#I'm trying to make my knees feel better I've been better this whole year and I'm so pissed off I don't wanna go to the doctor

[lucianinsanity]

.

[changisworld]

Who ever said fours a crowd?

3Racha X reader

word count:6,400

Summary: You & your boyfriend, Changbin, have both just started dating & he brings up the idea of inviting his long time & your long time friend, Chris, into the bedroom to help teach him how to pleasure you just right, since he was still a bit 'new' to sex, but you all forgot Jisung, their roommate, is also home.

18+,MDNI! smut below the cut.

©ANY translation, copy & paste, posting of my work is strictly forbidden for ANY posts/ writing i post.

main masterlist here

->SMUT WARNINGS: mxmxmxf, mxm, frottage( mxm), mentions of past encounters, PIV, oral (f rec), manhandling(??), praise, protected sex, unprotected sex, cum eating, multiple orgasms, size kink, anal play (m rec), anal(m rec) reader has a WAPPP, shy binnie, fingering(f rec), perv!Jisung, nipple/tit play, spit, Binnie is insecure at the start but reader doubles down & calms him down, mentions of a second round<3

->What better way to thank you all for 1K, 1.1K ANNND 1.2K followers than to do a 3racha smut? But seriously thank you so much, I haven't even been posting on here for 8 whole months & despite so many breaks in between you've all been so patient with me so thank you thank you thank you<3

You have been talking to Changbin for over an hour by this point in his shared apartment's living room, trying to figure out some boundaries, the reason for this being because you were both making out while a random movie was playing & you took it upon yourself to try take it a bit.. further, as your hand moves down to cup over his bulge, before the poor baby squirmed away from you, leaving you confused.

"It's not that I don't want it, I do! I just, I'm scared in case I won't be good at it, I've only slept with two people four times & I like you too much to disappoint you in case you don't like it" he murmurs, sounding embarrassed of what he had just said, avoiding to look at you sitting against the arm of the couch, playing with a loose thread attached to a couch cushion.

"Binnie, we don't need to do anything I'm more than happy to wait, but don't think of yourself like that, you're being silly, is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable? cmere" you respond, pulling him towards you anyways until he shuffles himself forwards on the couch so both of your crossed legs knees are touching.

“It’s not a you problem so no there’s nothing you can do to make me any more comfortable, i’m just too nervous, i feel like i need someone to show me how to do it or something, wanna be good for you” he whimpers as he pulls you into him, his back landing on the sitting part of the couch & you landing on top of him & you cup his puffy cheeks in your hands.

"Binnie I wouldn't judge you for it, I've felt your cock before & I know you'd be just fine, promise! Why n-" you cut yourself off when the front door to your boyfriends apartment opens, his best friend of years & a now close-ish friend of your own, Chan.

"Ah, heya you two, why do you both look like you've seen a ghost, what's up?" he says as he tosses his backpack on the floor beside the messy, cluttered shoe rack & it's only when he says this you process how shocked you must look to have seen him, Changbin looking a bit startled too.

"Hi chan, you just gave us a fri-" "Hyung, we were both just talking about something n I wanna ask you something!" Changbin says, cutting you off, turning his body on the couch to look behind him enough to properly look at who he's talking to, & Chan just nods as he walks over & slumps himself on the couch, next to changbin as he angles himself so he can look at you both at the same time before crossing his legs.

"Okay so, I wanted to know if you'd, help me with something Hyung" he goes on & if you looked like you'd seen a ghost before, it must look like you've been placed in the centre of a haunted house at this point. You open your mouth to speak but Chan beats you to it by telling him to continue.

"Okay, so, Ah I don't know how to ask!" he tries to joke to shake off his nerves, before continuing on. "Me & y/n were talking pretty much, & we both already know that with our schedule it's almost impossible to have time for people & also, sex? & I don't wanna disappoint y/n with my.. lack of experience, so to speak & I don't want my first experience with her to be better than just good, so I want you to help us" he blabs out, his voice sounding 'normal' on surface level, but you & chan know he is exploding with nerves.

Chan looks at him & then at you with surprise, not really knowing how to react, 'if i say yes straight away will I look desperate?' 'what if this is just a prank?' races through his head multiple times & words semi permanently die in his throat.

"The offer is only there if y/n is okay with it too though! If it's a no, we can forget I even asked you, don't feel pressured at all, just an idea." he says to chan before turning to you & he rests his hand on your knee, caressing it, which helps calm yourself down & he offers you his cute, soft smile.

"Binnie, we really don't need to do this, stop getting into your own head, I don't want this to negatively affect you in any way." you finally speak up & Chan nods his head at your reply.

"It won't, I wouldn't offer or suggest it if it would, we really don't need to do it, it's all in your hands" he responds softly & you can't help but feel like he really is being 100% truthful, & of course he is, & you come to the conclusion that if he is ready to do all of this just to pleasure you right, you can't really not help out.

"Okay Bin, I'll do it, Only if you're also okay with it Chan, obviously, but also if you're okay with it Binnie, like.. fully okay" you speak & Binnie leans forward enough to take your hands, caressing those instead. "Of course i'm fine with it! What are your thoughts Hyung? If you don't wanna do it, it's completely fine, we can forget it ever happened" Changbin blabs, the both of you looking at Chan, his eyes already glued on you both.

"Lemme have a bit of a think about it & I'll come back to you a lot about it, it's a big thing to just say yes to" he replies before he stands back up & leans over to purposely mess up your boyfriends curly hair, chuckling to himself before he makes his way to his room, the dim, purple LED lights in your vision as you watch him close the door behind him.

***

It’s been a day since you, Changbin & Chan had that talk & in all honesty, it’s all you could think about. ‘Have you embarrassed yourself by saying yes so quick?’ ‘will changbin think differently of me for saying yes?’ ‘what if chan changes his mind & i look like a freak for agreeing without him agreeing’ are the three main things that race through your mind, no matter how much you try forget about it, it’s just impossible!

The guys are doing something in the studio at the minute, & you decide to try deep clean your boyfriend’s bedroom to take your mind off it.

You strip the bed, of course finding a pair of your underwear.. or two inside his pillowcase, but you don’t bother to even question it, honestly quite flattered that he is so nervous to do anything with you physically but doesn’t think twice about stealing your used panties to jerk off to.

You re-fold his messy clothes that have just been thrown into the drawers, not too many noticeable creases in them to the point you feel the need to iron them, before plopping yourself back on the now fresh sheeted bed, a bit worn out from all the work you’ve just done.

As if it could be called perfect timing.. or worst timing, you hear Chan & Changbin get back to the apartment & you quickly realise they sound completely like normal, giggling about stuff you don’t understand & you take a sigh of relief, thinking that it won’t be as awkward if & when you have to face Chan again.

They part ways as Changbin returns to his bedroom, his eyes widening slightly at the tidied room & he is quick to pretty much leap on top of you, pecking you all over your cheeks before holding his upper half with his arm muscles as he looks down at you, a hand of his on each side of your head, laying on the bed.

"Chan spoke to me by the way, he said he will help us, are you still okay with all of this? I don't wanna make you uncomfortable y/n & you can seriously tell me if you don't wanna do it, or if you have any doubts whatsoever we can just tell him we changed our mind, If i have to force myself to man up, i'll do it." he murmurs, a bit shy in what he says, not usually being so forward with you unless it's just flirting, his chubby cheeks flushed red & his hair still a bit damp above you with sweat from the gym not too long prior.

You are honestly surprised at the fact Chan actually said yes, especially with how long it took for him to come to a conclusion, not that you were rushing him in any way, but you mostly thought that because you hadn't heard anything, it would have been a no.

"It's fine Binnie, I haven't changed my mind, but I still want you to be involved, I don't wanna fuck another man in front of you & you not doing anything." you suggest, but it's not really a 'suggestion' & it will only happen if he is involved, your mind is completely made up about it & Changbin is quick to nod at your words.

"I was planning on that anyway! I don't wanna be a complete cuck y/nnie I still need to be taught!" He pouts before lightly knocking on your shoulder in the same way you notice he loves to hit his members when he's happy or flustered before he nuzzles himself in your neck, not caring that he is pretty much inhaling your hair, the faint smell of the shampoo he also uses coating the strands.

"So uh, when does he.. wanna do it?" you ask, taking the time to rake your fingers through his curly & slightly frizzy hair & Changbin leans into your touch, tensing when your fingers hit his sweet spot.

"He said to just tell him when we want it, why, you want it that bad?" he teases you & you jokingly push him off of you & he can't help but giggle.

"it's not like that Bin! Just wanna see you & also it makes sense to kinda.. do it now-ish? because Jisung is gone so there's more privacy & Jisung is usually glued to Chan's hip if not Minho's!" you murmur, your ears burning red as you avoid his eyes with your own as you then flip onto your stomach & your legs sway slowly back & forth as you reach to play with Changbin's poodle hair.

"That's true, do you want me to get him like... now? I don't know how to go around this, should I let you shower or something first if you want?" Changbin suggests, pulling you into him, hugging you & you move your head to give him a peck on the nose before eskimo kissing him, which makes you both giggle.

"I showered earlier, I don't know what to do either, we can just go with the flow mkay? It's Chan who's joining us, not the other way around so we have the power in our hands, if we don't like it or change our minds i'm positive he won't mind." you respond & Changbin nods beneath you.

"You're right, I'ma go get him, mkay? It only goes as far as you want it to, so don't be scared to tell Chan no!" he says as he wriggles from you & blowing a kiss to you which you pretend to catch before he leaves the room & you can't help but chew the inside of your cheek with anxiety.

A couple of minutes later, Chan is trailing in behind your boyfriend & he is wearing a lot comfier of an outfit than what you usually see him wearing to the gym, going for some plain grey sweatpants & a tank top & his wide shoulders & his big biceps that are so deliciously toned & the veins running up his arms, which you don't fail to miss.

Chan shuts the bedroom door behind him & Chan takes it upon himself to sit beside you on the bed, before signalling Changbin to sit on the opposite side, you now being sandwiched between them both.

"Okay so uh.. are you completely okay with all of this y/n? Don't be scared of hurting my feelings because trust me you won't, we just want everything to be completely clear." Chan speaks out, his australian accent decorating his voice which you can't help but take a lot more interest in now given what is going to take place.

"I'm sure, don't stress it, Binnie wants help & he trusts you to do that & besides, you're an attractive guy so why would I turn it down" you chuckle & Chan returns it, not being able to stop himself from blushing.

"So uh, Bin, what is it that you want me to 'teach' you?" he looks past you & over to your boyfriend, who is playing with a loyalty ring he bought you when he first asked you to be his girlfriend with his fingers.

"Uh, kinda.. everything? But I still need to be involved, y/n wants that." he says, a chirp in his voice as his hand tightens around yours & you smile at Chan, confirming his words & Chan nods.

"Okay, so what are your guys.. limits? Yes, no's & maybe's?" Chan questions, his voice trying to sound nonchalant but it's not hard to pick up on the fact he is probably even more nervous than you or Changbin are.

"Uhh, I can't really think of anything, oh wait, no cumming inside or wear a condom" you speak & Chan nods again, his eyes widening slightly, not expecting to have been having the opportunity to fuck you tonight.

"Okay, Changbin, I have condoms in my left side second drawer, can you go get me a condom?" he asks as he moves his hand to rest on your thigh & Changbin hums a yes response before leaving & Chan takes it upon himself to lean in & kiss you the second you look at him & both of your lips fall into place pretty much instantly.

You're quick to notice how soft his lips are around yours as he takes control of it, you get so lost in it you barely register the fact that your boyfriend had already made his way back into the room.

"You guys look hot together, I don't know if i should be extremely turned on or jealous" Changbin remarks, his dimples poking in his cheeks as he sits behind you this time before pulling you up the bed so you're sitting between his spread legs with your back against his chest & Chan is quick to follow, setting himself facing you between your own legs.

"Maybe you just have a kink for it, can see the edge of your cock under the side of your sweatpants" Chan replies, chuckling. "I can feel it too" you respond & Changbin tuts at your teasing, hiding his face in your neck as he starts kissing the soft skin, the faint smell of body wash still scenting it.

"So I'm right in saying you've obviously kissed before so I don't need to teach you both that, why not you try touching her, Bin? Watch." Chan says in a soft voice as he grabs one of Changbins hands that are resting on your waist & brings it up to your left tit over your clothes & Chan takes a hold of your right one & they both feel & then find your nipples from above your shirt & they both quickly notice you've not put a bra on & Chan subconsciously bites hit bottom lip, buzzing at the thought.

"Try twisting it like this, not too much but have a firm grip on it, rub your thumb over the bud, you can lick your fingers too, makes it nice n wet, can I lift your shirt y/n?" Chan asks, his other hand running along the hem of your... Changbin's shirt that you've stolen for yourself & you nod at his request.

"Bin, can you take it off for us?" he chirps, looking at the man behind you, who is looking not back at him, but instead down at Chan's fingers, following not only hi words but mirroring his actions, almost in a daze before he snaps out of it at the sudden question & nods his head rapidly & you raise your arms up to help your boyfriend strip you.

Your nipples stiffen up at the feel of the air around you all but you don't ponder on it as their fingers resume their place on your tits, & you melt into the touch as you lean further into Changbin, soaking yourself in the feeling, finding comfort in the rapid heart beats coming from his chest.

"Gonna go further now, alright?" chan speaks up & you nod your head, your eyes not bothering to open your eyes & you can feel your boyfriend nodding behind you, his fingers not stopping their actions on your hard bud.

Chan licks his fingers before bringing it back to your nipple before bringing his other hand to your skin, slowly dragging it down your naked stomach & waist, before bringing his hand to the waistband of your baggy shorts & Changbin takes the time to pat you on the cheek & when you open your eyes, Chan is looking up at you, nonverbally asking you if he can continue/

"Go on, please" you murmur as you spread your legs that tiny bit extra & Chan smirks up at you both before he makes quick work of removing your shorts completely, now leaving you completely nude now since you also so happen to have chose to not wear underwear & your legs quiver at the cold hair hitting your core, already dripping at this point, & Chan is quick to tell you how wet you are.

"Bin, come sit around here" Chan speaks & Changbin lets out a small whimper as he forces himself to detach himself from your nipple, which in his humble opinion, is probably the prettiest thing he has ever seen that isn't your face, but his opinion is quick to change when he crawls to sit himself down next to his friend as you help give them more room by shuffling upwards just enough so you can lay your head on the pillows.

You try to shut your legs, feeling awkward & shy at the two men staring at your naked cunt, clenching around nothing but Chan is quick to stop you from shutting them, holding them open.

"Keep em open pretty, look how wet you are, you're lucky Bin, gonna show you how to touch her & eat her, okay?" Chan speaks to Bin & when your eyes land on your boyfriend, you can tell how nervous he is & when he rests his hand on your knee, you stretch your arm to hold onto his.

"Speak Bin, just relax, it's just us, you need to focus if you wanna learn" he doubles down, tapping his friends arm, snapping him out of whatever trance he's in.

"Can't help but daydream, you're to pretty." not talking directly to Chan, but you instead & you hide your face in your arm.

"I know, like I just said you're real lucky, watch my hand mkay? You wanna tease a bit first, makes it more interesting." chan chirps as his fingers finish trailing down your skin, now landing on your outer lips of your cunt before he starts slowly spreading your wetness, not as if you'd even need it anyways since you're beyond gushing anyway & the sensation of his slightly calloused fingers dragging across your pussy but you physically twitch when his fingers finally directly land on your clit.

"Here's where the clit is, it's the easiest way to make a girl cum so make sure you actually remember where it is & find out, it's uncomfortable for the girl if you rub next to it, but don't do it too rough or hard because it's really sensitive, like this." Chan further continues as he starts visibly demonstrating as he speaks, his index & middle finger rubbing slow circles on your clit, making you whimper & both of their eyes shoot up to you at the sound, both of their cocks getting even harder if it was possible.

"You can tell if they actually feel good by their reactions, you can see her pussy clenching around nothing, do you know how to finger a girl Bin?" he asks, not bothering to let his eyes become unglued from your pussy, his fingers already drenched in your wetness.

"I've watched tutorials on pornhub & I've done it with the very few fucks i've had, i know how to" he stutters as he feels the need to bring his own fingers to your pussy, it looking far too inviting for him to keep his paws off & you instantly feel as if your skin is on fire.

Chan takes the opportunity to remove his fingers from your clit & you let out a whimper at the loss of contact as your hips try chase his fingers but it's short lived as your boyfriend's fingers take their place & start working at their own pace, different but not bad.

His fingers are a bit more clumsy than Chans despite him concentrating that tiny bit extra but your butterflies are intensified a billion times more by knowing it's him touching you & you can't stop yourself from looking down to look at the pretty boy in front of you playing with you like this & without him looking away from you, he leans down just enough so he can perfectly let a glob of spit land on your clit & you jolt.

"Binnie, want your tongue." you mumble, trying to keep your composure, nibbling on your bottom lip. "Wanna taste you" he replies, sounding more dazed than you are before he is moving his hand away from you & you quickly sit up & start tugging at his shirt & he quickly takes the hint & takes it off & you flop yourself backwards again as Changbin lays down between your legs, his face just centimetres away from your pussy, your wetness already causing a wet patch on the bedsheets.

Chan takes it upon himself to crawl up your frame & sits on the back of his knees before pinching a nipple with his right hand as he brings his left hand down to your cunt, pulling the skin upwards, exposing your already swollen clit just that tiny bit extra to help his friend.

Changbin takes a moment or two to just simply admire how gorgeous your pussy really is, & he has to mentally slap himself because of how long he's put off sex because of his own nerves, not knowing that literal perfection was so close to him.

Before he can doubt himself, he lets his lips suction onto your pudgy clit as he starts swirling his tongue around it & you instantly doubt the claim that he's bad at sex because he is acting like a natural.

"Fuck Bin, tongue is good" you whimper, your voice shaky as he slurps up your juices along with the pool of spit that's uncontrollably rolling off his tongue & your fingers weave into his curly hair.

"He making you feel good, babe?" Chan questions as he brushes the now damp hair from your face & he looks down at you with a cheeky smile, but you're too out of it to snap back at him, instead, you look down at his sweatpants that he's still wearing & you can easily see the huge boner he's sporting & you can't stop yourself from reaching to start pawing at them, & thankfully he takes the hint.

Chan takes his sweatpants off, leaving him in just his boxers. "Off cha, th-those too" you fight the words through your moans & but he does as you say & takes off his tank top too while he's at it, now totally naked too but instead of joining you both back on the bed, Chan is walking over to the bedroom door & opening it, & much to your shock, but not to chan or changbins, Jisung is standing right outside the door with his leaky cock in his hand, now frozen in place.

"I thought I heard you whining outside, we're busy & I thought you were with Leeknow?" Chan speaks, a complete monotone voice, almost as if he's not standing completely naked with his heavy, veiny cock in his hand.

"W-wanted to j-just listen, can I join? s-sounds pretty." he murmurs, his big boba eyes darting from you, to chan & then to changbin, just to repeat the motion over again & Changbin has detached his pretty lip from your clit, breaking the suction seal on your pussy before rubbing your clit with his fingers again, the feeling more intense with how sensitive his tongue has made it as you start grinding against him, unable to even think of a response to give Jisung.

"It's not my choice, it's y/nnies, but I don't think she's able to talk, I'm teaching Bin well, aren't I?" Chan asks, hinting a response for Bin & he let's himself enter not one but two fingers into your cunt before quickly setting a decent pace, his other hand's thumb flicking your clit at the same pace as best as he can.

"So well hyung, ask y/n it's her who to ask" Changbin chirps, his voice flushed out as he slows down the grinding on the mattress as he looks at the doorway & Jisung fixates his eyes on you, teary.

"Just c-come in -fuck bin, come in Jisung" you cry out & Jisung pretty much gallops into the room, past his naked friend & he pretty much hops onto the bed as he shakes his clothes off & chan makes quick work of following him, not bothering to shut the door behind him.

Changbin doesn't bother to ponder on the fact that Jisung is now here, instead completely focused on the way you're clenching around his chubby fingers, feeling your orgasm bubble up, it feeling different to when you're just masterbating on your own.

"Bin, think i-ima cum, so goodd" you squeak as you grip onto Jisungs arm beside you without thinking & Changbin's ego gets boosted by the words you spit out & he takes the chance to suckle back on your clit again, making sure to pull on the pudge of it to get better access, just like what Chan did & your legs convulse around his head as you try to force yourself to keep them open, but Jisung takes it upon himself to straddle you with his back facing you, holding your legs open, also giving himself a perfect view of his friends tongue & lips engulfing your pussy.

"Cum for us babe, if it feels good just let go" Chan remarks & you look up at him with glossy eyes, dazed & fucked out as you let out a squeal as you bubble over, your orgasm flushing throughout your entire body as your toes curl around him & your fingers clench so hard around his fingers he's force to pull them out, a white cream ring around the base of his fingers.

Jisung reaches down to grab at Changbin's wrist before pulling the fingers that just fucked you up to his mouth before licking your own orgasm off of them, groaning at the taste, his drool coating his fingers & he takes it upon himself to tease you all by gagging on his fingers but to not really anyones surprise, Changbin just looks up at him in awe, his fingers finally slowing down on your clit, letting you come down from your orgasm, which he learned to do from porn.

"Did so well for us y/nnie, do you wanna keep going? We can stop here if you're too worn out we can do this another day if it's too much, no stress." Chan speaks out as he pulls Jisung off of you & onto the place on the bed he just was, Jisung laying next to you now & he turns his head to give you a smile, which you mirror.

"Wanna keep going, want you Bin." you make grabby hands & Bin crawls up your frame to kiss you & that's when you feel that he still has his sweatpants on & he doesn't even need to be asked before he's taking them off along with his boxers, his thick cock hitting against his toned tummy, making you drool.

"Want to feel you so bad Bin, please binnie." you murmur as he holds himself above you before he leans down to kiss you, but you're both interrupted by the sounds of Jisung & Chan moaning beside you & when you turn to look, Chan has his own & Jisungs cock wrapped in his palms as they grind against each other, using their own precum as lube & with how wet their cocks are, they could give you a run for your money & you'd be lying if you said you aren't even more turned on now, Jisungs legs wrapped around Chans ripped frame as Chans thick cock almost hides Jisungs with the size difference as their sensitive tips bash & glide against one anothers.

You can feel Changbin freeze up a bit when you reach down to grip his cock with your hand when you try align it with your cunt & you reach to caress his cheek. "It's alright Binnie, you've already made me cum you're good!" you pretty much cheer, your voice soft & Chan can't help but overhear it & he has a bright idea.

"I'll guide you Bin, Jisung you're gonna help us, mkay?" Chan asks & Jisung already knows where it's going & he nods with stars in his eyes as he flips around so he's on his knees before dropping from his hands so he's arched, his already stretched hole on display for Chan & Changbin to see & you can't help but feel a bit left out that you can't see it from where you're laying down.

Changbin & you look over at the sight, honestly extremely surprised at how... comfortable they are to do this with one another.

"Are we missing something? Do you guys hook up & none of us knew this?" you giggle & Jisung lets out a pouty whine, turning his face away from you to avoid your gazes.

"There's nothing wrong with having fun on our own, like Changbin's said, being idols give us a horribly busy schedule!" he whips back at you as he makes quick work of grabbing the condom that Changbin collected earlier from the floor & he rips open the packet before rolling the condom onto his cock.

"it's easy Bin, promise. Everyone obviously has a G-spot & you need to try find it, it's more spongey but if you've felt it with your fingers, your cock will definitely reach it so don't stress, go in slow & then pick up the pace, & don't just have messy thrusts you gotta keep a rhythm" Chan instructs as he takes his own cock in his hand & aligns it up with Jisungs already lubed hole, from when he was actually prepping himself just before he started jerking off outside the door.

Changbin stumbles with his hands for a minute before he copies his hyung in the room, not only his heart but also your heart racing as he decides to beat Chan to the chase & he pushes himself inside you, the width of his cock a huge stretch to just his fingers, & Changbin stalls inside you half way, partly to let you adjust but also to stop himself from cumming on the spot with how tight & warm you are, the way you're clenching around him is suffocating in the best way possible.

Jisung looks at the reaction on your face & he can't wait any longer as he then starts shaking his ass on his dick, trying to persuade his hyung to just give him what he wants & Chan can't hold himself back any longer & slides himself in quite quickly, knowing Jisung loves the painful but pleasurable stretch from the roughness & he lets out a choked noise that makes you gush.

"Y-you're so tight jagi, oh my- oh my god" Changbin squeaks, his eyes struggling to not roll to the back of his head & you look up at him with love hearts in your eyes, your brain malfunctioning as you reach to hold onto his biceps that you love so much, the choked gurgles of Jisungs whines & squeals filling the room.

Changbin forces himself to piece his mind together again just enough to start fucking into you at a good pace & you're just so full you swear you can feel him coming out of your throat almost. "S-so big Bi-binnie, doing so good" you cry out & by this point you've genuinely forgot that your boyfriends two closest friends are literally fucking beside you & you won't be surprised if you dismiss the huge puddle of spit on the bedsheets as your own later.

Chan reaches down to start jerking off Jisung at the same pace as his cock is thrusting into him & literally just after a couple of pumps of his cock, he is cumming all over Changbin's bedsheets with a wail as he spasms & shakes beneath Chan, but he doesn't let up.

Chan takes a second to look at you & Changbin & deems his work as done in terms of getting him comfortable to fuck you, & he can tell you both need no more help & he scoops up Jisung & carries him by the inside of his knees, his back touching his chest as he takes them both out of the room to make way to whatever next surface he can fuck Jisung against, leaving just you & Binnie together, not that you could be paid to care at this point.

"Y-you're so pre-beautiful, so good" he babbles above you as he flops forward enough to kiss you, tongues wrapping around one another as he hits that gummy spot his fingers were rubbing against earlier & your whines jump up an octowave.

"Shit bin, wa-gonna cum, pl-please" you cry as you break the kiss to try catch a breath or two but you hold your breath in shock & happiness at Changbin's response.

"Cum, p-please, I- i love you jagi, ss-so much, so good" he gibbers as he brings his hand down to your clit again, rubbing more messy circles on your clit & your toes start curling but you force yourself to hold back your orgasm for the time being, as tense as a rock beneath him as squelching noises fill the room, his cock almost completely slipping out every time he retracts himself, your hand reaching own each time he does so just to make sure you can quickly slide him back into his probably new favourite place if it happened.

"I- love you too bin, prett-prettiest boy" you whimper & at those words matched with you then pulling his head from your neck once he nested it there & kiss him again with your hands cupping his chubby cheeks & he lets out a small squeal as he is cumming before he can warn you & at the feeling of him filling you up & the way he pulsates in you, your own orgasm hits you too & he accidentally bites down on it & you moan that extra bit louder at the feeling.

You both come down from your orgasm, panting & huffing on top of one another, only the sounds of Jisung being fucked by Chan just down the hallway, but your mind is too all over the place.

"I me-meant what I said by the way, sorry it took my friend to help me fuck you." he murmurs, his voice sounding raspy but chirpy.

"I meant it too, I looooveee you! & don't stress it, it was hot anyways." you emphasis it further by pecking him all over his face, his cute dimples plastered on his cheeks as he gets shy.

"I can still hear Chan & Jisung fucking, if you want we can go join them, since you think it's hot" he half teases, but you can tell he isn't really joking. "you'll need to climb off me if you want to go, hurry before Jisung is fully spent!" you snap back & you can feel his cock that was just starting to go limp inside you chub back up before he's pulling out as he picks you up & pretty much sprints to what turns out to be the living room & Jisung on his knees sucking Chan off & you're quick to land on your knees beside Jisung, poking your head in to get a taste as Changbin sits beside chan a Jisung switches places with you.

->I really don't think I like this im afraid</3 but I could potentially do a part two but it won't be until after kinktober & after i finish my part two to my felix smut so please be patient mwah x

->Taglist & anon list is open! @jisungml

[certaimromance]

𝜗𝜚 A Heart Matter.

Spencer Reid x Prentiss!reader

Series masterlist | ONE | TWO | THREE |

Summary: A few months after you left, Spencer thinks he sees you walking down the street, and his whole world is turned upside down.

Words: 3,2k.

TW: mentions of crime, trauma, death, pain and violence (normal warnings in the series). so much spoilers for s6 and s7. the events narrated occur after emily's "death". so much angst. read the dates carefully, especially the years, because there are some backward time frames that can confuse you if you don't pay attention!. english isn't my first language (sorry for my mistakes, be kind please).

Note: I'm so sorry, that's all I can say now.

Also, I thought about making this a series, but I'm not sure because I've never done one before and I've really only been writing here for about a month??? I'm trying hard.

♡ Enjoy! ♡

July 18th, 2011

The steady ticking of the wall clock echoed in Spencer's head as a reminder that his time in the session was ticking away, robbing him of the chance to express himself without sounding like a complete lunatic.

“I saw her.” He had to repeat it aloud after receiving a puzzled look from his therapist.

The woman pursed her lips. “In a dream? Are you having nightmares again?”

The lump in the agent's throat felt tighter and more suffocating, causing him to shift in his seat to hide it. He wanted to appear sane and focused, however much his next words were anything but.

“No.”

The therapist's intrigued look and the fact that she stopped writing in her notebook to give him her full attention made his hands tremble and his heart pound as he spoke again.

“I mean, I still have the same nightmares...but this, this is different.” Reid tried to explain hesitantly.

Since the day he found you lying in a pool of blood outside your sister's apartment, his mind had been tormented by the image and the guilt it caused him. The nightmares of seeing you again and losing you were a constant every night. Every time he managed to fall asleep, he woke up agitated, feeling again the emptiness of not having you by his side. And that was something his therapist knew better than anyone, because she forced him to write down every nightmare and tell her all of them.

Those bad dreams were supposed to be over, or so he had claimed for the past three weeks.

“How?”

“I wasn't asleep when I saw her.” Spencer finally blurted out in a slightly shaky voice. He had rehearsed the same conversation several times and always ended up feeling like a deranged man seeing ghosts. “I was on the street.”

That sentence instantly changed the tone of the conversation.

“It was after work, I went to buy some food because the case ended earlier than I thought. Her favorite Chinese restaurant is a few blocks from my apartment, we really liked to eat there...I bought some and when I came out, I saw her.” He paused for a minute, trying to mentally return to the moment that was relentlessly replaying in his mind. “She was across the street, buying flowers.”

He had to be quiet for a second, pausing to calm his own breathing. It was ridiculous, but the thought of you buying flowers again made him smile slightly.

You had always loved flowers and now he was supposed to bring them to your grave.

“I ran across the street as soon as I saw her, but I lost sight of her when a bus came across.” He said, struggling to finish his story.

“Spencer, listen to me.” The woman's tone alone let him know that she didn't agree with him at all. “It's normal to think we see someone we lost, it happens to several people. Maybe it was just someone who looked like her, and being near a place the two of you frequented contributed to the confusion.”

That was impossible because he would recognize you anywhere and there was no one else like you.

“You know the truth.”

Of course he knew.

He had been trying to live for six months knowing that you were already dead.

Six months of him trying to deal with your ghost. Six months of him on his knees begging for this to be just another nightmare. Six months of reliving the last time he held you in his arms. Six months of being dead in life.

“Yes, but she looked different.” He explained, receiving a puzzled look that prompted him to provide further clarification. “Her hair was shorter, much shorter. And if I were hallucinating her ghost, I'd see her the same way I saw her the last time, or maybe the time before that. It wouldn't be so different from the way I remember her.”

“You lost two important people on the same day, it's not about logic.”

From her reaction when he concluded his session, it was evident that she considered his perspective to be irrational and clouded by the effects of grief.

And maybe it was.

July 30th, 2011

A few days of missing therapies and locking himself up at work already had consequences.

It was the second time a case had ended earlier than expected and Spencer had to go back to his lonely apartment and find excuses to leave without feeling sorry for himself. It was hard for him to be in his own home without you, surrounded by the photos you always insisted on taking and framing to preserve moments that were now torture. So the best solution was to make unnecessary purchases or lock himself in the nearest library.

Anything was better than being locked in a room with himself, so he decided to read in a room full of strangers who provided the company he so desperately needed.

The bad news was that the library's closing time had come earlier than expected for unknown reasons, and life seemed to force him to face his reality on the busy streets of Virginia, taking every possible alternate route to delay his arrival home. He didn't want to have to open the door knowing that no one would be waiting for him, that you wouldn't be there asleep on the couch after watching a marathon of your favorite movies, or just trying to read one of his books so you could discuss it with him.

His mind was still hazy and his eyes were wandering through the shops of the city when a familiar and unmistakable figure appeared before his eyes, just a few meters away, coming out of one of the shops on the next street.

It was you again. Unmistakably you.

He started running without a second thought, but the streets were so crowded that it was hard for him to move through the mass of people. His heartbeat was out of control and probably everyone could hear him, but he didn't care about looking crazy, he just needed to get a little closer to talk and make sure it was you.

The city's public transportation seemed to be against him, because just as he was about to cross the street, not caring that the light was red, another bus crossed the street and almost ran him over. Just a few inches and the story would have been very different for him. Everyone on the street was whispering, car horns were honking and every now and then someone would ask him if he was okay or look at him like he was a psychiatric patient. But nothing mattered to him, there was only your image in his mind and the possibility of finding out if he was really going crazy or if your ghost was haunting him.

When he managed to cross the street, there was no sign of you, and his therapist's words echoed in his mind as a symbol of temporary insanity brought on by pain. Try as he might to ignore his conscience, there was no way to find you in the sea of people, and he had no choice but to enter the store where he thought he saw you coming out.

“A woman bought something here a few minutes ago, she had a bag slung over her shoulder.” Spencer spoke quickly as soon as he walked in and approached the local salesman. He paused only when the man nodded in confusion at his attitude. “Do you know her name? Where she's from? Does she come here often?”

The man's lips were sealed, he just waved his hand to let him know he would only talk for money. He didn't even flinch when Reid pulled out his badge and repeated that he was FBI. Anyway, the thirty dollars was the master key to get the information and the security camera footage, which was barely visible because of the poor quality.

“I don't know who she is, it's the first time I've seen her. There aren't many customers on my shift, and not everyone buys that many books.” He began to speak under Spencer's curious gaze. “She paid cash and bought a bunch of classics. And she had a limp.”

“Are you sure? Which leg was it?”

There was a short silence, which the salesman used to remind himself, and Spencer's nerves got even more out of control.

“I don't remember which leg it was but I was definitely limping. I noticed that when she climbed the ladder, I had to help her.”

January 11th, 2010

“Can we eat here?” You asked after reading the sign that said the restaurant's elevator was under repair. “There are a few tables.”

Spencer couldn't help but frown and let go of your hand to stand in front of you. His eyes searched for yours. “I thought you wanted to come up, the view is your favorite thing here.”

You two were at your favorite restaurant, a Chinese food paradise with the best view in city, according to your expert opinion. It wasn't the first time the two of you had been there, so you had already more than booked a table, and this one was on the third floor. Your favorite part of going there was seeing the moon.

And of course, Dr. Reid was the kind of guy who always paid attention to the little details. He remembered everything, and could probably tell what you were thinking just by looking into your eyes for a few seconds.

“Let me take you upstairs, please.”

His puppy-dog eyes and a single phrase were enough to get you to let him take you by the arm and lead you up the stairs at a slow pace. By the time you got to the second floor, he offered to carry you like a princess. You had no choice but to accept, especially since it had already taken you more than ten minutes to climb a single floor. The pitying looks from the other diners were starting to make you uncomfortable.

“Thank you, Spencer.” You mumbled as you reached the table and he pulled up a chair for you.

He smiled. He loved how you said his name and wanted to hear it for hours.

After you both sat down and made your requests, you spoke again. “Aren't you going to ask why I can't climb a ladder?”

“I won't ask you anything you don't want to answer.” He said simply.

You felt like you could tell him anything, even your darkest thoughts. Your sister had already talked about it. Either it was the Reid effect, or you were just madly in love with him. Both were quite similar in your view.

“I hurt myself while I was practicing ballet. I made a really bad move.” You spoke up after a few minutes of silence. He frowned when he heard you. He had no idea you played the sport. “I was supposed to have quit, so I didn't tell anyone. Only Emily knew. I didn't treat it until the injury got worse when I went out in the field on a case. That's how I retired from the FBI. My mom freaked out, and my left ankle was screwed up for my whole life.”

Before you turned your attention back to Spencer, you prepared yourself mentally for the sympathy he would undoubtedly show. The curious thing was that in his eyes, there was nothing but interest and gratitude for having allowed him to know more about you. That was what kept you talking.

“There's an operation to try to fix it, but recovery takes quite some time. I'd rather always take the elevator and avoid the stairs as much as possible than have to rely on Emily to take care of me for three whole months. She has work to do and would go crazy having to be my maid.”

“I would.” He said without hesitation. When you looked curious, he elaborated. “I'd take care of you.”

“For three whole months?” You asked, sounding rather incredulous and as if you thought maybe he was just being extra nice.

“For the rest of my life, if you let me.”

September 5th, 2011

“There's no way you could have seen her, Spence.”

JJ's eyes fell on his friend's not-so-shaky ones, and a part of her churned inside, not knowing what else to say to him. It was eleven o'clock at night, the first time in several days that Spencer had shown up at her house to try to find comfort and perhaps understanding.

“I know, I know it shouldn't be possible.” He replied and went back to pacing the room, trying not to make a sound. The last thing he wanted was to wake up his godson or his friend's husband. “But it was so real...maybe I'm crazy.”

“You're not.” She said firmly, getting up from her seat to give him a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

At the time, even he didn't know for sure, and that made him fear that he had lost his mind. He was hungry for a love that he would never have again.

“You just miss her.”

No, missing was nothing compared to his feelings.

“It's more than that, much more. I haven't been able to catch my breath since she left.” He admitted, running his hands through his hair as tears formed. “I miss Emily, too, and I don't see her walking down the street.”

Silence fell over the room because no one had anything to say. There weren't enough words to describe the situation. The only sound that could be heard was the man's sobbing on Jennifer's shoulder, trying to be encouraged with words.

“It's going to be all right, Spence.”

He didn't say it out loud, but he thought he'd never get anything right in his life if all he wanted was you.

March 14th, 2010

The coffee he was carrying kept him warm as he made his way through the chilly FBI offices. Spencer wondered if the air conditioning had broken down when he reached the technical analyst's office and a conversation stopped him in his tracks.

“My take? She looks like she'll be Mrs. Reid one day.” Penelope's voice was heard after several loose sentences that the boy couldn't understand from the other side of the door. He figured they were talking about him and his relationship with you.

“I hadn't thought about Reid being legally part of my family until now.” Emily spoke next, letting out a few chuckles. “I'm going to have mini geniuses for nephews.”

“Stop it, we're just dating.” You spoke with some nervousness, still reeling from the implications. “It's not like we're getting married tomorrow.”

As he leaned against the wall by the door to hear better, Spencer couldn't help but feel a bit guilty about what he was doing. He knew it wasn't right to overhear other people's conversations, especially if they were about him. But he had a feeling he needed to know what you were saying about him when he wasn't around. It wouldn't hurt to just hear a little bit.

“Don't pretend you don't talk about future names for your babies, I heard you two.” Garcia spoke again.

“It was a random conversation.”

“About baby names?” She gave a little smile and raised an eyebrow.

“What I mean is that bringing things forward is not good.” You began to speak, completely ignoring the previous point. You were trying to be the voice of reason in the midst of their ridicule. “But I'd like him to be the one.”

“I think I'll shed a tear or two because you've grown up so fast.” Your sister commented in a teasing tone that hid quite a bit of truth. She gave your hand a quick squeeze and looked at you for a few seconds before speaking again. “What's up with that look on your face?”

You frowned. Spencer's heart seemed to stop beating for a moment. “What look?”

“You know which one I mean—the one you put on when the coffee runs out.”

Reid's hands began to sweat. He felt like a teenager trying to figure out what the girl he liked really thought of him. Did you ever have doubts about your relationship? Did you ever picture yourself with him in the future? Was he really the one for you?

“The scariest thing about love is getting hurt.” You said, trying to initiate the idea. Unfortunately, Penelope beat you to it and spoke up.

“I'm sure he wouldn't hurt you.”

“I know, I don't care about that.” You spoke up again after a few seconds, looking around the room as if lost in thought. “What if I do it? What if I break his heart?”

Oh, that was certainly not something Spencer was expecting to hear.

“How would you break his heart? Not answering his calls for five minutes and seven seconds?” Interjected Emily with a teasing tone to try to lighten the mood and get a smile out of you. “I don't think either of you would consciously hurt the other.”

And right after that, the protagonist of the discussion entered the room, causing the three of you to remain silent and pretend that nothing was going on. You could only smile when your boyfriend came in with a hot coffee for you and you saw the tender looks the two women gave you.

“Thank you.” You said.

“It's nothing.” He replied, pulling you close to surprise you with a hug that brought him close enough to your ear to whisper. “You could never break my heart.”

September 21st, 2011

Ian Doyle was only a couple of meters away.

Spencer's fist throbbed and burned, still stained with the blood of the man who had taken everything from him seven months ago. He knew he had done wrong, that he had promised everyone that he would only talk to the terrorist, and that he had done much more than that. The team had barely been able to get him out of the interrogation room because he was out of control with rage.

He wanted to make him feel a lot of pain and a minimum of what you and Emily probably felt that night.

“You need to calm down.” JJ came out of the meeting room to stop him before he could go in.

“I'm calm.” He replied, still trying to regulate his breathing. He could see his friend raise an eyebrow, and he decided to speak up again to avoid upsetting her. “This is about as calm as I can get right now.”

As soon as he was done speaking, Reid tried to keep going to the room, but the woman was in his way again and stopped him from opening the door.

“You have to be calm for what Hotch has to tell you. I mean it.” Jennifer said, after receiving a confused look. “What you're going to see now...”

“I'll be fine.”

Without giving her a chance to say anything else, he opened the door to the room. Spencer thought he'd find photos of the crime scene that ruined his life, maybe some testimony he didn't know about, or even the killer there. But none of that was true, and it made his heart stop.

“Hi.”

You certainly broke his heart this time.

[avatar-anna]

When You Fall In Love...

so i've been reading icebreaker and it's been putting me in the hockeyrry mood

part one, part two, bonus, bonus

Harry watched from the empty stands as Y/n ran through her routine for the fifth time. Her teammates had gone home, her coach asked Harry if he would lock up on the way out, and now it was just the two of them in the empty rink. There wasn't even any music playing anymore, Y/n was just skating and performing her tricks as if there was.

Every time she did it, it was flawless. Her routine was fast and intense and incredibly difficult, but Y/n performed with ease every time. She landed her tricks like they were nothing, tricks which Harry now knew the names of and could tell the difference between a lutz and an axel. She was incredible, and he was in awe of her every single time.

But even in her perfection, Y/n had yet to smile once.

Harry decided she'd had enough after she finished her fifth run-through, quickly jogging down to the edge of the rink before she could skate out to the middle again. He leaned over the barricade and kissed the top of her head. This close to her, he could see her rosy cheeks and heaving chest, a sign that her routine did wear her out, despite making it look so effortless.

"You were phenomenal as usual, baby," Harry said while he gathered her things.

"I bobbled a landing and my timing was off for a whole four counts," was her reply.

Harry frowned, not pleased by her recent negativity. Any athlete could be critical of their ability, but Y/n seemed uncharacteristically hard on herself lately, and he had no idea why. "Everything okay?" He asked, shouldering her duffle bag as they walked away from the rink.

"I'm fine."

She certainly didn't sound fine, but Harry decided not to push. Not now, anyway. Changing the subject, he said, "I got an email from the recruiter. I should be receiving my contract soon."

Excitement didn't even begin to cover how Harry had been feeling lately. Last week, he'd met with an agent of a minor league hockey team, one that was a feeder to an NHL team. He expressed their interest in Harry moving to the east coast after graduation and join them for spring training. And after giving it some thought, Harry accepted.

He was over the moon, thrilled that years of hard work was finally paying off. He'd made his passion into a career, and had the potential to really make a name for himself. Life couldn't have been better.

But where Harry seemed to be flying high, Y/n seemed stuck. She was happy for him when he told her the news, had gone out to celebrate with him that night. But something felt off between them. Harry couldn't put a name to it, but he just knew.

"That's great," Y/n said with no amount of enthusiasm in her voice. Harry tried not to take it to heart, she was clearly in a mood from her practice. She was under a lot of pressure too, he reminded himself, and sometimes had a knack for not knowing how to express herself with words.

"Is there something on your mind? You've been quiet recently," he said, hoping he wasn't overstepping her delicate boundary.

Y/n shook her head as she approached her car, sliding into the driver's seat without a word. Harry couldn't help but feel more and more like there was something on her mind, but he let it go again.

Before pulling the car out of the parking lot, Y/n rested her hand over his and leaned in to kiss him. "I'm sorry. I've just got a lot on my mind."

"It's okay. As long as you know you can talk to me about it."

Her throat bobbed, but she nodded, then turned her focus toward the road. Harry filled the silence with rambling. He talked mostly about the NHL, about his contract and where he wanted to live and how everything was happening so fast.

So caught up in trying to break the tension, he didn't notice Y/n's white-knuckle grip on the steering wheel.

*.*

"Styles! What the hell are you doing? Focus up! Let's go!"

Harry rested his hands on his knees, breathing heavily during the brief pause in the game. His eyes flicked up to the stands, searching the crowd for a familiar face, but he didn't see the one he needed the most.

Despite being recruited by a minor league hockey team, Harry was probably having the worst game of his life.

Not one pass connected, he was letting second-rate players get by him, and he'd spent more time in the penalty box than in the actual game. Nothing about this was right, and still all he could do was look for Y/n.

She wasn't there, and even though things had been weird between them recently, he was still surprised. When she wasn't at a competition of her own, Y/n came to every one of Harry's games. It had started out as Harry wanting to impress her, maybe show off a little, and then as time went on and they grew closer and their relationship became more than two people having sex in secret, he wanted her to be there just because it felt good knowing she was watching him play. All his nerves floated away when Y/n was sat in the stands, sometimes in his jersey, cheering him on.

And of course there were times when she couldn't come, but this wasn't one of those times. Y/n had purposely not shown up. He knew they'd fought before the game, but he didn't think she would abandon him just to be petty. They were past that now.

His sole focus should've been on the game he was playing, but instead his mind kept drifting to the fight.

Harry could feel Y/n pulling away from him. He finally felt like he was getting everything he wanted—a spot on a minor league hockey team on the east coast that would eventually lead him to the NHL, graduating with semi-decent grades thanks to Y/n, and of course being with his dream girl. At first, she'd seen him as some douchey athlete that was only good for one thing. He remembered seeing her for the first time their freshman year, performing tricks on the ice that he'd only ever seen on TV, and when he whistled and clapped loudly—perhaps a little obnoxiously—after she'd finished, she'd rolled her eyes at him and told him to fuck off.

It was love at first sight.

Harry had been so careful around Y/n. He played by her rules and followed her lead, trying not to let the comments about them not dating get to him too much. He liked their initial dynamic, finding it funny when he got under her skin because she made it so easy. It became a kind of game, this push and pull that was fun and exciting and eventually led to their arrangement.

He knew that she cared about him on some level, he just needed to bide his time and show her he wasn't who she thought he was. Not entirely, anyway. And when she finally did, and they became more than just people who screwed around, everything was perfect.

They'd been through so much together. Y/n pushed Harry to be better, and he worked with her to master new tricks and nail her routine. There wasn't anyone else who understood his level of commitment to hockey, but she did, and that just made him love her more.

So when he got the call offering him a spot on the minor league team, Y/n was the first person Harry told. She'd been happy for him, and he was over the moon, his mind already making a million plans—where they'd live, her coming to his games, him helping her find a new rink to train at. It felt like the doors to a new and exciting world had opened for them, but she then she started pulling back, and Harry practically watched as that door slammed shut.

Harry pushed himself to focus back on the game, on the hockey stick in his hand and the ice beneath his skates. He felt like it took more effort than it should've to get his head back in the game, but his team managed to pull out a win, and he managed not to get benched before it happened. That didn't stop his coach from ripping him a new one in the locker room, but Harry sat there and took it, shaking his head and promising his piss poor performance would never happen again.

Exhausted both physically and mentally, he trudged out of the locker room and toward the parking lot, debating whether to take the bus home or call an Uber. Even in his senior year, he still didn't have a car, but Y/n was usually there to give him a ride home. To their home. Moving in together for their last year of school seemed like a no-brainer, and it had been amazing so far, though the last week had been kind of a disaster. Harry could feel the tension between them growing, but every time he asked Y/n about it, she'd say she was fine even though they both knew everything was not fine, and the cycle continued. He wanted to be excited, he wanted to celebrate the success he'd managed to create for himself, but he felt rather deflated instead.

To Harry's surprise, Y/n was waiting for him in the parking lot. He didn't hesitate putting his gear in the trunk and coming around to sit in the passenger seat. Y/n leaned in to kiss him immediately holding onto the sides of his face fervently.

"I'm sorry," she breathed. "I'm sorry for not being here tonight and I'm sorry for acting strange, and I'm sorry for—"

"Y/n, what's going on with you?" Harry couldn't help but ask.

"Can we wait until we get home to talk?" She asked. I want to be able to talk to you properly, and I can't if I'm driving.

When Harry nodded, Y/n must've deemed it enough. She peeled away from the rink, silent tension filling the air between once again. It had been following them around all week.

That ended tonight, though. He didn't care how much Y/n hated confrontation or hard conversations. They couldn't move forward if they didn't move past this roadblock first. Harry loved Y/n more than he ever thought possible, and stubborn as she was, he knew she loved him just as much. He would get to the bottom of this, no matter how hard she tried to fight him on the way down.

*.*

"Y/n, you know I would be ecstatic if you'd told me you qualified for the Olympics. This is a huge step in my career! Why can't you be happy for me?"

"I am! God, Harry, I am."

"Then why are you pulling away from me? I feel like I can't be excited about this around you when you're the one person who should understand how this feels."

"I can't do this. I can't have this argument with you," you said, trying to step away from him.

Harry was quick to grab your hands in his, keeping you from walking away. "What aren't you telling me? Do you want to break up?"

"No!

"Do you not love me anymore? What? What is it, Y/n?"

"God, I didn't—I didn't ask for this," you cried, feeling like a damn had burst inside you. It was out now, and now you had to see it through to the end. "I didn't plan on falling in love with you. I wasn't prepared to love you this much. You're the one who wanted to take things further, and now you're—"

You're leaving me, you couldn't bring yourself to say. You really were happy for him. All of his dreams were coming true, and he had an ambition that matched yours, which made you love him more. And now that ambition was taking him far away from you, and you weren't handling it as well as you thought you would.

"Y/n—"

"I'm happy for you, H, I'm so happy for you that I could burst. And maybe even a little jealous," you joked, though there was some truth to what you said. "But I guess I just...I guess I didn't expect to love you this much. And I don't—I don't know what to do because you're going soon and I'm..."

You had no clue, and that alone was terrifying.

At the start of all this, you never imagined falling in love with Harry. He drove you absolutely insane, and despite your physical attraction to him, you kept your distance. But he kept doing these things that made you like him, and eventually care about him, and finally made you fall in love with him. It just wasn't something you saw coming. Love was definitely not on the brain when you met Harry.

Because you knew this moment was inevitable. The moment when one of you would be given an opportunity you couldn't refuse and would pull you away from each other. Once upon a time, you thought you would be given your dream job of a lifetime—competitive skating and hopefully the Olympics—but somewhere down the line, skating stopped bringing you joy, only pressure and anxiety. And now Harry had his dream job on the other side of the country, and you were left to flounder and wonder how you would survive waking up without him next to you.

"You're making it seem like it's a bad thing that you're in love with me," Harry said quietly, but the low tone of his voice didn't hide anything. You knew he was getting upset. After all the avoidance the last week—on your part—yours and his emotions were coming to a head.

"It's not! It's just that you're leaving!" you said, resisting the urge to run a frustrated hand through your hair. "And all week you've talked about how excited to get out of here and leave this all behind and start a new chapter in your life. I mean, would it kill you to act like you're a little torn up about leaving?"

It was so selfish, and you knew it was. It was why you'd been avoiding Harry, this conversation. Harry had every right to be proud and ecstatic for leaving to play in the professional league. He worked so hard, pushed himself farther than anyone you'd ever met, except for maybe you. Your pain was clouding your good sense, and now you'd shown just how horrible you could really be.

You couldn't look him in the eye after saying what you did. Even if it was how you felt, you still felt ashamed for raining on Harry's parade. "Y/n—" he tried to say when you hastily wiped a tear from your eye.

"I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry," you said, getting up from the couch and scurrying off to your bedroom.

Flopping on the bed, you pulled the covers over you, trying to hide from everything happening around you. It was too much. Your senior year was supposed to be fun and full of unforgettable memories, not arguments and heartache.

You weren't sure how much time had passed before the door opened and Harry slipped inside. He slid into bed next to you, and you didn't fight it when he rested his face in the crook of your neck. Because despite everything you were feeling, this was all you really needed.

"I'm not leaving you behind," he murmured gently. "You mean too much to me."

You sniffled, and Harry pulled you closer to his chest. "You're going to be thousands of miles away."

"Says who?" he said, kissing your cheek. "Who says you aren't coming with me?"

"And do what?" you huffed, even though the thought slightly lifted your spirits. "Be one of your...puck whatevers and follow you around like a puppy? I need a life of my own too."

You were being stubborn and argumentative and you both knew it. There was some relief in knowing Harry wanted you with him, but you also didn't want to just move because Harry was. You needed purpose, you needed to feel like your life had some sort of direction in it. But it was unfair to put all of that on Harry, and you didn't know how to express how you felt without sounding insane, so instead you said nothing, and that obviously went over brilliantly.

Harry chuckled. "See, because you just said how in love you are with me, I can tell that you're frosty attitude is just an act. Now turn over and look at me."

You reluctantly turned over, brow furrowed exaggeratedly because you couldn't cross your arms over your chest. It used to infuriate you how easily Harry could get under your skin because he knew you so well, that he knew just what to do or say to pull you out of a bad mood. In this moment, you were thankful. He could see past all the harsh words and see to the root of the problem. You'd said some things that were perhaps out of order, but Harry understood. Despite everything, he understood.

"You've worked just as hard as me, Y/n. I want to be there for you the way you've been for me. You can achieve your goals too."

"I just...I don't know if I want to achieve them anymore," you said quietly.

It was the first time you'd said it out loud. Since you'd learned to skate, there had only been one goal: the Olympics. Getting there wasn't just a matter of training, it was about devoting your life to your craft, it was barely having a life outside of training and competitions and giving all your time to winning. And after spending nearly your entire life doing it, you felt yourself slowly burning out. You'd go through your routines flawlessly, but your heart wasn't in it. All you could think about was the future—the next competition, the next training session, the next qualifier. It took seeing Harry so happy about being drafted to the minor leagues to realize the fire had gone out in you. Thinking of Olympic qualifiers and training and affording coaches and costumes and picking the right music only filled you with dread when you should've felt joy.

"Oh."

"But I don't know who I am if I don't have skating."

"You don't have to compete to skate, you know," Harry said. He rested his hand against your cheek, rubbing his thumb along your temple lightly. "You can c—"

"Oh God, don't say coach," you groaned. "It's perfect. You'll be a hockey superstar and I'll be the washed-up figure skater who couldn't handle the pressure of being an athlete and wound up coaching instead."

"I know you're being like this because you're scared, and that's okay," he said. "But I'll help you find a new dream, Y/n. I promise."

You had to blink away tears because your heart couldn't take how much he cared about you. "Even when I've been a complete bitch?"

"You haven't been. I'm sorry if you felt like I was leaving you behind. I guess in my mind we would always be together, no matter where we ended up."

"God I hate how much I love you sometimes," you grumbled while flinging yourself on top of Harry and holding him tight. "It's too much, you're too much, and I can't stand it—"

"There's a compliment in there somewhere, right?" Harry asked, but you could hear the grin in his voice.

Sitting up, you perched yourself on him, your legs straddling his waist. Dipping down, you made sure your noses were brushing, but you didn't close the distance. Not yet. Your heart was racing simply because Harry had been so kind to you, because he knew you so well and said exactly what you needed to hear. It felt ridiculous to know that there was a time when he pissed you off so much you saw red, that his teasing remarks and cocky grin grated on your nerves. Now you didn't want to imagine a life without him.

"I'm sorry for saying all of those things," you murmured. "I really am proud of you. No one deserves this more than you do."

Harry's hand reached up and threaded through your hair, his fingers gentle as they passed over your scalp. "I know you are. And I mean it, Y/n. I'll help you. I know you love to skate, we just have to find a way to channel that into something else. If not coaching, maybe performing?"

"What? Like Disney on Ice?" you asked skeptically, your nose wrinkling at the thought.

Harry shrugged as his hand dipped beneath your shirt to stroke your back. "You'd be a cute princess."

"With my luck, they'd make me a tree."

"Then you'd be the cutest tree there ever was."

Shaking your head, you nudged your nose against his again. "Can we hit pause on talking about the future? I just want to be with you here. Right now."

"Course," Harry said, one corner of his mouth turning up into a crooked grin. "And then maybe we can circle back to you being my puck whatever."

"Shut up."

"Make me!"

And that was something you knew how to do better than your skating routine.

[heeliopheelia]

"mind saying that again?" (heeseung x reader)

genre: fluff word count: 0.7k requested by @icydawon ♡

warnings: suggestive towards the end!!

a/n: okay look idk what the fuck possessed me to end this drabble on such note but i couldn't help it 🤷‍♀️ i planned to keep it completely pg13 but my weakness for affection starved men took over again...

masterlist

With a giggle, you fiddle with the cool ring decorating his middle finger. You're too flustered to meet your boyfriend's gaze, and good for you because if you had, you'd probably end up burning in place at the softness twinkling in Heeseung's eyes as he looked at you.

His thumb rubs the skin of your hand gently before the two of you come to a halt in front of the bricked building of your apartment block.

"Well, text me when you get home, okay?" You ask, finally letting go of his hand and trying not to shiver at the sudden coolness of the crisp fall air hitting your warmed up palm. You tilt your head up to meet his pretty smile. "I won't fall asleep unless I'm sure you made it without getting yourself kidnapped. You're too pretty to walk alone at such hour, you know?"

He lets you pinch his cheek softly before he captures it in his own and moves it to his mouth to brush his lips over your knuckles.

"I'll make sure to do so. Wouldn't want my princess to lose her beauty sleep because of me, would I?"

You raise on your toes to press one last kiss to his cheek. "See you later. Love you."

Your whole world seems to come to a stop as you watch Heeseung's eyes widen with surprise. You suck in a sharp breath, realizing that you mindlessly blurted out the words that have been sitting heavily on your tongue for the past couple months.

Instantly flushing one more time this night, you raise your hand up and try to tuck the hair that the wind's carelessly messed up behind your burning ear.

"I- Uhm, yeah. You know," you stumble out, avoiding his gaze at all cost.

With his thumb and pointer finger, he lifts your chin up and holds it still as he watches the bashful expression blossoming on your face. He hums, eyes glistening at your state and he feels his heart swelling with adoration.

"Mind saying that again, love?"

"I love you too," he says with an uncontained grin. "Damn, you beat me to it. Wanted to be the first one to say it to you."

His voice only makes you weaker in the knees and you hate yourself for responding so eagerly to each and every word of his even after nearly a year of dating.

Feeling your face heating up and betraying you mercilessly, you slither out of his grasp and throw yourself on his body in an attempt to hide your flustered self. Burying your face in his chest, you can feel it vibrating with laughter as he wraps his arms around you loosely and presses his lips to the crown of your head.

"Shut up," you mumble into his chest but tighten your grip on his nonetheless.

"Oh, come on. Say it again, angel," he teases giddily, cold hands slipping underneath your jacket and hitching your sweater up, causing a rush of shivers to run down your spine as his fingers touch your warm skin. "Don't be mean, I've waited so long to hear it from you."

You scoff and pull away from him, raising an eyebrow. "Oh, really? How long?"

"So fucking long it's actually pathetic," he admits and pulls you close by your waist again.

You smile up at him, hand reaching up to cradle his cheek as you raise to your toes and lean up. "Well, if that's the case then I guess it wouldn't be fair of me to keep you on your toes for any longer," you whisper, mouth brushing against his as you press butterfly kisses one after another on his pink lips. "I love you, Heeseung."

And he fucking melts. He squeezes your middle as he ducks down and quickly captures your lips in a full kiss. You gasp in surprise at your boyfriend's sudden rush of eager affection and try to keep up with his greedy mouth.

"Say it again," he whispers into the kiss, hands coming up to cup your face and angle it better for him to suck your bottom lip absolutely maniacally. You're barely present, mind far away in the clouds as he repeats his words with a sudden neediness. "Say it."

And you do, tangling your fingers in his thick hair. "I love you."

"Again."

"Heeseung!" You gasp into his mouth, head dizzy from the lack of air in your lungs.

"C'mon, baby. It's just three words, you can do it."

"I love you."

And with a whine strangled in his throat, he pushes you backwards until you're leaned against the front door of your apartment block, shaky hands raking your pockets in a search for the keys.

"I love you too. More than anything else."

permanent taglist: @bambisgirl @arizejkt19 @luvmura @milisabunny @cathy-1997 @satoruskitchenrag @ramenoil @jenjnk @jaylaxies @yoongspi @nichoswag @s00buwu @dazzlingligth

[reorientation]

It's only been two days but I figured I'd come share one of my favorite fantasies here.

I want a cruel girlfriend who's a staunch lesbian, doesn't care for Men at all or want them touching her. But the moment she meets me, she instantly can tell how much my pussy drips at the thought of a Man using me as He pleases, despite my proudly worn label as a lesbian.

It doesn't happen quickly, for a while she treats me normally. Only involving fantasies about other women, only using her fingers and her mouth to make me cum, never doing anything out of the ordinary for a "lesbian" couple. Until she slowly starts incorporating more Male centric ideas into my head, she asks innocently if I'd mind trying to take a dildo during sex. I agree because it's not like it's actually a Man right?

Then she asks my opinion on her wearing a strap on, by this point she's almost entirely stopped going down on me. Our sex almost entirely comprises of fingering and her dildos that are steadily growing in size. I say yes to her using a strap on, because I love her and want to make her happy. She makes comments about how we're probably the straightest lesbian couple out there.

Before I've realized it, she's now only using a squirting strap on when we have sex. I don't top her at all anymore, I'm a complete pillow princess now. She doesn't finger me or rub my clit anymore, our foreplay entirely exists of her pushing me to my knees to suck her strap. She tells me how I'm suck a natural at having a cock in my mouth.

It isn't until a few weeks later that she truly starts breaking my brain. "This is what you've always wanted, isn't it? To be fucked on all fours by a thick cock about to turn you into a mommy. Maybe we should have a guy fuck you instead since it's what you crave." It's impossible for me to hold back my orgasm when she says that.

One day she blindfolds me and tells me it's just trying something new, I feel her filling my cunt in a way she never has before, almost like she's throbbing. I can't stop whimpering and letting out high pitched moans, it feels like she's gotten so much stronger since the last time we slept together.

I lose count of how much I cum, and she asks my barely there brain if I'd like to see a surprise. When she takes the blindfold off all I can see is not one, but three Men on our bed while she sits next to me, the one in front clearly the person who's been fucking me the whole time.

I'm terrified, I don't understand what's happening but she tells me it's okay, that she understands. I've been calling myself a lesbian this whole time when in reality my sexuality is whatever she wants it to be, and right now she wants me to be a hole for Men. I so obviously loved having a real cock filling me, and I shouldn't deny myself.

By the time the first Man cums inside of me I'm gone, I'm completely lost to cock, there's nothing I want more in life than to be filled and used by Men.

My girlfriend and I have stopped having sex now, anytime she's horny she goes out to find a real lesbian to fuck her, or she texts at least three Men telling them her dyke is begging for His cock again so she can watch me be broken over and over again.

She fills my head with ideas that all Men are better than me, they're entitled to my body because I'm so stupid. Because I shouldn't have been showing off my huge tits in such a tight shirt. Because I denied them access to my holes for so many years when I hadn't rubbed my cunt to girls since before I had met her. And I believe her.

Her favorite days are when I come home a complete mess, having obviously been raped by one of her friends on my way back. She even makes me call them when I touch myself, thanking them and begging for them to be more cruel next time.

I still love her and she still loves me, she just loves ruining me more. She still calls me her lesbian girlfriend, but we both know it's only because it makes Men extra aggressive when breaking me.

I've never been happier than being my girlfriend's ruined dyke.

- 🩵

I don't even think I need to add anything - except to say that this little broken dyke is a very good girl.

[comically-callous]

"Shitty Free Pizza"

Hobie Brown x reader

Warnings: Reader gets broken up with, swearing, crying

A/n: ALRIGHT, FREAKS. I WROTE THE PART 2. Requests are open 😗✌️

"I'm going on break."

That was all you said to your four coworkers before grabbing your jacket and walking outside. You walked to the side of the building and sat on the curb.

Your boyfriend had just broken up with you. Over text. While you were at work. You didn't know what to do, how to react.

You pulled out your phone and read over the message he'd sent you. And then you read it again, and again, and again.

He'd made two typos. The asshole breaks up with you over text and he can't even be bothered to read over the message before sending it.

You didn't know what to do. You didn't want to cry over this asshole, you really didn't want to. But, despite what you wanted, tears began to roll down your cheeks; and once you started, you couldn't stop.

You put your head in your hands and sobbed. You probably looked pathetic. A Domino's employee, still in uniform, sitting in the parking lot and crying. How embarrassing.

"Oi!" You lifted and turned your head. A tall man dressed in clothes that were way cooler than yours was looking at you. "You alright?" He asked.

"Obviously not." The reply came out sounding a bit more condescending than you'd intended.

The man didn't seem to mind. He chuckled. "Guess I probably could've figured that one out on my own, huh?" The man stepped closer. "What's bothering you?"

You briefly considered calling the dude nosy and telling him to fuck off, but something made you stop.

He didn't seem ill intentioned...

You looked down at the concrete. "My boyfriend just broke up with me over text."

"Really?"

You nodded.

"What a prick. Y'mind if I sit down?" He gestured to the slab of concrete next to where you were sitting. You shrugged and he took that as a yes.

He sat with his elbows resting on his knees. "And he did this while you were at work too?" He asked.

You nodded again.

"That's fucked."

"I just..." You didn't know why you were talking to this guy you didn't even know. But, then again, you didn't really care at this point. "I feel stupid for crying over it."

"Why?"

"Because you're right!" You said exasperatedly. "He's a prick and what he did was fucked. And here I am, crying over this asshole. It's pathetic."

He hummed. "I get that." He tilted his head toward you. "But, once you're done crying, are you gonna try to get him back?"

You furrowed your brows in confusion. You weren't even gonna consider that. "No."

Are you gonna be sad about this for years to come?"

"No."

"Y'gonna give up dating altogether and insist that he left an unfillable hole in your heart?"

"Why are you asking me this shit?"

"Because if you were really pathetic, you probably would've said something other than no to those questions."

You paused, letting his words marinate. And then you chuckled. "Yeah. Sure."

"I'm serious!" He laughed. "There's a lot worse things to do in this situation than just crying."

"I guess you're right." You sighed. "But, still. I don't think venting to a stranger is one of the better things to do."

He chuckled. "I'm Hobie."

"I'm Y/n." You were surprised that this random guy was actually making you feel better. But, you weren't gonna complain.

"Now we're not strangers. Which hopefully means you'll tell me a little more about yourself and about this whole breakup."

You, once again, considered calling him nosey. But, for some reason, you weren't opposed to the idea of telling him more.

"Well," You began. "He and I had been dating for 5 months, for the first three or four months, he was really sweet. But... I don't know. This last month he was being really distant and he was always seeming kind of disinterested in me."

"So, was there any real reason for the breakup?" He asked.

"It was sort of out of nowhere. We didn't have a big argument or anything."

"This guy really does sound like a prick." Hobie scoffed. "I've only just met you, but you seem pretty cool."

"Thanks."

"Yeah. Besides who'd ever wanna break up with someone who could get them free pizza?" He smirked playfully.

You couldn't help but laugh. "Shitty free pizza." You corrected him.

He shrugged. "Doesn't matter if the food's shitty, long as it's free."

You opened your mouth to reply to him when someone called your name, one of your coworkers.

"It's been 20 minutes." Your coworker said, peeking their head around the corner of the building.

You sighed and got up. "I've gotta go." You told Hobie as you stuffed your hands into the pockets of your jacket. "Thanks for keeping me company."

"It's no problem. I enjoyed it." He said, smiling up at you.

You wanted to ask for his number, or his socials, whatever. But, you'd just gotten out of a breakup. It felt wrong asking for someone's number so soon, even if it wasn't really with romantic intentions. So instead, you just said goodbye and went back to work.

You got inside and were taking your jacket off.

"Who was that guy you were talking to?" Your coworker asked.

You glanced over at them and shrugged. "A stranger."

"He was really hot."

You paused before signing. "Yeah, he was."

[indecenthoney]

Free-Use Agreement

------------------------------------------

"Mmm... What time is it- Okay...That's not good... Random girl on my chest... Great... Fuck me... How much did I drink last night? Mm... Alright... Hey hun... You awake? C'mon, it's morning, we should clean you u- H-holy shit... You gotta be kidding me... Hey hey hey... Don't you go freaking out on me... What do you mean? I'm just as confused as you are... Well, excuse me... This is my bed... My room... For all we know... Youuuu could have followed me in here and had your way with me... Don't play that card... Men can get touched too... Wow... Really? Who would sleep with me? You! Apparently..."

To catch you all up on this sudden predicament, my roommate and I made plans to spend a night out in the city. A little drinking to ease the stress of the week. One thing led to another and after a couple of brain-numbing shots, everything went hazy. From the looks of it, neither of us had any memories of that night. Days would pass without a word. I mean to wake up with your roommate balls deep inside of you? I don't blame her for reacting the way she did. Surprisingly, we went about our day as usual. There really was nothing to write home about. However, the tension during dinner time was unbearable. I didn't necessarily hate her or anything. It was more of our dynamic. We'd bicker and tease each other back and forth. Then we'd have our occasional pranks. But now, I couldn't even look at her in the eye. The short moments of eye contact would bring me back to her squeezing down on me. Even the sight of her lips would send me into shock hearing her squirm as I pulled out. Fuck. What if it was me? What if I did force myself on her? The guilt was eating at me. And I couldn't even fathom a proper way of apologizing to her. The fucked up thing is the amount of times I've masturbated to that mome-

"H-hm? Sorry I was kind of blanking out... What were you saying? No no... What? I should be the one apologizing... This whole thing could have been avoided if I didn't drink so much... I mean... What if I did do something? You're right... I'm overreacting... Sorry... I just didn't wanna make it all... weird... you know... Both of our faults, huh? Alright alright, I can work with that... Bright side? And what's that? The fact we fucked each other... True... I guess it was better than that fuck boy hitting you up all night... Ain't that right, baby girl? Hahahah! Sooooo you're not mad at me? Good cause I couldn't fucking eat... Hey... I was embarrassed too... But since we're good... We can move past this... I can finally stomach this foo- Sorry what?"

There it was again. That uneasy feeling. My jaw had dropped at the presentation of her proposal. Completely caught off guard from her shy disposition. After knowing her for years, it felt like I barely knew her. I mean she was the type of girl that would blush at the mention of a crush. So to utter such words was completely out of character. I'm sure she was just pulling my leg. Trying to get a reaction out of me. She insisted that there would be days when our "lust" would get the best of us. And that this little arrangement didn't have to end. She then offered me full reign on using her as long as we were in the apartment. To further justify her proposal, she claimed that it was better than fucking some random in a bar. She said all this while never once looking at me. I was not completely opposed to the idea. Just bewildered. She was hot. Believe me. If it were any other guy they would literally jump at the opportunity. But surely, she was just pulling my leg.

"Hahaha... You're joking... This is a test, right? So you can call me a fucking perv... Hahah very funny... You almost got me... Hey... What're you-"

On her knees, she carefully navigated around my sweatpants. Pulling out my throbbing member into the scene. There soft kisses met at every inch of me. Her supple tongue rubbing along the back of my head exacerbated my already breathy moans. The warmth of her mouth enveloped the entirety of me causing my eyes to roll back. Even after steeling myself, her teasing had already stopped, waiting patiently around my cock. Literally forcing my hand, urging me to act if I wanted even a crumb of pleasure. A battle of morality that I was sure to lose. Gently my hands cupped around her face, framing her perfectly before bobbing her relentlessly downward. Spit and tears would soon follow. The gentle touch that I once had quickly crumbled and devolved into such an animalistic instinct to fuck and release. My hand now decorated around a fistful of her hair. A pattern of forcing her down even deeper into me before fucking her mouth with shallow strokes. In my euphoric haze, I had no intention of savoring her lips. And in moments, I was quickly brought to the edge. She kicked and squirmed. Painfully gripping down onto my thighs. Nails digging into me as the cum hit the back of her throat. My body jerked and convulsed; leaving me to lean back into my chair. Exhausted. Without a word, she quickly got up and made her way to her room. I was confused. Was it all just a little prank that gone wrong? A little tease that went too far. That uneasy feeling made its way back into me. Feeling that all the progress had reset once more.

"H-hey... Where are you- Fuck..."

The following day, I would hear little shuffles coming from the living room. In a rush, I got myself out of bed to catch her. But she was already halfway out the door before I could even greet her. Unable to speak of yesterday's happenings. I would then spend the rest of the day cleaning off the apartment. Anything to keep my mind off of our current situation. There was no point in dwelling on something I couldn't fix at the moment. Before I knew it, time would pass. After taking my place on the couch, it was just about time for dinner. What to eat? Dinner. Dinner. Dinner? My mind would soon flood once again with yesterday's events. The rush of blood made it difficult to focus. In the heat of the moment, I thought it'd be wise to deal with it before she arrived home. Stroking myself without regard to being caught. Reminiscing the feeling of the back of her throat. I was lost in it. So much so that I didn't quite hear the unlocking of the front door. The hue of red painted across her face due to my exhibition. The relentless rhythm of slick precum echoed throughout the room. She stood there silently watching my frustration and discomfort; before finally gathering the courage to call out to me.

"Fuck... Mmph... Huh? O-oh shit! H-Heyyy youuuu... Uhm... And how... long have you been standing there? No way... Really...? Sorry about that... I'm just a little... uhm... pent up... is all... I didn't think you'd be home so soon... I see... Sorry what? Does it hurt? Nooo, just a little uncomfortable... but never mind that... Since you're here... I really think we should talk about yesterda-"

Without warning, it was then she offered up her services once more. Her shaky fingers slowly unbuttoning her worktop. To the drop of her pencil skirt that hugged her waist so perfectly. Revealing her lacy black bra and stockings before placing herself atop the seat across me. Her eyes peering behind her disheveled hair; fixated on a corner of the room to avoid my gaze. The slow march of her fingers, tracing along the center line of her panties. Teasingly putting on a show. Only for her actions to backfire. Maybe to her realization, it was more than showing off her body. She was being watched so intensely by someone she knew. It was embarrassing. Sure. But even so, her slender fingers continued to press along her cunt with more fervor. Spreading herself ever so often as if she was showing me the spot that needed attention the most. Such a lecherous display. Without thought, I found myself standing in front of her. With how little she seemed, it was like a little animal backed against a corner. Trembling. My hand pushing her back against the couch. I leaned in close pressing my entire weight. My cock now throbbing eagerly against her cunt. And the subtle buck of her hips that answered back in response. It was then all reason would be completely thrown out the window.

"Fuck... There you go... teasing me again... What's wrong? You're shaking... Look... See? You did this... so it's only natural... that you fix it, right?"

The tear of stockings. Panties gently pushed to the side. Entering ever so slowly into her depths. Her eyes begin to flicker and roll. An insatiable throb making it all the worse. Never truly easing up despite the time that has passed. And in turn, my patience wearing thin. Slow, yet gentle movements take place causing her to pull tightly on my shirt. Pulling me closer into her embrace; digging her canines right into my shoulder. The sudden sensation causing me to jerk deeper into her. Stifled moans leaking through pierced flesh. Her bite reduced to a slobbering nibble. Despite her pleads, her reactions only brought out the worst in me. Thrusting into her as if my life depended on it. There her legs were propped onto my shoulders. Forcing myself deeper into her. Slamming down. My hands coiled around her pretty little neck. Watching her eyes shoot up as the stimulation reaches its peak. My body failing to support me leading me to slump over her with ragged breaths. A pale liquid now dripping down her holes. Both too cum-brained and tired to actually function. I laid by her side silently, stroking her hair, before inevitably falling asleep. Later, I found myself still on the couch and her nowhere to be seen.

"Mmm... Fuckkkk me... I really have to stop thinking with my dick..."

Having not eaten anything the night before, I would find myself wondering off to the kitchen. The aroma of eggs and bacon soon filled the room. A scent that would make any person's mouth water. There my roommate stood, humming quietly to herself, who was just about done cooking. She sported the same lacey-black panties; paired with an apron whilst still being topless. My caveman brain doing its best to process the sight in front of me. Only for my other head to do all the thinking. I was no better than animal. An alluring doll figure that tempted me so. Breakfast became the last thing on my mind. Eager to ease my dilemma, I positioned myself between her supple thighs. She insisted on eating first, but soon her moans would overtake her logic. Grinding away on her thighs, slightly pressed against her cunt.

"Morning... Sorry I know I know... Breakfast sounds good... and we should totally eat... But after I'm done I promise... Just keep those thighs pressed... Alright?"

And so she pressed. Her thick thighs surround my member. Her cunt slicked with juices dripping down her thigh making it all the easier to fuck her with. My mind gradually slipping from me. Her arm twisted behind her, serving as my handle to further my aggressive motion. Within a matter of minutes, my composure had crumbled. Hunched over her; moaning against the back of her neck. The climax drawing near as the tip jabbed roughly against her cunt. Causing me to release an unholy amount. Once again tainting her poor panties. After cleaning ourselves up, we went on to eat the breakfast she had prepared. Making small talk proved to be difficult as her mind was elsewhere.

"Uhm... Thanks for making breakfast today... I- uhhh really like the way you made the eggs... I can't handle overcooked eggs... Haha... Soooo... Do you have any plans today? No... O-oh okay..."

It would seem that our little situation would only get more and more awkward as time progressed. Talks would be less frequent. Yet our time together never quite dwindled. I happen to catch her at the most unfortunate of times. Sweat dripping down her breasts on a sultry day. Eating and licking a popsicle on some random afternoon. Or even bent over searching for something underneath her bed. All events leading me to fuck her senseless. It had gotten to the point where I would often just pull her to the side, if need be, to satiate my own selfish desires. Even relaxing on the couch would be a trigger to pull her up on my lap before making out with her. Our tongues welcoming one another. Breathy moans, subtle whimpers filling my mouth. Her arms wrapped around my head to position herself into a deeper kiss. My cock throbbing impatiently against the opening. Pushing her down completely to take the full length. A shrill moan escapes her mouth. Having her rock her hips despite her sensitivity. Brought to tears by the stimulation. The buck of her hips as I toy relentlessly with her clit. Her body shuddered. Yet another load fucked into her. My hips pushing back up to plug it all in. She laid against me worn out and weak. Tears running down as she rested her head on my shoulder.

"Dude? You're crying? W-what's wrong? Am I being too rough? Fuck... I'm sorry... I-It's okay... Let it out... I'm here... Just relax and breathe... I gotchu... Not going anywhere..."

Sweet nothings cooed into her ear. Finger tips moving through silky hair. Tracing along her back. Before running up once again, diving deep underneath her locks to scritch and scrotch the roots. Having her melt under my gentle hand. Effortlessly her consciousness begins to dwindle. With her eyes closed, I kissed her forehead, wishing her sweet dreams. Holding her closely throughout the night just as I promised. Not leaving her side. The feeling of dread and guilt seeping into me. Going a bit too far with my desires. Having it take a toll on her. I had to change.

"Ohh heyyy morning sleepy head! C'mon what you waiting for? I made pancakes! Get them while they're still hot... So blueberry syrup or strawberry... We also have Nutella... Did you sleep good? Yeah? Oop- Sorry just let me... Yeah, you have a little schmuck on your face... Prolly cause you were drooling in your sleep... Yeah, it's a lot... I know how much you love them... I don't know... I just wanted make you a little something to thank you... After last night it must've been a lot for you... So I promise I'll stop... I never wanted to make you cry... Ah no... Shush... No need to explain... I made my decision and I take full responsibility... You just sit there and eat your pancakes... Alright? Me? I'm gonna go for a run real quick... I'll see you later!"

As much as I enjoyed living that fantasy, it wasn't worth hurting her. We went about our days as usual any time we could. When she would start to get nervous, I would often take some time away. Her eyes would begin to drift. Or her thighs would begin to clench. Little tells. The poor thing was probably still traumatized. I could only imagine. She probably felt unsafe; thinking I would pounce at her at any moment. The lecherous eyes that once analyzed every inch of her body. Now being completely docile. It is a bit sketchy. But no more. I made a promise to myself. Above all, she was my friend. I planned to restore our friendship as much as I could. And to repent, I refrained from any of my usual pervy activities. A bit troublesome at first. But keeping myself busy usually did the trick. I mean you can't cum if your dead tired at the end of the day!

"Oh? You're home! Was just about to watch a movie... Care to join me? I have popcorn... Hahaha did the popcorn seal the deal? Yeah? Right right... You know... Been a while since we hung out... Ready?"

It went about normally as you'd expect. We made our little jokes, reminisced of old memories, and even poked fun at each other. It was like the past few weeks were a blur. I was happy.

"Probably 7/10... In all honesty I was bit focused on you yapping than the movie... So my rating can be a bit skewed... Not my fault that you're more interesting... You wanna watch another? Still a bit early for us to go to bed... Yeah? Sweet... Let me pick a random one... Hm? Yeah its a bit chilly... I have blanket on me if you wanna use it... No it's fine... Really... Cuddle? Uhm... If you want to... Yeah yeah... I'm comfortable... Hahaha... Here... Best seat in the house..."

Taking place in between my lap, the scent of shampoo filled my head. My huge frame towering over her delicate figure. There she sat awaiting a response, but communication failing me. The movie played yet my mind fixated on tearing this little lamb to shreds. I could push her into couch while I filled her ass to the brim. Have her jerk me off with her leaky cunt. Or even watch her cry and beg as she worships my cock with her throat. And how easily said tasks could be done. Her scolding bringing me back to my senses. Ass pressed against me causing me to groan in pain.

"H-hahahah I-I'm alright... I just.... I'm not... I'm not feeling too well... No no I-It's fine really... I should head on to bed... Get some sleep and I'll be good as new... Thanks for the movie..."

Rushing over to my room, I quickly occupied my desk trying to find something to do. If I could just touch myself I would actually have some solution to this unending throb. Every game was on maintenance. Each friend too busy. And the internet far too slow to stream anything decent. The littlest of things agitated me and I was at my wit's end. A knock at the door resounded into my room. I wanted to chuck my chair at the door.

"Now's not the best time! Can we talk about it tomorrow? And you're in my room... Great... What do you wan-"

There she stood in an oversized band tee; inching towards me. My nails digging into my seat inhubiting all the carnal urge to pin her against the wall. The pacing of my breath irregular and my heart pounding. To my realization, not a single word was said to me after she entered my room. Confused. I took a moment to peer at her face, but not a single thought existed behind those eyes. That overly sized shirt slowly creeping up above her waist. Revealing herself bare and needy.

"U-uhm... D-dude... I think you're forgetting to wear something... H-hey hey hey... What're you-"

This time I was the one cornered; unable to get up from my seat for it would only escalate the situation. Both of her hands planted on my thigh, thoroughly grinding her bare cunt along it. A moist trail tracked along my sweats. Never did she break her teary gaze, pleasuring herself to the rough texture. With how eager she started off, it was suprising to see her slow down. Her movements begin to jitter and shake. A slow lag became apparent. She sat there fidgeting with slow motions. Resisting her own climax.

"And who told you stop? C'mon... If you don't keep rocking those hips... I'll have to do it for you... Understood? Now move... That's a good girl.... Hey hey hey... My eyes are up here... It's rude to look at something else when I'm talking to you... Mhm mhm... You're doing such a good job... Fucking yourself for me... Oh? Is someone close? No? Then why are we slowing down? Keep... moving... Excuse me? "Please" isn't going help you here... You either cum or you don't... You have complete control over it... So tell me... If you wanted to cum so badly... Why'd you stop? C'mon spit it out... Walking in here... Grinding your filthy little cunt against me... Oh? I get it now... You want my permission... That's it, isn't it? All this mess for my approval... God you're such fucking perv... You know what? If you want it so bad... Why don't you take it..?"

It wasn't exactly an easy task to outright pull your roommate's dick out and fuck yourself on it. On the other hand, I was enjoying her reactions. A little hesitant at first, but she managed to pull my cock out. Her hand gently stroking along my member. Something she's grown familiar with these past few weeks. Her ass pressed against the tip of my cock. Guiding it along her slit to position it just right for the opening. Even with all that eager grinding, we found it difficult slide in completely. Hopping off my lap, she quickly got to her knees. Her soft tongue placed on the back of the tip. Her breath hit me causing me to twitch against her mouth. Drool slowly soaking the entire length. Her lips close giving it one final kiss before trying once more.

"Not so fast... Why don't you turn around... Welllll I wanna watch you enjoy yourself, of course... if you're going to be using me then I should at least be able to watch... I mean I'm not some toy you can just hop on for a bit... Unless that's the way you look at me... Right right... No no... I believe you..."

Timidly she crawled onto my lap, hovering over me, still completely anxious of what's to come. Deep breaths fill her chest before easing herself into my lap. Reaching into her depths, her head knocked back from the pleasure. Taking but a moment to claim herself again. Having been fucked all this time, she wasn't quite used to taking charge. She was scared. Yet never once did that stop her. Watching her sloppily shake her hips on my lap. Putting on her best performance. That insatiable throb coming back once again. Making us both moan. My hands grabbed her anxious hips giving way to a more gentle motion. Teaching her but the proper way. Not needing to rush nor having to please me but herself. Despite my provocation, this actually was for her. I found that it would be easier to use me if she saw how much I was enjoying it too. Watching her cunt continuously consume me. And even if I wanted to stay cool, I just couldn't.

"A-ahahaha... Mmm... Mmmpphh... Uhm... C-can you s-slow down a bit..? F-fuck... I r-really... Ughhh.... Mmm.... I-I really can't.... D-dude.... I m-might cum soon... S-slow down will you... Aaa..."

I was close. God, was I fucking close. A sick and twisted smile plastered over my face. Feeling fear. That once small and harmless animal now cornering me. It's ironic. So much so you can't help but just watch. This little thing was riding me like it was her job. Seeing as how I've become a complete mess under her guidance. Her movements became more erratic. Fucking herself on my cock. Getting off on more than just the pleasure, but by my reactions. Milking more and more of those tasteful sounds. Her cunt bouncing on the tip. The final straw. A violent string of orgasms causing me to moan into her mouth. Weeks of not being able to cum, now taking a toll on me. I sat back in defeat. Before I could even say another word, her lips were already locked around mine. Soft kisses meet at my lips. Not another single word was said between us that night. There was no uneasy feeling. Or guilt. I was happy. And she looked pretty damn happy too.

"Morning sleepy... Why so red? You only fucked my brains out and made out with me for half the night... Shut up? Or what? Gonna ride me again? Hahahahah... Oh nooo I'm so scared... Are you sure you don't remember who fucked who that night? I'm starting to think it was you... Ow ow ow okay okay... Hahahaha... So ready for round two? Ow ow okay... Jeez... Breakfast? Cool cool... I didn't hear no though so.... H-hey hey relax-"

---------------------------------------------------

No Lube, No Protection

Honey

[marthawrites]

Hello friends! My name is Martha and I'm a wife, mom, and nerd about a whole lot of things. I'm officially in my 30s, a libra sun, aries moon, and leo rising.

• Aemond Targaryen simp

• Cryptid and monster lover

• Wannabe writer

Archived here will be an assortment of writing resources I find useful, fandom stuff, fandom writing, (maybe one day) horror writings, and things I generally enjoy. So, a hodgepodge! I try to tag most things - look in my search bar! Followers better be 18+ due to adult content on this blog because I am gross and shameless.

Requests OPEN for Rhaenyra Targaryen, Harwin Strong, and Rhaenyra x Harwin x fem reader

Check out my tag #other peoples writing for all the fics I've read and LOVED ♥ Huge shout out to all the wonderful, talented, and unhinged writers on this platform! MWAH!

Masterlist beneath the line! 

Any and all errors and mistakes are my own. I do not use a beta reader. All of these fics, unless otherwise stated, are non-descript female readers. All of these fics are based on my own interpretations of characters and events from the show, House of the Dragon, and the book, Fire and Blood. Any likeness or similarities to other author's fics is unintentional. I am open to private constructive criticism as I believe there is always room for improvement. Each fic is marked with the month and year that it was completed.

Aemond Targaryen:

One shots:

12/ 22 Knees:  (aemond x wife 18+) during a dinner you witness a Lannister relentlessly flirting with a young lady who’s clearly uncomfortable. Taking matters into your own hands, you begin flirting with him to steal his attention away. Aemond, your husband, only plays along for so long before he dismisses both of you and takes things into his own hands.

12/22 Greed: (aemond x wife 18+) Aemond just really likes eating his wife, even when there’s a servant knocking on their door to wake them up to get ready for a mid-morning event.

12/22 A Surprise in the Library: (aemond x wife 18+) Aemond’s wife surprises him with something that the morning’s kitchen staff was talking about. So much for peaceful studying in the library!

1/23 Darkened Corridors: (aemond x fem reader 18+) After avoiding Aemond for what he deems too long, he finds you to remind you what you’ve been missing out on.

1/23 A Lady’s Thrill: (aemond x wife 18+) A stressed Aemond returns late and his lady wife helps him de-stress.

5/23 Teaching A Dragon New Tricks: (aemond x fem reader 18+) You and Prince Aemond have been giving each other eyes for some time now, and he finally makes the first move. After that, you feel comfortable showing him a few things. His drive for knowledge extends beyond books.

6/23 A Dragonkeeper's Secret: (aemond x fem reader 18+) After being disappointed by a fellow dragonkeeper, an event in the dragonpit makes you think: perhaps not all men are disappointing.

6/23 Leather and Silver: (aemond x wife reader 18+) There's something about your prince husband's belt that successfully drives you mad with lust.

7/23 Only A Scratch: (aemond x fem reader 18+) Aemond requests you, a healer who has tended to his wounds before, to accompany him on a trip to Duskendale.

10/23 Summer's End, Autumn's Beginning: (modern aemond x fem reader 18+) A chance encounter with Aemond leads to a whirlwind of emotions. Over the next few months you both fail, in yourselves and in the relationship, and learn from the mistakes.

10/23 To Break The Tension: (modern aemond x fem reader 18+) You and Aemond have a no strings attached relationship. He has a surprise for you and you are more than excited to go see what it is.

12/23 Morning Lovebites Lead To Sweet Dreams: (aemond x wife reader 18+) You and Aemond share a morning bath and the lingering sensations last with you all day. When he returns to your marriage chambers later than usual, you're sad you might sleep through his return. Once in for the night, however, he makes up for it.

1/24 Shadows, Beastsong, and Dragonblood: (aemond x niece reader 18+) Growing up you and your uncle Aemond always shared a special kinship. As you grew older, tension between your family and his rose. Moving to Dragonstone led to long years of not seeing each other. When you and your mother visited her father, King Viserys, yours and Aemond's relationship changed. It changed further, years later, upon your final visit to the capitol.

1/24 Red Lions and Hidden Dragons: (unnamed male x Lannister!fem reader & aemond x Lannister!fem reader 18+) Close kin to Jason and Tyland Lannister, you arrive to King's Landing with a party of fellow lions to celebrate the birth of Prince Maelor Targaryen. You weren't expecting to catch Prince Aemond's eye, but once you do, neither of you can forget it.

3/24 "Vok" (Perfect): (aemond targaryen x sister reader 18+) You and Aemond pledged to each other long ago. Tonight, beneath the blanket of darkness, you revel in each other's adoration.

6/24 Bloodlust: (aemond targaryen x wife reader 18+) Aemond, unable to leave you behind in King's Landing on his way to Rook's Rest, returns to you after a successful scouting mission.

Mini Series:

3/23 (pt 1) Pretty Girl: (modern aemond x fem reader 18+) There's been some weird stuff happening in the woods and your boss buys top of the line security cameras. You definitely weren't expecting to hit it off so well with the tech guy who is much more than a tech guy.

4/23 (pt 2) A Game of Chase: (modern aemond x fem reader 18+) You and your best friend go out to a local event. While there, Aemond, surprisingly, makes an appearance. With quick wit you pretend like it's your first time meeting. Equally quick and curious, he plays along. A game of chase ends up with some unexpected aftershocks.

3/23 (pt 1) Midnight Passage: (aemond x fem reader 18+) Despite the Prince Regent seeing to his royal duties, Aemond's lover is insatiable and seeks to find him late into the night.

4/23 (pt 2) Beneath the Prince Regent: (aemond x fem reader 18+) After your little disturbance in the Prince Regent's study, Aemond finally comes to bed.

7/23 (pt 1) After The Closing Shift: (modern aemond targaryen x fem reader 18+) You and Aemond have been best friends for years. The time is finally right for him to admit his true feelings. In the process of doing so, your cheating ex appears back in the picture. Unexpected events follow.

8/23 (pt 2) After The Study Session: (modern aemond targaryen x fem reader 18+) Through the chaos of college and work, yours and Aemond's friendship continues to shift in a new direction. Jason can't seem to accept he's lost you. You and Aemond take matters into your hands to make sure he knows it.

10/23 (pt 1) Summer's End, Autumn's Beginning: (modern aemond x fem reader 18+) A chance encounter with Aemond leads to a whirlwind of emotions. Over the next few months you both fail, in yourselves and in the relationship, and learn from the mistakes.

5/24 (pt 2) Between the Covers: (modern aemond x fem reader 18+) During a cozy night in at your place, Aemond discovers your new taste for “literature”. Upon confronting you about it he makes a deal. Part of you wants to say no… but, you ultimately agree to his terms.

Series: On Hiatus

1/23 The Arbor and the Dragon: Chapter one, Betrothed :  A realm upon the brink of war. Alicent reaches out to your father, Lord Redwyne, to marry Aemond Targaryen to you. If the union officiates, the green Targaryens will receive the aid of Lord Redwyne’s fleet. You sail to King’s Landing to meet the young prince, to weigh if this is a marriage you truly want.

2/23 The Arbor and the Dragon: Chapter two, Discovery :  After the official betrothal, you learn more about Aemond with each passing day. You're unsure to be scared or excited with these discoveries, but he always leaves you wanting more.

2/23 The Arbor and the Dragon: Chapter three, Experience : (18+) As promised, Aemond takes you for another ride on Vhagar. This time he shows you a hidden place that he’s always loved. New experiences unfold.

6/23 The Arbor and the Dragon: Chapter four, Moonlight: Tension around the Red Keep grows. Rumors begin spreading about yours and Aemond's time spent together. Jane, your best friend and lady-in-waiting, reminds you of your favorite summer festival back home. You write Aemond a letter in secret and request his company at the beach. Emotions are high and promises are made.

Daemon Targaryen and Rhaenyra Targaryen:

Mini Series:

12/22 (pt 1) A Gift for the Queen:  (daemon x rhaenyra x fem reader 18+) It’s Rhaenyra’s birthday eve and Daemon surprises her with an unexpected gift.

5/23 (pt 2) The Gift That Keeps Giving: (daemon x rhaenyra x fem reader 18+) You've happily stayed with Daemon and Rhaenyra since her birthday. They have a little game up their sleeve to play with you.

5/24 (pt 3) The Post-Flying Gift: (daemon x rhaenyra x fem reader) A rare fully sunny day beckons Daemon and Rhaenyra to fly their dragons above Dragonstone for hours. You are more than happy to watch them in flight. When they return, their dragonblood runs hot.

Daemon Targaryen:

One Shots:

6/23 Punishment: (daemon x poc wife reader 18+) Just because you're in the honeymoon phase with the Rogue Prince doesn't mean you can escape a proper punishment for disrespect.

8/23 A Day in the Life: (modern daemon x fem reader 18+) It's barely dawn and you want to have a little fun with Daemon before work. Your job unexpectedly calls and plans change. Flirty and risque texts on the clock leads to him picking you up in both your favorite car.

9/23 Sand and Sky: (daemon x poc fem reader 18+) Upon arriving to King's Landing with your cousin, Criston Cole, you meet Daemon Targaryen. Little time passes before desire of the flesh overtake both of you.

9/23 The Night's Conquest: (daemon x fem reader 18+) It's Daemon's last night in King's Landing and he seeks one final comfort at the Blue Pearl.

6/24 Devour: (daemon x wife reader 18+) The early days of your moon's blood are always the worst. During your suffering, your husband, the Rogue Prince, takes it upon himself to help ease you.

Rhaenyra Targaryen:

One shots:

9/23 Honeyed Promises: (rhaenyra x fem reader 18+) While visiting your great uncle, Lyman Beesbury, at King's Landing, you weren't expecting secondhand stress to affect your lord husband so. Princess Rhaenyra takes notice and is happy to steal moments away with you.

2/24 A Not So Hidden Secret: (modern rhaenyra x fem reader 18+) Rhaenyra discovers something in the bedroom that you, admittedly, forgot about, but didn't want her to know about!

3/24 Beneath the Blooming Branches: (rhaenyra x fem reader) Spring has officially sprung. You and Rhaenyra enjoy a quiet afternoon strolling and picnicking in the gardens.

3/24 A Tale of Two Moons: (rhaenyra x fem reader) At the end of a long day Rhaenyra shares a tale with you, and then offers to share more.

Harwin Strong:

One shots:

12/23 Harrenhal Butterflies: (modern harwin x fem reader 18+) Sparks flew between you and Harwin before slinking off together during a work dinner, and they continue to fly afterwards. Unprompted, you both slink off together once again during an elective work trip to Harrenhal. Tension ends up breaking in a most unexpected place.

2/24 Matinee Delight: (modern harwin x fem reader 18+) While on a cinema date, the movie ends up being something you don't like. You try to talk your boyfriend, Harwin, into bailing early for something more fun.

Harwin Strong and Rhaenyra Targaryen

8/24 A Shared Bed: (harwin x betrothed fem reader x rhaenyra 18+) Harwin gets into an arranged marriage to stop the rumors about him and Rhaenyra. He really likes his betrothed but he loves Rhaenyra. He tells his betrothed, "I can't choose between you and her." She says, "I don't want you to choose. I want in, the bed is large enough."

Helaena Targaryen

One shots:

6/24 Visions in the Garden: (helaena and kids) After breakfast, Helaena takes her twins for a walk through the royal garden.

[hollandsfavbabe]

Where Do We Go Now

pairing: peter parker x stark!reader

synopsis: in which the death of y/n's father leaves her determined to bring him back and her boyfriend peter determined to save her

warnings: endgame aftermath, death, parental loss, isolation, suicide attempt (but magical?), it gets better - I promise

word count: 7.1k

masterlist

a/n: Hey guys. This is going to be a bit longer than my usual notes, but I feel like I should explain why I've been gone for so long and why this story is a lot sadder than my usual ones. My community has been riddled with tragedy recently as we've lost a lot of people to suicide this past year, some of which have been as young as middle school age. One of my friends died by suicide a couple months ago. I can't express to you guys how hard it's been trying to deal with the pain and the guilt his death has caused me and my loved ones. So many days have passed where I wish I could've been a better friend for him while he was here. It hurts more knowing that other people are hurting too. Writing this was the best way for me to cope for many reasons. I wanted to write about how I'm feeling and honor my friend in some way even if it's through a silly little fanfiction. I know I'm late, but I also wanted to honor one of my favorite characters, Tony Stark as he canonically died this past October. That being said, if you are struggling please, I implore you, talk to someone. There are so many people on this planet who would be so torn without you. My dms are always a safe space if you need anything at all <3

Also I'd like to thank Gracie Abrams for her music that I had on repeat the entire time I was writing this. I hope you like it!

“I am Iron Man.”

The words replayed in your head, over and over like a broken record with no one to turn it to a new tune. That’s exactly how you felt. So alone in your grief that even if miraculously every wish you'd ever made in the whole of your existence had been granted, it still wouldn’t be enough to make you happy again. To make you feel anything besides the constant regret and incessant grief that anchored you down as you wasted away in your bed.

It had been exactly a week since the passing of the great Tony Stark. Everyone else in the compound had mourned their coworker, riddled by a somewhat lesser version of your sadness for only a few days after his death. It’s not as if their grief had been washed away as if it never stained their cheeks with tears or weighed down their hearts with sorrow, but it eased much quicker than yours and before long they could continue their duties. Everything was so much harder for you because Tony hadn’t just been a coworker. He was your father.

You relieved every memory you had of him like bittersweet torture. You remembered when he held you as a little girl, wiping up a bloodied knee. When he discovered you had powers and helped you control them. Later on when he banned you from joining in on the Avenger’s Civil War and afterwards when he thanked you for sneaking in to help anyway. You could almost feel his comforting embrace as if it was only yesterday that he was assuring you before a failed battle against the mad Titan Thanos, the same one that left you dusted and missing your father’s last five years on Earth. And finally, of course, you remember his last moments all too well. It played out before you like the tragic ending of a stage play. 

“Let me do it,” you shouted over the sound of war cries and carnage that surrounded you on the packed battlefield. “I can take it!”

You were almost certain that your power, your immeasurable magic, could handle the debilitating strength of the Infinity Stones making you the most reasonable choice for snapping Thanos and his army out of existence, but your father refused to risk losing his eldest.

“No,” he breathed, the metal plate shielding his chest rising and falling from the heat of the action. There was only one way to succeed, only one way to put a stop to the destruction of the universe. It had to be him. “I won’t risk losing you, not while you’re still so young. You have so much life ahead of you.”

“Not without you!” you cried, a tear streaming from your eye.

There wasn’t much time for your conversation as the world was moments away from being wiped of its human history, but despite the odds your father pulled you into a tight hug, as if he knew it would be the last. You both did.

“You are the strongest person I’ve ever known and I’m so proud of what you’ve become already.” he smiled when you finally pulled apart.

“I need you dad,” you sobbed, still reluctant to let him leave you. With the threat of his death, suddenly Thanos’ defeat didn’t matter anymore. Not nearly as much as having your father by your side. “I’m not ready.”

Your dad looked down on you with the saddest of smiles, but if any part of him was upset about his decision, he made no other hint toward it. He just held you close for as long as possible and comforted you in the way that you could always count on him for. In the way, it hit you, that you could never count on him for again. But yet, in the face of death, he cradled you close and spoke in his signature fatherly tone: assertive yet on the edge of softness.

“No one’s ever ready -,” he answered truthfully. “- but I know you can handle it. You always do.”

You looked up at him as he finally pulled away and headed towards the purple giant, but not before turning to you for one final declaration.

“I love you, junior, to the edge and back again.”

And then he was gone. You never got the chance to say it back.

Yours was the last name he uttered before his heart stopped beating and the light on his suit went out. By then Pepper had already said her goodbyes and you both were huddled close to his body, weeping as the other Avengers knelt around you in honor of your father. Peter was hunched behind you, one hand on your shoulder while the other worked to wipe away his own tears. Oh Peter, you had your father to thank for him.

It was Tony who was credited with setting you up with your long term boyfriend, Peter Parker, even if it was a complete accident. You two had gotten acquainted on a fateful plane ride to Germany and eventually ended up together after many failed attempts at confessing your feelings. There was something about him that had you smitten with him from your first encounter, your liking only strengthened when you learned that your father approved. He’d been with you through thick and thin and even now, Peter was the only person who could even remotely share your pain besides Pepper. Tony was like his father too.

He’d taken care of you ever since the incident. Brought you food and water, helped you dress in your black attire for the funeral, laid with you in your bed each night to calm you whenever you awoke in a nightmarish terror. He showed his love for you prevailing over his grief in the most selfless of ways and yet all you had managed to do since you father’s funeral was stand to use the restroom every once in a while. It piled on more weight that your poor soul could already take. You were nothing, but a miserable burden now.

The door to your room opened with squealing hinges as Peter stepped in, returning from school where he had spent the morning reuniting with your shared friends and finding out when the official return date was. You were supposed to join him, but instead you hadn’t moved an inch since he left. It wasn’t as if you wanted to waste the entire day in your lonely sheets again. You yearned for everything to go back to how it was; when Peter was happy and you could share it with him. When your father used to smile upon the two teens he didn’t mean to bring together. When your father was alive.

“Hey,” he said, softly as if not to startle you from your endless torturous pondering. He set something down on your dresser, a small stack of papers he must have gathered from the school, and removed his fall coat before sauntering over to you. The bed creaked and shifted under his weight as he took a seat next to you. “Good news, we don’t have to go back until the next semester so we get a break until January. Ned was asking about you. He wants to know how you’re doing.”

You turned your head to look at him, your eyes red-rimmed from all of your crying and your lips cracked and dry.

“What did you tell him?” you croaked, your voice hoarse from under use. There was little to talk about and no one else to talk to whenever Peter wasn’t around. Pepper had visited you once, but with Morgan to look after, she couldn’t spare much time for her late husband’s grieving daughter. You’d seen Happy a couple times as well, but he needed his own time to recover and reflect on his past time with his best friend.

Peter was gentle as he tucked some of the hair strands snot cemented to your jaw behind your ear and cupped your cheek in his palm. He was cold from the autumn chill outside, but his hand ignited the same soothing heat that his touch always brought forth.

“I said you were recovering,” he answered truthfully. “And that it’s different for everyone. And no matter how long it takes, I’m here for you every step of the way.”

The ghost of a smile graced your lips and had it not felt like it stopped beating after losing your father, your heart may have fluttered in its cavity in your chest.

“Thanks Peter,” you curled closer to him in the most sincere of ways. “But I’m afraid it’s going to be a while before I can get up to see Ned again. Give him my best.”

“Take your time. I’m sure he understands.” Peter assured before pulling off his flannel and laying down beside you to wrap you in his arms, allowing you to tuck your face in his chest. As unhappy as you were, all the swirling emotions of suffering were always suppressed by the sound of Peter’s heart and the feel of his body around yours. You stayed like that for a while, holding each other before Peter broke the silence as it neared time for your midday meal.

“I think you should come with me today,” Peter suggested, rising to run his daily lunch retrieval before running a loving hand through your hair. You couldn’t understand how he hadn’t gotten sick of you yet. You hadn’t been able to wash in over a week. “It’s not good for you to stay here all day long. You need to start moving.”

His voice was full of worry, though he wasn’t overbearing. He wanted the best for you, it’s all he ever wanted really.

“I don’t know Peter, I don’t think I can.” you sighed as tears started to fill your eyes again. How could anyone stand to be around you when you were being so pathetic. You wished there was a way to erase your pain, anything to bring you to your normal self again.

“It's okay baby,” Peter hugged you into a tight embrace, kissing your tears as they fell in slow salty streams. “I know it hurts, I feel it too. But I read somewhere that the best thing to do is keep a consistent routine. Maybe you should start today. Come get lunch with me.”

You wanted to agree, but there was no part of you that could move from the weight of your grief. It pressed you down, gravity multiplied by the mass of your sadness as it consumed you. It felt as if only a miracle could save you now.

“I’m so sorry.” you stated with remorse, but Peter made no move to share his disappointment if he had any at all. Instead he leaned down from his seated position and placed his lips on your forehead, a gesture as if to say that all was alright.

“Please don’t cry, y/n. It’s okay.” he assured you before standing to leave and get you something that you figured you probably wouldn’t even eat very much of.

“I’ll be right back,” he promised, turning the handle of your door to leave before looking back at you sprawled on your bed. Suddenly, as if he had recalled the cure to the rainiest of days, he expression shifted to one of great excitement as he stopped back into your room.

“I almost forgot,” he began. “Doctor Strange was here earlier. He wanted me to tell you he’s offering some meditation sessions for you if you’re interested. He said they’d be good for your powers and that they might help you feel better if you want to think about it. He’s free at 8 tomorrow.”

You nearly perked up at the sound of the man’s name, picking up your head to cast a last longing glance at Peter as he waited for a parting word.

“Thanks,” you managed. “I’ll let you know.”

And off Peter went to get you both something to eat.

You weren’t sure if he knew how dangerous it was for you to be left with your thoughts, how the mention of the magic doctor sprouted a myriad of mystical ideas all aimed at the same goal that would erase your eternal lonesome aching. How to bring your father back. By the time Peter returned with his hands full of two homemade sandwiches and more sweets than the two of you could ever finish in one sitting, your mind had been made up and you were ready to set the plan in motion.

The following evening was your first time out of the confines of your rooms for days. Peter had helped you greatly with all the tasks you did not have the mental power to do all on your own. He had brushed your hair and made your bed and before you left in one of the less expensive cars held on Avenger’s campus, he sent you off adorned with one of his favorite sweatshirts, a peck on the forehead and enough I love you’s to last more than a lifetime.

You pulled the sleeve of Peter’s sweatshirt over your palm as you drove off, using the cloth to wipe away fresh tears that had fallen after you left your boyfriend’s loving gaze. You’d always been an overthinker, but your bad habits crept up on you worse in your unbreakable stage of sadness. Especially in your father’s favorite car.

You didn’t understand why he hadn’t left you already. Maybe he would. Peter had offered to join you at Strange’s, but after you insisted you had to go alone, he made plans to go help his Aunt May figure out their apartment situation as the pair had been inadvertently kicked out after being gone for so many years. You’d almost forgotten he used to split his nights between the compound and his own bedroom. Recently he’d only stay with you.

He promised to be back before dinner so that the two of you could keep up your progress, but an unsolicited voice within you convinced you that he wouldn’t want to return. You weren’t good enough for him anymore, not like you used to be. Your plan was better for the both of you and as you pulled up to the familiar building on Bleecker Street, all the pieces started to fall into place.

You stepped up to the door, raising your fist to knock only for the door to crack open by itself as if to invite you in. You waited for the familiar sternness of Doctor Strange’s voice to greet you once you were past the stone floored foyer, but only wisps of the autumn breeze caught your ear. 

“Strange?” you called, your voice still not stable enough to be louder than a whispery dialogue. You were met with no response. It was just like you had planned. The wizard wasn’t home.

You felt a strong tug towards the room of your desires, the forbidden library. It was as if fate was leading you or some other force from above, another sign that you were meant to do it.

Your steps were more sure than they had been in days as you made your way to the self, passing any magical fire walls with the sheer unfiltered strength of your powers. Strange once told you that they were guided by your emotion, the quintessential essence of every magic holder even to people like you and Wanda Maximoff who were outside of his world protecting wizard cult. It was easier than it should have been, like slicing paper with a katana, you broke each enchantment until all that was left was the cool leather cover of the book you were looking for. The book with every answer you needed inside its ancient yellowing pages, but you only needed the spell that would revive your father. Locating it near the middle of the book, your tore out the page and turned back to your car, leaving the Sanctum with the same unhurried pace you had entered it with. There was no stopping you now.

Peter was only an half an hour late for your agreed meet up time when he arrived at the campus. He expected you’d be in your room as per usual and as he made his way to your door, the excitement of getting to hold you and talk about your first day out of the campus since the funeral built up in his chest. He wasn’t sure if any accomplishment in the world could make him as proud as he was of you. With two brown paper bags of groceries in his hand, he couldn’t wait to shower you in the affection that you deserved with all of your favorite snacks, enough to share of course.

“Y/n,” he smiled, using his webbing to open your door handle only to find, much to his disappointment, that you were nowhere to be found.

He checked all over campus, leaving the bags by your bed. No one had seen you since you’d left and the spot where the car you’d taken was still empty, the normally pristine concrete covered in fallen crisp maroon leaves. It didn’t make any sense. Where could you possibly have gone?

“Y/n!” he called, circling the perimeter of the campus looking for you. There was still no sign of your reappearance. “Y/n- oh. Hi Ms. Maximoff.” Peter forced a strained smile as he nearly bumped into the woman.

“Peter, we’ve been over this,” Wanda answered, her voice calm. “You can call me Wanda.”

Like you, the witch hadn’t been doing the best in recent days as she had lost something just as valuable as a father: her partner. While she occasionally had days where the ground would’ve been lucky to feel the grace of her step, her superhero duties had kept her from spending each day hidden from society. She had a different way of coping, but like others, she seemed to start getting back into routine again.

“Right, sorry Wanda.” Peter apologized.

“What are you doing out here?” inquired the witch in her native Sokovian accent, always intuitive. “Is something wrong?”

“It’s y/n. I can’t find her anywhere and we agreed to meet back here nearly - an hour ago!” Peter pulled up his coat sleeve to check the time on his watch, the face of which bore a picture of him and your father from only a few months before the snap. It had been a birthday gift, one of his favorites in fact, though it couldn't top what you had given him the same year: a lego set and your first kiss.

“I didn’t know that she got out of bed. That’s a big step!” 

“Yes it is and we were going to celebrate tonight, but she hasn’t come back yet which is really not like her.” worried Peter.

“Where did she go?”

“Strange’s. He was going to give her a meditation lesson for her powers.”

Confused, Wanda's eyebrow furrowed and she crossed her arms over her chest. “Doesn’t she know how to use them already?”

“Yes, but he thought it would help her manage her grief. Working out is a pretty common method, but she hates going to the gym so he figured some meditation would be better for her and -“

“Wait, hold on. Did she go to him this morning?”

“Yes and she was supposed to be back around noon, but it’s nearly six and she’s still gone.” Peter explained.

“Peter!” Wanda chided. She couldn't believe he could make such a grave mistake.

“What?”

“Strange hasn’t been at the Sanctum all day!”

“What?! Where is he?”

“Do I look like a wizard to you?" the witch gestured to her casual leggings and cardigan pairing that drastically differed from Strange's usual eccentric costumes. "How should I know?”

As if summoned by the topic of conversation, a figure appeared in the distant grass, hovering over the blades until he was close enough to be able to walk. His cape that flowed in the breeze like a blood red stream with a mind of its own was a dead give away. Doctor Strange had indeed arrived in the flesh.

“Parker,” he greeted, though he did not smile. “Is Ms. Stark ready for our lesson?”

Peter’s eyes went wide as he realized his mistake.

“Oh no.” he muttered, shaking his head in defeat. He was met with confusion from the wizard.

“No?” Strange repeated. “We agreed upon 8 didn't we? I know I'm a little early, but I assumed she wouldn't be busy. Didn’t you let her know I was coming?”

“Yes,” Peter confirmed. “I told her to be ready and then I sent her off to your place at 8… am.”

“What?!” Strange exclaimed as he summoned a portal to appear leading directly to his found home on Bleecker Street. He stepped through the fiery ring, a silent invitation for the others to follow as he hurried passed your car, up the steps, and into the door which did not part of him the same way it had earlier. Inside he was met with the most frightful of discovers accompanied by the looming feeling of doom as the situation became clear.

The Sanctum, unguarded with his absence, lay littered with books that had fallen from their homes on his shelf’s yet one stood out from all the others. It laid on the floor open with its pages to the ground while every other book was shut. Levitating it with the simple flick of his wrist, a horrifying sight awaited Strange as he turned it over. One of the pages in the sacred book was missing.

“Do you know how serious this is?!” Strange exclaimed and although Peter at first took it as a barbed criticism aimed directly at him, he was able to distinguish Strange’s tone from when he was reprimanding. This was a separate kind of worry, the sort of tone that he had used heavily on the fated spaceship you three had been stuck in until you landed on Titan, Thanos’ home world, nearly five years ago. Treachery was afoot and if your powers were involved, the whole fabric of your current reality could change.

“Which one did she take?” Wanda pointed to the book, clearly noticing the giant tear in its center.

Strange’s voice answered, heavy with concern. “The revival spell.”

“You don’t think she knows, do you? She can’t possibly know how to conjure it.” asked Wanda, the same concern for their future written all over her face.

“That’s exactly what I think.” Strange confirmed.

“What?” Peter asked. “What are you guys talking about?”

“There are many types of magic, Parker, and the Sanctum, the building where you sent your girlfriend, is full of all of them, good and bad alike. Every spell comes with a price, the bigger the spell, the bigger the price and the spell she took comes with one of the biggest prices there is to pay.”

“Think about it, Peter,” Wanda paled. “What does y/n want most in the world right now?”

It hit Peter harder than fresh fallen hail. You were going to try to bring your father back.

“We have to find her. Now.”

Strange tried to use his sling ring to appear wherever you were, but in your grief, the extent of your powers had grown massively. Intentionally or not, you managed to prevent even the most powerful of wizards from using his Sling Ring to access your location.

“She's blocked me out.” Strange frowned. “We’re going to have to track her on foot.”

“She can’t be far,” Peter agreed. “She always takes the shortest path whenever she wants something.” It was one of the many things he loved about you: your ability to turn any taxing task into something much simpler. You were one of the cleverest people he knew. He just hoped it didn’t work in your favor this time.

It was Wanda who had the idea of tracking your magic. She led them to the nearest withering woodland area, where trees with bare branches and dying leaves sprawled endlessly. It was the perfect place to perform dark magic, away from the unyielding eyes of society. The trio didn’t hesitate to run in.

The further they got, the closer you felt especially to Peter despite the fact that he was the only one without his own source of magic. If he lost you tonight, he feared he’d never feel any sort of magic ever again.

They were only half an acre in when Wanda and Strange called out in anguish, the witch falling to her knees while Strange stayed standing, pounding the air with his fist as his trying to break through an invisible barrier though it was to no avail. Whatever was holding him back, it wasn’t fading anytime soon.

“Keep going, Parker!” he shouted, urging Peter forward. “You’re the only one who can stop her. The spell will only allow that which she loves.”

“How do I do it?” Peter shouted. “How do I stop the spell?”

“The page,” Wanda replied, quicker than Strange could as his reply was easy for her to access. “You have to tear it apart.”

Without wasting a second more, Peter sprung back towards where he could feel you, running without fatigue as his superhuman endurance supplied him with plenty of energy.

It was only a minute later that he caught his first sign of you. There was a break in the tree line out of which a bright amber glow poured like an incandescent warning. It was a dramatic contrast from the normal comforting emerald greens of your magic, but it was you nonetheless and Peter didn’t stop until he was so close he had to shade his eyes from the light.

If it weren’t for the dark nature of what you were doing, Peter would’ve considered it one of the most beautiful events he’d ever seen take place. He wasn’t sure if the circle of trees that surrounded you had been a natural formation or one you made for the sake of the spell, but he was sure the way they seemed to bend to your will, despite the hard wood of their birch trunks, had to be because of your power. In the center of it all was you and the page you had stolen atop a pile of purple and golden leaves. You stood before it, eyes closed as you whispered some sort of incantation. Your powers spread above you in orange flickering flames as you outstretched your arms and summoned what looked like the beginnings of a portal, though it was hard to peer through like a bride covered in a veil of night black.

Peter shouted your name, screaming for you to stop, but you didn’t so much as flinch as the portal grew. You couldn’t hear him over the force of your will. He could start to feel what Wanda and Strange were trapped behind. There was some sort of invisible wall that threatened to push him back from you, but he couldn’t be defeated. He had to stop you. Step by step, he got closer and closer to you, watching in horror as your body was lifted from the ground and floated in midair. A new energy started weeping through the fabric that covered your chest, soft and white like a sheer glittering fabric. It drifted towards the portal and as Peter neared you he could make out the outline of a face forming from it in the black center of it. It started to take shape, growing a neck and a body and becoming more concrete than a fragmented part of your energy. He became more unmistakable as the color grew back into his face. Tony Stark, in the flesh. Peter hurried towards the page.

You opened your eyes to gaze into the face of your father, tears flowing down your face partially from the exhaustion of bringing him back and from being able to see him again.

You tried to say something, tell him how much you had missed him, but you were left rendered without a voice. Your words came out as mouthed nonsense, though it seemed he had regained his voice.

“Y/n,” he uttered, though it seemed more like a warning than a greeting after being torn from you for so long.

You mouthed something you knew he’d understand. I love you too, dad.

Some other force called your name, but you ignored it. You couldn’t focus on anything else, but the father you had lost regaining life right in front of you. With every part that he gained, you felt a part of your fade. It wasn’t painful, more numbing than anything like the final dose to end all your sadness. You couldn’t help but relish in it. You were bringing back one of the greatest men to ever live.

You were so distracted, you missed the web that landed on the page below you and pulled it away.

“Y/n,” your dad said again, nearly having enough of one of his legs to step out of the portal when suddenly, the inky blackness swallowed him whole again and dissolved in the forest light, taking back the only thing you ever wanted.

“NO!” you cried as your voice returned to you and you fell back down to the dry grass and dead leaves, crumpled on the forest floor as all of the magic you had summoned faded away save for the glittering cloud that returned to your chest with such force it made you cough. You had failed.

“Y/n!” someone called and you shuddered away from their hand on your shoulder as loud sobs erupted from you. 

“Leave me!” you begged. “Just leave!” Peter refused to leave your side, tossing behind him the page he had shredded into tiny scraps of paper as he knelt beside you, careful not to touch you again. “Why did you have to do that? Why did you take him from me?”

“You were going to die! I couldn’t let you di-“

“I WANTED TO DIE!”

Peter froze as you whimpered, the truth spreading above the both of you in the cold air like storm clouds as you cried to him.

“I want him back. Everyone wants him back. No one cares about his depressed daughter and I don’t want to hurt anymore, Peter.” you paused to take a deep breath. “It- it hurts so much.” you could barely get the words out as you were choked by your sobs. “It hurts knowing I could’ve saved him. It hurts knowing it should’ve been me that snapped those stupid stones. And I don’t want to live with that anymore. I had to try to bring him back for the world. It needs him more than it needs me.”

You brought a hand to your face, wiping away some of your tears, though it was no use as more came pouring out.

“I need you.” uttered Peter, looking into your glossy eyes. The sight of your tears and the echo of your screams couldn’t deter him from you. You can’t be repelled from the ones that you love.

“But you miss him, don’t you,” you argued as hot tears coated your face. “You want him back too.”

Peter nodded in agreement.

“I think about him everyday. Our moments together. Like this one time he saved me from drowning in a lake. Or-“ Peter grinned. “- remember when he caught us making out that one time before we told him we were together. He was so mad.” Peter smiled to himself, looking fondly on the memory until he began again.

“I miss him so much and it makes me so sad that I'll never see him again. But I wouldn’t trade you for him. I wouldn't trade you for anyone. You’re worth more to me than anyone else in the universe.”

Your sobs slowed yet the tears did not cease as they still cascaded down your face.

“It hurts me so much.” you restated.

Peter opened his arms. “May I?” he asked. You nodded and before you knew it, you were engulfed by a warmth unlike any other as Peter hugged you tight enough to make sure you wouldn’t try to leave him again.

“I know you do,” he related. "And I wish I could take it away. I wish I could just bag all your pain and throw it all away. But it doesn't work like that. It's going to hurt. It's going to be painful, so much so that you won't move from bed for days and days. You haven't." 

"But I feel like everyone else has already moved on. Why can't I?" you shivered.

"No one else was as close to him as you. Everyone else lost a friend. You lost a father. There's a big difference. You can't expect yourself to move on from it. That's not healthy. It's just like I said, I'm here for you no matter how long it takes. You have to take your time with it, don’t rush the process." Peter pressed the lightest of kisses to one of your dampened cheeks.

"I just don't know what to do."

"Breathe."

As silly as it sounded in its simplicity you did as he instructed and inhaled deeply, allowing the air to coat your lungs that hadn’t been exposed to so much fresh air in a week. As you exhaled, you let out another sob in his arms, but somehow it felt better than all the others. You were not rid of your pain by any means and sadness still corroded your core, but for the first time in so long, you didn’t feel so hopeless. Peter placed another gentle kiss on your cheek, encouraging you as you took several more slow breaths and quiet cries until you found the strength to speak again.

“Was it like this for you when your parents died?” you wondered aloud as you pulled away from Peter to look into his chocolate brown eyes that you almost forgot you loved so much, yet not so far that he couldn't keep his arms around your frame that was still bearing his sweatshirt. You hadn’t spoken much about them before and while you weren’t sure where the question had arisen from, it felt like the right thing to ask.

“I was so young when they passed, sometimes I feel like they were never mine to begin with,” he admitted. “I took a couple days off school when it happened, but I don’t remember crying all that much. It’s tragic and sometimes it makes me sad that they’re gone, but I’m glad that it does. It’s a reminder that they were there for me in the first place, that I knew them enough to miss them. The grief is proof that I loved them while they were here.”

You were both silent for a moment as you thought about his words in relation to your situation. All your pain was put into perspective. Everything you had been through since he died, all the days you wasted away in bed, it was all the proof that you had loved him so much when he was alive and that you were still carrying the love you had left for him. You missed your father so much you were willing to die to get him back and for a moment, you almost did.

You parted from Peter’s arms to stand though you still grasped onto his hands as you weren’t strong enough to be upright on your own. You closed your eyes again and listened to the sound of the forest, the swaying of the leaves that still clung to their branches, the faint twittering of birds, and the calm of the sky that was oddly cloudless for autumn. The sound of your name falling from your father’s reformed lips was still faint in the air and for a moment you felt as though you were with him again.

You remembered when he taught you how to ride a bike one evening when you were only four. You remembered the day he pulled you from public school and started teaching you at home. You remembered the look of shock on his face when you showed him your powers for the first time and even more, you remember his pride when you completed your first mission with the Avengers (that he'd approved ahead of time to avoid any more Germany -like surprises). He wasn’t there, but at the same time he was everywhere. And you missed him, but at the same time the absence he left in your life felt less empty.

The tears came out in slow smooth streams, flowing down in slow trickles as you finally sat back down. You didn’t say anything and neither did Peter, but you knew he could feel what you felt. He could feel your father too and minutes slipped by as you sat and cried together.

There was a sudden rustling in the distance and soon enough, Doctor Strange and Wanda had arrived at the scene, no longer held back by invisible barriers. They rushed to you bringing flooding guilt through your system as you began to apologize.

“I’m sorry,” you cried. “I’m so sorry.”

Strange opened his mouth to speak, but he had nothing to say. You could tell by his expression that he was disappointed, but there was more to it. He had empathy.

It was Wanda that leaned down to place a friendly hand on your shoulder.

“Let’s get you home.”

The months following were some of the hardest of your life. Every battle you faced was uphill, but you no longer felt like you were fighting alone. You started going out again, first to visit Pepper and your half sister Morgan who lived in their cabin home. Peter joined you of course, but he played with Morgan for the most part while you and Pepper talked. You cried with her, but you laughed a lot too. She shared with you so many of her own memories, times when your father didn't know what to get you for your birthday, when he had managed to mess up cooking dinner in the strangest of ways, and when he’d accidentally burned your favorite stuffed animal in the drying machine all of which Pepper had to remedy. Though she hadn’t raised you, she was the mother you never had and through her stories you learned that your father had been just as good raising Morgan with her as he had been with you.

You hung out with Ned and MJ again shortly after that. While Peter had suggested a brief check-in at a cafe so you could go home quickly to rest, you surprised him with a much more time consuming idea: laser tag. The four of you had the best time targeting each other, you winning more rounds than any of the others. You ended the day with smoothies, talking as you drank and making plans for the next time you would all see each other. MJ made you promise you would text her if you ever needed anything and Ned gave you a whole plate of his Lola’s ensaymadas, your favorite dish of hers.

Finally, though he was locked up in his house and avoiding humanity, you visited Happy. Peter offered to join you like all the other times, but you assured him it would be best if he stayed home, promising you would return later. Happy was in a similar state of dismay to you when you saw him and while he was able to care for himself and continue with his personal routine, you could tell he was hurting.

You didn't say much when you first entered his apartment, but there was comfort within the silence. You sat with him on his sofa and watched whatever mind numbing program he had turned on to distract his thoughts until you had both worked up an appetite for lunch. It was there, in the middle of a random Burger King in Queens over a plate of cheeseburgers that you both broke down. You told him what you had nearly done, trusting him with the sensitive information as he was almost a second father to you. You took your time telling him the story of how you had nearly died to bring back your father.

Happy cried as you did and when you were finished, he told you how much you meant to him. He traded your story for one from your father after he returned from Afghanistan where he had famously been kidnapped.

"You could tell he was shaken," Happy began. "He told me he wasn't scared to die, but he was scared of losing time with you and leaving you alone. Pepper and I had been so busy trying to get him back, he was worried you had been neglected while he was gone. But when he came home and he saw your room clean, your toys put away, and a fridge full of leftovers from meals you prepared yourself, he was so proud. You inspired him to turn his life around. It was after that he told me that he knew you'd be okay if he was taken from us one day."

You both cried after that.

Long after you had finished your food, Happy drove you to the Parker's new apartment with the promise that he would be okay too, eventually. He also admitted that he was starting to develop quite the liking for your faithful boyfriend after hearing all that he had done for you, though he’d skin you alive if you ever told Peter.

It was that night in Peter's new bedroom that you knew you’d be okay. It still hurt to think of your father and you knew you’d never entirely recover and that the pain would never fully leave you, but there was a certain comfort in it now. You knew Peter felt it too as he snuggled half asleep into your side, his arm slung around your body in a protective manner, but also to keep from falling of the twin bed you shared as he let you sleep on the side with the wall. There were still days when you didn’t want to leave your bed, but there were also days when you felt more elated than ever. You could feel your father in those moments the most, like the shine of his smile took form in the light from the sun. You couldn’t see him nor could you speak with him, but you knew he wasn’t really gone. It was love that kept him around. And it was the love you carried for him that would suspend you for lifetimes, through light and dark until the end of time.

“I hope this grief stays with me because its all the unexpressed love” - Andrew Garfield 💙

[mastermindmiko]

Rivals

Pairing: James Potter + reader

word count: 2903 (this was actually supposed to be 1k or less, but ig more for you guys)

Summary: You and James are Quidditch rivals. You're Quidditch captain and he's Quidditch captain, it only makes sense, right? But what if there's maybe something else fueling your hatred?

Warnings: Injuries and kissing. Lmk if there's anything else

I wrote this all in one go, 1:30 am so if there's any mistakes please don't mind them, and lmk.

Hey! if you think this didn't completely suck, feel free to check out my masterlist.

"Hey, Diggory! watch out!" I scream as loudly as I can over the shouts of the crowds, while Amos barely registers my warning before he notices a bludger flying his way. His eyes widen and its only a second before he gets knocked off his broom and down to the ground hurtling at a great speed, with how fast he was going no one was going to be able to catch him.

I hear him thud to the ground and I hear madam Hootch call a time out while I zoom to reach him. I throw my broom to ground and drop to my knees. Amos is moaning on the ground in pain. He's got a hand over his chest, and I can only assume that he has at least a few broken ribs.

Several other players are coming off their brooms to check on the injured player. The rest of my teammates, the Hufflepuff team, come down and fuss over Amos. Madam Promfrey enters the field and shoos everyone from around him. I look around and I notice the person who was the cause of all of this.

"What the hell, Jordan?" I shout and the Gryffindor, who's looking guiltily at Amos while a few of my teammates help lift him up. Jordan opens his mouth to reply, but gets interrupted when someone steps in front of him to reply instead, "Calm down, Y/L/N. That's just the way the game works."

"Shut up, Potter." I say, then turning to madam Hootch, "That's an obvious foul, he's not allowed to do that." madam Hootch doesn't get to say anything before, once again Potter interrupts. I swear to Merlin that boy has no manners. He says, "It's not a foul, that's just the game, and if you don't think you can handle it then just quit."

"Why would I quit when I'm the best damn chaser in this school?"

"You're obviously more of an idiot than I thought you were if you think that you're the best chaser." Potter folds his arms and he looks at me with a smirk, the most annoying one I've ever seen in my whole life, if I might add. I lunge at him, but Amelia holds me back.

Potter only smirks more, and I narrow my eyes at him trying not to scowl. I turn back to whisper something to Smith, my team's beater, "Aim for Potter."

"There will be no aiming for anyone, miss Y/L/N. The match will not be continuing." madam Hootch announces, and my mouth drops at the news and I hear Potter gasp. I ask, "Why not?"

I heard another voice saying the words with me, so I turn to Potter to give him a glare. He only gives me a glare back before we turn to madam Hootch. She sighs, "There are only half the players there are supposed to be in the field. Half of each of you're teams are injured. We'll reschedule the game."

I huff, and madam Hootch puts her wand to her throat to announce the news to the crowds, they all groan in disappointment and start clearing out. I grab my broom from the ground and start marching back into the castle on my way to the hospital wing.

What's left of my team follow me to wing to check up on the rest of the team. Amos has already been put on the bed, and madam Pomfrey is pacing around the room going from one injured Quidditch player to another. I head over to Amos, and ask, "Are you okay?"

"I've been better." He groans, as madam Pomfrey hands him a glass of Skelegro. She tuts as Amos gags on the drink, and she frowns. I cautiously ask, "So, what's the damage?"

"You're not going to be able to play for a month." She says, and I gasp. She continues, "For the past year, every time there's a Hufflepuff and Gryffindor match most of the players end up here with me. Now, I'd expect this behavior from Gryffindors, but you, wouldn't have guessed in a million years."

I feel the guilt starting to fill me. I did push the players to take risks, but I never expected this to go this far. Amos finishes the cup and he nearly gags again before madam Pomfrey shoots him a glare. He says, "Maybe it's time, for the sake of team of course, that you forgive him..."

"No, absolutely not. It's one thing to toy with the team when it comes to Quidditch, but it's another when he manipulates my feelings into doing so." I say, and I head over the other players. I'm checking on Boot's broken leg when I hear the sound of it, the sound of his stupid strutting.

He goes to survey his team and no doubt madam Pomfrey is telling him about the whole not playing for a month thing because I hear his loud gasp from all the way across the hospital wing. I roll my eyes, and Boot gives me a look. I mumble, "Shut up, Boot."

He lifts his arms up, surrendering and then I feel an arm wrap around my shoulder. I already know who it is, having done this three times already. I shove his arms off me and he pouts, "What's wrong, love? We're off the pitch, shouldn't we put our claws away?"

"Leave, Potter." I say, irritated obviously, and Amos opens his curtain from beside his bed so he's able to see the interaction. Corner does the same thing from the other side of Boot's bed, and despite the look I give to both of them, they keep watching. Potter says, "Why would I do that when you're here?"

His friends, Lupin and Black enter the hospital wing and he lifts up a finger to me, signaling that he'll be back before he goes off to them. I fold my arms over my chest, and I see Boot looking at me. I huff, "What?"

"I heard he just asked her out to make Amos jealous." Boot says, and Amos flushes. This morning, Potter asked out Evans in front of the Great Hall. Half of Hogwarts' population were looking at her for the reply while the other half was looking at me for a reaction. I pretended like nothing of interest was happening, but Amelia already had a supportive hand on my leg. She said yes, and they'll be going out tomorrow.

"Why would I care about that piece of information? You should be taking to Amos he's the one who's got his crush going out on a date." I say, avoiding my teammates' eyes. Boot replies, "Yes, but your crush is the one that asked her out."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I reply and I feel like I've had enough. I did know what he was talking about. Last year, the day before we left for summer break, I spilled about my crush on Potter to Amelia and the girl can't keep her mouth shut for two seconds, shouted it back out loud in the Great Hall. I thought that everyone would forget by the time that we went back to school last september, and almost everyone did.

However, only two days before Quidditch season started, Potter himself, asked me out. I couldn't believe it at first, knowing how much he used to babble on about Evans all the time. Then out of the corner of my eye, I notice a few certain people from the Gryffindor table looking at us eagerly, I recognize those few people as the Quidditch team. Of course, I said no, but I couldn't say that I wasn't hurt.

Croner's injury was in his shoulder and since he could eavesdrop on us so easily I'd assume that it's fine by now. I head out of the hospital wing, and back to my dorm for a shower.

~~~

Without Quidditch practice, I realize that I have a lot more time on my hands. It made me realize how much I suck at my regular subjects. I wasn't planning on using them anyway, I wanted to be a professional Quidditch player, so acing charms wasn't really on my agenda. I had a quiz tomorrow and when I finally lost hope of passing, I went to my favorite place, the kitchens.

The elves were always so nice and eager to please. The place was just a few steps away from my common room which meant that I could go whenever I want and not having to worry about getting caught by any Prefects.

I was eating a muffin while doodling some plays that might be beneficial for when we get back to playing. The door opens and Wigby rushes to greet whoever came. To my displeasure, Potter enters. He beams when he sees me, and I groan at his horribly disguised acting, as if he'd want to actually see me without an ulterior motive.

"What you've got there?" he asks, looking down at my paper, and I flip it over quickly, remembering that these are the team's plays. I huff, "None of your business, and what are you doing here anyways, it's after curfew."

"I could ask you the same thing." He says, and I roll my eyes when he hops on the counter beside me. I look away from him, but I can feel his gaze burning the side of my neck. He asks, "What would you recommend? You seem to be here a lot."

"I recommend you getting out." I say, and he chuckles at my reply though I don't get what's funny. Wigby comes to me and asks, "Do you need another muffin miss?"

"Yes Wigby that would be great." I smile and she turns to Potter and he says, "I'll have one of the muffins that she's having."

"Shouldn't you go to bed? You must be tired" I say before I can stop myself, as soon as Wigby leaves. He looks confused, and he scrunches up his face the way he always does when he's confused, it's the look he has all throughout potions. He asks, "Why would I be tired?"

"Because you had a date this morning." I reply like it's obvious and finally look at him. He chuckles and then shakes his head. Wigby hands over the muffins in a plate and he grabs one before saying, "Oh no, I didn't. Lily just wanted me to ask her out to make Diggory jealous."

So Boot was right, he's always the one who has all the gossip. I grab a bite swallow slowly, and then say, "Oh, well, I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"Because you like her, it mustn't feel good to help her get another guy." I explain and I look away from him. He gulps down the rest of the muffin and I wonder how he can eat so fast. He clears his throat, "Lily? No, I don't like her, not anymore. I was just trying to get back in her good graces after last year..."

He trails off and I already know what he's talking about. At the end of fifth year, Potter, Black, Lupin and Snape got into a big fight, and Lily got caught in the crossfire. It's all everyone talked about for days.

I don't say anything because I don't know what to say. There's a silence between us that I can't pinpoint if it's heavy or comfortable. He shuffles beside me, before he asks, "Now that we won't be playing for a while, would you like to go out with me?"

My blood goes cold, and I lose my appetite. I place my half eaten muffin back on the plate and I brush off the crumbs from my hands and jeans. I mumble, "I can't believe this."

"What?" He asks, confused again. I hop off of the kitchen island and I thank Widgby. I make my way to the door. He rushes after me and says, "Where are you going?"

"Away from you." I say, and I shut the door behind me, he catches it before it closes and he follows me. Maybe I can reach the common room before he does anything as audacious. He asks, "Why? I just asked a question-well technically two, but-"

"Why couldn't you just drop this?" I stop in my tracks, and turn to him with a glare. He stops as well and looks at me shocked. I have my finger lifted to his chest accusingly and he asks, "Drop what?"

"Acting as if you like me, when you're just trying to use me for Quidditch." I say, and he looks confused again. Merlin, he is not a good actor. I continue, "It's one thing to use your pranks to sabotage the team, but it's another to try and use my feelings as a means to get to that."

"I'm not-"

I scoff, and I don't let him finish before I storm off again. He jogs after me and attaches a hand to my wrist to stop me from going. He reasons, "I would never use anyone's feelings like that. I actually want to go out with you-"

"Please, and those feelings suddenly appeared for the first time two days before Quidditch season." I say, and he has that look in his eye look all the pieces of the puzzle are coming together. He says, "So that's why you said no- I- I didn't even notice that Quidditch season was starting- well I did, but not in a way that correlates to me asking you out."

"It just took me so long to pluck up the courage to ask you out-"

"So I guess that's why you're whole team was looking at us." I say with anger. He stays calm and explains, "They all knew I liked you, that's why they were looking, they wanted to see how it would go."

"You really think I'm that stupid to believe this." I huff, and shove my arm out of his grip. I started walking away, and I feel relief as I see the common room getting closer and closer. He shouts while still walking faster to get to me, "I really do like you."

"Bullshit!" I shout, before he once again, grabs my wrist to hold me close to him. I only get a second to register what's going on before he pulls me close to his chest and crashes his lips to mine. He cups my face and holds me. My hands stay at my sides while my heart races.

He breaks away when he realizes that I wasn't reciprocating the kiss. He puts his arms down. He sighs then says, "I promise I wouldn't ever use your feelings against you like that. I like you."

He looks sincere. I don't say anything, and I see his cheeks turn a tinge of pink. In a way, he looks sort of defeated and maybe that's what makes me believe him. He stutters, "I'm sorry that I kissed you like that-"

I stand up on tip toes and reach up to wrap my arms around his neck. I cut him off by placing my lips on his. He doesn't waste a second in placing both hands on my waist. He pulls me flush against him, and for a split second I feel like I might faint from how fast my heart is going.

A bright light flashing into my eye, causes me to break away from him. Two prefects are looking at us with shocked expressions. I try to move away from James, but he pulls me closer. I acknowledge that this is how it's going to be like from now on. One of them turns to the other and says, "I told you I heard something."

The other one rolls his eyes and lowers his wand that was blinding me. He sighs, "You two have detention tomorrow, now, go to your common rooms."

Bonus:

I sit at the table for breakfast and already start piling food into my plate, I wasn't ready to fail today's quiz at all, and I definitely wasn't ready for my detention. I start munching on some of my eggs and that's when I see my teammates all looking at me with identical smirks.

I swallow my food and look at them all, weirded out by the fact they were watching me. I ask, "What's made me so interesting all of a sudden?"

"Boot said that he heard that you've got detention tonight." Amelia starts, and everyone's grins widen when I nod my head. Boot himself continued this time, "I heard it's because you were out after curfew snogging Potter."

I flush and pick at my food with a fork. Where does Boot get all this information from. Amos points a finger to my face and teases, "Oh, Look! She's blushing."

I wonder if I can kick Amos off the team right now, I'm sure that I'll find a better seeker somewhere else in Hufflepuff. I scowl at him and blush more. I stutter, "You need to find a new way to get information because that's a complete lie. I wouldn't-"

Luck is always on my side because just at that moment someone slides between me and Amelia, wrapping and arm around my shoulder. Making my friends' grins wider. James presses a kiss to my cheek and says, "Good morning, love."

[kingryblog]

Bears in Trees in Denver notes (year three)

*Nick, George, Callum, and Iain walk past the line down the street*

Iain: Bye guys!! See you later!

Me, and a few others in the line: Bye! See ya!

Iain: Yeah we're not coming back!

Someone in the crowd to someone else: I like your shoelaces

The reply: Thanks I stole them from the president.

Insane to hear that irl in 2024, my brain took a screenshot lmao

While Iain was talking someone started barking from the back of the venue lmao

Someone handed out paper to put over our flashlights when Little Cellist played and the Bears faces when they saw it was so so sweet

I'm always a little nervous bringing my cane to shows but after the show someone came up to me and said how it was so cool that bring it and they've been trying to work up the courage to bring their mobility aide and it made me feel so good. If that was you and you're reading this, thank you for saying that, and bring your aide, it makes shows so much better!!

Made some awesome friends!! Shout out Lillian from the discord who was me and my siblings buddy all night.

My sibling brought their 3DS and recorded some videos and took a bunch of pictures and everyone loved it (if you look closely at the video, you can see the exact moment Callum looks at the 3DS)

I had a pack of earplugs that I bought when I realized I left mine at home and handed out the whole pack out to other who didn't have any. Definitely plan to do that again! Wear ear protection yall!!

Callum: You know what constellation I love looking up to see? *very obviously trying to hint at Cassiopeia*

Iain, dead fucking serious: Orion?

Callum: No.

Iain: Wh- Oh oh, Cassiopeia?

Callum: Ya- No- Yeah. Yes.

Iain, later in the night: I've decided I'm going to derail every bit you try to do

Me and my sibling (best friend) absolutely clutching eachother while Confetti played

Callum was wearing a jersey and someone in the crowd recognized it as a high school team from Illinois

Two (2) guitar strings broke, one during Mothe's set and one during Bear's set

Half the crowd sat on the floor inbetween sets and it was so cool, it felt like hanging out with friends and made me feel less insecure about needing to rest my knee :)

This was my first time super close to the stage (at any show) and oh my gosh when Callum went into the crowd he was Right in front of me it was so cool!!

On that note, Callum was shoeless, only socks, cover the dogs

Got close, but I didn't cry this year... My sibling on the other hand,,, well.

This year was definitely the best year so far, everything about it was so good all the way through.

@bearsintreesofficial

[sylenth-l]

I'm sure someone has asked already but there's no harm in asking this question again, I was wondering how do you plot out your drawings? Like your proportions and stuff? Because I have never been able to get proportions done very easily, the head is always too small for the shoulders, arms aren't the right length, torso is too long/short, ect ect. Do you have any advice to help with this? Thank you :) 💜

Hey! Okay, I'll start with saying that I'm not a qualified art teacher and everything I say are just things I've noticed over the years of drawing myself and thus can only share things that worked for me personally ✌️✨

I use head to measure the height of everything and make the width whatever I feel looks good 😅 The classic art anatomy teaches us that perfect human's height is 8 heads and legs take exactly half of it. I rarely stick to that model tbh, I prefer to draw in an even more stylized way, so I usually make legs a bit longer (making it 8.5 or even 9+ heads total) and head just a biiit bigger.  Still, I started from classics and I believe it's much easier to learn it first, so I drew the 8 heads model for a better demonstration:

I've developed a little checklist of the most important proportions; usually if those conditions are met, the whole figure looks convincing enough to me.

Head + torso is 4 heads;

Elbows and waist are relatively on the same line;

Open palm is the same length as the face (head minus hairline);

Arm length ends a bit higher than half of the hip;

Knees are located at the middle of legs length minus feet.

Okay, it looks really easy for a frontal view of a standing still figure, but what about more complicated poses? My suggestion is to measure the stick figure inside the body (not forgetting about the perspective distortion though). Take the "spine" and the least bent leg to check everything, then make sure both legs are the same length.

Note that these measurements don't need to be exact as if made with a ruler! We aren't doing blueprints here. If you don't trust your eye, then try training it, whenever you have a free minute: just draw a long line and try to divide it into equal parts. Or draw a long line with many short lines of the same length; kinda like a dashline, but with no gaps.

Also, I think it's important to remember that measurements and proportions are cool, useful and make your life a lot easier, but often you may need to bend them for the final drawing to look good. And obviously, people come in many shapes and heights, so I suggest taking these classical measurements as a cheatsheet to draw a good standard stick figure, which you can shape into whatever you want later. The 8 heads canon isn't realistic anyway, it originated in Ancient Egypt and Greece and was used for art needs specifically (mainly sculpture iirc). It represents an idealized view of a human figure already, so no harm in changing it a bit further I think!

 Art doesn't really need to be anatomically correct, it just has to look like it is.

[konaanaria13]

Text me when your Free

So I've been writing this for soooo long so hopefully its okkkk

Tom Riddle x Reader

Friends with benefits type of situation

Chapter one

Warnings: smut, cursing, unprotected sex, underaged sex, kissing, cute guy, not okay for children stuff.

MDNI

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

You busy?

Hello, I'm doing good how

Are you doing?

I'm doing Great thanks

My dorm

15 min.

I scowled a little before closing the notebook and sorting my things away, Tom was always like that sending me messeges out of the blue for sex and dissapearing for a week.

The whole casual sex thing started a year ago, we we're never really friends more competitors if I'm honest.

He was always trying to be better than me but sucks to suck I guess.

I quickly put a hoddie over my shirt before slipping out of my dorm, barefoot I rush toward his dorm the cold of the corridors making me shiver, I knock before entering not waisting time to jump onto his bed.

"It's fucking cold outside" I look at him, Tom is wearing pajama pants, no top his abs on full display while a pencil is stuck behind his ear, a book in his hand's his hair messy and still a little damp from a shower.

He barely looks up finishing his reading then he hums in agreement.

"It's winter" He mutters, I smile a little as I move toward him, climbing into his lap I place my hand's on his waist. I let my fingers run down his V line waiting for him to put the book down.

"Aren't you a genius?" I ask a smile spreading on my lip's when he hides his laugh because I touched a tickelish spot.

"Are you mocking me?" He looks up, takes his pencil and circles something in his book, then he closes the book and puts it on the nightstand his hand landing on my waist.

"Ah mocking would be a strong word I think Hoping to get you to kill yourself much better" I lean down to him, his lip's pull into a small smirk as he leans up, For a second I'm on top trying to kiss him the next he is on top of me his body trapping me undearneath him his knee parting my legs as he shakes his head with a tsk.

A year ago I would be baffled by the simple fact of him smiling.

Tom was well composed, he never smiled to much, never showed more emotion than needed to satesfy the people around him, but over time I got him to actually laugh and even giggle on some occasions, we never really discussed what we we're but we also didn't do much outside of studying and fucking so it was a perfect match.

Plus he was fine as hell.

His lip's met mine and his hand's went under my hoodie, unclipping my bra he lifted me toward him, arching my back I grind into him his hardness turning me on immidiatly.

I part my legs some more letting him lay inbetween them, I help him take my hoodie and shirt off, my clothes landing on the floor.

He kisses down my neck, his teeth digging into my skin, my hand reaches my mouth covering it when he bites the sensible spot on my upper neck, I feel him smile against my neck, his hand's cuping my breast, running his thumb over my hard nipples appling pleasure making me close my eyes and find my breath.

I roll my hips into him, the hickeys on my neck already uncountable, needy for him I grab his hair, pulling him off me I wrap my legs around his waist and turn him on his back, I throw my head back and let out a shaky breath.

"Merlin's beard thank god I learnt that hiding spell" Tom muttered his hand resting on my neck his thumb running over my adams apple.

I laugh a little exited to see his art work.

"Tommy I really need you inside off me" I mutter to which he laughs.

"Needy girl" he whisperes his eyes pulling me into heaven.

"I can feel how hard you are don't make me walk out Cause I will find somebody else you definetly won't" Tom rolls his eyes his hand dropping onto my torso pushing past my skirt he lifts my hips up, I push my hand down on his chest holding myself up as he slip's out of his pants, I let out a shaky breath feeling him push my –very wet– underway to the side, his tip touches my entrance and I look up at him, his eyes meet mine and I wish for a second he would be nice and gentle.

I let out a moan when he pushes me down on him in a fast and strong movement, I cover my mouth not wanting to cry out, everytime I remember how big he actually is, filling me up compleatly I feel butterflies errupt in my stomach as he kisses my shoulder slowly.

I moan again when I sit up straight, pushing my head back I place my hand on his as he helps me move up and down.

"Fuck" I mutter my hands wrapping around his wrist, my breath gets shakier and slower, my stomach is in physical pain, the knot in my stomach moving up to my chest.

I feel myself tight around him, my mind goes blank as he speeds up, I moan again and again, the pain unberable as he lets out a groan which makes me whimper.

"Come here" he whispers and his hand suddenly grab my neck pulling me down to him, his lip's meet mine as he thrust himself into me, body trembeling as he softly parts my lip's with his kiss, I pant into him my body starting to sweat.

"Tom, I'm gonna cum please don't stop" I whisper my hands running through his hair as he kisses me, I whimper as his teeth grab my lip's.

He mumbles something, then swears, then he throws his head back.

My forehead meets his.

I moan again finally finding release, Tom lets out a soft groan and I feel him fill me up.

"Who thought you how to pull out" I mutter dropping on his body.

"Somebody should've thought your dad" He muttered his chin resting on the top of my head.

Ten minutes later I was back in my dorm turning the shower on and staring at the wall.

-K<3

[daydreamgoddess14]

Support System: Alone Time

You and Roy try to find some time alone together...

Can be read as standalone but mentions characters introduced in the Support System series.

SUPER SPICY - ENJOY! 🥵

Roy Kent Masterlist

Full Masterlist

~~~~~~

Living full time with Roy was the kind of wonderful you could have only dreamt of. When Lexie was around, your mornings would be relaxed and fun - he'd return from his session with Jamie, make breakfast with her, and let you get an extra hour in bed. When Lexie wasn't around, he'd wake you with something much better than breakfast. He was careful not to overstep with you in front of Lexie, not wanting her to feel awkward if he kissed you that little bit too deeply. It had meant that the previous habits of (mostly) keeping your hands to yourselves for half a week had stuck with you. Circumstances change, though, and Andy was currently over a week into a two week holiday. Aside from a sleepover with Phoebe and one with her grandmother, Lexie had otherwise spent the whole time with you both, and while it had been lovely to spend a really good amount of time together, you were feeling the frustration. 

"Did Phoebe tell you about the school trip next week?"

"Yeah, Lion King is fucking ace, we saw it last year."

"They're so lucky, I'm sure I never got to go to the theatre on a school trip." You slumped into the sofa next to him and rubbed your eyes, with Christmas approaching you had way too much going on at work. 

"Has Lex got a passport? Have you?"

"Yeah. If you tell me you're booking an all-inclusive beach resort for next summer, then I will definitely make it worth your while."

"I'm just going to lie and say yes that's exactly my plan, but I'm full of shit. It's not." He puts his laptop on the table and moves so you can sit between his legs with your back flush to his chest. You relax against him and focus on feeling his heartbeat thrum right behind yours, all the noise of work disappearing. You close your eyes and let your head fall back onto his shoulder. 

"Shame. Maybe I'll do it next week as a reward for us both getting through work."

"You should, I'll give you my travel agents' info. She'll sort us out." He runs his fingers back and forth over the hem of your shorts. "I've just got her to book something, actually." He says casually. 

"Hmm?" You ask, eyes closed.

"Paris for four nights right before Christmas," he kisses the spot behind your ear that makes your back arch. This time, though, it makes you turn sharply in his lap, your hands landing either side of his hips.

"What?! That's less than a month away!"

"Disney? With Sara and Phoebe. I've already booked her services to have Lex for a day so we can go into the city." The more he speaks, the more into his lap you climb, knees in place of your hands digging into the plush sofa seat, your chest pressed closely to his, nose to nose. 

"Really?" He nods, 

"Just need to send your passport details over. It's booked already," you cut him off with a kiss, arms around his neck. It's been too long (only a few days), so your body can't help but rock down against his. 

"I really fucking love you." You mutter through kisses, "thank you." You feel him smile, his hands running up and down your thighs.

"I love you. But we shouldn't do this here." He tries to stop you from rolling your hips but ends up pinning them in place, feeling the heat of your core against him. You can't help the needy whine that escapes, you push against his hands to try and force more contact but he's obviously far stronger, "nope," he growls. "Not here."

"Better get me to bed then, coach." You trail your hand down between your bodies, giving him the impression that you're about to slip your hand into his shorts and wrap it around him. Instead, you lift the bottom of your vest top and pull it over your head. With his hands still firmly on your hips to hold you in place, he's unable to touch you. You lean forward just enough to kiss him and then climb from his lap completely and disappear with a wink. He follows the path of your clothes all the way to the bedroom. You break the sultry pose you're holding - leaning back on your elbows with your legs crossed demurely - almost as soon as he walks in, falling back to lay flat on the bed in giggles. He's on you in seconds, hooking his arms behind your knees and pulling you towards him.

"You starting something you can't finish?" He leans over you, 

"Oof! I think we'll both finish just fine if you set your mind to it." You tease, pulling his t-shirt off. 

"That's not the worry," he kisses you, "It's you not fucking keeping quiet." His hand slots between you nudges your legs wider open. "What do you think?"

"I can be quiet." You nod, reaching for him.

"We'll see about that." His grin is wicked as he kisses a hot path down your body, roughly palming your breast as he nips at the dip of your waist. "If you make a sound, I'll stop," he warns just before he flicks your clit with his tongue. You draw breath and hold it for what feels like hours as he devours you. He eats you out like he's worshipping you, every touch designed to bring you closer to the edge. You have to bite your own fist to keep quiet, but it's impossible to disguise your laboured breathing. He knows how to read your body and doesn't need you to make a sound to know you're close, your thighs quiver and he gets right to the point where he's certain you're about to come… and stops, moving away from you entirely so he's not tempted to let you finish just so he can keep tasting you. Your mouth drops open in a silent cry of disbelief, and he has the audacity to kiss you, "good girl." He whispers, griping your hips lightly to flip you onto your stomach, but you roll back and pull him close so you can whisper right into his ear, 

"I don't think so, if you're going to make me beg for it, then you can look me in the eye while you do it," his laugh rumbles against you, 

"You're so fucking hot when you're mad. But if that's what you want -" Now it's your turn to laugh, 

"What I want very much, my love," you tell him as you kiss along his jawline, "is for you to fuck me absolutely senseless so that tomorrow, when we're both at work, you'll know that I'm still aching." He rests his forehead against yours, 

"Fucking hell babe, thought I was the one making demands." He sounds wrecked. 

"Hmm. Still going to make me wait?" You smile sweetly, rolling your hips up to meet his. 

"Course I am," he chuckles, his fingers grazing through your folds and pushing into your soaked pussy. "If you're so sure you can stay quiet, prove it," he challenges. Your breathing is already ragged. You both know it never takes long for him to make you come at the best of times, and he's already had you so close to the edge once. He knows your body probably better than you do, which is why he knows exactly when to stop again. He kisses away your frustration once more and lets you catch your breath. He brings his fingers to your mouth and while you suck them clean, your thighs are drawn together like magnets, desperately trying to put some pressure on your clit. He shakes his head and moves to open you up and rest his whole body between your legs, 

"Please, Roy. Please -" you beg, your voice low and husky. 

"Nearly love, one more for me." He pins your wrists above your head and brings himself level with your chest, swirling his tongue around your nipple. Your hips rut up against his stomach, he can feel how wet you are, how much you need him, and it only makes him harder. "You like that? Think I could make you come like this?" He sucks at the soft, sensitive underside of your breasts, leaving his mark on you and dragging you so close to orgasm again. There's no doubt he could make you come just from this alone, he's done it before on nights where you'd spent hours mapping each other's bodies and marveling at the effect you had on each other. 

"No, please no," you plead as he denies you again, "I need you to touch me, Roy."

"Tell me what you want, babe," he whispers, moving above you held up on his elbows. 

"Fuck Roy, I need you inside me," you're quiet, but you really don't think you'll be able to stay that way, your body is vibrating with anticipation. He looks at you with such intense love, you must look a mess underneath him - your hair tangled in bedsheets, your lips red and swollen from where you've been biting them in an effort to keep quiet, and your eyes glazed with a heady combination of lust and love. 

"You're so fucking beautiful." His hand moves to slide up your thigh to encourage you to hook it around him, opening you up further to him. He lines up against your entrance, taking his time to push into you until he's fully seated. You're nose to nose as he thrusts slowly, building you up until you fingertips are digging into his shoulders, urging him not to stop. He kisses you as you clench around him and your orgasm shatters. Making you come undone after so long is enough to send Roy over the edge right behind you. He clutches at you, barely able to keep quiet himself as he spills into you. He collapses onto you, both of you boneless and panting. You run your hands through his hair gently, not ready to lose the warmth of his body. 

"Told you I could be quiet." You murmur sleepily, "Didn't expect you to fucking torture me though," you add, poking him in the ribs and making him squirm. 

"Maybe, but you loved it," he teased.

"Hmm. I love everything you do to me," you sigh happily.

FIN

[projectbluearcadia]

(My | Bad) Memories Are Forever

[Trigger Warning - Suicide implied, self-hatred, toxic relationship;

It does end, and it does get better. People care about you.

Reader Discretion Advised]

Annelie sits, listlessly staring out at the Devildom from atop a cliff, her arms hugged over her knees. She closes her eyes with a slow, weary sigh.

I think that's the worst it's ever gotten. I ran and ran, but I don't feel the ache in my legs. And yet it feels like someone used me like a punching bag for hours and hours... I guess I should be glad I don't really have the energy to think.

???: So you were here, huh?

Annelie flinches a little as someone sinks next to her.

No... I don't want to be around you. Not you, of all people. You're the worst person I could possibly see right now.

Annelie: ...

???: They're looking for you down there, y'know. That prince guy was telling people to capture you at any cost. Oh, and then there was a fight with his entourage or whatever they are, those guys you live with.

Capture? Fought? Oh... I can guess what happened. Diavolo found out about how many people I killed, so I'm a wanted criminal, I guess. In addition to everything else.

Annelie: ...

???: Think I passed your stupid husband too, actually.

Call him stupid again, and I might strangle you. You don't know a single thing about him.

Annelie: Elizabeth, I'd really appreciate it if you left me by myself right now... you must have seen what I did without really trying.

Lizzy: Y'know, nothing good ever happens with being by yourself. Believe me, I know.

Annelie: Unlike you, I don't need constant supervision. I'm getting my wits together and figuring out my next steps. Now bugger off.

Lizzy: God, does seven years mean nothing to you? I've been getting yelled at left and right by people I don't even fucking know because you apparently badmouth me to every single person you talk to! As if that's not enough, when I try to talk to you, you just throw me away like everyone else in my life!

Annelie: SEVEN YEARS MEANS EVERYTHING!

Lizzy flinches.

Annelie: I was there for you, I tried so hard to be there for you for seven years, particularly when it was really getting tough for you, and it gave me nothing but heartache, frustration, and emotional deficits! The only thing you've ever given me is the warning signs that I'm dealing with someone like you. I may have forgiven you, because you were younger, and I was younger too, but I have never forgotten.

Lizzy: But you didn't try! You always said you were busy whenever I called your house. You couldn't even talk to me for 20 minutes a day or a few hours a week! We didn't even see each other after middle school, but you never gave me the fucking time of day!

Annelie falls silent, and she looks out at the horizon.

She's right. I didn't try. If I had, then maybe... wouldn't my life have turned out happier? That I wouldn't just... self destruct? Ruin my own life and my husband's?

Lizzy: I stayed with friends I made after you through thick and thin, but I guess you just can't handle that. You're too busy caring about yourself.

How? How could you stick with them, when you were in horrible shape? Am I that pathetic that I can't even do that much?

Lizzy stands back up.

Lizzy: I hope to God that everyone else sees you for what you are after this whole manhunt is done. See you never.

Annelie sits in silence, and she buries her head into her knees. She softly laughs, her voice breaking as more tears slip free of her eyes.

So... Lucifer's going to be angry beyond belief with me, probably to the point of hating me, Diavolo probably feels like I betrayed him and the Devildom for real this time, and everyone else probably thinks the only place for me is in prison or dead. Imprisoned for eternity if I'm lucky.

Lucifer shouldn't have to deal with me.

Annelie: Haha... it's so laughable. This whole stupid thing. How did I even get here?

(I can't make it stop.)

I̴ ̷w̶a̵s̷ ̴n̶e̵v̵e̸r̵ ̷i̵n̶t̴e̸n̵d̴e̶d̷ ̶t̴o̸ ̶a̸t̸t̶a̵i̴n̶ ̴"̷h��a̴p̵p̷i̸n̸e̴s̸s̷"̵,̴ ̷w̴a̵s̵ ̴I̴?̵

(I don't know how to make it stop.)

Ȉ̷̗f̵̘͝ ̵̱̐l̸͓̈́o̶̭͌s̸̤̕ĭ̷͔n̸̳̿g̷̰͂ ̶͕͋ì̷̫t̵̺͊ ̷͍͗i̵͎̿s̷̲͊ ̵̪͘i̶͚̓n̶̤̊e̵̞̎v̵̦̔i̶̻͠t̷͕̾ả̷ͅb̸̯͋l̶̹͐e̴̹͘,̵̤͑ ̴̼͌ṯ̵̇h̶̛̩e̸̠͛n̸̥̈.̴̣̿.̶̋ͅ.̶̘̆

(I'm so tired of fighting, so...)

.̴̢̮͖̼͂̿͝.̷͕͍͚̩̖̾.̶̡̛͍̝͍̕w̶̧̙̾̑́̅o̸̖͝u̶̱̭͒͐l̴͉̰̟̺̺͆d̷̻̂̍̆͝͠n̷̨͖̒̈̽'̶̦̠͑̾̈́̄͠ͅẗ̸͙̥̯̞̳͊ ̴͙̺͈̝̏̏̍̓̅ḯ̶̦̠̿̈̅̈t̴̨̢̢̿̾̍̅͒ ̸̭̓b̷̰͍̻͆̍͘͜e̵̞̭̝̥̓̐ ̷͉̹̯̇̈́b̸͇̗̺͙͑͌̕ͅȩ̵̨͚̲̾̽͌̎̆ͅt̴̜͛̓t̷̢̳̳̔̊͝͝e̸̬̳̳̯̔̊͑͒ṙ̴̞̖͕́̓̏͂ ̸̖̬̟̀̍̈͠ţ̵̛̥͕̓̌̽͗͜ö̵̤̩̖̗͚́͊̈́ ̴̤̝̬̪̃̽̂͂͜ě̶͈͈̞̑n̴̳̞̿d̴̫͉̩̟͋̍ ̷̛̛̪̠̑i̷̡̪͈͖̍̒̀͒͝ţ̴̱͍̤̀ ̵̛͎̪̒̎̅͜ͅá̷̤̯͋̂̀̈́ḽ̸͇͉̳̠͌̓̅l̵̳̫͒̊̒̓͘ ̸͓͙͋̄̆ḧ̷̭͕̉͐͝e̴̹͚͔̒̀̇̿ȓ̷͚̆̏e̷͙̐̏̽̕?̸̺̣̭͍͆͂̋͐

[ The day following Annelie's flight ]

Lucifer sits hunched over, his eyes blankly staring at a badly crinkled piece of paper, the ink outlining water stains that his fingers trace over.

Mammon: What... What's it say?

Lucifer: ...

Mammon takes the paper, and Lucifer doesn't bother to stop him, his hands covering his face. Mammon covers his mouth, and he quickly wipes at his eyes with his sleeve; the tears won't stop coming however, and as the letter is passed around, one by one, each of the brothers bursts into tears and a growing cacophony of sobbing.

Mammon: H-Hey, this got here, not too long ago, right? Maybe she-

Lucifer: Please... just don't talk. Please don't say anything.

Lucifer's voice breaks.

Lucifer: Of all... the things she could have made me deal with... this is the worst possible outcome.

Lucifer's hands shake.

Lucifer: Why...? How have I failed her...?

Asmo: Hey, hey, you didn't fail her at all.

Mammon: That's right! Anyone could see she was head-over-heels for ya!

Belphie: Sh-She was an idiot anyway. Y-You don't have to... miss someone like that.

Satan: She really was a fucking idiot.

Satan gasps and sobs.

Levi: D-Don't say 'was' like that...

Beel: ...how could she? To everyone?

Lucifer sits in silence, pressing his fingers to the corners of his shining eyes. He finally stands up and starts heading outside the House of Lamentation.

Lucifer: ...No, don't follow me. I... need to be alone for a while...