#I'm whining again...sorry

[alex-guerin]

I had a Death Wish when I left for work today. I was backing out of the driveway and saw something hanging from our little garden flag. I had noticed it last night when I got home but thought it was something Coonhound related (we have 3 and my mom is obsessed with them so....). So, I hadn't thought anything of it.

Then I saw it...a flag with Trump's mugshot on an old fashioned wanted poster saying, "WANTED FOR PRESIDENT" I slammed on my breaks, threw my Jeep in park, got out and ripped it off it's little flag pole so fast I'm surprised nothing ripped or broke. I crumpled it up and threw it on the floor of the front seat and left for work. Got to work and took this ransom photo

Which I then proceeded to send to my mom along with this message

Now, I admit, I probably should have phrased some things differently, and I probably should have left out the swearing, and waited until I cooled down a bit before texting her,but every time I saw that damned flag, I'd just get pissed off all over again, so I gave no fucks and did it anyway.

Unfortunately, my mother had a reply of her own.

I left her on Read.

Now, nowhere did I happen to mention God or religion when I texted her. So where did this rant about God come from? And secondly, me going to college was HER idea. I did not WANT to go to college and be up to my eyeballs in debt. I couldn't think of anything that interested me enough to want to get a degree in that would make me any money. This didn't matter to her. She didn't care if I, and I quote, "get a degree in Underwater Basket Weaving! Just get a degree in SOMETHING!" so that I wouldn't end up working in a warehouse like she had for so many years.

Well. Oops? Looks like that backfired on her and now she's mad cuz I'm working in a warehouse and I have a different view of things from her. Both her fault.

Anyway, I digress.

When I got home, this took place...

I walked in the door, said hi to the dogs, gave Goose his medicine and went to go upstairs...

Mom: WHERE is my flag?

Me: *having folded it up respectfully instead of throwing it out in the garbage at work like I wanted to* Under the cookies I brought home on the counter.

Mom: Good! It better be.

Me: *walking behind her at her computer to get to the stairs, rolling my eyes and trying not to let out an audible sigh of resignation. Get to the stairs...*

Mom: And I do NOT appreciate you infringing on MY First Amendment Rights! This is the SECOND TIME you've done it to me, and it's going to stop!

Me: *under my breath, pretending not to have heard her* Ah yes. Good ol' Freedom of Speech. The only one the Trumpers know, and they are the only ones allowed to exercise it...

Now, dear well-meaning friends...please do not tell me I need to get out of this house (I already know this, I've known for a while, keep walking please), that I do not HAVE to stay here (will you find me a cheap apartment that will let me keep my cats and is close to work...), believe me when I say...no fucking shit. However, as already stated, it's very difficult to find apartments less than 40 minutes from my job that will let me have my boys. Believe me, I have looked. And the ones that WILL allow my boys, want a stupid amount of rent.

For those who fear my mother my throw me out...valid, I sometimes fear that myself. Then I remember, oh yeah, I pay my dad $440/month in "rent", which is literally half the mortgage payment. So even though my mom refuses to admit that I pay half the mortgage, and even though my name is nowhere on the mortgage paperwork, I am literally paying half the mortgage, and without my "rent" money...they wouldn't be able to make their mortgage payments. So they need me to stay so they don't risk losing the house. Thus, she won't kick me out.

I seem to have this knack for pissing her off. We butt heads on so many things, and I think part of what makes her so mad is that in the last few years, I've finally started trying to stand up for myself and not let her try to dictate my life for me. I'm not the timid little six year old who hangs off her every word and never questions anything, just blindly does what they're told. I have my own views. My own beliefs. My own opinions. And I don't think she likes that.

And what's worse, she likes to remind me that I'm just like my father...and I honestly can't remember the last time she had anything good or positive to say about him. I actually don't think I have EVER heard her truly say anything good or positive about him. She's always bitching to me about him. I think she also forgets I am half her DNA also. So like, I got her stubbornness and being ornery and independent streak.

😮‍💨 Sorry. I know people avoid RL Blogging and it's annoying to see someone whining about their life. I just needed to get it off my chest.

[cicerfics]

Q killing someone to protect Bond is something that can be so personal actually.

[demodraws0606]

People complaining about Tsukasa5 already are pissing me off, because like, it's so unbelievably obvious what this event is trying to do and the fact that people are so hung up on "urgh dur tsukasa strong why can't he do a wall climb".

Like, first of all, a lot of Tsukasa's strength has been used as comedy before and also it's never been said that Tsukasa could specifically do a wall climb before so people calling this a retcon or a stretch is really dumb to me.

Sure we can make jokes about it, but this is not like a serious writing problem or anything.

Also are we just gonna ignore the fact this event is literally just a reference to his 3rd event in a silly trenchcoat. Or the fact that this is obviously meant to be WxS's downtime and training arc to prepare them to face the loose plotpoints in the future?

His inner dialogue when chasing the ninja is very clearly a reference to the whole Pheonix thing, how he can't reach it no matter how hard he tries.

The wall climb is like an extremely fucking on the nose metaphor to him climbing over his issues as an actor.

THERE IS ALSO THE WHOLE THING THAT HINTS THAT TSUKASA CAN ONLY OVERCOME HIS PROBLEMS IF HE HAS HELP FROM OTHERS (AKA tsukasa would've literally BEEN INJURED, if it wasn't for the fact the troupe's leader was there).

In fact this literally followed an event aka Tsukasa 4 where he FAILED to do his role correctly.

It's almost like this event is meant to be a transition point between Tsukasa 4 and 6, where Tsukasa builds up the knwoledge on how to face his problems.

But no this is just mid event because it's very silly and "wow plot is stupid why can't tsukasa wall climb".

WxS fans are slowly just turning into VBS fans in terms of how whiney they're being i swear

[sodaneko]

combed out my hair and realized it's almost waist length again... i feel my powers returning......

[nyxypoo]

i think. endo gets ur name tatted on his lower back and doesn't tell u so u don't find out until he's like. face down ass up

[ladyinthebluebox]

good god if 5 penis options in CC (one that in many other regads is insanely limiting) and a flash of penis on screen during gameplay is the bar for for praise for some of you...

[skibasyndrome]

I sat down today explicitly so I could work through my emails but then they had to send me a BUNCH MORE EMAILS and now I'm like :/// I don't wanna anymore

[teddybeartoji]

me whining abt the tlou show blabla spoilers

FOR STARTERSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS i have not actually seen the full eps simply bc i do not . want to watch them but i will complain abt stuff i've seen from clips anyway so if that bothers you just don't fucking read lmao AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND this is mostly just wordvomit so idk how much sense anything will make rip

1. hate abby's casting . hate it despise it loathe it etcetc etc overall i agree that they should not cast ppl based on looks BUT if in the game abby is a big buff very muscular tall woman and they casted a fucking 5'2 petite little actress to play her . isn't that a little weird hm isn't it a little fucking odd hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

for referance😁😁😁😁😁😁

in the game she is intimidating she is PUNCHING the infected (just like joel btwwwww) in just about every flashback we get with her she talks about training about how she can't be fucking around how she can't miss training her being built like this represents the anger she is literally driven by revenge and ppl are really saying it's not that deep . well it IS that deep actually fuck you

in addition i just wanted to see a big buff woman on the screen . i think it's fucking weird they casted some short very lean woman to play her. i wanted to see her in that sleeveless shirt i wanted to see her abs and i do not mean that in a lip bite emoji way i just want to see more muscular women on the screen alright I LOVE YOU BIG BUFF WOMEN I WOULD KILL FOR YOU I WOULD DIE FOR YOUUU

in addition part two you know i love linking clips so here is one of abby beating the shit out of some infected<33333333333

anyway i am an abby lover i am an abby truther do not ask who my favourite character is bc i might give you an answer that will upset YOU okay i will continue to be upset over this casting i think the ppl of hbo are a bunch of pussies for not casting someone bigger as her

hmm also they made her like brattier and whinier???????????? i really liked how in the game she comes off as kind of blunt and perhaps a little cold mmmmmmmmm to put it shortly i think it's very obvious they were afraid of the real abby so they just opted for male gaze abby or whatever the fuck the kids say these days

2. hate how they seem to be handfeeding EVERYTHING to the viewers . like whyyyyyy did abby immediately fucking say what the plan was???????????? in the game you just get to play as her and it's confusing as fuck bc you have just about no idea who she is lmao

to me personally . it did seem logical that she was supposed to be the enemy bc idk Logic like why else are we playing as her i did immediately assume that they might be fireflies bc that's what the fucking game is about that was the biggest thing that happened in the first game lmao

anyway . and then you're in the cabin and everything goes down and abby doesn't really say anything. joel asks 'who are you' and abby just goes 'guess' and it's enough. it's more than enough really. if you can use your brain that is. and i saw ppl saying that OOOHHH but the media forms are different the game is 30h long and the series is bla bla bla i still don't see why they had to spoil that????? god forbid your viewers are forced to use their own heads to figure out what joel might have POSSIBLY done to deserve that lmao

why not do flashbacks like they did in the game?????? why not go by the oldest fucking rule in the book you know the good old show not tell like WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY is abby there crying about 'yeah and one of them was my dad' why are you forcing the lore down my fucking throat rn JUST SHOW IT TO MEEEEEEEEEEE what could be more important than them showing the zebra saving scene</33333333333 i cannot imagine what could be more important than the reveal of abby's dad being THE doctor . they're obviously going to cut stuff out and since we already know that why would they keep it yk? idk i just think it's very stupid lmao it's very.. boring .

abby trying to do a full on villain monologue was ridiculous the writing is so fucking BADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD i hate it

3. this is abt the first season actually but uh the amount of continuity errors i saw when i watched it:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD bro please get a fucking grip you are supposed to have ppl who's literal job is to make sure that everything looks right aaaaaaaaand i am sorry to say that everything did not . in fact look right

4. actually i have another s1 or well . an overall thing i am not a fan of the decision of removing the spores. i always thought the entire idea of spores was very cool it's not smth you see all that often yk? the characters have to always have their masks with them they can't just waltz into buildings without checking for growths on the walls they have to make sure the air is clean or else they'll just get infected and then the showmakers were just like ok well . let's scrap that COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLL

i do hope that their decision to do so wasn't just bc they're afraid of making their big name actors wear masks lmao

5. they fully skipped the weed basement + rate the kiss scene . die

6. tommy not being at the cabin with joel L truly believe that they didn't have him there just bc tommy and joel could've taken the whole wlf team out on their own lmao they look like a bunch of kids

7. abby mentioning joel being handsome not once but TWICE . sorry to be that guy but she would not fucking say that lmao even as a joke even in a sarcastic way she simply would not say that👍👍👍👍

8. circling back to abby bc apparently i have more to say i just cannot take her seriously at all . i can't imagine the theater fight i can't imagine it being anything serious either ngl even though i don't think bella looks all that tough either i still think that their ellie could EASILY take on this itty bitty abby and that is just.. not right lmao

she is not scary at all and i just.. i'm very disappointed lmao abby is one of my favourite characters ever methinks i love her sooo so so much and i hateeee seeing them do her so dirty pleaseeeeeeeeee

anyway bla bla bla i think this is all for now feels very good to let it out there is probably another few hundred things i need to mention i am just a goldfish okay . please go and play the game orrr watch a gameplay then you will Understand me and my frustrations a little better.. i love you abby i love you tlou i am sorry your own creator is treating you this way

[siratonin]

Sometimes I think, "God, this is so ugly" while writing fics, but then I remember.. I'm writing in my 4th language, which I taught myself..... Gurl, it's enough if you understand it. I'm not trying to break some records 💀

I do read everything i write—no matter how small or big it is—at least 10 times before posting it, so that's part of the reason i end up hating things i write (when i read it after a while i feel better about them hehe).. but honestly, i feel dramatic about saying this almost every time i post something 😂

[isfjmel-phleg]

😶

[pendulouspuppyudders]

there is something to be said abt being born in america and knowing your existence and life is propped up by horrors committed by men you've never met hurting people around the world but then that life being that of poverty and marginalization so you don't even get the chance to do anything about it but flee the country and that's if you're lucky

[ilkkawhat]

Listen, I don’t know what other personal struggles you’re dealing with, but it definitely does sound like burnout and stress disorder could be an issue.

And speaking as someone who has been out of commission for a long while due to exactly that, therapy really does help. You can even find therapists specialised in occupational psychology if you most of all just want to address your work situation and are not ready or willing to touch the underlying stuff.

That kind of therapy isn’t necessarily about learning to love and forgive yourself, but how to get a handle on how you react in work situations and managing expectations and stressors.

i would argue that 90% of my problems right now are work related so maybe that something i'll look into...i honestly didn't even realize that was like. a thing? one of my cousins seemed like he was willing to kinda be that pseudo-therapist for me but i worry i fucked something up cause we haven't met in a bit (not since he went on his vacation and idk i hope i didn't piss him off when i tried to change a bandage on his dog like maybe i didn't do it right etc) and unfortunately i haven't had a chance to fully follow his advice (another me problem) that might help me too...the burnout i do think is 100% true and unfortunately my next time off isn't until the end of may (because of my vacay earlier this year and the two i have planned i legit only have one vacation day left fuck me) and maybe it is some sort of stess disorder cause when i think back to my other jobs i've had...while i was never at the point where i came home crying almost every day this job specifically has just like. been nothing but stress, i don't think i've ever felt relaxed, i worry i'm gonna get fired over every mistake or otherwise idk punished somehow? even though that never happens and i think my social anxiety is a bit tied to it too, like at least once a week i feel like my boss is mad at me cause it's hard to interpret text language sometimes cause we IM each other a lot even though then i'll like face to face talk to her later and it'll be like nothing happend? which then just furthers my thinking it's all me and idk what happened to me in the past to make me just so terrified of anybody talking to me in a stern tone or showing vague upset/dislike towards me?

anyway. i appreciate the advice...again something i have to take seriously and try again

[ofgain]

Ugh.. They haven't received my referral and it probably won't be until a couple more days until they can set an appointment. I hope it's soon because last night really freaked me out ;A; I don't like struggling to breathe..

[direwombat]

been taking a bit of a writing break in order to work on crocheting a gift for someone but once that's done i should hopefully be back at it

[randomseacucumber]

Uggggg, I wish I had time to take a nap before my next class.

[ilkkawhat]

another....fuckin......work text.........................please someone stop this