#I'm telling you the pictures don't do these things justice
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So for the past... fifteen-ish years (I'm not precisely sure) the only hair restraint I have used, with very very rare exceptions, is the Flexi clip from Lilla Rose. In no small part because it's the only restraint that actually WORKS on my hair.
Anyway over the past... however long I've been using them, I've had two. (They're quite reasonably sturdy.)
Unfortunately my 'current' one broke last night. My own stupid fault, I shouldn't have worn it in the pool, the metal didn't like the chlorine and it stressed it and then I tried to destress it but only ended up stressing it the wrong way and... anyway. Snap.
Now this thing is not technically a necessity, in that I won't die without it, but it's also not a necessity the way diapers and toilet paper aren't exactly necessities. Theoretically they're not practically speaking they are.
I agonized for a stupidly long time last night and a friend was very patient and helpful in helping me make a decision but anyway...
Y'all look at the one I finally chose!! (I got size L)
*vibrating with excitement*
#Nattering into the void#Yes I'll shill for this company the same way I'll shill for Stash Tea#No I'm not paid off or anything#They're just really great companies with really great products#I think every person with hair should have a Lilla Rose product#Words cannot describe how much I love the Flexi clips#Lilla Rose#Flexi clip#This will also possible be the most beautiful thing I've ever owned#It is GORGEOUS#I'm telling you the pictures don't do these things justice
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Imagine Sen begging ex-husband Gojo, "Please don't tell mom!"
"Why is there a huge wolf in your dorm?" Satoru asks, bewildered.
Satoru was on business at the Kyoto school when he stopped by the dorms to visit his son. He got more than he bargained for.
To their credit, Naoki Zenin and Hikari Higuruma don't cower at the prospect of the famed Gojo Satoru catching them red-handed.
"She approached us while we were camping," Hikari explains. "We were cooking some meat and she came up with her ears pinned back and whined for some."
Satoru eyes the 150-something pound wolf. "That doesn't explain why it's indoors. And wolves went extinct in Japan more than a hundred years ago. And why is it that big?"
Sen and Nao hugged the creature around the neck. Sen says, "We think she's pregnant!"
"Still doesn't answer any of my questions."
Their line of conversation gets cut short by Satoru's phone ringing. He checks the caller ID.
"It's your mom," he tells Sen.
"Don't tell her! Please, dad, she's going to beat my ass!" Sen begs.
Satoru chuckles. "Oh, I know." He answers the call. "Hey, what's up?"
The four of them wince when your voice booms through the speaker.
"WHAT'S THIS I HEAR ABOUT SEN BRINGING A LIVE WOLF INTO THE DORMS?" you shout.
"How'd she know?" Nao mutters.
"I know it sounds bad, but--"
You cut your ex off. "Put Sen on the phone!"
Knowing that there was no escaping unless they wanted you to come down here yourself, Satoru gingerly hands his son the phone. While you have a full-volume rant about rabies and mauling and animal-borne diseases, Satoru holds up a finger and mouths, "Wait here."
He teleports away while Nao and Hikari pat Sen on the shoulder in solidarity. Hikari is about to tell Sen that he can take you off of speaker until she looks down and realizes you're not on speaker at all. You've just got the lungs of a drill sergeant.
"--rely on limitless to prevent yourself from getting bitten? Wild animals are not pets! What if there's-- Satoru, what are you doing here? I..." The trio listens with anticipation when you trail off and they hear Satoru saying something unintelligible to you.
The audio goes muffled, as if you'd put a hand over the speaker. You and Satoru exchange heated (on your side) words until you stop and huff. Then one thing from Satoru reaches the trio's ears.
"Just let me handle it. Please?"
They can feel your glare through the phone.
"You think you can just come here and bat your lashes and give me that wet puppy look and I'll cave?" you say incredulously.
"Yes. And, well. You know."
You huff and the line goes dead. A moment later, Satoru reappears.
"I've never heard anyone talk her down like that," Sen says in wonder.
Satoru shrugs. "It's a learned skill. I just showed her this picture." He hands them a polaroid.
The color is faded, but the paper is still in mint condition. Someone seemed to have taken great care of it. It reads "September 2005" and it depicts somewhere that must be the Tokyo High dorms. Satoru's visage is unmistakable, what with Sen looking exactly the same. The only difference is more babyish features, his hair, and the round sunglasses.
You looked much the same back then, too. Maybe a bit less tired-looking and with a bit more mischief in your eyes than Sen had ever remembered seeing growing up, but it was still you.
And sitting on the bed, surrounded by empty filet-o-fish wrappers strewn all over your bedroom floor, being hugged from either side by your teen selves, is a fully-grown grizzly bear.
~
Thanks for reading!
Click [here] to keep up with ex-husband Gojo and his estranged family | Ask stuff about Sen and the fam [here]
Hi, everyone! I'm back! Sorry, I was worried I was posting too much before and then I lost a little inspo. I've been having doubts about my Sen work, so I took a little break. Thank you for your support and kind words! It meant a lot! (And to the anon's who asked about reader's burn many moons ago, I haven't forgotten you, I'm just trying to do her injury justice in the fic for it.)
#gojo sentaro#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#jujutsu kaisen imagines#jjk x reader#gojo satoru x reader#jjk imagines#jujutsu kaisen x reader
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My baby used to dance underneath my architecture
What will your spouse love about you?
☆How to chose the perfect pile for you?
1) Close your eyes.
2) Clear your mind.
3) Take a deep breath.
4) Ask the question in your head. And then open your eyes and the picture you're drawn to the most is your pile.
☆ Note:
- Thank you guys for 300 followers. I'm really happy and grateful to have you all in this sacred space of my mine.
- This is a general reading for the collective or whoever read the post. So, take what resonates for you as a person.
- I usually do an energy check for each pile so that the reading can resonates as much as possible to the reader.
- In this reading we are going to know what your spouse love the most about you.
- This reading can be applied on your current partner or future spouse. Please don't read it for your crush or someone you are briefly dating; this is a totally different situations.
Lots of love ❤
Arya
Pile 1 - Last dance
Your current energy
I see that this pile is spending time with their family and specifically with an old man. It could be your grandpa or your father or someone old in your family. If not then there's a man in your family who is sick and you are taking care of them. I see that it's not going to be that serious they will get well soon, they need a little rest and everything will be alright. I see that some people in this pile have been dealing with poverty or lack of money/ financial support. I see you not doing anything about it, you feel like this thing is out of your hand. Or (another energy I'm picking up on) I feel like this pile have someone sick or died in their family and they cannot pay the hospital or funeral bills which is leading them to feel powerless and in debt (I'm so sorry if this is you). Another case I'm seeing is that this pile may lost their money on something they're addicted to; could be liquor, food, drugs (I see a thing not a person to be specific). I see also that this addiction is so strong you feel like you cannot put a boundary for and it drive your insane. You might be addicted to shopping or thrifting? Anyways, I see also that you are working so hard on that addiction because it is unhealthy for you pile 1. I asked for an advice for you and I got that you need to be more assertive about your feelings pile 1, don't let them drive you insane. I see there's an ungrounded energy here. Like someone can't set still. The cards are telling me that you need to be more assertive and take small baby steps solutions in order for you to reach where you want to be.
What will your spouse love about you?
Well, I like the energy here. I see that you are a multidimensional person with many and many layers. Your future spouse will loovvve your sense of logic. Even if you are emotional or think with your heart instead of your head. He will love how your brain works I see that he will love also how feminine and sweet you are. You might be curvy or fat but your spouse love those curves or fatness. He love how motherly you look. You see those girls who are overweight/curvy or chubby but there's something so comforting and motherly about them that you want to hug them and take care of them? That's what your spouse will love and this is how he sees you. I see that you are also someone who hates injustice, you hate how people treat each other like trash. You hate it when someone is treated unfairly in front of you. Or you might be someone who was treated unfairly because of how you look or your personality but don't worry your spouse is going to love it. Also I see that you are someone who is very assertive and you see things from a different angle. I see that you have a very structured routine that is in order. Also I see that people in this pile are quite spiritual, they believe in Karma and justice. Your spouse will literally love all of those things about you. Also I see he will love how persistent and stubborn you are. You might be someone who plant the seed, protect it, nurture it until is become a beautiful tree then you set under it to enjoy the fruit of it and it's shadow. Pile one you are an amazing person and your spouse see how much you put effort into anything and everything. You might be someone with the motto " Take care of your own garden if you want to attract butterflies and if butterflies didn't come then you have a wonderful garden to enjoy". Also I see that this pile is not afraid to walk away from situations that is not serving them anymore; I see that your spouse love how you are not too attached to them. You are not clingy pile 1 and your spouse respect that. I see that you love challenges and you embrace it with a huge smile on your face. You like to the challenge and you like the thrill and you like how much it changes you.
Placements for this pile
Aries, Taurus, Libra, Cancer, Pisces, Aquarius, Neptune, Moon, Saturn, Mercury dominant in your chart, stallium in the 1st/7th/2nd/11th/4th/12th house.
Pile 2 - smiling Christine
Your current energy
This pile is taking care of someone young like a sibling or you might be a babysitter who is working on their independence by taking care of children. I see a young adult here around 18 to 24 years old. I see that this pile is determined on making their dreams come true. You might be saving money or you started to take an action towards a hobby that might get you attention from the public, like a tiktok account or IG or any form of social media. You might be someone who was held back by limiting beliefs about yourself but that changed now and you are more confident in your ability and your talents. I see a tarot reader here or someone who is psychic or a witch like me (hello fellow witches, tarot readers or psychics). I see that you are discovering your talents finally and working on either to get noticed by the public for them or to improve them before you become a celebrity or known person for that talent. I see also that there's someone here who is learning about their roots or your own culture. Your parents might moved to another country and never really had the chance to introduce you to your culture but now you are allowing yourself as an adult to get to know your roots and culture. Another thing I'm picking up on is that people in this pile are very independent, they do their own thing, take care of themselves but there's this nostalgic feeling to your childhood or when you were a child. I see also that you might be someone who their grandparents was your entire childhood. Like they might have took care of you or you grew up around them. I see that for some of you; your grandmother was a witch or a healer or knows alot of tarot or astrology. And if not then she might be so familiar with religion (any nothing specific) and you took this gift from her and now your psychic abilities or gifts are being developed. Hey! Also I'm picking up on something else pile 2, the wheel of fortune is finally spinning your way. So, if you have been unlucky in your life then the luck is on your side from now on. I see that you worked very hard on yourself and now everything is going to be the way you dreamed of wanted. I see also that your dreams carry a significant meaning or warning do not ignore them okay?
What will your spouse love about you?
Okay, your spouse is going to love how patient you are. You might be someone who things never really worked out for them or your spouse's life was really that good until you entered their life and boom everything turned out to be soooo good. I think because you are a healer or a witch then you have a good karma to you or your energy is so uplifting that your spouse's life got turned upside down for the better after you entered his life. I see that you are literally that girl who is very nurturing, caring and gentle. I'm picking up on capricorn placements. You are someone who is the boss (and no one is going to handle this side of you like your spouse). I see that you might be someone who is business oriented, you are someone who is very practical. I'm picking up on someone with earth mercury, no one can fool you because you can freaking find out. I see also that you are not really afraid of loneliness, you can easily turn it into solitude and enjoy your time (queen I respect that 💋👑). I see also that you are very loyal and marriage/ relationship material. You might be someone who gives a lot of dating advice to your friends and get the ick from people who date dusties. I also see that you are so sexy or controlling. You know those jealous wifey or girlfriends who are very controlling and obsessed with their partner? You might be one of them and your spouse ADORE that!. Anyways, I see also that you might be too attached to your spouse and he love it. I'm getting pluto-venus aspects in your chart. I'm also hearing obsessed and loyal and your spouse love that. Idk why but I feel like this person will love your private area or how sensual you are. There's something sexual here that I shouldn't write but I will anyways. This person love how your private area feels on his pepe and if you are a man or masculine then you are going to love how she feels (if you know what I mean), I guess he like to stay inside and enjoy or he might stay there a little longer just to be close. I feel like this pile is shy too and you look adorable when you get shy and blush.
Placements for this pile
Virgo, Cancer, Aries, Capricorn, Saturn, Taurus, mercury in earth sign, mercury, jupiter, venus dominant in your chart, stallium in the 1st/2nd/10th/4th/6th house. Pluto-venus making aspects in your chart.
Pile 3 - Christine in front of a mirror
Your current energy
Oh, I feel so sorry for this pile. Guys you might be dealing with a lot right now. I see that you are carrying your emotional baggage on your back refusing to let it go. I see that this pile are very overwhelmed by those emotions. I feel like there's a relationship with someone with Aquarius placements that really ended but you are refusing to believe that this person is gone and will never return. I see that you are nostalgic to them and you miss them a lot. You miss when you both were together having fun and hanging out. You are refusing to let this person go because you think they are the one but they are not. It is not necessary that this relationship is karmic. But I'm seeing that you are refusing to heal and move on you are literally getting yourself stuck by your own hands. Please try to rewire your brain, trick it to think that you'll be fine without that person. I see this lack will be over because your spirit angel is telling me that your soulmate will soon enter your life pile 3! How wonderful. This person will be blonde, chubby and cute. He will take care of you. Also, they are telling me that you need to put a FULL STOP to that situation/connection and stop hanging there in hope that the ex/old person will return. Your soulmate will soon be in your life how magnificent is that? Anyways what you actually need more than anything is to understand that life is abundant of choices and that one person was a lesson for you to grow and learn something new. Spirits are encouraging you to learn how to put boundaries (healthy ones) and do not get too attached to that person or the new one. You need to love them and embrace that feeling without getting attached to them. That's how love works, you chose to love a person but you are not attached to them. No, you are fine without them and everything is alright. Also try to get out of your comfort zone. Learn about detachment and your attachment style so you can love freely.
God bless you pile 3 I wish you healing and peace.
What will your spouse love about you?
Hehe, I see that your spouse love how quarrelsome you are. You like to debate with them. You like the thrill of proving your point of view. I feel like you are an ENTP Idk why I get that feeling. I see also might be someone who is balanced and connected to the higher source of power or God. You might be someone with active crown chakra, you are not attached to material things like other people. Like you know that you were born to die, listen to born to die by Lana Del Rey if you want to. I see that you may be your spouse's type. I see that this man is literally manifested you. I'm also picking up on the lyric of "I'm your dream come true" feather by Sabrina Carpenter. You are this person's dream come true. Also you might be someone who is firm and still. There's this firmness and stillness in your opinions and views that can't really be changed. You are a predictable person and your spouse love how he can predict your actions. I also see that you are very independent and you have your own things and your own life. The keyboard typed wlw (woman love woman) so you might be in a same sex relationship too. Anyways, what your spouse doesn't really like is how much you carry on your shoulder. You might be someone who was hyper independent or was single for a very long time that you cannot allow your spouse to help you. I'm picturing someone who used to do alot of things alone and never really dated anyone for a long time so you are used to doing your things for yourself. I see also that you might like traveling? Or you love to learn about cultures? Yeah it can be a thing. I also see that your spouse can be from a different city or different country. The cards are telling me that you are very childish and naive or look like that. You might be someone who experienced poverty or lack of money or financial stability. Your spouse want you to know that he is going to spoil you rotten and take care of you. Also he want you to know that both of you will build an empire together so keep yourself open for that. I see also that your spouse is a master manifesto sooo he probably manifested someone like you into his life. There's something here about your looks, he might also like how you look like. I see that he will have his venus in your ascendant or your mars in his ascendant because the chemistry between you two is undeniable.
Placements for this pile
Sagittarius, Gemini, Leo, Aries, Pisces, Cancer, Jupiter, mars, mercury, moon as dominant planets in your chart. Stallium in the 9th/1st/4th/3rd/5th/12th house. For the mbti ENTP, ENFP and ESFP.
Pile 4 - Enchanting Vanity
Your current energy
Hmmm okay, this pile here is being pursued or confused between two people. I see that you might be liking someone for how they look and the other because of their money or because you see something with them in the future. There's conflict here and it is in you pile 4. This pile, I believe that they are being confused between those two people and who is their twin flame. You might be mistaken your twin flame for someone who is not or the opposite. Like, you might think that this is not your twin flame but they are. I see also that you are very restless. And you cannot truly see who is your person. The cards are advising you take time alone and reflect on your values. I see that you are afraid to be alone and independent. You are afraid to show your weakness and vulnerable side to people which lead you to overthink or obsess over the outcome. So, I guess it is better for you pile 4 to just set alone and face that. Face your fears or vulnerability and don't obsess over the outcome. Also this pile is like pile 3, they need to detach and practice mindfulness in order for them to see the truth. I will give you a tip about detachment; all you have to do is to imagine that what you are going through is a story someone is telling you. Then use logic to analyze the story that the imaginary person have told you to decide whether you should or shouldn't take an action or not and if not action then a solution. Imagine for example, that a friend came to you for a problem, how will you help them? Will you take a step back to see the bigger picture? What is a good solution you will give to that friend? And so on and so forth. About the two people you are seeing, reflect on your values and see who exactly have the similar values as you. I'm also seeing one of them is cancer and the other is taurus and if not then you might have those placements. I'm pretty sure that the universe is going to guide you towards a solution, you need to be open I order to see the synchronicity that is going to give you the answer.
What will your spouse love about you?
I see that this pile work really hard to keep themselves fit and in a good shape. You might be someone who was overweight previously and you work very hard to not go back to what you were. Your spouse love and respect how you take care of yourself. He love how you care about your health. I see also he hate to see you overthinking but love it when you allow yourself to be vulnerable in front of them. The cards also are telling me that your spouse love how you forgive people and move on, you might be someone who is not spiteful towards people who hurt you, you heal and wish them to heal instead of hating on them nonstop. I see that you don't forget but you forgive. I see also that you have this inner power to you that make your spouse go insane for you. You might be someone who is into manifestations and the law of attraction and other stuff related to this. You might even manifested this person and he is in awe of you. I see that you are very patient, very strong headed. What is yours will find you and you do not chase you attract. He might love your family or your roots or your culture. I see a culture difference here like pile 3 so go read it if you want to. Anyways, I see that he also admire your private part and if you are a man then she might like your thing. I see that they (your spouse) will LOVE your area so much and think that it is sooo feminine. You might be someone who knows how to take care of that place and you keep it shaved and clean. I'm also picking up on hygiene, so you might be someone who always shower and keep themselves shaved and fresh. You might use expensive perfume or you just looveee to shower yourself with perfume after you finish showering. You might also have a long body care routine like those pretty girls on YouTube. All of those stuff is really something very admirable by your spouse. You might be someone who is quite adventurous and any chance to travel somewhere is un-wasted by you. Like you can't set still in one place for a long time. You need to travel and discover. You are very open to try a lot of things. Open to cultures, you like to try new different food, different places, and you cannot handle the idea of staying in the same place always.
Sorry if this pile was short the messages was straight forward.
Placements for this pile
Earth placements (taurus, virgo and capricorn). Gemini, cancer, moon, venus, Saturn, mars as dominant planets. Stallium in the 10th/6th/2nd/4th/3rd house in your chart.
Post date: Fri- 13t of sep/2024
*Feedback is appreciated
#free divination#free tarot#pick a card#pick a pile#tarot community#divination#divination readings#metaphysical#occult#tarot pac#pick a picture#future spouse#future spouse pac#pac future spouse
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Kisses marks on their skzoo
Pairing: Ot8 skz × Gn!reader (individually)
Genre: fluff, reaction
Request: how would BF!SKZ react to seeing a kiss mark on their SKZoo?
Warnings: hyunjin and Felix can be read as low-key suggestive but it wasn't the intention? Reader gets teased in most of those
A/n: this picture of Lee know😭😭 btw I have a feeling that some things here are extremely cringe or extremely good I'm so so sorry in advance | taglist: @yuyubeans
Bang Chan
Oh my God
I hope you're ready to be teased for months
I can see him smirking at the moment he sees wolfchan with a kiss mark on its forehead
Will laugh a little bit because he actually thinks you're the cutest for that
Will come to you and suddenly wrap you in a back hug and kiss your shoulder with little to no explanation
"Y'know, next time you miss me you can just come to me and kiss me in person."
Lee Know
Contrary to popular belief, I think he'd be the shy one here lmao
He has no idea on how he should react
Just laughs a bit with that panic voice he has and hopes you won't come for him
If that happens more than once though, he won't be under the initial shock anymore
So now you can prepare yourself for all the teasing
"I need to level up my boyfriend game if you preferred to kiss a plushie over me twice now."
Changbin
Side eyes the dwaekki
Demand kisses immediately
Why on earth are you kissing a plushie when you literally have a boyfriend next to you??
Who is always more than willing to kiss you any time??
The audacity I swear
"I don't care if it looked cute, you could've been kissing me all this time instead."
Hyunjin
He's not exactly teasing
He's kinda lightly joking around
At first he was being dramatic about how you don't love him anymore and that's why you are replacing him with jinniret
But once you start to get flustered he switches up
Chuckles about how he finds you lovely
"You can make up by kissing me with that same lipstick of yours, what you think?"
Han
The only scenario you have some sort of advantage
Because when I tell you that he's stressing it's because he IS
You ask him why he's acting all weird and then he's stuttering about how everything is alright
Will try to play it cool so you don't notice the reason behind all of this is his skzoo having a very red kiss mark on its cheek
"Kiss? What do you mean kiss? I have no idea what you're talking about. Pay attention to the movie Y/n."
Felix
Lmao
I believe this is the worst case
He'd have no mercy upon you
But he wouldn't be joking around or trying to tease you
He would be flustering you
Will kiss you until he takes your breath away and then will proceed to move his kisses to your neck
"What is wrong? I thought you wanted kisses?"
Seungmin
You've created a monster
Lmao he will never shut up about this
Deep down he thought it was cute how you liked him that much
But he really didn't want to lose the opportunity to mess up with you (affectionately)
"Minnie, I miss you. Don't you wanna come over?"
"Is the skzoo not doing justice to me?"
"Suddenly I don't miss you anymore."
I.N
Now this one is kinda funny
He will tease you so much about this
But it's so subtle that you don't even know what he's talking about
He seems to be pretty entertained though
"Oh it seems that you didn't miss me that much this time." - he says a few days later, while he holds the now clean skzoo in his hands and you have no idea why he's laughing so much.
Dividers by @saradika-graphics
Reblogs and feedback are always appreciated!!
#kinda forgot to put tags on this one 💀#stray kids#skz fluff#skz#stray kids fluff#stray kids soft hours#stray kids soft thoughts#skz x reader#skz x you#stray kids x reader#lee know#lee know fluff#bang chan#bang chan fluff#hyunjin#hyunjin fluff#changbin#changbin fluff#i.n#i.n fluff#jeongin fluff#felix#felix fluff#seungmin#seungmin fluff#han#han fluff#celi headcanons
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Christopher Brown’s ‘A Natural History of Empty Lots’
On SEPTEMBER 24th, I'll be speaking IN PERSON at the BOSTON PUBLIC LIBRARY!
Christopher Brown is an accomplished post-cyberpunk sf writer, a tech lawyer with a sideline in public interest environmental law, the proud owner of one of the most striking homes I have ever seen, and an urban pastoralist who writes about wildlife in ways I've never seen and can't get enough of:
https://fieldnotes.christopherbrown.com/
All of these facets of Brown's identity come together today with the launch of A Natural History of Empty Lots: Field Notes from Urban Edgelands, Back Alleys and other Wild Places:
https://christopherbrown.com/a-natural-history-of-empty-lots/
This is a frustratingly hard to summarize book, because it requires a lot of backstory and explanation, and one of the things that makes this book so! fucking! great! is how skillfully Brown weaves all that stuff into his telling. Which makes me feel self-conscious as I try to summarize things, because there's no way I'll do this as well as he did, but whatever, here goes.
Brown is a transplant from rural Iowa to Austin, where he set out to start a family, practice tech law during the dotcom boom, and write science fiction, as part of a circle of writers loosely associated with cyberpunk icon @brucesterling. After both the economy and his marriage collapsed, Brown started his restless perambulations around Austin's abandoned places, sacrifice zones, the bones of failed housing starts and abandoned dot-crash office parks.
When he did, something changed in him. Slowly, his eyes learned to see things that they had just skipped over. Plants, animals, and spoor and carapaces and dens of all description, all around him, a secret world. These were not pockets of "wilderness" in the city, but they were pockets of wildness. Birds' nests woven with plastic fibers scavenged from nearby industrial dumpsters; trees taking root in half-submerged tires rolled into a creekbed, foxes and rodents playing out a real-life version of the classic ecosystem simulation exercise on the edge of an elevated highway that fills the same function as the edge of a woodland where predator and prey meet.
As Brown fell in love again – with the artist and architect Agustina Rodriguez – he conceived of a genuinely weird and amazing plan to build a house. A very weird house, in a very weird place. He bought a plot of wasteland that had once housed the head-end of an oil pipeline (connected to a nearby oil-storage facility that poisoned the people who lived near it, in an act of wanton environmental racism) and had been used as a construction-waste dump for years.
After securing an extremely unlikely loan, Brown remediated the plot, excavating the oil pipeline, then building the most striking home you have ever seen in the resulting trench. Brown is a pal of mine, and this is where I stay when I'm in Austin, and I can promise you, the pictures don't do it justice:
https://www.texasmonthly.com/style/christopher-brown-edgeland-house-austin/
Formally, A Natural History of Empty Lots is a memoir that explains all of this. But not really. Like I say, this is just the back story. What Natural History really is, is a series of loosely connected essays that explains how everything fits together: colonial conquest, Brown's failed marriage, his experience as a lawyer learning property law, what he learned by mobilizing that learning to help his neighbors defend the pockets of wildness that refuse to budge.
It's an erudite book, skipping back through millennia of history, sidewise through the ecology of Texas, all while somehow serving as a kind of spotter's guide to the wild things you can see in Austin – and maybe, in your town – if you know how to look. It's a book about how people change the land, and how the land changes people. It is filled with pastoral writing that summons Kim Stanley Robinson by way of Thoreau, and it sometimes frames its philosophical points the way a cyberpunk writer would – like Neal Stephenson writing a cyberpunk trilogy that is also the story of Leibniz and Newton fighting over credit for inventing calculus:
https://memex.craphound.com/2004/11/20/neal-stephensons-system-of-the-world-concludes-the-baroque-trilogy/
Brown is a stupendous post-cyberpunk writer, and also a post-cyberpunk person, which I've known for sure since I happened upon him one morning, thoughtfully mowing his roof with a scythe:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/doctorow/46433979075/
You can get a sense of what that means in this lockdown-era joint presentation that Chris, Bruce Sterling and I did on "cyberpunk and post-cyberpunk":
https://archive.org/details/asl-cyberpunk
Brown is a spectacular novelist. His ecofascist civil war trilogy that opens with Tropic of Kansas got so much right about the politics of American demagoguery and was perfectly timed with the Trump presidency:
https://memex.craphound.com/2017/07/11/tropic-of-kansas-making-america-great-again-considered-harmful/
The sequel, Rule of Capture, uses the device of courtroom drama in a way that comes uncomfortably close to the Orwell/Kafka mashup that the authorities have created to deal with environmental protesters:
https://memex.craphound.com/2019/08/12/rule-of-capture-inside-the-martial-law-tribunals-that-will-come-when-climate-deniers-become-climate-looters-and-start-rendering-environmentalists-for-offshore-torture/
And the final volume, Failed State, is one of the most complicated complicated utopias you could ask for. This is what people mean by "thrilling conclusion":
https://pluralistic.net/2020/08/12/failed-state/#chris-brown
As brilliant as Brown is in fiction mode, his nonfiction is unclassifiably, unforgettably brilliant. A Natural History of Empty Lots is the kind of book that challenges how you feel about the crossroads we're at, the place you live, and the place you want to be.
The paperback edition of The Lost Cause, my nationally bestselling, hopeful solarpunk novel is out this month!
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/09/17/cyberpunk-pastoralism/#time-to-mow-the-roof
#pluralistic#books#reviews#gift guide#pastoralism#environmentalism#ecology#cyberpunk#austin#texas#climate#christopher brown#conservation#urbanism#ecosocialism#architecture#environmental racism#writing
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Propaganda
Margaret Lindsay (Frisco Kid, The House of the Seven Gables, Scarlet Street)—she was born in Dubuque, Iowa, then moved to England to make her stage debut. She framed herself as a British actress and moved back to America to try Hollywood, then starred with James Cagney in a bunch of movies. She was in the Ellery Queen movie series and The House of the Seven Gables. She never married (I suspect lesbian stuff) but lived with her sisters. She dated Cesar Romero and Liberace (I told you. Lesbian stuff.) Please include the pic of her in the tie [included above]
Mae West (She Done Him Wrong, I'm No Angel)—She is an absolute icon, the OG sex symbol. Every word from her mouth was an innuendo and she was proud of it. I guess one could say she slayed. She got Cary Grant his first acting role, as well. How could you NOT vote for someone who says such iconic stuff as "I do all my writing in bed; everybody knows I do my best work there" or "You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough." SHE COINED THE PHRASE "IS THAT A GUN IN YOUR POCKET OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME?" I LOVE HER!!!
This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.
[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]
Margaret Lindsay:
Mae West:
Her voice! Her body! She was thick as hell and SO confident.
Mae West is often called the queen of the sexual pun or innuendo, she was an early sex symbol and a comedy icon. She also has a quote saying "When I am good, I am very good. But when I am bad I am better!" which is possibly the peak of hot girl energy ever. (Including the clip here)
for an era that didn't have much wiggle room when it came to women that studios wanted in their films, it's refreshing that she was in her late 30s when she skyrocketed to movie fame. she was also curvy and witty and raunchy, an absolute icon!
Legendary sex symbol. Like 500 vintage iconic quotes and double entendres. "Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? " "When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad, I'm better" / "It's not the men in your life that count, it's the life in your men" / "I feel like a million tonight. But one at a time." , "Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution. " / " How tall are you without your horse? Six foot, seven inches. Never mind the six feet. Let's talk about the seven inches! " Look the pictures don't do her justice just watch a compilation and tell me that voice doesn't do it for you
youtube
She was a SEX GODDESS at a time when that was an extremely scandalous thing to be, and she worked it! She was sardonic, sarcastic, funny...and stacked! Favorite quote (from Night After Night, 1933): Random woman: Goodness! What beautiful diamonds! Mae West: Goodness had nothin' to do with it, dearie.
i personally love this silly production number from one of her lesser known movies
She was arrested for indecency and chose to serve 10 days in prison instead of paying the fine for the publicity, and she claimed that she refused to wear the ugly prison outfits so she wore her silk lingerie the entire time. Also one of the first historybound vintage fashion icons (although vintage for her was the Victorian era)
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Caught Up in Your Trap
Pairing: dark!Andy Barber x f!reader
Word Count: 5.4k
Summary: You spend your first day in your new home. Part of the Trapped AU.
Warnings: Dark elements, kidnapping, human trafficking, drugging, training, punishment, isolation, injury, forced intimacy - Just trust me when I say that this is dark. All of my work is 18+ - Minors DNI
Dividers by @saradika-graphics
Masterlist
A/N: Oh my god, you guys. Uh, happy sin day, I guess?? 🤣 Because I am apparently incapable of just leaving a one-shot alone, this is a prequel to I Don't Want a Lot for Christmas spurred by some unhinged 4 AM thots. It is definitely the darkest thing I've written so far. Whoops.
Big thanks as always to @paperweight91 who was not only the fantastic sounding board she always is, and let me ramble on about all my research into furnaces of all things but also helped me figure out the title for both this fic and the greater AU it's now a part of (🤦🏻♀️ Seriously, Kris, just stop!). Hat tip to Bruce Springsteen for both, as well. I'm sure he'd be thrilled. 😂
Any comment, reblog, or ask to let me know what you think will be greatly appreciated. Even if it's just screeching at me. As always, thank you so much for reading! 💜
Andy pulled up at the address he’d been given, more surprised than he should have been that it was an abandoned warehouse. Of course, this sort of deal would be completed there. He should have known from the sorts of channels he’d had to go through to set it up. Connections left over from his days in the DA’s office. Well, that wasn’t the side of the law he was on anymore.
He walked into the large open space that made up most of the building to find a man standing in the middle of a few folding chairs. He had a neatly trimmed mustache and was wearing sharp but tight clothing. He wasn’t who caught Andy’s attention, though. No, that was you, slumped over in one of the chairs, wearing the clothes you must have been taken in. Even like this, he could tell your pictures hadn’t done you justice. You were absolutely perfect. Or you would be, once he was done.
“Barber!” the man called out, a satisfied smirk raising his mustache. “How nice of you to join us!”
“Hansen,” Andy answered evenly. He nodded at you, “She ok?”
“Oh, she’s fine. Just on enough horse tranqs to move her across the country without her realizing it. She’ll only be out for another day or so.”
Andy walked over to you. “I’m sure you don’t mind if I check for myself. With the amount of money I’m paying you.” Hansen gestured for him to go ahead, so he placed a gentle hand on the pulse in your neck, pleased to feel that it was strong and steady. He took a step back and opened the untraceable banking app on his phone. He clicked the transfer button, moving an ungodly amount of money from his numbered account in the Caymans to the account Lloyd had given him. “Alright,” he said, “the money’s in your account.”
The other man snapped his fingers and someone appeared out of the shadows, holding a tablet. “And I’m sure you don’t mind,” Hansen said as the new man tapped his screen, “if I check for myself. With the amount of work I’ve done for you.”
They all waited in tense silence for the confirmation of the transfer to come through. Andy couldn’t take his eyes off you, eager to finally get you home. After everything he’d been through, this was what he deserved. The perfect wife, the perfect family, the perfect life. And he was going to do it right this time, taking full control until he had exactly what he wanted. Nothing left to chance. It was costing him a pretty penny, but it was worth it.
The man with the tablet nodded at Hansen, who clapped his hands together. “Alright!” he said. “Let’s get this done. My men will get her settled in your car while we finish up.” Two more men came out from the edge of the room and started to put their hands on you. Andy couldn’t help the growl that came out of him. Hansen laughed. “Don’t worry, Mr. ADA, they won’t hurt your precious new wife. You have my word.”
Andy gave a hesitant nod, as they carried you out of the warehouse, clicking the unlock button on his car fob so that they could get you settled. He didn’t take his eyes off you until you were gone.
Hansen reached down and picked up a thick folder. “Everything you’ll need is in here. Everything for her new identity, all in order, all immaculate. Marriage license. Anything from her old life you might need. Although I’d get what you need from those quickly and then burn them.”
Andy took the folder and briefly paged through it. New birth certificate, social security card, IDs, passport. Everything he’d need to start your new life. He put the folder in his briefcase. “Thank you. Anything else?”
Hansen smirked again. “Eager to get started?” He leered in the direction you’d disappeared. “Can’t say I blame you.”
Andy cleared his throat, not appreciating the way Hansen was talking about what was his. “Yes, I would like to get us both home. Are we done here?”
“Sure sure. You have a good time now,” he smirked.
Andy gave him a curt nod and then exited in the direction Hansen’s men had taken you. There was no sign of them by his car, but you were laid out across the backseat. He opened the door and leaned in to brush a gentle finger across your cheek. He wouldn’t be able to relax until you were secured inside his home. It was so close now.
This wasn’t your room. You’d woken up some time ago (you couldn’t say how long ago exactly. There were no clocks, no windows) in the most comfortable bed you’d ever felt. You thought it might swallow you up, it was so soft. Luxurious. The whole room was that way. Beautiful. Rich. You were dressed in a satin nightgown that wasn’t at all like anything you owned. You tried very hard not to think about the fact that someone must have changed you. The door was locked from the outside, a small keypad right under the doorknob. You tried banging on the door. Yelling for someone. Nothing. A quick exploration of the room hadn’t yielded anything either – the two other doors were also locked, a dresser held only men’s clothing. So you’d spent the last who knows how long just laying in the bed, trying not to panic or cry. You weren’t very successful at either.
The most disturbing thing you’d discovered since you’d woken up here was the set of rings on your left hand. One featured a large diamond, the other was a simpler band filled with comparatively tiny diamonds. The bands were fused together like you remembered your mom’s engagement and wedding rings being. It took a long time to normalize your breathing after that discovery.
Just as you were about to drift asleep again, for want of anything else to do, you heard a few soft beeps, the lock click, and the doorknob move. You leaped up and huddled in the far corner of the room between the wall and the bed, holding a pillow in front of you. There was nothing else in the room to use to defend yourself. Even the lamps were bolted down – you’d checked.
The door slowly opened and a man walked in. He was tall, over 6 feet, and broad. He had dark, soft-looking hair, and a well-kept beard. He wore a gray cotton tee and jeans. If your adrenaline hadn’t been spiking, you would have found him so handsome. But as it was, you pushed yourself further into the corner.
He was carrying a tray, which he set down on one of the nightstands. From your vantage point, you could see a glass of water and a bowl. You weren’t feeling inclined to take anything from this man.
Your eyes cautiously tracked him as he came around to the foot of the bed. “How are you feeling?” he asked, his voice deep but gentle.
You didn’t say anything, just kept watching him. He leveled you with a stern look that sent a chill down your spine. His voice was much more rigid when he said, “I expect an answer when I ask a question, sweetheart.”
You ignored him again, instead asking, “Who are you?”
He took a deep breath, flexing both hands. Extreme irritation passed over his face before it was replaced with a practiced calm. He sat at the foot of the bed and patted the space next to him. “Come sit,” he said. You didn’t move. “Now,” he growled. Something in his tone made it clear, not only that he would move you himself if he had to, but even more so, that you didn’t want it to come to that. You got up and sat on the far edge of the bed. He reached over and grabbed your arm hard, dragging you into his side. You cried out but he shushed you. “Alright,” he said, “I will answer your question once you answer mine. How are you feeling?”
This was the most scared you’d ever been. You had to take a few deep breaths before you were able to say. “I have a headache and I’m a little nauseous. And I’m very scared.”
He gently took your hand in his and cooed at you. “That’d be the drugs they used to knock you out. You’ll feel better when they’re completely out of your system. Eating will help. You can have some soup once we’re done talking.” He paused, for what you didn’t know. You didn’t say anything. He smiled. “You can ask your question now. Good girl waiting for permission.”
Your head swung to look at him. That hadn’t been what you were doing. Had it? You were woozy and scared and just trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. That was most important, so you let his comment go and repeated your question. “Who are you?”
He squeezed your hand. “I’m your husband, sweetheart. My name is Andy.”
That was the answer you’d been terrified of since you’d seen the rings on your finger. He was fucking crazy. He had to be. The best you could do right now was to get as much information out of him as you could. “And where are we? Is this your house?” You were trying to keep your voice steady, but you could hear the tremor in it.
“This is our house, sweetheart. Just outside Boston.”
Your eyes widened and your heart rate picked up in panic. “Boston?? No– That’s– How did I get here?!” This was even worse than you thought. You were nowhere near home, nowhere near anything familiar.
He just looked at you for a moment with narrowed eyes. Then he nodded and said, “Ok, I’m going to be honest and explain it to you, because I think it will help you understand your place here. But in the future, you need to know that I don’t appreciate having to explain myself. Good wives don’t question their husband's actions. Now, since I’m going out of my way to make this clear for you, I expect you to sit quietly and listen. Can you do that for me?”
You clenched your hands into fists, wanting to rage at him for how he was speaking to you like a child, but you knew you needed this information. You needed everything you could get if you were going to get out of here, so you tried to control your breathing and nodded.
He looked at you like he wanted to scold you for something, but then visibly changed his mind and began. “I’ve had a hard life, the last few years especially, I’ve been through a lot. Things haven’t turned out the way they were supposed to. I wanted a family. I thought I had one, but– It wasn’t how it was supposed to be, and then I lost even that. I wanted to try again, but I couldn’t put in all that effort without a guarantee that I wouldn’t wind up with nothing again.
“I’m a lawyer. I used to work as an ADA and now I’m in defense. In both jobs, I’ve made a lot of connections with people from different walks of life. Through that, I found a man who provides a service – if you let him know what you’re looking for, he’ll find you a person who fills those needs. So I told him that I was looking for someone to build a family with, a good wife. He presented me with a few options, and I chose you. For a hefty price, his men picked you up and brought you here. They also put together all new paperwork for you, a whole new identity. The old you doesn’t exist anymore, do you understand? You’re Mrs. Barber now, property of your husband. I bought and paid for you. I own you, every part of you.”
You saw his hand start to move toward your thigh and you jumped up, quickly pressing yourself against the wall. You just stared at him for a moment and then the panic truly hit you, but this time, it was accompanied by blinding anger. “That’s human trafficking, you complete fucking psycho! The fuck is wrong with you?!” Once you’d started screaming, you couldn’t stop. “You can’t just buy a wife, you fucking cuck! I’m a person! People are going to look for me!” He stood up and came at you and you swung out with your fists, your nails, your knees, whatever you fucking could. You connected a few times, drew a grunt from him before he somehow pinned your wrists behind your back. You screamed as loud as you could, but it did nothing.
He frog-marched you out of the room as he said, “I was hoping we wouldn’t have to do this so soon, but you need a timeout, honey. Some time to calm down in the quiet room, and then we can try again and go over the rules. You just need some time to think by yourself.”
You tried to pay attention as he pushed you through what looked like a little apartment: a living room, a kitchenette. He stopped at an innocuous-looking door with a keypad on it, just like the one in the bedroom. He turned you away so you couldn’t see as he entered the code, one hand still keeping your wrists in a bruising grip. Before you’d even realized he’d opened the door, he was shoving you into the room so hard you briefly left the ground. The door slammed shut behind you. You hit the floor hard and groaned. You stumbled up onto your hands and knees. You heard another beep, then the grinding of a lock. Then nothing.
The room was pitch black. You weren’t even sure where the door was now, as there wasn’t any light coming through the cracks. You crawled around, trying to get an idea of the space. It was small and empty as far as you could tell. But there was a low rumbling noise that seemed to fill the room. You couldn’t pinpoint the source just from listening, it felt like it was coming from everywhere. The floor under your hands was bare, concrete. Your hands brushed through cobwebs and other detritus you couldn’t see. You cautiously held a hand out as you continued to try to map out the room, terrified you’d smack your face right into the wall. It made contact with something hot and sharp. You pulled it back with a hiss, pain radiating through your palm. You felt the first few wet drops. Shit. You were bleeding. You’d cut yourself. Fuck. “Hey!” you called out as loud as you could. There was no answer. “Hey!” you tried again, “I’m hurt! I’m bleeding!” No response. “WHAT THE FUCK?” You were screaming now. “YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! LET ME OUT!” Nothing. God, this room was already lightproof, maybe it was soundproof, too. He wouldn’t be able to hear you, wouldn’t know you were hurt. You couldn’t tell how badly you’d cut your hand so you raised it above your head, hoping that might at least slow down the bleeding. It was dirty you were sure. God, how long did it take for cuts to get infected? You hoped you wouldn’t find out. You didn’t even know what you’d cut it on. What if it was rusty? Shit, when was your last tetanus booster? You couldn’t remember exactly. Fuck. You really didn’t want to die from tetanus in some random basement in Massachusetts. A tear rolled down your cheek. He couldn’t leave you in here too long, could he? No. He would come get you soon.
You had no idea how long you’d been sitting in the dark, your knees pulled up to your chest, one arm wrapped around them, the other still held in the air. Your shoulder was so sore, but you were too worried to lower your hand. You wished you could see the cut, know exactly how bad it was. You wished you knew how much time had passed. With no frame of reference, no external indicators, you were afraid you’d lost the ability to tell the difference between hours and minutes. It’d been hours. It had to have been hours. How long was he going to leave you here? He had to come back soon. He had to. You took some perverse comfort in the fact that he’d spent a lot of money on you. That had to mean that he wouldn’t just leave you here. He’d want a return on his investment. You tried to ignore the chills that thought gave you.
You’d been crying on and off. It made you feel pathetic but what else were you supposed to do? The panic, too, ebbed and flowed. You’d been trying to keep your breathing even, trying to ignore how small the space was, how dirty, how dark. Deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. It wasn’t doing much to calm you, but at least it gave you something to focus on.
Just as a fresh wave of tears overtook you, a blinding light came in, directly opposite you. You squinted and raised your uninjured hand in front of your eyes, but that didn’t do much to help.
“Oh sweetheart,” Andy’s voice cooed, before gently lifting you by your arms and herding you out. He half-carried you through the finished part of the basement while your eyes continued to adjust. Before you knew it, you were back in the bedroom you’d started in. He gently sat you down on the edge of the bed and crouched in front of you. You felt dazed. The room was too bright. You didn’t know how you could keep breaking the record for the most scared you’d ever been. There had to be a ceiling, a limit. You’d hit it soon, wouldn’t you?
You still had your hand raised and cradled to your chest. Andy touched your wrist and you flinched. He raised an eyebrow in question and you whispered, “I got hurt.” He sighed and gently tugged at your wrist again. This time you let him guide your arm down, moving your hand so you both could see it. It was a little grimy and definitely red, slightly swollen maybe. There was a little dried blood, but not much. The cut was so much more shallow than you’d imagined when you were trapped in that room alone. You felt incredibly foolish. You’d thought you were going to lose your hand over a glorified paper cut.
Andy carefully moved his thumb over a raised patch under the cut that you now realized was a minor burn. “Did you touch the furnace?” The furnace – that’s what’d been making that noise. That’s what you’d cut yourself on. That’s where he’d thrown you. What the fuck? You were lucky you hadn’t hurt yourself even worse. You looked up from your hand to see him frowning at you. “Why would you do that? Sweetheart, you have to be more careful. That was a very stupid thing to do.” He got up and walked into the ensuite, opening a cabinet under the sink.
Was he seriously scolding you for getting hurt in a dangerous room he’d locked you in?? The rage from earlier was starting to return, but it was still tempered by your fear. You did your best to keep your voice even when you replied, “It was completely dark in there. I couldn’t see anything.” A little growl came through your words, but it wasn’t anything compared to what you were actually feeling.
He came back holding a small first-aid kit. “Well then that’s a good reason to keep your hands to yourself, isn’t it?” He sat down and opened the kit, pulling out a few wipes and beginning to somewhat roughly clean your hand. “Sweetheart, I’m here to take care of you. That’s my job as your husband. But I need you to be a good girl and not put yourself in harm’s way.”
“You threw me in there!” you said, your voice starting to get louder, despite your best efforts to keep calm.
“Because you were bad and needed a time-out!” he yelled back at you. He threw the dirty wipes into the trashcan beside the bed and took a deep breath, visibly calming himself. He grabbed an ointment from the kit and began applying it to your hand. “That’s why we’re going to talk about rules now. They’re there to keep you safe and both of us happy. When you don’t follow them, something like this can happen.”
You didn’t say anything. You had to be smart if you were ever going to get out of here and antagonizing him wasn’t smart. He didn’t seem to expect a response anyway as he just silently placed a bandage on your hand and then got up and put the kit away. He came back and sat right next to you, turning so he could look into your eyes. You tried to turn your head away, but he grabbed your chin and forced eye contact.
“Alright,” he said, his tone already so fucking patronizing. “A good thing that came out of your little tantrum is that now we know the areas we need to focus on most for improvement – manners, respect, and attitude. I did some thinking during your quiet time too, and I’ve adjusted your training schedule to focus on these things. It’ll be good for both of us.”
What the actual fucking fuck? “Training schedule?” was all you managed to get out.
Andy nodded. “I’m sure you’ve figured out that we’re in the basement right now. I have a beautiful big house upstairs that I can’t wait to show you. But you’re going to have to earn it first, prove to me that you know how to be good, that I can trust you before we can go upstairs. That’s what the training will do. I’m going to teach you exactly how to be perfect for me, everything I want, and in return I’m going to give you a perfect life, so much better than what you had before. We’re going to be so happy together, sweetheart. I promise.
“Now, it’s going to take time. I understand that. And I’m going to be patient with you. I know what your life was like before. I know that you probably never expected that you’d ever get to have this. Change can be scary. Dreams coming true, it’s scary. But I’ll be here to guide you through it all. I’m going to give you everything and all I ask of you in return is that you be good for me. That’s all.”
You wanted to scream. You wanted to sob. What the hell was this? How could this man, this stranger, be so completely deranged? Be smart, you chanted to yourself. Be smart be smart be smart. And if you opened your mouth now, you knew exactly what would come out. So you kept it shut and let him continue.
“So first, let’s talk about your tantrum. I don’t appreciate being spoken to that way. The language and the names, it’s unacceptable. So, no swearing going forward. And I think a good rule for you while we’re downstairs will be for you to address me as Sir. Once we’ve moved upstairs, you’ll be allowed to call me Andy, but whenever we’re down here, it’s Sir. Do you understand?” He looked at you expectantly. You clenched your jaw and nodded. “I expect a verbal response when I speak to you, sweetheart.”
“Yes,” you gritted out. He raised an eyebrow at you and his gaze hardened. It took you a moment to realize your mistake. “Yes, sir,” you corrected yourself.
“Very good. As your husband, I expect you to give me the respect I deserve. That’s something we’ll work on. It’s very important that you don’t question me. I know what’s best for you and you need to trust that I will give you whatever information you need to have. If I haven’t told you something, it’s because you don’t need to know, ok?”
He paused again. What kind of Stepford hell was this? What had you done to deserve this? You took a deep breath. Then another. And another. Then, finally, you were able to force out a “Yes, sir.”
He smiled. “You’re so smart, sweetheart. You’ll be upstairs in no time. Now, you’ll start learning your routine tomorrow. I’ve taken some time off work for our honeymoon, so I’ll have plenty of time to get you settled and acclimated. We’ll go over wardrobe and makeup requirements in the morning too. Now,” he slapped his thighs and stood up, “your soup from earlier went cold, so how about I go get you a fresh bowl while you take a quick shower and get all that dust and grime from the Quiet Room off you?”
You held back a grimace at him calling that room that, as he walked over to one of the other doors and unlocked it. He talked to you like you were a child. All of this was so fucked up. But a shower sounded incredible. You had no idea how long it’d been since you’d had one. So you just nodded and let out a quiet, “Yes, sir.”
He beamed at you. “Everything you’ll need is in the bathroom. I’ll be back in just a few minutes.”
You stood and waited til he was out the door, listening to the beeps and grinding locks once he was gone. Shit. You were really fucked. You went into the bathroom and closed the door behind you. There was no lock on the inside. Of course, there wasn’t.
You didn’t waste much time in the bathroom, desperate for a hot shower. You vaguely registered that the counter was stocked with all sorts of beauty aids – expensive lotions and serums like he’d bought out a department store beauty counter. The shower too, was equally well stocked. So much fancier than the Target sale items you usually stocked your bathroom with. But the shower felt incredible and that’s what you chose to focus on.
When you were finished, you came out of the shower to see that the bathroom door was open. You could hear Andy moving around in the bedroom. You shuddered and quickly wrapped a plush towel around yourself. There was a fresh nightgown waiting for you, soft pink, all silk and lace. You grimaced and wondered what you’d need to do to get a pair of sleep shorts and an old T-shirt to sleep in. Probably more than you were willing to do, if it was even possible. You dried off quickly and slipped the nightgown on.
When you exited the bathroom, he was sitting on the bed, the tray of food sitting next to him. There was a bowl of soup and a cup of water, along with a small plate with a few crackers. The dishes and utensils were all plastic. Nothing you could hurt him with. You sat down and watched him carefully as you lifted the tray onto your lap. He didn’t say anything so it must have been allowed. Your hand shook as you brought the first spoonful up to your lips. The soup was warm, not hot, certainly not scalding. Another hope dashed. Throwing it at him would only result in him getting wet. And angry. Not worth it.
As you ate, you realized just how hungry you actually were. The nausea from whatever drugs you’d had had covered it up, but you were starving. You barely even tasted the soup, you just needed to eat. God, how long had it been since you’d had food? You wouldn’t bother asking Andy. You knew he wouldn’t give you an answer.
After he watched you eat for a few minutes, he said, “What do you say, sweetheart?”
God, he used that word like it was your name. It made you want to scream. You swallowed down all your anger and a spoonful of soup before you said, “Thank you, sir.”
He gave you a satisfied smile. “See,” he said, “I knew you had good manners.”
You shoved the spoon into your mouth to prevent any sort of comeback. This fucking asshole. Luckily he let you eat the rest of your meal in peace. But he never took his eyes off you.
Once you were done, Andy put the tray on the dresser and then declared it bedtime. You watched him cautiously, as he went to the dresser and took out a pair of boxers and a cotton tee. He changed right in the middle of the room and you turned your head away. You caught flashes of skin, that if he’d been anyone else, in any other circumstances, would have had you drooling. It was becoming hard to breathe again. What else would he demand from you tonight?
You chanced a glance back up at him to find him changed and staring at you. You swallowed nervously. “Come here,” he said firmly, holding his hand out to you. You slowly, so slowly, made your way to him. As soon as you were in reach, he grabbed your elbow and pulled you the rest of the way in so that you were nestled into his chest. “I know,” he said, stroking one hand down your back, “that we’re both thinking about our first time together, but I’d like to wait.” He ran the fingers of his other hand down the strap of your nightgown, slipping onto your bare skin. “Give you a chance to get fully adjusted. Give us both a chance to get to know each other.” His voice slipped down an octave as his fingers traveled across your chest. Your body bowed to get away from him, but he didn’t seem to notice or care. “Give us a chance to enjoy each other.” His breath hitched as his hand traveled down to your breast, the other hand on your back had stilled, holding you close, stopping you from getting away. He moved his head as close as he could to yours and whispered, “I want it to be special.” Then, before you could try to back away, he was kissing you. It was firm and demanding, giving you no option but to let it happen. He angled his growing erection into your thigh, and with the way he was holding you, you couldn’t lean away from it. His tongue forced its way into your mouth and you couldn’t help the way you whimpered. It felt like it might go on forever, when he finally pulled back, resting his forehead against yours. “I’m so happy you’re mine,” he whispered.
And then he was out of your space, leaving you trying to breathe again, alone in the middle of the room, as he climbed into the bed. You just stood there, unsure of what to do, your lips still tingling. Once he was settled on the side of the bed closest to the door, he called your name. “Come to bed now,” he said, and there was no mistaking it for anything other than an order. You ducked your head and climbed onto the bed, terrified of what might come next, but also desperate for sleep. This day had left you exhausted and confused and scared and so angry. It was all too much.
You tried to lie down as close to the edge as you could, but he pulled you in close so that your back was flush to his front, his arm thrown over your waist. “I'm so proud of you,” he whispered into your hair, “getting through your first day without having to go to the punishment room.”
Your mouth went completely dry. A room you hadn’t been to. Somewhere worse than the quiet room. “What's–” your tongue struggled to form the words. You took a breath and tried again. “What's the punishment room?” You caught yourself at the last minute and added a quiet “Sir.”
His hand caressed your side. “You keep being my good girl and you won't have to find out.”
Tag list is open
@stargazingfangirl18 @yenzys-lucky-charm @thezombieprostitute @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @bval-1 @km-ffluv @texmexdarling @ladyvenera @foulpersonahandsvoid
#dark andy barber#andy barber x reader#andy barber x you#andy barber x female reader#defending jacob#dark fic#dark!andy barber#dark!fic#reader insert#chris evans fanfiction#ce characters#fanfic#trapped au#kris wrote something
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Coffee Shop: IX
Simon Riley x Fem!Reader
You work at a small cafe that Simon starts visiting when he’s not deployed.
Coffee shop Masterlist
As Simon walked through the door of his house, a heavy wave of agonizing guilt crashed over him, consuming him entirely. His body moved on autopilot while his mind was in turmoil, torn between regret and longing.
All he wanted in that moment was to be with you, to hold you close and make things right. He couldn't bear the thought of hurting you, of seeing the pain he had caused reflected in your eyes.
Sitting on his couch, Riley curled up beside him, Simon ran a hand over his face, the weight of his actions bearing down on him like a crushing weight.
"Fuck," he muttered under his breath, a flood of remorse flooding his thoughts. Never had he imagined that he would be capable of hurting you to the point of making your eyes water. He wanted to punch himself for being so foolish, for letting fear cloud his judgment.
But perhaps there was still hope. Maybe if he explained himself, you would understand. You were always so kind and forgiving, and he hoped you would extend that kindness to him too.
He knew he needed to be honest with you, to tell you how he truly felt. His heart felt lighter whenever he was around you, and he couldn't bear the thought of losing you. He needed to explain that he had frozen and pulled away because he was terrified of letting himself be vulnerable again. But he was willing to risk it all if it meant he could spend a lifetime by your side.
If there was one thing he was certain of, it was his unwavering desire to be with you, to cherish and protect you for as long as he lived.
Simon sat on his couch, staring at the picture of you and Riley on his phone, feeling a mix of longing and uncertainty. He wanted to reach out to you, to explain himself and make things right, but he couldn't shake the doubt gnawing at him. Would you even want to hear from him right now? Would it be fair to intrude on your space when he had hurt you so deeply?
He hesitated, his thumb hovering over the screen as he debated whether to send a text or not. He knew that explaining himself over text wouldn't do justice to the depth of his feelings, but he also wanted to let you know that he cared about what had happened between you two.
Finally, he typed out a message, his heart pounding in his chest as he hit send.
Simon: Can we talk about what happened?
He held his breath, checking his phone every few seconds, his nerves getting the better of him as he waited for your reply. Each passing moment felt like an eternity, his mind racing with thoughts of what your response might be.
Meanwhile, on your side of things, you saw the text the instant it arrived, but you couldn't bring yourself to respond. Tossing your phone to the other side of your bed, you buried your face in your hands, the pain of rejection still fresh in your mind.
You were lying on your bed with missy sitting next to you, “Missy, I don't know what to do. I'm so embarrassed…”
She purrs softly, rubbing against your hand.
“I thought Simon and I had a moment, you know? But then when I tried to kiss him, he pulled away… He doesn't feel the same way about me, Missy. And now I feel like I could never show my face around him again. I feel like such a fool.”
She nudges your hand affectionately, licking it before lying beside you.
“I know, I know… Maybe I misread the situation. Maybe I shouldn't have tried to kiss him. But it felt right in that moment, you know? And now… now I just feel so rejected and embarrassed. I don't know how I'll face him again… Ive completely ruined our friendship.” Missy continues to purr, offering silent comfort.
“Thanks, Missy. I guess I'll just have to figure out how to move forward from this… But for now, I'm glad I have you here with me. You always know how to make me feel better.”
Simon couldn't shake the feeling of unease that kept him awake throughout the night. He wanted to reach out to you, to make sure you were okay, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He knew you probably didn't want to see him, let alone talk to him, especially after he hadn't received a reply to his text.
The next morning, Simon walked to the café, rehearsing in his mind what he wanted to say to you. But when he entered, his brows furrowed in confusion as he saw a man behind the counter.
"Is y/n here?" Simon asked, his brow furrowing in disappointment when the man shook his head. "Took the week off, I'm filling in for her," the man replied.
Sighing heavily, Simon walked out of the cafe, his mind racing with thoughts of what to do next. Eventually, he decided to go to the store and pick up a few things for you.
As Simon walked into the store, he pulled up a recipe for banana nut muffins on his phone, remembering that they were your favorite. With determination, he grabbed a cart and began weaving through the aisles, picking up each ingredient listed on the recipe.
"Baking powder, baking soda, eggs, butter," he muttered to himself as he scanned the list, double-checking his cart to ensure he had everything he needed. But then, his eyes widened as he reached the next step in the instructions.
"What in the bloody fuck is a stand mixer?" He quickly scrolled through the recipe, realizing that he lacked many of the essential tools for baking.
Determined not to let this setback deter him, Simon made his way to the kitchenware aisle and began grabbing a stand mixer, measuring cups, bowls, and a muffin tray – everything necessary to complete the recipe. As he scanned the shelves, his eyes landed on a floral tray that reminded him of you.
A soft smile tugged at the corners of his lips as he imagined presenting the freshly baked muffins to you on the elegant tray.
As Simon made his way through the store, he couldn't resist stopping by the pet aisle. Remembering Missy, he turned into the cat section and picked out a few toys, treats, and some catnip, wanting to spoil her a little.
Continuing through the aisles, Simon suddenly remembered you mentioning something about "The Hungry Games." He furrowed his brows, trying to recall exactly what you had said.
Approaching a store clerk, Simon asked, "Do you have 'The Hungry Games' on DVD?"
The man looked puzzled for a moment before correcting him, "You mean 'The Hunger Games,' bro?"
"Yeah." Simon replied, following the clerk to the DVD section. He was handed a collector's set that included all the movies, but he noticed that 'The Ballad of Snakes and Birds' was missing.
"The Ballad of Snakes and Birds isn't in here,"
The clerk laughed. "You buying this for your girlfriend?"
Simon scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "Yeah, something like that."
The clerk explained that 'The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes' had recently been released in theaters, so it wasn't available on DVD yet. However, he offered to provide Simon with a bootleg website where he could watch it online.
"Okay," Simon agreed, taking the sticky note with the website address. He added the DVD collection to his cart before continuing his shopping for you, determined to make it a special gesture.
"Muffins, movies, Missy… hmm…" he muttered to himself as he strolled down an aisle filled with wooden baskets. Inspiration struck him as he realized that making you a basket filled with things you liked would be perfect. It would be easier for him to carry and he could would be able to add more thoughtful items.
He got a throw blanket adorned with cats, reminiscent of Missy, along with a selection of candles, strawberry seeds, a flower pot with a design he thought you would adore, a flower Lego set you had mentioned once, and a Ross gift card.
Stopping at the floral shop on his way home, Simon picked out a beautiful bouquet of your favorite flowers and a plant to put in the flower pot.
Back at home, Simon spent the entire afternoon making the muffins. He struggled with assembling the stand mixer, nearly breaking it in the process, and cursed himself when he accidentally dropped an eggshell into the batter. Despite his mishaps, he persevered, spending five painstaking minutes trying to retrieve the stubborn piece of shell.
When the muffins finally emerged from the oven, they looked picture-perfect, as if straight out of a baking catalog.
Simon surveyed the kitchen, which was now a chaotic mess from his baking endeavors, but he couldn't help but smile at the sight of the muffins.
Simon worked diligently, loading all the dishes into the dishwasher before turning his attention to putting together your basket. Carefully, he rolled the throw blanket and positioned it on the side, arranging the candles and movie set in the front. He placed the flower Legos on the other side, ensuring everything was balanced, before nestling your bouquet of flowers in the middle.
With precision, he placed the plant from the florist into the pot and positioned it neatly beside the flowers. The strawberry packet and gift card found their place near the pot, completing the ensemble. Stepping back, Simon admired his handiwork, a satisfied smile spreading across his face as he imagined your reaction.
After washing and drying the floral tray, he carefully arranged the cooled-down muffins on it. With Riley on a leash and in the car, Simon carried your basket and the tray of muffins to the car.
As he pulled into your driveway, Simon took a deep breath, his nerves tingling. He glanced at Riley in the passenger seat and felt a sense of reassurance. "I just gotta be honest with her," he murmured, running his hand over Riley's head. Riley responded with a lick and Simon smiled.
You heard the doorbell ring, and your heart skipped a beat as you peered through the peephole, your pulse quickening at the sight of Simon standing outside with something large in his hands. With a mixture of apprehension and curiosity, you unlocked the door and opened it slowly.
Simon stood before you with an apologetic smile, Riley wagging his tail by his feet. "I'm so sorry, love. Can we talk?" he asked softly, his gaze pleading. You felt a rush of emotions as you looked from him to the items in his hands, and a smile tugged at your lips. Stepping aside, you welcomed him in.
He set the basket and tray down on the coffee table in front of you, and you took a seat beside him on the couch as Riley explored the living room. It was time to have that conversation you had been dreading, but somehow, with Simon beside you and his heartfelt gesture before you, it felt a little less daunting.
Simon took a deep breath, his nerves practically humming with anticipation as he tapped his finger against his thigh. Never before had he felt so jittery, so utterly consumed by the weight of his emotions.
For a man who had faced countless missions and life-threatening situations, confessing his feelings to the woman he loved was the ultimate test of his courage.
You noticed his restless tapping and glanced down at his finger rhythmically drumming against his jeans. When his gaze met yours, you looked up at him, waiting expectantly for him to speak. As you both held your breath, awaiting the words that hung heavy in the air.
Simon takes a deep breath, his gaze locking with yours, and he begins to speak, his words heavy with sincerity. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry for pulling away like that. It wasn't because I didn't want to kiss you… It's just… I got scared."
Your body is turned toward him, your full attention on his words as he continues. "I've never really been good with words, but I want you to know that… I've always been afraid of letting myself be vulnerable, especially when it comes to people I care about… people I love…"
Your breath catches slightly in your throat, your mind reeling with the weight of his admission. Love? Did he truly feel that way about you?
"I care about you a lot. Maybe even more than I should admit. I was afraid that if you came to know the real me… the things I've done, you might… you might turn away."
Simon's eyes search yours for understanding. "I realize now that pushing you away was the worst thing I could've done. You're… you're perfect, and I felt like I wasn't good enough for someone like you."
"But that's not fair to you. You deserve honesty. And the truth is, I care about you more than I've cared about anyone. I can't bear the thought of losing you. I just needed to explain, to let you know how I feel. And… I'm sorry for hurting you."
He pauses, gathering his thoughts before adding softly, "And… and I want you to know… I wanted to kiss you just as much as you wanted to kiss me." you softly smiled before glancing down at your hands, taking a deep breath. Your soft gaze met his warm brown eyes.
"Simon… thank you for being honest with me. I know it couldn't have been easy for you to open up like this."
Your thumb rolled over his knuckles, "Every time you walked into the cafe, my heart skipped a beat. It was like the world paused for a moment, and all I could focus on was you."
"And whenever you looked at me, or called me 'love,' it made me feel… special," you confessed, your voice softening with emotion. "Like I was the only one in the room that mattered to you."
"All those moments we spent together, even if it was just a simple conversation or a quick smile exchanged across the room, meant everything to me," you continued, your voice filled with sincerity. "It was like… the highlight of my day, every single time."
"I always found a reason to try and talk to you because… because being around you made me happy," you admitted, your heart laid bare. "And even if I couldn't find the right words to say, just being near you made everything feel right somehow."
"I understand that we all have parts of ourselves that we're afraid to reveal, but you don't have to face those fears alone," you assured him, your gaze unwavering. "I'm here for you, Simon, always."
"And as for stepping away… well, we all make mistakes," you offered, your tone gentle but firm. "What matters is that we learn from them and try to make things right. And trust me, I'm not as perfect as you think. But together, maybe we can be perfect for each other."
Leaning in closer, your heart pounding with a mixture of nerves and anticipation, you glanced down at your hand over his and met Simon's gaze again.
"And as for the kiss… well, I wouldn't mind trying that again" you murmured, your voice laced with a hint of playfulness, yet brimming with longing.
As you leaned in closer, your heart pounding with anticipation, Simon's hand softly found its place on your cheek. You leaned into his touch, the warmth of his hand comforting and familiar.
Your eyes locked, and in that moment, all doubts and fears melted away. Slowly, hesitantly, Simon inched closer, his gaze flickering between your eyes and your lips, silently seeking reassurance that you wanted this. With a soft smile, you closed the gap between you, both of you closing your eyes as your lips met in a soft kiss.
Simon's heart raced in his chest as he felt the soft press of your lips against his, a rush of warmth flooding through him as he moved his lips in sync with yours. In that moment, everything felt right, as if the pieces of a puzzle were finally falling into place. As you both pulled away, you both smiled and glanced at eachother before glancing away, smiles lingering on both of your faces.
Simon remembered the basket and brought it onto his lap, his expression softening as he said, “I got you a little something, a few things I thought you would like.” You were finally able to take everything in, and you gasped when you saw the Lego flower set.
“Stop! You remembered!” you exclaimed, feeling like a kid on Christmas as you looked through the basket, making appreciative little comments about everything. Simon just smiled, his heart swelling with happiness at the sight of your joy.
“You got the collector's set! We need to watch this right now!” Simon laughed and grabbed the muffins off the table. “Works out, we got snacks for the movie night.”
You gasped, grabbing the cute floral tray. “Did you make these, Si? They smell so good! You really did all of this for me? This is so sweet, Si, thank you so much.”
“Of course, sweetheart, you're worth all the time and effort,” Simon replied, a new endearment slipping from his lips.
“Can you put the movie in the DVD player? I want to light this candle and roll out this blanket. I can make us some tea?” you asked, and Simon smiled and nodded. “I’ll get on it, and some tea would be bloody nice right now.”
You smiled and nodded, and as Simon got up to put the DVD in the player, you cut the tags off the blanket and put some tea to brew while you lit a candle, setting it on the coffee table.
You sat next to Simon, both of you under the throw blanket, and you took a bite of the muffin, you realized this was better than any muffin you had ever made.
Simon took a sip of his tea as he fed Missy the treats he bought her, the cat purring contentedly on his lap. Simon looked down at Missy and then at Riley, nestled between the two of you sleeping peacefully. His gaze then lingered on you as you took another bite of the muffin while your eyes were glued to the TV. He smiled, turning to the screen, his smile lingering.
In that moment, as love swelled in his heart, Simon was truly happy, and content with life as he sat next to you.
#call of duty#cod#cod x reader#cod fanfic#call of duty modern warfare#cod mw2#cod mw3#cod modern warfare#writers#cod mwii#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost x reader#simon riley cod#simon x reader#simon riley#simon riley fanfic#cod simon riley#ghost call of duty#ghost mw2#ghost cod#cod ghost#simon riley x female reader#simon riley x y/n#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost x you#simon ghost riley mw3#simon ghost riley fanfiction
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Hii!! Thinking about a desperate (very platonic coworker) Dabi who gets desperate after having a crush on reader for so long, so he decides to sneak into their room while they're working and bury his face into her panties while he absentmindedly palms himself through his sweatpants, only for the reader to walk in after getting off work early.
Just a suggestion!! absolutely no pressure, I luv luv luv your work!!
Thank you so much, I'm so glad you enjoy my work and I hope I did your request justice, I love the occasional pathetic Dabi willing to get off with a pair of your panties to suffice his nasty little thoughts. Dabi always thought you were hot, ever since you joined the league, prancing around in those tight ass shirts and those mini skirts. He knew, you knew, what you were doing, teasing him. Intentionally dropping things on the floor only to bend over in front of him as your skirt flips up, showing him that tiny black thong that has him re-adjusting himself and holding his breath. The little shorts you wear that ride up your thighs when you sit down, those same shorts that barley cover your ass. It pisses him off, intentionally turning him on and going about like you don't know he's rock hard, pumping his cock to thoughts of you when he's alone. Stealing your panties and using them to pump his cock as he groans your name, chest heaving as he pants and his eyes are rolling back thinking about your tight cunt, what it would feel like wrapped around him, how warm and wet it would be for him as he fucks you through orgasm after orgasm. Pulling the prettiest sounds out of you, screaming for him, asking him to let you cum, begging him to go faster, fuck you harder as tears drip down your cheeks and your eyes are tightly shut from the overwhelming pleasure he gives you. The pretty sound he forces from your throat as your head falls back or.. would you push him away because it's too much. Begging him too slow down so that you can catch your breath. He has these thoughts constantly and no matter how often he fucks his fist. pumping his cock as pale beads of pre drip from the slit, he always gets hard at the thought of seeing you, the choked gasps being pulled from his throat as he thinks about you in your little outfits, leaving nothing to the imagination, but that's good, that works for him. It gives him more too think about as he cums, picturing what paties your wearing under those little pieces of cloth you call clothes. But, then it's not enough anymore, he needs the source but that's too risky so.. he goes to the next best thing.. your bedroom. It's not super girly, no pink zebra print or overly stimulating colors, pretty normal in fact, but he's not here for that, he's here for those little panties of yours. Your dirty hamper is his best bet, they've already been worn and you need to wash them anyway, he's sure you won't mind if he leaves you a little gift. Your bed's soft, smells so much like you, that's good, he needs it over riding his senses as he cums. There's slick in the crotch of your panties, you probably just recently took them off, and they smell so good. he's positive he has time to get a session in, Tomura sent you on a mission, you shouldn't be back for a while, that's good for him but he still has to hurry. It always feels good when he jerks off but, surrounded by your scent as he has your panties over his nose, muffleing his groans and the occasional whimper makes it all that much better. Putting his mind in a place of ecstasy as he gets close. You taste good too, your slick tastes so sweet, he's positive it'll taste better when he buries his face in your pussy, feeling you pull at his hair when you cum in his mouth as he drinks it down. He's close, he can feel it, the knot in his stomach as his abs flex is tell-tale to him, he's gonna cum. His head's so wrapped up he doesn't hear your door open as you saunter in. "Well.. would you look at this? Are you enjoying yourself Dabi?"
#baby-tini#anon ask#dabi x reader#dabi#touya todoroki#mha dabi#bnha dabi#dabi my hero academia#my hero academia dabi#boku no hero academia dabi#dabi bnha#dabi todoroki#dabi smut#dabi mha#todoroki touya#touya smut#touya x reader#mha touya
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Mystery Pick-A-Card Pt. ll
Hi, Hexlings!
This pick-a-card reading is about whatever the cards have to say. I shuffle the cards and whatever message comes out is your reading. I couldn't decide on what reading should be next as so many messages wanted to come through, so I decided on this way. This may be about love, academics, friendship/family, money, or careers. Whatever the cards have to say, will be said.
This is a general reading, remember to take what resonates and leave what does not. This reading does not supplement your need to seek professional help. Tarot should be used as entertainment and not a for sure answer to your problems but as a guide, a sense of hope, and amusement.
Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.
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Patreon Link
TW Ahead Read With Caution
Pile l:
What is your Mystery Reading? Tarot: Page of Swords, 5 of Swords, The Chariot (Clarified by The Reversed Empress), Justice (Clarified by 9 of Cups), Ace of Wands
"There's no kindness in your eyes The way you look at me, it's just not right I can tell what's going on this time There's a stranger in my life You're not the person that I once knew Are you scared to let them know it's you? If they could only see you like I do Then they would see a stranger too" - Hilary Duff, Strangers
TW: Body image, Self Esteem, Anorexia, Dysmorphia, Etc
Even though Strangers by Hilary Duff is a love song about a toxic relationship this is about you having a toxic relationship, but with yourself. You are so skilled at faking smiles and pretending everything is okay while you suffer on the inside with your constant negative talk to yourself. You could say things like how ugly, fat, and disgusting, you are to yourself and spew all of these lies that aren't true. Some of you could possibly be dealing with body dysmorphia where you see yourself as one way one moment and another moment you do a complete 180 or 360 depending on what it is about your body you are speaking negatively/positively about. Some of these feelings, thoughts, and emotions may have come from your childhood/adolescence where your family constantly pointed out changes in your weight causing you to have these feelings or body disorders. This makes me sad because I don't need to know what you look like to know that you are handsome/beautiful/spectacular/ and everything that's as sensational and bright as the sun. This reading has left me in a pickle as I have never pulled cards dealing with this subject before and don't want to overstep or cause any damage, as I'm not a psychologist/therapist so I can't give you the guidance you need in order to see yourself for all its glory, but your guides want you to know it's time to start seeing the light. They can't help you if you don't try to help yourself first by seeking help for the thoughts that plague your mind on a daily basis. You may like to listen to sad songs when you're sad so you can remain in your sadness because being happy with who you are is too unbearable to think about. It's time to begin your journey of healing and surrounding yourself with people who see you for who you really are and not the versions in your head that you see or the versions your family likes to place on you because of their own f*cked-up views and opinions about themselves. Try seeking out help from a therapist/psychologist, or a trusted friend. Also, remember that you are more than just your looks, you have a personality that I am sure shines bright as gold and a beautiful future ahead where you are thriving and seeing yourself as truly divine.
Pile ll:
What is your Mystery Reading? Tarot: The Devil, 7 of Cups, 8 of Cups (Clarified by The Star), 9 of Pentacles (reversed)
"There's things I wanna say to you But I'll just let you live Like if you hold me without hurting me You'll be the first who ever did There's things I wanna talk about But better not to give But if you hold me without hurting me You'll be the first who ever did" - Cinnamon Girl by Lana Del Rey
TW: Self-Sabotage, Vices, etc
This reading can go so many different ways but the overall message is that there is something in your life that isn't good for you that you can't see to walk away because you either feel you have no better options or you don't want any other options. For some of you, this could be a relationship you refuse to let go of because of fear and for others of you, this could be vices like drugs, alcohol, or even self-sabotaging things for yourself because you don't see how bright your future or how brilliant you are. Some of you are so far down the rabbit hole that you don't see a way out, you have let this thing or person consume your every being to the point there is no moon or sun in your work only complete darkness. It's as if you have fully accepted that this is your life now and the thing about that pile ll is this doesn't have to be your life. You have The Star card in your reading showing you that you are more than capable of being someone other than the version you are now or even finding better elsewhere if this is about a relationship. Freedom is just a few steps away you just have to be the one to see the light at the end of the tunnel instead of always pulling the blackout curtains over any and all kinds of light that touched your domain. You have options...you just rather not take them because of having to deal with the pain that comes along with it. Again this could be vices that you pick up every time life gets even the smallest of inconvenient for you and others it's a relationship that you wholeheartedly either believe is as good as it gets for you because of your low self-esteem or because you don't want to leave this person in their darkest hour not realizing that they too are slowing taking you under. Your light is so bright pile ll and it's been trying to show you in your darkness but you refuse to answer or grab its hand. It's time to walk away from the things that keep you mentally, emotionally, and even physically stuck and walk away. Do some healing or find other solutions that can help with your vices. Similar to how chain smokers replace cigarettes with snacks...replace what this toxic energy is with something better.
Pile lll:
What is your Mystery Reading? Tarot: The Lovers, The Hierophant, The Devil, The Moon, 3 of Swords
Two Messages - TW: Toxic Relationships (Romantic & of the Self)
So many Major Arcana cards pile lll. You may have been drawn to Pile ll, this reading somewhat mirrors that pile also. The only difference is that you acknowledge your unhappiness while Pile ll...well...yeah. Anyway, pile lll I sense your unhappiness within your relationship and possibly within yourself too. With the lovers and devil card in this reading, I sense that this is mainly a relationship reading but if not take what resonates and apply it to you being single. Single messages are later in this reading. Overall you are unhappy with how your relationship is, it's as if you romanticized what it would be like with this person and decided to go with the flow of everything even when things didn't feel right and now you are unhappy because you don't want to "disturb the peace" in your relationship but you also are feeling yourself chip away each and every day. Maybe this is the kind of relationship you thought you wanted because society or your family have always had this kind of relationship and you thought this is the way it has to be not realizing that you have a say in how your relationship should be, feel, and look like. You don't have to sit in silence and possibly cry yourself to sleep every night wishing things were different when you can just leave if the relationship is not serving you the way your soul wants to be fed. For just a few of you this may be an abusive or toxic relationship and this relationship while it is abusive you have only known chaotic and toxic love so anything else just doesn't feel right because you are so used to chaos and drama not realizing that's not love. For those of you who are single, this feels more so of you not feeling one with yourself. You're catering to everyone else but what your soul has been telling you all along. There is so much hidden potential in you that you don't realize because you are listening and entertaining others. Going back to those who are in abusive or toxic relationships if you can and only if you can seek help. There are so many people out there willing and wanting to help you get out. Last for those who are single and try and tap into the parts of you that are screaming for you to release and see where it takes you. I am going to let you know that you tapping into yourself will cause friction to those who are only around you for their own benefit...are you ready to lose those around you when you stop entertaining others' opinion of you.
Pile lV:
What is your Mystery Reading? Tarot: Ace of Pentacles, 7 of cups, Strength, Ace of Cups, 8 of Pentacles, Hanged Man
This is the only good happy-toned reading out of the remainder of the other piles and I can't tell you how happy I am for you. Whatever it is that you have been working on specifically dealing with career as I see a lot of money and emotions cards. Needless to say, that emotional fulfillment is coming in for you pile lV. Please don't doubt that what you are doing is a waste of time because it's not. If you aren't working on something you may have had several opportunities or ideas come to you that you have questioned whether they will lead you to financial stability and abundance and with the 8 and Ace of Pentacles card it is a yes. Yes, one of your ideas will bring you the money you have been trying to manifest or pray for. Some of you that may have multiple ideas or opportunities may not be sure as to what you should take that will lead you down this road and it's the one that gives you the most emotional fulfillment. If you still aren't sure close your eyes and picture yourself doing each opportunity and if it doesn't give you a feeling of peace washing over you...onto the next idea or opportunity. This path will also force you to have strength pile lV as this is not a quick road to riches and stability. You will be tested and have setbacks as well as being stuck in limbo but overall this will be worth it and is exactly what you have been wanting in your life...it's just going to take a bit of work to get there but financial abundance is on it's way to you, just have patience, dedication, and focus on the prize.
Thank you for liking and reblogging my readings. I always appreciate you guys on here and on Patreon.
Stay safe and be blessed
#spirituality#witchblr#tarot reading#tarotblr#tarotcommunity#pick a card#tarot cards#pac tarot#pick a pile#pac reading#pick an image#pick a picture#pick a photo
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Hello, uhm, so this MAY be an uncomfortable thing to request I’m not too sure. It’s totally totally okay if it is absolutely feel free to ignore this, but the way you write Carmen is so so comforting. I have this neighbor that lives downstairs from me, I’ve lived in my apartment for two years but the past 4 months with this guy has been hell. I live in the U.K. and the people that own the building and the police don’t view my situation as anything dangerous or serious, despite the fact I have made numerous complaints and even the other neighbors in my building have complained about him. But he targets me the most and bangs on my door at ungodly hours and threatens the most horrible stuff because I’m a woman living alone. I’m honestly terrified but unless he physically does something there’s nothing I can do. I’m sorry for the sob story but usually I always try and just picture Carmy as something comforting to help through this until I can be safe, would it be okay to request something like Carmen finding out about his gf losing sleep and constantly being terrified and deciding to take matters into his own hands, and demanding she moves in with him and helps pack her stuff because he will NOT stand for that shit (again totally 100% okay if you don’t feel comfortable responding)
oh my god anon, I'm so deeply sorry that you have to deal with such a shitty situation, and the fact that you have to wait to be physically attacked before the police can do anything? Fuck the justice system and fuck law enforcement. Don't every feel scared to send a request to make your day or week or fucking month better, it's why I'm here, and the fact that my writing can make you feel even a little better is the greatest gift i could ever ask for. God I just hope you're able to remain safe, call a friend or family to keep them posted in case anything happens, I'm so very sorry honey :(
Broken bones and soup
carmen berzatto x reader
warnings: misogyny, violence, feral!carmen makes an appearence, angst, horrible neighbours, angst, teeth rotting fluff, carmy feeding you
w/c: 5.3k
a/n: this was hard to write, i really wanted to do it right by you anon, and when have i ever written carmen without him breaking someones face?
The falling sun encapsulated the cerulean sky, exploding against the horizon in heated shades of orange, crimson and pink. The trail back to your apartment complex wasn’t long, but it gave enough time to bask in the warmth of evenings bathed in sunlight. It also conveniently enabled you to tell yourself you had gotten your sun for the day, rather than having to swallow pills you hated to swallow.
It was muscle memory however, your legs moved with the familiar comfort of the sidewalk, forgetting the stomach turning realisation of what had awaited you back at your apartment.
It had been a couple months, four maybe 5, you didn’t really want to count the days having a violent neighbour moved in directly down your apartment. The other tenants who you've grown to know collectively bristled with the annoyance of a 30 something year old filling the usual peaceful nights with crashes and yells of broken plates and incoherent obscenities.
When you had raised the issue to the landlord and even to the police, you had been shut down with a shrug of the shoulders.
‘We can notice him with a noise complaint, but if he aint hurting anyone we can’t do much’.
That had made you laugh a little then, before you had been close to bawling your eyes out and ripping out your hair. Sure he was loud, your neighbours from the other side of the apartment complex could attest to that, but it was so much more than loud fucking music, and somehow, you had bared the brunt of his violence. It was targeted, you knew it, and your legs began to shuffle at the thought of coming home to another violent outbursts at your door.
You hadn't gotten any proper sleep for the past 4 months, waking up to loud banging at your door, and declarations of brutality he whispered through your keyhole. It was all empty threats, those men in clad uniform had told you when you woke up shaking with fear as he screamed taunts of murder from below, you had run out in your pyjamas and bunny slippers and they had told you they couldn't help you.
There were not empty threats, and this wasn’t the hundreds of true crime shows you had binged, you felt it in your bones, you were a woman living with yourself for god sake, he was going to break down your door one day and hurt you, and you couldn't do anything about it. You felt paralysed by the helplessness of it, forcing yourself to stay up past 12, the burn of your tired eyes forced open by the blue light of your phone, in case he tried breaking in. You had begun to keep a bat near your bed, a knife in the drawer of your bedside, and you felt fucking insane. Noone had made a major problem out of it, and yet you felt like he was one bad day from a murderous rampage.
Carmen could tell something had been wearing on your shoulders, the way your eyes blinked slowly, and the syrup slow movements of your limbs when you had visited the Beef not long ago. You couldn't bear to tell him, your past relationships had taught you enough not to unload all your problems onto another person, but it had gotten bad. You had started getting notices of concern from your boss, asking if you were alright, telling you how your performance had been declining.
You had quickly shut down any looks of concern thrown at you, this was something you had to deal with yourself, you didn’t want anyone, especially another woman to be faced with the brunt of his violence. You guzzled caffeine and energy drinks like it was water, and your limbs jittered with the rush of adrenaline until the peak had dropped and you felt like your stomach was ripping itself apart.
You braced yourself as you turned the corner into your apartment complex, keeping your head down, and going through the carpack to avoid the hallway that was right next to his door. You felt your stomach drop, your keys pressed between your knuckles and you flickered your eyes up to the door of his apartment. You watched it like a hawk, ready to flee at any sign of opening, and when you had finally made it to the elevator, you breathed a sigh of relief like no other. The air suddenly fills your lungs once again.
Your phone buzzed in your jean pocket, and you reached out to grab it, the screen illuminated by Carmen’s text. You felt a tingle of glee shoot through you, biting back a smile at the thought of seeing him today.
“You still coming today for the family dinner?”
The beef had begun a sort of tradition, every last Friday of the month, they would close early and hold a sort of family dinner right out back near the tables and chairs. Everyone of the crew’s family and friends were invited to join, some bringing a plate or a drink or two. It was the highlight of the month, and you hadn't missed a Friday ever since Carmen and you had become something more than close friends.
You typed out a quick reply with a tongue in your cheek, as the elevator doors opened, you didn't look up right away, walking with your head down as you tucked your phone back into your pocket. It was a fault on your end, you should have looked up, at least then you could have braced yourself as your neighbour stood stationed near your door with a cheshire smile stretching ominously across his face.
You wondered if you could run back into the elevator, but the doors had closed well before and you feared turning your back to him was an even worse fate. You walked towards him, plastering on a smile that didn't look even a little believable.
“Something I can do for you?” You ask, your voice heightened by a mix of fear and false confidence
“Hear you've been complaining about me” The man replies with a smile, his hair slicked back, the shadow of a badly shaven skin spiking up. His shirt reeks of sweat and stains of spilt takeaway and you have to take a tentative step back to escape the stench radiating off of him.
“Yeah, you might not realise it, but you have been a bit- uh loud, and the loud banging on my walls?” You prouch him, and his eyebrows rise in surprise, shaking his head with a laugh that horrified you.
“Am I scaring you?” The man replies
You swallow as your eyes flicker to his burnt hazel ones, they stare down from above, almost mocking in the way they forced you to answer.
“Uh, uhm- well, a lot of us got work in the morning, and I can’t wake up if you're making a lot of noise during the night”
“Oh, is that right?” The man asks, scratching a hand across his jaw
“Well no one's been the one complaining but you” The man replies
“I don't think so many of us-”
“You saying I’m a liar??” The man suddenly shouts, and you can help yourself stepping back a distance quickly
The man watches the way you distance yourself away from him, his eyes flicker to the keys poking out from between your fingers and he bites back a laugh.
“So you are scared of me, liar.” The man spits out with venom, before stepping towards you, caging you to the wall as he whispers near your ear
“You think fucking keys are going to stop me? A little lady like you living here all by yourself?” The man digs his fingers into your sides, until you howl out and retch yourself away from him, you reach for your right side, holding the skin above your rib cage that had begun to swell and bruise.
“See how easy that was? A fucking pretzel in my hand” The man calls out with a smile, before walking back around the hallway corner with such ease and comfort that told you he knew the police wouldnt do shit.
Your hand shakes as you shove your key into your door, you have to hold your own hand to put it in, before shouldering your way through your door with wince, and dropping your bag and belongings to the floor.
You rush into your bathroom, undressing before your eyes flicker to your mirror, seeing the red rash of irritation and the start of a purple imprint of his claws shoved into the skin below your ribcage. You wince as you try to soothe it, the salty tears breaking down your waterline, you can't stop, the wretched sobs of your helplessness echoing off the bathroom walls.
You climb into the shower, sliding down to the bottom as the tears shake through you, you hug your knees to your chest, letting the warm water combine with your salty tears, so they become one, and you know longer now how terrified you are. You stay in the shower like this for a bit, letting the warmth and steam wiggle your body from its stone encapsulation.
You can hear the familiar jingle of your phone ringing from where you had haphazardly left it, and the memory of today's dinner comes rushing in. You had nearly forgotten, and whilst you were terrified to leave your home and go back into the hallway where it had happened, you couldn't let Carmen down.
So you had gotten up, in the same way you had fallen down, and tried to scrub away the smell of his day-old cigarettes and sweat until your skin burned, poking your head through a clean shirt and a skirt that hid the painful purple splotch that had begun to spread across your side.
Entering your quaint kitchen, you can’t stop your arm as it reaches for the brown liquid stored in that old glass bottle Sugar had told you was a century old. You didn't have a little liquid courage to make it past your goddamn threshold.
You downed it in a gulp, reaching for your bag and a pocket knife, just in case. The reality of that decision broke you a little, when did you start needing to armour yourself?
Your phone buzzed from its position edged between the living room couch, it was Carmen, again, telling you he was outside. Carmen had begun to ceremoniously show up to your apartment as the autumn had begun to bleed into the winter nights, and the sunlight had stretched until darkness hit by 5 in the afternoon. Any other time you would have chastised him till the point where he would stop, but now, with the reality of your neighbour, you felt a relief wash through your body at the thought of being close to him. You also don’t doubt he would have shown up anyway, ignoring your requests in the way he does when he thinks it's his responsibility.
You wouldnt say you had a lot of experience in relationships under your belt, but something spoke to you from within, carmen was something special, this was special, sacred in the way destiny was, and you shooke with the relentless fear of fucking it up. And scaring him away with your problems seemed to be on the very top of that list
You shake the thought from your head as you shut the door quietly, take a brisk pace as you walk but kind of run to the elevator. A neighbour you knew well stood near the doors, his dark auburn hair falling in front of his eyes, he nodded to you with a silent smile. He kept to himself most of the time, and you didn't know much about him, just that he always was tugging a sleeve down his left arm, but he always went out of his way to give you some sort of greeting.
The air between you was silent, as you were waiting for the ping of the elevator to drop to your door, and you heard a shuffling near you, your eyes watching the way he coughed and stared at you from the corner of your peripheral vision.
“Heard something out in the hallway, it wasn’t him again was it?” The man replied, concerned about lacing his features as his eyes seemed to be fixated on the way you leaned on one side of your body a little.
“Uh no, it’s- it’s alright, I guess it was my dues you know? Dealing with a shitty neighbour at least once” You reply with a tight smile, trying to poke fun at the very depressing thought.
The man nodded with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, your neighbours had known that he was loud, knew that you had dealt the worst of it being right above him, but they were clueless to his taunts and threats that he said into your door at night. You think the man next to you had an idea though, the way his eyes scanned anything like he was always assessing, always calculating the world around him.
It was also because your neighbour was nowhere to be found whenever he was around, you whispered a prayer of thanks that he was taking the elevator down with you, with his sweatpants and top, it was like he knew, a silent nod of protection.
Before you could open your mouth to whisper a thanks, the doors of the elevator had opened, a tired mom and her two energetic kids passed between you both. It was funny, you could see yourself in her, the drag of dark circles and the hunch of her shoulders mirroring your own.
You knew the very shakily painted on makeup did little to hide the exhaustion on your face and you rushed to enter the elevator to escape the thought. The motion of the elevator moving down nauseated you a little, churning your stomach in the way it always did with motion, but your apartment wasn’t big and soon enough the music of the elevator turned to a halt as the doors opened up to the ground floor.
You could see the headlights of Carmen's car through the automatic doors of your complex, and you gave your neighbour a smile before rushing to jump into the comfort of Carmen and his very, very warm car.
-- -
The car ride to the beef has been silent, just the syrupy beat of jazz from the car speakers and the burn of Carmen’s gaze searing a hole through you, you feared if you caught his eyes and the look in them the entire interaction today would tumble from your tongue.
You couldn’t ruin today, it was tradition, you had just begun to become folded into it. The joy of Tina calling your name for a hug, the talks about the new pastry ideas with Marcus, Sydney’s laughter, it soothes you like a balm, and you were sure the nausea crawling through your stomach would dissipate the second you entered.
But it didn’t, the beautiful lantern lights from outside the Beef glittered against the Chicago moonlight and the smell of Italian meatballs engulfed your senses and you still felt like you were being ripped apart from the inside.
You had said your hellos to everyone, biting back a yelp as Tina’s hand pressed against the bruise on your side, and nodding to Richie’s rambles whilst you felt outside of your own skin.
Your mind kept replaying the scene of him lunging st you, bristling your skin till goosebumps spread through, until your mind was exhausted from fear and well, fucking exhaustion and Carmen had to call your name too many times to rip you from your thoughts.
“Hey, you alright?” Carmen asks with that soft honey tone he keeps for you.
You nod with a smile, and Carmen’s eyes shift towards your plate untouched. It was your favourite, a twist on Osso Buco and yet it laid un moving, Carmen knew it, you did too, and you held back tears as Carmen simply nodded, not sure if he was overstepping his boundaries.
It was the first lick of the start of something, the both of you, the bloom of a companionship Carmen felt was destined, like it was seared into the sand years before you both had even come into existence. And Carmen was new to this, and that opened up a whole can of worms, he didn’t want to fuck it up, he didn’t want to think about fucking it up, but god did he always seem to fuck it up.
You reached across the table to grab the jar of water, your shirt riding up without you noticing. Tina’s eyes widen at the peek of a purple imprint from under your shirt and she has nearly drops her fucking fork
“Baby? What happened to your side?” Tina replies with concern, her voice is quiet but the tables loud boisterous conversations begin to slow down.
You tug your shirt down, and you burn with guilt like you had been caught with this big secret. Carmen immediately looks towards your side, his eyes scanning the way you since a little as your finger brushes against it.
“Nothing, uh um I fell” You don't even believe yourself
“That looks more than something you get tripping over your feet darling, did something happen?”
“What? What’s she saying honey? What did you see Tina?” Tina’s gaze flutters to Carmen, and there’s a pause like she’s assessing whether it was Carmen’s doing before the reality of who he is hits her. It was ingrained in every woman, and Carmen wouldn’t be an exception. Even for a second.
“Looks like someone’s goddam fist imprinted into her skin”
The restaurant is completely quiet now, and your head falls to your uneaten plate of veal, they look towards you in concern hearing the end of Tina’s words.
Carmen lifts your shirt, and you don’t stop him, the reality of your attack is shown right there in front of him, the imprint of a large hand bruising purple and blue.
Carmen’s eyes burn into the skin, his fists shaking as he remains silent, the rest of the family look on in horror, whispers of “holy fuck?” and eyes seeing the way Carmen practically vibrates, like he’s a second away from exploding.
“..Who did this?”
“It was my fault- I”
“Who did this baby? Who hurt you?” Carmen replies with an exhaled murmur.
“I’m, uh, Uhm- he- oh Carmen” You can’t get the words out, they’re stuck in your throat and you can’t get them out. You feel trapped, your body is sweating like you’re caged, like you're wading through a current and you're losing yourself to the weight of it, your breakdown on display for the whole world to see.
You blink back tears as Carmen tilts your chin to face him, and the look on his face, the look of distraught and fear that blossoms across his features un tetheres the tightly wrapped self control you had formed.
And Carmen scoops you up into his arms so that the entire family doesn’t have to see you break into his shoulder.
His soothing words are like a balm to your distress and he walks you, bridal style to the first aid cabinet, sitting you down on the counter, wiping away your tears as his fingers shake and his throat bobs with a tight swallow. He hastily tugs your shirt, kissing back the howls of pain as he whispers “I know, I know baby girl, I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry.”
His soft fingers press gently against the bruise as he rubs a heating ointment across it, he wraps a warm compress around it as bandage and his eyes are avoiding your own as he focuses his fingers on your skin.
“Carmen?” You whisper, the hiccups of tears resounding from your throat, Carmen reaches for a painkiller, placing it in your palm with a whisper of affirmation, he gently tips your head back as he pours water into your mouth, and you swallow it quickly, before looking back at him.
“Carmen? Please” You reply, had you done it, had you ruined everything?
“I can’t look at you because I fear I might break, and- and I can’t right now okay darling? I have to find, I have to find who did this, and I need to make it right, hm? I need to make sure your safe because god my heart is outside of my chest and I can’t feel anything but fear” Carmen replies with a tight low voice, his fists shake as he pressed them into the counter beside your thighs, but he looks up to meet your gaze anyway, and he smiles tightly as the tears stream down.
“Oh Carmen, this isn't on you, you couldn't have possibly known” You reply, wiping a hand across his cheeks.
“How can you say that? I am your, I am meant to protect you, and you, you come limping in without me noticing, fucking Tina saw it before I could, and i hate myself for it” Carmen replies, his cerulean blues shining bright against the shine of tears.
“Who did this, someone at work? A guy on the street?” Carmen replies and you flick away from his gaze, hand falling to your lap as your tongue burns with the desire to just say it all.
“You've got to tell me baby girl, you have to know I've got to make it right, I won’t sleep till I do. '' Carmen replies with a pained cry, like his heart is breaking from the thought of letting this go un avenged. And it's the tortured look on his face, it's the shake of his limbs like he wants to destroy and burn the entire world around him till he finds whoever has done this that uncurls your tongue and lets everything out in the open.
“What? This has been going on for months? Why didn’t you tell me?” Carmen replies, his thumb rubbing soft circles across your thigh.
“Didn’t want to scare you away Carmen, i love-i I like you a lot, more than I have anyone and I didn't want to fuck it up and unload all my problems onto you like a dumpster” You reply, and it sounds stupid when you say it out loud, and when Carmen looks up at you in disbelieved confusion.
“Huh? Oh sweet girl, I’m meant to help you bear it all, that’s why I'm here, and the idea of you thinking I'll love you any less, that I won't help you because of something like this haunts me. I’m meant to protect you yeah? That’s my fucking job, and I’ve failed it” Carmen replies with a grunt.
“No one has said anything like that to me” You say, eyes looking up to him, you weren't shocked, but you weren't, were not shocked, never had you experienced this, this burning adoration for another person, this soft warmth that burst through you at the sound of Carmen's voice promising his devotion, promising his unyielding protection. It armoured you more than a pocket knife ever could.
Carmen presses a soft kiss to your head, before shuffling around the kitchen, walking back into the dining tables, hushing out replies of ‘she's okay’ before coming back in with your things under his arm.
“What are you doing?” You reply in question, as he slowly picks you up with an arm, and gently places you back down. His eyes are constantly flickering to your side, like he’s torturing himself with the image of the first time he saw the horrific bruise across your side.
He had never felt true fear until then, the shatter of his heart beneath his breast as he realises you had gotten hurt and he didn't even fucking realise. Nothing had mattered but your safety and he scared himself with how much his body shook with a desire to destroy the person responsible.
“I’m driving back to your apartment, where you're going to grab your necessities, whilst I pay a visit to your little neighbour downstairs. You’re staying with me, for however long,” Carmen replies with a sneer, walking you through the back door, which you were all too thankful for, you couldn't bear to see the look on the crew’s faces if you had to walk back in.
“Carmen you can’t” You reply rushed, as Carmen slid you into the passenger seat, before clicking on your seat belt for you. He cocks his head, before raising his eyebrows
“Oh, I can’t? Honey, the police don’t do their job and my baby get’s fucking hurt. Nah, that doesn't work for me” Carmen replies, before rushing to enter the driver's seat, shifting the gear into drive before speeding down the city streets.
His focused on the road, his face unblinking and he grips the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white, you can’t stop looking at him, his gorgeous under the moonlight of the skies, his cheeks crimson from his tears, his cerulean blues calling to you like the sea, and the curl of his blonde hair falling like waves.
The view of your apartment complex comes into your vision as Carmen turns into the carpark in one swift move, you can’t stop the shake of your fingers and Carmen wants to slam his first into the steering wheel when he notices.
“You alright?” Carmen replies “You can stay here, I’ll grab whatever you need”
You want to stay, want to remain in the safety of his sleek tinted windows, but you want to face it too, and somehow that need is more important, he doesn’t get to win, no fucking way.
You unclip your seat belt, opening the door as you turn to him “You going to show me how you protect me or what?”
Carmen bites back a smile, god he was so fucking proud. He could tell you were scared shit less, and yet you fought through that fear, and god you mesmerised him. You were stronger than he could ever be, and he wanted to take that burden from you, carry it himself so you didn't have to.
Carmen jogs to the back of the car, reaching into the boot before the clunk of wood on gravel meets your ears. Carmen nods towards you, as he grips a bat under his arm
“He puts a bruise on you and i break all his fucking bones” Carmen replies, and you can’t stop the joy that image brings you
Carmen walks you to your apartment, waiting outside like a hawk, his bat tight against his grip as he watches the hallways, and for the first time in what seemed like forever, you feel infinitly and utterly safe.
You throw your toiletries into a bag, grabbing a few nights of clothes and your work shoes. You eyes flicker around your apartment, it had been home to you for the past 4 years, and yet it felt so foreign to you now, you had grown to attest this place, this place you had filled with so much of yourself, and you hate him so much at that moment, for making you feel this way about a place you had once loved.
You leave your apartment with the door shut closed.
Carmen carries your bag and places them back into the back seat of the car, and as he begins to walk towards the apartment of your neighbour you reach a hand out to stop him.
“Honey, I’ve got to-” Carmen begins before you shut him quickly
“I want to watch” You reply quietly, and Carmen’s eyes flicker, before lacing his fingers into yours, as you both knock on his door.
There's a grumble before the clank of a chain slides open, and his face appears as the door opens to him, you can see the illuminated light of his TV glaring, the floor covered with pizza boxes and beer cans. You see in real time, how his face morphs from anger into fear, his eyes dropping as he sees the way Carmen practically shakes, and the man isn’t able to let out a word, a protest or wail of a plea before the crack of Carmen's wooden bat swings through the air.
-- -
“Are you sure he isn't dead?” You reply, as you dip a washcloth into warm water, wiping away the blood across Carmen’s neck
“He isn’t going to die if I wasn’t the one causing it, besides, if he does, that’s God finishing off the rest of it”. Carmen replies, raising his face so that you cleaned the last of the streaks of blood splattered across his jaw.
Carmen reaches for your hands, pressing a kiss to the top of them as he looks at you in that way like he yearns for you to be closer.
“You need sleep, but first you need to eat, yeah?” Carmen replies, shushing your protests and he carries you to his room in his arms, after he notices the exhaustion in your limbs. It’s dark, illuminated only by the wall to ceiling windows that look into the busy city streets and light up sky scrapers.
The sheets are strewn across the bed, haphazard like Carmen had rushed to get them off of him in the early mornings. Carmen slides you into them, tucking you within the soft pillowy blanket, sitting on the edge as he caresses your cheek softly.
He leaves for a moment, rushing to make you something to eat, his skin crawling with a need to feel you against him, nearly tripping over himself as he walks back into his room with a bowl of soup and a bottle of water.
Carmen sits next to you again, pressing spoonfuls of soup into your mouth and wiping the edges ceremoniously as you rest against the headboard half asleep.
You don’t notice the way he looks at you, like he's trying to memorise every dip and curve of your face, his fingers clutching the spoon tight like he’s going to break if he doesn't hold you against him.
“Honey?” Carmen replies hushed
“Hmh?” You reply, your eyes heavy as the comfort of Carmen's warmth spreads through you.
“Don’t ever scare me like that again, you tell me everything okay? Everything” Carmen replies pained, like the events that transpired somehow still were not resolved, like breaking the man's legs wasn't enough for him.
“Okay” You reply, and Carmen places the dishes onto the bedside table, leaving it to the morning because he can't keep you away from him any longer.
Carmen joins you in the bed, the left side of his bed finally taken by somebody for the first time in a long time. Tugging you against him, Carmen curls your body to lay against his chest, his fingers softly gracing your back, soft circles that had begun to lull you to a sleep you hadn’t felt in months, years even.
The beat of Carmen's heart joins with yours, together and entwined like how it was always meant to be, why had Carmen waited so long? Why had he let time pass without you tucked under him, safe within his arms and away from all the horrors of the world.
It’s only when Carmen notices the shift in your breathing, falling into a soft exhale before he even lets the whispers of sleep grip him within its grasps, his shoulders finally release from its tensed state once he knows you've finally fallen into a sleep that had been kept from you.
“You don’t know how much I love you baby girl, it fucking scares me, but I’ll keep reminding you until infinity if I have to, until you know it deep down like I do” Carmen mumbles out, his eyes falling heavy and you grips you against his chest.
You don’t really know how, but even between the state of sleep and consciousness, you hear him, and you whisper between the space in your bodies, that you already do.
#neonovember#neo writes#requests#requests open#carmen berzatto x you#carmen berzatto x fem!reader#carmen berzatto#carmen berzatto x reader#carmen berzatto fic#carmen berzatto fanfiction#the bear#the bear fx#the bear season 2#feral!carmen#feral!carmen berzatto#carmy the bear#carmy berzatto x fem!reader#carmy x reader#carmy fic#carmy#carmen berzatto angst#carmen berzatto x angst#carmen berzatto fluff#carmen berzatto x fluff#carmen berzatto masterlist#carmy berzatto#carmy x fem!reader#carmy berzatto x reader#the bear fanfiction#angst
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it’s a forever kind of thing
hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will)
while in san jose, samy and will realize they can’t stay away from each other and all it takes is a dinner out to get them back together
6k words
warnings: 18+!!, smut (but like halfway through), making out, hickeys, oral (m + f receiving), unprotected sex (she’s on the pill), please read at your own risk!
GUYS! it’s here!! the long awaited fic where samy and will get back together! instead of breaking it into two, i made it one long fic, so halfway through is when they have sex, so if you don’t wanna read that u can skip over it, but i decided to just put it all in one. this took me forever to write lowkey bc i never knew how to write it, but i like how this came out so i hope you guys too!! yay!! get excited for happy will and samy coming your way again!
au masterlist
the san jose heat wasn't a joke. any room in the apartment felt like it was 100° and it didn't help that they were trying to unpack boxes and build things in the high temperatures. samy was on the floor trying to figure out how to put together a shelf while also wiping the beads of sweat running down her forehead every five seconds. even the five different box fans scattered around the apartment didn't do anyone justice.
somewhere further in was will helping his mom put the bed together while grace did her best to hang frames in one of the hallways. the four of them were working hard, but the heat was quickly getting to everyone and what should've been a four hour job turned into almost six hours by now.
"what the fuck," samy mumbled to herself, eyes bouncing between the directions and the pieces of wood that definitely didn't fit together even though they were supposed to.
will should've recruited her brothers to fly over since they were way better at building things than she could ever be. whatever the directions were trying to tell her were not making any sense.
she was really tempted to call luke and bug him about it, but a different voice startled her a bit before she even pulled her phone out.
will's gaze stuck to hers where he stood in the doorway, "need help?"
samy met his eyes, flushing under his stare and sweaty figure, "uh..i mean..i think i'm doing it right but for some reason it doesn't look like it," she admitted truthfully.
will took that as his cue to crouch down. samy slid him the paper and let him read it over incase she was just missing something entirely.
"well i think the first problem is that these aren't the same pieces in the picture," the blonde determined, eyes gazing at the wood.
"i fucking knew it! i knew they didn't go together!" the girl exclaimed in triumph because she'd been feeling stupid about that for thirty minutes.
"i don't need shelves anyway. they're stupid," will shrugged some while disregarding the paper onto the floor.
"yeah, just make your own or some shit," they shared a small laugh which was happening a lot more frequently since they got there.
things were..rocky still, but it wasn't as bad. they even sat next to each other on the plane even though neither of them really spoke. it was progress and that was what mattered anyway.
"i can't believe it's so hot. i feel like i'm dying," will slid further onto the ground where he spread himself out against the hardwood.
"you better get used to it. it's supposed to get even hotter next week," samy informed, slipping to will that she may have been looking at the weather for san jose for him
"ugh, don't tell me that. i'm not made for the heat," he pushed his curls away from his sweaty forehead, but samy sort of found the movement just the tiniest bit attractive.
both of their hair was way more frizzier than usual because of the crazy heat, but something about it made the brunette a bit weak in the knees seeing will like that.
"did you get the bed together at least?" the girl wondered, leaning back against her palms.
"mostly, yeah. mom's doing the finishing touch. i had to walk out of there before she like exploded at me," the hockey player laughed and then samy did too. they knew how colleen got because she always wanted everything to be perfect.
"hey, one bed down. that's a win."
"yeah, sure. it's a win if you don't count my mom snapping at me every five seconds," will rolled his eyes.
"the heat makes people cranky. i don't blame her. you're kind of hard to work with sometimes," samy shrugged and will's head snapped up.
"what does that mean?"
"i dunno. whatever you want it to mean," she hummed earning a playful groan from the boy beside her. she managed a small smile, lifting her gaze to the rest of the apartment.
the four of them got most of it decorated and it was actually coming out really well. it screamed will and samy knew it was because almost all the ideas were taken from the pinterest board she made for this exact occasion.
most of the apartment was thanks to samy. colleen always said she had an eye for designing.
the girl's gaze landed on a picture frame stuck up on a shelf that did get put together and hung up. she stared at it for a moment, trying to figure out who was in the photo because she'd never seen it before. it wasn't until a minute later that she realized it was a picture of her and will.
they looked a bit young. 17 or so? samy was in her high school soccer uniform with a large medal hanging off her neck and will hanging off her side. they had big, bright smiles across their lips and both of them held the number 1 on the fingers for the photo. samy had no clue when or who took that photo, but it brought another smile to her lips.
"who took that photo of us?" she let the question slip out. will finally sat back up, trying to see what photo was being asked about.
"the one up there?"
"yeah," samy pointed to the shelf.
"uh..i think my mom took it. you'd just won the state championship for your last high school game," will explained the backstory and suddenly, it all came back to the girl.
"samy!" the brunette spun around. she caught sight of her three brothers rushing towards her in pure excitement. luke got to her first as he picked her up and spun her around in a tight hold.
"i'm so proud of you, samy!" the curly-haired boy exclaimed.
"you did so great, squirt! congratulations!" jack and quinn hugged her next. samy beamed from ear to ear at all the praise while the emotions of her last high school game ever started coursing through her.
"you're a fucking state champion for the second year in a row! how fucking cool!" jack rambled on and said how there's gonna be competition on the mantle where their parents put their kids' most important trophies and medals.
samy sort of stopped listening to her brothers when she saw will pushing his way through with grace and his parents in tow. she sort of shoved jack away as she rushed to will. he opened his arms wide and they met in the middle win a similar hug that luke gave her.
"i'm so, so proud of you, hughesy," will hummed into her shoulder.
"i'm so glad you came," the girl grinned some more.
"i want a picture!" colleen said, her phone already out. will let samy go as he shuffled to her side. she leaned her head into him until their heads touched and then she stuck up her pointer finger to signal as number 1.
she must've been so caught up in the moment that samy forgot the picture was even taken. the memory made her smile because she had all of her important people at that game and that meant so much to her.
"wow, that feels so long ago," samy finally spoke again, bringing her knees to her chest.
"yeah, i know. we were so..oblivious back then," will let the words slip from his mouth as he watched the girl's reaction.
her body tensed up a bit because she knew what he was talking about—so oblivious to the feelings they had for each other and what was to come out of that and where it would lead them.
"yeah. we were," the brunette hummed out.
she thought about the conversation with gabe and ryan from last week. she knew that everything they said was true, she just hadn't chosen to believe it quite yet. plus, what if she was scared of what her heart was trying to tell her?
obviously, it had something to say if she was sitting in san jose helping her ex decorate his new apartment even after he broke her heart and she was supposed to hate him for it. where was the hate when they sat inches apart in the living room without a couch all while reminiscing on their younger years?
"when do you start preseason?" will changed the subject and samy refocused her attention on him.
"next week," the girl beamed a bit. she was excited for the new season knowing a national title was definitely in their future this year.
"wow, that's soon."
"i suppose so, yeah. when do you start?"
"next week," will said and it was hard to believe this whole nhl thing was actually happening.
it didn't even seem like a reality when they were kids and now will was living out his dream of playing for an nhl team.
"i don't know if i've said this..but.i am proud of you. really proud. you're gonna do great here," the air in the room shifted a bit. it felt bittersweet hearing samy say those things after will basically pushed her out of his life.
she'd always support him no matter what.
the boy's gaze softened out as he ducked his eyes, "thanks, samy. that means a lot coming from you."
"you really do deserve all of this. you've worked really hard for it," she nodded as if she was affirming her words.
will blushed, but he didn't do anything to hide it, "thanks for coming. i-i know things haven't been...and i know i can't keep saying it, but i really am sorry for hurting you. i thought i was saving you from hurt, but i did the opposite."
"thank you for saying that. i..i don't really know what our relationship will be or if it ever will go back to how it was before this, but..i'm willing to try," the two shared a smile.
"i know this is probably gonna be a crazy ask, but..since we only have one more night until you leave tomorrow, would you wanna..like..get dinner? just the two of us?" will dared to ask because he'd regret it more if he didn't ask and lose his chance at proving himself to her.
this time it was samy's turn to blush, "are you asking me on a date?"
"do you want it to be a date?" they held each other's gazes for a moment before samy slowly nodded.
"yeah, let's go to dinner together," she smiled and so did will.
"really?"
"yeah, i think it'd be fun."
so it was settled. will and samy were going on a date that could potentially fix everything between them or be a total shit show. they both secretly hoped for the former.
—
they decided on 7. samy came out of the guest room in a dress marcie packed away for her when she told her friend she was flying to san jose with will. marcie claimed it would be "this exact occasion" meaning the girl was also hoping they'd make up their differences on this trip.
it wasn't anything special. it went down to her ankles in a soft pink with embroidered roses down each side of the dress. samy paired it with some sandal wedges and maybe her hand shook she did her makeup, but that didn't matter because this felt like another grace period.
if it went well, then..who knows. if it went horribly, they'd never talk about it again and at least samy was leaving so they wouldn't have to face the awkwardness too much. again, both of them hoped for the former.
grace saw samy first when she walked into the kitchen. the older girl's expression slipped into a smirk as she nudged her brother's arm who's gaze wasn't on samy. however, when he did see the girl for the first time, his eyes were the size of the moon and he couldn't look away.
"too much?" samy wondered nervously. she didn't know how dressy they were getting, but based on will's button down and dress shorts, she decided it was the right option.
"no, no. you look..you look great," will gulped while grace didn't stop her little snicker.
"oh wow, what's the occasion?" colleen came into the room, a look of surprise on her features seeing will and samy so dressed up.
"we're going for dinner," the blonde explained to his mom.
"the two of you?" the older woman's eyebrows raised
"yeah. it won't be long," will said.
the look on colleen's face said everything she didn't except a little, "have fun then."
the two managed small smiles as will led samy out of the apartment. grace and colleen didn't say anything until the door closed and gentle smiles fell on their lips.
"i really hope it works out between them," mrs. smith hummed.
"oh, i think it will. he won't let her go again," grace said.
will and samy started up the street where they'd have to walk a few blocks to the restaurant they decided on. they didn't say much, but the silence was comforting. it felt like a first date all over again except they knew everything about one another already.
"this is weird, but like in a good way," samy finally spoke first.
will managed a light laugh, "what does that mean?"
"like..weird i didn't think i'd ever agree to this, but i'm glad i did?" it was hard to put into words for samy.
her heart told her one thing while her head said something completely different.
"well, i hope you're still glad by the end of the night," will said, their gazes meeting briefly.
samy thought he looked better than ever. his curls were the perfect amount of curl and whatever the dev camp did to him worked some wonders because..wow. not that samy could ever peel her eyes off him, she really couldn't now.
they made it the restaurant and samy got another perfect excuse to stare at will when he sat down across from her at their little table in a corner.
"this okay?" will wondered, meaning there they'd been sat.
"it's perfect. i like how cozy it feels," the brunette smiled. will did too because he knew how much samy liked the corner tables because he also knew she felt too open when they sat in the middle of the room.
they spent a bit of time looking over the menu when the waiter came over. she smiled at the two, "i really love your dress. it's beautiful," she said to samy.
"oh, thank you. i appreciate that," the younger girl beamed.
after ordering, samy and will got into a bit of small talk that slowly shifted into regular talk that shifted into what felt like how they used to talk before things happened.
"you ever think about what you'd do if you got injured or something and you couldn't play anymore and had to retire?" samy stirred her straw around her cup.
"yeah, all the time. that actually might be me and my parents biggest worry," will laughed lightly.
"what would you do?"
"probably be really sad for awhile, but i'd get better and try to find another hobby i could take on," the blonde shrugged.
"i remember when we were kids you always said you'd become a coach if you couldn't ever skate anymore," samy said softly and will's own expression softened at the idea of samy remembering that.
"i really can't picture my life without hockey," they shared a laugh.
"yeah that sounds like you. you're all in, but i get it. hockey's my family's whole life. i can't imagine life without it either," the soccer player hummed.
"i just know i'd be so upset if the one thing i dedicate my life to can't happen anymore. it'd honestly make me have an identity crisis," will frowned.
"i kind of feel the same way about soccer. i don't really know who i am outside of the sports i've grown up playing," samy laughed but more as to hide the small pain she felt at the idea of really not knowing who she was.
"well, i think you're really generous. you have a big heart and you don't ever back down from anything. you're great with kids and your love for everyone you meet is super contagious," will didn't miss a beat with that leaving the girl across from him in surprise.
her cheeks flushed an embarrassing red, "you're just saying that."
"i'm not. you're probably one of the best people i know."
the look in will's eyes told samy how serious he was being. she just disregarded his comments despite the pounding in her chest and her hot cheeks.
the two spent the entire rest of dinner lost in conversation. both of their hearts felt full when they made it back outside where the temperature finally felt a few degrees cooler.
"this was a lot of fun. i really enjoyed it," samy said to will, a deep, loving smile on her lips.
"i'm glad you had fun. i did too," the boy smiled back.
they stood in a beat of silence trying to figure out what the next move was. tension filled the air, but not an angry one that's been there for awhile. this tension was different. it was thick, but heavy with what seemed like love and lust.
"would it be crazy if i kissed you?" will's voice was small and a bit shaky when he asked.
his eyes were everywhere on the girl in front of him because he'd been inching touch her since she walked out in the dress clinging to her body. actually, he'd been thinking about this since last week when they were at his going away party.
"no. i don't think so," samy inched herself closer to the blonde. her eyes were also everywhere and her breath hitched when he laid a hand on her lip.
will looked at her for one last reassuring look that he could go all in. when samy nodded he took that opportunity. his lips were hard against hers and so was his hand on her hip.
they molded into one another like they never spent time apart. samy's hands found their respective places on will's chest and in his hair at the back of his head.
their steady breathing turned into heavy pants when they pulled away for a second. big smiles danced on both of their lips at the feeling of being pressed up against one another because it was a feeling they missed a lot.
"is this.." will's voice faded off because he didn't quite know what he was asking.
"it's okay. more than okay," samy nodded eagerly.
"maybe we should go back to my place?" the boy said because they were still on the sidewalk and people were walking by.
"yeah, right. of course," the girl nodded and they started back down the sidewalk to will's apartment.
the smiles on their lips were evident and they grew even bigger when their fingers slowly intertwined with one another. earlier samy's heart and head were in different places making her feel lost. right now, they were in the exact same place and she knew exactly what she was feeling: love.
because she'd always love will. even after he broke her heart. even after he did everything to prove to her he regretted everything he did. she loved him through and through and samy knew he felt the exact same way about her.
of course, that didn't mean her guard was broken down completely. there was still a lot of cracks to be repaired and that only came with time and more trust.
right now, though, none of that mattered when samy stumbled back into the apartment with will. it was dark since grace and mrs. smith headed back to the hotel room for the night because maybe they both knew the date would lead to something more.
will's lips were back on samy's as soon as the door was closed. he pushed her up against the hardwood as she reciprocated his actions, kissing his lips hard and running her hands through his now messy curls.
they were fully making out—hungry for each other's lips because they'd been apart for so long. samy's hands fumbled with the buttons of will's shirt in a desperate attempt to peel it off of him.
"i really missed you," will mumbled against her lips between the kissing. he felt the girl smile.
"i missed you too," she said as the blonde pulled her closer against his body.
his boner pressed against her lower stomach and it sent butterflies through the girl, especially when will's one hand moved to grab her ass. a noise escaped her lips right into will's mouth.
"is this okay?" the blonde asked, worried he was moving too fast.
"yes, it's perfect," samy started becoming breathless again. she pushed the rest of his shirt down his arms, exposing his entire torso. her eyes racked down his toned body, gripping slightly on the muscled arms.
"they've been working you good," the girl laughed a little making will blush.
"you think so?" he grinned, always loving samy's praise.
"mhm," her words got lost in her throat when she pulled the boy back to her lips.
they made out a bit longer until will's lips dropped further down. he kissed down her neck until getting to her collarbone and the top of her breasts. the blonde began sucking lightly and little moans finally escaped samy's lips at the feeling. her head hit the door, her grip hard on will's arms.
"fuck, will," samy moaned out, her sounds going straight to his dick still throbbing in his pants.
"missed this so much," the boy's voice was muffled against her skin. she laughed, tugging his curls which in turn made will suck harder.
"you're gonna get me in trouble with these," samy said knowing all the girls in the locker room would see them next week. all will did was shrug.
"good. they'll know who they came from," he looked up for a second and the look in his eyes held a certain type of possession in them.
"can i at least return the favor?" she's been dying to have her mouth on will's body since she saw those pictures of him at the bauer combine a few months ago.
"just keep them low so no one sees them," will said, standing back up with a little smirk on his face.
they switched positions so will was against the door and samy didn't waste any time placing her lips halfway down his stomach. immediately, will's head was against the door with his hands gripping the girl's arms. he really did miss her lips on him like this.
"jesus christ," he mumbled lowly, eyes closing in pleasure.
the girl's lips nipped and sucked every part of his skin. sometimes she'd give a little bite and will would have to restrain himself from tugging her hair. when she moved further down closer to his waistband the blonde nearly saw stars.
she didn't even have to touch him and he was falling apart for her. "oh, samy. fuck," his moans filled her with pride because she knew no one else could make will feel like this just from some little hickeys.
she stood back up and will's lust-filled gaze stuck to her. their lips met again in a more passionate kiss where will led her to the bedroom since the living room still had no couch. samy left her shoes and followed the blonde to the bed where she had one thing in her mind.
she went for his pants, tugging them down his legs and leaving him in just his underwear. will looked up at her with slightly heavy pants, his heart pounding but not because he was nervous. samy's eyes were on the bulge in his underwear, reaching forward to wrap her hand around it. will jumped from her delicate touch, jaw clenching.
he was hot and heavy and samy knew he was already ready for her. she liked how hard will always got just from making out where she barely even touched him.
"s-samy, please," will got out, desperate for anything more than her stroking him. his desperate tone made the brunette smile as she finally took him out of his underwear.
he was red all over and samy's mouth watered in anticipation. she leaned herself down, sticking her tongue out to slowly lick a stripe from the bottom up. will's hips immediately stuttered on the first touch.
"fuck."
samy grabbed ahold of him with her hand, her thumb swiping over the sensitive tip before plunging back down his length. will groaned out, gripping the bedsheets while his stomach clenched multiple times. finally, her mouth locked around him, going in deeper than ever making the blonde nearly scream.
"shit. shit," will instinctively bucked his hips up where samy placed one hand down so he couldn't move.
"gotta stay still, pretty boy," the nickname left her lips faster than she could stop it. it was music to will's ears though because he's missed hearing her call him that.
"i'm sorry. i'm sorry. feels so good," he mumbled out a bit incoherently. any straight thought was quickly leaving the hockey player's brain while the pleasure took over.
just for that, samy sucked him harder, using her hand to pump the part she couldn't fit in her mouth. will was on cloud 9. his head pushed back into the pillow while he did his best to keep himself from bucking up, but each little suck and scrape on his cock was making it harder and harder for him to stay still.
"fuck—i'm not gonna last. gonna make me cum," will got out when he forced his gaze back on the girl below him. the sight was to die for. samy was on her knees still in her dress, but her tits were practically spilling out of it along with the hickeys scattered across her chest.
she figured will wouldn't last long based on the way he kept twitching in her mouth. she didn't blame him though because her underwear were soaked all the way through at the sound of him begging to cum.
"uh, samy. fuck— please. wanna cum," his words jumbled together as his stomach clenched and the feeling continued building.
"come for me, will. it's okay," samy finally said and will let go. his hips bucked up, uncontrollable moans escaping his lips as he released his load into her mouth.
she took it all, swallowing it down until he was finished. she let go with a pop and will's dick fell back onto his stomach twitching still. samy grinned at him.
"f-fuck. i haven't..done that in so long," the blonde mumbled meaning he hasn't done anything with anyone since they broke up.
he pulled her down on top of him, going for her lips again where he could taste himself on her and some of her strawberry lipgloss. in between the kissing, will's fingers found the little zipper on the back of the dress. he slowly pulled it down where samy helped by taking her arms out of the straps and pushing it the rest of the way down her body until it pooled at her legs.
the hockey player's gaze glued itself to the matching set samy sported. her pretty pink lacey bra and hot pink thong matched her dress perfectly and will swore he felt his cock harden all over again.
"what is this?" will mumbled, eyes still glued to the underwear.
"what? my underwear?" samy laughed lightly.
"you're gonna fucking kill me," the blonde said making the brunette smile. she let will flip them over so she was on the bed now. he stared down at her, eyes filled with lust and love.
"gonna make you feel so good," he said with one finger hooking into the waistband of her thong.
"you better keep your word," samy teased him.
will's lips were on her a second later. he started just below her chest, kissing down her stomach in slightly wet kisses until he reached the waistband. he pushed the band aside, eyes glowing at the site of samy's already wet pussy.
"jesus. i haven't even done anything and you're this wet already?" his eyes briefly found hers and all samy could do was shrug.
"your moans were hot. what can i say?" as much as will tried to show his dominance, the twitch in his cock at her words said everything about how much control samy had no matter what.
will didn't waste another second attaching his lips. his grip was hard on her thighs as his tongue slowly explored her insides. her hands flew to his hair where she pulled and tugged hard when will found the perfect spots.
"mmm, fuck will. just like that," samy nodded, eyes closed and back arching off the bed the deeper he got.
"fuck you taste so good," the blonde said. he could do this forever if he could because there was no better taste or feeling than his girl and the way she harshly tugged at his curls.
her little moans and whimpers started getting to him again. will moved his hips against the mattress, desperate to find some relief in his already aching cock while he continued his attack on samy's beautiful pussy.
"will, i'm gonna cum," samy got out, that feeling quick to snap in her stomach because she too hasn't felt this in so long, so she wasn't gonna last at all.
"that's it, pretty girl. come for me," will encouraged and samy did just that.
she released right onto him in a loud moan, glad that they had the apartment all to themselves. when she was finished she met will's gaze where he licked his lips clean and beamed up at her.
"you're actually amazing," he hummed earning a little eye roll from the girl. she tugged him up to kiss his lips, also tasting herself on him. will pulled at her hips, their bodies pressing together until samy flipped them over again. she straddled his lap, the hockey player gazing up at her in a loopy grin.
"wanna fuck you," she said, hands running down his torso. he nodded, hands eagerly squeezing her thighs.
"yes, please. want you to ride me. haven't seen you on top in months," will was a mess making samy smile. she leaned back to stroke will's cock again, getting it ready for her.
"wait, fuck. i don't have any condoms," the blonde quickly realized that in the moving process he didn't buy any and he threw away the ones he had before so his mom didn't see them.
"it's okay. i'm on the pill and i trust you," samy said like it wasn't a big deal but will's eyes widened.
"a-are you sure?" he's dreamed about having sex without a condom, but he didn't think that would happen for another year or two.
"positive. do you trust me?" samy asked and the boy quickly nodded.
"of course i do. i-i just.." his voice faded.
"we don't have to if you're not comfortable. i was just offering it," samy noticed his shift, but will shook his head.
"no, no. i want to. i just.." his face blushed a hot red, "i probably won't last long at all," it felt embarrassing to say, but samy only smiled.
"it's okay. honestly, that's flattering of you to say," they shared a laugh and she felt will relax a bit more underneath her.
"as long as you're sure, i'm sure," will nodded more firmly this time.
the brunette giggled as she pushed her thong aside and started lining will up with her entrance. he slipped in almost immediately and both of their eyes closed at the feeling. he stretched her out, the pleasure outweighing the pain and will's hands carefully gripped samy's hips in an attempt to keep his hips still until he was all the way in.
"oh god. holy fuck," he stuttered, his cock already throbbing for a release.
samy smiled, carefully moving her hips when she felt ready. the pace started slow until will started matching her pace with little thrusts of her hips. they began moving at a more steady pace, the only sounds in the room were their skin slapping together.
"fuck, yeah. feels so good, will," samy moaned out, hands sprawled across his chest for leverage.
"you're so beautiful," the boy mumbled, eyes roaming everywhere across her body.
his hands grabbed handfuls of her ass, moaning out at the feeling of her in his hold. little beads of sweat littered their bodies and it wasn't just because of the 100° temperatures anymore.
"fuck samy. 'm so close. god, you're so beautiful. i love you. i love you," will's words jumbled together again into incoherent thoughts and sentences. samy blushed hearing him say i love you.
"gonna come for me will?" she said between her own pants.
"yeah, gonna cum. gonna cum so hard," he continued.
"me too, pretty boy. you feel so good," samy threw her head back. the way will's cock continuously pierced her open had her falling apart on top of him. the feeling she was familiar with built up in her stomach until finally snapping when will thrusted particularly hard.
she moaned out, her hips stuttering and her orgasm taking over. the feeling of her clenching around his length also sent will over the edge.
he thrusted up, spilling his load inside of her, more uncontrollable moans leaving his lips and his head digging into the pillow.
"fuck, fuck, fuck. oh, fuck," he thrusted one more time into her, the last few drops leaving his now throbbing cock. samy fell onto the bed beside him, their chests heaving in an attempt to catch their breaths.
"that was.."
"really great," will finished her sentence. they laid there staring at the ceiling for a few more moments until the blonde shifted his gaze over to her.
he suddenly worried what this meant now. especially because samy was leaving tomorrow to go back to michigan. she felt his gaze on her, so she turned her body into him, eyes on him as well.
"so.." the boy became shy, his voice fading off in fear that if he asked, samy would say that this was a one time thing and she didn't want him back after all.
"so.." she copied his tone, her finger tracing his shoulder.
"what now?" he dared to ask.
"you said you love me?" samy said, remembering will's confession through his pleasure a few minutes ago. she watched his cheeks heat up again, but he didn't look away.
"i do. i mean i always have," the blonde admitted because it was true. he loved the girl beside him a whole, whole lot.
"you really hurt me," samy stared at his arm, will's smile disappearing into a frown.
"i know," their voices were quiet now.
"it's not gonna be all perfect like it was before all of this happened, you know," she continued.
"i know."
"it's gonna take awhile for me to completely trust you again."
"i know."
samy met his gaze again. his eyes had never left hers and she could see the love hiding within them the more she stared at him.
"i love you, too, will," their smiles slowly started returning.
"i promise i won't hurt you. i can't lose you again and i know that now," will shifted so they laid facing each other. he reached his hand out to brush some hair away from her face.
"you never lost me. i was always there," samy smiled a little and will beamed, pulling her closer to him so they were nearly chest to chest.
"i wish you weren't leaving tomorrow," the sadness crept back in knowing they could've had so much more time.
"me neither, but maybe i can make something happen to fly out for your first game," the girl grinned, trying to keep the mood light.
"i'd really love that," will returned her contagious smile.
they spent the rest of the night wrapped in each other's arms, holding onto all the time they had left until samy left for michigan and their long distance continued. this time, samy definitely knew her heart and head were on the same page because each of them were quiet in her mind as she fell asleep in will's hold.
#will smith hockey#hughes!sister x will smith au#samy x will#samy hughes#will smith x oc#boston college hockey#will smith imagine#boston college#uofmichigan#umich hockey#umich soccer#bc hockey#bc eagles#san jose sharks#sjs#ws6#umich wolverines#umich#umich boys#boston college hockey blurb#will smith hockey smut#will smith hockey fluff#boston college hockey imagine#boston college imagine#boston college eagles#umich imagine#umich au#will smith fluff
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How Will Your F/S Pursue You♚
Book A Reading With Me 💞
today, as i finish up the last of my readings for the week, i am eager to return just to make another reading talking about how your f/s will pursue you! go ahead and book a reading if you'd like to learn more about your future spouse or don't, whatever's fine 😭 today I'm doing a short reading since again I don't have that much time but I still want to make something cute 💞 with that being said...let's get started 💞💞
we have four piles; intuitively choose the one you're most drawn to.
Pile I. woman sm*king
[8oS, 9oS, 2oS, KoW, 7oC, the fool, p, s.c]
your person pursues you in a more laidback way. they're very unsure of themselves, most of them not likely to go ahead and pursue you without being sure that you're even in to them in the first place. they're quite shy. i can see them being the type of people that only stare at you when they know you're not watching. looking at you when you look at something else with a small smile on their face. thinking of you constantly. asking themselves if you like them or not. they might even be in a state of unrest, a will they won't they type of thing when it comes to pursuing you.
once they know though...then they change. they start acting different. start carrying themselves with more confidence. they start joking about so much lmao, almost like since they know that you're reciprocating their energy they feel comfortable enough to show you their true selves. also the type that feels that, after knowing you like them, will start to fantasize a lot about what could be. like they see you somewhere and they think about you for hours after.
pursuing you would be them being super shy at first, acting like you're not there. and then once they start getting the vibe that you're feeing them as well, that's when they start vibing more. being spontaneous, saying stuff that'll catch you off guard. being more possessive, grabbing at your waist or simply just letting people know that there's something going on between you both.
now please understand, these people will mess up. they might not say the right thing or do the right thing all the time. in fact, i think the f/s of this pile will be the one that messes up the most. they're not that experienced in the area of love, but one thing i will tell you is that having them pursue you is chaotic and funny but most of all warm.
Pile II. lonely in a movie theater
[the emperor, 4oW, KoS, Justice, 10oC, 10oS]
smooth talker fr. someone who knows how to worm their way into the heart of who they're talking to. i feel like they like to talk about the future. when you both are together they might look at random stuff and tell you to think of both of you doing those things together. they make themselves appear bigger too lmao like a peacock showing off their feathers.
also, things will get a little dark for a second so bare with me but, they're not people who know what happiness exactly is. they don't have a good picture of a happy healthy relationship.
that's why they seem to chase it with such vigor. they want what they've never had. they've likely grown up around people with silver tongues, people that can say exactly what you want to hear. might even be a fan of baby talk or just sweetening their words a lot. i also feel like that your person might highlight your differences to them a great deal. for ex. if they have dark hair and you have light hair you'll hear them say "if we have kids, i want them to have your hair"
being with you will also put them out of their comfort zone, like finding out that their words can also be met with actions. their words speaking of their future with you and their actions making sure no one tries to get with you in order to make it happen. telling you your attractive and making sure they show you off at the same time.
Pile III. riding a motorcycle
[PoW, 9oP, 2oW, AoP, AoC,Strength]
a definite gift giver. like this is giving me taurus/2nd house venus energy. someone that doesn't know how to love in words or actions but they're definitely good gift givers. they're very romantic. whether it be a small gift or a big one they're definitely going to deliver.
they like showing you their idea of what a better life could be at their side. might like taking you on trips fully paid. they have moneyyy. i imagine them taking you to a vacation spot and telling you about this plate on the menu that they love but you haven't tried; they're going to do all they can to make sure you try it as well. even if it means you ordering two plates lmao.
also i believe that they could win you over by just being there for you. supporting you, making sure that you're well cared for. loving you even in the hardest of times. they'd like to also act like they were hurt in order for you to take care of them lmao.
probably likes teasing you and commenting on how much you love him more. how you're the one who's fallen hopelessly in love all whilst knowing that they're the one that's fallen hard. might be a little more on the dramatic side lmao, think wattpad king falling for the calm and collected wallflower.
Pile IV. riding in the passenger seat
[AoW, 9oS, 8oS, 2oC, The Fool, QoP]
a mess in a heart shaped bottle. they don't know how to act. they're the type of people that change tactics easily. one moment they're totally going to go for it and the next they don't know how to approach you correctly.
they're Katy Perry's "Hot and Cold" personified. like they remind me a bit of Stiles from Teen wolf. they can be the type of person that feels like they have a 15 year plan then just like he did, they throw caution to the wind and ditch all that for a chance to talk to you. their way of coming to you is from all angles and from no where all at once. acts like they have no interest and then they forget about all that and they're professing love to you.
they'll behave very weirdly lmao. i mean i can imagine them going to you and telling you about their plans with you. trying to win you over slowly. taking you on dates. treating you with care and respect. being careful to not even touch you LMAO and then i can see them forget about all that and just be spontaneous. taking you on last minute adventures, calling you out of the blue. stuff like that.
will get crazy if they find out someone's trying to steal you from them but they also love the chase. love knowing that you're into them but almost acting coy? I can also see them approaching you as a friend at first. Aquarius vibes? but with a stable purpose. so aqua and taurus mixed.
#pick a card#pick a pile#pick a card reading#pac reading#intuitive reading#intuition#astro notes#FS pac#fs reading
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better start practicing - rafe cameron
summary: you see a soft and unexpected side of rafe, leading you both to confess your true feelings about the future.
word count: 1k
___
The barbeque was in full swing as Rafe guided you by the hand through friends and family alike on the back porch of Tanneyhill. You were more or less a permanent fixture at the Cameron's at this point, but this was the first time you had gotten to meet Rafe's extended family and it felt like a significant step forward in your relationship. Plus, you got to see another side of him that was so sweet and soft, drinking in the familial affection he didn't get on a regular basis from doting aunts and proud uncles. He glowed, even through pinched cheeks and endless heckling about you: "Rafe Cameron, pictures simply do not do this pretty girl justice. How did you get so lucky? You take good care of her, you hear?" You were both drinking in the compliments and love, such a welcome divergence from the usually dark and critical pallor that Ward cast on Tanneyhill.
After awhile you had gotten separated from Rafe when one of his uncles pulled him aside to talk. Wanting to give him time to catch up with everyone, you wandered over to Sarah and your friends. Despite the distance between you, you could feel Rafe's eyes tracking you wherever you went, and when you finally caught his eye, he grinned goofily at you and winked before he was distracted by something at his feet.
You couldn't see what it was, but you saw him quickly set his beer down and lean over before standing back up with his youngest cousin, Leyla, in his arms. She was only three years old and you could tell that the long day of playing with her cousins had worn her out. You could see Rafe say something sweetly to her, causing her to smile as he brushed her hair out of her face and she snuggled into his shoulder, wrapping her arms around his neck. He rubbed her back gently before picking up his beer and resuming his conversation, like toting this little girl around and letting her fall asleep on him was the most natural thing in the world.
You could have died on the spot. You could have melted into the floor and washed away with the tide at the sight of the strong, fierce, indefensible Rafe Cameron cradling a little girl in his arms. All you could think to yourself is that you hoped you were looking at a glimpse of your future, on another porch, in another house with the same man snuggling your sweet daughter in his arms. You don't know how long you stood there, drinking in the sight that was tugging at your heart before Rafe's aunt came by, gently taking his sleeping cousin out of his arms. You took that as your cue and made your way over to him.
"Rafe, can I borrow you for a minute?" you asked, trying to tone down the urgency in your voice. He knew you too well, though, his brow furrowing, "Absolutely, beautiful, is everything okay?" he asked, following you as you tugged him by the hand around to the front of the house, away from prying eyes. "Babe, you're worrying me, what's wrong?" he asked again. You took his hands in yours, taking a cautionary glance around to be sure you were alone before passionately pressing your lips to his, your hands coming up to cup his face, your body pressing into his. "Mmpf!" he replied as you caught him off guard, pressing him into the siding of the house. He tossed his beer into the bushes, long forgotten, as he wrapped his arms around you. Your kisses grew more heated as you slipped your tongue into his mouth. He tasted like the IPA he had been drinking and you couldn't get enough as he matched you kiss for kiss, stroke for stroke, before smiling and breaking away briefly enough to say jokingly, "I guess I should leave you with my Aunt Linda more often? Where is this coming from? Not that I'm complaining in the slightest" he said with a smirk.
You began kissing him again, attempting to explain between the crashes of your lips.
"You" kiss "are the sweetest" kiss "most gentle, loving man" kiss "and" kiss "one day" kiss "you are going to be an amazing father."
At that, he pulled away to look at you, a confused look on his face, scanning yours for any hint of a joke. You knew those words held weight for him. He clearly didn't have a good father figure and he was insecure about what that meant for him as a father, for his children, for his future.
"I saw you with Leyla" you explained. "You're a natural, you are such a giver and a lover. You have a heart of pure gold, Rafe Cameron, despite what you want the world to see. You are going to be the best damn father our babies could ever hope for."
"Our babies?" he said smiling. He was grinning ear to ear at that.
Shit. You had let slip the fantasy you had been playing in your head of Rafe as the father of your children. You had both talked casually about getting married, about having a family. You knew you both wanted that at some point, but you had never said anything this serious before.
"Babies, you know, in general --" you tried to walk your words back, afraid at what his reaction would be before he interrupted you.
"Nuh-uh, don't even try that, pretty girl, I heard you loud and clear: our babies," he said, his hands cupping your face. "You want to have my babies?" he was smiling and he let out a small, earnest laugh. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He had dreamt of that future with you, but didn't want to cling to something he thought was too good to be true.
You pursed your lips, trying to hide your smile as you nodded earnestly.
"WOO!" Rafe shouted, the joy of the moment and the realization that you wanted the same thing, that you trusted him, that you believed in him, that you were going to make his dreams come true overwhelming him. You were giggling at his reaction when he hoisted you over his shoulder, firefighter style.
"Rafe!" you shouted, surprised, amidst peals of laughter, "What are you doing!? Where are we going!?"
"Better start practicing" he said, carrying you inside.
#rafe cameron#obx rafe cameron#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#rafe cameron fanfiction#outerbanks rafe#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron x reader#rafe fanfiction#obx fanfiction
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The Saddest Tragedy of 2/2; Damned Regardless of Choice
Wasn't sure if anyone else already talked about this, but after going through the Persona 5 Royal Artbook a while back, and again recently... Something about the whole situation just really struck with me.
Obviously, spoiler warnings ahead for Persona 5 Royal, specifically Third Semester's Februrary 2nd.
So, unsurprisingly, I'm referring to Maruki's Deal.
It's a common interpretation that Akechi's 100% gung-ho against it.
But there's two separate moments that show a rare bit of... Wavering in his resolve.
The first is the Phantom Thieves meeting in Maruki's office with Lavenza:
Out of all of the Phantom Thieves, the only one to play devil's advocate and remind the group that Maruki's actions benefit them too is... Akechi, of all people. Not Joker, not Makoto, not Lavenza or anyone else.
It's solely Akechi who brings that fact up.
In the same meeting, beforehand he was very upfront and crass about how manipulative Maruki was being, and how the man played the other thieves like a fiddle...
And yet he says this in spite of all that.
There was no reason or prompting for him to, and Ryuji even rejects him politely afterwards too.
So surely this was just an off-line of simple pragmatism, right?
Well, here comes moment number 2, in one of the optional Jazz Jin hangouts you can get with him:
He plays it off as some idle food for thought with no deeper meaning, but... It's Akechi. He usually doesn't just say things just to say them.
There's always a hidden meaning to his words.
It's pretty obvious he's referencing his space in the Phantom Thieves, a group that's civil with him but doesn't particularly have any inclination to be friends with him... But it does beg a question...
Is he happy? Now that he's no longer being controlled by Shido, or burdened by a lifelong revenge?
By the sheer existence of this conversation at all, directed only towards Joker and in a place that he's comfortable in (second to Leblanc) it's pretty safe to say he is, but has reservations about it (i.e. 'If their happiness hinges on the group's unhappiness.')
Now where does the artbook come in? Well, inside the P5R artbook, there's a handful of interviews that expand on some parts of the Royal exclusive content.
What was the one bit that stuck with me?
(Thanks to VeskScans on Twitter for the high-quality scans of the artbook: https://x.com/VeskScans)
Per fan-translation:
Creator's Comment: "When I think about how Akechi's wish is to play chess with the protagonist after school, I want to tell him 'You like the protagonist after all, don't you?'"
Akechi's Wish.
He has a wish that Maruki actually does grant him, and it's to essentially be friends with Joker. It's mutual to Joker's own wish to be friends with him.
So add up the context of all three, and it paints a very depressing picture already:
Akechi is genuinely happy for once in his life, but doesn't think he deserves it at the cost of everyone else's. It runs opposite to his own sense of Justice, and his negative views on himself as a "cursed child," and that fuels him to keep denying it.
So with him being split between the two sentiments... It's unsurprising that he would rely heavily on Joker to make the ultimate decision; Whether to accept, or to deny. Because he himself can't, and Maruki knows full well of that.
Sure, he keeps pushing Joker to deny Maruki... But why?
Is it because what Maruki's doing is wrong, and he needs to be stopped? Is it the closest thing to a punishment for all of his actions, which has been constantly denied to him up to this point? Is it the closest thing to a confirmation that he's undeserving of such happiness, especially with how much blood is on his hands?
Who knows.
So how does any of this tie into Maruki's Deal on 2/2? Isn't Rejecting a false reality the obvious choice here?
Well... It's simple.
You're not really picking between a true reality and a false one.
You're picking between:
The acknowledgement of Akechi's growth (Hereward), the righteousness he carries as The Justice arcana, and his freedom from being under someone else's control his whole life.
And this:
Think about it. Maruki gives you multiple opportunities to accept his reality, and they become increasingly personal to Joker with each one.
First is the happiness of the general public.
Second it's the happiness of the other Phantom Thieves, especially Sumire.
Then finally, it's the happiness of both Joker and Akechi.
If the first two couldn't sway Joker's decision, why would the third?
Because you want Akechi to be happy and no longer suffering. You're the one in control of making that decision as the player, remember?
And both he and Joker are also fully aware of that, given how they look back at you in the "Accept" ending.
Not to mention in spite of how he reverts back to his "Detective Prince" mannerisms, almost as if he was a different person entirely... We never actually get any indication that he goes off to fight Maruki alone, or try to fix everything himself, do we?
Sure, he says "... Well. I have your answer. There's nothing left I can say. Our deal's off."
But what can he say? Once again, you've exceeded his expectations.
And once again, he's left as speechless as his "you really are..." moments.
You chose him over a "true reality." You told him to his face that he matters, you accept him as he is in spite of everything he's done, and you want to keep spending time with him as equals. As friends.
There's no anger, betrayal, shock, or even hurt in his voice. Just quiet acceptance because after all they've gone through together, he knows Joker wouldn't lie about that.
It's a truth he has to accept, even if it conflicts with his image of himself. He's wanted by someone else, for the first time in his life.
Of course he has no need for a deal anymore. They were always the closest things he was willing to get to a friendship, without establishing a close tie that could potentially hurt him in the end.
Why would he need one when you chose your bond over all else?
You proved to his face that it's not just some temporary truce with mutual benefits. It's a genuine bond for both parties, not just to him.
... It's just a shame that something you've done with him up to this point with genuine intent has been perversed into a means to sway both boys and you into compliance.
Ultimately though... You're the one stuck between two choices for him:
Forsake Akechi's happiness, and finally being wanted for who he is and not whatever pleasant image or service he can provide.
Forsake his freedom, and all the growth and accountability he's accumulated thus far from his own sins.
This teenage boy is damned regardless of the decision you make. All because a man with a Jehova complex noticed that he matters to Joker (and by extension you as the player), and uses him as an ultimatum to get Joker (and you) to comply.
All because said man is well-aware that Akechi's actual fate is vague. Did he live? Did he die? Who knows, neither he or Akechi actually confirm it. They just dance around the subject and leave the assumption up to you. But he'll take full advantage of the vagueness to justify his actions to you, and show why his goals and yours are "truly in alignment."
And the worst part is that Maruki's doing this with a genuine intent to make his life happier afterwards, much like youself. It's not out of malice, or a sick sense of delight, or with the airs of playing god.
He's distorted. He's a man with good intentions that have become so distorted that he inadvertently perverses the very desire to do good for the world.
And just like Shido, and Yaldaboath, before him...
Akechi's the number one casualty.
You're just forced to decide which part of him the gun is aimed at this time.
Because this boy can't have both. It's one or the other.
#persona 5#p5#p5r#persona#persona 5 royal#goro akechi#p5 joker#akira kurusu#ren amamiya#takuto maruki#rambles#Moni Rambles#ramblings#character analysis#angst#gaming#video games
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SO I'VE JUST WATCHED THIS AND I AM GOING TO GIVE MY THOUGHTS ABOUT EVERY LITTLE THING
First of all, here's the synopsis.
We got a lot of details here !! Tube's Tube. I don't really understand why, but it sounds funny. 12M viens and 12,000,000 likes. Why 12 ? Is it a hint towards à 12th game ? There are currently 11 Ace Attorney games. This vidéo recaps pretty much everything (except the prof Layton crossover...), so it MIGHT point towards a new game :). On the right of "Likes" and "Share" there is "DL|6" :). We cannot see how many subscribers Nick has, but since the video has lots of likes, I think it's safe to assume that he has a good amount of subscribers and that he is possibly a youtuber (in this version of the AA universe at least). On the right we can see 3 other videos : MUST WATCH - Top 3 Bedtime Picture Books by Laurice Deauxnim-Scented Adventures with 3.8K views uploaded 2 weeks ago. We don't know when Nick's video was uploaded (most likely more recently than two weeks) but maybe Larry is a more successful youtuber than Nick ?? Also, I'm pretty sure that Franzy's Whippity-Whip Trip is in this video :). Then we have Her Benevolence dances the Panic Dance by Kingdom of Kura'in Embassy with 3.15M likes and uploaded 1 (idk) ago. Idk who this character is so uh, idk what to say. But "Panic Dance" sounds fun heh. Then we have No Objections Judge's gourmet courthouse specials by His Honor Eats with 2 views uploaded 21 years ago. Poor old Judge :(. Also, Capcom is plastered everywhere. I mean, this video is part of marketing so of course.
Now, let's move on to the actual content of the video !
You. That's you, Phoenix
Wording, Phoenix. Wording.
So Klavier can canonically produce guitar sounds out of thin air ?? I thought it was extradiegetic. Well I guess that's handful when he has to do a concert but forgot his guitar, heh !
This is peak comedy right there. Man I love Ace Attorney.
ACE ATTORNEY AND GHOST TRICK CROSSOVER WHEN ??? (Still gotta play Ghost Trick and finish AA lmao)
This image is cool.
Oh, Nick, honey... that's the kind of reference that I like heheh
I WOULD LIKE TO DISAGREE. ALTHOUGH YOU *COULD* START AT THE APOLLO JUSTICE TRILOGY (I'vo only played the first of this trilogy) WITHOUT BEING TOO LOST, YOU WOULD MISS A LOT OF CHATACTER DEVELOPMENT AND WOULD NOT QUITE UNDERSTAND HOW THE CHATACTERS GOT THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE.
YES PLEASE MILES TELL US ABOUT THE STEEL SAMURAI <3 <3 <3
ALSO ! Turns out that ERIC VALE did Phoenix's voice. ERIC VALE the anime voice actor !!! Thatcis so cool. I didn't recongize Edgeworth's VA (cuz i've only watched the first anime episode + the bloopers) so... idk do your own research I don't care that much honestly. How about the "Objection!" Voiceline actors tho. Who are they. They're the closest to their official voice actors.
Anyways, tl;dr : this is a recap of all of Ace Attorney (minus the Layton crossover) + Ghost Trick. There is the number 12 at the beginning and Ghost Trick is mentionned, so my theory is that they're planning a 12th game which is a Ghost Trick crossover :)
#nethal chats#nethal plays#ace attorney#ace attorney tv#that's wright ace attorney tv#that's wright! ace attorney tv#aatv#miles edgeworth#phoenix wright#aa trilogy#aj trilogy#aa aj#aa aj trilogy#tgaa#aai2#aai collection#ace attorney investigations#apollo justice#prosecutor godot#the great ace attorney#larry butz#laurice deauxnim#ace attorney judge#barok van zieks#ghost trick#ghost trick phantom detective#steel samurai#klavier gavin#eric vale
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