#I'm well aware that this won't get many likes. thats just how it is in this bitch of a world

[popillia]

Ojisan napping with his two weird dogs

[bitchimasnake-sss]

"my girlfriend's a nerd" ft. the monster trio!

self explanatory self-indulgent drabbles to soothe my book!loving ass

ft. luffy, zoro and sanji x fem! reader set-up: you like books, he likes you that's it warnings: none lmao this is very sfw. one might call it wholesome even. m.list

luffy:

thats my baby ^^

— im not even sure if this mf can read 😭😭

— honestly 9/10 chance he can't but when has that ever stopped him from being our most supportive himbo king

— go king give us everything!!

— he doesn't get why you read books when instead you can be like sleeping or eating or looking at the sea but well, he doesn't question it

— he just thinks it's a weird hobby you have (i don't think he's aware of how freakishly illiterate he is)

— but just cause he thinks it's weird that doesn't mean he wouldn't hug you half-asleep when he hears you sobbing into the dead of the night or he wouldn't listen with keen interest when you explain the plot of your favourite book as he wraps his arms around you and hums into your hair

— will 100% offer to fight the author/ tear up the book everytime he sees you having a breakdown over a particular scene/character

"who should I kill?!" the deadpan seriousness in his voice is what terrifies you

"nobody! I'm okay–"

— after you explain to him that hurting somebody is not necessary and you're fine, he will try to coddle you with extended hugs and food (lots and lots and lots of food).

"yn you should eat something! should I get you something to eat??" you can hear the panic in this poor boys voice 😭😭

"no luffy, its okay. im fine!" you say through sniffs and snorts, eyes bloodshot from crying over ink on paper

"brb" and he gets you dinner enough for 5 people because that's how he knows to comfort you (willingly took sanjis kicks and namis punches to accomplish this mission)

— since he's a clingy little child, he will hold onto you some way or the other when you're reading

— you're reading in your room while he's fast asleep? his arm is draped across your waist lazily. you're on the other side of the deck, sunbathing and reading? his hand is stretched out from where he's sitting and on your thigh (ussop tripped thrice over his hand, rip god ussop 🙏) . you're reading during breakfast cause the book just got so good? his toe is rubbing your calf up and down periodically (he won't stop no matter how many weird looks you give him)

— conclusion: he doesn't at all get it what it is, but if it makes you happy he will spend all the berries in the world to buy you those books (plz know if you actually ask him to jokingly off an author for killing your favourite character, he will do it. please don't ask him that.)

— he's just so supportive and nice 😭😭

"my girlfriends a nerd, I love her" (ussop explained to him what a nerd was and now he's introducing you like this to everybody)

zoro:

the shades tho 😎

— I'm convinced this mf can't read either

— even he can there's like literally no evidence to prove it and the entire crew has come to the conclusion that he gets lost even with clear directions because he just can't read please 😌👌

— at the start, he actually thinks it's dead stupid to invest so much time reading books when you can do other stuff like getting stronger, sleeping, literally doing anything else (luffy backs up his opinion with full enthusiasm)

— i mean like he's seen you sob at 7 in the morning over breakfast cause your fav character died and now he's confused as to why are you spending money and buying books if they make you cry so hard (he doesn't understand the concept of angst im afraid)

— but over time he just accepts it as something you enjoy and well, if it makes you happy then who is he to question it?

— acts like he doesn't care/isn't listening when you're rambling about the plot and how thE MAIN CHARACTER IS IN LOVE WITH HIS ENEMY AND VICE VERSA SKEJFHSJKSN but is actually fully listening

— he's actually invested at one point

"but they are enemies? why does he wanna be with him?"

"you don't get it! thats the appeal!!"

"the appeal is forcing a knife on somebody's throat?" he's laughing, "as if you'd enjoy it if i threatened you with my swords"

"... i would actually enjoy that"

he is now asking nami for loan to send you to a therapist (nami has seen you nosebleed over fictional characters and is considering giving money away to zoro for free. you really do need help.)

— as I said, he's invested now (although he does question your taste every now and then) but he'd force you to either summarize the plot to him as he trains or read out loud so he can hear the story as it goes.

— so naturally you're now sitting on his back, reading out loud as he does push-ups

— this beloved himbo has now formed strong opinions about characters and will battle you with headcanons because "there's no fucking way the hero would ever go back to the villain after that! that's ridiculous! if he does I'll sell my swords off."

— will remember the stuff you told him, no matter how trivial, so if you get off an island and he spots a keychain from your fav book series he's spending whatever money he has left to buy you it

"oh excellent choice! who are you buying it for?" the shopkeeper lady questions aloud

"oh, my girlfriend." he's smiling, "my girlfriends a nerd."

— actually looks forward to you telling him all the plot details and jokes at this point (one might call him a part of the fandom now)

— when you're a crying, sobbing mess because a character died, he's genuinely comforting you (no matter how bad he is at it)

"yn it's okay, you want some sake?" he is hugging you, patting your head like you're a child

"no 😭😭" you sob harder into his chest

"well... that's the best i can offer"

he tried. it's not his fault you don't wanna drink your feelings away.

— conclusion: he started off thinking its stupid and now he's an honorary nerd. would never admit it though. stubborn asshole.

sanji:

he's actually so pretty tho ^^

— he actually liked reading books before you even joined the crew although his tbr consists of cookbooks and auto-biographies about the people he has some interest in

— he started reading so that he could impress zeff with his knowledge on cooking and other miscellaneous stuff (imagine kid!sanji reading a book till late night under a lamp cause he wants to impress his old man that's so cute 😭😭)

— respects your hobbies when he finds out you like reading

— and then he sees your book collection. whY ARE THERE LIKE 5000 BOOKS HERE?! NOW HES SCARED FOR YOUR SANITY CAUSE GIRL WTF

— he hears you recommend a book to robin/nami once and now he's running to the nearest bookstore on the next island you guys land on to buy it

— he obviously did it to impress you and win you over but goddamn that book was actually pretty nice. so, the next time he asks you for recommendations he's actually a bit sincere

— now you're both in a book club of your own (which makes luffy mad cause why are you leaving him out of conversations :/)

— like zoro, he often asks for updates on the book you're currently reading while he cooks everyone food. he loves hearing you talk about the things you like.

— when he sees you crying over books, he is making you sweet stuff to soothe you, holding you and rubbing your back supportingly, peppering kisses to make you feel better

— he's so fine 😫😫

— anyways, also def the kind of person to ask you to roleplay things in real life

"yn-saaaan" his voice is bubbly, "can i ask you something?"

"mhm?"

"the last book you read–" his face is going a little bit red, "you think we can maybe... do that irl?"

now it's your turn to go red

— but no fr, he's so so supportive of your little hobby like yes baby! read those books and have fun imagining people in your head

— 100% matches your vibe when you crush on fictional characters cause "you're right. he is actually very attractive" (a bi king we love)

— once zoro made fun of you for reading and this was his response: "you can't even read, mosshead. the next time you speak shit I'll kick your ass."

"who said I CANT READ? AND AS IF ILL LET YOU KICK MY ASS!"

"I TOTALLY WILL KICK YOUR ASS"

now they are fighting while ussop, luffy and chopper laugh in the background

— but yes he loves staying up late, reading with you before you both cuddle and fall asleep

— you once read about a specific sort of dish in a book and mentioned that it sounds delicious so now obviously he has to go make that dish. it doesn't matter if it's 1 am at night.

— when nami asks him what he's cooking, he just smiles and shrugs, "i dunno either, im just trying to make yn happy. she's such a nerd"

— conclusion: an enabler, an enthusiast. this man is ready to buy you books and then read them if it makes you happy. only the finest for his favourite lady <3

a/n: enjoy my wayward thoughts about these fine men! m.list

[shinjisdone]

Sweet Things Thorfinn Would Do For You On Your Period

A little edit kind of 'requested' for another female/afab scenario. TW: Periods, mention of pms, bleeding, blood, mentioning pregnancy once, throwing up, passing out, general pain

The concept of having one's period was mentioned and I wanted to do some research before writing anything considering the story is Based on real history.

Now...things wouldn't be easy when it comes to you being part of Askeladd's band.

The men may be dumber than a sack of hammers but they do know what a period is and also know you will get it once a month. I'm pretty sure Thorfinn is aware too.

In fact, if you don't get it (or soak it up rather successfully) there will be a lot of 'Huh's?' Hey, it's been a while and you don't look like you've had your abdomen stabbed, ain't it time? You sure you're okay?

They know you HAVE to bleed. It aint healthy if you don't! (Unless of course...you are pregnant. Many will side eye Thorfinn before you yell out that you are bleeding, idiots. You are just not letting it ruin your clothes).

As mentioned, Thorfinn is aware too but won't immediately notice anything. Rather he'd have a small heart attack if he sees any blood on you before the logical thought of 'period' enters his mind right after and he calms down. If you go into the bushes for the fourth time today, he'd raise a brow and his concerns before going 'Oh.' right after.

Will just let you do what you need to do. He'd keep watch if you are in the bushes or lake and when you hiss in pain, he'd ask if you are okay.

He tends to be a bit more attentive but that's about it. To him all it means you'll have to deal with it for an amount of time. He himself doesn't know how to deal with it either.

Which can be a problem when you do need help. You could have profuse pain and blood (which WILL scare Thorfinn. He knows it can be normal but the way you are suffering and the amount of blood still makes him a bit uneasy) and all he knows is that cloths can be helpful. He'll get some, make some himself or in some cases, will even steal some during raids of the other vikings.

Thorfinn doesn't raid at all. All he needs are essential things which he can easily get himself. So imagine him there in an hut he saw a woman eacape from and explore each nook and cranny for some clean cloths. He prefers not to think about the original owners - you need it and thats important.

If you met at an early age, he would have done so as well, especially in the beginning.

Unfortunately, that seems to be the only thing he can do for you. He cant help when it comes to pain, which also comes in many variations.

When your clutching your stomach hard and can't get up, the blonde panics a little. He hoists you up on his back, piggy-back style, and carries you wherever you need to go. You may complain that he could get blood on him but he doesn't mind and tells you so. When you say you really can't stand straight, Thorfinn? panics? A bit? More? Whaddya mean you can't even stand straight? Bro, you're scaring him.

He'd be extra careful not to...bend or...whatever else could happen that causes you pain while he carries you.

But when you straight up throw up on the rails of the ship? Nuh-uh, you cannot convince him that can happen.

Startled a bit before rubbing your back. He holds your hair as well and just...prays that is a one-time thing. Like, what is happening inside your body?

He offers you his share of food, telling you to shut up and eat. No, it's fine, you can have it. Surely it has to be of help after you vomitted your entire lunch out.

And if you REALLY want to scare him to death, it happens when you might pass out.

What are you doing PASSING OUT?!

Thorfinn won't ever yell or scream or be demeaning to you because of your period ever, but he cannot help the confusion and fear settling in whenever something happens. He bottles it up instead.

He is at first not going to come to the conclusion that you passed out because of your period and will instead shake you like crazy to wake up, unknowingly causing you more pain.

And now, to the scenario which was my only reason to write these period key parts:

Askeladd hears a hard thump and looks over to see Thorfinn panicking and shaking you awake. The men watch with uneasy, eyes, speechless. With a frustrated sigh, Askeladd makes his way up to you two.

The moment he hears him, Thorfinn draws his dagger at the man and barks at him to stay the hell away. What could he possibly want?

With a roll of his eyes, the man points at your unconcious form and tells him what the hell he is doing rather. Doesnt he now that shaking you like a rag doll is only hurting you more?

Thorfinn screams at him as Askeladd kneels down and lays you down on your back, putting a cloak under your head as a pillow. He gives you something to drink, prepares something akin to soup with a few herbs and tells Thorfinn to shut up and learn.

He watches him pour something in a bowl and attempting to have you drink from it - before the leader could do anything, Thorfinn has his hands around his neck, pushing Askeladd to the ground with gritted teeth. "What in the hell do you think you're doing?!"

Askeladd shoves the lad off and points towards the blood around you. "You can't even help your friend. She's bleeding and unconcious and you're holding down the man who knows his way around women at least."

Thorfinn's breath hitches and he watches with wide, attentive eyes and a shaking dagger in his hand as Askeladd is tending you. When asked how he knows all these things, the man cheekily answers that in his years he had experiences with a few women for more than a few months. The men whoop for him.

In reality, he knows all this by having tended his sick mother ever since he was lad himself. Ill and alone, abandoned in a stable with manure and rats left and right. She survived so far until he was fourteen...so he reckons he's teaching Thorfinn something right.

While disliking this little lesson, Thorfinn takes it to heart as he watches you get better.

Cloths, food, herbs and salves...he'll get it for you. Either by means of foraging or stealing. All for you.

Tells you to always inform him on how you are feeling. If something hurts, here's the salve. If you can't get up, he'll carry you. He also mused if he should wash your blood-stained clothes but always asks you beforehand.

The fact that you could get infected (which is something he didn't know and Askeladd told him) makes him even more determined to keep his eye on you. There are so many ways to die and he can't have you be gone through something like that.

So, so helpless when you are feeling emotional (pms). You are depressed, upset or are crying because of...nothing particular. He is definitely NOT going to Askeladd but is going to ask you what you want him to do. What do you want, what do you need? This is all so confusing to him, just tell him what he's gotta do.

It doesn't matter if he doesn't understand it, don't bother explaining. Just give out your request. Anything.

He's not going to tell you how much it hurts seeing you like this.

Need a hug? Uh, he doesn't do hugs but he'll comply. Unsurely and carefully wrapping his arms around you with zero weight on your body. His skin is barely touching yours. Afraid he might hurt you.

Lean on him and cry. Talk about anything, he won't get it but will listen. Ask for anything and he'll get it.

Again, he does so really carefully like you are made of the thinnest glass. Thorfinn isn't the most affectionate even when he tries.

If you give him your thanks during pms, he will be...stumped. And his heart is beating fast. What are you talking about?

He'll accept your words quietly, patting your back before telling you to keep resting. Just a bit more and everything will be okay.

[@suofang this for u]

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

OK OK OK OK OK. wibby thoughts. wibby bisection thoughts. we could just like vivisect him this time. fucking shit like that. have his guts and stuff all over the forest.

as i've said ummm. fucking around with passengers Is gonna come up a bit at some point (doesn't feel like a spoiler to say? i mean. bonesaw is Literally Here) so i won't say much, but bonesaw literally does say in snare 13.9:

so. yeah!!!!!!!!!! yeah!!!!!!! that could fucking happen!!! if the trickster has control over someone like bonesaw who is capable of doing that!! (would he Want to though? there's no like. secret well of planeswalking power in him here. would he just do it for fun????!!!!) and. ough. ok. let this one cook for a while ok there's a part u need to get to in worm that's relevant. i think this could go very hard i like it a LOT but i legally can't talk about it very much!!!!

ALSO. as i just made a post about. he could literally just get trapped in muse's area of effect during this final battle and get. um. well. really anything could happen to him. honestly the pulling him in half clicks really fucking well with this i think because that really does feel like some cartoon nightmare shit.... get yoinked!! & because it's dream logic he could still get put back together just as easily... he could be like. alive and aware the whole time it's happening. u know. wheezing bloody exposed lungs that aren't Working and aren't Doing anything and they should have stopped by now his heart is fallen out it should be stopped but it's still squeezing and his eyes are still moving etc. this would also be like. reminiscent of his trigger event (laying helpless and paralyzed and in immense pain for many hours in the middle of the woods that want to kill him). ik u have second trigger thoughts. shrug!! maybe ashe has a moment of lucidity before the field drops and goes OHHH GOD OH FUCK because wraith is just. strewn across the ground torn apart like a doll that yr dog got to. etc etc etc.

ANYWAY. thats what ive got so far what have u got!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 👀👀👀👀👀

AHA. YEAH. LITERALLY WIBBY FRIDGE IN THE FOREST. okay okay okay we are cooking we are in the kitchen together just throwing ingredients into the soup. I'm obv not going to comment on the passengers thing until I read some more of worm (btw quick side note the s9 had a cameo in the last interlude I read and I got so ridiculously happy to see them again. extremely nervous about yhem cloning themselves (???????) though. although i kind of hope they are so that it'll give me more ideas about tide. anyway.)

HOWEVER. I DO REALLY REALLY LIKE THE GETTING CAUGHT IN THE BLAST ZONE VIBE but something that hits so hard about that event in canon is just. how. Direct And Personal it seemed. like. he Did That while holding him in the air and telling him to not be afraid bc it'll all be over soon. that's so much. I love the wibby getting caught in the fucked up breaker effect but also i think it should be DIRECTED at him. reasoning behind this i don't know why yet. but I'm sure we can think of something sufficiently harmful.

god dude i didn't even CONSIDER the dream logic of it all. we literally don't even have to kill wibby we can just have him awake and alive and aware of it all. wow! awesome! and dakota can try to push him back together and he would be aware of this and trying to talk to him but his fuckign. everythign is ripped open so he can't exactly talk now can he !!!

I do have SO MANY second trigger thoughts and I do think this is so fucking perfect as a second trigger moment exactly bc of what u said abt laying helpless (ESPECIALLY if we have dakota trying to fix him because. hey he didn't trigger the first time until people came to get him. lol. lmao, even.) and i HAVE actually put a good amount of thought into what his powers would look like after this but i cant tell u until youre done w pd AUGH. also hey having ashe be lucid for a second sucks even more because he'd drop the breaker effect. the only thing that could feasibly put wibby back together in this state is ALSO the breaker effect. so he fucking panics because hey wow i just did this and the only way to fix it or undo it is to . go back to being a horrible little puppet or whatever. do u know what I mean

side note I think wibby needs to have a brutal gross awesome scar from this. i can't talk more about this until you finish 39. smile !!!!!!!!!! what the fuck dude.

[maochira]

I soldi possono comprare tutto, eccetto il tuo amore (Don Lorenzo x reader)

"Money can buy anything, except for your love" - word count: 4k

Synopsis: “Money can buy anything in the world” doesn’t apply anymore when it comes to winning your love. And thats when Lorenzo needs to figure out how he can truly win your heart.

Tags: gn!reader x hopeless romantic!Lorenzo, this is before Blue Lock, dad Snuffy giving advice to Lorenzo, inspired by Wo kann man das kaufen ("Where can you buy that") by Alligatoah, thanks to @echarie for translating the title to Italian!!

"Another gift?" You raise an eyebrow as you stare right back at Lorenzo. A part of you is surprised, another part is slightly annoyed. "That's the fifth this week. It's Wednesday."

"Well, you deserve it!" Lorenzo grins and forces the small box into your hands, expecting you to open it right away.

"For what? I haven't done anything special this week." You try to return the box to him, but Lorenzo refuses to take it and hides his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

"You did great in last week's match." He leans against the nearby wall but continues looking at you.

"That was days ago and I don't think the one goal I scored deserves five presents." You once again try to return the box to Lorenzo, but his hands are kept in his pockets.

"But I think so." The smirk on his face still doesn't disappear. "Anyways, are you up for a date on Friday evening?"

Almost every conversation with him goes like this. He hands you a present and then asks you out on a date. Lorenzo always hopes the amount of presents he gives to you is going to help make you fall in love with him. At first, you truly appreciated the gifts, but by now they seem... unnecessary. Back when he only gave you a present every now and then you felt special, but since he started giving them to you daily, they lost the special feeling.

And at this point, it's getting frustrating. Lorenzo seems to be under the impression that he can win your love with money and presents. And even though you're well aware of the fact that he's had a crush on you for a while, he never genuinely shows his feelings. You're actually doubting him by now.

Because he won't take the present into his hands, you decide to just set it down on the floor right before his feet. "I think I'm gonna have to say no to that date."

Lorenzo's grin quickly turns into a frown, but he's trying to keep the confidence in his voice. "Again?" He takes a step away from the wall, now leaning towards you again. "How many more presents do I have to give you until you say yes?"

You look him right into his eyes with the most serious expression you can put on right now. "Not a single one."

"Then why-" Lorenzo starts but quickly gets interrupted by you.

"I wasn't done talking." You take a deep breath before continuing. "I don't want any more presents from you. Not a single one. You can't buy my love like this. Do you get that?"

Lorenzo's frown now turns into a confused expression. "Huh? I thought you liked my presents?"

"I used to like them. But now..." You turn your head slightly to the side and let out a sigh. "I feel as if your money is the only thing you're using to get my love. I don't want that."

Lorenzo crosses his arms in front of his chest and tries to come up with a response. You can see in his eyes how puzzled he currently is and if you weren't so serious right now, it would have probably made you laugh.

"But that's my way of showing I love you."

"And it's not the way of getting me to give you a chance."

"...Fine." Lorenzo sighs in defeat. "So, what do I have to do to win your heart, eh?"

"No presents, no talk about money, just..." You start but quickly stop talking again. It takes you a moment to figure out what you truly want from him. "I want to know who you are. And I mean who you are without your money in the foreground. Let me get to know you properly. Because all I ever hear you talking about is money and how it runs the world and... all that you always talk about. I barely have an idea of who you really are."

Only a few seconds after you finish speaking Lorenzo's grin has returned and he leans a little closer towards you. That's something you're used to, but this time he gets a bit closer than usual. Close enough to let you feel his breath on your face, but he doesn't give the impression of getting any closer for something like a kiss.

"All I understand is you're willing to go on a date with me if I don't talk about money?"

You can't help but chuckle at his response. It's exactly what you expected from him. "If you can really do that, I'm willing to give you a chance."

Lorenzo wants to put on a genuine smile, but he tries to hide it with the grin he's been keeping on his lips the entire time. You can hear the genuine happiness in his voice, though. "Perfect! Friday evening it is? Or would you prefer another day?"

"Friday evening works just fine for me."

And with this confirmed, Lorenzo later texted you the details of where the date would be and when he'd pick you up. He chose a restaurant that wasn't super fancy, but not too cheap either. You can tell he intentionally picked a place that doesn't scream "I have lots of money to spend there."

Well, in reality, Lorenzo had no idea what to choose. He asked his teammates for advice and recommendations because if it was up to him, he would have chosen the fanciest restaurant in the area so he could spoil you as much as possible. But since you insisted on leaving the topic of money aside for a bit, he had to find other options. Luckily his teammates were happy to help him out with that. After all, they've been watching him hopelessly crushing on you for months at this point.

The more time passes by and the closer the date gets, Lorenzo realizes he genuinely doesn't know how to win your heart other than the method he tried so far with all the gift-giving. What is he supposed to talk about? He doesn't feel like there's much to him as a person. Sure, he could tell you about his past if he wants to get more personal, but finding out about the wrong things he used to do would probably turn you away from him. Also, that would only go back to talking about money since he did all those things because of money back then.

And the more he tries to come up with things to tell you about himself, the more he realizes all of them lead back to anything related to money. On the day when the date happens, he decides he'll just let you talk about yourself and will try to squeeze in things about himself if he can. He knows you're the one who wants to get to know him closer, but he wants to find out more about you as well.

In the meantime, you've been wondering how this date will go. Will Lorenzo really stick to what he said and shut up about money for a while? Or will he fail at that? Did he maybe lie about that to make you agree to go on a date?

Well, those are questions to which you'll find out the answers pretty soon. They just keep running through your head over and over while you're waiting in front of your house for Lorenzo to pick you up. He's already five minutes late but you think it might just be the traffic that makes him delayed. After all, Lorenzo lives on the opposite side of the city and it takes a bit to get to your place.

What's actually going on is that Lorenzo suddenly got very anxious right before he wanted to start driving. He never felt like this about a person or a date before, so why is he suddenly unable to think straight? Didn't he already overthink the date enough for the past two days?

"Didn't you want to leave twenty minutes ago?" Snuffy asks when he spots Lorenzo hesitating to leave the house. He's been nervously walking back and forth in the hallway and still hasn't found the confidence to go outside.

"Twenty minutes already?" Lorenzo comes to a stop and looks at Snuffy. "It's really been twenty minutes?"

"Twenty-one now." Snuffy jokes but quickly goes back to being serious. "You seem nervous. Why? You've already been on dates before but I've never seen you like this."

"Because I've never been so serious about someone until now!" It bursts out of Lorenzo, but he quickly apologizes for getting only louder than he intended to. "Ah, sorry... It's just-"

"You're in love and don't want to get your final rejection, hm?" Snuffy puts his hand on Lorenzo's shoulder in a reassuring manner. "That's what you're worried about, aren't you?"

Lorenzo is a little embarrassed to admit it, but Snuffy is completely right. "(Y/N) doesn't want me to talk about anything related to money tonight. What am I supposed to talk about then?"

"Why are you trying to plan what you'll talk about before you're even there? You'll see how the conversation goes. Don't stress yourself over it now."

Snuffy's words hit Lorenzo immediately. He's right. Lorenzo has been breaking his mind over what he can tell you this entire time instead of waiting until he's actually talking to you. Well, he already planned to let you talk about yourself first anyways, but he still needed Snuffy's advice to reassure him.

"Hm... You're right. Thanks." Lorenzo turns to the door. "I think I'll be going now."

"Drive safely, alright?" Snuffy gives Lorenzo one last pat on the shoulder before letting him go outside. He's sure that this will go well for Lorenzo, especially now that he's feeling more confident again.

Lorenzo arrives around twenty-five minutes later than he originally told you. For a bit, you were starting to doubt he'd pick you up but kept reminding yourself that he was trying to get you on a date for so long, there's no way he'd just leave you standing like this. But still, when he pulls his car into your driveway you're relieved for him to finally be here.

While you're walking towards his car, Lorenzo quickly gets out so he can open the door to the passenger seat for you.

"Aren't you a little late?" You ask in a slightly teasing tone before getting into the car.

"Maybe..." Lorenzo gets in the driver's seat again and starts the car. "Sorry, something just got in my way. But now let's enjoy the evening, okay?"

For a moment he debates with himself if he should tell you the truth about why he was late, but quickly decides against it. Saying "I'm late because I got very anxious over not knowing how to talk about myself if it's not related to money" just doesn't sound good.

The next few minutes neither of the two of you talk and it's slightly awkward, so Lorenzo soon breaks that silence. "Do you want to put on any music? Come on, show me what you like."

"I don't really think it's the type of music you'd like, to be honest-"

"I don't care." Lorenzo stops at a red light and quickly unlocks his phone before handing it to you. "Put on whatever you like."

"Okay, thanks." You give him a soft smile, which quickly causes Lorenzo to blush, then put on some of your favourite songs. You also get a quick glimpse at Lorenzo's Spotify playlists and curiosity gets the better of you, so you end up scrolling through his liked songs. He doesn't seem to mind that, though. "Rave music? You like that stuff?"

"I love it!" His voice suddenly sounds more enthusiastic than you've ever heard him. "I really enjoy going to rave parties. Going there always means having a good time, you know?"

"So there is more to you than money!" You unintentionally end up sounding more surprised than you want to. "Ah eh... Sorry. Did that sound weird?"

Your reaction gets a laugh about Lorenzo. "No no, not at all. It was kinda cute, to be honest." He then pulls into the restaurant's parking lot and looks at you before getting out of the car. "No going back now for you."

"I don't mind. Let me get to know you better."

You're about to open the car door when Lorenzo suddenly tells you to stop. He quickly gets out of the car and walks around it so he can open the door for you - just like when he picked you up.

"Are you always this much of a gentleman or is it because you're trying to win me over?" Your question is both out of curiosity and also for the sake of teasing him a little.

"How about you find out?" Lorenzo grins and holds his hand out to you. "You're here to get to know me, aren't you?"

A little laugh escapes you as you reach for his hand. "You better not be putting on an act, though. I want to know what you're like. I need to know if you're worth giving a chance."

"Oh, I definitely am!" Lorenzo helps you out of the car and quickly pulls you closer to his body, so close your chest is pressed against his. "I'll prove it to you, okay?"

With this, he finally gains a blush from you for the first time - and this only gives him another confidence boost.

Still holding your hand, Lorenzo leads you to go into the restaurant where you sit down together at the table he reserved.

The entire time, you find yourself talking to Lorenzo without a single awkward silence in between and there aren't any even slightly uncomfortable moments either. Lorenzo still seems very confident in winning you over tonight, and the more you get to know him, the more you think the same.

It's genuinely nice to find out who he really is. You've actually known each other ever since he's joined Ubers a while back, but because you're not on the same team, you never had proper conversations with him. You don't even know how he ended up falling for you because your paths only ever crossed when your practises happened to be at a similar time. Well, at least in the beginning. At some point Lorenzo started coming at times when he knew you'd be at practice just so he could see you. And that's when the unnecessary amount of gift giving started that caused you to be rather uncomfortable.

But even though you had a somewhat weird start with Lorenzo, now you're glad it went that way. Because if it didn't, tonight wouldn't be happening and you'd be missing out on a lot of fun.

Although, now one question is stuck in your head.

"Why did you start falling for me?" You ask as soon as the past conversation topic is over.

The question catches Lorenzo off guard. The previous topic was more fun and lighthearted and while he could respond to this in that way as well, he thinks he should give you a more serious answer. But truth is, he doesn't completely remember the reasons.

It takes a few moments until he responds, and when he does, his voice sounds a little less confident than before. He doesn't give off the impression as if he's lying, but he rather sounds as if he's about to get nervous again.

"Well... I don't really know. It's been a while since I started crushing on you, hasn't it?" He leans back in his chair and turns his face to the side a little, hoping it would help hiding his blush - but it really doesn't.

"Then, what are the things you like about me so much?" You keep pushing further, really wanting to get proper answers to this.

It's obvious how Lorenzo wants to go back to only showing confidence, but the more he thinks about reasons why he loves you, the more flustered he's getting to the point where he's unable to answer at all. Lorenzo being at a loss for words is something you've never seen before, but it's kinda fun and something you could definitely get used to. Maybe you should get him flustered more often.

But for now, you decide to have some mercy with him and change the conversation topic to something else. And even though Lorenzo is back to talking, you can see how he's still struggling every now and then because he's definitely still thinking about the things he loves about you. Maybe he'll be able to say those some time else.

Besides that, the date continues going very well for both of you. Until the moment comes around that Lorenzo has secretely started dreading, which has added to his flusterness to some extend.

Who's gonna pay? Are both of you going to pay for your own food? Should he pay since he's the one who invited you? Should you split the bill in half?

Even though that's something important to ask, it's related to money so Lorenzo is unsure if he should say something about it. You can see the struggle on his face. It's kinda cute to look at, knowing he's overthinking simply because of you. To spare him from any further struggling, you decide to make things easier for him.

"I'll pay, alright?"

And that's it. He doesn't say no, he only nods and thanks you in response because he knows if he made money a topic now, he might push you away again after the date went so well.

But actually, date is not over yet. According to your original plan it should be, but you're having so much fun that going home now feels wrong. So instead, you get back into Lorenzo's car and he just drives around for a bit so you get to talk more. When you got into the car he offered you to put on music again, but you declined because it would only serve as distraction from any conversations that could get more serious.

"You never actually told me how you ended up in Ubers." You say in a curious but questioning tone, expecting to receive a simple answer similar to what you've heard from other players.

"You really want to know?" Lorenzo's tone is serious, but in a weird way that almost feels out of character for him.

"If you want to tell me."

"Hm..." Lorenzo needs a moment to figure out how to tell you about this past. He didn't really expect to get this personal with you tonight, but he doesn't really mind either. He's never cared much about telling others about how he ended up in Ubers, but when it comes to you he's suddenly so serious about things because he's trying to not do or say anything that could push you only slightly away from him.

"I'll just keep it short, okay?" A smile returns to his face in order to not drag down the mood, even though what he's about to tell you isn't the happiest story. "My parents were shit and abondened me, I was homeless, then Snuffy got me out of the streets and asked me to play soccer for him."

It takes you a few seconds to let that sink in. "...You were homeless? Oh my- I'm so sorry-"

"Eh, don't be." Lorenzo shrugs. "That was in the past. I'm doing great now. After all... I got to go on a date with you tonight.~"

And that's how he gains another blush from you.

"Tell me, is that why you're obsessed with money? Because you used to have none?"

"I thought we're not talking about money tonight?" Lorenzo pulls the car to the side and brings it to a stop. "Isn't that what you wanted?"

"You're not wrong but-" You unbuckle your seatbelt so you can lean closer towards him. "Isn't this something important I should know about you?"

"It is, I guess." Lorenzo shrugs before unbuckling his seatbelt as well, leaning closer to you, too. "But yes, you're right. That's where my obsession comes from."

"I'm so sorry for you, I didn't know you ha-"

Lorenzo puts a finger on your lips to make you stop talking. "I told you to not be sorry. So don't be, okay?"

His action makes you giggle a bit. "Okay okay. But... Hm... You know, it's nice to know more about you now. And also to know where your money obsession comes from."

Lorenzo only nods in response. He didn't even listen to you properly. After touching your lips with his finger, kissing you is all he can think about now. Due to that his blush is returning, just this time you don't know the reason.

Lorenzo wants to kiss you. He really, really wants to. But he feels like it's too early for you. It's just the first date, after all.

"Maybe it's time to get you home. It's getting late." He says when he regains his ability to speak. He was about to drift off into thoughts about a kiss, but stopped himself before that happened.

You're a bit confused why he didn't respond to what you last said, but decide to not point it out and agree with him instead. It really is getting late by now and as much as you'd love to spend more time with Lorenzo, it's time to go home.

When he drops you off at home, Lorenzo once again gets out of the car to open the door for you and helps you out. This time, his grip on your hand is a little tighter than earlier, but he lets go quickly after you get out of the car. Instead, he wraps his arm around your body and places his hand on your waist as he walks you to the door. Just before you get to take your keys out, he starts talking again.

"I think I like... No, I know I love you even more now." Lorenzo reaches out his other hand. "And you know... There's a thing that I'd still really like to have." He points at the area on your chest where your heart is, but without touching you there. "Tell me, how can I buy that?" He says jokingly, but there's a hint of seriousness in his voice.

"Are we really going back to this?" You say in a teasing tone while taking his hand into yours. "You were getting really close to winning the chance for a second date, you know?"

Now that you're holding his hand again, Lorenzo uses the opportunity to pull you closer to his body. "And you know I was joking, right?"

"When it comes to you and money, I can never know."

"This is not about money, it's about your love. And I think..." Lorenzo leans his face closer to yours, but not close enough for a kiss. "...I might get more serious about that than I am about money."

"Oh? Really?" Another blush forms on your cheeks, and this time it's stronger than the few times before.

"I have all the money I could ask for already, there's nothing to aim for with it anymore. But when it comes to you... There's something to fight for."

"Who said you still have to fight?"

Lorenzo squeezes your hand a little tighter and the one that's previously been on your waist now wanders over to the back of your head. "Are you implying I won your love already? With one date?"

"Let's say... you're close."

"Close enough for a kiss?"

Your blush gets a bit stronger. "Close enough for a kiss."

Lorenzo doesn't hesitate for a single second and pulls you in for a kiss, wishing it wouldn't have to end. When you pull away from each other, he looks into your eyes with an amount of love and admiration so big, it brings butterflies right into your stomach.

"So... The second date will happen, right?" Lorenzo asks while pulling his arms away so you can get your keys out of your pocket.

"You really think I'd say no after this?"

Taglist (sign-up link): @kaineedstherapy12 @luvcalico @vanitasbrainrot @deerangle3 @futuristicxie @bluelock4life @https-archangel @userwithlotsoftime @chaosinanutshell

[dropitlikeapeong]

Waiting for You: Chapter 2-

But why?

Genre: more angst (kinda.. it could've been worse)

CW: Swearing(and lots of it). Seeuns a jerk (a little bit!). mentions of food. Y/n's probably getting fired. mentions of jealousy. suggestive mentions (makeouts, hickeys and love bites) NONE are happening in this chapter, they're only mentioned.

This chapter is not as angsty and sad as it could've been, and thats okay because I still got the next few chapters to torture you with :D

This one's a bit longer than the last one so woohoo. I apologize for any spelling mistakes (my eyesight is a joke) if im forgetting to add something in the cws, please let me know and i hope ya'll enjoy.

Likes, reblogs and comments are very appreciated.

"Let's break up."

"we're done, y/n."

"I don't want us, anymore"

"we're done."

"Goodbye Y/n."

Not a single explanation given, he just simply let you know that it was over, and left. Instead of an evening that usually ends with watching yours and his favourite shows on netflix with some snacks, cuddling and a little makeout in between, your evening ended with you crying yourself to sleep wondering what went wrong. Sadly the world won't stop spinning solely for your heartbreak, and you are very much still needed at work today.

Having slept through the alarms your now ex-boyfriend always set for you, you are forced get up by the several incoming calls and texts from your supervisor and your coworkers. After your phone finally stops vibrating, you sit up in your bed to scroll through the many texts from your friends, Jiwoo and Hana;

Jiwoo: WHERE TF ARE YOU?!- sent 06:18

Jiwoo: you were the last one to leave work last night, you have the office keys now we can't get in- sent 06:20

Jiwoo: also we agreed yesterday you're in charge of the picking up the boys' food, im driving them to the photoshoot- sent 06:21

Jiwoo: and no i will not switch shifts with you again- sent 06:21

Jiwoo: BITCH ISTG- sent 06:52

Jiwoo: we got a spare key. thanks for nothing asshole.- sent 07:05

Well... Jiwoo's mad. You'll have to make it up to her later, and from the looks of it, Hana as well.

Hana: If you value your job, get your ass over here quickly. I can only stall Manager Park for so long- sent 07:52

Hana: and no i'm not gonna tell them you're calling in sick- sent 07:52

Hana: Youre on the meal shift, you not allowed to call in sick today- sent 07:53

Hana: IF YOU DONT PICK UP THE FCUKING CALL ISTG- sent 07:58

Hana: lol, tried to save ya, Manager Park is pissed.-sent 08:14

Hana: And youre on meal shift tomorrow as well since jiwoo had to get the boys' coffee today. YOURE WELCOME.- sent 08:15

hana: AND youre the one who promised the maknaes brownies today, not us, so have fun explaining to them why they arent getting any today- sent 08:18

Hana: im mad at you in case you cant tell.-sent 08:18

Aside from the spam of your upset friends, your main motivator to get into the shower was a singular text from Manager Park letting you know that if you didn't show up at work today, to not bother showing up tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the day after that.

So you rush through your shower routine, grab your bags and your keys and a fruit on your way out of your home, to at least try and salvage this day, and not piss off your friends or your other colleagues even more.

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While driving to work, your thoughts end up drifting back to last nights events. When Seeun broke your heart and left you crying on your living room floor.

Later today one of the staff that were aware of your relationship would be coming around to pick up anything and everthing of his that he might have left in your apartment, during your one year relationship.

'It's for the best' he says. Best for who? Him? Did the CEO find out about you then tell him to end things? that would make sense, however with how clingy he was toward you at work and in front of everyone, it was quite difficult to keep your relationship secret, even from the CEO himself.

After he caught Seeun trying to sneak into one of the supply closets with you, you were both called into his office for a very important discussion about "fraternization in the workplace". He'd given you both a stern yet kind warning that if anyone outside of the company found out found about this, it'd mean a lot of trouble, especially for you, so you needed to be careful.

'Guess there's no need to worry about that anymore.' you thought to yourself.

You make a stop at the sandwich bar across the company to pick up the boys' lunch as well as the brownies you promised, even though you told them you'd bake them yourself, you were unfortunately too preoccupied with dealing with heartbreak their friend caused. Hopefully they'll understand right? Of course they wouldn't they didn't even know you two were a thing. Wait, maybe that's his issue;

What if he saw you with someone else? Maybe thats why!

Could he have seen you with another guy and overthought the situation? You obviously have some male coworkers that you chat with sometimes, but your conversations are always respectful. Even if someone does flirt with you, you always kindly let them know you're not interested.

Him worrying about you leaving for another guy seems highly unlikely, but not impossible. He does tend to have a bit of a jealous streak, epsecially when comes to you being around his bandmates.

With the job of prepping their equipment and clothing for performances, Bringing them their food and drinks and driving them to their many different events since their debut, it's no surprise that you'd eventually grow close to the ten boys. it is how you and Seeun started dating after all, but considering that could get you into an insane amount of trouble, your relationship with him remained a secret, even from the rest of the group.

That secretiveness unfortunately made some of other members comfortable enough to have some flirty conversations with you.

Its kinda suprising how neither of them even suspected you two, with how Seeun would constantly be caught staring daggers at Hunter for constantly offering to take you out on a date after dance practice. Considering Hunter's personality, you know he's probably joking, but it still didn't stop your boyfriend from angrily muttering about how he needed to back off, because you're his and his only.

I mean, at least you were.

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Finally you arrive at the company just in time to deliver lunch to the boys. Once you reach their practice room they're all lying on the floor sprawled out, in different corners of the studio. Jiwoo continues packing up their sound equipment not even sparing you a glance, still very much upset from this morning. You'll have to buy her lunch later to make up for it.

They're all too exhausted from rehearsals to pay any attention to you, so you figure you can sneak in, leave them their food and sneak back out unnoticed, but today is just not your day.

"Y/NNIE!!", is all you hear before a strong pair of arms wrap around you and lift you off the ground, squeezing you tightly.

So much for sneaking out unnoticed.

"Hunter, I can't breathe." He gives you one last squeeze before setting you on your feet again, smiling down at you.

"Where were you this morning? We missed you!" Yujun asked while rummaging through the bag of food you brought.

Now everyone's eyes are on you as you try to explain your absence from this morning but your wonderful ex pipes up before you can even speak.

"Who's 'we'?" he scoffed, while the other members laughed, your smile dropped as you tensed at his response.

Right. He always had to tease you a little to make sure his favoritism of you wasn't too obvious, although according to Hyunwoo, it only makes it more obvious that he likes you, hence everyone just laughing off his comment. Even you would just laugh off his antics knowing he'd give you all his hugs and kisses later, as an apology in case he was a little too mean.

But after last night's conversation, today's joke isn't really that easy to laugh off.

"So Y/n, where were you-Are you crying?" Yechan asks and now everyone is moving in closer to see what was wrong with you. When did you start crying? You quickly wipe at your face but Seeun grabs your wrist, his other hand moving up to as if to caress your cheek, him looking down at you with concern with concern in his eyes, that concern disappears immediately, as he laughs in your face.

"Wait are you really crying?" he sneered. What is this?

This is not his usual teasing, he's really just trying to hurt you.

But why? Why is he being like this?

"Aw, Y/nnie you know I'm just joking, no need to be a baby about it-" he goes to ruffle your hair but you instinctively slap his hand away from you.

He looked a bit shocked at your actions but that expression quickly changed into a mocking smirk.

"Woah, calm down, why are you being so moody today?"

"Y/n just had a bad morning guys, we all have those don't we?" jiwoo spoke up. You weren't really expecting her to defend you after her texts from this morning, but you were grateful nonetheless.

"Yay! You brought the brownies!" the exchange between you two is quickly forgotten as the rest of group rushes off to where Yujun is holding the box of brownies.

"Hey, these are store-bought you said you'd bake them-"

"Who cares, I want one!"

"Hey! hEY- DON'T EAT ALL OF THEM! We're supposed to share!!"

While they all bickered over the bags of food, you backed away silently trying to make your way to the door, but bumped into someone, you turn around to see Seeun glaring at you.

"Watch where you're going idiot." He muttered walking over to where the rest of members were already sitting down and eating, leaving a dull ache in your chest.

What was his problem? Why was he acting as if you're the one who hurt him?

You were tempted to ask but Jiwoo grabbed your arm and dragged you towards the door.

"We need to go see Manager Park right now, but we'll be back in a few minutes. Enjoy your lunch guys!"

Once the door is shut, you are then dragged off to yours and Jiwoo's shared office.

"I thought we had to go to Manager Park-"

"Yes. You do. In an hour or so;"

She then shoves you into your chair and stares at you expectantly.

"I know you're probably so mad at me right now- and you have every right to be-"

"-Apology accepted. You'll pay for my lunch later. Now onto more pressing matters, what's up with you and Seeun? You guys were so tense just now! Did you guys fight or something?"

You roll your eyes and sigh at her nosiness. You had planned on keeping the relationship a secret from her and Hana as well, but they put two and two together when you had gone into his dressing room to 'help him with his stage outfit', and came back with hickeys littered on your neck and collar, and bite marks on your shoulders and chest(you probably shouldn't have worn a sleeveless top that day).

Although there was a lot of concern about how things could easily go very wrong with this, they were still very happy for you and being the good friends they were, they promised not to tell a single soul.

"We broke up." Her mouth fell open, with her eyes widened in shock.

"Uh.. O-Okay?? Why??" She asked incredulously.

You shrugged, wishing you knew that answer as well.

"Jeez so that's why he's been so sour this morning, you broke his heart!" she says slapping your arm lightly and you narrowed your eyes her.

"First of all; He broke up with me-"

"-The fuck? Why?"

"Beats me." you leaned back into your chair closing your eyes.

"Well shit, then what the heck was he mad at us for?" you sat back up at that.

"He got mad at you guys?" she nodded and sat on you desk.

"He was so snappy with everyone this morning, no one knew what his deal was."

Before you could ask her for more information, the door opened and Hana rushed in, slightly out of breath.

"Manager Park is looking for you- and wants to see you in the practice room. Right now."

"Me? I thought he wanted to see me in hour-"

"-Change of plans. He wants to see you now and i suggest you move fast, cause he seemed pissed."

Shit.

"We all come late from time to time- hell even he was late too last week- he can't still be mad about that right?" Jiwoo asked trying to reassure you even though she seemed just as worried as you. Hana shrugged and looked at you.

"You coming?"

You exhaled deeply and stood up, following her to the the practice room.

Time to face the music.

<previous chapter :: next chapter>

[that-tall-queer-bassist]

write a oneshot with me!

Welcome to the "WIP With Me" post where i tell you in excruciating detail how i write a oneshot fanfiction. We're going step by step here, starting with setting up my document.

I'm using Ellipsus here, because google docs made a (minor) change i am (unfortunately) very upset about (my outline used to look good :< )

I usually have sections i can click to for my outline/braindump area, and "ao3 stuffs" (tags, summary, authors notes, etc.)

As you can see, im not entirely sure what i want to write yet! Right now i want to write a Percy Jackson and the Olympians (or Heroes of Olympus) fanfic, but it very well may end up being more... minecraft youtube -esque. Or witcher.

Now, I'm thinking i want to write a Nico Di Angelo/Will Solace fic, specifically "three days in the infirmary", because i love it and you can never do it too many times, but! I am also thinking doing a Percy/Jason bromance fic might be fun? I started a ficlet yesterday about them, and i think it's an interesting concept, though it would be messy to tag.

I write down my notes and ideas with bullet points or a checklist, sometimes in a physical notebook, but this time i did it in a "draft" (connected doc that i could merge with ellipsus, but won't)

as you can see, i fleshed the concepts out some, very very messily. Yes, the messiness is crucial to the process. this is very likely not going to reflect the final product. you've been warned.

(also, i am just updating this as i go, i am actually at this step in the process as i type it)

OKAY AFTER A BREAK I AM BACK and i think that the "3 days in the infirmary but Percy POV" will be the most fun for me, because obliviousness <3

So now it's time to brainstorm more, or get a couple of outlines about how i want to structure this fic. Maybe a 5+1 fic, like "five times Percy didn't know what was going on, and one time he realized" or something like that

okay so obviously theres a theme happening here, i just think it would be funny for percy to just... be aware for once? it seems like people write him as an airhead, which he is, but surely thats not all there is to him.

i'm So Tired though, so i will pick this back up later tonight or tomorrow to document the Detailed Outline and (hopefully) Writing process! And then after that is editing :)

[aspd-culture]

aspd culture is : goes into the aspd tag. seems someone claiming house md, (guy whos dxd aspd in the show im pretty sure lol) is actually hyperempathic instead of lacking it and avoids patients due to too much empathy. like ok just avoid the whole boundary pushing / whatever else ok. alright thats enough of that *turns off internet* ive had enough of prosocials damn why do they think the only aspd symptom ever is lack of empathy. god

The amount of people who take *any* ASPD rep - including but not limited to House, this was also EXTREMELY common with Wednesday Addams, who is also diagnosed with ASPD in the show Wednesday - and call it "hyperempathetic autism" is... disgusting honestly. I'm autistic too and I get the desire to have representation from non-infantalized characters, I do, but the erasure of ASPD from the very few sources who intentionally make ASPD representation is not how we handle that.

And, as you mentioned, many people intentionally overlook, ignore, or try to explain away any "bad" behavior (see also: ASPD symptoms) because it pushes against their point.

People are just... so desperate to not admit that anyone they like had ASPD that they will directly ignore and speak over the media's direct acknowledgement of ASPD just so they can see us as monsters and still have permission to like that character.

PSA to prosocials, especially those with no other experience with cluster b treatment:

When the therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist says the character "has antisocial traits" or "is antisocial", that's not a descriptor, nor does it mean they don't like people/avoid interaction with people. That's a medical professional using a different model of discussing a diagnosis with the patient by rephrasing it without the disorder attached. This is super common with ASPD because many pwASPD who are forced into treatment - like House and Wednesday - are resistant to admitting something is "wrong with them", so the professional will use the inital descriptor instead of the entire disorder name. In this case it's "antisocial" with the words personality disorder removed. It's also common to see in media happening for people with BPD, with the character being referred to as "having borderline traits" or "being borderline".

If the professional was referring to them or their traits as "asocial", then it would mean what you guys think it does - they avoid interaction, have a general dislike of socializing/social situations, and generally self-isolate. Antisocial and asocial are not the same, and while you can argue that anyone else in a show calling someone antisocial won't know the difference, their mental health professionals do. Evidently, House and the rest of the cast are also very aware in-canon of mental health, going by the DID episode which was done amazingly well imo. If House knows about Dissociative Identity Disorder, I assure you ASPD is not off of his radar. ASPD is significantly more prevalent than DID, with up to 4% of the US population having ASPD compared to 1% of the population having DID. While there is issues with under-diagnosis, those issues are the case with both disorders, so it's likely that the difference made by that would at most only slightly close the gap between the two. House also researches things purely based on the existence of stigma and/or lack of public knowledge on the subject, and frequently attempts to find out why he thinks and acts the way he does behind the scenes. If you google his symptoms, ASPD would be at least one of the things that comes up. So again, he is not misusing antisocial.

In fact, no one on House, MD would say antisocial where they meant asocial, as they are versed in psychology as a part of dealing with complex cases that have failed repeatedly to be diagnosed. That is shown constantly throughout the show. If you chose 3 episodes at random, I'm willing to bet at least one would show their experience in psychology as one of the team pushes the "it's just mental illness" angle.

All of this is to say that fuck prosocials endless refusal to actually acknowledge ASPD, both in likeable and notably unlikable characters!! Many of them HATE House, yet still can't admit he has ASPD. It's giving ableist, because it is ableist.

Plain text below the cut:

The amount of people who take *any* ASPD rep - including but not limited to House, this was also EXTREMELY common with Wednesday Addams, who is also diagnosed with ASPD in the show Wednesday - and call it "hyperempathetic autism" is... disgusting honestly. I'm autistic too and I get the desire to have representation from non-infantalized characters, I do, but the erasure of ASPD from the very few sources who intentionally make ASPD representation is not how we handle that.

And, as you mentioned, many people intentionally overlook, ignore, or try to explain away any "bad" behavior (see also: ASPD symptoms) because it pushes against their point.

People are just... so desperate to not admit that anyone they like had ASPD that they will directly ignore and speak over the media's direct acknowledgement of ASPD just so they can see us as monsters and still have permission to like that character.

PSA to prosocials, especially those with no other experience with cluster b treatment:

When the therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist says the character "has antisocial traits" or "is antisocial", that's not a descriptor, nor does it mean they don't like people/avoid interaction with people. That's a medical professional using a different model of discussing a diagnosis with the patient by rephrasing it without the disorder attached. This is super common with ASPD because many pwASPD who are forced into treatment - like House and Wednesday - are resistant to admitting something is "wrong with them", so the professional will use the inital descriptor instead of the entire disorder name. In this case it's "antisocial" with the words personality disorder removed. It's also common to see in media happening for people with BPD, with the character being referred to as "having borderline traits" or "being borderline".

If the professional was referring to them or their traits as "asocial", then it would mean what you guys think it does - they avoid interaction, have a general dislike of socializing/social situations, and generally self-isolate. Antisocial and asocial are not the same, and while you can argue that anyone else in a show calling someone antisocial won't know the difference, their mental health professionals do. Evidently, House and the rest of the cast are also very aware in-canon of mental health, going by the DID episode which was done amazingly well imo. If House knows about Dissociative Identity Disorder, I assure you ASPD is not off of his radar. ASPD is significantly more prevalent than DID, with up to 4% of the US population having ASPD compared to 1% of the population having DID. While there is issues with under-diagnosis, those issues are the case with both disorders, so it's likely that the difference made by that would at most only slightly close the gap between the two. House also researches things purely based on the existence of stigma and/or lack of public knowledge on the subject, and frequently attempts to find out why he thinks and acts the way he does behind the scenes. If you google his symptoms, ASPD would be at least one of the things that comes up. So again, he is not misusing antisocial.

In fact, no one on House, MD would say antisocial where they meant asocial, as they are versed in psychology as a part of dealing with complex cases that have failed repeatedly to be diagnosed. That is shown constantly throughout the show. If you chose 3 episodes at random, I'm willing to bet at least one would show their experience in psychology as one of the team pushes the "it's just mental illness" angle.

All of this is to say that fuck prosocials endless refusal to actually acknowledge ASPD, both in likeable and notably unlikable characters!! Many of them HATE House, yet still can't admit he has ASPD. It's giving ableist, because it is ableist.

[l-egionaire]

Luz's Destiny

This is another made from me and my buddy @ordinaryschmuck.

Near the end of her first year at the university, Luz started getting odd dreams. Not exactly nightmares like she usually had (and tried to not tell anyone) but visions of a place. A location that wasn't part of the titan's carcass she knew. Somewhere on the isles she'd never been to in her life and nobody in Bonesborough recognized when she slyly asked about them. Eventually one person, a foreign exchange student, recognized it. Luz, deciding to investigate. She went there in persin and that night, in bed.....she had a new dream.

She was in the same location.....and next to her was a titan. But a different one from King's dad. This one was skinnier, had green eyes, slimmer wings and a spiral unicorn horn.

Luz yelped.

Titan: So, you're her......I thought you'd be taller.

Luz: Uh...Who are you?

Titan: My name isn't something a mortal like you could comprehend...So, you can just call me Sarah.

Luz: ...Hi, Sarah? Um, is this real? Or a dream?

Sarah: Eh. Bit of both.

Luz: Okay......why am I here?

Sarah: Well, first, I wanted to meet my brethrens former champion myself. Get a better look at you than I could all the way over there.

Luz: Why?

Sarah: Because you interested us human.  We've watched over those who inhabit our remains over the many centuries. Seen them live their lives as we took our eternal sleeps. And then you come along, one of the first being in centuries to not only decipher the language of a titan but also be gifted with a bit of our powers. And rather than use it for destruction or to gain power, you used it to protect others. Thats....a rarity to see. In witches AND humans.

Luz: I'm nobody special. I just did what anyone would have done.

Sarah:....Seriously? Even after all these years?  Well, you're going to have to deal with those issues if you want us to make this work.

Luz: Make WHAT work? And whose "us"?

Sarah: Who do you think?

Luz frowns. Then she looks around. On the edges of her dream she could see different eyes in the distance, each one pair a different color.

Luz:....The other Titans.....

Sarah: Yes. We've seen that despite your time spent returning to the human realm, you still have a wish to study magic, even if it's much more difficult. So, we thought we'd offer you....something cool.

She presses a claw into the dirt and slowly writes out a symbol. After a few seconds, Luz recognizes it as a glyph. But, not like one she'd seen before. Sarah presses it and a light orb appears in the air.

Luz: How....how did you that? That wasn't any light glyph I've ever seen.

Sarah: The glyphs are simply the language of us titans. And as such, there are multiple ways of saying the same thing in many languages. Or even words that may exist in one language but not another.

Luz: But what does that have to do with me?

Sarah: Simple: We want to teach them to you. Our languages. Our words. Our magic. We used to do it a lot more, choose certain witches to learn the language of the deities and then spread it to others. But they grew arrogant, prideful, and got fat and lazy.  So, we stopped doing it.

Luz: Then...why teach me?

Sarah: You REALLY need to work on those confidence issues. We want to teach you because you're the first mortal to prove worthy of it in MILLENIA. it's a pretty big deal. Try to look more excited.

Luz: I...I AM. I want to be. It's just...a LOT to take in. What....what exactly would I have to do?

Sarah: Oh, travel our bodies. Face down dangers, trials, perform tasks for others here and there, face down challanges. The Knowledge doesn't simply come to you. It must be earned. I won't lie, it's pretty dangerous. Honestly, back in the day 3 out of 5 of our priests kind of died horribly. Part of the other reason we don't do this much anymore.

Luz: I...already died a horrific death before.

Sarah: We're aware. But, hey, you bounced back! You should be fine.

Luz: Hmm.....could....could I maybe bring my friends along?

Sarah: Sorry. No. Your palisman is one thing but NO ONE else can know about this. You can show them you're magic, but NO revealing the whole "communicating with Titans" thing. Tends to make people do stupid things.

Luz: Yeah, that's true.....

Sarah: So.....?

Luz: ...Alright.

She stands firm.

Luz: I WILL do this.

Sarah: Excellent.

Luz: So.....what now? 

Sarah: Come back to this spot in about two weeks or so. You'll be able to figure out the rest from there.

Luz: Alright...And if I die a horrific death, you'd BETTER bring me back with Titan magic again.

Sarah: Eh. I'll see what we can do.

Luz: Thank you.

Sarah: Thank you, Luz Noceda.

Luz begins to wake up.

Sarah, her voice distant: For keeping our spirit alive…

Luz wakes up, the memories of er dream slowly coming back to her. 

Luz: Woah.....

So, Luz gets a new witches cloak, a travel bag, says goodbye to her friends and family, and, two weeks later, leaves for the first of many "independent magic research trips" She would take over the years. 

[livepoultryfreshkilled]

i'm well aware this is divorced from the original purpose of zombies but as they exist in modern pop culture and general knowledge i'd like to talk about my personal, emotional experience with them. the idea that is. never met a zombie in real life that i know of

okay so i do not like the walking dead, zombieland, apocalyptic horror (just taste based, not my thing, more anxiety/despair inducing than scary) but flicks like night of the living dead, RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD (!!), general concepts of zombies always terrify and enthrall me. the things that have always terrified me abt zombies have been

the degredation of your own humanity and loss of control over ur body and

the kind of suffocating inevitability of the real monster being the virus, because you can kill a zombie but you cant really kill a virus.

this of course has been obviously effected by the current pandemic, which has shown me how inescapable the need for human spaces and contact is, and how many people can be capable of infecting you at once. like just hordes of other human beings. werewolves are wolves and vampires are vampires but zombies are (often) dead people without the capacity for reason. just the loss of yourself not thru death but thru zombification and the lack of humanity in the enemy. there is only so much you can do to keep from being sick, and i fear and dread societal collapse in media, i hate loss i hate it when people don't have their things and i hate when they can't be with each other. as a child i developed a mild agoraphobia until i reasoned that zombies can't climb stairs so any elevated location is safe because people are all over this planet. theyre everywhere! zoo wee mama!

when i say scared i mean my kind of primal childhood fear reactions, because i had a really very bad fear of zombies when i was a smalltime. in terms of now, my conscious view of them, yall know i love izombie and i love in the flesh too, when it comes to classic monsters i pick zombies over vampires and werewolves. this is because i

always feel the need to pay attention to whatever or whoever is getting the least attention. it makes me sad that nobody wants to be a zombie because what if zombies saw that wouldnt they be sad. they dont have any powers they're the underdog here and that's my archetype

generally develop fixations on or fetishes for the things that scare me the most. i feel like me and zombies have been through a lot, they're the monster i grew up thinking about because i was scared of them, and there's this belief i have that monsters won't hurt you if you're kind to them instead of afraid, so it's sort of a coping thing i suppose

i think decay rot and disease and grossness and corruption of the flesh and dead bodies are sick + awesome + cool. totally rules. i LOVE the idea of conscious zombies because to experience the degredation and destruction of your body, but not through pain (werewolves) and to experience your own death but not in the sense of living beyond death alone, stretching into immortality (vampires) but like, being a corpse watching those around you treat you like one but feeling and thinking everything a human does is crazy. eating brains is crazy, thats thoughts, you cant feed on someone you love like a vampire that is permanently destructive and repulsive and messy. awesome

and so ends my catechism (i am going to keep talking about this)

[dandyshucks]

rambling about Guz under the cut hsdhgjkl, CW for abuse and (c)ptsd talk as well as discussion of racism

i've hesitated to say anything about his trauma-caused aggression and anger because i fear it'll be misconstrued by ppl (<- tags on that other post that i'm going off of bc i wanna ramble abt it)

he's not Scary or Violent or Mean. i mean maybe other ppl might view him that way, he might come across that way if you don't know him well, but like.... its trauma. if you were physically abused as a child... yeah. youre gonna come out of that with issues that won't be pretty. you're not going to be the Perfect Victim. you are going to have symptoms and reactions and whatnot that are ugly and difficult and upsetting and hard-to-be-around sometimes.

I am really aware and cautious of the stereotype where many men of colour (mainly black men, but this also includes indigenous men and some other men of colour) are portrayed as being Big and Aggressive, so I have avoided getting anywhere near that, especially since I made the decision to change Guz's skintone in my portrayal of him (which I'm not going to get into, at least rn, but that decision was carefully thought out as well for me). So I always get a bit worried that IF I show any of that side of his trauma, it is going to come off the wrong way.

When I look at him being angry and aggressive in any way, I'm coming at it from the perspective of "this is a man who was a child who was abused and beaten, and he's grown up being taught he needs to Fight, that he needs to be scary in order to be safe, and he is very afraid in a way that translates to anger because that's the way he learned to deal with that emotion." And then we (Guz and co) figure out how to work with that, how to start unravelling all the trauma that's packed into that behaviour, how to start unlearning those reactions and begin working on new ways of Being. He's got a safe environment now, where the people he's around genuinely care about him, where he doesn't have to scare the people around him in order to be respected and safe. Plumes and the squad love him, and Junebug loves him, and he doesn't want to hurt any of them. He also doesn't want to continue that cycle of abuse, doesn't want the grunts or anyone else to feel afraid of him like he was afraid of his dad, nor does he want any of the grunts to feel like they have to be aggressive to be safe in the world.

I'm also aware of the fact that I have white skin even if I am indigenous lol, and the little white-skinned partner appearing to be the "uwu soft niceys" one in the relationship with the big "aggressive" man with brown skin is uhhhh a really fucking awful look! really fucked up! And it's not something I'm interested in presenting to the world, even if it's just in this small circle of the internet. That's a really fucked up dynamic to be putting out there without context lmao.

Anyways, so even if Guz has that shit going on, I'm very careful with how I present it and aware of how it might come across, and if I ever step over any lines, people are more than welcome to holler at me and let me know I've fucked up!

Currently, I figure he was working on shit for a while before my self-insert came along (this is not a case of "i will fix you all by myself" because again... my white skin makes it look like white saviorism, plus I do not think thats a very interesting dynamic for me personally anyways lol, you gotta be putting in a bit of work yourself for me to stick around very long and help you out), and then Junebug showing up was just another motivational force to keep working on his shit. Guz has a good group of people around him and Junebug is just kind of a bonus in the situation. He'd be putting in the work either way, but they're just a little extra boost for him.

I think he’ll always have a bit of a tendency to react with the fight instinct rather than flight or freeze in situations where he is genuinely terrified and doesn’t have time to think through a reaction, but all of the rest of it improves. It’s amazing what a person can change about the way their brain is wired with enough time and effort and support!

[darlingpwease]

I cannot believe you just did that. That's the worst of both worlds. And you went there. I can't believe you.

(눈_눈)... NOOOO NO THATS NOT IT!!! I love the idea smsmsm but I just want you to write it when you want to. If you finish the work, I can't wait to see how you write it out, but if you don't then thats okay too. I promise that I'm absolutely hooked on the idea tho :))) /gen That's fair,, do you have any specific book preferences?? Like mangas, manhwas, novels, that kinda stuff?? I know some novel apps/sites I can recommend if you'd like :))

I can say the same to you bubba <33 The amount of cavities you've given me is insane. The idea of them desperately trying their best to keep you with them is just so ♡♡♡ They realized that there was something... different about you compared to others, they just could never truly place a finger on exactly how. But when your mission keeps getting interrupted because of them, even of the brisk of failing.. the punishment given by failing a certain amount of worlds is something you definitely want to avoid. So no matter how many times you have to reset this world, you are really trying to complete it. But when not only Xie Lian and Hua Cheng are remembering things they shouldn't, doing things they shouldn't,, you're thinking that it might be best to move on to the next world hoping that it will go better... But with Xie Lian and Hua Cheng doing their best, even causing issues with the system itself,, they won't let you leave. You have to stay. They're good, right? You like them,, right?? So you shouldn't leave. You definitely want to stay with them.... Or something hehefhsk

Oh... is that still not a green flag tho?? I think someone being obedient is nice at times... And its not that I have a bad opinion of you,, its just that you're so sly and rotten that I don't know what to do </33 /t /hj 🤨🤨 ..i– listen, Dove,,, I really will do my best. Is my memory the best?? ...not really.. BUT!! I can still put a lot of effort in.

I can't believe you compared the dark water arc to something that isn't even real.... Yes, and cherish them and treat them so well <33 Give them many many kisses n hugs n cuddles and praise them loads <333

He's– he's just so– so uuwwaw <3333 Pretty baby, pretty boy,,, stunning omgomg,, he's just so cute?? And lovable??? And bitable??? Yes!! Yes!! You understand!!! I can see him flirting with you and giving you compliments, but when you reciprocate,, his brain can't help but shut off <33 Him getting so giddy when you call him San Lang, a warm smile across his face as he smiles so blissfully at you,,, he loves it when you praise him. Calling him the cutest boy you've seen, telling him how good he is and how he deserves all of the nicest things, how he deserves to be pampered beyond the heavens <333 he gets all gushy when you do that,, it's one thing when he acts that way to you, but when the roles are switched he needs his brain to reboot for a quick sec.

As usual?? What do you mean by that?? Hm???? >:((

-panna cotta

Hskfjad he's fully aware that you two will meet up eventually. Sometimes it does take longer than others, but whenever it does take longer he can only think about staying with you.

Nothing's stopping him from just... keeping you. You've always come back to him, he has always found you and you've always found him. It's inevitable that it will happen regardless, so why can't he just have you stay forever? Xie Lian can't help but feel frustrated when he thinks about you having to part from him.

You feel the same way. Why do you have to keep repeating this cycle? Living, finding Xie Lian, staying with him until your death, get born again, wait a few years, find him, a constant repeat that never changes. You will always be brought back to him. You just want to stay with him constantly. Not having to change and forget, you want to stay. He can remember, so why can't you? It's never fully, either.

He can recall the first time you two ever met, but you can't. He is prideful of always remembering things related to you, and although you already know his, it's engraved deep into your soul, you can't remember his first reactions to it. How he must've looked when he first discovered his new favorite thing,, how happy did he look? Did he enjoy it right away? Did it gradually grow on him??

Why can't you just stay with him forever? Although you'll always be brought back to him, Xie Lian always makes sure of it, why must you both go through this bittersweet cycle?

Dove, yes what if one day he doesn't find you,, but what if slowly the days he finds you become longer?? He'd have to wait for you for a couple of years either way, but he can't help but feel like the waiting has been growing longer. He hates thinking of that. It's just seeming longer because he misses you. He wants you by his side constantly,, he will always wait for you. He's just desperate for your company. For your touch. For you. That's why it feels longer every time recently.... Right? But when the waiting periods go from years to decades, and those decades frighteningly span from just 3 decades to almost a full century,, the panic and dread filling him shakes every passing hour.

You always come back to him. He always wants to be with you. You always want to be with him. You crave each other, wanting to be with one another constantly. Although this cycle tears you apart from one another, you always find your way back.

It's just eventually all cycles come to a stop, but for the two of you it's not anytime soon. Right?

Can I give a mwah or is it still only kith?? Yesss pretty puppies pretty darlings <<3333 My dog would always lean on me whenever I'd pet him, and I can't help but think of Xie Lian and Hua Cheng happily pressing against you whenever you praise them. Stroke their heads and tell them how good they are, and they're stuck to you for hours <333 I can see Xie Lian doing it more timidly and bashfully, happily pressing up against you with flushed cheeks and a shy smile before hiding his face into your chest or stomach,,, but I can see Hua Cheng energetically going to you. He tries not to be obvious about it, acting nonchalant,, but he constantly drops hints about things he'd done so you could go and praise him,, then he'd happily lean and cling to you <333 They always try to stay close to you too,,, making sure not to stray too far from you, always wanting to be by your side... They're both just so adorable idk what to do <//333

Maybe after taking care of Hua Cheng for so long while waiting for Xie Lian that you accidentally do the same habits... You'd always play with Xie Lians hair, combing it and tying it up all pretty. You'd love to braid it too,, not even in one big large braid, but sometimes just a small single strand that he didn't need to focus on much. But with you now taking care of Hua Cheng, you've accidentally kept that habit with him, not that he's complaining. He loves the way your fingers run through his scalp. At first, Hua Cheng didn't understand why you'd do it, but he dealt with it because you seemed to be happy doing it. Now, he will come up to you and ask if you're okay with doing it when you have time. He happily asks if you can play with his hair, braiding it and even putting things in it. He remembers one time you braided his hair and weaved some flowers in it, it made him happy. You thought he looked nice? You think he looks good with his hair like that?? Do you want to do it again????

Maybe Xie Lian getting jealous when he sees that too,, you did that with him before, it was something you'd do when the two of you spent time together, alone,, and now you're doing it with someone else?? He doesn't even think of the hundreds of others things that you do with just him. He knows how nice and comforting that is, and now you're doing it with someone that isn't him???

Hua Cheng teasing you for curling up on his chest,, but he absolutley adores it when you do <333 He knows that with you still being a will-o'-wisp that his yin energy is comforting,, but the fact that you don't even try to refute his teasing, instead indulging him and teasing back,,, he can't help but be really happy (*ﾉ▽ﾉ) Telling you that you should always try to stick to him, always try to have some form on contact with him so you can gain more energy, totally not so he can touch you more,, (him getting embarrassed by how he reacts with his chest, always trying to tell you, beg you to not touch it,, it's too much,, but still bringing your hands up to it once his mind is all fuzzy, some times not even realizing himself)

Hua Cheng as a Maine Coon and Xie Lian as a Ragdoll confirmed❗️❓❗️❓

You should, because I'm ready to repeat sjshjshsjshsjdhd /t /j

still waiting!!!😚😘 look at him, it's worth poking panna cotta in the side, and he immediately starts to get nervous, as if he was caught eating all the cookies in the house~ /t /affectionate /mwah<333 I think I'll finish it one day, but at the moment, it's still in the process. after all, cute xianxia are now filling my mind😔 I love novels!!! It's a long story where I went from anime to manga, only to realize that I just like to read in a comfortable rhythm</3 very sad story, for right /hj 'I know some novel apps/sites I can recommend if you'd like :))' oh???

listen, but when you restart again, only to realize that your system is crashing while everyone remembers and your 'pretty boys' is looking for you, not letting go, clearly hindering the plot, and the world starts to go crazy while the two main characters are crazy about you? you're trying to do anything, no matter what it leads to, just to get out, but what can you do when their memories overlap on time lines and become mixed, besides how they adore you and adored you in all the storylines, and no matter what you do or where you want to wait out, they are constantly finding you, and it doesn't matter if you rewrite part of the story or make an emergency restart again, they are always here, and when other characters also begin to remember and not forget, you are in absolute shock and horror - and when you realize that your system no longer works in any way except for the little things, while the story begins from the very beginning, it seems to you that you have passed the blackening arch, intending to use them to get through this damn world, realizing that if you can't win, then you need to lead,,,,,

I see, an obedient calf on a string. in general, this is what they say about people who do everything without objections, and it is used more as a pejorative if a person is doing something for no particular reason or meaning, but simply because they were told so. you know how "if everyone jumps off the roof, will you jump too?", but more innocuously. yes yes of course it's this innocent and gentle crumb's fault🙄🙄🙄 mean bully ://// babyboo... it's like the promise of a fish that it will try to breathe with its lungs. come on, come on, you won't promise what's impossible, you need to learn to be humble /t /j /nsrs

if it wasn't real, my panna cotta wouldn't have become blackened from everything that he... ah...... *wipes away tears* my poor white lotus baby booo :(((( /t /j making them cry when it's too much for them, even if Hua Cheng asks you not to stop whispering that everything is fine, or when Xie Lian lets you negotiate with his silk ribbon to tie his hands----

yes yes!!! so kissable and biteable<333 pretty baby cheeks, clinically insane, really good at being handsome<3333 maybe his eyes glaze over if you're away for a long time, and he's a little strange when you want to leave him, whispering hoarsely why you're leaving, why you don't want to stay, why you want to leave him too — but still such a cutie<3333 yes yes yes~ when he is internally torn between "everything you say is true" and "no, he's not handsome, you probably think he's ugly" and you keep saying that he is the most handsome man, young man and boy in your life and just perfect for a husband and he sits!!! husband!!! the perfect husband!!! even if you said it jokingly, he is!!! he's ready!!! he is ready to be your husband!!! when he constantly nervously adjusts his clothes and fidgets, afraid that you will find him ugly, and you look at him only with the thought of how beautiful and irresistible and amazing and incredible he is,,,,, when he is shy to bare himself, even if, well, he knows that he is handsome, but once he sees you, his doubts and shame start moving inside again, because he can't help but worry that you don't think he is handsome, preferring someone prettier than him, and when you drown he's in love and praise, he just doesn't know how to react at first - especially if you're flirting, praising his appearance or e-ming, and he's just so confused and dumbfounded, even if he's very happy hearing your words that sound too good for someone like him,,,,,,,, when you praise him for how handsome and pretty he is, looking up at you, such a good boy so that you can pamper him, and he feels almost shamefully good, being drowned in your adoration and giving no less in return, even if he freezes at first, as if you caught him off guard, looking at you with almost rabbit shock,,,,,,,

I mean, you're just proving it right now, meanie 🤨🤨🤨 /t

listen, but every time it seems to him that your life is getting shorter, while the wait is longer, and these short moments are almost immediately replaced by the sharp pain of loneliness? it hurts him so much when you are not with him, even knowing that you will come back, you always come back, like the spring sun returns to the gardens of winter ice, only his frosts get longer and longer, while your warmth is getting shorter and shorter, as if you are going to decline, and this scares him more than any thing. he knows he shouldn't worry, there's no reason for you not to come back, but you need more and more time, and he can't help but look like a wild dog when he's looking for you, foolishly poking his nose everywhere you can be, just to get you back to where you should be - just wish he could be where he belongs.

he constantly clings, almost abducting you, begging you not to leave him, and you don't want to, but the cycle repeats again and again, taking you away, like the current of a river, with which you struggle to return to your beloved. perhaps the carp that broke the current and reached the gate could become a dragon, but you were afraid that you would never be able to become one for your lover — even when you realize again with bitterness that you should, but you can't, looking for his gaze, only to find a dull disappointment when he thinks that you are not looking, and you realize that it hurts him too, just like you, and you try to break this circle.

and once again it is interrupted.

... you can<3 yes!!! Xie Lian is more calm and shy, but when he sees how to open Hua Cheng, he also starts to be more persistent, although still gentler and softer than him,,,, no matter how different they are, they are equally needy and tenacious, and they cling to you so much that you feel like you can't breathe when they entwine you like vines, not letting you get out of this vicious cycle, but accept their adoration, even when they become even more and more needy because of how you pamper them,,,,, when Hua Cheng puts his chin on your palm for you to stroke him, or tries to do something edible (unsuccessfully) or beautiful (many times better) for you to praise him, while trying not to be too open in his need to get your affection, while Hua Cheng almost waves his metaphorical peacock tail, much more direct, but also easily embarrassed in response to praise, especially unexpected, even if he really asked you for it a little earlier,,,,, When they both lie next to you, trying to snuggle comfortably, and easily find a common language and share ways to snuggle and get your attention, sometimes even cooperating to convince you to let them if single attempts are useless,,,, or when they almost imperiously wrap themselves around you from both sides, as if just the fact that you are dating God and Ghost King is not enough, they must also be obsessive and completely abnormal with you,,,,,,,,

but when you once braided his hair into a braid while he was a child, and now he braids it so constantly because it reminds him of you? and when you start accidentally doing this to him, stroking his soft, black hair, perfect to play with, and your chest is so warm, remembering your Xie Lian, that you can't help but repeat this feeling in your hands, braiding the hair of the unresisting Hua Cheng, not understanding why you are doing this, but it's joyful that you again found his hair good for this — and almost purring when he looks everywhere he can, stroking his braid,,,, when you weave certain flowers into his hair, explaining why you think they suit him, and your voice simultaneously calms and excites him, as if teasing him on the verge of sleep and wakefulness, while your fingers slide through his hair, making him feel like he's at home, while your breath tickles his ear, feeling your arms around his neck, hiding your face in his hair, as you did with Xie Lian, seeking peace in these embraces, but Hua Cheng is not the same as him at all - although for some reason no less calms you like your prince, even when his cold fingers touch yours, slightly intertwining,,,,,,,,,

Listen, if he were less restrained, he would have painted a sign with "welcome home CHEATER" because this is what he experiences when he looks from his hair to Hua Cheng's pigtail, the creator of which he recognizes from a million braids made by other people<///3 he? is jealous of the fact that you braided another person's pigtail? more likely than you think — especially if Hua Chang pretends that he doesn't understand what the problem is, seeing Xie Lian's gaze on his hair, and you also try to pretend that you don't understand what kind of atmosphere is around your lover, but it's hard when he doesn't even try to hide his dissatisfaction, almost crossing his arms and looking with mute reproach, clearly waiting for your explanations, not at all such a cute bunny as you are used to, but rather a jealous wife who waited and looked for you while you flirted with the ghostly king, and even the fact that his door is being repaired does not calm his jealousy too much<//////3

I mean? yes, I am a simp, but anyone if they had a chest like Hua Cheng's and tried to seduce someone, they would bare it, and I guarantee that after you have been constantly pressing against it for a century or even more, looking for yin energy, it becomes almost a reflex, — and he is more than mischievous in this regard, even if this desire to tease is still mixed with worship for you, from which he seems to never be able to get rid of, he owes his life to you, — just to see you pressing your cheek to his chest out of habit, not seeing anything in that, having already managed to get rid of the shame of it for all the time that almost depended on him,,,,, after all, you're still doing it even if you're already more than successful at absorbing smaller ghosts — what's the point if you can just... lie on it??? it's convenient enough and you're used to it, and it's not that anyone dares to tell you how you look - it doesn't matter if you're still a will-o'-the-wisp or have already taken human form, you're constantly either on him or around him, which makes you perceived as his familiar, if only he did not treat you as carefully and tenderly as his darling, whom he constantly indulges and is gentle, especially while you are a will-o'-the-wisp, not interested in anything other than becoming stronger than he uses, guiltily indulging himself in stroking you and cuddling you to himself,,,,,,

yes!!! maine coon!Hua Cheng is a very nice and well-mannered cat, but if you don't pay attention for a long time, and he starts to be naughty and whimsical and look at you with huge innocent eyes until you take this huge carcass on your lap to be crushed, and ragdoll!Xie Lian, who is almost phlegmatic and moderately playful, but follows you everywhere like a dog, because just like Hua Cheng does not tolerate separation from you, but not so loud and mischievous,,,,, you know, this is the ideal type of cats who love to sit on their knees and on their hands, but only for you, and are shy indifferent (Xie Lian) or rude (Hua Cheng) to others. in fact, you will have to sleep almost on the floor or a very low bed, since Xie Lian, due to the breed, has muscle relaxation and cannot group normally when falling, which is why he has a risk of injury, but constantly wants to sleep with you, while Hua Cheng just uses this to block your oxygen<////3

[blackvahana]

I think people really need to understand that because you can't feel very well in the astral, and because violence is more common place there, violence does register in your mind like video game violence a lot of the time. The reason video game violence doesn't bother us that much isn't because it's a video game, our genetic coding doesn't have a "and this is how you process what happens in a simulation on a flat screen of lights caused by spinning metals in a big metal cage" coding like it has coding on how to react to things shaped like snakes. It has a "this isn't close enough to me to be triggering my major senses like touch, smell, and so on, isn't happening in a time setting that's right now and right here, isn't happening to people in my close circles, isn't hurting or taking away things or people forever that I otherwise want or need, and seems to be a story of fiction rather than a one-to-one retelling of a horrendous real act, therefore I don't need to spend all my precious brain and adrenaline and energy power to respond drastically to it" coding. If you can't feel the astral fully well, and/or you're dealing with spirits you don't really see as important, and/or the severe forever-ness of someone's death and the rippling implications of terror and grief going through all their family and friends hasn't affected you, and/or you're not in a headspace of this being real - if you treat this like it's a story, or arw LARPing fiction, or just plain relate the experience to fiction because you hear about it in stories (think about how wanting to be a "hero" makes people act weirdly out of touch, they're not trying to enact fiction they're just getting wires crossed) - you're physiologically not capable of understanding the weight of your violence on the world.

Understanding is a visceral thing, understanding you've destroyed something that can never come back, caused the now-deceased's kids to scream and scream and scream until they throw up who look at you with terror glazing over into traumatised thousand yard stare, understanding that the blood on your hands is warm and that warmth is fading because you just took something like your own body, another Person, apart, thats something that isnt just floating words of "haha GGs in chat - I mean uh. That was a fun fight!" but a visceral knowing. That, you don't get from distance, you're physiologically supposed to weigh up severity, your inclusion, and reality of a situation based on sensory data to tell you how much you should care in order to conserve precious resources that should only be spent in dire violent and death-related situations... and if you can't feel the death and violence, you won't be able to understand it as death and violence.

I'm not saying to understand you have to feel bad, no, not at all. A lot of us need to shut off to get violence done. I'm saying that unless you feel the gravity of a situation you're not truly understanding it, even if shutting off is a necessity. Maybe you don't need to understand... But the thing is: so long as violence and death is traumatising, and you're willingly engaging in violence and death without actually properly treating it seriously, you will not understand the weight of your actions. So long as you don't understand the weight of your actions and you choose to go through astral violence like a video game - again, video games are just one type of this distant, uninvolved, may-as-well-be-pure-fiction ways of interacting with the world, this is another - then... you're purposely blinding yourself to what's actually going on. You had better just pray that one day you don't wake up more connected with the astral, more aware of what you're doing, more in touch with how spirits work and whatnot, realising and remembering now you watched the life drain out of not one person, not two, but however many you killed to have fun and feel fulfilled

At the end of the day... Killing people traumatises people. When people are present in what they're doing, a single manslaughter incident for us on this plane will destroy the perpetrators life. A single accidental death by our hands is programmed within us to tear us apart. People lose the ability to sleep without the nightmares of watching crumpled bodies on the sidewalk under motorcycles they hit, hearing the screaming metal and the dead silence of the person who didn't have time to scream whose brain is smeared with their limbs across pavement, they have onlooker's terror, the moments where innocent beings look at them and the scene and make weird, scratchy noises of fear and repeat the phrases "oh my god, oh my god" over and over, who can't move outside paced circles, face contorted, limbs dangling in weird ways because they were halfway through moving them when it happened and now their whole body is short circuiting, entire trajectoires of their lives altered.... This burns into people's psyche, not memories, not life, but their entire being. We are hardwired to be traumatised by death.

You may not see what the faces of your victims look like when they die, you may not have their family walk in as you kill them. You may not see what their death really looks like, because the astral is highly perception-based and spirits and places can have their appearances shift like mirages...

The reason that the manslaughter perp-victims on this plane get traumatised where video game players don't is because they're fully present in the situation, and the situation's weight is weighing down on the reality of the viewer, so all senses process it. The more you do astral stuff, the more you regain memories of past astral encounters you hadn't remembered or experienced outside of projecting, and the more you remember details of sensations - sight included - of things you did when you projected. The more practice you get, the more past memories clear up and you'll realise you vividly seeing a video game location and video game characters was actually just general spirits putting on masks for you - all this is speaking from experience, including this point here, maybe your world will be true but the astral always has multiple perceivable experiences and multiple layers of truth as real-looking as this plane. I've had past astral events gain horrific, stomach-dropping new twists and realisations because I wasn't conscious of things back then, and I was missing key information about the spirits I worked for not being who they said they were and who were getting me to engage in their shit because I was supposedly a part of their group, born to be a part of them, oh, I did so well as a part of them... Oh, I knew nothing. I was playing games with violent, horrific people who treated violence casually and not so seriously because they were "real versions of video game characters", and so what I took part in was very real, but very subconsciously unreal. I had no fucking clue what I'd gotten into and I thought I knew exactly what I'd gotten into because I was in the astral interacting with people right in front of me! I saw them! I touched them! I knew their rules, their motives, I understood what they stood to gain from violence! The more the years passed the more I realise I was so, so wrong because I was missing information, and I'm so fucking lucky I wasn't allowed the "honour" of taking part in their violence.

The more you play with astral violence thinking and believing it's what cartoon candy gore artwork is to hyper violent horror movies - the more you paint over fighting, hurting beings, trying to kill beings, and so on with fancy propaganda and ideals of light and love and cleansing, or any type of radical ideals that force grey beings into black or white boxes of saved or sent go the slaughter... the more you'll probably see your hyper violent actions as candy gore, and I mean that literally. You will see what you want to see in the astral (to some degree, obviously there's a difference between the Mental Realms and the astral) so you will see your righteous fun... until you get bored and choose to actually let the astral show you itself and then ah yeah, there's the lives you ruined, there's the widow of the "beast" you slayed who tried to kill herself after you took her life away, here's the village that was slaughtered after you killed its leader who was trying to keep the peace, and yeah, these are the true identities of the "demons" or whatever modern day version of that word you put on them. You saw them as fictional characters and fictional races but did no research, because why would someone recruiting you to kill tell you all about all the mark does right in the world if they want to radicalise you into killing them.... If you're not working for someone of something and therefore aren't even gstting this skewed information... Well, you've even more to see about the people you've killed then

It's just a matter of betting on, when you're better at this, if you're willing to relook at what you've done, if you're able of stomaching this when you have more information. When this is no longer registering like a video game, can you handle the smell of someones innards when your astral body and conscious mind synapse-spark and connect information and make you consciously aware of everything you missed? It's betting on, unless you stay in the fantasy world for your whole astral career, you being able to stomach details like the guts smeared across the walls and be fine... Or it's a matter of betting on whether you'll never meeting the living victims of your crimes and therefore never have to deal with mass despair or not. Because honestly... You do something drastic? It always has consequences. Either you get the consequences or someone else does, but probably both unless you're naturally violent and uncaring about victims which statistically you probably aren't, I don't think most people doingg this are! And if you haven't gotten those consequences yet... The body remembers.

The body remembers, and the body is programmed to hate this to a point where it never, ever, ever forgets it, not in dreaming, not in waking. The impact just comes when you understand and feel the sensory data. Are you willing to bet that your body is gonna be the one in a hundred that will be unaffected by this when the waves of realisation hit?

[traumatizeddfox]

Mentally abuse victim here, I have heard ppl said "revenge on ur abuser by living" but I think that quote is actually not that great even if it mean well. for 2 reasons.

1. The abuser (mentally,physically) won't always care if they see u still standing after everything they have put you throught. and if u turn out to be succesful,they would take credit for "make u stronger" (idk how that would be applied to csa/SA or r4pe, but many of them only care when u got them involved in legal trouble)

2. Because every abuse victim deserves to heal because we are worth of happines, of being succesful,enjoy life,not to spite our happines as a revenge for our abusers,bc they not worth of it,but ourselves.

I feel like we have to focus on healing,tried to get the best,even if it's hard. At least something that make us happy. And then when the opportunity comes,seek revenge.

Despite having low self esteem, I'm aware that I deserved better, that I need to get better because I don't want to have depression anymore, even if I had accostumed it for years because If I really would feel better or sm and it feels like a toxic relationship. I know I need happiness,finish my studies,help my mom,heal every trauma I have for myself because I'm tired feeling like this, then focus on revenge.

I don't want to sound rude or not empathizing. It's just a pov.

I agree with this!! i just think i like the quote because i know if i were to kill myself he would think he was the reason and would win, so in my own silly head it helps me but if it doesnt help u thats ok!!

[eclaire-went-bam]

one thing that i've found interesting about narc abuse truthers, is that they very often claim a narcissist won't ever have the capability or self-awareness to search within themselves and understand something's wrong, because they're so full of themselves or they don't want to do the work

while simultaneously demonising the disorder and making it even harder for people to be comfortable with that sort of introspection?

i think in general, our society is really weird about vanity and confidence. you must be confident and have some ego, but if you give yourself too much a pat on the back, even if you're not being toxic about it, it's seen as strange, almost. maybe too much. especially if you don't frame it in some humble way, like "i think i did this well" or "i tried to look good"

most characters portrayed as disagreeable in media have some sort of ego and aren't humble about it, a lot of protagonists are either humble about it or have lower ego, or use it in charismatic quips.

so when someone hears "narcissistic" in "narcissistic personality disorder," there's automatically that "oh, the vanity" type of disgust— even without hearing about "narc abuse" and the like

that being said, who would want to be associated with that on it's own? that pool shrinks even more when most sites online have a very ableist general opinion on npd, or have multitudes of posts about "narc abuse"

if someone turned around and called a self-proclaimed empath a narcissist, would they like it? no? if someone turned around and called your average joe who isn't chronically online a narcissist, would they like it? no? what makes you think someone with undiagnosed npd would like it, especially when that actively makes them look like a worse person?

maybe if you changed the way you spoke about npd and stopped clogging google with narc abuse falsing, more people with npd would be less averse to looking into the possibility they may have it

even in their own ableist worldview, they are part of the problem they're talking about

oh also generally speaking i do think it should be normalised for egotypicals to not need to be modest about something they're super proud of. i feel like that's a good first step that'll just help everybody anyways.

cut for my personal experience. not that i feel uncomfortable sharing it, i don't, i just feel like i've already said what i wanted to say. some people may find this relatable though idk

npd was really difficult for me to consider because of this. i'd done so many hours of research and even then it took me a long time to be able to say this, not to mention even talking about it openly. although i was exposed to pro "scary" mental health conditions stuff before the ableist stuff online (by some miracle), i still did see the ableist stuff. although i knew it was all wrong, i couldn't help but shake the unconscious conclusion that "if i'm not this, then i'm better." i knew what others thought of npd, so my imaginary way of getting on people's good sides was to simply not have it. thats how i'd gain the admiration of others, even if realistically they'd never know this

even after i came to the conclusion "oh jeez i probably have this" — after multiple years of it impeding every aspect of my life in both positive and horribly negative ways — i couldn't bare the thought that i'd be marked until the day i die. i'll have this, until my brain becomes food for the earth. i have this bug, that no matter what, i can't scrape away. and what made it worse (better?), is that the bug was simultaneously saying "oh hell yeah now i'm more interesting and cooler than anyone else in this room !!"

i'm going to be a bad person forever, when i wanted to be admired by everyone. it doesn't matter what sort of way i act, because this is in my closet, i'm just a bad person (Rhetorical)

and now that i have accepted i might have this, i can't even get help for it after reading all the horror stories !!! so like...what now ? what do the narc abuse truthers reasonably expect me to do .

[ducknotinarow]

2012 Karai - All Symbol Headcanons please uwu

| Send me a symbol and I will write a headcanon about…  For multimuse blogs, please specify!

Personally speaking Karai is a very big favorite of mine being always in-between as an ally and enemy of the turtles. 2012's take is a favorite of mine though I do still sort of prefer 03's back story. Personal hot take I just don't care for her being Splinters daughter Miwa. It didn't really go anywhere and I am sad that she never got to like bond with the turtles after the reavel and such? Sure they risk a lot to try and save her but really only Mikey seems to see her like a sister. Which is sad to me I feel we could have seen some fun dynamics with her more included. But I won't get into that XD once again this is mostly going towards the Foot!Casey au. But anything not outright directed to that can be applied to Karai over all.

𝓕 : My muse’s handwriting. (Is it good, bad, difficult to decipher, do they prefer writing by hand or with the help of some form of machine, e.t.c.) 

"A steady hand is needed when you deal with weapons." From Karai's hand writing we can she is sensible, even tempered and rational. She can be optimistic. well also being discreet and value silence. She notice everything and pays great attention to detail. Karai is a careful, methodical thinker.

Which I would say is a fitting result on here handwriting. Before I break down into that i'm sure you noticed the lack of a surname in her's that is on purpose. As Karai tries to sever her ties with her father even dropping her name, despite Karai needing to be kept to the shadows and such her father dose hold some ties mainly in Japan. So Karai legally gets emancipated. She is of age to be able to do it after all.

back to her hand writing results, Karai is a sensible person she likes to have all the information before she acts. She isn't often motivated by her own emotions even openly dissing her father on his obsession saying he needs a hobby. Karai can hold her temper and act much more rational. But she can sometimes get trigger into actting on her own emotions where they too much and this is when she tends to go against her usual ways. Jumping in head first with no plan or course of action her drive is to hurt. Surprisingly she can be pretty optimistic but thats a survival tactic being the daughter of Shredder offers a pretty bleck life so anything that can be something good to hold on to she needs too. Rather it's finally getting justice for her mother to making sure her Brother and sister finally can be free. Taking into account she is a kunoichi discreet and silence is just ingrained into her. Along with her need to pay attention to detail.

As how shes able to pick apart April's lies about the turtles when mention she has four brothers who speak Japaneses and such. Or how she is too damn aware of how people carry themselves able to mock the body language needed to fool others. When her emotions are not ruling her actions she very good at planning steps ahead. Able to get the better of many for her thought and plans alone. Emotions are her only true weak spot.

✈ : My muse and  traveling. (If they do it frequently and why, if they never left their home town, e.t.c.)

"I really only been to Japan and New York." Karai didn't outright join Shredder until a bit later she grew up in Japan where Shredder main base for the foot clan resides and a lot of her training was. She later moved to New York so she could join her father on his revenge mission. Working as his right hand almost. Outside of this Karai hasn't travel around too much in her life. But it's something she would love to do more.

✿ : My muse and nature. (If they are an ‘outdoorsy type’, like the sound of bird’s singing, if they have never set foot in a forest, e.t.c.) 

"I know how to survive if having to go into the woods if that's what you mean?" Sort of, Karai isn't big on camping and such shes a tad prissy this way. Not that she'll be against it she just ain't having much fun sleeping in the dirt. She rather stay up and play look out. So no she isn't all to connected to nature. Funny considering she is part snake now?

☼ : My muse’s first memory. (Where it was, who was with them, how this memory makes them feel, e.t.c.) 

"First memory? it could be a dream but I swear it's real. Looking at a women with long dark hair telling me sorry."

Karai's first memory is also the day she lost her mother int the fire. Her mother was trapped in the building that ended up getting set on fire thanks to the fights going on. Her mother was trapped under some of the roofs structure trapped her. She just has the word sorry trapped in her mind. Karai is positive that memory is the day she lost her mother. The vague memory just fits so while to the photo she has of her mother. But for all she knows she made up that memory.

☙ : My muse’s favourite food. (Bonus: A memory, be it good or bad, associated with said food.)

"If a certain red colored turtle hurts my brother? I know someone who can make them into turtle soup for me."

It will be turtle soup if Raph ever hurts Casey. But I would say her favorite food is Baozi. She prefers them with bean paste more of treat but sell eat the kinds with meat and veggies as well. If going more savory she likes pork. In part it's why she took so well to the pizza goyza almost being close to her own favorite food. It's something easy to eat and you don't really need to sit down and eat.

♬ : My muse and music. (What type of music they like listening to and in what context, what music they would never listen to, e.t.c.)

"hmm not big on music anything that's good is fine, i just have natural good taste."

Karai come across ver underground music lover, indie artis and such she not to fixed on a style of music punk rock may be a norm but sometimes she'll branch out.

I feel Karai is the type to indulge her lost childhood healing towards her inner child she has a guilty pleasure enjoyment for musical songs from Disney movies, shows and more. Can blame it on watching those kind of movies with angel but she can and has been caught humming them to herself at times. And sometimes the songs hit her a bit too close to home.

↺ : My muse and the past. (Do they live in the past and struggle to let go of past grievances, or move on more easily, is there anything in their past they want to forget, e.t.c.) 

"I guess I do when it come to my mother." Karai never got to know her mother, take from her when she was just a baby. Karai often tries to hold anything she can as a connection to her even down to the flower she claims is her favorite. Purely based on knowing her mother loved them. Karai dosen't care much for her fathers vendetta against Yoshi, not till he tells her he killed her mother then she sees them as her enemy. April stating she lost her own mother was also enough to trip her up and give the lesser experienced fighter a chance to beat her. Karai often wonders if shes anything close to the person her mother would want her to be.

Karai after things with Casey goes down even more so worries about this, feeling she is willing to sell her soul to be rid of the demon she now see's their father as. She is certain her mother wouldn't want her to let revenge eat away at her. But she could have lost someone important to her someone who sort of filled the void left by her mother in her life. She Nearly lost Casey because of Shredder same as she lost her mother to him. Letting him live means her loved ones will always be in danger.

She may not be too different from her father in the end stuck in the past and letting revenge become an obession.

☾ : My muse and sleep. (How much they sleep, how much they wish to sleep, if there is something that never fails to put them to sleep, e.t.c.) 

"Periodically, I sleep through the night most I don't. I must be alert often after all."

Karai is pretty light sleeper something she was trained as when studding under her teacher. She never knew when he would strike so she got used to sleeping as light as possible that way she could both work off little sleep leaving a moment of weakness out of her but also meaning when she can sleep she only dose in short periods of time. She gets by with a near like nap like of sleep.

✧ : My muse and art. (If they have an artistic side or not and why, favourite artist if they have one, e.t.c.) 

"Eh not my thing, next?"

Shes no artist but I like to think she likes looking at Casey's drawings as they grew up.

❃ : My muse and social media. (If the muse is/would be on social media and why/why not, their general opinion on it, e.t.c.) 

"I'm in the foot clan we don't do that?"

Casey might use some but Karia not really at all, she only joined twitter as an act of rebellion since they are meant to not take part of the world and remain unknown and hidden from it. Thier father pissed her off one night so see made an e-mail and a twitter. Pretty sure she had to get Casey to help with both. As mentioned she only has Twitter and she hardly looks at it when she dose it's most just for aesthetic posts from Japan or China. Or overly decorated weapons.

Eventually she starts using it to follow indie musicians and find out where they are holding shows that she will sneak out to go watch. She still not all to versed in how twitter works she can't figure out how to save the cool poster made up for flyers for a lot of the musicians get made up on to her phone. Casey don't be rude please show her again u-u

✉  : My muse and others. (If they social and outgoing or more introverted, and why. If they prefer communicating with others face to face or in written form, e.t.c.). 

"I'm clearly a people person?"

She is far from a people person. Karai may be very observant which is a great skill but she knows nothing on interacting with people. This is actually why she wasn't picked for the mission to betray the turtles. She lacks social skills very very badly and it's not hard to see why. She isn't too good about blending in either. Shes very stand offish and cold. And a clear required taste not someone who can go behind enemy lies and not come across as a possible threat.

This even extends to her and Casey. She may be able to tell he is lonely but she doesn't understand past this why he keeps away so much. She can easily read a person buuuut interaction comfort and just stuff most people learn from growing up? even empathy? shes has a glaring spot of lacking that skill set. It's a big part of why it's a miracle she even has Shin as a friend.

▶ : My muse and level of education. (If the muse has some form of education, what education they perhaps wish they had, e.t.c.). 

"All my schooling is home, dad wasn't cutting corners and made sure the best of the best taught me." More reason why she is bad at interactiong and even just acting her age she never went to a public school always home school with best teachers money could buy. Karai is very smart she graduated early even. As stated she is very good with computers with their piratical uses and can even trick Donatello or least give him an annoyance so that's where I would set her intelligence.

◐ : My muse and animals. (If they like animals and treat them well, do not care for them at all, e.t.c.). 

"hmm I did want a pet as a kid." Karai was lonely of course she wanted something like a cat or a dog but she never got one. But that didn't stop her from getting attached to stray animals here and there. Sneaking food out to alley cats and homeless dogs. She has a bit of a soft spot for them.

❒ : My muse and gifts. (If they are good/bad at finding gifts, good/bad at receiving gifts, good/bad at wrapping gifts, e.t.c.) 

"Five finger discount works well." I feel like despite being rich Karai knows how to steal and dose it way to often it's fun she doesn't even want the stuff but sometimes it hard to not steal? So lets just say when she is feel extra nice Casey may be gifted better eyeliner and such and Angel new dolls or things that she can use for her dolls. So I'd say shes a good gift giver and long as you don't care where it comes from? Just enjoy the present.

☘ : My muse’s relation with their family. (If they speak with each other and how much, if they are close or estranged, e.t.c.). 

"It's well, yeah."

Mother- Karai's mother is her whole world, she never met her but she is always on her mind and carried in her heart. Desperately hopes to avenge her own mother's death by killing her true killer. Even though she doesn't know what her mother was actually like, she cares deeply for her and is even carries a torn-off, dilapidated photo of her mother around with her. And Karai wishes to be more like her but she has become her father instead and choose to which is worse but she rather burn in hell if she can right somethings.

Father- actually quite complicated. She seems to fear the Shredder at certain times, but obeys him. She doesn't hold much respect for him more out like most teens with their parents. Often makes remarks and argue with him. But she still saved him a very times when he could have died still seeing him as her father first. Until she learns how he has been treating Casey and that its the reason Casey goes to kill himself.

Angel- Her younger sister, she and Angel bond over the fact neither of them ever got to met their mother. Sometimes it's hard to understand a connection you should have with someone you never even met. Karai on her own end has a tend more of a motherly older sister approach to Angel because of this. It's why shes in comparison nice to Casey. She often can be found brushing Angel's hair and styling it, if Angel dose wish to make her own like Karais she would help with dying it even. Angel could ask anything of Karai nearly and she would do it with out hesitation. She wants Angel to get what she and Casey didn't the pleasure of being a kid.

Casey- Karai and Casey are the same age but Casey is older only by a bit so for a few times during the year he is older. Despite this all Karai dose learn to sort of lean on Casey as if he is the older sibling. She's not the best as being open and vulnerable but she has exposed this side to Casey. Telling him about her mother and such at least something he relates to with her on and over. Casey is a very soft and caring person and Karai honestly could out right tease him by saying he acts like a mom but she dosen't because she likes that about him. How he worries about her and gets on her case even. Casey is a lot of things to Karai. So she will do anything for him as well, she would have helped him with the turtle even without their bet. When she dose find him after his suicide attempt she sees that she could have lost someone who has impacted her life in ways she wasn't aware of before. And its the last straw for her when it comes to their abusive father.