#I'm too sick for this man
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Ughhhh my heart. Stupid Tumblr blog giving me feelings and thoughts. How dare you *aggressively hearts*
I'll Be Seeing You by Billie Holiday. Good taste in music pep! Oh yeah we kind of saw some of your memories there. seems that tune might be connected to some of those odd memories. know anything else about the song or the lyrics?
Does the year 1938 mean anything to you?
Pep: "Esnes sekam taht fi... Ti nwonk? Adnik syawla ev'I... Gnos eht draeh I erehw erus ton ma I..."
Pep: "Yltcaxe si raey a tahw wonk yllaer neve t'nod I... Rehtie em ot gnihtyna naem t'nseod raey taht."
Pep: "Esuaceb tsuj ro gnikooc m'I nehw yllausu... Gnignis yojne od I tub!"
Pep: "Ekil gnihtemos tnew etiruovaf rieht kniht I; Gnos a tuohtiw peels t'ndluow emos. Oot ti deyojne seno elttil eht!"
"Rest your head Sleep soundly, my dear There's nothing to fear Your Mama is here~ You're safe and warm Here in my arms There's no need for alarm Just listen to this lullaby's charm~ Now close your eyes And turn out the light I will be here with you As you sleep through the night~ As you sleep through the night~"
Pep: "Gnos eht... Ho!"
Pep: "..."
#Peppino ask blog#fake peppino#Ask-the-totally-real-pepino#I'm too sick for this man#My heart#Pepi needs all the hugs I swear
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Erik, what are you doing?
X-MEN: DAYS OF THE FUTURE PAST (2014)
#together :(#mine*#cherik#gifset#x-men#xmenedit#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#otp: i want you by my side#filmedit#what makes me so insane about prequel!erik is how he NEVER hesitates in anything ever. because he KNOWS#hesitation can and WILL get you killed. and YET everytime it comes to charles he hesitates. there's always a shadow of doubt when#it comes to turning his back on charles. in cuba after charles sent him away he stared at him a second too long#he knew he had to leave (and he did eventually) but he hesitated to do so#and in this scene you can literally SEE HIM psych himself up to turn his back on raven and charles#no YOU DON'T GET IT he always hesitates when it's about charles. charles has been haunting him FOR YEARS YOU DON'T GET IT#also the way charles' eyes shine when he tells raven he and erik are together I'M SICK they really were his entire heart!!!#they both make me so sad man
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heavily based on the puss in boots movie but sukuna x death!reader..
a bounty hunter, who has set their eyes on the infamous sukuna,, known for his bloody blade and his feracious smile, he doesn't even bat an eye when you show him the wanted poster. he makes a joke about it, he laughs in your face.
but he does enjoy the fight and he is amused by this ridiculous act of yours, so he decides to draw his sword just to humor himself on this late night.
"try me if you dare, you wouldn't be the first to— "
like a gust of wind, like a slap in the face – you swat the blade from his hand without even looking at him properly and his breath gets stuck in his throat.
the steel clatters against the cold floor, it glimmers under the dim lights of the tavern. sukuna doesn't get scared. he doesn't.
the corners of your lips quirk up and the room goes cold. a mean laugh ripples from your throat and his stomach churns.
"go on, pick it up."
he swallows the lump in his throat.
the few steps count as a walk of shame inside his head. he won't let you get away with toying with him like this. adrenaline pumps in his veins as he bends to pick up his weapon and the moment his calloused fingers wrap around the handle, he's swinging it at your back with a low growl.
the sound two swords make when they clash against one another is nothing new to sukuna, so it really shouldn't be as big of a surprise when you deflect his blow.
when you deflect it with ease, with a smirk on your face.
sukuna's eye twitches.
a second swing and then a third. you're unfazed.
"sloppy."
he clicks his tongue and forces down the raw anger bubbling up his gullet.
a fourth and a fifth. a sixth. sparks from the blades glimmer in your dark eyes as you blatantly laugh in his face, seemingly so far from his reach that sukuna trips over his own thoughts – he reacts half a second too late and pays the price for it immediately; the cold steel rests against his adam's apple, your breath fanning his face as you tug him closer by the collar of his shirt. stuck between the counter and the end, he glares at you. he snarls, he bares his teeth.
a drop of crimson runs down the side of his neck as you brush your cold nose against his cheek. too close, you're too fucking close. the quiet, honeyed hum you give him gnaws on his insides, it tears into them like a hungry dog. your lips ghost over his pulse point and he feels you smile.
you inhale and a shiver runs up his spine.
"this is always the best part... when the fear finally starts to bleed, when you can taste it. smell it." his free hand curls into the material of your cloak but he's unable to do anything. he can't push and he can't pull, a deer stuck in a trap.
you slot a thigh between his thighs and press your blade deeper into him. "isn't it exciting to be so close to me, hm?"
warm blood trickles over your fingers. the tall man before you shrinks under your presence, under the weight of your makeshift scythe. he holds onto you like his life depends on it and withers at your next words.
"i'll take good care of you, i promise."
#i absolutely looove the movie i thought it was great#i saw it when it first came out and i have yet to stop thinking abt that wolf man he's so sick#has a scary fucking theme song too i'm fucking obsessed#he's terrrrifying btw#i love it#and idk i think sukuna would make for a good puss in boots lmao#anyway this is just a silly concept that popped into my head i think it's really fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!#it is just wordvomit though so idk how it'll actually read lmao#sukuna#mickey is daydreaming#sukuna x reader
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Pervy Boyfriend!Kazutora Headcanons
♡ NSFW, fem reader, dry humping, panty stealing and sniffing, masturbation, oral->fem receiving, oral fixated!Tora, Tora has a vibrating tongue piercing, biting, neck kissing and licking, hickeys, overstimulation, hair pulling, cum eating ���
note: Idk a lot, but I do know this man is a freak 😮💨
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🐯 You can tell when he's horny because he'll hug you from behind and press his bulge against your ass
🐯 Lives for neck kisses, run your fingers through his hair while you kiss his tattoo and he'll melt in your hands
🐯 Loves to kiss and lick your neck too, leaves hickeys and bite marks all over you
🐯 Once licked your neck for so long that it left a mark
🐯 Steals your panties when you aren't around, he'll go in the laundry basket and grab the ones you just took off while you're in the shower
🐯 Damn near cums in his pants when he sniffs them
🐯 Uses your stolen underwear to jerk off while he's at work, he'll send you pics of them stained with his cum
🐯 Comes home early just to eat you out, he'd stay between your legs all day if he could
🐯 He has a vibrating tongue piercing and he loves to press it against your clit, he just thinks you look so cute squirming underneath him
🐯 Grinds himself against the bed while he eats you out, he doesn't care if he's hard, his first priority is making you cream on his tongue
🐯 Ends up overstimulating you because he's greedy asf, if you aren't cumming at least five times from his tongue alone then he doesn't feel accomplished
🐯 Stops in the middle of eating you out just to tell you how good you taste
🐯 Moans when you lightly pull on his hair and will tell you to pull harder
🐯 Leaves sloppy kisses on your thighs and pussy
🐯 Eats you out after he fucks and creampies you, he loves the way your juices taste mixed with his cum
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Taglist
@arlerts-angel @i-literally-cant-with-this @trevengersprincess @giugiette @katshimizuu @happy-trenchcoated-impala @kazubarbie @drunkcheesecake @darkstarlight82 @reiners-milkbiddies
#tokyo revengers headcanons#tokyo revengers smut#tokyo revengers x reader#kazutora smut#kazutora x reader#ngl I had to put my phone down and step away for a second while writing this 😭😮💨#my man my man my man#pushing my pervy!Tora agenda lol#I want this man so bad y'all don't understand fr 😫#somebody take my phone away cuz I'm doing too much frfr#I'm so sick and tired of not having this man in my life#I need him in my life and in my bed RN
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All Out 09.06.24 // Collision 01.18.25
#AEWedit#AEW All Out 2024#AEW Collision#hangman adam page#adam page#swerve strickland#christopher daniels#my gifs#marie#emi tag#it's about the PARALLELS#I don't think you guys comprehend how insane this whole thing has made me#this vision has plagued me since i woke up this morning and i genuinely.#something about how this match was the final nail in the coffin for both men involved#yes it was cd's retirement from in ring action but also?#it was hangman solidifying his madness. his insanity. his anger#the match with swerve he did out of necessity that was revenge that was making swerve pay for what he did#but cd? it didn't have to go like that and cd KEPT saying it didn't have to be that way#but hangman was so intentional in everything he did to cd. he wanted this man and everyone else out there to know that#he's not playing around anymore. he's never going to let himself be that man again#him stopping at the top of the ramp and choosing to go back to the ring#WHILE THE CROWD SCREAMED IN TERROR TOO BTW#whereas in the swerve match he stops himself???#god. ohmygod i'm insane i'm so sick over this match#literally been screaming crying throwing up all night over this#blood tw#cw blood#how many sets can i make out of one match??? the answer may shock you!
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HAPPY 7th ANNIVERSARY to 🥳🎉EL'S ALOLAN ADVENTURES!!!🎉🎊
Can you believe it's been 7 years already? Seven whole years... And I got to meet SO many wonderful people thanks to this comic and gained SO much experience from it, especially through the Comic Dub I recorded, directed and published last year!
No really, it's incredible to think how much of an influence this fancomic had on my life in every aspect and I am incredibly grateful for how much it helped me grow, both as an artist and a person, and how I got to build a wonderful community of both fans and friends through it over the years! 🥹🥰💖💕 Originally I wanted to plan a Livestream for today and draw something a bit more extravagant, but unfortunately like many others I'm currently sick with a harsh whooping cough 🤧😷😔
So all I managed to draw was future-Guz and El, relating to my past winter-comics of them I published around Christmas! ;w; You can see them HERE and HERE
Thank you all SO MUCH for your immense support over the years and I hope I still get to do a belated Anniversary Stream with all of you before the end of the year! ;w; Love you guys! 💖 ~Eleanor
Thank you to my Patrons, who support future updates and animations of the comic!
#guzma#els alolan adventures#pokemon comic#pokemon sun and moon#pokemon#team skull#MAN if I weren't sick I would've drawn WAAAAY MORE#and worked on the last Gladion update too#I'm ANGY I probably won't get to finish it before Christmas GRRR#But I hope you'll like the crumbs I managed to draw for today ;w;#I also have a vERY short animation of Swanna and Leafeon on my Youtube Channel#as a treat :3c
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Hey, I’m just here to say you’re extremely missed and that, even though there’s probably not much I could say to make any of the bad things less awful, I’m hoping for an easier and gentler future for you soon. Take care, ok?
Oh man, thank you so much for sending this, and I'm sorry it's taken so long to respond (and to the other person who sent me an ask, too—I'm not sure when I'll get to it but please know it was seen and means so much). It has just been. So awful. I won't dump on the public at large everything that's happened, you don't need that novel, but it feels like every day life's falling apart more and more.
Just, seriously, thank you for sending this, and to the couple of people who checked in with chats (again, I'm sorry if I haven't responded yet, spoons are just very limited). There have been a lot of times throughout this where I get overwhelmed by everything going on and some truly horrific people I've met in the fandom and I've considered deleting everything permanently! Very often!!! Tbh I'm still struggling with that VERY intense urge while writing this. I feel so unsafe, and scared, and run down.
And tbh, it's really hard to believe anyone could care about me when I feel so awful and worthless, I feel like it must be an obligation, or I somehow accidentally manipulated people, but I'm trying to cling to that being the brain demons talking. Because I really appreciate the time and effort anyone's taken with me. And I really miss fandom and fun, even if it's weighed down with some significant trauma—I still love the stories and the characters and, most importantly, the amazing people I've met here. Outside of any fandom I've poked around in, the wonderful people I've met matter the most, and I'm trying to cling to that.
I really enjoy talking with everyone, running little projects/events, and for the first time in years actually writing again. (I've been slowly plucking away at that AU I mentioned a few times and I want to start posting for an event this month but! Ahhh!!!) I would like to try and be active again, and I'm so sorry for just being such an absolute goddamn mess. I feel like this is all too much to even say, but I do want to just be honest about all of it. Still, again, thank you so much for reaching out <3 And I'm sorry this is so ridiculously long even though I don't feel like I'm saying much and nothing important, I didn't intend for this answer to be a word-vomit update, just. Things suck, but you guys are good, and I hope things are as okay as you can be on your side of the screen <3
#Ask#shiromouse#Yadda yadda#I feel really bad for even saying all this honestly kasjndkasjdn#I'm really so sorry if this is too much#The guilt has been especially bad since I was... uh baited let's say#A very very bad incident#Done by a 'friend' in the fandom maybe about a year ago now#It's just been so hard to trust and feel okay and exist man#Because you can't forget#It makes it so hard to want to exist#And my house is falling apart my animals keep getting sick#I swear it's something new every day#ANYWAY time to stop rambling#I'm gonna try to restart the queue in the next few days I just still feel... overwhelmed#That's why I stopped it#I just couldn't stand existing#BUT YEAH#GOTTA STOP RAMBLING
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[This has been sitting in my draft for a while lol]
When it comes to Curly's failings, I always see people bring up his obvious failure to protect Anya and him prioritising Jimmy, who was the rapist in that situation. Which is completely valid btw and we should rake him through the coals for that alone even more. But I also see too many people saying that Curly "didn't enable Jimmy" or playing softball for his actions. And I could maybe see where that comes from if that incident was the only thing we had to point to-- but that wasn't all he did, is it? Curly being indifferent or not taking Jimmy's mistreatment and belittlement of Anya seriously was hinted at so much earlier than that.
Namely, the very first time we play from Curly's point of view. Let's just skip the fact that Curly was putting everyone in danger by not taking his psych evals seriously and simply giving the same answers to pass them even tho he was shown literal minutes after this scene being clearly not-sane, and go straight to the point I actually wanna get into. Which is this:
These scenes in isolation wouldn't be that bad. From his pov, it's played off as comical and it is. Jimmy being a brony (not really lmao) and getting playfully dragged over it is funny. But unfortunately this is the first example out of many for Curly's complacency. Anya is complaining about Jimmy not taking his psych evals or her seriously, which is easy to believe considering how much he rags on her for "not being a good nurse" (she kept Curly alive on hopes and dreams how dare you). So he keeps making her do silly and inappropriate reports she clearly doesn't wanna do, which is kinda shitty (also borders on harassment). But rather than actually saying something about Jimmy's behaviour or even acknowledging how it sucks he says this:
Mate, that's not a good thing 💀 He's clearly aware that the problem is Jimmy's lack of respect for Anya specifically. He knows that if he, his friend and a man in power, were the one doing the evals Jimmy wouldn't try that disrespect. But it's Anya, a meek woman who ranks lower than him so he thinks he can get away with it (which he DOES), and Curly's shown as comfortable in knowing that. He doesn't chew Jimmy out for making Anya uncomfortable nor does he reassure her that he will do something about it. All he does is take it off her hands this once and helps Jimmy power through it to get a good diagnosis (even tho we know he's DEFINITELY not sane either). He doesn't even mention Anya's discomfort or confront him on his inappropriate behaviour, just teases Jimmy in good fun instead because he doesn't think of it as anything serious. It's subtle and pretty minor in comparison to everything else, but I think it's worth pointing out. Especially because this convo takes place after Jimmy had assaulted her, which makes this so much worse.
If you need any more evidence of Curly being an enabler you need not look further than Anya herself. And I'm not just talking about the way he failed her here-- I'm talking about Anya's own view of Curly and the way said view influences her actions.
Just look at her choice of wording. "What would you have done". This is in response to him saying that she could've come to him if she were feeling stressed, which she-- in his eyes-- didn't. The question itself implies that she had no faith in Curly to actually help despite his insistence that he would've, which I think is significant because it shows that she's very much aware of Curly's shortcomings when it comes to her situation AND it's one of the first (or the first time) she actually verbalised her lack of trust towards him or anyone directly. Prior to this scene she had told him about her rape and the rapist, presumably because she trusted him to handle it. And he dismissed her because the rapist was his best friend, and that evidently deeply scarred her. Enough so that she secretly took the gun and hid it someplace else and didn't even tell Curly were that was, because she knows that if Curly has access to it there's a so much greater chance Jimmy will have too, insinuated by the line "the least I can do is make sure he never gets it either". Speaking about the gun:
It sucks so bad that this perception of him isn't even inaccurate nor unjustified. That despite everything Jimmy had done to her and everything he could still do to her, he'd very likely still not allow her access to the gun for protection. Because that's exactly what he didn't do anyway. He didn't attempt to keep her safe from Jimmy, instead he just pretended that nothing was wrong and still let Jimmy's belittlement of her pass. He didn't give her the gun after the incident, because she wouldn't have hid the case if he had. Despite his desperate reassurance that he'd do anything, he did nothing but make it worse for her and she KNOWS that. It's so frustrating knowing he entrusted the axe to Swansea when he needed it but not the gun to Anya when she needed it too. Also this:
The fact that his knee-jerk reaction to her admitting that she's pregnant was "Who would you--" is so fucked, especially considering she's already told him what happened. "Who would you" what? Who would you fuck? Who would you have sex with? That choice of wording drives me up a wall-- SHE wouldn't and didn't do anything or anyone. That was JIMMY. The potential sentence implies that she had any choice or agency in her pregnancy. She didn't. And the fact that Curly had to ask "who" insinuates that he's been putting Jimmy's action out of sight and out of mind the whole time, choosing to not think about them or what happened to Anya at all. And considering he still made her do Jimmy's evaluations despite being able to do them himself and literally didn't even think of making sure she gets psych evals done too--especially AFTER getting sexually assaulted--that might actually be the case (I haven't seen anyone make a stink about that piece of info so I'm going to because what kinda colossal fuck up IS that??).
I vaguely had a post like this in mind but seeing so many people be like "well Anya did some wrong stuff too like leaving Curly alone with Jimmy but you don't get mad at HER for that so why is Curly not doing anything about Jimmy being alone with Anya so different??" actually makes me want to blow some people up. Jimmy's an abuser, sure, but Anya has no real reason to believe that he'd actually harm Curly. From her perspective, they were close, close enough that Curly would not only let Jimmy continuously disrespect her but also get away with assaulting her too. That, and she knows that Jimmy was closer to Curly than anyone and more likely to be civil around him than he ever was to her. She has barely any reasons to suspect Jimmy would harm Curly when they're alone. Curly, on the other hand, has every fucking reason on the planet to think Jimmy would harm her when they're alone. He knows he raped her (likely in her room at night too). He knows that he sexually harasses her. He knows that he doesn't respect her at all. And that was BEFORE the crash. Anya tried insisting on giving Curly his medicine, only for Jimmy to keep aggressively insisting that he'll take care of it despite her protests. Curly didn't try to keep them separate at all even though he was the Captain and had the power to do so. And this should go without saying, but leaving your rapist alone with his best friend that he was close to and enabled/protected him and leaving your friend alone with the woman he raped (and might have repeatedly assaulted given his free access to her) is NOT THE SAME and I'm going to start chucking some people down a waterfall because what the fuck is that argument 💀 Actually leave it to the fandom of the game where the rape of a woman is the catalyst for the events that unfold to use her trauma to defend the guy that enabled it in the first place. Bloody hell.
The reason why this whole Curly discourse pisses me off is because it-- from what I can see-- ONLY brings up his failures 1-0 days before the crash and the Dead Pixel scene (or all the discussion around other points are drowned out by those two). Those scenes, while important to talk about, are not the only things he's done, and focussing on those as the only things is a mistake that comes short of understanding the issue. When it comes to Curly the main defences I see for him are "he was trying not to escalate the situation" and "he was trying to keep things under control the best he can" and "he was waiting for the right time to help Anya", but those don't work when you look at the bigger picture of everything he's done.
He half-assed through his psych eval despite clearly not being sane (and KNOWING he's barely sane, he literally admits it to Jimmy's face). He still continued to task her with Jimmy's psych evals. He brushed over Jimmy's sexual harassment of her as a joke. He didn't think about making sure she got psych evals done herself after being raped. He gave Swansea the axe but didn't give Anya the gun despite it being for "unrest amongst the crew" (whatever the hell THAT means). He let her assault slip his mind that she had to remind him. He's literally a blond man. He took no action to hold Jimmy responsible for anything, and prioritised how his violation of Anya would affect him rather than her. He ignored her demands for him to get rid of Jimmy. He still allowed Jimmy free reign of the ship as co-pilot even after he was openly fantasising about killing everyone and had a major motive and the means to do just that. He was potentially thinking of making her miscarry to cover up what happened. He was so accustomed to her sucking up being disrespected and disturbed that he didn't even notice a difference in her behaviour until she hid the fucking gun. There's so much other shit he's done and hasn't done, and not talking about them or glossing over them makes it so easy for people to argue that he isn't actually an enabler or just minimise the severity of his neglect.
And while I'm already dragging Curly through the mud, I might as well just drag Swansea too. I've seen too many people being like "Anya should've told Swansea instead" and "Swansea was the one that actually took responsibility". Like, y'all realise he's not that much better than Curly, right? He already knew about what happened to Anya-- he admits it to Jimmy's face-- but he didn't do shit. He knew, but he still got completely shitfaced for months despite her earlier protestation to that (for very understandable reasons). He knew, but he still let Jimmy have the axe AND be alone with Anya while having it. He knew, but when Anya locked herself in the Medical and Daisuke and Jimmy asked for his help he didn't budge nor really showed any care. He knew, but the reason he finally decided to do something about Jimmy wasn't Anya, it was Daisuke. Her suffering and her eventual death weren't enough for him to take action either.
This game, on top of everything else, is a great depiction of rape culture. It doesn't just include the rapists, but the people (mostly men) that stay silent, do nothing, make excuses for and protect the perpetrator for whatever reason, and Swansea and Curly (Curly way more so than Swansea) are both active contributors to the environment that allowed for evil to flourish and continue unhindered until it destroyed them all. And while that arguably doesn't make them evil themselves or as bad as Jimmy, they are so much more a part of the bigger problem than the fandom likes to admit.
[Ok since this is kinda gaining a bit of traction please consider helping these guys out here, here and here. Thanks!]
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#anya mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#do not come for me curly fans i'm one of y'all i promise. kinda#if i had a nickle for every time i made a post dragging a blond man i'd have three#which isn't a lot now but that number will likely increase in the future lmao#seriously tho i'm so sick of seeing people be all “there's no evidence that he's an enabler” and “he did all he could” like screw you guys#the point of the whole story is that his inaction is what allowed for everything to happen#that his willingness to do nothing put him in a state where he can only watch the horrors without being able to do anything if he wanted to#it's about TWO captains who kept going on about taking responsibility and did anything BUT that#he's not as horrible as jimmy obviously but he doesn't need to be to do damage and be awful#you know what i very well may just be a lot meaner and uncharitable to him than i should be here#but i guess tumblr can be the judge of that. i still rest my case. now time to continue avoiding curly discourse like usual XD#normally i wouldn't care enough to make a post about the way the fandom treats him because it's nothing unique or anything#but something about this game and him being blond specifically made me unable to resist. i just can't be nice to him for that alone#pardon the typos i whipped this up in a hurry and am too lazy to go over everything right now#momento rambles
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My interests are directly aligning this is NOT a drill!!!
With the DC crossover announced and the images released, I figured that since most of the sonic cast are technically teens(??) it would be cool to see them as the teen heroes, too!! Here's Sonic as Impulse, Knuckles as Superboy, Amy as Wonder Girl, Tails as Robin, and Shadow as the blue Black Beetle!
Bonus shadow with black doom bc i loved how the doodle turned out :) he's essentially the stand-in for the scarab Khaji Da
I do love shadow as batman, but i figured blue beetle was a good fit, what with the alien stuff and his new doom powers in the upcoming game that give him wings and transformation abilities
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic fanart#sonic x dc#young justice#(which i'm going to tag bc i do in fact have all the members of the core 4 depicted)#dc comics#oh god. do i tag all the characters??#knuckles the echidna#amy rose#miles tails prower#shadow the hedgehog#WOW these were fun to draw. the sonic style is so fun!!!#i feel like this dc crossover was created specifically to cater to me#which is fabulous.#but man shadow was so hard to draw tho. i mean he's already hard to draw bc he's got all these shapes but then i had to add#all those stupid spider arms. and also his air shoes are surprisingly hard to get right???#whatever. i think it turned out sick#OH also i didn't include silver bc i think that green lantern is perfect for him and i couldn't improve the design#superboy#dc impulse#wonder girl#dc robin#just for good measure. i mean technically it is them#art#my art#weaverofink#should i turn these into stickers?? they look very sticker-able#or is this too niche. is this a combo only for me
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realized a drawing i'm doing rn is almost identically posed to one i did 8.5 years ago of a different oc, except the old drawing was instantly tainted by one of the players featured messaging me asking if i could take it down because their abusive, possessive rp partner saw it and got jealous of them "roleplaying behind their back" and i said "nah" and it became a whole Thing that i should have walked away from at that exact moment but didn't and the 6 months that followed contained some of the most truly condensed batshit i have ever witnessed in an rp community already well-known for its batshittery.
... anyway i love my friends. so happy to accidentally redeem the pose.
#idk if ill ever open up completely about that shitshow but#i think 8 years is past the statute of limitations to vaguepost about it#late tag addition but man now i'm thinking about it all at 4am#how did in the good goddamn did i witness that and still not only let them make me an officer#but also let them put me functionally in charge of their guild IC#while those two fucked off and erped in instanced zones or played overwatch#and i and my then-rp-partner took the heat for the meandering plotline#until my partner vented to the wrong person about the abuse#and it got back to them#and we got to experience the surreality of an honest to god guild coup#all to salvage the image of some egomaniac abuser#certified fucking wra moment#its been 8 years and thinking about how i was treated in the end makes me feel sick lol#they made a new guild discord and invited everyone but us#and when i noticed the channel had gone quiet i asked what was up#and was met with gaslighting about how i'm 'thinking too much' about the channel being a 'little slow'#and it took pushing to get an early admission of what was about to happen#so we logged on and quit ourselves#which fucked up the narrative they had constructed#and they lied in the new channel that WE were the ones doing a 'coup' and that we stole the members who left with us#i guess i am opening up after all#i had to play the fucking villain of that scenario for the past 8 years#all to protect the mental health of people who hurt me#why#if you were there and know what i'm referencing with all of this... there's the fucking story#the person in question is a massively popular artist#i just dont have it in me to fight that fight
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tagged by @shrips for 9 books you'd like to read in the new year! ty for the tag-- i tag @halfagod @albatrossisland @eponine119 @tru-lyly
#some of these i've started (ie the last book is from the library and i've tried doing the exercises digitally)#i've wanted to try learning how to paint rather than just doing flats but it is sooo time consuming man#also a lot of these is literary / academic / jargony but i guarantee you i will read like#only one of them#i'm a little through elite capture and it's interesting but i'm like maaaan this is a little too much like coursework rn#so realistically i will read smoke / martyr / hopefully oil / maybe enayat or burn#kala and my mother laughs i am hoping to get to bc i forget who recced it to me here but i will try.#also for whoever tagged me before for other ask games but i never got to it im sorry ill get better at it next year again#truthfully i think it is bc i am irl more now lmao tag games used to be my no 1 priority#or im sick and am like im not typing shit rn#im sick rn#i really need to get off escitalopram man the Sicknesses are only getting sicker#also shrips if ur somehow still reading all this dont worry abt ur stuff being not literary its p good tbh i feel like#against a pretentious person's judgement#(NOT ME I THINK. BUT THERE R TITLES THT R CLASSICS THERE AND THE PRENTENTIOUS PPL R USUALLY OK W THOSE)
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😭😭😭
#man I know hot topic merch is its own little thing like they basically make some of their own designs rather than it being the artist's#actual merch that they've been involved in#but the fact that there's a hot topic fob shirt with demonic imagery (like ouija board type thing I think) is really bothering me#like. I had to stop reading fma because of stuff like this. is God asking me to give up my favorite band now too? because I don't know#if I can handle this. and I KNOW it's just for the aesthetic there's nothing truly demonic in any way in fob's music#other than the ybc which. OK it's a bit weird in how it deals with the religious stuff but that's not really the same thing I don't think?#like idk I just feel sick inside now and idk how to handle this. like I couldn't get any peace at all until I put down fma so is it the same#thing here? I don't know how to handle it#the worst part is that it's so easy to excuse as being hot topic merch and not actual band merch. but then I think I'm just#making excuses so I can make the wrong choice
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The older I get and the more terrible takes I see the more in favour I become of gatekeeping
#text post#Normies who so so so badly want to be part of a certain crowd to be quirky while being actually disgusted by that crowd's whole thing#People going “I want that old man” but the character is 30 because they can't imagine someone REALLY thirsting after an actual older man#“He's so caked up!” about a Genshin Impact character because when people say that they can't POSSIBLY mean being attracted to fat people#“This game is ableist” because the horror game with horror themes explores extremely dark concepts#and they want to like the popular horror because it's cool to like it but they can't fathom people ACTUALLY liking REAL dark content#“This game should have an easy mode” because the super hard game known for being hard is too hard for them#and they hate not being part of the fandom about the hard game that's known for being hard#“Ok hear me out” about the most milquetoast character because when people say “hear me out”#they can't POSSIBLY be ACTUALLY attracted to the really weird shit#and if they are any of these things they are sick and twisted and problematic and -ist and -phobic and perverts and degenerates#I'm done#Stop trying to be a freak for clout when at your core you're actually happier with generic crowdpleaser media#Stop moving into spaces not for you and then demanding they cater to you#And forcing out the real audience using morality and shame as your weapons of choice#I'm so fucking done#vent
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Okay I know Stranger Things is super not popular rn, but I just had this thought - Instagram is at fault, I swear - so imagine hiring Eddie Munson as your "professional boyfriend" for the holidays because your family sucks and you want to piss them off.
And Eddie fucking delivers, 10/10. It's utter chaos everywhere. Your mum is crying, your nan is telling you how improper this is, and your dad is fuming. Your niece is sobbing because she's a brat, and Eddie told her as much, and the one cousin no one likes is laughing so hard that the soup your brother in law brought shoots up through his nose.
I don't even need a proper romance. They can shake hands and go their separate ways. It's enough that he annoys the fam. Pure catharsis, man.
It's so much fun, I love it.
#can you tell the holidays are driving me insane?#i'm so sick of family stuff I just want to be left alone please#sadly I could bring virtually anyone and my family wouldn't be disappointed because they're progressive blegh 🙄#which should be a good thing and it is - just not for petty games like this one#at first I was like damn billy would be good too but nah man#billy is actually capable of beeing super agreeable and woo the shit out of your parents#or at least outta your mum and aunts and grandma.#anything female#but eddie?#no chance#i like the guy but he's so socially inept he could never#he'd prolly be nervous and that just makes him more crazy and awkward#stranger things#stranger things eddie#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson#sth eddie munson#billy hargrove#stranger things billy#billy#billy bob#Hawkins#hawkins indiana
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"proship dni" this, "comship dni" that, "neutral dni" unfortunately the people you don't like are still human and deserve comfort. my fucking god shut the hell up you're just as annoying as they are and protest WAY too much about it. go unlearn your purity morality shit
#i dont even KNOW what comship means man#but im so tired of reading every instance of this under the sun with every post about selfshipping#like you realize a good CHUNK of the selfshipping community is going to BE them because they're already otherwise normally ostracized from#their communities for other reasons including being neurodivergent.#they deserve comfort too good lord shut the fuck up with the holier-than-thou “i'm better than you” attitude you're really fucking not and#frankly i'm more suspicious of people like you having something to hide about what they like and dislike#i'm neither pro nor anti nor neutral i'm just a human fucking being that stopped giving a shit about stuff that truly does not matter and#won't affect me in the long run. i'm an adult with more serious things to worry about.#it's like seeing the damn “dni” banners everywhere You Are Annoying.#also it's not like i like anything particularly 'heinous' anyways or pedophilic and i shouldn't need to clarify this but apparently i do!#i'm just sick of this purity culture bullshit i REALLY am#whether u want to hear this or not it is queerphobic and ableist. do u understand? cool.#proship#comship#f/o#selfship#selfshipping
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Sparkstember Day 18: Balls (Bullet Train)
Sometimes (oftentimes) it's true that all you need are Balls. I personally absolutely love Balls. I'm a big fan! Ekhem. Today I'm using the help of (I mean, copying most of the passages from it) my earlier Balls rant that I have written down after my first listen of it back in January. I really love this album and I don't want to completely skip over saying a couple words on it at least but I really don't think I have the headspace to write anything very good for it today. I'll still try though!
So yeah, Balls. It's a great album, fun and chill (in my sense of what I call and consider chill anyway), consistent, as Sparks albums tend to be, and as I suspected / hoped it does fit this specific vibe of driving around at night somewhere city-like and illuminated. Or being on a train deep at night and looking at the world zooming by (if you'd even see much of it on a train at night anyway.....). And I do think that it's not so dissimilar to Gratsax (I'd say now that it's definitely darker and moodier than its predecessor...). So it's interesting to think about how it's considered to be one of the "weak" ones (by music reviewers at least) while Gratsax is so beloved in comparision.
I will admit, I don't really know what the big problem with this album could be. As I said, it's fun, it has the melodies, it has the energy, it has the theatricality (I like seeing how more and more orchestral instruments such as strings are being incorporated into the music, in a way the jump into Lil' Beethoven two years later doesn't come of as THAT much of a shock because of this. The evolution of sound here is fascinating!) I really like the intense beats, just as much as the more laid-back and moodier pieces. And there's lots of gold to be found in the lyrics department as always.
One more thing I wanna say is that at some point I wondered if this music sounds older than it is. Maybe it does? But then I remembered that this was 2000 and honestly when I think about it, there just IS something about this album that fits so well with the Y2K image and vibe and all. Sparks 2000 and all that.
Favourite songs (and other highlights):
Balls: I mean. It's Balls.
Scheherazade: absolutely LOVE this one and I had the strangest impression of it sounding very familiar when I first heard it. Months later I found out that it was just briefly featured in TSB so I think that explains it (I will talk more about my TSB viewings on TSB day. EVERYTHING has to be explained in excruciating detail, lmao)
The Calm Before The Storm: bugsonas 4ever. Song itself is amazing too
How To Get Your Ass Kicked: how can a song about getting your ass kicked be so pleasant and relaxing, it always keeps cracking me up, how perfect that is actually
Bullet Train: I love it how introducing the topic of the song with a "It's the [topic of the song]" is a reoccurring theme on this album. Thank you Sparks for this ode to technology and art (these lyrics always have me giggling). And also it just goes hard as heck
It's Educational: a perfect fusion of / sequel to I Thought I Told You To Wait In The Car and Progress (it's mostly the vocal delivery that reminds me of the latter)
The Angels: such an odd one here but I still like it a lot, I apparently said that it sounds "surprisingly mainstream for Sparks but somehow in a positive way". It's very sweet and I absolutely love how Russell sings here, it's so different from what we're used to but that only makes it hit you even more in the feels, lol. And I actually prefer the alternative version of this song that's featured as a bonus track, and I do think that's in big part because you can hear Russell better on it (or that was my first impression of it at least and it kind of stuck)
#balls dayyyyyyy#how weird that i went with a different drawing idea than the bugsonas considering that i'm such a big fan of them#(maybe the bugsonas COULD appear later. still don't have an idea for the final day so hm. thinking about this)#but yeah i couldn't pass up the opportunity to draw russell in this era of glasses & haircut combination#and i love sparks' tour photos too much to not give them some sort of tribute at least once#and honestly! i think this is my favourite drawing so far. might even beat out noisy boys#it turned out better than the vision i had of it in my mind!!! that NEVER happens. yet it did this time#(yet also i'm adding this to the series of me making my life harder for myself that it needs to be#because i insisted that the text has to be handwritten for WHATEVER reason. looks good tho so that's a win)#but also man. lil beethoven day tomorrow#i feel so sick about all three of the upcoming albums still and it brings me close to having an existential crisis#to think about how it's been almost a year already since i first heard LB. that's just soooo wrongggggg#i've already been thinking pretty hard abt these albums over the past couple of days (just like every day before that too tbh)#truly nothing else like them in this world. tune in tomorrow to see the madness unfold!!!#sparkstember 2024#my art#goose monologues
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