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himiribashira · 1 year ago

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Too serious~*

Gen:slight angst,fluff

Summary:You-Y/N being best friend with the famous,handsome,stoic guy Ushijima Wakatoshi for who-knows-how-long and falling in love with him.

Warn:confession,rejected?,stressful

You told Wakatoshi, "Your form was wonderful today."

"I'm grateful Y/N. You did a good job helping Goshiko.”

You grinned to yourself when you heard his words of support.

For over two years, you were the Shiratorizawa volleyball team's manager. You had known for a few months that you liked Shiratorizawa's ace.

In fact, everyone on the team except for him appeared to be aware of this. To hide anything from the rest of them was a little difficult. Tendou also lacked any ability to maintain secrecy. When Ushijima was around, he frequently mocked you and made suggestions about your crush.

The ace himself didn't appear to notice, so you didn't express your emotions. The best you were able to do was praise him or encourage him for his performance on that particular day.

However, time had passed and his third year was almost through. He was going to leave for college on a sports scholarship, and you may never know what might have happened.

You asked, "Wakatoshi?" He gave you a brief glimpse below.

you took the step to confront him.

“We've known each other for quite some time”, you said gently. He agreed with a nod. "Do you believe we could?"

You then made a fatal mistake of turning to face him.

You were frozen.

"... I apologize.” You hastily muttered, averting his stare at you, "You look so intense, I lost my way of thought," condemning yourself for backing down.

"Pardon me. I am aware that many find me frightening.”he said in a low soft voice.

“That's not the case! To be honest, I've always enjoyed your ferocity.” You made a small smile. “And it undoubtedly frightens our rivals.”

"They shouldn't try to challenge us if they're going to be scared off by looks alone." You gave a sombre nod.

You made an effort to speak out and acknowledge your feelings once more as you made your way home in quiet. If you didn't do it right away—

You were stopped when you felt his hand on your shoulder. Your breath caught, and you looked up to see him closely observing you.

What was he doing now?

“You were going to cross the street because you were so preoccupied,”he stated.

When you blinked your eyes, you discovered that you were in fact at a crosswalk and that it was plainly not your turn to move onto the street. You exhaled deeply.

When the light changed, he removed his hand from your shoulder. "Take more care."

He moved ahead a short distance. While you were conscious that you could let him go, you briefly observed him. However, if you did, you would never hear back. You would not be aware. Furthermore, you could never pretend to be serious about him.

"Wakatoshi, hold on." You grabbed his arm and yelled. He surprised you by turning to look at you.

“The light,Y/n—“

"That silly light is not important to me! OK, I like you. I was considering the best approach to tell you when I became sidetracked.”

He was dragged back to the sidewalk's safety by you. "I think you're great. how fervently you play volleyball. How effectively you inspire the team's remaining members with a few straightforward phrases. How honest you are, and how you never hold back when speaking your views.

Finally, he replied, "You are thinking about me a lot.”

“Do you often have me on your mind?”you ask tilting your head slightly

“I try not to--”

You sensed the icy terror of being rejected approaching.

“--because you distract me.”

“Wha-what was that?”you said,did you heard him right?or wrong?!

He groaned. "I become distracted by something about you. When I think of you, I move more awkwardly, but you also inspire me to sprint further, jump higher, and hit harder. I attempted to push the feelings away but was unsuccessful since I could never explain or understand it”. He moved a little. "Tendou actually suggested I confess, but I couldn't figure out how."

“Then perhaps this weekend we ought to go on a date,”you said.

"That'd be nice. But hold my hand first.”Without saying a word, you followed the instructions and put your hand in his. “I don't want you to feel any harm.”

The ace's cheeks were lightly dusted in pink, which you may have seen if you weren't busy internally freaking out about his confidence.

He really took his seriousness about you and everything else very seriously.

#fanfic #anime fanfic #haikyuu #hq ushijima #ushijima x reader #ushijima wakatoshi #ushijima fluff #haikyuu ushijima #ushijima x you #ushijima imagine #haikyuu wakatoshi #wakatoshi x reader #haikyuu tendou #wakatoshi fluff

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queenlilithprime · 6 months ago

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Business of Love - Cruel Notes (Pt. 5/8)

Gavin (He/They) x Lily (They/Them), Malik (He/Him), and Harper (He/Him)

A @campwillowpeakvn fanfic

Content Warnings: Kidnapping, Blackmail, Threats

Word Count: 885!

Gavin's hands shook as he read the letter scrawled in red ink. The police eventually confirmed it wasn't blood, but it still looked like it. It was shakily written, unconfident but definitely Lily's handwriting. Along the top half of the paper, there are tear stains. Not many but enough for them to be noticed and smudge some of the letters.

My belov-d Hyeon,

Please pardon my absence. My heart aches for you, but for your own safety I cann-t return home. I cannot return to you without putting you in d-nger.

There isn't much I c-n say about where I am. I am fed and shelt-red. I miss you.

Suddenly, the handwriting changes, far more messy and aggressive, less gentle than Lily's.

There is no way they'll ever return. Give up. I've already taken the ring.

Leave my lover. Never contact or seek them again.

Lilith is mine.

Gavin's heart sank through the floor each time he read it, looking over and over at every word, every detail to see if it was possible to discern where they are. Who has them. Everything in him ached for Lilith and he felt useless not being able to bring them home.

They were barely taking care of themself at this point, losing sleep and having to take time off work because they just... Can't handle it. Malik had been staying over because Hyeon couldn't handle the silence of the house. The lack of someone else there. Even if he wasn't Lily, knowing they weren't alone was a big relief.

"Hey, do you want me to order takeout again or...?" He asked quietly, not sure if his college buddy would respond. "Gavin...?"

Malik's eyes settled on the letter in their hands, gently plucking it from the shorter of the two. The blue-haired architect reached up to grab it but Malik raised it out of his reach.

"Nah dude, you need to stop stressing over it. The police already have the original, rereading the copy you have won't make Lily appear. Stop." He said, his expression softening as he saw Gavin's red eyes. "I know you're struggling with this, trust me I understand. I would fucking freak if I were in your shoes. Lily was my friend too Gav, I'm also really worried about them."

"No Malik you don't... I mean you do get it but there's things I can't tell you and there's a reason why Lily and I don't go on trips without each other and—" Gavin was starting to tear up, thinking about how difficult it must be for Lilith to be unsustained for so long. His words started to blur together as he spoke faster, "I physically need to be near Lily or else they—"

"Or else what, Gav?"

"Lily gets sick..." His voice broke as he barely got the words out. Malik didn't... particularly understand why Gavin was so sure that Lilith would get sick if they were far away from him but... His best friend was also extremely sure of this.

"Okay... I don't have a clue how that happens but..." He paused before sighing, "I believe you dude."

"I just... I need to see them, to make sure they're okay." They said, dropping their head. Malik rubbed their shoulders for a second before pulling them into a hug. The architect was a wreck without Lily and honestly their entire friend group was incredibly stressed.

They all knew Lilith was pretty but, they respected the fact that they were in a relationship with Gavin. So finding out that they were kidnapped was a huge shock. Especially when the letters started.

The first few were vague threats telling Gavin to keep away and stop searching for Lily.

Eventually they ramped up to death threats.

Then, the blackmail came.

It started with threats towards Gavin's family, saying that they'll be physically hurt unless he stops looking for Lily.

After that, there were letters in Lily's handwriting pleading for Gavin to stop but with the tear stains and the aggressive writing under it, the police told him that these were likely coerced.

Gavin was growing unsure of how to handle it all, unsure of how to bring Lily back.

The latest letter stung like a knife. They were getting vague and infrequent again. Did this mean they'd stop?

Would he eventually never hear about them again?

How... How did this happen?

Who is doing this?

It was breaking his heart.

...

There was a loud shattering of a window that jolted Gavin awake, a rock had flown through his bedroom window and nearly hit him.

Malik ran into the room in his PJs, looking towards the window then to Gavin. When he saw that Gavin was fine he ran to the broken panes to see if the person was still there.

It was too dark to make out much other than the dude was fucking massive. Something itched at the back of his brain, the guy was so familiar but so... Not? Like he was forgetting someone.

As Malik stared out the window and dialed the police, Gavin picked up the rock.

It had a note taped on it.

Tell the police to stop looking or I'll burn your house down. This is your final warning.

If you tell the police about this I'll do it tonight.

#✍️ - Lily Writes #🥀 - Lilith (THEY/THEM)#camp willowpeak #cwp fanfic #cwp hyeon #cwp harper #cwp gavin #oc x canon #self insert ship #camp willowpeak malik #cwp malik #camp willowpeak hyeon #camp willowpeak gavin #camp willowpeak harper

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xiaq · 2 years ago

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(this can be answered publicly) Hey X, pardon me if you’ve answered this before, but I was just curious on how you ended up transitioning from academia to tech and what role you started with in tech? Also, so you have any advice for someone looking to break into tech from a non-STEM background? Thank you!

Hey! I haven't answered it publicly but it's a popular question, so I will now (warning, long answer is long).

So I was so fed up with academia for sundry reasons I won't get into here but I wanted a career that would allow me to A. retire some day (something that paid generally well), B. would allow me some measure of work/life balance without high stress, and C. Would ideally let me use my communication/writing/speaking/presenting skills in some way.

My parents and my partner all work in tech and were like, "did you know that we desperately need people with your skillsets in the tech world?" and my partner, who works in technical sales was like, "You would kill at my job, I am not lying." And I was like, every job listing in technical sales that I see requires either a degree I don't have or past experience I don't have, or both, and my mother was like "Do you know how many mediocre resumes from unqualified men come across my desk? Apply for the damn positions anyway." So I reworked my resume to focus on applicable skills/experiences and wrote a cover letter for each position I applied to saying "hey, I know I'm an odd candidate but let me tell you why that's a good thing." And I got a lot of positive responses!

I was interviewing at 2 different tech places when I accepted the offer for my job now. I had an initial screening call interview with HR, then a zoom interview with the hiring manager, and then I was given access to a limited demo environment and had a week to teach myself the software and put together a demo for a fake customer which I did for the hiring manager (my future boss), one of my current peers, and the VP of the org. I was offered the job the same night I did my fake demo. So in total it was a 2 week interview process, and I started working 2 weeks later. **

I'm a pre-sales solutions consultant, which basically means I'm paired with a sales guy who does all the money and business value talk with customers, while I get to learn about a customer's data problems and then demo for them how our products can address those problems.

The learning curve was (and still is) steep. But it was basically like going back to school, and I've always loved learning new things. The job is super fun. It fulfills all of my wants I listed above with the added bonus of being completely remote (aside from occasional travel to meet with customers for in-person demos). The people I work with are supportive, management is communicative and constantly giving me feedback/talking about my trajectory. I've won internal awards, already received two raises and one promotion and I haven't even been there a year. I'm making more than double what I did as a professor and the concept of retirement doesn't feel like a laughable pipe dream anymore. I miss teaching a lot, but I'm healthier, happier, and better prepared for the future now. And my work is genuinely fulfiling because I'm showing people how they can fix problems. Also, playing with data management software and putting together custom demos is neat. It's like all the best parts of a college project--research, making a preso, knocking everyone's socks off while giving the preso, but I'm getting paid for it. I'm glad I followed my mom's advice.

So I guess my advice is the same as hers: even if you're not "qualified," apply for the position anyway. Make custom cover letters for each position and if there's not a way to include the letter with the app, do some googling and find the hiring manager on LinkedIn and message/email them. The person who hired me said that my cover letter was what got me the initial interview. So that shit works. If you have friends or family working somewhere with open positions, use those connections. Having an internal referral will go a long way to getting your resume looked at. I know we're all like, boo nepo babies, but networking is a huge part of any industry. Use it to your advantage if you have the advantage (no, I'm not working for my parent's companies, but if there'd been an open position I was interested in, I would have applied for it. No shame).

**I also, on the side, applied for the Austin Fire Department because why not. After a whole lot of mental and physical prep, I was accepted to the academy (in the first class, no less, holla) right before I was offered my current job. But I had to be realistic and say that probably wasn't a good long-term career option for someone who is 110lbs and was barely meeting the physical testing requirements who also has issues with getting overwhelmed in high-input sensory situations. So. Into the tech world I went. This side note just to say, I was keeping my options very open and there's nothing wrong with that either, lol.

I hope this helps!

#answered asks #tech world things #academia #tech #career things #x abandons her dream career so that she might retain a modicum of sanity #i don't remember using that tag but I love that it was suggested to me #because yes exactly #mylife

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big-chad69 · 9 months ago

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Some people need to accept how growing up wealthy is genuinely a fucking different approach to life/how you live outside of just "having money".

Like I've been stressing about transporting my computer overseas when I move for college because It took two years of savings to buy and I have a lotta important stuff on there- and my FATHER, who is the most senior tech expert for REDACTED COMPANY in the country, just looked me in the eye and went:

"Oh yeah well I can just pack it up for you and then register the box for one of our shipments to Holland (where I'll hopefully be moving, acceptance pending but lookin good) so you don't even have to pay for shipping."

FUCKING PARDON?? HOW THE F U C K IS THAT ACTUALLY AN OPTION AVAILABLE TO ME??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

Fellow rich people actually need to wake the fuck up, nothing, I repeat, NOTHING for you will ever be as hard as a poor person trying to do the same thing. We're not just well-connected, we're not just lucky, and we're not like everybody else. We got a golden ticket at birth and I don't wanna HEAR IT.

My example is small, but it made me think!!!

We have so many fuckin blessings that we take for granted- I never had to worry about food being on the table, was never scared that I would be homeless because I knew there would always be financial support at home, never had to ignore sickness or injury because I couldn't pay for a doctor, never worried about how I could afford my schoolbooks, clothes, or even shit like WiFi.

I'm not telling you to donate all your money to charity, or to pay for all your friends food, or tell you what the fuck to do with your money because that's your business- what I WILL tell you is that I'm not gonna listen to you deny the fact that you have wealth, cosplay poverty, and make your "eat the rich" crust punk pants in your pearly white living room. Welcome back to reality- we're privileged!

"But I'm-" Yeah yeah yeah whatever- I'm a trans narcissist, queer and neurodivergent, whatever you wanna call it- I can still recognise that money comes before all that shit. Accept that life comes easier to you, and stop fucking speaking over people who don't get as many damn chances as us. Goddamn.

#eat the rich #social commentary #Im being judgemental #but some people need to be

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ericaportfolio · 2 years ago

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I was wondering if you could tell me more abour your Hello Puppets universe

Pardon me, this post is going to be a long one. Surprise, I was inspired by reading fanfics online from the completed and the incomplete. I made the characters for everyone to use for their fanfics, and it blossomed from there. I like the idea of a bunch of college students who are the last people we think would save the world from a bunch of murderous puppets about to start a puppet zombie apocalypse and the need for a happy Scout for once. I even have some drawing ideas for possible scenarios of what can go down in the story if Host (or I call him Adam from the fanfic by Vast_Horizon, Stitches) and Scout both survived the original game. However, like in Dracula, after escaping the nightmare, in this case, Handeemen HQ, the horrors follows the characters home endangering everyone they know, love, and meet. Hey, Actions have Consequences!!! Despite not fully Adam and Scout's faults. So yeah, these character designs are free for everyone to use and to rename for their AUs as long I'm credited in the design part. This is each of the characters so far from the ones I made, characters from the games, and game trailers…

Adam: Our Average Joe, Adam, lived a decently normal life but wants to have some adventures, but didn't ask to become a 'volunteer host' for a puppet takeover. The reason Adam is in this mess, he included Mortimer's Handeemen at the number one spot in a top ten ideas for a drinking game in an article he wrote. It bit his hand eventually when Adam got sent for a last-minute Halloween article for the college paper. For us who played or watched both games, this didn't end well for Adam. I ironically made Host Adam similar to Owen with some differences. Like it was destiny for someone like Adam to come to the Handeemen HQ. Be free to create theories on how Owen and Adam (or your chosen name) are connected. Crazy coincidence that Mortimer took advantage of to get back to the old days messing with Owen, an unknown child/grandchild, lost relatives, etc. Go wild!!!

Cassandra: Cassandra, the editor who sent Adam in the first place. The opposite of Riley Ruckus where she happily says "More Data!", you hear Cassandra stress scream "More Deadlines!".

Scout Harper (Insert Last Name): Survivor of the Handeemen Fire turned college professor and loving mother of another college student, Eve, Adam meets in the sketch comic I made. However, her world shatters again when Adam introduces the puppet, Scout.

Eve: Scout Harper's daughter who once loved the Mortimer's Handeemen TV show, until Adam got kidnapped by them. Yes, I named Eve after the story of Adam and Eve and Paradise Lost.

Jeff: The unknown guy with anger issues from the TV interview in the Midnight Show’s Announcement Trailer claiming the puppets caused the fire that I just named him Jeff. I made Jeff a gas station owner who warns anyone not to be out alone at night or never be near the former HQ to anyone who listens. Adam should of listen to him.

I also made three other students who are friends with Adam. If in the Stitches fanfic as an example, they could be Tyler, Stacy (who was also inspired by the fanfic Outside by CreativeSkull), and June. However, be free to rename them in your stories if you wish. If anyone has something in mind for a quick request of these characters in your AUs, be free to ask me anytime as long it follows my ask rules.

Special thanks to Zen at @a-vast-horizon for letting me use the names from his fanfic (Adam and Cassandra).

And reference credit to CreativeSkull: https://creativeskull95.tumblr.com/

#ask me anything #hello puppets #hello puppets midnightshow #hello puppets au #hello puppets host #hello puppets editor #hello puppets harper #hello puppets ocs

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touhoutivations · 1 year ago

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i've been out of college for about 3 years due to pandemic-related reasons and i fear i won't be able to get productive as i used to be when i finally get back in -sincerely, an anonymous ghost

"Hhhyeah, I hear ya- in a whole buncha ways, the past few years have been pretty hard- even for people that have been able to chill through it...Everyone from Eientei to Makai's been feeling it- even that immortal doctor's been trying to tell us about the effects of stress, which Eiki's taken into consideration..."

"First off, I wanna give you props for wanting to dive back into studies, and making it this far! I mean it, even if it sounds super small to you, I know it's super easy to get bogged down and struggle with well- pardon my Latin- the shitshow. So I'm glad you wanna rise up!" "Buuut, while I think honest hardworkin' types have their charm, I think you gotta reframe your thinking a bit. I dunno if you're pursuing academia to be an ~astute and eloquent individual~ or if this is a piece of paper for you to get that coin- but I think 'productivity' is kinda overrated? Or at least, misunderstood. Liiike, think about it this way-

If I was hirin', I ain't just looking for the ghost with the best grades, or the fanciest little internship or working 5 different side hustles. Life's all about all sortsa experiences. A ghost that enjoys partyin' or writin' shows me that they got a passion for people, or even a ghost that's done the bare minimum and struggled shows me they've got grit and know how to take care of 'emselves. Hell, I respect the heck outta ghosties that can use things like accessibility or support services, bureaucracy sucks but it shows they're ready to advocate for 'emselves."

"But that doesn't really talk about the soul of the thing- you. You don't really have to be 'productive'. You're doing totally fine existing as you are, you're as valuable as anybody else. Even if it takes you a buncha time, even if you flounder or fail, you're still doing your best." "I know that when I started working, I was running myself ragged and going crazy to surpass demands, but as I learnt more about my job and myself, you figure things out. You rest and you find you don't have as many eyebags. You're 'lazy' and take meal breaks and eat fruit because y'can't be bothered cooking, but you're feeling better. You run late so you figure out little shortcuts and ways to be more efficient, and some days you even wanna go as hard as you can so you can lay on a hammock early! "All of it- rest, play, work- livin', that's what real productivity is."

"So while I get you're worried, that's totally okay! 'Cuz to me, if you scrape by with a C in everything- that's a pass, who cares about all the other details? And if you don't pass, you still learnt somethin', whether it's a lecture you enjoyed, or people you met or even 'wow that sucked'- it's all little growths that weave together to make one...uh, big ol' knowledge tree!"

"So get out there and get going! Or lie down and stay here, both are just as important, mmkay?"

#komachi onozuka #komachi touhou #touhoutivations #ask #mod yuyu #school #pandemic //#covid //#motivational #//ooc but if you are nd/disabled i really do recommend registering with accessibility as someone that it's really helped #//it can be a hassle and it can be confronting to shake off the 'i don't deserve this :(' but its there for a reason #//mod yuyu has adhd and had to use it for deadline stuff and having a failsafe is just. really helpful in burnout cases #//i believe it you anon!#also wow first ask!!! thank you so much!!! im sorry it took a while bajehbfkjrf

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con-maestoso · 7 months ago

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1. introduction

welcome! it's always pleasant for me to find new little pieces of something good in life. i go by the name shevia rosette, and known as shevia, shevy, or via for short. i'm an aquarian with feminine pronouns and infj-t as my mbti according to many tests i took including the kersey one because i wasn't sure about myself. yet, all that tests shows the same result. i'm a struggling english literature student and a violinist who loooves to romanticize my life as a main character (pardon because it's my stress mechanism and i'm just a girl). i'm a sentimental and mainly shows my emotions through words. you can also find me on my medium page to read my writing archieves.

2. love-list

she loves to write, read (unless i'm tired of my college reading list), pink, sweet foods, coquette, dollette, vintage, regency femme fatale, old money aesthetic, beauty, 2000s movies, soft stuffs, and apparently i'm claiming myself as a lost twin of cher horowitz.

i grow up with classical music as my basic genre in my musical journey, so i enjoy many masterpieces from bach (there's always a bach soul in every string kiddos' life) shostakovich, tchaikovsky, liszt, rachmaninoff, mozart, chopin, beethoven, schumann, vivaldi, brahms, and contemporary/modern composers and musicians such as joe hisaishi, alan menken, benj pasek, john debney, indra lesmana, erwin gutawa, singgih sanjaya, purwacaraka, laleilmanino, and many more.

but don't worry, your girl is just a typical gen-z that loves to listen to pop, r&b, city pop, and kpop. as an english literature student, i'm a self-proclaim taylor swift's daughter. i'm a casual listener of laufey, kla project, hivi!, baek yerin, iu, and many kpop groups, but i mainly set my eyes on wjsn, monsta x, nmixx, fromis_9, aespa, ive, red velvet, treasure, enhypen, stayc, blackpink, the boyz, kiss of life, oh, i'm still crying over wanna one, one direction, iz*one, and gfriend (who doesn't, right?)

simple thing easily makes me happy, like surfing on my music platform, exploring, and suddenly finding a very good music from a musician that i never heard before. it feels like finding a hidden treasure for me.

3. notes

this account is merely a digital diary of me and i often throwing some tmi, show you what i eat and what i'm crying over (mostly about my college life and my shitty days as a violinist in my college orchestra club), and i do sometimes spitting harsh words and mild nsfw here so if you're simply uncomfortable with that please step back from this account, okay?

lastly, i enjoy talking and being the kindest human being as possible to my precious ones here even though my social battery is often running out so fast. so, please do not interact with me if you're hateful, ignorant, zionist or zionist enabler, and being disrespectful towards others. and since your girl is not a saint, please do remind me through direct message if i do something wrong, i will be very thankful.

let's live a life positively, stay healthy, well-educated, and adorable, everyone. thank you for reading my brief page! ♡

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starmocha · 1 month ago

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I BEG YOUR PARDON THIS IS SO CUTE!!! Thank you for the tag @rose-tinted-kalopsia 💖💖💖💖💖

My name's Xíu~ 💖 but you can also use my handle, starmocha or Star, I don't mind whichever 🥹

☆彡 how do you spend your free time?

UNPRODUCTIVELY LMAO but I do get stressed about having limited free time and wanting to do as much as possible and then worried I won't do anything and have wasted precious time :')

☆彡 what are your hobbies and how did you get into them?

Writing~ I've always loved creating stories as a child and I guess once I learned how to write, I was fortunate enough to have teachers from elementary school all the way to college who encouraged that interest. I have no inclination or ambition to ever pursue it professionally. I just like writing for me. <333

I also like video games, reading, movies...basically anything that can let me escape from reality lol 🥹🥹🥹

☆彡 what book or movie left a lasting impression on you?

For a book, it's The Giver by Lois Lowry. I first read it when I was about 11 or 12. I found it on my sixth grade's teacher bookshelf and I don't remember why I was drawn to the book, but I know I've read it more than anything else. It took me a few years to finally obtain a copy only for someone to stole it out of my school bag and I was pissed. After like over a decade, I actually just recently bought a new copy after so long, and it comes with other books in this "series". The reason I like it is because as a child I found the protagonist relatable, but I couldn't understand why until one day when I was 16 while I was in a counseling session with a priest where I grew so emotional and angry about my family, he pointed out I was an empath and how I was able to feel emotions stronger than others, but it also meant I was able to feel compassion more easily than others. There is a similar scene in the book where the protagonist also experiences intense emotions only to be calmed down by his mentor.

For a movie, The Fall, starring Lee Pace. It is sooo underrated, which is such a travesty! Lee Pace is my favorite actor and this is one of his best roles ever. The movie has gorgeous scenery and costumes as well.

In the film, he stars as a stunt actor who was recently injured and is now facing the possibility of giving up his career that he loves. As he recovers in a hospital, a little girl befriends him. The film interweaves storytelling, so you have this beautiful fantasy subplot as the main character creates a story for the girl. It is whimsical, romantic, and adventurous. Near the end, though, he starts having a breakdown and in one of the most heartbreaking scenes ever, he starts killing off the characters in his story. The little girl asks him tearfully why he's killing everyone, and he answers her spitefully that, "It's my story."

Only for the little girl to tearfully answer him: "Mine, too." </3333

I also want to give a mention to Train to Busan. It easily ties with The Fall as my favorite films. Gong Yoo is so amazing in this. You think you're getting a thrilling zombie survival movie, but by the end you are devastated and emotionally ruined by it. It is soooo good. I highly recommend both films.

☆彡 what kind of music do you enjoy?

Nearly everything really lol Sometimes it's K-Pop, EDM, indie, classical, R&B, Europop...just whatever mood I happen to be in. :)))

☆彡 who is your favorite character (atm or all time) and why?

... Sylus (Love and Deepspace). 🥹 I'll be honest. I knew I was going to like his character...I just did not expect it to be to this degree lol He is just a very well-developed character. A lot of his opinions on life and people are very deep and insightful, which you wouldn't expect often from fictional characters. I also like his sense of humor, his mannerism, and odd habits (seriously, what is with his crow obsession - devs, give me the lores now). And with his recent myth release, I am absolutely destroyed by his story. I'm still trying to piece my heart back together. ily my silly soft dragon <333

No pressure, but tagging @lavlynyan @irandial @yourlocalcatscammer @nerdyladyrebel @an-ever-angry-bi + anyone who wants to join 💖💖💖💖💖

tag + q&a game ₊˚ෆ

hello! i thought it would be cute and exciting to do a tag game with all my mutuals to not only talk about themselves, but have fun! so here is my short little game:

alongside this picrew, share 5 things about yourself!

• how do you spend your free time? • what are your hobbies and how did you get into them? • what book or movie left a lasting impression on you? • what kind of music do you enjoy? • who is your favorite character (atm or all time) and why?

i will start first!

my name is rurumi and i enjoy spending my free time writing!

some of my hobbies (outside of writing) includes: drawing, building gundams and keyboards, and fashion! i got into most of them on a whim and became instantly hooked. aside from self-expression, being into fashion also helps with making friends in college because you always have something to talk about!

a book that left a lasting impression on me would have to be either kafka on the shore by haruki murakami or before the coffee gets cold by toshikazu kawaguchi. both stories have kept me up at night thinking a lot about the 'what ifs' in life.

i enjoy soul/r&b alongside anything of jrock influence, but i will basically listen to anything that sounds good. i am currently listening to 'so what' by lucy!

my favorite character at the moment is rin itoshi from blue lock because hes so ridiculously edgy, but at the same time i sympathize with him a lot. on the other hand, my favorite character of all time is suletta mecury from the witch from mercury series, she's an absolute ball of sunshine that i aspire to be.

tagging (+ no pressure) ₊˚ෆ

@kaiser1ns @naenaex0xx @shomatoriashi @choccorin @ryescapades

@rindreamery @soleillunne @kissxcore @rainswept @mitsvriii

#★⋆. ࿐࿔ tumblr games #lol roxie i just realized i went for the same pink aesthetic as you <333 #why did i get so yappy lmao

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neko-nemesis · 3 years ago

Text

𝙎𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙩 𝙗𝙖𝙗𝙮~

𝙆𝙖𝙚𝙙𝙚𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖 𝙠𝙖𝙯𝙪𝙝𝙖 𝙭 𝙖𝙛𝙖𝙗 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

Warnings: explicit sexual content ahead (MDI)[minors do not interact, you will be blocked]

Synopsis: smoker!Kazuha trying to quit smoking, eating artificial sweet lollipops to go through his withdrawal symptoms, resulting into craving something else, which is much sweeter.

C.w: smoker!Kazuha so mentions of smoking is mentioned alot, mention of weed and e-cigs too, twisted use of Lollipop (lmao you'll see), Oral (reader receiving), slight mentions of fingering, arguments mentioned, slight angst(?), Lmk if I missed anything <3

Unedited, pardon me for the mistakes, I'll proof read it later on </3

(Writer notes will be at the end)

Taglist || Genshin Masterlist

♡ 𝙉𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙨, 𝙧𝙚𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙜𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙝𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙡𝙮 𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙 ♡

Kazuha...had a little problem. Well it's no longer "little" per se, rather it was becoming something close to addiction. That being, smoking. College can be stressful and being a music major was getting to him. He found a release from the overwhelming stress from smoking, whether it was weed, e-cig or the classic tobacco packs.

Not to mention, living together was becoming hectic, boxes littered between the couch cushions, on the bedside table, in the cabinet of the bathroom, it was like a weird trip of treasure hunt for you. If you look carefully in the nook and crannies, you may just find your dear boyfriend's "release".

Having a proper talk with him and some words back and forth, even a little misunderstanding argument one or two here and there later, Kazuha made up his mind to quit it. It is not easy, infact he felt gloomy but what soured his mood more is the sudden distance between the two of you. This dumb "release" sure was taking a toll on you and the relationship between the two of you and he cursed himself for noticing it so late.

Now though, despite not having said a word to your partner in a while, the sudden smell of strong artificial strawberries and fruits hit you in the face when you came back home from your classes and part time job. noticing a crystal hollow bowl on the counter tables, filled with random lollies and candies. You connect the dots that the culprit of so many candies being none other than your boyfriend, he's trying to quit, you figured. But you were upset from the fight few days prior,

You only ever wished the best but got shut down.

"Y/n, you don't understand! It just helps me calm down, is that so bad?"

"'zuha, it's bad for you, babe." You gritted your teeth, "I'm only looking out for you!"

He scoffs, running his hand through his platinum blonde hair in a rough manner to control his building up frustration but he was failing at it. His soft vermillion eyes were long gone, the man you loved now looked at you with nothing but irritation painted oh so clearly in his eyes.

"Oh? That's very sweet of you but I didn't asked for your concerns now have I?"

You shake your head, trying to gain back composure, now it's not the time to dwell on the past that has gone by, even if it hurts. So you decided to remain distant to get over the whole thing and be normal.

Getting ready for bed, you notice the absence of your boyfriend, you begin to miss him, quite alot honestly. Familiar key juggling sounds brought you back to reality from the heart aching silence of your shared house and only when you creeped out of your room to see your boyfriend, you see kazuha getting in the apartment, quietly as possible.

You clear your throat, to which he yelps, dropping the loose plastic bag of goodies. "oh- it's you." He breathes, his lips curving up into a small smile, to which you awkwardly nodded at, he bents down to quickly snatch up the bag he carelessly let go off while being caught off guard as you shifted from toe to toe, uncomfortable and not knowing how to approach him. Being observant, he immediately noticed your demeanor towards him and felt his heart squeeze until it ached a bit. He wasnt liking the awkward air around the two of you, a total contrast to how you two usually are towards each other; carefree, comfortable and mostly, affectionate, really really affectionate. "Sooo.. uh" he lets out a dry laugh, "I was um- out, for uh you know for some-"

"to smoke?" You ask plainly, leaning against the door frame of your shared bedroom.

"huh? Oh, god no." He giggles sheepishly, "for these" he quickly rummaged through the plastic bag to pull out the intact pack of the familiar sweet scented lollipops you smelled when coming in the apartment. "Oh." You say, now scratching your arm, something you do when you're in an awkward position.

"yeahh, 'oh.'" kazuha grins, mocking you to clear up the air. His hands making quick work on the packets as he shoved one of the sweets in his mouth.

"what's the deal with you and all these candies?" You ask, walking closer to the counter he stood by, "to stop my cravings for a smoke, you know?" He gives a lopsided smile as he continues to suck on the lollipops.

"Oh and since tomorrow is a weekend, I was thinking we should watch a movie."

"Oh..movie?"

"mhmm", he smiles sweetly, "It's your turn to pick something, love." You hate how weak you are for him as you failed to stay cooped up in the room and let his hands guide yours to the couch, unable to say no.

Well, I guess a movie won't hurt. You think.

xxx

Well I guess you thought wrong. 15 minutes in, you sat beside him rather than on his lap like usual and awkwardly watched the movie, hardly paying any attention. There was no usual discussing between the two of you would have in the middle of watching movies or TV, others may get annoyed with this but you two loved to share feedbacks and talk about each fucking frame with one other, knowing each other's different opinions mattered to you both deeply but tonight there was none of that and it was becoming unbearable for Kazuha.

But then, he had a thought . He smirked to himself over it as he side-glances to see you trying to focus on what's going on in the movie. He was already cursing to himself seeing your lips puckered up slightly into a pout, trying your best to concentrate as you stayed leaning forward, your tank top leaving little to nothing to the imagination as your breasts almost were spilling out of the flimsy stretched out top.

"My love?"

"Huh?" As if pulled out of some trance, you look at him slightly, overdramatically Kazuha pouts, "This lollipop isn't sweet enough."

You frown, "I can smell it from here, I'm pretty sure it's too sweet infact from the artificial sweeteners, you know." You look at him as if he grew a third limb.

He throws his head back and let out a chuckle, finding it very amusing. To which you look away, the lazily tied up hair along with his comfy pajamas and the glazing bright light from the TV screen made Kazuha look irresistible and you didn't wish to be distracted now.

"I'm serious! C'mon, taste it for me"

"I-" before you could've finished your word, your boyfriend shoved the candy in your mouth, suddenly he was close, too close, too close to your face. His half lidded eyes looked at your wide ones and you realize the candy in your mouth was in his a second ago. "C'mon, suck." His 180° demeanor caught you off guard, you feel his hands brushing on your sides as he makes quick moves around you to cage you in on the uncomfortably small couch, unable to escape like a defenseless bunny infront of a predator. Without questioning though, you oblige, falling in the spiral abyss of his blown out eyes, the dilation almost turned his eyes black.

You suck, you suck it good enough for him as you dared not to break the intense eye contact.

"it's not sweet enough, right baby?"

Liar. It was sickly sweet or maybe it was just him.

Maybe it was just him, too sweet against your tongue as you now greedy suckle the piece of red candy, making your boyfriend let out a pleased hum.

"Its- too sweeth-" you talk, barely forming the sentence right as you licked the candy your boyfriend held against your mouth.

"too sweet?" He coos, pulling back his hand, removing the lollipop out of your mouth with a pop and proceeding to put it back in his mouth lazily to "confirm". He grins down at you, "now it's sweet." He inches closer, "now it's better." He groans, Taking out the stick only to crash his lips against yours. Red tinted lips from the candy now sucked on your bottom lip as his kisses grew rougher by each minute. You whine against his mouth, thoughts of staying away thrown at the back of your mind as you burned for more.

Pulling away, a string of saliva keep you both connected, "I know what can make this taste the sweetest" "what can-"

You gasp, slender fingers rubbed hard against the embarrassingly soaked spot on your pj shorts, grinding your hips to meet his hand and feel just a little more friction. "This-" the tip of his fingers penetrates you a little even with the shorts on and rubbed your folds all nice and right, "this pussy can make anything the sweetest, isn't that right my baby?" He teases,

"Stop- that's gross-" gross? It was downright nasty but that's what turned you both on. your words die down your throat as his hands make quick work against your shorts and lifts your supple thighs up on his shoulders as he bents down, impatiently pulling down the shorts, "oh, don't worry your pretty head, you just have to take it" he mutters as sweats made the baby hairs stick on his forehead, somehow making him look unimaginably attractive and his hot breathe fanned against your cunt, making you throb and feel light headed from the anticipation.

"You know I clean my mess up everytime right, baby?" He plants wet kisses and makes a trial from your thighs upto your clit. Savoring the wetness coating his lips and chin. Fuck, you were soaked. There's nothing Kazuha wouldn't do to dip his head down and cut the chase, eat you up until you're cumming nothing on his tongue but he had to be patient.

A little more.

"gimme the candy, sweet girl" he teases, you scowl and you lazily pass the lollipop to him as he kisses your clit again as a thank you and then shoving the candy back in his mouth to make it wet enough this time rather than taste it, afterall he has better things to savor against his tongue. "I need to taste you, okay love? Only you can make this sweeter for me" he slurs his words out, never looking up anymore and as if he's under a spell as his eyes flutters, without doing nothing to you as of yet but being beyond pussy drunk. two of his fingers spreads your lips and the moment the sticky ball makes contact with your slick, you whimper.

"kazuhaa" you whine, "you must've -lost your m-mind"

"maybe" he smirks, fastening the pace he had on the lollipop against your clit, the sudden speed of the ball of candy getting dragged had you embarrassingly more wet.

"Now for the taste~" he mumbles as he now slowly tries to penetrate you with the fucking lollipop. The look on your boyfriend face was nothing but just amusement and dark lust, seeing how your cunt even sucks up and swallows even the ball of candy inside with ease. Your eyes drifted below once again to see what has to be one of the most sinful sight. Your boyfriend with his hair messy, mouth agaped slightly and you could swear you're seeing him with hearts in his eyes and drool almost at the sight of his fingers pushing the stick of candy in and out of you slightly. His mouth waters up even further until he couldn't take it anymore.

"fuck this" he pants, throwing off the candy god knows where and pulling and squeezing your thighs as he nested his head in-between. Messily sucking and licking up all your nectar, the hint of the candy flavor was very clear against his tongue but mixed with the slight earthy taste of you truly made it much sweeter for his taste. You thrash and arch your back against his strong hold on your waist and hips made your efforts to be set free down the drain as he continues to savor and greedily taste up everything while plunging his long fingers inside now, adding more pleasure. Often muttering praises and teasing remarks of how much you're enjoying this. His one hand soon slide down to pull his cock out and jerk off to the incredibly erotic scene of you.

Crazy hair, blown out eyes, flushed cute face and your tits popping out of your shirt as you squeezed onto them while he ate you out and drank every drop of cum out of you.

Don't be mistaken, he's not done. With his new found discovery of how you are so much sweeter than any candy, it's a doubt if he's even pulling his tongue out of you tonight. You won't stop him now though, will you? You wanted him to quit right?

So be a good girl and give every drop of your sweet cum to your greedy boyfriend.

𝘼.𝙉: 𝘼𝙃𝙃𝙃𝙃 𝙞 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙞 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙞 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙤𝙣𝙚, 𝙥𝙨𝙨𝙩𝙩 𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙣. 𝙆𝙖𝙯𝙪𝙝𝙖 𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙮 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙖 𝙜𝙧𝙞𝙥 𝙤𝙣 𝙢𝙚 𝙄 𝙨𝙬𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙩𝙤 𝙜𝙤𝙙. 𝙏𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄'𝙫𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙞𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙘𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩, 𝙞 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙𝙣𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙥 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙤𝙪𝙩.𝙨𝙟𝙝𝙙𝙟𝙙𝙟𝙙𝙟𝙙𝙟𝙙𝙟 𝙃𝙊𝙋𝙀 𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝘽𝘼𝘽𝙄𝙀𝙎 𝙀𝙉𝙅𝙊𝙔𝙀𝘿 𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙎. 𝙆𝘼𝙕𝙐𝙃𝘼 𝙎𝙄𝙈𝙋𝙎, 𝙄 𝙃𝙊𝙋𝙀 𝙄 𝙁𝙀𝘿 𝙔𝘼𝙇𝙇 𝙂𝙊𝙊𝘿, 𝙄𝙁 𝙉𝙊𝙏, 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙞𝙙𝙠 𝙨𝙣𝙖𝙥 𝙢𝙮 𝙣𝙚𝙘𝙠 𝙤𝙛𝙛🧍🏽‍♀.

Taglist: @frenchtoaf @Liang_lee @svgar-slvt @aliceesblog @dazaiscum @euphoricn @nejibot @iwaizumi-chan @mee9 @kenmasimplol

(highlighted tags are blogs I couldn't tag

Want to get tagged everytime I post?

#genshin impact #genshin smut #genshin kazuha #kazuha #kazuha kaedehara #kazuha kaedehara smut #kaedehara kazuha #kaedehara x you #kaedehara x reader #genshin kaedehara #kazuha smut #kazuha angst #kazuha fluff #kazuha hurt/comfort #genshin impact kazuha #nekonemesis.writes

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upwards-descent · 2 years ago

Text

Pressure

"You just HAVE to be the overachiever, huh?"

Daehyun looked up from his paper, his pen coming to a stop. He'd never seen the expression on Marshall's face directed at him before; disgust.

"Pardon?" Daehyun echoed.

"You just gotta--"

"Keep it moving," Rodrigo padded down the stairs and slipped on his shoes. He shot Daehyun an equally dirty look. "Leave the kiss-ass to his work."

"Pardon?" Daehyun repeated with added emphasis. "I'm sorry I have a future to plan--"

"Shut the fuck up, D," Marshall snapped. "No one cares about your stupid magic! At least Rodrigo and I live in the real fucking world."

"Magic IS real, you know that," Daehyun replied coldly. "You're just trying to redirect because mom and dad are disappointed--"

"If you know what's good for you," Rodrigo's face was blank but his tone was threatening. "You'll stop right there. C'mon, Marshall, we're losing daylight and I wanna get some practice in."

Daehyun watched his brothers grab the basketball in the closet and storm out, slamming the door behind them. The wizard exhaled sharply and went back to his work.

He startled when the paper started getting wet. Reaching up to his face, Daehyun was shocked to find tears on his cheeks. Great. Now his brothers would call him a crybaby again.

Wait, but why was he crying?

Daehyun looked around the dining room. There was a portrait on the wall of his parents in college, wearing traditional wizard caps and holding up their diplomas. They looked so happy. He never noticed, though, the weight in their gaze. It was a little intimidating, like the pinnacle of their success had been perfectly captured and set in a frame.

"Honey, have you seen your brothers?" Mom descended the stairs, her dark hair bouncing as she walked. "I thought we were all going out for burgers and shakes? Your dad was gonna meet us after work-- honey? Are you alright?"

Daehyun didn't say anything for a good long moment, swallowing the lump in his throat as his mother moved to investigate. She wiped the tears off his face and cupped his chin in her hands. The familiar softness of her skin only stirred up the emotions warring in Daehyun'd heart.

"We got into a fight." The 16 year-old sobbed.

"Oh, sweetie, I--"

"You l-love them, right? You love M-mmarsh and R-rrod?"

"Oh, honey!" Mom bent down and smothered Daehyun in a warm hug. "Of course I do! So does dad! We love you three so much."

"You're n-not secretly disappointed th-they didn't pursue mm-magic?" Daehyun clung to his mother. The stress of exams wasn't helping his state either.

"D," Mom pulled back to look Daehyun in the eyes, wiping away his tears with her thumbs. "We adopted you and your brothers because we wanted to be parents and we wanted to have children to love and raise. Did we hope you'd all get into magic? Of course! And I will admit, your father and I set some unrealistic standards for Marsh and Rod when they were younger. But we both realized that loving you three and supporting your interests and careers is FAR more important than whatever expectations we were held to when we were kids."

"Breaking the cycle?" Daehyun managed a wet laugh.

"Breaking the cycle," Mom chuckled with him and gave his shoulders a fond squeeze. "We should all talk this out, preferably over burgers and shakes. Do you think you could go get your brothers for me?"

Daehyun grinned. Wiping at his eyes with his sleeves, he nodded.

"Good boy," Mom beamed and ruffled his hair. "Chop, chop, my stomach's about to self-cannibalize."

✨✨✨

Daehyun trotted across the blacktop. It was walking distance from the house but the path seemed to go on forever the more he thought about having a talk with his brothers. Marshall and Rodrigo, while a year apart and coming from two different sets of parents, acted like twins. Mom and dad adopted them simultaneously from the same foster home so the pair had been raised side by side for a majority of their lives. They didn't have the same relationship with Daehyun who joined the family a few years later and a few years older than the two boys had been when they were adopted. Nonetheless, the three got along well. This felt like their first real fight.

Marshall noticed him first but ignored his presence, attempting to making a half-court shot. He missed and the ball hit the rim, making it shudder. Rodrigo noticed him right after, retrieving the ball and whipping it at Daehyun. He was clearly holding back, though, and the youngest brother caught it easily.

"I'm sorry," Daehyun piped up immediately. "I'm sorry for what I said. It was wrong and I was a jerk."

Marshall and Rodrigo's response was a physical jolt, like they'd both been punched in the face. They shared a look before crossing the blacktop to comfort their brother who still showed evidence of crying.

"We're sorry, too, D," Rodrigo apologized with a lopsided smile. He clasped Daehyun's shoulder and Marshall took the other. "I guess with your exams coming up, it feels like mom and dad are giving you special attention and it's tough to watch."

"You can't imagine the weight of their expectations on our shoulders," Marshall's brow was furrowed but his frustration wasn't aimed at Daehyun. "It feels like we've already failed in their eyes and we're not even done with college."

"Mom said we should air this all out over dinner but she isn't disappointed in you," Daehyun attempted a comforting smile. "She said she loves us all equally and she's sorry to put that pressure on you--"

Daehyun yelped as Rodrigo hefted him up to carry him piggyback.

"Aw shit, we totally forgot about dinner," Marshall smacked his forehead with his palm. He took the ball and tucked it under his arm. "Okay, fine, mushy gushy, let's get going."

Rodrigo adjusted his grip and knocked his temple against Daehyun's.

"Thanks, bud," He whispered as they walked home. "You do a good job of keeping us focused and working together, Dae. I'm glad you're our little bro."

Daehyun sniffled but laughed when Rodrigo jostled him again. Marshall looked back and called them slow to goad Rodrigo into running after him with Daehyun still clinging to his back.

Things would be okay.

#my oc #daehyun moore #marshall moore #rodrigo moore #writings #don't judge my inability to write sibling dynamics ok #my siblings are 10+ years younger than me and all our parents are somehow abusive so our relationships are different or non-existent

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voidsteffy · 3 years ago

Note

When you get this you have to answer with 5 things u like about yourself, publicly. Then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool)✨💝

Whenever I get such msgs in my ask box I'm like 🥺🥺🥺you wanna???? Know about this poor little magnanimously self absorbed girl? Ah I love you

So here goes:

My mind is dramatic. No, I mean seriously, dramatic AF. I'd probably leave to college with a monologue like a soldier off to battle if I could. (No one near me irl shares that penchant so I'm adept at either making my characters multipersonality or solo performances in my head)

I see every experience as a probable brick in my stories, to make my stories as life-like as possible and that habit has led me to see all the sides of a story. I'm empathetic and realistic.

I'm desperate for love. Though that has made me quite self-deprecating, it also made me one to find something worth loving in everybody I come across.

I'm polite. I'm respectful and I make people feel as calm as possible. Very few haven't felt comfortable enough around me to share their deep secrets but everyone's always comfortable enough to trust me or be relieved when they see me in a sea full of people.

I'm the mom friend. Text me with any problem (Ren my lips are too chapped! Ren what do we do for this experiment! Omg Ren I DIDN'T DO THE HOMEWORK!) I gotchu. I get the pardons when necessary but help those I love settle their matters without resorting to that.

(also, @nnon-but-cwnancydrew and @obsessed-n-stressed thank you for the same ask)

#asks #about me #mutuals #5 things you like about yourself

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theyarebothgunshot · 3 years ago

Note

Hey, I'm a bit late so pardon if I am missing out on something ^^ This is also a pretty negative ask, sorry. I'm also a college student and my anxiety has clearly gone out of the roof during the pandemic. I started my master this year and it is just. So much. Like everyone is super professional and I am that weirdo that doesn't really fit in. And now we have to do an internship but I just... can't get myself over to mail anyone and ask. My study is dealing with the art industries so to say (1/3)

part 2 & 3 under the cut!

and every lesson is basically about how hard it is to find a job, how important it is to gain practical experience, how you have to network and sell yourself. I can do arts and write essays, but as soon as I have to do bureaucracy or talk to people I am so lost. I just have the feeling I don't know how to adult. I mean, I'm around mid-twenty (also have been studying since 2015 now) but still. And now with the pandemic - what happened to me is that because of the arts sector, everything has (2/3)

become more strict. The whole entertainment/creative industry broke down, many people lost their jobs. And now I'm hearing: 'NOW is the time to network! If you're not doing it then you're too late!' but I just can't bring myself over and talk to people. It really stresses me out. I'm sorry. I just wish I could life somewhere and could do art commissions for a living. I hope this ask is okay. It is very personal. I have no idea what to do, except overcome the anxiety? But how :/ (3/3) - anon anon

hi nonnie, i'm sorry you're going through it like this. i can totally understand the overwhelming feeling of anxiety when you know you Have to do something but you just Can't get yourself to do it. is there anybody in your year that you can talk to? anybody you trust? someone you can maybe share your fears with and who might give you some advice or lend a helping hand? in my experience, sharing this kind of thing with someone can really help. even if it is just to hear that someone else is going through the same shit.

i know it's different for everybody, but whenever i have to do something and can't get myself to do it, i try to think to myself: what is the worst the could happen if i don't do it? and what is the worst that can happen if i do it? and it helps me to think a bit more clearly whenever i am overwhelmed. idk if this helps at all, but i hope so <3

#anon anon

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yetanotherreader · 5 years ago

Text

One Day

Fic Type: Stand-alone/One-Shot

Genre: Drama (Heavy Angst)

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Y/N Y/L/N

Characters: Dean Winchester, Y/N Y/L/N, Sam Winchester, Joseph Hughes (OC)

Word Count: 3,032.

Warnings: Angst, Depression, Anxiety, Marital Abuse, Mentions of marital rape, abusive marriage, physical violence.

PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS AND DO NOT READ IF ANY OF THIS IS TRIGGERING FOR YOU.

Mobile app doesn't support the cut, so pardon for the no read more thingy.

A/N: Hey guys. I know I went on this little(big) break and I haven't updated useful in a while. I'm going through a writer's block again, trying to write and stopping after a while. and I have so many college projects to do during quarantine. I hope y'all are keeping safe. I wrote this one shot in hopes of getting back at writing. Woke up all night writing this, so I really hope you all will like it. But again, since I woke up the night writing this, it may or may not be up to your expectations. Please heed the warning above, girls. I really do not want any of you going through more stress during these stressful times.

Also, I used the same tag list as Useful in this one too. I don't know if everyone of you will like to be added to any of my other works so let me know if you want your name removed or added. :)

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His eyes were locked on the big gates of the hall, both waiting for and dreading the moment that particular person entered who he'd been missing for months. He gave a once over to the venue. This place was gorgeous, a palace in fact. A big chandelier graced the double ceiling and there was a colorful fountain in the garden outside. The lights were the right amount of bright and the drinks tasted just about perfect. Even the waiters wore their uniforms more expensive than his suit. It was something Dean had always seen in those Disney movies which, don't tell anyone, were his guilty pleasure.

He and Sam had come here for a case—the only reason that gave them the privilege to get into a place like this one. People have reported weird occurrences happening around here, followed by the abduction of everyone who saw it. Turned out, it was a serial killer and the police had taken care of it even before they reached.

Something about that place, though, made him want to stay. For some reason, he didn't make a U-turn and go back. Maybe it was the fact that it was the annual ball of the city where only the rich and reputed were invited, that he wanted to feel reputed for once, or that here he would see someone he hadn't seen in a while, someone he missed everyday he lived. He knew it would shatter his heart when he saw her, but he was willing to take a heartbreak if it meant seeing her once. Sam didn't say a word against it, but Dean knew better than to think he was okay with him going through all that torture.

Just when his eyes reached back to the doors, he saw, once again, the most beautiful woman he had ever laid his eyes on. The woman who made his heart flutter and break at the same time, the woman he loved the most. She was dressed in rose gold, the drape hugging her curves as perfectly as he remembered. Her hair was up in a messy bun, which only she could pull off that good, with few softly curled strands coming out to shape her face. Her lips were colored wine red, as tempting as ever, and her face was covered in a darker make up than he ever remembered her wear. In a better shape than when he last saw her, her posture screamed royalty. She looked breathtakingly gorgeous. The only thing was, she wasn't herself. Or at least, her old self. Does time change people that much? It took him all his power to remove his gaze from her, her arm entangled with the other man's, helped.

She wasn't his to call anymore, she never was. Maybe the only woman who he liked but never kissed, the only woman who made him go all hot and bothered but he never dared touch her the way he desired. The only woman he loved enough to not make a move. He knew his feelings were mutual, he saw it in her eyes when they sat on the hood of the impala, chatting through the sleepless nights. He saw it every time she laughed at his piss poor jokes or narrowed her eyes at the women who flirted with him. He saw it when she cried for the first time in front of him and yelled at him because she thought he got himself killed. He saw it when he felt her heart accelerate everytime they hugged, like his own, and when she refused to leave him in the worst. He saw it when he saw her build walls to hide her broken heart after he asked her to leave. He saw it in her indifferent expression and a lone tear escaping her eyes when he told her he'd be better off without her.

And boy did he regret every word he said. He called her as soon as he realized what he did. That in order to save her, he might have just given her the biggest of the insecurities. It was a month later that it happened. He apologized to her, told her he never meant whatever he said, tried to explain why he did what he did. And she forgave. He couldn't believe his ears when he heard her say those words, he wanted her to yell at him, hate him, punish him for what he did but she said nothing more than a 'It's okay, I understand.'. And maybe that one sentence hurt him as much as he hurt her. She didn't even think of him good enough to be mad at. She shouldn't have understood, she should have argued. He might have lost the best thing that ever happened to him like that. And his fear proved right when he saw her photo in the newspaper, two months later, with a man. Joseph Hughes, a big name, apparently. The man he ran into, not so long ago, in missouri.

"Mr. Winchester." He heard the deep, masculine voice as it approached him, "Didn't know we'll meet again so soon."

If running into that man earlier made his heart heavy, meeting him with his arm around Y/N's waist made it fall down with a thud, "Mr and...Mrs Hughes. Fancy seeing you here, too." He shook his hand with a firm shake, forwarding it toward the man's wife to do a similar action. Instead, she folded her hand in a namastey greeting, as she looked at him shocked, and scared. Maybe she didn't want her husband to know about him.

"I would ask how did you know she was my wife, but I guess you read newspapers." The man said in his smooth accent with a laugh, which Dean returned halfheartedly.

"Got that one right," he smiled at Hughes, his eyes lingering a little longer on Y/N, "Your wife is beautiful."

At the comment he saw her husband's hold tighten around her in sudden possessiveness, his fingers almost digging into her flesh as she flinched a little. He tore his gaze away from her, reminding himself she was someone else's wife and he had no right to be staring at her. But something about this whole situation felt wrong, that touch felt wrong.

She didn't look at him once after that. The tension in the air suffocated them both, and he was sure the shorter man in front of him felt it too, "Let's get you meet some of my friends, darlin'. If you could excuse us?"

Dean gave them the way, as he contemplated whether his decision of staying was even right. It crushed his heart seeing the woman he loved in someone else's arms. He felt like throwing up. Seven months ago, he couldn't have thought there'd be a day like this. He hated himself for that.

"Dean, do you want to go?" Sam's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"N-no," He cleared his throat when his voice came out rough and hoarse, "No, I guess I'll just go to the washroom. Go find some hot chick for me " he winked at Sam, who clearly saw right through it but didn't say anything. He stayed in the bathroom for a while, to calm his aching heart. People knew Dean as a man, as strong as an alpha, but here he was, falling weak.

After splashing water on his face a few times, he got out of the bathroom just to see people frozen in their spots. His eyes went to his brother, immediately worried about his safety only to find him silently, but furiously glaring something, his hands were fisted like a beast about to attack its prey. When he followed his line of sight, he felt something similar inside of him. There stood Joseph Hughes towering his wife, glaring her down and his nails digging into her, now pale, arms, "I said, Tell. Me. The. Truth."

"I told you. He w-was a f-friend." Dean heard her voice for the first time in a long while, and his chest hurt at how small and scared it was. Y/N wasn't a hunter but she was fearless and brave. She had put her life on her palms so many times to save him and Sam without hesitating. That was one of the reasons he pushed her away, but here seeing her so helpless and terrified, he didn't know how to react.

"A friend, huh? A friend shouldn't look at you like that." His voice came out in a growl, audible in the pin drop silence, that sent visible shivers running down her spine, "That's why I don't leave you around men, you pathetic whore. I'm done being okay with you slutting around-"

Dean charged forward, enraged at the man's audacity to even let those words out of his mouth, but before he even took two steps, Y/N pushed that douche with enough force to make him stumble, pausing Dean mid-walk.

"You're done being oka-I AM DONE BEING OKAY!" Y/N raised her voice, violently shaking out of fear and rage. Joseph looked shocked, as if he never expected her to speak like that, as if she never spoke to him like that. The thought alone made Dean's eyes tear up, what had that monster done to her, "I am done being okay with the things I'm not okay with! I am done being okay with you touching me without my consent and I'm done being okay with getting slapped everytime I say no! I am done being okay with you locking me in and I am done being okay with you hitting me with whatever you find! I AM DONE WITH YOU!" She broke down into tears as she was done with her little speech.

"You are saying this here on purpose. You want me to lose my reputation." He said low, his eyes trying to scare her down.

"Y-yes, I'm saying this here on purpose because if I said it at home, you'd beat me to a pulp." She said, trying to sound low, but the eerie silence in the room making her damn well audible to his ears. Dean saw nothing but hot, white rage. Seeing Y/N so scared, so broken, Dean wanted nothing more than to break the bastard's bones, every single one of them. And when Hughes charged at Y/N, he lost whatever little control he had on himself jumping at the said man. Sam, immediately, went to Y/N's side as she hid in his chest, shaking like a dry leaf. Sam had never seen her so scared and so vulnerable. He felt a sharp pain in his heart seeing the sight of his best friend so broken, as he tightened his hold on her. Dean kept on hitting the man, like an animal that got out of its cage. His knuckles were bloodied, with which he didn't know was his blood or the other one's but he wasn't stopping. After what felt like forever, Dean was stopped by two strong arms around his own, from behind.

"Dean, stop. You'll kill him." Sam's calming voice fell into his ears, "stop"

It took Dean a while to register, as he tried to release his hands from his brother's still kicking the battered man that lied in front of him, "I don't care."

"Y/N wouldn't want you to kill him, Dean." And at that, he stopped. Y/N. Where was she? He stood up and searched for her, seeing her frozen at the same spot as earlier, zoned out and shaking violently. His heart hurt so bad seeing her like that, he couldn't stop tears from welling in his eyes.

"Y/N," he whispered as he took a few long strides to reach her and pull her into a careful hug.

She went stiff under his touch, as he loosened his hold on her, scared he might scare her before he heard her, barely, speak out, "Dean.." as she clinged to him for dear life. Hearing her say his name again wasn't as pleasant as he'd imagined a million times before, rather it was gut-wrenching. It was painful, because this was the last thing he had imagined that made her say his name. He wrapped his arms around her fully and spoke comforting words to soothe her.

"Let's go home, Y/N."

It had been a week she returned to the bunker, moving into her old room. Hughes was arrested, and divorce agreements were signed. He got to know that the thing between Y/N and Joseph was more of a business arrangement than a marriage proposed by her father, who had no idea about his son-in-law's abusive habits. Sam and Dean kept a positive atmosphere around the bunker, not going out for any cases, but there was no change in Y/N. She, mostly, kept herself locked up in her room, not talking to anyone. They thought it was necessary to give her her space but that was just deteriorating her health more. She ate too little for survival.

Dean stepped into her room with the plate of her favourite food. She loved it when he cooked for her, he just hoped to God, she still would. His eyes fell on her form, lying down on the floor, her back resting by the bed. She looked into a distance, zeroing her vision. As he went and sat beside her, keeping the plate on the floor, she spoke up, "He'll come back for me, Dean. He'll take me and he-"

"He won't," Dean cupped her cheeks and made her look at him as he met with the broken sight. Her eyes had sunken in, dark circles forming around them, face paler and her natural blush around her cheeks gone, "I promise I will not let anything happen to you."

She looked at him like she wanted to believe, but a sudden wave of anxiety stopped her, "No..no no no no, Dean! You don't understand! He..he will come back and he won't leave me. He'll beat me and...and those chains. He'll tie me up again and he'll...he'll-

She stopped mid-sentence, a horror coating her features. This new piece of information startled Dean, breaking his heart into two..enraging him, too. He didn't know how to react to it, so he did what his impulse told him to, he hugged her tight, hiding his face in her hair. More than comforting her, it was for himself. He wanted her close and safe, "He used knives, Dean. He said he loved seeing me bleed..it was so painful" Dean shut his eyes tight, trying to push away the horrifying images from his head, as he let the tears flow free. What all she had endured because of his one mistake. She sniffled as she continued in a small voice, "you won't be able to do anything, Dean. He's very powerful. You can save me from monsters, you can kill them..but him-"

"I'll kill him if he laid his finger on you ever again." Dean spoke with determination.

"N-no...No, Dean. You won't kill him. Don't kill him please, don't be like him." She shook her head violently in his chest, "not like him..no, no, no.."

"Hey, hey," he soothed her rubbing a hand on her back, "I won't. I won't be like him, okay? Shh.." It took Y/N a few minutes to calm down, while he rocked her in his lap, "You hungry?"

She shook her head, mumbling into his chest "I never feel hungry."

He sighed, "Okay. Eat a little, with me? Please? Because I'm starving."

Her eyes sparkled a little when she saw the food, "You made it?" He smiled and nodded, proudly, "Can I..can I eat the whole thing?"

He chuckled, heartily, "madam, all yours." She smiled up at him, hesitantly. As if trying to remember how to smile, at which his eyes softened, "when did you eat this last?"

She dug into the food, liking the taste of it. The taste of home, "with you. He didn't let me eat this, wanted me to look good like his wife should."

Dean clenched his jaw at this, wanting to practically undo that man's existence. The things he did to her, he was sure if he saw him someday, that'd be his last.

Y/N looked at him, a little scared and a little more sheepishly, "Can I get some more?" Dean smiled at her and got her some more. He looked at her eating, his eyes filled with unshed tears. She was so, so pure, only if he could take away all her pain, make her forget those dark months. Only if he could give her all the happiness in the world, because there was no one he knew who deserved it more than her.

Later that night, Dean asked Y/N if he could stay with her because his nightmares scared him. He knew she understood what he meant, and the fact that she didn't deny made his heart flutter. Y/N hadn't slept in days. Either she would wake up from a nightmare, yelling, or not sleep at all. He just wished she'd have a goodnight sleep in his arms, and she did. But he didn't miss what she said just before she fell into the slumber, something the Y/N he knew would never say. Something that hurt his heart and made him make a silent promise to her, and himself.

"Dean, don't send me away ever again. Please."

Never. He would never let her out of his sight again. He'd save her from every monster, supernatural or not. He didn't know long will it take her to fall for him again, or if she'd ever fall for him again. All he knew was, he'd shower her with so much love, she would forget every pain that son of a bitch caused her. He'd love her so much that she'd start loving herself one day. He would hold her so dear, that her scars would stop scaring her.

One day. One day, he'll make everything okay.

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