#I've been feeling unmotivated recently | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

spctrsgf · 1 year ago

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the cantina

summary: men at a cantina are never a good sign. luckily, you’ve got one small trick up your sleeve that you didn’t even know you had.

word count: 2.3k

warnings: f!reader (din uses the nickname “sweet girl,” I'M SORRY I COULDN'T PASS THE OPPORTUNITY UP), mentions of sex, protective din (deserves his own warning), fluffy as hell

a/n: i am SO sorry for my lack of activity, i've been so unbelievably unmotivated :((( here's an old fic i wrote because protective din has my heart and soul<3

“Hey.” Your head picks up at the sound of Din’s modulated voice, dragging you out of your head. The kid lets out a garble as your attention turns away from rubbing between his ears, but he quickly quiets when you resume your earlier motions. “Mhm?” Your eyes land on the thin strip of glass on his helmet in an attempt to hold his own gaze.

“Would you like to come with us?”

Your eyebrows furrow. “To?”

Din’s helmet lifts as if in confusion, and it seems to hit him that he never vocalized his plan. “Into town. I need to meet Karga and the kid needs food.”

You look down at the kid, his pearly black eyes now pleading, and relent almost instantly. “Sure.”

Din nods, leaning against the wall as you get yourself together. You could feel his eyes tracking your moves, even through the visor, but he wasn’t judging. Just observing. It’s slightly unnerving, but you try to let it slide off your back. Pulling on a light jacket and sealing the kid in his capsule, the three of you then head on your way.

You follow Din as he weaves diligently through both buildings and people, but it’s not like anyone’s really getting close. The locals lend you the courtesy of their attention as you pass, stopping to watch with folded emotion. Maybe they don't get many passersby here.

Nonetheless, the harsh stares punch and stab their tiny claws into you as you fold in on yourself. The new notion makes you unbearably uncomfortable. In contrast, Din stays tall in front of you, the beskar wrapped around him serving as a barrier.

You drop your head at the snarl of one man you made the mistake of connecting eyes with, picking up your pace. As your footsteps become mindless, your mind prepares to delve into itself with the questions you’d since busied yourself away from since leaving the Crest.

Why did he offer to take you with him?

Why was he talking to you now? He used to be so quiet.

Did he feel unsafe without you?

No, that wasn’t it. You couldn’t protect him half as well as he could on his own under all that armor. Hell, he was the one protecting you.

Was he worried about you?

No, let’s be realistic here. He’s worried about the kid, and the kid’s recently taken a liking to you. Din wasn’t worried about you, he didn’t return your feelings…

You yelp as you nearly run into the said man’s back, avoiding a gnarly bruise from the rocket he had strapped on. Din turns, and you take a step back with increasingly red cheeks. “Sorry. I didn’t know we had stopped,” bubbles out of your mouth.

He doesn’t say anything, just holds open the door for you to step in. It wasn’t meant to be rude, you know; he just didn’t talk unless he had to.

But, he didn’t have to ask you if you wanted to come earlier, he could have just told you to-

You squash that thought as you step into the cantina, straightening your shoulders. The atmosphere squeezes the air out of your lungs as everyone turns towards you. Or more accurately, Mando.

He nudges you in gently as he sweeps past you, Karga already having his ecstatic greeting halfway out of his mouth.

You hover near the door, unsure of what to do. Sighing, you stride towards the bar, deciding to buy a drink and keep yourself occupied until Mando is done. You feel a cascade of eyes on you again, but this time, they’re on you for a different reason. You will your shoulders to not slump as you pull at your attire, now hating the way it hugged your form.

You gingerly place yourself on a barstool, ordering a random soda in a haste to have something to do. The bartender droid slides the drink to you, but before you can catch it, a hand reaches out to grab it.

“Put it on my tab.” The man next to you says as he plops himself onto the seat next to you. You reach out with a hand that shivers to grab the drink, meeting his gaze with a small smile.

“Thanks, but I can pay for it.”

The man shakes his head. “How could I let someone as stunning as you pay for it? Please, allow me.”

“Alright then. Thank you.” You take a sip of the drink. He seems nice enough.

“I’m Qui.” He holds his hand out.

You respond with your name, meeting him halfway to shake, but instead of doing that, he lifts your hand to his mouth, placing a kiss on the back of it.

You swallow deeply, retracting your hand. Is he flirting with me? Your brain swirls with this newfound discovery. No, that’s bullshit, don’t push it. Your eyes flick across his face quickly before dropping down to your drink. He wasn’t that cute at all, really. You much prefer men that wear a beskar helmet and have a kid with big green ears.

…too specific?

You could feel Qui’s gaze on you as you watch the condensation drip down the side of your glass, hovering in places that make you squirm. Oh Maker. You shift uncomfortably, apparently wiggling too much for the man next to you. His hand shoots out to grip your arm alarmingly fast, and you freeze, unsure whether or not to push him off. “Aren’t you gonna finish that drink, sweetheart?”

Sweetheart. You hate that nickname.

You cough to clear the shake in your voice, turning to meet his intense purple eyes. “I’m okay, thanks. I actually have some business I need to attend to, but thanks for the chat. And the drink.” You turn to walk away, but his hand grips your arm harder, yanking you into his chest.

“I’ll come with you. Someone as attractive as you shouldn’t be walking home alone.” His eyebrows wiggles suggestively.

You shake your head, pulling away from him again. “I’ll be fine, really. It’s just a few blocks away.”

Qui puffs out his chest slightly. “Are you sure?”

You nod, expelling out a quick; “Yep!”

“Could I get a method of contact then, love?”

Love. You only want to hear that one from one person's mouth, and it definitely wasn’t Qui’s.

“Uh, maybe another time?” You back up slightly, unsure of how to reject someone when it’d been so long since you’d been asked.

Qui surges forward and grips your arms again. “C’mon, please? You know you wanna meet up with me again.”

Maker, how big is this man’s ego? It certainly wasn’t helping that everyone’s now turning to watch the scene unfold in front of them, none even thinking of reaching out a helping hand.

You yank yourself from his hands, taking on a sense of urgency. “No. I said no.”

Qui’s face twists into a sour frown, jutting out a quip of your name and then “Give me fucking something to contact you with.”

“N-“

Qui leans in, and you could smell the foul smell of alcohol reeking from his breath. “I said give me something. I won’t ask again.”

“Please stop.” You put your hands up and step back, beads of sweat rolling down your back.

“Give it!” He yells, and if people weren’t looking then, they sure are now.

You decide that words weren’t going to get through to this man, no matter how hard you tried. Frozen in place, you brainstorm as quickly as you could. You need something that would threaten him, or even someone-

“Is there a problem here?”

Ah. Like that.

You hear Mando come up behind you, jumping slightly when his hand grips the side of your waist as he comes to stand next to you. Qui frowns, muttering your name in confusion. “Who’s this-“

“I’m a Mandalorian.” Mando didn’t offer his hand out, only a tilt of the helmet.

“Well yeah, I see that-“ he turns to you with a sickeningly sweet smile. “C’mon, you're hanging with him? Ya haven’t even seen his face, I bet.”

Mando’s hand tightens around your waist, and if looks could kill, Qui’d be fucking dead. A pile of fucking bones.

You surge out of Mando’s grip in a wave of anger, coming up to Qui’s chest. “I don’t need to see his face to know he’s not a fucking asshole like you.”

Qui’s smile only falters for a few seconds before it renews even brighter. “Ah, I’m an asshole like this? Because you might be saying something different if you and I left right now.”

Qui’s hand raises to grip your hip, but you’re being yanked backwards into a metal covered chest before he can do so much as move. Your shoulders relax as you puff out breaths of air, coming down from your surge of anger. Mando wraps his arm around your shoulder and pulls you both diligently out of the cantina, dropping a few credits to a waitress on your way.

The walk back to the ship is quiet, and you’d assume Mando is upset at you if it weren’t for the hand that grips your shoulder tightly. You and the kid are ushered in before Mando closes the hull door almost aggressively.

You busy yourself with situating the kid as Mando watches the door close, silent. The green eared menace is already half asleep, so you don’t bother taking him out of his pod, only wrapping a blanket around him.

You go to turn around to plot the coordinates to your next destination, knowing that Mando is preoccupied in the depths of his helmet, but when you turn, you nearly bump into the said man.

His hands fly to your cheeks in a millisecond, tilting your face left and right as if you had just been in a fight. You let him turn you around to fully assess you, confused at display of affection. As soon as you come back to face him, your eyes dart around his visor like you would be able to read him.

“Are you alright?” Mando’s voice cuts through the silence of the hull. “I- I’m okay, yeah.” You mumble, going to tilt down your face.

A gloved hand catches your chin and tilts it back towards him. “That’s not very convincing.”

“Mando, im fine-“

“Din.”

Your breath catches. “Um, yeah. Din, I’m fine. Just a little shaken, I’ll be okay. I think.” You lift up a hand that’s shivering as if it’s cold.

“You’re okay,” He states, and upon hearing two words that you’d never thought you’d hear from Din’s mouth, you relax slightly into his infinitely stable grip. “He’s not here.”

You nod, believing him. You go to pull away, feeling better now, only for the shock of the whole experience to hit you like a truck. Your chin wobbles as tears threaten to spill over the ducts of your lids.

Din’s helmet lifts up sharply, and if you weren’t so focused on crying in front of the strongest man you knew, you would have registered it as fear. Your eyes flick downwards as a tear slipped out, not wanting to look at him. His hand shifts to your jaw as he wipes the tear away with a care you’d only seen him extend to the kid, gloves kissing the skin of your cheek.

“I’m sorry,“ you burst out of Din’s grip in embarrassment, hiding your face. “This is stupid, I shouldn’t be crying-“

“No,” Din snarls, the ferocity of the word causing your head to shoot up. “No, don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault, it’s that idiot’s fault for touching you,” his hands grab at your forearms like a little kid and drags you towards him again, capturing you in a tight hug. “I swear I would’ve- I wanted to-“ he takes a deep breath. “You’re okay.”

You two stand like that for a while, Din whispering reassurances that you weren’t sure were for you anymore. You cry a storm and a half into the crook of his neck, between the lip of his helmet and the edge of his undershirt, finally calming down enough to pull away some minutes later.

But, when you move to pull back, Din’s arms don’t budge. You relent your efforts almost immediately, knowing deep down in your gut that both you and him need this connection now. You weren’t complaining, anyway– this is something you’d wished would happen for so long. Maybe not under these circumstances, but you would take whatever you could get.

“Din,” you mumble into his shoulder. “I’m okay. I’m here.”

“Please don’t leave.” He barely says those three words, but you hear them loud and clear.

You tighten your grip on him. “I’m not going anywhere. You can’t get rid of me now.”

He let out a huff of air, and you couldn’t tell whether it was a huff or a laugh. “You were never a nuisance.”

You flush. “Ah, well that’s good news.”

Din let his helmet drop to your shoulder, the cold beskar a contrast to your burning skin. “You’re amazing. I don’t deserve you, sweet girl.”

Sweet girl. Now that was a nickname you could get used to. In fact, you already loved it.

#din djarin #din djarin fluff #din djarin fanfiction #din djarin imagine #din djarin x reader #the mandalorian #the mandalorian imagine #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian fluff #pedro pascal #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal fluff #pedro pascal x reader #star wars #star wars imagine

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neptunescore · 6 months ago

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Unpopular opinion

But I really think that if Logan had been able to go through F2 fully and develop like everyone else (except max) did, and was put on a ran that wasn’t Williams, he’d be a much better driver. I can tell he’s improving currently, but he’d be so much better if he was allowed to grow and thrive and then put into F1, but he was taken out of F2 early, dumped into F1, and expected to perform amazingly.

Not every driver can skip F2 or be taken out early and perform great. I think the old team principal set him up for failure but not sporting him to continue his endeavors on F2. He was doing well so the team principal wanted to get to him before any other team could and that ultimately led to Logan’s horrible first season.

And I also think he was done wrong by Williams this season too. I understand that he’s by no means the best driver on the grid, but he isn’t the worst either.

A lot of people don’t want to acknowledge the growth he has made since last year. His year was ruined before it could truly began. With what happened in Australia, the team took his confidence away, and things went down from there. He was so ready and extremely confident, but his car was taken as punishment for something that his teammate did to his own car.

I get that it was a decision based on who could get points, but what really did it was the fact that Alex didn’t get any points and then Logan got his busted up chassis

And even recently, Logan barely got upgrades. He was given stuff from last year. I think he would do so much better on a different team because Williams obviously do not care for him the way they care for Alex. I get that he hasn’t really been driving the way they want him, but to be honest, neither has Alex.

I don’t know, man, this is just my opinion, but I feel like if he was allowed to finish his formula 2 season and then put into formula 1 things would be better for him. And if he weren’t in Williams, then that would be even better. They are known as the worst team on the grid to put a rookie in.

Another unpopular opinion, but I genuinely think he deserves another chance in a team like haas. I know you’re probably going to disagree with me, but haas has a better car than Williams and they would treat him fairly. He would also bring the team many sponsors as the only American, so it would be a win-win.

We don’t know how he would perform in a different team with a better car, so I’m just saying I would like to see what would happen

Honestly I agree with everything uve said here anon, like wholeheartedly.

I'm just gonna add a few more things, but overall, we both have the exact same opinions.

I feel like ppl forget that williams is literally an OVERWEIGHT car, like u literally can't expect amazing results from them, and I know some of you are gonna talk abt how alex seems to be doing rlly well, but alex has been here since 2019. Not to forget that he was part of that redbull shitshow, like this man is fully trained in the art of surviving under stressful situations, and he's also an experienced driver.

I feel like there's more hate on logan bc ppl keep seeing how well Oscar's doing, and those 2 came into F1 at the same time. But you literally can't compare them. You can't. Oscar's one of the VERY few rookies who managed to adjust to f1 that quick, and logan literally just needs TIME like all the other drivers got when they first joined too. Not to mention how SUPPORTING mclaren is of oscar, while james vowels is out there already talking abt different driver options and williams is so blatantly unmotivating of logan. God, ofc it's just gonna affect his performance even more bc this is the ONLY team hes been with, and it's his SECOND year, he needs affirmations and support.

Oscar is also in an AMAZING car, and as I've said bfr, logan is NOT. Ppl rlly need to stop comparing them.

All in all, his situation makes me so sad.

#nep's inbox🪐#f1 #formula one #formula 1 #williams #james vowels #logan sargeant #oscar piastri

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thelunarsystemwrites · 4 months ago

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Lunar's mental health. An update.

TW: bad mental health, EDs, depression, s/h, personal stuff, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, vent, self hate, heavy topics.

Sorry I haven't been posting!!

An update on me.

...Hi, you might know me as Lunar, or, TheLunarSystemWrites! I'm just an artist on here, trying to do things I like.... right?

Well, unfortunately, real life doesn't really... care. It doesn't care if I have friends to talk to, art to make, things I like to do.

I've been exhausted, physically and mentally. I've been busy working a lot in our home. (Painting, building, packing, inside work, cooking, etc) and it's always stressful... we're starting to get a little tight on money.

I've spent majority of my time in my bed. I don't wanna face my family members, so I've hidden away. It's hard to get up every day, and try to find the will to take care of myself.

I also recently relapsed with Bulimia, a disorder that, essentially means I throw up whatever I eat. I've been purging since September 16th, 2022. But I had awhile where I only purged once a day or none, but I'm back at it with full force. So my body doesn't have any energy left. I've also now lost my periods do to it.

I don't sleep well. It's much easier to stay up all night than waste my only free time sleeping. So I have no energy from sleeping well unless I sleep a whole day away, which makes me groggy.

Self harm is also something bothering me too, I'm too tired to do it and yet I keep doing it. Wasting precious spoons on it, I literally can't be clean for a whole year this year, that dream is dead. But, I am a few days clean as I type!

Suicidal and intrusive thoughts have been.... pesky. But I can't just leave my friends, plus I have prizes to make.

But, I'm unmotivated. I can't seem to write or draw anything. All my art is looking... regressed, to me. Everything is repetitive.

I've hated myself now more than ever in my life, I'm in a pretty bad place and I hate how self aware I am.

SPEAKING of regression! I have like, regression block. My brain isn't working with me, isn't regressing unless Involuntary. So my main coping mechanism is.... out of order.

I've been angry at the world, really pissy and moody. Tired, hungry, sad, then happy but not much. Numbness is a huge factor, I'm feeling depressed.

Not to mention, there's drama everywhere I look. This creator gets bullied, that one turns out to be disgusting. People get doxxed over opinions... it's constantly anxiety that I'll be wrongly accused, ridiculed, or abandoned. It's terrifying that people will go at each other's throats. It's exhausting to deal with it and be dragged into drama with problematic people.

Every day has been the same for me for the past 3 years. I'm tired, bored, understimulation controls me.

My friends are my lifeline right now.

I feel uncomfortable in my own body all the time, unsatisfied with my art, everything is essentially falling apart in my life.

Depression, anxiety... not a good mix to wake up disoriented and anxious, then gave zero spoons throughout the day. I'm not in a good home situation right now.

So... I kinda just... haven't been posting, role-playing, answering DMs, answering asks, etc...

I'm burnt out.

I feel like I'm a walking corpse.

Useless even.

I don't feel like myself anymore, I barely have the energy to talk to friends, every little bad things sets me back. I just can't bring myself to really engage much anymore.

So... sorry. I'm sorry, if I wasted your time. Or if this isn't like what you wanted to hear. I'm just not okay anymore, April was the last good month I had this year. APRIL.

I just wanted to update you all, there's a lot of other stuff I didn't share because it's nit important. I swear I'll get to the prizes eventually, I just ain't up to it right now. Might not be for awhile, apologies in advance!!

Hope you guys can understand, I might or might not be back to doing art, who knows. But I'll definitely get things done before that if I ever stopped. It just doesn't bring me joy, I used to hope I'd make an AU people cares about, and I've barely achieved that ^^"

Hope you're all well!! Stay safe, take care!! Remember to hydrate and to try eating if you can, you're spectacular!!!

Daily clicks!! ^^

Previous pinned post.

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writingquestionsanswered · 9 months ago

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Hello! Can I ask some advice on how to get inspiration/motivation back?

I am recently struggling a bit with this, trying to keep writing but the inspiration just decided to disappear, I can't bring myself to write more than one line.

(I love every post you make, you really are helpful your explanations are lovely ♡)

Trying to Get Inspiration/Motivation Back

I'm so happy you're enjoying the blog! I have a bunch of previous posts with tips for motivation and inspiration. Some are general, others are more geared to when you're working on a specific WIP.

It really helps if you can pinpoint whether it's an issue with yourself, such as not being in the mood to write or being distracted by other things, or if it's an issue with your story/stories... because knowing that can help you focus your efforts on that particular area. I've included links related to both below! ♥

Guide: How to Rekindle Your Motivation to Write Guide: Filling Your Creative Well 5 Reasons You Lost Interest in Your WIP, Plus Fixes! Feeling Unmotivated with WIP Getting Excited About Your Story Again Getting Unstuck: Motivation Beyond Mood Boards & Playlists Building Confidence in Your Writing Have Plot, Can’t Write

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

LEARN MORE about WQA

SEE MY ask policies

VISIT MY Master List of Top Posts

COFFEE & FEEDBACK COMMISSIONS ko-fi.com/wqa

#wqaadvice

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mighty-ant · 4 days ago

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i've been a bit depressed and struggling creatively for almost an entire year, feeling stressed and unmotivated to write, but recently i've starting feeling the urge to create again, and it's a wonderful feeling that i've really missed

im starting a new tranformers rescue bots podcast, returning to ducktales fanfic writing, AND do my best to launch a youtube channel, with longform essay content about my favorite shows and movies

it's all incredibly daunting but very, very exciting and i hope others will join in and enjoy the ride 😊

#ant talks #ant posts #my first video essay is slated to be christmas themed #wish me luck

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kairiscorner · 1 year ago

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🎶 When did it end? All the enjoyment

I'm sad again, don't tell my boyfriend

It's not what he's made for

What was I made for? 🎶 my fav part fr... anyways GOOD MORNING/AFTERNOON/EVENING KAIRIIIII. teehee.. can you do a miles x reader comforting reader? (any kind of problem that you want.. ex: weight, exams, feeling like a failure and etc) if you want to ofc!

🐨-

HI AGAIN 🐨 ANON MY BOO 🫂 omg i LOVE this idea, also why would you hurt me with 'what was i made for' (sobs uncontrollably) BUT ANYWAY, HOPING YOU LIKE THISSSS

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

everything's gonna be alright — miles 1610 x reader

summary: lately, you haven't been feeling very proud of yourself. you used to be so good at what you did, it was your pride and joy to be amazing at what you do--but it's like the spark's gone, and when that spark's gone... wouldn't who you are be gone, too? miles doesn't think so, though, and he's here to prove you are so much more than how you see yourself. word count: 827

you couldn't pick up the phone right now, everything just felt so... suffocating. nothing felt right about today, about this whole week. you knew you should expect days like this, days when you feel unmotivated to do what you usually brings you fulfilment and joy, but recently, it's gotten a lot more intense. you felt like you were falling behind, like everyone else is getting ahead of you while you're still stuck back to where you started. you felt like the world was passing you by, and no matter what you did to counter that feeling, the feeling merely festered and worsened. you hated what you became when you felt this way, it made you feel like you weren't really in control of yourself.

"gonna, um... gonna talk about it?" miles asked you as he crawled into your room through your open window. you sighed, unsurprised that miles came after you ignored his calls. he always visited you like this, it was kind of tradition now ever since he got his powers. but whenever he came, you were usually so bright and cheery, with you doing whatever it was you were so passionate about–but recently, you've been more and more closed off, and it's been concerning miles.

you shrugged. "what's there to talk about?" you asked him as you began picking up the fallen items and pillows from your flurry of anger and disappointment in yourself. miles helped you clean up, what with him having memorized every inch of your room since he's here so often. "maybe about the fact you've been kinda off these days, and... i've been calling you. but you never responded, so i felt the need to see if you were okay–" "i'm fine." you responded immediately as you almost slammed your notebooks back on the desk, your nostrils flaring and your eyebrows knitting together.

miles looked at you with concern in his eyes. he approached you slowly, worried about what happened, even though you said you were fine. "i'll believe you, but if you wanna talk..." he began as he picked up a photo of you two that fell down from your notebooks and looked at it, smiling as he saw the silly faces you both made. "...i'm right here for you." he said as he gently pat your back and handed you the photo. you looked at him and took the photo from him, feeling slightly ashamed you were turning him away when he's so eager to help you. you felt a coldness overwhelm you as you shut your eyes and sighed. you admitted to miles nothing was okay right now, not a single thing was okay about this whole week and everything just... felt like you weren't important, your efforts weren't being recognized, and you were working yourself to the bone for nothing.

you felt hot tears form in your eyes as miles gently wiped them away for you. he nodded and looked at you with sympathy and compassion filling his face as sadness and regret filled yours as you thought more and more about how pathetic you saw yourself, how pathetic miles must've seen you at that moment. "i'm sorry, i'm sorry i'm so... so pathetic, i--" but before you could finish, miles shushed you and wrapped you in a gentle hug. "hey, hey... it's okay. you're good." he reassured you as he held you close, with you holding on to him and sobbing a little more into his shoulder.

"but it's... it's not okay, you have such valid problems, like saving the city, taking down villains, making peace with your uncle's death... and here i am crying over such stupid things..." you murmured as your lower lip trembled and as your eyes filled with new tears. miles kept holding you close as he rubbed your back. "all problems are valid. and even if you don't think so, i do. you're perfect in everything you do, because you make it your own. don't feel pressured to be on top, i'm perfectly content meeting you halfway there, or nowhere near the top at all."

"i love you, and i love everything it is you do. if you don't feel like doing it, don't be disappointed in yourself. take a break, be kinder to yourself, and best of all... realize you're worth so much more than your hobby, your grades, your looks, your everything. you are not what you make, you are who want to be." miles said as he pulled away from you and smiled as he wipes away the remainder of your tears. "and if you want me to start, well then, i'm no hero--the city made me that. i know who i am, and that is your annoyingly cute boyfriend of yours who will never stop reminding you i care, and that you are wonderful." he said as he kissed the top of your head and held you close again. "and i love you, so, so, so much."

tags !! @k4tsu3 @fiannee @luvstarrstruck @toneystank-3000 @ii01vq @maxoloqy @solecitoszn

#miles morales #earth 1610 miles morales #earth 1610 miles morales x reader #earth 1610 miles morales x you #earth 1610 miles morales x y/n #miles morales x reader #atsv #atsv imagines #atsv x reader #atsv x you #atsv x y/n #spiderman across the spiderverse #spiderman across the spiderverse x reader

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prefrontal-bastard · 3 months ago

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I have a theory that one of the main significant differences between "neurotypical" brains and other neurotypes, is that neurotypical folks get their dopamine from the act of completing tasks, whereas other neurotypes may not.

For me, I get my dopamine from the process of discovery that happens during tasks—completing the task itself is not where I derive a sense of satisfaction from.

If my theory is correct, then is makes total sense why neurotypical folks can basically checklist their way into success: Checking off the box is what feels gratifying, so it's just a matter of lining up a gummy-bear trail of tasks to complete that results in their desired long-term outcomes.

And because neurotypicals also make up the majority of people (which makes sense from an evolutionary standpoint), this would also explain why the way our society operates revolves around completing tasks and following schedules, from schools to businesses to all forms of organization tips and tricks I've seen online. The checklists are not just a task-organization tool—they're also the incentivizing force.

But I need to let y'all know though, that this modality is a sysiphean nightmare for me, as someone who's neurodivergent.

Like I said, I get the dopamine from figuring shit out and learning how a thing works. I have a lot of skills and a lot of understanding of hidden clockwork of things for this reason. If I feel positively motivated to complete a task, it's simply because it's needed in order for me to discover something. It's tangential to the process.

Recently I've been figuring out how to optimize my schedule and the way I get shit done to account for this mechanic of discovery, instead of trying to coerce myself into believing that I should enjoy doing tasks for the sake of doing them. I don't. Be nice if I did but here we are. But this doesn't mean that I can't find other ways to derive gratification from completing them—it just can't be the way that works for the majority.

The pitfall though is that I'm basically trying to invent a methodology for this that doesn't rely on the mechanic of "getting dopamine from completing the task" as the driving force behind it. Every sort of thing I see online doesn't provide any other incentive it seems. (It also doesn't help that there's this narrative floating around, that people who don't enjoy completing tasks are simply unmotivated or undisciplined. I could say the same about people who are not interested in gutting the clockwork of how everything works, and it would be just as flippant.)

I'm sure there's a lot of other neurotypes out there that get their dopamine from places other than the ones I've mentioned, and I have a theory it correlates to what was successful in hunter-gatherer societies. But I think I'll leave that for another post.

#brain things #neurodivergent #neurology

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