#whatever happened. for one factor another [y] was reasonable to the person and you have to accept & work w that

[7-oh-ta1]

"[...] that is, that man everywhere and at all times, whoever he may be, has preferred to act as he chose and not in the least as his reason and advantage dictated. And one may choose what is contrary to one’s own interests, and sometimes one positively ought (that is my idea)."

Stares up at my ceiling dostoevsky I need to have a conversation with you

[brooooswriting]

Could you please do a Sam Carpenter x fem reader in scream 6, where the reader takes tara to the frat party and comes back to find sam mad and then sam yells and the reader, but the reader really hates yelling, so the reader gets upset and like starts crying and sam feels really bad and comforts her? If not then it’s totally cool!! 🫶🫶

You for real?

Sam carpenter x reader, Tara carpenter x reader (platonic)

Taking Tara to a frat party might have not been the greatest idea, but there were two factors that made you decide in favor of going. 1. She was gonna go anyway, if you came or not and the 2. She was saved when you were there, so you decided to go against everything that Sam told you and go with the younger carpenter.

It was great actually, you were having fun as you made sure both of you drank responsibly, you were laughing, talking, chatting and the be honest, you haven’t seen Tara this carefree in a while. But at some point you had to leave her alone, even if you didn’t drink a lot of alcohol you still had to pee. Not wanting to leave Tara alone, you searched for Mindy and Anika and left her there.

There was a line to the bathroom, so you were gone for about 20 minutes and when you came back the brunette was gone. Mindy and Anika said that she wanted to get another drink and hurried off before they could say anything. So you started a manhunt for her, walking through the complete house, pushing through tons of people, but nothing. Just as you started to panic Anika called for you, Tara was drunk next to a couple of stairs, some guy laying in front of the stairs and next to him: Sam.

Yeah, this was gonna be your end.

Tara and the rest, you and Sam included, stormed outside where the siblings started fighting while you stood next to them awkwardly waiting for you turn. “Guys” you started causing both of them to snap at you which shut you up. Again, Tara storms off which means it was now your turn:

What were you thinking huh?” Sam started, her voice already raised causing you to stutter. “I-Well- it’s just that” the older woman immediately interrupted you. “You know what, I don’t wanna hear it. You clearly weren’t thinking at all, like always. Jesus, it’s so hard to be with you. You are the reason Tara was in danger tonight, you know what could have happened?” She was now full on screaming at you as she was insulting you, the rest of the group awkwardly standing around watching. “Sam, come on. Listen to me” you started but it was no use. “No, I don’t wanna listen to you. You put my sister in danger because you wanted to party, do you know how selfish that is? God, you’re a bad girlfriend” the screaming was finally to much for you. You mumbled a quick ‘I’m sorry’ before running away. The second Sam turned to take a breath you were gone, only Mindy and Anika seeing you run.

And that’s how you ended up in your apartment, you didn’t go to the lectures you didn’t need to and only left your house when you really really had to. No one of the group had seen you or talked to you since then, not that they didn’t try. All off them constantly calling and texting but you never answered, the fight really took a toll on you.

You’ve always hated yelling, it reminded you of your childhood. It reminded you of how your parents yelled at each other on the daily, day and night. How your mother yelled at you for whatever your sister and father did wrong, it was always your fault and how your father yelled at you at night when he was drunk. It reminded you of how fucked up your life was and how you’ve never been enough, even not for the people who were supposed to love you unconditionally.

And now it reminded you of how you weren’t enough for Sam either.

It was around 1pm when someone knocked on your door. You didn’t move from your position on your couch, even when the knocking got louder. You tried to ignore it until it seemed like the person was gonna knock the door down, “y/n, will you just please open the door” it was Tara’s voice. “Y/n, just open the fucking door before I call the police to break it down” that actually made you open the door, this girl really pulled no stops.

So you slowly opened the door. Tara gasped when she saw you, you got thinner, with dark circles under your eyes. “Oh my god, are you okay?” She asked as she stepped into your apartment while you already sat back on the couch. “M alright” you mumbled. Tara looked at you for a moment, she contemplated if she should keep nagging you about it but she decided against it. It was clear that you didn’t wanna talk about it and needed a friend. That’s what she was here for. “Okay, let’s watch something huh?” She sat next to you, close enough so you could get some comfort. The whole movie you didn’t say a word, she also kept quiet when she saw your teary eyes and the way your head kept sagging down.

“Well, I gotta go. But y/n, please talk to us, get out of your apartment and talk to Sam” she said, hugging you before she left.

“Tara where the fuck were you?” Sam asked as soon as the younger carpenter entered, “I was at y/n’s” she answered as she walked to the kitchen. “And you couldn’t have given me a heads up?” She asked annoyed. “No. But I’ll give you a heads up now. She has a lecture tomorrow from 8-9:30 am. Afterwards you will wait in front of the lecture and you will talk to her” Tara told her sister. “Tara-“ this time it was Sam who got interrupted, “I wanted to go to that party. It was MY decision. She tagged along to make sure I’m safe and not drunk. I got drunk when SHE was on the toilet because I ran away from Mindy and Anika. SHE saved me from 4 guys before you came who tried to touch me. Sam you broke her, I don’t know what you really said but it really broke her” Sam sighed and nodded before going to her room.

The next morning you went to your lecture without a second thought. It was one you couldn’t skip, not again. So you and the girl from the apartment next to you, Kim, went together, she was a nice girl. The last days she came by to bring you food that wasn’t fast food to make sure you were okay, she had met your parents a couple of times already. She knew more than your friend group. “You alright? You haven’t been eaten much huh?” She asked as you walked to campus, “I haven’t been hungry” she hummed as she looked at the ground.

The lecture was boring but it did help you. But that doesn’t mean that you weren’t happy when it was over. Kim laughed about something you just said as she threw her arm around your shoulder but for you the world suddenly moved in slow motion when you saw Sam on the campus. Her brows furrowed when she saw the woman next to you but she made her way towards you nonetheless. “Y/n” she said when you came to a halt in front of her, you only nodded while Kim kinda glared at the woman. “Can I have a moment alone with my girlfriend ?” Sam asked which caused Kim to look at you for approval, you nodded and she left.

“How can I help you?” You asked Sam who was just starting at you, her eyes wandering down your body, it was clear to see that your skinny jeans were now at least one size to big on you. “Let me walk you home, I wanna talk” you looked at her kinda wary as your brows furrowed, “only talking, no screaming” she added which made you nod. You walked next to each other in silence, just walking next to her made your body scream for physical touch but you were to shy to initiate anything. Sam seemed to either think the same or notice as she locked your pinkies together.

When you arrived you settled on to the couch. “What happened y/n?” Sam asked you as she turned to look at you, “nothing. Everything’s alright” you answered, trying to keep your guard up, “it’s not. Stop lying” her voice was more energetic than before, “I’m not lying” you mumbled. “Of course you are. Goddamnit, its always the same with you. You can’t just suddenly stop talking to all of us and lie to us. Just be honest one time” she raised her voice at you, again which made you cower. “Sure, act all scared now. Can’t you just act like a grown adult for once? Im so over this” This time she was full on screaming again which send you into hyperventilation.

Looking back, you believe that this is the moment that Sam finally opened her eyes.

“Y/n?” She called out but you didn’t react as you were to busy trying to calm yourself. She mumbled your name a couple of times before she slowly sat next to you. Unsure of what to do, she just opened her arms. You immediately threw yourself into them, your arms wrapping around her shoulders while hers hugged your waist tightly. The moment she squeezed your waist she gasped, you were scarily thin. “I’m sorry, I said I wouldn’t yell and I did” she mumbled, pressing you to her body to calm your breath. That in combination with her smell did the trick as you slowly started to calm down.

In that moment you hated how at home you felt in her arms, even after she screamed at you while she knew that you hated being yelled at. But you couldn’t change it, she was your person, if you wanted it to be or not.

“I’m so sorry. For screaming and saying all those things I said. I was scared for Tara and my brain went into circuit, I only thought about what could have happened to the two of you at that party but I didn’t think about what didn’t happen because you were there to look öfter her. I should have listened to you afterwards, I was mad and cut you off which was wrong. And you are a great girlfriend, you looked out for Tara as if she was your sister and you’re dealing with my overprotectiveness all the time. I’m so sorry for hurting you” you laid in her arms in silence, you didn’t say a word, unsure of your feelings. The anxiety attack wore you out and you had to fight to keep your eyes open which Sam seemed to notice. “Maybe you should sleep a bit, it looks like you didn’t do that for a while” she mumbled as she laid the two of you down on the couch. “You staying?” You mumbled sleepily, “if you want me to” the way you tightened your arms around her seemed to be answer enough.

This was your first attempt of sleeping since the party where you weren’t haunted by nightmares of your childhood. It was the sleep you needed the last couple of days.

But when you woke up Sam wasn’t under you anymore which made you panic, you shot up from the couch looking around to see her phone on the small table in front of the couch. You smiled lightly when you saw her background, it was a picture of you two at a some stupid party Chad brought you, you were making out while Sam held you up against a wall. Mindy took the picture back then.

The fact that her phone was still there made you calm down a bit. A sudden sound from the kitchen gave you her location as you slowly walked towards the room to find her standing in front of the stove. “What are you doing?” You asked as you stood next to her causing her to jump slightly. “Shit you scared me. I’m making you food, it’s obvious that you haven’t really eaten the last couple of days so you are now!” You only nodded slightly. The way Sam gave you a certain type of comfort even after a fight was so weird to you but at the same time it made you believe that you were meant to be.

You suddenly shuddered next to her causing her to look over, “are you cold? Do you want me to get you a hoodie?” She asked as her left hand rubbed over your arm but you only shook your head before looking between her and her hoodie that laid on the kitchen table. The older woman chuckled before grabbing it and helping you put it on. Her clothing was to big on you which made you look even cuter.

“Here, eat up” she said as she put a plate of your favorite food down in front of you. “Thank you” you mumbled and started picking at your food. The way you still didn’t eat anything made Sam sigh, “look, what can I do to fix this? I hate seeing you like this and I despise the fact that I’m the problem” you looked at her for a moment before finally speaking up. “Am I good enough for you?” The way you asked the question broke her heart, you were more than enough for her and the fact that you thought you weren’t hurt her. “Of course you are. You are the greatest person I know baby. Why would you ask that?” you gave her a teary smile. “Everybody who screamed at me always did it because I wasn’t enough for them” you mumbled out and Sam grabbed your hand. “These people were assholes! You’re more than enough okay? I screamed because I have a short tamper but I will work on that alright? I promise you I’ll be working on that and I’ll try to never scream at you again alright? Plus, you can have all the hoodies you want” you giggled out slightly and nodded before eating your food.

“Should we meet up with the others?” You asked as you stood in front of the bathroom mirror after showering. “No, I want you for myself tonight” Sam smiled as she hugged you from behind, her hair also wet from the shower you just took. “Let’s get to bed. You need sleep” she grabbed your hand and led you away but not before stealing a kiss from you.

You laid in bed cuddled up not even 15 minutes later. “I love you” the brunette mumbled into your hair pressing a kiss there. “I love you too” you smiled before leaning up and kissing her.

[akutasoda]

hi, platonic gallagher with a teen!reader who is a trouble maker and also acts very grown up

typical troubled teen reader who desperately tries to act like an adult

don't wish to grow up

synopsis - gallagher can't help but look out for you when you get in trouble, despite your insistence that you don't need help

includes - gallagher - platonic!

warnings - gn!teenish!reader, fluff, slight crack, angst toward the end, slight spoilers for 2.2 story quest, wc - 1.2k

a/n: man i miss gallagher...

penacony was bustling as always, the atmosphere would've been practically suffocating of he hadn't gotten so used to it. most people were either way to excited or drunk on soulglad to actually care about what was happening outside of their own dream. the bloodhounds were mainly put in place mainly to seem as though thr land of dreams was one of the safest places to be when in reality all they really were was crowd control and occasional maps for those unfamiliar with the area. gallagher could easily ghost past everyone due to these factors, however, unlike most, he wouldn't mind his own business this time - especially when he heard a very familiar voice ring out from nearby.

'it wasn't me! you dogs have the wrong person' gallagher paused in his tracks and let out a long sigh as he rerouted toward the source of the commotion.

two bloodhounds stood infront of you and blocked you from continuing on. it was obvious that one was still new as they kept glancing toward the other with uncertainty and so you decided to add another jab 'do they teach you dogs to stop every passerby? is it to get a bonus by tormenting others?'

luckily, before the more experienced bloodhound could retort, you're saviour arrived. 'move on with you're patrols, i'll take care of this one', the two bloodhounds turned to face gallagher with a look of confusion but whatever issue they had was forgotten and they did as told. gallagher watched as the figures retreated back into the crowd before turning to you with a unimpressed state, you could only offer your best smile in return.

'what did you do this time?' he sighed, wanting to know whatever problem you had planned this time.

'me? i didn't do anything this time! they just stopped me for no reason' you would try and describe the situation to him but you knew he wouldn't care at the end of the day because you'd gotten out of it again - with his help.

sometimes gallagher truly didn't know whether knowing you was a blessing or a curse, especially when he spends alot of time talking you out of trouble with the other bloodhounds. he'd be lying however if he didn't admit that you did have a smart head on your shoulders - mainly due to the fact that you seemed to act beyond your years despite falling into childish, troubling behaviours from time to time.

your first encounter had been not very different from the common occurrence with you, he'd caught you causing issues in the dreamscape and yet someone found himself being lenient on you and letting you go with no consequences - perhaps he may be at fault for encouraging your behaviour in this way. however, in honesty, he could never fault you for your behaviour - no matter how mature you may seem, you were still young deep down and you deserved to act that way.

'fine then, i'll take your word. just tell me what you plan on doing now.' a small part of him knew that he had subconsciously took on the role of looking out for you, but he didn't want to admit that.

'don't quite know yet' you stared at him and he sighed before walking away and signalling for you to follow, to which you did so. after a beat of silence you added 'i don't need you to always be looking out for me you know?'

'is that so?' he hummed, not bothering to properly look at you. you quickly retorted 'yes that is so, im not some kid that can't be left unsupervised for five seconds okay?' and he merely hummed a half hearted agreeance again.

most of the bloodhounds knew who you were, how could they not when you practically had a fun in with some every day? so yes, gallagher would say you needed supervision to make sure you didn't get yourself into some stupid situation but again, you were a kid - maybe not a kid kid but a kid nonetheless. the walk was mostly silent afterwards, you knew nothing you could say could convince him otherwise.

---✩

gallagher sometimes questioned if you got more daring and into trouble more frequently because you knew that he'd be able to weasel you out of the worst consequences. obviously that would mean he is technically encouraging you, something that he didn't exactly want to happen as if the time comes that he isn't around, nobody else would be as willing to bail you out. he's seen plenty to know that he wouldn't want you actually going down that path.

he had also seen your much more mature side, very rarely however, he had to admit that you could act beyond your years. and he didn't know what was worse, you getting into trouble or acting beyond your years - there didn't seem to be a middle ground where you could be yourself. he wasn't exactly an expert on emotions but it wouldn't take much to figure out that you were quite troubled.

---✩

ever since you met gallagher, you'd notice an acute awareness had developed toward these hound statues that you swore had never been around before - what was weirder was the fact that they'd disappear if you got too close, you cant be imagining things right?

contrary to most people's suspicions, you found gallagher rather entertaining to be around - alot of the time he opted to just listening to you ramble on and on with occasional comments or queries. from very early on gallagher had always made a point to ask about your day when he saw you, or just ask how you were in general and always listened to whatever you wanted to talk to him about regardless of whether he actually understood or not.

but you had also noticed how he was also one for talking to you about your behaviour, which was to be expected. whenever he saved you from another bloodhound's interrogation, he would always tell you about not getting into so much trouble. he didn't really care what you had done but he needed you to know that you can't always get into trouble, especially when you have your whole life ahead of you and he won't always be there to bail you out.

he also made it very clear to you, in subtle ways, that you didn't always have to act so grown up, especially around him. you were allowed to act your age and acting so mature all the time wasn't exactly a good thing - you needed to act your age otherwise you'd only miss out on it. although, atleast he could have some comfort in knowing that when he does cease to exist that you would be mature enough to see it through. he also knows that those hound statues will continue to see over your safety because even if it’s imaginary, it has unshakable loyalty.

taglist - @little-miss-chaoss, @frankiesteinn

[omghallucinations]

aries moon

alongside virgo rising this is my white whale of i feel like people get her wrong (also houses especially the 11th, but not the point rn)

i often see, and have in past even thought, "omg felix is an aries moon, weird! not what i would've thought! doesn't make sense!" but yes it does because

an aries moon is a baby that you should not cross*

*how much and why you should not cross the baby is heavily dependent on other chart factors (as is the moon itself, aspects with other planets or houses could make the moon much less obviously aries moon-y)

an aries sun is often A Lot, assertive, jump don't look, full of life, leader, etc (dependent on chart factors) but an aries moon is completely different because. and this might shock you. the sun is not the moon. i know that sounds obvious but when i really thought about what that meant in practice my astro vision changed like i got supersight

your sun is your ego in an earth-sense, your self-expression, it's bright you see its influence bc it's shining on everything, although it's not like. inside of things. it heats things up, it lights or shadows things, it is the force around which everything else rotates, but it's not inside of things. it's a big part of who you are and you both need it to grow and grow towards it (bc the sun isn't necessarily who you always are automatically, we all gotta grow bud)--but it's not what drives or sets off your actions and reactions

your moon is your ego in a soul-sense, what makes you feel safe, your security, ur emotions but like ur therapy emotions the ones that fuck u up or save you or both. those kneejerk subconscious reactions. you feel the moon's influence because it's pulling on the water in your body and making animals and children act up it's specific to you and probably causing a lot of unconscious compulsive behavior

if you are born on idk the 8th of june or the 9th of june or the 10th of june you will have a gemini sun, the degree will change by like 2 max, but there will be like 3 or 4 moons that will be possibilities and within each day you can have dozens of different aspects to the moon. this is what i mean by more specific to you

ur sun is very important, again with the shining and the revolving around, but your moon is the one that's making you act up. she ain't changin much. ur sun evolves with you and you evolve with it, but ur moon... you gotta learn to live and work with her my friend!!

aries is the start of the zodiac. it's the baby. it's so excited to be there and express itself. it's cardinal (action, starting) fire (passion, creation). it's the spark. but while it is pretty logical and easy to understand for the sun to be in a fire sign, lighting up and heating and gravity-ing all around it, well an aries moon is gonna have that spark and fire pulling on their insides.

another metaphor--you know how when a baby or a little kid experiences an emotion or a sensation for the first time and it is clearly insane to them, they can't process it, they have to be soothed right now they're gonna react huge (for a good reason!!! what a crazy thing to experience for the first time and most of them can't talk yet!)--this is aries moon.

instincts, full of life, imagination, searching, discovering. a kind of innocence and brightness. they gotta do stuff. you ever try to make a toddler sit still for an hour? hell no, they're gonna pull on every cabinet door until something happens. they're gonna touch everything in the room. action/starting things/injecting some life in there (whatever that means to each person) is how they feel safe.

some known or likely aries moons:

stray kids felix, ateez jongho, seventeen woozi

bts jin, bts taehyung, blackpink rosé

ok i got tired of finding photos, but also seventeen jun, enhypen jake, daniel radcliffe, mitch marner off hockey, charles leclerc off f1 and more! but do you see what i mean?

there are a lot of things that change the way any moon will express itself, some people's moons are more hidden/shielded and no one has the same aspects/house/etc but fundamentally aries moons all have this need to explore and experience and act and move and do things. this can often express like:

reacting with big startling pure feelings

gotta find meaning and excitement

drive, urgency

brave, almost in an innocent foolhardy way like baby doesn't understand fire hot kind of mood.

really creative (starting fire)

needs praise and enthusiastic acceptance of their unique identity

and also a baby. things seem new to them. they have a little bit of that "baby tries (new food) for the first time" energy in their subconscious and/or their emotions.

some aries moons are new baby (felix) or baby with an old soul (taehyung's moon conjunct his south node gives him how u say le past life memories) but they are all baby you should not cross. maybe u shouldn't cross them because they can actually kill you (jongho) or because someone else will kill you (felix, although i feel like if he applied himself he could also kill you) but either way, just a good plan not to cross them.

i think aries sun (especially since the sun is exalted in aries) is such a powerful character and often obvious in the people who are aries suns (like, blackpink lisa or kiss of life julie) that it makes it easy to mistake aries the sign as just aries sun. moon in aries sun. venus in aries sun. that's why it seems confusing that ateez yeosang is an aries rising--we think of aries rising just as aries sun, but it's very different. does that make sense at all idk

one astrology book i read said that the signs were like ingredients, but the way they're prepared is totally different. so like, if aries is salt, salt in a savory dish comes out very different than salt in chocolate chip cookies. i remember the author saying it was the "danger of cookbook style astrology" and lol what i just did was essentially cookbook style astrology (moon in aries is never just moon in aries, it's moon in aries in house aspected to planets in sign in house, etc) but maybe it still worked for you lmao

[shrinkthisviolet]

7, 23, 35, 43, 65, and 76 [your eyes will need some time (to adjust)] for the fic asks?

7. How do you choose which POV to write from?

Sometimes I just get a sense of “ooh this fic would be best from this person’s POV because they can provide x, y, z”. Other times, it takes a little experimenting to figure out whose POV tells the story best

23. Best writing advice for other writers?

There will always be someone who doesn’t like your fics. They may even make their displeasure known in your comments. Don’t let it get under your skin—just wash it right off and keep going (whether it means deleting the comment, replying in whatever manner you please, or what have you, don’t let their criticisms stick).

Even if you’re the kind of person who asks for constructive criticism on your fics, ignore any comments that are just straight-up criticism—that’s not constructive. And remember that you only need to take the advice that you want—that’s something I always got told in peer review in English. You know your story best! If some advice makes your story better and you wanna take it, great. If some advice runs counter to the story you’re telling, no need to take it. You’re the driver of this car.

35. What is one essential thing to remember when writing a villain?

A few things:

1) Intimidation/menace factor. THIS WILL LOOK DIFFERENT FOR DIFFERENT VILLAINS! Zoom is menacing and intimidating, that’s what makes him a good villain. Savitar is manipulative and sneaky, that’s what makes HIM a good villain. If you try to force a villain character to act in a way that doesn’t suit them, that villain will not be as strong of a character as they could be

2) Masks are a powerful tool, use them sparingly and precisely. Thawne and Zoom are both revealed to us early, and the characters later—this provides some fun dramatic irony for us and allows us to see them unmasked more than the characters do. At the same time, they’re still unmasked early enough to do some great stuff with them out of their suits. Savitar, however, was revealed to us at the same time as the characters…and also far too late to do anything interesting with him besides a couple scenes in 3x22 and most of 3x23 (which I have my own grievances with, but that’s for another post)

3) GIVE THEM COHERENT MOTIVATIONS I cannot stress this enough. Zoom…mostly had this, and the rest was explained away by him being insane (which is lazy, but hey, it worked for them ig). Thawne in s1 and s2 is masterful at this (can’t say the same about later seasons when he seems to lose coherent motivations beyond “wants Barry dead and hates all of Team Flash for no real reason”). SAVITAR is the poster child of incoherent villain. Does he want to kill Iris? Is he resigned to it? The show says: both! KF repeatedly has talks with him that make him seem resigned to it, and he’s smitten with Iris in 3x23…but he was also gleefully kidnapping her and celebrating when he thought she was dead. Also, the fact that he’s Barry means that him being okay with killing Iris makes absolutely no sense (he has enough humanity left in him to still love Iris, 3x23 proves that). If he had a loophole, like reviving her later for himself, that would’ve explained it…but even so, it’s not perfect (that 3x23 scene with Barry and Iris should’ve happened before 3x22 ✋ and that’s a fix-it I’ll write someday)

43. Do you take a sadistic joy in whumping your characters, or are you more the "If you hurt them I would kill everyone and then myself" kind of person?

Somewhere in between 😅 I love whumping them, but only because of the sweet catharsis at the end. I have written Hurt/No Comfort, but I much prefer Hurt/Comfort

65. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

SO excited for 1x15 🥰 I’m not saying why ofc, but you’ll see when I eventually get to that fic.

Ooh and also 1x17! Since Iris is in the loop, it’ll be fun having her in the know during the mayor’s event…and ofc Morgan, who will be benched by Barry [the reason why is a spoiler], will sneak into the event to try and protect Iris. AND Morgan discovers something in this episode…and tension with Team Flash kicks off

And ofc 1x19 will be fun for Bates angst 🥰 and 1x20 will be fun for…other whumpy reasons 👀

I’m also excited for the s3 arc (Savitar & Morgan, I think about you all the time 💞), and some episodes in s2 (2x16 (Eliza, also M&J roommates arc), 2x18 (Barry gives up his speed), 2x19 (Morgan gets kidnapped while trying to do something else), 2x20 (Barry’s “death”), 2x22 (something something Henry Allen), 2x23 (the final fight)—pretty monumental things happening in these episodes)

76. Did you have any ideas that didn’t make the final cut of [your eyes will need some time (to adjust)]?

Ooh I love this question! Honestly if anything it was gonna be shorter. But I really wanted to include his talk with Eowells that planted the “adoption” seed, which is why it was as long as it is. Ooh though I did consider stretching it out more and including more of the start of Barry being parentified, but I figured in the end that ending it with the adoption talk and him meeting Morgan was punchier…and a few little seeds of him being parentified are present anyway (and can be expanded in later fics)

fic writer ask game!

[princesspastel8]

Chapter 45

Third POV

It's been three days. Eboni still shows no signs of waking up any time soon, but she is doing much better - physically speaking. Slenderman has returned from whatever he was doing, quickly punishing Hoodie & Toby for aiding in releasing Jeff. Slenderman was debating on placing Jeff back inside the white room, but considering he saved Eboni-, he'll let it side.

There's a reason why Eboni is so valuable to the faceless creature. She's proven herself countless times as being his next new proxy, but her process still isn't completed. Despite all that has happened, Slenderman thought Eboni would kill the boy - not herself. He miscalculated once again. This is becoming more difficult than he thought it'll be more difficult than all his other proxies recruitments, and Jeff plays a huge factor in it all.

Speaking of the smiling killer, he's been surprisingly calm these past few days. He hardly leaves Eboni's side and doesn't entertain conversations with the other proxies. Many have come to tease and poke at him, but he'd ignore them - eyes never leaving his girl. To say this change in Jeff is quite unsettling is an understatement. Jane & Nina no longer irk him like they used to. Their presence within the mansion means nothing to him anymore. All that matters is Eboni.

Slenderman noticed this and has been using it to his advantage. He'd send Jeff on many missions throughout the night, leaving him with no rest. The faceless male is testing Jeff's limits, wanting to see how much he can take. Most of these missions are him killing more Red Riders members, nothing too difficult- but indeed time-consuming. Because of this, Jeff would ask BEN and EJ to guard Eboni-, not trusting any of the other proxies within the mansion. He won't put it past any of them in regards to hurting the one person he cares for most.

Right now, Jeff is out on another mission, BEN being tasked to watch her, but the gaming demon is knocked out cold - snoring rather loudly. Eboni is still on the medical bed, deep within her mind- surrounded by darkness and painful memories.

Eboni watches the events of her miserable life unfold over and over again, questioning if this is her own personal hell. Well, it's better than living still. She watches her parents' death over and over again, their mangled bodies still haunting her, yet no longer hurting her as much as it used to. Then she'll be forced to watch every moment spent with Alex every time he raped her & and every time he beat her.

Eboni lowers her head to her knees, curling up more into herself. When will this end? This can't be her afterlife. There has to be another step before this. She just wants to die to completely disappear into the very darkness she's stuck in.

"But it's not time yet, sweetie."

That voice. That soft, delicate voice Eboni can never forget. She looks up, seeing her mother wave her memories away for now. Eboni slowly stands, tears building in her eyes. This has to be another trick this hell is trying to pull on her.

Amara, Eboni's mother, laughs loudly - shaking her head. "Sweetie, this isn't hell. And it's not a trick - now, are you gonna just stand there or come hug your mo-"

Eboni jumps into her mother's arms, sobbing loudly onto her as Eboni feels the warmth wrap all around her - the once darkness turning into a white void full of nothing but calmness. Amara smiles softly, holding her daughter tightly in her motherly embrace.

"You've gone through so much....and that's because of us."

"Y-You promised! You and Papa promised to never leave me! You pinky promised!" She cries in such a childlike manner, but Amara nods, having witnessed all the trauma her precious girl has gone through.

"We may have left you physically, but we're still here in spirit - watching over everything, Eboni."

"B-But that doesn't change anything! I needed you two the most a-and you abandoned me!"

"I know, sweetie....and we are so sorry. We never wanted to leave you. It wasn't on purpose. It was just our time to depart."

"But I-I wanted to go with you..."

"It wasn't your time yet. And it's not time now."

Eboni's eyes widen, fearing her mother won't take her with her, so she looks around - trying to find her father. "Where's Papa?"

"I forced him to stay behind. I knew he'd take you with us before your time. There's still things that have to be done, Eboni. Your life has not yet run its course."

"I don't care! I want to go with you! I want to be with you and Papa again! Please take me!"

Amara smiles sadly, slowly pulling away from their hug and placing her hands on her cheeks. "I can't, sweetie. You have others waiting for you."

Eboni shakes her head, sobbing heavily. "N-No...NO! They'll forget about me. They'll move on!"

"But he won't." Amara said sternly, a visual of all that took place while Eboni was out of commission regarding Jeff begins to play in front of them.

Eboni watches in shock, more tears flowing as she shakes her head in disbelief. She refuses to believe anything that's being shown to her. She refuses to believe her mother words. All Eboni wants is to be back with her parents.

"My times up, sweetie. I have to go..." Amara said, tears filling her own eyes as her body begins to fade.

"NO! NO PLEASE MOM DON'T LEAVE ME AGAIN! PLEASE!" Eboni screams, trying to reach out towards her mother.

"Remember what I said, my precious girl. We are always here in spirit, watching over everything you do. I love you, Eboni. Keep fighting, keep living."

And just like that, her mother is gone. Eboni falls to her knees, screaming out in agony. She left her again - left her to fend for herself against this cruel & heartless world. Eboni begins to get swallowed by the overwhelming light, not bothering to fight or trash around. Eboni fades away, having one set goal in mind.

End her life. Not attempt. And make it permanent.

Eboni opens her eyes, body feeling light yet weighing down. She gags, feeling something shoved down her throat. With weak and shaky hands, she grabs the tube and slowly pulls it out of her- gagging harshly in the process. Once done, she tosses it to the ground, slowly sitting up. Eboni notices another tube in her stomach, sighing heavily - at least, this can be unattached. She clips it off, watching it fall beside a chair.

Eboni jumps at the sight of BEN, rolling her eyes at his loud snoring- but notices a scalpel on the medical tray next to her. She reaches for it, grumbling at the IV in her hand. She yanks it off, blood flowing from the wound but doesn't care. She grabs the scalpel and slowly walks to the built-in restroom. Eboni closes the door, locking it behind herself.

She stares into the mirror for a moment, noticing how....clean she looks? Her hair has been washed and neatly braided down to her scalp. Her many self-inflicted cuts that are normally coated in dry blood have almost been cleaned, and whelps left behind. Her nails have been trimmed perfectly, just how she prefers them. And then her clothes. She has on a new bra and panties that she didn't own, a pink set and a hospital gown that's also.....pink.

Jeff did this. He had to. No one else would take this much time in caring for a person in a vegetable like state. But still- she can't believe it, can't bear it. Even after her mother showed her the proof, she doesn't want to face him. She can't face him. Eboni feels so much shame, so much guilt, and so much resentment towards Jeff. So she holds the scalpel to her throat, heavy tears flowing from her face. She needs her parents more than anything.

°°°°○○○○°°°°

Jeff staggers into the mansion, fresh blood coating his hoodie. He goes into the kitchen, washing off his knife before putting it in his back pocket. He pulls his hood down, glancing around the kitchen but not in the mood for food. He wants to see Eboni.

"Off to see sleeping beauty?" Masky muses, walking into the kitchen to make a sandwich.

"Better than going to see a blonde bimbo who's only talent is spreading her legs to anything that walks. Wouldn't be surprised if she fucked a few raccoons- maybe a squirrel or two." The smiling killer bites back, quickly leaving the kitchen and walking up the stairs to his room before Masky can make another comeback.

Jeff punches yet another hole in his wall, rolling his shoulders to shake off the growing rage. He ignores smile dog, stripping out of his clothes and takes a ice cold shower. Once done, he puts on a black muscle shirt and black sweatpants. He dries his hair with the towel, letting it air dry the rest of the way. He walks downstairs, ignoring all proxies that try to make jokes regarding him and Eboni.

Once in EJ's medical wing, he opens the door - eyes nearly bulging out of his head. Eboni's bed is empty. He looks at BEN's sleeping form, pissed once again. He storms over to him and kicks him out of the chair, and grabs his collar. He, of course, punches the Elf look alike and throws him to the ground.

"Wh-What the hell, man!? What crawled up your ass this time!?"

"Where is she!?" Jeff roars, fury in his eyes.

BEN pauses, glances over at Eboni's bed. "Ah....shit- uh-"

Jeff kicks him, not wanting to hear anything else. He glances around the room, noticing a scalpel missing from the medical tray and drops of blood leading to the bathroom. He quickly puts the pieces together and rushes towards the door, one hard throw of his body being enough to push the door off its hinges.

The two pause, eyes locking together. Jeff can feel his heart spring with so much joy at the sight of those homey brown eyes he's been longing to see again. Eboni would say the same about Jeff sapphire orbs, but she has other things on her mind. That's when Jeff glances at the scalpel pressing on her throat, making all joy fade and skin run cold.

"Drop. It." He orders.

"Why should I?.' she asks blankly - eyes fading of light.

"Because I said so, Eboni- now DROP. IT."

"I dont have to listen to you! Not anymore! Not after you left me!" She shouts at him, tears still flowing down her cheeks.

The sight pains Jeff, but he continues. "I got my reasons for that!"

"Oh really? Explain then! Explain what was possibly more important than ME!"

Now, it wouldn't be a good idea to explain his reason, not when she's close to slicing her throat. "Th-That can wait, Eboni... just drop the scalpel prin-"

"NO! NO DON'T CALL ME THAT! I waited...and waited for you. I needed you more than anything. But you left me the first chance you got. I was never good enough, right? I wasn't worth much. You fucked me a few times and got tired. You didn't want me after another guy used me- right? RIGHT!? THAT'S WHY YOU ABANDON ME JUST LIKE MAMA AND PAPA!"

"I'm not your fucking parents Eboni!" Jeff shouts, "Stop fucking comparing me to them! I'm ME!"

"Excatly. Yeah... yeah, you're right. You're not them, but you still left me to suffer at his hands... just like my parents left me to this god forsaken world. They didn't want me to join them - just like how you don't want me. No one does. No one needs me. No one cares about me. I'm just a toy for everyone's fucking enjoyment, and toys break."

Eboni pulls the scalpel back, about to plunge it into her throat - but Jeff jumps toward, his hand getting stabbed instead. He grunts, yanking the scalpel from her hands. He stares down at her, hating the torment and anguish swimming in her beautiful almond shaped eyes.

He hates how her lips trembling and breath hitches due to her sobs. He hates how she cowards in fear, not because of Jeff, but because of the trauma regarding Alex. The smiling killer hates how all of this could've been avoided if he had just stayed. Jeff loathes himself for it.

Slowly, he moves closer- bringing the girl into a tight yet soothing embrace. Eboni can feel her cold body quickly warm up- but she doesn't like it, doesn't deserve it. She squirms in his hold, fighting with the little strength she has.

"No... No! IM DISGUSTING! USED UP! YOU SHOULDN'T TOUCH ME! She screams at him.

"Fuck no. You're going to stand there and listen to all the shit I gotta say....that I should've said." He grumbles, looking down at her- almost smiling at her pouting lips and closed eyes.

"You're right. You weren't my priority. It was killing, and that's what I went to do after you went to sleep. I was so angry at you for not listening...and for me not going with my first thought. I should've told you no to that stupid party. Your gloomy friend told me who that guy was that hurt you. It was someone you trusted. I get it. What happened wasn't your fault. I should've stayed. I knew you needed me, and I still left. It was selfish. I'm selfish. I'm the most fucked up low life here Eboni. You shouldn't feel shame. You're not disgusting. You're....."

He pauses, pulling back to play both his hands on her cheeks, drying her tears with his thumbs. "Everything I didn't know I wanted, didn't know I needed. Yeah... yeah, I hurt you. I broke my promise - all for selfish reasons. You should've been my number one priority from the start, but you are now. I'm...so fucking sorry Eboni. I'm not asking for you to forgive me, but....I want another chance- to make another promise to you."

Eboni's heart swells with joy, eyes looking at Jeff with adoration, admiration, and love. Luna was right. Though Eboni never voiced it, she loves Jeff - always has and always will. The girl places her hands over his, leaning into his touch. ".....what's the promise?" She asks softly, finally calming down.

"To start over. I promise you'll always be my number one over killing. I can't promise that I won't lose my cool- but I'll try to keep it under wraps, for you. I promise I won't leave you - I'll never abandon you again. I mean this shit Eboni, but you gotta promise something too."

"Promise what?" She whispers, her body no longer trembling - his touch warming her far more than she could've imagined.

"Never do this shit again. Never try to leave me like that. Live...in this fucked up world with me and me alone. Make me number one and you'll be my number one. Can you promise that princess?"

Eboni smiles brightly, happy tears leaving her eyes this go around. She takes one hand from her cheek and interlock their fingers together. "Yes, Daddy...I can promise that. Let's pinky promise."

Jeff raises a brow, trying not to laugh. "Are you serious?"

"Yes! Pinky promises are sacred. If you break them, you'll never be forgiven."

Jeff sighs, letting go of his hand and holding his pinky out. As embarrassing and stupid this may be, he'll do it a hundred times over if it means seeing his girl smile like this again. Eboni holds her pinky out, locking theirs together. Her eyes brighten only just a bit, making Jeff's heart flutter again. Yes, it'll take a while for Eboni to heal. They'll always be scars, mental and physical, but he'll stick with her. He'll be her lifeline no matter what, and Eboni will be his. This marks a new chapter for both of them.

"You said we're starting over, right?" Eboni questions softly.

"Yeah?"

"Then maybe we should start with introductions."

"Princess, you can't be ser-"

"Hi, I'm Eboni Brown." She smiles, holding her hand out to shake his.

Jeff can't help but laugh, a joyous one. "Fuck I missed you." He whispers, pulling her close again and holding her face in his hands, he leans closer- asking permission to kiss her.

Eboni gets the message, nodding her head. Jeff grins, lips almost touching. "I'm Jeff. Jeff, the killer."

Their lips lock, hearts filling with joy and stomach full of butterflies- as cliche as that sounds, but its true. The feeling of their lips together feel so foreign. Neither fight for dominance nor wrestle with their tongues. This kiss is gentle - full of compassion, tenderness, and the one unspoken word between the two- love. They love each other. They aren't the type to voice it, but will now show through actions. Jeff deepens the kiss, still refusing to use his tongue. This isn't lust. Its love and he'll show it the best ways he knows how. He promised after all.

Their sweet moment is cut short by the sound of both stomachs growling loudly. The two pull away, both laughing. Jeff moves to gently scoop Eboni into his arms, kissing her forehead.

"Let's get us some food."

When Jeff turns to leave the restroom, he's greeted by a crowd. Some with teasing grins and others with shocked eyes. Eboni shyly hides her face against Jeff's chest, hoping he wouldn't lose his cool right after their promise to each other.

"Move. Now." He said through clenched face.

"Why? The show was just getting good." EJ smirks.

"That shit was better than the crap Jane and Clockwork watch."

"Shove it up your ass ya' glitching freak! You're just as into it as us!" She scoffs, storming away.

"This is unfair! Unacceptable! That pig doesn't deser-" Nina begins, but Jane places a hand over her mouth and drags her away.

The crowd fades out, except for Sally, Laughing Eyeless, Eyeless EJ, and BEN. Jeff huffs, shoving them out the way with his shoulders. He ignores their teasing taunts about his extremely red face. Qicking heading Eboni peeks up, giggling at how red his face got.

"You look like a tomato."

"Shut it, princess."

"Or what?" She smirks, leaning up to kiss his cheeks - a glimpse of that feisty fire & nature returning to her eyes and personality.

Jeff sighs heavily, his face getting redder at the sly look on her face, but smirks back nonetheless Fuck....what is this girl doing to him?

And why does he enjoy it so much?

[taestefully-in-luv]

Our time chapter 4 (The sheer amount of times I’ve had to scream into my pillow to make it through this chapter is kind of ridiculous tbh, but it’s fine. Pure enjoyment 😭🫶🏻):

“You don’t know what it’s uh, what it’s like to live with me so we should probably not jump into that yet.”

I think the above quote confirms my suspicions 😭😭 I don’t even remember that line from my first read through but that’s probably just bc my un-observant reader-brain was like “huh okay *forgets it two seconds later*”. I believe he’s talking about his alcoholism (I’m not saying it’s confirmed bc miss Brinny doesn’t confirm it in the warnings for chapter 6, but yeah)? My guess it that this was the biggest reason why they were rocky even before Nabi or Haru’s kidnapping

Jungkook said something about them (he & Y/N) being together, which further proves that he and his and OC’s parents are hoping they’ll get back together.

Jungkook’s hesitation to get with Y/N physically despite how bad they both want to, makes a lot more sense now, as well. We can assume that he’s more against it because of the fact that they’re divorced and technically not together (plus they haven’t been talking), and not only because he’s worried she’ll get overwhelmed, though I’m sure it’s a factor. I wonder if Jungkook assumed she was overwhelmed about their marriage because he suspected she remembered something relating back to his drinking? Or something along those lines.

Pingsu. Pingsu, Pingsu, Pingsu. This cat is important, for whatever reason. I think, anyway, since he(?)’s one of the only things OC remembers from before the amnesia. Maybe something happened around this time (relating to JK and Y/N’s marriage? Since JK said they had only been married a few years at that point) after JK’s mom got Pingsu that engrained his presence into her mind? That or her brain was like “yeah you love this cat he isn’t a threat all good”, idk.

I wonder if the shadow she (the OC) remembered seeing/ saw by the window in this chapter was the person who kidnapped Haru? Like maybe they scouted out the area before kidnapping him and Y/N remembers something like that? Or, whoever this person was, he was after either JK or Y/N, because of Jungkook’s case. I’m not entirely sure.

I forgot to mention this, but in I think it’s chapter 2, Jungkook mentions how one of Y/N’s favorite animals is the koala, and I’m pretty sure that had something to do with Haru, as well. Maybe his favorite animal was a koala, or he was clingy and that reminded her of koalas.

Pretty much sums up my thoughts this chapter. I have the inkling suspicion I missed something, tbh. I’ve been doing these right after each other, so I might be mushing chapters together in my brain, or I might just miss things because I forgot about them by the end of the chapter.

Again; bad memory lol.

P.s: I really love the way you write your dialogue especially, I don’t think I’ve mentioned it, but you really know how to insert emotion into dialogue and it’s wonderful!

🤍🤍🤍

chapter 4:

1. so that line has multiple purposes :) yes it can be used solely for his fear that she will know he has a problem with drinking and his whole home life is a mess but also, him being nervous because it’s also a lie—because she does know what it’s like she just doesn’t remember

2. yn’s and jungkooks parents (we will meet them soon) all want them together because they hate seeing they’re children cope with the possible death of their own child suffer all by themselves:/ instead of at least leaning on one another

3. yes jungkook is very against doing anything physical with her because of the current circumstances. he struggled and felt weak giving in to her so easily (in his eyes) because he does love her but he also knows how wrong it would be

4. pingu was used to show she does have her memories tucked away in there and how she could remember a cat but not her son—that’ll get touched on more too later

5. the shadow, another mystery like the lake and the boat. unfortunately yn isn’t sure if the shadow was her imagination, a memory or if it happened in that moment

6. it’ll get confirmed later but a pretty good guess so yes 🥰 she will make that realization herself soon too

thank you!!!! dialogue is my favorite part to write so 🥺 <3

[thewickedbohemian]

Animal: silver fox

How I feel: good, I'd just have preferred something with wings (but foxes are cool if I have to be stuck on the damn ground) and unless there's another word for this kind of fox (I don't know if there is but silver fox is what the thing said) cue so many stupid age-related jokes especially as human me is currently in late 20s but looks like I could be finishing high school or starting college (aka the exact opposite of what a silver fox means when it applies to humans)

How often would I turn into one: sometimes, for fun, at least initially until I figure out if there's any practical thing fox-shifting could help me do that I couldn't do as a human (also as I presume stuff like that would carry over between forms my vegetarian ass is immediately shifting back to human if I get hungry in fox form unless I could be convinced that hunting like that was an ethical way to be a carnivore)

How open would I be: seeing as this scenario means everyone is granted the animal-shifting abilities (into different kinds of animals not just foxes) presumably once society settled down from the inevitable clusterfuck the initial revelation-of-change-ability-and-fallout-from-such would create presumably there would be rules regarding official disclosure (as even though changes wouldn't be involuntary people would still need accommodations and stuff). But apart from whichever entities would need to know for getting-around-in-life purposes I'd probably only tell the people I was closest with unless they had a genuine reason for wanting to know. for e.g. the same reason I don't reveal my sexuality to everyone I'm more-than-acquaintances with

Would I seek out other foxes: I wouldn't be jumping at the chance to because thank you overprotective parents for making me afraid to join any new communities like that irl or online (and to some degree there'd probably be shit I should stay away from like if multiple colors of fox are shifter-form options there'd be people trying to start fights with other colors and make that a whole thing) but I would have a desire to connect with other foxes for things like trying to figure out the common factors (as if in-universe it wouldn't just be this generator making it happen there must be some kind of determinant of who becomes what so what is it, y'know, is it like Grimm and working off symbolism/personality-traits (as people I know who watch Grimm have compared me to Rosalee before)) or sharing advice on what the heck are the practical uses of becoming a fox or neurodivergent ones commiserating on how to deal with that intersection etc. etc.

Also, me being my pop-culture-nerd-y self putting way too much thought into things wonders how this would affect entertainment e.g. as obviously whatever cosmic event would have in-universe made this happen would have to also have happened in the universe of any otherwise-realistic-fiction TV show that's otherwise assumed to take place in what's essentially our universe so you'd have not just all the ways that would affect plots (imagine all the additional wrinkles this would add to crime shows) but, like, the potential that the animal forms some actors gained would be deemed inappropriate for their character if the writers couldn't find a way to work it in (like some badass action hero being a mouse or some kind of songbird) so they'd need to hire someone else to act in animal-form to play a much more fitting animal version of the character

I need to run a survey really quick. This isn't serious, but I need people to cooperate and not cheat for the sake of it because it'll skew the results.

Imagine you wake up tomorrow and you realize you (and everyone else in the world) can turn into an animal (And back into a human) at will.

Please go to this link to see what animal it will be for you:

(this is random, and yes, you only get one, no redos)

With this in mind, please reply to the following questions as truthfully as possible based on your current situation. (Not an ideal fantasy one.)

[samble-moved]

so the thing about pmmm wishes is —

everyone says, "well, if i was a magical girl, id wish for x" or "why do the girls wish for x when they could wish for y, which would help more people?".

here's the thing. it's a multifaceted issue, but to break it down, the reasons are:

kyubey targets girls who are actively in distress (in some cases, while they are literally dying) who are not in the right state of mind to think through a wish or its consequences.

it's implied that if a girl were to wish away x bad thing, something would replace it that's just as bad.

kyubey (to my understanding) targets girls who are going through puberty...which can happen as young as 7-9 years old. girls that age aren't going to think through a massive world altering wish.

for one, think about some of the canon contracts seen in pmmm (or, in madoka's case, the times kyubey first attempts contracting her). mami is only approached after being in a car crash that killed both her parents, and the implication is that without kyubey, mami would have also died. due to the situation, mami made a wish without fully thinking it through ("i want to live"). kyoko is approached after her family is going through hard times and quite possibly starving (due to canon hints and her fixation on food and aggression when it's wasted) because of her abusive father's actions. homura is approached after watching her only real friend who ever cared about her die while homura was helpless to do anything. sayaka is approached after her childhood friend has had a breakdown, and after she sees her mentor-figure die right in front of her. kyubey targets madoka after she's in near death situations, when she's in mental or emotional distress and not thinking, and while manipulating her and trying to appeal to her morals and better nature.

and if you want to factor magia record into canon, more suspicious contract situations include kyubey approaching a girl who's about to attempt suicide, a girl whose sister is about to die, a girl being abused and neglected, a child who just accidentally killed her whole family, as well as several other characters who made wishes out of sheer desperation.

let's say you are a child and your younger sister is sick with something like cancer. you are distressed and, at your young age, probably not thinking of "big picture" ideas. and suddenly an alien approaches you, saying you can make any wish. it's not shocking that a young girl (or anyone, really) under stress due to something like that would be more likely to make a wish like "i want my sister to be healthy" and not "i wish cancer was cured/never existed". again, kyubey does not target girls who will make well thought out, well worded wishes. he targets those who will make spur of the moment ones that can be twisted or taken overly literal.

besides that, pmmm has a theme of "if x bad thing is gone, something equally bad may replace it". witches are gone in madoka's universe, but wraiths exist. if a girl wished to cure all forms of cancer, it's entirely possible another disease would suddenly pop up to "replace". remember, one of the in-universe "rules" is whatever hope you get out of something, you also get an equal measure of despair. getting rid of cancer breeds hope, another disease replacing it brings despair.

this is all not counting the age factor. kyubey canonically targets girls young enough to be in elementary school (nagisa, yuma, ui, etc). he does sometimes go after older girls, but only for a given factor of "older". he's not once (iirc?) ever shown to target an adult, who would likely think their wish through more. besides the obvious factors i mentioned (distress/hope despair balance), the age of the girls does little to help the fact that most wishes aren't some big picture thing. a little girl isn't going to be thinking of the ripple effect of her wish, she'll wish for something that affects her personally. and that's not a byproduct of stupidity, just being a child. this is especially true since children are unable to fully understand the consequences of their actions and don't have the fully developed brain and life experience of an adult.

it's all. so annoying to me because people sometimes act so weirdly smug about "that wish is so stupid, i could do better" as if they likely wouldn't wish similar things if they were the same age in the same situation! this isn't even counting the fact that the girls don't know magical girls = somewhat immortal (to a degree) or that the wish costs their soul. so you can't say "mami wishing to live is stupid, she'd live anyways after contracting" because she couldn't have possibly known such a thing. the girls are never told explicitly what happens once they make their wish at all, unless they ask extremely direct questions (and then again, kyubey can always lie wrt things like saying that nobody's ever tried during a witch back into a magical girl to kyoko, because i refuse to believe through millions of years she's the first to think of such a thing). if you're about to die in a house fire, you won't think to question the person saving you, or hesitate in accepting their aid. you'd likely accept the help immediately due to panic and survival instincts. yet people expect these children in similar life or death situations to clearly and logically think through every possible aspect of their wish, as well as any ripple effects or wider impacts of it. that's...not at all how anything works. and it's weird to have some sense of superiority because you, someone in a comfortable situation, who's not a child, who has all the time in the world to consider a wish, who knows the truth about magical girls can make a "better" wish than some middle school age girl who just went through a major trauma and who isn't thinking clearly with zero knowledge of what's to come.

[botanyshitposts]

is that why you think mammals have more than two sexes

idk if this was supposed to be like, a bizarre transphobic jab, but partially, actually. in biology very, very few things actually occur in binary groups; i prefer to imagine biological sex, as well as gender, by imagining two overlapping bell curves. there’s an average that we expect from gender and sex matching up at birth because most people will fall within the first quartile of the curves where all the most average genes were turned on and all the non-genetic factors surrounding that turn out in an average expected way, and there are more people who still are just as male or female but have different genes turned on and off or whatnot and wouldnt check every single box if like, The Chromosome Police showed up and made them do a cheek swab or whatever, and there are people who are intersex, which covers a wide range of different expressions of the genome.

but! we don’t have The Chromosome Police and we don’t need them, because we have gender to do this for us, which is something that has much more to do with a mix of genetic and sociological factors. in my opinion, gender makes it so that even if you’re a cis man who doesnt have like, idk penis gene #435 on the Y chromosome, youre still a man, and even if youre a woman who doesnt have vagina gene #874 turned on, youre still a woman. hell, some people go their entire lives without knowing that they have full extra chromosomes. it just....it just doesnt matter.

to expand on this, my theory is that gender serves the function of convenience more than like, a law or whatever; we have a system where there are usually a small set of things that happen as a result of a wide range of thousands of different things that turn off and on during development, and a lot of different moving parts are going on in that department that help mitigate disaster if one deletes itself or whatever, and not all those things are guaranteed to turn on or off, and as a result we’ve developed a system where regardless of whats in your pants- because anything could be there, honestly, evolution works in systems and as a result doesnt know or care- there’s a social thing that functions differently on another level thats more elastic, so no matter if you’re a woman who was born with one singular penis gene turned on or a woman who had a lot of them turn on, you both can kind of be in the same clump of ‘people who are this’. not ‘people who look like this’ or ‘people who do this thing’ or ‘people who have x combinations of chromosomes’, but ‘people who, for whatever multitude of reasons and results or relationships with themselves, are this way or another way or are existing successfully in some distant combination of ways’, and having those people around- if we follow this theory- apparently was not at all disastrous enough for evolution to pump the breaks and start killing people who never activated Penis And Vagina Gene #1456. in fact, trans people have been around as long as humans have, and that includes nonbinary people, intersex people, and cis people with different gender expressions. ancient societies had us around, there are just as many of us now as there always was, and biology just. it does not care.

think of all the things that go into a person. there is a whole lot of stuff that we do not understand. there are so many things that could change, or differ from individual to individual, and having a lot of moving parts like this with millions of different viable combinations of biological and environmental things works, because it means that the entire system doesnt break like a fucking twig if both a penis and a vagina gene turn on at the same time, or if little grog in the forest grows up hunting mammoths with his 8 moms and no dads in a nomadic tribe in prehistoric france. it also means that even if someone ends up as another combination, they dont immediately collapse into a heap of dust! great system, for the most part.

now, this is all contentious. first of all, this is my own set of theories on why this exists, and second of all i have complex feelings about the science surrounding this itself; as a biologist im fascinated, but as a trans queer person it’s terrifying. the reason this is is because there are two groups of people who want to learn things like this: people who actually want to study the details of human sex and gender, and people who want to find The Ultimate Queer Gene to ‘fix’ us forever, which like. as ive covered before. egregious moral, ethical, and basic human rights reasons aside. not something that actually would improve us as a species even if we did go to the farthest ends of the bell curves i mentioned and manage to transform the entire human race into two massive homogeneous supermale and superfemale groups with only the the most Epic And Extreme big dick and boob genes selected for (or, if were going off TERF logic, femurs of a bizarrely specific length or like, a skull shape or smth, you can see where this goes very quickly).

like. this shit is complicated. it is. sometimes, things in biology- especially when it comes to real people of our own species- are best left as enigmas, you know what im saying. but in the meantime, we can take estimates, we can say ‘we can make an educated guess about the biological sex of a skeleton by looking at their pelvis’, but we cant say ‘all cis women have femurs of exactly x cm, which is absolutely a normal and not creepy thing to obsess over’, and we cant say ‘all human beings are either male or female and that looks one of two ways’, because as we know from intersex people and all the other caveats in this subject, this is not true.

we can say with confidence that most human beings have a gender that matches what is average for their biological sex (which doesnt always define itself as the exact same set of characteristics to begin with) but not always, and most human beings have have a gender which falls vaguely under the umbrella of two vaguely defined existences, but not always, and most women have a femur length between x and x cm long, but women come in all shapes and sizes and therefore it isnt a good way to define what being a living breathing person of a particular circumstance means or looks like, holy shit, etc, and we can use this knowledge to make educated guesses about the world, but we can also use knowledge of what isn’t the majority of people to make educated guesses about what those guesses mean, and what roles they play (and hopefully will get some more rights in the meantime).

so yeah like. most people are one of two biological sexes, but its more complicated than ‘peepis or vagornio’, you feel.

[dreamwritesimagines]

Twisted 20 - The Compass [Spencer Reid x Reader]

A.N.: Thank you so much for your wonderful support my loves! Here’s the next chapter, I hope you will like it as well, and please let me know what you think of it! ❤❤ Ily, kisses! ❤❤❤

Series Masterlist

Warnings: Murder, serial killers, violence, manipulation, mentions of sex, drinking, smoking, blood.

Word Count: 4000

Summary: Coming home can be unpleasant.

After getting a phone call from the FBI, you were now sure of one thing:

Karma really needed another hobby other than messing with you, and this break up was definitely not going the way it was supposed to go.

For starters, people who broke up with each other were not supposed to see each other this much. You had different lives, different social circles, different jobs and somehow universe kept pushing you two in each other’s space.

To make things worse, the last time you talked to Garcia she had offhandedly mentioned Luke dragging Spencer to a nightclub much to his displeasure and introducing him to a friend of his. Naturally, your mind was full of images of Spencer in a happy relationship, eventually moving to a house in the suburbs with her and having kids and all that.  

“I don’t know what Luke is thinking,” Garcia said, “But I’m two seconds away from pulling him aside and giving him a piece of my mind. Reid is obviously still not over you, ambushing him to introduce him to a girl won’t change that.”

Needless to say, you had been in a terrible mood for the last couple of days.

“What’s taking her so long?” you checked your wristwatch and Nolan looked at you over his newspaper.

“Oh she’s talking to the board of the charity auction,” he said, “There are some last minute changes, apparently.”

You heaved a sigh and checked the time again, “I can’t stay for long,” you murmured and Nolan raised his brows.

“Oh? In a hurry?”

“Me and Spencer and…well, some of his team will go by the woods,” you said, “They found some bones near dad’s cabin close to the weekend house and they think it might help me remember where the rest is buried.”

He made a face, “That’s disturbing.”

“Nah, I thought going on a dead body remains hunt with my ex in the woods near one of my childhood trauma places would be romantic,” you deadpanned, “You don’t do that with your exes?”

“Not really?”

“Oh man you’re missing out.”

He let out a chuckle and shook his head, “I take it things haven’t improved on the heartbreak front?”

“I wouldn’t know, apparently his friend is setting him up with someone.”

“Mm, let me guess,” he mused, “Your plan is to do nothing about it?”

“No, I’m actually following your example,” you smiled at him sweetly, “I’ll just wait for decades and hope the girl turns out to be a serial killer.”

He tilted his head. “Touché.”

“Aw thank you,” you pushed at the food in your plate, “No seriously, what can I do? I can’t just go to him and tell him not to date other people. We broke up— I broke up with him.”

“You could explain the reason behind that.”

“I can’t do that.”

He clicked his tongue, “Well then, I suggest you get ready just in case he happens to ask for your help planning his wedding.”

“You’ve been absolutely no help at all Nolan, I appreciate that.”

“I’m offering you my wisdom and you’re not taking it,” he held up his hands, gesturing surrender, “I also suggested to get his superiors to fix a meeting with him to talk to him about certain boundaries and mistakes but…”

“Get his superiors— I’m sorry, what?”

“I play poker with the head of the department he works under.”

“Of course you do.” You sipped your coffee, “When did you suggest that exactly?”

“Oh not to you, to your mother,” he nodded to himself as he saw the look on your face, “Yeah. But then I saw how it could not only damage some professional relationships, but also it’s better to let young people solve their own problems, no matter how easy it is to solve them with an outsider’s influence.”

You pulled your brows together.

“Try again.”

“I asked your mother and she said no.”

“Oh thank God.” You pinched the bridge of your nose, “Yeah no, don’t do that. We’re not in high school, you know?”

“Could’ve fooled me,” he smiled slightly at the scandalized look on your face.

“Whatever,” you waved a hand in the air, “It’s strange that mom said no though. She doesn’t really like him nowadays, and she keeps listing all his….disadvantages whenever I talk about him.”

“Disadvantages?”

“Mm hm. The other day she said it was maybe for the best in the long run, because he’s an FBI agent so considering his paychecks, we would eventually fight about our future children’s tuition fees.”

Nolan thought for a moment, “She does have a point, considering what FBI pays their agents…”

You blinked a couple of times, “Right,” you said, “That’s exactly why I broke up with him. Because who would be paying for our hypothetical future children’s future tuition fees, yeah. Deal breaker, that one.”

“It could be a contributing factor though—“ he started but you heard your mother’s heels approaching and soon enough she walked into the living room and pressed a kiss on your cheek.

“Darling, I’m so sorry to have kept you waiting,” she told you before pecking Nolan on the lips, making him smile, “This whole charity auction, honestly…”

“Do I have to come to that thing?” you looked between them, your brows pulled together in an attempt to make them take pity on you but your mother tilted her head.

“Yes you do.”

“It’s just that…” you heaved a dramatic sigh, “You know, I’m going through a break up—“

“You’ve been going through a break up for more than a month now, you’re not allowed to use that as an excuse.”

“My heart is broken!”

“Good, focus on charity then.”

You rolled your eyes and turned to Nolan, “What’s the real reason she’s dragging me to this?”

“Oh no, I’m not getting caught in this crossfire.”

“Mom?”

She cleared her throat and sipped her coffee, “The other day when I visited Nolan at work, he happened to introduce me to this very handsome Chief Marketing Officer who’s handling—“

“Oh no.”

“Keep in mind that we pay him more than what FBI pays his agents.” Nolan stated, laughing up his sleeve as if he found it hilarious and you scrunched up your nose.

“Nolan, I know you were born in the eighteenth century but that’s actually not a problem we have these days.”

“He’s single,” your mother said as if she wasn’t even listening and you threw your head back, letting out a whine, “He loves dogs and squash—“

“Jesus Christ.”

“Don’t worry, he’s not sitting at our table,” your mother said, “I fixed another surprise for you at our table, and I figured you’d want to keep your options open.”

“Besides, if your ex boyfriend is moving on…” Nolan trailed off and your mother raised her brows.

“Oh, Spencer has a girlfriend now?”

“No!” you said way too loudly and then cleared your throat, “I mean—I don’t care. But I don’t think so, I would’ve heard it.”

“See? More reason for you to meet other people.”

You pouted, “I hate this so much. I can’t believe I’m being dragged into this nonsense only because you guys are making me, this is seriously bullshit…”

“Y/N, do you want some cookies?” Nolan interrupted your grumbling, “One of my assistants brought them from France the other day.”

You scoffed, “How old do you think I—” you paused for a moment, then shrugged your shoulders, “Actually yeah, I’d love some cookies right now.”

                                                  ***

Unfortunately, when you left your mother’s house you had overestimated the traffic and how long it would take you to get there so by the time you had pulled over by the road leading into the woods, you could only see one FBI car. You didn’t have to wonder who was in it when your eyes caught the sight of Spencer leaning against it and your heart skipped a beat.

“Fuck…” you murmured to yourself and considered for a short second to drive away until others got there, but it was too late. Spencer turned his head, saw your car and stopped dead on his tracks so you heaved a sigh and pushed open the door to step outside. You looked around before you pulled yourself up to sit on the hood before you fished your cigarette pack out of your purse.

“You’re early.” Spencer said and you raised your glances to look at him for a second before lighting your cigarette.

“So are you,” you put the lighter back into your purse, “Came by yourself?”

“Luke is talking with the police.”

“Lovely,” you exhaled the smoke and he crossed his arms, looking up at the sky for a moment before stealing a look at you.

You had no idea what to say to him. After that one day of truce, it was like you were back to being enemies and ignoring each other. The fact that he might have been ready to date another person made you feel even worse if it was possible, especially after that phone call between you. He had said that he was a mess just like you were, he had said you had taken a part of him when you left him, and—

You didn’t even know what you hoped for. You knew it wouldn’t change anything, and yet the thought of him being with someone else was more than enough to make you feel like you were falling off a cliff.

Maybe it was just the truce talking. Maybe he didn’t mean any of that.

Your phone vibrating in your purse made you snap out of your thoughts and you looked at the caller I.D., then frowned and answered.

“Hey, I’m a little busy at the moment.”

“On a Sunday?” Lincoln’s voice reached you, “Who’s the workaholic now?”

“Still you Linc,” you said and Spencer’s head shot up, “What’s up?”

“I just called to let you know that they just moved me to your table.”

You pulled your brows, “I’m sorry, what?”

“At the charity auction. My table was 3, they just e-mailed me to say I’ve been moved to 1.”

“Jesus Christ, you’re the surprise?” you asked, pinching the bridge of your nose, “Somebody needs to stop my mother.”

“Hm?”

“Nothing,” you said, “I…That’s great, we’ll sit together then. If you like sulking the whole night, we’ll be just fine.”

“Come on, it could be fun.”

“I doubt that.”

“Hey, at least you’re not alone.”

“I’ll drink throughout that night, you sure you can keep up?”

“Do you even know who you’re talking to, you amateur?”

“Oh it’s on.” You smiled slightly and he chuckled.

“I’ll see you at our table then. With drinks.”

“Yeah, I’ll be there,” you said before you hung up, and put the phone back into your purse before you felt Spencer’s burning gaze on you, so you looked up at him.

“What?” you asked and he scoffed a bitter laugh, shaking his head.

“Nothing.”

“Professor.”

“I didn’t say anything,” he said, his gaze fixed on the woods and you tilted your head.

“Fine.”

He sucked a breath through his clenched teeth, as if trying to decide whether to say anything or not before you could ask again, Luke approached you two, another car pulling over by your car.

“Hey there.” You greeted Luke as you jumped off the hood and he tilted his head.

“Why are you shorter?”

You motioned at your sneakers, “I figured since we’re going into the woods, heels would be a bad idea.”

“Is this the first time I’m seeing you without heels?”

“Probably.”

“Should we get going?”

JJ stole a look at Spencer and you, then turned to Luke, “Actually, do you mind coming with me to the car for a moment? There’s this file I want to get your opinion on.” She nodded at you, “You guys go ahead if you want.”

You pulled your brows together for a second, trying to understand what was happening but then decided you wouldn’t question it and stepped into the woods, a shiver running down your spine.

It looked way too familiar.

You gritted your teeth and started walking, and it didn’t take long for Spencer to catch up with you.

“So I never got to ask you,” you managed to say after almost ten minutes of complete silence, “That…that blood vial in that petal bowl, whose blood was it?”

“Anthony’s.”

“Right,” you murmured as you kept walking, “Was it….was it something my dad did back then?”

“No.” Spencer said curtly and you looked over your shoulder.

“So then what does it—“

“Are you dating other people?” the words left his lips in a hurry as if he didn’t know how to stop them and you stopped dead on your tracks.

“I beg your pardon?”

He opened his mouth for a moment like he was trying to find the right words but then he closed it and shrugged his shoulders.

“Never mind,” he murmured, walking past you and you gawked after him for a while before you rushed after him.

“No, what was that?”

“Nothing.”

Maybe your whole theory about Spencer being a genius therefore not being able to be jealous wasn’t exactly the truth.

“I’m not— is this about Lincoln?” you held up the phone in your hand before you sped up to catch up with his long strides, “There’s this stupid charity auction bullshit and we’re both attending it, that’s it.”

“Alright,” he murmured, still walking and you let out a breath.

“Spencer!”

“What?” he turned around to look at you, that fire burning in his eyes again, “I said never mind, okay?”

“I’m not dating Lincoln!” you exclaimed “And I— even if I were, at least he’s not someone I met at a nightclub my friends forced me to go, unlike some of us.”

“What does that-” he started but it hit him in a second, “Garcia told you.”

“It came up.”

He raised his brows, “Yeah? How?”

“It just did.” You managed to say even if your cheeks were burning, “So what? You’re going to stand there and ask me that when you’re moving on already?”

“I’m not moving on!” he said as if you had just insulted him, “Besides, you broke up with me remember?”

“Yeah and you wasted no time Spencer, congratulations.” You murmured as you walked past him but as soon as your eyes caught the sight of the huge cabin by the small hill, your breath got caught in your throat and you took a step back, the memory flashing through your mind so fast that the headache hit you out of nowhere.

Your father tugged you by your hand through the woods as you yawned, rubbing at your eyes.

“Are you sleepy honey?”

You nodded, looking up at him, 

“Daddy I thought we were going to come here tomorrow, with mom and Mina.” you said as you hugged the huge teddy bear you had brought with you when your father had woken you up and told you that you would be taking a small trip to the cabin.

“We are,” he said, “We will go back home after our hunt is done here.”

“Yeah but mom says Mina and I can’t be outside the cabin at night,” you murmured, “The lake is too close, remember? We might fall in, she says.”

“She’s right, no leaving the cabin by yourself when it’s dark outside,” he said, “Or else no chocolate for a week, you know the rules.”

“Okay, okay…” you yawned again, and your father knelt down so that you could look him in the eye.

“Petal honey, I want you to pay attention,” he said, “Look around. Let’s say you’re in the woods by yourself and you’re hunting. You know how we hunt, right?”

You took a deep breath, “Stab the prey, twist the knife, pull it back and watch them bleed.”

“Very good,” he said, “When you’re hunting in the woods, what’s the first thing you do?”

“Look up at the sky,” you said, “That’s how I know where I am.”

“Good start. How about if your prey is running to get away from you? How do you chase them?”

“People aren’t calm when they’re being hunted,” you repeated what he had told you, “They make noises. I follow that, and wait for them to tire themselves out.”

He nodded, then you both climbed the stairs to the front door of the cabin.

“And what’s the one thing you remember?”

“To stay calm and patient.”

He smiled at you and opened the door to the cabin so that you could see the bloodied person tied to a chair, screaming through the gag.

“Good,” he said, “Let’s go over what we do with the prey, shall we?”

“Y/N!” Spencer’s voice cut through the memory, almost grabbing you and pulling you back to the reality and it was only when you realized you weren’t standing anymore, instead you were on the ground on your knees, gasping for breath.

“I can’t—“ you choked out, pressing a hand over your chest “I—I can’t breathe—“

“Yes you can,” he helped you sit and lean your back to the tree trunk, “You just need to focus on me, alright? Can you breathe with me?”

You sniffled, trying to match your breathing with his and he nodded,

“There you go,” he said with a smile, “You’re doing great. Is it okay if I touch you?”

You nodded your head, still desperate to cling to anything that would protect you from that memory and he entwined his fingers with you.

“Keep your focus on me,” he said as he wiped the teardrop off your cheek with his free hand,  awakening a fire right beneath your cheekbone, “Here’s what we’re going to do, you will inhale when I squeeze your hand, exhale when I stop. Can we do that together?”

You inhaled when you felt his grip tightening around your hand, then exhaled when it became loose again.

“Y/N?”

You let out a shaky breath, “Hm?”

“Why are public proposals so bad?”

A teary laugh escaped from your lips, “Professor…”

“No, I want you to tell me,” he said as you inhaled again when he squeezed your hand, “Why are they so bad?”

“Because they—“ you exhaled, “They’re not private.”

“They could be romantic.”

“But they’re not,” you protested, “They’re not romantic. They’re pretentious.”

“Pretentious?” he squeezed your hand once more and you took another breath.

“If you need an audience for something like that, you’re pretentious yeah.” You said as the nausea slowly retreated and he pushed your hair behind your ear before his knuckles brushed over your neck, it lasted only a moment but it was enough for you.

“Thanks,” you mumbled and he offered you a small smile.

“Anytime.”

“Brings back the memories, huh?” you leaned your head back to the tree trunk and he nodded.

“Yeah,” he murmured, “Yeah it really does.”

You pressed your lips together, “Spencer, why are you helping me?” you asked him, taking him by surprise, “With….all this. I thought you hated me.”

He swallowed thickly,

“I can’t hate you,” his voice was almost a murmur, “I wish I could. Trust me, I tried.”

“Guys?” you heard Luke’s voice and you turned your head to see them approaching, “What’re you—what happened?”

“We’ll meet you there in a second,” Spencer said, shooting JJ a look and she nodded.

“Okay,” she said, “Come on Luke.”

They walked past you to the cabin and you looked up at the sky for a couple of seconds before willing yourself to focus on him again.

“You remembered something,” he said and you nodded.

“A memory,” you managed to say, “I…Spencer, there are dead bodies in there.”

“I know, we found bones in the backyard—“

“No,” you cut him off, “You don’t understand. There are dead bodies in the cabin.”

He pulled his brows together and you pulled your hand out of his before standing up on shaky legs, still holding onto the tree for support.

“Y/N, we can wait-” he said but you shook your head and made your way to the cabin until you reached the stairs. Every cell in your body was screaming at you to run away, but you managed to force yourself to climb the stone stairs and stopped for a moment at the door as Spencer stepped to stand next to you. Everything looked exactly the same as you had left them all those years ago right before your father was arrested.

A shudder went down your spine, the same as the one you had gotten when you woke up in your apartment after being drugged. Something in here was way too dangerous for you and it wouldn’t rest until you were at its mercy so you had to get away before it could dig its claws under your skin, but-

You had to do this. You could do this.

You had been through much worse than this before.

You had survived your father, you had survived his copycats, you had survived everything thrown your way so far, you could survive this as well.

You rolled your shoulders back and stepped into the huge living room, the memory pushing at your mind but you shook your head, forcing yourself to focus.

“We can leave if you want,” Spencer murmured and you dug your fingernails into your palms hard enough to hurt.

There was a reason why police couldn’t find anything in this goddamn place when they first checked. You had repressed the memory just like you had repressed the rest, and now that you were here…

The memories about the cabin were swirling in your head, each more terrifying than other.

“Luke.”

Luke turned his head, “Yeah?”

“Do you mind stepping aside for a moment?” you asked, “Actually, if no one could—if no one could stand on the rug that’d be ideal. Thanks.”

JJ shot you a look but nodded at the two other agents walking around the living room and you slowly approached the magnetic chess board by the coffee table, holding out your hand over the pieces for a second. Panic roared through you but you gritted your teeth and moved the pawn, then put the bishop where your father taught you to put it way back then.

“It’ll be like a treasure hunt, but you need to keep it a secret,” he had told you, “Pinky swear?”

You turned the queen in hand your for a moment, then put it right next to the bishop and the small basement trapdoor which was impossible to see even if someone was looking for it clicked under the rug. Spencer froze for a moment before he and Luke pulled the rug off the floor and pulled open the hatch but the smell coming from downstairs made you cover your mouth.

“Stay here,” Luke told the agents as he went downstairs and Spencer followed him right before JJ did. You stalled there for a moment, trying to repress the fear pinning you to your spot before you stepped closer to the stairs leading down to the secret basement.

“Miss—“ the agent said but you ignored him and made your way down. JJ and Spencer already had their flashlights on as Luke held his gun, ready to pull the trigger at any unexpected movement.

“You can’t be here.” Spencer told you but you weren’t even mood to snap back at him. You dragged your fingertips on the wall until you found the switch and turned the light on, the smell getting worse and worse.

There were three huge boxes by the wall, all tightly shut and you had a feeling—

No, not a feeling. What you had was a memory and you knew exactly what was in them.

Spencer turned to you, apparently ready to tell you to go upstairs again but as soon as his eyes caught something over your shoulder, he froze, his jaw clenching. You could feel your heartbeat getting faster and faster as Luke stopped dead on his tracks.

“Y/N, go upstairs.” Spencer said, his tone way too controlled until you turned your head, “No wait, don’t look—“

But it was too late. The bloodied message on the wall made you gasp as you took a step back, unable to look away as that familiar dread filled you once more, the simple line causing goosebumps to rise on your skin;

Welcome home Petal.

                                 Chapter 21 

[purposelynana]

WHAT DID I WATCH: #26

I watched Love In The Air, made commentary post out of it, and at the last minute decided to delete it because I don't think it deserved to get out there. I consider myself as a rude person but that kind of post will solidify me as the evilest person on earth.

All I can say is that wow I've got so many rants about this. I mean this is downright bad. Not in any campy way, but morally bad way. I want to defend this because there were some parts that just good (ahem, Sky, ahem). But, how could I defend something which challenged me to confront certain stuff. Especially, of how we define rape and consent.

I've been in abusive, gaslighting, victim-blaming kind of relationship. Watching Love in The Air has been an exhausting experience. Not only because it reminded me of some of the bad times that I've had, but also how ridiculous this kind of relationship got resolved in the series.

But then again who the hell am I? I don't even know Mame and why she kept writing this kind of story. I do feel a little bit pity towards her. Is something going on with her personal life and resulting in this form of entertainment?

And the sound mixing is just downright bad. Like I can't comprehend what the hell is going on in the post-production. Probably Mame and her team threw whatever they could salvage from the shoot. I tried so hard to shut my brain off but then nah, it still felt dumb.

In order for me to enjoy this series, I had to throw all of the moral guides I've been taught on. But, we as human, if we lost our principal that means we already cost our humanity and I don't want that. I don't want to be a not-human.

The only thing that I could appreciate from Mame.

Meanwhile, been spending time to watch Big Dragon which is nice surprise in the sea of toxic relationship that get represented on TV. It was nice to see just a jerk meeting jerk. And that's Mame wouldn't understand. I'm not trying to justify rape but at least if you want to include rape into your scene, do it to the equally bad people. God, I think I'm not going to forget Mame's mistakes, am I?

Perhaps one of the strengths of this little pulpy series that rarely got mentioned is how beautiful sometimes dialogues flow between characters. It's so true to the characters and it felt real, not some made-up wattpad-y type of dialogue. Because the very reason why some of adaptations from Y-novel felt flat to me, is they just copied whatever on the paper and not trying to make it believable in today's world.

One of the best dialogue is happened on this very scene. Kinda wish it took a little bit effort from the actors but yeah...

Then, I've been trying to get through episode 6 of Ghost Host Ghost House. (weird choice of title, by the way). Strangely, after the talked about episode 4, it kinda bummed out a bit. I mean, I don't really like watching it for no particular reason. In other language, yes it is boring. For me, it was too fast in pacing. But yeah whatever happened on episode 4, was convinced me to continuing this.

AND LASTLY, THE ONE THAT HAS BEEN INVESTED INTO MY BRAIN LATELY IS...

what the hell, season 2, what the hell.

to me personally, this way better than S1 because its pacing and the acting. oh my god, edvinnnnn!!!!!! my sonnnnnn!!!!!

maybe because i'm so biased to exes-to-lovers kind of trope, that's why i'm so glad. knowing on fiction your gloomy love story could end up having a different outcome if everyone willingly to just fight. not just yourself. story of my life.

it takes losing one another to find each other.

bismillah mantan hayuk.

[saintobio]

“When I hurt my wife, I hurt myself too”

That’s it… ngl I teared up here. I know so many of us are slandering gojo and calling him stupid (in which he rightfully is) but I think a lot us are forgetting that this man grew up not knowing what happiness was and how he could achieve it. Going back to gojo and y/n kissing as babies, even at that young age he never understood the concept of love. Bc he too had a flashback of the loveless life between his father and mother. It wasn’t until sera that he was able to find a lustful type of infatuation. It started from him trying to despise his father, and sadly those were the grounds upon which gojo and sera’s relationship was built upon. It wasn’t built on trust or security, but more so on gojo’s pain and insecurity. It was doomed to fail from the beginning. Whether or not y/n came into the picture, there love story wouldnt not worked out bc gojo has issues within himself that he needs to take care of. And he would never be able to if y/n was in his life. It wasn’t until y/n that his wounds were triggered, and thankfully he’s NOW choosing to see his battles. So, when he was downright honest with sera about his feelings for y/n that really came from a heart of honesty and desperation. He didn’t have to tell sera all that he told her, but he did bc he’s choosing (albeit late) to try and understand what it means to love and depend on someone in a rightful manner. He’s choosing something for himself, not something that another person can inflict a devious upon him like it was for his whole life. Yes, his ways towards y/n are tricky and gray, and yes… he still thinks with his dick in trying to ease his relationship with sex but not really talking about their issue… but his conversation with sera was actually a big step. And I want to give him a thumbs up. Whether or not sera is pregnant, he acknowledges that sera isn’t what he wants nor is she someone that is good for him. I don’t see his feelings for y/n dissipating anytime soon; therefore, I forsee gojo’s heart being hurt more as the story progresses. Ironically, I don’t see sera or naoya or even his step mom being his downfall, it’ll honestly be y/n and he love he carried for her. As of now, y/n “found” out about the supposed pregnancy, despite not knowing if sera is pregnant or not, she is now aware of something within the realms since she saw. So, I’m guessing the biggest heartbreak for her will not be the pregnancy (baby or fake baby) it’ll actually be gojo’s true intention of the marriage. from a realistic point of view, the best and most loving thing gojo can do for y/n WHEN it gets to that point either y/n is too sick or some other reason… is to rightfully let her go and let her thrive and heal. But I don’t see him doing that soon bc he hasn’t gotten to the point of really understanding how much he loves her and needs her, but yet he’s the ones that’s killing her . S2 is going to happen, no one knows what will happen. But one thing for sure is gojo, whatever the outcome of his relationship with y/n or with sera… he will ALWAYS be bound to y/n. again, baby or not… his heart has now found solace to someone new, someone more loving and careful to tend to his heart. Not someone that diminishes and threatens him just like sera does. Seeing how obsessed he was with keeping sera in the beginning, I don’t see him letting of y/n in his heart that easily. I see him trying his hardest to try and keep y/n but I don’t know how much of his trying will ultimately end up benefitting him in the end. I do give him credit that he is a good lover, he just needs to learn to love healthily and be communicative. But how can you know what it means to love zealously if you’ve always grown up in a household that rejected it. For gojo, wverythibg he does is always a losing game and that’s very pitiful. I never really understood the gravity to gojo’s past, but that’s honestly a big factor of why he chose to treat y/n is such a harsh manner but also in such somewhat desperate manner. Sera was never someone he treasured, if she was then he wouldn’t have batted an eye towards y/n, but he did… 🥲

aaaa this is so heart-wrenching and yet comforting to read 😢

[xoxo-teddybear]

Troubled - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: Cursing, Fluff, Kinda Angst(?), Storyline

Summary: Even though the two have been dating for about 2 years, Bakugou never knew about Y/N’s troubling life. With Y/N being lost and needing to find herself again, here’s how he finds out.

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Bakugou and you were so happy. The relationship was incredible. He loved you and you loved him. You were both so loyal to one another, so protective, so honest...sorta. That’s where you faltered a bit. You see, you had a secret.

In the 2 years that you have been together, it was obvious that you’ve already met Bakugou’s parents. However, he never met yours. You told him “they’re really strict. I doubt they want me to be dating so I don’t think it’s best for you to meet them just yet. Don’t worry, they’re awesome! Just overprotective.”

And like the good, loving, trusting boyfriend he is, he believed you! He so badly wanted to change your parents’ minds but he’ll meet them whenever you’re comfortable. He can wait. But it sucks that he could never go over even when there were times where it would just be you and him. Apparently your parents “didn’t allow anyone over while they were away.” Whatever, fair. He still loved you regardless. And besides, you always went over to his house anyway! So everything was fine.

You fed him these lies and kept the truth away from him. In reality, you did have parents. Divorced parents. A loving mother who is sadly always working from early mornings to late nights and a runaway father who eventually got a new family with new kids.

Your father left you. He left you and your mother when you were just 5 years old and you never told anyone. This caused you to be so..angry..and confused..and hurt. Your busy mother was never around to help you cope and so you resorted into actions. You took on this rebellious bad girl persona. Yes you were in the hero course, but you put up a front that displayed you as the rotten apple among the group. You were still lovable and very friendly (a little teasing but still) and people loved you. What they didn’t love was when you went over the top with your bad girl image and even Katsuki got a little peeved at it from time to time.

—

“Your homework assignment: Create a visual or report on the history of Japan’s hero industry. Japan has had a lot of unfair rules when it came to heroes and so it’s your turn to speak on them, who rebelled against them, and tell us something you rebel against. I expect it to be done next week. Don’t forget it...understand L/N?” Aizawa said as he stared you down.

You sat with your legs crossed with your chin in your hand as you blew a strand of hair out of your face. “Yeah, we’ll see how well that goes.” You sarcastically said with a nose scrunch and devious smile.

The bell rang and students began to leave the classroom. You caught up with your boyfriend, Katsuki, who waited for you at the door. You pecked his cheek before you both began walking to the dorms.

“Hey, dumbass,” He called for you.

“Yeah Suki?”

“You are gonna do the assignment right?” He questioned. You chuckled a bit as you looked at him.

“Suki, c’mon. We both know that’ll never happen.” You said with a laugh but Bakugou just looked at you with a concerned face.

“And why not? You know you can do it and you choose not to. For what? You act like they won’t kick you out of UA.” He reminded you.

“Because they won’t. It’s just homework and I make up for it by excelling at everything else,” you said proudly but he wouldn’t budge.

“Okay but first it was skipping class, then it was skipping school, now it’s dropping class and home work. When are you gonna get off this bad streak?” He asked. You felt a little hurt due to the misunderstanding. He truly didn’t understand but that wasn’t his fault. You didn’t say anything so you have no one to blame but yourself.

“Never!” You laughed, “I’ll be fine Katsuki. Besides, you like my bad side. It makes us balanced. You’re the rowdy and rude hidden Angel and I’m the sweet and pretty devil.”

“Heh, so I’m not pretty?” He jokingly asked. You faced him and wrapped your arms around his neck.

“You’re the prettiest,” you joked with him. You both giggled a bit before sharing a sweet kiss for a moment. You both separated and you began to walk hand in hand as you led the way.

“But seriously babe, be cautious. Okay? S’all im asking for. And at least try to do your homework. There’s no reason for you to be acting up like this.” He said but his words stung a bit. He..really...didn’t understand....at all. Your eyes went wide but you minimized them before turning to face him. You grew slightly silent as you stopped walking for a bit and he looked at you with a concerned yet serious face.

“....Um...yeah. Sure. And you’re right Suki. There’s uh.....no reason for this.”

—

After Katsuki walked you home, he kissed you goodbye for now before you walked into your very empty home. You sighed at the quiet and walked to the kitchen to find another note and your dinner placed in tupperware.

‘Hi baby. I’m sorry I’m not home again. I’ll be back later tonight. I have your dinner all set, just heat it up before dining.

Love you, -Mom’

Great. Another empty house for the umpteenth time in a row. You appreciated everything your mom did for the two of you. I mean, she is working 3 jobs to pay for the house and your school. Not to mention, put food on the table. But sometimes you couldn’t help but hate her for being gone so much. You missed her.

You took a shower and changed into some sleeping clothes. You brought your school bag with you to the kitchen and placed it on the seat before heating up your dinner. While waiting, you pulled out your homework.

Listen, it’s not that you didn’t want to do the homework. It’s more so that you couldn’t. You weren’t the smartest student and a lot of the time, you’d need help with the work. In class, it was easier because you had Katsuki but recently he’s been a little busier so you didn’t wanna be a bother. You didn’t wanna ask anyone else and so you resulted into helping yourself in some way. People always told you to confine in the help of your parents but one of them was gone and the other was always busy. There’s no one that could help.

You read the itinerary and came to the conclusion that it was just too hard for you to understand on your own. It would have to be another failed assignment but whatever. It was just one of many. You ate dinner, put away your work and bags and opted to sleep. Just drift away into dreamland where things were better. Where your dad was still a part of your family. Where your mom didn’t struggle in bringing home cash. Where you were a better student and person who did her work.

—

A Week Later

“So did your little brat ass even write down a sentence?” Your boyfriend teasingly asked.

“What do you think Suki?” You said with a smirk as you faced him from your desk. His eyes went wide as he stilled in his seat next to you.

“...Did you even try?” He asked, worried for your academic career and you. He tried encouraging you all week and you didn’t do anything?

“Relax babe. I opted for a visual,” you said with closed eyes and a smile. He smiled too, proud of you for getting it done.

“You actually did it? Nice work princess,” he said and leaned over to peck your cheek but you only giggled as you clarified.

“Well, more or less.” You said as you stated ahead with a smirk.

“More or less? The hell does that mean Y/-“ he was cut off by the sound of the door opening and their teacher walking in. Aizawa had walked up to the podium and began role-call. Eventually, he made it to the topic of homework and his attention was immediately focused towards you.

“L/N!” Aizawa called out in a non-aggressive or angry way. More like his form of enthusiasm.

“Yes sir?” You replied back with actual enthusiasm.

“Time to present your homework.”

“Can’t do that sir.”

“Why not?”

“Didn’t do my homework sir.”

“Why not?”

“That’s what I’m rebelling against sir.”

You smiled with a very devious demeanor and Aizawa sighed again before he continued. “Did you at least do anything for the assignment?”

“Sort of. But I’m gonna need a certain someone else to go first. Iida, I’m talking about you,” you said turning to face the very robotic and precise young man.

“I’d be glad to present first!” He said and quickly left to the hallway to bring in his visual. Now, the reason why you called on Iida first was because you knew he’d be the only one to actually do a visual and he went above and beyond. Aka, he used sparklers to give it a “wow factor” for creativity points. You would know. You had watched him do his work to see what you can rip off of him but oh well. A new plan already came into mind and so here we are!

Iida walked in with his visual to stand at the front of the doorway and yes, the sparklers were lit! You smiled at the sight and only allowed him to get a sentence out before you interrupted.

“Perfect! Thank you Iida!” You said as you got up. “But now I’m gonna need to show my assignment. You just stay right there.”

“Y/N..” Bakugou quietly called out as he watched you walk around to every student.

“Now, I’m gonna need a piece of everyone’s assignment. So I’ll take this,” you said and took Denki’s paper off his desk and went for everyone else’s as well. You lastly took Bakugou’s before walking over to Iida and taking a sparkler.

“So! For my assignment based on a rebellion, I chose to ignore the whole history part and decided to show you what’s gonna be happening in the now. This is my rebellion. Homework! Why all the homework, Aizawa?” You asked as you walked back to your desk. You kept talking as you kept walking. “We wake up at early hours, go to school, then go to hero school/training and head home with more work to do aka homework. As students, we never get to take control of what we want to do because we’re so preoccupied with school, school, school.”

“L/N...” Aizawa warned as he watched you stand on your desk.

“My rebellion? No homework, more freedom.” You said and began to bring the spark close to all the paper assignments but Aizawa snatched them out of your hand before you and the chance to start a fire.

“Al-Alright! That’s enough L/N!” He warned but you stood firm as you raised the sparkler to the roof.

“No homework, more freedom! No homework, more-“ You were cut off by the sprinklers being activated due to the spark being so close. Students ran out the room to avoid the water but Bakugou stayed with you along with Aizawa as the three of you became soaked.

10 minutes later

You and Katsuki waited outside the room together waiting for Aizawa to return to most likely scold and reprimand you. You were both drenched in water as you looked towards the ground and Katsuki grinded his teeth together. While waiting, it was clear your own boyfriend had been pissed with your actions and surprisingly, he decided to scold you as well.

“What the hell was that all about Y/N!?” Bakugou shouted as he stepped infront of you staring you down. You looked up at your boyfriend in shock. You’ve known each other ever since Junior High and not once has he ever been truly angry with you and your rebellious side. So this shouting was a shock to you.

“What? I did the assignment. I showed what I rebelled against-“

“Y/N quite acting like a dumbass! You know what I mean!” He shouted again. “You’re smart! I know you are! You have intelligence and yet you refuse to do anything useful with it! You get yourself into so much damn trouble and I’ve been trying my fucking best to lead you away from that shit but nothing seems to work! I want you to be yourself and I love you with my everything but this bad girl image isn’t you! Do you even realize how fucking disrespectful and wild you get sometimes?! It’s getting out of hand!”

You bit your lip as you looked to the floor once more. A silence over came the two of you.

“I’m sorry..” you softly said while looking up at him before the silence had a chance to grow alarmingly loud.

“I am too! Because you go too fucking far!” He said with stern eyes and a booming voice. You felt tears reach your eyes and you tried to blink them away as you looked at him and spoke again.

“....I have no one at home who helps me with my homework...” you said brokenly. Bakugou looked at you with a confused and kind of worried face as another silence grew. You said nothing and did nothing as you walked away from him, not even bothering to wait for Aizawa anymore and just went home.

—

Bakugou constantly tried to reach out to you. He called you always, spammed you with texts, left voicemail after voice and nothing. After that day, you stopped going to school. Bakugou occasionally tried going to your house to knock on the door, but it wasn’t too often due to him still believing your “strict parents” story. And either way, you never opened the door.

On the inside of your home, you were in your room. You ignored all of Bakugou’s attempts to contact you. You couldn’t be around him right now. You couldn’t be around anyone right now. You didn’t even wanna be around anyone at home but I guess that was the usual already. Your mom was too focused on working to notice her sad child but luckily she was also too busy to notice the constant phone calls from the school trying to inform her of her child’s absences. She always had a meal prepped for you when you “returned home from school,” and so that would be your meal. Including anything else you guys had laying around in the kitchen.

Days past by and most of the time, you were in your room staring down at the homework itinerary. You constantly thought about Bakugou’s words.

“You’re smart! ...... This bad girl image isn’t you!”

Was he right? You had no idea. Your dad left when you were five and it blindsided you. You’ve been lost and in the dark for 11 years. Was this bad girl who you were? Were you smart? Did you even know who you really were? You would constantly stare at yourself in the mirror trying to figure out and recognize who the girl in front of you was but you never figured it out. You thought you did but maybe you were wrong.

You spent a lot of time on your phone, specifically through the photo album on it that was filled with pictures of you and Katsuki. It made you smile looking at all the memories. You smiled at the fact that you were blessed with him. He brings out a better you...the best you....the real you. All the times you were with him were all genuine. It was the real you. And you had finally realized that. But you couldn’t be sure.

The bad girl you was still a part of who you were for over a decade of your life. Maybe that was who you were now. And there was only one way you could find out.

—

It’s been a week and you still weren’t in school. The day ended and Bakugou still waited and waited for you. He never stopped trying to reach out to you. He never stopped because he loved you but now, he also had questions.

‘What did you mean when you said you had nobody at home to help you?’ He thought to himself. The end of the day bell rang and Bakugou, too lost in his mind, didn’t realize all the students leaving. He didn’t even realize Mr. Aizawa walking up to him.

“Bakugou..” he began.

“Tch...the hell do you want?” He said while still staring down at his desk. Aizawa stared down at the sad blonde, slightly in shocked. He had never seen his loud, angry, prideful student this way.

“How’s L/N doing?” He asked.

“Like I would know. She hasn’t spoken to me in days.” Bakugou easily confessed. He honestly didn’t care how he looked. He’s been bottling up everything and needed to talk to someone. He was a little glad it was just his teacher and not one of his peers who he thought would just tease him for the weakness he was displaying.

“Well try to keep an eye on her.” he said and Bakugou looked up at him in confusion. “L/N may put up a tough front, but she’s human. She can only take so much before she explodes like a volcano. Knowing her, it can go 2 ways. She either breaks down in tears and gets everything off her chest or most likely, she’ll follow her rebellious behavior and utterly screw up. Who knows what trouble she could get herself into.”

Bakugou’s eyes shot open at the thought of you committing such terrible things. Aizawa walked back to his yellow sleeping bag once he realized Bakugou got the message.

“However, I will say this,” he said and got into his bag. “She’s very lucky to have you as her light in the dark. Make sure you continue to be her light until she’s completely away from the shadows.”

Bakugou nodded his head in silence as he stood up and went home. Tomorrow, he was going to get to the bottom of this. He won’t let his little volcano blow.

—

The blonde had gotten ready and planned to head over to your house to talk to you. Not try to. He will speak to you and he will help you. As he walked into the gates of UA he was shocked to see a pretty face waiting for him at the entrance.

“Hey Suki!” You said with a smile as you walked to him and wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Y/N...” Bakugou gasped out quietly. Once he felt your embrace around his neck he was quick to wrap his arms around your waist and hold you tight. He buried his face in the crook of your neck and melted into the scent of you. He held you so close you were kind of losing oxygen.

“Umm..Suki. Can’t breath!” You said jokingly. Bakugou was quick to let go but still keep a loose hold on you.

“Sorry! Sorry- I just- I-“

“Hey, don’t worry. I’m glad you missed me,” you said with a wink and Bakugou smiled. He truly did miss you. “But right now, we should get to class.”

Bakugou was shocked you were choosing to go to class but he nodded with a soft smile and followed your lead nonetheless. You walked into the classroom and took your seat after making eye contact with Aizawa. When you were seated, Aizawa looked at Bakugou and gave a signal of an explosion with his hands and mouth. Bakugou got the idea.

At any time, this might be the buildup to Y/N’s explosion.

Bakugou took his seat and was quick to talk to you. “Baby? You’re not gonna....burst or something right? Everything is fine? Yeah?”

“Uhh, kinda? I mean, I’m pretty secure. I just wanna find myself after all the years of being so lost. .....I’m sure that soon I’ll get those answers.” You calmly said.

“What do you mean?” Bakugou said. He knew it. You were gonna explode. And he also realized he needed answers too. What the hell was going on with you and why didn’t he know?

“Don’t worry love!” You cheerfully said as Aizawa began class. Time went by and class continued. Bakugou was constantly looking your way to check for any signs of agitation. Suddenly, the fire alarm rang and students jumped at the loud sound. Some began walking out as Bakugou sighed in relief.

“Oh thank god! You exploded,” he sighed with his head back and hand on his chest.

“What do you mean?” You questioned.

“You. You exploded. This is you getting all the frustrations off your chest,” he stood up and addressed everyone. “It’s fine idiots. This is just Y/N being a little delinquent,”

“Your blood pumping?” You calmly asked.

“Yup,” Bakugou said with a satisfied smile.

“Good, I didn’t do it,” you calmly said to Bakugou but he continued.

“Yes you did! Im assuming she started a fire but it’s fine. S’not a villain or something so don’t sweat it.” He said aloud. “Go ahead and get out of here Morons, I’ll make sure she’s in check.”

“I-...I didn’t do it,” you still calmly said but this time to reassure the class as Bakugou grabbed your wrist.

“Yes you did, and it’s fine! Because this is how you get all the bad out so now you can’t do anymore bad for 3,000 years.” He said happily but you still looked at him with a bored stare when out of nowhere, the alarm stopped and Principle Nezu came onto the loud speaker.

“Sorry students. False alarm. No need to worry, please proceed with your studies.” The students sighed in relief and Bakugou’s smile dropped as he finally realized this wasn’t you going boom.

“You didn’t do this? You aren’t a volcano?” He asked.

“No explody,” you said in a sing-song voice as you shook your head.

“You need a nap?” He asked. Maybe instead of exploding, you could just sleep off the issues.

“Wide awakey,” you replied.

“..You’re gonna burst and destroy the whole village, aren’t ya?” He sadly and metaphorically asked. You nodded your head as you replied.

“......And the neighboring towns.”

Bakugou just groaned and dropped your wrist as he sat back down with an annoyed face. You giggled as you took your seat too.

—

The bell that signaled the end of the day rang and you were quick on your feet as you skidded to Bakugou and pecked his cheek. He looked up at you with a soft smile, poked his lips out a little, and pointed at his lips for an actual kiss (which you gladly gave.)

“What’s the rush dumbass?” He asked.

“I’ve got somewhere to be. Don’t worry though, I’ll be fine!” You reassured him.

“..Alright I guess? You still coming over later for dinner with the old hags or...?”

“I’ll be there Suki!” You said and his nerves settled a bit. He kissed you on your cheek and nodded before he allowed you to leave the room and head off to wherever. As he watched you go, he couldn’t stop the uncomfortable stress he felt in his chest.

—

A few hours had passed since Bakugou’s last seen you. After school he went straight to the gym before dinner. While working out, his mind couldn’t help but wonder what you were up to. What was so important that it had you rushing around like that?

While Katsuki sat at the gym questioning your whereabouts, you were walking to the park with a book bag. You walked into the closed park. It was beautiful. The calming winds, the soft grass, the shining moon, and the beautiful gardens that held happy statues. Too bad you were here to find out who you were.

You placed the bag down on a bench and pulled out your tools. A brick, a hammer, spray cans, and matches. You looked at the instruments you brought and sighed at your actions. Were you really going to demolish a beautiful place just to discover yourself? Was this bad girl image really worth it? You hesitated before you went in to pick up the hammer but before you could, a familiar voice spoke up.

“Well look what we have here. Miss Y/N L/N, the rebel herself.” You turned around to see a few old friends. Haruki Gen, the professional gambler and money hussler and Izumi Tobio, the ruthless fighter. These two were your old friends. People you used to get into a whole lotta trouble with. You three were a delinquent trio that were all about no rules and no restraints. You completely forgot this was the usual hang where you three would just relax after a hard day of mean pranks, harmless stealing, and bullying.

“Haruki. Izumi. S’been awhile,” you said with a nonchalant smile.

“Of course it has. You left us after you got with that blondie boy-wonder.” Haruki teased. You chuckled but were offended as they picked at your boyfriend.

“His name is Katsuki.” You said with your hands in your back pockets.

“Whatever,” Izumi interrupted. “It’s a little dark out here. It gets scary when it gets dark around here.”

“Oh, I appreciate the warning.” You softly said with rudeness laced into the message.

“So where’s boy wonder?” Haruki asked.

“Katsuki.”

“Boy wonder. We see you got a brick and hammer here. Boy wonder isn’t gonna stop you?”

“Once again, Katsuki.” You warned.

“Yeah yeah. You gonna tell us what you’re doing here with those things. Whatcha’ gonna do? Build a house?” She teased.

“She’s Y/N L/N. She’s gonna burn the place down,” Izumi said as she wrapped an arm around your shoulder.

“Nah,” Haruki Said. “She’s changed. She’s gone soft. Just like boy wonder.”

“Okay, I’m gonna need you to start calling him Katsuki.” You warned.

“You’re soft like Katsuki. Better?” Izumi said softly into the side of your face.

“I’m not soft.” You said but Izumi disagreed.

“Yeaaahhhh you are. You’ve gone soft. But that’s okay. ‘Cuz we can fix that. And you know how we fix things? With a hammer.” She said and looked to Haruki. You both watched as Haruki went to pick up the hammer you brought and walk back to her spot next to you. “We could do a loootttt of damage with this equipment. Is that what you came here for? To see what you’re still capable of?”

“....Yeah....yeah I came to see what I’m still capable of.” You replied with a quiet but dark voice.

“Really?” Izumi said. “Because I’d love to have you back here doing damage with us.”

“Mhm!” Haruki agreed. “Now...watch and remember that this is what we do with a hammer.” She said before she bashed the head clean off the neck of a statue that oddly resembled your own boyfriend. You slightly flinched at the sound and sight of destruction while Izumi walked to Haruki.

“Okay slugger, let’s give someone else a chance,” she said and took the hammer from Haruki before placing it in your hands. “Show us what you got....softie.”

You took the hammer and once again hesitated before you raised the tool in the air to smash the statue. You freezed midway before you could finish the job. The statue really did remind you of Katsuki and you didn’t know if you had it in you to destroy anything reminding you of him. You paused for awhile and Izumi sighed as she took the hammer out of your hand.

“You’re soft L/N. I know it. You know it.”

“You’re not one of us anymore.” Haruki said.

“Exactly. You’re too soft to be one of us.” Izumi pushed you a bit, causing you to stumble forward slightly. “You chose the wrong group of friends. Chose the wrong person to associate with....you chose him. And he made you weak. So why don’t you just admit he made you weak and go home-“

“No. Because I’m not week.” You said as you faced them.

“Oh yeah? Prove it.” Haruki said as she walked towards you and you to her. “Take this hammer from me and prove it. Or else I’m gonna bust up Mr. Perfect right in front of you. ‘Cuz I don’t see anyone here who can stop me.” She said as she motioned towards the statue. She went in to bash it once more and you were quick to grab her arm and snatch the hammer out of her hand.

“Yeah there is,” you said and walked to the bench and picked up the hard piece of rock. “‘Cuz I’ve got the brick, and I’ve got the hammer.”

The two girls smirked at you and Izumi spoke up once more. “Good for you L/N. You know what you’re gonna do with those?”

You sighed through your nose before taking your arm and wrapping it around Izumi very casually, but brought her below your level and whispered in her ear but remained loud enough for Haruki to hear. “I know exactly what I’m gonna do with those.....I know exactly who I am.”

You pushed Izumi off of you and watched her backup to Haruki. They both looked at you in shock and slight fear as you held the weapons that you were capable of harming them with. You stared them down as they watched you with caution.

—

Hinata L/N. Your mother. She returned home at a surprisingly early hour of the night after finishing her final shift. She was exhausted and completely overworked, but knowing she made some money to support her and her daughter made her smile. She was glad she got to come home and spend some time with her daughter but when she called out your name, only silence filled the air.

She walked to the kitchen but stopped in shock to find the dinner she left for you completely untouched. It remained on the island with the Saran Wrap still covering it. Worried, she went up to her daughters room only to open it and see no one. Hinata’s eyes went wide in shock. Where was her baby girl? She ran to the closet in hopes of you being there, went to the bathroom to find it empty, and even went to the backyard to no avail. The entire time she screamed your name with tears filling her eyes. In a panic, she called a close friend of hers, telling her that she was on her way for a quick visit. It may have been years since they’ve spoken, but the bond was still there and help and comfort was all she needed right now.

—

Bakugou had finished his time at the gym, took a quick shower there, and made it home. When he walked through the front door, he didn’t expect to find his worried parents consulting a sad woman.

“The hell happened?” The young blonde questioned. The adults in the room took notice of the boy as he walked into the living room and Mitsuki was the first to speak up.

“Katsuki, this is my old friend Hinata. She’s come here for help.” Mitsuki quickly explained. Usually, she’d check her son for his abrasive language but let it slide as she wanted to out her full attention of her dear friend.

“That still doesn’t explain what happened, ya old hag.” Bakugou said placing his bag down and taking a seat. He was a hero trainee and it was in him to help those in need. Granted, he was kinda peeved at not seeing his girlfriend for a few hours and helping out some random, sappy, sad stranger wasn’t really intriguing but a hero’s gotta do what a hero’s gotta do.

“My daughter, Y/N, had gone missing.” Hinata explained. She was worried, yes, but she had always allowed Y/N to wander the city so in the back of her mind she hoped her daughter was just extending the time of her little stroll or whatever she was doing.

“Y/N?” Bakugou whispered to himself.

“Katsuki, you idiot! Your girlfriend!” Mitsuki shouted at the boy. Bakugou’s eyes popped open as he stood from his seat in a rush. He felt his heart about to blow in fear of something bad happening to his Y/N.

“WHAT?! Where the hell did she go?!” Bakugou screamed in fear with a worried look. Before any adults could answer a cop walked through the open door.

“I can answer that.” Officer Haru said. The four of them all looked towards the door to see the officer at the door way. They watched as the officer faced the door and tilted his head inwards. In came another officer that dragged along Y/N. The officer kept Y/N’s arm behind her back as she stumbled forward the slightest bit.

“Baby girl, what happened?” Hinata said as she got up in concern. You remained silent as you allowed officer Haru to speak.

“I’ll tell you what happen. Musutafu code 459 and 623.” He said.

“Vandalism? And Physical Assualt?” Masaru said concerned.

“What?!” Mitsuki said in shocked.

“What?” Hinata said in follow.

“Y/N...what the hell did you do?” Bakugou said in concern as he faced you. Your boyfriend kept his worried but stern gaze on you but that was because Bakugou was shocked. He knew you would explode but committing crimes and assault? Not to mention getting arrested? That’s not what he expected at all.

“You...” you began as you slanted your sight to your Pomeranian of a boyfriend. “You did this to me! Lock me up and put me in jail for the rest of my life and don’t allow visitors or else he’ll show up and bring me my stupid homework!” You said as you walked towards him but the officer held his hand out infront of you to keep you from getting any closer.

“Well first of all, I’d be helping your dumbass!” Bakugou said in reply. The officer took a look at Bakugou and spoke again.

“You’re the kid who’s head she put back on,” Haru said as he pointed towards Katsuki.

“What?” The blonde boy said.

“He’s my boyfriend and he ruined me!” You said still being held back by officer Haru’s arm.

“She’s my girlfriend and I love her,” Bakugou said with a stern voice and his hands in his pockets as he glared you down. “Look, Y/N. Just tell me what you did.”

“She assaulted two teenage girls and did a number on a public park. My park. I watch that park every day and it has never met harm not once until she came along.

“I’m sorry...” you softly said. A quick silence filled the room before Haru spoke once more.

“You all care about this girl?”

“We do.” Mitsuki said with 100% sureness.

“Then let’s all take a field trip down to my park so I can show you all just what she did. Let’s go.” Haru said and guided everyone out the door. Katsuki tried to grab your arm to get an explanation on his own but you shook your head, took his hand, and guided him as well.

After a short walk, you all made it to the park. All of you had walked through the gates to find the concrete area had been completely altered. The walls were painted in beautiful colors with inspiring murals, covering them in words of hope. Extremely precise and intricate chalk designs were covering the ground and the once broken statue had been fixed completely. You all looked around in awe. You walked towards the statues and Bakugou followed you.

“.....I had a brick in my hand.”

“Why?” Bakugou asked with a soft voice. You looked up to him with an equally soft expression as you spoke quietly.

“..because somebody went after you..I know you can defend yourself Suki but..still.”

“Who Y/N?” Mitsuki asked with worry. You took a breath before continuing as you opened up about your past a bit.

“..These two girls I used to know. These two troubled girls I used to know. I could’ve been them..I was one of them. And Suki, even today I would’ve been one of them.” You said but you made eye contact and broke into the smallest smile as you stared into his ruby eyes. “But I’m not. ‘Cuz they think a hammer and a brick makes you strong and as much as I wanted to throw a brick through a window..I knew it would’ve made me weak. I’m strong. And I know it’s because there’s something inside me that stops me from being weak and being one of them, and you are the reason why I have that something. And that something is the reason why I’ll never do any true damage.”

“Because you’re not bad, Y/N.” Bakugou said with a soft smile. You nodded your head and agreed.

“Yeah....why am I not bad?” You asked in confusion. Bakugou chuckled as he took your hands in his and placed his forehead to yours.

“Because it’s just not who you are. You may be a rebel at times, but you’re a rebel with a cause....it’s why I love you.” He softly said and you whimpered a bit at his words as he pulled you in for a tight hug and you slightly weeped into his shoulder. He kissed your temple to calm you down and you pulled your face away from him and just allowed your body to rest against his.

“What happened to the girls?” Masaru asked. You pulled away from Bakugou but allowed him to hold onto your side as you explained with a quivering voice.

“Oh, well they may or may have not insulted everyone and everything I love, so I may or may not have used my hero training against them until they learned their lesson.....especially since they were the ones who destroyed the statue.” You explained and they all just chuckled at your explanation.

“Yeah....they ran away so fast,” you chuckled out softly.

A comfortable silence came around until officer Haru spoke again. “My park. I watch this park everyday.”

You pulled away from Bakugou and stepped to the officer. “...I’m sorry..” you quietly said as you placed your wrists together, expecting the old officer to cuff you. Instead he stared at your wrists before softly grabbing them with his hands and just holding them.

“..You know I’m not gonna give up on that Izumi and Haruki. But I don’t want you to be anything like them.” Old officer Haru said with a comforting voice.

“Heh...I can’t....Katsuki won’t let me.” And the group all chuckled and laughed at that. Haru let go of your hands as he spoke again.

“Musutafu code 459 and 623. Vandalism. Physical Assualt. I’m gonna write this report down. And I’m gonna put it into a file. And then I’m gonna “misplace” that file. And if I never hear from you two hoodlums again, then that file remains misplaced.” He said, admitting to letting you off the hook. You sighed a little as Katsuki walked up to the two of you and softly spoke to you.

“....Ima hoodlum.” He said. Oh, the comedic relief this boy is bringing. You looked at him but went back to the officer as you looked at him in confusion.

“Why’re you letting me off the hook?” You asked but officer Haru just looked around at his newly renovated park.

“My park....I look at this park everyday....I have hope for this park too.” You smiled at him before he nodded with his cap and walked away from you all. The adults all looked at the two teens and saw Katsuki nod his head as he held you. They decided to give the two of you some space and head back to the house while you and Katsuki took a seat on the bench. You sat next to each other in a warm silence as Katsuki kept an arm around your waist and held you tight.

“...You still owe me an explanation Y/N.” He said and you nodded as you looked to him. He was right. You not only owed him an explanation but he deserved one too. And so you told him everything. All the lies, how your father left early on, how it was just you and your mother who struggled to keep the lights on. You told him you lied to him to prevent him from worrying, claiming that the troubled life was everything you knew and you thought you would be able to survive without his help. When he asked how his mother knew yours but didn’t know that you were the daughter of her dear friend, you told him how she did know but you begged her to not tell Katsuki. You told Mitsuki you would tell Katsuki eventually but eventually never came until now. Katsuki, being the great boyfriend that he is, listened to everything. He didn’t judge you for anything. Was he a little mad at the lies? Yes, but he understood. And he still loved you nonetheless.

Eventually, it became so late that the sun began to rise over the park and you were all cuddled up into Katsuki’s side with your knees pressed up against your chest. He rested his head on yours as you rested your own on his shoulder. You both just reveled in the intimate moment and savored every second.

“Hey princess?”

“Yeah Suki?” Bakugou looked towards the statue and smiled before speaking.

“Thanks for putting my head back on.”

You looked at him, pecked his cheek, and snuggled in closer.

“Yeah.....same to you.”

A/N: Hey Cubs! I know this wasn’t really a Bakugou x Reader kinda thing but I like the story line of it and I wrote it so HAH! Truthfully though, I hoped you all enjoyed it. Stay tuned. Oh! And part 9 of “Oh, The Lies You Tell” will be out shortly! See you soon Cubs!

[she-who-fights-and-writes]

How would one write a realistic argument?

How to Write a Realistic Argument

Everyone argues.

Whether it be with a friend, sibling, parent, or coworker—arguments usually break out whenever there’s a stark contrast in opinion over certain things, which can happen a lot.

There are a variety of different kinds of arguments involving a wide range of people with different tempers. Because of this, writing arguments can be a bit difficult, but fear not, for this post is here to help!

1. Know The Writing Style of an Argument

For a very serious argument, the characters probably won’t stop and listen to what their opponent has to say.

It’s quick, choppy, and broken—each character shoving their emotions at one another and trying to get their point across without bothering to understand the other side’s opinions.

There should be a lot of em-dashes and italicized words for emphasis, and if it’s between two people, you want as few speech tags as possible; because there’s going to be a lot of back and forth, speech tags can serve to trip up the flow of the argument rather than help them.

When you do want speech tags or if there are multiple people arguing at once here’s some examples you can use:

Roared

Screamed

Yelled

Bellowed

Barked

Hissed

Shouted

Accused

Interrupted

Growled

Snarled

Spat

Screeched

Shrilled

But you also must know that your characters won’t just be standing stock still and yelling at one another; they’re going to be moving around, so here are some things you can describe your character doing during an argument

Expression contorting

Eyes narrowing

Speaking through clenched teeth

Baring their teeth

Lips twisting (into a sneer/into a snarl)

Hands balling into fists

Trembling

Breaking things/knocking stuff over

Pointing accusingly

Shoving

Spittle flying from their mouth

Stamping their feet

Face getting hot

Vein in forehead popping

Blood roaring in their ears/heart pounding

And if you want, to build tension you can put it in a dangerous place, like at the edge of a cliff or something—so you know fully well that if one of them goes too far it may end up with the other’s accidental death.

2.Know Your Characters

The most important factors of your argument are the characters participating in it.

You should have your characters’ tempers established beforehand so you know if they’re going to be hanging back while others argue or if they’re going to be throwing hands every other chapter.

Your characters’ tempers will shape how much tension the argument causes.

An argument with someone who is usually chill and slow to anger will be a whole lot more impactful and important than an argument with someone who is a known hothead, but it wouldn’t make sense if the argument happened over something minor.

Here’s a list of some of the tempers your character can have, ranked from lowest to highest on how much tension an argument with them causes

 (Just so you know, these aren’t rigid categories; most people are usually a mix of everything!):

–Hotheaded Character–

Fights with a hothead hold the least tension. 

Hotheads will fight over anything and everything, their quick fuse making them easy to irritate and anger. Their words can hurt people who aren’t used to it, but usually bounce off of close friends who are used to it and know that the hothead usually doesn’t mean it.

Arguments with hotheads have a high chance of turning physical, because their rage explodes in bursts rather than a slow buildup (the definition of going from zero to one hundred), and in any situation, hotheads are usually the ones to throw the first punch.

 Because a hothead could get riled up about a spilled drink just as quickly as they can get riled up about a friend dying, just having a hothead getting angry during a moment of severe tension won’t bring you the umph that you’re looking for.

However, your hotheaded character can serve as an instrumental character in triggering more serious arguments, one of their mindless snide remarks going too far with a level-headed or shy character.

Examples of hotheaded characters:

Stanley Kowalski, A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams

Lt. Tom ‘Iceman’ Kazansky, Top Gun (1986)

Anger, Inside Out (2015)

–Aloof Character–

These characters are a lot like hotheads, but the many, many fights that they pick don’t involve them getting raging, screaming mad.

They’re cold, calculating, and cutthroat, and they couldn’t care less about what you think of them.

Their anger is a lot less “loose cannon” than the hotheads’. They say what they mean and mean what they say, and it’ll take a long time to recover from the tongue-lashings these people can dish out.

The greater tension, however, comes from when the aloof characters raise their voices and start shouting—their schooled, uncaring façade fades away and they’re left truly and undeniably angered by whatever tipped the scales.

It’s not too tension-building because these characters were just bastards to begin with, but it’s still unnerving and shocking to see a normally collected character lose their cool.

Examples of aloof characters:

Mr. Darcy, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Prince Cardan, The Cruel Prince by Holly Black

Alex Stern, The Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo

Sherlock Holmes, Most Media Types

Tony Stark, The��Avengers

–Nonchalant Character–

These people usually don’t engage in meaningful arguments because they literally don’t care enough to bother. 

When another character tries to pick a fight, a character who is more nonchalant will sometimes roll their eyes at whatever accusation is being leveled at them rather than retorting. This can go either way, perhaps escalating the tension or diffusing it by not offering up a reply.

Kind of like with the aloof character, they don’t have any emotional attachment arguments that they start or are dragged into. They’ll argue for the sake of arguing, but they really don’t give a fuck about it. 

The part that draws the tension, however, is when the characters do give a fuck. A fight they get into turns heated, and a character’s normal devil-may-care attitude may morph into something else altogether.

Most nonchalant characters also may exhibit some hotheaded tendencies, which shows how muddles these archetypes can be.

Examples of Nonchalant Characters:

Han Solo, The Star Wars Saga

Deadpool, Deadpool (2016)

Angel Dust, The Hazbin Hotel

–Level-headed/Stoic Character–

These characters are the cool cucumbers of the group. They’re very, very, VERY slow to anger, and usually exhibit more maturity than their peers, almost never starting arguments. 

They’re the masters of diffusing arguments with a few words, and hardly ever raise their voices.

Sure, they may serve as backup to someone else and may jump to their aid with a bit of heat behind their words, but this hardly happens when the argument is their own.

Many hotheaded or aloof characters may try teasing or pushing these characters in order to act out, but it rarely works.

On the few instances that a level-headed character is angered, it is pretty serious.

Either one of the other characters poked fun at something they shouldn’t’ve—their dead parents, something they’re self-conscious about, etc.—or a member of the group makes a terrible mistake with dire consequences, and the stoic character has had enough.

This causes a lot of tension because “oh shit, the calmest person in our group just went off” and can usually signal a breakdown of the group because their strongest link is snapping.

Examples of Stoic Characters:

Geralt of Rivia, The Witcher

The Mandalorian, The Mandalorian

Spock, Star Trek

The Doctor, Doctor Who

Atticus Finch, To Kill A Mockingbird

–Timid/Shy/Quiet Character– 

An argument with a timid person causes by far the most tension out of everything, to the point where I call it “The Snap.”

Someone who is timid, shy, or quiet would rather not argue at all because they don’t have it in them to retort.

They may care a whole lot about the situation under contention, but for one reason or another they don’t want to start too much trouble. These people actively avoid conflict and usually try their best to diffuse situations before they start, whether it be by conceding, walking away, or pulling the nonchalant route and not saying anything.

However, unlike the stoic characters, they might be much more emotional; it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for a timid character to cry when being berated by the others, and they may even be outwardly livid, but they always back down in the end.

 However, they can only hold it in for so long.

 If you have a character who spends the entire book meekly accepting the verbal (or perhaps physical) harassment of other characters, you should most definitely put a “Snap” somewhere in the story, a point where the character has had enough and fights back.

 The timid character’s pent-up rage and sorrow explodes into a raging argument that will most definitely frighten the other characters.

 The tipping point may be the death of the loved one or just a simple, ordinary jab from an antagonist—the straw that broke the camel’s back.

 Unlike with the hothead’s quick bursts of anger like snap fireworks, the anger of a quiet character—much like with a stoic character—is like ten thousand pounds of dynamite with a very, very long fuse.

A quiet character will almost never have a contained argument once they’ve snapped; it will be like a category five hurricane, and God help the poor bastard that set it off.

Examples of timid/shy/quiet characters:

Carrie White, Carrie by Stephen King

Amélie Poulain,  Amélie (2001)

Bilbo Baggins, The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkein

3. Know The Rhythm of An Argument

An argument isn’t just 0 to 100 and then back to 0. 

The tension levels look more like a squiggly line than a single spike; the tension peaks and ebbs on various levels throughout an argument, especially if it’s a long, important one where both characters are snapping over a novel’s worth of building tension.

The argument can come in like a freight train or it can build up slowly, a character storming in after a realization or a single snide remark that snowballs into something much greater.

Then comes an accusation. Both characters brace themselves and realize that this argument isn’t just going to putter out.

More back and forth words exchanged. “I don’t like that you do this, this and this,” while the characters’ tempers flare even further, pushing them to say more extreme, hurtful things and working each other up into a rage.

A physical fight may break out between the two, throwing punches and insults.

The climax should be a huge, shocking exclamation or accusation. “I hate you!” “If you were never born, Mom would still be alive!” “This is all your fault!”

The tension ebbs. The characters stand in silence, bitter and ashamed of themselves.

They may agree on a few things, their tempers start to die down. They may come to some understandings or storm off with the tension unresolved. The argument ends.

This is the basic format of an argument; however, there are usually several levels of accusation-buildup before the eventual climax.

The whole point of an argument is that it leaves the characters’ relationships much different than they’d been before; they either understand each other much more, or they’ve become much more wary of one another.

If your characters’ relationship doesn’t change after an argument, then there was no point in writing it.

I really hope this helped! Happy Writing!

[onelovewonderwoman]

first class || charles xavier x reader

i’ve been on an x-men binge and fell into a hole of james mcavoy and charles xavier again, so here we are. i haven’t written fics in a long time, so i tried to again. i’m uncreative so like the title is just the first movie because of the fact that it’s set during that time. kind of like self insert cause there’s a few bits and pieces where there’s canonical plot and interactions, so disclaimer for that. anyways, hope you guys enjoy! ps also don’t have enough energy to find a fitting gif so maybe i’ll find one later maybe i won’t. we’ll see

words: 5.8k

warnings: not proofread (i spent three days on this so i don’t have the energy anymore haha), writing lacks emotional depth, drug use and mentions, intent of murder, thoughts of (murder, rape, suicide, etc.), poorly written two paragraphs about kissing, angst, we ignore moira and charles’ romance cause... duh, it’s x reader and it’s too difficult for me to work around it rn a haha

masterlist

The rooms were always the same. They were dark, illuminated only by the dimmest of lights emanating from the occasional lava lamp or fairy lights. Fairy - ironic word for such situations, such rooms. Filled so heavily with smoke it made it hard to breathe, let alone see. And the floors; the floors always felt different. 

In hindsight, it was probably the one thing that had her realizing the rooms were never actually the same. Sure, they had the same smell, the same overcrowdedness and moving bodies, the same darkness, even the same taste, but the floors testified to the difference each room held. 

Sometimes, when the world would freeze and all the people around her became nothing but a mesh of warm bodies, she could hear the floor creak under her feet with every step she took. There she was - the house right down the street from her. 

Other times, the floors felt sticky under her shoes. She assumed it was tequila. There were always too many bottles around to count, surely there would be spills. Or, some poor guy could have pissed himself like that one time. When her shoes sounded like velcro as she walked across the floor, she was at the house all the way across town.

In any case, she felt the same ankle up. One of her favourite parts had to be the way the music always abused her ears - so high, it made her feel lightheaded. More so than she already had been both. Sex was not nearly regular enough for her to compare, but she knew what she would feel every time the music was loud enough to make her head buzz and throb with a vengeance was more erotic than anything anyone could ever do to her.

The place could change but the scene never really did. Down to the people - she knew this for sure. She knew every beating heart around her like they were her own. She never only felt it there, but in her head as well. Even as it buzzed, she felt it. Sometimes it tore at her skull as if trying to escape - ironic.

Now, why did the scene change one evening in 1962? She told herself it was fate, but it had merely been wishful thinking when she knew why. How did she know? She knew the man sitting next to her on the worn down couch, nearly entirely unconscious and reeking of weed and vodka, knew the girl across the house, the girl across the house knew the man next to her and that - so on and so forth - meant she knew all three of them, even though they didn’t know her. So, for two new men to walk into the house, their eyes focused - focused on her - changed the scene entirely.

Now, the music became nothing more than an assault on her ears; the lights became too bright at the same time as the dark became too dark; the air became heavier than usual; and she sobered up at the feeling of something - someone - in her head. Then, it all caved in. It was as overwhelming as it always was, but she was used to it enough to handle it for a little while, at least whilst remnants of her high remained. She couldn’t say the same for the shorter of the two men she saw keel over at the pressure.

He got over it pretty quick, from what she could tell. “Charles Xavier,” he introduced himself as, “This is my colleague, Erik Lensherr.”

A quick trip from the couch to the door had her standing on the lawn of the house of the night with the two men. Crickets could be heard fighting against the sound of the music blaring from the house as she swayed on her feet, making wet sounds in the grass from earlier rain. Charles stood not much taller than her, charm emanating from him and the way his piercing blue eyes seemed to smile despite his furrowed brows and mouth set in a straight line as he stared at her, waiting for a response with his hands tucked into his coat pockets. Erik stood taller, stoic and calculating.

“And?” She crossed her arms across her chest, both in discomfort and the fact that the chilly night air had begun to bite at her skin, her long sleeve doing nothing to help. “I should care why?”

If the incident earlier wasn’t enough, the way the both of them looked at her was enough for her to know why. “What’s your name?” Charles asked, having her notice then the English accent on his tongue. 

The second she gave it to him, he smiled - almost sympathetically - at her and hummed, “You have an incredibly busy mind, Y/N.”

“And you have an incredibly nosy one, Charles.” That had Erik letting out a chuckle, one that felt like approval to her ears.

Never in a million years would she dare say yes to anything of the sort the two men proposed to her that night. A team of mutants; not necessarily that she thought it was absurd or a horrible idea - no. It made sense, not factoring in their current climate, to have a team of mutants fighting against the evils of the world. The horrible idea was to have her join. No, she wanted to tell them, “I don’t think it’s such a good idea.”

“That’s exactly what I’ve been thinking too,” Erik agreed with her, catching both herself and Charles off guard, “We’ll be going then.”

He offered her his hand. She didn’t know how long she stood there staring at his outstretched arm. Sometimes her high slowed time - it could have been five seconds or five minutes. When she finally looked away from his hand, up at him, she saw he stood unwavered and patient.

“You don’t have to, you know.” Her eyes shot to Charles as he broke the silence. He shook his head, brows still furrowed and mouth set in a straight line. “You’re under no obligation.”

For Charles to know, she understood. He had just been in her mind long enough to know that most of it wasn’t even hers. For Erik to know and offer her his hand made her wonder just how desperate he was to assemble the team - for whatever reason that she was about to find out in a moment.

“We leave now.” Was all he said after he tore his hand from hers.

An hour hasn’t even passed when she found herself on a plane with the two men, mind still buzzing but this time not with a high. This time, with an overwhelming anger and anticipation. The way Erik didn’t make eye contact with her and Charles sent worried glances her way throughout their trip to their “base” was enough to tell her that they knew she had already been briefed on what was happening - the reason behind their assembling of a team. Rather, she knew specifically of the personal motive behind it.

All it made her heart feel like it was beating a mile a minute. It pounded against her chest so hard she was sure at least one of them could hear it. So badly did she want to hide out in the plane’s bathroom and take something to stop the pain, but it was off the table. For now.

Soon enough the flight ended, and she came to find out their “base” was a covert CIA facility where they placed the other mutants they rounded up before her. She just as quickly met and said goodbye to Moira MacTaggert, a CIA officer working with Charles and Erik to stop Shaw. His name alone sent sparks of rage flowing through her veins.

She was left with the group when the three went off that night. There, she came face to face with Raven, Sean, Alex, Hank, Darwin, and Angel - or, Mystique, Banshee, and Havok. Darwin and Angel were “self explanatory”, considering they were already nicknames and described their powers fairly well. Hank was just… Hank.

Her turn came around quickly, once everyone settled down from Alex’s show of his “gift”, when all heads turned to her, sitting at the end of the couch. Raven smiled at her - she liked her, she was sweet - “What about you? What’s your power?”

“I’m,” She paused for a moment, the eyes on her making her anxious and curl into herself hoping, praying, another mutant wouldn’t touch her. “I can move things. With my mind.” She gave a tight smile to Raven and nodded her head, as if to reassure herself. “I can move things with my mind.”

Raven’s smile only widened, excited by either the prospect of her being able to move things with her mind or the opportunity to give her an alias. She assumed it was the latter. She excused herself to the washroom just as Raven asked the group what they thought. “We’ll have one for you once you get back! Promise!” Raven called after her.

Body filled with anticipation, she nearly ran to the washroom, willing the door closed behind her after she entered. It was small, but clean - CIA property after all. 

She tried. She really did. Albeit, making contact with a mutant was always the worst; Erik especially. The trauma, the pain, the thoughts. All them clawed at her brain, as though they were tearing through it layer by layer until nothing but them remained within her skull.

Nothing could stop her from taking out the small baggy in her back pocket and tearing it open. Nothing could stop her from taking it, only to feel a rush flow through her. It would take a bit, but soon enough she would stop feeling them gnawing on her very existence. Soon, numbness would wash over her and she could just be no one.

She guessed she was in the washroom for about half an hour. Staring at her reflection, at the floor, at the ceiling, at anything, but when she made her way back to the room, she found it in disarray. Music was blasting from the radio, chairs flipped over, Raven on top of the couch dancing as Hank hung from the ceiling light, the rest of the group messing around with their powers. She couldn’t tell if they were experiencing some high of their own or just happened to have gotten their hands on some alcohol.

“What are you doing? Who destroyed the statue?” Moira’s voice broke her out of the trance she was in watching the group. Slowly, she turned her head to see her, Charles, and Erik walking over as everyone else froze. Moira was angry, that much anyone could tell, but the two men were unreadable.

Hank was the first one to reply back, jumping down the ceiling, panicked, “It was Alex.”

“No. Havok.” Raven seemed to stay unfazed, still standing on the couch with a wide smile on her face. “We have to call him Havok. That's his name now…”

Raven’s words melted away from her. Her focus wasn’t elsewhere; it was simply nowhere at all. She stared at everyone in the room, yet no one at all. So caught up in nothing she didn’t notice Charles himself staring at her until Erik uttered something under his breath and walked away with Moira following, brows furrowed in what looked to be confusion. Just as she caught his eye, he looked away.

Directed at Raven, he spoke firmly, “I expect more from you.”

Not long after, they had gotten word that Shaw would be in Russia, and so she was left with the group of mutants when the three left alongside the CIA to get their hands on him. Before, it would have made her wonder what purpose the group of mutants really served if they didn’t want them there to help. Now, after the incident, she understood why.

By no means were any of them prepared for such a task. She couldn’t claim to be either. She only agreed because she knew a part within her would hate her for not coming and at the very least trying to help.

Just when she thought she and the solemn group couldn’t be any more of a liability, she was proven wrong. Because now Sebastian Shaw stood in front of them, smug and irritating as ever, after having his lackey drop an unsuspecting CIA to his death in front of all of them and cornering them. 

“Good evening. My name's Sebastian Shaw, and I'm not here to hurt you.” She was sure she wasn’t the only one assuming he had taken out every single CIA operative in the facility to make it this far; a thought that filled her being with even more dread than she was already feeling at the sight of him. “My friends, there's a revolution coming. When mankind discovers who we are, what we can do, each of us will face a choice. Be enslaved or rise up to rule. Choose freely, but know that if you are not with us, then by definition, you are against us. So, you can stay and fight for the people who hate and fear you. Or you can join me, and love like kings and queens.”

They all watched, both shocked and betrayed when Angel took the hand Shaw outstretched, standing by his side even when he murdered Darwin in his attempt to stop him with Alex. She didn’t see it - she turned away the second Shaw released the energy he’d taken from Alex into Darwin. She heard it, though. The explosion. When she turned back, as Shaw, Angel, and the men he had brought with him retreated, she saw nothing. There was no sign of Darwin; not even a speck of dust.

Suddenly, her chest tightened and the clawing came back.

----------------------------------

The person who happened to almost send them home also happened to be the one who provided them a new place to train their powers for the fight with Shaw. Charles was entirely serious and extremely close to sending them all home; “They’re just kids.” But Erik made it clear to him that they couldn’t be anymore, not after Shaw.

Charles lived, alongside Raven, in a massive mansion that had been entirely too big for her to take in, but it provided the perfect space for them to train their powers. Each of them were assigned rooms by Charles personally that day. 

He took the liberty of walking them each there. She didn’t know if it was just her or a Charles thing, but he stayed quiet. Unusual for a man that had so much to say. But then again, with what they’ve already been through, she couldn’t imagine he was feeling very chatty. She certainly wouldn’t have been in his situation. Granted, she would be feeling the same way now, but in her predicament by this point, she wouldn’t mind someone else’s verbal company.

The second he guided her through the bedroom

door, she began to take in the sheer size of the room, feeling bigger than life itself in the way that she was feeling. The bed was even better; huge and looked as though the softness of it would swallow her into a warm hug. Her first instinct would have been to jump right onto it, but the fact that Charles ceased to leave and instead remained planted there, giving her a look she couldn’t make out once she turned to face him, made her fight against her urges.

She opened her mouth in an attempt to utter an “Are you alright?” but never got the chance. Instead, Charles spoke as soon as her mouth opened, slowly, as if to make sure she understood every word he was saying like she had been incapable of doing so before, “Training starts tonight, but I’ll be seeing you tomorrow.”

With her brows furrowed in confusion, she nodded, and Charles began to walk away. He stopped by the frame of the door, back to her, and spoke again, “Try and get some rest.”

With that, he shut the door behind him. Now, she was left in the room alone, tiredness washing over her. Awaiting the next day, she decided to fall into the cloud that was the bed and fall asleep while she could.

----------------------------------

The next morning was when Charles asked to see her - by Raven. The young woman led her over to a room, an odd dome shaped one, where Charles stood waiting. He wasn’t the same as the night before - uncomfortable, was the only way she knew to describe it - welcoming and encouraging.

“We’ve got plenty of work to do,” Charles spoke, hands in his pockets, as she entered and Raven excused herself elsewhere. Looking around, she could see evidence that training had started last night, namely Alex’s. Dark scuff marks were streaked across walls of the dome on the end farthest from them and small balls of fluff on the floor remained, assumingly left behind in the midst of a quick clean up of training dummies that had been torn open.

Despite the mess, several other objects were placed across the floor. All ranged from light to heavy. Chairs, weights - it looked to be anything he could have been capable of carrying in with the help of the others.

She stopped in front of him. “What’s this?”

The man’s smile widened before he started, rather loudly at that. “Well.” He moved towards the objects then spun around to face her, arms outstretched. “This is the beginning of your training.”

She raised an eyebrow, looking at the man unimpressed. “You want me to move this stuff around?”

“You’re not just moving stuff around.” Charles shook his head, arms dropping to his sides as he declared. “You don’t need to move everything here. I only need to see how much you can handle.” His head tilted as he looked at her, blue eyes meeting her own as his expression retreated to one of curiosity. “And how you handle it.”

She didn’t think the professor was aware of the innuendo within the situation, so she let it go despite the sweet stomach dropping feeling that came over her. Instead, she shrugged. “Then what?”

“Then,” Charles hesitated for a moment, “Erik was able to move a satellite dish. If it happens to be possible-”

“A satellite dish?” She laughed incredulously, “You can be serious.”

Charles nodded towards her, challenging her statements as he took a few steps forward. “And what is it that’s making you believe you’re incapable of doing anything similar?”

“Look.” She shook her head, looking directly at him when she said, “I can move the average household item, shut a door and maybe, just maybe, bust it down, but I couldn’t push your couch across the room, let alone move a fu- a satellite dish.”

Charles’ brows furrowed. “And that’s what you believe?”

She hummed. “That’s what I know.”

“Well,” he sighed, disappointment written across his face that sent her into a spiral, “There’s not much we can do if you don’t believe you can better yourself, is there?”

The second he walked past her was when it felt as though ice water had been spilt onto her. A mixture of confusion and gloom washed over her before she turned to see Charles’ back, still moving towards the door. “What?”

He stopped in his tracks at her exclamation, waiting several moments as if contemplating before he turned back to her. Carefully, he asked, “Why do you take them?”

She shook her head, looking almost offended. “How did you-”

“Your mind,” Charles confirmed, “It gets quieter.”

The offence on her face never ceased, but the uncomfortable mixture of feelings she was overwhelmed with had her shrug in response to his question. Charles only nodded and gave her a tight smile before turning back.

She closed her eyes, resigning herself with huff. She could go back to the life she had come to know and hate, or she could take the second chance he was giving her even if it did include the prospect of some suffering.

“I don’t take them for fun.” The sound of her voice made Charles stop again. This time, he waited. “When I touch a person I don’t just take every experience. I take every memory.”

He turned around to face her once more and gave her nod, signalling her to continue. She breathed in and out. “I see and I feel everything that’s happened to them. That’s a lot and it’s enough, but that’s not why I-”

She cut herself off, feeling herself choke on the words before shaking her head and persisting herself on despite Charles’ look of concern. “I take them because, when I take their memories, I take all of their thoughts too. Every one. So every thought of murder, or rape, or suicide, or any fucked up thing, keeps tearing me apart from the inside out.”

Charles nodded, walking closer to her, choosing his words carefully as he spoke, sympathy written deep in his soft voice, “And they scare you.”

She shook her head. Looking away from him for a moment, she willed away tears she felt gathering. She turned back to him. “The thought of acting on them scares me.”

Although slightly taken aback by the revelation, Charles holds his composure. He nodded before opening his mouth to respond, walking closer as he began.

The only reaction he got was her taking a step back, shaking her head. “I swear I’m not a bad person.” Charles assumed she didn’t want him touching her - considering she took away every thought. “I’m always all these people at once - I don’t even know who I am.”

“Then we will figure it out.” Charles tilted his head, making sure her eyes met his when she attempted to look away. His voice was soft and reassuring to her ears, even if she didn’t know whether to believe him or not. “You aren’t alone, Y/N.”

As it turns, the drugs were having a large effect on her ability to use her powers - the next few days told her as much. By no means was she capable of moving a satellite dish, but she had been able to take her powers to lengths she never thought she could have been able to.

Most of it was due to Charles - he’d spent most of the next few days with her, pushing her, sometimes to the point where she’d snap at him. She always calmed, though, and Charles always remained coolheaded.

Still, they grew closer. Or at least she grew closer to him. She couldn’t tell if the praise, the laughs, the banter, and the willingness to come back together after a fight only meant something to her. She hoped it did - because why else wouldn’t he just give up on her? All that time spent on advancing her powers to defeat Shaw, and he still talked about helping her as though their relationship would continue past this mission.

Part of her wanted to touch him so she could just know. Even if he hadn’t taken such a liking to her as she had him, at the very least try to understand him in his entirety and make a space for herself in his life. Then, another part of her was horrified at what she would find in there.

For the time being, there wasn’t much opportunity to dwell on it. The day they would head out was coming soon, and Erik suggested the group get a good night’s rest. They would all need it.

With her luck, she didn’t know why she thought that sleep would come easy that night. Whether it was due to adrenaline, anxiety, or anything else, didn’t matter. Because whatever was keeping her up had her pacing the hallways of Charles’ estate that night.

She wasn’t looking for it, but instead happened upon a conversation. 

“… no difference. Shaw’s declared war on mankind. On all of us. He has to be stopped.” She heard Charles’ voice through a door as she passed by. Although knowing that he could probably make out the sound of her mind from a mile away, she still stopped by it. She grew even more curious when she heard Erik’s voice. 

“I'm not gonna stop Shaw. I'm gonna kill him. Do you have it in you to allow that?” A moment of silence passed and she shifted on her feet. It made the floor creek. She shut her eyes and bit her lip, nervous, expecting to hear the sound of one of their footsteps coming to open the door and catch her eavesdropping. Whether they heard or not, she didn’t know as Erik continued on, “You've known all along why I was here, Charles. But things have changed. What started as a covert mission, tomorrow mankind will know that mutants exist. Shaw, us, they won't differentiate. They'll fear us. And that fear will turn to hatred.”

“Not if we stop a war,” Charles’ voice wavered on a line of urgency and assurance, “Not if we can prevent Shaw. Not if we risk our lives doing so.”

Charles very well could have been doing nothing but reassuring Erik with his words, but she couldn’t help but wonder if he was actually trying to reassure himself. As if the world wouldn’t either discard or abuse them once they’ve served their purpose of their betterment. 

“Will they do the same for us?”

“We have it in us to be the better men.”

“We already are.” Erik’s voice quickly turned from calm to urgent when he next spoke. “We're the next stage of human evolution. You said it yourself!”

“No, no!” She heard Charles attempt to cut Erik off before he sighed. She could practically hear the disappointment in it, although she couldn’t say she felt the same. He only let Erik continue.

“Are you really so naive as to think that they won't battle their own extinction?” She heard him pause. “Or is it arrogance?”

“I’m sorry?” As if Charles had misheard him. 

She shifted on her feet once more as their voices became more hushed, despite the feeling coming from the room becoming more hostile than calm. This time, she was more careful. Nothing made a sound below her feet when she moved closer to the door, pressing her ear against it, as well as her left palm for support.

“After tomorrow, they're gonna turn us. But you're blind to it, because you believe they're all like Moira.” 

“And you believe they're all like Shaw.” Came Charles’ immediate response. Calmly, she heard him continue, “Listen to me very carefully my friend. Killing Shaw will not bring you peace.”

Erik’s voice never wavered when he told Charles, “Peace was never an option.”

Footsteps came far too fast for her to move away from the door. In a split second, she found herself leaning against the door to crashing into Erik’s chest when he pulled the door open. For a moment, Erik stood staring down at her, watching her attempt to recompose herself and attempt to apologize. She didn’t get a word out before he moved past her and walked away.

She watched his form retreat before she turned back to the room. Standing in the doorway, she saw Charles sitting in the chair facing away from her. With his eyes closed and fingers pinching the bridge of his nose, he sighed, “You realize I can hear your mind from across this house?”

She took a step in, almost reluctantly. She didn’t imagine Charles would be content with anything she had to say, but maybe she could make him understand. “Erik’s right, you know.”

Her words had Charles’ eyes snap open. He got out the chair, setting down the drink he was nursing on the table next to him, before he turned to face her. “Excuse me?”

“Peace isn’t an option ‘cause we’re never gonna get peace.” She shook her head, desperation in both her voice and eyes as she stared into his. “Erik thinks they’re gonna turn on us. They might not, but it doesn’t mean any of us will get any peace. They won’t all be like Shaw, they won’t all be like Moira, but most of them - most of them will just be human. They’ll fear us and they’ll judge us. It doesn’t matter how harmless we are or not.”

She watched as Charles took a step forward, his head tilting to the side, expression unreadable as his voice remained calm. “You can’t be serious.” It was a statement - a wrong one.

“Shaw needs to die,” She spoke with assurance. She felt her eyes fill with tears, Charles watching her suck in a breath and release as he began to walk closer to her, before she spoke in a whisper, no longer trusting her voice, “Shaw needs to die for what he did to us. We’re going to kill him, Charles.”

They’re faces we’re merely inches apart, chilling her to the bone as he looked at her. What she thought he would never do is what he tried the second he began to raise his hand, speaking quickly to her when he asked, “Us?”

His hand almost cupped her cheek when she turned her head away from it. Immediately, his hand froze. Charles watched her profile as more tears welled up in her eyes and her lips began to tremble. Voice weak and tearful, staring away from him, she pleaded, “Please don’t confuse me. I can’t-”

“I know you feel it,” Charles’ other hand came up to guide her face back to him despite her, whispering carefully, “But it is not your cross to bear.”

His hand was warm against her cheek. Comforting - enough to make her mind go blank. Wishful thinking, of course, because soon the clawing in her head would come back with a vengeance at having a man such as Charles touch her. For now, though, he felt safe. Stable. Enough so that she could close her eyes for a moment and let the tears fall as he leaned down to her and let his forehead press against hers. 

“You can’t help but feel his pain,” She felt his breath against her lips as he spoke, his voice the same soft and soothing as she’s known it to be, “But you can decide what you do with it.”

She shook her head gently and pulled away, but still letting Charles’ hand rest against her cheek. “It’s not just-” she whispered to him, mouth feeling dry as her eyes avoided his, trying to piece her thoughts together. His hand slid down to the base of her neck, guiding her eyes to his. She licked her lips before she swallowed. “I barely knew Darwin, but he killed him right in front of us. And it was cruel and scary and I couldn’t even make myself look at it when it happened.”

“I know.” Charles brought his other hand up to brush away slow falling tears she hadn’t even known began to escape. He voiced nothing but concern, letting her continue as if he knew what she was going to say next. 

Her hands reached up to wrap around his wrists, not to pull his hands away from her, but to simply hold onto them. Almost as if they were an anchor to make up for the tears she now felt were falling faster down her face as she realized. “For the first time, I think I want something, I feel this anger and fear, because of my head. I saw it first and I felt it first. It’s mine, and now I have a real responsibility to take care of it.”

“Not with murder.” Her hands tightened around his wrists as he brought her face closer to his own. A frown on his face as he desperately told her, “I meant it when I told you that we would figure this out together. You told me you were never your own person, that you don’t even know yourself. We were - we are - going to bring you into existence. I beg you, Y/N, don’t let yourself be brought into this world as a murderer.”

His words, as beautiful as they were, only half registered within her brain. All she found herself focusing on then was how close he was. She would think back later and come to realize that it was because the only thing making her tears stop and giving her the will not to commit a murder was the prospect of approval she would get from a man like him. From someone who could never understand her struggle, someone who never tried to or tried to make her feel as though there was some way out. From someone who wanted to build on it and show her the strength she could find within it.

Realistically, she knew he would have a few words for her if she ever outwardly admitted to him that she used approval as a means for bettering herself, but it was the best she could do at the time being.

Charles’ brows furrowed as he watched her face, spaced out and regarding him with an expression not even he could read. Somewhere deep down, though, he knew he had gotten through to her. His lips curled up slightly, speaking lowly with amusement evident in his voice, “Now where did you go?”

Her eyes shot from his lips to his eyes once more. As quick as they made eye contact, she leaned forward to press her lips against his. Lips soft, she kissed him carefully, one hand moving to cup his face. Only in the last few moments did he respond to it by kissing back.

She pulled away, looking at him nervously and letting out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding in. Her mouth was dry again. “I’m sorry-”

She was cut off by Charles’ lips on hers once more. She kissed back instantly, sighing into the kiss in content. Feeling Charles smirk against her lips and deepen the kiss, she put both hands behind his neck, pulling his body closer to hers. He took her lower lip between his teeth, pulling slightly as he let his hands trail down her body to her waist, pulling her to make sure there wasn’t the slightest gap between their bodies.

Their lips broke apart, but only long enough to allow for a quick breath. Charles pushed his lips back into hers as her hands snaked down to the collar of his dress shirt, playing carefully with the top button.

Eventually, their lips broke apart as they caught their breath. Bodies still pressed together, Charles leant forward to rest his forehead onto hers, her eyes still close, for a moment before pressing a kiss to it. He placed his chin on top of her head and rested there, her head resting against the crook of his neck as she felt him - anticipating what it would feel like to feel nothing but him.