#I'm too rational to do that

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

Why is everything in my life pointing to me needing an unethical romance with an older woman

[blondie-drawings]

Good lord this tomb is full of shitposts 😳😳 pt 1/pt 2

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Why are you running?

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[meidui]

so confused when people hate miss agent margaret carter because what do you have against a woman with big beautiful brown eyes who pummels people with her entire body weight

[genericpuff]

There's a user going around currently reblogging/commenting on antiLO content with the intent of "digging up dirt" on people who simply read and enjoy the comic. Basically demanding the OP's of such posts to inform them of any 'stans' so they can add them to a 'list' that they absolutely do not have any good intentions to do with, along with making some very unsavory and completely unwarranted comments about the fans in general (and I don't mean the usual "lmao LO fans are weird/dumb/etc." stuff, I mean genuinely cruel wishes to have the fans of the comic doxxed/harmed/etc.) I have blocked this user for obvious reasons, and if you get a similar reblog or DM like I did from this person, I hope you'll do the same.

Please do not play into this. As much as I and many others talk shit about this dumpster fire of a comic and its questionable if not outright controversial writing and messaging, none of us have any right to go after any of the fans or stans directly. At best that would just be proving to the fans who already hate this part of the fandom that we're boogeymen out to get people, at worst it would be a betrayal to our own integrity as human beings who should be capable of discussing media without turning it into a harassment campaign. Making shitposts about the media and the fandom is fine, discussing the media itself and the creator who made it within our own little spaces of the Internet is ultimately harmless so long as it's managed within reason, but deliberately going out of your way to dig up personal information on innocent people within the fandom for the purpose of ruining their life is not okay and if you ever get to that point where you're trying to rationalize going after people directly, you need to log off.

[astralhope]

Yuma beings Astral's main concern even when Astral himself is in danger.

[trans-leek-cookie]

listen I'm not gonna be a Curly apologist he did Fucked Up as captain but I genuinely recommend ppl watch a playthru that goes thru the game in chronological order. It kinda helps clear up the events and gaps between them, bc even tho u See the times, you still experience it out of order.

The stuff Anya says definitely sets off alarm bells but it doesn't seem like he Fully Understands what she means, and I'm going to be 100% honest I think she was trying to repress it herself. This isn't to say that she is AT ALL "at fault" for what happened after and she should've gotten help even if she wasn't ready to fully discuss the issue but I genuinely think she herself was still coming to terms with things, so she didn't necessarily process the full impact before talking to Curly, and a lot of what happens occurs after they're laid off- like this delves into personal interpretation but I genuinely think Anya only registered Jimmy as a serious danger after his outburst towards Curly. Ofc my interpretation is limited bc of the limited pov in game and not having gone through what she has, but it personally reads more akin to coercion over time than a singular Obviously Violent incident (like. Not to say that Sexual Assault isnt violent in nature, just that coercion often specifically works to obfuscate the fact it is a form of violence.) The layoff is a Massive catalyst for her bc of Jimmy, in that she now has a very clear understanding of his capacity for aggression.

To extrapolate a little from the "Dead Pixel" conversation, she starts by saying she Likes The Screen (even though it's fake). While Curly has his quotes about the pixel "not ruining the illusion" which. Y'know is Symbolic Of His Flaws. She doesn't say the pixel ruins it, just that she can't get it out of her mind.

If we take the pixel to represent her Or jimmy, either way the way she talks about it kind of downplays things, like it's a Minor Thing that's Slightly Upsetting, but she's still okay with the big picture. Idk I could be 100% wrong but that is my take

Besides that, Anya tells curly she's pregnant 2 days before the crash, and it isn't until she outright states it that he starts Putting The Pieces Together. I want to note, he says "I'd do anything" and "this doesn't have to go on our performance evals" 1. Before he knows shes pregnant 2. Under the assumption she might attempt suicide, and I doubt he even thought about her using the gun on anyone else before she brings that up. He says literally before the line where she tells him she's pregnant that "being laid off isnt a reason to hurt [herself]". Like I've seen ppl talk about the performance evaluation thing like it's about her and jimmy, but I think he's referring to (his belief) that she might attempt suicide or similar which might genuinely be a consistent thing he's seen her struggle with, given she's able to go through with it. Also just to note: assuming their society is like ours (hellish) reassuring her he won't blab Abt her mental health is like. Genuine reassurance- lots of mentally ill ppl will Not Open Up bc it could have long term consequences (like. For example. On employment) ANYWAYS I hope it doesn't come off like "Curly never failed Anya" but rather "Curly approached this specific situation without the context of why Anya is panicking and (possibly validly) assuming she's dealing with a very different issue"

Also let me say again the time frame is 2 days. We don't Really see what happens, but we know Anya tells Jimmy without Curly knowing. I genuinely believe he maybe didn't do a Great Job in those two days (the fact he says Anya should've talked to Him before telling Jimmy is uhhh. Mm. 1. Your job to create an environment where she comes to you my man 2. Weird to tell her what she should do with HER OWN PERSONAL INFORMATION) but like.

I get a lot of ppl want immediate consequences but consider that they can't really get rid of Jimmy (co pilot. Which is. Y'know it's Own Problems) but also like. Curly knows Jimmy, and we know that Jimmy tends to lash out. Curly should probably Not Confront Jimmy Unless He Knows Exactly How To Keep Him From Hurting Anya. Like I'm not an expert but this is something genuinely important- when confronting an abuser you NEED to take into account the impact it can have on their victim, and sometimes for the victims safety you need to wait until you have a Solid Plan. It sucks but it's important.

And theres discussion to be had about Curly kinda going along with Jimmy saying "well what if we all died" and like. I do believe he Didn't Realize What Jimmy Said. Like he was just processing/trying to keep the situation under control (and failing because he underestimated how willing Jimmy was to hurt everyone including himself).

Like he's definitely an enabler but I would say his problems are mostly before he understands the gravity of the situation, in that he's friends with Jimmy and assumes the best of a man with abusive tendencies, and fails to create an environment that can keep Anya and the others safe. Like, he definitely doesn't handle in game events perfectly (psych evaluation for one- he does do it instead of Anya which is actually helpful, but he still treats it like. Weirdly.)

Idk I have a lot of thoughts about this game and I don't necessarily want to defend Curly but more like. Anya's situation is very delicate (and light on details) so sometimes the way ppl talk Abt it feels like they aren't actually focused on what she wants and what it means to prioritize her safety y'know?

Edit bc I just now figured out kinda how I want to word it: curly is an enabler and making things worse bc he doesn't put a stop to Jimmy's BS, but in the specific scenario we see in game I think he's trying to use his Skillset of like, people pleasing not for Jimmy's sake but for the crews (like "if I nod my head and say I sympathize he won't lash out and hurt them") which like. There are situations which that is unfortunately the safest option (on an individual level yes, but sometimes it's also necessary to prevent abusers lashing out in response toward ppl who are more vulnerable) but it was the Wrong Choice.

It's like. I think Curly was trying and had good intentions, and understood that he needed to protect the crew, but he didn't have the toolset/experience to realize he can't Just go along with things and that he needs to be able to set hard limits, even for ppl he likes and trusts. Like he failed but the failure was "for want of a nail", where it began way before what we see (for want of an understanding of power dynamics I guess.) Again, don't think this makes curly more forgivable or whatever, I just think he's a good example of trying to make the right choices when you never realized you'd have to make these kinds of decisions and therefore are unprepared and/or unaware

Second edit: personally I don't think you can really incapacitate jimmy without there being serious risk (again he's the copilot) but curly should've given Anya the gun when she told him Abt the pregnancy

[respectthepetty]

I started to watch Kiseki last week thanks to my dash. My original plan was to bingewatch it after it`s finished if it has a happy ending which might have been wiser. However I am obsessed with Ai Di and Chen Yi. I think it`s interesting that Chen Yi tells Ai Di that they have to be quiet during their first night because Ai Di would get angry if he heard. I am not sure how he wouldn`t recognise Ai Di even if he is drunk because they have always been together but that`s not the point. He clearly cares about Ai Di and doesn`t want to upset him. But how does he know that Ai Di would hear them? Has he heard Ai Di with another man and has he been mad? Even though he calls Ai Di brother at that point he seems awfully upset when Ai Di is with other men and drags him away from them.

Anon, you didn't know this when you sent it, but I am the wrong person to ask.

I'm stressed.

I'm spiraling.

I'm laying in a field of lavender trying to snort the stems in an attempt to chill the fuck out.

All because Kiseki: Dear to Me's finale is so close that I feel it, yet I'm terrified the scene we are all clinging to from the extended trailer is a fake-out, and we are about to be MODC-ed all over again.

If this doesn't make sense to you, GOOD! Stay innocent, anon. Three episodes ago, I was worried about the same thing as you, but here I am on the eve of the eve of the finale, and I can't bring myself to fathom the show will kill someone, even though IT ALREADY KILLED SOMEONE!

But if you do know what I'm writing about, Anon, HOW ARE YOU SO CALM RIGHT NOW?! At least calm enough to send me this ask on the eve of the eve of the finale?! How is Laws of Attraction the only show to know the value of a bulletproof vest unlike all these mafia BLs WHERE IT SHOULD BE A GIVEN?!

And you're just as cool as a caterpillar on a leaf. I'm the caterpillar in the cocoon dissolving into liquid mush freaking the fuck out about death and bulletproof vests, while you are munching on the good bits of this story. Teach. Me. Your. Ways. I'm over here praying to all the santos about a FICTIONAL CHARACTER! My ancestors are judging me right now. So is God.

So due to divine shade, I'll try to answer your question - Chen Yi admitted he was always jealous of Eddie being with other people which is why he was dragging Eddie's ass out of places, (so I can't imagine him being on your level of chill if he heard Eddie having sex with someone else), but Chen Yi didn't realize that it was jealously and possessiveness until Eddie was . . .

Until Eddie WASN'T THERE!

See, I'm already detouring again! Because what will Eddie do if Chen Yi ISN'T THERE?!

I don't care if this chick is Zhang Teng's sister avenging his death or just has a crush on Baker Boy. She is the sole female character, and as a feminist who supports female wrongs, if she is the shooter, Mortal Kombat "FINISH HER ASS"

I support the gays, the goths, and the girls, but in the words of a woman who got it, Jane Austen,

Had not my feelings decided against you, sus high school girlie— had they been indifferent, or had they even been favorable, do you think that any consideration would tempt me to accept the woman who has been the means of ruining, perhaps forever, the happiness of a most beloved menace?

She better have really gone to the dumpster to throw that glass she just conveniently broke and helps step in to save Chen Yi when she witnesses the shooting because if not . . .

"FUCK"

[crownedwille]

I've come to the conclusion that loving young royals doesn't mean I can't be critical about it, maybe especially bc I love the show so much I have such strong feelings about it, good and bad and I can love parts of canon and agree with it and appreciate it but I don't have to love it all. I have accepted that it's okay if I don't accept the ending and I don't have to force myself to support it. It's okay to not agree with all of canon and it's okay to not side with all of the creators' intentions/views. Loving a show doesn't mean you have to take everything the writers say on face value and that's the only version that is allowed to exist. Canon isn't everything and fandom is about curating your own experience that makes you happy and not miserable. You don't have to dismiss canon in every aspect and ignore it entirely, that's certainly not what I want but there is a fine line between being canon respectful, allowing some parts to exist and sometimes, yes, you just have to say "fuck canon" and move on for your own sanity and wellbeing

[anaalnathrakhs]

love this part of my life where the things that are difficult but challenging and good for me are things i can stop and skip and halfass, but the things that are difficult and painful and pointless are the things i have to live with no matter what

[bellysoupset]

"Penny for your thoughts?" Luke asked, falling on the bed next to Bella. She didn't look up from her phone, but opened a small smile as she felt her husband squeeze her calf and press a kiss to her naked thigh.

"Wendy isn't answering," she said and Luke stopped kneading on her leg as if he was a cat, raising his eyebrows.

"Uhm-"

"We've been back for two days now. I've texted, I've called... They should be back from Doveport by now, no?" Bella looked away from her phone and Luke nodded, cringing.

He hadn't been texting Vince, out of sheer heartbreak, and now he regretted it, "I could call Vin...?"

"No," Bella shook her head, sitting up straight on the bed, "I'm calling Jon. Maybe Wendy just doesn't wanna talk with me."

"Why wouldn't she?" Luke frowned, noticing the slight waver to Bell's voice. Wendy was clearly very important to her, a development he hadn't predicted and that he wasn't entirely sure when it had happened, but she was.

"I don't know, but something... Something isn't right," Bella decided, getting up from the bed and pacing the bedroom, holding the phone to her ear.

He watched as she chewed on her nails, waiting for Jon to pick up and the way her voice went up a note as he did so, nerves clearly fried from overthinking.

"And she hasn't answered any of your texts either?" Bella said, walking straight to the wardrobe. She pulled out her leggings, squeezing the phone between her cheek and shoulder as she put the pants on, "I'm worried Jon, I'm going over to her place... Yeah, no, I know she's probably still down in Doveport with Vin, but I just- I'll let you know," Bell agreed, gesturing for Lucas to get her snow boots, "yeah, I'll text if she's there... Or if I need help- I'm taking Luke as well-"

Lucas raised his eyebrows, he wasn't aware he'd be going anywhere, but clearly Bell had made up her mind without telling him.

"Alright, bye, love you," Bella said it all in one breath, hanging up and planting her hands on her waist, "get dressed, we're going to Wen's building."

"What did Jonah say?" Lucas asked, obeying without questioning. Bella looked worried and he didn't like it one bit.

"She hasn't answered any of his texts either, since Christmas."

"Well, it's only the twenty nine..." Luke said, throwing Bell her scarf and putting on his socks, "I'm sure everything is fine, baby. They're probably still in Doveport-"

"Uhum," Bella hummed, clearly not buying his reassurances, planting a beanie over her wild curls, "I'm gonna try calling her again."

It was to no avail, so they were in the car not ten minutes later and it was another fifteen before they stopped in front of Wendy's building. Unlike Jonah's, Wen's building only required a password to get inside the building, something Luke thought was terribly unsafe as he followed Bell inside.

She was bouncing on her feet on the elevator ride and he placed a hand over his wife's shoulder, "breathe, baby."

"Stay in the hallway," Bell answered, instead, continuing to nibble on her thumb, ready to draw blood.

For a moment, as Bella knocked on Wendy's door loudly, Luke was convinced the other woman wasn't home. It was the best case scenario, that Vin and Wendy were still down in Doveport, having the time of their lives and they were worrying for nothing-

And then the door opened and Lucas cringed, seeing Bella visibly flinch at the sight.

Wendy was wearing sweatpants and a big sweater from Penn University, her brown hair lying limply around her face and it looked like she hadn't slept in days. Her face was milky white and she was a mess.

"What?"

"I- You're home!" Bella's voice cracked, unsure of how to approach this, "and you're not picking up your phone and I'm worried and- Well, you look terrible, Wen-"

Wendy raised her eyebrows at that, arms crossed to her chest, "maybe I'm not picking up my phone because I want to be alone, has that crossed your mind?"

Bella and Luke were both taken back by the sharp tone, but while Luke was reeling, Bell recovered faster.

Her voice dropped, "Wen, what's going on?"

"Vince dumped me, what do you think happened?" Wendy leaned against the threshold of her house, still refusing to let them inside, "don't bother faking the surprise, you all knew already. I know you knew-"

"Vince dumped- What!?" Bella cut her off, confused, "no, he didn't, he wouldn't-"

Luke cringed at Bella's denial, catching Wendy's bloodshot gaze. Clearly she had been going through the ringer and all by herself. He was familiar with that feeling, specially when it was a direct consequence of loving Vince, which felt very unfair to even think of his best friend... but was also the truth.

"So apparently my boyfriend, forgive me, my ex-boyfriend wants to move back with mom and dad," Wendy's voice was terribly cold, "and he gave me a super sweet ultimatum at Christmas. Move with him or get dumped."

"That doesn't- What the fuck, Wendy?" Bella recovered from her denial, "are you okay? Why didn't you say anything, Wen?" she stepped closer, all well meaning and Lucas stuffed his hands on his pockets, standing across the hall as he correctly predicted Wendy jumping back and out of Bell's hug.

"You knew," Wendy's voice was dripping venom, "so spare me the sentimentality-"

"Knew? I didn't know-" Bella shook her head, misinterpreting Wendy's words, confused.

"You absolutely knew!" Wendy exclaimed, "you knew, because you-" she pointed at Luke, who flinched as he caught her bloodshot, heartbroken eyes, "you knew. Of course he told you, he tells you everything. And Jonah knew and Leo fucking knew- Do you have any idea how utterly humiliating was to find out Vince was ready to leave me, while I was in his parents house, and that everyone knew but me? Everyone, every single one of my friends and you guys still let me-"

"Wendy, I didn't-" Bella shook her head, frantically, "I didn't know that. I knew- I knew what Luke told me, that Vince was thinking of moving, that's all. I swear, that's all we knew and that-"

"You could have told me," Wendy scoffed, her voice wavering and breaking, "you should have told me."

"I swear I didn't know," Bella's voice got all squeezy, trying to push past the lump in her throat, "I swear, Wen, I didn't- I didn't think he'd-"

"Dump me?" Wendy said sourly, "well, he did."

There was a second of heavy silence, Wendy's chest heaving as she panted for air as if she had just ran a marathon and Bella too stunned to say anything...

"Come here," Bella scoffed, stepping closer and fighting Wendy off when the shorter girl tried to push her away, "stop, stop- Stop fighting me, let me fucking hug you!"

"I don't want a fucking hug-" Wendy's voice came out muffled, as she was fully wrapped into Bell's arms... And then the sobs followed. Big, horrible sobs as she melted into the hug and wrapped her arms around the ginger's waist, "I just- I just can't believe he'd-"

"Shhhh..." Bella squeezed her a little tighter, gesturing over her shoulder for Luke to leave. While this was an emergency, it wasn't the type of issue he could be any help on.

She didn't wait to see if her husband had gotten the memo or not, pulling them inside the room and shutting the door behind them, rubbing Wendy's back up and down as the sobs continued to wreck her.

The place was a mess, like a tornado had gone through it. Bella could easily tell Wendy had spent the previous days curled up in the couch and sobbing, the bottles of wine and the bunch of tissuesthat never made it to the overly full trashcan evidence enough.

They fell sat on it and Wendy didn't let go. For all the anger and attitude she was sporting a minute earlier, the sadness was twice as big.

"I just... I don't get it," Wendy whispered, after a handful of minutes had passed. She was curled up on Bell's side, still shaking with silent sobs, "we are- We were happy. Hell, I was so sure he was going to move in with me and then-" she sniffled, wiping angrily at a new batch of tears, "I feel like an idiot."

"You're not an idiot," Bella squeezed her arm, combing her fingers through Wendy's greasy hair, "you're not crazy either. I thought it too, everyone did, that's why- That's why I didn't tell you, Wen. Yeah, I should have, but it was Vin's business and I didn't think, even for a second, he was going to break your heart, otherwise I'd have said something."

"Would you?" Wendy looked up, all pitiful and green eyes welled up with tears, "I don't... I kept thinking of the fact you knew and Jon knew and none of you- I thought I was - I am so. lonely."

"Please don't say that," Bella's voice broke and she moved on the couch, cupping Wendy's face, "hey, look at me. You're not alone, okay? You're not- Don't say that. You have us, you have me- I'm sorry I didn't-"

Wendy nodded, holding a hand in front of her mouth as new tears sprung up and shaking her head as if to shut up her friend. She grabbed a tissue, blowing her nose - which was red and irritated from doing it so many times - and hugged her knees, curling up on a tiny ball.

"He didn't... He didn't break up with me," she said in a little voice, refusing to look at Bella, "well, he did. But he didn't."

Bella frowned, scooting even closer and planting a hand on Wendy's back, "what do you mean?"

"Well, he hid it from me, for starters. And lied, because I asked - Fuck, I asked so many times if something was wrong in the past weeks, when he was looking terrible," Wendy let out a bitter chuckle, deepening her voice to mimic Vin, "no, honey, it's just stress over graduating," she scoffed, "and then he didn't even have the decency of telling me. I had to find it out- He asked me to move there with him."

Bell reeled back, confused, "I don't understand... Then why-"

"He was so fucking- As if I was going to set foot in a fucking conservative town, with a worse residency than the one I have here, just to follow him? As if I haven't spent the last ten years of my life building a life for myself that doesn't make me wanna jump of a bridge?" Wendy shook her head, picking angrily at her nails, "for a man?"

"A man you love," Bella pointed out gently and Wendy glared at her, continuing to pick at her cuticles, some of her fingers already bloodied by all the picking.

"Doesn't matter," she shook her head vehemently, "I'm not moving to some hellscape little town for a guy who doesn't even- Who doesn't even love me," the last part was said in a small strangled tone and Wendy buried her face in her arms, wrapped around her knees, shoulders shaking as she started to cry again.

"Wen, baby, I don't think-" Bella pulled her into a one sided hug, "I know he was an idiot, I know, and you're right he hid things and lied, but I don't think he doesn't love you, Wendy. Vince lights up when you're around-"

"Shut up," Wendy's sobbed, "please stop."

Bella snapped her mouth shut, rubbing her friend's back and trying to figure what to do. She didn't think, even for a second that Vince didn't love Wendy. Clearly he was an idiot, but she had seen the way he looked at the other woman, as if she had invented the lamp. Those dumb, boyish smiles that only a man who's head over heels can produce.

However, Wendy wasn't dumb and Bell had no delusion that she was. If she didn't want to hear it, then she didn't want to hear it.

"What do you need?" Bella pressed a kiss to her friend's head, squeezing her closer, "talk with me, Wen."

"I need-" Wendy sniffled, voice thick with tears, "I need you to have my back and not let me ruin my life because I'm in love with him- I need you to be on my corner, because- Because I'm really not and it's breaking my heart to try and be-be mature and ra-rational... I need you to tell me I'm doing the right thing, Bella, because if I give in I'm going to be unhappy, but that's all I wanna do right now."

Finally making some sense of the situation, Bella nodded, pulling Wendy into a tight hug, "hey," she cupped Wendy's face, "if it's meant to be, it's going to be, okay? I'm not gonna let you ruin your life."

Wendy nodded, whole face scrunching up as she fought a sob and threw herself on Bella, "it really feels like I am, right now."

[pa-pa-plasma]

i don't think i'll ever get over how people treat kids that aren't good in school as worthless no matter what. "oh it can't be that bad" my guy idk how to tell you this but the last time i went to a normal high school the principal called me into his office to brag about how he failed me in all of my classes before the semester was even finished & i should quit while i'm ahead cuz i'm too stupid ("officially" diagnosed as such by a school counselor & a psychiatrist!!) to succeed. & this is considered normal

[tiddiesoutwhenthetisout]

not me curling my laptop charger wire the way you curl band equipment cords HAHAHA god i miss it

[lesbianwyllravengard]

Jesus fucking christ I hate the US south

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s1 episode 15 thoughts

oh boy this was a juicy one! after the previous mulder's ex reveal in 01x12, we get scully's ex reveal now! surely this indicates something...

so it starts with a bank robbery where jack and the robber get shot, the robber shot by scully herself. she means business! do not stand in her way!

then we see the jack in the hospital and they give up on trying to revive him, but she says that if they don't try, she'll do it herself. another example of dana scully NOT messing around. many such cases!

and it seems to work! miraculously! as the other fellow dies at the same time and a tattoo is seen leaving his skin!!! you know what that means: it's possession o'clock!

our now dead guy gets his fingers ripped off as possessed jack wants his wedding ring back, which lead me to writing in my notes, "scully you can't serve looks in a morgue" but by golly. she sure did. decorum be damned, she was serving.

when mulder makes a pit stop with scully to the classroom of a biologist at a maryland university, a question formed in my head: how many random faculty members of colleges and universities does mulder have easy contact with? because i feel like this happens A Lot. he must keep a list somewhere.

"the plot thickens," says mulder, upon learning that jack is scully's ex! they dated for a year, and he was her instructor at the academy! now surely that cannot be a thing that is encouraged. the FBI HR department must have been in a tizzy.

(in all honesty though. gross vibes from this man before and after possession. dating students, current or former, is generally frowned upon)

to try and prove that jack is possessed, mulder gets him to sign scully a birthday card, but that leads to a scene where he gives it to her and she pauses for a few seconds before telling him he's two months early.

now, i would have LOVED to be in her head for those few seconds. the "initial confusion -> at least he thought of me? -> hurt he didn't know my birthday -> ohhh this is one of those fox mulder schemes" train of thought must have been a roller coaster.

she thinks it's possible that he genuinely forgot her birthday- she says she even forgot her birthday once (which is Feb 23rd, by the way! a pisces!) because she was studying for her medical exams!

(i expect them to celebrate bountifully in her honor two months after the events of this episode to make up for that lost time!)

this jack fellow is very much possessed and he is VERY demanding to scully. she seems surprised by this, so i don't think he was like that pre-possession, but still, not great vibes off this guy with the whole instructor-student thing.

and then he switches up and kidnaps her. and i'm not sure which was worse: the fact that scully was handcuffed to a radiator, or that she had to sit through the guy who put her there explaining to a woman that he is actually her dead ex in a new body. another moment of great scully suffering.

when the kidnappers let mulder speak to scully, he calls her "dana" again, twice. his concern was showing!!!! i am a sucker for the "only calling someone by their last name to maintain formality until Something Bad Happens and their first name slips out" trope so this was adjacent to christmas for me! (and i eagerly await the first distressed yelling of "fox!")

AND THEN! he says to the kidnapper "listen to me, you lay one hand on Scully and so help me God..." OKAY! so since scully said something along those lines in episode 12, now BOTH of them have threatened to kill whoever hurts the other! <3

(and scully did it first! despite mulder being more outwardly protective! let's psychoanalyze THAT!)

we also witness the FBI agents being mean to mulder when he leaves the room :( spooky mulder the alien guy :( they don't see his vision :( workplace cliques are still a thing in the FBI :(

but he tells everyone that this mission is really important to him so they have to do their best which was. another emotional moment for me!

using a bible salesman as an undercover agent to confirm the kidnapper's identity was so funny. now every single time a missionary comes to my door i'm gonna think of that.

scully tried to get possessed jack to remember their times together in order to snap him out of the possession and he remembers their journey to his parent's cabin :( but he slowly dies due to a lack of insulin and then shoots his former accomplice which puts scully in a very difficult place emotionally. where do you even begin unpacking that?

mulder gives her the watch she had given jack as a birthday present and she notices that it stopped at the exact moment he was being revived, which mulder had earlier suggested was a sign of possession. she asks what it means.

mulder, in his infinite wisdom, waits and says, "it means whatever you want it to mean"

(which, i think, is the right thing to say. how do you tell your coworker that you think her ex was possessed upon the revival she insisted upon? how do you tell scully, who has a strict worldview shaped by science and facts, that someone she loved was lost beyond recognition? that the pain jack inflicted upon her wasn't even done by jack himself? how do you tell her that the man she once loved and spent the winter in a cabin with was gone long before he put a gun to her head, and that their last moments together weren't even genuine?

you don't. you set aside how desperately you want her to see the world as you do, as a place inhabited by unexplained phenomena just waiting to be studied. you tell her, gently, to make of it what she will, let her endlessly spinning mind search for a logical conclusion of her own to find her peace in. just once, you don't tell her you think it was otherworldly, no matter how long you've tried to get her to believe so in the past. you have some compassion, you sense her grief is heavy, and you tell her goodnight instead.)

[fategoflatass]

Let's talk about fanfiction, and all that.

I doubt many remember about this but I used to, albeit not as avidly as I would've liked it, write fanfiction. This, I found, was an amazing way of practicing my writing skills while being able to connect with others who shared my same interests through them.

Well, last time I posted a fanfiction was almost a year ago. After that, it wouldn't take much longer until I just stopped reading fanfiction altogether. I tried getting back to it whenever I really got into a whatever sort of media but, even if my interest lighted up for a couple days, it just wasn't the same.

The point is, I don't think I'll ever go back to writing fanfics. Or, at least, not for a long time. Also, there are times where I see my old writing and, not gonna lie, I kinda cringe lol Not saying I got much better, but I guess there is a difference between being in your late teens and being close to twenty-one.

Due to all these things, I've been considering setting all my fanfiction as anonymous. I don't wish to delete them since I know there are those who enjoy them (some I understand, some I struggle) but, at the same time, a clean restart sure sounds tempting. Yet if I do so, that'd mean I'd no longer get to interact with those who leave comments on them nor would my mornings light up in the rare (yet precious) occasions someone leaves their kudos on my work.

I initially felt like a poll would be the best way to let y'all help me with this, but it just sounds too simplistic? More than needing someone to choose between A and B for me, I think I'm more in need of advice. I don't know, I'm rambling at this point.

If you read this whole thing till the end, thank you so much. Hope you have an amazing day/noon/night and rest/end of your week ♥