#I've been following your blog for a while now on main and you seem super cool

[chilled-rose]

I've been very inspired by @wolfertinger666 's gorgeous art! Posting here because my main uses my work email and I'd be nervous 🫣

[bubshrub]

ATTENTION FOLLOWERS!!! I HAVE A NEW MAIN ACCOUNT!!!

LOOK! ITS ACTUALLY GOT A PFP AND EVERYTHING!!!

@theeshrubbery :D

This may seem kinda sudden, but i've been wanting to make a new account for a long time (mostly cuz this one's super unorganized and i don't have the patience to fix it up lol). I've just been procrastinating like a mother fucker 💀 until now!

I'm still in the process of re-following people and reblogging a few posts from here, but as of today, bubshrub is no longer my main. 🫡

Btw don't worry about this blog! It's not going anywhere :) i'll still log in once in a while to check on everything! Just don't expect me to reblog 500 posts in a single day like i usually do lmao.

anyway tldr: if you enjoy my presence on your dash, follow @theeshrubbery !!! :3

[dearweirdme]

Hello Rain👋,I trust this message finds you well. A few months ago, I stumbled upon your blog and have been following it since.

While I've been an ARMY since 2021, I haven't paid much attention to the shipping aspect of the fandom aside from vmin. I must commend you and your fellow followers for being some of the kindest and most level-headed individuals. It perplexes me, however, that you guys believe that taekook exists.

To me, their connection seems more like that of brothers. I've delved into various videos, including that recommended timeline blog, and while I acknowledge a few moments might raise eyebrows, they don't particularly stand out. Similar moments exist among other members too. For me, neither Taekook nor Jikook goes beyond friendship.

So, my question is, how did you arrive at this perspective? What persuaded you otherwise? How do these moments differ from interactions with other members? I'm not trying to criticize anyone; I'm genuinely curious and eager to comprehend your viewpoint. I would appreciate it if other Taekookers could share their thoughts in the comment section as well.

If you don't feel the need to answer, I will understand. I didn't mean any harm.

Hi anon!

Well, if you have been following me for some months and do not understand now, I don’t think anything I say now will make you reconsider 😊.

I see the members as some sort of brothers. I think there is no existing word to describe their bond for what it actually is, because how many cases like theirs are there. How do you describe coworkers/friends/housemates/people-who-are-on-a-joint-road-to-fame in one word? There isn't a fitting description for them imo. So, while I consider BTS members as brother-like.. to me Tae and Jk go beyond that. Because there's things they do and there's things other's do that does not fit the platonic brother bond.

They look at each other differently. And it's not pure friendship imo. At times, there's a pride and an admiration and a softness (yes, the softness!) in their eyes that they do not reserve for the others. And so many times that their eyes skid to the other for some sort of private moment of understanding or acknowledgement. I find them way more aware of the other than they are off other members, and I feel they look for each other more and look for the other's reactions to things more. Like.. they want to see how the other is reacting. There's smiles bitten away, there's a shyness at times that makes no sense in a platonic setting. And.. there's signs of attraction. Lipbiting, checking each other out.

The odness around them. Seriously, the whole narrative of them having been awkward/distant is such bs to me. I hate it so much! Because it just isn't true and the evidence of it not being true is right under everyone's noses. Instead of BH righting that narrative, they made it so that the whole of fandom (well not the whole, but a large part of it) actually believed it. But imo there is no way Tae and Jk ever were awkward or distant or anything less than friends. All throughout the years there's footage of them being comfortable and close. Directly after the ITS talk (and honestly even way before ITS) Tae and Jk were so super close. No way that happenend just because of them having one very public filmed talk. It's just such bs and I cannot conceive of a reason for that to have been a thing without there being a distinct reason for it.

The other members reaction to them. Seriously, Jm's reaction to them on several occasions 😂. He knows what goes around in their heads. Yoongi's text to both of them. Namjoon’s multiple instances of 🙄👀.

The way they hid in each other's lives. Like, what is the reason? Why not do a joint live when you're together?

Jk chooses Tae. Maybe not always with words, but he does with his body and his eyes. I get these long essays from Jkkrs telling me Jk always goes to Jm when he's troubled, but I think Tae and Jk are each other's main source of comfort. The way Jk reached out for Tae during Mama is really telling to me. That is how they really are. And I think that, because there's a shift in Jk that to me looks like he's breaking character. We get little snippets and hints of them taking care of each other. Jk with Tae when he’s not feeling well. Jk watching out for spicy food for Tae. Jk speaking out on Tae not being able to dance yet when he was injured. Jk pushing Tae to sit instead of him sitting incorrectly. Tae making sure Jk is not lonely. All the comforting motions. It’s actually way more than people usually consider, because it’s always something in the back and never the focus.

Tae is so obvious.

There’s probably even more. But to me the whole of it is just so much and it’s super consistent.

Edit to add these:

7. The way they hold back at times. Catching themselves when they start to reach out or touch.

8. The way they seem to know more about each other than the other members do.

[nabateaprodigy]

OUT OF POCKET ANON has a request!

Open <-

Close

Heyo! I just found your blog and wants to know how would the main four + Basil react to somebody who has ice skates on and just kicks enemies in the face with them and deals massive damage but like their attacks cost a lot of JUICE so they mostly heal with HERO.

Thought that would be a cool concept!

End of request.

- out of pocket anon

Note: Anon this request is amazing! I'll admit I laughed while reading it. But in a good way! I hope I'll be able to get more requests from you in the future out of pocket anon! My apologies this took way longer than it should have anon.

Reader: Male. (Pronouns He/Him.)

Game Series: Omori.

Characters: Omor, Hero, Kel, Aubrey, and Basil.

Ice Skating Mania

Omori

It was just another day in Headspace with Omori and his friends sitting at having a picnic....in a mountain of snow and ice. An unusual place for him, his friends, and his sister to have a picnic for sure but as long as Omori could be with them he was happy. Aubrey and Kel could be seen having a snowball fight while Hero was caught in the middle trying not to get hit. Basil and Mari were also making snow angels together and while he could Basil snapped a picture of the snowball fight between Kel and Aubrey. Meanwhile, Omori was sitting on the picnic blanket waiting for another one of his friends to arrive.

However, it has been quite some time since he went off and left the group of friends. Omori was beginning to get a little worried about his friend thinking something may have happened to him. However just when he was thinking that he was pulled out of his thoughts by a "Hey Omori!" He turned his head to see M/N running towards him with something in his hands. "I hope I didn't keep you waiting Omori!"

"I promise you though it's worth the wait I can't wait to show you!" His friend's eyes sparkle with excitement and joy. Omori looks to see his friend has a pair of ice skates in his hands. "I've got some ice skates with me. I didn't feel they need to bring this up before since we don't come here much. But I'm pretty talented at ice skating and wanted to show it off to you!" His friend says as he takes off his shoes and puts on his ice skates. "Thankfully there's a frozen lake super close to here come I'll show you and everyone else what I'm capable of!"

He says as he takes Omori's hand and yells out to his other friends to follow him to the frozen lake. "Great now watch and learn you're about to witness skill and grace!" He says as glides around the frozen lake with graceful movements. But before he could finish two snow bunnies suddenly attack! Omori and his friends immediately jump into action to protect their friend and defeat the snow bunnies. "Now you get to witness some of my skills watch and learn everyone!" He says as does a twirl and downward kick and attacks the snow bunnies defeating them.

"Woah! That was amazing!" All but Omori said but even though he didn't say anything. You can tell by the expression on his face he found what his friend did pretty impressive. "Although that took a lot of my juice. Hero, do you mind healing me?" "Of course!" Hero said as he healed up M/N juice. "What's with that look, Omori? Were you impressed? If so come on I'll teach you to be just as skilled and graceful as I am with ice skating!"

Hero

M/N had just gotten back to see his friend Hero In the middle of a snowball fight between Kel and Aubrey. M/N laughed at the sight of Hero being caught in the middle of a snowball fight. "Oh, my Hero how did you manage to end up like this?* M/N smiled as he saw Hero trying not to get hit as he ran over to M/N. "Those two haven't stopped they've been having that snowball fight forever now." Hero says to M/N out of breath from the running and dogging he had been doing trying not to get hit by the snowballs.

"Seems like you need a break huh? Well, I know the perfect way for you to take a break and relax! Look I've got some ice skates with me I'm pretty skilled at ice skating come on I'll show you!" He takes Hero's hand and drags him near a frozen lake and Omori and the others follow as well to see M/N skate. M/N takes off his shoes and then put on his ice skates putting his shoes aside.

M/N steps onto the frozen lake and skates around with skill and grace "Well Hero what do you think? " You're amazing M/N! You should have shown me this sooner! M/N laughed "Thank you Hero I'm glad to hear that. Now to finish this off with a spin!" But before M/N could finish with a spin a Snow Angel attacked! Hero and the others rushed to M/N's side to help him defeat the enemy.

"My skills with ice skating even involve battle as well! Now watch and learn everyone!" M/N said as he skated around the Snow Angel and as he got closer to it attacked it with the heel of his ice skate. "Yay another victory for M/N!" The group watched in amazement as he defeated the Snow Angel. "However I am low on juice be a dear and heal me, hero?" "Oh of course! Right away I'm here to help!" Hero said as he healed up M/N juice.

"That was amazing M/N! How'd you manage to do that?!?" "With tons of practice of course! Here I have another pair of ice skates put these on and I'll tell teach you!" Hero takes the ice skates from M/N and then steps on the frozen lake and falls. "I thought that might happen here take my hand I'll teach you step by step!" M/N says as Hero takes his hand and begins to practice ice skating.

Kel

You had just gotten back to see your good friend Kel in the middle of a snowball with your other good friend Aubrey. You had no idea how long it had been going on but assumed it started after you left. You also noticed Hero in the middle of the chaos of the snowball fight trying to get Kel and Hero to stop while not getting hit with a snowball himself.

Kel and Aubrey even built snow walls to duck behind so that they wouldn't get hit. You quickly rushed over to Kel "Hiya Kel how's the snowball fight going? Kel turned to look at you and his face lit up as he saw you. "M/N your back! Come help me defeat Aubrey In a snowball fight!" You laughed as he started to throw snowballs toward Aubrey. "Okay I can help but only for a little while I have something to show you!" You said as you and Kel threw snowballs at Aubrey while she complained about how unfair two against one was.

After a while, the snowball fight ended with you and Kel being the winners! "Yeah, we won! We're awesome we make a great team M/N!" Kel said looking towards you with a big smile on his face. "I agree we were we'll have to do this again sometime Kel. It was so much fun! But look I have something to show you." You get your ice skates and show them to Kel. "This is what I was away getting some ice skates! I'm pretty talented and wanted to show you what I'm like when ice skating!"

M/N took Kel by the hand and guided him over the frozen while calling out to his other friends to follow. He took off his shoes and put on his ice skates while putting his shoes aside. Once he was ready he stepped onto the frozen lake. "Watch this Kel! Watch and learn the skill and grace of a skilled ice skater!" He was about to finish with a slide however enemies appeared!

Kel and everyone else jumped into action to defeat the enemies and protect M/N. "Don't worry everyone like I said I have the skill and I shall deal with this enemy," M/N said as he dashed around and did a jumping slash at the enemy. "The enemy is defeated and there's a victory for the party!" "Woah M/N you were so amazing! So cool! Teach me to do that!" M/N laughs. "Of course, I shall teach you but I need to heal my juice and then I'll teach you!"

Aubrey

After getting a pair of ice skates you decided to head back to see your friends. Hopefully, you didn't keep them waiting too long Honestly you're not sure long you'd had been away. But it seems like you've been away for longer than you thought as two of your friends had gotten into a snowball fight. Those friends being Kel and the friend you had something to show to being Aubrey.

But you decided that you could have a little fun before you showed her your talent. You rushed over to Aubrey and decided to join the snowball fight! "Heya Aubrey! How's this snowball fight going?" She was surprised to see you but then quickly became excited. "M/N I'm glad your back! Now join this snowball fight and help me win!"

Alright Aubrey let's do this we'll win for sure!" You said as you joined the snowball fight with Aubrey. To say the least...you and Aubrey won easily. I mean why wouldn't you? You've got a friend who's pretty strong after all!

"Okay now that we've won that and quite easily might add. What is it you want to show me M/N?" Aubrey had asked. "Oh yeah here's what I want to show you!" You said as you showed Aubrey the pair of ice skates. "I've been told I'm pretty talented with ice skating. I must say I also agree as I enjoy it. But I wanted to show you and see what you think. Come let's go follow me!" You say as turn around going around to the nearby frozen lake and call out to your other friends to follow.

As M/N and the others get closer to the lake. He then takes off his shoes then puts on his ice skates. "Okay now watch this Aubrey I'm sure you'll be impressed!" You say as you step into the lake and show Aubrey what you have learned. "Wow, amazing! That's so graceful and wonderful M/N!" However, just then Snow Angel attack!

"Okay everyone time to defeat the enemy prepare!" Aubrey says as she and the others prepare to fight. However, before they do anything. You slide in and defeat the enemy with some ice from your skate! "Woah amazing M/N! Teach me how to do that!" *After that you take a moment to relax. "Sure Aubrey but I need Hero to heal my juice then I'll teach you!" You said as Aubrey grew a smile on her face. "Thank you M/N I can't wait!"

Basil

You had just gotten back from the picnic you and your friends were having. You were not sure why you'd have a picnic here. But to say you didn't mind would be a lie you now got a chance to show off your ice skating skills! However, you just need to find Basil so you can show him.

You were looking around for him and then spotted him with Mari making some snow angels. You approached the both of them "Hello you two! Mind if I join?" You smile. "Oh hello M/N it's nice to see you again. Sure you can join us." Basil said. "Great seems like the both of you are having fun!" You lay down next to Basil and start making snow angels.

"Hey, Basil I have something to show you!" You sit up and turn to look at him as he does the same. "Oh, what is it M/N?" Basil asks. "It's these! I got these ice skates while I was away. I like to think I'm pretty talented with ice skating. Come on I'll show you!" M/N says as he takes Basil to the nearby frozen lake. "Have fun you two!" Mari called out. "We will!"

As they approach the lake M/N takes off his shoes and puts on his ice skates. Then steps into the lake. "Okay watch me Basil I'm sure you'll be impressed!" M/N said showed off the skills and moves he had learned as an ice skater. "Watch out M/N!" Basil says as M/N turns around and dodged an attack from an enemy.

M/N strikes the enemy in the head. "Oh, my that was wonderful M/N!" "Oh thank you, Basil. Goodness, I need to heal up my juice I need to ask Hero to heal me." "Yes let's have Hero heal to make sure you're okay." M/N smiles at Basil. "Sure let's do that then I can teach you how to skate!"

[breaking-thechains]

⠀⠀⠀ ☆ — Jeff Pilson ׅ⎖

⠀Dokken's token bassist has arrived! Will he talk ⠀about batman comics? Will he chat your ears ⠀off? Will he drink the last beer? Who knows!

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Don't like? Don't interact.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀... more info below

Before you follow / interact

I am new to rp on tumblr so please be patient with me while I figure everything out, but I am not new to rock star rp! I've written an array of rock stars on twitter that I plan to move here!

I prefer not to write with minors!! Just a personal comfort thing as I'm nineteen turning twenty soon! 16+ is okay just be warned! (If I accidentally follow you and you're 15 or below please block, asks are fine though!)

Nsfw and such is fine, I don't mind it! (Anything descriptive is for dms only! and please be respectful, I won't hesitate to block.)

My writing is usually literate, so changing layout forms is gonna be awkward for me, but I'm learning!

I also write the darker topics that come with rock stars and the 80s, which is another reason I don't write with most minors! If anything might be triggering, feel free to block!!

Much of my portrayal is both fact and fiction, so don't think of everything I write as true! I am not affiliated with Jeff Pilson.

My asks are open so feel free to either interact ic or ask questions about me ooc! (Please label anything ooc if so that way I won't get confused. Just don't be creepy!!)

My activity may be on and off, so don't expect me to be active all of the time!

Single-ship seems to be the standard on tumblr, but I prefer multi-ship. If you don't like that it's fine just don't judge me about it. (A main ship will be reserved with proper chemistry.)

My private messages are open too, so if that's preferred we can write in there or just chat!

Ooc is labeled with // !!

I go by Swine, my pronouns are he/him. I'm available on discord for roleplay too! I don't automatically respond ic as it's my personal discord, so don't send ic starters and such.

Side blogs are @outofthecellar @whitesnakez & @bigcityroadie

Personal blog is @quiet-riot-breathless

⠀⠀⠀⠀Now onto Jeff!

Set during the release of the album Under Lock And Key (1985), so Jeff has been with Dokken for two years!

Jeff took on the role of bassist for Dokken after Juan Croucier left to join Ratt.

Known for being energetic and he's so sweet he'll give you cavities!

Tries to be the mediator between Don and George but it's difficult with his close friendship with George.

Once got abducted by a hardcore parental censorship group! Thankfully managed to bail without any harm done.

A bit of a nerd, Jeff loves Batman comics, Lord Of The Rings, Star Trek, and other fantasy/sci-fi medias.

Jeff plays bass both with and without a pick.

As an addict, Jeff sometimes suffers from paranoia episodes when under the influence.

Unlabeled! Not really closeted or open about it either. What happens in the back of the bus, stays in the back of the bus!

Super affectionate, no one is safe from hugs whenever he's around! A bit of a clinger, keeps him from bouncing all over the place.

⠀⠀That's all for now folks!

[sabrinaacarpenters]

You seem to have read a lot of books :) can you recommend me something for enemies to lovers? Loved The Hating Game, didn’t finish ACOTAR if that is any help. Also, if you haven’t seen it yet then I can highly recommend the show The Great! Love your blog, bye byeee

hi! i've seen a few episodes of the great, but then my brother cancelled our hbo subscription when i was like 4 episodes in and i just never continued since then lol but i should and definitely plan to because i liked it!

now for the recommendations, i think you would probably like the unhoneymooners by christina lauren! it's admittedly not as explicit as the hating game, but it has the same first singular pov and the characters have great banter. a few others that are worth checking out in my opinion is marriage for one by ella maise (marriage of convience, the guy's super grumpy but there's a big section of the book where he's looking after the heroine when she's sick and it's just *chef's kiss*) and a not so meet cute by meghan quinn (fake dating, once again very grumpy male lead, the main characters clash a lot, but there's also a lot of funny & lighthearted situations as well. it's one of my all-time favorite romances, so i def recommend checking it out) tentatively putting the spanish love deception by elena armas here, because while i personally wasn't a big fan of it, it's loved by a lot of people and it's very similar to the hating game. i think if you download a sample from amazon and don't have an issue with the writing style, you would probably like it.

I know you said you didn't like acotar, but I think enemies to lovers works best in fantasy, so I tried to find books where the plot itself is just as great as the romance. the first three books in the hidden legacy series by ilona andrews follow the same main character and her love interest, who she's forced to team up with for some magical detective work. if you like urban fantasy, it's definitely worth checking out. my go-to favorite ETL fantasy story is probably the bridge kingdom by danielle l jensen - it's true enemies-to-lovers, the main characters are from different kingdoms who are forced into a marriage to form an alliance, but the heroine has been secretly training all her life to kill the hero. i think a lot of times it's promoted as for fans of acotar, fbaa and similar stories but in my opinion that doesn't give the story justice because this duology is way better in terms of word building & plot.

i hope one of these works out for you! i didn't include historicals & new adult because i didn't know if they would be your thing.

[spockandawe]

😍 I’ve been scrolling through your blog all evening, your work is BEAUTIFUL! I had no idea you could make books look so gorgeous. I’ve been interested in book binding for quite a while, but have been intimidated to take the first step. How did you get into it? Did you take classes, or follow something online? Or, do you already have a post where you talk about that? Seeing your work makes it seem so worth it, even if it seems intimidating to tackle 💖💖

Oh my goodness, than you so much!!! Sometimes I feel like I have a long ways to go, but then sometimes I take a step back and say, hey, this IS fairly rad, isn't it!

But I completely know what you mean about the craft seeming intimidating. I am here to tell you that the way it feels too overwhelming to get started is one of the main speed bumps about this craft, including for leveling up while inside it. I've got a number of projects I'm wrestling in terms of intimidation right now, even though I know I've dealt with this before, and what I do is probably going to be just FINE. Books are such, like.... iconic objects, it's hard to look at a fancy one and decide that you can totally do that too. But this is honestly a craft where I have an easier time encouraging beginners than many of my others, and I've got resources for you.

Where I got started!! It was honestly super trivial stuff, my dad doesn't love reading documents on his computer for work, and he showed me how he was printing off booklets and folding them in half and doing a line of stitches down the middle, and I was like '...........SO IF I WANTED TO PRESERVE A WEBNOVEL--' and things WENT from there. I started with what I could scrounge up on google, but there are better options, and a LOT of them, and a thriving ficbinding community which is pretty good (on tumblr at least) about sharing resources with each other.

So, what I'm about to go into here is largely focused on ficbinding and webnovels and other books with CONTENT, I know some people have a great time making blank notebooks, but my mind has always slid off those. If you're intimidated by the steps involved in formatting text for printing, that may be something you enjoy!!

I think I've got a few asks about this in my spock-replies or my bookbinding tag that go over similar information in different form, but this was the first one I tripped across, with my personal rundown of what I would use to get started with a casebound book (which is most of what I've done. If you're intimidated by a full hardcover with a covered spine, then a coptic bound book will provide similar function, with different construction and an open spine, but I still haven't gotten off my ass to do one of those yet, so I don't have resources on hand. I found my footing using Sealemon's videos, not just the one linked but some of the others as well. I tend to make beefy books that aren't suited to decorative binding styles, but I want to try that, someday. But I also have like ten projects in progress and things are kind of oh-god-let-me-off-mr-toad's-wild-ride, so... not yet.

After I got comfortable with Sealemon, I dug into the DAS bookbinding channel, which is a DELIGHT. The guy who runs the channel is incredibly chill and soothing to listen to, and he knows so much and has SUCH an archive of different techniques and styles. I still haven't gotten super adventurous, and honestly this is still a channel where I get intimidated about trying something new, but there's material that's not an intricate four-part series, there's things like doing a pamphlet binding. Other youtube channels with bookbinders tend to be very helpful as well, and some like annesi binding tackle cool topics that can be hard to find elsewhere. Part of the trouble with bookbinding is that a ton of cultures developed similar ideas independently and riffed on them for CENTURIES, so there is unimaginable variety in the creative space. Video works better for me to understand how it goes than written accounts do, but it's a huge space to find a comfortable nest in.

And!! In the middle of all this, i was pointed at @renegadepublishing, which is a community largely focused on ficbinding (but also open to other endeavors as well), and just a lovely place that's been so helpful to me. There are resource documents that I believe are in the sidebar, and I think there's a dreamwidth community as well where I think they've been crossposted. I know some people involved in that community also post on r/bookbinding, though if you're more interested in binding fanfic, there's also an r/ficbinding community that may be more tailored to your passions. I'm delighted that you liked my books, but renegadepublishing regularly reblogs things from other binders that leave me absolutely starry-eyed, and it's fantastic for inspiration as well as education!

Okay, I think that's what I've got for now. That was basically the slippery slide I fell down, where I just desperately wanted to preserve mxtx's books in english, before there was any hint of an official license. That directed me down a path of learning how to make Big Books, and my own attention span drove me to figure out how to do it fast. There was a long youtube spiral while also using the renegade resources to give me a second bonus perspective that helped me understand WHY i was doing certain things. Part of what helped me out is that I have a stubborn thing where 'what do you mean i can't buy X? fine, then i'm going to MAKE X.' and that served me well here. But also, I can't undersell the excitement of holding a book you made from a piece of beloved fanfiction for the first time (no matter how crooked it is!) and opening it, and seeing the words on the page, physically, and shaped like a real book, and that thrill has carried me forward through a year and a half of this nonsense.

[bitchesgetriches]

I've had a dream job for about four years now in a charity. I love what I do, love my boss, colleagues, I develop my skills daily, I get more responsibility, have promotion opportunities, it's 100% from home, and the salary is something I can live on but I’ve recently realised that unless I’m in a senior role I won’t get paid what I want and I’m money motived. Took me a while to admit it but here we are. I’ve asked my boss if we could have a salary talk and she replied in a way that sounded like a raise won’t be happening for a while. I did get a raise a year ago which I appreciated but then I’ve found out I’m among the lowest earners because silly me has never negotiated the offered sum, while I’m doing super star work and I’m very smart:)

So, I've recently spotted a job I am very curious about. It's a for-profit company, but they essentially strive for the same goal which is my personal value as well. But in this new job I'd be developing new skills, meeting more people (it's 50% in the office) and establishing new connections. And it's more money, but might end up the same or less as I might have to move, but because it's for profit, there might be more growth potential in the future. I've been feeling a bit stuck at home, especially with covid, not being able to meet people, and thought it would be a good shake-up opportunity. Plus I may be able to negotiate a relocation package or something if I’m the best candidate. So I applied.

I now feel so guilty and regretting applying already. I feel like I'm cheating on my current organisation, as they've treated me to well, and it's such a good stable job with nothing really wrong with it (apart from the obvious $$). But my ambition to see what else I'm capable of, to develop new skills and increase my earning potential is driving me crazy - I feel that they’re not going to pay me what I want unless I threaten to leave. Also I’ve familiarised myself with your blog and the concept of job hopping to get to a good raise is a sweet one. It seems that I might get “a raise” but it will be a tiny one as it’s new hires that get all the money. I feel that my organisation is using my high value skills and use my age as a reason to pay me a junior level salary.

But at the same time, shouldn’t I give my boss a chance to at least hear my ask? The applications close today, I am quite a strong candidate, but the salary conversation might not happen for a month. Should I stick it out and see how I get get to their top pay level?

My main question is... should we leave comfort of a “perfect role” to pursue our dreams of a bigger and better future? I may need to work in a an office which don’t particularly want, and it may be way out of my comfort zone, but it will offer some connections to some super influential people who might potentially hire me in the future for even more money:)

Thanks so much in advance!

Pookie muffin, we're so glad you got in touch. You're clearly agonizing over this decision, and you're overwhelmed by emotions and options. We're here to help!

First things first: never hesitate to apply for a job. Especially if you already have one. Here's why:

1. Applying for jobs is a SKILL. You need to keep in practice.

2. There's no use worrying about what MIGHT happen. Until you have an actual bite in your job search, leaving your current employer is just a hypothetical. There's no reason to freak out if concrete steps haven't been taken. So until you actually KNOW that leaving your job is a real possibility, don't waste your energy worrying about it.

3. You can always leverage a job offer for a raise or promotion. That said, even if you DO use an offer as leverage... you STILL don't have to take the offer or leave your employer even if they don't give you the raise!

4. It gives you OPTIONS.

All of which is to say: applying for this new job is the right thing to do.

Next--and this is incredibly important--your employer is not your family. You don't owe them anything but that which you're contractually obligated to give. And I guarantee your contract or the terms of your employment do NOT dictate that you feel guilty about leaving or beholden to them in any way.

Job hopping is a perfectly normal part of any career! You're not committing treason by leaving a company. They'll be fine! And look at it this way: by vacating your position, you're giving another young nonprofit worker a chance to advance.

Lastly, you say you'd feel guilty about leaving because they've treated you "so well." But, uh... no they haven't. Read your own words. They take you for granted. They don't give you the time and respect you deserve. Your boss is making you wait a month to discuss your future! This is all the proof I need that you can be completely absolved of guilt.

I hope that all makes you feel better. Here's your homework: read the following articles with a nice snack and a beverage and STOP FEELING GUILTY:

Job Hopping vs. Career Loyalty by the Numbers

The Fascinating Results of Our Job Hopping vs. Career Loyalty Poll

I Hate My Job and I Don't Know How To Leave It: A Confession

[th3-z0diac]

How I Make Aesthetics.

Long post ahead, sorry :(

In the past, I've been asked multiple times how I create my aesthetics and where do I get the best pictures for them, so I figured I'd make this master post of what exactly I do. Btw this is coming from a person who has studied graphic design for 4 years and had about 4 years of experience in making zodiac collages here on tumblr. Do what you want with that information.

A few disclaimers

There are different types of aesthetics and in this post, I'm going to be specifically talking about a certain type that I like to make. Here, examples:

My most used format is 6 pictures in 3 rows, but I've also tried 4 pictures, like here for example:

There are other types such as minimalistic photos, dark academia, grunge, and SO many more. Please keep in mind that I'm not hating on these types and when I mention a rule such as don't use photos that are too minimalistic, I am not saying that minimalistic aesthetics are wrong or ugly or anything of that sort!

Just because I don't choose a certain photo doesn't mean I don't like it, it just means that the photo is not exactly what I'm looking for. By me showing you the examples below, I'm just trying to paint a picture. No hate here, okay?

I don't own any of the pictures I use (I've only used like one or two of my own photos in the past) but then again this is just for entertainment, I don't make money doing this or anything. If I ever get a message from an owner of any of these photos and they want me to delete it, I will delete it.

Where to get the photos

Pinterest! Period. AHAHAHA

No but seriously, pinterest and tumblr are my two favorite sources and you will find pretty much exactly what you need there. pinterest specifically.

On tumblr, I usually search for hipster, grunge, indie, and nature, but it also helps to just find specific blogs that focus on photography, follow them and then just download anything from your dashboard that you fancy.

I'll share what I search for on pinterest below👇. My secret tip would be to not always go for the first photo you find but rather to open a picture that sorta has what you like in it and then scroll down, because pinterest is going to recommend you similar, sometimes better fitting photos. On tumblr, I sometimes go to the blog of the person whose one photo I like, and there I tend to find many more of the same kind (since these bloggers usually post a specific kind of aesthetic).

How to choose photos

My number one tip would be to seek texture. Avoid photos that have little going on in them and anything too empty or minimalistic (unless that's what you're aiming for, obviously). Also, don't choose pictures that are very light or very dark, as they tend to stand out in aesthetics and that's not really what you want. At least in the type of aesthetics that I make, I want the final product to be almost a new picture in itself if that makes sense. To show you an example, look at this photo of two sleeping cats:

This photo seems like a good fit; it is well balanced in colours (there are shades of white, beige/ginger as well as some greens) and c'mon, it's two cats, what more do you need!!! However, let's look at it in a complete aesthetic:

While this aesthetic has a nice color scheme to it (well, it doesn't, I threw it together super quickly, but you get the gist), the photo of the two cats just stands out because the khaki background creates this kind of block of color that your eye will automatically go to and it sort of breaks the collage apart. So, by texture, I mean that a picture is filled, for example with trees, flowers, architecture, little people in the background, etc., etc. Furthermore, I prefer when there are more things photographed (for instance, look at the first picture of the aesthetic above; it has a mirror (and a tiny person in it), architecture and leaves all in one picture)

Next, personality. Go to Google Images and search 'Nature Photography' or 'Sunset Photos'. You might get something like this:

Or this:

Look at this absolute angel of a boy💚💚💚💚💚💚Isn't he the cutest freaking thing you've ever seen?????? I just want to give him all the treats and all the pets and — ...ehm, sorry, that's not why we're here.

So I don't quite know how to explain this point, but I guess usually professional photos like this are just so well done that they work perfectly well on their own and you usually don't put them in a set (only with other photos from the same photoshoot maybe). They're obviously well-balanced color-wise and high in quality, but they're just very individual and don't really need any addition in the form of other photos. This point also applies to the previous one (textures, in case you forgot); for example, a bunch of blueberries creates a nice texture, however it might be difficult to pair them with other photos. They have enough personality on their own (and this is not meant in a bad way to the photos I do use).

Related to this, you're looking for a story. Usually, if a photo gives off a certain vibe, tells a story, or just leaves any kind of strong impression, it might be a good indication that this is a good photo to use (given all the other rules as well, of course).

The main themes I search for are:

cities, villages, or abandoned places

related to that — architecture or only parts (details) of it

nature, specifically forests with either road or a body of water nearby, beaches, deserts and so on. plus points for tiny people in the distance

animals, usually with the addition of maybe the texture of a sweater sleeve or some blankets, something of that sort

people, my favorite kind is people turned away from the camera with an interesting background, because by them not having a face, they become a bit more relatable in a sense?

people in a river or some kind of water

museums, sculptures

etc.

Usually, I tend to avoid:

photos with text in it (though as an exception I would mention neon signs or letters/words that are for example above shops, on books, etc.)

heavily filtered pictures

photos with very specific (often bold) colors in them, unless you find multiple photos with that same shade. this again distracts the eye too much

GIFs, animated pictures, illustrations/drawings. also, don't use collages (cause you are creating a collage, duh)

black & white pictures

blurred pictures (or those that are purposely grainy — that goes back to the filters above)

anything obviously photoshopped

When trying to figure out where to put each photo

Squint your eyes. The photos should create a nice harmony, there shouldn't be a corner where it gets too light or dark or where some textures blend together, for example, if using multiple flower patterns, try to place them in different corners.

When to know your aesthetic is done

Actually even before you start, you should be in the mood. I have to admit, there have been times where I've felt pressured into making aesthetics, and now, looking back at them, I'm really ashamed of them. That is why I don't always post aesthetics as soon as I get them requested because I genuinely want them to look good.

Sometimes, it helps to not post the aesthetic straight away but to come back to it later with a fresh look. I'd say go with your gut. You should have a good, satisfying feeling about the aesthetic.

Last note

Rules are meant to be broken. Look at the aesthetic below. I used a minimalistic illustration (two birds with one stone I guess) (and admittedly, that one picture does stand out) and yet the aesthetic still came out pretty nice. So, just play around with your ideas and see what you like the most! I'm just a random person on the internet, you literally don't have to listen to any of the tips I gave you here today.

I know this might seem like a lot (honestly, if you've read this entire thing, you're crazy), but it gets easier and easier with practice, soon you won't even think about it.

Hopefully these tips will help you and please let me know if you decide to make any aesthetics. I would love to see them!! <3

[magnificent-nerd]

Why Naqib in The Boys sucked

Image description: fictional character Naqib in Amazon Prime’s show The Boys.

(Is the fire in the background an excuse to use racist Yellow Filter to show how exotic he is? Hmm.)

I first posted this on my blog in Dec 2020, and since nothing in superhero media has changed for the better at this time (September 5th, 2021), I’m going to keep talking about it.

Because nobody else does. So, without further ado:

WHY NAQIB SUCKS.

I was a big fan of The Boys season 1; I love superheroes, I love deconstructing a genre. Sure, it has its problems, but overall I enjoyed season 1 and thought the show had potential.

(That’ll learn me for being hopeful!)

When season 1 ended with this big build up of mostly nameless brown and background characters as Muslim terrorists (deep sigh) we the audience are left thinking this one Muslim character (Naqib) whose superpower is to blow himself up repeatedly (insert another long deep sigh here) is going to be The Big Bad of season 2.

I had my misgivings about that direction. Firstly, as you can see from the image of Naqib, he is highly exoticised and is walking around bare chested with Arabic writing on his chest. He looks more like a generic western media depiction of a genie than he does a supervillain. 

And yet he's the first prominent Muslim character in superhero media I've seen in YEARS.

-

(See my post about MENA and Muslim character good guys, including Joe played by Marwan Kenzari in The Old Guard, which is technically a comic book movie but it’s not what I’d call ‘caped and costumed’ superheroes so it’s more... superhero adjacent.)

I follow superhero content closely and as far as I'm aware the last time we saw any named Muslim characters in superhero movies WITH SPEAKING LINES was:

Instance 1) Iron Man 1 back in 2008 with The Ten Rings in Afghanistan, showing multiple Muslim characters as baddies/terrorists, but only two of them as a named character and with any meaningful lines to say. And despite one of them, Yinsen (actor Shaun Toub), being a good guy he still dies! Which is common in western media for Muslim and MENA characters.

Note: Fellow Iron Man 1 castmate, actor Sayed Badreya, makes an important point in this GQ article: "I die in Iron Man, I die in Executive Decision. I get shot by everyone. George Clooney kills me in Three Kings. Arnold blows me up in True Lies…" (x)

Instance 2) A more recent instalment in Batman V. Superman in 2016, with some unnamed 'General' character and mercenaries/terrorists in Nairomi, Africa, referred to only as "the desert" throughout the movie. All reference to the General's actual name are available in an extended/deleted scene only, so a very poor and vague depiction in the final cut.

Instance 3) The generic and badly written ‘bad guys’ in Wonder Woman 1984 (2020 movie), which was honestly such a racist depiction of Arabs and Muslims that many critics pointed out we hadn’t seen a depiction this terrible since 1994′s True Lies. (At least most critics were in agreement that WW84 movie was generally terrible, so there’s that.)

And that's it, those are the only major instances showing any Muslim actors or characters in a caped and costumed superhero movie. 

Some other fleeting glimpses of Muslims onscreen:

Glimpse 1) I spotted a girl wearing a hijab among the nameless and unspeaking background characters of Peter Parker's class in Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019). A first for Marvel movies, apparently.

Glimpse 2) Disney Plus show Falcon and Winter Soldier (2021) had two nameless Muslim characters walk by in a scene that’s supposed to be Tunisia (using Yellow Filter), and ‘thank’ the present American Air Force (eye-roll).

Glimpse 3) Netflix show Jupiter’s Legacy (2021) had a nameless Muslim sailor conversing with one of the main characters in a scene, with meaningful dialogue about racism. (WOW. Really good.) Bonus: no yellow filter. It’s a pity he’s a nameless background character because this brief instance is the least problematic MENA rep I’ve seen in ages, but it is very brief.

I just wrote about Glimpses 2 and 3, and how the Netflix show outdid Disney when it comes to these nameless walk-on Muslim characters.

This is pretty pathetic overall, these small crumbs, especially compared to better rep and probably the only instance of legit MENA superheroes in a ‘costumes and capes’ style superhero show, the Tarazi siblings on DC’s Legends of Tomorrow.

-

Anyway, now I’ve listed what crumbs are available across the live action superhero genre, back to The Boys.

I was intrigued about how season 2 would handle Naqib and any characters relating to him, and what storyline they'd use. 

Was I excited at the possibility of seeing Muslim supers onscreen? Damn straight I was. Did I mind that they were baddies? Well, yes and no. When you only ever get crumbs or no crumbs at all, you tend to get excited over one stale old crumb.

After the build up for season 2, I eagerly sat down to watch the first episode, only to have the first five minutes of episode 1 Trigon him.

Note: who's Trigon, you ask? Well if you didn't watch the DCEU's Titans show, Trigon was The Big Bad who was hyped up throughout season 1, introduced in the season 1 cliff-hanger episode as this big 'oh shit!' moment for the cast of heroes, only for him to fizzle out like a wet fart in the first episode of season 2 while the show pivots wildly in another direction. 

Exactly what happened to Naqib in the first five minutes of The Boys season 2.

Erm, so, Naqib. Farewell, I guess? As a character you briefly appeared in 2 episodes, portrayed by a different actor in each (Krishan Dutt, and Samer Salem). It seems the writers used you as a plot device when they needed a cheap cliff-hanger for a direction that ultimately went nowhere.

Am I disappointed? Yeah, I am. Overall I thought season 2 of The Boys was weaker than season 1, but I'm not here to talk about the whole season: I want to talk about Naqib and this missed opportunity.

The Boys and its showrunners sell the show as being a satire of recent and well known superhero content, of all the big movies and TV shows. There's been a lot of patting themselves on the back for calling out overused tropes in superhero media (and sometimes they've done this satire well: see the LGBT marketing scene with Queen Maeve in season 2), but my issue with the show on their Muslim rep, or should I say lack thereof, is if your show has even less Muslim character rep than the content you're trying to parody, how is this a win for satire?

Naqib and that whole angle came across as a lazy, half-assed swing from the writer's room. Sure, perhaps a lot of the non-Muslim and non-MENA audience won't even notice, as we've been ignored by western media or made into nameless, generic, vacuous baddies for decades now. Non-Muslims and non-MENA just accept that we're always the baddies for no particular reason at all (which feeds into Islamophobia, by the way) and The Boys' writers could say they are simply satirising the tropes already present in media...

But, and this is a big but, the media that The Boys is satirising has already made a step toward better inclusion and representation: Ms. Marvel (Kamala Khan), Marvel comics' first Muslim superhero, is entering the MCU as a lead character in her own Disney Plus show, debuting in 2022. 

Ms. Marvel/Kamala Khan is also cited to appear in upcoming Captain Marvel sequel, The Marvels (2022), which will be a major movie.

The MCU has also cast a Muslim actor (Mahershala Ali) as the lead in a reboot of Blade. That's going to be big news when it starts filming.

So to the showrunners on The Boys, I say this: now you've done this small angle of 'all Muslim characters are terrorists, yuckity-yuck!' like we've seen in major superhero movies thus far, and you've brushed that aside in favor of focusing on other whiter villains, my question is will you come back to Muslim and MENA characters again? Or is that all you got?

Because if that was ALL, then the current score is Disney/MCU:02, Netflix:02, DCEU:02, and The Boys: a big ZERO as far as Muslim and MENA rep goes.

-

Originally posted on my blog, magnificently nerdy.

If you, like me, are always on the lookout for onscreen Muslim and MENA characters in superhero media, and have spotted any characters in superhero TV shows I haven’t watched yet, let me know about them!

Here is my post on good guys, featuring Old Guard’s Joe, and Blindspot’s Rich Dotcom.

Here’s my post about the Tarazi siblings on DC’s Legends of Tomorrow TV show.

And, if Marvels’ Eternals gets released on schedule for 2021, we will have a MENA actor portraying a supporting character. I just hope Marvel gives him a name.

[crayonurchin]

Heyo! You seem to have a lot of characters and I'm super curious about them. Tell me about your urchins, if you want to!

Oh homie if you want to know about my urchins you'll be here A WHILE

LIGHTNING ROUND:

Cammie: a 12 year old runaway boy with dreams of being a painter, trying to survive the struggles of a big bad world after a childhood full of overprotective sheltering. Originally the main character of my MLP ask blog, now a human

Urchin Quest crew: 5 characters from my webcomic Urchin Quest, Sweeper the bird girl, Urchin the human, Ragamuffin the dog boy, Scallywag the fish girl and Waif the fairy boy. Each a different personality all working together to live on the outskirts of Melding City

Solo Act: not TECHNICALLY an urchin but still itinerant. A very young parent who was sold to the circus at 4, then abducted by an abusive woman at 10- followed by running away with the resulting baby at 13 and having been on the run since. They're running from trauma and their past, while also finding delight in being 'free' for the first time and getting into adventures with new friends. Their story is pretty damn dark but will always end well for them

Margo and Ideal: two d&d characters I play, tiefling brothers on the permanent run from a cult that want to use Margo to open a portal to the Illithid rhelm. One's a rogue that stabs people instead of talking about his feelings, the other is a sorcerer that can't stop wanting to talk to people instead of run

Alicarth: brat ankle-biter born and orphaned in Rats' Nest, started working for a piece of shit thug very young as a message carrier- and is suddenly shown the way of a bard at 18. Is flooded with the realisation that life can be more than this and uses gifted money to leap into the world of bardic college. It's both very angsty and very wholesome. College does to him what it does to many of us- leaves him using he/they :>

Very quick rundown of other, lesser spoken about urchins.

Kitten and Kai: alien and young adult experiment partially with their dna mixed being unleashed onto New York- remnants from a Ninja Turtle OC list

Oralee: Foster home runaway in New York, accidentally befriends abused child and convinces them to run away- now there's TWO kids on New York streets. More Ninja Turtles.

Solo Acts' siblings: 10 kids to 2 very neglectful parents, eldest two trying to raise them all in a camper van, eventually getting everyone into various degrees of external care. Main ones are Sunset and Tiger, eldest siblings and Breeze, Solo Acts' twin who was adopted by elderly social workers

Many other unseen Urchin Quest kids: guys, the comic is called URCHIN QUEST. There's going to be a lot of urchins.

Misty Twisty: Changeling dnd character- literal revolutionist but very much an urchin

And I assure you there are MANY MANY more that I'm currently blanking on but know exist. I read Oliver Twist and saw Lord of the Flies at a very young age and it had a major impact. I've always loved 'scrappy outsider' stories and remember obsessively writing my own versions of it in sparkly books as early as 8.

I am

And always will be

The Urchin Princess

[sparklinpixiedust]

Basic Training

This post has been sitting in my drafts for months now, during which I've come up with a few ways I wanted to write this post. This is what I've come up with.

Basic Training is the episode which made me hate Ben the most. The whole episode consisted him of being a stuck up brat only to be rewarded for it in the end.

This episode was the perfect opportunity to have Kevin in the spotlight and show how skilled and smart he is.

Gwen's presence in this episode was actually fine, there's no change needed for that.

Look, I know the shows named Ben 10 but we have seen Ben be the hero tons of times already.

And Ben being egoistic about his heroism is not something new in the franchise.

There have been episodes on the OS where Ben got a big head, yet I dont ever see anyone complaining about that.

Was is it because he was 10 that we excuse this behaviour? Nope.

15 - 16 is still pretty young and his attitude can be excused at this age as well.

My opinion? It was handled better in the OS.

There were times when Ben wasn't always the main focus.

In Lucky Girl, Ben has his ' who's your hero?' Moment.

They showed Gwen feeling jealous and hurt by the fact she wasn't noticed much.

It was realistic.

Then the epsiode proceeded to focus on Gwen , having Ben being kind of like a sub plot to the story.

Towards the end Ben compliments her.

So yeah Ben got big head, but at the same time they shifted focus so that the audience wouldn't find it annoying.

Gwen was in the spotlight for a bit, giving people a break from Ben.

Secondly  , in Be Afraid Of The Dark, Ben again is shown to be slightly stuck up, but towards the end of that episode he learns and acknowledges Gwen and Grandpa for help and understands his crime fighting is more of a team effort.

In Galactic Enforcers, we are shown there are other heros besides Ben as well.

Ben wasn't the sole focus of that episode. Yes it was about him but also about the Galactic Enforcers.

I don't think he was shown to be over confident here , but it was nice to see some other heros in the scene.

The Ben 10,000 episode focuses on how Ben was too focused on his job and the lesson at that was Ben needed to relax and have them Galactic Enforcers take the lead instead.

Again , his attitude towards everything was brought in focus but towards the end he learnt something.

I recently started watching Generator Rex and I can't help but compare Rex's character to Ben's.

Rex is also proud , rushes into things and considers himself to be a hotshot. But they also show him being down ,having trouble with his nanites and actually voice out his insecurities.

He's still the hero, still has things go his way most times but it's not annoying like Ben.

( I've only seen like 7 episodes so far so I don't know if this going to go down hil or not but so far so good)

The issue with the sequels after the OS was that Ben was the focus a bit too much.

We as the audience were rarely ever given a break from him.

Other than a few conversations here and there about his attitude,  nothing really was done about it.

Gwen should've been appreciated more for saving Kevin and Kevin should've been appreciated for stopping Aggregor.

But they weren't.

If it had been Ben , they would've made sure to show him getting some sort of recognition or trophy.

Back to the Basic Training episode.

We know he's the legendary Ben Tennyson, we know he's a hero. We didn't need another episode on it.

Instead the plot should've focused on Kevin. His skills, his abilities.

Ben would act the same but Magsiter Hulka should've put some sort of cover so Ben couldn't use the omnitrix.

Ben goes on breaking rules,  and having a hard time being a hero without the watch.

Towards the end, it should've been Kevin who cracks the case and saves Hulka. Ben is mad he can't use the omnitrix but instead uses the guns and other weapons he's learnt to use at the academy

He's not amazing at them , but it makes him realise that he is hero , watch or not, something that has been emphasised in the show. Its not impossible for him to function without the watch.

Towards the end, Ben getting a 95 was a stretch. I'm sorry , but the guy wasn't great with using weapons and without the watch I dont think he would've been able to complete that hostage excercise.

I'm thinking more like 89%.

Gwen gets 98, that's fine and Kevin gets a 100.

Hulka comes in and awards the medal (?) to Kevin, suggesting he's becoming more like his father.

( im ignoring the ret con, plus the retcon I'm assuming wasnt thought off at this point by the writers)

Ben is shown to take one of the guns back to earth, because he thinks they're cool and he wants to practice and get better at them.

The whole hostage situation makes him want to get better at making strategies.

Yes he's good at improv, but he needs to learn to properly plan as well.

It doesn't matter if he's never shown to use the gun ever again, and he's back to relying on the omnitrix.

Or maybe some time down the line, he could use the weapon, even if it for a second, to show that he is improving and getting better.

Before you say 'he's already a hero, he doesn't need to learn anything ' sorry but no.

He's 16. He may have saved the world but he still has growing up to do. Different battles are going to arise all the time.

Saying he is perfect at 16 is dumb. Saying he's perfect when he's ben 10k , it'll make some sense. He's been around for a while and is pretty experienced.

The watch is a part of him, but seeing him try to explore other options would've been a fresher idea.

Another scene that made me mad was the court (?) scene in Vreedle, Vreedle.

Ben being a hero shouldn't make him above the law.

Domstol ruling in favor of Ben just because he's the legendry Ben Tennyson was stupid.

After Ben's little monologue , and destroying Domstols desk, the judge should've just informed him that being a hero does not excuse him from following the law.

Kevin could've had his little moment doing some negotiation ( would've been nice to see how he works as con artist) and Ben could've jumped in and helped while making some good points for the argument, showing us he's not stupid.

Then having Domstol rule in their favor would've made sense.

On the way back to earth there could've been a joke about how Ben watches Judge Judy too much which is where he learnt about trials and stuff. Or maybe Gwens dad taught him a thing or two at some point.

All this doesn't mess with Ben's character all that much, he's still the hero of the show, he still has his ego but it makes him more likeable, shifts focus from his attitude, and shows us he's pretty smart and is growing into a good hero.

Ben's not a bad guy. I mean he is the hero of the show. There are tons of scenes which show he's good , like the whole sacrificing thing so the ultimates could live and all.

But little scenes here and there tend to be enough for someone , especially for someone who isn't a super hard-core Ben lover to form negative opinions on him.

Although calling him a psychopath / narc is out of line because I don't find him to be like that. His attitude was magnified by him being in the spotlight too much and writers not having a good balance in writing situations.

Ben being the main character of the show is at risk of becoming hated or less appreciated just because he's the font runner of the show.

Admit it, side characters tend to get more love most times than the main agonist of shows.

I've been watching videos on YouTube on this topic as to why this happens , and what I've come up with is that writers of shows tend to focus too much on main character. Things seem to go their way most times and this tends to get on peoples nerves, consciously or subconsciously because it's not exactly realistic.

Having shows where everything focuses on one person most times tend to backfire.

I don't mind Ben having a big head, I dont mind him making jokes and being so casual.

It's his defense mechanism to protect himself from drowning into the struggles and pressures of being a hero. But always having him be that way isn't good.

The writers should've executed it properly.

( okay this post got really long,  more than I thought it would. If you're read the whole things , congratulations on making it here lol.

I'm not going to stop anyone from replying to this because everyone has different opinions and we all have the freedom to express them.

Although I believe I've made my point and I've made sure to keep in mind all the arguments about why bashing Ben is wrong when he's not a bad guy while typing this out.

I don't think I've directed any major hate towards him , its mostly towards the writers for making the situations like that,but if you think I have you can reply to it.

I'm not gonna reply back though , because again I feel I've made my point.

Any agreements / disagreements you have with the post feel free to share because it is your right.

Any disagreements you have with other members,  as long as its related to the post you can share it.

Any issues you have personally with other members,  please keep them to your selves.

I will not tolerate bullying , harassing,  name calling and petty arguments on my post and blog page.

If this happens I will simply delete this post and re-upload it.)

[yaz-the-spaz]

I'm sure you've noticed me stalking your blog these past two days lol and I have another question if you dont mind. In my last ask you said you had some theories about zayn leaving ot4vszayn etc and I was wondering if you would expand upon them? If you dont want to write it all out, you can point me towards certain tags or other blogs if you want. I've been looking through your tags and have found a lot but I wanted to know if there is something that might be more like a timeline of sorts? Thx!!

hey there! here i finally am, so sorry to have kept you waiting but i hope this reply finds you well! :) 

now onto your questions…

so as far as a timelines @bakagamieru has some really good masterposts (x, x) that i would recommend checking out that really break things down play-by-play and i think most of which was compiled as it was happening so it’s a super great (and super detailed) documentation of all the shit that was going down during that period and all the narrative inconsistencies and stunts and back and forth, etc. they’re quite long though and, like i said, very detailed so i would recommend making sure you have plenty of time on your hands before you get sucked down a masterpost and link rabbit hole lol

and for more thoughts/theories of mine i would say check my zayn vs. ot4 tags (x, x - sorry there’s multiple iterations of this, apparently sometimes i had put a period after vs and sometimes i didn’t and now i have two tags smh at my own damn irritating inconsistency)

now onto the meat of your question, which is my current theories on zayn leaving/the zayn vs. ot4 narrative which i’m gonna put as a read more cause i’m not in the mood for ppl coming for me if they disagree, so read at your own risk folks…

so over the years there’s four main theories that i’ve personally gone back and forth over, which i’m gonna summarize quickly and try and explain as succinctly as i can my thoughts on each one and my opinion on the likelihood of it holding credence

disclaimer before i get into the explanations - a large part of my reasoning has to do with the caveat of there possibly being any kind of real tension or bad blood between zayn and louis in particular or any of the other boys. not saying that it was necessarily actually the case, just that it was a potential factor that went into my rationale and personal mental debate over the whole situation

he was coerced in some shape or form to leave and instead of fighting it, went along with it (maybe b/c he was already unhappy) - if there ever was actually any real animosity between him and louis (or harry/niall), this could explain why louis (or the others) might have hypothetically been mad at him b/c he might have felt that zayn could’ve/didn’t fight hard enough or went along with it too easily. but all that aside, even if there was no tension between him and louis/the boys, this option makes a lot of sense because given all he talked about going through in the band (depression, the e.d., too much pressure, not having control or being able to do what he wanted, the intense and rampant closeting putting a strain on his relationship, etc.) it’s not hard to see how he might’ve felt this was the best and only option

he was coerced into leaving, tried to fight it but couldn’t (and possibly even knew for a while that it was coming) - this wouldn’t explain why louis (or the others) might have hypothetically been mad at him but instead does put more credence into the fact that that was completely contrived and pushed by mgmt, and is also just as likely as #1 to me for pretty much the same reasons, not to mention it explains some shady things that happened in the months leading up to it re him not being there for certain promo obligations and appearances, etc.

he was coerced into leaving and had absolutely no choice about it and no way to fight it (i.e. didn’t necessarily want to leave but still knew for a while that it was coming) - pretty much same reasoning as above for this one, the only difference being that in this scenario he wouldn’t have wanted to leave at all which given all he went through i just don’t know if i believe that was wholly the case (more on this below) 

he chose to leave completely on his own - although it would explain any lingering animosity, this to me is the least likely in large part because i just have a hard time believing he would have chosen all on his own to just up and leave in the middle of a tour, not to mention been allowed to (esp given that they would’ve all known they had the hiatus coming up not long after and were about to go the countries where zayn specifically probably have had the biggest following/fan support - the middle east and north africa). but even if he hypothetically really did choose it all on its own it’s hard for me to believe that he would have even been able to leave like that unless there was some element of complacency from their mgmt that allowed it to happen and then you have to wonder why would they just let 1/5 of their biggest money maker walk away with no law suits, no drama, no nothing. it stinks of a larger plan at play which is what brings me back to the theories above. 

those are the main theories that i’ve gone back and forth on and i’ve never really been able to settle on just one, but to me given all that he expressed after leaving the most likely are the first two. i think all of the boys were pretty much done with how they were being treated, but zayn especially so, and it’s very easy for me to see how, when the opportunity arose he might have accepted because he felt it was the best way to save himself (as in his mental and physical health) and possibly also his relationship, though whether that acceptance was with a little (theory #1) or lot (theory #2) of initial opposition on his part, who’s to say. however, i definitely believe that, regardless of the details, there was some element of seeding and/or coercion from tptb, esp when considered in context with the shadiness of certain things, like him not being at certain events that he should’ve legally been obligated to be at in the months leading up to his leaving if no one but him knew he was planning on leaving. or him crying at the last concert that he performed at. those do not seem to be like the actions of a man who wanted to leave completely of his own accord and without any degree of finessing by mgmt to orchestrate it. when you’re a mega popstar in the biggest band in the world you don’t just not show up to something. that’s the type of situation where people will literally come to your house and drag you out of bed because you’re costing them a shit ton of money (like millions of dollars worth of money) by not being there. there’s tons of stories of rock stars where managers or someone from their team would literally go bang down a missing band member’s door, shove them in the shower to sober them up or help them whatever they needed to do, and drag their ass on stage to perform or to a press event or whatever. so you can bet that nothing less, if not the same, would be done for a missing member of a multi-billion-dollar-making band if need be. 

so yeah zayn just not showing up for promo events and performances in the months leading up to his leaving? not believable to me at all. the only conceivable reason for him not to have been there is if mgmt didn’t want him there and the only reason (at least that i can think of) for why you wouldn’t 1/5 of your biggest money-maker to be somewhere he should have been legally obligated to be (and that might’ve cost you hundreds of thousands of dollars for him not to be) is if he wasn’t legally obligated to be there because you were already in the process of phasing him out. ergo it was very likely planned. months in advance. and if it was planned months in advance with the help and orchestration of mgmt then that story of him just deciding to up and leave is complete bs and makes it even more likely to me that there was a level of coercion (because again if 1/5 of your biggest money maker suddenly says to you ‘i wanna leave’ you’re gonna do everything in your power to make him stay so you can keep making money, not help phase him out. unless of course you want him out, which they clearly did.)

one last thing i wanna add is a link to a post i had saved that i feel adds a bit of further credence to all this, it’s nothing concrete but it’s something that helped solidify some things for me when i was a giant ball of confusion over what to believe

anyway, i know that i rambled on forever and this definitely did not end up being as succinct or brief as i had hoped (though lbr when is anything i do ever), but i hope this at least sort of answered your questions and made some amount of sense/was not too incoherent and didn’t completely bore you to death lol

[cs-discourse]

here we go

https://cs-discourse.tumblr.com/post/179953845684/uuuuwuu-every1-whos-concerned-abt-biased-judging

ok this attitude has been pissing me off long enough that it's time for one of my Big Ole Posts (tm) about how shitty this is! thanks. 

uuuuwuu every1 whos concerned abt biased judging in comps is just soooow entitled !!!1 i cant bewieve ppl wouldnt want some1 whos literally explicitly stating at this point that they trust their friends more to "demonstrate dedication to the character" they assign to a design to b an influence in judging comps !!!!!11 bc artists Never weigh in on other artist's comps, so obviously thes ppl just want fwee merc designs !!!1!!1 also my last braincell just died pleas h

so here's the og post in question for quick reference

i honestly have no idea why people keep bringing up this idea of bias in judging competitions because, while i do think there is a type of bias that certainly exists, i think a lot of so-called "bias" that people have is ... not whatsoever like what people think it is lol. artists are people and there's always going to be SOME kind of bias no matter what you do, because it's literally fuckin impossible to NOT be biased. by that i mean:

your taste in plots/types of characters/medias influence your judging

quality of writing or art can influence your judging

the person who's applying for the adopt you may have previous judgement about

even if you say you aren't biased, you STILL have preferences and tastes in things that you prefer more than others, which in of itself is a kind of bias

people who know you (friends for example) will naturally know what your taste is. 

a competition is judged based on what form the artist thinks is best, right? 

NEWSFLASH EVERYONE'S IDEA OF "WHAT'S BEST" IS DIFFERENT FROM PERSON TO PERSON ..... "BEST" is literally the most subjective thing there is, and while i agree that there are certain aspects of art and writing that you can use as objective measurements of tangible skill, it's... still subjective. what people think is "best" will vary from person to person because we all have different tastes. so, essentially, this boils down to the idea that the winner of an adopt competition will ALWAYS be the form the artist liked best, because that is what the artist perceives as best. so like. when people appear biased in adopt competitions towards friends or certain circles, it's probably because they're literally friends because they have similar tastes in things, and therefore the form the artist likes best is naturally going to be from someone who shares similar tastes. 

so whenever i hear about """bias""" in competitions i just kind of roll my eyes tbqh because it's usually followed by complaints of "BUT I PUT IN SO MUCH EFFORT" or "I WROTE SO MUCH MORE THAN THE WINNER" uhhhh. if adopt contests were won by effort alone it wouldn't be a contest, it'd be an endurance test lol. literally just "who has the most time to waste writing out 60000k words of absolute meaningless fluff"... because, i hate to break it to you, but ANYONE can write 5000 words of mindless drivel that has literally no substance to it. 

now in caps for emphasis. takes a deep breath

THERE IS NO SKILL NEEDED TO BLOAT YOUR WORD COUNT. 

YOU DO NOT NEED TO KNOW HOW TO WRITE WELL TO WRITE 5000 WORDS.

YOU JUST NEED TO KNOW HOW TO TYPE AND PUT SENTENCES TOGETHER.

quality > quantity, always. like, i'm sorry you put in so many hours of effort but, those people who win with MUCH smaller wordcounts... did they not work to get as good as they did with writing? you put in 5 hours into one tryout. but others, take me for example: i have been writing for over 10 bloody years. i've worked hard to improve my writing, so you can't tell me i "didn't put in as much effort" as you because i did. i put in YEARS of work to get better so doing simple things would take me LESS time now. inb4 IT'S UNFAIR! dude, the literal definition of a contest is for the best to win. it wouldn't be a contest if it wasn't like that lol. it'd just be charity. what you should be doing instead of complaining about it is ASKING FOR CRIT and WORKING TO IMPROVE like a good sport? i get that it's discouraging but you should be prepared to lose when you join a contest. it's valid to be upset about but the moment you say you deserve it more than others JUST because of your effort, then i have a problem. 

and you know, there's gonna be times where i think a comp winner is objectively less skilled than other tryouts. honestly i just kind of shrug that off on account of different taste lol. sometimes that's just how it be, bc of those predetermined biases i mentioned before, and maybe a judge and i are just in completely stages of life so what i call quality might not appeal to the judge. that's also fine. anyway this really got off on a tangent but i'm leaving it in bc i think it needs saying. back to the og post

 > i cant bewieve ppl wouldnt want some1 whos literally explicitly stating at this point that they trust their friends more to "demonstrate dedication to the character" they assign to a design to b an influence in judging comps !!!!!11

wtf didn't i address this in a different post

here let me link it for you

https://cs-discourse.tumblr.com/post/179841459154/post179838988303-the-difference-is-that-you-have

which was replying to this: https://cs-discourse.tumblr.com/post/179838988303/179837734509-idk-anon-i-kinda-agree-with-the

i said it once but i'll say it again: artist entries aren't main adopts lol. people don't work for artist entries. all you fucking do is post on one like "can i have this pls" .. there is... no effort put into that lol. main adopts you WORK for. it's a CONTEST. claiming an artist entry is NOT a contest. if a bunch of little nasty gremlins come running up to me like a hungry horde trying to be the first one to claim my design, i think giving friends first pick is COMPLETELY FINE, BECAUSE WHAT DID ANYONE ELSE DO TO "DESERVE" THAT DESIGN? nothing. you did. nothing. you're literally coming here with this attitude that NOT GIVING THINGS AWAY TO STRANGERS FOR FREE SOMEHOW EQUALS BIAS? i literally do not understand your logic whatsoever. like. i'm trying really fucking hard. at least with main adopts the "payment" is the effort you put in trying to answer the artist's prompt. i know i sound super dumb repeating myself but i don't know how much simpler i can make this concept tbh

and this is EXACTLY why i say ya'll are fucking entitled because merc and any of the kal artists could be making REAL $$$$ selling their own designs and adoptables and art and NOT deal with all the bs ya'll throw at them. they're literally here because the ENJOY MAKING ((( FREE ))) CONTENT for you, and they're not obligated to do this. they can stop whenever they want. if you had to pay per hour for the length of time collectively worked by ANY species artist staff, the lot of you would be fucking broke. i'm actually constantly shocked that species artists work like, 8 hours or more on some of these gorgeous designs just to give them away for free in a contest. 

so, yeah, as someone who hasn't spent my entire life on CS (i've only been here for a year and a half), ya'll seem pretty fucking entitled to me lol. the world outside CS rarely gives out such gorgeous designs in write-to-adopt contests so i'm honestly baffled at the amount of bloody entitlement i see

>bc artists Never weigh in on other artist's comps, so obviously thes ppl just want fwee merc designs !!!1!!1 

this part i don't actually understand what you mean. do you mean they... help judge other comps? or like, enter them? i don't get what you mean by "weigh in" but listen, lol. just because something DOES happen doesn't mean it gives you a good reason to assume the worst. i mean... of course it happens. it's statistically impossible for skewed contests and bias to NOT happen, because there's always going to be cases of it happening. but like, what proof do you have that merc will be biased lol? like, real proof? because your main point i've basically debunked and don't believe in at all. do better than "i cant bewieve ppl wouldnt want some1 whos literally explicitly stating at this point that they trust their friends more to "demonstrate dedication to the character" they assign to a design to b an influence in judging comps !!!!!11" because this doesn't make any sense to me for the reasons i already listed above lmao. if artist entries were supposed to be contests they'd be contests. what the hell makes you important enough to get first dibs on a stranger's work. ARTIST ENTRIES AREN'T EVEN MADE TO BE GIVEN AWAY, THEY'RE MADE AS ARTIST ENTRIES.... LIKE.... JESUS i struggle to understand ya'll

anyway im done here, if you wanna actually talk and debate this hmu on discord at lysander#9229 bc if you actually talk to me instead of spew this hot mess on the blog i might actually listen to you and change my mind and be nice about it instead of being a condescending bitch. 

wait one more thing

>also my last braincell just died pleas h

yea clearly

p.s., why do you ppl keep going to the blog to give critique on merc's designs when on literally every other design merc makes there's this:

https://www.chickensmoothie.com/Forum/viewtopic.php?f=38&t=3950980

here i even linked it for you. idk why it's so hard for yall to give constructive crit like decent human beings

[muggle-writes]

Rules: Answer 21 questions and then tag 21 people who you want to get to know better.

tagged by @elizabethsyson

Nickname: Muggle is my nickname, but when I went by Muggle in person for more than a month at a time, it naturally got abbreviated, usually to Mugz

Zodiac: Aquarius

Last movie I saw: into the spiderverse (same answer as last time. I don't watch that many movies tbh except around Christmas. unless YouTube counts in which case... music of some sort? idk links for the next answer)

Favorite musician: changes by the day. I've kinda been in an acapella and/or folk music mood recently so the Maccabeats and Peter Hollens are in my YouTube and Spotify history a lot recently. also I'm eternally in awe of Forte Handbell Quartet (eta a longer video; i recommend skipping to the techno piece or the Jurassic Park theme)

Last thing I googled: "vine why are you buying clothes at the soup store" (my wife hasn't seen it; also i can't find the vine because apparently it's a much bigger meme than I realized). before that it was "chgrp not root" because work and group permissions are useful when they work

Song stuck in my head: well for most of the day when I haven't been actively listening to something, it's been the Pokemon RSE route-walking music. (but that somehow happens frequently when I'm in the no-music-no-internet room at work, as I was for most of the day, and I don't know how I accidentally trained my brain to make that connection). right now, surprisingly, I don't have any background music playing in my head. I think it's because the humidifier provides just enough white noise that my brain doesn't feel the need to provide its own

Other blogs: my main is @muggle-the-hat and I'm a mod on @why-do-neurotypicals but we've gotten one ask ever so that blog has been dormant for a while. I have a bunch of other sideblogs, but they're all small and I use different screen names on each of them (enby life: no idea which name suits me best so I may as well try them out) so i feel like it would just confuse things to link them.

Following: blogs matching all the themes of my sideblogs, (including this one, which is writeblr), korean langblr, jumblr, assorted fandom blogs, authors of my more favorite fanfictions (some overlap with other categories), and irl friends and acquaintances (including one fandom blog turned irl friend)

Do I get asks: on my main if at all, which isn't really surprising because i have hundreds of followers there and maybe 60 followers combined among the rest. but I get asks far less often than I reblog ask memes so... I'm always happy to get more. I do get tagged in ask games more on this one, but writeblr is actually vaguely organized about tag lists so that makes sense. also I used to get tagged a bunch on my main and I rarely could find the posts again to follow up when I had time to answer.

What I’m Wearing: pajamas. staying warm and cozy

Lucky number: I don't remember what I said last time, but I like a lot of numbers. 64 is a good number. recently I've been debugging software in which 0x3E is my lucky status number and 0x0E taunts me. (um, decimal 62 and 14). Also my other favorite number i can't share until it's no longer the combination to the lock to the Secret Room. (or realistically never because opsec and i shouldn't make public the types of parents we use for that combination lock), honestly I aim to be like.... ah, I'm sure the anecdote involves G.H. Hardy but i don't remember on which side. anyway one mathematician remarked to another about how the id number of the taxi he rode in was sadly uninteresting, and the one I aspire to be like, argued "what are you talking about, this number is interesting because ______" and I'd like to be able to do that for any arbitrary number thrown at me. (hi yes math is good, history is hard, math history is interesting yet i still forget the people even if i remember the math. except when things are named after people, but that tends to be, like, Euler and LaGrange and other people who did lots of cool science things so i remember the methods and the names of the methods separately which never helps)

Amount of sleep: ....depression both screws with my sleep schedule and means I always feel like I need more sleep except when I wake up at 5pm and feel like I've wasted the day. so yeah. I can never get enough sleep

Favorite food: yes (why do I have to pick a favorite?) uh, chocolate in most forms, many other sweet things, red meats (especially if served with potatoes), curry (especially if it has "too much" ginger), fresh-baked bread, chai the way my favorite local Indian restaurant makes it (spicier with just a little bit of sweet, which is the opposite of what i can get from the mocha machine at work which is wayyy sweet with a hint of spice but that inferior chai is still superior to coffee so i drink too much of it). also vegetables which I really don't eat enough of: sauteed zucchini and onions, roasted broccoli

Dream trip: dreaming requires creativity and tbh I funnel that mostly into my writing instead. I wouldn't mind going back to Korea for another visit though

Dream job: my current job is pretty good when I feel productive and when my debugging tools actually produce data maybe??? (they were not being helpful today. but i still mostly like my job.) dream job is probably this but with seniority and confidence and double the salary (while living in a similar area of the country; I wouldn't want to double my salary by moving to work for Google in California and having less available after rent than I do now)

Describe yourself as aesthetic things:

the smell of old books

the first glow of sunrise (the sunrise painting the mountains pink and gold)

a rainbow in the spray from a waterfall

the flicker of distant lightning (watching a thunderstorm fade into the distance)

this picture

Random fact: about me or about the world?

how about a combination answer: when we got our new handbell music this season, we only looked at half the pieces our first rehearsal and afterwards I tried to look up one of the pieces we hadn't gotten to on YouTube because it's got a weird time signature and I wanted to get a feel for how fast it would go and how strict the counting is...... except it turns out we're the first group to ever play the piece. it was commissioned recently but seeing my conductor's name on the page didn't tell me how new it was because he's super prolific. (the fact that it was on printer paper without the publisher's graphics should have been a giveaway but it's only the second time I've been among the first to play one of his pieces so I think I can be excused for not realizing)

Languages: mostly just English, but I took Spanish for years, so I can hold simple conversations in it. I can almost read sound out Hebrew fast enough to keep up in services, and I know some random Hebrew vocab but comparatively no grammar. and I took Korean in college, enough that I can recognize sentence structure but I can really only speak tourist-Korean, though I can sound anything out (if it's typed. handwriting is hit or miss.) in both Hebrew and Korean (and Spanish tbh but i don't often listen to Spanish music) I'm very proud when I can separate the words enough, listening to a song, to translate them without looking up the lyrics. also I tried to learn Japanese from Duolingo when it was new, but I still hadn't gotten the kana straight when it started progressing to kanji so that was a rough time and I went back to Hebrew.

tbh I "dabble" in "language learning" which really means I start a million courses on Duo and stick with none of them. with the notable exception of French, which I acknowledge is super common and probably a good idea to learn but the spelling and pronunciation seem so arbitrary I'm scared to look close enough to learn it properly, and I've never particularly considered starting the Duolingo course for French

I think I lost a few questions, because that's only 18 answers. whoops.

um... who to tag

@abluescarfonwaston if school hasn't drowned you in work yet and @copperscales I'm interested in both of your choices for lucky numbers especially.

... wow I'm blanking on other mutuals I haven't tagged recently. as usual lmk if you'd like to be edited in, or just answer the questions and tag me back, that's great too.

[greatoneforsaken]

Hey, I've always wanted to ask this, and since it seems that Bloodborne 2 may be a bit far off I feel like now may be a good time to make an oc for it. So I wanted to ask: How did you come up with Halfsies? What inspired you to create him, what inspired his backstory? I've been struggling to muddle together any semblance of a coherent character, and wanted to ask around to see what inspired the people I look up to!

Oh man, I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to answer, life is hard and my time management skills are A+. Halfsies’ backstory is kinda how I start most of my characters: It starts with a vague idea or by an ‘inception’ idea, if that makes any sense? It could be a trope you like, shit it could be as simple as there’s a faceclaim you like, or a character from an existing work that you draw inspiration from. Personally I find the idea or inspiration to be the easiest start and work from there. For Halfnut in particular it came from the notion of ‘I wanna have a character who is part beast’ because of how the beasts are treated in the bloodborne universe, and the lore surrounding them and how they came to be. It was also assisted by the fact that I love ‘human’ monsters, or monsters that inspire some form of empathy? So that was his start - the basic ‘this is what I wanna do with him’; from there on out it was filling in his details. “Part beast” could only take me so far - if you wanted to end there, that’s perfectly fine, but I find the next steps help make a neat character; and there is so much lore in the soulsborn series that there’s so much to go from - find an idea you like and run with it! For halfsies, the next step was figuring out a ‘how’ and ‘why’ he became like what he has transformed into. This step was pretty easy actually, I’ve always ADORED the idea of ‘great ones’ or gods that are so powerful they’re beyond human recognition; add in the fact that they’re one of the reasons why the beast plague was on old yharnam and I knew I wanted to go with that. I was actually super torn on having Halfsies’ true backstory rely on a cannon character so heavily - I’m always scared to make my characters “””mary sues””” or w/e (someone called my characters that once upon a time and it kinda has stuck with me?), so I struggled for a while until I said fuck it and had Halfsies get how he did via: Ebrietas. Honestly if people don’t like your character, that’s okay, you’re not gonna make everyone happy and it took me a long time to really let that sink in? I still get worked up about it though...But anyway, so we have the basic idea, the follow up idea, and then the ‘how’ covered, but now for the why? Making this part was super easy for me actually XD; Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE to torture my characters - the more strife, pain, and angst they go through the better! So it fell down to ‘why would a man seek out a great one, and how would he piss it off badly enough to make it curse him’. A father’s desperation to save his family? There’s little power in the world that could stop someone for doing what they think is right to save whom they love - and of course having his kid die in the process to really solidify the fact that he went completely bonkers enough to go seeking out an incomprehensible god. Now all of this didn’t happen right away, Halfsies is actually one of my older characters all things considered, and it took quite a while to really establish a solid background. If it takes you time, don’t stress it! AND if you don’t like how a character is turning out, don’t be afraid to scrap the idea! A professor once told me ‘Don’t be afraid to kill your babies’, and while he was talking about art at the time, it’s really applicable anywhere. If an idea is not working, don’t be afraid to try again - or edit out bits of their history or whatever. They’re your characters, do what you want with them! If you redo their story 15 times, who cares! Have fun with them. I put a lot of empathy into my characters, it’s a double edged sword at times, but I really do connect with them a lot. Halfsies is one of my closer characters because of how much time I’ve spent on him? Honestly he feels like a friend / a part of me, and I don’t think I’ll ever let him go. Halfsies was helped incredibly by the fact that I’ve also had some amazing rp partners too - both in private and here on tumblr. While I don’t really rp much on tumblr at this time, I still rp (that said I do have discord and if anyone wants to pick up something with Halfnut, just gimme a holler! He’s certainly not dead and I am around! I have this blog attached to my main so I see anything that happens here c: ). People help get a fresh set of eyes on something, they can work out things with you or throw your character into situations that you never expected. I never really ever considered his fake name to be Ebenezer, but yet it happened in play - and while it’s not his real name he answers to it in character because it stuck around in play. So having a circle really helps, but I also have had so many private thoughts about halfsies and how he’d interact with my other characters that haven’t made it onto the tumblr rp scene. I guess just love your characters, but if they’re not working, don’t be afraid to nix the idea and try again. I gave the steps to starting the character and working from there. I hope some of this helps you! Don’t be afraid to message me