#I've actually never checked the room needed for that dialogue

[buttercupshands]

(Forgot to post again)

A birthday present for a friend :)

[goldenshrikecomic]

do you got any tips to start comic pages? Or any tutorial you would recommend in mind

Look I know how to use a read more tag now

I've no tutorials in mind really. I did look through plenty of them way in the beginning, but later found what worked for me the most! And it's just having your script and deciding how much of it you want to jam in that one page, and most importantly, what panel you want the page to end with so the cut-off doesn't feel clunky. Check how much space your dialogue takes before sketching, make sure it has room to breathe.

I like it when there's at least one establishing shot in the page that shows the characters in relation to each other and the environment. Sometimes you can get away with not including it but a pageful of headshots gets boring easily.

Some people just sketch freely and add build the panels after that, it's pretty good for more action-packed scenes since not being bound by an existing layout tends to make things livelier. I sometimes use this for silent pages, since they're the ones that give me the most grief to plan.

If you're on the boat of being afraid to actually START making a comic, there's plenty of you! It's self-preservation talking, and it's so super normal, especially if you've never made a comic before. Comicing is hard work and offers a tons of things to keep track on. In the very start your story's spine is so flexible it's hard to see how you can make it hold weight, but with every page you'll be cementing it. Half of my comic feels wobbly right now because I'm not there yet, but 200+ finished pages have told me it'll be okay. It'll hold weight when we get there, because all that work we've done till then is now foundation.

I won't lie, sometimes paging is pain in the ass. Sometimes it's so hard to figure out what kind of shot to use, how to avoid repetition in conversations, deciding on panel size, how to fit all in, where to cut the page. Sometimes I've feared that this is where it ends, I can't figure this out, but then I remember I have so much done already, and I've met these troubles before. It doesn't need to be perfect, just get it over with! The next page will be better.

With these in mind, it'll get so much easier after you've started. White canvas is scary, were it a new page or a whole new comic.

[revalition]

OCTOBER 17 - PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT Flex powerful muscles. Enjoy healthy organs.

Coach Physical Instrument!! This guy has lots of great dialogue... but his design isn't that interesting to me. and I struggle with buff people haha. look at his weird... trapezoid head. I wanted to incorporate a way for him to emote a bit better but that will have to be a project for later. I love him very much anyway though

(also it is just barely past midnight, it definitely still counts as october 17 shhh)

as usual lots of quotes under the cut!

coach quotes:

this is a godly check lol. thanks for the commentary coach...

poor coach

this one is so funny

harry talking back to coach is always funny

this one is my favourite.

coach noooo. had to include the awful dialogue option he opens up too haha

he loves his prybar <3

coach knows... this is when interviewing klaasje, so decently early on

mmm... discus

coach's comment isn't even dependent on failing the ency check, he'll say it regardless. though you can only ask lena if you look like a dweeb if the ency check fails haha. sorry man, harry is absolutely a dweeb...

I mean, I think encyclo does...

phys int taking any opportunity to dig at kim's bad eyesight is ridiculous. there's several but I can only have so many screenshots...

his worst nightmare 😔

he's so stupid (this heals morale)

good to know coach has his priorities sorted out. you heard him -- it's intellectually stimulating to talk to buff men

fist bump!!

he's so, so disappointed if you leave titus hanging. (I am too)

I find it a bit funny that this doesn't do any morale damage. Harry loses morale over far less... maybe he just doesn't care if coach calls him lazy and bad.

this guy *cannot* sit still. stop it coach, harry needs this bath

he's so stupid

holds the idiots in my hands so gently... theyre all so stupid...

thank you physical instrument. this is also the only time he says your name - super important

he knows :(

much much love for the three skills who will store the blue spirits as a sellable item for you. (if coach doesn't fire, logic will store it, and if logic fails too then volition does it)

he gets *so* excited. I love it

him calling it 'The Wonder' noooo

coach is so funny. i love when harry's choices are so biased haha

why is he so stupid?

this one always kills me. there is *so little* insight into what these guys are doing in there! but savvy is pushing other skills outta the way for this <333 he's brave to push past coach haha. what's he at the front of? is savvy actually small or just in comparison to coach...? hehe

we're out of screenshot room but can't forget this classic:

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - Yes, this man is definitely one of the homos, I've seen them homos with my own eyes.

other fun facts! there are too many good coach quotes :(((

- he's the only one to call Inland Empire dreamer! - electrochemistry calls coach a sinewy idiot! - calls you Harry just once, but son 26 times, boy 3 times, champ 3 times, officer once... - physical instrument is confirmed compromised... - he never says 'Kim', only lieutenant - my spreadsheet has him at a moderate swear score of 6/10 because I didn't factor in how many time he says goddamn... oops

ok that's it for physical instrument!! tomorrow... it will be extremely hard to pick only 30 quotes :(((

[mychlapci]

requests? I've had vampire Springer x First Aid on the brain all day... (but only if you're up to it!)

for some ungodly reason i decided to put a bunch of dialogue into this one. and dialogue is the bane of my existence.

Springer’s frame was odd, to say the least. First Aid was utterly fascinated by what little specs he possessed of Springer’s internal systems. Apparently, he was very adamant about never taking his check-ups, which the wreckers tolerated if not outwardly ignored completely, but First Aid was not having that. He wanted to see more. Something could be seriously wrong!

Getting Springer into the med-bay was the hard part. Scanning him was just as hard, if not harder.

„You could’ve gotten seriously damaged out there, if I could just check you over”–

„It’s fine,” Springer mumbled. He looked fine, but he shouldn’t, not with how hard he’s gotten banged up on the battlefield just mere cycles ago „I’ve had worse,”

„You don’t know if you have internal damage,”

„I don't,” Springer was clearly getting irritated, when his facial plate suddenly softened and he shrugged „Take your readings, or something, you’ll see I’m not bleeding,”

First Aid huffed. Wreckers and their pride. Fine. He plugged a quick medical interface cable into Springer’s arm and checked over his energon readings. How odd. He wasn’t losing energon, but it burned at an odd rate, and was currently pretty low „No bleeding,” First Aid begrudgingly admitted „Fine, but you should drink some energon. You’re low,”

That made Springer’s EM field ripple, but he quickly hid it underneath another aloof shrug, pedes twisting as he gets ready to leave „Sure, I got some in my room,”

Oh, First Aid was onto something „No, you’re going to drink energon here, so I’m sure you’re actually fueling,”

He throws a look into the corner, where some stray cubes of med-grade and standard energon were waiting for consumption.

Springer snorte „You're gonna make me drink in front of you, like a sparkling?”

„Yeah,”

„That’s stupid, I’m leaving,”

First Aid blinks „What? Hey! Your systems are, as per medical terms, all out of whack, you need energon,”

„Not your kind of energon,” Springer said as he exited the room, briefly looking back with an expression of regret on his face, as if he didn’t mean to say that.

First Aid spends the rest of the day and also maybe the rest of the week thinking about it. Something is up with Springer, and he’s not telling him what. That’s okay. First Aid can’t let that get to him, they’re not all that close, Springer doesn’t have to tell him anything. A dietary restriction, though, that's something you let your doctor know about.

So, fed up with Springer’s lack of professionalism, First Aid raids his room one day. While Springer is in it, of course. He’s not a creep or anything like that. Just a bit pushy.

„Hey, I have energon,”

Springer sighs where he was caught idly standing by a closet „Again with that? I said I’m not bleeding,”

„Yes, but you’re not fueling,” First Aid raises his voice „I saw it, you never go out for morning energon, I don’t know what’s going on, but”–

He could say he cares about Springer, but he fears that might lay it on too thick. Besides, curiosity is First Aid’s drive right now.

„It’s weird. And I want to know what it is,”

Springer scoffed.

„Close the door,”

First Aid’s spark almost jumped out of his chassis. He’ll be in a closed room with Springer! In his bedroom! Now, only if he knew why the bot’s gaze made him feel oddly uneasy. But it’s too late to back out, the doors already slid closed with a pressurized hiss, and Springer was on top of him in an instant. The cube of fresh energon shattered on the floor.

„Woah woah woah, I’m sorry, I didn’t see anything, I'm not telling anyone”–

„I’m not trying to hurt you, I’m trying to show you,” Springer said when First Aid wouldn’t stop squirming.

„What?” First Aid’s visor blinks, and he stills under Springer as the bot slowly leans forwards and… presses his lips against his neck tubing. Now, First Aid could be a romantic and just assume Springer was so in love he couldn’t fuel, but that was wishful thinking that has no place in this war, and easily discarded when Springer’s dentae suddenly perforated a non-major line in his energon cabling.

First Aid shuddered at the sound of Springer’s wet lips sliding over the dribbling indent.

„I’ve been like this since my creation,”

„Like what?” First Aid cringed at how quiet he sounded.

„Hungry,” Springer answers, and then wraps his mouth around First Aid’s neck again, sucking on his warm energon with audible gulps. First Aid doesn’t think to move, doesn’t think to squirm, he just lies there and stares over Springer’s shoulder with awe in his optics, vents growing more and more laboured as Springer’s heavier, bulkier body presses down on him.

Woah! First Aid wakes up in his bed, panels painfully hot. Primus, that was a weird dream, he thinks as he brushes a hand over his neck. It felt so real, he can still feel that ache in his tubing. Odd.

[the-eldritch-it-gay]

Majexatli as a Companion

[Part 1/?]

[Questions from here]

Where can your Tav be recruited?

Majexatli can be recruited in Act 1. They are found on the Risen Road, by the hyenas. When approaching for the first time, a cutscene will play, in which the player sees a dire coyote eating one of the hyenas and being attacked by gnolls. The dire coyote races after the gnolls beyond the trees and out of sight, allowing the player to investigate the dead and dying hyenas on the road. 

After the player begins combat with the hyenas, Majexatli will join initiative, rushing into combat to assist the players from where the dire coyote has disappeared. Once combat ends, Majexatli will introduce themselves and their tadpole will connect with the players, indicating that they too were on the Nautiloid.

Your tadpole squirms in recognition, their fragmented memories becoming your own. Flashes of verdant forests, vast grasslands, kneeling before a gathering of druidic elders, wandering overgrown paths, the title of Faithwarden. With each flash, however, an undercurrent of hunger, growing in intensity with each passing memory until it erupts into something blood-red and razor-sharp.

The Dark Urge will get a unique dialogue option here, relating to the bloodlust in Majexatli’s memories. Druids will also get a unique dialogue with an insight check where they can mentally speculate on Majexatli’s druidic background and note that Majexatli’s druidic armor is very different from most druids. Druid players will also recognize the title of Faithwarden and note the high honor of the title. Rangers can notice that their armor and clothing seem more reminiscent of a ranger than a druid. Clerics can notice their lack of a holy or druidic symbol.

Majexatli will offer their assistance to the player, saying that they are an accomplished druid and alchemist and that they can help navigate the area.

If allowed, Majexatli will either join the player's active party if there’s room, or be told to head to the player’s camp.

Does your Tav have any comments or advice when you recruit other companions?

I can't imagine Majexatli being recruited before some of the origin companions, but I've included everyone anyways for the fun of it.

About Wyll: The Blade of Frontiers... I haven't actually heard of him, I'm afraid. He seems a good man, though, and rather charming...

About Karlach: It's nice to have another tiefling in camp. I imagine she's one hell of a fighter, too, anyone who's lived in the hells has to be.

About Astarion: Hm. I'd keep an eye on the pale one.

About Shadowheart: If I've learned anything during my years, it's that you should always have a healer with you, regardless of whatever they have going on. Shadowheart will be important if we want to stay alive.

About Lae'zel: Lae'zel is quite the warrior, it's wise to have her around. I don't know much about her people, but if she says she knows the cure for our parasites, I'm willing to follow her lead.

About Gale: Stranger as it is, I've never met a wizard. Gale seems quite knowledgeable. He's kind of everything I imagined a wizard would be like, if I'm honest. Very... wizardly.

About Halsin: (sighs) I suppose it's good for Halsin to finally join us, given how long he's been in our camp.

About Minthara: I think it's good to have Minthara with us, as long as she stays on our side that is. I might not agree with everything she says, but she's quite impressive in battle.

About Jaheira: Hm. Another druid.

What sort of general actions raise or lower their approval?

Raise approval: helping people in need, killing people who are abusing power/authority, respecting nature, some violence, survival skills (foraging, gathering plants, gathering loot from killed beasts) being kind to children

Lower approval: senseless cruelty, delighting in the suffering of others, expressing disgust for monsters, abusing authority/power, taking advantage of innocent people, neutrality, maintaining balance or status quo

[thevulturesquadron]

Hey remember that post you made a time ago about E9?

I agree with it all, but I wanted to talk especially about the rushed part, i.e Roberto and Rogue immediately going into the "villain guards" roles. It is missing a moment between them joining Magneto and the following fight against X-Men

What would you put as this moment? A dialogue? I've been thinking about this and I even want to write a fic, but my brain can't chose. (I've been leaning on Rogue reassuring Roberto somehow) So?

Many thanks! I love your blog bestie <33

– @unfortunately-obsessed

Hey sweet thing! 🌺 (your tumblr posts always put a smile on my face) Oh! I love this! If you write something I would kill to read it! For E9 I would have loved to see a moment on Asteroid M between the two, either when they set foot inside for the first time or before preparing for the ‘meet and greet’ with the X-Men. I feel like once in space, after the adrenaline wears off Roberto would worry about the choice he made. I like to think Rogue would sense it and maybe look for him. What if she finds him in front of one of the wide panels looking down towards Earth? She would probably start the conversation by saying something like ‘quite a sight from up here, ain’t it sugah?’ Having a moment between the two with a look over the ‘dying’ earth would put things into a certain perspective. I imagine Rogue being reassuring, as much as she could, but there is a fire under her skin as well that she needs to tame - when he shows doubt she’d tell him she’s been following Xavier’s ways for years and that his heart may be in the right place but he’s living in a past version of the fight. Things have changed in his absence and she’s done with putting the idea of peace ahead of mutant lives. She’d tell him that there is no right or wrong way of doing this, that if there’s one thing he can count on is that he’s never going to have to face anything alone. I like to think she’d ask him if he’s scared and when he’d ask her back she would answer honestly - ‘ yes’. She’d admit that after Remy died she was so lost in her anger, thinking she had nothing left to lose, but has since realized that that was not true. She’d look down the hall that leads to Magneto’s ‘throne room’ and she’d tell Roberto that being a mutant is not just about his powers, it’s about something more. And any mutants that are still out there are worth fighting for. Maybe Roberto would confess that the look in Magneto’s eyes scares him even if he stands by his choice. And her face would darken in worry. ‘That’s the other reason why I chose to be here. Erik’s a good man, sugah. But he’s been through a lot. And I refuse to lose him too - not to his pain, not to his anger.’ In Genosha he asked her for help, to be the balancing force that would keep him in check. She was angry with him back then, but seeing him now, seeing how the world treated all of them, she understood how vulnerable he actually allowed himself to be. If she was ready to be by his side at his best - she wasn’t going to abandoned him at his worst. And I would have liked to see one last exchange between them as they are making their way towards the Blackbirld. Maybe Rogue would sense Roberto’s internal conflict and that would strengthen her conviction. ‘They need us. The X-men, Magneto. Things will get nasty, so we need to be strong. Sometimes you gotta punch a fella you love to get them to sit down and listen. A blackened eye heals faster than a broken arm.’ She’d wink and punch in the door key to the hangar. Or something like that! I am terrible with dialogue but I would have loved a tiny moment that shows both the internal conflict they were going through and what stood behind their choices. Even a short reassuring hand on his shoulder and a voiceless exchange before stepping in would have been enough. Taking the mantle of the ‘bad guy’ so that others can fight their good fight with lessened consequences is often times an unsung tale.

[mzannthropy]

Favorite and least favorite. DJATS scenes? My least favorite is the overdose scene in ep 8. Like,wydm Billy called Daisy "baby?" I doubt that. My favorite is either Billy saying good morning to Camila and Julia in ep 5,Daisy kicking Nicky out,or the Camilabilly s*x scene at the end of episode 5. (and he wasn't thinking about Daisy,idk what Daisybilly shippers say. He loves his wife, aurora is about her, nothing can change that.)

I can't shut up about the Pick Up Your Kid scene from Episode 3. Bc I know how much Sam loves his kids and being a dad, I knew how difficult it would be for him to film it. The tears were unscripted, that's just Sam crying for real. I've not really thought about favourite scenes. Camila and Billy on the balcony in the finale, but that's only bc of their acting. Aside from the fact that the dialogue was ridiculous, it shouldn't exist, bc there's nothing like that in the book. Erasing the Daisy and Camila hotel room scene was a huge disservice to the characters, to the fans, to TJR. Just thank the gods that Sam and Camila are such good actors. I liked all Billy's scene with Camila and Julia. As for other characters, I liked Teddy being a father figure to Billy, the final scene with Karen and Graham. I know the poor guy was devastated, but Karen made her choice.

Least favourite, where do I start. I agree on the ending of Ep 8. (It was in fact what set of me off on a mini villain arc that lasted all through till the end of June, when I accepted that Sam was not going get an Emmy nomination, which is why I wasn't even upset that he was snubbed, bc I had already grieved it, but it was a painful process.) It should have been Simone that found her. Once again, a female character robbed of a scene. Not to mention that a man cradling a woman in his arms (while she might or might not be dying) is the most overdone scene in all of TV/film history. Start noticing it and you'll never be able to un-notice. Also, same episode, when after the press conference they walk in that corridor and Billy tries to kiss her. The whole argument, even. Cheap drama for the sake of it--nobody argues with faces that close together. It gives me so much second hand embarrassment that I literally recoil any time I think of it. I don't get triggered by horrible scenes that usually carry trigger warnings, but I do get triggered by stuff like this. Bc it's stupid.

Sam has a film, The Nightingale (dir Jennifer Kent), in which he plays the most horrible character of his career. It's a brilliant film and I recommend it, just heed the warnings bc it gets really violent. Yet it's easier for me to watch than a lot of DJATS. Bc I understand his part in the story, bc he is supposed to be like that.

ETA: Bc I misremembered, I thought Simone found Daisy in the book, (I can't check the book bc I listened to it on audio.) so I thought they should have kept it like that, but she actually just woke up herself, broke up with Nicky and then called Simone. I knew Simone figured somewhere, at least. Doesn't change my point, though, bc it still takes away from a female character. It's even worse bc it means that in the show, Daisy needed a man to 'save her'.

Yeah, if anyone had to find her in the shower, Rod would have been the better option; he's the manager after all, and if Daisy saw in his face that he was really worried about her, not just bc she was the lead singer and he'd lose money or whatever if something happened to her, but out of genuine care, she'd realise she was worthy. But nooo, they had to go for the most male writing stereotypical scene instead.

[yuri-is-online]

Just finished Sinostra's chapter myself.... I gotta say though, was a little underwhelming compared to other chapters.... Honestly the entire thing felt like a one-man show by Ritsu + some sexual tension between Taiga and Romeo whenever they interact lol. MC has never felt more like a spectator than she did in this chapter, I was waiting for her to do absolutely *anything* but she really was just... there lmao. Not even hand-holding this time!

Even the Like Dove showed up AFTER mc left, when it was just Taiga and Romeo in the room, and then later again when Romeo barges into Taiga's room - this time mc was there but, just barely lol, the whole focus was on Taiga and Romeo's almost shoot-off, and Taiga's line saying "You really could shoot through my heart"?? And the fact that he sensed Romeo approaching before he even saw him, and so far is the only person who he clearly remembers and freely gives compliments to lol, Lulu is a cute nickname tho.

Regardless, Taiga's strange response to the Like Dove could possibly mean Kaito's explanation about it might not be true after all, since anomalies are still a mystery, wouldn't be strange for false rumors to make the rounds.

And I while I don't hate Ritsu - I appreciate he's a hard worker and tries to make the best of any situation he's put in - I dislike how he really just one-sidedly handled everything in this chapter and only ever explains after they're done lol. The case didn't feel like an investigation at all, Ritsu just pulls some numbers out of the air and acts on them (where is he getting all that data??) and in the end they won against it because it had to prevent a paradox from happening...? lmao idk overall just felt so underwhelming.

Also we never find out what the deal was about the girl in the tower?? Why even mention that detail if they're not gonna do anything with it... An anomaly that was born from the negative emotions gathering in a casino replaces people's memories with a girl in a tower.... My guess is it wanted enough people to "remember" her so she could come into existence? Like Takeru's ghost. I wonder what for though... Will they revisit this or not.....

You could pluck out MC from this chapter and absolutely nothing would change imo because Ritsu was doing everything anyways, only name-dropped mc when mentioning it was an investigation, that's it. While I don't necessarily need her to be the star or a hero, having 0 influence on the chapter is not great writing imo.

Kaito and his silly antics were the highlight for me. And I found it hilarious how him being stripped down and locked up in Romeo's "private office" feels like the setting of any self-indulgent "dark romance" fiction between a rich CEO and helpless debtor who has to cater to the captor's whims lol.

Finally Hotarubi is next, I've been curious about it since I got sorted into it, and want to see more of Haku. I agree he's sus, his dialogue in the prologue if you choose him only highlights the fact. But something about him really compels me

Sorry for the long ask, I have a thousand thoughts twirling around in my mind about TD, it should probably cool down between the entire month that's left before next story update.... but also there's new games coming out next month so hopefully I don't forget about TD completely either lol....

There is no shame in long asks. I'm always impressed at the amount of thoughts my dear anons manage to fit inside the ask box ♡

I also felt like the content was a bit lacking to the point I went and checked Jabberwock's chapter count and was surprised to find it's actually a tad shorter than Sinostra's. I think the main reason it felt so short to me was because I wasn't locked out of progressing this time around, but the case progression also felt much much quicker. If I'm sitting back and evaluating it as a writer, I think that's probably because of the setting being confined to the school and dorm. Sure, a lot happens, but you don't actually go anywhere, unlike in the previous three books.

Our MC has a very laid-back personality, which I don't mind. BUT the game really should allow for the chance for her to work things out on her own, even if she's too afraid of the other characters to verbalize it and keeps them to herself. There are several times in the book when she tries to point out inconsistencies in Ritsu's logic or other evidence she notices, but she's talked over pretty much every single time. It's what made me really hate Ritsu since you did not see that with Ren, Haru, or Towa, but i get that it's sort of tricky when writing more domineering characters to balance not making them overshadow the more laid back ones but still keeping them true to their personalities. I don't think Ritsu would have paid attention to Kaito if MC wasn't there, nor do I think Taiga would have paid attention to Ritsu, but that's just me speculating because the story doesn't clearly communicate it. This book was poorly written, a lot of the problems people have with MC could be fixed with a few additional lines where she's shown wanting to do something but reminding herself she has to play nice with the ghouls otherwise they won't break her curse. Her personality makes sense to me, but her writing does not.

Now. I disagree about the no real moments this chapter but ah. Well. You see. There is something deeply wrong with me so I completely get if this did nothing but disturb you but when Taiga has MC strapped to the torture chair 👉👈

Look I know potentially getting a hicky from a guy that strapped you to a torture chair and just shot you (for the second time) isn't everyone's thing but it is mine I was so well fed this chapter from that alone ( ; ω ; ) AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON HOW HE CALLS HER KITTEN AND EATS THE FUCKING LIKE DOVE??? RAW??? ROMEO ROMEO WHY FOR ART THOU INTERRUPING ROMEO I WANTED TO SEE WHAT HE WAS GONNA DO- forgive me anon I'm afraid I'm most unwell.

Speaking of the Like dove and the memories of the tower. The Tower thing reminds me of rapunzel, especially because she's out alone in the woods, but it feels super out of left field, no? If the anomaly is born from the Casino, which Taiga states "is him," then I wonder if the girl in the tower is representative of something he's forgotten? The chapter places an emphasis on how anomalies can affect memory, so it's not too big of an assumption to make that something must have happened to Taiga to make his memory this bad. As for the like dove... Romeo seems very surprised to see it, almost suggesting he never has before, which can you imagine how funny it would be if it showed up for him and Taiga. They've been friends and business partners for at least two years, I refuse to believe the dove would only just show up now. The image of him just never seeing it because everyone is too polite/afraid of him to point it out is too funny. The dove shows up twice this chapter, both times it sort of read to me like it had been there for a bit before it was noticed and in both cases Taiga reacts to it negatively. Given how paranoid he seems to be, I think it's probably because the idea of him caring/having someone care about him scares him due to the unpredictability of it and the potential for betrayal. He seems to think people only want to use him, so that's probably part of it too. I'm constantly doing way too many lines of copium, so to me the dove seemed triggered by Taiga's interactions with MC but I also see where you're coming with Romeo. Their friendship is much less adversarial than it was implied to be in their little blurbs, and I quite like that a lot. You know even if Taiga seems to think Romeo is always taking away his fun. And what's up with his constant want to eat anomalies, is Romeo not feeding him enough?

Slight correction, Taiga does seem to remember who Haru is, Harry and Lulu are both derivative of their names, so maybe he can only remember people in his year clearly? Or does it also include second years? He sounds very surprised at the concept of a "first year ghoul" in his house so maybe his memories are cutting off everything other than the previous two years...

I also have a bunch more thoughts but I'll cut myself off here ×-× gotta let some of them simmer before I make too much of a fool of myself (I already have)

[the-oracle-of-the-lost]

Re: your Disco S4 review:

but there was just a bit too much Therapy Talk for my liking. and to be clear, i don't mean too much Actual Therapy. i really respect the show for portraying therapy and trauma recovery in depth and just having cool main characters go to therapy because it's good and healthy is Very Cool. but i do think there are definitely scenes (particularly in the beginning of the show) that has dialogue fall into Therapy Talk where all the characters go around in a circle and coherently state their thoughts and emotions and then resolve their conflict.

I also have the same issue, I know the crew were heavily traumatized in season 1 and I love that we’re finally getting a Trek have Starfleet take mental health seriously.

But it’s how the writers execute the scene that’s the problem. I think you’re right on the money about them needing another pass at scenes like that.

I also think, most of the time the show literally stops the action for the characters to just talk. And I adore characters being in a room, just talking. But I think it’s because most of the time it’s because those scenes do two things at the same time. Or they usually have characters talk around it and be difficult.

In season 4, it seems the characters start their scene and they just over indulge too much, maybe a tighter edit would also work.

But also I think most modern shows have that problem where they use Therapy talk as a crutch for character development and relationships.

And again, I preface this that I do love having mental health taken seriously but I think there’s a way to do it where writer’s integrate it organically— one of the new shows I like from AppleTV— Shrinking, is literally all about it but it’s funny and heartbreaking and sweet. I think maybe it’s because the writers are also new to the concepts and think they have to fit everything to be relevant.

Hopefully, they worked out the kinks for season 5!

Yeah exactly. I love Disco but sometimes it feels like the writers just need to read their dialogue aloud to make some last revisions (and also put some nuance/unspoken things into the dialogue).

I also think, most of the time the show literally stops the action for the characters to just talk. And I adore characters being in a room, just talking. But I think it’s because most of the time it’s because those scenes do two things at the same time

This!!!! I know fiction is never meant to accurately reflect reality and that there are always going to be weirdly timed conversations for the sake of narrative but Discovery in particular has SO MANY "stop and talk" scenes during Big Action and it drives me crazy when the plot just establishes a strict time limit to do something and then we spend three minutes for characters to have a heart to heart instead of just. Doing The Thing. I know the 90s era "walk and talks" were annoying to film but those downbeats of characters chatting while going from point A to point B is a great place to add small bits of characterization (and movement!) instead of standing still and monologuing.

Thanks for the rec, I've never heard of Shrinking but will have to check it out!

(putting a big tangential ramble about Disco's portrayal of mental health/therapy under a cut because yeesh it got long)

As someone who has been in therapy, has a psychology degree, and has written fiction that uses therapy sessions as a setting/framing device, I can say with a decent amount of confidence that the way therapy/mental health is utilized in Disco is neither super realistic nor using its full narrative potential. Imo we skipped a very interesting part of everyone's healing journeys between s3 and s4 where characters are actually struggling to articulate their problems or denying their issues. Particularly with Detmer who went from having severe PTSD flashbacks in s3 to talking about her feelings with total clarity in s4 when actual trauma recovery is nowhere near as quick or linear and usually requires making major lifestyle changes to actually heal and maintain that healing.

And also I take issue with the fact that all of the characters are growing and facing similar issues at the same time and pace. It ends up making a lot of awkward and redundant conversations between characters who aren't in conflict and are self-actualized enough that they state everything they mean. And when there is meaningful conflict, the characters seem to very quickly overcome their flaws and make up. It's like the opposite problem that a lot of sitcoms and soap operas run into when characters are so driven to conflict and secret-keeping. It is refreshing to have a show where everyone is committed to being their best selves (which is quite similar to tng in that regard) but it doesn't easily mesh with the sort of drama that Discovery seems interested in telling stories about. All of this is also probably why Book's narrative (and his relationship with Michael) was one of the best parts of s4 because it felt like the writers actually committed to realistic season-long conflict born out of trauma and loss that wasn't written off. And as a result I think David Ajala's acting was some of the best of the show because he was given so much depth. I really just wish that the other characters had something similar but Disco's style of hyper-serialization, shorter season orders, and a large cast of recurring characters just doesn't lend to realistically telling stories about trauma and recovery because we almost only see the action and not the characters living their ordinary lives.

And while 90s Trek certainly wasn't The Best at portraying mental health (the therapy it shows in tng is just. Wrong. And so many characters like B'Elanna and Janeway have their issues with depression forgotten about after an episode or two), portrayals of PTSD with characters like Kira, Seven, Neelix, Picard, and Sisko tend to be more interesting to me because those characters' journeys through healing aren't linear. And as always, more episodes and episodic television in general makes it so emotional moments really hit (like Picard's breakdown in Family after Best of Both Worlds, seeing Kira's trauma around her father's death in Ties of Blood and Water, or whenever Neelix, the usual comedic relief and lighthearted character, has to confront how his family was killed in a brutal genocide) whereas with a show like Discovery – there's constant character drama and confrontations and big emotional moments so the catharsis of someone having a breakthrough in their treatment is a bit undercut. For something like that to be memorable, there have to be unmemorable moments too which just isn't Disco's style. It's not inherently a bad thing, but it's not really to my tastes.

Even the other new Treks tend to be a bit more grounded with character dialogue and addressing mental health. My enjoyment of Lower Decks shot way up in s4 because her admitting that Sito's death drove her away from wanting to be an officer was such a huge moment of catharsis when Mariner usually avoids talking about her feelings with a six foot poll. SNW has both La'an, M'Benga, and Chapel dealing with PTSD and their moments of vulnerability and pain are better because SNW tries to balance the silliness and seriousness of Trek. Picard is probably the most similar in content/tone to Discovery and even there despite the serialization and awkward characterization moments, the characters all have consistent issues with trauma that affect them at different times and affect them despite self-improvement. And I think Picard sometimes dips into heavy-handed emotional conversations but it's not quite as much as Disco because oh boy these characters are good at avoiding their feelings.

To be clear, I do love Discovery and people blow the awkward writing/Therapy Talk problem WAY out of proportion to cover for the bigoted reasons some people vocally hate the show. Like this problem does annoy me but it is just one aspect of the show and I hope one that will be fixed (or at least less noticeable) for season 5.

[severeweatheralert]

Things I learned while writing two novel-length fics in the space of nine months

Or, advice I hope might be of someone use to someone out there, but all brains are different so YMMV. Ironically, this is probably the longest tumblr post I've ever written. Do let me know if you got something out of it!

Planning

You don't need to know every single plot detail at the start. It DOES really help to know roughly where you're going, plotwise and thematically, so it feels less like you're running straight into the great unknown and more like you're headed to some destination. Even if you don't quite know how you're going to get there, yet.

You don't need to know every single character detail, either. Favourite song? Favourite food? I couldn't name my own, let alone my characters'. What is important is a general idea of what makes them tick. What do they want? Why are they here? How do they think? (and if you do introduce details, save them in a notes file someplace, so you can easily find them later).

Outlines are great. Outlines are not the law. If you come up with something that works better than the thing you'd originally planned? Change it.

Scene setting

Remember that you're writing fic, not a movie script. That means you don't have an effects team to pay and you can make the entire environment do whatever you want. Forest fire on the horizon to match your characters' mood? Do it.

Trust that your readers' imagination works. You don't need to describe every single detail to set a scene effectively. Just pick out a few that give off the mood you want, and leave it at that. (Setting dependent, of course- a scifi setting will need more description than a classroom or a hospital room, where most people will have been in their life at least once). This goes for character descriptions too.

Sprinkle scene descriptors through the dialogue/action instead of starting with a whole paragraph of exposition. You'll pull people in quicker.

Research: if you're setting your fic in an existing place, it helps to do (some) research and incorporate that in the work. Simple things like incorporating the name of an existing retail chain or a highway makes your setting feel a lot more real. Google Maps is great if you're writing in a country you've never been to. Just hop on streetview.

Drafting

If you're trying and failing (multiple times) to write a scene, ask yourself if there might be a pacing reason for that. Is the scene necessary at all? Are you trying to start too early in the scene? What are you trying to establish with it, and could that maybe happen elsewhere in the story?

If you get stuck on a phrase/name you haven't picked/word you can't think of/detail you haven't yet researched: put something like [NAME] in brackets. Then keep going. You can come back to it later and you don't need to disrupt your writing flow.

Turn grammar and spell check off. Run a spell check when editing but don't get haunted by the little red line while drafting. A lot of the time its suggestions are bad anyway.

When writing dialogue-heavy scenes, it's sometimes nice to get the actual dialogue out of the way first, then come back later and add actions or descriptions in between to pace the dialogue.

Sometimes you'll have to draft a scene multiple times before it feels right. This is painful, but ultimately okay.

Feel like you should write but don't really want to? I like to set a timer for like 20-30 minutes, give it a go, and if I'm not into it by the time it goes off I'll go do something else.

Editing

Let a section sit for at least a day before going back in to edit. Give your brain some time to forget some of it. You can still draft the next bit in this time!

Sometimes it helps to set the text to a different font or to paste it into a different text editor. Trick your brain into thinking you haven't seen it before, basically. If you're brave, you can even use the editor of whatever website you're posting to.

This is when you run the spell check. But remember: you're allowed to mess with grammar and use words that the spell check says don't exist. "He deadpanned" is a perfectly understandable dialogue tag, for example.

Use a thesaurus! I like powerthesaurus.org because it has a dark mode. The main thing to remember is that you're using it to find synonyms that may fit your meaning/the mood better, not to find more complex words. Especially useful if you find yourself using the same word over and over in a section.

Practical things

Brainstorming on paper works WAY better for my brain than brainstorming digitally, for reasons unknown. Plus you get the fullfillment of using up a notebook.

Have a scraps folder for deleted scenes. Don't actually delete them! You can scrap them for good lines later.

Especially for longform work, keep notes. Things like repeated lines, relevant plot details, things you want to incorporate in future chapters: keep them somewhere where you can find them.

For writer's block: sometimes you need to let a story simmer for a bit. I like going for hikes or chewing on my plot in the shower.

I like having two WIPs with vastly different moods at the same time. One in posting stages, one in drafting stages. That way if I don't want to work on a very moody WIP, I can switch to the other and still get something done.

If you're writing longform work: you'll improve over time. Try to resist the urge to go back and edit the first chapters once they start grating at your perfectionism. Especially if you've already posted them.

Don't write the whole thing in one document if it's longer than ~10k. I like SmartEdit Writer to organize my fics. It's free.

Uploading

I'd recommend having a few chapters' backlog before you start posting. This way you a) know you like the fic enough to keep working on it for more than one chapter; b) have some backlog in case writer's block strikes or life gets in the way of writing; c) can go back and edit in foreshadowing or edit out plotholes as you discover them.

If you have (and want to give) a lot of content warnings, keep a list while you're writing the chapter, so you don't have to figure it out last minute before uploading.

Your works' stats (kudos/hits/subs/comments) say nothing about the quality of your work. This one is hard to internalize.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

Fic Writer 20 Questions

Tagged by @meyerlansky

How many works do you have on AO3? 773

What's your total AO3 word count? 2,059,396

What fandoms do you write for? I'm deep in Masters of the Air now, obviously. I've also written for Band of Brothers and Generation Kill. I dabble a LOT, so my overall fandom list is very long. Way back in the day I wrote a lot of West Wing. I did a lot of Guy/Kyle in Green Lantern, and then Law & Order: SVU ate my brain for several years even though I can't actually say the show was ever good. Oh, and I was in Avengers fandom hanging out with my fellow Phlint crew at one point.

Top Five Fics by Kudos Revenge is Best Served @ (Check Please, Jack/Bitty)

But I Will Hold on Hope (And I Won't Let You Choke (Avengers, Phil/Clint)

By the Book (Avengers, Phil/Clint)

These Are Our Friends, and These Are Our Foes (You're the One I Love Most (Avengers, Phil/Clint)

5 Scenes to Build a Team (+2 Scenes of Sweet Sweet Victory) (Avengers, Phil/Clint)

Do you respond to comments? Yup! Usually in batches. I really like doing it.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? You Would Live a Hundred Years If I Could Show You How (Law & Order, Jack McCoy/Mike Cutter) -- I killed Jack.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I tend to write happy endings most of the time, so you can really just pick one, but I think it's probably A New Mode of Living (Band of Brothers, Speirs/Lipton), and I'm including the epilogue with that.

Do you get hate on fics? Very occasionally. I just delete/block and move on.

Do you write smut? Oh my yes.

Craziest Crossover? I once had CJ Cregg go on a date with Big Bird. They had a lovely time.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yup! Someone stole a bunch of my Rita/Amanda fics from AO3 and slapped them on Wattpad with Amanda switched for Olivia but everything else verbatim. I reported the shit out of her, and when she moved over to AO3 and literally did the same thing, I reported her again. She accused me of bullying, naturally.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Several! And I have blanket permission for my fics if anyone wants to translate anything. I would love if you'd link back to the original story so I know it's out there.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Eons ago there was a show called Without a Trace, and a friend and I took turns writing vignettes for the same couple. Same friend let me write a sequel to their Leo/Josh West Wing story, and we did a few more things like that. I don't think that any of those survive, however.

All time favorite ship? Speirs/Lipton, Band of Brothers. They are very important to me. They see each other in a very important way, and I treasure them.

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? On the advice of counsel, I refuse to answer.

Seriously, though I don't really have that sort of WIP. Either I'm working on it (A Mighty, Vast, and Dangerous Place is still in active progress), or the idea didn't pan out (a bunch of stuff), or I actively chose to stop working on it (there's a Ted Lasso fic that I will never touch again).

What are your writing strengths? I do good character voices and can get the emotional response I want from readers. I have fun coming up with interesting descriptions.

What are your writing weaknesses? Losing steam. Getting distracted by a new fandom. From a writing-writing standpoint, I have a hard time remembering room layouts or where people are in them. I don't think visually, so I'm always having to scroll back up or make a note so I don't forget a piece of furniture or a whole guy.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? I got no problems. It's about being able to understand the point of the conversation, not necessarily the words themselves. There's lots of ways to get it across while having the dialogue in a different language than the rest of the fic for whatever reason. But the use of the other language needs to fit the story and the characters, and if you're writing in another language, you better know it's quirks.

First fandom you wrote in? Ahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaha

Oh, god, it was Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers back when god was a child.

Oh, man. God, I just got the goofiest memories. I was SO into that show.

Favorite fic you've written? Oh advice of counsel, I plead the fifth.

Honestly, I don't know. It changes constantly.

Tags (very optional): um, @dytabytes, @infiniteeight8, @daysofxavierspast @sarahcakes613, @ralkana, @lunaris1013, and anyone who wants to. I swear I barely remember my own name when it comes to tagging time.

[desultory-novice]

Do you think that Daroach has killed someone off-screen? He is referred as a ruthless thief in star allies even after his friendly meetings with Kirby and him stopping the villians has more so to do with pragmatism than him feeling actually helping.

...!! A Daroach ask! I'm so happy!

Anyway, warning for brief talk of killing, stealing, and other immoral + gray morality stuff! And remember that regardless of what your favorite video game characters would do, everyone has someone who cares about them the same way you care about your most important people! (If you don't think YOU have that person in YOUR life yet, you will, someday! I promise!) </Dess positivity>

Now, Daroach gives me strong "phantom thief" vibes (The hat, the cape. Red is not exactly a stealthy color. It's clear Daroach cares more about style than being undetected. Plus, his JP description constantly throws around the word “calling card” - another staple of the phantom thief) and phantom thieves traditionally outsmart those they encounter rather than kill them but...

...If we're talking about a Kirby universe where everyone comes back to life in a week or so, then perhaps...?!? That is to say, at least as many as Kirby has "killed." (Aka, has "killed" no one that's gone forever :cough: ignoring Sectonia :cough:) But being ruthless (I did a quick wiki browse and couldn’t find a direct quote, but I trust that it’s mentioned somewhere) I'm SURE he and the Squeaks have gotten into violent confrontations before.

The question here is, who would a thief "need" to kill? Even in real life, a thief's focus is on stealing. Anything that gets in the way of that/complicates that process is something they DON'T want. That includes violence/violent confrontations. Killing someone and THEN taking their stuff is more liable to be associated with feelings of power/domination/control. Stealing CAN be about those things, but is usually more concerned with profit or survival. Or rebellion, if you're stealing from an institution.

(Btw, as for writing all that, I actually have zero experience with thievery - and I've never taken a psychology class, so treat the stuff up above with a grain of salt - but when you have ambitions of being a writer, you look a LOT of stuff up/think a lot about motivations.)

There's the possibility of Daroach having harmed or killed someone in self-defense, such as some yet unseen law-person or bounty hunter, but unless his reciprocation was particularly cruel or brutal, it doesn't exactly follow that such an act would lead him to be described as ruthless. And that level of violence doesn't line up with anything we know about the Squeaks anyway. They made Kirby apology cake!!

"Ruthless" does mean having no compassion or pity, but I imagine that is more in reference to the degrees they will go to get their treasure. Recall that Doc built at least two giant killer robots to stop Kirby!

...Oh.... 

...I just said "killer" robots, didn't I?

O-Okay. Let's just make a division here between cartoon violence and real world violence. I don't think the Squeaks have committed anything that could be comparable to the horror of real world violence. I DO think they have gotten up to their non-existent elbows in cartoon violence though!

But as much as I could imagine a growly Daroach threatening someone "to the pain" style in a dimly lit room, the tip of his cane pressed right up against their throat, I don't see him going through with it. He's got so many better methods of getting what he wants than serious violence! Plus, his dialogue in Mass Attack is a perfect mix of “Robin Hood” and “Noblesse Oblige.”

In fact, I went and checked the Japanese Star Allies description and while he mentions “taking” those “Dark Heart Gems” there’s no indication he plans on using them to do anything bad. Daroach speaks as if the thrill of the (treasure) hunt is what he’s in for more than anything. (And being able to lay back on a pile of gold and jewels like some kind of tiny, furry dragon.)

...He'd definitely make someone who hurt his crew regret it though!

Slightly related, I happen to love any HC in which the Squeaks are treated like space pirates, considering they have an airship AND are capable of inter-planetary travel! I feel like someone once mentioned that since Samus is (sort of) canon to the Kirby universe, she's probably seen Daroach's bounty on her radar, at least.

...Though I cannot say for certain what a Metroid-canon Daroach may or may not have done to earn that bounty!

[archivist-the-knight]

oh my god... spoilers under the cut but i need to talk about here for sweethearts

this is the first arcadekitt game i've played [not the first ive seen!! i saw my neighbor enid in a playthrough format and decided to check out the author's other work.] and??? best one i could've chosen i loved the experience.

first off even without the plot twist the game is really good. its so sweet and genuine, all of the characters are super nice and the dialogue feels natural. each character is likeable, and you have equal reasons to like and dislike each of them. their flaws are balanced out as equally as their pros. also?? the pride flags were really cleverly incorporated into the designs. especially acanthibar... the others are cool i love em but acanthibar... he takes the cake. the aro sleeves... the trans sash... he's giving it his all dude highest respect for my frog guy. also, i do like how the pride flags kinda matched with each of the characters personalities if it made sense? there's more to be said about that but biggest example i can draw from is vatilis and crowven... vatilis, try as they might, wears their heart on their sleeve and has a hard time keeping their emotions down, so theirs is a sweater that compliments the rest of the outfit, but you can still see it. crowven is casual about it, if you bring it up he'll confirm it with pride and isn't as scared of hiding his emotions. his main alt sprite is him itching hsi nose with the pride bracelet hand...

also mary... the fact that until we see her most of what we've heard about her is the fact that she's "scary" and weird from netina, and that she doesn't like being called that from crowven. and when we actually meet her... she's so kind, out of everyone in the game she has the most decorated, personality-filled room, and is generally just a big sweetheart. also points. she and reggie are autism4autism ace4ace they're literally adorable together... who gave them the riiight oh my goddd /pos

anyway!!! :-3 i really like games that subvert your expectations both narratively and aesthetically. which sucks, because i don't see it done often. but??? oh my god here for sweethearts filled that niche perfectly... the genuine suprise i felt hearing them mention "hunger" until i realized... the protagonist never mentioned anything beyond "i'd feel nice" to why they wanted that connection... and then i was pleasantly surprised by the twist that the protag was here to feed off of the heartbreak ooooh my god... genuinely everything i had building up for the dance stopped in the best way possible.

like the signs were pointing towards natina being the secret killer, but... reginald being the supposed killer the ghost saw was actually the first witness of the crime, and twyla actually being the one to commit the murder? and how, once you realize this, it's already too late?

and twyla being onto us the whole time... asking us if we eat in our room at all, having gunther distract us when she literally said she just needed him out of the way for a little bit to get his keys, which she could have easily done without us. once you get that information, so many events prior make so much sense! hell, some of the incorrect dialogue makes sense! of course we'd accidentally slip up, we're hungry and desperate!! its just .... ooo eated. pun intented.

anyway the only real con i had about this game was that there wasn't a seperation between how you presented and what pronouns people used for you. but even then i'm fine with that!! theres only like two moments that i encountered it, its fairly casual and ultimately didn't take away from the experience. + i know it would've been hard to code... the game already has so much going for it in that department so i get it!! and plus... they were all conveniently terms i'm okay with being used for me so there's that hehe [oh they also all still use they/them for you no matter what. its just like a few instances of them calling you pretty so again; its okay and in fact im fine with it being kept that way tbh]

regardless!! i had so much fun with this game, please play it on itch.io its free and really entertaining. it takes a while to complete, it took me an entire afternoon, so keep that in mind. but i personally really liked it!!

bonus... the player character looks exactly like me/one of my sonas. HELP...

[weer02]

thanks for the tag @lenorelovesmax!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

just one, my current one - ambivalence! sooo i'll probably be a little too repetitive in these responses, 'cause all i have to say is about this fic.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

138k so far

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

-ambivalence (211)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

of course i do! i appreciate every single one of them and i always reply to let the person know that i'm thankful for it.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

actually, i haven't completed one fic yet... but apart from that i would never write a fic with an angsty ending. only angst through story, ending must be hopeful!

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

like i said above, haven't completed one fic yet.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i got one short hate comment back in 2019, but i deleted it✨ i don't need that kind of negativity in my comment section✨

9. Do you wrote smut?

i sometimes kinda wish i was able to, 'cause there moments later in fic where they'd fit, but my ace ass (ace-spec to be precise) just has no idea how to do it. but if i ever was to write smut i'd like it to be not really straightforward if you know what i mean. fun fact, in chapter 21 i wrote a scene between max&warren where they get a little closer than usual (it's nowhere near smut tho) and that felt...off? like i had no idea what i was even writing! ok. thats it hahaha

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've ever written?

never wrote crossovers

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

fortunately not!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

actually someone offered to translate my fic and i agreed, i've been checking their profile and the translated fic never appeared . it was in 2020, so 4 years ago and the translation is nowhere to be found unfortunately. but i once translated chapter 1 into my native language just for fun.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

never, but that could've been fun!

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

hmmmm, that's a tough question! im not that big of a shipper i think. and lot of my ships are considered to be controversial in fandoms... i'm gonna sound boring and obvious to say caulscott, cause it's the first ship that came to my mind, but is it my fave? it's very interesting to explore, and i love to read numbers of fic with them falling for each other over and over again. from the more " wholesome "ships i can think of, it's dani and jamie from the haunting of bly manor. their story is beautiful and tragic at the same time, and quite important personally for a reason.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

i won't say that i doubt it, but i really really want to finish ambivalence. it's been so long since i started it and there's either personal stuff that gets in the way or lack of inspiration/motivation that makes the process go on for so long. but i have to finish it no matter what, 'cause i don't like leaving stuff unfinished and i really want to see the ending of this fic written down!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

oh that's a no from me. i tried it at the beginning, but the dialogues sounded awkward and cringy. the reason i edited chaps 1-5 is that some of dialogues there have been translated from my native language and they sounded off.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

life is strange. i started writing my fic 'cause i was starved for content and wanted to fullfil my wish of nathan saving max from the dark room.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

how do i choose a fav when there's only one? so i have to go with ambivalence. it's my first fic, and it's also very long and i often struggle with stuff that it involves, but overall it's a fun experience.

[rickie-the-storyteller]

Steph's Crew - Bonus Scene (Friendship Day)

Intro:

I've been trying to clear out the storage on my laptop, and I found some really precious scenes that I forgot to include in the dialogue series! Reading them again after not seeing them in a while really made me smile. Thought I'd share one with you real quick.

This scene is a bit of a flashback. Takes place at the start of Year 7 (so the characters are about 11-12 years old). It is a Brelise scene (you know how much I love this dynamic lol), and it's essentially their friendship origin story. A lot of people I've shared this story with had expressed confusion as to how these two became as close as they did, especially considering how different they are. So I thought I'd give them a nice wholesome starting point.

Something I should make clear to you is that they've known each other for a really long time before this point (they went to the same primary school), but this is the point where they become actual friends (since you can be in a person's life for a while, but not really know them or have a close bond with them).

(Today is Friendship Day. It is a big annual trip that the school does in late September, where all the new students in Year 7 and Year 12 get taken out for the day in order to build relationships and learn new skills. Everyone always has fun on this day, and it is a great way to get used to being in a new school and making new friends, like the name of the trip suggests. About halfway through the Year 7 final group activity, Elise notices Bret sitting outside by himself, facing away from the window. She leaves the room and goes out to go check on him)

Elise: Bretton Christopher Carter.

Bret: (looks up from his phone) Oh. Hey, El.

Elise: What on earth are you doing? Why are you using a cut-down tree log as a bench instead of having fun with everyone else?

Bret: Because I want to.

Elise: (sits down beside him) Why?

Bret: Because I feel like a failure.

Elise: Ok… why's that?

Bret: Today's Friendship Day. The whole point of today was to make friends, and barely anyone has wanted to work with me since we got here!

Elise: Maybe they would if you took things seriously for once...

Bret: I AM being serious! It's not my fault that everyone else thinks I'm not, is it?

Elise: Well, I mean… you do have a reputation. Mostly due to actual legit facts. And I get that changing people's minds about you can be hard, but something you need to understand about life is that people are going to judge you based on your past actions, whether wrong or right.

Bret: I know...

Elise: But hey, look on the bright side. You still have a bit of time to turn things around. You can still make a friend, the day's not over yet!

Bret: May as well be. Nothing's happened so far, so it probably never will happen.

Elise: (rolls her eyes) Certainly not with that attitude, it won't.

Bret: What's that supposed to mean?

Elise: No-nothing!

(Bret glances at Elise, clearly not convinced)

Elise: It's just that it won't kill you to lighten up. Having a positive attitude works wonders, believe me.

Bret: It's hard to be positive when positive things aren't happening to you.

Elise: Oh, I know, I know.

Bret: Making friends was so much easier in primary school. You didn't need to get to know one another, you could just throw a ball at a kid, and then sooner or later, the whole class is out playing catch together.

(Elise chuckles at this)

Bret: There wasn't any need for formalities or nothing. Back then, we just had fun and just... acted like yourself. That's it.

Elise: Those rules still apply now.

Bret: No, they don't. Everything's different now.

Elise: But does it have to be?

(There's a slight pause between them as they think about this)

Elise: (nudges Bret's arm) Come on, B. Up you get.

Bret: What?

Elise: (stands up, pulls Bret by the arm) We're going back inside.

Bret: (stands up) Why?

Elise: To have as much fun as we can before the end of the day. And then, later on, I'm walking you home.

Bret: …Why, though?

Elise: 'Cause that's what friends do.

Bret: (smiles) Really?

Elise: (smiles back) Yeah. I think. (pauses) I don't know, I've never done this before.

And then, six years later, they fell in love haha.

But yeah, that's basically it. It's sweet! They're both so awkward lol.

The actual chapters/book I've been working on reveals that the walking home together after school ended up being a routine with these two (The introduction to these two characters is them driving to the park to meet up with the others lol. They're singing and rapping along to "Empire State of Mind," I think. Not a big fan of it nowadays, but back in the early 2010s, that song was my jam). They'd go home together almost every day, and they'd discover new places in the town because of this (like their favourite record shop, for example). Once Elise got her own car, they'd drive home after school instead of walk.

Btw, the concept of "Friendship Day" was actually a real thing in my secondary school. Anyone else have an experience like that? Or is it just me?

[webbywatcheshorror]

Webby Reviews Horror: We Need to Do Something (2021)

We Need to Do Something is a movie about a family trapped in their bathroom during a violent and possible unnatural storm. The premise really set my expectations high, but left me pretty disappointed, to be quite honest.

Don't let the little blurb at the bottom of the above poster fool you- if you're expecting anything like the Saw franchise, you're going to be let down. (That said, Jigsaw would definitely put the dad character in a trap and I'd pay to see it.)

Review under the cut, and as always, SPOILERS ahead!

It starts off with some promise. A storm is coming, gather your family into the safest room in the house until it's passed. I've done it plenty of times in my life and I daresay I'll do it again- so I have what you might call some experience. Which, clearly, this family lacks, as they bring absolutely NOTHING by way of supplies. Not snacks, not blankets and pillows, not spare chargers, NOTHING. Aside from Dad's thermos with what appears to be an alcoholic beverage of some sort and a few board/card games.

The bathroom itself is nice and big, which makes me wonder about the rest of the house, but we never actually get to see it. With the exception of a few flashback scenes, the entire movie takes place in the bathroom. (I'm officially calling it- Bathroom Horror is now its own sub-genre. I'm going to make a list.)

My one complaint about the bathroom is but a simple one- why in the name of CAD does the only door open OUTWARDS? Go ahead, look at all the bathroom doors in your house for me. Hell, ANY of the doors in your house. They all open inward, do they not? This simple issue is what causes the rest of the movie to unfold the way it does, so it's not like it was an oversight or anything. It's just baffling to me.

Now onto the characters. I couldn't really feel much attachment to any of them, but I did feel sorry for the kids. Dad's an alcoholic asshole, Mom's a passive aggressive adulterer, and they spend most of the movie bitching at each other at the slightest provocation. The kids are better, they're just fairly typical kids. Sister's a teenager who snarks at her kid Brother (age not stated that I recall, but he's younger than 11 I'd say? I genuinely cannot estimate people's ages.) who pokes fun right back at her. Fairly decently written siblings.

I spent most of the movie waiting for things to get weird, to get creepy, but almost the entire time is spent watching them slowly just unravel- which could have been fine and dandy except I was promised something MORE. And it would have been fine if we were given any indication of how much time has passed, because otherwise they start losing their shit about ten minutes into the storm.

The storm brings down a tree directly through the roof of whatever room the bathroom is attached to and blocks the door, which, again, opens outward for some reason. The 'windows' are far too small to be of any use, and Dad claims the walls are *checks notes* SIX FEET THICK. Now, I never actually used my drafting training to actually make anything, but I'm pretty damn sure nobody builds houses with walls that are six feet thick.

There are so many hilarious moments, but I get the sense that they weren't intended to be funny. But how else am I meant to respond to things like the World's Most Aggressive Rattlesnake and the demon not!dog? Or when, in some kind of fit of madness, Dad starts whipping Mom with the dead rattlesnake after having bitten its head off? ('Like Ozzy,' he says, because 'snakes are just bats that can't fly!')

Most of the dialogue is weirdly phrased or just unrealistic in general, as well as their decision-making. Not once do they search for anything to try to unscrew the door hinges. Towards the final scenes, Mom is able to bust through a part of the wall that leads... Elsewhere? But they didn't bother with doing that anytime beforehand, only after two of them are dead and demons kill the only other people they hear from.

But by far the most unrealistic part is when, in complete seriousness, Daughter confesses that she and her goth gf might have summoned the demon storm with a spell they found on the internet and then didn't even do right. And her parents BELIEVE HER lmao. Like, right away, even. No 'oh sweetie that's ridiculous' or anything.

Some parts felt too rushed through, and some felt too drawn out, and some I wished were handled differently. There was a lot that could have been done with this story, and it really did have some good beats, but overall it felt awkward and kind of boring. And the worst part is the ending- it finally got interesting! Mom comes back from checking what was going on outside (absolutely COVERED in blood by the by) and outright refuses to say what she saw, then there's Sounds coming from the hole she crawled through, they scream, and it ends. We never even got to see the Demon whose tongue they (for some reason???) decided to eat.

I really did want to like the movie, I did, but you can't promise me a supernatural storm and then make me sit through a whole lot of pointless, baffling family drama when there's demons and shit out there. I give this one four outta ten ghosts. It just didn't work for me, but it had me laughing whether or not it meant to. Both times I watched it, I could not help but laugh when the kids are excitedly letting the 'dog' that's just out of their view lick their hands and asking 'oh who's a good boy?' only to be horrified when it answers, gleefully, 'I'm a good boy!' as it licks them.