#I've been either super hard at work on work projects

[bcdrawsandwrites]

[ID: A Team Fortress 2 fanfic banner in the style of the game’s achievement icons. Pyro and Spy's hands, holding a lighter and a cigarette respectively, are shown on a dark gray background. Their hands and the flame on the lighter are orange, while the lighter and cigarette are a mix of yellow-white and dark gray. The lighter is lighting Spy's cigarette. On the left of the banner is the chapter’s title in yellow-white, reading “CHAPTER NINE: GOT A LIGHT?” /end ID]

Flickering

Fandom: Team Fortress 2 Rating: K+ Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Friendship Characters: Spy, Pyro, Sniper, various other mercs Warnings: General references to trauma, panic attacks, TF2-typical violence Fic Description: After the events of the comics, the mercs try to go back to how things were, but it’s never that easy.

Spy can see his teammates going through their own struggles… but something seems to be very, very wrong with Pyro in particular.

And since no one else seems to be doing anything about this, Spy makes it his mission to get to the bottom of what is troubling Pyro. For no particular reason.

Beta Readers: @mechmolar, @gonturan0, @junuve

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Chapter 9: Got a Light? Summary: In which Pyro lends a borrowed lighter.

---~~~---

Another day, another pointless battle.

Spy was still getting paid, and he'd actually gone home the previous night to sleep in his own bed for once, so he couldn't complain.

This match was a simple payload, and they were defending against the BLU team. Everyone was getting ready in spawn, including Spy, who was sharpening his butterfly knife. Sniper, as well, was off in a corner sharpening his blade, though Spy couldn't tell where his eyes were looking due to his sunglasses, and he looked away from him, casting a glance instead at Medic and Heavy. Amusingly, Archimedes was perched on one of Heavy's fingers, cocking his head at the merc, who laughed in response. Demo and Soldier were preparing their sticky- and rocket-launchers respectively, while Engineer was running Pyro through some strategy he had planned. Pyro was nodding along, paying attention, it seemed.

When Engineer finished talking and went to select a wrench, Spy approached Pyro. "Starting to feel better, are we?"

Pyro looked up, startled, but slowly nodded.

"Good. Perhaps this match may yield more color for you."

It had no response for this, only watching Spy as he moved to the starting gate. Spy paid the Pyro no mind—he would like to concentrate more on the match, for once. He might check on it once or twice, but it usually did well enough in the matches without his help.

Once the gates opened, Spy hurried out toward the BLU team's base. He activated his Cloak and Dagger as he waited for the other team's gates to open, and listened, hoping to catch any sort of planning from the opposite team. Unfortunately, all he could hear was the sounds of whooping and laughter as the other team wasted time. The rest of his team got into position, waiting to ambush the BLU team when the gates opened.

When they finally did, Spy rushed forward and de-cloaked, backstabbing a soldier before he got the chance to turn around. There was then a soft click behind him—one he was all too familiar with, and that made him strain to run faster. Not fast enough, unfortunately, as the sound of a blast preceded an intense heat on his back. "Fire, fire, fire!" he screamed, bolting for the small stream just outside the BLU base, but his own Pyro reached him first, sending an air blast that wiped out the flames instantly. He gave Pyro a grateful nod, though all he could think was that someone had better swiftly kill him before the match was over so the respawn would fix his suit.

He was so consumed with this thought that he nearly missed when Pyro nodded back with the tiniest hum of acknowledgement. It only registered when Pyro ran past him to air blast the respawned soldier's rocket back into the enemy base.

Spy left the Pyro to it, heading for the payload but making a quick detour to hide and disguise himself first.

"Oy, lad," came a voice, and he realized Demo was nearby, readying to launch himself. "I didn't know ye were capable of smilin' with that fancy suit a' yours burnt to a crisp."

"Merely thinking of the revenge I'm plotting on the freak that set me aflame," Spy lied, whipping out his disguise kit. He selected the soldier that Pyro had taken out as he would be stuck in spawn for a while longer, and hurried back out into the fray.

The match progressed as usual. In a mixed blessing, Spy got his wish, and was taken out by a sniper. That was about the only good thing that could be said for the time being, as the BLU team was approaching the third checkpoint, inching even closer to their base.

Spotting Engineer struggling to haul his toolbox ahead of the BLU team, Spy whipped behind cover, turned invisible, and crept into the tunnel and behind the enemy, backstabbing the heavy that had nearly taken out the Engineer.

"Much obliged," Engineer panted as he rushed out of the tunnel. In a matter of moments he had the sentry up, and it mowed down the BLUs that were making their way out.

For once, the battleground was quiet—or quieter than usual. Spy crept behind cover again, waiting for the other team to rear their ugly heads, and watching for any signs of the enemy spy. The others were watching as well, Engineer occasionally swinging at the air in case the spy neared his sentry, Scout holding his bat at the ready, Medic preparing his ubercharge near Heavy.

The silence went on for what felt like longer than it should have, and the mercs couldn't help but exchange a few baffled glances. It was Scout who broke the relative silence:

"Well, where are they? They give up, or—?"

As though in response, a distant, wild scream echoed through the tunnel.

"Guess we scared 'em," Soldier said, leaning back with a toothy grin.

Spy, however, cast a look around the battlefield, taking note of their teammates. He did a quick headcount; the only ones he couldn't spot were Sniper—who was likely in a nest somewhere—and Pyro.

Before he could think on that further, there was another shout from the tunnel, which preceded the scream of a rocket that Scout narrowly dodged. Spy's heart hammered as adrenaline filled his veins, and he went invisible, bolting out of his hiding spot to creep behind the oncoming enemy lines. Several BLUs were scrambling out of the tunnel, directly into the sentry fire. Only the last two—a scout and a demo—balked before coming in range of the sentry. Spy had his sights on the demo, but paused when they looked back before looking at the tunnel's exit again.

"That sentry's gonna cream us, but I ain't goin' back there," the scout said with a shudder.

"It's dead now, lad," the demo replied, though his voice trembled.

"You sure? After that, I ain't gonna be surprised if it rises from the dead and—"

"Don't say that!"

Spy frowned—they seemed to be talking about Pyro. It must have really been throwing its all into the fight—more so than it had prior, somehow.

"Listen, lad," the demo continued, "I don't want to die like that again to that—"

"Then die like this to my knife," Spy whispered, decloaking behind the demo and backstabbing him.

"WOAH!" the scout cried, reeling back, and Spy backed up, whipping out his gun. For a brief moment he hesitated—the outfit was a blue mirror to their own Scout, but that was the same for all of them. This wasn't his Scout, this wasn't—

The scout's bat came down, knocking the gun out of his hand. But just as the young man drew the weapon back with a smug chuckle, an arrow shot through his skull, sending him careening to the ground.

Letting out a breath, Spy scrambled for his weapon and grit his teeth. Foolish.

While he'd been distracted with the demo and scout, the enemy spy had managed to sap their sentry, and the enemy heavy had survived the previous fire, taking out Engineer. Spy went invisible just as the BLU pyro swung around the corner. He narrowly dodged the flames, only for a jar to shatter on his back, shorting out his watch. "Oh, for—" was all he managed to get out before a rocket slammed into him, splattering his reeking remains on the side of the tunnel.

When Spy came out of respawn, the first thing that came to him was relief at no longer being covered in jarate. His second was the realization that he was not alone.

"...right? You're all right now, Smokey."

Engineer and Pyro were standing near one of the spawn exits. Engineer had a hand reaching out to Pyro, but he came short of touching it. Meanwhile, Pyro's head was lowered, but it was shaking itself before straightening.

"All right, there you go. Get on out there!"

Pyro nodded, hurrying out the door, while Engineer hung back, scratching his head. When Spy approached him, the Engineer looked back, and Spy raised an eyebrow pointedly.

Engineer sighed. "When I respawned here, it was freaking out. Dunno how long it had been there."

"Was it having an... episode of some sort?"

"Think so. It was sittin' there and breathin' real hard, clawin' at its throat."

So it hadn't just been fighting harder than normal. Something must have set off one of its episodes, which obviously freaked the BLUs out. "Well, it's fine now, but I'm not so sure about us. Let's move." With that, Spy hurried out of spawn, the Engineer at his heels.

Upon arriving at the cart, however, he found the tides of the battle had turned once again as the rest of the team was successfully pushing the BLUs—and their cart—back. It didn't take eleven pointless PHDs to see why.

"I'll be," Engineer murmured as he came to a stop beside Spy.

Pyro was charging at the BLUs, who were fleeing before its pilot light was even lit.

With a snort, Spy skirted around the edge of the battlefield, scoping out another hiding spot for the time being. Perhaps they weren't doing so badly after all.

Both teams continued to trade blows for a while, but the BLUs were hindered by their focus on Pyro, only making a true push once it was taken out again. Unfortunately this didn't last much longer, and the enemy team seemed to eventually lose its fear of the Pyro as the match continued as normal.

It was a good while before the RED barely came out the victor. The humiliation round was a great deal shorter than usual, fortunately, as their foes bolted the second their time was up. Spy managed to pick off the enemy pyro, much to his satisfaction, while Demo let out a whoop at blasting the heavy to bits. The rest fled in terror, barely escaping Pyro, who chased them through the tunnel before turning back.

Everyone returned to their base, tired but more-or-less happy. There was no noisy party tonight, though Demo did buy drinks as usual. When he shoved a bottle at Spy, however, Spy held up a hand in protest. "I don't plan on crashing my car on the way home," he said.

Demo waved him off. "Ah, drivin' sober's for the weak," he spat, before offering a bottle to Engineer.

Rolling his eyes, Spy moved past them and toward the barracks. He stepped into his room, scanned it, then nodded—nothing here he needed to bring home. He hadn't been in his smoking room today, so there was nothing that needed checking there. While there was technically nothing preventing him from leaving, he found himself heading into the lounge regardless. A baseball game flickered on the TV set, which Scout and Soldier watched animatedly. Demo, Sniper, and Engineer were drinking together on the couch, while Heavy and Medic sat on opposite sides of the room, which baffled Spy until he heard Medic make an odd cooing noise at his pigeon. Archimedes perked up and took off, zipping across the room over to Heavy, who held out his finger for him to land on. The bird looked at him expectantly before flying back over to Medic, and looping back and forth a few times until Heavy followed him across the room.

"Hey, could you get your freakin' bird out of the way?" Scout took off his cap to examine it for a second; it was clean, but he shot a glare at Heavy and Medic anyway. "Some of us are tryin' to watch the game!"

"No," Medic said simply, and smiled as Heavy approached. "Good work, Archimedes." He offered the bird a small handful of seeds, which Archimedes pecked at greedily. "Now, again!"

Heavy returned to his seat with a laugh, and their little game started over.

Spy watched a moment longer before realizing that Pyro was nowhere to be found. Frowning, he passed through the lounge and headed for the base's exit, only to pause when he realized he was being followed. He didn't need to look back to know whom it was. "What is it now, bushman?"

Sniper drew closer, though Spy refused to look at him. "You choked out there."

An image of the BLU scout flashed through his mind. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said, and resumed walking.

“I think you do.”

“And what would you know about that?”

Behind him, Sniper sputtered before letting out a growl, blurting out, "It happens every time I step in water."

Spy paused.

"My heart starts hammerin' and it's like—it's like I'm there again, in that bloody bunker, waitin' to be blasted in the chest and not wake up in respawn."

Something the Medic had said came to mind. "Shellshock."

"Yeah." Sniper went quiet for a moment. "I'm not the only one."

"Obviously not. Why are you wasting my time with this?"

"...Look, mate." Sniper inched closer, his voice lowering. "You weren't alone in that hallway, back in that robot base."

Spy's eyes widened. His lungs inhaled the fumes from the burning robots, and his breath caught in his throat.

"You're not the only one who saw Scout—"

Something bolted down his spine, his face felt hot, and he whirled around before he could stop himself. "You leave Jeremy out of this!"

Sniper stepped back, holding his hands up.

It took Spy a moment to realize he'd shouted. His head was burning and his breathing was heavy, and Sniper was staring at him, his expression unreadable behind those stupid, tacky—

He whirled around, and stormed out of the base, nearly missing when Scout poked his head around the corner. "Yo, someone talkin' about me?"

As he stepped out onto the porch—which had been rebuilt after the bread monster incident—the warm twilight greeted him, practically scalding against what little skin he had exposed. Letting out a hissing breath, he leaned against the wooden railing, staring down past the tracks below. His breathing still came heavily as he thought of multiple ways he could kill the Sniper—planting a knife into his back, shooting him in the head, knocking him out of one of his stupid sniper nests...

The acrid smoke from the robots was still filling his lungs, and he longed to exchange it for a different kind of smoke. The next thing he knew, he had pulled out a cigarette, and his hand once again tried to grab a lighter that was not there. Stupid—he had more of them at home, but he kept forgetting—how could he forget, he smoked every day, how could he do this—how could he choke out on the—

A soft hum shattered through his frantic thoughts, and he jumped, nearly dropping the cigarette into the gorge below. But the following familiar click made him realize what was being offered, and he held out his cigarette gratefully.

At his side, the Pyro held out the lighter.

Spy stared at it before lighting his cigarette, and took a long drag. The familiar taste and burn eased his racing mind, and he held it in for a moment before breathing it out. "Merci," he sighed.

Pyro nodded.

After waiting for his racing heart to calm a bit more, Spy looked back at the Pyro, then examined the deck. A few chairs sat out here, and the floor was littered with ashes. "Is this where you've been hiding out?"

Again, Pyro nodded.

"I see. Not so bad now, since it's stopped smelling like spoiled bread," Spy remarked. Though now that he thought about it, it did have another odd smell around here, aside from the toxic waste barrels below. "And what have you been up to?"

Pyro whipped out a wooden kebab stick that it had evidently swiped from the kitchen, flicked open its lighter, and set the stick aflame. It gave off a distinct cedar odor. Ah, that explained the smell.

"Yes, fascinating," he muttered. Though he had to admit, it was oddly hypnotic watching the fire slowly eat away at the wood. But he shook himself. "Pyro, during our match today..."

Looking up, the Pyro stared directly into his eyes. It tilted its head very slightly to the right.

"Did something... happen? I couldn't help but notice you seemed... distressed when you came out of respawn."

Pyro continued to stare. Without looking away, it snapped the still-burning stick in half, dropped it, and whirled back around to face the railing.

"Merde!" Spy hissed, stamping out the fire before the deck was set ablaze. "Fine! I'm sorry I asked."

If the Pyro heard him, it didn't acknowledge it; it only stared out at the tracks below, the same as Spy had done earlier. Its hands held the railing in a tight grip.

Spy sighed. "You could have indicated you didn't wish to discuss—" He cut himself off, realizing abruptly what this whole conversation was sounding like. Imagining himself stabbing his knife straight through Sniper's stupid sunglasses, he turned away.

A shaky hum made him pause.

Looking back, he saw Pyro looking over its shoulder, back toward him.

Frowning, Spy approached the Pyro again, standing beside it. "You do wish to discuss it, then?" he ventured.

Pyro looked back down at the tracks, but did not protest.

"Something happened, then." Obviously. He pulled his cigarette away for a moment, breathing out a stream of smoke. "Was it something the BLU team did?"

Pyro nodded, then shook its head.

Spy sighed. "I see." He didn't, but he thought it over for a moment. "It was not... solely what the BLU team did. There were other factors?"

Pyro nodded.

Okay, they were getting somewhere. Not very far, but it was something. "Are you able to articulate what it was?"

This time it tilted its head one way, then the other. Uncertain, then.

"Whatever you did gave them quite the scare," he remarked, trying to keep some levity in his voice.

To his surprise, the Pyro shivered in response.

"You were scared, too?" he guessed.

Pyro nodded, then balled its hands into fists, pounding them against the railing.

"Scared and angry." When Pyro nodded, Spy hummed. It made sense, he supposed, based on what he'd seen. If Pyro was scared and angry, like a caged animal, it would follow that it would be savage enough to terrify the enemy team. "Well, you're no longer scared and angry, are you?"

Pyro tipped its head.

"You made something positive of it, no? You were quite effective against the BLU team today."

Sighing, it shook its head, and turned away.

So much for that route. Spy dropped his cigarette butt to the ground, lightly stomped on it, and kicked it off the porch. "Well, whatever caused your episode, I suppose we can hope it won't happen again." When the Pyro did not respond, he turned to leave, only to pause. "Have you had any luck with your colors, lately?"

Pyro made no further noise or gesture, so Spy sighed and began making his way back into the base. There wasn't much else to be gained from hanging around here.

As he was stepping back through the door, however, he heard a soft hum from behind him, and stiffened when someone grabbed his wrist. "What?!" he cried, and turned to see the Pyro shoving some crumpled-up sheet into his hand. This accomplished, it let him go, and he yanked his hand away. "...Merci," he grumbled, and stared down at the paper. Perhaps it wanted him to throw the scrap away for it. Snorting, he stormed out through the door, shoving the paper into a pocket, his thoughts only on returning home.

Spy headed out to his car in the darkening lot and entered it, prepared to leave the base for the night. But, feeling the paper in his pocket, he frowned, realizing he hadn't tossed it as he was heading out. Though... come to think of it, why had Pyro not simply burnt it itself, if it wanted it disposed of? Brow furrowed, he pulled out the paper again and, after a moment of hesitation, smoothed it out.

It was a transparent scrap of tracing paper that had been ripped off of a larger sheet, and it was covered in crayon scrawls. After a moment, Spy recognized it as something Pyro had drawn a few days ago—a lineup of the mercs. In spite of the childish medium, it was well-drawn, with each of the mercenaries being broken down into comprehensive shapes and simple colors—more triangular and pointy shapes for the Sniper, boxy shapes for the Heavy, rounder shapes for the Engineer, and so on. Even he himself was depicted with pointier shapes, though not in an unflattering way. But something struck him, and he squinted at the drawing in the dim light before punching on an overhead light switch.

The mercenaries were all rendered in color, but for most of them, it was not their standard colors. Engineer seemed the exception to this, being rendered with the most accurate colors to how he appeared in real life—or as close as crayons could get, anyway. Soldier was fairly bright as well, though with tinges of gray on him. Further down the line, some of them appeared with more colors than others. Sniper especially seemed mostly gray, but then... at the very end of the lineup, Spy stared at the drawing of Pyro and himself.

Both of them had been rendered in nothing but shades of black and gray.

[steampoweredskeleton]

.

Ignore

[kedreeva]

Okay so, I don't think I've spoken of the saga here yet but! Gather round. I shall tell you a long story about the bird I just acquired and why she is VERY IMPORTANT.

At the beginning of last fall, I started looking into quail genetics a little more, because I got tired of not being able to sex my Celadon quail by their feathers. Originally I thought I could kill 2 birds (ok maybe more) with 1 stone and order nice jumbo wild type (which MANY places advertised as wild type jumbo) hatching eggs, and this would help me put some size on the Celadons (jumbo) while also making them feather sexable (wild type). Perfect!

But then I come to find out that pretty much all jumbo lines are jumbo BROWNS, as in they all have the sex linked brown (SLB) gene. So, I was a little confused and a LOT annoyed because I wanted to work specifically with the wild type color/pattern. No mutations just straight, plain wild type.

And EVERYWHERE I looked - major production hatcheries, private breeders through websites, Facebook groups, local swaps, craigslist, e v e r y w h e r e -

People ONLY had SLB.

This spring I came across a video showing about the differences between SLB and wild type and I figured if the person who made it can tell, maybe she will have some. So I looked her up (not in a stalker way, her farm name was stamped on the video and took me to the website), and what luck! She was in Michigan! Upper Michigan, so still a hike, but not California, y'know?

So I shot her an email and explained that I was looking for WT and that her site said she bred them and that people could do local pickup. She responded yeah she's totally got a bunch! And I said great, I'm also in Michigan, albeit far away, but I don't mind driving 7+ hours each way, because I really need actual, trusted WT for sure birds for my celadon project, can I come pick them up?

Cue the most frankly bizarre email chain in my short life. As soon as I mentioned that I was going to drive, or perhaps that I had a genetics plan in place, she got super sketchy and started saying how she hadn't really paid as close attention to SLB vs. WT, that it mattered less than she thought it would when she started, that I shouldn't focus on that either, and also that "fawn celadon is practically unheard of" in the hobby and "you should focus on a clean Tibetan because it's hard to find without roux in it) implying that I should concentrate on those things instead. And concluded by telling me if I really want WT, to contact this other person (why happens to be someone I can't stand). It all sounded VERY much like she didn't have wild type males, after all, and had thought I didn't know the difference so it wouldn't actually matter. But, it does. It actually matters a lot to me.

So I messaged back to say, well, I don't want to do any of those things, I specifically want to work with this set of genetics and you said you have them so I shouldn't have to go to anyone else??

And then she went radio silent for a week. I kind of figured I'd called a bluff, and that she was one of dozens of people I'd contacted who'd said they had WT only to find out they had SLB. I get that it's difficult to see the difference, but this particular person was the president of the American Coturnix Breeders Association or whatever (found out it's actually just a club formed by her and her friends a year ago, so not as impressive as it sounds, considering they don't actually DO anything- no putting on shows, no newsletters, no certifications, no public breeder directory, no finished SOP, nada), so I kind of expected she should know what she's talking about, if anyone does.

Eventually, after a week, she responded that she had been judging at a county fair, but she had a few heterozygous males (WT het roux, which is fine) and she could set a hatch for me for more if I wanted to come at the end of the month, but she's in WI now, not MI. I said sure, since where she was in WI was actually closer than where she'd been in the UP, and we arranged date/time.

The day of, my neighbor friend, Jude, comes with me for company/keeping me awake through the 15 hours driving round trip. It's a pleasant enough drive. We arrived at a cutesy little house on the edge of town that looks like anyone's house in a neighborhood, with a spacious lawn. The person meets us and takes me around the side of the house to a 6x6x1.5 or so chicken tractor, where she's got some male coturnix. She pulls the available males for me to look through and... fam, they ALL looked SLB, to me.

Now, she swore to me up and down that they couldn't be anything except WT het for roux, because of the way she is breeding them. But I've put these birds next to my SLB males and if I didn't have my males banded, I would not ever have told the difference between them. I still picked up 4 of them, because I will give it a go- worst case, I can produce plain Roux hens/plain Roux males for use in breeding later, best case they do actually produce WT hens and they just LOOK SLB and I have to figure out what the differences are. I don't want to leave without seeing her hens, which she has told me are all WT (which is why the males HAVE to be het for it), and she takes me back. Now the hens, the hens are easy to see the difference. White bellies first of all, but the chest feathers are also wildly different! The shafts are white, the dot around the shaft is dark, ringed in red, ringed in white. On an SLB, the shafts aren't white, it's just a black dot surrounded in a red feather, and the belly is all red/buff/cream, not white.

This is what an SLB hen looks like:

So I take a nice long look to memorize the color, and thank her for showing me and meeting, and we head back home.

I do fecals when I get home because all of the males are VERY thin, no meat on them at all, and since she said she'd been feeding Purina (garbage for fowl feeds), I figured that was why, but no- HUGE coccidia loads in all of them. So I treated them and got them on a better feed. They immediately began putting on meat, and they're find now.

The rest of this summer, I have spent going to local bird swaps and inspecting all of the quail I could find, hoping to find one (1) actual wild-type phenotype bird. Hundreds and hundreds of birds, I have pawed through them all, being super obnoxious to the owners I'm sure, holding and inspecting males. I found ONE suspected WT male (and this is a HUGE "suspected," he could very well be SLB with low red expression). I compared him when I got home and I'm doubting myself still, so I don't know if I will ever actually pair him with the SLB hens or if I'll just wait til I have a roux set.

Regardless, it's been a dry season for getting what I want. It's been a dry YEAR. Yesterday was another swap and more hundreds of quail and me pawing through all of them.

Until.

My eyes landed upon.... her.

If you've only lived in an area that has american crows and not ravens, you find yourself wondering if crows are ravens. You see a big crow and you think wow! maybe that is a raven! It could be a crow, but it's seems bigger so maybe it's a raven. But, if you take a trip to a place with ravens, and you see one for the first time, you realize that there is no question, when you see a raven. When you see a raven in person, there's no question and not only is there no question, you wonder how you could ever have thought a crow was a raven. It's laughable, while looking at the raven.

That's how finding this bird felt. I'd been picking up every SLB hen and going maybe this is actually WT? It could be SLB but maybe it's WT? But the second I laid eyes on her in the middle of a pack of SLB with some mixed colors, I knew I was looking at WT hen, and I can't imagine how I ever thought maybe an SLB hen was WT.

Here's a better photo of her chest and belly (she's beat UP from her previous home, the back of her head and most of her rump are plucked clean from males). You can see the white shafts and the white belly.

And some other pics of her, showing the grey-brown on her side and back- VERY different than the SLB hens

I can't express how stoked I am about this bird. This is the first time after a LOT of effort and time, that I have felt confident I am holding the bird I want.

She's also the indicator that I have a LOT of work ahead of me.

My end goal is to have birds that look like her, weigh 12-14oz, and lay large, blue eggs. I have birds that lay large, blue eggs, I have birds that weigh 12-14oz live weigh, and now I have at least 1 bird that looks like her, which means I can make more that look like her. The first step is cleaning the color mutations out of the celadon line without losing the celadon eggs. This is going to be a bit of a nightmare, BUT, I have a friend helping me out with getting a few celadons that are either WT or SLB (I'm guessing SLB all things considered) to start the work with. I will work over the winter to get a few more actual WT birds here, and to start crossing out the celadons with the SLB jumbos to clean out the other feather color mutations. Once I'm down to just SLB and celadon for mutations, I can clean the SLB out with the WT and roux lines.

This project will likely take me a good 2 years, maybe 3, to complete and then test breed to ensure I haven't lost the celadon gene and I don't have any hidden recessives lingering about. But just having the fucking materials to do it all on hand now is a huge step forward from where I was when I decided to start the project.

[rebouks]

Forever In Between - Invictus

Robin appears to have stumbled into a rather nightmarish situation and it’s up to you to ensure he makes it out alive. If he dies-.. well, maybe that’s it, or maybe he just wakes up, or maybe he won’t die at all?! Probably best not to find out the hard way though, right?

Invictus is a multiple-choice Halloween special based on Until Dawn, various other classic horror games, a teensy bit (read: a lot) of brain rot, and an overactive imagination; mine or Robin’s, you decide.

I know that creepy, slightly gory things aren't for everyone so below is a list of potential trigger warnings and if you want to sit this one out you can block the tag "fib invictus" and we'll pick up where we left off storywise in November! 🖤🧡

creepy dolls, various monsters, weapons, blood, death, murder, corpses, fighting, injuries, needles, electrocution, experimentation (not the good kind) and general peril!

As a side warning: I will be continuing with regular previous/next links as it's still technically part of the story, though I will provide a link to skip past it all when the time comes, so look out for that when normal posts resume! My usual mon-fri schedule will probs go out the window too as some posts will have votes that last a day so I'll either take the day between those off or post later than usual idk we'll see what happens 🤸‍♀️

Last but not least I'd like to give some shout outs to those that've helped me during this process 🖤

Props to @softpine for some of the Until Dawn assets used and for inspo from this post! 🧡

To @sirianasims for helping me find ridiculous amounts of disgusting, amazing cc and generally spit balling ideas with me from the very start 🤸‍♀️

A big thank you to @zosa95 for being my beta reader, listening to me witter about this project since fkin forever ago and sharing my excitement 🤗

Thanks to everyone in the story server for putting up with numerous out of context screenies and for enduring my whinging about how tired I've been recently skdjsk.. particularly @lynzishell @hannahssimblr @madebycoffee @daniigh0ul and @sirianasims for consistently cheering me on when I was pooped 💩

Okok last LAST but not least, some rambling.. I've been busy with this project in the background since the end of July and keeping up with regular story nonsense whilst working on this and adulting in between was NOT it 😅 (if you noticed my regular posts lacking in their usual vibrancy no u didn't.. but ur also right cos i've had to be super lazy with it recently to keep up with two things at once, so SORRY! fkjfk)

Anyway, hopefully it's worth it, I had a lot of fun making this special and I'm pretty proud of it so I hope everyone enjoys our October shenanigans this year! Maybe I'll find some time to make some gifts for simblreen but I'm not promising anything cos I'm eepy.. maybe my gift this year is just danger and violence instead ehehe 👻🔪

[huellitaa]

2♡25: first quarter wrap-up! ୭🩰🐈‍⬛✧

this year, i've sectioned it out into quarters; the first, second, third, and fourth, for each three months. rather than going all in with the goals and ambitions for this year to just spread them out randomly through the year, or worse, be constantly forgetting to update them every month, something i am VERY guilty of, splitting it into manageable yet productive sections! i'd recommend this to anyone with consistency issues; it's never too late to start! ♡

.⁺ ♡ FIRST QUARTER: PROGRESS 💬🐈‍⬛🎀 ❜❜ ♡

👛𓂃 ࣪˖ inner

♡ definitely gotten braver over these past few months. i've been so much more bolder than i ever have been and i love it

♡ super bad depressive episode for majority of march (but i've handled it surprisingly well! ♡)

♡ <- went back to weekly therapy sessions

♡ worked on solidifying my self image and handling insecurities better

⊹˚. 💄beauty

♡ began exploring more types of makeup

♡ started using hair and body oil (100% noticed improvement! ♡)

♡ tried out a new haircut (jellyfish bangs! ♡)

♡ started dry brushing before showers

🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ social

♡ somehow got the most beautiful girlfriend in the world??????????? what the freak???????????ily ♡ ♡ ♡

♡ got into sum serious drama with an ex-best friend! yikes!

though this was SO stressful, it was a learning curve and gave me some really helpful insight actually into how female friendships (and malicious liars) can work. i'm grateful for the memories and the experiences she taught me, but i NEVER wanna see this girl again 😭 i love my real friends who stick by me no matter what u guys are the real ones (you know who you are.)

♡ achieved my life goal of going to a tubatu concert!!!!!!!!!!! ♡ ♡ ♡

♡ made new friends!!!!!!!!! ♡

♡ balancing my social life and my mental health better than i ever have been

♡ went to an anime & gaming con ♡

it was so super fun!!! i've always been way too shy to go to one of these things but i am always gonna be a loser at heart, so i took the opportunity and it's one of my favourite things i've done this year! little me would be so happy ♡

♡ still rewiring my mindset towards social situations (any progress is progress! ♡)

♡ gotten less scared of wearing what i want and indulging in & finding my own style in public! (little me would be so proud ♡)

⊹˚. 🐈‍⬛ academic

♡ scored 46/75 on my phase 2 maths exam (61%)

i was actually aiming to get 60% on this test!!!! i got exactly 50% last time and i'm not the best at these exams, so i'm still super proud of myself and am aiming for somewhere near 70% for phase 3 ♡

♡ placed highest in my class (again!) for term 3 english assessment ♡

♡ scored 37/50 on biology exam

♡ scored 38/50 on chemistry exam

♡ scored 45/50 on physics exam ♡

♡ got some of the highest science grades in my class! ♡

for the 3 tests altogether, i got 120/150, which is 80% in total! i was so shocked when i calculated it all, considering on the phase 1 exams i got 78/150, so 52% in total. i wasn't expecting such a huge improvement, but i studied hard, and it paid off! (would you guys like to see a post on what i did??? ♡)

♡ got my first detention ????????? what the freak

🩰𓂃 ࣪˖ artistry

♡ worked on my first proper clothing project (going beautifully ♡)

♡ began learning coding! (going super well!!!! ♡)

♡ painted for the first time in a little while

♡ gotten super into drawing and reading again

♡ actually started learning to cook!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♡ (iykyk.)

♡ working on magazine business card designs and fashion designs

.⁺ ♡ SECOND QUARTER: AMBITIONS 💬🐈‍⬛🎀 ❜❜ ♡

⊹˚. 💄inner

♡ set up some real routines

consistency and discipline is something i've always struggled with because i can never seem to find a healthy enough balance for either of them . i want to focus on this throughout all of the second quarter, but specifically lay out some routines in april.

♡ dig into more uncomfortable sides of my mental landscape

somethign that goes hand in hand with my consistency issues is that i always forget to make time for the less glamorous stuff. i wanted to focus a lot on looking into the more unpretty sides of my mental state and beginning to work on those, as they are something i often avoid.

👛𓂃 ࣪˖ beauty

♡ pilates.

with my theme of consistency for this quarter, i wanted to add in a part i have ALWAYS procrastinated. 2023 pilates summer was PEAK and we're gonna make 2025 spring-summer pilates even better ♡

⊹˚. 🐈‍⬛ social

my social life is honestly doing amazing at the moment, so i don't think i have anything to add right now ♡

🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ academic

same as social; nothing to add here right now! ♡

⊹˚. 🩰 future

♡ financial management / money control!

aka i NEED to stop impulse buying the moment i have money😭😭😭

♡ look into work experience for the summer

i heard some of my friends are doing it this summer, and i didn't know i was able to do it, so i'm gonna look into it!!! third quarter here i come 😼😼😼

♡ continue learning coding & sewing

all my love! 🎀💬🐈‍⬛️🫶🏻🩷

[shellyfirebug]

Dr. Xeno is a Sleep Deprived Lunatic

Something I wish was more clear in the anime is just how bad the bags under Xeno's eyes are. Specifically in the flashback before petrification day. I mean, LOOK AT THIS!

Dude is either...

a) Super stressed

b) Uber depressed

c) Getting only 2 hours of sleep

d) All of the above

Not gonna lie, I kinda relate to him. Not the dictator part (duh), but just being done with everyone around you. There have been moments where I feel like I'm the only one giving it my all. Obviously, this is never true, but I'm not considering facts or perspectives when I'm tired and cranky. I don't think most people are. This is why I like the addition of the scene in the anime where Xeno is trying to get his project approved and being denied.

It shows that he was definitely TRYING to make a difference and push for new things.

His bio implies that he was a lot like Senku when it came to playing with machinery as a kid. The biggest difference is where Senku makes a static electricity ray to scare away his bullies, Xeno would make a modified gun. Both say very different things.

Senku: Shut up! Science is awesome and here's why! Look! I'm like Static Shock!

Xeno: I'll make a gun that drills into your head if you don't shut up and let me make cool shit.

I bring this up to remind myself and everyone else that XENO WAS NEVER AN ANGEL!!! He got arrested for making MODIFIED GUNS!! FOR PETE'S SAKE! He kept trying to get his 10 year old student into making missles and bio-weapons! I can't stress this enough! Senku's more like a 'Bill Nye' type while Xeno was more of a 'Tony Stark before Ironman'.

WITH THAT SAID! Xeno was trying to work with the system and constantly being told no. That can bring anyone's mood down. Especially when everyone around you is telling you how smart and talented you are.

"If you think that, then why do you keep shutting down my ideas?!"

The sad part is I think he got a bit more motivated after mentoring Senku. He probably studied Japanese just so he could communicate with him easier (not officially stated tmk, but heavily implied). Xeno probably found a new spark to keep trying to push new projects after talking to his pupil. I'd be jaded too if my ideas got beaten to the curb. Especially after a sudden burst of inspiration.

Finally, that brings me to this scene.

When I first saw this, my first thought was, "DOES NOBODY SEE THIS AS A RED FLAG?!! HELLO?!!!!!" But after I stopped to think. I've definitely said weird things like this before. Heck, I've seen a lot of people say things like this. Mostly stuff like "I'm going to burn this place to the ground someday." I usually only say this when I'm super tired, cranky, or was recently talked down to by a colleague. I never actually mean it! (I'd hope no one does), but sometimes you let the intrusive thoughts leak out. And Xeno was definitely leaning hard into that thought/fantasy! Based on everyone's reaction to Xeno's response, this is definitely not the first time he's said shit like this. I can believe that his coworkers were just thinking, "Looks like Xeno's in one of his moods again (laugh track)." However, if they saw his 'Science is power' message to Senku, THAT is WAAAAY more of a red flag!!!

"Oh. Oh! Oh, he's serious! Yeah, we should bring this up with HR. He might need an intervention."

Getting back to the suitcases we call his bagged eyes...

Not sleeping enough can screw with your emotional senses big time! And something tells me he wasn't a sensitive person to begin with. Not narcissistic but definitely had a superiority complex that just kept getting worse over time. The intrusive thoughts became fantasy. But he still wasn't dangerous, just really needed to go on a trip with his husband on a honeymoon. Dude needed R&R. Send that man to Hawaii! Make him hibernate! Idk, DO SOMETHING!! He was probably running on nothing but coffee beans and spite at that point! And even when he turned to stone for 3,700 years, HE STILL WASN'T SLEEPING!! GET THIS MAN SOME MELATONIN!! MY GOD!!!

Remember, kids! Go to bed on time, or you might become a power-hungry dictator!

[kaelie-quill]

Writeblr Intro

This feels super awkward to do but I'm putting myself out there for better or worse, so! I go by Kaelie on here, I am 22, Queer, and go by she/her pronouns. I've been on writeblr on and off since I was maybe fifteen but haven't touched it in four years. I am now 22 and for most of those four years I have been plagued by my current WIP, currently called Project Genesis. I've only just recently forced myself to really sit and try to get it out of my head.

I'm kind of ashamed to admit that the only book I ever finished was a warrior cats fan fiction I wrote when I was twelve (It was like forty chapters, I wrote it by hand in a notebook and I let someone take it home and read it one time and it haunts me) Everything since then has either been abandoned and never even made it out of the planning stage.

For the last four years I've been super stressed and in a super bad mental state and had no time to truly sit and try to write anything and if I did I thought it was absolute trash and it kinda made me hate writing. I even stopped reading despite being obsessed with books from the moment I could read, but in the last year and a half I have rediscovered my love for reading and now I want to try writing again.

Project Genesis is meant to be a multi-book high fantasy series with horror elements (maybe, I've not read many horror books and have little experience writing it. Any tips on writing horror, or good horror books to read would be much appreciated) It's got alternating POVs, basically everybody is queer, lots of religious imagery (maybe only if you squint, but I swear sometimes I feel like I'm just ripping off the Bible)

Despite existing for almost for almost four years its hard to describe what it's actually about? The first book at least is a dual POV about one character denying and running from their destiny to avoid becoming a sacrificial lamb, and another character trying to carve out a destiny for himself when he's not meant to have one (not in a 'he's supposed to be dead' way but in a 'you're life isn't supposed to have any affect on the world' kinda way)

It is currently in early planning stages, I'm working on a zero draft and outline before really hunkering down to try a first draft. I don't know how this is gonna go as far as like updates? I'm really just kinda using this as motivation, like if I talk about and say I'm doing it I can keep myself accountable and not just drift away from this like so many others. I expect it to all be horrible but so long as it's something I can go back and make it better. Thanks for reading! 👋🏻

[daggerandrose]

If my 1d moots haven’t noticed recently, I’ve been focusing more on the 911 lone star fandom than 1d especially when it comes to fics.

I think it's the combination of the boys being in the middle of their projects and Liam's death still sinking in, but I’ve struggled to bring myself to read a 1d fic for a while. I’ve saved a ton to my tbr, but I’m currently finding joy with tarlos fics.

Even though 28th appreciation started to highlight fan works in the 1d fandom, I’m going to extend the love to lone star because I’ve found so much happiness and comfort with this fandom and these fics.

As always, please leave comments/kudos!

🚒 The Ticket, 3.8k, by @goodways

“Can I be there when you tell Carlos you broke the law?” Marjan asks like it’s her idea of an ideal weekend. “Yeah, I bet he might know the cop that pulled you over,” Judd suggests. TK braces himself with one arm on the rig. “Carlos was the cop that pulled me over.” Everyone looks at him in stunned silence. “Damn,” Paul says. “That’s cold.” * TK gets a speeding ticket and is not very happy about it.

🚒 Knight in Shining Armor, 5.2k, by @doublel27

"God, look at him. So young." "Kid's a hero too apparently. Heard he got hurt saving a little boy." "He would have been better off if they'd never brought him back from that cardiac out in the snow." "Yep, now he gets to torture the friends and family for another three days." "Three days? I've seen one go for three weeks." [...] "Well, either way, at this point it's a matter of when, not..." or The morning after TK wakes up, the nurses from the previous day are back. Carlos is not having it. A story told in two parts.

🚒 so sick of online love, 7k, by @strandnreyes

When Carlos met TK, he knew for a fact he was never going to have to worry about the dating scene again. He didn’t foresee having to patrol various dating apps in order to catch a criminal, or that his husband would be so invested in ensuring Carlos is a total catch for the single men of Austin.

🚒 Come Sail Away, 26.4k, by @chicgeekgirl89

When the crew of the super yacht Firebug finds themselves in need of a new chef, stew Iris Blake is quick to provide them with a solution: her ex, Carlos Reyes. Second stew T.K. Strand is prepared to share his cabin with their new chef, but he is not prepared for how quickly Carlos Reyes heats things up in the galley. Will their boatmance set sail? Or will it sink to the bottom of the Caribbean Sea?

🚒 fake it till you make it, 33.4k, by falloutmars

“We should get married,” Carlos says, glancing fleetingly over the frame of his glasses at TK. Within a second, he’s looking back at his book, his finger toying with the corner of the next page as if he didn’t just drop that bomb. His tone is casual; that’s what hits TK. He might as well have shrugged with it as if to say “eh, whatever” when TK doesn’t think his heart has ever beat this hard and fast. It’s racing. It would be impossible to count because it’s practically thudding at the speed of light, but he sits next to his best friend on the sofa, his legs thrown over Carlos’ lap and a blanket over them both, and pretends this is completely normal. — in which Carlos suggests marriage to his best friend with a whole host of logical reasons and TK can't seem to say no. A fake marriage journey.

🚒 secret moments in a crowded room, 52.2k, by @strandnreyes

The greatest performance of their careers is the one the public has no clue about. Or, the Golden Age of Hollywood AU

🚒 Never Too Late, 66.1k, by @welcometololaland

Beautiful, serious and studious Carlos Reyes has incredible college grades and a lacklustre love life. Unfortunately for his younger sister, family rules dictate that she can’t bring her boyfriend to their older sister's wedding unless Carlos brings a date. A plan is hatched, the scene is set and strings are pulled to orchestrate a romance. However, Romeo comes in the form of TK Strand, and TK's never been particularly good at following the script of a love story. OR The Tarlos adaptation of 10 Things I Hate About You.

🚒 Somewhere in a Song, 123k, by @paperstorm

Fresh out of rehab for drug and alcohol addiction, lead singer TK and his band Stranded are pushed into a tour he's not sure he's ready for. To combat the bad press from his very public hitting of rock bottom, his label suggests they take up-and-coming country singer Carlos along with them. Between TK's still healing wounds and closeted Carlos's fears that his parents don't support his musical career, a rocky start might turn into finding exactly what they both need.

🚒 Teach You How Forever Feels, 132k, by @three-drink-amy

Alone and struggling in New York after the death of his mother, TK is left with custody of his five-year-old brother, Jonah. With Owen's encouragement, TK moves to Austin for a fresh start, questioning every move he makes as he's thrust into the role of parenthood. But it all leads him to Jonah's new school where he meets Carlos Reyes, the kindergarten teacher. Between pick up and school meetings and chance run ins, TK can't help but feel something for him, even though he knows it can't happen.

🚒 Love Game, 142.9k, by @welcometololaland

Love Game: when a player wins a game without allowing their opponent to score a single point. Since that fateful US Open semi-final, there have been two words used to describe TK Strand: 'unfulfilled potential'. There's a chance for redemption in there somewhere, and TK is willing to do whatever it takes to fight his way back. Carlos Reyes finds himself in New York City due to the widely held belief that although he's rocketed up the ATP rankings, he'll never be good enough training out of Austin. Carlos might be Austin all the way down to his bones, but he also wants to win. OR The tennis AU that no one asked for, but I wrote anyway, because I love tennis and I also love feelings.

[maxwell-grant]

The Penguin Ep3 - "Bliss" Breakdown

oh

(Episode 1) (Episode 2) (Episode 4) (Episode 5) (Episode 6) (Episode 7) (Episode 8)

So that's what Victor's image in the credits was meant to represent the whole time. A still of him inside the last memory he has of his home, his perspective on the window before it all went to shit.

I get that it might have been obvious the opening was a flashback given the election was still ongoing and given we get to see Vic's friend, the one who was shot by Sofia, still alive, but they also peppered enough bits that hade me fully convinced we were just watching Victor's present life when he was out of earshot from Oz. The bombs were a genuine shocker.

Credit to @davidmann95 for pointing out that the rooftop pebbles are Victor's equivalent of the Crime Alley pearls, an extremely important detail to add to the other Batman parallels Victor's gonna be shown having in this episode.

I'm loving a lot of the choices that go into Oz's outfits and specifically what kind of outfits he wears around specific characters, the whole chameleon thing he's got going personality-wise reflective in his choice of wear, and I like how this extends to the people around him and his choice of vehicle and base and everything. He may not wear fine suits everywhere and for all occasions, but this is very much a Penguin concerned about fashion particularities and branding and ways to dress up himself and the people acting in his behalf.

This scene where Oz pays Victor is funny, but it importantly sets up an element that's gonna come into play regarding their relationship by the end of the episode, that is how hard Oz projects on Victor and how much of his insecurity and need for affection comes through in his attempts to deal with the kid. Two episodes in after all the shit Victor's done for Oz and it's the first time we're seeing Oz talk about giving him a salary. It's not an unusual comedy beat, sadly not a real life one either, but the thing is, Oz is not a cheapskate, far from it. Across the last two episodes, he's been very quick to fork over cash to smooth over negotiations, and he's more than happy to pay the kid and praise him for demanding double (even if he shuts down the idea), it just genuinely never occurred to him until the moment that, right, the kid whose job is driving me around and burying bodies and putting his neck on the line for me needs a paycheck, of course, he's gonna get a nice thousand per week because I'm a good boss who does that kind of thing.

Nice little reminder of the class disparity element of the show, in how Sofia looks at Oz's set-up and dismisses as tacky garbage, while Graciela calls it bougie and thinks Victor's basically set if his boss is letting him crash in a place like that. Also illustrated in the money scene earlier, because from what I've researched, a thousand per week is an average salary for a driver in New Jersey (which is where this Gotham is located), and despite Oz calling it a start, Victor's already shocked at how much money Oz is paying per week. Just these totally different conceptions of what money and good living entail across the board for our characters. SPEAKING OF totally different standards,

So it turns out that Sofia has been planning her own meteoric ascension into ruler of Gotham for about as long as Oz, and more effectively at that, and if there's anything this episode will establish for sure about her, it's that Sofia Falcone is an actual supervillain the way Oz is still some ways from being. Alberto's shipment wasn't the ticket for the two of them, just for Oz, and Sofia just needed him to drive her around and open the door once more.

Oz the whole time basically happy with running a club and pushing dope out of a warehouse to the point of crying to her in the end that it was the best thing that ever happened to him, while Sofia here casually unveils a Gus Fring hidden meth lab with a mushroom forest full of Arkham Super Drugs and another Batman Villain working out in the backroom to produce them. Oz spent the last years ass kissing and spinning plates and seizing his own little levers of power all over Gotham, while Sofia was enduring soul-redefining torment entrenched inside the Supervillain Factory of the world where she would discover and pillage the tool that would let her conquer the city in one swoop.

A tool that she debuts before the underworld with an intimidating yet casual speech, above the city writhing before her and falling by the minute into her grasp, before casually leaving and telling her grunt to wrap up negotiations for her. The Riddler showed Gotham what a supervillain is and can do, a call to the maladjusted victims and freaks everywhere to grab their masks and bombs and get in the action because this is how the world works now that Batman exists, but Sofia here shows us not just a different way the rot spreads across the city, not just a way in which Arkham can become the other force filling in the power vacuum, but that being a supervillain is also a business model every respectable criminal in the city is gonna have to get on board with real fucking quick.

I love/hate that we get to have a few scenes of Sofia and Oz working together and how good they are, glad they could at least give us those before everything gets turbofucked forever further.

I definitely encourage you to keep up with the Penguin podcast, and particularly the latest episode where they talk with Rhenzy Feliz and fluency consultant Marc Winski, where they go over the thought and care that went into depicting Victor's stutter and incorporating it into the character and show, it's a very insightful conversation.

Oz's empathy for people with disabilities shows up in him complaining at the waiter for speaking over Victor, and later in their scene with Johnny Viti when he berates him for calling her a psycho, and is consistent with lots of other little moments where it's come up. I like that this is a consistent thing with Oz, and not just one of the things he does for show - even when he's complaining about Sofia to Victor, he never disparages her based on mental illness, he calls her uptight and elusive and a problem he wants off his back, but he never insults her the way all the other mobsters do.

Even in the bathroom scene by the end of the episode, where he does lose his patience and rushes Victor to explain himself, only happens after they've reached a boiling point. I do think it's important, for his character and role, that Oz maintains some important principles, even if they are still self-serving.

Again, love how the show knows just when to drop the Penguin name to maximize hurt on Oz.

What a fucking show Farrell and Miloti and Feliz give us in this episode.

I said back when the trailers dropped that Sofia Falcone looked like she was going to be the prestige crime drama protagonist that this show would have if it wasn't about The Penguin, and that's the vibe you get out of these two together. She is the tormented HBO leading lady and he is the charismatic side character, he is her driver with a wacky voice and face that bites it tragically to motivate her revenge / bites it after the reveal of how he backstabbed her. Which is exactly where the Falcones liked him, that funny guy in a supporting role who drives them around and runs their club and digs up their graves, and it's partially how their last scene in the episode plays out.

"Yeah I know I ruined your entire life and led to irreparable damage to your mind and sanity and reputation and all that, but I really wanted a little piece of the action as a nightclub owner, is that so bad?" is a confession that Oz only survives because he's the main character. In any other show, him bearing the depths of his embarassing pathetic soul to Sofia like that would be the last thing he does before dying, tragically or cathartically.

But to his credit, it worked. Sofia actually sheds a tear for him. It's the first time Oz has seemed genuinely honest with her, and more importantly, it's the first time anyone has been honest with Sofia ever since she got back from Arkham. She really has no one else she can possibly trust but the least trustworthy person on the planet. Who on Earth could possibly be willing to make an ass of themselves before her like that if they weren't being truthful?

Lauren LeFranc: You know, I think Oz is a bit of a walking contradiction and I think he deeply believes what he believes in that moment. I think he genuinely feels that way. Also understands the benefit of her being on his side at the same time. Right? Like, if she doesn't believe in him, their operation currently goes to hell. Not to say that he's playing that up, I think that is a moment of genuine emotion from him. But I also think for a man like him, he's not quite sure where it begins and ends. He doesn't believe that it's bullshit. That doesn't mean that it's not. Like, I don't know if he can even identify it or if, honestly, if Oz takes the time to unpack that. He's not a guy who's like, "Hmm, let me think about my actions today.", you know? - The Penguin Podcast: Episode 3

I'm extremely curious as to what the Sofia-Oz dynamic is gonna look like in the rearview. Does he have enough of a lid on his temper to fake that masterfully being offended on Sofia's behalf while playing her attack dog? Does he genuinely regret that she got sent to Arkham over whatever he did? I think this and the ending scene go a long way in pending towards either way and that's interesting to me. Even if 90% of what he says is bullshit there's some of that regret / kinship that feels genuine

I am very curious to see what becomes of Eve and what more will we learn about her. She seems to be Oz's second-in-command when it comes to businesses he does with her and the girls, and I like that the girls and Victor form a personal squad for Oz (and crucially, he's promising all of them a bigger slice of the pie when he becomes a big shot, and just as crucially, all of them have massive targets on their back right now).

It is genuinely funny how appalled and offended Oz is, at the idea that maybe the kid he roped into this with a gun to the head only stuck around out of fear, not because the kid thinks he's a great guy giving him a chance. I call him the Michael Scott of crime and I mean it. But like most funny things about the Penguin it also has something sad and lonely and pathetic and human about it, the ever present disconnect between the gentleman he wants to be and the thug he acts like.

Like with the salary thing, it just did not cross his head at any moment prior to this, not when he threatened to kill the people he cared about or openly argued with Vic whether to shoot him and stuff him in a trunk, not when threatening to gut him like a fish for messing up or spilling his secrets or telling him to lie with corpses, that Vic was sincerely scared of him and his power and did not leave because he feared this known gangster would do exactly what he said he was going to do. To Oz, doing those things to "his guy" now would be unthinkable, but the question that Vic wanted to leave never even popped in his mind.

And it makes him genuinely upset. That scene at the bar, where he is fully alone, sad and tired with his drink, tired from all the plates he's had to spin and all the indignities he's endured and still endures, tired from all the hats he's had to wear, and sad because the only person so far he's been able to let down his guard around, the one person with whom he could at least wear a hat he liked just bailed on him.

Of course he'd never kill Vic for just wanting to leave, once he realizes that this is actually a factor in how Victor views him and obviously he'd be a bad boss if he did that. Of course he gets angry at Victor for wanting to throw away an opportunity given to him that Oz would have (and probably has) killed for, he's giving Victor the kind of help he desperately wishes he got and he's gonna throw it away? Of course he gets shocked at being reminded Victor is a guy with needs, a guy that Oz holds lethal power over, and not just a kid version of Oz that he can live out his Rex Calabrese fantasy by helping out and mentoring. And of course, none of the cruel and hurtful things he says to Victor before he leaves would sting if there wasn't just enough of a bitter truth to them, or at least, enough of it to stick with Victor.

What an excellent scene Victor's panic attack was, totally get why it was the editor's favorite

I was waiting for a Victor-centric episode and was not dissappointed, this is the episode where he first comes on his own as a character and we see how crucially important he is to the show, the from-the-bottom ground floor perspective on everything that Reeves and LeFranc have repeteadly defined the project around. I love getting to see such an on-the-ground perspective of how fucking monstrous Riddler's plan was, and the kind of lives it ruined. This poor kid thrust headfirst into a Batman/Robin origin story and situation.

It's like Feliz said in the podcast, the end of the episode is the first time we've ever seen Victor, and maybe the first time Victor's ever seen himself, outside of survival mode, outside of simply living to try and get to next hour and do what his parents/Oz tell him to, which is a painfully real state to be in for anyone who's dealt with poverty growing up or is dealing with poverty right now. It's the first time he really has an opportunity to decide on his own what he's going to do on his own. As much as we may know he's making a doomed choice, that he really should just hop on the first bus out of Gotham and join his girlfriend in the sun, well, he's a Batman character, he doesn't get to do that.

Victor wants to live his life and protect himself and the people he loves and make good choices and be a good person, but on a deep fundamental level, he just wants his family back, he wants his dad back, he wants to do right by them more so than by himself, even if that means doing things they would find detestable. Like the son of a doctor, a son who now chooses to inflict violence every night if it means he can avenge their memory, here we have the son of a nurse presented with a choice: He gets to honor the intentions of his parents by dying as a well-meaning decent nobody like they did, or he gets to make up for the shame of how they died by living a good life, one which was denied to them, by surviving and thriving as a criminal. He gets to honor their ideals, or get back at the shameful cruel reality of how they died, but he cannot do both. So he makes his choice.

Oz, in this episode, burns nearly every single bridge he has: with the Falcone family, with the Maronis, and with Sofia, and he even does it with Victor. If Victor hadn't come back, Oz would have died on that parking lot, and still Oz is ecstatic that his guy's come back, because all he wants is for someone to like him enough to stick around with him. Victor is not so sure he's not in for a horrible time now, but in his own way, he also burned his bridges, and he also got what he wanted.

Okay Vic, you wanted dad to not take shit from others and shoot for a better life, you got a dad who will teach you to do just that. You wanted to pal around with small-time criminals you were friends with even if your parents insisted otherwise, well, the king of hoodlums is the only guy you have left in your life now.

You have committed yourself body and soul to a dangerous life within the city you love, spurred on by the tragic injustice that took your parents in an event that destroyed your entire world? Great, welcome to Gotham, here's even a new name you get out of it.

[catlovergirl676]

Headcanons for Ellis Twilight with a clingy mc part 1 : (the mc is only shy at first, but becomes super clingy and confident later on)

Disclaimer: Not fully canon-compliant, I'm projecting my own thoughts and feelings onto the mc, the mc here is referred to as "Mc" and not the default name "Kate", and since those are headcanons, Ellis' playful side is fully put on display

------------------------------------

How your relationship started:

It had only been a few weeks since your arrival in the organization known as Crown and you still felt a bit nervous around Ellis due to the... incident from day one.

You noticed how quickly and sincerely the man with twilight eyes tried to be as friendly and welcoming as possible. It became clear to you that this was his way to help you feel more at ease within Crown's walls and his presence. And you appreciated the gesture, no doubt.

But, you also found yourself wishing that Victor hadn't interrupted your very first morning with Ellis and hadn't come up with the idea of "fake dating" in the first place. After all, Her Majesty's aide had the annoying tendency to meddle into other people's private moments. Nonetheless, you somehow weren't completely against Victor's plan either.

....

You didn't know how, but Ellis already managed to steal your heart. You were absolutely head over heels for him, but couldn't stand the "fake" aspect of this dating thing suggested by Victor. So, you decided it was time to confess your true feelings to the handsome man made of twilight. You hoped he would reciprocate the romantic feelings you harbor towards him. (But, unbeknownst to you, you'd become happier after this day.

You took a chance and asked Ellis to come with you to the garden (the spot where you usually spent time together when Ellis wasn't on missions nor working for Jude). He gracefully accepted your request and followed you until you both got there.

"Ellis", you spoke, staring into his beautiful twilight eyes, which never failed to mesmerize you. "I...", you tried to speak, but you were tongue-tied from how nervous you felt.

He turned to look at you and gently moved a strand of hair away from your face. Which made you blush slightly.

"What's wrong, Mc?", Ellis asked gently. "Are you feeling okay? You aren't usually this nervous around me."

You nodded your head in response. "You're right...", your voice trailed off.

You held his hands in yours. "I'm not used to having such deep and intense feelings for anyone. Which is why... I..."

Ellis wasn't sure if he understood your words accurately, but he thought it'd be better to let you tell him (whatever it was that made you feel so flustered...) on your own.

"Take your time, Mc.", Ellis said softly in an attempt to reassure you. "No one is here to bother us this time, and I'm not going anywhere."

"Okay...", you took a deep breath and mentally prepared yourself for your confession. "Ellis... what I'm trying so hard to tell you is that I've fallen for you. And I want to be your girlfriend for real. But, that is if you feel the same as me..."

"Silly, Mc." He put a finger on your lips to interrupt your rambling. The action made your face turn red like a tomato and you pouted due to his words.

"Please don't pout. You might like what what I have to say if you listen to me.", he spoke to you in a playful tone laced with concern.

"Alright.", you relented. "But, you better not be messing with me."

"Of course not.", Ellis told you sincerely. "Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, you aren't the only one with uncontrollable romantic feelings here?"

Huh? What?, you thought. How could be so lucky?! You were still processing his confession. Your eyes and your face held both giddiness and surprise.

'So adorable', he thought to himself. Ellis got lost in his thoughts while thinking of you and he couldn't help coming closer to you.

"Hello, Earth to Mc.", he tapped your nose. "I wasn't done just yet."

"Ah. You mean, you're going to kiss me?", you pondered.

"Clever as ever.", Ellis teased you again, thoroughly enjoying the look of utter confusion and slight fluster on your face. "All I want from you is a little kiss."

You got even closer to him until your noses were touching. There was no turning back. You couldn't allow your shyness (towards romance) to ruin this moment. So, you leaned in and waited patiently, knowing that good things will come your way. (You were too shy to initiate the kiss first.)

Your wait was instantly rewarded : Ellis kissed you tenderly gor a bit and then let you go.

Your smile was so bright and full of happiness that he thought you were the sun. His sun.

"Well, I guess that means we're dating now.", he smiled back just as brightly.

"Should we tell the others?", you wondered.

"No need.", he whispered. "They will find out on their own eventually. And, besides, let's just take our time. Shall we?"

"I'd love that!", you replied happily. "I'm looking forward to spending more time with you."

(There'll be a part 2, don't worry ;)).

[childrenofcain-if]

Hello, Axel, I'm a big fan of all your works and have been following you since the first blog you had of What Lovely Bones. I'm super excited about this new book and it really looks like you've found your niche and moved along with it so far.

I've always felt that you were a great writer and you've only gotten better over the years, I sometimes feel like a proud sibling because I've been here since you were nineteen and you're now twenty one, if I'm not mistaken 😅

Ok I'm rambling now so let me get to what I wanted to ask: how does your writing process go and do you have a schedule to work with. I really don't want you to feel burnt out over things in the future like you did with your other projects

wow, we have an og here, it seems. glad to have you onboard for what’s been like 3 years now (i think)!

i wouldn’t say that i have a particular ‘niche’ when it comes to genres and whatnot, but it’s not very surprising to see the assumptions either. i’ve been decently motivated to write this story and have been very productive without burning myself out so no writer’s block on the horizon yet, but i won’t jinx myself.

i don’t think i have a specific writing schedule, to answer your questions. my creative juices flow freely sometimes or just remain stagnant the other times. i do write my ideas down when they come to me so i won’t forget about them later. but i’ve also learned that you just can’t force yourself to write when your brain is running low on motivation or ideas.

it’s a five-step process for me when i do decide to write:

review the notes which includes the ideas i previously jotted down sporadically.

adjust them to how it might fit onto the scenes that i’m writing.

connect the ideas and assign characters, choices, and ultimately the consequences of said choices.

talk to myself for the dialogues and note them down as well, laughing to myself like an escapee from a psych ward and patting myself on the back for particularly witty one-liners.

black out while typing and later gain consciousness with a terrible back pain, hands cramping up, and at least 5-10k word count per writing session.

a lot of these ideas will never see the light of the day—e.g.: MC getting hit by a hockey stick so hard that they get a concussion and can’t hear out of their right ear—but they do serve as a runway for other ideas to take off.

if i had any advice to give writers, it’s to just. write. it. down. maybe you think it’s irrelevant/weird when the ideas first come to you, but by that point you already have the foundations ready. all you have to do now is to adjust it and build up on it.

[artbyblastweave]

Recently, for contingent life reasons, I've been watching two relatively recent sitcoms- Girls5eva and Abbott Elementary.

I'll start with Girls5eva, which I found to be a fascinating piece, and an instance of the currently-in-motion wave of works aesthetically inspired by and picking apart the culture of the early 2000s. The elevator pitch is that the surviving members of Girls5eva, a manufactured Y2k girl-group act, reunite in their middle age and attempt to stage a comeback after their one-hit wonder gets sampled by an artist who gets on the Tonight Show.

One noteworthy thing about the show is how it averts a phenomenon that @argumate observed sometime back, where fiction about artists who we're supposed to understand as either good or popular- usually have to awkwardly paper over actually depicting the art that got them popular, because if the production team could produce art that good, they'd just be doing that- and this results in ten-second clips of extremely generic music that we just extend charity to as a prop before we get to the actual story being told. In contrast, Girls5eva has Sara Bareilles, Renee Elise Goldsberry, and several other talented singer/songwriters attached to the project, and crucially neither this specific fictional band, or the moment in music that they're a pastiche of, is meant to be understood as good. The result is a couple albums worth of extremely catchy parody music that's deliberately only slightly too clever to pass as genuine Top 40 dreck. It's neat. Also, there's a really fun called shot with one of the lineup having died badly and vapidly down similar lines to what happened to that guy from One Direction. Not really a called shot, actually that's just the rate at which that happens to people caught in those industry gears. It sucks. Anyway I think that Abbott Elementary is big enough on Tumblr already that it doesn't merit the same elevator pitch. It isn't, to me, as laugh-out-loud funny. It's.... fine. It's the Parks and Rec/The Office formula applied to teachers (or, if you want to be uncharitable, Brooklyn 99 for teachers.) It's certainly not toothless- It's written from a place of familiarity with underresourced teachers forced to work under criminally incompetent but well-connected administrators. But at the end of the day it's a show that's cripplingly aware that it's about people who do a Hard But Important Job, and that lends itself to a lot of deferential feel good aesops about that Hard but Important Job. The double edged sword here, right, is that I actually agree with the show that being a teacher is super fucking important, and a consequence of that is that when these people are some combination of obnoxious or bad at their jobs, it hits way closer to home than when characters in other sitcoms do it. Here it just reminds me of people I actually knew. I think that they're aware of that potential fail-state, and their answer to it is that these characters are significantly more dialed back in their behavior than the casts on the other mockumentaries. But that, in turn, can feel a little tepid- you only even begin to approach Parks-and-Rec levels of eccentricity with characters we're supposed to find contemptable.

The thing is that a significant portion of the comedic power of The Office is drawn from the fact that Dundler-Mifflen is a failing company, right? It's funny because Michael and Dwight are so bizarrely militantly devoted to a flagging company in a flagging industry whose high level management keep offing themselves or dying in freak accidents. It's funny because it doesn't matter- allowing for levels of incompetence and apathy that would be criminal elsewhere to be kooky and endearing. And this is where the advantage is firmly in Girls5eva's court- that show is under no impression that the world is a better place for the subject industry of the show existing. Exploitative girl bands don't need to exist, we aren't going to need to have a national conversation about how to reform girl bands because we do need that in some capacity the way we need education. The question of what success looks like if you're in a Y2k girl band in your 40s, what possible win condition there could be, is the background radiation of the show- and as a consequence the show simply has way more leeway to be really, really entertainingly omnidirectionally mean. Chemical warfare beauty treatments and and fraud and psychological warfare and my favorite fake reality show gag of all time, American Warrior Singer.

[callmearcturus]

@vmprsm replied to your post “Raw MKV rip of Mission Impossible: Fallout:...”:

Theoretically, if one wanted their own copies of the MI movies safely on a hard drive....where would one go?

​I mean, there is a site where you can acquire a lot of movies via torrent. I tend to use (rot13) 1337k.gb and I got a heavily discounted Windscribe VPN subscription that I use on almost all of my devices.

But my thing is that... I want commentary reels and special features, and sometimes you'll download a movie but the fucking subtitles are either bad or they become desynced over time and I haaaaate it.

So I've been gathering bits and pieces over the past year to get a Plex system going in my house and it works like a fucking DREAM. But it requires some investment. If you just want to have a few local copies of your favorite movies, this is way overkill. But me, I am canceling all of my family's streaming services and pivoting to our Plex.

So what I have for actually getting the files:

I don't have this model but it's similar to this, a Pioneer External Blu-ray Reader. It sits on a little shelf and is connected to my PC by a USB cable. (I think I got mine for around 68 bucks so you can wait for a sale.)

I use MakeMKV which will rip the big honking raw files from a Blu-ray and leave them as matroshka (.mkv) files.

Because these raw files are ENORMOUS, I compress them in Handbrake. Handbrake is wildly powerful, can convert file formats and make them super small. I have my Handbrake set up special to dump all the non-English language subtitles and audio tracks to save space.

(SUPER BONUS TIP FOR HANDBRAKE: If you have a dedicated GPU, you can give Handbrake permission to use it, and it'll compress shit literally 10x faster, love it.)

At the moment, I am using a Western Digital portable 5TB external harddrive because it was one sale and I couldn't beat the price. Eventually, I want to upgrade to two 10TB HDDs so I can keep a full backup of everything I'm ripping. Because this is a bit of a time and energy commitment and I don't wanna lose all my progress here!

At first I was running Plex off my desktop PC and that worked totally fine, but my family hates having to touch my desktop to wake it up every time, so I very recently grabbed one of these guys:

This is a Beelink Mini PC S12 Pro. It is small enough to fit in my hand but it is a speedy little demon that runs Windows 11. (And eventually I am gonna use it to firewall out ads from our entire home network, I'm pumped for that project but ANYWAY.)

The upside of these mini boys is that instead of being a hefty workhorse like my main computer, this is small and has a low-power draw.

So I moved my Plex Media Server to the mini PC, plugged in my 5TB drive of movies, and now everyone in the house can easily stream anything I have added to the library.

This is what it looks like, if you're curious. Any device in the house that runs Plex and is signed in can select any movie or TV show I have and just watch it like it was Netflix or something.

A month ago, I has like.... 65 movies? Now I'm ripping a few and we're gonna break 100 soon.

"But Arc, where do you get so many blurays!"

My local library.

When I lived in Broward County, FL, I had an extravagantly wonderful library system. Tax dollars at fucking WORK, y'all. Now I live in Georgia and the library system is not nearly as good, but I have still gotten my hands on a frankly ridiculous amount of blurays. Every week I'm picking up 3 to 10 movies or shows, taking them home, making good copies, and returning them.

All of this is an investment and it is work. But as someone who built my computer, built my keyboard, cracked my 3DS and PS Vita-- this is fun to me! This is what I love to do. And through doing it, I've seen more movies in the past year than the last ten years put together.

So yeah, I can't recommend this to everyone, but if you wanna get out of your subscriptions and to just have high quality shit on demand, this is what I'm doing.

Cannot stress this enough tho, if this seems interesting to you: wait for sales. All the components here go on steep sale if you wait patiently. Take your time assembling the parts and keep in mind that shit is modular, you can upgrade parts later.

[kajtekmakesthings]

A quick, simple, and slightly unusual visible mend today.

There's a hole in the sleeve of my raincoat that I've been having trouble fixing. It's a ragged tear maybe 1"x0.5", on the outside of the forearm exactly where I'm most likely to lean/scrape it on stuff.

I initially tried fixing it with a standard adhesive waterproof fabric patch, which lasted about a month before it started peeling off from one end.

I tried another patch from the same set, but this time applied silicone-based seam sealer around the edges to keep them from lifting off. This lasted less than 24 hours.

I went snowboarding the next day, when (I'm guessing) the sub-zero temperatures fucked up the adhesive, and the patch started slipping. This is when I discovered that the seam sealer was sticking to the jacket just fine, but didn't stick to the patch. The patch peeled off completely, leaving a ring of silicone goop surrounding the hole. Awesome. Today, I scraped off the seam sealer with a metal modeling tool, which was easier than I'd feared and didn't affect the fabric beyond some very light surface abrasion marks. The integrity of the coat isn't affected, and I'm not super fussed over aesthetics -- this is my work jacket that I wear for glamorous work like scrubbing bird poop off outdoor art installations and digging drainage trenches at festivals.

I cut a new patch from some "waterproof "outdoor" nylon I'd bought (it's a fairly tight weave with a waterproof membrane on the back) and zigzag stitched it over the hole to make sure it wasn't going anywhere.

Since I don't trust the silicone seam sealer anymore, I needed another way to waterproof the stitching.

I picked up a few metres of this iron-on reflective tape a while back for my hi-viz vest project. When I tested it on the neon yellow nylon I'd bought for making fluorescent strips, I noticed that it made a really solid bond where the reflective tape fused to the fabric with no hard edges. I've used it a bunch since then and successfully ironed it over stitching a few times, with good results.

So I finished this repair by copying the shape of the patch onto the back of the reflective tape transfer paper, and then drawing a vague donut shape around it that covered all of the stitching and extended about a quarter inch to either side. I cut this out and ironed it on. It bonded nicely to both my jacket and the patch fabric, and evenly covered all of the stitches.

We'll see how it holds up to abrasion over time, but I'm really happy with this version. It's the sturdiest version of this mend by far, and I like the little reflective detail I ended up with (plus, now I'm slightly less likely to get hit by a car on my right-hand side).

[obsessivestar]

'What If It's All A RomCom?' - a Ted Nivison x Reader

{{-Fun fact about this chapter: I had to rewatch the beginning of Ted's Rainforest video because I wanted my description of the L.A. Rainforest Cafe to be accurate lmao you're welcome-}}

//General Warnings: 18+ Fix (MINORS DNI), Reader is implied to be afab and under 5'5

//Chapter Warnings: Suggestive conversation in the truck? I guess?

Word Count: 4.6k (I need to slow the fuck down lmao)

☆▪︎▪︎▪︎Taglist!▪︎▪︎▪︎☆

@k-k0129 , @callsign-scully & @limecorpse

☆Love Ya To Death!☆

Chapter 17: The Rainforest Cafe

Another 2 days pass and before I know it, we're halfway through the 2nd week. Everyone's been talking about how fast these weeks have been flying by and I mean, we only have about one and a half yet, but I don't know. These weeks have felt a lot longer to me, in a good way! I've enjoyed my time with everyone. Joe, Tanner, Dan, Ted and I have all developed a closeness I wasn't anticipating when I agreed to help with this project. I guess I was already pretty close with Joe and Tanner before this, but we all lived pretty far from each other. It's nice to be able to see them everyday again, like old times. Dan absolutely fits right in, too. I feel like I've known him for a lot longer than just 2 and a half weeks. Turns out, we're into almost the exact same things and he's super chill. He still occasionally apologizes to Ted and I for nearly throwing a football at my head, but it's honestly just funny to think about it now. It's become an inside joke in the friend group.

And then there's Ted. Wonderful, beautiful, fantastic Ted. We're only getting closer and closer as this project goes on. Our chemistry on camera is about as genuine and magnetic as it is off camera, you can see how it grows when we look back on footage from last week, especially comparing the recent kiss scene from yesterday to the first one Ted and I did. That's certainly going to be strange to think about, knowing our very first kiss was filmed. That, and it's going to be on the big screen of a theater, for potentially hundreds of students to view...

And it's probably going to be graded.

Oh christ, our first kiss is going to be graded.

Tanner better get a perfect mark...

Everything's just been...really good these last couple days. Every morning I'd wake up with Ted, it was practically a crime if I were to try and sleep in my own room now. If I stayed in my room for too long the night before, he'd begin knocking on my wall again, just like the first night we stayed at this place. He wouldn't call me, he wouldn't text, he wouldn't come and knock on the door, no. He'd stay in his room and knock on the wall until I caved. He didn't knock anything in Morse code this time, I checked. Guess he only knows how to spell 'cunt'. Jackass.

We'd usually head downstairs for breakfast together and begin filming as soon as we're ready. We filmed 3 more kiss scenes, practically all done on the first take. I had overheard one member of the wardrobe team make a comment about how Ted an I were 'naturals' at this, but it didn't bother me. Didn't seem to bother Ted, either.

At this rate, it's only our fan's and the general public that don't know about our relationship and Ted wants to keep it that way for the rest of the month. I was initially fine with that, but as the days have gone on, it's been a little challenging. I want to post all of the pictures I've taken of us and the group, I wanna put his stupid smile on my Instagram story, I want to show everyone that I bagged Ted fucking Nivison, but I understand where he's coming from, I guess. Despite how far we've gone and how close we are, we've technically only been together for a few days, a week at most. Hard launching this relationship now could take away from the work we're supposed to be doing. I know for a fact I'd get caught up on what our fans think of this, I'm already expecting some sort of backlash simply for being around him. Maybe he's expecting it too, that could be why he's so antsy about it. Either way, he'll have to get over it a little faster than he probably expected to.

As we help clean up downstairs, Tanner makes an interesting suggestion related to the game nights we've been having with Joe and Dan. He wants to play Jackbox again, but he wants to stream it. Tanner started streaming around the time he started college as a fun little side hustle. He's got a comfortably sized fan base of his own, he thought it'd be fun to get the 5 of us on one stream, while we're all still together. He had already talked to Joe and Dan about it and I loved the idea, but Ted wasn't too sure. The three of us started talking about it as I got my makeup done for the day.

"I mean, we don't have to use a facecam if that's what you're worried about.." Tanner spoke, standing at one side of me while Ted stood at the other, making sure not to get in the makeup artists way.

"No, that's not...they'd probably recognize my voice anyways." Ted sounded quite unsure. It was a tone I wasn't really familiar with him having, he's always been rather confident since we've been here. I suppose it was about time I started to see new sides of him. I don't mind it.

"Are you worried I'm using you for views? I promise I'm not. That's just a convenience." Tanner frowned a little, adjusting his glasses.

"No, Tanner--God, you sound like Tucker.." A slight chuckle bubbled out of Ted, bringing his finger and his thumb up to adjust his glasses. "I..."

"It's about me." I decide to speak up, making sure to stay still for the makeup artist. I can tell by the exhale that left Ted that he felt a little bad, but there's no sense in hiding it, I'm part of this conversation too. "He doesn't want his fans to know about me until the end of the project."

"Okay, well, there's a better way to phrase it.." Ted let's out a huff, running his fingers through his tall hair.

"They don't know?" Tanner almost sounded amused by this, a little smirk curling up his mouth.

"Tanner, it's been only 2 weeks, dude." Ted begins to smirk a bit as well, but based on the way his hand is pressing down on the makeup counter, I can tell this conversation is making him anxious. "I'm just--"

"Yeah, but it's also been, like, 2 years." Tanner cut Ted off with a slight scoff, leaning against the counter a bit as well. "You've talked about wanting to meet her for 2 years.."

"Not to my fans."

"Since when do you worry about your fans?"

"I don't--I'm not, I'm just saying--"

"You guys basically have the same fan's anyways.."

"I know, it's not like I don't want to show her off--"

"You wouldn't need to 'show her off', it's just us playing a game, as friends."

"I'm not saying I'd have a problem with that, Tanner, she's--"

"Okay, can we stop talking about me like I'm not here?" I once again cut in on the conversation, sort of raising my hands up to diffuse the tension. If I don't stop them now, they'll keep going. Ted's gonna wanna keep defending himself and Tanner's gonna keep asking questions. It's not that he's trying to pressure Ted, I know that, he just gets antsy when he doesn't understand something. He's also probably worried about my feelings. They're both making some good points, but I would ultimately like Ted to join us for this stream.

"Tanner, I'm alright with this, I promise." I can't turn my head to look at Tanner, but I give a little gesture with my hand so he knows I'm addressing him. "It wouldn't make sense to drop our relationship now, I don't want to take away from this film. We're here for you, not for each other." I can sort of see out of the corner of my eye that Tanner has relaxed a bit, so I lower my one hand and raise the other to now address Ted.

"At the same time, I'd really like you there." I speak to Ted, giving him a little point. "I think it'd be a good thing. I mean, wouldn't it make sense for us to be seen hanging out as friends before we reveal anything? At least that way it's not very sudden." I glance down at the counter to see Ted's grip relax a bit, a quiet sigh leaving him.

"...You're really not worried at all, huh?" Ted spoke up after a small bit of silence, taking his hand off the makeup counter to cross his arms in front of his chest.

"No, I have nothing to worry about, I don't really care." I admit with a slight chuckle and shrug. "The only opinions I care about are the opinions of the people that sleep here every night. You, Tanner, Joe and Dan."

"Y'know we're not gonna be able to flirt? Like at all?" Ted smirks at me.

"That's fine."

"No kissing? No nicknames?"

"I'm perfectly fine not doing that in front of the camera, Ted."

"We can't even cuddle. No cuddling. You cool with that?"

"We didn't even cuddle last time we played Jackbox."

"We kinda did. A little."

"Barely."

"We almost kissed."

"Key word there is 'almost', just don't."

"Yeah, but I'll want to kiss you. It's gonna suck." Ted let's out a playful whine.

"Don't.." I chuckle, shaking my head a little. "We won't be 'together' when we play Jackbox on stream."

"We weren't together last time we played Jackbox."

"Exactly, we'll just act the same way."

I hear another exhale leave Ted, a heavier one this time. I get a brief moment where I can turn to look at him. The moment our eyes meet, he relaxes and gives me a warm smile.

"Alright...I'm in.." He finally concedes and I hear an excited little 'Yes!' from Tanner, who quickly scurries away to go tell Joe and Dan the good news. I can't help but laugh, but quickly go still again when the makeup artist needs me to remain still for lipstick. As I'm looking at myself in the mirror, I feel Ted come around to stand behind me, placing his hands on my shoulders before kneeling down a little to speak into my ear.

"No idea how you do that, but it's pretty hot.." He purrs quietly, that stupid grin spread along his lips.

"Do what? Not give a shit?" I can't help but chuckle as I whisper back, being careful not to move my lips too much. I can't imagine what the makeup artist is thinking, nor do I care.

"Mhmm, it's enticing.." He purrs again, glancing at the makeup artist as she grabs a different tool for my eye makeup.

"Enticing? That's the word you're going with today?" I ask, keeping my eyes on him through the mirror.

"Well, I could just say it's sexy, but...feels too basic for you.."

"...are you really trying to seduce me right now?"

"Yeah.."

"While I'm getting my makeup done? Really?"

"Always.."

"Can I get Ted Nivison to set, please?" I hear a member of the film crew call for him, a little laugh leaving me at the disappointed expression that spreads onto Ted's handsome face.

"Yeah, Ted Nivison to set, please.." I whisper back with a grin. A scoff leaves Ted as he stands up straight.

"If you weren't in this chair, I'd spank you."

"Promises, Promises.."

"Yeah yeah, you'd like that."

"You'd like that."

"Cunt."

"Prick."

Ted snickers to himself as he moves away to head into the other room. I get a look from the makeup artist, which honestly just makes me laugh. Our dynamic must be so strange to these people.

Once she's done my makeup, I'm finally able to stand up and join Ted over by the camera's. We'd be filming the last of the kissing scenes today so we could spend the rest of the week on the ballroom dream sequence. Getting to kiss Ted all day? The perfect day, absolutely the perfect day.

Or...it would've been, anyways.

We get maybe a few takes in before the power suddenly goes out. Not just in the living room, but throughout the entire building. It caught all of us off guard, it wasn't storming or anything outside, it was a clear day, but it was like something just shot within the breaker. Without power, we don't have proper lighting, some of the cameras won't work and we can't even cook. We spend the next few hours of the day trying to contact the owners of the airbnb and the power companies in the area. We get nothing back until it's later in the afternoon, where we find out the power likely won't be on until the day is over. Thank god Tanner overbooked this airbnb, we can afford to lose one day of filming.

The film crew heads home early for the day, leaving the 5 of us here to figure out what we're gonna do for dinner, especially since everything in the kitchen is off, the fridge included. We can't even do the livestream now, the power won't be on until around 8pm, at least that's what we were told. We all sat in the living room on the couch, all of us using data on our phones to find what we were going to order. It was going to be pricey, even if we all pitched in for one thing.

"Anyone feeling like Chinese food?.." Tanner speaks up, looking up from his phone to address everyone.

"I had Chinese yesterday, so probably not.." Dan speaks up, shaking his head a little. "We could do fish, maybe?"

"The closest fish place is like a half an hour away, it'll take forever." Joe frowns, fluffing up the back of his mullet. "I'm not waiting that long for overpriced fish, sorry."

"Do we all have to order from the same place?..." Tanner frowns slightly, sitting up more in his seat.

"It'd be cheaper that way." Joe admits with a little shrug. Ted and I have been relatively quiet during the conversation. We're both leaning back a bit into the corner of the couch, with Ted's arm around my shoulder. We're mostly quiet because we were honestly fine with anything. It's usually Joe and Tanner that are a bit pickier. This time around though, it doesn't seem like anyone can come to an agreement, and none of us feel like dropping over 30 dollars to order separately...

"Why don't we just go out to eat?" Ted speaks up after a few more minutes of everyone bickering, sitting up a bit more on the couch. "I know a place. It'd be cheaper than ordering."

I already know what he wants to suggest, letting out a gentle laugh. This again?

"Oh yeah? What spot?" Tanner curiously perks up, pushing up his glasses.

"You're gonna suggest the fucking Rainforest Cafe, aren't you?" Joe gives Ted a knowing grin, shaking his head in disbelief.

"I'm absolutely suggesting the Rainforest Cafe." Ted adds with a confident smile, giving a little point with the hand around my shoulder.

"Oh sweet, I've never been there before!" Dan's immediately enthusiastic about the idea, bouncing a little on the couch with a big grin. "We should go!"

"I can't believe you still like going there." Joe chuckles, resting his elbow on his knee. "How many did you goto last time? Like 30?"

"18. There's only 18 in North America." Ted spoke, circling a little with his hand.

"Oh yeah, you went to the one in Canada too, right?" Tanner asks, giving a slight head tilt.

"Yeah, Niagara Falls." Ted simply nods. "The one here is relatively close, it's just right in the city."

"Honestly, it's not a bad idea.." I finally speak up with a little shrug, a small smile on my face. "By the time we come back, the power would be back on..." I can't believe I'm agreeing to this, but honestly, I'll eat anything at this point, and it'd be nice to get out for a bit, I suppose.

"Alright, I'm down." Tanner gently slaps his lap as he stands up off the couch, giving Ted little finger guns.

"Yeah, alright." Joe shrugs, slipping his phone into his pocket.

With all of us in agreement, we briefly split off to grab our wallets and to change into anything different if we desire. Ted had packed the Hawaiian shirt he had bought with Eddy during their trip, because of course he did, he probably figured he'd be able to convince us all to go eventually. Dan has a bigger vehicle, so he decides to drive Tanner and Joe while Ted and I go in his Tacoma. Once we're all ready, we head out to our respective rides and pull out of the large driveway. Dan follows behind us as we drive through the suburban area to get to the city.

"Have you ever been?" Ted asks, glancing at me briefly. "To the Rainforest, I mean."

"I think I have? I don't remember." I admit with a small shrug. I couldn't recall if there was one near me growing up. Either way, I was kind of excited. Only kind of. I think I was honestly just excited to be out with Ted again. This probably wasn't a date, but it felt a bit like one, in a weird way. It's the first time we've been out since we got together. I can certainly tell he's excited to bring me, he hasn't stopped grinning since we got in the truck.

"I'll admit, I'm...kinda freakin' out a little.." Ted admits with a soft chuckle, tapping his hands on the wheel as we stop at a red light. "I've been wanting to take you here all week.."

"Really?" I felt my cheeks heat up a little at his admission, turning to look at him fully. "I honestly thought your love for the Rainforest Cafe was a bit.."

"Well, like, half of it is, kinda." Ted admits, turning his head as well to grin at me. "I just like doing things with you, especially outside of work. Like..." Ted pauses for a moment, like he's hesitating to start his next sentence. It's intriguing. "I have this thing where I like to go out and do things with my partner. That's my love language, I've learned. So...when we went out to the mall to replace your wardrobe that one day, and we went to dinner, that was the day I realized I needed to make a move. A real one."

I look a little surprised, but it makes sense. That explains why he came into my room that night. I still wonder if Tanner had actually fallen asleep in his bed that night, or if it was some whack-ass lie that he used to get into my bed. I don't really care either way, if that's the lie he needed to tell to get with me, that's fine.

"That's...really sweet, actually.." I speak up with a warm smile spread along my blushing face. "I'd be happy to have more adventures with you..."

Ted has to look back at the road when the light turns green, making the truck move down the road again. I can see the sparkles in his eyes from my words, a soft, almost suggestive grin curling the corners of his lips up. He puts one hand on the wheel so he can place his free hand on my leg, giving my thigh a little squeeze.

"You're infuriating." Ted shakes his head with a deep chuckle, gliding his tongue along the edges of his top teeth. "You gotta stop doing that, y'know.." I can immediately tell what he's thinking, and it makes me laugh.

"Seriously?" I shake my head and furrow my brows at him, a big smile of disbelief on my face. "Saying I want to have more adventures turns you on?"

"Yes, so don't do that."

"I'm trying to be sweet!"

"I know. Don't. Stop that."

"I think your libido is broken, dude."

"My libido?"

"You know what I'm saying! Your sex drive! Y--whatever! It's broken."

"It's not broken."

"It's definitely broken."

"It's just you, (Y/N), that's the problem."

"I'm the problem?"

"Yeah."

"I think you're the problem."

"Oh am I?"

"100%"

"You bein' a little brat right now? While I'm drivin' ya to the greatest restaurant of all time?"

"Yeah, okay Teddy, stay broken."

"Do I need to turn this truck around and find a spot?"

I had been looking out the window as we bickered back and forth, but that suggestive little question makes me flick my head back to him, a surprised expression on my face.

"...What's that supposed to mean?" I ask with a knowing smile, narrowing my eyes a little.

"You know what it's supposed to mean." Ted replies without missing a beat, glancing at me occasionally while keeping his eyes on the road. No way is he suggesting what I think he's suggesting...

"You don't know any spots.." I challenge him a little, tilting my head at him.

"I know a few.." Ted smirks, squeezing my thigh again while keeping his eyes on the road. "I've lived around here for a few years, (Y/N)..."

"And you've?..."

"Yeah."

"In here?"

"Back seat."

"...You're fucking with me."

"You wanna find out?..."

Oh god, I hate that. I hate that because it's actually...incredibly tempting...

"Aren't we almost there though?" I ask, referring to the Cafe. I had my phone on with my Map app open, we were basically around the corner from it by now. I get silence from Ted for a moment, watching as he taps on the wheel again at yet another red light.

"...On the way back?" He finally asks me, turning his gaze to me with a raised brow. I can see by the dark look in his eyes that he's serious. I have no idea how we'd even get away with that, Dan and the others are coming with us.

"...You're insane." I let out a breathy chuckle, turning to look out the window again. Looking into his eyes makes me nervous sometimes.

"That's not a no..." Ted purrs lowly at me and I feel his hand move slightly up my thigh, his fingers tucking in between my inner thighs. I hold in a shaky breath. God, he can read me all too well...

"There's no way you could pull that off without the others catching on." I turn to look at him again, trying to ignore how warm his hand on my thigh is making me feel.

"I could say we got lost." Ted shrugs a little, his eyes clearly flicking down to my lips. Not now, Teddy...

"You just said you've lived around here for years.." I let out a scoff, shaking my head a little.

"Dan doesn't know that." Ted adds, giving me a confident smirk. "And Tanner would believe me.."

"Joe wouldn't."

"Who cares? You've been reporting to him anyways. You wanna give him another good story?"

He's terribly convincing, and he's got that look in his eye. Like he's hungry...God fucking dammit, Teddy.

Ted has to bring his attention back to the road once more, taking his hand off of my thigh to put both hands on the wheel. "Just let me know.." He shrugs a little again, keeping that confident smirk on his face as he makes a left turn. I see the Rainforest Cafe sign come into view, I had honestly almost forgotten that's where we were headed. One of these days, I swear, we're gonna get in trouble. I don't know with who, but we will. Until then...

Ted manages to find a good parking spot close to the building, with Dan pulling up sort of across from us. We all meet up at the front of the building and I have to try and act like Ted didn't just suggest fucking in his Toyota Tacoma on the way back. Wonderful.

We all get inside and wait at the front. The place isn't terribly packed since it's a weekday, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't impressed by the atmosphere. I spotted a few animatronics as we were escorted to our table. The ceiling was covered in different foliage and pretty lights to add a sort of sparkling effect to the whole place, there was an elegant little waterfall on one side where a majority of the jungle animatronics were, but we were seated over by the aquarium, illuminating the area in a pretty blue hue. The lighting looked nice on Ted, though based on the way he was looking at me as we sat down, he's probably thinking the same about me.

We're all sat in a sort of circular booth with some chairs in front. Tanner and Dan decide to sit at the chairs so Ted, Joe and I get the comfortable leather booth seats. I'm surprised at first that Ted wants to sit next to me and not across from me, but I quickly find out why. After we tell our waiter what drinks we want, the Rainforest Cafe began to make a bunch of different noises. I hear the sounds of the elephants chirping, looking up as the lights above us begin to flash to mimic the effect of lightning, a rumbling bass surrounding the entire restaurant. We're all looking up as the faux thunderstorm flickers on, all except for Ted, whose eyes are on me and my sparkling gaze of curiosity. The fake thunderstorm is a lot louder than I thought it was going to be, the only other sounds being the low bustling of the other customers, and the slightly nervous laughter coming from Dan and Tanner.

"That's so loud!" Dan laughs a little, looking back down to us to see our own reactions. "Is it always that loud?"

"Oh yeah, we'll probably hear that like 3 more times, depending on how long we're here.." Ted had a big, excited grin on his face. I could tell he was thoroughly enjoying this already, and we hadn't even gotten our drinks. I'll admit it, I'm already kind of having a good time. I've really come to admire everyone in this group, even Dan, despite not knowing him as long. This dinner with everyone felt like a sort of mini celebration for being over half-way done with the project. I can't imagine the next time we'll all be able to get together and go out like this, probably when the film premieres, if everyone can make it down again. And Ted? Man, he looks like he's having the time of his life. I don't know if it's him or if it's the ambiance of the aquarium behind us, but his eyes are literally sparkling with wonder, especially when he turns to look at me. The last time he looked this happy was when he caught me looking at his lips in my room, he had that same proud smile, like all of his dreams were coming true. Man, he must really like me. It really makes me wish that we had met at Joe's wedding. I can't believe I've gone all this time without knowing Ted.

My dreamy thoughts are broken by a sharp gasp from Tanner, making me quickly turn a worried look to him.

"They have grilled cheese here!?" Tanner exclaims excitingly as he looks down at the menu. I let out a sigh of relief, hearing Joe, Ted and Dan start to laugh.

Man, this group is the best. I love it here.

__________________________________

Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 (smut) || Chapter 7 || Chapter 8 || Chapter 9 || Chapter 10 (smut) || Chapter 11 || Chapter 12 || Chapter 13 || Chapter 14 (smut) || Chapter 15 || Chapter 16 || Chapter 17 (Here) || Chapter 18 (smut) || Chapter 19 || Chapter 20 || Chapter 21 || Chapter 22 || Chapter 23 || Chapter 24 || Chapter 25 (Final) ||

[frickinsleepdeprived]

NSFW Tomioka headcanons

Ah yes, I finally gave into temptation... lord forgive me 😅 either way I hope you guys enjoy these headcanons, ya nasties LMAO

***MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. INTERACTING = BLOCKED ACCOUNT***

...

Giyuu is, as we all know, reserved and definitely very quiet

However, when you get him alone, a more tender side comes out in him... Unless he's had a hard day or is severely backed up

So you notice this and you ask him what's wrong he just. Pins you to a wall and looks down at you not menacingly but definitely with a look that says "Tonight you're mine and I'll make sure everyone knows it."

Oh yeah, Giyuu has this thing where he likes to make you scream his name to the point where it's almost embarrassing.

He's definitely a switch. I can see him being dominant when he's pent up and just needs to let it out somehow, but when you guys are just having casual sex or even making love he'll definitely be more on the submissive side. Be it giving into your bidding or just wanting to be taken care of

But obviously if you requested the opposite when having casual sex or making love he's more than happy to do so.

He loves giving oral, just the sight of you squirming and writhing from pleasure as he licks your clit is just top teir to him

But when you're giving him head it's almost as if he just completely melts at your touch, and you can't help but bask in the power it gives you

His favorite position is anything that requires him to stare down at you. Be it missionary, laying on your side, or even during morning sex when you're laying down with him, facing him of course.

He feels like it just adds a lot more intimacy whenever he gets to stare at your face making little moans and mewls of ecstasy.

Usually, he prefers morning sex, especially on rainy mornings when you guys can't train. Besides, it's scientifically proven that an hour of sex equals out to about thirty calories that get burned. So good for you guys!

However another time when he prefers having sex is about a day after he gets home from a mission. He takes the day he gets home to relax with you, then he'll take the next day to get whatever aggression he needs to let out get out of his system.

He doesn't like rough sex, simply because he doesn't want to hurt you in any way.

The only time you guys have rough sex is when you're begging for it. I mean like pleading, begging, mascara running kind of begging. He thinks it's really hot lol

He wouldn't try any kind of potentially dangerous kinks (such as knife play) BUT, I have a sneaking suspicion he's really into those wax candles that are specifically made for BDSM/kinks. He'd obviously be super careful of course, and would ask you about ten times over if you're really sure you want to try.

Overall: Giyuu is really respectful when it comes to sex and frankly he's also super wholesome with it too half the time. But the other half is reserved for special ocassions or when you've been especially naughty

......

I feel.

So fucking WEIRD AFTER THAT-

But n e wayyyyssssss feel free to leave requests for this kind of content, I need to get familiar with it before I post a project I've been working on. I hope you guys enjoyed the first of the NSFW headcanons. Let me know who you want to see next!

***As a reminder, Minors please do NOT interact with this post***