#kurtain-the-cat

[yaz-the-spaz]

I'm sure you've noticed me stalking your blog these past two days lol and I have another question if you dont mind. In my last ask you said you had some theories about zayn leaving ot4vszayn etc and I was wondering if you would expand upon them? If you dont want to write it all out, you can point me towards certain tags or other blogs if you want. I've been looking through your tags and have found a lot but I wanted to know if there is something that might be more like a timeline of sorts? Thx!!

hey there! here i finally am, so sorry to have kept you waiting but i hope this reply finds you well! :) 

now onto your questions…

so as far as a timelines @bakagamieru has some really good masterposts (x, x) that i would recommend checking out that really break things down play-by-play and i think most of which was compiled as it was happening so it’s a super great (and super detailed) documentation of all the shit that was going down during that period and all the narrative inconsistencies and stunts and back and forth, etc. they’re quite long though and, like i said, very detailed so i would recommend making sure you have plenty of time on your hands before you get sucked down a masterpost and link rabbit hole lol

and for more thoughts/theories of mine i would say check my zayn vs. ot4 tags (x, x - sorry there’s multiple iterations of this, apparently sometimes i had put a period after vs and sometimes i didn’t and now i have two tags smh at my own damn irritating inconsistency)

now onto the meat of your question, which is my current theories on zayn leaving/the zayn vs. ot4 narrative which i’m gonna put as a read more cause i’m not in the mood for ppl coming for me if they disagree, so read at your own risk folks…

so over the years there’s four main theories that i’ve personally gone back and forth over, which i’m gonna summarize quickly and try and explain as succinctly as i can my thoughts on each one and my opinion on the likelihood of it holding credence

disclaimer before i get into the explanations - a large part of my reasoning has to do with the caveat of there possibly being any kind of real tension or bad blood between zayn and louis in particular or any of the other boys. not saying that it was necessarily actually the case, just that it was a potential factor that went into my rationale and personal mental debate over the whole situation

he was coerced in some shape or form to leave and instead of fighting it, went along with it (maybe b/c he was already unhappy) - if there ever was actually any real animosity between him and louis (or harry/niall), this could explain why louis (or the others) might have hypothetically been mad at him b/c he might have felt that zayn could’ve/didn’t fight hard enough or went along with it too easily. but all that aside, even if there was no tension between him and louis/the boys, this option makes a lot of sense because given all he talked about going through in the band (depression, the e.d., too much pressure, not having control or being able to do what he wanted, the intense and rampant closeting putting a strain on his relationship, etc.) it’s not hard to see how he might’ve felt this was the best and only option

he was coerced into leaving, tried to fight it but couldn’t (and possibly even knew for a while that it was coming) - this wouldn’t explain why louis (or the others) might have hypothetically been mad at him but instead does put more credence into the fact that that was completely contrived and pushed by mgmt, and is also just as likely as #1 to me for pretty much the same reasons, not to mention it explains some shady things that happened in the months leading up to it re him not being there for certain promo obligations and appearances, etc.

he was coerced into leaving and had absolutely no choice about it and no way to fight it (i.e. didn’t necessarily want to leave but still knew for a while that it was coming) - pretty much same reasoning as above for this one, the only difference being that in this scenario he wouldn’t have wanted to leave at all which given all he went through i just don’t know if i believe that was wholly the case (more on this below) 

he chose to leave completely on his own - although it would explain any lingering animosity, this to me is the least likely in large part because i just have a hard time believing he would have chosen all on his own to just up and leave in the middle of a tour, not to mention been allowed to (esp given that they would’ve all known they had the hiatus coming up not long after and were about to go the countries where zayn specifically probably have had the biggest following/fan support - the middle east and north africa). but even if he hypothetically really did choose it all on its own it’s hard for me to believe that he would have even been able to leave like that unless there was some element of complacency from their mgmt that allowed it to happen and then you have to wonder why would they just let 1/5 of their biggest money maker walk away with no law suits, no drama, no nothing. it stinks of a larger plan at play which is what brings me back to the theories above. 

those are the main theories that i’ve gone back and forth on and i’ve never really been able to settle on just one, but to me given all that he expressed after leaving the most likely are the first two. i think all of the boys were pretty much done with how they were being treated, but zayn especially so, and it’s very easy for me to see how, when the opportunity arose he might have accepted because he felt it was the best way to save himself (as in his mental and physical health) and possibly also his relationship, though whether that acceptance was with a little (theory #1) or lot (theory #2) of initial opposition on his part, who’s to say. however, i definitely believe that, regardless of the details, there was some element of seeding and/or coercion from tptb, esp when considered in context with the shadiness of certain things, like him not being at certain events that he should’ve legally been obligated to be at in the months leading up to his leaving if no one but him knew he was planning on leaving. or him crying at the last concert that he performed at. those do not seem to be like the actions of a man who wanted to leave completely of his own accord and without any degree of finessing by mgmt to orchestrate it. when you’re a mega popstar in the biggest band in the world you don’t just not show up to something. that’s the type of situation where people will literally come to your house and drag you out of bed because you’re costing them a shit ton of money (like millions of dollars worth of money) by not being there. there’s tons of stories of rock stars where managers or someone from their team would literally go bang down a missing band member’s door, shove them in the shower to sober them up or help them whatever they needed to do, and drag their ass on stage to perform or to a press event or whatever. so you can bet that nothing less, if not the same, would be done for a missing member of a multi-billion-dollar-making band if need be. 

so yeah zayn just not showing up for promo events and performances in the months leading up to his leaving? not believable to me at all. the only conceivable reason for him not to have been there is if mgmt didn’t want him there and the only reason (at least that i can think of) for why you wouldn’t 1/5 of your biggest money-maker to be somewhere he should have been legally obligated to be (and that might’ve cost you hundreds of thousands of dollars for him not to be) is if he wasn’t legally obligated to be there because you were already in the process of phasing him out. ergo it was very likely planned. months in advance. and if it was planned months in advance with the help and orchestration of mgmt then that story of him just deciding to up and leave is complete bs and makes it even more likely to me that there was a level of coercion (because again if 1/5 of your biggest money maker suddenly says to you ‘i wanna leave’ you’re gonna do everything in your power to make him stay so you can keep making money, not help phase him out. unless of course you want him out, which they clearly did.)

one last thing i wanna add is a link to a post i had saved that i feel adds a bit of further credence to all this, it’s nothing concrete but it’s something that helped solidify some things for me when i was a giant ball of confusion over what to believe

anyway, i know that i rambled on forever and this definitely did not end up being as succinct or brief as i had hoped (though lbr when is anything i do ever), but i hope this at least sort of answered your questions and made some amount of sense/was not too incoherent and didn’t completely bore you to death lol

[deadlightsx]

art submission from kurtain-the-cat © i am d y i n g that someone actually took time out of their day to illustrate that cat scenario of mine. / ty ilysm  🎈

much love & balloons from me & penny.

[drawbauchery]

Omg I totally forgot you like south park!! Your sp art is like my fave thing ever idk how I could forget

aah thanks!! oAo

[honeybeeavenue]

I was about to send you an ask to recommend Captive Prince to you until I remembered you were the reason I read it 😭😭

1) ur welcome 2) thanks for reminding me that i would die for laurent of vere im gonna go reread the trilogy and cry now

[gh0ulg1rlll]

playlist <3

hey guys, i'm gonna give u guys some music recommendations <3 i'll link some of my favorites, so you guys can click on them & listen :)

kiss me more - doja cat, sza

bad things - machine gun kelly, camilla cabello

me 2 - lungskull

with my hoe! - c2d

title track - machine gun kelly

#brooklynbloodpop! - syko

rain- kurtains

it could be worse - poorstacy

kiss kiss - machine gun kelly

the eulogy of me and you - lilhuddy

21st century vampire - lilhuddy

la di die - nessa barret, jxdn

be nice 2 me - bladee

run it up! - riven

break it off - pinkpantheress

prom night - riovaz

freaks - surf curse

don't look at me - poorstacy

oh yuh - kempachii

going quietly - ezekiel

i saw an angel - puzzle

call this # now - the garden

moment - vierre cloud

[1863-project]

A Comprehensive List of Bob Mortimer’s Cat Names

Someone made a search that you can check, but I decided to just put them all in one easy list for my own amusement. Remember, they’re just £8.00 p.a.!

Most recent cat names tweet: August 8th, 2019

Tony Caramel

Ron Paving

Clive Eloquence

Paul Workclothing

Gary Chapati

Ken Turmoil

Max Panscourer

Pat Twat (with a sibling; Pat and Ron Twat cannot be split)

Len Murder

Dave Bowl

Barbara Lighthouse (reappears later as Barbara’s Lighthouse)

Perry Similar

Kenny Carpets

Tracy Everywhere

Johnny Cointreau

Mark Pork

Todd Farty

Anton Saucepans

Muriel Breakthrough

Ronnie Pom-pom

John Pudding

Brad Shit

P.O. Box 6

Ken Tussle

15 Inch Ron

Dean Atlas

Aromatic Pat

Craig’s Anus

Mary Berry’s Crack Den

Duncan Sparkles

Low Tim

Madam Hats

Ali Ballbag Ltd. (reappears as Ali Ballbag without the Ltd. later)

Long Ron

Tepid Ken

Ruth Worksurface

Roxy Backwater

Duncan Cardoors

Sausage and Tits

Pat Stott

Donny Fortuna

Careful Tits

Bobby Resistance

Special Agent Parsley

Anton Crackpipe

Sargeant Walnuts (sp.)

Pete! Dave! Over Here!

Sausages and Laughter (x2)

Debbie Wilson

Ishram Canister

Jupiter Whistles

Shakira’s Cock

Babs Moonwater

Ricky Drinkingchocolate

Bitter n’ Tits

Cat McPatPiss

Pork Water

Funk Kurtain

Meal of Rice (x2)

Webcam Gary

Aldi Suitcases

Papa Halfords

Ocado Stungun

Tits McMillets

Threat Level Tesco

Agent Shitfarm

Mainly Sausages

Titted Biscuits

The Cable Guy

Frank Canons Cock

Twenty Posts

Flappy McSusan

Shitfarm Padlock

Pillau Nice

Django Untrained (x3)

Kenny Mousetits

Gas Board Shitstorm

Gary Plasters

Let It Go From Frozen

6 Miles to Debenhams

Ken Lump

Sarah Access

Don Partial

Cool Balls

Mick Moth

Flicks Puffins

Angela Ding-Dong

Pat McPuff

Whistles McFarmland

Roy Mincemeat

Kate Peppers (minimum 3 year lease)

Bus Pass Ron

Kitchen Shitstorm

Wendy Broadcast

Bert Onesie

Karen Pancake

King Ali Shitty Shotty

Steve Briefcase

Randy Pancake (a sibling of Karen?)

Shitfarm Sprinkler

Jane Coconuts Gun

Whistles McCrackling

Jim Equipment

Ron O’Congo

Mars Barr

Pat Shatty

Len Chestweasels

Humphrey Barcode

Shit Car

Gentle Kenneth

Rusty Seduction

Doctor Handrail

Dusty Handmusic

Quality Parsnips

Edith’s Tits

7 Hamburgers

Mike Drink

Napoli Rodriguez

Fish and Tits

Gary Whelks

Pat du Jour

Sandy Fingerings

Dusty Sequence

FriendlyToffeeBloke

Buttery Ken

Fox Leftovers (x2)

The Anus

Jackie Doritos

Harry Tits

Billy the Pigeon

Honestly Shitfaced

Darren Plunge

Ronnie California

Karen Cobblers

Geoffrey Fire

ITV One

Top Heavy Ken

Comfortable Derek

Patrick Cups

ITV One + 1

Passive Matthew

Keith’s Dick

Yusef Nightmares

Watery Ron

The Cake

The Evil Coin

Tanned Hand

Formally Bernard

50 Shits

Strongly Ron

Intelligence and Turnips

The Bomb Club

Zac Parliament

Gary Venue

Buttery Paul

Long Rodney

Papa Handwash

Ravioli Townsend

Cuba Big Tits Jr

Watery Bill

Slightly Tofu

Indian Suitcase

Ian’s Butter

Meal of Pickles

Floating Tiger Hidden Moorhen

Yousef Metabolism

BBC’s The Office

Alison Hedgefund

Christ in Flight

Remote Toby

Sensual Ken

Mr Shite

Swords and Cakes

Dons Crabs

Ken Wok

Todd Nightly

All The Meats

Gradual Henry

Problems and Co

Anal September

Turkey Disturbance

Presently Walnuts

Crackers McKnackers

Brian Harvey’s Xmas

Greetings O’Jesus

Nut 31

Anus of Snow

Wizard of Tits

Vegan Relative

Sprouts McStuffing

X-Factor Final

Greetings From Hull?

Lovely Sprouts

The Sack

Inspector Partridge

Aldi 5-Bird Roast

[there’s more in the photo but sadly they’re cropped]

Kissy Lipsauce

Lacey Bedspread

Tender Gary

Softy Pinkpowders

Strokey McPokey

Ronnie Omelettes

Gary from Admin

Lidl Wayne

Aldi Best

Cedric Latenights

Broccoli Highkicks

Sirius Cockhopper

Bubbles McParty

Mr. Several Businesses

Donny Romance

Ken Rope

Puff Stepdad

Well Done Deborah

Fire Hawk

Valerie Simpleton

The Plasterer

Gary Avenue

I <3 Lids

Slippery Wilf

Alan’s Mam’s Dentist

Pork n’ Pancakes

Ring of Mince

The Carpet Fitter

Burnt Shite

Sausages and Makeup

Seeping Turkey Hidden Baubles

Donny Chestnuts

Paul Pogba’s Sat Nav

Terence Tinsel Jr.

Gifty McWhiffle

Jonny Fondling

Banana in Transit

The Gift of Barry

Chocolates Near Bottoms

Sentimental Craig

Not Now Raymond

The Many Chins of Derek O

Meet Me at Halfords

Brigadier Knickers

Rt. Hon. Nutty Shite

Russ Abbot’s Cape

Dave’s Hand Cream

Paul Blart Falafel Cop

Cupboard of Vests

Agnes Fags (cigarettes, not the slur)

German Ice

Liquorice Mick

The 8th Ron of Luton

That Bloke What Stinks

Ron’s Liquids

Hot Chilli Whistles

Pottery and Nonsense

The Very Long Bag

Dean Gaffney’s Cauldron

Lynn’s Windows

Chad Salad

Gustav Hosiery

Hans Downtrousers

Gerhardt Nightcreeper

Jean Paul BuggerAll

Atem Ben Chinstrap

Myfanwy Mindwallop

Carlos Whispers

H From Steppes

[acnhmedlilove]

I saw this going around and wanted to try it 🌻🌺🍂

·         🌞Name: Medlilove

·         🌝Nicknames: KitKat

·         🦀Zodiac: Cancer

·         📏Height: 5′6″

·         👌Languages: English

·         🇬🇧Nationality: UK/European

Favorite..

·         🌾Season: I love when the seasons change from one to another

·         🏖️Scent: Sea breeze, the ocean

·         🌼Flower: Baby’s breath

·         💮Colour: I love turmeric, soft pinks, navys and cerulean blues

·         🐦Animal: I’ve always wanted a love bird, or a corgi

·         😍Fictional character: So so many, Captian Janeway, Minerva McGonnagall, Dana Scully, Kisuke Urahara, Porco Rosso, Dorian Pavus, Cassandra Pentagast, Yachiru and Zaraki Kenpachi, Totakeke KK Slider, Captain America, Kurtain Mucklowe and so on hahaha

·         🍵Coffee, tea, or hot cocoa?: I do like a coffee with milk in the morning, but you can’t beat an English breakfast tea

·         🌜Average sleep: Really fucked, I have really dry eyes and often wake up needing to eye drop

·         🐈Dog or cat person?: BOTH

·         🧸Number of blankets: 3

·         🌏Dream trip: Giants Coresway or to see the California Redwoods

·         🤷🏻‍♀️Blog established: God knows

·        🔢 Followers: like, 900?

·         🌿Random fact: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh I work in a contemporary art gallery and currently we have sticks in giant bunches, picked up one per day by the artist who made a font out of different leaves and wrote letters to nature apologising on humanity’s behalf. It’s pretty nice

I tag anyone who wants to do it <3

[oribloom]

pointless list of every artist i fw right now

shinigami sewerperson guardin fats’e 93feetofsmoke osquinn caspr skele bladee ecco2k yung sherman yung gud yung lean blackkray yungjzaisdead refegang king christian syveria chime bones greaf drip-133 fleecehop kodyak hellion gin$eng fifty grand stm dylan brady laura les cameronazi $ubjectz zillakami $uicideboy$ lil peep sosmula david shawty savagegasp waifu afourteen lil darkie chanel rose panda eyes illenium inochi xavier wulf chris travis kirbalagoop nothign nothing,nowhere. guccihighwaters coldhart lil tracy surf gang mesh gang trippythakid foxwedding familypet that weird kidd brady amour sakuraburst polearm walzy adharmastru former hero remghost skele irby hm.wav lil skil sk_coldworld curtains kurtains xela trey scarlet lil healix taylor morgan alasen pixel terror yandere pixel terror scapegoat porter robinosn kami oshie aaron kusnier snail’s house yung van yesterday captain sad colliding with mars barren SEBii yung scuff cat soup miruku clams casino josie velvetears sosi crywofl sizzlebird meltycanon w a s shvde doujinshi belis okashi koi lilac delta waves brobak lil rozey drew thea rchitect xori osheen drxxl astari thaiboy digital lil west misogi hnrk omenxiii ghost n ghoul mikey the magician ditc lil aaron smrtdeath king yosef lil lotus yungfuckingaff funeral original god killedmyself lund sloth the virus and antidote heaven chord revenant kaiyko shy 4evr grayera supachefm demxntia saphir scum harvest softheart trbld boy hamilton jay vee kamikaze kay lunafreya night lovell cooliecut prxz thraxx itsoktocry nedarb captain crunch wicca phase doves yawns madeintyo landon cube fish narc lederrick horse head bighead lil kawaii ceejay matt ox trippie redd xxxtentacion speaker knockerz dazegxd braxton knight brakence tommy ice glaive wido alice gas angelus cxdy sybyr lowkeylucifer ciel brody mckeegan keshore curtis heron vague001 vague002 vague003 reaper loudmouf kang oogie mane sihnjin teen pregnancy you’re dreaming lil shine yung skah dj khaled’s son fadedblackid wendigo kais scarlxrd prxjek wifisfuneral yung simmie denzel curry black smurf kellbender yung cortex lil house phone cvrbi jakkyboi eskry the blame tothegood ghostrage servatus lil zubin whxami lil biscuit

[sestragif]

Rachel for @kurtain-the-cat

[yaz-the-spaz]

Hey! What's the impression you get on the whole zayn vs 1d/louis thing? Do you think there's truth behind it and they all had a falling out or it's a bs? Or a little bit of truth that's been exaggerated

hey back! i think it’s possible there was a little bit of truth to it at some point (and i have my own personal theories/headcanons as to why), but with the way it’s played out and continued to play out i’m verrrry skeptical to believe, even if there was ever any truth to it, that it was ever as serious as it was made out to be just cause in general anything that comes from or is pushed heavily by the 1dhq mouthpieces* (like the zouis feud has been) tends to be a complete and utter load of bullshit and the absolute opposite of the truth

(*aka dan wattpad & the sun/the daily fail)

[honeybeeavenue]

Is Captive Prince online? Or do i have to buy it? I want to read it but don't know where!!!

u have to buy it but the ebooks are available!! or u could be like me and just look for the pdf files online hahaHAHAHAH

[floofovich-blog]

Dammit, I just realized dis kurtain iz not dat great for playing hide and seek 🙈 #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #persian #persiancat #kitten #kitty #showmeyourkittiez #meow #fluffy #floof #purr #hungariancat #catsofhungary #macska #cica #perzsacica #catcontent #vscocat #catagram #meowgram #instacat #instacats #dailycat #purrfect #topcatphoto #igershungary #ighungary

[magnificentkitchen]

@kurtain-the-cat This is so cute I can't

[stylisjh]

Bro your art is amazing!!! I'm gonna see if I can buy something, it's so beautiful

awww thank you so much! i always think it's so cool when people have my artwork because it's just a little peice of me out in the world somewhere! 💗💗💗

[yaz-the-spaz]

@kurtain-the-cat just wanted to let you know i didn’t forget you! i’m gonna get to your ask i promise, it’s just it’s late where i am and it’s a little more involved (explanation-wise) than i have the energy for rn lol

[magnificentkitchen]

@kurtain-the-cat

PLEASE LOOK AT THIS PIC IT’S VERY IMPORTANT