#I'm stressing with college‚ pardon me

[sealovinq]

i need friends /gen (slight rant in tags)

[harunayuuka2060]

Kalim: Headmage, aside from Malleus and Leona, is there any other royalty studying at Night Raven College?

Crowley: ...Why do you ask, Mr. Al Asim?

Kalim: My dad asked me to give a gift to a royal, but I’m unsure who he’s talking about. He mentioned it’s not Malleus or Leona.

Crowley: *clears throat* I should check...

Kalim: 'Check'? You mean there is?

Crowley: I’ll update you later, Mr. Al Asim. For now, please return to your classroom.

Kalim: Okay!

MC: *chuckles* Ah, yes. The House of Al Asim.

MC: I thought they would never get in touch with me.

Crowley: I see. Should I inform Kalim that you are the royal he’s looking for?

MC: No, I have no dealings with him.

MC: However, do inform him that I would like to receive a response from the Viper Family.

Crowley: Viper...? Your Maj- Sorry. If you don’t mind me asking, what is your connection to the Viper family?

MC: *smiles* I am considering their daughter, Najma Viper, as a suitable match for the prince.

Crowley: ...

Crowley: Pardon?

MC: Hmm? Is something amiss? You appear rather pale.

Crowley: N-No, Your Majesty! *immediately smiles* I happened to remember that there's something I need to do.

MC: Oh, really? I thought you were trying to flee after potentially offending me.

Crowley: No, Your Majesty! I've been quite busy lately!

MC: *chuckles* I’m merely jesting. You may take your leave now.

Crowley: Th-Thank you, Your Majesty.

Jamil: *received a phone call from home; it was Najma to be exact*

Jamil: What is it? Tell me quick. I still have a basketball practice to attend to.

Najma: I think... I think I'm getting married!

Jamil: What are you talking about?

Najma: Father and Mother are panicking right now!

Jamil: Najma, calm down. You're not getting married.

Jamil: You don't even have suitors.

Najma: Hey!

Jamil: I'm guessing it's a prank. Don't think about it too much.

Najma: Hmph! *hangs up*

Jamil: *frowns* What's wrong with her?

*In the Kingdom of Arendelle*

Evan: *MC's 15-year-old brother; prince regent of the Kingdom of Arendelle*

Evan: *blushing after he found out that MC sent a marriage request to Najma on his behalf*

Lucas: ...

Lucas: Not to make the situation worse, but Their Majesty also sent your photo.

Evan: !!!

Evan: MC would not do that!

Lucas: Nah. I know your older sibling more than you.

Lucas: So, are you going to officially court Lady Viper?

Evan: ...

Evan: I'm not sure... I'm a stranger to her.

Lucas: Well, you can be friends first.

Evan: A marriage request was sent.

Lucas: So? You should be fine.

Evan: ...

Evan: You're so indifferent to me, Sir Lucas.

Lucas: No. I'm just stressed and worried for Their Majesty.

Lucas: And pissed off, but I would probably get punished for saying that.

Evan: ...

Evan: You are aware that the rules in the kingdom doesn't state as such.

Lucas: Yeah, I know.

[fakeusernamelol]

*cracks knuckles*

THE FUCKING DEPTH TO THAT PATHETIC FORD IS INSANE I need to throw hammers at his headdddd

I love the comparison between those two Fords and I also think it's cool that when you look at the two the first pivotal difference that they had was that kidnapper Ford respected Stan more. I think they're neat and I'm smashing their faces together like barbies

And Stanley. Stanleyyyyyy. Stockholm syndrome is a good way to put it (even if it technically isn't real and was invented because of a mixture of sexism and police misconduct ☝️🤓 --) because Stanley. He is brute forcing things to work out because he would burn down the world for Ford as long as Ford doesn't leave him (and he did try to do that! Canonically! And we're not supposed to ship them somehow!) because Stan is Certain Ford could do better than him if Ford weren't stuck to him at this point (and. Stan doesn't know the twins aren't Carla's and Ford did all this on purpose. He thinks this whole thing is shared blame.) and there's also them being so secluded and codependant meaning Stan is so sure no one could love him as much as Ford does and on the other side Ford doesn't believe he can be understood and accepted as much as Stan does and that would be a great foundation for Ford domestic abusing Stan like in bad ending except. Ford can't leave. He can't even imply he can leave, and he doesn't want to think about that because now Ford has discovered a new option bad ending Ford never did: Stan can leave. Stan isnt really dependant on Ford for his own and his kids' safety, Stan could put him in wet cement leaving only his mouth, nose, and cock out and he would be equally useful to Stan as he is now and I think that's beautiful. Neither of them wants to put the idea of leaving on the table even for manipulation reasons which means they're kind of at a standstill which almost approximates a healthy relationship and I fucking love them

And BILL????

The Bill-Stanley parallels are undeniable, and I can definitely see how Stanley would immediately cut that shit out if he heard abt Bill but also. Bill is a manipulator, and Ford is very easy to be manipulated because Ford is used to a superiority complex and when he sees someone as better than him he kinda just. Relents. So Bill comes in like 'I have infinite knowledge and with that infinite knowledge I know your husband is suffering because of you' and Ford is immediately at attention like 'What? But Stanley loves me he gives me college money and would do anything for me and he loves this life' and Bill immediately goes in with the 'actually remember when you were stressed as shit for that first year, ever since you knocked up Stan? Getting increasingly more and more stressed until Stan took over? You know he did that because you were crumbling under the pressure, because he'd do anything for you and that includes stressing himself sick for the last decade to provide for you when you're more capable than him. If you become the scientist you were meant to be instead of staying a pathetic little school boy on your husband's dime then you can both live well and maybe Stan will be able to sit back and trust you again. You know he doesn't trust you, right? That's why he won't have any more kids with you, because you're not using your talents to help him, because you gave up as a person, now you have the intelligence of a higher being but the self-worth of a dog. I can help you build something, something that will change the world, something worth pardoning your crimes for and give you enough money the man you claim to love will be able to trust you again.' and Ford. Ford at his core just desperately loves Stanley.

Also ur extra made me laugh so hard, cuck Ford real, I need to see bad ending Ford and kidnapper Ford fight to the death

🫎

HOJOJOJO IM GLAD YOU LIKE IT DEAR 🫎

It just did a """ Psychological analysis""" to both Bad Ending and Kidnapper au Stan and get to the conclusion that even if one got his cards more in his favor and didn't let things to increase to even worse they were still pretty fucked up thanks to the manipulation Ford used with them making them still felt like an inferior person than Ford even with the different situation they both were living.

Now, About Bad ending and Kidnapper au Ford indeed their main difference was how each saw Stan.(Again im going to talk about psychological themes without a professional knowledge and just in a superficial way so im sorry if i make any mistake with them 🙇) That is because in Bad Ending au i do imagine Ford as a kind of sociopath, Due to being the only son in the family Ford was raised with the idea of grown up to be a providing and valiant man, the compliments and achievements he has gain thanks to his intelligence were affecting him more than they should, were making him felt that he was someone superior to the rest and all those who bullied him for his intelligence or his unique six fingers were sure jealous for him. He was thinking that he was always right, he knew how things should go, how his future AND the future of his lovingly sister should be. And you say that Kidnapper Ford had a similar reasoning, and thats true! But the thing was Bad Ending ford was really sure of his thoughts and never dared to question himself. He always finded a reasonable reason of why he did the things he did. Because he knowed what wad best for both of them, [] was just to stupid to realise it but there was no problem because she had him to take care of her. He grew up with a mind full of Sexist, Homophobic and general toxic thoughts that didn't help him realise that he was actually just hurting the one he said was the love of his live, his beautiful wife and sister, she was only to him...

Kidnapper au Ford shared similar thoughts but unlike Bad Ending Ford those hateful thoughts weren't so strong in Ford. What was tougher then? His obsession for Stanley. So you know I'm Pretty sure Ford accepted that his sister wanted to be a man and let him have some liberty because he just loved so much stan no matter what he did (As long as everything he did cannot affect their relationship in any way, Yes Stan you can fight with whoever you want and use the clothes you want but don't you dare talking to that girl for more than fifteen seconds or your brother would be very mad at you..) that meaned this Ford was better? eh 🤷 he respected a bit more Stan's desitions but you cant really tell he felt them. (I'm pretty sure Ford would think that he wasn't gay because Stan used to be a woman so it doesn't count and that kind of things you know) Ford saw them more as a whim than something really serious and he allowed it only to keep his beautiful husband happy. But if some decision Stan made was threatening any of his ideals, he would not hesitate to act against it, just as he did by deliberately impregnating Stanley and lie to him in order to keep him away from Carla just to later kidnapping him for the same reason without never asking his opinion of nothing at all!

Also, Ngl you couldn't describe it any better how the whole Bill thing would ended up being XD There was another thing they both shared and is that they were both actually really just some-easy-to-manipulate cowards, So if Stan ever tried to defend himself of Ford that attitude of a brave and authoritarian man will go overboard and Ford would easily become Stan's bitch to please him as he would like. Stan didn't give a fuck if there was one weird geometrical demon telling his brother to take command and show as the real man he was to stan, if he tried to do something or told him something in an authoritarian tone like to have sex with him because he said so he would ended up sleeping outside the shack among the wolves with bruised cheek thanks to the punch stan gave him at the first attempt to get closer to him 🙇🙇

[himiribashira]

Too serious~*

Gen:slight angst,fluff

Summary:You-Y/N being best friend with the famous,handsome,stoic guy Ushijima Wakatoshi for who-knows-how-long and falling in love with him.

Warn:confession,rejected?,stressful

You told Wakatoshi, "Your form was wonderful today."

"I'm grateful Y/N. You did a good job helping Goshiko.”

You grinned to yourself when you heard his words of support.

For over two years, you were the Shiratorizawa volleyball team's manager. You had known for a few months that you liked Shiratorizawa's ace.

In fact, everyone on the team except for him appeared to be aware of this. To hide anything from the rest of them was a little difficult. Tendou also lacked any ability to maintain secrecy. When Ushijima was around, he frequently mocked you and made suggestions about your crush.

The ace himself didn't appear to notice, so you didn't express your emotions. The best you were able to do was praise him or encourage him for his performance on that particular day.

However, time had passed and his third year was almost through. He was going to leave for college on a sports scholarship, and you may never know what might have happened.

You asked, "Wakatoshi?" He gave you a brief glimpse below.

you took the step to confront him.

“We've known each other for quite some time”, you said gently. He agreed with a nod. "Do you believe we could?"

You then made a fatal mistake of turning to face him.

You were frozen.

"... I apologize.” You hastily muttered, averting his stare at you, "You look so intense, I lost my way of thought," condemning yourself for backing down.

"Pardon me. I am aware that many find me frightening.”he said in a low soft voice.

“That's not the case! To be honest, I've always enjoyed your ferocity.” You made a small smile. “And it undoubtedly frightens our rivals.”

"They shouldn't try to challenge us if they're going to be scared off by looks alone." You gave a sombre nod.

You made an effort to speak out and acknowledge your feelings once more as you made your way home in quiet. If you didn't do it right away—

You were stopped when you felt his hand on your shoulder. Your breath caught, and you looked up to see him closely observing you.

You were stopped when you felt his hand on your shoulder. Your breath caught, and you looked up to see him closely observing you.

What was he doing now?

“You were going to cross the street because you were so preoccupied,”he stated.

When you blinked your eyes, you discovered that you were in fact at a crosswalk and that it was plainly not your turn to move onto the street. You exhaled deeply.

When the light changed, he removed his hand from your shoulder. "Take more care."

He moved ahead a short distance. While you were conscious that you could let him go, you briefly observed him. However, if you did, you would never hear back. You would not be aware. Furthermore, you could never pretend to be serious about him.

"Wakatoshi, hold on." You grabbed his arm and yelled. He surprised you by turning to look at you.

“The light,Y/n—“

"That silly light is not important to me! OK, I like you. I was considering the best approach to tell you when I became sidetracked.”

He was dragged back to the sidewalk's safety by you. "I think you're great. how fervently you play volleyball. How effectively you inspire the team's remaining members with a few straightforward phrases. How honest you are, and how you never hold back when speaking your views.

Finally, he replied, "You are thinking about me a lot.”

“Do you often have me on your mind?”you ask tilting your head slightly

“I try not to--”

You sensed the icy terror of being rejected approaching.

“--because you distract me.”

“Wha-what was that?”you said,did you heard him right?or wrong?!

He groaned. "I become distracted by something about you. When I think of you, I move more awkwardly, but you also inspire me to sprint further, jump higher, and hit harder. I attempted to push the feelings away but was unsuccessful since I could never explain or understand it”. He moved a little. "Tendou actually suggested I confess, but I couldn't figure out how."

“Then perhaps this weekend we ought to go on a date,”you said.

"That'd be nice. But hold my hand first.”Without saying a word, you followed the instructions and put your hand in his. “I don't want you to feel any harm.”

The ace's cheeks were lightly dusted in pink, which you may have seen if you weren't busy internally freaking out about his confidence.

He really took his seriousness about you and everything else very seriously.

[queenlilithprime]

Business of Love - Cruel Notes (Pt. 5/8)

Gavin (He/They) x Lily (They/Them), Malik (He/Him), and Harper (He/Him)

A @campwillowpeakvn fanfic

Content Warnings: Kidnapping, Blackmail, Threats

Word Count: 885!

Gavin's hands shook as he read the letter scrawled in red ink. The police eventually confirmed it wasn't blood, but it still looked like it. It was shakily written, unconfident but definitely Lily's handwriting. Along the top half of the paper, there are tear stains. Not many but enough for them to be noticed and smudge some of the letters.

My belov-d Hyeon,

Please pardon my absence. My heart aches for you, but for your own safety I cann-t return home. I cannot return to you without putting you in d-nger.

There isn't much I c-n say about where I am. I am fed and shelt-red. I miss you.

Suddenly, the handwriting changes, far more messy and aggressive, less gentle than Lily's.

There is no way they'll ever return. Give up. I've already taken the ring.

Leave my lover. Never contact or seek them again.

Lilith is mine.

Gavin's heart sank through the floor each time he read it, looking over and over at every word, every detail to see if it was possible to discern where they are. Who has them. Everything in him ached for Lilith and he felt useless not being able to bring them home.

They were barely taking care of themself at this point, losing sleep and having to take time off work because they just... Can't handle it. Malik had been staying over because Hyeon couldn't handle the silence of the house. The lack of someone else there. Even if he wasn't Lily, knowing they weren't alone was a big relief.

"Hey, do you want me to order takeout again or...?" He asked quietly, not sure if his college buddy would respond. "Gavin...?"

Malik's eyes settled on the letter in their hands, gently plucking it from the shorter of the two. The blue-haired architect reached up to grab it but Malik raised it out of his reach.

"Nah dude, you need to stop stressing over it. The police already have the original, rereading the copy you have won't make Lily appear. Stop." He said, his expression softening as he saw Gavin's red eyes. "I know you're struggling with this, trust me I understand. I would fucking freak if I were in your shoes. Lily was my friend too Gav, I'm also really worried about them."

"No Malik you don't... I mean you do get it but there's things I can't tell you and there's a reason why Lily and I don't go on trips without each other and—" Gavin was starting to tear up, thinking about how difficult it must be for Lilith to be unsustained for so long. His words started to blur together as he spoke faster, "I physically need to be near Lily or else they—"

"Or else what, Gav?"

"Lily gets sick..." His voice broke as he barely got the words out. Malik didn't... particularly understand why Gavin was so sure that Lilith would get sick if they were far away from him but... His best friend was also extremely sure of this.

"Okay... I don't have a clue how that happens but..." He paused before sighing, "I believe you dude."

"I just... I need to see them, to make sure they're okay." They said, dropping their head. Malik rubbed their shoulders for a second before pulling them into a hug. The architect was a wreck without Lily and honestly their entire friend group was incredibly stressed.

They all knew Lilith was pretty but, they respected the fact that they were in a relationship with Gavin. So finding out that they were kidnapped was a huge shock. Especially when the letters started.

The first few were vague threats telling Gavin to keep away and stop searching for Lily.

Eventually they ramped up to death threats.

Then, the blackmail came.

It started with threats towards Gavin's family, saying that they'll be physically hurt unless he stops looking for Lily.

After that, there were letters in Lily's handwriting pleading for Gavin to stop but with the tear stains and the aggressive writing under it, the police told him that these were likely coerced.

Gavin was growing unsure of how to handle it all, unsure of how to bring Lily back.

The latest letter stung like a knife. They were getting vague and infrequent again. Did this mean they'd stop?

Would he eventually never hear about them again?

How... How did this happen?

Who is doing this?

It was breaking his heart.

...

There was a loud shattering of a window that jolted Gavin awake, a rock had flown through his bedroom window and nearly hit him.

Malik ran into the room in his PJs, looking towards the window then to Gavin. When he saw that Gavin was fine he ran to the broken panes to see if the person was still there.

It was too dark to make out much other than the dude was fucking massive. Something itched at the back of his brain, the guy was so familiar but so... Not? Like he was forgetting someone.

As Malik stared out the window and dialed the police, Gavin picked up the rock.

It had a note taped on it.

Tell the police to stop looking or I'll burn your house down. This is your final warning.

If you tell the police about this I'll do it tonight.

[big-chad69]

Some people need to accept how growing up wealthy is genuinely a fucking different approach to life/how you live outside of just "having money".

Like I've been stressing about transporting my computer overseas when I move for college because It took two years of savings to buy and I have a lotta important stuff on there- and my FATHER, who is the most senior tech expert for REDACTED COMPANY in the country, just looked me in the eye and went:

"Oh yeah well I can just pack it up for you and then register the box for one of our shipments to Holland (where I'll hopefully be moving, acceptance pending but lookin good) so you don't even have to pay for shipping."

FUCKING PARDON?? HOW THE F U C K IS THAT ACTUALLY AN OPTION AVAILABLE TO ME??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

Fellow rich people actually need to wake the fuck up, nothing, I repeat, NOTHING for you will ever be as hard as a poor person trying to do the same thing. We're not just well-connected, we're not just lucky, and we're not like everybody else. We got a golden ticket at birth and I don't wanna HEAR IT.

My example is small, but it made me think!!!

We have so many fuckin blessings that we take for granted- I never had to worry about food being on the table, was never scared that I would be homeless because I knew there would always be financial support at home, never had to ignore sickness or injury because I couldn't pay for a doctor, never worried about how I could afford my schoolbooks, clothes, or even shit like WiFi.

I'm not telling you to donate all your money to charity, or to pay for all your friends food, or tell you what the fuck to do with your money because that's your business- what I WILL tell you is that I'm not gonna listen to you deny the fact that you have wealth, cosplay poverty, and make your "eat the rich" crust punk pants in your pearly white living room. Welcome back to reality- we're privileged!

"But I'm-" Yeah yeah yeah whatever- I'm a trans narcissist, queer and neurodivergent, whatever you wanna call it- I can still recognise that money comes before all that shit. Accept that life comes easier to you, and stop fucking speaking over people who don't get as many damn chances as us. Goddamn.

[touhoutivations]

i've been out of college for about 3 years due to pandemic-related reasons and i fear i won't be able to get productive as i used to be when i finally get back in -sincerely, an anonymous ghost

"Hhhyeah, I hear ya- in a whole buncha ways, the past few years have been pretty hard- even for people that have been able to chill through it...Everyone from Eientei to Makai's been feeling it- even that immortal doctor's been trying to tell us about the effects of stress, which Eiki's taken into consideration..."

"First off, I wanna give you props for wanting to dive back into studies, and making it this far! I mean it, even if it sounds super small to you, I know it's super easy to get bogged down and struggle with well- pardon my Latin- the shitshow. So I'm glad you wanna rise up!" "Buuut, while I think honest hardworkin' types have their charm, I think you gotta reframe your thinking a bit. I dunno if you're pursuing academia to be an ~astute and eloquent individual~ or if this is a piece of paper for you to get that coin- but I think 'productivity' is kinda overrated? Or at least, misunderstood. Liiike, think about it this way-

If I was hirin', I ain't just looking for the ghost with the best grades, or the fanciest little internship or working 5 different side hustles. Life's all about all sortsa experiences. A ghost that enjoys partyin' or writin' shows me that they got a passion for people, or even a ghost that's done the bare minimum and struggled shows me they've got grit and know how to take care of 'emselves. Hell, I respect the heck outta ghosties that can use things like accessibility or support services, bureaucracy sucks but it shows they're ready to advocate for 'emselves."

"But that doesn't really talk about the soul of the thing- you. You don't really have to be 'productive'. You're doing totally fine existing as you are, you're as valuable as anybody else. Even if it takes you a buncha time, even if you flounder or fail, you're still doing your best." "I know that when I started working, I was running myself ragged and going crazy to surpass demands, but as I learnt more about my job and myself, you figure things out. You rest and you find you don't have as many eyebags. You're 'lazy' and take meal breaks and eat fruit because y'can't be bothered cooking, but you're feeling better. You run late so you figure out little shortcuts and ways to be more efficient, and some days you even wanna go as hard as you can so you can lay on a hammock early! "All of it- rest, play, work- livin', that's what real productivity is."

"So while I get you're worried, that's totally okay! 'Cuz to me, if you scrape by with a C in everything- that's a pass, who cares about all the other details? And if you don't pass, you still learnt somethin', whether it's a lecture you enjoyed, or people you met or even 'wow that sucked'- it's all little growths that weave together to make one...uh, big ol' knowledge tree!"

"So get out there and get going! Or lie down and stay here, both are just as important, mmkay?"

[mynameisnotwhatyouthinkitis]

Pardon me if I'm wrong

Perhaps I'm just an idiot

I do not take advantage of the road I take

Paved with the blood sweat and tears

Of my ancestors

I do not go to college just for a degree

The paper at the end of four years does not matter to me

The classes I take do not simply fulfill a requirement

I do not study latin just to say Pulchra Femina es to a friend

I looked at someone today, and

Yes, I was colored by curiosity

Becasue my life is more than a few words

Read from a computer screen for a test I will take on Friday

I do not learn to say I know

I learn to expect I know nothing

The classes I attend have a purpose

The money I pay

The debt I choose

Is not for you or my employer

To say that it didn't matter

Yes, my school is too expensive

And yes, the programs I participate in will decorate my resume

But today, I looked at my friends

Crowded around a table to have fun

Like childish adults just trying to make sense of everything

And I knew I never wanted anything less

Then an education.

I want to learn from my peers

Engage in this class,

Maybe try hard or not try at all

But give this road a chance to shine

For the rhyme

I will make of it

If education was free how many people

Would take a class just to know

What color frogs turn in winter

And if Edgar allen poe knew her.

I embrace my debt because it is a privilege

To know my family supports my decision

Even if my bank account runs dry

And the stress piles high

Because being educated is important

At least to me

And I can't

For the life of me

Think of a reason to ban it.

The children in the schools don't know their letters,

But they know how to hide from an active shooter,

They can't use their mind but

They can leave me behind

In a race for their lives.

Maybe I misspoke

I need to know my place, right?

I can't be too woke,

But dammit I can fucking fight.

Fight for the children who deserve to read,

Fight for the young adults who yearn to be

In college

Fight for the women who are fighting for their right,

Fight for the man I call my best friend,

Whose very existence is the definition on rebellion

Fight for the change I want to see,

Even if that change means going back to just yesterday

[thewitchsmind]

i was thinking of making another tumblr blog to write some paragraphs of my thoughts for a long time, but sometimes i ended up writing down my thoughts on my phone notes or just tweeting it (which cannot be detail, we know that 280 characters limit per tweet).

i never thought that small information about my older cousin triggers me to finally make this blog.

call him surya (not a real name, of course), my cousin, so far i know he is 4 years older than me. pardon my childhood memory loss. all i remember is we used to play together when we were kids. one thing i noticed and remembered is he has understanding to complex game such as tamiya at his young age. i was in kindergarten/early primary school that time, so i don't have clear vision of the memories—as i try to recall while writing this down, the vision shatters, it does make me sad a bit tho. but, i remember that i felt happy when i play with him.

he's a physicist, he does research of many physic stuffs and i think it is super cool. he has knowledge of physics, maths, astronomical things i couldn't even understand but he does. having a genius cousin really does make me proud.

but, a genius person is indeed not for everyone.

we had a similar background. we lived in a small village in java. his childhood house was only one house away from mine. however, his family is more complicated than mine (mine is complicated enough for me to process, so, yeah, i cannot imagine how does it really feel to him and its effect on his psychological aspects). came from conservative javanese family is never easy for me, i guess it goes the same way for him.

one day, few years ago, he was busy with his research, so on a long public holiday event he couldn't come home. i came to our childhood village, at that time i was in college and my major didn't require any specific research like his major, so i had to came to the village (tbh i get really stressed out when i should come there until now), and got shocked with our big family responses: they thought he was joining a cult so he didn't come home on this traditional public holiday. I WAS LIKE??? HAH??? HOW??? COULD??? THE FAMILIES HAD A THOUGHT LIKE THAT??? A CULT??? WTF...

well, came from unsupportive families hurt us more than we thought.

the next few years, i heard that he got an offering to go to germany to continue his study. however, his family financial condition wasn't sufficient to support that. on this point, i always get suspicious about financial issues to my whole families especially from that village since in my experience, i had a similar issue: i wanted to go to a private top tier uni, my own family has the financial resource, they have five houses, but they didn't wanna sell it to support my education. however, when it comes about marriage, they said, "you can sell some of the houses to move somewhere to build your own family". i really hate that shit. i want better education as it is obviously their responsibility as parents, but they only think about marriage and have kids, and it goes harder since i'm a female, burdened with those patriachal shitty stuffs.

luckily he's a male, but unluckily he's too genius for the whole families—or better stated as the families are just meh.

back to the financial topic, i know the big families has some lands. huge question: why didn't they think to trade it with education for their kids? but i bet they will gladly sell it if the purpose is to go to policy/military school and marriage-have kids stuff. sigh.

also, one miserable irony: our ancestors are educator. most of boomer/gen x in our families are educator.

another question pops up in my mind: are you guys became the educator because you really wanna educate people or it's just for 'educator-employed by government' title to feed your egos and only for the sake of pride and social status?

if it did, y'all greedy and had no difference with those some shitty public official workers here (we all know how bad they are).

suprisingly, few years after that, he became one of a successful research team that made a very useful machine for healthcare purposes with high urgency level. he was on tv/social media for a news report about it. everyone in the families talked about it. EVERYONE. IN. THE. FAMILIES. DID. A. LIP. SERVICE. ABOUT. IT.

seriously guys, you cannot appreciate a process of someone/something that much, huh? you guys only oriented to the result and for me that's a fatal way of thinking about someone/something.

do you guys forget few years ago you all accused him of joining a cult just because he couln't come to the village on a traditional holiday? LMAO.

a few days ago, i got an information from my family that he's now in the village, doing some research about solar power (yes, that's why i gave him 'surya' as his nickname here). bad thing is, my family questioned him, "why is he doing the research instead of accept the offering from his lecturer to be a lecturer too?" I WAS LIKE??? kenaposka indang meine Familie kann nicht visionärer denken??? gregegegetagan guguege jagadiginyaga bagahagasaganyaga cagampugur. sorry for mixed with alien's language but the point is i cannot process why are they so judgemental, very narrow-minded?

i'm tired of this shit guys. really, really tired i just wanna be a tree sometimes.

this heated my brain up, triggered everything i write down now. curiousity came to my mind about him, so i stalked him on the internet. found his research pages, his old blog, and his close friend—very heartwarming to read that she wrote down his name on her thesis' introduction page as her supportive person & always curious to science.

and she went to germany.

my heart shatters a bit.

mas surya, i think i 75% know how bad your thoughts of your condition and your feeling of yourself. i can relate.

i don't know how to reach you for now. also, i know the chance of you will read this is near zero. but, i will come to that village next month on (traumatic) long-traditional public holiday this year. i hope i could meet you and i wish i could be your ear. after all these relatable things that i only get the informations from 3rd/4th/5th pov, i really wanna hear anything from you directly. i will listen if you are comfortable to tell me about it.

pardon me for the grammar error, i'm still learning english since i'm not a native speaker and please feel free to correct, i'd appreciate it. the purpose i write this down in english is to filter the audience segmentation (read: way safer from the families' reach).

thank you,

Danke schön,

xx

[con-maestoso]

1. introduction

welcome! it's always pleasant for me to find new little pieces of something good in life. i go by the name ryona faith elvaretta, and known as ryn, ryona, or retta for short. i'm an aquarian with feminine pronouns and infj-t as my mbti according to many tests i took including the kersey one because i wasn't sure about myself. yet, all that tests shows the same result. i'm a struggling english literature student and a violinist who loooves to romanticize my life as a main character (pardon because it's my stress mechanism and i'm just a girl). i'm a sentimental and mainly shows my emotions through words. you can also find me on my medium page to read my writing archieves.

2. love-list

she loves to write, read (unless i'm tired of my college reading list), pink, sweet foods, coquette, dollette, vintage, regency femme fatale, old money aesthetic, beauty, 2000s movies, soft stuffs, and apparently i'm claiming myself as a lost twin of cher horowitz.

i grow up with classical music as my basic genre in my musical journey, so i enjoy many masterpieces from bach (there's always a bach soul in every string kiddos' life) shostakovich, tchaikovsky, liszt, rachmaninoff, mozart, chopin, beethoven, schumann, vivaldi, brahms, and contemporary/modern composers and musicians such as joe hisaishi, alan menken, benj pasek, john debney, indra lesmana, erwin gutawa, singgih sanjaya, purwacaraka, laleilmanino, and many more.

but don't worry, your girl is just a typical gen-z that loves to listen to pop, r&b, city pop, and kpop. as an english literature student, i'm a self-proclaim taylor swift's daughter. i'm a casual listener of laufey, kla project, hivi!, raveena, kali uchis, baek yerin, iu, and many kpop groups, but i mainly set my eyes on wjsn, seventeen, monsta x, nmixx, fromis_9, aespa, ive, red velvet, treasure, enhypen, stayc, blackpink, the boyz, kiss of life, oh, i'm still crying over wanna one, one direction, iz*one, and gfriend (who doesn't, right?)

simple thing easily makes me happy, like surfing on my music platform, exploring, and suddenly finding a very good music from a musician that i never heard before. it feels like finding a hidden treasure for me. hence, you can visit my spotify page, or maybe we can also be mutuals there? i would love to! ♡

3. notes

this account is merely a digital diary of me and i often throwing some tmi, show you what i eat and what i'm crying over (mostly about my college life and my shitty days as a violinist in my college orchestra club), and i do sometimes spitting harsh words and mild nsfw here so if you're simply uncomfortable with that please step back from this account, okay?

lastly, i enjoy talking and being the kindest human being as possible to my precious ones here even though my social battery is often running out so fast. so, please do not interact with me if you're hateful, ignorant, zionist or zionist enabler, being disrespectful, and a 02 voter. and since your girl is not a saint, please do remind me through direct message if i do something wrong, i will be very thankful.

let's live a life positively, stay healthy, well-educated, and adorable, everyone. thank you for reading my brief page! ♡

[starmocha]

I BEG YOUR PARDON THIS IS SO CUTE!!! Thank you for the tag @rose-tinted-kalopsia 💖💖💖💖💖

My name's Xíu~ 💖 but you can also use my handle, starmocha or Star, I don't mind whichever 🥹

���彡 how do you spend your free time?

UNPRODUCTIVELY LMAO but I do get stressed about having limited free time and wanting to do as much as possible and then worried I won't do anything and have wasted precious time :')

☆彡 what are your hobbies and how did you get into them?

Writing~ I've always loved creating stories as a child and I guess once I learned how to write, I was fortunate enough to have teachers from elementary school all the way to college who encouraged that interest. I have no inclination or ambition to ever pursue it professionally. I just like writing for me. <333

I also like video games, reading, movies...basically anything that can let me escape from reality lol 🥹🥹🥹

☆彡 what book or movie left a lasting impression on you?

For a book, it's The Giver by Lois Lowry. I first read it when I was about 11 or 12. I found it on my sixth grade's teacher bookshelf and I don't remember why I was drawn to the book, but I know I've read it more than anything else. It took me a few years to finally obtain a copy only for someone to stole it out of my school bag and I was pissed. After like over a decade, I actually just recently bought a new copy after so long, and it comes with other books in this "series". The reason I like it is because as a child I found the protagonist relatable, but I couldn't understand why until one day when I was 16 while I was in a counseling session with a priest where I grew so emotional and angry about my family, he pointed out I was an empath and how I was able to feel emotions stronger than others, but it also meant I was able to feel compassion more easily than others. There is a similar scene in the book where the protagonist also experiences intense emotions only to be calmed down by his mentor.

For a movie, The Fall, starring Lee Pace. It is sooo underrated, which is such a travesty! Lee Pace is my favorite actor and this is one of his best roles ever. The movie has gorgeous scenery and costumes as well.

In the film, he stars as a stunt actor who was recently injured and is now facing the possibility of giving up his career that he loves. As he recovers in a hospital, a little girl befriends him. The film interweaves storytelling, so you have this beautiful fantasy subplot as the main character creates a story for the girl. It is whimsical, romantic, and adventurous. Near the end, though, he starts having a breakdown and in one of the most heartbreaking scenes ever, he starts killing off the characters in his story. The little girl asks him tearfully why he's killing everyone, and he answers her spitefully that, "It's my story."

Only for the little girl to tearfully answer him: "Mine, too." </3333

I also want to give a mention to Train to Busan. It easily ties with The Fall as my favorite films. Gong Yoo is so amazing in this. You think you're getting a thrilling zombie survival movie, but by the end you are devastated and emotionally ruined by it. It is soooo good. I highly recommend both films.

☆彡 what kind of music do you enjoy?

Nearly everything really lol Sometimes it's K-Pop, EDM, indie, classical, R&B, Europop...just whatever mood I happen to be in. :)))

☆彡 who is your favorite character (atm or all time) and why?

... Sylus (Love and Deepspace). 🥹 I'll be honest. I knew I was going to like his character...I just did not expect it to be to this degree lol He is just a very well-developed character. A lot of his opinions on life and people are very deep and insightful, which you wouldn't expect often from fictional characters. I also like his sense of humor, his mannerism, and odd habits (seriously, what is with his crow obsession - devs, give me the lores now). And with his recent myth release, I am absolutely destroyed by his story. I'm still trying to piece my heart back together. ily my silly soft dragon <333

No pressure, but tagging @lavlynyan @irandial @yourlocalcatscammer @nerdyladyrebel @an-ever-angry-bi + anyone who wants to join 💖💖💖💖💖

tag + q&a game ₊˚ෆ

hello! i thought it would be cute and exciting to do a tag game with all my mutuals to not only talk about themselves, but have fun! so here is my short little game:

alongside this picrew, share 5 things about yourself!

• how do you spend your free time? • what are your hobbies and how did you get into them? • what book or movie left a lasting impression on you? • what kind of music do you enjoy? • who is your favorite character (atm or all time) and why?

i will start first!

my name is rurumi and i enjoy spending my free time writing!

some of my hobbies (outside of writing) includes: drawing, building gundams and keyboards, and fashion! i got into most of them on a whim and became instantly hooked. aside from self-expression, being into fashion also helps with making friends in college because you always have something to talk about!

a book that left a lasting impression on me would have to be either kafka on the shore by haruki murakami or before the coffee gets cold by toshikazu kawaguchi. both stories have kept me up at night thinking a lot about the 'what ifs' in life.

i enjoy soul/r&b alongside anything of jrock influence, but i will basically listen to anything that sounds good. i am currently listening to 'so what' by lucy!

my favorite character at the moment is rin itoshi from blue lock because hes so ridiculously edgy, but at the same time i sympathize with him a lot. on the other hand, my favorite character of all time is suletta mecury from the witch from mercury series, she's an absolute ball of sunshine that i aspire to be.

tagging (+ no pressure) ₊˚ෆ

@kaiser1ns @naenaex0xx @shomatoriashi @choccorin @ryescapades

@rindreamery @soleillunne @kissxcore @rainswept @mitsvriii

[mymainwastoocluttered]

Crowley is the type of asshole to make a questionnaire with answers you cannot find in the textbook, but he swears it's part of what we're learning, trust him bro–

[neko-nemesis]

𝙎𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙩 𝙗𝙖𝙗𝙮~

𝙆𝙖𝙚𝙙𝙚𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖 𝙠𝙖𝙯𝙪𝙝𝙖 𝙭 𝙖𝙛𝙖𝙗 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

Warnings: explicit sexual content ahead (MDI)[minors do not interact, you will be blocked]

Synopsis: smoker!Kazuha trying to quit smoking, eating artificial sweet lollipops to go through his withdrawal symptoms, resulting into craving something else, which is much sweeter.

C.w: smoker!Kazuha so mentions of smoking is mentioned alot, mention of weed and e-cigs too, twisted use of Lollipop (lmao you'll see), Oral (reader receiving), slight mentions of fingering, arguments mentioned, slight angst(?), Lmk if I missed anything <3

Unedited, pardon me for the mistakes, I'll proof read it later on </3

(Writer notes will be at the end)

Taglist || Genshin Masterlist

♡ 𝙉𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙨, 𝙧𝙚𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙜𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙝𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙡𝙮 𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙 ♡

Kazuha...had a little problem. Well it's no longer "little" per se, rather it was becoming something close to addiction. That being, smoking. College can be stressful and being a music major was getting to him. He found a release from the overwhelming stress from smoking, whether it was weed, e-cig or the classic tobacco packs.

Not to mention, living together was becoming hectic, boxes littered between the couch cushions, on the bedside table, in the cabinet of the bathroom, it was like a weird trip of treasure hunt for you. If you look carefully in the nook and crannies, you may just find your dear boyfriend's "release".

Having a proper talk with him and some words back and forth, even a little misunderstanding argument one or two here and there later, Kazuha made up his mind to quit it. It is not easy, infact he felt gloomy but what soured his mood more is the sudden distance between the two of you. This dumb "release" sure was taking a toll on you and the relationship between the two of you and he cursed himself for noticing it so late.

Now though, despite not having said a word to your partner in a while, the sudden smell of strong artificial strawberries and fruits hit you in the face when you came back home from your classes and part time job. noticing a crystal hollow bowl on the counter tables, filled with random lollies and candies. You connect the dots that the culprit of so many candies being none other than your boyfriend, he's trying to quit, you figured. But you were upset from the fight few days prior,

You only ever wished the best but got shut down.

"Y/n, you don't understand! It just helps me calm down, is that so bad?"

"'zuha, it's bad for you, babe." You gritted your teeth, "I'm only looking out for you!"

He scoffs, running his hand through his platinum blonde hair in a rough manner to control his building up frustration but he was failing at it. His soft vermillion eyes were long gone, the man you loved now looked at you with nothing but irritation painted oh so clearly in his eyes.

"Oh? That's very sweet of you but I didn't asked for your concerns now have I?"

You shake your head, trying to gain back composure, now it's not the time to dwell on the past that has gone by, even if it hurts. So you decided to remain distant to get over the whole thing and be normal.

Getting ready for bed, you notice the absence of your boyfriend, you begin to miss him, quite alot honestly. Familiar key juggling sounds brought you back to reality from the heart aching silence of your shared house and only when you creeped out of your room to see your boyfriend, you see kazuha getting in the apartment, quietly as possible.

You clear your throat, to which he yelps, dropping the loose plastic bag of goodies. "oh- it's you." He breathes, his lips curving up into a small smile, to which you awkwardly nodded at, he bents down to quickly snatch up the bag he carelessly let go off while being caught off guard as you shifted from toe to toe, uncomfortable and not knowing how to approach him. Being observant, he immediately noticed your demeanor towards him and felt his heart squeeze until it ached a bit. He wasnt liking the awkward air around the two of you, a total contrast to how you two usually are towards each other; carefree, comfortable and mostly, affectionate, really really affectionate. "Sooo.. uh" he lets out a dry laugh, "I was um- out, for uh you know for some-"

"to smoke?" You ask plainly, leaning against the door frame of your shared bedroom.

"huh? Oh, god no." He giggles sheepishly, "for these" he quickly rummaged through the plastic bag to pull out the intact pack of the familiar sweet scented lollipops you smelled when coming in the apartment. "Oh." You say, now scratching your arm, something you do when you're in an awkward position.

"yeahh, 'oh.'" kazuha grins, mocking you to clear up the air. His hands making quick work on the packets as he shoved one of the sweets in his mouth.

"what's the deal with you and all these candies?" You ask, walking closer to the counter he stood by, "to stop my cravings for a smoke, you know?" He gives a lopsided smile as he continues to suck on the lollipops.

"Oh and since tomorrow is a weekend, I was thinking we should watch a movie."

"Oh..movie?"

"mhmm", he smiles sweetly, "It's your turn to pick something, love." You hate how weak you are for him as you failed to stay cooped up in the room and let his hands guide yours to the couch, unable to say no.

Well, I guess a movie won't hurt. You think.

xxx

Well I guess you thought wrong. 15 minutes in, you sat beside him rather than on his lap like usual and awkwardly watched the movie, hardly paying any attention. There was no usual discussing between the two of you would have in the middle of watching movies or TV, others may get annoyed with this but you two loved to share feedbacks and talk about each fucking frame with one other, knowing each other's different opinions mattered to you both deeply but tonight there was none of that and it was becoming unbearable for Kazuha.

But then, he had a thought . He smirked to himself over it as he side-glances to see you trying to focus on what's going on in the movie. He was already cursing to himself seeing your lips puckered up slightly into a pout, trying your best to concentrate as you stayed leaning forward, your tank top leaving little to nothing to the imagination as your breasts almost were spilling out of the flimsy stretched out top.

"My love?"

"Huh?" As if pulled out of some trance, you look at him slightly, overdramatically Kazuha pouts, "This lollipop isn't sweet enough."

You frown, "I can smell it from here, I'm pretty sure it's too sweet infact from the artificial sweeteners, you know." You look at him as if he grew a third limb.

He throws his head back and let out a chuckle, finding it very amusing. To which you look away, the lazily tied up hair along with his comfy pajamas and the glazing bright light from the TV screen made Kazuha look irresistible and you didn't wish to be distracted now.

"I'm serious! C'mon, taste it for me"

"I-" before you could've finished your word, your boyfriend shoved the candy in your mouth, suddenly he was close, too close, too close to your face. His half lidded eyes looked at your wide ones and you realize the candy in your mouth was in his a second ago. "C'mon, suck." His 180° demeanor caught you off guard, you feel his hands brushing on your sides as he makes quick moves around you to cage you in on the uncomfortably small couch, unable to escape like a defenseless bunny infront of a predator. Without questioning though, you oblige, falling in the spiral abyss of his blown out eyes, the dilation almost turned his eyes black.

You suck, you suck it good enough for him as you dared not to break the intense eye contact.

"it's not sweet enough, right baby?"

Liar. It was sickly sweet or maybe it was just him.

Maybe it was just him, too sweet against your tongue as you now greedy suckle the piece of red candy, making your boyfriend let out a pleased hum.

"Its- too sweeth-" you talk, barely forming the sentence right as you licked the candy your boyfriend held against your mouth.

"too sweet?" He coos, pulling back his hand, removing the lollipop out of your mouth with a pop and proceeding to put it back in his mouth lazily to "confirm". He grins down at you, "now it's sweet." He inches closer, "now it's better." He groans, Taking out the stick only to crash his lips against yours. Red tinted lips from the candy now sucked on your bottom lip as his kisses grew rougher by each minute. You whine against his mouth, thoughts of staying away thrown at the back of your mind as you burned for more.

Pulling away, a string of saliva keep you both connected, "I know what can make this taste the sweetest" "what can-"

You gasp, slender fingers rubbed hard against the embarrassingly soaked spot on your pj shorts, grinding your hips to meet his hand and feel just a little more friction. "This-" the tip of his fingers penetrates you a little even with the shorts on and rubbed your folds all nice and right, "this pussy can make anything the sweetest, isn't that right my baby?" He teases,

"Stop- that's gross-" gross? It was downright nasty but that's what turned you both on. your words die down your throat as his hands make quick work against your shorts and lifts your supple thighs up on his shoulders as he bents down, impatiently pulling down the shorts, "oh, don't worry your pretty head, you just have to take it" he mutters as sweats made the baby hairs stick on his forehead, somehow making him look unimaginably attractive and his hot breathe fanned against your cunt, making you throb and feel light headed from the anticipation.

"You know I clean my mess up everytime right, baby?" He plants wet kisses and makes a trial from your thighs upto your clit. Savoring the wetness coating his lips and chin. Fuck, you were soaked. There's nothing Kazuha wouldn't do to dip his head down and cut the chase, eat you up until you're cumming nothing on his tongue but he had to be patient.

A little more.

"gimme the candy, sweet girl" he teases, you scowl and you lazily pass the lollipop to him as he kisses your clit again as a thank you and then shoving the candy back in his mouth to make it wet enough this time rather than taste it, afterall he has better things to savor against his tongue. "I need to taste you, okay love? Only you can make this sweeter for me" he slurs his words out, never looking up anymore and as if he's under a spell as his eyes flutters, without doing nothing to you as of yet but being beyond pussy drunk. two of his fingers spreads your lips and the moment the sticky ball makes contact with your slick, you whimper.

"kazuhaa" you whine, "you must've -lost your m-mind"

"maybe" he smirks, fastening the pace he had on the lollipop against your clit, the sudden speed of the ball of candy getting dragged had you embarrassingly more wet.

"Now for the taste~" he mumbles as he now slowly tries to penetrate you with the fucking lollipop. The look on your boyfriend face was nothing but just amusement and dark lust, seeing how your cunt even sucks up and swallows even the ball of candy inside with ease. Your eyes drifted below once again to see what has to be one of the most sinful sight. Your boyfriend with his hair messy, mouth agaped slightly and you could swear you're seeing him with hearts in his eyes and drool almost at the sight of his fingers pushing the stick of candy in and out of you slightly. His mouth waters up even further until he couldn't take it anymore.

"fuck this" he pants, throwing off the candy god knows where and pulling and squeezing your thighs as he nested his head in-between. Messily sucking and licking up all your nectar, the hint of the candy flavor was very clear against his tongue but mixed with the slight earthy taste of you truly made it much sweeter for his taste. You thrash and arch your back against his strong hold on your waist and hips made your efforts to be set free down the drain as he continues to savor and greedily taste up everything while plunging his long fingers inside now, adding more pleasure. Often muttering praises and teasing remarks of how much you're enjoying this. His one hand soon slide down to pull his cock out and jerk off to the incredibly erotic scene of you.

Crazy hair, blown out eyes, flushed cute face and your tits popping out of your shirt as you squeezed onto them while he ate you out and drank every drop of cum out of you.

Don't be mistaken, he's not done. With his new found discovery of how you are so much sweeter than any candy, it's a doubt if he's even pulling his tongue out of you tonight. You won't stop him now though, will you? You wanted him to quit right?

So be a good girl and give every drop of your sweet cum to your greedy boyfriend.

𝘼.𝙉: 𝘼𝙃𝙃𝙃𝙃 𝙞 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙞 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙞 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙤𝙣𝙚, 𝙥𝙨𝙨𝙩𝙩 𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙣. 𝙆𝙖𝙯𝙪𝙝𝙖 𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙮 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙖 𝙜𝙧𝙞𝙥 𝙤𝙣 𝙢𝙚 𝙄 𝙨𝙬𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙩𝙤 𝙜𝙤𝙙. 𝙏𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄'𝙫𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙞𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙘𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩, 𝙞 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙𝙣𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙥 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙤𝙪𝙩.𝙨𝙟𝙝𝙙𝙟𝙙𝙟𝙙𝙟𝙙𝙟𝙙𝙟 𝙃𝙊𝙋𝙀 𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝘽𝘼𝘽𝙄𝙀𝙎 𝙀𝙉𝙅𝙊𝙔𝙀𝘿 𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙎. 𝙆𝘼𝙕𝙐𝙃𝘼 𝙎𝙄𝙈𝙋𝙎, 𝙄 𝙃𝙊𝙋𝙀 𝙄 𝙁𝙀𝘿 𝙔𝘼𝙇𝙇 𝙂𝙊𝙊𝘿, 𝙄𝙁 𝙉𝙊𝙏, 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙞𝙙𝙠 𝙨𝙣𝙖𝙥 𝙢𝙮 𝙣𝙚𝙘𝙠 𝙤𝙛𝙛🧍🏽‍♀.

Taglist: @frenchtoaf @Liang_lee @svgar-slvt @aliceesblog @dazaiscum @euphoricn @nejibot @iwaizumi-chan @mee9 @kenmasimplol

(highlighted tags are blogs I couldn't tag

Want to get tagged everytime I post?

© 𝐍𝐞𝐤𝐨-𝐍𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐬 𝖽𝗈 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗋𝖾𝗉𝗈𝗌𝗍 𝗈𝗋 𝗉𝗅𝖺𝗀𝗂𝖺𝗋𝗂𝗓𝖾.

[xiaq]

(this can be answered publicly) Hey X, pardon me if you’ve answered this before, but I was just curious on how you ended up transitioning from academia to tech and what role you started with in tech? Also, so you have any advice for someone looking to break into tech from a non-STEM background? Thank you!

Hey! I haven't answered it publicly but it's a popular question, so I will now (warning, long answer is long).

So I was so fed up with academia for sundry reasons I won't get into here but I wanted a career that would allow me to A. retire some day (something that paid generally well), B. would allow me some measure of work/life balance without high stress, and C. Would ideally let me use my communication/writing/speaking/presenting skills in some way.

My parents and my partner all work in tech and were like, "did you know that we desperately need people with your skillsets in the tech world?" and my partner, who works in technical sales was like, "You would kill at my job, I am not lying." And I was like, every job listing in technical sales that I see requires either a degree I don't have or past experience I don't have, or both, and my mother was like "Do you know how many mediocre resumes from unqualified men come across my desk? Apply for the damn positions anyway." So I reworked my resume to focus on applicable skills/experiences and wrote a cover letter for each position I applied to saying "hey, I know I'm an odd candidate but let me tell you why that's a good thing." And I got a lot of positive responses!

I was interviewing at 2 different tech places when I accepted the offer for my job now. I had an initial screening call interview with HR, then a zoom interview with the hiring manager, and then I was given access to a limited demo environment and had a week to teach myself the software and put together a demo for a fake customer which I did for the hiring manager (my future boss), one of my current peers, and the VP of the org. I was offered the job the same night I did my fake demo. So in total it was a 2 week interview process, and I started working 2 weeks later. **

I'm a pre-sales solutions consultant, which basically means I'm paired with a sales guy who does all the money and business value talk with customers, while I get to learn about a customer's data problems and then demo for them how our products can address those problems.

The learning curve was (and still is) steep. But it was basically like going back to school, and I've always loved learning new things. The job is super fun. It fulfills all of my wants I listed above with the added bonus of being completely remote (aside from occasional travel to meet with customers for in-person demos). The people I work with are supportive, management is communicative and constantly giving me feedback/talking about my trajectory. I've won internal awards, already received two raises and one promotion and I haven't even been there a year. I'm making more than double what I did as a professor and the concept of retirement doesn't feel like a laughable pipe dream anymore. I miss teaching a lot, but I'm healthier, happier, and better prepared for the future now. And my work is genuinely fulfiling because I'm showing people how they can fix problems. Also, playing with data management software and putting together custom demos is neat. It's like all the best parts of a college project--research, making a preso, knocking everyone's socks off while giving the preso, but I'm getting paid for it. I'm glad I followed my mom's advice.

So I guess my advice is the same as hers: even if you're not "qualified," apply for the position anyway. Make custom cover letters for each position and if there's not a way to include the letter with the app, do some googling and find the hiring manager on LinkedIn and message/email them. The person who hired me said that my cover letter was what got me the initial interview. So that shit works. If you have friends or family working somewhere with open positions, use those connections. Having an internal referral will go a long way to getting your resume looked at. I know we're all like, boo nepo babies, but networking is a huge part of any industry. Use it to your advantage if you have the advantage (no, I'm not working for my parent's companies, but if there'd been an open position I was interested in, I would have applied for it. No shame).

**I also, on the side, applied for the Austin Fire Department because why not. After a whole lot of mental and physical prep, I was accepted to the academy (in the first class, no less, holla) right before I was offered my current job. But I had to be realistic and say that probably wasn't a good long-term career option for someone who is 110lbs and was barely meeting the physical testing requirements who also has issues with getting overwhelmed in high-input sensory situations. So. Into the tech world I went. This side note just to say, I was keeping my options very open and there's nothing wrong with that either, lol.

I hope this helps!

[ericaportfolio]

I was wondering if you could tell me more abour your Hello Puppets universe

Pardon me, this post is going to be a long one. Surprise, I was inspired by reading fanfics online from the completed and the incomplete. I made the characters for everyone to use for their fanfics, and it blossomed from there. I like the idea of a bunch of college students who are the last people we think would save the world from a bunch of murderous puppets about to start a puppet zombie apocalypse and the need for a happy Scout for once. I even have some drawing ideas for possible scenarios of what can go down in the story if Host (or I call him Adam from the fanfic by Vast_Horizon, Stitches) and Scout both survived the original game. However, like in Dracula, after escaping the nightmare, in this case, Handeemen HQ, the horrors follows the characters home endangering everyone they know, love, and meet. Hey, Actions have Consequences!!! Despite not fully Adam and Scout's faults. So yeah, these character designs are free for everyone to use and to rename for their AUs as long I'm credited in the design part. This is each of the characters so far from the ones I made, characters from the games, and game trailers…

Adam: Our Average Joe, Adam, lived a decently normal life but wants to have some adventures, but didn't ask to become a 'volunteer host' for a puppet takeover. The reason Adam is in this mess, he included Mortimer's Handeemen at the number one spot in a top ten ideas for a drinking game in an article he wrote. It bit his hand eventually when Adam got sent for a last-minute Halloween article for the college paper. For us who played or watched both games, this didn't end well for Adam. I ironically made Host Adam similar to Owen with some differences. Like it was destiny for someone like Adam to come to the Handeemen HQ. Be free to create theories on how Owen and Adam (or your chosen name) are connected. Crazy coincidence that Mortimer took advantage of to get back to the old days messing with Owen, an unknown child/grandchild, lost relatives, etc. Go wild!!!

Cassandra: Cassandra, the editor who sent Adam in the first place. The opposite of Riley Ruckus where she happily says "More Data!", you hear Cassandra stress scream "More Deadlines!".

Scout Harper (Insert Last Name): Survivor of the Handeemen Fire turned college professor and loving mother of another college student, Eve, Adam meets in the sketch comic I made. However, her world shatters again when Adam introduces the puppet, Scout.

Eve: Scout Harper's daughter who once loved the Mortimer's Handeemen TV show, until Adam got kidnapped by them. Yes, I named Eve after the story of Adam and Eve and Paradise Lost.

Jeff: The unknown guy with anger issues from the TV interview in the Midnight Show’s Announcement Trailer claiming the puppets caused the fire that I just named him Jeff. I made Jeff a gas station owner who warns anyone not to be out alone at night or never be near the former HQ to anyone who listens. Adam should of listen to him.

I also made three other students who are friends with Adam. If in the Stitches fanfic as an example, they could be Tyler, Stacy (who was also inspired by the fanfic Outside by CreativeSkull), and June. However, be free to rename them in your stories if you wish. If anyone has something in mind for a quick request of these characters in your AUs, be free to ask me anytime as long it follows my ask rules.

Special thanks to Zen at @a-vast-horizon for letting me use the names from his fanfic (Adam and Cassandra).

And reference credit to CreativeSkull: https://creativeskull95.tumblr.com/

[theyarebothgunshot]

Hey, I'm a bit late so pardon if I am missing out on something ^^ This is also a pretty negative ask, sorry. I'm also a college student and my anxiety has clearly gone out of the roof during the pandemic. I started my master this year and it is just. So much. Like everyone is super professional and I am that weirdo that doesn't really fit in. And now we have to do an internship but I just... can't get myself over to mail anyone and ask. My study is dealing with the art industries so to say (1/3)

part 2 & 3 under the cut!

and every lesson is basically about how hard it is to find a job, how important it is to gain practical experience, how you have to network and sell yourself. I can do arts and write essays, but as soon as I have to do bureaucracy or talk to people I am so lost. I just have the feeling I don't know how to adult. I mean, I'm around mid-twenty (also have been studying since 2015 now) but still. And now with the pandemic - what happened to me is that because of the arts sector, everything has (2/3)

become more strict. The whole entertainment/creative industry broke down, many people lost their jobs. And now I'm hearing: 'NOW is the time to network! If you're not doing it then you're too late!' but I just can't bring myself over and talk to people. It really stresses me out. I'm sorry. I just wish I could life somewhere and could do art commissions for a living. I hope this ask is okay. It is very personal. I have no idea what to do, except overcome the anxiety? But how :/ (3/3) - anon anon

hi nonnie, i'm sorry you're going through it like this. i can totally understand the overwhelming feeling of anxiety when you know you Have to do something but you just Can't get yourself to do it. is there anybody in your year that you can talk to? anybody you trust? someone you can maybe share your fears with and who might give you some advice or lend a helping hand? in my experience, sharing this kind of thing with someone can really help. even if it is just to hear that someone else is going through the same shit.

i know it's different for everybody, but whenever i have to do something and can't get myself to do it, i try to think to myself: what is the worst the could happen if i don't do it? and what is the worst that can happen if i do it? and it helps me to think a bit more clearly whenever i am overwhelmed. idk if this helps at all, but i hope so <3