#I'm willing to put it up for download if anyone's interested

[passiberri]

Sunset Palms, Brindleton Bay 🌴

MORE INFO & DOWNLOAD

[tinydefector]

Okay. You've got me invested on the newest installation of Human Effects.

Now I can't stop imagine both Humans and Mechs alike having some sort of Google Form where they click on the Human/Mech they want to fuck and see which is the most desired amongst their respective species.

Now that I think about it, I think there'll be a lot of fighting. And chaos.

But then again, we live for the drama.

Human Effects Lost Records

Wordcount: 1.5k

Warnings: talk of sex, human/alien, pornhunting

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Did I take this as an opportunity to merge Human effects and laboratory logs together into a series yes I did. I'll be working on the human Effects timeline where human Effects 2 is spin-off pieces from the mainline.

_____________________

The Holo, cyber and inter webs had a strange beauty to them. It has given many the ability to communicate with different planets, species, to share culture, laughter, debates, videos And all sorts thanks to the many different satellites floating out in space. Everyone also enjoyed it for the use of downtime the most. Some had taken to enjoying Earth's entertainment platforms such as YouTube, Netflix and many other sights, others fell into more depraved sights such as Reddit, Twitter,Tumblr, Pornhub, interlink, Processed and other sights. 

Commlink: post Humans Aboard BLO freight.

BigBotNoStop: Alright mechs, I come bearing an inquiry. As you may have heard from some of my last posts, the newest additions to our crew are a thriving colony of soft, squishy humans. Word in the taproom is some have taken quite an interest in... extending cultural exchanges, if you catch my drift. Not really my field of experience and was hoping some of Xeno's here might have some input. 

Posted to Sublink: Human and cybertronian relationships?

But I'm curious, are interspecies acts even possible without harm? Their frames seem so fragile. One wrong motion and SPLAT! No more humans. quite a few members of our crew have shown interest in flirting... Thoughts? Suggestions for how to proceed with care- help a mech out!

Blazemech: Yo! You got fleshies on your ship! Fragging jealousy!. Your ship is looking for any dock workers?

TailOrTrails: Oh Primus, are we really having this discussion?? Look, I get the appeal of those soft little flesh bags. Really, I do - different wiring can be so freakin' hot. But there's no way a romp with one of those puny things ends well for them! Even accidentally bumping into a table puts them in the medbay. Think of the mess, One wrong thrust and you've got squish all over your plating.

ISOCLEAN: Just download some holofacing and use your imagination if you're that jonesing for an organic interface. Trust me, it's not worth the risk - or hassle of cleaning up after. sure you can find something from the Human sites on Mechanophilia, slutty Show and shine or Car Washes. Stay shiny and keep those servos to yourself, mechs! Some curiosities are better left to fantasies.

Flyboi69: Don't leave a mech hanging, I want deets!, has anybot here actually gotten friendly with a fleshie before? I'm talking about hands-on experience. We've all gotten curious watching, but has the real thing lived up to the fantasy? 

Pimptheride: Any tips for coaxing one into the berth, or does their tiny size mean you've got to take it slow and gentle? And most importantly... any videos out there of the deed? A mech's gotta do some, ah, research before taking the plunge. Hook a brother up if you've found any good amateur organic-on-mech action out there in the 'net. Gotta see it to believe it. 

ScienceSorcerer: For reasons. Does anyone know if humans have both Spikes and Valves? Or if they have any human anatomy holos or books and such from Earth they are willing to sell for some decent Shanix.  

T-Wrexz: Primus, you mechs are hungrier than fragging scraplets. As far as I know, relations between our kinds are still uncharted territory. Could be amazing, could end badly - who's to say until we try? Personally I'm keeping an optic out, just curious to see what new experiences those squishy aliens can offer us tough metal mechs. 

Bar-rizzla: Oho, look who's swapping tall tales. I've been keeping a close optic on our ships squishy company since they came aboard. And between you and me... I may have an in with their ambassador that could lead to some juicy first-hand intel. Just trying to track down the bot we think they are berthing with. Crews got bets out. Turns out they get just as curious about us big metal hunks as we are them!. The other night, their chat got particularly saucy after a few drinks. Lots of gossip and speculation about which lucky bot one of them might take for a private ride. 

WPHAS-Violation: I may have a certain special "human entertainment" vid I could share. Let's just say the organic in question got quite... friendly with an eager mini-con. You know where to find me if you're brave enough to watch! 

Tapemix54: Oho, mechs - think you've got it bad now? You should've seen some of the real deviants back before the war. When I was still stationed on Petrex, I knew this one smuggler - went by the name Rattler. Sneaky little scraplet, but Primus if he didn't have the wildest stories. Rattler used to run goods across time and space, dodging security at every turn. He'd pop up out of nowhere selling the rarest exotic "pets" to rich senators and other high caste mechs looking for a thrill. I'm talking aliens so bizarre even our data banks had never heard of their kind. But the highest bidder always walked away with a new "plaything" to break in, if you catch my drift. Word was Rattler even had a collection of sentient organics that he'd let special clients "test drive" between runs. Humans were apparently a favourite - their smaller frames could take all sorts of creative handling. Rattler had vids, too, of course, to entice buyers. I saw one once, let's just say "versatile" doesn't begin to cover it. Naturally the vids have all been scrubbed by now. But I bet if you knew where to dig in the deep web or some easily swayable Archivist, you might find traces of Rattler's stash still floating around out there.

 T-Wrexz: Whoa, whoa, slow your intake there tapemix! As much as I love a good far-fetched tale, I gotta call scrap on this one. Humans weren't even around back then, much less roaming the streets of Rodion as black market pets, I'm all for imagining exotic interface scenarios, but let's keep the stories at least somewhat rooted in known history, yeah?. Last I checked it was probably fabricated by Caminus cartels to make their actual goods seem tame. 

A few other mechs agree with T-Wrexz before a few kliks later a new post is put up. 

Post: 

"Old Iacon records saved of the Senator and his human Conjunx”

It's a file collection of holotapes and pictures: "Enjoy these are pre war photos of Senator Shockwave and his Human holding their sparkling" 

There are many holos and videos of the long gone senator smiling with his human perched on his shoulder, in the crystal garden with a young sparkling held in the human's arms. Videos of the sparkling playing with the two but the last The last holo looks like a family portrait with Shockwave’s frame in a lime green blue white paint with gold accessories,  his human lover is dressed in elegant robes and the small blue praxian sparkling held in their arms. Each holo is dated with the Iacon records seal of authentication. 

FlyBoi69: NO FREAKIN' WAY. Is this real?! *downloads files faster than Blurr* FRAG ME SIDEWAYS, I think I just popped a gasket! How in the PIT did you manage to dig up the holos of senator Shockwave, most of his speeches, debates and lectures were wiped. Where did you find this! 

Jackin0: of all mechs, with an actual human back in the Golden Age?!. I'm calling scrap on this being real. It's gotta be a flawless deepfake. By PRIMUS if true - to think ol' Shockers was living it up with a squishy. Maybe there's more to those Senatorial types than meets the optic...

T-Wrexz: Okay, I'll bite... but someone better explain to me RIGHT NOW how any of this computes! Last I checked, time travel and inter-species relationships were the stuff of erotic imagination, not legitimate pre-war archives. Tapemix, you better start talking. Where in the PIT did you source these files? How do we know they're authentic and not just an incredibly convincing parlour trick? Because if I'm gonna let these images ruin me, I wanna be ruined by the real deal! Spill it, mech. 

Iacon-Records: Tapemix54 could i please request where you discovered these as i work with Iacon records and this here is history that needs to be preserved. I'm willing to talk with you through a contractor if you would be willing for us to add these back into the new hall of records. Cybertron has lost so much and to find something like this I ask that we find a way to preserve it.  

BigBotNoStop: Pit take me now... I think I may have to reassess everything I thought I knew about interface and partnerships. That human is holding a sparkling curled around them - frag if it isn't the most beautiful thing I've ever seen! If anything could make me believe in miracles, it's this! Tapemix, you glorious glitch - how can I ever repay such an enlightening gift?

Tapemix54: These were filed only cycles after Shockwaves Emputra; they were added to the Iacon records by some Archivist under the title. 'I will Remember you for who you were'. This was right when the senate fell apart on the brink of the war. From my knowledge of information on Rattler he apparently had an outlier who he got to take them to different times since he was a shuttle made it easier to transport. That's from the  records that still exist at least. I'll take you up on that offer Iacon-records. 

________

photos in the collection

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[666writingcafe]

An Interview With Lucifer

Part Three of A New Series

Question One: How do your friends describe you in a word?

Cranky.

Question Two: Who would you want to be stuck with on an island?

If I was limited to just one person, then MC. If there were multiple people, I'd add Mammon and Barbatos.

Question Three: What are you hiding now?

Treats from Cerberus. Not because he isn't a good dog, but because he's found their original hiding place and has been digging into them constantly, and the treats I give Cerberus are rather expensive, so I can't exactly afford to buy them every day and ensure that other stuff gets paid for.

Question Four: Do you prefer mountains or beaches?

It depends on my mood. If I don't want anyone to find me, then definitely mountains, but if I'm feeling a bit romantic, then I'd hit the beach.

Question Five: What is your hidden talent?

I can juggle. And I don't mean that in the metaphorical sense--although I can do that too--but in the literal sense, like a circus clown. It's one of the ways I relieve stress, because I can just shut my brain off and focus on keeping the objects I'm juggling up in the air.

Question Six: What makes you laugh?

You'll get a satisfied chuckle out of me whenever someone I dislike gets what they deserve, but if you want to hear a true, unrestrained laugh, either get me drunk on Demonus or put me in a room with MC when they're in a good mood.

Question Seven: If you were a thing, what would you be?

A metronome.

Question Eight: If you have no GPS, how would you find your destination?

I'd print out directions. (But what if you were unable to do that?) Then I'd ask the locals where I need to go. I may be the Avatar of Pride, but that doesn't mean I'm not willing to admit when I'm lost. (someone yells out, "that's a lie, and you know it!") And if all else fails, then I'll get to my destination through sheer determination.

Question Nine: Describe your three best qualities.

Apparently I'm patient, kind, and loving. (Why do you phrase it like that?) Because I wouldn't necessarily call myself any of those things, but I trust that the person who did wouldn't lie to me about such things. (And who might that person be?) MC.

Question Ten: Would you consider yourself a cool person?

I'm going to lean towards no. I'm far from being a trendy person. Just ask any of my brothers. (What about MC?) You'll have to ask them. I know they like spending time with me, but I honestly don't know why. Usually I'm busy with paperwork, and it's not like that's terribly interesting.

Question Eleven: What is a skill you want to master?

Baking.

Question Twelve: What would you do first if you won a human world jackpot?

Pay off any debts MC may have.

Question Thirteen: What one aspect of the human world would you change if you could?

I'd make it legal to punish animal and child abusers by inflicting the same types of torture onto them as they did on their victims. (That's rather serious, Lucifer.) So is abusing those that are unable to understand why their supposed family is hurting them.

Question Fourteen: What is your preferred card or board game?

Let's just say that I'm not allowed to play any tabletop fantasy games unless I can ensure that all of my work is complete. (Why's that?) You've met Levi, yes? (I have.) Now, imagine me behaving like him, and you'll have your answer.

Question Fifteen: What is your current favorite app on your phone?

Don't make fun of me, but there's this app where you can send messages to people and it shows up on their phone in a cartoony heart. (Are you talking about the viral Candy Heart app?) ...yes. (That's actually quite sweet.) It was MC's idea, and I initially did downloaded it just to amuse them, but I've come to enjoy using it as time has gone on.

Question Sixteen: Would you go to space if you could?

I'm content with merely looking at pictures of space.

Question Seventeen: What kind of museum or exhibit do you prefer?

I like learning about the history of different objects. Looking at their evolution fascinates me.

Question Eighteen: What kind of humor do you prefer?

I'll throw you a curve ball: I enjoy a nice pun from time to time, even if it would be classified as a "dad joke".

Question Nineteen: Do you prefer driving a car, a motorcycle, or a bicycle?

Oh, a motorcycle, by far.

Question Twenty: When was the last time you climbed a tree?

This is going to really show my age, but the last time I climbed a tree was when I was a young angel. *pauses* Thinking about it is making me want to do it now. Being up in the branches is quite peaceful.

Question Twenty-One: What is your strangest habit?

There are times where the only way I'm able to fall asleep is to hang upside-down like a bat.

Question Twenty-Two: What is your weirdest fantasy?

I'll give you an oddly specific one: if I'm ever able to retire, I'd like to buy a farm somewhere in the human world countryside and raise livestock and plant fruits and vegetables with MC. (You've brought them up several times in this interview.) You could say that I have a soft spot for them. (Or that you love them.) Well, obviously. They're a wonderful person to be around. I'd like to spend the rest of my life with them if I could. (You mean, their life.) Listen, I don't choose my words lightly. What I say is what I mean, one hundred percent.

Question Twenty-Three: Here's something a bit more light-hearted: would you rather fight a shark or wrestle a lion?

The lion. I can't swim nearly as well as Levi can.

Question Twenty-Four: How do you want the world to end?

By my hand.

Question Twenty-Five: Would you like to be shorter or taller?

I like my height just the way it is. (What if you had to choose one or the other?) Then I suppose taller. I don't feel I'd be able to intimidate people as well if I was shorter.

Question Twenty-Six: Who is the annoying person you want to get rid of in your life?

I don't necessarily want to get rid of anyone, but I'd like to seriously alter the behaviors of Solomon and Mephistopheles.

Question Twenty-Seven: Which artist and/or song dominates your human world music playlist?

I'll give you both: Metallica and "Adore You" by Harry Styles.

Question Twenty-Eight: If you had to go to prison, what would be the reason?

Treason.

Question Twenty-Nine: What is the most critical trait you seek in a friend?

They have to be able to keep secrets.

Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan, @anxious-chick, @5mary5, @expressionless-fr

[steve-rambo-leaks]

ＺＩＮＥ　ＣＯＮＴＥＳＴ　（ｗｉｔｈ　ｐｒｉｚｅ）（≧▽≦）

Ｉ　ｈａｖｅ　ａ　Ｚｉｎｅ　ｃｏｎｔｅｓｔ　ｆｒｏｍ　ＮＯＷ　ｕｎｔｉｌ　Ｆｅｂ　２４ｔｈ　（ａｕｔｉｓｍ　ｈｏｌｉｄａｙ）．　Ｐｌｓ　ｒｅａｄ　ｍｏｒｅ　ａｂｏｕｔ　ｈｏｗ　ｔｏ　ｓｕｂｍｉｔ，　ｔｈｅ　ｐｒｉｚｅｓ　ａｎｄ　ｗｈｙ　Ｉ＇ｍ　ｓｏ　ｈｙｐｅｄ．　

This is for BOTH people who consider themselves artists and those who don't. It doesn't have to be a comic. A ZINE CAN BE ANYTHING :D It can be a tech tutorial, it can be a comic, it can be flash fiction, it can be a local history guide, it can be Street Fighter II Turbo strategies printed out to be left in arcades, it can be anything!

The video below explains the process better than I could probably in text (I suck at conveying thing through text). My video also has a tl;dr that I would appreciate everyone read before submitting.

There's some other stuff below, but if you're more visual, like not the reading type (like me) then feel free to skip and just head to the video description to jump in.

Also, you may know me for my "Raspberry Pis are for paypigs" video where I try to advocate for the upcycling for ewasted Chromebooks.

I've been into the idea of leaving around Zines for a while. Every time I walk into a coffee shop or local business, I think "wow, I really would wish there was something cool to read." So I started making things to put there: 8 small 2.5 inch panels, folded into one 2.5 inch square for those interested to unravel. I put them inside of these origami boxes that a learned how to make, ones with a logo printed on them.

So far I've made: a zine template (I call it a dog ear zine for some reason), a template for the box to put them in, a zine about using yt-dlp, a zine about a reindeer working IT (along with a collaborator) and (coming soon) a zine about a monster in a cave doing stuff. All of the odg LibreOffice Draw template files to make your own zines or print out mine are on my archive.org page (linked at top of my Tumblr). I'd really like other people to try this 8 panel 2.5 inch zine format, and I'm willing to bribe people with sweet, sweet Gabe Newell bucks to do it. You can submit as many zines in this format as you want. Just make sure they're printed out and have pictures of both the front and back (plus other pictures if you want) . In the video I mentioned you can use my submit page, which is probably the easiest for me to keep track of. You can also use the #dogearzine hashtag to enter. Please read the video description before entering, though (which includes Youtube's and Tumblr's terms of service, though this is more of a youtube thing).

Also, and this is completely unrelated, there's a lot more to me than just the faux-clickbait Wojak thumbnails. I like doing tech, wrestling, japanese, vidya and other videos, but I love to throw art in whenever I can shoehorn it in. Like, the video where I go over inchworm, butterfly, colors 3D and flipnote sudomemo - colors 3D on a hacked 3DS was my sister's first experience with digital at (she's moved up to an iPad and Procreate). So, it hold a special place in might heart, as a lot of the things I talk about do. I made a Whomp video because I miss Ronnie. I made a Rockbox video because I wished more people used dedicated MP3 players and knew where and how to download music. I want to help people do interesting things. And I also want to thank anyone who read all of this. You are cool. I hope everyone who's able to can compete in this contest and challenge themselves to get out of their comfort zone, to try something new! Also, also, thanks for liking these posts, people on Tumblr. You all have cool blogs. (^o^)丿

[kafus]

hey, so i finally got around to dumping my gen 4-7 saves, and i'm dumping the pkm files with pkhex to make it easier to throw stuff into bank - i'm wondering if any of the mon files would be useful/interesting to you at all? i have a lot of old event mons - i think most of them for gen 3/4 i put them on a flashcard and traded them over so the same ones might be floating around the internet, but i know for 100% certain i went to this distribution and at least one toys-r-us one so there might be unique ones of interest i know i also have a bunch of ex-shadow pokemon as well as the ranch mew and phione

(and absolutely no worries if this isn't interesting at all - i just thought of your celebi story while categorising and figured i'd ask :) anyone else sees this who's interested just let me know too

gen 3 i'll have to look into if i can use my flashcard and an old ds to dump it or if i have to just pal park stuff but. might be cool stuff i didn't transfer...)

oh super cool!! i’m unsure if i have any personal immediate use for anything but if you upload the files for the event mons in bulk i’d be willing to do the manual labor of crosschecking with publicly available distributions and separating which ones are original to you and which may have been downloaded and injected from the internet. always very cool to have new event pokemon backups even if they’re from an already backed up distribution (like, different IVs and whatnot).

on the note of gen 3 backups, you can back up gba games pretty easily with a ds flashcard and an old DS or DS lite actually, i used to do it that way before getting my GB/C/A backup device. you can find a tutorial for that here if you need one: https://projectpokemon.org/home/tutorials/save-editing/managing-gba-saves/using-gba-backup-tool-r55/

i definitely think it’s worth backing up the whole save in its original form not just for the pokemon itself but i would check all your games for any interesting wonder cards or in the case of gen 3, mystery event data as well!

[softpine]

hi brandi! I was wondering if you would maybe be willing to help some of us out and put your Real Paint FX Photoshop extension up for download? envato no longer offers a free trial and I am obsessed with jada's paintings and I want so desperately to be able to make my own ;-; no worries if not though, have an amazing day <3

aw man i'm sorry to hear they don't do the free trial anymore, that was such a cool thing. unfortunately i wouldn't feel comfortable uploading someone else's creative work for free and i wouldn't even know how to tbh, because it was kind of a complicated download process that included a lot of custom brushes, textures, etc. i'm sorry!! :(

edit: @mmmatchasims or anyone else who's interested: i would be happy to run your pictures through the filter for you and send you the end result? just send me a dm 💖

[duchessofostergotlands]

(wasn't sure whether to send this to you, grace, or the on heir blog, but since yours was the last addition on that post you get it lol)

if you use a site like redbubble or something you just need the design and they'll only actually make the stuff that someone has already bought, so you don't need to have an inventory or anything (also, i have in fact had stuffed shipped to brazil and the cost wasn't that high lol). i also know some youtubers/podcasters commission art related to them/their content and sell it as their own merch, but idk if it's a one-off payment or the artist gets a cut of each sale.

as for a patreon kind of thing, ik time is an issue, so it could be a monthly/bimonthly extra episode, or maybe just a stream - which you don't have to edit, and people can interact real time. and the content there doesn't even have to be related to the main podcast for people to be interested enough to pay for, 'tis the age of parasocial relationships, i know of true crime podcasters that have paid content that's just them talking about relationship woes and current events. but you could do stuff on topics that are tangentially related but not royal enough to make it to the podcast. maybe a "this month in deposed royal families", or drama that went nowhere but was big/funny at the time, or random deep dives into historical stuff (and if it ever become relevant to the main podcast you can just release the content publicly, because the patrons are paying for the certainty, not the exclusivity).

and if you want to start small and see how many people would be willing/able to just pay for what we already get you can have a early release on the patreon that's just one/two days before it goes public. it's great that you two don't want to deprive people who can't pay of content, but you also already put so much effort into making the podcast, i'm sure there's plenty of listeners who would love to give something in return already!

Hello :) It's totally fine to message here on this one!

Yes! Redbubble is the kind of site I looked at before. A lot of them take commission at point of sale so you don't have any upfront costs which is good. And your experience of getting things to Brazil is very helpful haha. I think as long as you have a clear agreement with the artist up front then it's fine but Grace is also very nifty at the creative stuff. And I know how to download a free font for a basic slogan t-shirt even with my lack of creative skills lol.

I think the idea of having something go out early is interesting. I'd have to speak to Grace as it might limit our time to listen back (I always send the episode to Grace so she can listen before it goes out in case she regrets something she said etc) but I'm much faster now and usually the episode is finished Tuesday night so I could release it 24 hours early. We could also do voting on topics as someone else suggested, or voting on the episode name. So that's got potential. I guess for me it's just understanding appetite because I'm never going to pay anyone for early access to anything but I also didn't want episodes to be over an hour and it was the most requested thing so I don't really know what people like!!

That's very kind of you :) I'm very British and so the idea of expecting money in return for something that isn't a traditional, salaried job is just very bizarre and uncomfortable for me. The concept of "hustling" isn't in our DNA haha. At the same time I know people get paid tons of money to do podcasts even though they don't research, produce, edit or promote it themselves - which we do. And I don't want to be one of those people who gets greedy and drives away listeners who were engaged and supportive from the earliest episodes just because of their finances. So if we can find a way to do it that isn't too time intensive and doesn't push listeners away unfairly, that's great. I just don't know what people would be willing to pay for so it's helpful to hear from you all :)

[jackofjesters]

I know there's a good chance that no one's gonna read this, but I finally wanna get this story of mine out there. Lots of text ahead, read at your own will!

When I was around 9 or 10 I used to have a best friend (honestly looking back he was always kind of a douche), and he and his brother were both really into collecting pokemon cards at the time. At some point, he offered to give me all of his copies and a bunch of energy cards and I was like "sure why not?" I ended up becoming attached to certain cards, my personal favorite one being the card he gave me of vanillite. Fast forward a bit, one day out of the blue he asks to see that one back. I think the reason he said that day was that he wanted to just show it off to someone or something like that. I didn't have any reason to be suspicious of him, so I gave it to him. A week or so goes by and I'm starting to feel a little weirded out since in my head I'm thinking "y'know, it doesn't usually take this long to borrow something just to show it around :/", so I asked if I could have it back. Without looking at me, he says that he traded it for something (I don't believe that since he never mentioned getting any new cards at the time), and then he just ignored me for the rest of the day. I remember feeling so down and heartbroken over losung my favorite card that day that I decided I didn't want anything to do with my cards, so I put them on the very top of my TV stand.

Some years go by, I never touch the cards, and I end up with a little sister. One day she notices the cards and asks me about them. All I told her was that 'some guy gave them to me' and that 'I don't really care about them anymore.' After hearing that, she asks if she can have them, and I say yes before moving them to her dresser so that she can reach them. She never really did anything with them, but I think she liked going through them every now and then. Now she loves pokemon games, and I think eevee is her favorite (last I checked).

Again, fast forwarding to the past year or so, and my best friend of many years wants me to play a minecraft mod or something since I finally got a laptop. She keeps telling me to download 'pixelmon', and my brain is just like "pokemon isn't even that interesting, why wouldn't she wanna play something else?" So I kept putting it off until I told myself that 'if I download it and play it on my own and like it, then I'll play it with her. If I don't, then I'll never touch it again.' I ended up playing it for a few hours straight, and I genuinely loved catching the little guys and leveling them up and whatnot.

I've looked back on all this recently, and I think I've realized something. I'm not sure how true this is for anyone else, but I think a lot of the time that the reason I won't be willing to get into something is because I've had some sort of negative experience in the past that relates to it. For example, I don't like driving much even tho I used to dream about being able to cruise around a nice town with good tunes since almost everytime I'm on the road it feels like something happens. One time when practicing parking in an empty lot, someone had called the cops on me for 'suspicious activity' and three cars showed up, which obviously unnerved me. Another time, someone almost ran into my side since they were trying to merge into my lane without any warning. There's plenty of other examples, but even if I had only given one that would've been enough. Sometimes all it takes is one bad thing to happen, then suddenly you don't go certain places, don't say certain things, don't hangout with certain people, and so on. Maybe the best thing we can do for ourselves is allow for the chance to experience something better, y'know? Obviously that's easier said than done, but I think it's a good goal to have. Cuz honestly, I think I'd be so much happier if I'd let myself revisit past places, people, and things in general, or at least try something new regardless of what my brain tells me.

Honestly, I just wanted a reason to get this out of my head, and maybe it could be something to look back on. To anyone who reads this, I hope you're doing well, and I hope I can enjoy pokemon in some way now. Maybe I could play it with my sister sometime.

Vanillite | OOYAMA

[selene-tarot]

Doja Cat Current Energy/Personality Reading

DISCLAIMER: This is all ALLEGED, please take this reading with a grain of salt, the reading may not be a 100% correct and just know this is tarot, don’t take it super seriously.

Current Energy: For Doja I see a sense of feeling secure but unsecure at the same time when it comes to her money? She may feel that even though she’s accomplished a lot now, she may be running out of time when it comes to her career. Either she’s scared her fame will start to dwindle or in just in general scared of losing money. She also needs to watch over how she’s spending her finances as it could be easier at this time for her suffer a big financial loss. I see something here about love. Someone who’s been keeping an eye on her currently(or just recently) will try to reach out to her, but she will decline. Truth be told she’s hung up over a past breakup(I actually kinda suspect she’s still in contact with this person somehow). She won’t be in the mood to commit in a relationship with anyone new anytime soon. She should focus on what’s coming towards her now, which is more success and abundance in her future. 

Side note: HELP, the request said a personality reading for doja cat, so I’ll be adding that part later on today. At least y’all have something to keep entertained 

Personality

Card's: Envy, Scorpio, Temptations, Pioneer, Detective rx, Poet, Goddess, Servant, Mystic, Midas

Side note: I'm gonna list each card(like in a grocery list format💀)and describe how it correlates to doja.

Doja's song streets is song I get that matches her personality the most. She's the type to get jealous and very possesive easily, and has more scorpionic traits such as being emotionally intense.....OK, I'm finally back🤣🤣🤣 so a lot of these cards I pulled correlates to what she incorporates in her brand and music because she channels it very WELL(Pioneer, Poet, Goddess, Midas).

Pioneer- She's innovative and creative, in her music you're gonna see a lot of originality that she's mainly constructed and created. I feel like this year she might unintentionally start a trend on social media such as tik tok or instagram whether it be for dance, music or meme.

Detective rx: I feel with this card it's a mix. On one hand this shows doja overthinks A LOT and it gets to the point where she might accuse others of things that has never happened so she has to be careful with this because she can really go off the deep end. I feel this do stem from high expectations of others though. So she may feel very hurt when she goes out of her way for others but when that same energy needs to be given back, it's crickets. This caused her to develop a very defensive attitude especially when a promise wasn't fulfilled. For example let's say you and her was supposed to go out for ice cream and you have something come up to where you have to postpone it. She's gonna get pissed off and say you blew her off to go with someone else when that's not really the case.

Poet- Is really talented songwriter and puts that in her music. She's very witty though.

Goddess: She's a really sensual person and channels her sexuality makes it into her own. It can seem really ethereal at times. It may not look as explicit when you're watching, like y'know a music video, but then you search up them lyrics or for breakdown of her videos it's like👀👀👀ok gurl.

Servant: I stated this before, she's very giving/selfless and willing to help when she can. Although she takes favors and stuff very seriously so don't play her💀

Mystic: Now this actually interests me because this leads me to believe that she's either very much spiritually intuned whether she knows it or not. She follows her intuition very often, so she may be called to make a certain song, or have a feeling to add a artist on a feature here, or she may get downloads from spirit to change some lyrics, or even scrap a whole project. I feel this ability helps her make a lot of hits.

Midas/Miser: Self-explanatory. Anything she decides to be on automatically becomes successful. This also kinda feels like this ties fo what I mentioned above with holding her funds really close to her because she's afraid of poverty/going broke. She may try to bag more sponsorship deals/commercial ship deals as a result. She has a weird relationship with money.

[dumbass-mha-simp]

Elliott x GN!Reader

Your New Playlist

Kinda sad? Ig angst but not actually like, bad angst yk.

1k words

Stardew Valley

Warnings: crying, mentally beating yourself over a crush, self-sacrificing but not in a death kinda way, cussing (I think like one f word), Elliott is a theater kid you can't convince me otherwise,

I wanna do a part two, would anyone be interested? I know how much us Elliott simps want fanfiction. I'm probably gonna start on it anyway lol.

Yes I actually made this playlist smh ikik, you don't have to listen to it ofc but his aesthetic really fits my music taste, at least I feel so. I write my fanfiction as gender neutral as I can but if you ever spot any mistakes I'd love to fix it!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elliott's POV

My feet took me across the path leading to Leah's house. The gentle cotton clouds stretching their wisps across the blue sky, bright enough to blind me as though it were the sun that it surrounds. The gentle new Spring breeze froze my cheeks lightly as my eyes closed to avoid the same chill from the past winter.

Fresh Spring flowers and hidden vegetables encircled her yard as I made my way to knock against the dark wood door that always seemed thunderingly loud.

Leah peaked through the window by her door before I can see her face light up and reach for the door.

"Hey, c'mon in!" She opens the door wider to let me pass through. "How are you doing?"

"If I'm honest, a little troubled." I sigh looking forlornly to the floor.

"Come sit." Leah pulls me to her table and sits in the accompanying seat. "Tell me what you're thinking."

"Leah, what does it feel like to you before you admit you fancy someone?" I look up into her listening eyes before her face changes into slight shock.

"Hmmm." She brings her hand up to her chin as she ponders. "Well, you miss being around them when they're gone. You constantly find ways to connect anything back to them, like `oh they'd love this`, or `I should check up on them.` You care about their opinion more than others and you want to learn about them, even if it's the uninteresting things."

I slide my arms down onto the table, placing my head on top of them. That sounded exactly like what's happening. I had read about it a million times, falling gently in love with a close friend. Perhaps that interest to become friends was always attraction.

"I can't get enough of Y/N." I muffled through my folded arms sighing once again as I turned my head to finally look back up at Leah, the light stinging my eyes.

"Well maybe I could help you with getting more of them?" Leah smirked as she grabbed her phone from her pocket.

I lifted my head slightly panicked. "What are you doing?" I rushed out.

"Relax, I'm not telling Y/N. But they shared something with me. They have a wide music taste yes?"

I had heard some of their music. While they made us lunch, while they partake in their hobbies, when they hum near silently late at night on the beach. I nodded back thinking of how they never seemed to be signing along to a song similar to the others. Unpredictable, and absolutely captivating.

"Well one of their tastes in music is very folk-y and they mentioned how those songs reminded them of you. So they made a playlist of songs that remind themselves of you." Leah said looking down and scrolling through her phone.

They made a playlist about me. They actively want to remember and listen to things that remind themselves of me. I feel I might faint. Was this something that was common among friends? Was this nothing more than an act of kindness? Or something they decided to do on a whim?

"Here give me your phone I'll send it to you." She holds her hand out expectantly.

I quickly go to pull out the hardly used device. I had never had much use for it but if it could bring me any step closer to Y/N I wouldn't hesitate to learn.

Leah downloaded a music app, laughing at how I had no applications. Before leaving it opened on the playlist. "The Lonely, Ocean-Accompanied, Writer." It read. I reread it a couple times to convince myself it was real. A lovely name, but is that how they see me?

"Chill out, Romeo." Leah giggled. "I can practically see you overthinking everything. Just relax and listen to the songs, maybe they'll tell you something."

I wrapped my arms around her neck, hugging her closely before leaving to listen to the playlist.

~~~

As I shut the door behind me I pressed my back against it. I've never felt so scattered before. I looked for the volume button, turning it up before hitting play.

The songs, quiet but emotional. As though you had just lie down on the grass to cry or relieve tension or reminisce. They felt like a memory I had trouble recalling.

The songs seemed to renew me, before I heard one I distinctly remembered hearing before. From high-school theater club, a time in my life that was fond to me. I do remember Y/N telling me they loved musicals, hearing them hum along to Heathers while I wrote.

A song unlike most others on this list.

"When He Sees Me" from Waitress.

~~~

Y/N's POV

"Oh, Yoba. What if when he sees me, I like him and he knows it? What if he opens up a door, And I can't close it?" I belted out the lyrics as loud as I wanted, the tears streaming down my face unwavering.

The good side to owning your own farm is you could scream along to your songs without people to complain. You had been replaying this part of the song for awhile now. He was all you could seem to think about.

Your head was swarmed with thoughts of Elliott. Some where he reciprocated your feelings and others where he shut you out. Every time you built a daydream where he loved you unconditionally you trampled it with the thoughts of his rejection.

You brought your knees up to your chest, resting your head between them as you cried.

~~~

Elliott's POV

We had had conversations about musicals, perhaps that's why they chose this song? Maybe they thought since my school had a play of Waitress that it'd fit. But I know they liked other Waitress songs, why weren't those added? Only this one.

After that song came another, "I Hear A Symphony" one I've never heard. As the song started all I could see was Y/N. I could hear them singing along, their smile, their eyes averting to mine for the thousandth time.

Y/N was my symphony.

The powerful, breathtaking ocean couldn't compare to the awkward farmer that ran across town just to give me their best sweet pea flowers and be the first thing I saw as I left my quaint cabin.

They brought the motivation and inspiration for 8 hour writing sessions, they brought me food when they knew I'd forgotten to eat between writing the book and planning on what to write next.

They were something I could never dream of losing. I wished to live the rest of my life with their support.

If telling them my feelings means I'd lose them, then I couldn't dream of making such a selfish decision.

~~~

Y/N's POV

I trudged my way into town. After last night's crying session my eyes still felt a bit dry, if I'm honest I cried when I woke up as well. The loneliness felt suffocating in such a lonely little house. But I needed some new seeds. The stone path drawing all my attention as I walked.

As I walked into Pierre's it wasn't hard to tell that people could see something was off. After buying my seeds I felt a hand on my shoulder, turning around to find Elliott.

"Y/N are you feeling alright? You look as though you've been distressed lately." You motion to him to follow you and walks out of the store behind you.

You take a deep breath as you start to tear up a bit more. He reaches for your face as he lifts it up, looking at the pooling tears.

So many things, the things you could have said. But they didn't come up. Instead a vision of his face of discomfort at your confession. You couldn't bear it. You couldn't tell him.

"I've just been stressed. I'm sorry for worrying you, Elliott." You sigh, attempting to put up a fake smile as you wipe your eyes. He retracts his hand as he looks guilty. Fuck does he feel like it's his fault?

"Well I'm willing to listen to your troubles if you ever need." He also puts on a strained smile as you both part ways.

"This is for the best." They both whisper as they leave.

[jimlingss]

It's B from @bang-tan-bitches and I would like to request a yandere fic. It can be BTS OT7 x reader or BTS member of your choice x reader. Similar to your amazing isekai story i would like something similar(a long one shot or a multi-chapter, your choice). Whether YN transmigrates to a game or a novel (not as a villain but maybe as a cannon fodder side character that has little importance to the story and just wants to lay low) but YN captures the attention of the love interest(s) and shit starts getting weird, intense, uncomfortable. Maybe it causes the supposed female lead to turn into the villain, maybe it causes the love interest(s) to turn into the villain(s). Maybe YN realizes that something is wrong with the story/game but can't figure it out. Idk. Time period doesn't matter. Modern. Ancient. Fairytale. Fantasy. Whatever.

If you can do this great! If you can't or don't want to, that's okay too. You're an amazing writer with so much talent and I'm really appreciative of all your work. Thank you for taking requests from your fans, I'm sure you've received a lot.

Take care! 😘💜💜💜

at the start of the pandemic, I was getting back into manga and manhwa and then after a few months, I dawdled off but recently, I’ve been getting back into it again haha so this request came at a pretty good time. Hopefully you won’t mind that I’ve taken some creative liberties with this request lol I think it’s more fun if I keep readers on their toes, including the requester.

On another note, I really shouldn’t be writing all my isekai’s with Taehyung as the main lead but he’s just so fitting asdfghjkl

↳ The Fox Bride

2.6k || 99% Light Fluff, 1% Angst || Kim Taehyung || Isekai!AU, Slight Yandere!AU, Nine-Tailed Fox!Taehyung

You are a tutorial character.

But you weren’t always. You still remember being a career woman in the twenty-first century, struggling with overtime and paying bills while trying to keep yourself fed. The success of that ranged from month to month. But more importantly, you still remember that night too.

It was rainy. Your car blew a flat tire. You pulled to the side of the highway and got out.

The last thing that registered was the deafening honk of the semi-truck. 

Then you felt yourself flying upwards.

But when you landed, instead of colliding with the concrete and dying upon impact, you fell back onto your ass in the middle of a market on a dirt road. Transported back a thousand years ago.

Your purpose was fulfilled in the next two minutes. 

“Are you alright?”

The male protagonist had stretched out his hand and helped you up. The hero. The main character. It was obvious with his bright red hair, shining eyes and bronze armour. He was so starkly different from the rest who were gray and drab, including you who was suddenly in a brown shapeless dress. He was practically a neon billboard in the middle of a graveyard.

“Are you Y/N?”

You looked at him, befuddled that he knew your name. But before you could even respond or provide a line of dialogue, he said, “This is a delivery from Baker Jeon. He gives you his thanks.”

The protagonists handed you a loaf of bread. Undoubtedly his first ever quest. 

You looked down, not sure what to do with it.

“Do you know where the blacksmith is?”

You had absolutely no clue. But there was the deafening noise of hammering steel literally ten steps away. You would have to be blind not to see the gruff man shaping a sword at an anvil right on the road and deaf not to hear it. As if that wasn’t enough, the literal sign of the shop read: ‘the blacksmith’.

So you pointed.

“Thanks.” And he trudged off.

You were utterly confused until a background character who said they knew you waved you over. You shared your bread with her, brushed aside when she asked you what was wrong, and you followed her as she walked up to your supposed cottage.

All the while, you saw yourself in the background of the hero’s main quest as he ran through the town.

And that was that.

It wasn’t so hard to figure out where you were or what the hell this was when you put your mind to it. Without much of a job or a family, and no technology but the candle that you had to conserve when night fell, there was ample time.

So you spent it thinking and you eventually solved the mystery.

You were in Beast Boys Harem: A Forbidden Embrace. AKA. a dumb yaoi otome game app that you downloaded on your phone when you were sixteen and bored. You remember because you were too cheap to buy the routes, so you played the tutorial, prologue and read the summaries of the routes online. Now you regret that you didn’t just fork over the goddamn five dollars. 

Even more than that, you regret that you even downloaded the game in the first place.

But at least you’re just a tutorial character. You’re free from the storyline and the plot—

That’s what you thought.

Turns out living a thousand years in the past in a fantasy realm as a woman didn’t bode well. It was probably no different from how it would’ve been like in the medieval ages. You had no trade skills. No one was willing to accept you as an apprentice when you were a woman. You found that you were essentially illiterate with a reading level of a preschooler, no one was willing to teach you, and you had no power or wealth when you were without a father or a husband.

And you’re certain what the landlord and tax-collectors are doing is illegal.

But in this world, in this unjust realm, there is no such thing as the law.

“We know you’re in there!”

You jolt from the heavy pounding on the frail wooden door.

“It’s time to pay up!”

Your hands tremble as you set the candle down that’s still billowing of smoke, the flame smothered out mere seconds ago. As much as you want to hide and pull the blanket over your head, you know that door won’t last. They’ll find you if you’re trapped in here.

“If you can’t, spread those legs of yours!” a low voice spits and there’s chortling from the men.

Someone adds, “Sell your body already!” 

“Open up! Damn whore!”

Without a single possession but the white nightgown clad on your body, you open the latch of the back window. You cringe at the squeak, trying to keep your movements quiet before the door gives way.

You hoist yourself up onto the window ledge. The door bends with the strength of multiple clenched fists against it. Your feet touch the soft grass outside your cottage. The men shout.

And the door finally slams against the wall, hinges broken. 

But by then, you’ve slipped into the shadows.

“Where is she?!”

The blanket is ripped off the bed, curtains are whipped back, every drawer dumped onto the ground and cupboards yanked open. The floor shakes with the weight of their boots and you press your palm to your mouth to silence your panting breaths, slowly stepping away.

“That damn whore slipped through us—!”

But as your shitty luck would have it, a sudden crack has the whole world coming to a standstill.

Shit. You look down at your feet, realizing that the snapping noise came from you stepping on a twig. And it’s exposed your hiding place.

“There she is!” — “Out the back window!”

You grab fistfuls of your dress and bolt. 

“Get her!”

With your cottage on the edge of town, there’s nowhere to run but through the dense woods. It’s shrouded in the darkness, no doubt filled with wild beasts creeping through the thicket. The rustling canopy of the trees doesn’t allow the dim, waning moonlight to illuminate your path.

So you’re left blind. Struggling up the high incline of the forest, feet slipping on dirt and mud. But you keep sprinting with all your might, even when the pointed, coiling branches scrape at your calves until blood sheds and the hem of your dress tears in the underbrush.

“Run, little rabbit!” one of them mocks, “Run!”

The four men continue to give chase, gripping onto their roaring torches, shrieking and howling after you. One of them is manically laughing as if your efforts to flee only adds to the thrill. Their greased hands reach out to snatch you, but the tips of their fingers graze the ends of your hair.

Your teeth are sunk into the bottom of your lip, sobs breaking through your aching chest. Your lungs burn, dying for a break or moment of relief. But you don’t relent and luckily, you manage to build distance between you and the men. Only, that luck comes crashing down by a fucking hole.

A hole in the forest floor that you don’t see. That has your footing all wrong. That makes you scream and fall.

You twist your ankle in a direction it’s definitely not supposed to be in and cry from pain. 

A second later, you force yourself to get up and keep running with tears flooding your eyes and dripping down your cheeks. But it’s more like limping than running, akin to hobbling on one leg and every movement has pain shooting from your swelling ankle.

The effort becomes futile. They surround you within minutes.

“All finished?” The tax-collector’s head cocks with a spreading grin. “You’re not going to keep running?”

Why couldn’t you just fucking die the first time?! Even if it was an awful death where you didn’t have time to prepare yourself or say goodbye to anyone, at least it would’ve been the end. At least you wouldn’t have to suffer.

But there’s no time to grieve. Or hate the new life you’ve been given. This is it. You have to keep going. You have to survive. By any means. You’re about to pick up a branch and uselessly wave it around at them, shout at them to stand back. Anything that you could do to save yourself—

“Who dares come onto my mountain?!”

There’s a deep timbre behind you. A husky voice that quivers the very core of the forest.

As if the wind has swept through, the trees and thicket rustle and it goes silent.

The men fall back onto their asses, some torches clattering to the ground. Their eyes have grown double in size, nearly falling from their sockets and their jaws have dropped to the dirt.

“I-It’s the nine-tailed fox!”

The man scrambles back.

“Demon!” 

Another barely manages to get onto his feet. He turns around and lurches away while shrieking.

They all run. Scattering away as frantically as cockroaches when the light is flickered on.

From your spot on the ground, you turn around with wide eyes. 

Amber irises meet your gawking and they practically glow in the darkness of the forest. He is dressed in a loose, white robe that’s draped over his frame, open to the middle of his chest. And over his honey hair, on the top of his head, his pointed golden ears twitch. By the torch fire still yet to die out, he is illuminated and his shadow is casted on the ground. The blazing flame warms his cold, sharp features. 

He is the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen. In both worlds you’ve lived in.

And you know who he is.

Taehyung. One of the love interests of the hero. A seductive, sly creature that eventually coaxes the hero into selling him his soul to grant one of his wishes. But Taehyung grows to become an obsessed character that wants to do nothing but monopolize and possess the hero for himself.

That same Taehyung approaches you with his lip curled as you teeter to your feet.

“Run away, girl.” He leans close. “Before I eat you.”

“Stop!” 

On sheer instinct and adrenaline, you push him back. Your palm shoves against his firm chest.

Taehyung stumbles back with his eyes becoming rounded. He looks down to where you had made contact against his body. “Did...you just touch me?”

“What?”

Taehyung’s head darts upwards and he captures your wrist in his hand, squeezing tightly. He tugs you in and on your swollen ankle, you stumble into him. Bodies flush against one another. Your face pressed to his warm chest. His arm coming around your waist to break your fall.

He is aghast. 

“You’re not from this world.” Taehyung’s yellow eyes swirl as they gaze into you. “Where did you come from?”

…

It’s been three days.

“Wed me,” he begs for the seventy sixth time. 

You don’t know why you’re keeping a count.

“No.”

You’re hugging your knees for warmth. The rice paper-paneled doors are slid open and letting in the chilly air. He doesn’t seem to be affected by the cold, but you don’t look at him for long. 

You turn into the corner of his home while sitting on the tatami floors as if you’re putting yourself into time out. But you’d like to say it’s your privacy corner. It’s as private as this abode, which was basically one room, could get. 

Taehyung sighs in frustration, placing his hand on his forehead. His teeth grit. “You’re only making this harder for yourself.” Your silence angers him more. “You can never leave.”

You turn over your shoulder to glare. “Even if I married you, you’d never let me leave anyway.”

Taehyung narrows his eyes on you and then smirks. “You’re right. Wed or unwed, I won’t let you out of my sight. You should feel grateful, girl. You’re the best human I’ve ever treated.”

You quietly scoff.

Maybe you should feel scared. Maybe you should tread more lightly. After all, he’s not a character to be trifled with.

But you know he needs you. That alone gives you power. 

As a beast, Taehyung’s been trapped on this mountain by priests for centuries. The only way he can be free is by feeding off of sexual energy and breaking the barrier. But of course, they also cursed him to be unable to touch any woman in this universe. 

You aren’t from this universe.

You jolt when you realize that while you were lost in thought, Taehyung’s crawled closer. He has a foxy smile, amber eyes searching your expression. “Maybe….maybe I’ll grant you a bit of freedom if you would just give into the temptation and let me have a taste of you.”

As cold as he looks, he is beautiful. He is mischievous when he smirks and sly when he speaks. You are utterly spellbound as you look into his irises. And the temptation he speaks of flickers in the warmth of your belly.

But you turn away.

“I already said we only do that kind of thing after marriage. And I will only marry someone I love.”

Taehyung draws back with an unamused scoff. “What a prudish world you’re from.”

He wanted you the moment you were brought to this house. With the intensity of his stare and your captivated state, you had let him pin you to his floor and you liked it. But then clarity came and you blurted that such an act only happens after marriage. A lie just to buy time.

You didn’t expect for the hero to arrive at Taehyung’s house the next day. With his red hair and bronze armour, he had gotten lost in the forest and knocked on the door. Before you could limp over and answer it, Taehyung jumped off the roof and confronted him.

The guy was thrown off the mountain within five minutes.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. They were supposed to have a steamy rendezvous. Taehyung was supposed to get the sexual energy from him! 

The story was going off the rails. And you’re not sure what you’re even buying time for anymore.

The both of you know it’s only a matter of time before you break and succumb to his mesmerizing seduction.

Taehyung is cruel, ruthless, obsessive.

But what’s the most bewitching thing about him is the jarring contrast of when he’s clumsy and nurturing. It’s what he regards as his own weakness. What he hides from others. But you felt your heart waver two nights ago when you were shaken awake in the middle of twilight. When you peeked open your eye to see him gingerly wrapping your swollen ankle with bandages.

He looked beautiful in the pale moonlight, ears, tails, sharp features softened—

“Ow!” You wince as he squeezes your ankle, right on your injury.

“You think too much in your head,” he says and looks at you. “What’s wrong?”

“It hurts.”

A sadistic smile tugs on Taehyung’s lips. He lets go, but only to lift your chin with his fingers. His plush lips are inches away, his breath warm on your skin and he gazes deep into you. “I won’t let you return to your world. I won’t let you run away. I won’t let anyone harm you.”

“You’re mine now.” Taehyung swears, “You’ll fall in love with me eventually.”

You gulp and he smirks.

The two of you know it’s only a matter of time.

[cosettefauchelevente]

I hope this doesn't break your ask rules. I don't know where/who else to ask this. This sounds so stupid but I feel like I have no where to go. Radfems, conservatives and the left all have their own brand of lesbophobia. When it comes to dating I'm so scared I won't find a girl who is "normal" in that she isn't deep into any queer politics. I feel my dating pool is limited due to that and wanting to date another gs lesbian like myself. All of this has me pretty depressed. Any advice? Thank you.

if you're willing to swipe through a sea of crap, there are normal people on dating apps. one of my mutuals found someone on tinder last year who was not only normal, but her type, after days of talking about finding nothing but men listing themselves as women, straight couples looking for a lesbian to have a threesome with, and other weirdos (it didn't work out between them, but that's not the point). if you don't want to go down the route of swiping and swiping till you match with someone decent and have a bit of money to spare, you could buy a paid dating app. this will weed out the people who are just there to see how many likes they can get or who just want a hook-up, etc (apparently there's going to be a gc lesbian dating app called club monocle coming out soon. of course I've never used it, but from what I've read they verify that you're a real woman via video before you can make an account, which sounds promising. it's available right now, but it's currently only for friendships, I believe. there's also one called giggle that scans your face to make sure you're a woman first. again, never tried it).

if you don't want to try online dating, my advice would be to go outside and talk to people. i know that sounds obvious but it's the best advice. put yourself out there, take up a lot of different hobbies, join some a lot of clubs, say yes to every event you're invited to. that way, you'll meet a lot of different people, some of whom will be people you connect with. I met every girl I've been involved with organically without even thinking I would meet anyone i hit it off with, they just occasionally appear if you know a lot of people. even if you can't get a date, you'll still make some friends and have some stories to tell.

you could try downloading an app called meetup. it's not a dating app, but one for finding people in your area with similar hobbies and interests. I'm in a book club and a cinema club for my city on there, but they have all sorts of clubs for different activities on there, sewing circles, hiking clubs, cooking clubs, music clubs, etc, and lgbt societies as well. if you're looking for other lesbians than I'd suggest joining a meetup group for lgbt people. of course there might be weirdos in it, but it's an idea.

you actually could try instagram as well! i used to run a lesbian account a few years ago that had 15k followers, and occasionally i would make posts for people to meet each other. i would provide a format for people to fill out in the comments (first name, age and age range they were interested in dating, general area, hobbies and interests, and other info like that), and people who were interested in them would reply to them with an emoji and then they would have to talk to each other in dms. I used to get comments all the time of people saying they met their girlfriends on my posts, which was so cool 🥺. im not involved with the lesbian side of instagram at all these days, so idk if these speed dating posts are still a thing, but other accounts used to do them as well. if you follow a few lesbian pages on there you might run into one. or if you're brave you could just slide into someone's dms.

apparently gyms are a good place to meet lesbians? I haven't had much luck in my dudebro-packed local gym, but I feel like I read about gym lesbians all the time on the internet. or you could maybe try joining a sports team. if you meet a girl that pings you in the gym, you could try asking her to help you use the equipment to try and get to know her. join some outdoorsy clubs, go kayaking or fishing, find a diy club if there's one around (and bring man repellent).

if you have lesbian or bisexual friends, hang out in their circles sometimes. most of the time ssa people have a good chance of knowing other ssa people. I met my last ex through friends, and she was totally normal (until wattpad got to her rip).

that's my advice done. the last time I was actively dating was in 2019, so I asked some mutuals in case anyone had more up to date advice, and the responses were:

"My only advice is that the more requirements you have, the smaller your pool gets. But it's okay. I really only want masculine women, I have a STRONG preference for other lesbians, I don't wanna be annoyed constantly with any politics at all. And y'know, I find women who meet those standards. Maybe I'll run out of women, but I'd rather be single than have something I don't want. It's a bit depressing to think about, but y'know, we'll all probably find somebody."

"Oh boy this will be A Lot but this is basically everything I've either heard or learned:

Do things you enjoy, being normal and also open about your beliefs and eventually you will either gravitate towards the right woman or she will gravitate towards you. Be honest about what/who you are: you are a lesbian who does not believe a lesbian would ever have sex with men. Hang out with normal people and act not necessarily loud or outspoken but just honest if and when it comes up. But a big component is going to normal things. For example, since you don't like queerios, it's probably not a good idea to go to events where they congregate expecting to find that one other normal lesbian who's there hoping for the same thing. It's just not realistic because 9 times out of 10 people hang around people who are like them/share their beliefs. Especially in the current climate. Btw if youre into "not normal" things your search will be much harder tbh. Widen your chances of finding a normal woman by doing normal things as often as possible (ofc things you actually like/would like to try).

Also talk to anyone and everyone you can/want. This is the hardest if you are shy/introverted/anxious etc but it's the only way. Lesbians are ~1% of the population so you need to literally hunt for her. Your dating pool is limited but knowing what you like and not budging on your standards is admirable, not depressing. If you budge on your standards you'll find Something but it won't be what you like and you will have to accept that by either A) caving and compromising B) realizing this isnt for you and getting the fuck out lol."

"tell her to join a gym. normal lesbians love lifting."

"Being outspoken is essential. It's hard if you're shy or tend to be anxious around new people or when stating your opinions, but you won't find what you're looking for if you don't do it (or you might think you have, but as [name] said, two months in they introduce you to their TIM 'lesbian' bff).

It's not easy and not instantaneous, it is tedious and lonely most of the time, but you got to think that it's going to be worth it. Meanwhile, trying to at least befriend like-minded people (lesbians or not) is a nice thing to do, because it will allow you to expand your social circle in the right direction. Don't consider settling an option, and don't lower your standards, but be open-minded towards the type of woman you're looking for.

Try to find hobbies and join groups related to things you like doing that you'd like any future gf to share with you, and check out whether there's lesbian groups in your area involved in it (apparently that's easier if you lift laugh, but there's at least some lesbians with other hobbies) (ps, a ton of those lesbians will turn out to not be lesbians, but that doesn't mean it's applicable for 100% of them)

As for how depressing it is...yeah, we've all been there. It sucks, but unfortunately it's like that. We're too few and too spread out, but even then you're not alone in that loneliness."

"Piggybacking off what [name] said, let me emphasize that expanding your social circle is key ! It doesn't mean you have to become bffs with every single person you're ever within 2 feet of, it just means being friendly/polite/cordial/likeable enough to make connections with people which create options for more connections with more people and so on. Eventually you will ether meet a lesbian or meet someone who knows someone who knows someone who is a lesbian AND she will be perfect for you"

"My main advice is to for her to stay true to who she is and she will attract who fits and weed out who doesn’t. As long as she doesn’t pretend to believe in gender bullshit, her chances of having a gf that does is fairly low and it does increase her chances of finding one that agrees with her. It can be scary to think about, especially with how prevalent it is online and in some real world areas, but there will always be a woman that agrees with her. Getting out, having hobbies and connecting with people with similar interests also helps a lot."

hope this helps!

[onewomancitadel]

Man (or, woman in this case, I guess), I’ve been listening to a lot of AJR recently, and their “Burn The House Down” song just gives me the idea for an ArcFall AU/fic premise of an Arsonist!Cinder who managed to find her own way in life without the Madame or Salem has returned as an adult to burn down the Glass Unicorn, with Jaune (and maybe everyone else) there supporting her decision in destroying something that had so many bad memories (and also to keep her from actually hurting/killing anyone). They’re all gathered up in front of it, Cinder’s just looking at it in silence, Jaune puts a hand on her shoulder, and she tosses a lit molotov into it; cue romantic kiss in front of the inferno. I don’t know your preferences in music, this isn’t a prompt I want you to do, just a cool idea that I’m telling you that I dreamed up while doing some chores, one cultured ArcFall shipper to another. Hope you’re having a swell day/afternoon/evening(?) down there in Oz!

R/WBY and the shipnames can go in the fire, I thought we called it Knightfall.

I mean this sounds like you're having fun. I'm glad you're having fun, that's all I do on my blog. I daydream a lot doing housework too lol. I also looked up the music you suggested. My Cinder Fall playlist looks more like Grimes and Purity Ring lol. That or anything I could've conceivably downloaded from Limewire lol!!!

I find the focus on the Glass Unicorn stuff interesting because to my eyes there's functionally nothing different between her enslavement under Madame versus her enslavement under Salem. She has two masters, not two freedoms. I think that's why personally I'm more interested in how Cinder characterises her time under Salem to herself (Salem is kinder, Salem has motivation for her punishment and isn't just random, Salem is well-reasoned) and what that sort of mental state looks like as opposed to day after day after day of senseless, inhumane cruelty.

I also personally read Cinder's proclivity to arson from a perspective of regeneration. That is, if she is one to burn, it stems from the idea that things die and then are reborn. Or like those trees which propagate seed during bushfires, like euculyptuses. Great explosions when they do. I mean the duplicity of fire is really working with her and I really like it. So it is funny to recontextualise that in a relatively defanged context (e.g. arsonist teenager Cinder), but I don't personally resonate with burning down the Glass Unicorn, then again I'm a real stick in the mud about how different versions of the same story play out.

It is interesting to consider though, I just don't find the Glass Unicorn as interesting when all of the drama is happening with Salem. There is one story I'm working on where it comes into things, and I think in the end Cinder is entirely justified in what she metes out to her slavemaster.

I also think the problem doesn't end with Atlas once the Glass Unicorn is burnt down. It's the whole thing. So how do you fix that.

Cinder already took down Atlas in canon.

Atlas was personal!

The oppression she experienced was systemic to Atlas! That's why nobody stopped Madame. Every patron, every authority in charge overlooked what was happening. Even Rhodes was willing to say: well wait until you're seventeen, then I suppose you can become a Huntress.

I think that's probably why I don't personally resonate with the idea, but as-is in canon, Cinder does what she helps do to Atlas. That's the death and rebirth. That's Atlas' systemic issues (symbolically) dying, and the people being carried through and reborn in the womb of the Yellow Brick Road:

So yonic it's almost annoying lol.

Anyway... yes... thank you, I do appreciate hearing ideas even ones I don't necessarily oscillate with because it makes me think! :D And it's fun!

Merry shipping. Hope you're having a good day where you are too!

[frustratedpker]

Hi! I'm sorry these are translated but I have a couple of Italian parodies. I don't speak Italian so I just saved them for the pretty pictures, haha.. I have Hamlet and... Far from the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy FOR SOME REASON. I don't remember where I got them, it was ages ago, but if anyone is interested in reading them in Italian I can upload them to google drive and give you links? I also have The Maltese Falcon and Les Miserables in German. Let me know!

Hi!!

You have these? That’s great!! I’m sure many people would be interested and even willing to scanlate! People like you are the backbone of fandoms and every contribution counts!

Whether you want to upload them or not, it’s totally up to you. Once the stories are up I’m sure they will pick up interest.

I too have PDFs of italian stories (*cough* Jekyll and Hyde *cough*) which I’m contemplating to upload. The only reason I haven’t done it sooner is the credits. I downloaded them ages ago and I don’t even remember from where, so I totally get your concern.

To sum it up, yeah, I’m in favour of you uploading the stories if that’s alright with you. If you do it, send me the links and I’ll make sure to put them in the post! Who knows, maybe one day they will get scanlated!

[sage-nebula]

I hope you dont mind my asking, but wouldn't GF have decided to remove the national dex long before LGPE released? I can see those games selling well confirming to GF that "pokemon sell well regardless of cut features" but it feels strange to blame it on LGPE when the development time on the games would suggest they made this choice awhile ago. (Not to defend lgpe lack of content) Sorry if this is a bother, I just feel like I'm missing something and would really like to understand your reasoning

For almost any other game I would agree, however for Pokémon in particular:

The National Dex (insofar as the ability to transfer old pokémon over) was never going to be a Day One feature. It’s never a Day One feature in the first games of the generation. Even if they wanted to make it one, in this case they couldn’t because Home isn’t releasing until 2020. As I’ve said in other posts, if they wanted to patch in the NatDex, they’d have the time to do it. Technically speaking, they’d have the time to do it, especially since the fanbase would be willing to wait (even if there’d be a few whiners here or there) the extra time.

Since it’s not a Day One feature, it’s something that can be worked on later in the development cycle (/can even continue to be worked on after the development cycle, or at least it could be if this series were treated with the respect of, say, The Legend of Zelda series). Again, I’m not talking about DLC that’s already on the game card that needs to be activated later, I’m talking about DLC that’s patched in, content created after that you download either to the harddrive or (though I don’t know if Switch DLC works this way specifically) onto the game card itself. Given the type of content they generally want to show early in the release cycle (the general theme / concept of the games, scenes of the various areas in the region, new ‘mon), and the fact that this would be a feature added post-release anyway, we can make a safe bet that the NatDex is something they’d work on much later in the development cycle, possibly even in the last year since, again . . . they’d have that time if they wanted to use it (and if this series was treated with genuine respect).

The Let’s Go games were stated by Masuda to be the future of the franchise if they sold well. They featured a Pokédex that was limited to only the Kanto ‘Dex, plus Meltan and Melmetal. They released in November 2018, and indeed, they sold well. In early 2019 (February, IIRC) Sword & Shield were released. While of course I don’t work at Game Freak and thus can’t say for sure, I would place money on the idea that if they were even a bit on the fence about adding the National Dex, the fact that Let’s Go sold so well despite being limited to 153 ‘mon pushed them right over the edge to, “Cut the National Dex from Sword & Shield, there’s no point in working on it.” I mean, why should they expend the effort if people will buy the games anyway? Especially when President Ishihara went on record saying that long-time fans only cared about “new pokémon and features” around the time of Let’s Go’s release. Sure, they might have already been thinking about cutting the National Dex beforehand, but Let’s Go no doubt assured them that it was a safe and correct call to make.

So that’s what I mean when I say that Let’s Go’s positive sales figures sealed all of our fates. To be entirely honest, before the National Dex announcement, I was certain that we wouldn’t see the shockwaves from Let’s Go until Gen IX. But Sword & Shield having a limited ‘Dex just like Let’s Go, and having special feature ‘mon behind $60 paywalls like Let’s Go, and having core features stripped out like Let’s Go, and the fact that it’s starting to look frighteningly like the starters won’t be able to evolve like in Let’s Go . . . the effect is pretty apparent. Sure, some of this stuff was present even before Let’s Go (namely the whole “let’s ditch useful features in the name of simplifying things” tack that Masuda has been married to for years now), but in the wake of Let’s Go, it’s success, and what Masuda said would happen if it was successful, it’s really hard not to see the link.

(Note just in case anyone read too quickly: I’m not saying the starters WON’T evolve. I’m only saying that I’m starting to fear that’s the case since we’re less than a month away from release and we haven’t even seen second stage evolutions yet. Maybe they’re just trying to keep starter evolutions a surprise, that’s entirely possible, but it’s also highly suspect, and Game Freak destroyed any trust or good faith I had in them a while back.) 

As a final note, the reason why I say that the Pokémon games aren’t treated with respect is . . . well, there are a few reasons:

Game Freak stated themselves that they put their B Team on Sword & Shield while their A Team worked on Little Town Hero. They also said they wanted to create something, “as exciting, or perhaps even more exciting” than Pokémon. They’re tired of working on Pokémon, and it shows. Which, I mean, I get it, it’s been 20+ years, but in that case tell Nintendo so that they can shift the main games over to another studio. I get that Game Freak was created for the sole purpose of making Pokémon, and maybe Taijiri-san is pissed at how you’re disrespecting his baby (I would be), but for the good of the series, if you don’t want to work on it, give it to someone who does. Don’t just shift it onto your bare bones secondary dev team.

These games are in a hellish development cycle where a new one is popped out every year. Contrast this to The Legend of Zelda where, while we’ve had some anomalies where assets were able to be largely reused and so games came out only a couple years apart (see: Ocarina of Time to Majora’s Mask) --- even that had two or three years before releases, not one the very next year. Most mainline Zelda games spend five or six years in development. I’m fully aware that we will likely be waiting until something like 2022 for Breath of the Wild 2, and I am prepared to wait that time because I know the game we get will be incredible. Granted, I’m going to be dying every single time they announce a release date to push it back, but it’ll be a death I’m grateful for because I will know that the end product will be worth it. The Pokémon games used to have a similar luxury. While there were a grand total of five games released during that time (with “five games” being used loosely, given that one was a slight upgrade and the other four were really two games with slight differences between versions), Gen IV lasted for a grand total of four years. We had Diamond & Pearl in 2006, Platinum in 2008, HeartGold & SoulSilver in 2009, and then finally, Black & White in 2010. By contrast, Gen VII didn’t even last three years, technically. I mean, this November would be its third anniversary, but that’s when Gen VIII officially starts instead. To be fair, it could be argued that Gen IV didn’t have a full four years since it came out in September 2006, and Gen V came out in September 2010. But even if you make that argument, it still had a full year on Gen VII, and to be honest, that showed. The Sinnoh games are far and away not my faves, but they were still full of content. HeartGold & SoulSilver are often considered to be the best remakes in the entire franchise, and considering the content that was cut from OmegaRuby & AlphaSapphire and Masuda’s reasoning for why that content was cut, I can’t exactly argue with that even though I did genuinely enjoy ORAS. And the games that Gen IV ushered in? Controversial opinion, but I think that the Pokémon games peaked with Gen V. Black & White not only initially had a ‘dex that was nothing but new pokémon (and yet STILL included the Nat Dex later, because in Masuda’s own words he felt it cruel to keep people from playing with their faves forever!), but it also introduced a METRIC TON of new mechanics, some of which we no longer get to use (Rotation Battles? Game Freak doesn’t know her). Who knows what exactly Game Freak did with that extra year, but it was clearly a lot of work given how wonderful the games were in Gen IV and Gen V. The extra dev time showed.By contrast, Gen VII got 2.5 years (or 3 if you’re being generous). Every single game released during this gen had massive content cuts, even when comparing to Gen VI, which also had massive content cuts. Mechanics were stripped away, and Ultra Sun & Ultra Moon technically didn’t have a NatDex either, but at least you could still have all of your ‘mon in them at a later date if you wanted to. Now with Sword & Shield, we don’t even have that, despite the Switch being far more powerful than the 3DS. (We also don’t have Mega Evolution for whatever godforsaken reason, even though the Kanto Mega Evolutions at the very least were already used in Let’s Go, the fuck, Game Freak). Pokémon games print money and always have, and Game Freak has taken this and their lack of interest in the series to the depressing but I suppose logical extreme of “do whatever and they’ll buy it anyway.” There’s no love here, there’s no respect here. They just don’t care anymore, and as someone who does care an awful lot, it’s super upsetting to me.

And while people have tried to argue that the games can’t be delayed because of the anime or the card game or whatever else:

The games come first. They’ve always come first. I know some people mistakenly think that the anime came first and that the games were created later, but that is 100% false. Pokémon started as a game series and the anime was created to advertise the games, straight up.

Filler episodes exist, and the PokéAni is no stranger to them. The Orange Islands arc was an entire arc of filler created to pad time between Gens I and II. The Delacora Islands (or whatever they were called) was a filler arc meant to pad time between Gens V and VI. Arguably the majority of the Sun & Moon anime was filler, given its slice-of-life genre, meaning the anime was even less of an excuse not to delay Sword & Shield. You can’t tell me people wouldn’t have been happy with another year of the Alola crew running around getting into random adventures. People would have eaten that up and loved it. We could have had it all.

I’m not even going to dignify “but the card game” with a response lmao. This isn’t Yu-Gi-Oh!. Sure, the card game makes money, and probably a decent amount of it (merch sales probably make up the franchise’s greatest source of income, and as someone who easily spent several hundred dollars in two weeks at the PokéCenters in Japan---including over $100 in one trip to a PokéCenter while I was there, and we went multiple times---I am a big part of that), but they come up with bullshit new expansions all the time and could easily keep doing it. Again, not a reason to delay the games if the games need more time in development.

So all in all, at the end of the day, Game Freak is no longer treating these games with love and respect, which makes them an awful lot like the villains in the games they create. The Let’s Go games were harbingers of disaster for the games, and we were told this very plainly, and just about no one listened. In fact, I legitimately lost friendships with people who got mad at me for making Facebook statuses about how they should buy Let’s Go used if they absolutely had to have them because how DARE I believe Ishihara when he said that Let’s Go were considered core titles, and how DARE I believe Masuda when he said that Let’s Go would usher in the last twenty years of the franchise. Clearly, I was just being an ugly bitch. (I wish I was exaggerating, but this actually happened, I got blocked over it, it was ridiculous.) And now here we are as a result, with no hope of things getting better unless Nintendo forcibly rips Pokémon out of Game Freak’s hands, which I don’t even think they can legally do given that they only own 1/3rd of the IP. (The other 2/3rds belong to Game Freak and Creatures Inc., as I understand it.) 

TL;DR:

Pokémon is still my favorite fictional fantasy world, but as someone who has always loved the games first and foremost, the current state of it depresses me to no end.

[justin-chapmanswers]

I'm helping my (internet) friends make an object show, and I'm unfortunately not that confident about it, as we're all under 18 and don't have the money to really afford good quality mics or animation software. I'm wondering if you have any tips for people on a budget trying to make an object show for the first time?

Working under a tight budget is tough, that’s undeniable. I think the important thing to keep in mind is that having expensive utilities available does not guarantee success in the first place, it simply makes the process easier. Having the best equipment and software in the world isn’t going to do all that much for people who aren’t familiar with the basics in the first place. If you are incredibly passionate about this work, I would consider investing your money into equipment over time, but for the time-being take your time in that department and really focus in on proving that, as artists, you can make do with what you have.

I am far more interested in consuming media that is bare-bones in its visual and audio presentation but has masterful storytelling than the reverse, and I think much more of your potential audience will agree than the average person assumes. Know your story. Know your characters. Whether or not you will have full control over when your characters come and go (per your decision), it is imperative that you treat each and every installment as its own distinct collection of story and character arcs. If you set up your show in a manner in which you can play every detail out ahead of time, even better! Within an episode, an arc of episodes, or a full season/series you are able to construct interesting narratives in which characters are given obstacles: physical, emotional or otherwise. Especially in an object show you are given a set of obstacles, be it through challenges or the emotional burden of competition. On a budget or not, this is the heart of your show. No matter how the technical presentation comes across you can garner and audience through excellent storytelling. Anyone can do it with practice. ESPECIALLY you!

As for the technical department, itself, let’s talk audio. Back in early 2009 I picked up a ‘lil $10 Logitech microphone at Target and got started on my first voice performance (as Lakitu found here) and I wouldn’t say it’s all that bad. A little bad. Tiny bit. But it worked! Plug in a cheap mic, download Audacity for free, and you’re already well on your way. Audacity isn’t top-of-the-line, but as far as free programs go it works really well, and is probably your lowest priority for upgrading beyond if you choose to bump up your equipment/software. The focus here comes down to putting in a strong, meaningful performance as your character, working around your mic limitations through setup and Audacity editing, and being open to re-recording. It happens!

I’m going to skip over talking vocal performances for the time being (I can always return to that upon request) and stick the practical here. With any microphone set up you’re going to want to do as much as you can to keep your accosting integrity in good standing. What I mean by that, firstly, is recording in a location that absorbs noise. Typically being in echo-y locations, we’re trained to ignore our own voices reverberating (unless it is to an intense extent), so sometimes noticing whether a voice echoes in a recording takes a lot of focus. It’s often not as intense as an echo you’d hear in, say, a cave, just ever so slight to break the illusion of a character being right there on screen and not someone speaking through a microphone. This is solved low-budget quite simply in recording in tight spaces with as much sound-absorbing material as possible. The best option would be hanging up clothes, blankets, or simply recording in a closet- so long as it’s safe. (The higher-budget alternative is buying acoustic foam or utilizing, specifically, a sound booth.) Watch your recording program, find your balance of recording as loudly and clearly as you can while also not getting too close to your audio peaking (the little soundy wave bois not hitting the top/bottom of your recording strip pal). The audio can be made louder or softer later, but peaking is much tougher to fix back up.

It also helps to have any sort of make-shift pop filter you can get together. They’re foam or a screen that you can typically buy cheap that will catch some of the plosives and other weird noises your mouth makes without you noticing before they hit the microphone, which is very helpful in the longterm. And, if you don’t feel like buying them, I know Adam used a sock for a while early on and it worked just fine. Just throw that boi right over the microphone and listen back to how the quality changes. If it’s roughly the same, you’re in the clear for your early, low-budget project.

There’s also plenty that can be done in Audacity to set your audio apart from the rest. I’d say top priority is dealing with background noise. I’m not speaking to parents chatting or the house’s floorboards mysteriously creaking in the background (because that should not be heard whatsoever in your area of recording, listen back to a dialogue-less track of your audio to make sure none of that is coming through), here I am talking to the consistent track of buzzzzz or variation that will come across in any cheaper microphone. The world makes noise, some you can’t hear, and your microphone eats it up. It’ll be in the back of your recording track, and getting rid of it goes a long way. Here the simplest means of going about fixing that is to, at the very start or end of your recording session, record a solid fifteen seconds of background noise without aaaaany noises on your part. Listen back, grab just the few seconds of bg noise that has the most consistent sound without your breathing or other interference, go to effects and hit “noise reduction” (or “noise removal” in other versions), hit “get noise profile,” now highlight eeeeeverything you’ve recorded, go back to “noise removal,” start by setting your noise reduction to around 10-15, and hit “okay.” Listen back and see if that did the job, you may need to make the number a bit higher (I try my best to avoid the 20s). The job here is to use as little of it as possible to get the job done, as the more you use the more of a chance it has at diminishing the quality of your recording. You can also use “equalization” in this process, lowering or boosting very specific frequencies, if you are willing to experiment and get a feel for it. Some others use “compression” to get a much fuller-sounding voice, although if anything I keep this to a minimum and save it more-so for non-narrative pieces where a single voice needs to be dominant.

In the case of audio peaking, clipping, or any plosives/pops/background sounds coming through, you have to be comfortable with re-recording. Going back into your recording spot for a minute goes a long way for a product that you’ll be putting up alone for a forever. This also goes for potentially going in for a strong performance, but that is more subjective and up to a standard you must set, yourself. After that it is your job to bring all the audio from all characters together and balance all of them out neatly volume-wise, pace the recordings out, add in sound effects and music as necessary and balance them out too (a common mistake is making music too loud for the audience to understand what the characters are saying because the sound editor already knows what the characters are saying, so there’s a disconnect). With enough time you will have an excellent audio skeleton for your animation, even with a low budget.

I’ll be honest in that I am much less experienced in animation than I am in audio so I cannot offer all the advice in the world, but here’s what I can say. With the technology available today you are able to create a lot of striking imagery. Whether you use a cheap animation program (do people still use Anime Studio?), Powerpoint, or a more typical program acquired through illegal means (which I would not say here that I condone, but I am aware it happens and people do what people do), there is no stopping you from coming up with unique visuals. I think in the object show community people get pretty caught up in keeping up standard animation conventions, simply making smooth motions and a good frame-rate and making sure everything looks “professional.” That is a luxury, and especially when you are starting out it is far from necessary.

What you want when you are starting out are visuals that are striking. Creative. Memorable. You’re working in animation, the most fluid and fun medium out there! You can spend all day getting bogged down in the basics of movement, which can be important down the line, but what is unique to you is the style that you bring to the table. Make characters do what only animated characters can do. Make characters pose in ways that people can think back on in wonder. As an object show, think of challenges that make characters do the absurd or push them to physical limits. Inanimate Insanity does not get to hit on this often but it is something I value in animation. You can impress people with or without the best animation program in town, it’s just more trying. But far more rewarding.

So much of the magic of object show community is that it works as a training grounds. Create create create! This is the time to do the weird and meaningful things that you might not have an opportunity to create far down the line when responsibilities get in the way. It doesn’t matter in the slightest if your work is perfect, so long as you are creating something and getting it out there and, above all, expressing yourself- I am impressed.

I know that most of this has been more to general show production and not more specifically to object show production, but I think it is important to note that it does work the same as any other show. People will always appreciate good, strong stories, as well as the bare minimum put into your audio and visuals. Effort means the world.

You got this.