#I'm sure someone will do a much more detailed analysis of all the weirdness

[crowns-of-violets-and-roses]

One of the many oddities in this year Hugo nominations is how many works have low point totals compared to their number of nominations.

For those not familiar with the Hugo nominations the basics are that "First, the total number of nominations (the number of ballots on which each nominee appears) from all eligible ballots shall be tallied for each remaining nominee. Next, a single “point” shall be assigned to each nomination ballot. That point shall be divided equally among all remaining nominees on that ballot. Finally, all points from all nomination ballots shall be totaled for each nominee in that category."

Nominees are then eliminated and points reassigned until the finalists are determined. While I haven't seen anything mathematically impossible there has been a lot of discussion of works points total being unusually low compared to nominations.

One interesting example is the fancast Worldbuilding for Masochists which has been nominated for three years running. In 2021 it had 34 nominations and 26.83 points on the final round or 0.789 votes per nomination.

In 2022 it had 42 nominations and 30.87 points on the final round or 0.735 points per nomination.

This year in 2023 it had 56 nominations and 11.30 points an average of 0.2017 points per nomination. The theoretical minimum number of points it could have gotten was 11.20 (56*0.2).

This is some quick math below so feel free to correct me if I've gotten anything wrong.

If 55 people voted for Worldbuilding for Masochists and had all 4 or there nominees in the final round and a single person only voted for Worldbuilding for Masochists it would have gotten more points than that.

If 54 people voted for it and had 4 other of their nominees still in the last round and 2 voted for it and had 3 of their other nominees in the last round it would have the 11.30 points shown ((54 * 0.2)+(20 * 0.25)).

I think at most two voters could have voted for Worldbuilding for Masochists and not had 4 other of there nominees still in the final round.

I know I have some Hugo voters following me and I'm sure there's more on tumblr. I'm curious if any of you nominated Worldbuilding for Masochists and didn't nominate four of the five below works:

Hugos There

Octothorpe

Hugo Girl

Coode Street Podcast

Kalanadi

FANAC Fan History Videos

[butterflieswhisper]

hiiii ^^ beastlife fishie analysis. spoilers ahead. etc etc

okay so. the main point of this is simple. I don't think the salmon head cursed c!fishie. Explaining that is the harder part I think. also i'm going to refer to the salmon head thing in e5 as "the incident" from here on out because frankly i think it's funny

Let's start with the incident. The big day. etc. What happened? Why did it happen? Obligatory third questioning statement? Well. She was gifted the salmon head for her birthday by kiwi(or like. someone in the kiwibird system. -bird system. the birds). Immediately upon receiving it she relives parts of season one and fishie herself doesn't really acknowledge it. The other players definitely notice but im not caught up enough in any other pov yet to like have thoughts on that I'll come back to that point someday. Fishie seems shaken, sure, but she moves on so quickly, especially considering what happened just there. 37 seconds of standing frozen, unresponsive. she recovers in 5 seconds. And seeing how she reacts later on to realizing the memory situation--if she was aware that happened, she would probably be concerned by it. She puts it on for a brief second at the end of the party and takes it off immediately. She's otherwise normal -- well. as normal as she is otherwise up to that point. Because that is also how she acts with pretty much any salmon head, even just kiwi herself.

I raise: Episode one, about 8:20 in. The slow zoom on kiwi as the static overtakes every other noise. This is the *exact* same behavior displayed when fishie receives the salmon head, albeit without actual concrete old video footage style flashbacks. In episode two (28:55ish) the same thing happens when she looks at the salmon head in moch's house, but this time there is technically a flashback -- kiwis grave. Fishie moves on immediately and doesn't acknowledge her behavior at all, and, seeing as it is fishie, im inclined to believe that means she does not know she is doing it. Fishie (when alone) will discuss all of her problems in immense, and usually misguided detail (bestie i promise kiwi doesn't hate you???) to the audience and/or herself. I mean she's not alone in episode one, and it is technically presession, and i guess getting struck by lightning is a decent distraction from your problems, but in episode two? She is completely alone. There is nobody with her. She went looking for moch and moch is not there. She still doesn't acknowledge the fiveish seconds she is completely frozen. This happens again and again with kiwi and salmon heads.

And then that leads you to e5. The incident. She's. well. she's doing worse. 0:50. "This will distract me if i leave it up." This is the first mention from fishie herself about how fucking weird she's being, and even then she doesn't seem concerned. I think she does not realize she's being so so incredibly weird about it. If the static and freezing is what's referred to as "distraction" then keeping it in her inventory makes it worse actually so it wouldn't really make sense unless the way it is distracting her is NOT the. well. whatever the fuck is wrong with her (affectionate). After she puts the head on there's the static all the time but for a short brief amount of time she's like significantly more normal and i don't really know if that means anything i just think it's really funny.

And then we all know what goes on during the incident i'm not analyzing this video frame by frame. um. i could. but i am not going to right now. And then she has the conversation on the table with kiwi where she like is normal for 5 minutes. Like genuinely the most. i guess stable? fishie's thought process is is like in the moments directly after the incident. She is immediately understanding with the antikiwi situation, they come to an agreement that they're like. okay now. "thank you for everything and im so sorry i couldnt do more" / "it was short, but it was nice" "i knew what i was getting into when i married you" etc etc and then they kind of rush it at the end because people won't stop dying. But then fishie is fishie and takes it in the complete opposite extreme (from. um. whatever was wrong up until now. to "oh kiwibird must secretly hate me because" and then there's no real good reason she's just like that) and it's also an issue. And i think the season two memory thing is also a part of that but this is so long already and so i'm not going to get into it rn. So bringing all of this back to my original point: the salmon head was not the cause of the curse(?) because she's been so weird all the time forever and the salmon head thing was just like. an effect. of whatever went Wrong(tm) in the season transition. like the head was a vessel to Be Worse about it but i feel like it would have worked with any salmon head she got her hands on and that it happened to be kiwico was a coincidence and also that the head wasn't cursed at all there's just something deeply wrong with fishie s3 in general and uh yeah 👍

I'm so sorry this is so disjointed i had a thesis statement and everything. alas

[katy-l-wood]

Are you willing to share your thoughts on the TV show Yellowjackets? I was into it for a bit, but haven't kept up and I love analysis, especially critical kinds because they're often the most interesting and I feel with your experiences you'll have some really cool angles on it. No pressure to answer if you'd rather not!

Sure! But with the caveat that I've only seen season 1, and it has been awhile. Also, I'm going to stick this under my "Disasters in Film" tag because, well, it's on theme even if we haven't specifically discussed Yellowjackets in class.

Now then!

I love the core concept of Yellowjackets. Girls' sports team has their plane crash in the woods and no one comes to get them, and it all goes sideways and falls into the horror genre more than just pure survival? A+ concept right there.

But I don't think a single writer on that show has ever been outside a single day in their lives.

It's just a suspension of disbelief issue for me. You've only got so many SoD points you can spend when you create something, and Yellowjackets is deep into the red. Hollywood has made it pretty easy to SoD things like everyone turning on one another, random murder, people being vicious to one another, etc. etc. even though studies have proven over and over and over again that people really don't behave like that in disasters. But you've still gotta spend some points on those things anyways, because deep down people DO know they're lies even if Hollywood likes to use them all the time.

So your core premise has already cost you some SoD points, but that's fine! You still have some to spend. But that number isn't infinite, and the more outlandish your details, the more points you're going to have to spend to pull them off. Yellowjackets just spent way too many. (A wolf ripping someone's face off and she's fine with zero actual medical care? Really?)

Now part of this, too, is the structure of Yellowjackets. It is a story told by jumping between timelines/flashbacks. It plays keep away with its audience. That is a structure you have to be VERY careful with or your audience is going to get annoyed with you and tune out. It can work when done right, but if you try and do it when you've already overspent your SoD points? You're gonna run into trouble. Plus, if you don't have a strong, solid plan for the whole timeline of your show across multiple seasons--a plan you will not change--it can fall apart in a heartbeat. It is not a structure that works for open ended projects of an unknown length.

A girls' sports team having their plane crash in the wilderness and getting stuck there IS conceivable--it's literally happened in real life with that soccer team. The girls struggling to survive and some of them dying IS conceivable--again, it has happened in real life. The girls growing up into adults that struggle with the aftereffects of that crash IS conceivable. The girls starting a weird little cult is starting to tread into the realm of "eh, maybe, but it does make for a great story so it's fine." Same for them finding a very helpful little cabin full of stuff. Could happen, but less likely. Then you get into the "wait, I don't think that would EVER happen?" stuff. Would a bear really just walk up, roar at you, and then you kill it with basically no real weapon? (Do you know how hard bears are to kill? Their skin is WEIRD.) Wolves ripping people's faces off. A convenient plane that later explodes.

At the end of the day, I think the show tried to do too much in too short of an amount of time to build up the believablity for the more outlandish things, and I think it's structure--and the fact that it doesn't seem to have a solid plan all the way through for its story--just made those things worse.

Now, not all of that is the show's fault! The way TV works these days--with shorter seasons and precarious chances of renewal--played a big role. I think Yellowjackets could've been a great 3 season show with each season getting 20-22 episodes. There would've been a lot more breathing room for the character arcs, especially given how many characters there are (and some of them are doubled given they survive to grow up and be adults). I think it also could've been helped a lot if they had some outdoors/survival consultants involved. The more realistic they made the survival elements, the more they could've gotten away with the weird horror elements because they wouldn't have wasted so many SoD points on things they didn't need to waste them on. Having a more realistic wolf attack (or, even better, a cougar attack) would not have changed the overall story. Having a more realistic struggle to find food would not have changed the overall story. Having a more realistic changing of the seasons would not have changed the overall story. Etc. Etc. Etc.

So yeah. Those are my thoughts on Yellowjackets! Coulda been great, but it got kneecapped in about five different ways.

[pinksmonkey]

In regards to why I think is byler endgame it’s more like… I went into season 4 without shipping them. Like at the most I suspected Will was gay but that was it. But then they quickly introduced Will liking someone and I immediately caught on it was Mike. They spent so much energy making me aware of Will’s pining stares but it’s the airport scene with the awkward hug that was a red flag. It didn’t make sense that they wouldn’t both be happy to see each other and be weird about it. But Will wasn’t the one being weird, it was Mike!!! Then their second fight was also a flag (at least after ending the previous season on better terms, what was the reason to create that drama again?) and then… the bedroom heart to heart where Mike says his hometown is not the same without Will. The scene read as romantic to me… like there was something more going on on Mike’s end (because I already knew Will had a thing for Mike from earlier scenes) and then the van scene was just plain heartbreaking to watch, like how can they make this kid so in love with a character, the depth alone!!! He was willing to sacrifice his own feelings for Mike to make sure Mike felt loved and needed. Like who writes that just to keep it unrequited as if they aren’t building up to the beautiful 5 season slow burn payoff?? I think people refuse to rewatch the show with season 4 in mind and look at all their previous interactions. Like the shed scene was beautifully shot and Mike’s monologue was so heartfelt and was the first thing that really got through to Will. And just so many little things seem like they were trying to tell this story all along but I think the existence of Mike’s relationship with El keeps people from seeing the story go a different direction than they expect. And too many feel it’s impossible for them to split this so-called iconic pairing up late in the show, but TV shows do that all the time so I’m not sure why it couldn’t still happen. But all this is to say, that I walked away from season 4 feeling like Will and Mike were more than just friends and that it’s hard to not see the love they have for each other. I’ll die on this hill even if they aren’t canon. People who deny what they mean to each other are not watching the same show as me.

So well said, thank you so much! Yes, this is exactly my thoughts too! :D

Like why couldn't Mike hug Will at the airport??? XD

I'm planning on showing my friend some Gayer Things videos on YouTube about Byler as well as other analysis videos, because they really go so in-depth and into the intricate details of Mike and Will's queercoding as well as hints/symbolism of them ending up together.

So thank you again, this is a great explanation and I agree Mike was acting so not straight in all the seasons, but especially season 4.

[valkyurii]

Thanks a lot for providing these details. Something to ponder over.

I've always assumed Marais and Malenia met cause I saw the Castle as her territory and thought the Cleanrots were there before the war. But I suppose them meeting isn't exactly an absolute thing stated by the items, as you've said. How did he get that super-accurate painting of her though? Did she not pose for it, or do they do portraits via other means in this game?

I had a slightly different interpretation of "personal goddess", so I went to search it up. Apparently, personal god/goddess is an actual concept/term? From Wiki, "A personal god, or personal goddess, is a deity who can be related to as a person instead of as an impersonal force, such as the Absolute." I don't know if you've heard of this, but I have not so I'm just sharing it here. Of course, even if this were the game's intended meaning, it doesn't make Marais any less creepy.

Sorry for the late reply, anon.

I’m not entirely sure how he came to acquire the portrait of Malenia, but to be honest I can’t really imagine her sitting and posing for him or someone else to paint her. I can’t imagine she would go out of her way to entertain someone just because they worship her. Godrick for example has a portrait of Godfrey in his castle which he probably bought (or stole) from the capital, but Godfrey didn’t necessarily give it to him or pose for it. Also bare in mind this guy seems to worship the rot and we know that Malenia doesn’t take too kindly to rot worshippers. I say all this because I’m not entirely sure what it is he does for her or the Haligtree for that matter. Aside from the possibility of him allowing Malenia and her army to station themselves there for a short while as they traveled through the continent, he doesn’t seem to really provide them with much else. If his family, for example, were smiths and they crafted armor and weapons for the cleanrots then I could understand Miquella and Malenia wanting to keep him on side and possibly send him gifts such as the portrait and the prosthesis in exchange for his service. But as far as I’m aware he’s just this guy who worships her and the rot and that’s kind of it. Now unless his family are super rich and maybe they provide financial support to the Haligtree? I mean who knows. Sorry if this sounds like I’m being a bit too harsh in my analysis of him, it’s just his whole setup to me looks like some kind of weird parasocial relationship and nothing more.

That’s actually interesting about the personal god/goddess meaning and I hadn’t heard of that definition before. That actually makes sense as he seems to be relating to Malenia on a more personal level in regards to them both being born sick. To be honest I can understand why he would admire her for this, only he goes about it in the weirdest way possible and then ends up losing his castle over it. Though to be fair to the guy he could be a lot worse. He could be Seluvis 😬

[the-pirate-captain]

This has been bugging me for a while now, so:

About a month ago, I started working with a new employee. I work in a lab and my main analysis that I run is a two-person job, so I work with this guy between three to four days every week. The other day (or two) I run a different test, but I'm currently working with another analyst so she can take over that test once I leave (I'm getting married and moving soon). Anyway. A week or so after new employee starts, I'm running my secondary test with the other analyst, and the lady in charge of lab safety comes over to check the gas tanks or something. Safety lady is probably late-forties; I know she has teenage kids and maybe one in college. She starts talking to the other analyst, who is a few years older than I am, and also engaged. I don't particularly pry into other people's personal details, but she's volunteered that she and her fiance are living together and don't have a wedding date set but "maybe two or three years from now." Anyway. Safety lady then addresses me and says, "You're working with the new hire, huh? How's he doing?"

"Oh," I say, "He's been great! He's learning fast, and in a few more weeks he'll be up to speed."

"Oh nice," says safety lady. "Plus he's cute, riiiiiight?"

So let's see. What I'm thinking is, that's a weird thing for a middle aged woman to say about a younger employee who's probably younger than her own kids. I'm thinking, I really don't have a particular opinion one way or the other about his appearance. To be honest if I saw him outside the context of work I don't think I'd recognize him. I'm thinking, gosh you know I love my fiance so much and he's the handsomest guy in the world and I don't really care what anyone else looks like anyway. I'm thinking, I really don't want to say anything about my new coworker's looks at all. What am I supposed to say? "No I think he's ugly." Hmmmm maybe not. I'm thinking all this, and what I say outloud is,

"I'm getting married."

To which safety lady and other analyst respond with *concerning* conviction, "Oh but that doesn't mean you can't think he's cute!" and "Well sure you can't touch but you can still look!"

"Yeah," continues the younger woman, "you're getting married but that doesn't mean you're dead. You still have eyes. That's what I say to my fiance. You still notice when someone else is attractive."

And that. Really. REALLY. Bugged me.

I did not say anything else. Safety lady and other analyst moved on and the day continued and I never said anything else to them about it.

But what I SHOULD have said was,

Actually, marriage *is* a living death. It's a death to self. It's sacrificing my life so my spouse and I can find new life in Christ. So don't try to cajole me into objectifying another person just because you don't understand that marriage is a sacred covenant. I may not have said the vows yet but I fully intend to, and to say them with my whole heart, and what God has joined together no man shall put asunder.

Anyway.

[cboffshore]

hiiii, how are you? How was your summer? I really adore Delara because I feel Like she could have been interesing as a character, that Being Said could you give us a little spoiler and tell us what your Delara is going to be like? However, if you want it to be a secret thats cool as well. Take care! 💕

I'm doing very well, thank you! My summer's been a little weird, but overall pretty nice. Thanks for asking! Hope yours has been great too :)

As for how I'm planning on working with Delara... I do have some plans. They might be a little disappointing if you're hoping for a deep dive, but I promise I have my reasons. Under the cut we go! (Witness semi spoilers and very mild OSSAS spoilers, obvs. No huge plot points listed. Not to shill for my own fic, but if you're reading this and you're not caught up on the series, now's a GREAT TIME.)

Delara is a tricky character for me, simply because I have so little of her to work from. I'd have to go in with a stopwatch to be really sure, but I'm fairly positive characters spend more time talking about Delara than she actually spends on screen - not to mention, we never see her in the actual flesh. What we do get in canon puts her on a mysterious pedestal, and one consistent thing jumps out at me: Nadakhan's number one cheerleader. (I firmly believe, for reasons I can't articulate right now, that nothing he ever says about her is a lie. He doesn't seem the type to lie about something or someone that wholly benefits and supports him.) Naturally, that puts Nya in direct, almost reflexive opposition to whatever Delara wants to do, which will have some... interesting consequences for how Nadakhan views her now. That's character analysis spoiler territory, though, so I'd better move on. She's a rabid purse dog. She's a green light across the bay.

Anyway: I'm running with that shallow portrayal, at least this early in the process. It's subject to change. I've seen attempts at fleshing Delara out go both ways (extremely good, as in the incomparable fic Dilara, and extremely bad, as in multiple fics I will not name out of politeness that try VERY HARD to give her depth and don't do all that great a job because there's too much else happening), so I'm not too confident in trying anything but just... letting her be herself. OSSAS is, above all else, an attempt at somewhat strict canon expansion; I don't want to wrangle her into something she's not for the sake of gratuitous detail. So: I'll let her be herself, and I'll see how that mingles with what I have planned for Nya and Nadakhan, and see what happens from there.

Thanks for the ask!!

[lorbanery]

It's so frustrating listening to/reading really good film analysis that put so much emphasis on the choices the director/screenwriter(s) make ... that don't even bother discussing the choices made adapting the story from its source material.

Why is the the director's choice of how the shots are framed more important than their choice of, say, killing off a character who survives in the source material?

Certainly some things are changed or cut for practical reasons (time, budget, choice of actors, etc). But when you're talking about someone like, for example, Stanley Kubrick, and emphasizing, like so much of the discussion of his career and analysis of his filmography does, how much of a control freak his was, that he would specify things right down to which nostril on which actor he wanted the camera's crosshairs centered on? Surely the same attention to detail would apply to the decisions he made in cutting and changing things from the source material???

If I'm expected to believe that there was conscious intention behind Jack Torrance's interview happening in an office with a window when the layout of the building supposedly wouldn't allow for that; then I must also believe that there was some conscious intention behind turning Wendy Torrance into a wilting flower who can barely even protect her own son against her abusive husband in the face of very obvious partially premeditated violence.

If I'm expected to believe that the pantry set having shelves of products with Native American-based logos on them was a deliberate choice meant to convey something to the audience; then I must also believe that having Jack chase Wendy and Danny into the snow and just freezing to death instead of following the narrative of Jack's choices being the important things driving the plot and having Jack's final choice as Jack being what ultimately ends the story by destroying the Overlook, was a deliberate choice.

It's weird to analyze bits of dialogue that only sort of make sense in the context of the film without acknowledging that they're pulled from a storyline from the source material that was cut from the film.

It's weird to analyze confusing vignettes and, thus, misidentify pieces of them and base your analysis on that, when you could have just opened the source material for a better description.

It's weird to put so much emphasis on the director/screenwriter(s)' storytelling choices but just ignoring when those choices have to do with the source material.

For that matter, it's weird to attribute symbolic meaning to the director/screenwriter(s) without seemingly even caring whether or not that symbolism already existed in the source material.

Like, it would be one thing to talk about how the elements are filmed, how the shots are framed, how the characters are costumed, how the sets are dressed, the pacing of the individual sequence as well as the sequence in relation to the scenes around it, etc. It would be one thing to talk about the choice to include that sequence versus cutting other sequences.

But just taking the fact that the elements exist in the overall story and attributing that to the filmmakers is weird. If all you're talking about is, for example, a character stumbling across a particular vignette, then why are you attributing that sequence to the filmmakers when that sequence already existed in the source material?

It's weird to just ignore the actual adaptation part of the filmmaking process when you're analyzing an adaptation. It's weird to just act like there was no source material involved, that there was not a whole other person and publishing team who did all the hard work of writing and editing a cohesive story that was successful and popular in its own right.

Like, I don't blame Stephen King at all for basically holding a fifty year long grudge against Kubrick. I'd be salty too if I wrote a massively successful novel that then got all but erased from the collective consciousness by the movie adaptation and basically everything analysts and reviewers praised as great storytelling and meaningful symbology for the next half a century were almost entirely elements directly adapted mostly unchanged from my novel, but were entirely attributed to the filmmaker.

[rararazaquato]

that pnf poll you reblogged the other day…i haven’t watched the show in YEARS but i’ve been relistening to a couple of songs and i’ve forgotten how much they slap

(tying this to srmthg, “i’m me” is such a nova-coded song. also hot take krinkle is basically doofenshmirtz if he went off the deep end)

the songs are SO GOOD ikr???

i also think doof and krinkle are pretty emblematic of the theses of their two shows. weird ass essay infodump-type shit incoming.

krinkle comes from a background of cruelty. implied child neglect from his mom to the point where he had to build a new one. a dead end job where he can be fired on a whim by a boss who doesn't care.

for reasons that stem from, but are not directly caused by, krinkle's trauma, he is a horrific person. i've mentioned how krinkle is supposed to be a lesson in stranger danger to the little kids watching the show, but krinkle's behavior towards chiro is EERILY similar to how actual, real-world groomers interact with their victims. like, to the point where the more i think about it, the more justified i feel in thinking the team was in the right to effectively kill him on ranger 7. i could honestly write a whole other infodump post about how well krinkle works as an analogue to actual real-world abusers, but this was a funny silly post and i'm not going to go into that sort of detail on someone else's ask.

the reason i say all of this stuff about how horrible of a person krinkle is, is srmthfg is a show about the fundamental battle of good versus evil. chiro attempts to placate krinkle at first, being polite yet firm with the grown adult who could very easily be trying to hurt him. yet when krinkle actively causes chiro physical harm, the only thing to really do is fight back any way you can; because sometimes, against true evil, violence is the only answer.

phineas and ferb is a different show, though. there aren't any real villains, outside of i guess second dimension doofenshmirtz. every other bad guy is either shown to have redeemable qualities or is so benign that they don't even matter. doof's parents are horrible people, but they've stayed away from him in the show proper. monogram's kind of an asshole to his employees, but he's ultimately fighting on the side of good.

and doofenshmirtz? he's evil, sure, but that's a very petty sort of evil. hardly ever does he have a plan that will cause serious physical harm to anyone. he has a moral code. thematically relevant to this analysis, he is normal around children (and is a wonderful father to boot).

krinkle and doof both come from tragic pasts and work on evil science and engineering experiments in their free time. their differences come from the attitudes of their universes. krinkle is from a universe where evil can and does exist, and if it comes for you or your loved ones, sometimes you have to do anything it takes to stop it. doof is from a universe where true evil does not exist at all.

[cathumanwarriors]

A Brief Introduction

Hello. A week ago I made a poll regarding whether or not to contain (this usage of the word is warranted) my human au to another blog, or keep them on my main blog. I got a staggering...1 vote. Not very conclusive, unfortunately. (Thank you to the person who voted ;_;)

But upon further thinking I realized two things: 1, that I can decide my own curated experience on tumblr, and have the power to make that a reality. And 2, that I'm using tumblr wrong. This is a haven for all sorts of weird and out there special interests. Creating a dedicated blog solely to the ramblings of an autistic person is what our internet brethren of the ye olde internet fought for.

So allow me to detail exactly what I would use this blog for, and what it's about.

Also: The blog's background is from 2018, back when DreamSelfy still existed. I used to spend hours making little human cats with different themes and even stories attached. My mindsetback then was that everyone was at a different "photo shoot" or "movie shoot" with different themes. It's a good indication I've been a little obsessed with humanization for a good while now.

What Does This Blog Entail?

This is a blog to detail and write down my thoughts about a project I've had for warrior cats since at least 2018. It focuses on reimagining the characters in a humanized setting as well as the story and plot beats. I am doing this to every character (and I mean *every* character) where I collect and organize information regarding them. You could see it as a huge data collection project, with the primary interest being research and analysis.

Another component is worldbuilding. My thought process usually starts with an end goal in mind, and I slowly piece together that idea or concept until the entire puzzle is revealed. Or, I start with a concept, and build and build that concept up as new information is presented to me.

What is the Goal of the AU?

First and foremost, it is to present an interesting story. Warriors is a series with so many good ideas, they're just not often executed well. A humanized setting appeals to me because there is so much real-world culture, traditions, and societies to build from. Another thing is that I see this AU as a chance to play a very advanced version of "dress up". I played with barbies as a child, was there when tek tek avatar was a thing, frequented online dress up games and things have only become more sophisticated since then. So a maturation of this is being given ultimate control over a setting, much like playing Legos or Minecraft, and "building" your world. That's the appeal of humanizing characters.

So, I could say my main goal is to "create a universe that was made by me and improve upon the already existing story."

How Realistic is this AU?

It's both realistic, and not. For one, people do not live to 140 in the real world and travel worldwide did not start in the 900s. At the same time, I'm not going to make up a culture for an existing group of people and I'm going to put the work in to make sure these different groups are treated with respect and dignity. Sure, Windstar can be from China living in England in the 900s, but she's going to have a valid, accurate name and I'm going to research the time period she lived in.

How do the Clans Work in this AU?

The Clans are essentially a minor religion. The idea is that their introduction into the world has massively shifted the trajectory of the future and how the world operates. For example, the introduction of the Clans also introduced different "pockets" of different groups and ethnicities, who often would stick to one Clan for practicality. If someone spoke French only and wanted to join a Clan, it would be most logical to join RiverClan, who have many French people who could communicate with that person. And there are so many French people in RiverClan because many descended from the Gaulish and Frankish peoples have ancestral connections to the Clans. I think this world would be more bilingual as a necessity for communication, with more knowing a second or third language for practicality.

I think over history the Clan's beliefs and practices would shift according to the cultures and regions they are descended from, such as RiverClan characters with Italian ancestry having Roman Catholic traditions ingrained in their pagan beliefs, such as belief that baptism by water is needed to prevent a baby's soul from fading into the earth and being lost, mixing these pagan and Catholic practices together. The Founders themselves are considered ancestral deities with many parallels to paganism such as Thunderstar and Shadowstar being the symbolic story of the Oak King (Thunder) and Holly King (Shadow).

Or originally there being common intermingling and marriage between Clans as a means of trade and alliances, but this being reduced to almost nothing after the black plague. Or the code not being the same as DotC or CotC but another thing mixing folklore with real events.

I could go on infinitely. There is a massive appeal to me of looking at the society of the times and seeing how this new religion/group of people shake up the status quo.

What will you NOT Include in this AU? Does the AU Talk About Adult Topics?

I consider this AU adult in that it does not shy away from mature topics such abuse, racism, genocide, violence and war. However, I'm not going to post explicit content like sexual content or content that glorifies violence. I do not like to focus on the suffering of characters, instead focusing on them in spite of suffering. If Hailstar, who was born to two former plantation slaves from the Caribbean is born in the middle of the Atlantic slave trade, I do not want to make his story a spectacle to be looked at. Instead, I would want to focus on him as a person, his strengths, his weaknesses, his hopes and dreams and all he's accomplished in spite of the racism he's inevitably experienced. Under his rule RiverClan changed their name from "Sect of the Sea" to the "Sect of Waters", for RiverClan would welcome all across the world who sailed the seas. That's a major achievement, and should be celebrated.

Each character has their own unique world with them as its center, and are much more than a figure in the background.

But things like "which TNP character has the biggest boobs" are not going to happen and the answer is Brambleclaw.

Do You Take Suggestions?

I do, and I encourage people to share their own experiences. It's it inevitable I'm going to get something in this wrong because I cannot be the embodiment of every culture known to man. So if I do get something wrong, feel free to let me know. If you have any questions or thoughts or ideas, feel free to let me know.

So to kick this off, here's a poll.

[enderspawn]

theres this fic idea i’ve been thinking of for a long while now (honestly i've had this specific post drafted since may of this year, so maybe since january or so) and want to eventually write one day, but if im being honesty with myself i'm not sure if i ever will, so im at least putting it out there now.

its a chip analysis piece (likely in some kind of 5+1 format, primarily from jay’s POV) specifically between chip and his relationship with food. the simple fact he’s always been this scrawny malnourished street kid when growing up outside of the black rose means a lot to me, and it would likely cause a lot of habits or behaviors the others wouldnt have or possibly even understand to begin with which would be a fun thing to explore and how it can reveal more abt him.

scenes/topics that would be Covered will be under cut

1 ---

the first thing that immediately comes to mind is an analysis and expansion upon his canon interactions with food in canon, such as the bag of chip’s jay gives him on loffinlot or the cinnamon roll incident

for one, the fact that jay carries snacks at all is kind of indicative and would likely be the focus. use jay's pov to explain how she’s learned to bring snacks on adventures since teaming with chip (likely with comments being somewhat snide or huffy about it, or comparing him to a child demanding/needing a snack, since they are still kind of strangers and she doesn’t know much about chip).

(if desired, it could also expand on how he fuckin’ made that small bag of chips last so long. yes the true answer is “because it was funny” but like… rationing behavior? jay might make an absent note of it (due to her observant feat), but wouldn’t likely extrapolate further at the time. also may be cut entirely for messing with story flow too much to include as a detail.)

the cinnamon roll scene is… listen he literally tried to share food with someone and broke down crying doing so because he loves them and wants to share that. obvious example of using food as a language for love and appreciation (which, again, takes on another level when you remember he comes from a food-scarce background). like thats just a thing that happened i don’t care if it was a goof that’s just canon. bite me. 

2 ---

observation of chip having "weird" behaviors with food. these include having a seemingly massive appetite and being sure to always clean his plate (you don’t turn down access to food and you take what you can in case you can’t do it again soon.) 

but also: as part of chip kind of projecting onto ollie, he’s always trying to pawn more food onto ollie’s plate. sometimes it’s as subtle as saying he’s “not hungry anymore” and scrapping whats left to ollie (which would catch jay’s eye because previously he’s always finished his plate even when full and clues her in) to as obvious as literally giving him more and saying he needs to eat more.

both the above points would be stuff jay would 1. spot and 2. actually take note of/care about, around after desire island or so. 

3 ---

immediately after leaving allport, i think seeing reuben would bring back a bunch of chip's old habits and cause him to backslide a bit. after all, even if they were a “family”, they were also still a gang of street rats. on instinct, he would end up showing a lot of food guarding habits (being overly protective of people taking it, hiding food in a stash, etc). he likely also had these habits for a while after joining with jay and gillion, but after episode 16 when they started slowly getting closer the habits faded because he knew he could trust them. 

4 ---

this is such a minor point in comparison to the rest of this list but i can see it so clearly in my brain. chip has an apple (likely stolen tbh) and he takes a bite out of it and leans against a wall. jay either makes a snide comment towards him about it or just snorts or something, prompting chip to hold it up towards her and go “you want some?” in a snarky way (speaking with his mouth full all the while).

jay rolls her eyes and says yes and gets startled when chip actually throws her the apple. she yelps, catching it, then throws it back immediately while yelling something like “ew, no, you took a bite of it already! i was kidding! gross!” chip feigns being wounded and retorts with something like “and here i was willing to expose myself to your stink getting on my apple–” and cue bickering between them about cooties. 

he just straight up was willing to share the apple, thoughts abt "the fact he already bit into it" don’t register for him bc its such a non-issue in his mind. he offers to share about any food he has/makes because its a silent way to show he cares. i don’t think he’s fully conscious of that fact though. in general i think chip responds a lot better to subtle actions showing love than words of love and this is just another example of that from him

(following this is likely where cinnamon roll scene would go in the fic, both timeline-wise and thematically, since this section is focused more or less on "sharing your food as a sign of love")

5 ---

this next section would be the most plot heavy or traditional “fic” affair, in that it’s not solely fluff padding/analysis and has some original storybits.

the crew would be stranded on an island. i don’t know how exactly, but the key parts is that they don’t have their ship, there’s no one else on the island, and they have limited resources/rations. presumably they know rescue is coming, but ideally they don’t know exactly when (for drama purposes, as well as to make proper rationing out supplies p much impossible). perhaps the grandberry crew is on their way to save them, but they ended up on this island after a storm and don’t know where they are to point the grandberry pirates to. something like that.

actually, this plays out very similarly to the ollie part as detailed earlier, but to the left. as the crew starts to struggle with rations, chip would start (subtly when possible) start giving up his own portions. either by feigning lack of appetite, persuasion, deception, etc. the closest he comes to stating the truth would be when someone (likely ollie) asks if he’ll be okay going without his portion and chip shrugs then leans back on his elbows with a smirk and goes “nah, i’m used to it anyway.”

this is when the rest of the crew also starts to pick up on chip’s behaviors, to the point it becomes a bit of an unspoken secret they don’t want to dig into. previously, and the reason the entire fic is from Jay's POV, shes been the only one observant enough to take notice off all these traits. this is when it becomes So obvious everyone notices it.

6 ---

preferably, near the beginning of the story (likely after the chip bag incident, but before jay starts noticing all of chip’s behaviors, so that she cares for him more than she’s annoyed by him but hasn't put together any real dots-- between section 1 and 2), there would be a section where chip is mocked for his short height (as the shortest of the crew, at around 5’4) and being VERY easy for gillion to carry. 

then, after the island section (section 5), there would be another part where chip’s height and weight are commented on. i'm undecided if this would be another light hearted goof scene or a more “dramatic” serious scene (which if it was it would likely be tied to the island incident. maybe an injury or argument or something?).

either way, it happens because jay ends up lifting/carrying chip. jay “8 in strength” ferin. he’s just fuckin light. afterwards, chip would explain saying something like “its not my fault! cause like– outside of arlin, i was kind of a street rat growing up, yknow? they arent particularly known for having a stable food situation, didn’t get all the nutrients and junk you need to grow tall”. it starts as a joke and a kind of light-hearted ribbing defense, but kind of sobers up in that melancholic-nostalgic way by the end.

it’s the first time he directly states anything abt his upbringing and food to his crew, but its a confirmation. well, its a confirmation for jay. everyone else definitely knew something was going on, but jay is the one who is able to connect all the pieces bc she’s the only one whos noticed all the other pieces. she gets the Whole Picture of how his childhood and upbringing caused all these behaviors and kind of what they imply abt chip's behavior now (like the food sharing as love, smothering ollie, etc)

+ 1 ---

for a cheesy ending bonus, have jay use a mix of chip’s anecdotes abt the black rose and drey’s shaky memory to try and cook up a meal he used to have there. (for bonus, if desired she could reach out to lizzie too since lizzie lived with the old chef shay).

depending on author preference, either its good and chip cries because of the ~*memories*~ and the fact they cared enough, or it’s comically awful and not much at all like the original but the sole fact that they went out of their way to very obviously try SO hard to surprise him with this because they thought it would make him happy (as well as trying to speak to him in his own love language) makes him cry about it anyway. 

(again, chip responds better to acts of love than words-- having his crew not only notice this abt him, but then do something to try and show that love hits him way harder than anything else could)

[kusaka6e]

TUTOR

two | three | four

chapter list

———

you'd been at the library for about an hour, doing homework for your other classes while you waited for 4:30 to hit.

someone dramatically sitting in the chair across from you makes you jump, pulling one of your earbuds out.

baji is sitting in front of you, slamming a notebook down onto the table.

"did you have to make such an entrance?"

"didn’t wanna be late.”

"i didn't know you cared about being on time."

he scoffs at your comment, pulling out a pencil.

"what are you doing in chem right now?"

"i have no fucking clue." he replies blankly

you choke back a laugh at the deadpan look on his face, knowing he's being completely serious.

"you have any notes to look at?" he shakes his head, making you roll your eyes.

"no wonder you're failing, you don't have anything to study with."

"my teacher talks too fast for me to write anything down! and he just talks to us like we're stupid if we ask questions." he crossed his arms over his chest, angrily furrowing his eyebrows.

"i can look in my dorm and see if i still have my notes from last semester, you can have them if i do."

"really?"

"i've already taken all the chemistry classes i need for my major, it's not like i have any use for them."

"so what happens until you find them?"

"you can't think of one thing your teacher talked about? or have any exam you've already taken, or something?"

he clicks a few times on his laptop, face scrunching with concentration as he scrolls.

"here's this." he turns the screen towards you, a triumphant smile on his face. a '35/100' is in large numbers next to the assignment name.

"damn. looks like i've got my work cut out for me."

"shut up!"

he searches through his surprisingly organized notebook, pulling out a few sheets of paper from a divider.

"this is the written work."

"give me a second." you look over the problems, analyzing his work and where he went wrong. his handwriting was a little wild, but to your surprise he was pretty detailed in writing out his calculations, which made it easier for you to explain his errors.

"so, you got all the numbers right on these but you have to mind your sig figs."

"what the fuck is a sig fig?"

"significant figures. in chemistry calculations, you have to be really accurate. sig figs are like a set of rules to keep numbers accurate."

"how is that any different from just using a calculator?"

you flip to an empty page in his notebook, making a small title to write about significant figures.

he watches as you scribble down the notes, your eyebrows creeping together with focus.

why is my chest tingling ?

ew this is weird

"so, every time you do a calculation you have to follow these rules with your answer."

"so, even though this is what the calculator says, that's not the whole answer."

"right, it starts with two zeros and those don't count."

it takes about a half an hour, but he's eventually able to get through a set of problems without error.

"good job."

"i did it! i'm the best chemistry student the world has ever seen!" he dramatically flexed his arms, proudly grinning

"you sure about that?"

"of course i am."

"okay, show me how to do dimensional analysis." his face pales, smile dropping. you let out a chuckle, turning to a fresh page in the notebook

"you couldn't just let me have my moment?"

"not until you don't need my help anymore."

two hours pass, and you've covered a good amount of information. you could tell as hard as he was trying, baji was quickly losing focus.

"okay, let's call it a night."

"finally." he breathed out, tossing his pencil on the table.

"damn, i didn't know you were that excited to get away from me."

"if you come near me with any more chemistry stuff right now, i might punch you."

"i'd like to see you try." you raise a brow, making him smirk.

"you’re a lot more dense than i thought, but i think you’ll be able to pass. the fact that you actually care so much helps.”

"don't call me dense, i don't know what it means." you burst out into laughter, making him roll his eyes before he lets out a chuckle.

"just because im in toman doesn't mean i don't care about school. we're all humans too, we don't eat sleep and breathe fighting."

"i never said you guys aren't human. but it's nice that you care about your grades."

"well don't make me out to be some softie!"

"i'll see you later baji." you roll your eyes, waving as you head for your dorm.

you open the door, hanging your keys on the wall hook.

"how was tutoring?"

you whirl around, seeing emma, draken, and mikey sitting on your floor with uno cards in their hands.

"how the hell did you guys get in here?!"

"picked the lock." mikey grinned

"you’re all insane."

"i'm surprised you both made it out alive." emma giggled

"he’s even dumber than i thought, but he’ll be fine.”

“baji might seem like an idiot, but he’ll surprise you.” draken doesn't look up from placing down a draw four, making mikey's jaw drop.

"kenny! this is betrayal!"

"you hit me with draw fours three times in a row last round, get over it."

you grin at their banter, mikey dramatically whining about draken breaking his heart.

"deal me in next round, i'll destroy you losers."

"you're on." emma grins, grabbing the stack of cards.

as the next round begins and you're looking over your cards, your phone buzzes.

unknown

today, 7:32 pm

hey

can we meet agn tmw

hey baji

more questions already?

i'm still at the lirbary

libary

LIBRARY

i was looking at the notes u rote and i got lost

same time tomorrow

[a-flickering-soul]

girlie, why are you so angry....

Hey, thanks for sending in an ask! I really do think Rabbit is specifically a really interesting character to me personally specifically due to the way she subverts the revenge fantasy character. I really love revenge fantasy characters (specifically queer revenge narratives, which I'm sure if you were here circa winter/spring 2021 you would remember), and when I initially read Red Core (or what's published of it now, anyways), I was both delighted and confused because?? Rabbit has pretty much all the components of a queer revenge fantasy character but?? There is no revenge to speak of??

To elaborate, Rabbit is a very interesting character because her backstory is elaborate on the scale of "oh you're someone's special little OC and everything happens to you because your author loves you so so so so much and also you're a reflection of your author" (I say this lovingly because I do the same thing). Very briefly, she was forcibly closeted by her father/creator, physically hurt by him, and told to drop the subject of her gender and gender presentation or she'll be disassembled (if not in as many words). Despite this, she loves her father, and out of all of her siblings she is the only one known to actively still mourn him and honor his memory. More than a century later, old blueprints were found by the descendant of her creator confirming what Rabbit had been barred from saying all along--that she sure was a girl! And deserved to be seen as such! And--the rest of the details we don't know yet, only that she was able to transition and be respected and loved in truth.

I say Rabbit is a subverted revenge fantasy character purely because she has no desire for revenge, despite the abuse she underwent and the lack of...not so much closure, but apologies and acknowledgement that she was hurt, and she was made to be ashamed and silenced, and reassurance that none of it was her fault. Initially, (taking Red Core as a complete work) I was left a little nonplussed at the lack of rage and anger and hurt I saw on Rabbit's end. As a known revenge fantasy enjoyer, I really wanted to see her have that realization that she was allowed to be angry and hurt and that she did get hurt by someone she trusted implicitly. But the more I thought about it, and then about Rabbit as a whole, the songs she creates and the persona she puts on onstage, the more I realized she doesn't need a revenge arc and in fact she doesn't want one either!

One of my favorite pieces of character analysis when it comes to Rabbit is that she saw the century of enforced silence and closeting and misgendering and decided to let it go. She has no reason to want closure from another person when she found it herself. She took her flaws, the damage done to her system, her malfunctions, and built herself around those imperfections. Her stutter after Peter Walter I ripped her jaw off, her core power fluctuations after it was cracked and stolen, her own identity as a trans woman--all of these things are core parts of who she is now. They appear in her songs, her stage presence, in everything she does. And she is lighter for it. She chose to put down the weight of the past 118 years and chose herself instead. She chose to make the errors that deemed her faulty core parts of her personality. She chose to be silly, and weird, and dumb, and to make other people laugh. She subverts the queer revenge fantasy trope in choosing internal closure, rather than external, in a way that feels not only satisfying narratively, but character-wise as well.

[theshy1sout]

Six Eared Shadow

Do you remember the analysis about Mei and Red Son? That was me, and I'm doing this again, but now about Macaque and Sun Wukong

Because what the heck why do they hate each other so much

Ok, so this... This is such a messy chaotic really chaotic mix of a few headcanons and theories I made up and it SOMEHOW turned into a fanfic that I wrote so long that other people made many similar things in meanwhile and now this sounds not original at all, but I wrote it not to keep it in my deep hidden shelf so here we go

(It's based on what I know from the lmk series. I've started to read JTTW, but I'm still not so far to get to know anything about Macaque, but I won't change anything about this theory from now on)

Let's gather some basic information for the start.

-> Macaque is made with a shadow or even he is a shadow (kinda shadow demon, the demon of shadow). I mean, shadow is not only his power, he literally is made with shadow matter. We know that because he can not only manipulate shadows but also go through walls and turn yourself into a shadow.

-> I'm not sure if someone made him or he just "poof" out of nowhere just like Sun Wukong, but according to the story he told about how close he and Monkey King used to be, there's no doubt they had some master/student relationship which later turned into almost equal partnership. What is said, Macaque followed Sun Wukong for a long time, learning a lot from him, 'being his shadow'. They grew in power together, fought together, and (as it is said) Macaque started casting as Sun Wukong shadow, which (surprisingly) looks like he did willingly. Just look at the picture - the shadow is big and bright, it’s powerful and smiling, proud of his strength. He doesn’t look like someone forced to be Sun Wukong’s shadow. It shows how much Macaque admired Monkey King, that he wasn't just a friend for him, he was his idol.

-> We all know Macaque is a shadow demon, he can easily change his appearance, he does not have to look like an evil clone of Monkey King, especially if he hates him now or something, SO even if he used to look up at Sun as his ex-student or ex-partner, and now we know he is NOT, he would prefer to not look so similar any more.

He can choose any other look, but he doesn't. Why? Well, maybe he actually cannot. Maybe this isn't an appearance he has specifically chosen, maybe this is his 'basic' comfy form and any other form would just take too much energy to keep up. And looking at the really tiny probability of two very similar monkeys just "poofing" out of nowhere, I dare to say, Macaque wasn't born (I mean like Sun Wukong or any other demon), but he was specifically created. And here is a question: on someone's purpose or not? Maybe the power of great Monkey King was so strong so the part of it just jumped from him and formed into another similar creature, but let me say it's just weird and I prefer the theory of Sun Wukong being so bored and lonely after his master's (Tripitaka) death, and he created a brother for himself from his own shadow. Just to have someone, anyone.

So Wukong created Macaque and then what? He trained him, he taught him everything he knew, maybe even he shared his powers with him. Some great great bonding time. But as Macaque said, something drew them apart. It is visible that Macaque blamed Monkey King for this, for 'forgetting him'. Before speculation of what happened then between them, let's focus on what Macaque showed us what he wants now.

We have two episodes, both show different sides of him. In season 1, Macaque's main goal is to steal Monkey King's power from Mk, and then to very specifically revenge. He visibly does not want to defeat Sun Wukong, he wants to hurt him as much as possible. Look: when Monkey King showed up, Macaque totally forgot about Mk. And then, when he's so close to defeat him, instead of that he turned to Mk and tried to kill the teenager. Mk is just a tool to hurt Sun Wukong.

And we can't forget how Macaque constantly pointed out all the weak sides of Sun, he's basically just saying on and on "you're weak, you're weak, you're so weak, I'm so strong, I'm strong, you are so weak". Which really fits the feeling of being forgotten because he was weaker and Monkey King was stronger, better, glorious and famous. Macaque really feels like that, he really tried to make Sun Wukong feel his pain by dominating him.

On the other hand, we see that Sun constantly striked off him. He said almost nothing to him, just "Aren't you bored of keep being in my shadow? It's time to give back what you've stolen" and that was fricking all. For Monkey King, Macaque is a just shadow, always behind him, something you turn around and leave behind to not see it and to forget, like an unwanted past. An unnecessary problem, that irritatingly keeps returning to him. He does not want to interact to not make even a slight more bond between them, he wants to delete him from his life forever, and omg WHY. At this end of the ep, Sun Wukong did not even mention Macaque. He really doesn't care at all (or extremely tries to not care). His HATE is almost touchable, ouch.

In season 2, Sun Wukong LEFT US ALL ALONE. Macaque showed up again, he played with Mk a bit, and... Left? That's the thing, you see, he doesn't need to hurt or kill Mk. All we see is Macaque talking about his past and then letting Mk experience something the 'hero' in the story should have felt. The guilt. When Mk interpreted his story differently, seeing himself as the warrior, Macaque corrected him. Cause he doesn't care about Mk at all. He heard how Mk told him about what hurt him, and here is a funny point, because if Macaque needs to be understood, listening to Mk and talking with him (such a simple act of empathy, they both needed it then, guh) should have been enough. Mk really felt the 'warrior' character in the story, so he understood what Macaque felt. But surprisingly, that was not what the demon carved.

Macaque chose to make Mk feel like Monkey King at the moment something drew the demons apart. He wanted to force Mk to be sorry, to apologize, to regret his mistakes, cause he failed with forcing Monkey King to feel that. But! Maybe he is not as purely innocent and poorly forlorn. We see the flashback for a half of second before Mk hit him with Staff:

We see Sun Wukong attacking Macaque who's in his demon (true) form.

Let's repeat this: Macaque felt as if a friend left him in the past. He said a friend did this to have all the "hero's glory" for themselves. We know Sun Wukong could do such a thing, especially before he met Tripitaka, but 1. In my theory Macaque is created after Tripitaka's death and 2. If (as my theory said) Sun created Macaque to not feel so lonely, he would never leave him for such a thing. So Macaque hides something for sure, something he did, something so terrible that made Sun Wukong attack him and not want to know him anymore. How horrendous thing Macaque did that made Sun Wukong choose to be alone again and to forget his dear brother he created by himself?

Back to the great bonding time, repeating speculation of "oh maybe they even share the powers" and comparing it to Macaque wanting to steal Mk's power, my theory here is saying:

Sun Wukong taught Macaque the technique of the same powers as he knew, but Macaque overused it (probably wanting to see how powerful he is, probably showing off and killing so many harmless people) doing terrible terrible things. So Monkey King took all of the powers from him and left him alone, powerless, with the last painful words: "Dont you dare to show in front of my eyes ever again". Of course Macaque was hurt, of course he didn't see why he's the bad guy, because he did not care about people at all. And of course Sun Wukong was hurt too.

Maybe he came back to the village Macaque had destroyed and following a quiet crying he found a little baby with a heart so clear and he put into him all Macaque's powers, making them sleep until the time will be right... But back to the series!

Yes exactly. Why did he destroy the lantern and leave? Why did he suddenly lose interest in teasing Mk and stop forcing him to feel guilty?

First thing, he saw Mk is ready to fight for his friends seriously. He still cared so much about them, not like Monkey King about Macaque. That was hard to swallow, that was hard to watch for the demon. That was't the thing he wanted to see. And second, the flashback. Maybe the sudden realization that he actually did something bad. Cause Sun Wukong didn’t just leave him, he cast him out. It was hard to admit that he actually deserved this (or maybe much more), it’s much easier to blame others, not yourself. So Macaque felt “that’s enough” and left. Mk brought him to this uncomfortable point of admitting the truth. Which he didn’t want to. Maybe in the following eps, he will see it, but now Macaque just isn’t ready yet. But the last talk with Mk gives me a little hope. He stopped treating him like a tool or toy, he was actually talking with him like with a person, he even warned him about Lady Bone Demon.

Maybe (maybe) one day he'll see that humans aren't just useless creatures he can carelessly kill, maybe Mk will make him care and realize what he's done, but that's just speculation in speculation, he could die before he reaches that point, maybe he is already dead....

And that's it. That is all I wrote on ao3, but in the fanfic I put much more details and I build those characters up much more than here. This is only rough rough short-saying, I'm really sorry if you read it all

Oh and here is a link if you liked this above i'd love if you read the fanfic thank you

[chaotic-archaeologist]

Hey! I'm in my second year of uni (Archaeology obvs) and as field opportunities start to come up, I'm getting nervous about navigating fieldwork being trans. mainly things like accommodation, bathing, etc, while needing to take off my binder, but also safety on an international level. I don't know how much you've dealt with, but do you have any advice/help/etc?

Hello there dirtling,

For clarity I will begin by stating that I am also a transgender man. I'm going to try and break down your ask into several parts to make sure that I address all of your concerns.

Accommodations: I would start by looking through the syllabi for potential field school programs because those often have details about housing in them. Often students are roomed together, which was something that I personally have been nervous about in the past. I would encourage you to advocate for getting a room for yourself if you feel comfortable doing so, but you are under no obligation to disclose your status as transgender. If you have a therapist or psychiatrist who can write you a letter saying that you need single housing due to mental health conditions, I would suggest you follow that route.

The silver lining of the whole covid situation is that most programs have changed their housing policy to account for single housing for all students. Additionally, if you can find a program that houses students in college/university dorms (providing you're comfortable living there) you might be more likely to secure a single room than if a field school is having students stay in a hotel or house.

Bathrooms:

I think that it would not be unreasonable for you to reach out to the coordinators of whatever dig you end up going to and ask them what the bathroom arrangement will be like. Some places have Porta-Johns, some might be near a facility that has indoor restrooms (although this is very rare), and some might simply have people going in the woods.

I know that bathrooms can be intimidating, but I've found that most people really aren't that interested in scrutinizing other people's restroom behavior. If you're going in the woods, make sure that you have privacy. If it's a porta-potty the good news is that no one is going to be going in there with you. If it's indoor restrooms there might be a gender neutral one you can use, you can find someone you trust to go with you, or you can wait until it's unoccupied.

As for bathing, that might be the most difficult part. I lived for a year in an all boy's dorm that only had gym style bathrooms. There were curtains in front of the shower stalls, but that was pretty much it. I took to showering late at night or at weird times in the afternoon to ensure that I had the most privacy as possible, and I would put on my underwear and a tank top before getting out of the shower.

Personal Safety:

Anthropology tends to be pretty accepting, and there are several trans archaeologists that I know who have all had positive experiences within their anthropology departments. However, I can't speak for the culture in countries outside of the United States. I think that a lot of digs/field schools in the northern part of America or Canada might be good options for you. You mention going abroad, but you could also look at programs within your country of origin where you're most familiar with the social situation.

Binding:

I've had top surgery, and I'll admit that I've been out of the binder game for a while, so if anyone with more current information wants to chime in, feel free to do so.

I haven't done fieldwork in a binder, but I did do a lot of traveling and hiking in pretty hot areas, and that's the experience that I'll be drawing on. You might want to look into lighter weight and breathable binders (the one I used to wear was an Underworks 983). Be cognizant of how much physical activity you're engaging in and take breaks to make sure you're able to catch your breath. I would also invest in a loofa or shower brush to scrub your back with because the sweat, body oils, and skin there can cause acne. You may have to deal with acne anyway, but you definitely don't want stuff building up and clogging pores.

Resources:

You are far from the first trans archaeologist, and there are some amazing professionals from previous generations who have worked really hard to pave the way for people like you and me. One of them, Barbra Voss, wrote three articles that came out in March about gender related harassment in archaeology and what we can do to prevent it. They are:

Documenting Cultures of Harassment in Archaeology: A Review and Analysis of Quantitative and Qualitative Research Studies

Disrupting Cultures of Harassment in Archaeology: Social-Environmental and Trauma-Informed Approaches to Disciplinary Transformation

Using Public Health Interventions to Prevent Harassment in Archaeology

I believe that none of them are behind a paywall, but if they are please let me know and I'll find a way to get you access to them. I would highly suggest you read all of them carefully.

Finally, I want to close by reaffirming that trans people can and should be archaeologists. There is room in this discipline for you, and just because some things might be difficult doesn't mean that there isn't a way to make it work.

Keep your trowel sharp and your heart hopeful,

-Reid

[phoneybeatlemania-bit-the-dust]

We keep talking about John wanting one person to be everything in his life, but When do you think he got the idea that he could get one person to be eveything? Maybe it was before/early in his relationship with Cynthia, and at some point he thought she would be everything for him (which, holy shit wake up babe new boat just dropped). Or maybe he got that idea while he was on the boat named Paul, and then moved on to the boat named Yoko when the first boat didn't work out. Maybe after Julia’s death?? Maybe I'm forgetting someone??? or maybe he’s had this idea his whole life, idk, what do you think?

This is a fun one, cause we know I love a good armchair psychological analysis :) (although as always, im not a psychologist, im a dumb 17 year old girl - so take what I say with a grain o’ salt!)

EDIT: Also, sorry it took me so long to answer this, I wasn’t ignoring you anon I promise!! I was just on holiday and taking a break from the internet!

I kind of think that that longing had been there within John virtually his entire life, even from a very early age. But I think the first person to ever really tolerate it was Yoko (I don’t think it was a good thing for her to tolerate it though, but ill get on to that in a minute).

Personally, im for the belief that John most likely had Borderline Personality Disorder - and so the isolation he experienced wasn’t so much from depression itself (although, it must have worsened when he was experiencing some of his depressive episodes). I mean, depression and bpd tend to be closely intertwined, so they aren’t mutually exclusive - but what im attempting to articulate is that I think Johns loneliness was more closely related to his disordered personality, rather then just his bouts of depression. So this alienation was something he lived with chronically (im sure he had good days and bad days y’know - but overall, I think a sense of alienation was intrinsically linked to his personality). If you have some knowledge about bpd, then you'll probably know that they are ofter prone to forming very intense attachments to people (often referred to as a "favourite person"). I couldn't detail the exact psychology behind why this is so common for people with this disorder, but simply, it just is; id say its at least partially because a relationship can make you feel whole and fulfilled, at least for a time, but naturally if you don't address your underlying issues, this feeling won't be sustained.

And so I don’t think that its as if he necessarily had this idea that he just needs this one person to be his everything, and then all his problems will be fixed - I think there was always a part of his subconscious that needed someone else, and sought refuge through means of intimate relationships in an attempt to escape this sense of isolation. But ultimately, I think isolation still underpinned Johns life, regardless of how close he got with another person.

If we observe one of his earliest friendships, with Pete Shotton, we might note that John would refer to himself and Pete as: "Shennon and Lotton", interconnecting the two's names as though they were one entity. Another aspect of their friendship that is notable is the quote from Pete, and I paraphrase here because I cant be arsed with finding the quote, that "John always needed a gang". I want to clarify that John having a best friend, and making silly names for their partnership, was not a weird thing, because its common for children to grow closely attached to one of their friends. But its the fact that these types of relationships persisted for John throughout his entire life that makes me feel like his early friendship with Pete is perhaps notable and telling of his personality, and the traits the persisted within it through adolescence and into adulthood. Its certainly a weaker point, because I don't think Johns relationship with Pete was anything out of the ordinairy - but it does show I guess that John was always prone to fixating on individual people even from an early age.

This is a tiny bit of a hot take, but I don't think Julia's death was the thing that fucked him up for life - it was definitely traumatising for him, and the fact that he never truly fixed his relationship with his mother I think left a dent in his psyche that had great affects on his relationships and emotional regularity - but really, I think even if Julia hadn't died so abruptly, John was already carrying an immense amount of trauma, and so her death was more like the nail in the coffin for him. Perhaps his already-existing issues might have been resolved easier had Julia lived? We'll never know I guess.

But yeah, I think more notable aspects of John's childhood that helped in forming this 'longing' within him, might be his being taken away from Julia at age 5 and Mimi's arguably 'cold' parenting style.

Now on to Yoko: as I mentioned earlier, I think Yoko was the first person to really tolerate Johns "clinginess" (for lack of a better term). You could argue other people, such as Pete, Stuart, Paul, Cynthia etc. were the real first people to tolerate, and even harbour this trait of Johns - and to some degree, I might agree! But none of them did so to the degree in which Yoko did. If we examine this quote: “Yoko was more then willing to organise his life…He wasn’t happy cut loose and far away. John needed a mother figure running his life.” (Imagine This by Julia Baird, pg. 241) we can infer John’s vulnerability and lack of sense of self - he craved somebody who stable, and more sane then him. Arguably, a large part of the reason John was so rigorously attached to Yoko, was because Yoko was willing to embody stability; and stability was probably something John was seldom used too. Whether it was confusion caused by an external force, or just something internal within him that had to fuck things up, it appears that chaos followed him throughout his life - especially within his relationships.

But John didn’t need someone to provide a satisfaction to this want - he needed therapy (real therapy, not primal scream quack crap). Ultimately, I don’t think Yoko helped him - partially because they appear to be a pretty toxic partner, but also partly because John didn’t need a partner. As I said before, he needed…

…therapy

And Yoko was not therapy.

P.S. something about this post feels incomplete, but im just gonna post it anyway, and maybe edit it later if I figure out what that something is