#I'm stressed I'm stressed I'm stressed and feel trapped

[cook-a-little-chicken]

Sorry About My Nan

That was an intense longform. And I have some thoughts:

Firstly, umm... can they not carry chairs normally? Both of them dragging it slowly like that made me laugh. Anyway-

The entire thing was amazing but especially those first few scenes. Such good acting from the get-go! Was this the longest it took for them to establish a storyline in a longform? It felt very "this is the last time I'm doing this" 😂

Luke breaking Sam and AJ with his truly realistic characterisation and "I just feel shattered, you know?" was brilliant

By my count, this is the third time AJ tells Sam to be quiet: "sorry when I fish, I like silence", "silence when hoop", "I just need like- just a bit of- quiet"

"You've got so many teeth." What is it with Tom and teeth? ("hey, I've got everything you've got, but I've also got several more teeth")

Aww Tom trying so hard not to laugh at Luke's "Have you given her adrenaline?"

Sam and AJ simultaneously pointing and saying "that/this way" to the bathroom somehow makes me laugh. Cos they're stressed out and there's this farmhand joyfully looking for his sheep. And Luke making himself laugh at his own sheep vs farmhand interaction is cute

Aahh Tom's facial expressions throughout were incredible!

"Not one seat each." I see Tom's enjoying inconveniencing the others

Not the subtitles calling Sam out on the "numchucks" 😂

Luke was lying face first on the floor for almost 6 minutes. I was initially wondering how Luke didn't break as a corpse, but you can see his body moving as he silently (and sometimes audibly) laughs. It's really cute and he laughs a lot throughout it's kinda funny

Tom was so good as the German stage person (Emcee?) with the incredible physical performance and expressions! Him and Krampus were so similar but so different, I'm in awe

The almost perfect symmetry of Sam and AJ laughing at Tom's "meine little liebchen" 😂

Sam shouting "numchucks numchucks numchucks" as he hits AJ with them is the funniest thing ever. Worse, I'd say, than the "bang bang bang" he called Luke out on in All Eyes on Nigel

AJ's delivery of "I recently found out that my nana is like a cult leader for people in Germany. And that, umm, is so weird" is absolutely stellar. And Luke's movements and smiles as Julie/Lucy were so subtly eerie from the beginning it was wonderful

They managed to stop the "stag"s perfectly, what great intuition!

Tom's "eh!" and shirt throw 😂 I was surprised he had a shirt on at the end

I can't explain it, and it was probably unintentional, but the wedding scene felt like it was still part of the fake scenario tests. Like stepping out almost from behind a curtain to "out there" together, hand-in-hand, and then immediately reaching the altar instead of the bride having the traditional long walk? Then Sam's speech about the mic amplifying which almost sounds like something you'd imagine in a dream or in your head, followed immediately by "I do" when they weren't even asked the question?

They're going to Bergheim straight after, meaning Ethel's successfully indoctrinated them both into her cult. And AJ's best friend isn't there. Was that cos Sam kept questioning Ethel and her methods? Was he banished from the cult? What's happened to him? If it was a normal wedding, you'd expect him to be there. Especially cos they keep reiterating that they're "best friend"s

I'm sure it's supposed to be a happy story but it feels more horror/psychological thriller to me, where the characters think they've reached their happy ending but in reality they're trapped now

[withallthingslove]

Love your predictions so far! Any new ones now that we’ve seen 5 episodes?

I answered my overall episode predictions in a different ask here, so I'm going to use yours to go through what I think the betrayal will be, how that could affect future episodes, and more predictions for episodes 6-7.

So over the next two episodes I think June and Moira will be taken to Lawrence's, and then they possibly end up at Nick's (or possibly Rita or Serena's places), or they split up with June hiding at a house and Moira hiding at a different one. Nick and June will confess or have some sort of reaffirmation of their feelings.

I also think by the episode's end, they will be at odds with each other over the rebellion and June's efforts and Nick's place in Gilead. Which leads to Nick telling June in Gilead you have to "count on yourself."

Moira picking up on this or Moira seeing June distraught over the betrayal will lead to them having a conversation about June's feelings

June, like Lawrence and Aunt Lydia, wants Janine out of Jezebels more than she wants the Mayday plan to work. I could see them trying to bring in Lawrence and Aunt Lydia to their plans. Lawrence might be compelled to help to kill the commanders who want to kill him, and Aunt Lydia will want to help Janine.

I think it's also possible Nick and June have a mini mission of their own, or they have to hide together at some point

Possible ideas:

They are hiding because Wharton and Rose come back early

They have to try and get June out somewhere safer (maybe back to the Boston Globe if they can't get to the border or the Mayday camp)

They go back to Jezebels to get the map and/or Janine. It's clear Aunt Lydia, Lawrence, and June all want Janine out of there more than anything. It's a wishful thinking idea, but they have to start Aunt Lydia and Lawrence being more active with the resistance before the final episodes.

The Betrayal:

For the betrayal, I think what happens is that Nick stops the plan at jezebels from happening and rounds up/arrests the jezebels involved (which is why Janine is picked up by a guardian in a teaser and why she is back in a handmaids uniform later on), and he closes the trade routes to NB.

While I hope Janine is somehow safely sent back to Aunt Lydia, if she is captured this will go back on June's promise to her. It will also possibly put Luke in danger (hurting June), and trap Rita in NB/Gilead (hurting June).

But I think there are multiple ways this could go down and multiple consequences:

June asks Nick for help, but he doesn't help: Maybe June asks Nick to go back to Jezebels to retrieve the map and stuff from the safe to get to Mark/Mayday. He takes her back to the Mayday base or the Boston Globe, or her and Moira go hide together at the Red Center, but instead of getting the map for her he shuts the operation down instead. And June finds out she has to go hide somewhere else, or she finds out while she's already hiding somewhere else.

Nick already knows about the plan: June fills Nick in on the plan but he already knows because of the Eyes and he's already made the decision to stop it which he hides from her. June finds out while she's with him in real time (like if they are hiding together and overhear something in the screenshots above) that Nick already sent guardians to jezebels and closed the trade route. This would be peak drama and more of a "reveal." If this happens, I could see Aunt Lydia having to maybe rescue June from Jezebels or NB and take her to the Red Center. But I don't see Nick endangering June while she's with him.

Nick finds out about the plan and if forced to shut it down: I could see that Nick is feeling stressed hiding June and Moira and deciding how to help, and then he gets intel about the plan or a guardian gets to the safe before them. And this forces him to act to protect NB and possibly prevent other casualties because he can't let something like this happen after already killing the guardians. So it's less of him choosing to "side" with Gilead, but more that his position as a Commander makes him have to choose between June and his duties as a Commander while before he always used being a Commander to help June. But now it's inevitable that they are clashed.

Future Consequences:

June obviously will have a huge emotional fallout but will be inspired to do the wedding attack

Aunt Lydia and Lawrence could be in trouble if Nick's actions reveal that they were conspiring to help get Janine out of Jezebels. If this is the case Lawrence has nothing to lose and he agrees to work with Tuello

Nick's allegiance is solidified with Wharton at least for an episode, and maybe he seeks Wharton's guidance on what to do

Closing the NB trade routes could effectively send all the residents back into Gilead or accelerate the commanders dismantling it

This could tie into Serena trying to still reform Gilead (that scene where she is standing next to D'Arcy Carden's aunt wearing the shirt with a sparkly neckline) through NB ideals but it being an uphill battle

I think Aunt Lydia yelling "where is June Osborne?" is a ruse of some kind. Maybe in episode 6, but most likely after the wedding when the handmaids are on the run. But it's then discovered Aunt Lydia has been working with June since episode 6, and she is forced to the gallows as well

Other thoughts I can't piece together consecutively:

I don't see June spending a week in NB until the plan goes underway, so my gut says that she is there for a night or two especially since episode 6 is so short.

For the betrayal, I'm also curious if she will find out in real time while with Nick and have the chance to confront him and argue with him, or if it will be like season 3 where she finds something out and then is left to deal with the fallout alone.

This whole time I'd been assuming that she will be at the Boston Globe after being at Nick's, as that would make sense that she is in Boston already for Serena's wedding. But maybe June and Moira have to go back to the Red Center after the betrayal derails things. this would introduce them to D'Arcy Carden's character and would set up the scenes of making the new Handmaids outfits and compiling the packs of knives. I'd originally imagined that happening at the Boston Globe

[jb-nonsense]

The amount of times I've wanted to kill myself this year is probably a personal record

[fantasmadelaciudad]

i'll be honest thinking about las vegas makes me nauseous.

[mwagneto]

david thewlis holmes trailer right after cbs's matt berry holmes it's like there's a competition for worst holmes casting

[xoxoemynn]

gonna call out of work tomorrow due to a severe case of feeling tender as hell

[whentherewerebicycles]

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[rolandkaros]

sorry and now im just thinking about fanfic but i think my relationship to reading fanfic has changed so much now that im writing more and i kind of hate it because i feel like i cant read without feeling guilty that im not writing. like if i have time to read it then surely i have time to write it. which is not really fair to myself because reading (especially fanfic) takes way less mental energy for me than writing so i can read when im tired or distracted or busy or whatever but i cant write unless my body and brain are literally in perfect condition. but the result is that i feel so guilty about reading that i basically just reread old fics these days and dont read anything new because that is somehow worse (?) than rereading something ive read before which makes zero logical sense but thats the way it is. but then even logging on to ao3 stresses me out because i feel like im being a bad member of the community per se bc i havent read up on the latest stuff. which is literally so dumb! like so ridiculous and i know it doesnt make any sense at all but i cant help feeling bad about it anyway. ive read like three new fics since december.

[archiveofourpwn]

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[youjustcannotknow]

the weight of the world has crushed me flat on this fine afternoon

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

hey so my church is doing a youth group camping trip this weekend that's been in the plans literally since the beginning of the year, but now that we're in the final stretch, the weather is looking really really iffy. could y'all just pray if you don't mind that by some miracle the weather will be okay so this trip can go forward as planned?

[repotting]

I think I might be getting close to admitting that my food issues are nearing some kind of crisis point haha

[ananxiousgenz]

.

[theood]

Getting really tired how every time I mention talking to someone new my mom's like "omg lol! Move in with them! Lol! Have you thought about moving in with them? Lol? Will they take you? Lol. We're so tired of you complaining lol can you just move in with them? Lol!"

Like. Wow! I never fucking thought of that one! Damn mom! Wow!!!! Revolutionary.

It's so fucking annoying because if I COULD actually move out don't you think I would have done it now? Hell. I'd be towns away if I could. Anything to get out of this fucking house. Away from your parents. Away from the constant walking on eggshells I'm doing. Away from feeling like the only way I'll be safe is by ripping myself open until I'm raw and used. But I CAN'T.

And every fucking time like clockwork it's "oh move in with x lol!"

[starlit-mansion]

idk i've kind of been going through a phase lately where i feel like everyone around me has these unfathomable pits of passion for stuff (even if exhaustion/disability/burnout keeps them from doing as much as they'd want) and i am a distractible dabbler who never gets things done and never feels anything deeply. like i'm just kind of a placeholder person and YEAH that's mostly the depression talking but actually commiting to the stuff that i havent researched or proven myself about is probably the actual way to achieve that effortless expertise that everyone else seems to have