out in the direct middle of the enclosure - protected on two sides! Bonus points for having caught a little video of him doing the booty dance construction :)
#Spider#And another not-Weekly TV Guide lol#'Nother week of no doodles soz lol#I actually managed to used my tablet! Success!#Unfortunately it was not a sketch day and that was all I wanted to do so I got frustrated and stopped :')#I'm still crafting for the most part over drawing as well!#I'm not sure what's up :0 I guess I'm perfectly in the middle of Happy so no need to vent but not So over-excited that I'll explode#Not through drawing anyway - I Did sit down to write some more Delusions and doubled my wordcount so uhhh lol#Not overall just for the scene I was working on but still! A good clip!#Hoping to have its first draft done by the end of next month :3 Feeling good about it! :D#Plenty of things being worked on! Lots in the holster! Just not as much Finished#Offline days are usually good for doodles but I'm not gonna force anything haha#I know where to look for inspiration <3#Just taking things slow and comfy for the most part :)#I've been really distractable lately still lol#Oh but I did get one thing handled :D New glasses! No longer looking through a massive web of scratches!#And they're made with my favourite frame material which I haven't been able to find in-person in stores And they were less expensive as well#I'm very pleased with them they're so much lighter and clearer than my last pair ♪#Good things! Feeling good! :D
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#I can't stop thinking about the parallels between Eden and Kalpas#Was it done on purpose? At times it doesn't feel like it#At times it feels more that instead of very conscious and intently weitten like that it was more a coincidence#derivative from the recurring themes and parallels in ideas roles character and situations that thread all the Flame Chasers together#and make of them a cohesive whole#But wow the parallels bwtween Eden and Kalpas specifically are so good#I've been thinking about them for days sometimes quite intensely#I haven't even reached that part of the story yet and still here I am#At this point the actual development of the story and the writing of these details is bound to disappoint me#It shines so beautifully in my mind and with such a particular glow#Like one of those cups or calices made our of seashells#I talk too much#I can't believe an idol and an alien are all I've been thinking of for hours now#Normally alien and idol are tropes I couldn't care less for#Yet somehow I'm invested#And somehow I am very invested in this lame ass man#I can't believe I initially disliked and found kind of disgusting then got very fond of a man with white hair with black details#and something over his face that has a lot of anger issues but is sort of very gentle in his way‚#fact that shows not only in his behaviour but even his preferences and hobbies#but nonetheless he is quite shy and detached from people with a few exceptions‚ a pink haired woman his closest most trusted person#and sort of friend but not quite but also deeper than that at the same time#And this has happened twice#I can't see Guzm.a without seeing Kalpas now and the other way round#They both sit the same way‚ wear short sleeved jackets over a t-shirt with a wide neckline‚ both are obsessed with destruction#and breaking things and the sound they make while doing that‚ both screan rude things all the time‚#both find pretty much everyone stupid and annoying both share a feeling of alienation and unbelonging#Both take care of a bunch of kids in a way#Guz.ma's ending in the manga may be my favourite writing in the whole history of Pokemo.n‚ and N exists!#Otto/Kalpas situation tbh I can't stand myself#Get a grip look at that very well written character with all the traits and thematic you most enjoy. What are you doing with this guy
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