#I'm sorry to say that's the same reason to send money to someone who is 99.5% certainly a scammer.

[tardis--dreams]

I actually realized i hate work. Won't be putting any effort into this anymore ♡

[shitpostroundhouse]

Let's see, where to post this?

I'm not a fan of "age in bio." Wait up. It's not because I don't want people to be safe. I fully agree that people have a right to have safe communities both offline and online. There must be standards, litmus tests, things like that.

So at this point, every tumblr user is totally familiar with "age in bio," and why it's requested. Safety. But with how ubiquitous it is, tons of users must be lying about their age, and moreover curating fake profiles that easily sneak under the radar.

And the warning that no-age blogs will be blocked means that users check their new followers or rebloggers in order to do so. Any other number of litmus tests could be used to weed out blogs that don't seem right: Being tacky, gross, sexist, etc. It's pretty easy to tell, my guess is that it's at least as reliable as checking for an age on each blog that interacts with you. Probably more so.

I guess that's my rant done with.

If anyone who sees this would like to straighten me out about any of this, please do. I'm open to being proven wrong, honestly.

[berryz-writes]

Game Night

Azriel x reader

Summary: Game night with your mate and the IC. Safe to say your ready to fight Cassian. Mostly fluff at the end

I was inspired after the game of monopoly with my cousins. it was extremely chaotic😭

I leaned in even closer my head resting against his chest, his head ever so slightly resting on the top of my head. I was sat, very comfily, on Azriel's lap his wings cocooning us into a warm and peaceful environment.

"Az? Can you stop making y/n so comfy?" Mor asked from across the room choosing her character. I looked up at Azriel who had a small smile on his face. His hand tightened around my waist, his other hand continuing the circles he was making on my thigh.

"I will do whatever my mate tells me to do. If she wants to play she plays. If she wants to sleep she sleeps." Azriel said to Mor pressing a warm kiss to my head.

I sat up a little and slid off of Azriel's lap to sit next to him, he looked a little disgruntled but all the same kept his arm around my waist his left wing around my back. "She's right. I want to play but it's just- your too comfy." He raised an eyebrow at my statement. He was probably confused as to whether I was complimenting him or not.

"You can come sit on my lap, y/n" Cassian said grinning. Nesta whacked him on the arm, earning a surprised yelp from him. "Sorry, love. I didn't mean it" He muttered.

The monopoly game soon started and of course the rules were changing as the game went on. That was one reason why Elain had opted out and had instead taken up Lucien's request to join him for dinner. Her evening was probably more peaceful than mine was currently going.

I stood up ready to kick Cassian out of the game "Cassian! You can't just land on pay two hundred and then proceed to put it in the bank. It's supposed to go in the middle"

He stood up crossing his arms "It goes in the bank! NOT THE FUCKING MIDDLE! I'm not-"

"Watch your tone" Azriel interrupted, his voice threatening and causing Cassian to send me a wink "he's whipped" he mouthed at me, earning the middle finger from Azriel.

"Why is it going in the middle? I thought-" Mor added, trying to hide her money behind her so we wouldn't know how much she had. It was quiet obvious. 

"It's not, it goes in the bank. Where did that rule even come from?" Rhys asked, annoyed that the game had stopped because he was currently winning and he wanted to continue charging us every time we landed on one of his properties.

Feyre rested a hand on his arm to calm him down "It goes in the middle because when someone else lands on free parking they get the money. Otherwise what would be the point of landing on free parking if you don't get anything?" She tried explaining. Cassian just looked even more angry and Rhys decided it was best to agree with whatever his mate was saying.

I clapped my hands at Feyre "Thank you! At least someone knows the rules"

"I'm putting it in the bank, none of you even know how to play" Cassian snatched the two hundred from the middle and handed it to Azriel who was playing as the banker. Azriel shook his head putting the money back in the middle.

"It's not going in the bank, mate." He looked tired from all the unnecessary arguing that was going on.

Cassian tried to shove it in himself "It does! Just let me put it in"

"Hands off the bank or else your ass is out of the game" Azriel said. Cassian reluctantly took his hands back and crossed his arms looking angry.

"Cassian just put it in the middle! Someone else could end up with it. It could be you if you land on free parking" I said stretching out my hand for the money.

"Nes! A little help here" Cassian said to Nesta pleading with her. Nesta merely shook her head "You wanted to play. So play. Teams don't work in monopoly sweetheart"

After a few more minutes of arguing and a few more refusals of Azriel not accepting Cassian's money, he put it in the middle and the game carried on. Eventually Mor got the money and made sure to tease Cassian with it as much as possible.

"Whatever. We'll see who wins" Cassian muttered sulkily. Nesta patted him on the arm "I'm sure you'll win"

We all knew he wasn't going to. Rhys in fact won. Then it was Nesta, Azriel and then me and Feyre in joint fourth. Mor came second to last because she forgot she had stashed her money behind her and so became bankrupt. And last but not least came Cassian who kept landing on Rhys's properties and eventually had no money left. He survived for half the game, a new record for him. He seemed extremely pissed but all the same asked "So, should we play again?"

"If you mean without yourself then sure" Rhys said looking rather pleased with his win.

"How about a game of cards? They're a little less...chaotic" Feyre asked reaching for a deck of cards and shuffling them.

Everyone agreed, readying themselves to play. I wasn't really someone who enjoyed playing cards so I opted out and settled back onto Azriel's lap, resting my head in the crook of his neck. He smelt delicious like usual. Like wind, smoke, musk something so delightfully intoxicating. And something that made me sleepy. Everyone's voices had become more distant, almost as if someone had turned their volume down. All I could hear was the low hum of their conversation and feel the slight rumble of Azriel's deep voice whenever he talked.

I felt Azriel tilt his head slightly down to look at me. I looked up at him snuggling in closer to his warmth. I pressed a kiss to the underside of his jaw earning a small smile from him.

"We can go up if your sleepy" He said quietly so only I could hear. I shook my head resting my hand on his chest. "You need to win for the both of us"

His lips quirked up even more. Those perfect lips. Lips that I wanted all over me. "Sweetheart, your eyes are closing without you even realising" He brushed a strand of hair out of my face.

"No they're not. Win for me Azriel"

"Ok, love. Whatever you say" He pressed another kiss to my head and let his shadows cocoon me so I could just barely hear their conversation. It was almost like a lulling buzz in the background.

*later on

I woke up to find myself in our gigantic bed (Illyrian wings were no joke) my face pressed into his chest. One of his hand cradled the back of my head while the other was wrapped around my waist. His wings were behind him, the warm blanket being enough for the night. Although it wasn't cold I still liked the feeling of the heavy weight of his wings draped over me. It felt like we were safe. Nothing could pull us apart.

I looked up at Azriel to see he was already awake. He smiled at me. A small dimple appearing in his cheek, his hazel eyes full of warmth. I kissed his cheek and then left a small kiss on his perfect lips.

"Your cute when you smile" I whispered to him. It was still night outside but because the curtain was left open I could just about make him out in the moonlight.

"And your gorgeous every single moment of the day" His voice was deep and full of tiredness. I reached up, my arm trying to get to his wing. He let it drop closer to me so I could gently pull it down onto me until it was draped over me like I wanted.

"Not too warm for you, sweetheart?" He asked rubbing his thumb up and down my bare skin, where my nightshirt had ridden up.

"No. Now go to sleep, shadow singer." I nuzzled back into his chest and let myself fall into a dreamless sleep.

MASTERLIST

[alien-girl-21]

Since I won't see my friends until next year, I thought it would be a perfect time to do this again

Joker out and käärijä as random shit my friends say!!

(+ sneaky joost in one entry)

Under the cut because it's LONG

Kris: I actually miss Bojan, i'm going to tell him to come back from New York... but don't tell him I said that, it might get to his head that I actually like him

-

Bojan: writes on the board

Jan: is that arabic?

-

-Bojan's first time taking money out of the atm-

Bojan: what do I do now?

The screen of the atm: please select the language of your transaction

Martin: choose Slovenian, idiot

-

-at the airport-

Bojan: I'm going to get a pamphlet real quick

Jan: sure, I'll wait here

Bojan, coming back empty handed: I think I fell in love

-

Kris: in bojan's defense —not to defend him— but in his defense

-

Nace: hey, you wanna share this cookie?

Jan: sure

Nace: it doesn't break though, I already ate my half

Jan: you're an idiot, of course it can break, here, see? I broke it

Bojan: I ship you guys

-

Jan: -breaks a chair-

Jan: fuck, let me fix it -breaks the chair even more-

Jure: try to put the thing in that hole

Jan: -fixes the chair- Bob the builder 😎

-

(In the gc)

Jere: you want go party?

Bojan: I can't

Bojan: i'm sick and don't want to get worse

Kris: if Bojan isn't going, I'm not going

Jure: no fucking way 🤣

Bojan: I had to read that twice

Bojan: I was about to call him a bitch

-

Allu: if someone was killed while we were together, I think that Jesse, Jukka, and Jere would be the most level headed one's

Jesse: I think that Jere would be the one in charge to calm us

Jere: I would be making jokes like "at least we're better than that guy" and pointing at tommi's dead body

-

Jure: might go to this -shows a flyer for a singles only cruise-

Nace: only 99 euros? That's cheap... when is it?

Bojan: aren't you taken?

Nace: Oh fuck, I am

Bojan: apologize now

Nace, taking his phone out: I'm so sorry, babe

-

-during esc-

Bojan: okay, we're next, we can do this

Nace: -starts doing push ups for some fucking reason-

-

Jere: i go on stage now

Bojan: NOOO— i mean, YESSS

Jere: ?

Bojan: i'm just used to you leaving me alone :(

-

Jure and bojan: playfighting

Jure: now it's your turn, jan!

Bojan: jan wouldn't do that to me because he respects me 😌

Jan, getting ready to slap bojan:

-

(In spanish because there is no way to translate this dad joke)

Bojan: antes de que se me olvide, les quería contar un chiste: donde nacen las computadoras?

Jure: no sé

Bojan: en el mar

Nace: por qué?

Jan: porque navegan

Bojan: porque son peces

Kris: miren a los tremendos payasos que nos cargamos en esta banda

Bojan: 🥰

-

Host: for this, we're going to need groups of 6

Joker out: does a group hug

Bojan, tapping jere's arm: jere, jere

Jere: what?

Bojan: join us

Jere: really? Me? 🥰

Bojan: yes, you, you're part of the group 🥰

Kris: can you two stop?

-

Kris: do you have a pen?

Bojan, handing him a rainbow pen: yeah

Kris: gay pen

Bojan: at least it works

Kris: faggot

Bojan: I am! You have a problem with that?

Kris: I was talking to the pen! Not you!

-

Interviewer: Who would survive the longest in a deserted island?

Everyone: Jure

Bojan: I could survive, I think

Kris: I think that a coconut would fall on your head and you would die

-

Jesse: if a girl asked to peg you, what would you say?

Häärijä: no

Jere: skill issue

-

While watching a football game, in the gc:

Jan: well, i'm going to wait for the game to start while eating my cereal

Bojan: now I want some

Jan: the small box costs 2 euros in the supermarket

Bojan: you know what? I'm going to the supermarket now, i'm going to spend money because of you

Jan, sending a pic of the cereal box: here it is for reference 👍🏻

-

Bojan, after turning the washing machine on and somehow there was a power outage in the whole floor at the same time: ☹

Martin: hey, don't worry, it wasn't your fault, bojč

The electrician, a couple of days later: yeah, so, the outage was caused because someone used too much electricity in this apartment while someone was showering in the unit next to this one

Martin: so it was your fucking fault

-

Jan: I photoshopped us into some world cup images

Nace: it looks like Messi is kissing you, Bojan

Bojan: yeah

Jure: that's your dream right? Messi kissing you?

Bojan: yeah 🥰

-

Someone: yeah, so I spoke with the director, and he asked me if I spoke dutch and I said yeah

Jure: can you speak duch to us?

Someone, in dutch: I can, but what can I say? I just learned it to learn it, not because I liked it

Jan: okay, okay, Kris, it's your turn, reply in Dutch!

Jure: like we practiced

Bojan: literally jumping up and down like an excited puppy

-

Kris: this is bullshit, stupid fucking coordinators, they have shit in the fucking head instead of a stupid brain!

Jan: said the princess

-

-while playing volleyball-

Jure: just imagine the ball is your ex!

Bojan, cradling the ball in his arms: i'm so sorry, it was all my fault, I miss you everyday

Jan: great job, idiot

-

Nace: you look really good today, Bojan

Kris: yeah, your outfit is really well color coordinated

Bojan: thank you, krisko

Nace: and what about me?

Bojan: it's because Kris only bullies me, so a compliment from him matters more

-

Jure: idk if I'll be able to go out this Saturday, my parents are starting to make milk, and because of that I need to close their shop that night

Kris: making milk?

Jure: soy milk, yeah

Kris: Oh, I was about to ask since when did your parents have cows

Nace: moo

Jan: moo

^ they proceed to moo at each other for the next five minutes while the conversation carries on

-

Jere, just minding his business:

Häärijä, handing him a paper crown: you are now the queen of this realm

Jere: ❓

Häärijä: you will be the queen until we vote on who will be coronated next

Jere: thanks?

Häärijä: my pleasure, your majesty

-

Kris: I actually didn't call any of my exes while I was drunk last night, that's a great achievement!

-

Jere: hey guys, sorry if you hear me swearing, i'm playing a videogame..... FUCKING BULLSHIT

-

Jesse, after jere got the piña colada tattoo: hey can I see your prision tattoo?

-

Nace: remember to participate in the meeting

Bojan: i'm watching football

Nace: they're asking you a question bojč

Bojan: GOAAALLL!!!!!

-

Bojere, sitting chest to back in a bench:

Jan:

Bojan: Oh Jan, sorry that we're facing away from you

Jere: you want to hug me too? Join train?

Jan: yeah sure, let me just—

Jere: no! Don't touch me!

-

Kris: I would like to go back in time to meet Jesus and smoke weed with him

-

Käärijä: so, I'm walking to get to work, and I see a line of police cars and I'm thinking "I fucking hope that they don't want to do spontaneous searching because my bag is 90% weed, 10% my actual stuff"

-

Someone: yeah, this is my daughter, she's 4 and learning how to play drums

Bojan: that's your daughter? Oh my gosh 🥺

Kris: Bojan, you have a severe case of baby fever

-

Jere: where are the bathrooms?

Jukka, craning jere's head up to see the giant "TOILET" sign above them: over here

-

Kris: would you be with a guy?

Bojan: I'm bisexual, of course

Kris: what? 😱

Bojan: I already told you, you know this!

Kris: WHAT??

-

Joost, in the middle of having sex: babe wait, codnom broked :(

-

Kris: do you guys think the bouncer will let me in? I'm kind of tipsy

Jan: just go in confidently, he won't suspect a thing

Bojan: the last time he went in confidently he was banned from the club

-

Jan: so, how'd you sleep last night?

Kris: good

Jan: you don't seem so convinced

Kris: I slept in late

Jan: how late?

Kris: midnight

Jan: Oh, how blasphemous, how late

-

Kris, anytime they go to a new city: look at this door! I'm too tall to fit in it... look at this other door! I'm also too tall to fit in it... look at this door!

-

Bojan, about stephanie: she's the world cup and i'm bolivia.... but hopefully I'll be bolivia in '94 and she will still be the world cup

-

Jan: I'm not like Jesus, at all

Bojan: well, you kind of are in some ways

Kris: yeah, you only hang out with fags and prostitutes

Bojan, pointing at them: here you have three fags

Bojan, pointing at jure: and there's a prostitute

-

Jesse: why are you leaving everything for last minute?

Jere: because I fucking want to and I fucking can 😝

Häärijä, holding up the printed meme: 🐴🤝🏻🐴 no pelien

-

During a post-barcelona pre-party meeting:

Kris: I think that's all for today

Bojan: typing very loudly

Jan: who are you talking to?

Bojan: with someone 🥰 you know him already

Nace: ohhh the lovebirds 😏

Bojan: raising his hand up repeatedly

Kris: yes, Bojan?

Bojan: I'm really happy 🥰🥰 -instantly goes back to typing-

Kris: I'm happy for you, man

-

Jere after inflating five balloons for a party: well, my job here is done, time for my very well deserved rest

Jesse: get back up, you fuck, we need to move these chairs

-

Häärijä: bartender! Bartender! Bartender!!

Jere: I'm here, what do you want?

Häärijä: hi :) -leaves-

-

Bojan: sometimes I feel like I am batman and žare is the riddler

-

Jukka: you guys would be the worst clowns at a kid's birthday party. They would ask you for swords, and you would give them snakes

-

Kris, after seeing Jure having a sugar crash: someone give him a fucking celery or something, he's fucking melting on the couch!

-

Jere: you live life like it's last day, say sorry to people, hug people, even punch if you have to punch!

All of joker out: raising their fists to punch bojan

-

Jere: we only had a 5 euro budget for this secret santa so I bought one chocolate bar

Allu: it's not even wrapped!

Jere: wrapping paper is expensive!

-

During the secret santa:

Allu: I'm so fucking scared of seeing who jere got

Jere: so I had to buy something for...... Jesse!

Jesse: FUCK!

[taxkha]

i love your art so much i can't even describe it!! for the past year, every time i see it, it inspires me to create and improve so much i can't be jealous; i can only work harder hoping i can invoke the same feeling in someone else one day. your masterful use of loose lines and cozy colors never fails to make me happy on the rainiest day. do you have any tips for establishing such atmospheres, such as color selection or particular poses or expressions? (i don't write very well, sorry if this seems confusing) -an anon who appreciates your work to the fullest

Oh my god anon, you are so sweet, thank you so much (ಥ﹏ಥ) It means so much to hear I inspire someone to draw and I'm happy I can motivate you! <3 Please keep it up and I would love to see what you are making if you ever feel like sharing it! x) I'm so happy to hear my art has such a positive impact on you!! Okay so regarding your questions! When it comes to colors I recently made a coloring tutorial where I also went a bit into how I select colors, how I shade and what my go to effect layers are, you can find it here but it's also currently pinned at the top of my blog! I explained it in my tutorial but I will say it here again, I rely a lot on effect layers. That isn't wrong by any means and is what I would argue most digital artists do but if you want to learn actual color theory that goes beyond what colors compliment each other I unfortunately cant help with that on my own nor do I have any guides at hand to redirect you to :") Speaking of complimentary colors though, knowing your color wheel and which colors contrast each other already helps a lot! My favourites are green/red and orange/blue! To give some examples: green/red

These are less about an atmosphere achieved through lighting but more about the general subject matter of the piece. They are both more ominous and uh, bloody and threatening. And for Orange/Blue

The orange and blue combination is something you see in a lot of movies, for example Mad Max Fury Road or Blade Runner 2049 and many many more which have likely influenced me on what colors I chose in my art to some extend. Paying attention to media other than your own helps a ton and can totally improve on how you approach you art! Like, obviously I draw mostly anime/manga esque art and I get most of my inspiration from manga and video games, but I also try and look at buildings when Im outside, look closely at shot compositions in movies and so on! Other inspirations that have helped me are artbooks from my favorite games/shows/series, if you enjoy those x) Theres probably PDFs to be found of a lot of artbooks online if you don't want to spend money on them. I know you didn't directly ask what my inspirations are lol but they absolutely helped me! OKAY SO now about poses and expressions. Since you mentioned my loose lines, I have very good advice for that: Draw without erasing. Get a scrap book or some lose paper, cheap paper! And a pen you cant erase, such as a fineliner or a ballpoint pen and then draw. Do not go into it with the intent to make an actual good drawing, just. Draw! Draw half finished faces, hands, bodies, cats, whatever you feel like. Fill up the entire page. If you don't want to waste any paper, do it digitally but don't erase! Do that a lot. You will train yourself to draw loser and loser as time goes on. I've always had the habit of doodling onto everything mindlessly and I still do so I never had to actively practice drawing lose lines but thats most likely the reason why I draw the way I do! I actually have some examples from today because I got distracted at work:

I just draw whatever comes to mind until the page is full. I usually don't even keep these pages :") It has helped me a lot though. Uh yeah thats pretty much everything?? Thanks so much again for sending this ask, it was a very sweet thing to wake up to and I hope my rambles here can be of any help and to you good luck in your art endeavors!! :) <3

[lvr1989]

WILLIAMS LEE character x Reader.

My idea is to take William's character as bisexual. I hope whoever reads this enjoys it. sorry if there are mistakes, <3

Notes: I left it to there, I feel it can continue, if you feel the same let me know in the comments. Would you help me continue writing. ;)

Warnings: age ap but not much.

My only recommendation is that you can listen to this song while reading.⚘️

You are in a bar where each person has a special aura. There are groups of friends, there are lovers floating around, looking at each other between tables and then the marginalized ones who, despite wanting what is supposed to make you belong, can't even achieve it there, there is were you belong too.

You were a writer who had been lucky at the beginning, you wrote poetry all the time but you began to be interested in writing scripts, you tried to send some to certain production companies to make money and start making your name known, you dreamed of combining poetry and cinema. You had only one good opportunity but currently everything was going downhill, they rejected you, they called you corny, they rejected you fir being a woman, they wanted to modify important parts and the list goes on so you were very frustrated because you feared that your desires and dreams were running out as well as your saved money. Your last point of hope was Mexico where you had a friend couple, They invited you to stay as long as you need. Much of the day they are involved in their projects amd work so you started to make a habit of going to a bar a few blocks near his house to not really being a burden.

The bar was pleasant to look at although you saw raw things on more emotional levels, loneliness and anguish on faces filled with alcohol, but one night everything changed. It was a Thursday that for some reason you had been very inspired, writing for hours but without consuming alcohol, only coffee and soft things but the night arrived and you decided to go order a drink as a reward, when you approached the bar you felt an absolutely peripheral gaze intense and you had a kind of need to turn around and look at those eyes that were chasing you. You discovered the most charming and deep blue eyes like you had never seen before. This men was surprised that you turned with an honest look, not a grimace of disgust or seriousness like he usually received. He saw you and made a strange gesture that confused you a little but made you laugh, this exchange with this stranger made you smile but the bartender gave you the drink and brought you back to earth from the situation so you simply returned to your table, surrounded by books of poems and leaves.

You had your back to him where you were sitting, you had a view of the window, you liked that place because you can saw the night, the stars, this tiny part of the city, the houses with warm lights on inside, surely there were families you thought, that gave you a little comfort. But immersed in your world of writing someone surprises you, making you scared, but smile instantly when you notice who it was...

Williams: I'm sorry to scare you, I understand, I have a very particular face and even more so at this hour. He looks at his wrist with an imaginary watch.

Yn: It wasn't your face, I was very focused. You say kindly, observing his face now in more detail. He had quite admirable eyes but beyond the cliché of their color they had fire inside them in some way, they told a story as their wrinkles around their eyes traced a path, his hair quite soft and light, an impulse to run your hand through invaded you, you thought it sure looked like a fantasy in the summer, and a smile that surely had the last trace of innocence in that body, you sensed it.

Williams: With permission, i see you put together a kind of really interesting desk here.

He sat analyzing the names of the authors. For a moment you feared that he was a snob who would come to give you his opinion, you had experiences like that with men, but instead almost verbally he began to flatter your taste and ask you how you had obtained certain copies.

Yn: My grandmother who raised me worked in a bookstore and she basically gave me that as an education, now she is old and stopped working, one of my brothers maintains the store and from time to time he send things. You answered sincerely and a little intimidated by the strength of the attention this man gave you when he looked at you.

Williams: Wow, how interesting, I'm sure you have read a lot throughout your life.

Yn: Yes, honestly, but before asking you about your favorite authors, I would like to know your name.

Williams: My name is Williams Lee. I would like to know yours, beautiful lady.

Yn: *Smiling at that last added comment.* My name is yn.

Williams: Oh great name, I think I could write a poem based on it, give me a few days to recover from the amount of alcohol I ingested today.

You laughed at the confession although you found it bittersweet that he was there today and he's probably always watching time sink into addictions in places like this.

YN: I would like to hear it, does the version with a drink on and without a drink, change anything?

And by this point you two were already in a world immersed under a beautiful warm lamp with the contrast of the blue sea in the sky, it seemed to be meters away, there was something special about this man in front of you. So enigmatic, striking, hypnotizing, above all melancholy. You two talk a lot for a hours.

Williams: You know, I'm scared to do the non-alcoholic version, I'm afraid of what it might feel like. If half anesthetized I feel so much seeing you, it won't go away when I'm really at one hundred with myself.

Yn: You don't know how many times you blush, shaking your head while he laughs at your reaction. Hey I write poems too I can try, could be a great competition. You said with a more playful and lighter tone.

Williams: Done deal miss.

He gave you his hand. At that moment you felt strange, the softness of his palm impacted you, it gave you tenderness that neither of you two let go the other's hand, laughed about it when you two noticed it.

You two talked for a while, about books, some movies and ended up obviously talking about love.

Williams: if you like we can go outside to smoke, I'm sure there's more air than in here with these faces.

You understood what he meant, it was an hour where people's loneliness and sadness came out of their pores if you looked around you. you packed your things and left.

Outside you offered him your cigarettes and he gave you the fire to light it. He got too close to your face to help you light it on purpose, you blushed when, making a kind of tent so that the fire wouldn't go out due to the wind, he touched your face with his hands. Furthermore, his gaze so close to you penetrating made your heart race a little, you wanted to caress his face and take away all the weight of whatever was weighing on his head, which could be seen for miles.

Yn: Have you lived here long? Do you plan to settle here?

Williams: At some point I would like to leave and move on, continue living in other places. My relationship with this place is contradictory, it has given me a lot but I still resist certain things

Yn: I think we will never be as comfortable as we were in the innocent times when we lived in our native home. And not even that place sometimes welcomes us.

You say, looking far away, as if you were seeing the moments when you felt the feeling of family projected in the sky. You miss everything so much and at the same time you don't know what it is.

Williams looks at you this time without specific intentions, he looks at you, he looks at your eyes. He wants to hug you or touch your face but he fears that the extreme need that characterizes him so much will push you away and he seems like a weird stranger. You've known each other for hours but he never felt this connection before. However, something uncontrollable inside him gets the better of him and he runs the back of his hand tenderly over your cheek, he needed to be closer to you in some way or another. You closed your eyes and blew out the smoke of cigarette to turn around and end up facing him, showing that you felt the same need as him. And he continued with the same movement and something strangely impulsive, a very strange thing for you to be in “love” or with people you like because it really takes you a while to let you~ go. It seemed like Williams had uncovered something in you, a kind of suffocating desire, so at one point you held his hand through the up-and-down motion against your cheek and turned his hand over to kiss his palm. Kisses all over his palm, cautious but sweet.

Williams, for his part, felt out of breath, like when he takes drugs, even the times he had the most excess he never felt anything like that. Look at you dazed, feel you. And suddenly, in a nebula, everything around you ceased to exist, just the lights out of focus in the background and your perfume . You stopped kissing his hand and you two continued looking at each other intensely as if knew all the secrets about each other. You two began to get closer and now he held your face, giving you kisses around your cheeks, jaw, the sides of your mouth getting closer and closer, causing a sensation of indescribable heat and cold inside you, paralyzed but you wanted more, your eyes were closed it seemed like dreaming but you couldn't take it anymore so you took the initiative. You two melted into a kiss that denoted need and longing on both sides. He holds your face with a gentleness you didn't know he could have, and you twist the hair near his neck into a spiral. You feel like you haven't felt in a long time, you want more like a spirit took over your body. Your chest and his, increasingly closer, connect the beat of hearts in unison as if it were music. You lowered your hands gently down his neck and the kiss became more and more intense, you felt his tongue enter your mouth as if it were hunger and you moaned silently feeling like you coul die right there.

At one point you were running out of air and you broke away abruptly laughing.

Williams: I thought you were going to run away suddenly. You laughed at his comment and moved closer to him.

You two leaning against the wall under the night looking at each other, talking intimately in a bubble that isolated from the world. There was a little cool breeze so you didn't hold back and touched his hair, hair like wheat, he smiled, he lcoes that you do that. For his side he talked to you about the color of your lips and you eyes, babbling in a conversation just to continue sharing and flirting, having each other around to admire each other . He was so tall, big and wise, you sighed like when you were a teenager, felt like you had very rarely been listened and understood this way in your life. Immersed listening to you, he saw that you were in a position where you were just under the moon, so he remembered that his camera was in his bag and he surprised you by taking a photo.

Yn: You surprised me oh god. You two laughed together. You wished you had turned out well, you felt insecure for a moment.

Williams: you were just standing in a way that the moon was shining on you, it seemed absolutely necessary to capture the moment beyond that in my mind.

Yn: oh what a poet, I hope it turned out well.

Willlams: Don't get me started on how you look. You two peed at each other in silence with a smile after that, your heart felt like it was exploding.

Yn: I think it's getting late although I would love to see you again, I mean for the delivery of the poem and now I also want to take a photo of you to bec at hand"

Williams: Yes artist princess, of course there will be another meeting. You two laughed at the same time .

Williams: I can accompany you if you want, it's also kind of ugly to walk through the streets alone at this time of night...

Yn: Yes of course, I would also love to continue our very interesting talk about Greek authors.

Williams: Yes absolutely, I think the talk was interrupted by a slip, the best kiss someone gave me on my life, it doesn't matter.

You burst out laughing.

Yn: You will be my death.

To be continued…

[bellarkeselection]

1923 Spencer dutton

Before going to the war Spencer and you have a one night stand five months later you show up at the duttons crying because the towns people run you out of town you write a letter to Spencer and tell him your pregnant and he doesn't have to marry you because it was just a one night stand it meant nothing but you actually love Spencer unknown to you he feels the same

A lifetime of Lovin' You

Spencer Dutton and I weren't in a serious relationship when we finally kissed. No we were the opposite of the typical people in our lives. Especially five months ago before he went off to fight in the on going war. Spencer pressed my back against the soft bed mattress never breaking the heated kiss. He placed his hands on either side of me hearing me moan breaking the kiss. "If I die in the war this wouldn't be a bad last memory to have. What made you think of doing something like this?"

When he had asked me that question I wasn't really in my right state of mind. He was obviously attractive that was clear but that wasn't why I was attracted to him. Running my hands over his bare chest I leaned up wrapping my arms around his neck flipping him on his back with my hair falling in front of both our faces. "If I told you I don't think you'd feel the same way. So let's just say this is a one night stand thing cowboy."

He moved one hand up brushing my hair back running his fingers through my locks. I moaned when he tugged on it lightly where I tugged him closer rocking my hips against his hearing him moan too. Spencer rolled us over slowly kissing me at the same time when he enters me making love to me where I closed my eyes living in that memory everytime I fall asleep especially when I discovered that I was pregnant. Sitting down at a table in my house I sighed reading the letter address to him outloud to myself running my freehand over my almost fully grown stomach. "Dear Spencer, I lied to you when we slept together. I said there wasn't a reason as to why I wanted to be with you. The truth is I'm pregnant with your child and I love you too. I was just afraid that you didn't feel the same way. You don't have to come home after the war if you are alive. I don't want to pin you down to something if you don't feel the same way. I just thought you should know, your friend Y/n."

I sent the letter a few months ago with the one his aunt Cara would send. Now I was just sitting on his family's front porch listening to the rain hit while she was getting ready for bed. Resting my hands on my stomach I was due in about two months from when I wrote the letter. Yet there hasn't been any response which didn't surprise me. I never expected him to fail for someone like me. Foosteps came outside the front door where I noticed it was Jacob. He removed his hat sitting down beside me on the swing. "I'm sorry about the town kicking you out for being pregnant before you were married."

"I didn't expect my parents to just throw me out the way that they did. The titles of high society and the low common rancher shouldn't matter if you truly love someone!" I spat towards the man who had given me a room in his house without hesitation. My family had quite more money than the Duttons and had expected to marry me off but I had been a lifelong friend of Spencer so I couldn't just burry my feelings away.

Jacob stared at me silently reaching across placing his hand over mine on my belly. "You will always have a home here, Y/n. Here it don't matter where you came from the Yellowstone takes care of your own when you take care of the land. That baby inside you is half Dutton so you will always belong here."

Shutting my eyes I leaned my head back just taking in the quiet sounds of the ranch slightly happy that I was going to raise a baby here. Jacob's hand moved from mine causing me to lean up and see that there was a horse and buggy coming our direction in the middle of the night which was rather strange. "Who on earth could that be in the middle of the night?" I asked myself walking across the porch leaning against one of the stone pillars not being able to tell who was walking towards us in the middle of the night.

Jacob quickly opened the front door calling to his wife Cara who handed him a shotgun where he came to stand directly at my side shouting out into the darkness. "Put your hands up, trustpasser and identify yourself before I blow your head off."

"Don't shoot its me!" The figure shouted coming closer to the edge of the stairs seeing that they had their hands raised but I still couldn’t make out who exactly it was. “Y/n, it’s me. It’s Spencer.”

His name slips past my lips where I started rushing down the stairs until I about fell so Jacob looped his arm through mine helping me down the rest of the way down. “Spencer?”

“Y/n, I got your letter. I’m sorry it took me so long to get here. But you should know that I feel the same way about you.” He blurted out when my eyes adjusted to the darkness locking onto his soft eyes that hadn’t left mine the entire time.

Blinking my eyes a couple times I slowly stepped towards him not believing what he was saying was actually true. I never imagined that he would fall for someone who was raised to be a lady of high society and he was raised to be a cowboy on a long generational ranch. “Are you being serious, Spencer. I don’t want you to have come all this way because I am pregnant. I can raise the baby on my own so that you don’t have to be tied down to something.”

“I’m being completely serious. I don’t know why you would think that I wouldn’t want to be with the girl who may be a proper lady but will run around like a crazy cowgirl and get dirty all the same. You will always do whatever is best for others like telling me that I didn’t have to come back here, but I do. Because I love you. I love you more than - fuck it.” He cut himself short stomping cupping my face in his hands crashing his lips onto mine.

There was light rain going on when I came down the stairs but now you could feel it pick up heavy but I didn’t care to go inside. Wrapping my arms around his neck I moaned into the kiss realizing how much I truly missed him. “Spencer…I love you too.” I rasped out breaking the kiss trying to catch my breath with our chest’s heaving up and down.

“You two better your asses inside if you don’t wish to catch a cold.” The front door,opened but we didn’t pay much mins to what his aunt Cara was saying to us.

Spencer wrapped his arms around my waist tugging me up against his chest as close as he possibly could. His eyes were so full of love when they focused on me where I leaned up on my toes wanting to jump up and wrap my legs around him but my pregnant belly wouldn’t allow me. Lifting my head up we were soaked from head to toe now but I ran a hand through his hair too focused on the cowboy in front of me. “She will come outside and kick both our sass if we don’t come inside you know that right.” I giggled sending him a bright smile.

“Oh don’t worry darlin’. I ain’t leaving your side for a second when we go inside that house.” He nuzzled his nose in the crook of my neck whispering in my ear. “In fact I’m gonna let you know that we probably aren’t gonna leave the bedroom until the baby is born. Because I’ve got a lot of time to make up on and too many sleepless nights of not lovin’ on you.”

“Spencer!” He scoped me up bridal style where I wrapped my arms around his neck squealing with him rushing up the stairs kicking open the bedroom door dropping me down on the bed hovering above me where I crashed my lips onto his hungrily.

Comments really appreciated ❤️

[cupidspup]

I had an anonymous person ask me some questions about pacifiers, how to get then discreetly and stuff so here's my answer!! :D

Hi! Firstly I wanna say I really admire you asking around for advice and good job for that it's very brave! ໒꒰ྀིᵔ ᵕ ᵔ ꒱ྀི১ I'd like to say that we as the agere community are very focused on educating others but are also known to take care of others in the community and it makes me so happy that you trust me to help educate you! And to everyone who sees this yes, I am more than willing to answer any questions you may have :> this is my personal blog and safe space but I love chatting and I love helping others too! (Just know if it's advice or questions I'll answer when I do have energy :3) As a person whos nuerodivergent and has social/general anxiety i know it can be really hard and scary to do things! anywho! I'm real happy you asked and I'm happy to answer!

Yes, I do use a pacifier! I actually have a little collection if anyone ever wants to see hehehe૮( ˃ ꒳ ˂)ა anywho! Yes it is genuinely comforting and soothing to me! I usually regress between the ages of 0-6 but usually I'm very very small. I also tend to want a reason to be quiet and just use my random noises when im small too! It also makes me feel better about myself and my self esteem! I think I look cute with it and since I live with my partner/cg/little he thinks it's cute too ૮(˶˃ᆺ˂˶) The feeling of it generally feels full if that makes any sense? Everyone uses pacifiers for their own reasons but these are mine! If you're more of a chewer I definitely recommend getting a teething ring especially the ones with water in it (please be careful!!) It's a lil difficult to puncture a pacifier but not impossible either!

Still relating to pacifiers from above ^ please don't ever let anyone shame you out of having a pacifier or a teething ring or anything really, it hurts to know you have been ૮ ◞ ﻌ ◟ ა if it soothes you and isn't a problem to anyone else then there's absolutely nothing wrong with it and at the end of the day, it's your regression not anyone else's. You don't owe anyone anything ever (of course basic mutual respect but still you know what I mean-) pacifiers and teething rings and such are all your choice! Never let that become someone else's choices for you!!

As for obtaining one!! A lot of places on instagram offer discreet packaging! I can recommend my favorite places to buy if you guys ever want recommendations!! But anywho!! When I was a minor living in an unsafe home I did one of two things: given the money to a trusted person and had them send it to their house or another person's house that I trusted OR bought it and sent it to a safe person's house! Of course I told the person what I was doing and I did it with their permission!! They would give it to me when we saw each other :3 please do not use pacifiers meant for real biological babies though!! They will hurt and possibly damage your teeth! If you do ever resort to that (which is highly not recommended) please use it very minimally, do not fall asleep with it and only use it for absolute emergencies. Same goes for other little gear such as sippy cups!

If you don't have a safe person you can tell and have some sort of situation worked out with them I am very very sorry and there isn't much I can do to help :< but!! What I can do is tell you what I did before I had any little gear! I would typically suck on the knuckle of my index finger! Just yknow, curl my finger and suck on that! Of course please don't do that too hard or bite it was only something to soothe and keep myself satisfied for the meantime! :]

That is all I can say for now! I hope everything I said cleared up stuff for you and I hope you can get into a better household soon!! I know it can be hard but know that your regression is a sacred thing, protect it and share it with people you trust 🩷 that I'd the best advice I can give you as an adult regressor (who has many regrets 💀)

With that said!

You are loved and you are cared for, you're always welcome on my blog :]

𓂋

- ꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ Kewpie

[scarletwinterxx]

for the hope of it all - haechan imagine

hello💛 it's been a long time since i wrote something this longggg, ngl it took me months to finish this. and i'm inlove. (with this story and hyuck🤭) happy holidays! it's been such a rollercoaster of a year, i'm glad to have been a part of your year as much as you are a part of mine🤍🥺 hope you like it!

if you have a request or scenario you want me to do, just send me a message I'll see what I can do😊💌

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

and if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2023 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)

No matter how many times Haechan denies it, his friends would think the exact opposite. In the words of his good friend Huang Renjun, the reason why Haechan never shuts up is because he’s so in love with himself he just loves the sound of his own voice.

Rightfully so, Haechan always reasons out. Why would he not love it when he consistently scores high 90’s whenever they have karaoke nights. One game he know he doesn’t have to cheat his way into winning.

"Oh god, shut up please" Renjun groans

"What, I'm right though. If only I work out a bit more, I'm sure I can beat Jaemin on arm wrestling. Give me until the end of the year"

"I'd give good money to see that" Jaemin mumbles

"You'll bet on me right?" Haechan asks Renjun

"That's stupid, here why don't we make a bet. I bet you can't keep your mouth shut for the rest of the night" Renjun proposes, he knows just how competitive Haechan can get.

"If I win?"

"I'll be your personal slave for a week"

"Make it a month" Haechan negotiates, waiting for Renjun to say yes.

"Deal" Renjun says, knowing his friend would last 5 minutes. "If I win, you'll be my personal errand boy" Haechan rolls his eyes, acting like he's zipping his lips and throwing the key away.

"Goodluck with that" Jaemin laughs, waiting to see who wins. He knows Renjun would, Renjun is never wrong.

"Who needs another drink?" Jaemin asks, ready to stand up but Haechan stops him. "Oh, you haven't lost yet but since you're offering. I'll get 1 more beer" Jaemin tells him

"Same here, make that 2 more"

Haechan salutes to his friends before walking away, keeping his lips shut tight. If there's something Haechan loved more than his voice, it would be proving Renjun wrong.

He grabs four more beer cans from the cooler, trying to hold all in his hands. When he turns around he accidentally bumps against someone or something, losing his grip on some of the cans.

"Oh shit, sorry. Wait I'll get that"

Before Haechan could say anything, the other person was already leaning down to get it.

"Here, sorry again" standing straight back up you hand Haechan the cans, only to see him just looking at you

"Uh you okay?" you ask, he just nods

"Okay, well I'm gonna go now. Sorry again" you mumble then excused yourself, walking towards the other room. Haechan wanted to punch himself, he wanted to say something he should've said something.

He don't even know you and yet he was ready to lose the stupid bet with Renjun even if it meant he'll be a personal slave.

"Dude, I just bumped in with the prettiest girl I swear I need to find her. God that was stupid, I looked stupid I just stood there. I didn't even ask for her name. What the fuck was wrong with me, now I'll never find her again. What if I never find her again?"

Renjun and Jaemin just share a confused look while Haechan rambles on

"What the fuck are you going on about?"

"The mystery girl! My mystery girl! I let her get away" Haechan groans, slumping down on his previous seat sulking like a little child who didn't get to buy his favorite candy.

"You know you just spoke right?" Jaemin asks

"Fuck that, I already missed my chance" Haechan grumbles

"I'm sure you'll find her again. Now open that beer for me" Renjun says,

"Why don't you open it?" Haechan sneers at his friend

"Well I won right, why would I do things I'm fully capable of doing when I have you?" Renjun teases Haechan, taking one of the cans to open it only for the can to burst out

"Oh fucks sake" Haechan shouts while his two friends doubles over with laughter, tonight is definitely not his night.

Ever since that night, Haechan has been on the look out for his mystery girl. Hoping fate is on his side and he'd bump into you again but it's been two weeks and not a single sign of you.

"Dude, I'm dying here. Can't you help a friend out?" Haechan exaggeratedly says as he takes the seat beside Jaemin

"And what can I help you with? Finding your mystery girl?"

"You know her?"

"No"

"You should be nicer to me, I literally woke up for this. I don't see Renjun doing this for you" Haechan glares at Jaemin

"Can you just order coffee, please. We need to finish this report by 11" Jaemin brushes him off, too busy typing away on his laptop

He copies Jaemin's order mockingly as he makes his way to the counter. Busy scrolling on his phone, he didn't pay that much attention around him.

When he got to the counter, he orders for him and Jaemin only to find that he forgot his card. Again.

"Shit I don't have my card, can you wait a moment my friend's over there"

"Sorry can't hold orders" the cashier says

"I literally go here everyday, he's right there. I don't have cash on me"

"I got it, here's a 50" someone says from behind him, sliding the money on the counter which the cashier takes with a smile

"Thanks, here's your change" the cashier says, handing the change to you. Only then Haechan looks back to see you.

"It's you" he mumbles

At first you weren't sure he was talking to you, so you didn't notice. But then you feel someone's gaze on you, he seemed familiar but you can't quite place where you met him before.

"Have we met before?" you ask him

"yes, yea I mean yes at the party. You helped me with the beer"

"Oh, that was you. Hi, guess I saved you again" you joke

"Yea, thanks I owe you. Twice. I'll pay you back though, give me a moment" he leaves while you order

"Hey, give me money" Haechan tells Jaemin, his friend shoots him a confused look "Quick! I'll pay you back, okay thanks" he takes the money quickly before jogging back to where you were waiting for your order

"Here you go, and next time I'll buy you coffee. For you know the first time you saved me" he smiles at you, hoping it would work

"Don't mention it" you answered with a smile. Someone calls from the counter, guessing it was yours because you went to take it. Remembering your name this time.

"Wait uhm can I have your number?" he's never been nervous to ask someone their number but right now he can feel his palms get a bit sweaty.

"Haechan right?" he nods at your question

"I have a feeling we'll see each other again, I'll give it to you then" you smile then walk away.

"Why not now? What if we don't see each other for a long time?"

"Then you'll have something to look forward to, see you around Haechan"

Leaving Haechan to watch after you mesmerized.

He already knows he'd wait all day or week or no matter how long just to meet you again. It's like you got him under some spell.

Haechan walks back to their table, holding his and Jaemin's coffee.

"Why are you smiling like that? You're scaring me"

"You can't ruin my day. This is like the best day ever. Give me the handouts I'll do it" he tells Jaemin, taking the laptop from him and getting to work.

"Why why why did you drag me here?" Haechan grumbles as Renjun practically drags him by his sleeves to the art wing.

"Because I need to talk to Chenle about something and you're driving me home. But knowing you, you'd probably forget and leave me, so I'm taking you with me"

Renjun lets go of his sleeve to get his phone, "Yah Zhong Chenle, I'm here. What do you mean? Okay and? Fine what's her name?"

Haechan wasn't listening to the conversation, making himself busy by reading some random flyers on the wall when suddenly he hears another voice speak

"Hi, sorry are you Renjun?"

Haechan knows that voice, immediately he turns his head and there you were speaking to his friend

"Y/N?" Renjun asks, "It's you" Haechan mumbles

"Yea, here's Chenle's stuff. He left earlier and forgot about it. Good thing I was still here" you explain with a smile, both you and Renjun still oblivious to the boy smiling stupidly on the sidelines.

When you sensed someone looking at you, you looked over to the side to see Haechan already looking at you

"Hi, you're Haechan right?"

You remember him. You actually remember his name and you really did meet again. Haechan internally panics.

"You two know each other?" Renjun asks, you just nod your head. "Yea, I kinda saved him twice" you joke

Renjun looked back to his friend before looking at you again, "He's being weird, I think it's time to go. Thanks again" Renjun waves bye at you.

You say goodbye and watch him walk away, expecting Haechan to follow but he stayed behind

"You okay?" you ask

"You said you'd give your number when we meet again" he blinks at you, "I did?" you chuckled. You do recall telling him that, not expecting him to remember it though.

"Yea"

The two of you stared at each other, he was just about to say something again when suddenly you smile at him and it's like the wind got knocked out of his lungs.

He takes his phone out only to see it dead, he looks up at you like a kicked puppy. You can't help but giggle. You take a pen from your back pocket then you took his hand. Writing on the back of his palm as gently as you could, "There. Call me if you need saving again" you joke, "I guess I'll see around" you add before saying bye and walked back inside the room.

"Yah Lee Haechan! What are you doing?" Renjun shouts at his friend, breaking him from his stupor

"That was her! Renjun that was her!" He runs excitedly towards his friend, looking at your number written at the back of his hand

"Who? What the hell are you talking about?"

"That's the girl I've been talking about. This is fate, we met a few times now. And look she gave me her number"

Renjun has known Haechan for a long time, he has seen his friend in different situations but never once has he seen Haechan act like this. Be this excited, not even when he beats Jaemin when they play games. Or that time he won over Renjun when they played monopoly.

"Oh god, if this is how you act when you're in love please spare me"

The next time he sees you is during the town fair. Some of the fraternities and clubs from university participated in the booths so a lot of students were roaming around.

He has sent you a few texts since the last time he saw you and he could never get past the introductory stage. It's obvious he's attracted to you, but to him that's not enough. Being attracted to someone can just mean you like them physically, he wants to know you. What you like, what you don't like. How you drink your coffee in the morning, what your favorite song is and all of that.

It's kind of silly to be this invested over a girl he met only a few times but there's just something about you that enchants him.

And just like that, it's like the universe heard his thoughts. There you were standing amongst the crowd, like that slowmo moment in movies when everyone else disappears and all he can focus on is you. Before he can stop himself, he's already walking towards you.

"Hey" someone said from behind you, making you turn around.

"Oh hi, I haven't seen you around campus and we finally meet here" you smile at him and Haechan swore your smile is brighter than all the lights in this carvinal fair combined.

"Yea, been busy. Are you alone or are you with your friends?" he notices

"Just me, I asked Chenle to come but he said he has basketball training. He's my blockmate and friend"

He wanted to be your friend to, he wanted to be more than that. He wanted to be just someone to you. He thoughts.

"Have you gone on any of the rides?" he asks, you shook your head

"Want to come with? I can join you" he offers

"You sure, didn't you come with your friends?" you ask back

"Nah, I mean I did but I already lost them so I guess I'm coming with you. If that's okay"

"Sure, kinda afraid of that ferris wheel though" you say, pointing at the tallest ride.

"Noted, we won't even come near it. How about we just walk around and check out the booths?"

That's how you spend the next few hours, playing games, trying out the food and just having unexpected fun with this guy.

When the sun was just about to set, you stood by the barriers to watch it. Loving how the colors of the sky change, you admire it like it's the first time you're seeing this happen.

While your attention was on the sunset, the boy beside you was very captivated by you. Haechan couldn't tear his eyes off you. He pulls his phone out to capture the moment,

"What was that?"

"Mhm?"

"Did you just take a picture of me?" you ask him

"Yea" Haechan answers carefully, scared that he might have overstepped your boundaries. "Sorry, I should've asked first but you looked pretty. I mean the moment looked pretty so I uh yea" rubbing the back of his neck as he tries or more like fail to explain

Instead of getting mad at him, you just laugh. Smiling at the boy beside you. "That's a fine, the sunset is beatiful" you mumble

"I meant you" he said, "Huh, that's a first"

"Nobody has ever taken a picture of you?"

You shake your head before speaking "Being called pretty, even though you took it back a second after saying it" you tease him

Looking straight ahead again, watching the sun disappear from the horizon. From your periphery you can tell he was still looking at you, "I didn't it say so I can fish out more compliments from you, I just thought about it so I said it. I'm being cynical again, don't mind me"

"You're beautiful, you know? And I'm saying that because that's what I can only think of right now" he tells you, his eyes never leaving the side of your face. He was committing every detail to his memory, this moment can be one of new core memories.

"Can I see the picture you took?" you ask, changing the subject

"I'll post it, you can check it there. Don't worry, you look cute there" he says as he put his camera away

"Hey Hyuck, thank you for today. I was getting stressed with school, this was like a breath of fresh air" you tell him, resting your cheek against your arm.

He follows your actions, eyes staying on yours

"Anytime, you can call me anytime. It's always good to watch the sunset after a long day, reminds us that even the long hard days end"

"Yea, I like the sunset"

"I can be your sunset, when you have a tough day just call me. I'll try to make it better" he tells you, voice sounding like your favorite tune.

"Okay" you mumble, a few moment passes just looking at his features being kissed by the last light of the day before it disappears.

Suddenly, you think endings aren't that bad after all. If this is how all your days end, if he's there to promise another tomorrow to you then maybe that one movie line was right. Sometimes endings are the best part.

After that, you and Haechan started to grow closer together. When you're not texting, you're on a call with him. You sometimes spend your vacant period and study in the library together.

You also notice how attentive the guy is towards you. You're not naive, there's definitely something there but for now you don't say anything. You don't want to assume, because what if you're the only one who thinks that way.

So you just let things happen, let fate run its course.

Props to Haechan because he is a very consistent guy.

"Hey Y/N, your boyfriend's here" Chenle says when he entered the studio, earning a very confused look from you

"Huh? Who?"

"Dude with brown hair, friends with Renjun"

You try to piece his description together, only to think of one person

"Haechan's here?" you ask, putting your brush down

"Yea outside, hey you're still wearing your apron!" he shouts after you but you were already out of the room

"And she tells me she doesn't like him like that" he says to himself with a chuckle.

Meanwhile you walk towards the entrance and sure enough Haechan is standing there. "What are you doing here?" you ask, catching his attention. Immediately he smile at you, striding across the hall to stand directly infront of you.

"It's raining, you hate going home in this weather so I just kinda took a chance if you're still here. Good thing I bumped into on of your classmate" he says, referring to Chenle

"Didn't your class end early?" you ask him

"Yea, I went back to my dorm then it started to rain. So I came back"

"You came back? For me?"

"You hate the rain" he says as if it was the only explanation he got when in reality he really wanted to see you today. The both of you have been very busy so apart from the few messages, you haven't gotten the chance to hang out. Reality is, Haechan couldn't wait another day to see you again.

"Did you bring an umbrella?" he asks you when you didn't speak, shaking your head to answer him

He chuckles before showing you the bright yellow umbrella he brought, "Good thing I came then"

"You didn't have to"

"I wanted to, we haven't hung out in a while. You probably buried yourself again with work, you need to rest" you were just about to say no but he takes your paint covered hand

"I can't wait to see your next masterpieces, I'm sure it's all precious to you and you want to finish it. But you're precious to me too, so I need to take care of you" he says, looking down at your hand in his. Smiling at how perfectly it fits right there.

You can ask a thousand question and he will always come back to you with an answer. Not once since you met him did he ever make you feel any sort of doubt.

"I'll just go grab my stuff" you tell him, giving his hand a squeeze before dropping it. Walking back to the studio to get your bag. Chenle was already gone, probably took the other way when he went. So you get your bag, took your apron off, turned off the lights before walking back to where Haechan was.

He spots you down the hall, taking your bag from you to sling it on his shoulder. "Ready to go?" he asks you

You nod, "Thank you, you saved my day once again"

"What did I tell you? I'll always be here to make your tough days better" he smile at you before throwing one arm around you to pull you closer, he opens the umbrella with his other hand making sure it covers you.

You did hate going anywhere in this weather. If you're home right now, you wouldn't mind it that much. Being out and about when it's raining stresses you out. You always feel anxious about commuting or driving or going anywhere when the weather is bad.

But right now while sharing this yellow umbrella with the boy you potentially like, you don't hate it as much so long as he's there to hold you and walk with you under the rain shower.

"It's your birthday soon, got any plans?" Haechan looks over at you, waiting and hoping for a favorable answer. One that would go well with his plans.

You shake your head, you weren't even aware "Didn't even know it's August already"

You didn't like making a big deal out if it, to you it's another normal day.

"So you're not going out?"

"Probably not, it's a weekday so I might have a class. I'll just go to the studio if I don't have any class that day. Why?"

"If you're not busy, do you want to have dinner? with me? do you want to go get dinner on your birthday with me?" he asks you, feeling nervous for no reason. He practiced this in his head many times but he can't say it straight now that he's saying it to you.

You giggle at his question, "Dinner? Sure"

"Really?"

"Yea, I don't have anything planned" you shrug

"Okay, cool. Uh how does 6pm sound? You can come by at my place" he tells you, he can feel the heat rushing to his cheeks. Hoping you don't notice it, you do.

"Okay"

Fast forward a couple of days later, it's your birthday. When you woke up you had one message, sent exactly at 12:01 am from one Lee Haechan.

"Happy birthday, I wanted to be the first one"

That alone was enough to make you smile for the day. You prepared for the day, did some school works until it was time to go over at Haechan's place.

Ringing his doorbell once, you waited for him. You hear a click then the door opens, Haechan welcomes you with a smile.

"Hey! You're here, happy birthday" he greets you, letting you in before closing the door behind you. You walk inside his place to see the table set up, looking back at him

"You cooked for me?" you ask him, trying to fight the smile making it's way on your lips but you fail

"Yea, it's your special day and I know you'd like this ten times better than going out. Plus I got you cake, wait did you want to go out?" he asks, worried he just ruined the night. It's your birthday, the first one you'll celebrate together so he wanted to make sure it was special.

You didn't say anything at first then you jogged to where he was standing, throwing your arms around his shoulders to engulf him with a hug

"I love it, thank you thank you" you tell him, Haechan can hear the smile in your voice and just like that his worries were washed away. He puts his arms around your waist to lift you up, hugging you tighter. He kisses your temple, "Happy birthday, I'm glad I got to meet you in this lifetime"

You pull away from where your head was buried to look at him in the eyes, "Me too, I hope all versions of me meet their version of you"

He smiles at you, setting you back down on your feet again.

"Let's enjoy this dinner then, how about a movie after?"

"Sounds like a lovely night" you beam at him

"Oh I got you something, it's not big don't worry. Just something you might need, I thought of you when I saw it"

You take the bag from him, opening it excitedly to see what's inside. A yellow thing catching your eye, when you take it out you see it's a big cute scrunchie. You did mention you needed a new one.

"It's cute thank you, I need one when I do work at the studio. This is perfect. Thank you, Haechan. Really this whole night is perfect. I don't like celebrating this day but maybe it isn't too bad when I get to celebrate it like this"

"Then I can say mission accomplished, if you're happy then that's all that matters. It's your day today, I wanted to celebrate this day with you"

You smile at him, hugging him again. Immediately he hugs you back, resting his cheek on your head he hears you mumble

"Thank you"

It's past 10pm, yet again you were too busy finishing your work to even check the time. You remember telling Haechan you'll text him when you get home but you're still at the studio.

"You're still here?" someone asks, making you look behind you. Chenle standing by the doorway, "I thought I was the last one here" he adds

"Just need to finish this piece, I'm just cleaning up actually"

"Surprised to see you here, it's raining cats and dogs outside" just then you here the rumble of thunder outside

"Headphones" you tell him, "Well you better go now, traffic is bad. There was an accident in town. A few cars piled up" He tells you

"Oh that sounds bad, was anyone harmed?"

"Not sure, Jisung just texted me on his way home to find another route since it was still there when he passed by. I think it's near your place too"

"I should go now then, maybe I'll take a cab" you say, picking your bag from the floor and following Chenle down the hall

"Oh wait Haechan was asking for you, I thought you went home earlier so I said you're not here anymore" Chenle recalls seeing Haechan outside the building maybe an hour ago

"What do you mean Haechan was here?" already your mind was racing, a hundred bad scenarios playing

"He went out to find you, I don't know where he is- HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING IT'S POURING OUTSIDE!" Chenle shouts after you but you were already out of the building.

You weren't sure where you were running off to, but when you heard there was an accident near your place you got this bad feeling in your chest.

"Y/N? What are you doing there?" Renjun asks, rolling down the window the car, you spot Jaemin from the driver's side. They also had a late night at campus, not expecting to see you running outside at this hour of the night when Haechan left to pick you up earlier.

"Haechan? Where's Haechan? I need to see him" you utter, the rain beating down on you. The two guys share a worried look, Jaemin already searching for an umbrella inside the car while Renjun throws his jacket over him before running over to you to get inside the car

"Haechan" you say

"We don't know where he is, have you tried calling him?" Renjun asks, you nodded your head. You did try but he wasn't answering, now you don't even know where your phone is

"I'll call him" Jaemin says, taking his phone to quickly dial his friend's number. After a few tries still no answer

"Can you drive near my place, I heard something happened. What if-"

"Hey don't freak out, I'm sure he just forgot to charge his phone again" Renjun comforts you as Jaemin drives away.

Due to the heavy rain and accident, the traffic was bad. You couldn't wait another minute so for the second time tonight you ran through the rain

"Yah Y/N, where are you going?!" Renjun shouts as he watch you run through traffic

"I really hope Haechan's okay" he mumbles, looking over Jaemin who is calling Haechan again hoping the other would pick up.

Running as fast as you could, you finally reached the block before your apartment where the crash happened. You look around the busy street, police were still there but no sign of any medical personnel.

You look left and right, turning your head over and over again trying to see a familiar face.

Haechan was getting worried, it's late and raining hard. He should've charged his phone but he left his charger at home, now it's dead and useless. Wondering where you are at the moment, then he looks outside again to check if they're letting cars through.

Something catches his eye, someone running by. It was as quick as a second but he knows that yellow scrunchie, he can tell from a mile away.

Without a doubt, he gets out of the car to chase after the person. There he sees you standing in the middle of traffic looking terrified. Then he was screaming your name, he needed you to see him, he needed to be close to you this instant to ask you what's wrong.

You don't know if you were dreaming but you definitely heard him, looking around again you see someone standing a few cars back. You hear it again.

Then you were running. Leaping straight into his awaiting arms, throwing your own around him trapping him there like you were afraid he was going to float away.

"Hey, you okay? What were you doing running through the rain? You're gonna sick" Haechan tells you but you can't hear all his word, the sound of your own beating heart was louder.

"You're okay" you keep on repeating, when he felt you calm down a bit he broke away from your embrace but still kept you in his arms,

"What happened?"

It's like a switch has been flipped because the next second you were hitting him, "Ouch! what I do?!" Haechan asks

"You weren't answering your phone! I thought something bad happened to you! I couldn't find you, I thought-" then you were crying again, hoping he can't tell since it's still raining. Your tears mixing with the raindrops but Haechan knows.

Instead he just takes your face in his hands, cradling it ever so gently to comfort you.

"I'm okay, I'm right here see. I'm sorry, I'll call next time"

"You scared me" you mumbled

"Sorry" he tells you with a small smile, those three words were more than enough confirmation for him. He knows just how much you hate thunderstorms, your love and hate relationship with rain. And yet here you are, running through the worst weather because you were looking for him.

He hugs you again, "I'm here" he tells you

"Let's get you out of this rain, we're both gonna get sick" he says as he guides you back to his car. Once the two of you settle inside, Haechan turns the heat on and looks for something else to keep you from freezing.

"Wait, Renjun and Jaemin was right behind me. I need to text time but I don't know where my phone is" you say

"Well my phone is dead, I'll text them when we get back"

He was just about to say something else when someone knocks on his window, it was Renjun. "Did you see Y/N? She dashed away- Oh you're there. Well then, make sure you take a warm shower when you get home. Also next time, charge your phone please" he tells Haechan before waving goodbye to you.

Haechan lets out a chuckle before rolling his windows up, looking over at you again.

"You okay? Do you need anything?"

You shook your head, rubbing your hands together to generate some warmth. Now that you've finally calmed down, you can definitely feel the cold. Haechan ofcourse notices this, taking your hands in between his before putting it against his lips. Blowing gently on it to keep you warm.

"Next time, I promise I'll text you when I go out this late or when I leave somewhere so you don't go out running in the rain. You could've gotten hurt or worse"

"I don't know what I was thinking, I wasn't even thinking. You weren't answering your phone and then I heard something happened here, my mind freaked out" you tell him, watching him continue his actions of rubbing the back of your hands and blowing on them

"You were really worried about me?"

You chuckled, "I forgot I was scared of thunder and rain. I don't think I would even mind if a lightning struck right infront of me" you tell him. And it was the truth. Your fears were outweighed by your worry for him. It didn't matter to you, all you needed was to see him.

"I'm glad you're okay" you whisper, Haechan smiles at you putting down your hands. He then cradles your face again, leaning over the console to get closer to you. Tilting your head down a bit to kiss you on the forehead.

When the two of you arrived to his dorm, he immediately got towels to help you dry off. He showed you the bathroom to change, giving his extra clothes.

While waiting for you, he changes also then goes back to the kitchen to prepare hot chocolate for the two of you.

"Thanks for lending me your clothes" you say from behind him, when he turns around it's like his heart leaped out of his chest.

It's not that big of a deal, but seeing you in his clothes does something to him. He's pretty sure he's blushing right now.

"Yea sure, uh I'm making hot choco" he stutters, if you noticed you don't comment on it and he silently thanks you for it.

The two of you sit on his couch, waiting for the rain to stop while sipping on your hot choco.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure" you answer

"Why don't you like the rain?"

"Something happened, I got in a minor accident. I was driving home from school too, it was raining hard I couldn't even see the road. The car swerved off the road, thankfully I wasn't badly injured but it was very scary. I hated going out when it's raining ever since" you explain while Haechan listens attentively

"I'm glad you're okay" he mumbles

You chuckle, putting the mug down before pulling your legs up to hug them. "I was in high school, ever since I couldn't drive at night or when it's raining"

The two of you talked about everything, he wanted to know all about you and here you are letting him. You didn't even notice how the time passed.

"Hey the rain stopped" Haechan suddenly says

"Oh yea, I guess I should go. Oh wow is that the time" you see it on the wall clock since your phone is still nowhere to be found, probably left it in Jaemin's car earlier during your mini freak out.

"I can drive you home" Haechan offers

"It's late, I can take a cab or walk"

"Absolutely not, I'm driving you home. Come on" he pulls you up, holding you by the arm.

"Hey Haechan"

He stops, looking back at you. "Yea?"

"I'm glad you're okay" you tell him

He smiles at you, this time he pulls you to him. Hugging you.

It was unexpected. For a second he thought he did the wrong thing, but then he felt your arms go around him holding him tighter.

He kisses the top of your head, a silent assurance. He won't dare to say anything, soaking the moment.

When the two of you broke apart, he just smile at you before speaking again.

"Let's drive you home"

That was like the calm before the storm.

Haechan don't get it, was it something he said? Something he did?

It's been days and you're avoiding him. He sent numerous calls and texts. When he asked Chenle if you were coming you class, he did say you attended regularly.

What he didn't know was you were having a war with yourself.

You like Haechan. You like him so so much it scares you.

It scares you because what if this is all temporary. What if he's only doing it to be kind to you. What if he gets tired of you like all the boys you've liked before.

That's why for the past few days you couldn't face him. You don't know what to say to him, you don't understand your own feelings how can you even explain all of that to him.

Chenle knows all about your dilemma, after all he is one of your closest friend. Which is also why he's the first person Haechan looked for when he couldn't contact you,

"Just give her time, plus it's you. Give her a few days and she's talk to you again"

"What do you mean it's me?" he asks, confused

Chenle chuckles before answering, "I'm not about to pour out her feelings for her. You need to talk to her about that. All I know is ever since she met you, she's been happier" then he points at the latest piece you were making

"See that? She's been working on it for a while now, it's not an assignment. She said it just reminded her of one of her favorite days"

It was a painting of a sunset, looking so similar as the one the two of you saw before.

You weren't even there but that painting said a thousand words and confirmed everything to Haechan. All his doubts going away. He knew this was your way of talking to him.

This is how you confess to him. In your own way.

Haechan smiles as he stares at it.

He thinks he gave you enough time.

Meanwhile you were at home, half sulking half overthinking. This is the longest you went without talking to Haechan. It wasn't until you started to avoid him you realized just how big his presence is in your day to day life.

Hearing a knock on your door, you were hoping it was the boy you've been thinking about for days. But no.

The last person you expected to see on your doorstep: your ex-boyfriend, Lee Jeno.

"What are you doing here?"

"Can I come in?"

"Why?" your face void of any emotion.

It's been a while since you last saw him or even talked to him, he still looked the same but not really. Like this wasn't the version of Jeno you once knew and loved.

"I just want to talk"

It took you a few seconds before you open the door, letting him in your apartment.

"I don't have anything to say to you, so make it quick" you tell him

"Well first, I'm sorry for that messy break up. You deserved more"

You cut him off, "I did, I do. I deserve more that being broken up over text message with a measly reason of you being tired. What exactly did you get tired of? Do tell, since you're already here"

"I felt like I was never going to be on the same page as you, you had everything planned out. You're so sure of yourself while I don't even know what I'm going to do tomorrow. I was afraid you're going to meet someone else out there and realize he's better than me"

"I told you I didn't care, that night I said I was ready to wait whatever it is you need to accomplish first. I was okay with learning everything with you. You're the one who closed that door. You're the one who walked away, you don't get to walk back and ask if we could do it again"

He looks at you with apologetic eyes. Once upon a time that would've made you crumble and say yes to whatever he bids. But just as you realize this isn't the Jeno from before, you're also not the person you used to be.

"If you told me that a year ago, I would've come running back to you. For days, weeks, months all I thought about was where did I go wrong. Many times I had to stop myself from saying I missed you until I realized I deserved more than that. It wasn't the wrong love at the wrong time, there's no such thing as that. I loved you at the right time, it was short but I was happy. But that was a memory ago, Jeno"

"So I really am too late" he shows a sad smile

"One day when you meet another girl and you tell her about your plans in the future, about making more memories, I hope that it's true. I hope you find her again" you smile at him.

Neither of you said much after that, he said his goodbye knowing that this time it really might be the last one. This time he knows you really finally let go. There was no one waiting for him.

When he walked out your door, you didn't feel sad in the way you just got your heart broken. You feel sad for the girl who cried so many nights, who asked if she was ever worth to love.

You cried for that version of you who was so ready to love and yet fate forbade her to.

Before it got too much, you decided to take a walk to clear your mind.

Your first thought was to call Haechan until you stopped yourself. It's unfair to unload this baggage on him. He doesn't deserve it. Even though he told you over and over again you can lean on you him you can never bring yourself to fully do so.

What you didn't know was Haechan already knew what was happening. A few days ago, Jeno approached him and asked him what was going between the two of you. It was weird since he wasn't that close with the guy.

It wasn't until Jaemin told him that you and Jeno used to date, it's like the puzzle pieces fell into place. You never directly told Haechan about him but he's sure Jeno is the reason and the guy behind all your stories.

He wanted to pay you a visit when he saw Jeno walking out of your building, getting in his car and driving away. Meanwhile Haechan stayed inside his car. Thinking and waiting for the moment until he saw you walking out with nothing in hand.

He already knew what was happening.

So many things running through his head at the moment. How he's so mad at Jeno for making you go through this again, how worried he is about you and how he just wanted to hug you while telling you everything was going to be okay.

But above all he was hoping you don't retreat back to your old self, he doesn't want you to feel like you need to suffer alone and let your emotions eat you from within.

Of course he can't let you walk alone this late at night, he quickly got out of his car. Following a few steps behind you to make sure you're safe.

He watch you enter the park and sit on one of the benches. For a while he just lets you be. He knows you needed a moment for yourself. You needed the quiet to clear your mind.

A minute turned into five, then turned into ten until thirty minutes have passed when he finally decided to approach you.

"I knew I'd find you here"

You don't move from where you were standing, still looking up the skies counting all the stars over and over again.

"You know if you want to get away, you can just ask me. I'll drive you anywhere, you had my worried" Haechan continues, still you didn't say a word to him

"I can go if you want, I just need to know you're okay" he adds

"Why are you here?" you finally speak, asking him

"I can't let you walk this late at night alone, I was looking for you all day too"

"Well you found me" you tell him

Haechan feels frustrated, he's not even mad anymore when you won't any of his calls or texts. Or when you suddenly disappeared without a word.

He had his fair share of arguements, his friends know he'll never back down until he can prove himself right. But with you he can't seem to fight back. And right now it feels like he's about to go into battle.

"You need to tell me how you feel, I'm trying to understand you but you won't let me. How long will you keep on running away from me?"

"Why are you tired? You think I'm hard to get to?" you ask, this time looking over at him.

He looks back at you, checking if you're okay. Apart from the obvious tiredness, he's glad to see you unharmed. Atleast that's one less thing he was to worry about.

You wait for him to say something, the two of you just looking at each other. Before he speaks, he shrugs his jacket off before throwing it over your shoulder. You know he's upset with you but he's still taking care of you.

He takes a deep breath before speaking, “Was that what all the boys before me said? that you’re hard to get? because they got you all wrong. You’re not hard to get, you’re easier to read than my favorite music sheet. I can tell just want you want to say before you say anything”

“Oh so now you’re an expert on me?” you stop him but he was quick to answer back, not yet ready to back down.

“Is that so bad? Is it such a bad thing to want to know you? I am trying to understand and know you. That says more than any of them. You’re not hard to get, you’re hard to earn and that's a thousand times better. You like ketchup beside your fries not on them, you hate summer because of the heat, you like your coffee cold even in the morning. You eat Nutella with a spoon but you don't like it on bread. If me talking my tongue off, following you until the soles of my shoes crumble, run until we run out of road I will not stop trying to earn you because that’s what you deserve. You deserve a man who will go the lengths and beyond for you. You’re not a girl anyone can get, you’re a girl only the worthy can earn”

Nobody has ever fought this hard for you, it's always you fighting for the person. For so long you felt like a lost cause, a mere stop along the way until Haechan came and made you feel like this was a trip worth going to. Like he didn't mind what the destination would be, all he wants is to be on this journey with you.

"And how long will you think that?" you whisper

Looking at you right now, Haechan can tell all fight just left you. And not in a bad way. Right now you're waving the white flag, surrendering your walls and maybe finally letting him in. So he takes this chance and leaped to give you what you needed to hear,

"Until you believe me, and even after that. Until all the flowers wither away, and they bloom again. I'll tell you over and over again until the day that when you think even for a second if you're worthy to love, you won't hear their voices but mine. You'll remember my words, me saying over and over again that you're worth to love, my love" he breaths out, with each word the distance between the two of you minimizing until the ends of his shoes touches yours.

"I'll tell you again and again, when you forget I'll look right into your eyes and tell you you're perfect enough" he whispers, resting his forehead against yours.

"Do I deserve this? Do I deserve you-" "Yes, yes you do"

Then he was kissing you, wiping every doubt every question away. Remembering how to fall in love, that warm feeling you only feel whenever he's around. When he smiles at you, when he greets you goodmorning and goodnight, when he holds your hand.

He kisses you like he's sealing a promise, right in this moment he didn't need anything else. It was perfect, nothing like he ever imagined because this is so much better.

When the two of you broke apart, he's smiling ear to ear

"I love you"

Like the first time you met, he just looks at you. This time with love in his eyes. Looking at you like you're the one who painted his skies, like you're the sun of his universe, like you're more than enough.

And to him, you are.

You are more than enough.

[class1akids]

hii, so what do you think will happen to Deku?? ive been seeing soo many people on my tl saying that he'll end up quirkless and i know its not supposed to be like that but now idk anymore and with this last chapter i think he may end up quirkless which i hate btw. Anyways, what are your thots on this and where do you think the memory thing is going?

I'm sorry to say, but I've been a "Deku ends up quirkless" again truther for many years. To me, narratively, it just makes sense for the overall set-up of the main question of the manga: "Can I be a hero?" which has kept coming back in the endgame to come full circle.

In this story, we have learnt that all kinds of people can become heroes: people with "villain quirks" (like Shinsou), people with niche quirks (Aizawa, Monoma), people with troublesome quirks (Mirio), people who don't even use their quirks to be heroes (Hatsume). So I don't see how it would be only the MC, who needs specifically the greatest power in existence to be a hero. Deku needs to be able to face his quirkless middle school self and tell him with all confidence that "you can be a hero too".

To me, given how OFA evolved (the multiple quirks, the shortcuts to 100%, the short learning time), it would make sense if Deku's journey is not to be an empty chalice / tool for OFA, but OFA to be the tool for him to discover his own strengths (physical, mental, battle IQ, etc.), learn how to fight and help him to become a hero.

All Might even did the test run for an Armored Hero, mimicking the quirks of Class A and held up against AFO just as well if not better than people with quirks did. That plot is way more fitting for Deku who has actually been relentlessly studying his friends' quirks and with proto-Deku being an actual tech hero.

And on top of it, I think that Deku staying as ridiculously OP as he is would not give him a happy ending. OFA has no reason to exist once AFO (the quirk) is gone for good. Staying so OP would send Izuku down the road of All Might 2.0 - whether he wants to or not - with no life for himself. He's self-sacrificial enough that if he has the power to do everything, he will keep doing it and run to every corner of the world to help. It's isolating and that rat race is not what makes Izuku as a person happy.

He's someone who likes to hang out with his friends, stop to chat with people he saved and make candy apples to make them smile. That's where his true happiness lie imho.

The only question mark I have is because of Bakugou's ridiculous power-up. I've always thought Bakugou and Deku will end up around the same power level in the end (to keep the whole rivals thing going into post-franchise movies). Probably Shouto too, but that's less of a given.

But now, I'm not sure how Horikoshi will balance this. Bakugou is still nowhere near full-power Deku, but Armored Deku I don't think would be a credible rival to 2xAwakened Bakugou. So because of that, I can imagine, Hori will do the typical Hori-thing and won't commit and will go instead for some half-ass solution of nerfing Deku just so (e.g. having him keep Black Whip or have some asspull of the super strength fuse into his DNA, or get a quirk back from Tomura...) and then keep the fandom arguing who is stronger.

For me, the narratively more compelling story is to have Deku wake up quirkless after the big battle, after he saved the world and getting a few chapters of him getting back to his feet, and not a single soul question whether he still belongs to the hero course because of course he does. And then have absolutely everyone help him - to pitch in money to develop his armor and help him train and everyone (and especially Bakugou) treat him as absolute EQUAL and as an inspiration. And then have him graduate from UA as the first ever quirkless hero ever (and go on to work as hero partners with Bakugou probably).

Hori said that he has a lot of stuff he wants to draw after the war, and I think something like this would make sense.

[linkspooky]

Spooky, I'm so tired of seeing people say that "Megumi has no development/is badly written/sucks", especially on reddit, and now I almost started to cry because you started your last answer-meta about Megumi with "Megumi's actually the most complicated and well-written character in the manga", and let me tell you that's a lot coming from someone who writes such great metas!

Then I continue reading and you describe him in the same way that I perceive him but it's also like I'm seeing Megumi for the first time? it's difficult to express this but it always happens to me ... Megumi is so complicated that every time I read an analysis/meta about him this happens and I love it.

Sorry, I'm terrible at expressing myself and everything I wrote might be confusing but I needed to tell you, and also, Thank you for writing and sharing your metas! 🖤

Thank you for sending the ask, anon! I'm just happy you're a fan of Megumi and enjoy his character as much as I do. My friend @theanimepsychologist did a much better post than I did, explaining why exactly the complexity of Megumi's character is hard to miss. I wish I could just copy paste that whole post here and steal it, but I have some brief thoughts on why Megumi is oftentimes overlooked and it has to do with the fact that his development throughout the entire manga is hidden in the shadows.

I say Megumi's development is hidden in shadows, because in typical shonen manga tradition his character development goes hand in hand with him learning to use the Ten Shadows ability. It's outlined for him twice by both Gojo and Sukuna that Megumi should really be a lot more powerful than he is right now.

Megumi is your typical genius kid who everything comes so naturally to him he never learns to study, and therefore when moving up from high school to college begins to fall apart because he didn't learn the skills that would lead to his further development.

If you look at Megumi's situation, he should really be more powerful than he is. Megumi has the ten shadows, which is the strongest technique in the Zen'in, and apparently even capable of defeating a limitless user with the six eyes. Not only that, but he was handpicked and tutored by Gojo Satoru since he was a child, and he's clearly the student that Gojo takes the most interest in teaching.

Gojo and Yuta who have similiar natural talent are already at the level of special class at Megumi's age, and Yuta himself has only been a sorcerer for a year, but Megumi lingers at grade two. Gojo and Megumi himself are frustrated by his own lack of progression and neither of them can understand why.

In typical Gojo fashion, Gojo who only understands the world through the lens of sorcery, just suggests that Megumi get stronger at developing his ten shadows technique and everything else will work out. However, the reason Megumi can't advance isn't because he's not strong enough or not working hard enough, but because he's emotionally weak.

He falls apart mentally rather than physically, and we learn the reason why in his flashbacks to Tsumiki.

Megumi has no emotional reason to want to be a sorcerer, he doesn't even feel an obligation to save people does the way Yuji does, he was just groomed into it by Gojo. However, the loss of Tsumiki at middle school age makes Megumi falter, because the one reason he had for going forward is that he could possibly make Tsumiki safe because doing his job as a sorcerer gave them money to live... but then Tsumiki is out of the picture and Megumi is trapped in a life he doesn't want for no reason.

The difference between Megumi and Gojo that Gojo fails to notice, is that Gojo has an incredibly strong sense of self, and Megumi has no sense of self (which further inhabits his development). He's never once doing things for himself, despite calling himself selfish and espousing a much more selfish philosophy that Yuji does, his goals all focus around providing some kind of service or protection to others.

This is where Megumi's development starts becoming difficult to keep track of, because Megumi is a character who both changes a lot throughout the manga, and doesn't actually change at all. Which is a statement that makes no sense but let me explain: Megumi develops his ten shadows technique and on the outside is developing into a stronger sorcerer, but he never does the internal work and self reflection required to become emotionally strong.

Once again, Gojo in his great genius can only offer this advice to Megumi: Become strong, become a better sorcerer. This is because Gojo misses out that emotional issues are what is holding Megumi back. Megumi's first two major fights in the manga are losses, he's not strong enough to kill the curse on his own in the first chapter so Yuji eats the finger to help, he's not strong enough to stop Sukuna's rampage in Yuji's body, so Yuji dies in front of him.

It's two situations where Megumi reflects, "If I was strong enough, I would have been able to do X, Y, and Z, therefore it's my fault that this bad thing happened."

So we see Megumi throughout the arcs, continually developing his ten shadows technique to be stronger, while at the same time avoiding personal development. The biggest moment of this is origin of obedience, where he unlocks his partial domain expansion and then a few chapters later just avoids an emotionally difficult conversation with Yuji because he's scared to talk with him.

Megumi's desire is to feel free and grow into a better version of himself, but he stops at every opportunity to develop emotionally because that's harder. Gojo suggests that Megumi just pursue strength, so Megumi just starts finding himself in violence. Which is why the progression we do see in his character is him getting stronger and better at using his technique, coupled with him being more openly violent and more like his father the shadow of violence who is always chasing after him. This is what turns Megumi into Mr. "I'll totally kill people in the Culling Games if I need to."

Would Megumi at the beginning of the manga been okay with slaughtering normal people to get points in a game, maybe yes maybe no but he does advocate for just leaving a prisoner to die to curses because they committed a crime once. If anything his development post shibuya is just exaggerating a side to him that was already there. Megumi in times of crisis falls back on violence for survival because that's what Gojo taught him.

Megumi grows more confident with his abilities, he uses them in more creative ways, he even starts demonstrating himself as a leader among the group basically coming up with the strategy for the culling games. He's also more emotionally open with Yuji than he was in the past. There's definite emotional progression.

Beginning of the manga Megumi is lacking in confidence -> Yuji dies in front of him, he realizes his need to get stronger and starts applying himself -> In the Kyoto battle arc despite training with the second years he still falls short in the battle against Hanami -> Gojo reveals to megumi part of the reason he has a mental block against getting stronger is because he's downplaying himself for the sake of others, and afterwards Megumi starts imagining a better version of himself for the first time -> Megumi shows his strength at cooperating in Shibuya, fighting with Yuji, and then later Maki and the rest against Dagon -> Megumi is the one who convinces Yuji to keep fighting showing his emotional development and comes up with the strength for the culling games -> Megumi uses his domain expansion again but much more confidently than he did in origin of obedience.

There's clear progression here on Megumi's part that I can even give a general summary and map out, but at the same time the fundamental problem has not been solved, that Megumi doesn't have a thoroughly developed sense of self and self destructs. Gojo even says as much that part of the reason he's so limited in using his abilities is because he thinks he has Mahoraga to fall back on.

He tries to use Mahoraga in the fight against Sukuna, tries to use it against Todo of all people, tries to use it against the special grade spirit in origin of obedience and this time stops himself (making progress) only to once again default to using Mahoraga in Shibuya when he's cornered. Megumi doesn't try to personally develop himself because he considers his own life worthless and that behavior never stops. It keeps persisting until we get all the way to Sukuna taking over his body, which happened because Megumi ignored every warning from Yuji that Sukuna was planning for something. Because in that case he just assumed Sukuna would kill him and Megumi doesn't care about that because he doesn't value his own life.

Which is where we get the great paradox that is Megumi, he's the most developed character in the manga with a great deal of the manga focused on both his slow progression as a character, but also revealing more parts of his personality that the audience would not notice at first. People who saw Megumi advocate for leaving prisoners behind to die in the first arc of the manga, probably wouldn't assume he'd go so far as killing people in the culling games to get point, because it's quicker that way and he can justify killing bad people, but that's the natural extreme of that behavior to begin with.

We see more and more of Megumi's repressed anger, and his abandonment issues with his sister and his parents, so his character is moving, but we also don't see a lot of progression on those issues because Megumi's not focusing on trying to be a better person just being a better sorcerer.

In typical shonen manga fashion, the focus is put on Megumi getting stronger and learning to develop his technique ore. In atypical shonen manga fashion, Megumi is actually punished by the narrative for only caring about getting stronger. Sukuna's possession of him, and his loss of Tsumiki are both things caused by Megumi being ignorant until the last moment and keeping himself hidden in the shadows too, if he'd valued himself more he'd have steered clear of Sukuna and Yuji because of the danger, if he'd paid more attention to his sister he'd notice Yorozu in his body.

Which is what makes Megumi so unique, but also a little hard to understand because he is in so many ways a typical shonen jump character, and in other ways he's nothing like them because he's just Megumi.

[thetepes]

I'm gonna yap in here for a sec, cuz honest to god I feel you're one of the few people whom I can have a nuanced convo about this in this damned website

I REALLY havent been vibing with the glorification of people like stalin and mao here. Like, I too hate the current wild and unregulated capitalistic system we have in place, but to go and defend men who killed so fucking many is wrong as fuck.

I get wanting to question things reported by the US and th US military, that is a good instinct (as someone whose country has been negatively affected by US intervention, I dont trust the US and the military) and i also think its good to not paint everyone living in china or north korea as mindless, unemotional drones, these people lived there their whole lives and have families and emotions and bla bla. But. To go on and say that both of those govts have done nothing wrong is like ??? (And denying the ongoing uyghur genocide is also scummy as fuck)

I am also very iffed that people say that everyone who left cuba had family members that owned plantations and shit, i think the castros suck but i also think it was shitty that it was a US playground for a long time.

Sorry for the extended yapping

Yapping is always welcome.

I feel the reaction is similar to... well, any standard in the west? Christianity is king so we have to swing the total opposite and be anti-theist, ignoring how that can be deeply antisemitic, belittling, and harms minorities more than anyone else. They just see themselves as taking a swing at their oppressors, but like a kid at a party having a go at a piñata, there's other kids standing behind them that just got cracked over the dome they have no idea about.

They've been hurt by republican politics so they defensively swing so far left they to say they're democrats is an insult. Now all republicans are evil, they support Trump, don't they? They support all this evil so they're evil. These people have completely lost sight of the human condition. We aren't all knowing. We aren't all understanding. We aren't a hive mind, perception rules us and there will simply be people who see things as better another way.

Nevermind that, let's face it, people in America voted red this time because a gallon of milk costs 5$ now in a lot of places. Inflation is killing people as fast as the complete lack of healthcare and on top of it, no one is hiring. Insurance rates are insane. Housing, car, and health. Unaffordable. The wages haven't gone up since the 70s and they aren't hiring anyone. Everyone 20 to 40 is just getting fucked around. Biden did nothing to help, he got lost walking to the podium multiple times.

That's why they voted red.

These people are not online. They don't know about the insane racist bullshit. I don't know how to delicately explain that everyone I know in real life doesn't have time for the internet and has no idea what a proud boy is or what white privilege is or what's going on in California, Boston, or New York. I barely do. I worked three jobs last year and did under the table work for a few places. I have bills to pay. I have to make money to send home. My family lives in a country that couldn't even afford to be in Eurovision last year, I have 14 siblings - some of which are minors - and we are hosting people fleeing the war with Russia.

We live in one of the richest most advanced countries in the world and we can't afford to enjoy it. People see two options. Red and blue. Your third party candidate doesn't mean shit. It's red or blue. That's how America works and if you don't vote because you see yourself as above the system, oh enlightened soul, you're just giving your vote to whatever evil you see as worse.

Red promised to lower the cost of living. Blue banked on women's rights. They lost. Women voted red. They voted red the same reason countries like mine accepted communism at one point. Freedom for security.

That's the cost of communism.

Hell, that's the cost of socialism in a lot of ways. Socialized medicine sounds so good until you look at your taxes. Where do you think that free education and healthcare comes from? It all sounds like a fairytale until you've sat waiting months to see a general practitioner. Want to see a specialist? Good luck. You need a referral then you're put on a list. How long's the wait? Well, it depends. On what? If someone else gets tired of waiting. It could be months. It could be longer. Suddenly just being able to go get same day xrays starts looking good.

You couldn't pay me to go back to Europe just based on healthcare alone. I'd die. I have chronic issues, are you kidding me? You need referrals in America for some doctors, but the longest I've waited is about two weeks. You can just pay to go see a guy. You can just walk in any ol' place. I've gone in and been asked if I have a referral, said no, and seen the doctor anyway because at the time I could afford it because I was married.

I'm sorry, but Americans are so privileged. I'm staggered every day I'm here by just how oblivious you all are about being so comfortable with how terrible you all treat one another. Not saying there aren't good people, but you all get away with dog shit that would get you completely iced out of any other community in any other country and you think you can handle communism? HAH!

You can't even effectively communicate with people in your own discord servers.

Free living sounds so damn good until you get in that block, your room is the size of a prison cell, there's over 50 of you in one building and your whole floor is sharing one bathroom. You do not get to choose who you live with. If you get lucky, you might get one with multiple stalls. You have to clean it. There's no janitor that comes in and cleans the building. That's you. You and your neighbors have to clean and keep your building . The government isn't going to come cut the grass for you. They aren't going to fix your sink. You'll be put on a list for repairs. It will not be a short list.

Block living is shit I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy and these people have no concept of it.

The food is rationed. Comparable to food stamps. You only get as much as the government allows. You pay for that, it comes out of your taxes. Want to grow your own? You can't. There's no community garden in a block and you can't own land for you and your friends to start one. You can ask. You'll be put on a list. They'll get back to you. If you do manage to get that garden, you have to clean and keep it. If it gets trashy they'll take it from you. There's no "Well my chronic issues" The government does not care.

This isn't even getting into the construction of the place. That there would be multiple blocks in one place and the actual reality of overcrowding or having a job the government picks for you that you get no say in. This isn't getting into being completely out of control when it comes to your own country. Not knowing what evil is happening because they control television, radio, newspaper, books, everything. It just keeps going and going and they put up Eastern Europeans DNI because when we try to tell them they can't listen because the opposite of capitalism can't be bad.

Communism isn't the opposite of capitalism. It is it's equally fascist cousin and it has a body count just as high as any capitalist nation.

Those mass graves are deep and some people just disappeared. Work camps aren't summer camps where you ride horses and play in the streams. The Nazis and Ceaușescu are Romania's two greatest evils and the body count is something I can't even truly begin to explain. We, my people, my family, we're just gone and no one talks about it. We never got answers. "Where is our loved one" Just gone. "Where is our home?" Just gone. Our culture has to be kept so fucking secret for our own safety. We can't practice it openly still because it isn't safe and then I come online and see people say tarot is Romani culture and I just want to scream.

The west is so disconnected. Reading it in a book will never do it justice and these tankies prove it. Imagine thinking Stalin is worth following? The man who let Nazis kill his own son in a camp. Mao, with at least 80 million deaths to his name.

You can't trust what America says. You can't trust the American military about ANYTHING. The American military is a horrible dog owned by a cruel master. They abuse and kill and leech then send those people home completely unsupported and loose them on the civilian population to figure out the toll of that evil for themselves. It's inhumane. Do not trust America about these places, but why wouldn't you trust the people who suffered there? The people who survived and told what happened? Sometimes a fact is just a fact, but they don't care about that.

They only care about "the right side of history". They don't know the history. They care about social credit. They care about optics. They can't do an evil because they are so obsessed with black and white that the fact they're actively supporting a machine that's just like the one they hate so much is something they can't stomach. They can't see it because they'd be wrong. And being wrong is bad. Being bad is evil and evil is unforgivable. There is only good and evil to them. And people like you and I who don't fall into that thinking are unforgivable evil people, but they want us to believe their way of thinking is the way things should be.

They don't know what happened to people who communism found evil. The death means nothing to these people because if you disagree with them you deserve it.

They don't care about disabled people. They don't care about minorities. They themselves might be those things and yet somehow it doesn't get through they'd be seen as not worth keeping housed, healthy, and fed and end up in the same place I would. They don't care about anything, but themselves and all they see is free housing, free food, free healthcare. They see security. They don't care about the cost.

[goldenkamuyhunting]

I wonder if you still will answer an ask / question. My ask is Do you personally think / feel there is some character that's like ended up a waste ( in term development ) or just.. didn't need to exist / continue into the next chapter at some point ? Like example, in your analysis Ogata should just died in vol 19 something like that I think.. I suddenly think like.. Vasily is a big waste or maybe he shouldn't continue to be Ogata's rival because I personally dont see it, sometimes i really think he's just like a fan service character ? Vasily went to take revenge on Ogata and go as for to Japan for that, that sound kinda romantic or something someone said that and i really dont see that ( I think Vasily fans gonna hate me ). I think Tsukishima & Koito prolly the same case at the end how they ended up breaking their loyalty to Tsurumi. I'm sorry if it's wrong the end of chapter kinda confuse me a lot.

Yes, I do still answer, even if sometimes I'm really slow about it.

Should I warn everyone that this isn't a Noda apprecciation post and that the back button in this case might be your best friend?

I hope people will be intuitive enough to figure it out on their own so without further ado let's dig into this.

Do I personally think / feel there is some character that's like ended up a waste ( in term development ) or just.. didn't need to exist / continue into the next chapter at some point ?

Oh yes. I feel quite a lot got wasted and this doesn't include just characters but also plot points actually.

Before someone will say something, I'll clear up a couple of things about what I mean.

First of all, this is my personal opinion. It's not The Truth. It's just how I feel.

Second, for me a story has to fit with Anton Chekhov's advice: If it's not essential, don't include it in the story. Especially, I'll add, if you want to write only 31 volumes and then you'll end up rushing things to fit everything in them.

So, let's start.

Let's cut from the story Sugimoto's feelings for Umeko which go nowhere and supposedly ended when Kikuta told him he should let Umeko go. He could be just in the story to help a friend's wife. After all that's why he's in the story in the anime, which completely cut Umeko's role and, anyway, it seems that's what Noda wanted since Sugimoto supposedly wanted to marry Umeko solely because Toraji told him so.

Q: Sugimoto’s main motivation to participate in the gold hunt was to heal Umeko, the girl who was his childhood friend and whom he loved. However, in the last chapter, he gives his share of the gold to Umeko’s son, since her eyes were already healed. Why did you do that?

Noda: If Umeko had not remarried and her eyes weren’t healed, the story would have needed a few more chapters, which, considering that it was post-climax, would have made it drag on needlessly.

The reason for that is Toraji told Sugimoto to get together with Umeko before dying, and he is not the kind of guy who could have ignored that and return to Hokkaido with Asirpa. [Noda’s interview for Yomiuri online paper]

Actually also let's cut her eye problems. Let's send Sugimoto to get money for Toraji's son, so he can go to school. If the whole thing with Umeko becomes a bother that needs to be solved offscreen without Sugimoto's intervention, let's just not include it.

The same goes for Ogata's feelings for his grandmother. We are told that Ogata didn't kill Tanigaki because he was a grandmother's boy and so he didn't want to murder Huci even though not killing Tanigaki causes him plenty of troubles and then... it turns out in an interview he probably poisoned his grandparents and they're no more discussed in the story.

Q17: Are Ogata’s grandparents still alive? If not, how did they die? Noda: They both disappeared before Ogata enlisted. There was half-eaten food left on the table. [Q&A section from the Golden Kamuy fanbook]

Honestly I would cut also Tanigaki's tragic backstory with his sister because... it goes nowhere in the end. He completely forgets he was meant to go back home and tell his father how his sister died, he actually goes back home because he has Inkarmat and Tsurumi is hunting him.

And since we're at it, let's cut the whole "Huci might die of worry for Asirpa", since Huci gets all better as soon as they hand her a baby.

Note that those plot points were all things I liked when I assumed they would go somewhere... instead they are just brushed off, forgotten or solved offscreen. They didn't really serve to the story, Ogata could have not killed Tanigaki because too many in the village saw him entering in Huci's house and might attack him if he were to shoot at her, and Tanigaki could have gone after Asirpa because she saved his life.

Then we've characters like Svetlana, who served zero purpose, Ogata and Vasily that were kept alive for no reason at all after Vol 19, the whole subplot with Central that went nowhere along with Wada's murder, since Tsurumi has the support of Yodogawa and could have gotten the weapons from him instead than doing it from behind Wada's back and then killing him.

To have Wilk include, among the tattooed convicts, a well known child murderer and who cares if that guy would go on murdering children once free (even though murdering children is generally considered one of the most disgusting crimes even by criminals) and his daughter is also a child, makes a huge disservice to Wilk as a supposedly good father.

Saving Tsurumi was unneeded, and the same goes for the whole Tsukishima-Koito-Tsurumi plot that goes nowhere.

Sofia shouldn't have known she had no part in Tsurumi's daughter's death if, afterward, she was meant to die thinking solely at how regretful she felt for it, and not at how her men died because she thought trying to fulfil Wilk and Kiro's dream was a good plan.

And since Jack the Ripper was clearly so poorly researched about, Noda could have just turned him into some Japanese mad slasher, no need to toss in the story another murderer who kills because he's a Christian with warped beliefs like Sekiya... and talking about warped belief and psychological problems already seen, we've Heita who has warped Ainu religion beliefs and hears voices like Edogai... okay, he's actually worse than Edogai but still close enough.

And what about the fake skins plot? Noda even forgot one of those fake skins at a certain point and solved the plot abruptly.

Ariko didn't need to 'die' to be resurrected short after and then STAY OUT OF THE STORY and not even help Asirpa, despite his father being the one who triggered the Ainu massacre falling for Tsurumi's manipulation. Not that the guy knows so this too was unneeded.

And actually the story would have probably benefitted by having Inkarmat die due to her wound and Ienaga be killed once she saved Sugimoto.

And should we dig into Tsukishima's tragic backstory which also go nowhere?

Or the rather terrible story of the raped white bear?

The extra story of the roasted little bird?

The whole "Wakayama was the one behind the skin in Barato" plot with annexed the whole "searching for the skins is useless" which gets forgotten with a shrug?

And let's not forget the whole Central plot that goes nowhere. Tsurumi knew already of the gold, Ogata got involved by Central for unclear reasons (why pick him?) and Kikuta got in the game too late and contributed too little all for Central to do basically nothing in the story.

And, since we're at it, the whole Noboribetsu thing was also handled poorly.

I guess I could add more but that's what came to my mind as of now. I fear it's already way too much...

Now, I've basically rushed up through everything and I realize this instead would need to be expanded to be more understandable, as some plot points/characters might seem of relevance... when actually could have been solved way more quickly and efficently... especially since at the end Noda rushed through the story because he wanted to end at vol 31.

If one has a set a specific volume for the ending he should do well his math and not add extra that merely dilute the story for no real purpose.

If it's not essential, don't include it in the story.

But whatever, if you or someone else now feels the need for clarifications of why some plot points/characters felt useless/didn't deserve to live that long, you can write me.

If you or someone else feel they actually were important, okay, that's your opinion, I'm not saying you've to change it, just don't try to change mine. I prefer not to argue about things I didn't like of GK, it makes happy no one and feels rather boring.

Sorry if this wasn't what you were hoping for and thank you for your ask!

[fallowtail]

You really need to just get past this hyperfixation about not having gone to college. No one cares about it other than you. I have a master's degree from an Ivy League university and no career whatsoever. I probably have the exact same job that you do. Meanwhile, my friend who has a GED (not even an actual high school diploma) is the most successful and thriving of any of us.

Here's some potentially hurtful but maybe one day helpful honesty: it seems like you're too addicted to misery to WANT to feel better. You've been posting the exact same self-pitying complaints for years, and you always ignore everyone's attempts to comfort or help you. If you ever do decide that you genuinely want to be happier, just remind yourself that degrees do not equal destiny. At all! And if you want to go to college for the right reasons, i.e. to LEARN rather than because you're imagining that people look down on you, then there are plenty of online courses you can take. Many of them are surprisingly inexpensive these days.

If you were able to obtain a masters degree at an ivy league university then I'm sorry but you quite literally are fundamentally incapable of understanding what this is like, I don't care if you have no career to show for it, you were at least able to do so both financially and mentally and those options are there for you at some point and will eventually come to fruition for you. You are incapable of understanding this level of hopelessness regarding this situation, and using your friend as some sort of "gotcha!" is absolutely ridiculous when people like that are the exception, not the rule. If you're interested in having a genuine conversation about this feel free to come off anon and pop in my dms, but otherwise I am not interested in having a one sided discussion with someone who claims to have known me for years but is too big of a coward to say this to my face, lol. Either nut up or shut up, or if you're interested in donating to me so that I can have money to afford these apparently "inexpensive" courses (which, what is inexpensive to someone who could afford ivy league, lmao?) when I currently cannot even afford to consistently buy food or have access to basic medical care to "stop being addicted to being miserable" when I am dealing with fully unmedicated suicidal depression as well as permanent brain fog from long covid that almost completely disables me because I cannot afford otherwise and never will, feel free to let me know and I'll send you my paypal! 👍 Otherwise the unfollow button is right there.

[kleyamarki]

HI so i wrote the implied meeting between salman paak and kleya. it's part of my magnum opus eat your young andor concept fic. this is ultimately going to be bix-centered, focused on "throw enough rope till the legs have swung" (pretty on the nose for ya, sorry paak)

anyway, it's below the cut. maybe let me know what you think? idk i'm bored.

The man has Ferrix written all over him. It’s in the way he leaves the seats in the room for those much older and those much younger, the way he genuinely listens to everyone in the room, and the mechanic’s oil he’s tried to wash out of the jacket he wears. Kleya selects him as her mark out of the packed room. A speaker drones on about the injustices the Empire has rought, and Kleya nods along – she agrees, obviously. But speaking to a room of people will ultimately do nothing. It’s her job to pick out people she believes will be willing to take an extra step. She has hope for the man who would come all the way from Ferrix.

[ok itty bitty time skip (because i’m impatient with my writing brain and want to share this anyway), like a matter of a few minutes, think rebel meeting but more like a lecture. kleya looks like she should be part of it, like she could be one of the leaders of this little group, even. but she stands on the outskirts of the room, like she’s the lowest rung of the leader totem pole. in reality she’s not one of them, but she’s there to see if she can get anyone for her & luthen’s purposes. she also introduces herself to paak. obviously with a different name and all that. okay onto the rest]

“You know,” Kleya says over a cup of caf, “If you’re serious about this, you could be our liaison on your homeworld.” She uses ‘our’ lightly in terms of the current surroundings. She hopes he doesn’t notice the leaders of the group aren’t fraternizing with the attendees. Her network needs this. The Separatists here might too, but there’s a reason she’s handpicked him specifically. They don’t need to know that. 

Paak lets a huff of air out of his nose, a laugh, maybe, “Ferrix? They’d rather take the Empire’s money and ignore them.” Kleya’s brow furrows as the words leave his mouth. “They have each other, they can ignore the rest.”

“But you’re here.”

“But I’m here,” he sighs.

Kleya spies her opening. “I can offer more money for the Imperial toys you trade already.”

“You don’t want some uprising?” Paak raises an eyebrow, silently saying what Kleya wants him to realize – you’re not the same as them, the Separatists she’s playing. Maybe he even thinks their arrangement would be less dangerous than an overt uprising. She hopes, for his sake, he doesn’t have to learn the truth of the matter. 

“We know the game you salvagers play,” Kleya says, revealing just enough to reel him in. “And we could put it to better use. A use you’d probably like more, anyway, considering you’re here.” She sips her caf, looks back at the room.

Paak is silent for a moment longer than Kleya would like. He sips his caf too, thinking. She interjects, “You’d get a radio, signal when you have something for my buyer. We’ll catch it, he’ll pay a visit. All fairly simple, if you can get your hands on equipment we need at the right time.”

At that, Paak nods. Although he still looks the slightest bit uneasy, Kleya knows she’s got him. “As long as the radio’s alive, you’ll get a stipend too.” She debates for a split second what she’ll say next, but goes ahead anyway, “All the better for your family, right?”

Paak raises an eyebrow, but there’s something in his eye that says he’s in for the guarantee of a regular income stream. “You said liaison,” he says, finally, “Could I bring someone in, put them in contact with your buyer?”

Kleya doesn’t want to say yes, but they need Ferrix. “Sure, you’re the one on the ground.” A half-truth. He doesn’t need to know that. 

Paak nods, “You have a deal.”

Kleya suppresses a smile. She can still be happy about the small successes. “We’ll send you the radio in the next few weeks. Signal, and the buyer will come.”

[liquidorcard]

Has Lily acknowledged your existence yet?

SOLID LILY WILL NOT RESPOND TO MY CEASE AND DESIST FROM MY TOTALLY REAL LAWYER TO STOP COPYING ME!!! MY FACE IS COPYRIGHTED BINCH!!!

She also has never responded to a single one of the thousands upon THOUSANDS of hand written notes that we could be

💖~ kissing each other right on the mouths as sisters ~💖

While I even bring her coffee! 😭

____

Yes. Sort of at least. The whole "Solid Lily," "Liquid Lily" episode, I can more or less confirm happened because of me.

The day I made this account, though I never interacted with her directly on purpose, I was watching to see when/if she blocked me. Took her something like, two or three hours to find my account and block. Which, in Lily's defense, fair enough. I think my reasons for mocking her are more than valid, but I wouldn't expect anyone to NOT take being openly made fun of like this as more than enough reason to cut off direct contact. It's clear I don't like her. But by the timing I can all but confirm the ask she got next was a self ask:

She didn't get the joke. Poor Lily doesn't get a lot of things, though.

She referenced me and another parody Lily account more directly here:

The "Mega Milk Lily" Liquid drawing came out if me making fun of this comment.

There was an instance of Mikaila vagueposting about someone drawing Lily as a "big titty goth gf," implying that artist, whoever they may be, wanted to bone Lily. That was also probably in reference to me. If it was, that tells me two things:

1. Mikaila doesn't know what a goth is (speaking as a goth guy.)

2. Not a surprise they both think drag is some kind of pervert satanic ritual if they interpret absolutely ridiculous drawings that don't even look close to the real Lily as flirting. I'm not trying to play dumb, I know there's a sexual implication to the way I draw Liquid. Liquid's origins as a character are a little messy because the original Lily Wojaks I drew ages ago. The "abusive wife" wojak has big tits, and that was the first one I made.

But as I started developing the character as a whole persona by herself, I started leaning into it more to both parody how in a performative hyper femininity. I'm a drag performer in real life. Though I don't perform as much as I used to, I used to do a lot of parody impersonations (Ben Shapiro was my favorite, lol.) Also, it's just way easier to draw curvy women super fast since they're made of a lot of distinct shapes.

If they think me drawing a parody Lily this way makes me think I'm into her, well. Sorry Lily I'm only into chicks who hurt people consentually. Full offense, with all do respect.

There's been a few instances I've been made aware of I personally concluded was not actually all that likely to be about me. However, there was one instance involving Loly alluding to a phantom violent drawing Courtney supposedly commissioned. In my opinion, Lily is making the whole thing up, or her friend is. Courtney supposedly sent it to a friend of Lily's instead of her directly, and this friend refuses to show or send it to Lily.

I can't confirm who speculated about this first, but either Lily or KiwiFarms suggested it was me who drew it. This drawing no one's seen but a friend of Lily's, who Courtney supposedly paid money to have made, only to ever send it to JUST Lily's friend.

I mean I can't prove a negative, but like, if this commission ever materializes there's a million different ways to at least show I would have had to go to take pretty extreme measures to hide that I made it.

The last instance I really can't say for sure if it was me or not. But it may have been me that caused Lily to go on a prolonged rant about metaphors. The same day I made fun of her for the same thing, referencing a 9 month old Sai stream where she confused "symbolism" for "simile." Symbolism can absolutely be used in a visual or conceptual metaphor.