#I'm stressed I'm stressed I'm stressed and feel trapped

[saphig-iawn]

Usually turning someone into a toy of mine means making them so beautifully needy and pliable.

But tonight, I'm just feeling a little silly so I'm turning you into a Toy. The question now is, what toy do I turn you into?

Do I turn you into a jester-in-the-box? Hands trapped in clumsy white gloves, a perma-grin painted on your silly face, just idly bouncing in your chair on a spring.

Or perhaps a model kit? Simplify you into sprues and delicately clip and sand each piece before pushfitting them together. Getting accessory sprues to give you any look I want.

But then a little stress toy could be fun too. So fun to squish and squash. Putting all of you in my palm and closing it around you, feeling my warmth radiate through your form.

Oh I know. I reduce you even further. Make you barely recognisable. Reduced to a simple fidget toy, turning your sensitive areas into flickable analogue sticks and clicky buttons.

Would I even want to give you that many purposes? What if I boiled you down to one simple trick, and shaped you into a vaguely humanoid looking groan tube, but each turn of your inanimate form lets out a moan that comes deep from within your core as your sole and simple purpose is fulfilled in its entirely.

So many choices...

[jb-nonsense]

The amount of times I've wanted to kill myself this year is probably a personal record

[averlym]

fairest of the fair

[lord-squiggletits]

I'm not completely opposed to making Pharma a weird guy in general pre-Messatine, the main issue I have with it is that a lot of that type of fandom is less "what if he was just a weird little guy" and more seems to be written with the implication that Pharma went crazy because he was just always a little crazy (or a little evil, or a little heartless, etc). Basically, to me it downplays the fact that Pharma underwent massive trauma for two years straight that other characters barely survived for a few hours/days and instead frames Pharma snapping as some sort of... I don't know, genetic/fated downfall because he was just weird, he was always off, is it really any wonder Pharma ended up Like That because I mean there was always something a little weird about him.

It just seems to accidentally imply that Pharma snapping under the pressure of years of torture was some sort of moral failing or sign of him being weak/immoral. You know, Pharma was always kind of a little creepy/insane/evil deep down which is obviously why he killed people. If he were just a normal, not-weird, good person then he would've been mentally strong enough to Not Go Insane. Like uhhhh it just seems kind of fucked up to imply that the reason some people are unable to cope with long-term trauma and have violent/unhealthy coping behaviors is because there's just something innately wrong with them, and then try and look back on their whole life trying to contextualize how they were actually unstable and evil all along instead of just accepting that like. Normal people (tm), yes normal and good people, can be put in situations where they're slowly turned into broken monsters because they had no escape and no good choices.

And also it's equally fucked up to imply that like. Whether or not you can deal with psychological torture without snapping is some sort of function of how innately moral or mentally strong you are. Incredibly victim-blamey to basically go "well the reason Pharma went insane is because he was just always cracked in the head, unlike our good buddy-pal-friend-hero Ratchet who's the perfect doctor and a good Autobot who's never done anything wrong which is why when he's an asshole/hurts people he's not nearly as destructive or Weird About It."

It's not that "Pharma was always kind of crazy" can't be done, because anything can be written well with enough thought. But I think in terms of writing, it's a very difficult and nuanced line to balance and most people literally just can't do it without implying that trauma victims/mentally ill people are evil or something. And Pharma is already unfairly villainized enough as-is, and in canon his trauma was already downplayed in favor of "haha crazy doctor chainsaw go brrr look how weird and quirky and craaaazyyy he is." So it's one of those things where 1. Most people just aren't good enough to write it and 2. "Always a little crazy" Pharma is already oversaturated enough in the fandom anyways and it's enough of a battle to get people to recognize that he's a tragic character and not just an evil asshole.

[fisheito]

NoooOOOOOOO MORVAY NOT AGAIN!!! Two haloween s?? When will you be freee!! 💦💦💦

MR FATHER PLE AXSSE

[xoxoemynn]

gonna call out of work tomorrow due to a severe case of feeling tender as hell

[itz-pandora]

Huh. If my life was a quote, it'd be "one of those sad ones with a deceptively happy tune"

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

hey so my church is doing a youth group camping trip this weekend that's been in the plans literally since the beginning of the year, but now that we're in the final stretch, the weather is looking really really iffy. could y'all just pray if you don't mind that by some miracle the weather will be okay so this trip can go forward as planned?

[ananxiousgenz]

.

[blujayonthewing]

my mom is fishing for a specific opinion about this song my brother's working on and I don't know what it is

[aberooski]

I'm seriously hanging on by a thread right now I might just go drop dead 😭

[theood]

Getting really tired how every time I mention talking to someone new my mom's like "omg lol! Move in with them! Lol! Have you thought about moving in with them? Lol? Will they take you? Lol. We're so tired of you complaining lol can you just move in with them? Lol!"

Like. Wow! I never fucking thought of that one! Damn mom! Wow!!!! Revolutionary.

It's so fucking annoying because if I COULD actually move out don't you think I would have done it now? Hell. I'd be towns away if I could. Anything to get out of this fucking house. Away from your parents. Away from the constant walking on eggshells I'm doing. Away from feeling like the only way I'll be safe is by ripping myself open until I'm raw and used. But I CAN'T.

And every fucking time like clockwork it's "oh move in with x lol!"

[starlit-mansion]

idk i've kind of been going through a phase lately where i feel like everyone around me has these unfathomable pits of passion for stuff (even if exhaustion/disability/burnout keeps them from doing as much as they'd want) and i am a distractible dabbler who never gets things done and never feels anything deeply. like i'm just kind of a placeholder person and YEAH that's mostly the depression talking but actually commiting to the stuff that i havent researched or proven myself about is probably the actual way to achieve that effortless expertise that everyone else seems to have

[chaotic-history]

How are ya doing?

Not Great but we stay silly 👍

is this randomhistoryandmemes

[maulfucker]

oh god oh fuck I just had. A Thought.

ok so. remember when I said some posts ago that if I ever wrote a sequel to the sequel to Maul fucks some guy it would be a "I'm horny and it's making me go kinda crazy and I don't care we can pretend it didn't happen just fuck me" kinda thing. and remember I have a currently on hiatus wip about Maul warning Obi-Wan about Sidious before Dooku dies that involves them fucking in a spaceship. what if I. combined these concepts......

[mishkakagehishka]

Me when i dream of lil Mika but it's another nightmare