#I've been a little bit worried recently that i have something wrong with me that's causing fatigue

[yousaytomato]

Lads you'll never guess what. Anxious Again.

[apricityxoxo]

Sound of Your Voice

✧.*Simon "Ghost" Riley x Fem! Reader

✧.* wc about 3k

✧.* summary: Routine. Continuously. Everyday. Every day since that day. He is used to a routine, that’s how he normally lives. His routine was tedious and had recently started to feel mundane. Like a never-ending cycle of constant repetition, a cycle of violent missions and loneliness. That was most certainly not the case now. Now he has you, and he is addicted.

✧.* content: mainly fluff, a bit of violence (simon gets in a fight duhh) and a bit of suggestive dialogue

✧.*This is part two to Help and Care, Here is "part one", it can be read together or separately.

I'm so sorry this took such a long time, I've been so busy and I haven't been in a writing mood. I'm gonna start updating more and writing about different characters. lmk who you want me to write for next. pleaseeee interact, i love hearing from yall.

Routine.

Continuously.

Everyday.

Every day since that day.

He is used to a routine, that’s how he normally lives. His routine was tedious and had recently started to feel mundane. Like a never-ending cycle of constant repetition, a cycle of violent missions and loneliness. 

That was most certainly not the case now. Now he has you, and he is addicted.

He makes his way over… starting to rush a little. 

He keeps checking his back, ensuring no one is following, checking to see if anyone's watching. 

Sometimes he feels paranoid, worried that rumors will spread. Reputations ruined, your reputation ruined. He has seen it happen before and doesn't want it to happen to you.

He finally arrives at the building, making his way past the receptionist's desk. He doesn't have to look, he knows that the receptionist is shaking her head. He knows this path like the back of his hand. When he finally arrives at the door, a weight is lifted off his shoulders. 

It’s like the feeling of pure relief. 

He checks his surroundings while turning the handle and with his free hand, he begins to pull up his mask. He pulls up his mask with a large smile on his face, mentally preparing himself for the intense makeout session that was about to start. However, before the session was about to begin he realized something strange.

Your office was empty. This was the exact time he came to visit your office every other day, so why was today different? Where were you? He started pacing, trying to think where you could be. Where? Where are you? What are you doing? Why aren't you here? 

He's freaking the hell out.

Where are y–

“She's not here son.”

He pulls down his mask and quickly faces the voice. He turns and sees a tall but thin older woman in the hallway. She looks away from her clipboard and looks up at him with her thin almond-shaped eyes over her slim reading glasses. When he still doesn't address her she rolls her eyes and looks back at her clipboard. 

“She should be back next week, it won't kill you to be away from her for a week…right?” She says with a sarcastic smirk on her thin lips. 

So, word had gotten around. 

She walked away while shaking her head.

He had to wait a week, he could do that. 

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He could not do this. 

He's going crazy, it has been six days and he thinks he's going to kill himself. It's been a horrible week for him and many are starting to notice. God, he’s gotten addicted to you.

He's been snappy, and everything is starting to set him off. He doesn't think he's ever been madder in his life. He's like a ticking time bomb that is constantly being set off…

And these recruits were going to make him explode.

They had the same attitude they always had, but he couldn't tolerate their actions with you not here. He was harder on them than usual and irritated by everything they did wrong. He didn't have time for their cockiness, their back talk, and their disagreeable attitudes. However, that's all he received, and he had had enough.

“Harder, you have to hit me harder. Unless you want to die out there.” Ghost said with an angry stern tone. He was training a young recruit, they were on the training grounds surrounded by other recruits and onlookers. The recruit he was training had extremely short-buzzed black hair, was well-built, and had impressive combat skills. His name was Thomas… he thinks. He has a lot of potential, he could make it far if he wasn’t a cocky asshole. Thomas's hits were impressive but not up to his standards. He needed to try harder and be better. 

“If ya not going to try hard, I can train someone else,” Ghost said, sick and tired of this recruit's lazy antics. He could tell his corrections had been irritating Thomas. He was rolling his eyes, shaking his head at Ghost.

“Come on!” Ghost yelled. He watched as the concentration in his eyes turned into pure anger. Ghost thought that anger would encourage him to fight harder, but all it did was make his mouth move more.

“Don't be mad at me because you haven't seen your bitch in a week.”

Ghost doesn't think he’s ever punched someone in a while as hard as he punched Thomas. What was a sparring session between mature respected soldiers, quickly turned into what looked like a nasty bar fight between infantile men who couldn't control their temper. Punches were thrown back and forth and soon they both ended up on the ground. A crowd of men formed a circle around them, cheering them on and guessing who they think will win.

“Get the ‘ell off me!” Thomas yelled, trying his hardest to get from below Ghost.

Ghost didn't say anything, he was more focused on teaching Thomas to watch his mouth. He knows this isn't good for his reputation. He knows that this proves all the rumors about him and you true. He thinks about how he shouldn't do this, after throwing a punch to his face, but he doesn't care.

He was ready to throw another hard blow to the right side of Thomas’s head before he heard a bellowing voice. 

“What’s goin' on here?!” Ghost stops and Thomas quickly crawls from under him, ready to salute his captain. 

Ghost stays on the ground looking at the floor. 

“That's enough training for today. You're all dismissed.” Says Captain Price, followed by the sound of soldiers dispersing. Then he feels a firm hand on his soldiers.

“You're dismissed too Ghost. Go take a nap or something, your piss-poor mood is showing.” Price says the smell of expensive cigars follows him as he walks away. 

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“Piss-poor mood, I'm not in a mood…”

“...he should’ve watched his mouth”

Ghost continued to murmur to himself as he made his way over to his quarters. Upset by the eyes that followed him. He didn't feel upset, he felt fine. He's not the problem, everyone else is for upsetting him. 

He makes his way down a hallway and near his quarters but before he can get within a couple feet of his door, he feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns around and his eyes widen in utter shock and surprise. 

“So, I'm gone for not even a week and you're already beating up little kids?” You say. You look beautiful, your hair is done differently than normal. Your skin looked kissed by the sun and glowed under the artificial lights in the hallway, God he missed you. He missed the sound of your voice.

“It's not my fault, he should've watched his mouth.” You could practically hear the smile forming on his lips as he spoke to you. He was slowly closing the professional and appropriate gap between you.  

“Did ya miss me?” You ask in a soft sultry voice, as you look up at his tall frame through your eyelashes.

He didn't respond but by your face, he could tell you already knew the answer.

“What did you do while I was gone?” you said and as you spoke you started to walk away, and like a loyal dog, he started to follow.

“I found ways to busy myself” he lied. In reality, he did his work and was pissed while he did so. Everything that happened while he worked ticked him off. He didn't like that the recruits talked back when he gave them corrections. He didn't like how cafeteria food tasted when you weren't there to distract him. He especially didn't like how he couldn't visit you in your office on long days.

When he wasn’t working, he was at the pub drinking his sorrows away with Johnny and drinking and drinking even more so that he could forget that you're not around. You're not around, and he can't listen to you ramble about your unique interests like your troublesome cat, the most recent book you read, or the hairstyle you were planning on getting next. He really missed that. 

When he wasn’t working or drinking he found other ways to distract himself.

Other ways that made him feel ashamed. 

Other ways that made him sleepless at night, and drowsy in the morning. 

You made him crazy. You drove him absolutely mad. He couldn’t think straight around you, and it confused him. 

He’s had girlfriends, and hookups, even one-night stands. None of them compared to the way you made him feel. You made him feel lightheaded, you made his heart race, and you made him throb at just the thought of you. 

He wanted more.

He was tired of the flirty banter, the soft touches, and the heated makeout sessions in the privacy of your office. 

He wanted to get to know you, the way no one else has gotten to know you. 

Out of nowhere, he asked, “Do you want to have dinner with me?”

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God! Men! 

How dare Simon give you less than an hour and a half to get ready! 

You’re so nervous, you’re literally trembling. You haven’t felt this way about a man, ever. You feel ridiculous! 

All your life you pushed away the attention of men, in order to succeed in your career. You were always taught that men would stop you from succeeding, they would only drag you down. 

However now, you don’t give a shit. You don’t care if Simon drags you down to hell, you’ll skip right along with him. He makes you feel high like you’re weightless and on top of the world. 

He so entrances you that you think if he asked you to run away and sell crops in the middle of nowhere, you’d say yes. You’re crazy and delusional, and you don’t care. 

You invited a friend over to help you style your hair, wanting to do a natural look for your first date with Simon. As she styles the curls and coils of your hair, she can’t help but make fun of you. 

“I can’t believe ‘Ms. I don’t need a man is going on a date!” She cackles, and goes on saying “And she’s nervous!” She all but hollers. 

Even though you don't appreciate the hollers and cackles from her, you can’t help but giggle along with her. You were a hypocrite.

…

Okay, even with the time given… you look good. Like, really good. You always look good, but damn. Right now, you look fine. 

You managed to search for a dress that was elegant and sexy at the same time. A black dress that hugged your curves beautifully, with a high slit that showed your glowing legs. You paired it with jewelry, a black bag, and black heels. Your makeup was finally finished and as you started to set your face you heard a knock at the door of your apartment. 

You felt your heart sink and doubt started to creep into your mind. However, before you have time to second-guess yourself, your friend sprints down the stairs to let Simon in. 

You rush to grab your purse and your phone, hyping yourself up as you scramble around your room. “You can do this, you got this” “he’s already into you, there’s no need to worry” “You’re a bad bitch, the baddest”. You look at yourself in the mirror one last time and head downstairs. 

As you make your way downstairs you find Simon and your friend talking. Simon is wearing the face of a child who has been punished by his parents and your friend has her back to you. 

“What's going on?” You ask, confused. “Nothing!” Your friend said with a bright and mischievous smile on her face. You roll your eyes, knowing that she's probably giving him the best friend speech. 

“Love you, have fun!” She says as she walks past you and gives you a friendly kiss on your cheek. 

When Simon finally looks at you, you can see his face physically soften. He looks nice, you lied cause he looks so handsome. He's wearing straight black dress pants, and a short-sleeve white button-up shirt with the top two buttons undone. He looks classy and slutty at the same time. It's making you warm up inside, especially with the way he's looking at you.

His hair is styled differently, instead of the messy blonde tussles of hair that usually adorn his, it looks like he attempted to style his hair. His beard also looks trimmed and cleaned up, not fully shaven though. He holds himself more confident than normal but his face has nervousness written all over it. 

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God, you look good, so good. You look good in your scrubs and tennis shoes but right now you look amazing. You look beautiful, you look so beautiful that words can’t describe how he feels right now. It was absolutely worth getting the "You better treat her right" speech from your friend.

He was nervous about planning this date, he wanted it to be perfect. He tried his best to find the best restaurant near your apartment knowing that you’re, what you call, a foodie. He searched all day for somewhere worth taking you to. When picking out his outfit he had to go off base to find a new shirt.

He cleaned up his beard and even thought about shaving it completely, but he decided against it last minute thinking about all the times you've played with it. He also styled his hair but it looks messy now due to all the times he nervously ran his hands through it. 

He needed this date to be perfect. It had to be. It had to be as perfect as you.

“I brought these for ya,” He said, as he grabbed the flowers off the coffee table with sweaty hands. He gave you a beautiful bouquet. A bouquet of vibrant lilies that went together perfectly with beautiful white flowers.

“Aww! They’re beautiful, how’d you know these were my favorite?”

“I’m psychic,” he said with a wink. He saw a picture of a similar bouquet while you were scrolling and liking posts on your Instagram. You smile to yourself and look down.

“You look good, Simon,” you say to him, so soft it almost sounds like a whisper. He loves the sound of your voice. He loved how it made him feel and he couldn't get enough of it.

After you complimented him, he took a couple of steps toward you until your chests were pressed together. He looks down at you and holds your face with his hands. “You look beautiful”. He leans down and gives you a soft and gentle kiss on your thick glossed lips. You feel dazed after that kiss and he asks “Ya ready?”, with a cocky smile. He was perfect.

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Dinner was less than perfect…

The hostess was rude, giving you nasty looks. During dinner, Simon called the waiter a clumsy, forgetful, flirt. The waiter was so busy trying to get your attention that he ended up spilling your drinks on you and giving you the wrong food. Finally, when you do get the right food it was “bland shite” as Simon described it, cursing the people who gave this restaurant anything above a two-star review.

As he paid the check, refusing to let you even reach for your purse, he pettily left a no tip and a short message. You giggle your way out, laughing at his pettiness. As you make your way out, he's profusely apologizing as you wrap your arms around his thick bicep while trying to clean the huge stain on your dress.

“I'm sorry love, thought the restaurant was good and it was gonna go different and-” You're not even focused on him nor your dress anymore. Your eyes drift away to the colorful ice cream stand and your mouth all but waters.

“Do you want ice cream Si?” You interrupt him with a bright smile on your face. You let go of his arm and make your way over to a cute ice cream stand. 

You bend over with a slight arch to your back and look at all the ice cream flavors. You feel a presence make its way over to you and feel a hand go from your upper ass to your hip. “What do ya want Si? My treat!” you look up at him “Nah, you don’ need to get me anything, love, I'll pay”. You continue, ignoring him, “You seem like a cookies and cream kind of guy, or maybe French vanilla, ooh cookie dough?” there was a silence for a couple of seconds, then a deep sigh “Mint Chocolate-chip” 

You look at him and giggle, you knew he’d like something weird. “You got it, Si!”

You order and pay for the ice cream after going for a walk as you both enjoy the sweet treat. You find a bustling Main Street near the ice cream stand that’s illuminated with street lamps, fairy lights, and boutiques. You both walk down the street hand in hand while eating your treats. You walk and window shop and point out things you find cute to Simon. Then, a surge of happiness fills you. You haven't felt like this in years, Simon makes you feel alive, in a way you have never felt before. You finally finish your ice cream and feel the need to tell him how happy you feel. You both drift away from the crowd and make your way to a bench illuminated by a warm street lamp, that's where you finally stop and look up at Simon.

“I having a wonderful time Simon, thank you.” You tell him and you squeeze his hand as you do.

“I'm real glad ya are. I was nervous ‘bout this and I feel like I screwed up with dinner and the waiter was a flirty arsehole and I just wanted this to be perfect with the-” 

“I have a wonderful time, every time I'm with you. It's always perfect with you.” You interrupt his nervous ramble with your own. “I haven't really done any of this before and I feel kind of dumb but I like the way I feel when I am with you.” Then you start getting honest, real honest, “After I graduated med-school, I couldn't find a job and I was looking everywhere and no one was hiring me, it was so frustrating”. You continue, “So when I found that job at the military base, I impulsively took it. And when I did, I immediately regretted it, it was far from home, my friends and family, and a new environment, but now, I have great friends, an apartment that feels more like a home every day, a crazy cat, and more” You pause, and grab his hands. “I think it's one of the best decisions I've ever made” 

Simon then rips his hands from yours and grabs your face pulling you impossibly close to him. Giving you the greediest kiss you have ever felt. 

His lips intertwine with your own and you wrap your hands around the back of his head.

The most passionate kiss you have ever felt. He pauses the kiss and you go up to reach his lips once again but before you can he interrupts you by speaking.

“I'm so glad I went to the infirmary,” he says then he pulls you back in.

You know that from this moment on everything is going to be okay.

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I hope you all enjoyed pls let me know who you want me to write for next

[dewdr0pz]

somethin' stupid ❤︎₊ ⊹

summary: Sirius says 'i love you' for the first time

a/n: hi! as you might know, i'm really new at writing for the Marauders and this would be my first time writing for Sirius, so please feel free to let me know what i could do better next time or what i did well :)

tags: @eyesof-thehurricane @daemontargaryennn @o-kye @unbeleevable @mochamuff1n @prettysinners (this is me just guessing who would be interested in this, please let me know if you would like to be removed/added from the taglist!!)

word count: 726

warnings: slight angst, tooth-rotting fluff, reader and Sirius cry a little

You were curled up on the small couch in your pajamas, your nose in the new book you'd gotten recently. You weren't sure how long you'd been on the sofa until Sirius arrived.

"Babyyy," Sirius whined, "you've been reading forever. Can we please do something?"

"I haven't been reading for that long," you chuckled, sliding your bookmark between the page you were on and looking up at him, his arms draped over the back of the sofa.

"You've been reading for at least an hour," Sirius teased. "You haven't even moved. It's a bit scary, darling."

"What do you even want to do, Siri?" you asked, stretching your legs with a groan.

"I don't know," he said, "cuddle? Watch a movie? Go for a walk? Cuddle?"

"You said that twice," you giggled.

"I know," he matched your smile. "I really want to cuddle." His eyes lit up. "I have an incredible idea."

"Yes?" you chuckled.

"I could lay on your lap," he said, already climbing onto the couch," and you can sit there and look pretty and read." He nuzzled his head into your belly and wrapped his arms around you. "You smell good," he said.

"I'm wearing your jumper, silly," you laughed.

"Oh," he said. "I smell good."

"Yes, you do," you nodded, opening your book up again and absentmindedly playing with his hair. He let out a content sigh and closed his eyes, moving one hand to rub your thigh.

"Please never stop getting acrylics," he murmured, wriggling his head under the jumper to lay his head on your skin.

"I might have to, Siri," you said. "They're not healthy for your nails, I've heard."

"Isn't there a healthy one now?" he asked, lifting his head up. "A gel one?"

"Bio gel," you nodded, "but my friend told me they're expensive."

"I'll pay for it, babe, don't worry about that," he said, nuzzling his head under your his jumper again.

"You spoil me too much," you laughed.

"Why wouldn't I?" he said, kissing your soft tummy. "I have to pamper my darling." He hummed with content when your nails lightly scratched his scalp.

"I love you," he murmured.

You froze, your heart skipping multiple beats and your eyes widening. The words on the pages became blurry, jumbled-up bits of nonsense as you lost your breath.

When you looked at him, he was already looking at you, his eyes flickering with traces of fear.

"Did I do something wrong?" he whispered, so soft you could barely hear him. "Did I mess up?" he asked when you didn't respond.

You felt your heart break into shards at his shaky words. You quickly set your book down on the coffee table and threw your arms around him with a tearful giggle.

"You didn't mess up, Sirius," you whispered, sniffling as his shaky arms wrapped around you tightly. "You didn't mess up at all."

"Do you love me?" he whispered, lifting your head out of his chest and cupping your face. "You don't have to say it back-"

"How is that even a question?" you laughed. "Of course I love you, Siri, of course I do."

You watched his expression go from worried to ecstatic as he hugged you again, causing you to fall and hit the pillows.

"Holy shit, you love me!" Sirius laughed. "I love you! We love each other!"

"We do!" you laughed, wiping away your tears.

"Why are you crying?" he said, kissing your wet cheeks. "Baby, we're in love! I love you! You love me! We love each other! Isn't that great?"

"You're crying too, dummy!" you teased, reaching up to wipe the streaks away.

"At least I have a good reason!" he laughed. "You gave me a fright, darling!" He kissed your lips a few times. "And before you apologize, you have nothing to say sorry for, so don't even try."

"But I scared you-" you started.

"Nope, you're not allowed to apologize," he interrupted, kissing your forehead. "What you are allowed to do is tell me what food you want me to order for us."

"We're getting takeout?" you questioned.

"You think I'm going to get up and cook for us after we just confessed our love?" he said dramatically. "Absolutely not. We're going to order takeout so I can cuddle you for the rest of the night."

You weren't complaining.

[sirxlla]

Realization

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warnings: sex is alluded to before the story starts besides that, fluff

notes: Female Reader, italics are actions. i'm a new writer, so i'm trying to do what might be good layout? pls Imk what you think of the story or anything really in the comments, i'd really appreciate it.

Prompt: Jason realizes why his interest has been low.

-With all that said its under the cut-

"Babygirl, I'm so sorry, I- I don't know why this keeps happening." He panted as he had finished way early again way before you. This was odd cause the Lazarus Pit made his libido way stronger than anyone in his familys' and his stamina was just horrible recently.

"Jay..." of course you were unsatisfied but you weren't going to tell him that because he already is beating himself up enough you can tell that by the look in his eyes as you still sit above him. Usually he's always wanted to take control but with his stamina being as low as it has been, he thought it was a good idea for you to be on top.

"Baby, it's okay. It happens to guys a lot." You didn't know if that was exactly true or not but you just wanted him to feel reassured.

"Yeah, it might be normal for Joe Blow down the street but not for me." His voice was a little bit more harsh than he meant it to be but you knew him well enough to know that the anger wasn't pointed at you. He was disappointed in himself he thought, there was something wrong with himself. He huffs and takes a breath as he closes his eyes for a moment before opening them and realizing how rude he sounded.

"Goddamn it, I'm sorry." His hands rubbed your thighs as a silent apology as well, frustration residing in his shoulders.

"No Baby, it's okay. I know you're not mad at me." Your voice was soft and reassuring and kind. There was a faint smile on your face to try to help to his irritation with himself.

"I just don't know what's happening...I'm not drinking, I'm barely out in the field because of the fact that I'm slower than I've ever been." His piercing green eyes gazed into yours laced with a bit of worry and frustration.

"I just don't want you to think I don't want you because there's nothing I can want more..." He's still rubbing your bare thighs but now for a different reason he's trying to calm himself.

"You have no idea what it could be?" You thought for a moment as your eyes scanned back and forth as you thought through all of the ideas about what it could be. There was only one thing that had changed in the last few months.

"Baby your meds got changed not that long ago. Are you sure that it's not that?" You weren't certain that they could even do that but it was the only thing that had changed in the last few months, the only thing that made since.

"There's no way, is there?" His voice is full of confusion. 'His doctor would have told him if that was the case right?' He thought to himself as his hand stopped for a moment to ponder the idea. He reached across to the bedside table to grab his phone unplugging it from the charger that sunk to the floor after he dropped it. His left hand started rubbing your thigh again as concentration filled his face as he typed on his phone.

It was quiet except for the annoying clicking sounds on his new phone that you had begged him to turn off but he had just not got the chance yet because he kept forgetting. His eyes scanned left to right, left to right over and over is he read different things about his medication.

"Well, I'll be damned..." he said with a bit of realization as the tension in his shoulders was relaxing as he was sure that that was the reason that he was feeling this way.

"You think they tell you this shit before they give it to you." The smile filled his face as he relaxed... "I'll give my doctor a call in the morning don't worry, Baby."

"Hey, you know I don't like you just for your body, Jay...Your brain's pretty good too." You smiled and rolled off of him to lay beside him before cuddling into his side as he replaced the phone in his and with the book from the side table. Your head fit perfectly resting between his torso and his shoulder sighing slightly but not out of frustration, it was more like your body was ready to power down after the day, it'd hadn't been even remotely hard but just that you are so happy to relax besides the only man that mattered to you in the entire world.

His shoulders relaxed even more so as you relax into him your body molding with his like slime on a hot dashboard, you couldn't get any closer even though both of you would try. His fingers slowly moved over the new book you just bought him for Christmas, the page is still fresh enough that you can smell them as he opens it. No matter how crazy the city got on nights like this everything seemed to vanish except for you and him. Your eyes felt heavy as you started to doze off like you did every night a mix of cigarette smell and new book filling your nose and guiding you off to a peaceful night's sleep.

Masterlist

[so-i-did-this-thing]

Hello! I just wanted to say I stumbled across one of your posts and ended up looking through the trans tag in your blog for a while and idk it felt so so nice to see a middle aged trans guy just living life and being there for others who are at earlier points of their own trans related journeys, and I hope I can look as awesome as you and be as comfortable in my own skin and style and everything when I'm older.

I guess I also wanted to ask if you had any insight or advice about a couple things, if you're willing to share.. First thing is, did you ever struggle with passing but looking much younger than your age and that somewhat affecting your perception of yourself? I'm 28 and I started T 11 months ago (though at a pretty low dose because I wanted slow changes) and my face just recently started visibly shifting to a more masculine contour and I love it, but I still don't really look like a 28 year old guy.

I've always passed easily even before T but people think I'm like 18-21 max. Things were fine while I was in college (I came out at 19 so for a while my face just felt fitting enough and didn't make me feel either dysphoric or in a weird age limbo) but every year it feels more frustrating and makes me feel sort of alienated from myself including in mental ways, like I'm just a little kid who can't grow up. Like I'll never look like a "real guy" even though I can be stealth because I look like a weird teen and not like a grown up man. It's especially bad when I look at my amab younger siblings who are now also adults and see how I "should have looked" in some other life if I was cis. I guess maybe that's just another manifestation of dysphoria that I didn't have to deal with before? Did you ever experience something like that? And if yes did it get better after some years on T or how did you deal with it?

The other thing is just.. internalized transphobia. It's one thing to know things in a logical or intellectual sense but it's so hard to really feel and believe it sometimes and let go of all the awful transphobic stuff my family said to me during the first years of me being out. I just kept going anyway because I needed to be true to myself and my family basically bullying me wasn't gonna just magically change how I felt about my gender, but what it did do is put my already low confidence and self esteem (in this context regarding my gender) down on the floor. And sometimes I still just think and worry "what if they were right and I was wrong and I'll never be real and valid because of x y z", "what if I'm just delusional", "what if I'm a ridiculous freak". I know, in a way, that no I'm not. I'm just a trans person and they're just transphobes. But feelings like that just get to me sometimes and I don't really know what to do about them even nearly 10 years after coming out. Does that get better at some point? Just like you kinda stop giving a shit what people think about you in general as you get older? But how can you change those internalized views affecting what you think of yourself?

Bit nervous about asking this stuff tbh, so sorry it was so long also sorry if I worded any of it in a not so great way.

I will say though, that seeing older trans people like you does help a little bit. Just makes it feel like "hell yeah I wanna be like him when I grow up". So thank you for showing me that today ;u; (and also for inspiring me to put a little more thought and effort into my styling and fashion choices haha)

Heya, Anon! Let's see what I can cover here:

Looking young.

Oh my god, yes. I was getting carded to buy superglue and spray paint well into my late 30s (I started T at 33). When my partner first asked me out for a date, they were worried I wasn't old enough to drink yet (I was 36).

This is me 1 year on T, age 34.

Years 6 & 7 (ages 39 and 40), is when I feel I started looking older.

I feel like it's only been recently, 14 years in at 47, that I look in my 40s, and a "mature" adult. My beard finally getting full helped, as did my receding hairline. And I feel like my skin texture has toughened up enough, to where wrinkles show more.

That said, yes, it is tough and annoying to deal with. Even when people tell me I look like a particular cis man (where I actually see the resemblance, lol), when I look at us side-by-side, I feel like I'm just a pale shadow of him. I feel jealous and dysphoric, even while I'm flattered by the comparison. I wonder what I "should" look like, and it feels like something has been stolen from me. Its a roller coaster of emotions.

That feeling never really goes away, but you need to afford yourself some grace. You're going to be your own worst critic, and I guarantee you that, of many cis men you grew up with, you can probably still see the kid in them. So of course, you're going to see the kid in yourself.

But, you also just need to let time run its course. HRT is a marathon, and a lot of changes don't really settle for about 5 or 6 years.

I hate to say "enjoy it while you can" because I sure as hell bristled at being mistaken for a teenager or barely 20 when I was in my 30s. But do enjoy what you can of it. Because once you hit middle age, you're going to start dealing with a strange intersection of dysphoria and aging that I myself am still trying to navigate.

One other way I help myself get over negative feelings is to think of how differently my life would have been if I were cis. I honestly worry I would have been a worse person; even though being trans creates a lot of obstacles in my life, I feel like it's been a net gain: being able to know myself so well and help others learn about themselves.

Internalized transphobia

This got better for me with age. My epiphany was that, even over a decade into my transition, I was still softening myself for the benefit of friends and family. I was still using my gender-neutral birthname (I only recently changed it). I would call myself a "person", "guy", or "dude", instead of a "man". I dressed on the young and casual side, eschewing full-on masculine outfits like proper suits with ties.

I only recently pulled myself out of this. It still is a habit-in-progress to refer to myself as a man, even though I have always felt like one. And I've started to dress more vintage, not just because of hyper fixations, but because it's a way to lean into a presentation that is unequivocally, "this is a middle-aged man". And it's done a lot of good for my mental health.

What I'd suggest is to see if you are holding yourself back in any way wrt your gender presentation or how you talk/think about yourself. Give yourself full permission to acknowledge that you are a man, full stop. You're a young man, sure. But still a man, and a full-ass adult at that.

I hope some of this helps. Transition gives us a unique toolset for examining who we are and how we want to move through the world, and that work certainly doesn't end after finally getting on HRT. <3

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for playing video games?

(Tw for possible ableism?? Idk)

I (31M) have loved video games ever since I was little. They're comforting to me and have gotten me through a lot of hard times. I'm also autistic, and half of my hyperfixations have been on video games.

My girlfriend (27F) and I have been dating for 4 years, and overall have had a very good relationship. I've never liked a girl this much. But a recent disagreement has made me reconsider things.

She recently confessed to me that she doesn't like that I play video games, and that she especially doesn't like how obsessed I get over them. She says that it's childish and embarrassing, and that I should be focused more on my adult life.

I was pretty upset. I am admittedly quite immature for my age and do have some hangups on my age, and I've always worried that people would judge me for having these kinds of interests as I get older. I understand there's a stereotype of adult men spending all their time on video games and being irresponsible, but that's not me. I spend plenty of time with my girlfriend and although my job isn't great, that's down to my mental health issues (which I'm working on) more than anything else.

I pointed these things out to her, and also argued that she used to love video games, to which she had responded that she had naturally grown out of that as she'd gotten older and had expected me to do the same. I also explained that I was autistic and that a lot of my hyperfixations were on video games, and she said that while she understood that, surely there was a way I could find something more 'mature' to be hyperfixated on. She also scoffed a bit when I said I was autistic - I've always worried that she doesn't believe me because I'm self diagnosed, but I'm certain that I am (it's outright dangerous to be diagnosed as autistic in this country unfortunately).

We agreed to disagree, but her final word was that it would make her really happy if I could move on from video games and be an adult. I'm pretty upset.

I'd also like to add that this isn't a case of me neglecting the progression of our relationship. We don't want to get married, we've already moved in together, we've met eachothers' families, and while we do want kids, we want to wait until we're a bit more financially stable. This is solely her feeling that as a 31 year old man, I'm too old to play video games.

I don't think there's anything wrong with my hobbies - they make me happy and I'm not a 'toxic' gamer (most of the games I play are story based and I'm very respectful to other players in the ones that aren't). I don't think hobbies should have age limits, honestly. But it really bothers me that she's hurt by this - I love my girlfriend so much, and the fact that I don't think I can give up video games for her makes me feel really guilty. Honestly, I was really happy when we started dating that she also liked video games, I thought we could play together!

But I'm just scared that I've unintentionally been a shitty boyfriend, which is why I'm asking,

AITA?

[th3lovely1]

The Other Woman

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Paige Bueckers x Reader

- Having feelings for your best friend was hard. Especially since there's a new woman every week that she talks about. Not feeling good enough for Paige, you start to distance yourself from her, and not surprisingly, she notices.

- Friends to lovers (Paige always had feelings but was in hella denial)

- They makeout🤷‍♀️

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Here we go again. Paige talking about her new girl for the week. What's her name again? Tammy? Rebecca? Honestly, You've given up on remembering the names she brings up.

"Damn, she was that good, bro?" Azzi grins at Paige. Paige nods her head with a smirk, "Yeah hell man.". You do my best to ignore their conversation as you try to ignore the sinking feeling in your stomach.

The final straw is when Paige starts going into details again about her fling. "Hey guys" You say, getting their attention. The two stop talking as they look at you, Paige's smirk turns into a soft smile.

You put an arm over your stomach, "I'm not feeling too good," a small grimace appears on your face. "I'm gonna lay down for a bit.". You don't wait for them to reply as you walk away, not noticing Paiges concerned gaze following you.

This hasn't been the first time you've unexpectedly left like that. Paige has only started noticing it recently, but yet she hasn't figured out why you've been acting this way.

Was someone bothering you? Or maybe it was her? It made her uneasy to think it was the latter. You're her best friend, and as hard as it is to deny it, she loves you. More than she thought she would.

All these girls she talks about are just distractions from you, thinking that maybe if she found someone similar enough, she wouldn't have to worry about confessing to you. But no matter how hard she tries, it's never enough. No one could replace you, and no one ever will.

A nudge from Azzi is what gets Paige out of her head. "You good, Paige? I've said your name like twice. ". Paige doesn't know what to tell her. She was afraid to speak the truth, yet she knew that Azzi would be able to tell if she was lying. "Is it Y/n?" Azzi asks the blonde, raising a brow even though she already knew it was.

It was no secret that you and Paige had some sort of feelings for one another. The longing glances, the hugs that lasted just a bit too long, and the terrible attempt at flirting but mostly from Paige.

Paige looks at Azzi and attempts a chuckle, "What? Why would it be her?". Azzi crosses her arms and gives a 'really?' look. Paige sighs and puts her head in her hands. Giving in and finally confessing, she says, "Yeah...yeah it's her.". "You know, if you like her so much you should just tell her. It's not like everyone except her knows already," Azzi replies with a shurg as if stating the obvious.

Surprised, Paige turns to Azzi. "You guys -" she begins raising her voice before quieting down, remembering that you were in the other room. There was no way that she'd want you to hear about any of this. "You guys knew and didn't say anything?" she practically whispers.

"Yeah, like everyone knew, Paige. You weren't that discreet," Azzi tells her, "We're just haven't said anything cause we figured it wouldn't take long for something happen, but clearly we were wrong.".

Paige groans, "I just don't know what to say to her, man. Every time I look or talk to her, I always overthink it. I keep on thinking that she doesn't want me or some crap like that.". She meant every word. Any time she'd come up to you to flirt or just talk, she'd overthink any little thing she'd say. For some reason she always thought that you were too good for her.

So obviously, being the young adult she is, she decided to meet other people. But that didn't help at all as it only made her realize just how much she loved you. You were all she ever thanked about, in her mind 24/7. Anything she looked at reminded her of you in some way.

"I know it's easier to say and do, but you just gotta be straight up with her," Azzi replies, "You overthink it too much, then it'll never happen.". "You're right, you're right. It's just..." Paige stops as she tries her best to think. She's too stuck in her mind to even think about how she should talk to you.

Azzi puts a hand on Paiges shoulder, "Hey, you got this.". She softly rubs it before getting up and grabbing her stuff. Paige looks at her confused before she tells her, "I'm gonna go so you two can talk. The both of you really need it.".

Azzi doesn't wait for a response as she walks out the door, leaving Paige and you behind to finally talk to one another.

Paige sits there in silence as she wonders about the two of you. So many good memories and moments could be thrown away if this all went wrong. Her knee bounced uncontrollably as she started to pick at her hands, something that she always did when nervous, something that you were always there for.

Azzi was right, though. Hyping herself up, Paige gets up from the seat and walks to your room. Her heart beating out of her chest and her hands shaking. She hesitates to knock on your door, her nerves almost getting the better of her.

You open the door. Your eyes are red, and your noise is runny. You look away from Paige as you try to fix the birds nest on your hair. It's not like she'd care anyway. She'd still think you're beautiful, no matter what. She reaches a hand out to comfort you but stops herself from doing so. An action that didn't come unnoticed by you.

Her voice is soft as she asks, "You okay?". Obviously, something was up, and Paige had a good idea of what it was. "You can tell me anything you know?".

"I just -" you begin, the words were at the tip of your tongue, yet you couldn't get them out. Instead, you sigh and gesture towards your room, "Come in.". Paige sits down on the bed, her knee bouncing again. "Um...can I talk you?".

You softly chuckle and smile as you sit next to her. "You already are, but go ahead.". Paige fiddles with her hands, not looking at you. "I...uh," she starts to stammer. You put a hand over hers for comfort and bend down to look in her eyes. "Hey, it's okay. Just breathe.".

If only it was that easy, Paige thought. You took her breath practically doing anything. Even just looking at you had her chest tightening and her heart beating fast. Paige takes a deep breath and exhales. Her grip has tightened on your hand and her knee has stopped shaking.

"I like you, like a lot. Who the fuck am I kidding? I love you at this point.". Your jaw drops as you listen to her. Paige, the girl who you loved for what felt like forever, loves you. It's almost hard to believe. "But what about the other women? The people you've been seeing?".

Paige looks at you with love and sincerity in her eyes. "I've always loved you. I-I know it may be hard to believe, but I truly do. Those other people were just a distraction.". She looks away from you, almost ashamed of herself. "I couldn't face the fact that I felt so much for it. I couldn't understand it...I didn't know what to do.".

You turn Paige to look at you. "I love you too, Paige. I understand that love can be a lot, and it's okay to not know what to do.". You start to play with her hair as you continue. "I will admit that it did hurt seeing you with them, but I'm glad that you feel the same.".

Paige rests her head on your shoulder and wraps her arm around your waist. Your shoulder becoming wet from her tears. "I'm so so sorry for hurting you like that. I know it was stupid of me and-". "Hey, hey," you soothe her, rubbing her back. "That's all in the past now, don't worry about it. I forgive you.".

She removes herself from your shoulder and sniffles. "Really?" she asks, seeming surprised at your forgiveness. She knee that if it was her, it'd take some time for something like that. She knew what she did was crappy but she really didn't know how to deal with how she felt. She would never use that as an excuse though, especially with you.

You nod with a warm smile, "Mhm.". She wraps her arms around you, hugging you tightly. "Thank you," she says with relief. You hug her back, "I love you too much to just leave you like that.". The both of you chuckle.

When Paige moves back, it suddenly feels like she's closer than before. Tension rises in the air as the both of you slowly lean in, looking deep into each other's eyes.

Paige moves a piece of hair behind your ear and cups your face as you rest a hand on her waist. Finally, your lips meet. Months of longing are poured into it as your hands move along her body. The kiss only deepens when Paige starts to lay you back against the bed, pushing her body onto yours.

Her hand moves along your thigh and pulls you closer to her before moving to your waist as she starts to move your shirt up. You move your hips against hers and just as she starts to take your shirt of your door abruptly opens.

Kk comes barging in yelling, "Hey guys!". But she stops once she notices the two of you. "Oh shit! I knew it!" she grins and starts to laugh. Nika and Azzi are behind her and join in the laughter when they see you guys. "Seee, I told y'all it was gonna happen!" Azzi says.

Paige hurriedly pulls your shirt back down and moves off of you, her cheeks almost bright red. "Man, can you guys get out!". She moves an arm at them to move out. "Yeah, yeah. We'll get out" Nika tells her, starting to walk away. Azzi follows behind her and giggles are heard from the two.

"We'll leave you love birds alone," Kk says, raising her brows before closing the door behind her. You put your hands over your face, "That was so embarrassing!". Paige moves your hands away with a soft laugh. "It's fine, baby," she tells you, shrugging her shoulders, "Could've been worse.".

You hit her shoulder, "Paige!". "Okay! Okay!" she laughs, moving to lay next to you. You laugh with her, "You are so immature.". "You love it," she says with a grin. You softly kiss her and reply with a small smile, "Of course I do.".

♡♡♡

Hope y'all liked this😗. I haven't written something in a while. Also Paige is so pretty🤭🤭

[izzabela]

Ok, here me out! We both love Tomas (sweet cinnamon roll) I was thinking about what would happen if Tomas and the female reader get into an argument and it caused them to distance each other for a bit and it causing the reader to go on a mission for Liu Kang and while the reader is gone longer than planned Tomas starts to worry and lose his patience and decides to go after her?

I'm Sorry - Tomas x fem!reader

in which you and Tomas get into an argument before your mission, and Tomas is a bit antsy to apologize

a/n: Tomas would def be the little brother who always apologizes, whether his fault or not

ship[s]: tomas x fem!reader

warning(s): little angst? pre-kanon story (see what i did there)

get yo ass up, white boy

=====================

The air between you and Tomas could light an explosion if one was not careful.

Though you were not present, away on another mission by Liu Kang, it was clear that the remnants of that strife still followed the European assassin.

He gave harsher punishments to the initiates under his care, prolonged training hours, and he even punished his own losses with starvation and excessive workouts.

It worried his brothers, though it was not evident on their faces. Watching their youngest do this to himself was something that... terrified them to say the least. Ironic, since they were formidable ninjas.

It would all resolve itself, though, since you would be coming back today. Though, the memory of that fight laid in everyone's head.

*********

"Do you not realize how insane you're being right now?" Tomas howled at you as you sat on your shared bed, head turned and arms crossed.

Tomas roughly shut the door of your guys' bedroom, but his brothers were in hot pursuit to make sure nothing would go wrong once you had woken up from the healers.

Their mistake.

"Insane is not finishing the job," you spat back, turning your head. "Was I to come back empty-handed? Disappoint my grandmaster, our lord, our mission?!"

It was a rough mission, but you got some valuable info on a threat against Earthrealm thanks to your superior skills. Though, those very same skills did not protect you from the serious bodily harm you endured. Cut up and battered, you returned home like an abused animal.

"Not when you return home looking as you are now," Tomas pointed out, "You've been blinded to finishing the job, to the point of neglecting your own health!"

You scoffed, "Says you! You can go get healed without a word from me. But when I have to go get it done, it's like I've committed treason!"

From the outside, Kuai Liang and Bi Han gave a point to you for that one. However, Tomas was more experienced, and you had only recently been getting sent on more dangerous and high-stakes missions. Tomas had been doing this for years.

"If you had trained more, you would not be in this position," Tomas sighed. "Perhaps it was my fault for putting your name in too early."

You jaw dropped at this.

"Don't you dare pull this on me, Tomas," you said low as you get out of bed. Sure, your legs and wounds ached, but the adrenaline of your anger was fueling you to heights unknown.

"I'll have you know-"

"Mind your place," Tomas commanded, voice dripping with authority.

Tomas may be a brother to Kuai Liang and Bi Han, a technical inheritor to his clan, but he never felt like it. He often humbled himself by refraining from using any sort of authoritative tone, especially since he began dating you. Yes, he may be kind to his friends, his brothers, you, but he was still second-in-command along side Kuai Liang.

Of course there were times he needed to use his voice- but now wasn't the smartest time.

When Tomas realized what he had done, it was within a blink of an eye that a mean left-hook took him in, and a deadly powerful palm push sent him flying through the door. Tank the elder gods Kuai Liang and Bi Han remained on the side.

"Do not even bother coming back in here," you hissed, water swirling in your eyes as you turned around to go to sleep.

*********

That was but a week ago, now Liu Kang, Kuai Liang, Bi Han, and Tomas wait at the fire temple for you to come through the portal after your mission.

While his brother's remained calm and still-faced, Tomas was a little more antsy and nervous. You had left during your fight, and without proper apologies being made (not saying you did anything wrong). Tomas wanted to fix it immediately, and that would begin as soon as you came through the portal.

Right... now!

As the fires that lit the portal up continued to crackle and burn, any sign of your presence was not found. Liu Kang, focusing all his energy into finding you, could not sense you either.

Strange, since you were very punctual for any of your missions. It was a trademark that earned you the nickname "Dead-line" from the other ninjas.

"She is late," Kuai Liang points the obvious out.

"She must have had a run-in with something, perhaps we should-" Tomas is cut off by Bi Han.

"Under no circumstances will you do such a thing, Tomas. She is capable of this, so she is capable of coming home."

Liu Kang agrees, "I will keep the portal open and watch for her. While punctual is a great aspect, not everyone is immune to a little tardiness."

The brothers bow before heading out, Bi Han and Kuai Liang walking a little behind to watch Tomas. How did they know he was nervous? Well, he walked right in front of them, forgetting the order in which they travelled. And his eyes were also downcast, like clouds blocking the sun.

As well-trained as he is, emotions were naturally human. So, naturally, Tomas couldn't hide these feelings no matter his skills and experience.

"Tomas, all will be well," Kuai Liang tries to soothe his anxiety. He turns around, nodding to his words, but his face looks as if he is not accepting it.

"You will see to it you keep yourself in check," Bi Han scolds, "All will be well, carry on as per usual."

Tomas rolls his eyes as Bi Han strides forward. Kuai Liang just puts a hand on his shoulder and offers a kind smile.

"He means well, let us carry on for her," Kuai says, patting his shoulder before walking to follow his elder brother.

Perhaps tomorrow Tomas thinks.

~~~~~~~~~~

Except tomorrow you don't come, nor the day next, nor the day after.

You were tardy by three days, and as much as Tomas buried himself in training, missions, and some paperwork, he couldn't shake the feeling off that something was wrong- horribly wrong.

So, after dinner with his brothers, he waited until everyone was asleep before sneaking out of the palace to the Fire Temple. Mask and attire on, he calls on a portal to be opened to the temple.

Walking through, he is greeted by Liu Kang and some monks on guard. He bows, and Liu Kang does so to reciprocate, though is skeptical on the smoke ninja's unprecedented appearance.

"Tomas, this is unexpected," Liu Kang notes as he sizes him up.

"Lord Liu Kang, please permit me to go (y/n)," he says, bowing again to further his desperation in finding you. Liu Kang chuckles, telling him to raise his head.

"You love her very deeply, that much is evident," Liu Kang said, pulling out a chi-director from his pocket.

Tomas stares at the device, back at Lord Liu Kang, and then back at the device. He takes the glowing blue compass and bows deeply, revering him in respect before fire pops and cracks, and the portal opens. Tomas runs through the portal and allows the compass to guide him.

As he takes his surroundings in, Tomas realizes he's in the hinterlands of Outworld, and a cold part of Outworld at that. Of course, he was trained to deal with such weather, but being out for this far for this long, you may be on the brink of your doom.

The compass glows in Tomas's hands, and the hand inside spins like a twister gone rogue. Finally, it focuses on a direction southeast, and Tomas trudges in the growing snow of the region.

After following the compass, he was led to a cave in the side of a mountain. Inside, he saw the faint glow of a fire and heard low breathing from within.

As he rounds the inside, he finds you tending to a gash on your shoulder. You have plants with healing qualities by your side and a cloth loosely pulled over the bleeding. Plus your magic was working over the open wound.

"Who goes- Tomas?" your hands were in defensive positions, but they went back to your wound at him in your sight.

"My darling," he sighs, running to your side as he tries to stop the bleeding.

You wince at the force in which he pressed a ripped cloth into your shoulder, but welcome it as your magic was dulling the pain.

"Fancy seeing you here," you say with a sarcastic tone.

"Dear, please," Tomas lightly scolds you, in which you silently allow him to treat you.

It's quiet between both of you, and the only thing to fill the void of quiet was howling of the wind outside.

Tomas begins to stretch the cloth out in little strings, to make a makeshift bandage for your wound. He's staring at your back, and your head is turned to the side as he tends to the horrid wound.

"Usually you aren't this late," he tries to lighten the mood, but it's clear you're not up to the jokes.

Once Tomas wraps your wound perfectly, he moves around to face you, but your head remains away.

Instead of speaking, Tomas wraps you in the warmest, gentlest hug, and your eyes are shining with tears are you inhale his natural musk.

"Thank the elder gods you're alright."

Your shoulders rack in his chest as you cry and wrap a singular arm around him.

"I'm so sorry," you sob as tears begin flow, "I'm so sorry for being so mean, sorry for being so brash, you're rig-."

Tomas shushes you, one hand rubbing your head and the other your back in up and down motions. You cry harder at his tenderness- why wasn't he angry? Why was he so nice?

You literally chucked him out of the bedroom, and he remains kind to you?

"I don't care about that anymore," he whispers. "The minute you didn't come through the portal that day, everything else fell away."

Oh, that's right.

If it weren't for a rogue blade from the enemy, you'd have gotten home earlier.

You wince as the adrenaline begins to wear off, and the pain in your shoulder finally begins to settle in.

Tomas notices, and he chuckles as he sets you down against the wall softly.

"At least you won't be chucking me through doors anytime soon," he laughs as he begins to clean the wound up a bit.

You flinch at the pain, but push through so Tomas can make sure it doesn't get infected.

"I'm sorry, dear," you begin again. "Truly, I'm so sorry for doing that to you all those weeks ago."

Tomas shakes his head as he rubs some healing plants on the wound, "I want to apologize. Using my tone against you like that, especially after such an experience. It was uncalled for, dishonorable for a man."

He wraps the wound up again, holds a hand out to you, and picks you up after you take it.

"Let's get you home, dear," Tomas says as he sweeps you off your feet.

In his arms, you finally collapse and give your eyes a rest from the crying.

The real talk can happen later, you just need Tomas for now.

=====================

no yap notes

see y'all in the next fic!

[lucy90712]

Pedri angst leading up to asking gf to marry him

Work has been stressful recently but so have things at home. Life with Pedri has been so good he treats me like a queen and we are really happy together or at least I thought we were. For the past month or so he's been acting really weird sometimes he hides his phone from me and other times I've caught him quickly hiding things from me in his bedside table and then he acts like nothing is wrong. To start with I didn't think much of it but because it's persisted I've started to worry about it. Everyone I've told about the situation doesn't seem worried about it which is making me feel crazy they keep saying that there must be a reason as Pedri would never hurt me intentionally. Even my dad didn't immediately jump to all the bad things Pedri could be hiding he told me that everything would be fine which is so unlike him he always jumps to the worst case scenario then works backwards to the more realistic option. 

I've been trying so hard to just forget about it but it's not that easy when your boyfriend is clearly hiding something from you it's hard not to believe the worst even if I didn't think he'd cheat on me that's the first thing that enters my brain. However we are going on holiday together today which I have been a bit hesitant about with everything that's been going on but Pedri seems to be looking forward to it so maybe things will be better once we are away. He booked this holiday months and months ago as he wanted us to go to somewhere we can relax with not many people around which at the time sounded nice but now it worries me a little. 

Even though Pedri has been acting weirdly I'm hoping this holiday is what he needs as maybe he's just been stressed and some time away from everything will change the way he's been acting. Our flight was quite early so there would be less people in the airport so when my alarm went off I rolled out of bed still very sleepy while Pedri still looked stressed as he put things in his carry on bag and I almost wanted to go back to bed and not go to the airport as I can't deal with stressed Pedri alone for a week. He calmed down a bit once we had both finished packing and was actually quite affectionate he held my hand in the taxi and the entire way through the airport and he kept giving me kisses as we waited to board. It was so nice to have my boyfriend back I didn't realise how much I missed all of this affection from him until he was cuddling me and I nearly forgot about everything that's been going on for the past month. 

~~~~~~~~~~

The affection Pedri showed me in the airport didn't last too long once we arrived we unpacked and then just sat outside by the pool in the house we are staying at. I sat with a book which I got so engrossed with that I didn't realise Pedri had left but he left me a message saying he would be back in a few hours. I expected him to go and get some food for us but he came back empty handed. He's has done the same thing a few more times in the few days we have been here and each time he won't tell me what he's doing. Things are just like they were back home if not worse as he has barely spoke to me since we got here and it's just making me upset at this point. 

Everything has gotten so bad that I've decided I have to talk to Pedri and I want answers. I really didn't want to ruin the holiday by talking about this but I don't want to put up with it anymore I know Pedri will push back but I'm not going to let it go until he tells me the truth even if it's not what I want to hear. Even if I have to hear that he doesn't love me anymore and he's found someone else I just want to know as this weird phase we are in is hurting me just as much as knowing the truth might. 

Waking up this morning Pedri wasn't in bed next to me but a minute later he came back in the bedroom with breakfast for both of us which was a real surprise but a welcomed one. He handed me a tray with pancakes, strawberries and fresh orange juice on and kissed my cheek as he did so. He still wasn't quite himself as he wasn't as talkative as I'm used to him being but he acknowledged my existence at least which is really something. 

"What do you want to do today?" He asked 

"I don't know but I'd like to spend some time with you I've missed spending time together" I said

"We can do that and tonight I want to take you out to dinner" he said 

"I like the sound of that" I said leaning over to kiss him 

We both got ready and took a walk to the nearest little town to get some things for a picnic on the beach. Pedri held my hand the entire walk and he carried everything including all the food and beach supplies then he took over the set up while I just took in the view of the beach and a shirtless Pedri which was even better than the beach. Once everything was set up Pedri started feeding me strawberries which I very much enjoyed as I love strawberries and I had no idea he got them. It seems like his romantic side has come back all of a sudden but I'm not going to complain as I love this side of him and I missed him acting this way for the last month. As much as I love having my loving boyfriend back I still want to know what's been going on with him as he can't just hide things from me and expect me not to ask questions. I still want to enjoy today though so I don't want to say anything until after dinner as not to ruin the day. 

After spending most of the day on the beach swimming together and cuddling on the shore we walked back to the house so we could get ready for dinner. I let Pedri shower first as he doesn't take as long and I wanted to wash my hair. I decided to do an everything shower because I want to look good when we go out seeing as it's been a while since we e been on a date. By the time I got out the shower Pedri was already waiting for me in the living room but I still took my time choosing a dress and doing my hair and makeup. I never wear a ton of makeup or do anything too crazy with my hair so I stuck with that tonight but I still think I looked good with my hair in beach waves a light bit of makeup and red dress. Once I was ready I headed out to find Pedri who was sat on his phone waiting for me but as soon as he heard the sound of my heels on the floor he looked up and smiled. 

"Wow you look amazing so beautiful" he said 

"Thank you you look good too I love this look on you" I said admiring his white shirt that wasn't buttoned all the way and his black trousers 

"I almost don't want the rest of the world to see you look so beautiful but we have a reservation so we have to go" he said 

He gently kissed my cheek and we headed to the car we have been renting and rive to the nearest town which we could've walked to but I didn't ask questions. The restaurant was really nice it had slightly dimmed lighting but each table had candles and flowers on it which made it feel a bit more romantic and intimate. Our table was at the back of the restaurant with a view of the beach which was really nice. The food was amazing and the staff were lovely but they left us to it which I always appreciate as there are times we have had dates ruined by staff not leaving us alone. We actually had a really lovely time Pedri still seemed a little off but it seemed more like nerves than anything else so I didn't think too much off it. Pedri paid and said we had something else planned so we needed to go before the sun set fully which I thought was a bit strange but I trust him so I just let him drive to wherever we are going. 

It wasn't long before we arrived at the top of a small mountain which was really secluded but had a view of the sunset over the beach. The view was breathtaking the sky was filled with pinks and purples as the sun was going over the horizon and the waves on the beach were calm but they still crashed against the shore making a sound that he always found quite calming. I was so entranced by the view that I'd completely forgotten that Pedri was supposed to be with me until I turned around and saw him down on one knee holding a box with a ring in his hand. That's when it all started to make sense he's been planning this for a while which is why he's been so secretive and nervous as he's really not good at keeping secrets. All of it hit me like a ton of bricks and tears started falling down my face as I realised that this was really happening. 

"Y/n I have never met anyone as amazing and as beautiful as you and I've never loved anyone the way I love you so I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else so will you make me the luckiest man alive and marry me" he said 

"Yes a million times yes" I said 

He slid the ring on my finger before standing up and kissing me. The ring was absolutely beautiful it didn't have a huge diamond on it or anything really flashy but that's exactly what I wanted in an engagement ring and I'm so happy Pedri thought about what I'd want not getting the fanciest ring known to man just because that's what people would expect him to do. 

"Do you like the ring?" He asked 

"I love it it is exactly what I have dreamed about and it fits perfectly" I said 

"I'm so glad you like it the boys weren't sure as it doesn't have a big diamond on it but I thought you'd prefer something more understated" he explained 

"You were right I love it but I love you a lot more I'd take any ring you gave me because it's from you" I said 

"I know I've been acting weirdly for the last couple weeks and I'm sorry about that I've just been so nervous about asking you to marry me and stressed about making it perfect because that's what you deserve but I promise things will go back to normal now" he said 

"Its ok I was worried maybe you didn't love me anymore but clearly that's not the case it all makes more sense now especially my dad not being suspicious about the way you were acting” I laughed 

“I asked for his blessing before I did anything so he’s been keeping this a secret for a while” he said 

“Well he sure did a good job and so did you on setting this all up I’ll never forget this day” I said 

He gave me another kiss and grabbed his phone which I didn’t see and showed me the video he had taken of the whole thing. Watching it back only made me happier as I got to see the smiles on our faces and the view behind us was beautiful and will make for some great pictures if we can get some from the video. We stayed up the top of the mountain for a while just soaking in the moment and enjoying our first moments as an engaged couple. It’s moments like these with Pedri that make me realise just how good life is and how I can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together. 

[ghost-in-the-hall]

My Girl (Fatgum x Fem! Reader) SMUT

This fic was purely self indulgent because I've been going through a lot recently and Fatgum's one of my comfort characters, so, be nice, please.

WARNINGS: MINORS DNI, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, 18+, SMUT, AFAB reader, Fem! Reader, use of she/her pronouns, mentions of body dysmorphia and lack of self esteem, mentions of weight, p in v sex, pussy eating, Dom! Taishiro, being restrained by partner, praise kink, size kink, unprotected sex, other than that just pure fluff (lmk if I missed anything.) Enjoy!

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You paused the work you were doing on your laptop when your phone began buzzing on your nightstand. You looked at the caller ID curiously, it was your boss. He never called you on your day off. You answered the call in a panic, surely something had to be wrong. Fatgum was always trying to ensure you were resting properly. 'You work too hard as it is, sweets. I don't want you to worry about work at home too.' "Hey! You busy today?" Your body instantly relaxed at the sound of his usual jovial tone on the other end of the line.

"Not in the slightest." You set your laptop on your bed next to you, wanting to give him your undivided attention. "Do you need me to come in today?"

"Do you really think I'd ask you to come in on your day off?" You stifled a giggle at his mockingly offended tone. "I was going to do some shopping and stuff around the city today… I would like you to come with me if you can. Maybe I could take you out to dinner while we're out?"

"Are you asking me out on a date?" You could hear his nervous stuttering on the other end of the line.

"I… Um, yeah, I guess I am." He chuckles. "Would you like to go on a date with me?" The words came out slowly, the briefest of pauses between each one as if he was carefully thinking about every syllable that left his lips

"I would love to, Tai." You couldn't keep the beaming smile off your face.

"Great!" His voice flooded with relief. "I'll pick you up in an hour." The two of you exchanged your goodbye's before you hung up to get ready. You had been working with Tai for years now, he was someone you very quickly learned to call a friend. However, throughout your years of working in such close proximity with him you had developed a little crush on the BMI hero. It was nice to see that your feelings weren't one sided, but, you would be lying if you said you weren't still a little nervous. You must have tried on everything in your wardrobe before deciding on an outfit, groaning as nothing fit you exactly how you wanted it to. You knew you shouldn't be putting so much thought into this. You had come such a long way with Taishiro's help, but as you looked at yourself in the mirror you couldn't help but have doubts. Part of the reason you wanted to work under Taishiro in the first place was because of what he stood for. Fatgum made being big something to be proud of. Your squishy tummy and muscular thighs were something to be celebrated, not ridiculed. You put on an outfit you felt confident in, and it helped you feel a bit better. It was funny really, whenever you started to feel negatively about how you looked you would always think back to Tai. Numerous press events, formal dinners, company trips, he was there to build you up whenever your confidence wavered. Now should be no different. Before you realized it an hour had passed, you perked up at the sound of someone gently knocking at your door. There in front of you stood Taishiro in his civilian form, holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers. You were a bit shocked when you saw him, you were so used to Fatgum that you had forgotten what he looked like in his civilian form. Loose white Tshirt hanging off his frame, messy blond hair falling perfectly against his forehead, the only thing resembling the hero you knew so well was his unmistakable smile.

"You brought me flowers?" You were in awe that he remembered what your favorites were, something you had only told him once in passing a while ago.

"Pretty flowers for the prettiest girl I know." You inhaled their sweet aroma as you took the bouquet from him, inviting him inside while you looked for a vase to put it in. "Thank you for letting me take you on a date." You gently grabbed his arm, squeezing his bicep with a small smile.

"There isn't anyone I'd rather go on a date with." You notice him blush slightly at your compliment. "I almost didn't recognize you when I opened the door, it's been a long time since I've seen you in civilian form." He looks down at the floor, kicking his toe against the hardwood.

"I figured you'd rather go on a date with Taishiro… not Fatgum." You couldn't help but notice his dejected tone. You take a step closer to him, reaching out and taking his hand in yours.

"Tai, I like you for you, not how fat of skinny you are." Golden eyes finally find yours, smile already returning to his lips. "You make me laugh, you and I could talk about anything for hours and I would never get bored, you give amazing hugs." You giggle and he laughs, thumb languidly running over your knuckles. "Those are the things that made me fall for you, not some silly number. Besides, fat form or not, I think you're incredibly handsome." You let out a flustered giggle at such a direct complement. He pulled you to him, arms wrapping tightly around you as his chin rested in the top of your head.

"Have I ever told you how amazing you are." He squeezes you, earning yet another laugh from your much smaller form. "Let's go have some fun, yeah?" You nod, fingers lacing with his as you leave your apartment building. The two of you made your way to what many considered the shopping district of the city, your eyes wide as you peruzed the window displays of each store. You paused in front of one shop in particular, a sexy little cocktail dress catching your attention. "You'd look great in that darlin'." You jumped slightly at Taishiro's voice right next to your ear. He saw the hesitance in your expression, knowing exactly the thought process you were going through. His hands fell on your waist, a blush immediately erupting on your cheeks. You could feel the heat radiating from his body as he remained just far enough away so as to not have his whole torso pressed against your back. "Why don't you go try it on? I'd like to see it on you." You swallowed thickly, nodding and placing your hands on top of his. He kept an arm securely around you as you headed into the store, Taishiro doing all of the talking so you wouldn't feel pressured. The sales associate inside was more than happy to help. She walked with you to the dressing rooms in the back, Taishiro making himself comfortable on one of the chairs just outside with an excited smile on his face.

"You and your boyfriend are absolutely adorable." She squeals quietly. You thanked her, the self doubt that was still flooding your mind making it hard to focus. She brought you the dress you had your eye on, helping you get zipped up before you returned to the main floor. At the first sight of you Taishiro's jaw dropped. He fumbled with his wallet, pulling out his credit card and passing it off to the sales associate.

"Tai, you really don't have to do that," you hurried over to him. "I'm not even sure if I like it." He stood, taking your hand and bringing you over to the full length mirror by the dressing rooms. He turned you so you could look at yourself, your arms immediately coming up to cross over your torso. You felt so exposed. He ran his hands up and down your sides, over every curve you felt insecure about.

"You look beautiful, sweets." He stooped down to rest his chin on your shoulder. "Is there anything I can do? I want my girl to feel as pretty as I think she looks."

"Your girl, huh?" You saw Taishiro's face flush in the reflection. You looked at yourself in the mirror again, letting your arms fall to the side. Tai's compliment didn't take away your insecurity but it definitely helped dull the sting it left in your chest. "You promise I look okay?"

"You look more than okay darlin'." He hugs you from behind. "You look perfect." The sales associate returns with a bag for your clothes that still remained in the dressing room, Taishiro convincing you to wear the dress out of the store. You tried to argue that it wouldn't go with your sneakers, but he couldn't be swayed. As you walked you reached out for his hand once more, he laced his fingers with yours eagerly. You couldn't remember the last time you had this much fun. The two of you made your way from shop to shop, giddy and laughing the entire way. Taishiro never left your side; whether the two of you were holding hands, he had an arm wrapped around your shoulders, or he was pulling you into a hug, your thoughts didn't have a chance to deviate away from the butterflies he gave you. You sat across from him at a small table in an outdoor noodle shop you had stumbled across as your day wound down. Chin resting in your hands as you watched him carry on a jovial conversation with the shop owner. You had already known, but today really cemented things for you. You were in love with him. "And she'll have the same." He turns to look at you once more with that breathtaking smile. "I hope you don't mind that I ordered for you."

"I trust your judgment on the food here." You giggle. He reaches across the table and takes your hand in his, gently rubbing his thumb over your knuckles.

"I really wish today didn't have to end, I've had a really good time with you." His gaze lingered on your lips for just a moment, but it was enough to get you flustered. You thought about kissing this man more often than you would like to admit. Now, with him sitting here in the soft orange lantern light, the warmth of his hand mingling with your own, the thought was beginning to creep its way to the front of your mind yet again. The two of you gradually began to lean closer to each other over the table as you quietly conversed, the background buzz of the other patrons lost to you. You were startled apart by your food arriving at the table. After a delicious meal and fantastic company Taishiro walked you home, cutting through the park to spend just a little more time with him. Your intertwined hands swung between you as your conversation carried on. You both fell silent as you came across a street performer who was playing a soft melody on his guitar. Taishiro paused and looked down at you. "Would you like to dance, darlin'?"

"I would love to." You say quietly. Taishiro wraps an arm around your waist, gazing longingly into your eyes as you swayed with him in the warm night air. Crickets and frogs accompanying the instrumentals as your heart pounded in your chest. "I… really like you Tai." He smiles softly down at you, the hand on your waist giving you a gentle squeeze.

"I really like you too." His voice barely above a whisper as golden eyes remained locked with yours. You noticed him swallow thickly, tongue peeking out to wet his lips before he slowly began to inch his face closer to yours. Your eyes slid shut as his grip on your waist tightened, pulling you flush against him. It was perfect, he was perfect, his lips were hovering over yours when suddenly you were interrupted.

"Hey is that Fatgum?" You both sighed, opening your eyes you were met with the sight of an apologetic smile on his lips as his fans rushed over to him. Being a well known hero like him had its drawbacks sometimes, you had been working with him long enough that privacy could be a luxury. After some casual conversation and photos were taken the two of you continued on your way, eventually arriving at your apartment.

"Sorry bout that." He chuckles bashfully.

"It's really okay, I wouldn't want you to sacrifice your reputation with your fans just for me." You step closer to him, resting your hands on his chest. "Besides… I'm really hoping this isn't the only date we get to go on."

"Oh, don't you worry, sweets, I plan on spoiling my girl every chance I get." Your heart fluttered at him calling you his girl. He pulls you into a tight hug, neither one of you wanting to let go. As you pulled back you placed a soft kiss to his cheek. "Goodnight." He stood in front of you with a bashful expression, rocking slightly on his heels.

"Goodnight, I'll see you tomorrow." You both wave as you close your door. You let out a sigh as you kicked off your shoes, about to head out of your entry way when there was a knock at your door. You opened it to see Taishiro still standing there.

"I'm sorry… I just-" He lets out a frustrated groan as he stutters before pulling you to him. His lips crashed against yours with such passionate ferocity or caused you to stumble back, one of his arms circling around your waist, the other gripping firmly onto the doorframe to keep you both upright. Kissing Taishiro made you feel like you were floating. His lips soft and warm against yours as the entirety of him flooded your senses. The sweet, musky scent of his cologne. His hand gripping your waist as he held you as close to him as he could. His hair soft against your fingers as they tangled into it. It was probably the best kiss you had ever experienced. Your lips trailed after his as he reluctantly pulled back. A warm hand found its way to your face from the doorframe, your head still spinning from the kiss.

You stood there, wide eyed and breathless as you gazed up at him, your body hot with want. "Tai, would you like to come inside?" He responded simply by scooping you up in strong arms, pushing through the half open door and ducking his head under the doorframe as he entered your apartment. The door was closed and your back was pressed against it, Taishiro's size and strength allowing him to move your body around with ease. Your legs wrapped around his torso as he settled himself between your thighs, lips finding yours again with ease as he hungrily captured your lips with his own. A massive hand cups your jaw with an almost shocking delicacy, Taishiro's presence already beginning to overwhelm you in such a short amount of time. His thumb swipes over your cheek as he gazes down at you, his expression a mixture of lust and nerves.

"Are you sure this is okay, sweetheart?" You felt your chest swell at the care he was putting into making sure you were comfortable. You pushed your fingers through his messy blond hair.

"I'm sure." Your voice soft and small as it left you. Despite the fact that Taishiro wanted you more than anything else in the world at the moment, yet still held you so delicately, allowed you to feel safe. You knew the man before you better than anyone, and you were eager to see what kind of mind numbing pleasure he would help you experience. Your hands rest on his chest, he still scanned your features for any sign of apprehension. "I want to experience all of you Taishiro." That was all it took to send him tumbling over the edge. A low growl rumbled in his chest as he attacked your neck, lips leaving a trail of fire across your skin. You couldn't help but gasp at the feeling of his rough, calloused fingers sliding underneath the hem of your dress, successfully hiking the fabric up to your waist with ease.

"Such a pretty little thing you are darlin'." He massaged your thighs, the room filled with the chorus of small gasps and moans that fell effortlessly from your lips as he nipped and sucked dark marks onto your cleavage. "I want everyone to know you're mine after tonight sweets." You let out a surprised yelp as Taishiro dropped to his knees, throwing your legs over his shoulders and bringing him face to face with your already soaked cunt. "You like to be tossed around a little. Don't you, princess?" You bit your lip, your head connecting with the wood behind you with a full thud. Your cheeks burned, embarrassed that he managed to get you turned on so easily. Taishiro chuckles at your expression before placing soft kisses along your thigh. You squirmed in his grasp, his hot breath fanning over your exposed skin. "Be a good girl and sit still for me darlin'." You would have laughed if you weren't in such an exposing predicament. It's not like you had a choice whether or not you would sit still, Tai had his arms snaked around your thighs in a vice grip, you couldn't have escaped even if you wanted to. You whined, fingers tangling in his hair, the pet name turning you on even more. You wanted to be good for him, to have him push you over the edge of your climax over and over again until you went limp. But, even in just your day to day life, Taishiro was a tease; Rolling up his sleeves to show up his muscular forearms and hands as he perched himself just a little too close to you at your desk to read something, he was very good at getting you flustered with the simplest actions. Now was no different. Panties ripped from your body and discarded as he kissed the lower half of your body everywhere besides where you needed him to most.

"Tai," you whine his name, giving his hair a gentle tug, "please." He rested his head against your thigh, looking up at you with a smirk as he noticed just how needy you were for him. He hadn't even touched you yet and you were already coming undone before his eyes. His eyes kept you locked in place, keeping eye contact with you as he finally gave you some relief. You cried out for him, giving his hair another firm tug. You felt him smirk against you at your outburst, satisfied with your reaction. He ate you out like you were his last meal, every movement from his skilled tongue threatening to send your climax crashing over you. Your body moved on its own as you ground your soaked pussy against his face. He hums against you, glad to see you enjoying yourself. You gasped as he slipped a finger inside you, wanting to get you as prepared as possible for later. "Fuck, you're so good at this." You couldn't help but giggle, your head swimming in pure pleasure.

His thumb replaced his tongue against your clit, rubbing circles at a firm, even pace over the already sensitive nub. "I'm glad you're enjoying yourself." He chuckles. "Think you can keep up? You're already looking pretty fucked out sweets." You could hear the shit eating grin in his voice, your response cut off with a moan as he slipped another finger inside of you. Your cunt was already stretched around his fingers alone, you couldn't even begin to imagine what his cock would feel like inside of you. You pushed down on his fingers, strangled gasps and moans leaving your shaking frame as he inched you closer to your orgasm. "Are you going to finish for me darlin'?" You nod, biting down on your lip to try and quiet your sounds. "Eyes on me sweets, I want you to look at me while you cum." Your face burned as you locked eyes with him, your head empty aside from any command he gave you. His mouth returns to your sex, assaulting your clit with his tongue before sucking it roughly into his mouth. You screamed his name as you climaxed, your legs shaking, crushing Taishiro's head between them in the process. He places one last kiss on your clit once he finishes with you, causing you to jolt. He helps you down off of his shoulders, arms never ceasing to support you as your feet hit the cold wooden floor. "Where's the bedroom?" You attempted to start walking in its direction, your legs felt like jelly as they struggled to keep you upright. You giggled as he scooped you up in his arms again.

"It's the last door on the left." He carries you through the door, setting you gently on the bed before leaning down to kiss you, the taste of you still on his lips. He tugged at the bottom of your dress, asking your permission to fully remove it. You gave him a nervous nod in response, allowing him to peel the fabric off your body. He took in the full sight of you with a smile, you couldn't help but notice the massive bulge in his pants as he stood in front of you.

"You are so beautiful sweets." He pulled his shirt over his head. Even in his civilian form he still had the soft tummy you loved so much, the softly defined muscles of his arms and chest, he really was flawless. As he stepped out of his pants you realized you were in trouble. Taishiro's impressive length looked like it was enough to rip your small frame in two. He chuckles at the slight fear he saw in your eyes. "Don't worry darlin', I'm gonna take my time getting you ready." He was back on you in an instant, lips finding yours with ease as he carefully laid you back. His massive paw cupped your sex, slowly palming you to help you relax. You whimpered softly, grinding against him to try and get more friction. He chuckles, "not enough sweetheart?" His thumb runs languid circles against the bundle of nerves, still sensitive from your last climax you moan softly into the crook of his neck. Two fingers teased at your entrance before they pushed inside you. The intensity of being so suddenly stretched open caused you to tense, Taishiro stopped the instant he felt it. Soft kisses were placed along your neck and shoulder, "just relax princess, I got you. You doin' alright?" You nod against him, arms holding onto him as tightly as you could manage. Your muscles loosened, allowing him to fully slide his fingers inside you. You feel him start to move slowly inside of you, fingers rapidly being able to slip in and out of you with ease as they become slick with your juices. Your feverish panting and Taishiro's gentle praise broke up the silence. "Such a good girl, you take my fingers so well, sweets, you're doing such a good job." A veil of sweat now covered your skin, every small touch sent a jolt of electricity across your exposed body. Your nails dug into his back as Taishiro added a third finger. You hissed at the slight sting but urged him to keep going, it felt incredible and you didn't want him to stop. The slow thrusting of his fingers began to pick up again, everytime brushing a certain spot inside of you that numbed your mind completely. Your vision went white as your second orgasm hit you, this one even more intense than the first one. You whimpered and squirmed in his grasp. Taishiro looked down at your quivering form with bright eyes as his thumb picked up its pace on your clit.

"Taishiro, fuck!" Your fingers raked down his back, you were sure you had left marks behind but he didn't seem phased in the slightest. A second orgasm crashed into you right after the other one. You bit down on his shoulder to muffle the scream that ripped through you. He gradually slowed his pace, allowing you to come down from your high. You looked down to see his free hand pumping his massive erection. You placed a hand on his chest, letting your head fall back against the mattress as you tried to regain control of your breathing. "Lube… bottom drawer… just give me a second." You giggled through your panting. Taishiro retrieved the bottle, before he had the chance to prepare himself, you decided to help him. You placed a hand on his waist, nudging him in the direction of the bed. He says down without complaint, smirking as he watches you squirt copious amounts of lube into your palm. You gently pushed the head of his cock against your hand, he let out a low groan, his head tilting back slightly as he kept himself propped up on his elbows to watch you.

"Fuck, sweetheart. Your hands feel really good." He smiles, his flushed cheeks and blown out pupils leaving nothing to the imagination about how good you were making him feel. You pumped him slowly, a soft moan escaping his lips whenever your palm dragged over his tip. Now sufficiently lubed up, Taishiro grabbed you by your waist and tossed you onto the mattress, eliciting an excited squeal from you. "You ready darlin'?" You nodded, attempting to let your body relax as much as possible. He ran the tip of his cock along your entrance, the lube making you even more wet than you already were. He slowly eased into you, stopping at any sign of discomfort and allowing you to adjust. You leaned into his touch as he rested a hand on your cheek, groaning as he got as deep inside of you as he possibly could. You whimpered as your walls stretched around his thick length, hiding your face against him as he sat there motionless, allowing you to adjust. "I'm gonna try and move princess, stop me if it's too much." He eases himself out of you and carefully pushes back in. Placing gentle kisses against the side of your face, telling you repeatedly how good you're doing, how incredible you felt around him. Slowly the discomfort dissipated and you were filled with nothing but pure pleasure.

"Faster." You stammer out. Taishiro wasted no time on your request, gradually picking up speed until your screams of pleasure were the only sound that filled the room. He kissed you hard, the ruthless thrusting paired with his lips on yours taking your breath away. You tugged him back by his hair slightly, "I'm gunna-fuck." The words you were trying to get out were cut off by your high pitched whine, your toes curling and head spinning from how good he was making you feel.

"Me too sweetheart." His thrusts were starting to get sloppy, his intensity dropping as he neared his own climax. He quickly pulled out of you, pumping his cock as hot ropes of cum shot all over your stomach and chest. He gave you one more soft kiss l, looking lovingly into your eyes as he gently cupped your face. "How are you feeling, princess?"

You nodded, voice coming out in a horse croak as you spoke, "wonderful." Taishiro chuckles, giving you a quick peck before he stood up.

"I'll be right back, I think I saw your bathroom across the hall right?" You nodded, watching him as he disappeared only to come back a few moments later with a cloth to clean you up with. "Alright sweets, let's get you cleaned up, yeah?" He carefully ran the warm washcloth over your body, being as gentle as he possibly could as he cleaned you up. You hissed as he ran the cloth over your sex, knowing you would be incredibly sore come morning. "Sorry 'bout that sweetheart."

"It's okay, I didn't expect to walk away unscathed." The two of you shared a laugh as he discarded the cloth and crawled into bed next to you, helping you under the covers. He pulled you into his arms, you nuzzled against his chest.

"Do you, um… do you want to make things official?" He asked you nervously. You rest your chin on his chest, gazing up at him with an expression nothing short of pure adoration.

"Tai," he turned his gaze down to look at you as you said his name. "I've had feelings for you for a long time. Today was… perfect. I would go up to the roof and scream that you're my boyfriend right now if my legs would carry me there." He chuckles, running his fingers through your hair.

"Your boyfriend, huh? And you're my girlfriend." He beams down at you, you nod with a giggle. "I'd really like that." You push yourself upwards to kiss him before snuggling into his side. You drifted off in his arms that night, completely content now that he was at your side. You woke up the next morning to the smell of breakfast cooking in the kitchen. You got yourself dressed, stretching as you wandered your way into the kitchen. Taishiro stood there in nothing but his boxers, the sight alone was enough to bring a smile to your face. You hugged him from behind, placing a kiss between his shoulder blades before laying your head against his back. "Mornin' darlin'."

"Morning." You sigh sleepily. You were about to ask him how long he'd been up when there was a frantic knock at the door. Peering out into the hallway you saw Taishiro's two sidekicks standing there with a nervous expression. "Kirishima, Amajiki, what are you two doing here?"

"Fatgum's missing, we've been trying to call him all morning, he never made it to the office-" Kirishima was cut off by their mentor appearing behind you in the doorway. "Oh-"

"I forgot to charge my phone. Smart plan coming to (Y/N)'s though, good job boys." He wraps an arm around your shoulders, the two of them absolutely dumbfounded by what they were seeing. "Come on in, I'm making breakfast."

[blue-blue-blooms]

When Love Isn't Enough

Steve Harrington x Henderson!Reader

Part 1

1.6k words

Summary: Steve can feel you pulling away. You haven't been yourself in a while, becoming more and more withdrawn. It doesn't help that there's an evil wizard on the loose and you meet the checklist for the perfect prey.

Warnings: Some angst. Talks of depression, loneliness, and suicidal ideation.

"Y/N hasn't been herself lately. And, I don't know, she's been pulling away recently. Not physically. More, like, she's there but she isn't. She's in the room with me and she's pretending to listen, but I can tell she's thinking about something else. And it isn't like she's bored or, like, daydreaming, she just seems...distant. She keeps saying she's fine, but I know that she's not. I mean, she thinks I haven't noticed, but she doesn't eat much anymore. She barely sleeps and she claims it's because of school, or work, or whatever excuse she has...Robin, are you listening to me?" Steve rambles, one hand on the steering wheel and the other running through his hair in frustration, as he drives Robin to the pep rally. 

"Yes, yes, I'm listening!" Robin exclaims, desperately trying to keep her hand steady as she applies her mascara. 

"Really? What'd I just say then?" Steve asks.

"Something about how obsessed you are with Y/N and the smell of her hair," Robin guesses, immediately backtracking as she sees the look on Steve's face, "I'm sorry! But there's always so much going on in your love life. I can't fully grasp the labyrinthine complexity that is your and Y/N's relationship!"

"It's not that complex, I'm worried about her!" Steve says, "Like just today, she calls me and says not to drive her and Dustin to school because they're biking. She doesn't even own a bike!"

Robin stops applying her makeup for a second and looks over. Realizing the severity of Steve's emotions, she lets out a little sigh and gives him a gentle nudge with her hand. 

"I'm worried about her, too" She confesses, "I don't think she's mentioned this to anyone so please don't bring it up with her, but her grades have been slipping. A lot."

"Really?"

"Yeah, and I've seen her at the counsellor’s office" Robin admits.

"Ms. Kelley?"

Robin nods. 

"Well...Why didn't she say anything to me?" Steve asks, his face falling as he tries to come up with reasons as to why you aren't opening up. 

"I...I don't know. She hasn't been speaking to me, either. We sit together during lunch, but she barely talks to me. I just talk at her, and she just sits in silence," Robin replies, "Have you tried bringing this up with her?"

Steve pauses for a bit then says, "No...I didn't wanna push her. It just feels like...like she's teetering on the edge these days, and if I say the wrong thing, she'll run."

♡♡♡

Most days start like this: you wake up gasping for breath, one hand on your chest and the other stifling your sobs. Another nightmare. Sometimes it's about the Russians, sometimes it's about finding a Demogorgon eating your cat, sometimes it's about Billy and the Mind Flayer, sometimes it's about losing Hopper, but every time it hurts just as bad. You wish you hadn't gone to Mike Wheeler's that day to check up on Dustin. You wish you hadn't found out about Eleven or the lab or the Upside Down. But everything in your life is so deeply intertwined that you would have found out one way or another. It's beyond you how everyone else in Hawkins has remained so oblivious. 

Even though you wish you could rewind and take back every moment that led you to where you are now, you know in your heart that you wouldn't. If it wasn't for all the shit you had to go through, you wouldn't have the people you have now. You wouldn't have ever befriended Nancy Wheeler. You would've never met Robin Buckley. You and Dustin would never have grown as close as you are now. You wouldn't have the golden-dusted, happy memories that you made last summer with Max and El. You never would've learned how to play DnD with Will. And you never would have fallen in love. 

You never saw Steve coming. Well, you did see him coming that day when you and Dustin were at the Wheelers looking for everyone. He had roses in his hands, and he was mumbling to himself. For a second, you thought he'd caved into the insanity of what he'd gone through and lost his mind. 

"Are you talking to yourself?" you'd asked loudly, making him quickly turn around, "Do you need help?"

"What? No! I was just-" he'd stuttered, "What're you two doing here? Actually, who are you?" The last question was directed at you. 

"Who am I? The bitch that sat behind you in English for two years. I've been lending you pencils for months. Are you serious-" you'd snapped at him, a little offended at him for not recognizing you. 

"We don't have time for this!" Dustin yelled, interrupting you, as he took your hand and dragged you to Steve's car. 

You always laugh a little when you remember that particular memory. It wasn't the first time you two had met (maybe for Steve) but it was the first time you'd both become aware of each other. And it was like something had clicked into place because now that you both knew each other, you couldn't drift away. Suddenly Steve was everywhere. The summer after El's bitchin new makeover and the whole debacle that was closing the gate to the Upside Down, you and Steve spent every day together. He'd started working at Starcourt and you worked at the Kiosk across from him, which meant you saw each othera lot. Soon, those days of eating free ice cream in the back turned into shy glances, nervous laughter, and stolen kisses. You were his and he was yours. It was almost perfect. Almost. 

Because even with all this love, joy, and friendship, you can't forget that you're rotten to your core. That there is something deeply wrong with you, something gory and disgusting that's been eating you alive. You don't know how to tell Steve that he doesn't know. If he knew you, he'd leave you. You're so broken inside that it's almost comical. Every day starts and ends with a nightmare. Then the headaches. Sometimes the nosebleeds. Always the loud voices in your head reaffirming the beliefs you have of yourself. You're not good enough. Never have been. You're a fraud. Always have been. You don't know what's worse, when you can't breathe or when there's too much oxygen. 

You call Steve and tell him you don't need a ride. Then you make Dustin bike to school, and you wait for your mother to leave for work before climbing back into bed. These days, it was getting harder and harder to do the mundane, everyday tasks. You couldn't get out of bed. You couldn't take a shower. Everything required willpower that you just didn't have.

God, I'm so pathetic. 

You've nearly fallen back asleep when you hear a knock on your door. You ignore it, hoping whoever it is goes away. The knocking continues, growing louder and louder. You let out a curse and hop out of your bed, begrudgingly going to the front door. You open the door and find Steve standing outside. 

"I knew it!" He exclaims, "Why aren't you in school?"

You don't have the energy for this. You just want him to leave. 

"I'm sick," you lie, adding a half-assed cough, "You should be at work."

"If you were sick then why didn't you just say that when you called this morning?" Steve enquired, folding his arms across his chest, and raising an eyebrow. 

"I got sick after" you shrug, "How'd you know I wasn't in school."

"Dustin, he called about some DnD shit and mentioned you weren't in when I asked why you couldn't play," Steve explains, his eyes scanning your face, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," you say.

"No, you're not" Steve replies, coming in through the door and making his way into your room. You silently follow and fall back into bed. 

"Baby, what's going on?" Steve asks softly, getting into bed behind you and laying down.

"Just a headache," you mumble, "I'm fine."

You feel him padding his fingers through your hair and you find yourself lulling back to sleep. But before you can, you hear him start to speak again.

"Not just today, Y/N. What's going on with you? You haven't been yourself lately."

You don't know how to answer this. How do you articulate the absolute mess that is your mind? How do you tell him that you feel like you're on the verge of going insane? How do you tell him that all you feel is agonizing despair and the only reason you're alive is because you're too much of a coward to die?

"I just...haven't been feeling well," you say, "Just haven't been doing so well."

"How can I help? Can I do anything?" Steve asks, holding you close as he brushes the hair out of your face and lays a soft, lingering kiss on your forehead.

"I don't think anyone can fix it," you reply, turning to face him.

The sun peeks through your blinds and you can just about make out his face in the dark. You lean over and softly kiss him. He's everything that you're not but you're too selfish to let go.

"I just wish you'd speak to me, tell me what's going on in your head. I just feel locked out, baby." Steve whispers.

The only response you can manage to give is a mumbled sorry. But there's so much more you'd like to say. Sorry that you're stuck with me, you deserve better. Sorry that I'm like this. Sorry that I'm this broken, this wretched. Sorry that I've fooled you into thinking I'm better than I am. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

You close your eyes and lay your head on his chest. In the darkness of your room, you pray that this moment lasts forever. But as another nightmare sinks its claws into you, you're not sure if you'll make it out alive.

[mytheoristavenue]

CSM Makima x Reader 🍋 - Total Control

Kinktober 2024 - XI

Petplay + Brainwashing

Summary: After taking you into public saftey as one of her 'dogs', Makima explains to you how things work in her shelter.

Warnings: Brainwashing, spoilers, fiend!reader, fem!reader, degredation, praise, pet play, hands free orgasm, short

You fidgetted in your chair, waiting for your new boss to joing you in her office. You'd recently been picked up after having your body possessed by a devil, and you were given the choice to work in the intrest of keeping the public safe, or to be exicuted. Obviously, you chose the latter. Though, something about the woman who'd found you put you off.

The way she spoke made your skn crawl and you could simply tell something about her was unnatural and wrong. And it felt like she knew that you knew that- like she could taste your discomfort. It must have tasted very sweet, because she seemed to go out of her way to make it worse. Speaking of which-

"Good morning, puppy, how are you doing today?" A cheery voice called from behind you, startling you to bits. "My, my, you're jumpy! Is somehting the matter?" She cooed, leaning over the back of your chair, lips hovering close to your ear.

"I-I'm fine, ma'am." You sputtered, trying to lean away from her, but her hands travelled down your arms from your shoulders.

"You aren't afraid of me now, are you?" She asked and you could hear the amusement in her voice.

"N-No ma'am." You insisted, steeling yourself in her touch. "Y-You... wanted to see me?"

"Yes," She smiled, stepping out from behind you to stand in front of you, commanding all your attention. "I wanted to take some time to explain to you how things work around here." You nodded, prompting her to continue as she leaned against the desk. "Consider this place an animal shelter." She smiled, making your skin crawl. "I take in stray dogs, teach them to behave, and then..."

"You sell them?" You ask nervously.

"Not if I can help it. I tend to grow attached to my pets." She sighed, holding her cheek. "But sometimes, yes, my higherups do have me let them go."

"And... me?" You swallowed dryly, nipping your lip apprihensively.

"You're my latest little pup, I have great asperations for you." She confrimed in a sickly sweet tone.

"A-And... if I disappoint you?"

"You won't." She chirped cryptically. "Now then, have you ever had a pet before?" You shake your head no, uncertain of what her angle is. "Well, I only keep good dogs. I don't have any patience for disobedience." Despite being unnerved by her constantly, you'd never been more so than this moment. You could understand what she was insinuating, but the way she smiled down at youso lovingly made your head spin. "You can be a good dog, can't you?"

"Y-Yes, ma'am." The quiver in your voice and the way you always told her what she wanted to hear thrilled her and she pushed off the desk with a peaceful smile.

"That's a relief, I was a bit worried I'd have to put you down." Her words made your blood run cold and you froze as she leaned closer to you, placing a hand on the back of your chair, caging you against it. "It'd hate to have to euthanize such a pretty bitch."

"P-Pretty...?" You repeated, her hypnotic eyes boring into you, making you forget your common sense.

"Oh, of course," She cooed, using her free hand to tilt your chin upwards. "I think you're the prettiest pup I've adopted yet." You could feel your guard lowering, intoxicated by her attention and sweet smelling perfume. "And uyou look even prettier like this, all shy and submissive. Are you gonna be my obedient girl?"

"Y-Yes, ma'am." You sighed, a lovesick grin plastered on your face.

"Never tell me no?" She asked, thumb brushing over your lips.

"Y-Yes, Miss Makia..." You echoed, muscles relaxing at her touch.

"Bark for me, pretty girl." She ordered sweetly, cupping your face with both hands, confident she didn't need to restrain you anymore. "Show me how good you can be."

Unabashedly, you gave your best attempt at a bark, something you could have never done if in the right state of mind. She seemed seemed increadibly pleased, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "Good puppy, so obedient for me..." She cooed, staring into your eyes a bit longer before giving another order.

"Cum for me, please."

"W-Wha..?" You stammered, a bit dazed. "B-But I-"

"You're only answers to me should be 'yes' or 'woof'." She reminded you, hardening a bit before asking again. "Now, will you cum for me, please?"

"Y-Yes, ma'am..." The smile returned to her face at your submission, which relieved you greatly. Slowly, gazing into her eyes began to make your stomach churn and a dull throb in your core. Chasing the feeling, your hips jerked forward a bit and she giggled, intensifying the feeling. "I-It feels... good..." You murmured, unsure why you were suddenly feeling stimulated without a single touch.

"That's perfect, puppy, just let yourself feel it." Makima cooed, staring at you more intently when your eyes began to flutter shut. "Don't look away. You peel your eyes open, meeting her gaze again and the feeling doubles, so much so that you can't keep your hips still, squirming and humming the air, eyes glazed over. "That's it, you're so close, aren't you, pretty girl?"

"Y-Yes- hahh..." You rasped, eyelid twitching with the ache to shut. "Y-Yes, Miss Makima!" Your knuckles began to turn white with your grip on the arms of the chair as the knot in your stomach tightened, finally as taut as it could get.

"Cum, now." She ordered sternly, her serene smile fading. Without hesitation, you let go, releasing the tension in your core, ignoring the discomfort your soaked panties provided. You couldn't hold back the sweet whines that poured out of your mouth, drool dripping down your chin. Finally, she smiled again, pressing a tender kiss to your spit-coted lips. "You did so well, puppy. I'm very happy with you."

"T-Thank you, Miss Makima..." You huffed, limp in your chair as she pulled away slightly, confident she'd quelled your unease about her.

"Tell me, what do you think of me?" She asked with a knowing smile, tilting your chin upwards again, thumb brushing over your lip.

"Y-You're the best, I love you so much..." You gushed, utterly lovesick. "Your so lovely and kind..."

Makima smirked, satisfied with your answer as she gave a little giggle. "Perfect."

[julieunbroken]

"It's Freaky Friday" - Kafka x Reader PT. 1

♡⌒*:ﾟContent: sub fem!reader, choking, oral, degrading/praising, teasing, oral sex (reader receiving) ♡⌒*:ﾟProofread this time, hopefully I didn't miss any grammar or spelling errors

Recently you've been recruited to be apart of the Stellaron hunters and was nervous about it, but quickly adjusted to what you had to do. You got to develop more of a relationship with the other members and liked what you were doing. However, Kafka has taken a liking towards you... a very huge liking, but wasn't too open about it. Kafka could read you like a book, and she knew you were soft and submissive but didn't want to show it. After a long stressful day, you wanted to relax and have some alone time from all your worries, so you go to sit outside but then you remember you have other work to catch up on. You think to yourself that this is going to be impossible to get done, you get up and immediately rush to continue but you bump into Kafka on the way. "Oh my god! I'm so s-sorry...." you say, stuttering on your words. "Oh? I've seen you around before." She gets up and wipes the dust off her clothes. "R-really? You have?" You look incredibly flustered and your eyes seem to draw towards her cleavage. "Oh? I know what you're staring at by the way. I know I know, I have big boobs but that's not the main focus of this conversation, is it?" "Cmon, I'll take you somewhere else so we don't get too sidetracked... you don't mind that right?" You seem a bit skeptical of her asking to go somewhere private, but end up caving in by her lust. "O-okay then..." You get interrupted by her as she grips onto your hand with no explanation, taking you somewhere that you don't know of. You start to think whether saying yes was a good idea but you'd be proven wrong. She takes you to a hidden room and locks the door without your knowledge. "Where are we?" You stand there, confused. Kafka stands behind you and starts grabbing your breasts. "I know you want me." She whispers in your ear. "W-what!?" You stand there all flustered, but you can't help to enjoy it. She grabs your throat with her thin, soft hands slightly choking you. "Be a good girl for mommy" "I know you want it." You take in the pleasure and can't help to let about a few whimpers. Because of how loud you were getting she chokes you harder to shut you up. "I said be a good girl you fucking mutt. What a whore, you can't even listen to something simple." She stops choking you and pulls down your pants licking your clitoris. "Ahh~ I can't hold in my m-moans..." you start whimpering and grab Kafka's hair while pushing her face into your clit. You continue to moan as she starts licking faster. After a while, she gets her face out of your clit and looks up at you. "I can tell you're really liking what I'm doing...." She gently caresses your thighs. "I do.... mommy" you say under your breath, nervous on what Kafka might do next. "What if I just...." she gently slides her fingers up your clit and moves her fingers and back forth so you can feel the pleasure. "Oh! I guess this is gonna work~ I already have you letting out your cute noises. You little slut." she whispers in your ear, moving her fingers faster. You begin to let out all the noises you tried to keep in but couldn't help it, continuing to take in the pleasure... NOTE: Hello guys! I've been less active sadly and I wish i had more motivation to write, but I'm trying my best :), I plan to get out pt. 2 before I start school so don't worry

[dancingbabya-notes]

Your scars are beautiful

<-•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•->

Everyone gains scars; it's a part of life, no one is immune to that. From small ones that are barely noticeable to ones that signify or are a reminder of a very strong memory. A badge of honor, a reminder of a mistake, luck that no one else was harmed, or a bad memory. (PS the only reason I wrote this is because the most recent chapters I've read are rotting my brain and I sometimes think a little too hard about my own scars)

Characters: Todoroki, Mirio, Midoriya, Amajiki, Bakugo, Kirishima, Kaminari, Shinso, Shoji

Spoiler warning: there are spoilers for the bnha/MHA manga in Shoji’s part so if you don’t want that please don’t bother reading.

Tw: trauma, mention of falling from extreme heights, mentions of child abuse, mentions of abuse, mention of self harm, 

<-•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•->

Todoroki

Sometimes you would walk into your shared room with Shoto, he looks at his face so intently in the mirror. But trying to imagine him without the burn scar on his face was difficult. That was your only image of him since school. Today he seemed to be intently picking at the skin around the old scar.

Walking up behind him you put his hands down so they sat in his lap as you hug him tightly. “Sho, Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” He states, his low voice not expressing much emotion but for some reason you just knew.

“Do you wanna touch my scar?” You ask, he blinked.

You were very protective of your own scars, it wasn’t because it was an old scar. It wasn’t because of anything sad, it was because you went too far. Like Icarus you flew too close to the sun and lost your wings. When it happened you remember him reaching for you and the pain in his eyes.

“Are you sure, my love?” He looks at you in the mirror.

“Of course, you always tell me you find comfort when I touch your scar,” you smile.

“No,” he shakes his head, his hand sitting comfortably in yours. “Just sitting with me right now is fine.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“It’s an old story.”

“That doesn’t mean it can stir new feelings,” you offer, giving him a slight squeeze.

Shoto thinks for a moment, mouth opening and closing a few times as time seemed to stretch before he found the right words. “I know now…why my mother felt the way she did. But I can’t… help but feel I had been too hasty in forgiving her. Or… that I’m wrong for not forgiving… my father.”

You try to think of a good thing to say but you weren’t sure if your words would bring him solace or pester the pain more. “I think you need to talk to them again. While it may open old bleeding wounds I feel telling them how you’re feeling might help. If you want I can sit with you when you do?”

“No, I feel it will only cause me unnecessary pain,” he sighs.

“But emotional pain can come up later,” you mumble then to realize. “Sho, are you worried that we will be bad parents to our children?”

“Yes,” he pulls on your hand a bit, stretching it a bit beyond to position that was slowly making pins and needles prick at your skin.

“No one’s perfect, but all we can do is try our best and make up for the mistakes we make. If you want when we start a family we can go to counseling,” you suggest. “That way we can get a second option, you might also get some closure with the pain you feel regarding your parents.”

Shoto pulls you around to face him, kind of sitting his lap but with his arms around you instead of you’re around him. You smile as he buries his face into your hoodie.

“You always seem to know what to say my love.”

Kirishima

“Babe?”

Flinching you quickly roll your pant leg back down. It was moments like these where you wish the mirror didn’t make you feel so small.

“There you are,” Eijiro smiles as he pulls you into a hug. “I thought you were asleep or something.”

“I was just antsy,” you mumble. “Sorry I should have said I was in here.”

He looks at you and he can tell. “Your scars are making you anxious, aren’t they?”

You nod.

He starts peppering your face in kisses. “It’s not your fault, it wasn’t something we could help. Nurse didn’t know.”

Nurse. Without her you didn’t want to know what would have happened to you. Your hero career would have ended that day. Even the short month to recuperate wasn’t enough time, you still had nightmares, waking up screaming, and the phantom pains. The reminder was the scars. Why couldn’t you move past this?

“I know.”

Eijiro picks you up and sits on the bed with you in his arms. He kissed your face, but you could tell where he was kissing. He had a purpose. Your body was littered with scars, the proof of your life and the things you’ve dealt with. The thin one just above your eye was from when your brother spent a day drawing portals through the house and you had fallen through one out into the tree. The smooth one by your ear from a surgery that had been found to be unnecessary: the hospital had mixed up your chart with another child patient, your mom was not enthused.

The one under your eye from when you accidentally cut your face, having thought you put the exact blade down, you were lucky you didn’t get your eye. He brings your hands up and he kisses your fingers, the paper thin cuts you’d gotten from learning how to cook and other craft related accidents. A small giggle escapes as he looks you in the eye for a moment.

“You don’t have to do this,” you smile.

“But I want to.”

With each kiss you were reminded of the origin of the scar. Your left hand: a wet rock from the river by the summer house. Your right wrist: the bracelet you wore during a spontaneous rescue during second year. Your shoulders: the burns from an old mission. Your stomach: an inconsolable attacker. Every memory was fine until he kissed your legs. The perfect lined scars that cut straight accords your knees.

Your breath shook a bit as the tears started. You were so scared. Plenty of other times you’d been scared but when you couldn’t feel your feet or toes, or even just the pain, were the most terrifying two minutes of your life.

His hands touched the scar and you flinched. “I know that I’m lucky. So many people pity me now.”

“Who cares what they feel about your scars,” your boyfriend pulls you back into his lap, peppering the top of your head and your forehead with kisses. “What matters is you are here, you are safe, and the pain you feel will disappear. It will fade into a bad memory.”

“I know. But what if-

“Y/n, if anything had happened we would have figured it out. Okay?”

You nod. “Thank you Eiji.”

Midoriya

When you see Midoriya’s scars, the ones on his hands, his arms, anywhere you wonder, would it have been better if you realized and accepted your second quirk sooner. You had grown used to using the regenerative ability given to you by the monster that forced your creation. Body torn to shreds over and over again, everyone always talked about how lucky you were. But were you?

You could lose a finger and if you consume enough toxins you could grow it back without worry. Your body showed no signs of scarring, well not visible at first glance. You had one scar. It was small and you just knew it was a part of you now.

“Cookie? Is there something on me? Don’t tell me there’s another water-

“No, you’re fine.” You shake your head and you smile looking at your boyfriend. “Have I ever mentioned that you’re beautiful?”

Midoriya didn’t seem to know what to say, his jaw hung open as he quickly covered his mouth and turned away. You chuckle slowly breaking into a laugh as he blushes so hard you could see it on his back from his shoulders.

“Cookie,” he whines and you slowly try to catch your breath.

Standing up you smile before taking his hand and kissing the first scar you’d ever seen on him. “It’s true. I think you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met.”

You weren’t sure what it was but he pulled you close to him before kissing the top of your left ear. Which made you embarrassed, the only imperfection you had. A slight notch in the top of your ear. Like someone had cut a slice of it out. At the time you must have been no older than three or four, the faint memory of pain and then it ending.

“I think you are far more beautiful than I am,” he smiles before you push him away.

“Put on a fucking shirt,” you scold.

Mirio

“Sunshine, are you okay you’re shaking?”

Putting the pot down you think. “I’m fine though. Huh?”

Turning your. Hands over and over you did notice a slight shake, but that was normal right? Frowning it was odd when old memories would be triggered.

“Ah, I know what’s wrong.” You chuckle nervously. “I remembered when my mom had a hard time moving the pot to the table because she didn’t want us to burn our hands on the plates.”

Mirio was a bit confused. “Why did you think about that?”

You flex your wings and shift the feathers to the side a bit to show the one spot where only short feathers grew, it didn’t impair  your flying and you were surprised you could even fly at this age. “She dropped the pot, my dad was so angry he hit her and got me in the crossfire.”

Though you had a light hearted smile on your face Mirio frowns. “I’m sorry to hear that Sunshine.”

You wave your hand dismissively. “If I hadn’t witnessed that I’m sure you and I would have never met. Don’t apologize, it made me think that I hope my mom is in a better place, and I will be very very careful who I marry if I ever do.”

Mirio had thought much about how you’d grown up, it was partially because you never talked about it. He didn’t want to pry usually but he did want to know as much as you were comfortable sharing.

“How do you feel about scars anyway?” You ask.

“They’re proof we live,” he smiles before brushing his hand against your feathers.

You shriek, pulling away quickly and stumbling forward. Groaning you clutch your side, having effectively slammed your entire weight into the corner of the counter.

“A warning,” you gasp. “Please, my feathers are sensitive.”

“R-right.”

Shaking your head you start laughing only to be paused from the pain shooting up your body.

Amajiki

Your partner watches intently as you work. He always did this, because he said it made him feel better. Watching you work when he had nothing to do. Somewhere along the way of learning you had been given the task to create new things for uniform fabrics. He remembered how when you both met and you made him something only for him to learn how your quirk actually worked.

Your blood infused with fabrics could change them drastically. A fabric that couldn’t be cut with most known blades unless you bled on it. A super stretchy fabric that didn’t wear easily if at all, water resistant fabric, changing a fabric to be flame retardant. Your quirk was virtually limitless if you had drawn enough blood.

“Tamaki? You’re staring pretty hard right now, did I mess up the pattern somewhere?” You pause a bit confused as you look over the piece.

Chuckling a big he shakes his head. “I just thought you looked beautiful.”

Okay now you messed up, quickly switching off the machine you felt yourself gradually melt to the floor. “What did I do to deserve someone as kind as you?”

“N-no I’m the lucky one,” he argues.

“I’m not beautiful and you know that, all these scars from trying to figure out how to use my quirk.” You laugh jokingly.

But Tamaki grabs your hands tightly. “You are beautiful, scars and all.”

You couldn’t help but smile, it was a stupid smile that one only makes when they’re drunk on love. “You’re beautiful too Tamaki. As beautiful as the moon.”

His face quickly reddens, but he did have enough sense to pick you up off the floor. Your work space was a workplace hazard in more ways than one.

“Don’t ever say your scars aren’t beautiful, without your abilities some many more people would be in danger,” he huffs, his ears burning from his embarrassment from your earlier comment.

“Mm, I’ll try.”

Bakugo

Katsuki hardly cared about his scars. He took care of his body and as long as he could do his job as a hero who cared what he looked like. But usually he’d skim over his scars when getting changed and a recent exchange made him angry seeing his scars.

You were working like usual, heroes were still plentiful but the job was safe. Your hero costume featured a mask to shield your face from others. Only he and a few trusted people ever saw your face without the mask. So during the recent publicity event when someone chastised and scolded you for your scar Katsuki had to be held back.

“It’s fine, I’m used to it,” you had said, but you still cried yourself to sleep in his arms.

It was a scar that left you permanently inhibited, taking one eye with it. After all the healing you’d gone through and everything one person’s comment could still bring you down.

“Tsuki? Are you okay?” You ask, crossing your arms.

He scoffs. “I’m fine.”

“Tomorrow is the gala right?”

“Mm.”

“Would you be mad if I said I’d rather stay home?”

Why? He didn’t want to go, you didn’t, might as well.

“Then we don’t have to go.” He shakes the wrinkles out of his shirt before folding it.

You pause. “What?”

“I didn’t stutter.”

“I never said you did, are you sure we can just-

Katsuki stops folding the clothes and faces you. “I’m tired, so are you. Plus, you need a break from your mask. Whose fucking idea was it for it to be so tight to your face? Can’t even fucking breathe properly in that damn thing.”

You blink. “Wait, do you think I’m upset about what that person said?”

He narrows his eyes.

“Katsuki, seriously? I’ve had this scar since I was like five. Sure as shit ain’t pretty, but someone who doesn’t matter to me isn’t gonna make me upset.” You laugh. “If this hadn’t happened to me I would have never learned how to feel around for water and sense things with it.”

He smirks, pulling you into a hug. “Damn right. But we’re still not going to the gala.”

“Don’t wanna wear a tie?”

He didn’t answer you.

Kaminari

When you got married to Denki the first thing he did was make you cry. Because for some reason that was shut what he did. At your wedding in front of all your friends. Were you drunk? No. Had it been a long day? Yes. But somehow it was even more memorable.

Instead of a traditional or western “wedding” you both decided a small get together for family and friends would be so much better, on the condition your parents even showed up. As you looked at the scar that you both shared across your arms you couldn’t help but giggle.

“What are you looking at bumblebee?” He asked and his voice seemed to fall. “Oh.”

For Kaminari it held a different meaning. You were always so careful, it came with the territory of being a support item creator especially with a quirk like yours. Telekinesis could be powerful and used in many different ways but you used it both as a crutch and a tool to protect yourself. So when he saw that his mistake blemished your skin he thought “I just vowed to protect her and got her hurt.”

“I feel like it’s beautiful. Luckily Yoko could heal it up,” you smile brushing your fingers on your own scar.

“I’m sorry.”

You frown. “I like this scar. It’s not the first one I’ve ever gotten but it’s ours.”

“I didn’t know that knives could split like that if the wrong pressure is placed on it.”  He mumbles.

“It’ll be a good teaching moment for when this one gets older.” You coo brushing the hair from the child’s eye. “I’m sure Teru will think it’s funny how his parents share a scar. Though I think the story of how we met  will top that.”

“I guess you’re right. But I’m still sorry,” Kaminari pouts.

“You have more than made up for it, my overpowered pikachu.” You grab him by the face and squeeze it a bit before kissing him.

“Do you think Teru will get scars?”

“As he gets older yeah,” you nod, looking at the baby again.

“You’re happy with me right y/n?” Denki squeezes your scarred hand with his own.

“Of course I am. Accidental exploding knife and all. I think that made our wedding more memorable for me,” you chuckle. “I feel like it was my fault.”

“No, you can’t do anything wrong.”

Shinso

You smile as you finish giving the kitten a bath. Fostering the stray cats so they could be taken care of or at least fixed was probably one of the few things you were glad your house could accommodate. Which made you think about the first time things like this happened. Trying to help a stray dog which resulted in a nasty bite as a child. But regardless you got the dog to safety. Your mom wasn’t all that happy about the bite.

“Hey puddin,” you smile as the older cat rubs against your face. “You know where to leave your gifts. Hitoshi will be coming over tonight.”

You giggle thinking about the first time you met him. Helping out at your parents' rescue center Shinso Hitoshi came in with his arms and face bleeding as the cat tried to free itself of his hold. You damn near panicked because of it. Even laughing with him as you patched him up.

“Look we match.” He joked showing his own bite mark wound.

As he walked in you held the now dry kitten, purring snatched the kitten from you and started taking care of it herself.

“Okay mama, looks like my job is done.” You roll your eyes about to wash your hands.

“Was there any trouble?” Hitoshi asks puttting the groceries down.

“No, I just thought about how I met you.” You hum.

Hitoshi thinks for a moment and nods. “Oh, well I’m glad we match. Doing stuff like this would be hard otherwise.”

You look at the scars you both bear, if not for these you might never have met your best friend.

Shoji

When you met Shoji you had never expected it to be through your quirk. The ability to walk through people’s dreams and exist in that separate space. He’s much taller than you so even if your eyes weren’t glued to the floor you wouldn’t have usually made eye contact with him. Once you spent more time with him you had wondered about the mask why he wore it, but in fear of prying you kept your questions to yourself.

You’d always lived in the city you read about the way heteromorphs were treated in rural areas so seeing it first hand through a nightmare of his. Made you hurt. People who thought they were better than others hurt innocent people, it made you angry. But as he lays in your lap sleeping after a long day of hero work you keep your tears at bay.

“Why is this coming to mind now?” You mumble.

Shoji stirs in his sleep, and you bring your hand to his hair, rubbing his head much like how he did for you when you apologized for your inability to control your own quirk. His scars weren’t what made him, and you were glad at least he could come to terms with it. But the people who cared for him— like you. Will probably always feel pain. Leaning down, you kiss him and he chuckles.

“Are you crying again?”

You sniffle trying to make your voice normal. “No.”

“It’s in the past, things are slow to go but there’s been change since we were in school.” Shoji yawns a bit before sitting up. “Aside from thinking about the past, what are you thinking?”

“How beautiful you are,” you hum, stretching up a bit you cradle his face in your free hand. “Because it takes a lot to be this beautiful.”

He kisses the inside of your hand. “Only you say things like this.”

“And you know that I mean them. Just hold me back after counting to three if anyone dares say anything.” You clock your tongue.

“Hmm, I’ll give you five seconds.”

“Truly kind indeed to couple with your beauty,” you giggle, bowing your head a bit. “I am not worthy.”

But he didn’t laugh this time, instead he pulled you into his lap and just held you there. He does take your cup away from you.

“I thought you weren’t supposed to be drinking coffee after five, stardust?” He frowns at the liquid and you avert your gaze.

“It’s decaf.” You lie.

He smells the cup and puts it on the coffee table before locking you in his hold. “I believe that’s enough ‘not coffee’ for one evening.”

Leaning back on his chest and looking up at him you still smile. “While your scars come from a bad memory I hope since they’ve healed you have a million more to make the bad seem insignificant. Plus I meant it when I said you’re beautiful.”

It was his turn to hold your face in one of his hands. “I know stardust. I know.”

[wolvesofinnistrad]

Read on Ao3 Here.

Its been about 6 months. 

6 of the best months of a relationship Buck has ever had. And its not even about it being a guy, discovering his bisexuality. Its just... Tommy.

Hes great in so many ways, and the dynamic is so different that for the first time Buck has been able to relax, not always feel like hes chasing after someone. Actually, hes found out he quite likes being the one that gets chased, romanced, flirted with.

Everything is going great and hes even, in the back of his mind, been starting to think this might be it, this might be a long term thing after all which he'd have never expected. And then Eddie fucks it all up by telling him his most recent girlfriend, Beatrice or something Buck honestly hasn't kept track lately, broke up with him because quote "i can never have a place in your life when you've got Buck so entrenched in it."

Hes never had anyone imply that his and Eddies friendship, the little family hes made with Eddie and Chris, is somehow wrong or off-putting. Eddie was more annoyed than anything and didn't seem to care. But Buck... Buck got worried. Not because he cared about what Betty or whatever thought, but because he wondered if it wasn't true. If maybe their dynamic would scare people off eventually, and did that mean it would scare Tommy off as well?

So that's how hes sitting here, curled under a blanket on the couch, a new sectional he bought because Tommy's back didn't get enough support in the last one, spilling his guts to his boyfriend. When hes done he looks up at Tommy, expecting, well, something. Anger, confusion, heartbreak, but... Its not there. Tommy smiles at him, placing a hand on his leg over the blanket. "Evan... i understand how important Eddie and Chris are to you. I would never make you choose. I would never try to cut them out or deny you that."

Buck takes that in sits with it for a moment but finds it doesn't fully alleviate his concerns.

"But what if... i mean, if were together, you know, for the long haul. It wont affect you? What i have with them?"

Tommy smiles, he looks away for a minute and laughs.

"Can i be really honest with you Evan?" He says, meeting his eyes now. 

Buck nods.

Tommy inches closer, drawing up one of his legs beneath him. "When we first started dating i knew you all were close, but i didn't really understand until later that you were a 'family.'" He pauses, thinks. "But when i did, yeah, there was a moment i was a little worried where i fit in. Where there was space for me in your life. And then i had an idea, and once i wrapped my head around it that way, re-conceptualized how i looked at things, it didn't scare me anymore."

Now that's surprising to hear, Buck wants to know what could have so easily changed his mind. "And what was it that made you not worry then?"

Again Tommy laughs. "I started thinking of Eddie like he was your ex husband."

Bucks eyes bug out a bit. "My what?!"

Tommy shrugs. "It was easier in my head than just saying your best friend who you're co-parenting with. I've dated guys with kids, with exes before. It wasn't a stretch to think of it like Eddie was your ex and Chris was your kid from another relationship. Once i put it in my head like that, i didn't worry about whether we could have a life together. You'll always be tied to them, but it didn't mean you couldn't have a life with me to." He reached over and took Bucks hand, squeezed it tight. "And honestly Evan? I'm starting to think I'd like that. A life with you."

Despite how weird it is to think of his little family with Eddie and Chris that way, how Tommy sees it, there's something relief and happiness coursing through him. Knowing that Tommy's already figured out how he can keep some of the most important people in his life and incorporate them into a new life hes building for himself. For him and Tommy. 

"Evan?" Tommy asks, scootching closer on the couch, their knees knocking together.

Buck realizes its been too long since he's said anything, but when he speaks he simply says "move in with me."

For all of a second Tommy looks shocked, then elated, then seemingly guarded. "Evan... You don't have to lock me down or something i just exp-"

Buck cuts him off, "its not that. Trust me, I've done that before. Held on so tight, clung because i was scared of being left behind. This isn't that. This is..." he stops, lets his mind and body calm enough to get this right. "This is me holding on because I don't want to let go. Because i want to stay, right here, with you. I'm not scared of being left anymore, I'm scared of not putting down roots. Of not letting the best boyfriend I've ever had,"

"Only," Tommy interjects.

"Best," Buck reiterates, gripping his hand tighter, boyfriend I've ever had know that i want this. I want him. I want a life with you too. And hearing that i think, it was just the final thing falling into place, the last weight weighing on me. I... I've been thinking of asking you for a while, but i wanted so bad to get it right this time. And i think i am, but Tommy." He looks into his eyes. "Tommy you're the first time I've felt like if i got it wrong it would still be okay, we could make it work anyway. So move in with me. Please. Or.. heck, we could get a place of our own if you like?"

Tommy kisses him then. Its slow and passionate but all consuming. Its like nothing hes ever had before. And it feels so right. For once it feels Right.

A week later Tommy sends him a photo of a house for rent. Rent to own actually.

"Wheres that at?" He asks, because its a nice place, he can see the potential.

"Its literally a block away from Eddie's house, I saw it as I was driving away." He says, and Buck can almost hear the laugh and smug smile miles away.

"Its perfect." He writes back. But what he means is, 'you're perfect.'

[pokemonshelterstories]

Is it okay to allow Honedge to assist me in chopping food?

So I take care of a Honedge and recently it's become interested in how I use my knives to prepare food for us (I am not feeding it table food, only normal ghost supplementals, I just prepare them in the kitchen). I usually let it help me with cutting firewood as a bit of enrichment, and work with it regularly to maintain it's understanding of what is and isn't fine to cut and when. I think it might want to help me chop food during prep, but I'm worried it might start trying to chop more things that aren't firewood or specific foods.

So I decided to ask you since you seem to have a good understanding of Pokemon behaviors. Would it be safe to let them help me with making food?

as long as you've gone through the training to make sure it knows the difference between an ok target and something that isn't supposed to be cut, there's nothing wrong with allowing the firewood! my main concern with the food would be how sanitary that is. given that honedge use their blade in battle, it can be hard to keep it clean enough that this wouldn't potentially make you sick.

what you can do is set aside a little bit of whatever you're chopping up for your honedge to cut up, then toss it afterwards. it's more the act of cutting alongside you that it's looking for rather than you actually using the food. if you're worried about blurring the distinction between ok and not ok to cut, make sure that you're using a "this is cuttable" cue before giving it anything to chop up! that way it knows not to touch anything that hasn't been explicitly approved. i've trained a lot of pokemon not to eat things before being given a cue, and it's the same general principle.