#I'm the bitch that you created
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They put something in Pacific Rim that makes it grow on your brain like a beautiful luminescent hive-minded fungus you can't stop thinking about even if you didn't really like the movie itself that much, and that something is Charlie Day
#and love#pacific rim#charlie day#also that other funky scientist bitch burn i love you#i can't get it out of my head i can't it's been years#i don't even like it the hours of robot fights are boring but the characters the concept are incredible#and charlie day top 10 looks#and everyone go read the most beautiful incredible well written plot+character driven fic in the world from out the ocean risen by bluestar#it takes everything that's good about the movie and expands on or works with it so naturally#and it's amazing#acts as a brilliant sequel to the first movie as there is no war in ba sing se voice there is no sequel to pacific rim#also i respect Guillermo d*l toro alot tbh like i'm not huge fan of his movies personally but i appreciate all the ways in which he creates
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Emer ingen Forgaill did not tell a guy her father was trying to force her to marry "lol I want to marry Cú Chulainn, I will always want to marry Cú Chulainn, and also he could beat you up" for me to constantly see "have you considered the women in the Middle Ages who LIKED arranged marriages" -- like there's room for nuance, especially re: literature VS reality, as well as the way it's generally treated by the protagonist as being shocking (I remember a particularly egregious example in a book about Juana of Castille), but also...like...there's a reason chivalric romances exist in the form they do.
#and again i think there's a lot of nuance#and i absolutely KNOW I'm being a bitch#but also...even historically...there was a lot of focus on Bad Arranged Marriages and clever girls who escaped it#because...that created conflict#see: first branch of the mabinogi#if you don't know medieval lit...you can't accurately say what is and isn't being portrayed accurately#because...that isn't where your training is#the MENTALITY is often portrayed wrong but not the distaste per se#(though even in the Mabinogi you have women who have a diverse range of reactions to their relationships)
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Thanos is probably lucky that Deadpool join the MCU a lot later because if he joined any sooner he would probably fuck around with Thanos and make him kill himself from the sheer amount of annoyance hes getting
#Thanos: “I'm going to kill 50% of humanity so they can not ran out of resources”#Deadpool: “can't you just use the stones to create more resources u little raisin cookie bitch”#mcu#marvel#marvel cinematic universe#deadpool#wade wilson#thanos#marvel mcu#avengers infinity war
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No more fanfiction
Hey loves,
I just wanted to chat with you about a new direction I'm taking in my career.
My recent trip made me rethink a lot of things. It made me realize how short life is and how much time I've “lost” due to mental health struggles. My mind was my number #1 enemy, but not anymore. Now I'm determined to pursue my dreams unapologetically.
My biggest dream is to create a lasting legacy. I want to leave behind tons of content with the female gaze, portraying men as objects of desire rather than just women. It might seem like a silly dream compared to other, more grandiose ones, but I never had access to a lot of content like that. I always felt starved, scavenging the internet for scraps, especially when it came to submissive men. While I've found solace in the writing world, which flourishes with the female gaze, it’s still not enough. Men are just too gorgeous not to be appreciated in other forms of art. I want to live in a world where women have access to quality female gaze content and don’t have to resort to the male gaze if they don’t wish to. That means no faceless dudes, no showing only the woman’s body, and no men so ugly that could make a freight train take a dirt road. Enough.
To turn this dream into reality, I started to think. I could continue with writing, but as you guys can see from the number of words in The Muse and the time it took me to write it (6 fucking years), it would take too long. As the old saying goes, ars longa, vita brevis. Art takes a long time, and life is short. And I, my darlings, have a mission.
Because I love writing too much, I need something that limits the amount I can write. I thought about making videos, but it took out a large portion of the writing part, and it left me unsatisfied. After a lot of thought, I realized that video games can be the solution. They have visual elements, so I don’t need/can’t rely so heavily on my writing; I love games, I play them every day; and I can count on my fingers the number of adult games for women, meaning we need more. A lot more.
Like our himbo icon Kronk says, oh yeah, it’s all coming together.
So I'm excited to announce that I'll be creating games – fangames at first – that mix the interactive side of games and the smut from fanfiction. The SFW version of the games will be free, and the NSFW version and other perks can be accessed through my (freshly launched!) Patreon. There you'll have the power to vote for the next character featured in the games, access work-in-progress pictures and animations, see my writing process, and more. I’m still figuring things out, but I’m super hyped for this!
Currently, I’m working on the very first game of this legacy, called My Assassin Bodyguard. Yes, I transformed the Toji video/fanfic idea that I posted before into a game. You can play the demo now on itch.io!! You don't even have to download woooo!! The game may seem really basic as I get a hang of things and learn new software, but with time we’ll make improvements, such as adding different player characters, a smut gallery, and voice acting (!!!). Anything to make the experience the best it can be.
For those of you who are mostly here for my writing, don’t despair. My writing will still be alive, just in a different medium that needs me right now. I hope you understand. Thank you for your support all these years, for being here through it all. I'd be thrilled for you to join me on this new journey and help me bring this dream to life, together.
So here's the link to Patreon! (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝) I hope to see you there! But if you can’t, I’ll still post updates here and you can always play the games on itch for free. After this dream is accomplished, my next mission will be to write books. Maybe I’ll do it along the way. We’ll see. Life’s full of surprises after all, and that’s the beauty of it. Let's enjoy it the best we can ♡
With love,
Khywae
TL;DR: Life's too short, I write too much and too slow, and I've got a ton of content to create to make my dream happen. So I'm switching to game development for now. I'd love for you to join me on this journey to make this dream a reality. Thank you for everything, love you.
P.S.:
About the Lore
I was so excited about this that I created a little world. Based on the two iconic fanfiction terms —ship and canon—, and my love for Pirate AUs, I came up with a world where we sail across the ocean, collecting ingredients to craft Tapes that connect us with different Alternate Universes. It’s basically a Witch-Pirates-‘90s nostalgia mix. I've got plans to flesh it out even more over time, like adding some decorations, some hot pirates... Important stuff, you know?
Here's the boat in its simplest form, to symbolize that our journey is just starting:
#personal#sorry if I gave you a heart attack with the title#but you guys should know by now that i'm a dramatic bitch#i'd also love to create a discord server so we can vibe but i'm shit at that. will take me a while to learn
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Hello, it is Monday my dudes.
*AHHHHHHHHHHGGGHH!*
#the glass scientists#glass scientists#Henry...you dumb bitch. I'm not looking forward to what stupid idea you've created.#can't you just like...hide out in the basement for a week or so? You spent like 15 years in a closet so a basement should be nothing.
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...
#“where xyz shippers are” bitch where are YOU#not for lack of creating stuff this time but idk#maybe i'm a whiny lil shit but when ppl complain about the lack of stuff for a ship and i have fics for said ship they don't have read--#idk it makes me feel fucking awful#like i get it ppl are selective but they could. not phrase it like that.#especially if it's for an event they made (it's not in this case but it was not so long ago)#in the end i write for me & my closest circle mainly#but boi reading that kinda stuff is like??? yeah taken. for fucking granted. as a fucking joke#etc
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drawing my bf's character in a super girly outfit because i fucking hate them both!!! HEHRHERHEGREHEGEHH
#talking trash#his character is like. why the curse BITCH exists#LIKE DAAAMMMMNNNNN#AND THIS MF COULD BE SO GOOD>:(#BUT HE FUCKING CHOSE TO BE A MOTHER FU-#if he see this i will be dead#yk what fuck off i will continue this#this BITCHASS is a fucking bug bro. BITCH HE LITERALLY HAS ANTENNAS#WHY'S HE BAD😭😭😭😭😭😭#AND THIS MF HAS A DAUGHTER THAT I FUCKING CREATED#<- and it get worse when i remember that MY creatiion has a dad and me not LMAOO#EVERYTIME. LOOK LOOL#EVERYTIME HE MAKE SOMETHING#IT'S BECAUSE HE'S THINKING JUST ABOUT HIMSELF#THIS BITCH DON'T GAF TO OTHER PEOPLE🦅🦅💥💥💥💥💥#SO YES#I'M GONNA MAKE HIM IN EVERY OUTFIT AND CLOTHES THAT EXIST#BECAUSE I CAN AND HIS STYLE IS A SHIT-#BRO JUST WEAR BLACK😭😭😭😭😭#EVERYTIME I SEE HIM HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S GOING ON A FUNERAL#LIKE WHAT-#anyway if you read all of this i'm going to kiss ur forehead i SWEAARRRR#also i'm stupid hehe
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speaking of bsol through speaking of xmas xtrav that like i'm so augh god hand over heart falling over (just like the bloodsong b/c it's the like conclusion of being Overwhelmed By Artistic Effect that then in the ideal version you may as well die) at the thought of the finale where you have the main plot conclude as that Story w/those Themes like ah but even then, the influence, the other the musicians now, that this whole time like yeah you have to do it even if you just keep building or die or were thwarted even prior to that b/c you didn't know you wouldn't be....but that then just like in the opening song Outlaw or sort of distillation of the theme abt being someone making art Last On Land or that at other points other characters have emerged as not really their characters not really a greek chorus but elements of the story helping to Tell It, here's Everyone again for the friendship song altogether & each with an instrument & like not even able to see it but pics & imagining & the enthusiasm & the Thematic Resonance like this is when you are pursuing these pursuits together like _o__ (splayed out facedown emoji) aaauuughhh ;;mm;; bsol finale with everyone showing up playing & singing & dancing the song celebratory finale it's all the Theme when the full cast of Characters had only ever all been together for the one standoff scene at the end & yet obviously We've known them all & everyone is outlaws which is a song like i'm already going sicko mode & this is just the intro, so yknow, The Conclusion, good lord find an iconis musical finale without that place for the celebratory outpouring of enthusiasm right amidst other feelings & situations but Good Lord Here's This in a story that'll always have been all about people's depths & heights & widths & breadths & variations & tumult & all the dimensions, people will have Brought It all over the place & it's like yes leap around together playing & singing this song together which isn't The Story but is such an extension of it b/c bsol has its show within the show quality still infused all in it & if this flurry of Actors Celebrating Outpouring We Put On This Show but still within the show you are seeing as an audience in this venue wouldn't have been part of the original plan with a whole [outside the show within the show] plotline like. embraces bsol holding it so hard my becherished
#bsol#& in true xmas nature yknow like yeah i think of the whole show like wwaaughh think of the baby please come home like Aauuuughhh#think of specific moments within & none of those make me weep but they do make me go omg & woww yayy & clap & cheer & caper & gambol#but what everything has been: all about its central theme & bsol/xmas playing w/& sending up Genre Conventions we all know & thus can be#enough on the same page about so as to then be on the same page abt what's Unexpectedly done w/them but it's not just about#like oh we do this to be Above it b/c it's also done abt genre convention stuff that's enjoyed & interesting to its creator here so#that also as ever the Heart of w/e the genre stuff being messed with is Earnestly Kept & that's what all this is used to express things#with in addition to being able to have fun & explore things that plausibly a completely straightforward recreation type homage couldn't#or couldn't do as well without sacrificing one or the other vs if you're already doing an open like remix playing with exploration; then...#the conclusion of the xmas show isn't yeah i love xmas isn't that cringefail of me. yeah these xmas special media we're working off of#isn't that all so silly & no matter how much i love it it's important to end up Above It. like nobody's here to be above shit good god#soooo much more you can do if you don't have to prioritize That central theme. [you & me; We're superior] undermines Anything Else#while never holding yourself as Apart & Better lets anything else grow & flourish & have the Capacity & Flexibility to be & do whatever#the villain as an emotional reflection of part of the hero / representing a Possible Version of them; not Who They Could Never Be#as Only a force to be overcome with your greater force; though naturally yes the villain creates conflicts & stakes & obstacles#& in these so very genrey xmas bsol situations i'm clapping cheering go also very fun & funny little villain who kills you Gooo#100% this bitch Oh No Not Miserthorpe Krampington Thornwassail Cocodrilo that's right you fucks ahahahaaa >:) die btw#thinking about specific parts of bsol like oh wow oh yay oh this fun turn into this bit oh what a scene what a song wahooo#then overall like lying back reaching up Bloodsong....#thinking of the finale friendship song actors as actors ish characters ish ft. instruments 😭😭😭😭😭😭 (one each)#this mf (gesturing to myself who'll inevitably fire up Outlaw.mp3 at any moment & go Augh the harmonica the harmonies the chorus The This)#also that obviously i get to have a delightful time going well so of course lo cocodrilo is gay; perhaps & trans; &....
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very funny to me when an author doesn't like one of their characters/ships becoming popular in fandom. like I'm so sorry people fell in love with your creation. condolences for the raw talent. i know you wanted to only write your most boring ocs forever king, sucks to suck ig
#gege when i catch you gege#and now i'm hearing asagiri doesn't like skk... shouldn't have had one sniff the other's crotch then maybe#no but mangaka are OBSESSED with creating the most compelling beautiful touching characters and relationships and then.#not writing or drawing them#while giving the dullest son of a bitch you've ever seen on paper a full arc in the spotlight#everyone cares stavro
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"[...] that is, that man everywhere and at all times, whoever he may be, has preferred to act as he chose and not in the least as his reason and advantage dictated. And one may choose what is contrary to one’s own interests, and sometimes one positively ought (that is my idea)."
Stares up at my ceiling dostoevsky I need to have a conversation with you
#lindsay speaks#of course he didn't believe women were equal to man so that would never happen#but. yeah#the only person in the world who can articulate my brain. yes... that makes sense. that makes sense to me!#and yet. everything is still treated so black and white. good and bad. logic and creativity. math and art.#BITCH they overlap.#ain't nobody coming up with mathematical equations like that can be said to not be creative#and for people who use math to create artistic masterpieces#in that same way logic and feeling overlap as well. feelings are logical... they make sense....#when you say you speak from the heart.... still you speak from your brain... there's no heart or head it's the same all logical...#we feel certain ways for certain reasons and there's nothing illogical about that.#i don't understand why. the majority of people live thinking ''well why didn't you do [x]?“#when observing someone else's actions because you think [x] is the reasonable thing to do.#whatever happened. for one factor another [y] was reasonable to the person and you have to accept & work w that#I'm not saying it's always the best decision or even that decisions are untouchable or unquestionable. but rather understand there IS logic#behind every decision you find unreasonable.#remember man's most advantageous advantage.#i think we would be more sympathetic better people if we considered that when faced with something we find weird or cringe or disgusting
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Lotta art frustration for me is knowing I need to practice anatomy and quicker, low-impact sketching more, but I physically can't because I need to be allocating a ton of recovery and rest time to keep injuries manageable.
Consistent struggle of balancing wanting to draw to improve vs having to do what feels like re-learning and warming back up constantly when skills rust due to the prolonged rest.
#it ain't art block I know where the block is and it's my traitor body!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#this aint meant to be a pity party it's just the need to create and hunger to improve just boils in me and it has no outlet#I feel like I'm gonna chew through the drywall sometimes#text#it's why I think I over-rely on the liquify tool for anatomy cleanup because I KNOW things aren't right but I can't consistently practice#to stop it from happening#if any of you fucks are artists and you aren't doing daily stretches I'm going to find you and beat you to death with your own femur#I prommy stretching and strengthening will save you#and when I DO have periods of uninterrupted practice I see improvement in leaps and bounds! I see what I need to do but I'm blocked from it#okie done bitching now I'm normal
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My hot take is that season 4 of the umbrella academy was good actually
#this is how i get cancelled lol#i have literally seen nothing but hate and negativity for it but i just watched the whole thing and i liked it so. fuck me i guess#everyone is a tragedy enjoyer until the tragedy comes and then all the sudden it's not okay for stories to not have happy endings anymore.#anyways you're all entitled to your own opinions but i thought it was solid. satisfying.#they spend the show fighting together to save the world#unknowing that they're causing it's repeated destruction and the answer is to stop fighting? let go together?!#and its part of the tragedy that they're collateral damage. of course it wasn't their fault! did romeo and juliet create the family fued?#you desperately want Reggie and Abigail to be the only ones who are punished because it was their fault the whole thing happened#but idk how to tell you this. the storyteller wants you to be sad so that you understand the consequences of the actions of those at fault.#that's the point#anywayyyy#wait I'm actually not done bitching yet.#saw someone complaining about how creepy five and lila's romance was because Aiden Gallagher is ''barely legal''#and like ohhhh my godddd stop. it is not okay to treat 20 year olds like children who can't make their own decisions. he's 20.#he'll be 21 in like two weeks. he's not a child. if you didn't like that plotline thats fine! just say that!#leave your weird virtue signaling about age gaps out of it#anyway. that's all.#the umbrella academy
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word docs my nemesis
#there are just. So Many. little things you need to look out for#to save yourself the headache when you do the final formatting/create the pdf#and imo word SHOULD clock these in the grammar check but it DOESN'T#so you have to eyeball it#and listen i'm Good but i still have cataracts so LORDY what a minefield#need to find a way to put this on my cv#'this bitch CANNOT see but she'll still clock your edits better than harpercollins'#that's professional#maj has a job for some reason
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going back and forth between tumblr and my rolling cart full of craft supplies (which I am actively using for a Secret Art Project at the moment and also a couple of less secret art projects) as the Gods Fucking Intended
#once i add writing and/or bass practise into the evening rotation it's all over for you bitches (me)#(shhhh i was half in a coma for like a decade and now i'm slowly learning to create and talk to people and have hobbies again ok i know)#the diary
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Why is art so hard sometimes?!
#im going to figure out how to draw this man if it's the last thing I do okay!#and once i do it's over for you bitches (jokingly and lovingly)#we'll come back to this later#i'm going back to what i know#hackle my beloved#toad rambles#billy paul save me with your music#you're not saving me billy!!!#amazing how creating can be so freeing and fun and other times it can be a fucking nightmare lol
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"winston quant billions: like anyone else, an entire universe" or "the good news is it's just that everyone's been terrible to you, the bad news is it's just that everyone's been terrible to you"
#one thing you can do now that billions has an overall conclusion: fight it to the death w/your bare hands & anything within reach#go ''anyway.'' look at taylor mason being in there and out here like wrow....#come get your thee most special little fella on earth created by this series by nonzero layers of happenstance babeyyy#and people will have been terrible to them in general / more than not / perhaps always#meanwhile i'm turnt on album recording amphibian that high note oh my gott#and have been snapping metal in half thinking about orvphil material like hhrrhgh#and in this case have been like ''sure making this coloring Busier and Noisier...'' then been like ''yep'' and continued apace#can't be too much in his cosmos. and also: yolo#winston billions#corned beef#also spent many words for many minutes Just Today going on & on abt [christ the winston material + billions more broadly] in the dms lol#typical sunday....it's truly not Not. the verbosity will simply manifest thusly now and then. s/o to my fellow connoisseur#and now. need nappuccino#oh and also the way the whole universe that is oneself? needs no external acknowledgment abt this; is not deficient or insufficient; etc...#winston deserved to flip tf out & not in a way everyone liked & respected#&/or every day on a simmer just be more of a bitch; cause problems on purpose; etc#meanwhile they just handled his material like ''well you can only ultimately throw him in the trash'' but like welp#he in turn can only be better off removed from [all other characters on this show] lol like team ben / tuk exception maybey....#he already so Arrogantly has any sense of self worth/confidence. and he needs more. More!
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