#I'm too rational to do that

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

Why is everything in my life pointing to me needing an unethical romance with an older woman

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Why are you running?

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[genericpuff]

There's a user going around currently reblogging/commenting on antiLO content with the intent of "digging up dirt" on people who simply read and enjoy the comic. Basically demanding the OP's of such posts to inform them of any 'stans' so they can add them to a 'list' that they absolutely do not have any good intentions to do with, along with making some very unsavory and completely unwarranted comments about the fans in general (and I don't mean the usual "lmao LO fans are weird/dumb/etc." stuff, I mean genuinely cruel wishes to have the fans of the comic doxxed/harmed/etc.) I have blocked this user for obvious reasons, and if you get a similar reblog or DM like I did from this person, I hope you'll do the same.

Please do not play into this. As much as I and many others talk shit about this dumpster fire of a comic and its questionable if not outright controversial writing and messaging, none of us have any right to go after any of the fans or stans directly. At best that would just be proving to the fans who already hate this part of the fandom that we're boogeymen out to get people, at worst it would be a betrayal to our own integrity as human beings who should be capable of discussing media without turning it into a harassment campaign. Making shitposts about the media and the fandom is fine, discussing the media itself and the creator who made it within our own little spaces of the Internet is ultimately harmless so long as it's managed within reason, but deliberately going out of your way to dig up personal information on innocent people within the fandom for the purpose of ruining their life is not okay and if you ever get to that point where you're trying to rationalize going after people directly, you need to log off.

[astralhope]

Yuma beings Astral's main concern even when Astral himself is in danger.

[pocketgalaxies]

the fun thing about crippling imposter syndrome and ridiculously prolonged delayed gratification is that they do this cool combo move where they invent an especially ominous form of anxiety that is insidious and subliminal but reaches into me through to the tips of my fingers like an evil little poison impossible to ignore but also impossible to detect except in the way my jaw aches in the morning and the way i find myself unironically saying "this is the longest week ever" on a forking monday afternoon

[respectthepetty]

I started to watch Kiseki last week thanks to my dash. My original plan was to bingewatch it after it`s finished if it has a happy ending which might have been wiser. However I am obsessed with Ai Di and Chen Yi. I think it`s interesting that Chen Yi tells Ai Di that they have to be quiet during their first night because Ai Di would get angry if he heard. I am not sure how he wouldn`t recognise Ai Di even if he is drunk because they have always been together but that`s not the point. He clearly cares about Ai Di and doesn`t want to upset him. But how does he know that Ai Di would hear them? Has he heard Ai Di with another man and has he been mad? Even though he calls Ai Di brother at that point he seems awfully upset when Ai Di is with other men and drags him away from them.

Anon, you didn't know this when you sent it, but I am the wrong person to ask.

I'm stressed.

I'm spiraling.

I'm laying in a field of lavender trying to snort the stems in an attempt to chill the fuck out.

All because Kiseki: Dear to Me's finale is so close that I feel it, yet I'm terrified the scene we are all clinging to from the extended trailer is a fake-out, and we are about to be MODC-ed all over again.

If this doesn't make sense to you, GOOD! Stay innocent, anon. Three episodes ago, I was worried about the same thing as you, but here I am on the eve of the eve of the finale, and I can't bring myself to fathom the show will kill someone, even though IT ALREADY KILLED SOMEONE!

But if you do know what I'm writing about, Anon, HOW ARE YOU SO CALM RIGHT NOW?! At least calm enough to send me this ask on the eve of the eve of the finale?! How is Laws of Attraction the only show to know the value of a bulletproof vest unlike all these mafia BLs WHERE IT SHOULD BE A GIVEN?!

And you're just as cool as a caterpillar on a leaf. I'm the caterpillar in the cocoon dissolving into liquid mush freaking the fuck out about death and bulletproof vests, while you are munching on the good bits of this story. Teach. Me. Your. Ways. I'm over here praying to all the santos about a FICTIONAL CHARACTER! My ancestors are judging me right now. So is God.

So due to divine shade, I'll try to answer your question - Chen Yi admitted he was always jealous of Eddie being with other people which is why he was dragging Eddie's ass out of places, (so I can't imagine him being on your level of chill if he heard Eddie having sex with someone else), but Chen Yi didn't realize that it was jealously and possessiveness until Eddie was . . .

Until Eddie WASN'T THERE!

See, I'm already detouring again! Because what will Eddie do if Chen Yi ISN'T THERE?!

I don't care if this chick is Zhang Teng's sister avenging his death or just has a crush on Baker Boy. She is the sole female character, and as a feminist who supports female wrongs, if she is the shooter, Mortal Kombat "FINISH HER ASS"

I support the gays, the goths, and the girls, but in the words of a woman who got it, Jane Austen,

Had not my feelings decided against you, sus high school girlie— had they been indifferent, or had they even been favorable, do you think that any consideration would tempt me to accept the woman who has been the means of ruining, perhaps forever, the happiness of a most beloved menace?

She better have really gone to the dumpster to throw that glass she just conveniently broke and helps step in to save Chen Yi when she witnesses the shooting because if not . . .

"FUCK"

[crownedwille]

I've come to the conclusion that loving young royals doesn't mean I can't be critical about it, maybe especially bc I love the show so much I have such strong feelings about it, good and bad and I can love parts of canon and agree with it and appreciate it but I don't have to love it all. I have accepted that it's okay if I don't accept the ending and I don't have to force myself to support it. It's okay to not agree with all of canon and it's okay to not side with all of the creators' intentions/views. Loving a show doesn't mean you have to take everything the writers say on face value and that's the only version that is allowed to exist. Canon isn't everything and fandom is about curating your own experience that makes you happy and not miserable. You don't have to dismiss canon in every aspect and ignore it entirely, that's certainly not what I want but there is a fine line between being canon respectful, allowing some parts to exist and sometimes, yes, you just have to say "fuck canon" and move on for your own sanity and wellbeing

[tiddiesoutwhenthetisout]

not me curling my laptop charger wire the way you curl band equipment cords HAHAHA god i miss it

[lesbianwyllravengard]

Jesus fucking christ I hate the US south

[reraen]

Ok that one iconic qifrey chapter illustration but with Gouenji or Hiroto come on ina11 artists show up

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s1 episode 15 "lazarus" thoughts

oh boy this was a juicy one! after the previous mulder's ex reveal in 01x12, we get scully's ex reveal now! surely this indicates something...

so it starts with a bank robbery where jack and the robber get shot, the robber shot by scully herself. she means business! do not stand in her way!

then we see the jack in the hospital and they give up on trying to revive him, but she says that if they don't try, she'll do it herself. another example of dana scully NOT messing around. many such cases!

and it seems to work! miraculously! as the other fellow dies at the same time and a tattoo is seen leaving his skin!!! you know what that means: it's possession o'clock!

our now dead guy gets his fingers ripped off as possessed jack wants his wedding ring back, which lead me to writing in my notes, "scully you can't serve looks in a morgue" but by golly. she sure did. decorum be damned, she was serving.

when mulder makes a pit stop with scully to the classroom of a biologist at a maryland university, a question formed in my head: how many random faculty members of colleges and universities does mulder have easy contact with? because i feel like this happens A Lot. he must keep a list somewhere.

"the plot thickens," says mulder, upon learning that jack is scully's ex! they dated for a year, and he was her instructor at the academy! now surely that cannot be a thing that is encouraged. the FBI HR department must have been in a tizzy.

(in all honesty though. gross vibes from this man before and after possession. dating students, current or former, is generally frowned upon)

to try and prove that jack is possessed, mulder gets him to sign scully a birthday card, but that leads to a scene where he gives it to her and she pauses for a few seconds before telling him he's two months early.

now, i would have LOVED to be in her head for those few seconds. the "initial confusion -> at least he thought of me? -> hurt he didn't know my birthday -> ohhh this is one of those fox mulder schemes" train of thought must have been a roller coaster.

she thinks it's possible that he genuinely forgot her birthday- she says she even forgot her birthday once (which is Feb 23rd, by the way! a pisces!) because she was studying for her medical exams!

(i expect them to celebrate bountifully in her honor two months after the events of this episode to make up for that lost time!)

this jack fellow is very much possessed and he is VERY demanding to scully. she seems surprised by this, so i don't think he was like that pre-possession, but still, not great vibes off this guy with the whole instructor-student thing.

and then he switches up and kidnaps her. and i'm not sure which was worse: the fact that scully was handcuffed to a radiator, or that she had to sit through the guy who put her there explaining to a woman that he is actually her dead ex in a new body. another moment of great scully suffering.

when the kidnappers let mulder speak to scully, he calls her "dana" again, twice. his concern was showing!!!! i am a sucker for the "only calling someone by their last name to maintain formality until Something Bad Happens and their first name slips out" trope so this was adjacent to christmas for me! (and i eagerly await the first distressed yelling of "fox!")

AND THEN! he says to the kidnapper "listen to me, you lay one hand on Scully and so help me God..." OKAY! so since scully said something along those lines in episode 12, now BOTH of them have threatened to kill whoever hurts the other! <3

(and scully did it first! despite mulder being more outwardly protective! let's psychoanalyze THAT!)

we also witness the FBI agents being mean to mulder when he leaves the room :( spooky mulder the alien guy :( they don't see his vision :( workplace cliques are still a thing in the FBI :(

but he tells everyone that this mission is really important to him so they have to do their best which was. another emotional moment for me!

using a bible salesman as an undercover agent to confirm the kidnapper's identity was so funny. now every single time a missionary comes to my door i'm gonna think of that.

scully tried to get possessed jack to remember their times together in order to snap him out of the possession and he remembers their journey to his parent's cabin :( but he slowly dies due to a lack of insulin and then shoots his former accomplice which puts scully in a very difficult place emotionally. where do you even begin unpacking that?

mulder gives her the watch she had given jack as a birthday present and she notices that it stopped at the exact moment he was being revived, which mulder had earlier suggested was a sign of possession. she asks what it means.

mulder, in his infinite wisdom, waits and says, "it means whatever you want it to mean"

(which, i think, is the right thing to say. how do you tell your coworker that you think her ex was possessed upon the revival she insisted upon? how do you tell scully, who has a strict worldview shaped by science and facts, that someone she loved was lost beyond recognition? that the pain jack inflicted upon her wasn't even done by jack himself? how do you tell her that the man she once loved and spent the winter in a cabin with was gone long before he put a gun to her head, and that their last moments together weren't even genuine?

you don't. you set aside how desperately you want her to see the world as you do, as a place inhabited by unexplained phenomena just waiting to be studied. you tell her, gently, to make of it what she will, let her endlessly spinning mind search for a logical conclusion of her own to find her peace in. just once, you don't tell her you think it was otherworldly, no matter how long you've tried to get her to believe so in the past. you have some compassion, you sense her grief is heavy, and you tell her goodnight instead.)

[fategoflatass]

Let's talk about fanfiction, and all that.

I doubt many remember about this but I used to, albeit not as avidly as I would've liked it, write fanfiction. This, I found, was an amazing way of practicing my writing skills while being able to connect with others who shared my same interests through them.

Well, last time I posted a fanfiction was almost a year ago. After that, it wouldn't take much longer until I just stopped reading fanfiction altogether. I tried getting back to it whenever I really got into a whatever sort of media but, even if my interest lighted up for a couple days, it just wasn't the same.

The point is, I don't think I'll ever go back to writing fanfics. Or, at least, not for a long time. Also, there are times where I see my old writing and, not gonna lie, I kinda cringe lol Not saying I got much better, but I guess there is a difference between being in your late teens and being close to twenty-one.

Due to all these things, I've been considering setting all my fanfiction as anonymous. I don't wish to delete them since I know there are those who enjoy them (some I understand, some I struggle) but, at the same time, a clean restart sure sounds tempting. Yet if I do so, that'd mean I'd no longer get to interact with those who leave comments on them nor would my mornings light up in the rare (yet precious) occasions someone leaves their kudos on my work.

I initially felt like a poll would be the best way to let y'all help me with this, but it just sounds too simplistic? More than needing someone to choose between A and B for me, I think I'm more in need of advice. I don't know, I'm rambling at this point.

If you read this whole thing till the end, thank you so much. Hope you have an amazing day/noon/night and rest/end of your week ♥

[alullinchaos]

crying about switching to a new phone because I have to wipe my old one so that it can be traded in and I don't want to give it up and I didn't even get asked if I wanted to give it up and I think I should've told them I didn't want to switch to a different phone but it didn't even occur to me that it was an option

[keeps-ache]

mm i Neeed to go the beach

[seafoam-taide]

I have worked so hard to eliminate the 'I will never be so talented and good at art' response to seeing something cool out of my brain for like years now and I'm so so so much better about it than I used to be 2 or so years ago but it is not completely eradicated and may fully never be and at this point I'm just mad about it. Everytime it happens now I mean the feeling is still there I still experience the yucky feeling but I'm also a bit like this shit again ? I don't Want to be feeling it I just still am and it's bullshit.

[psychopomp-namine]

I actually have a fic idea but lc is a show that's like. you will never ever have all the information and context until the end. and I am a writer who writes best and more confidently when I have all the info and context at my fingertips. so now I'm just like 🧍‍♂️

anyway. ramble in the tags