#I'm sorry it's a struggle for me to talk a lot

[eeveelynm]

After an hour of struggling through that... apology...? As someone with formal education in games development and an invested interest in the games industry, I have a lot of thoughts about what Iskall said in regards to vault hunters. I'm not intimately familiar with the development of Vault Hunters. I've watched a couple videos with it and understand the concepts but I've never accurately followed along with the development cycle so please correct me if I'm wrong but Iskall acted as a sort of publisher for the mod pack. In his video he talks about how he funnelled thousands of dollars into the project, a lot of the time at a loss, and then goes on to whine about how some of the development team didn't want to continue working on the project underneath him. Throughout the segment of Iskall whining about the development team, he talks about how he owns the project. That he has the sole rights to the entire project and how it will continue under him, whether that is with the current development team or not. This is a perfect microcosm for the entirety of the games industry as it is now. Iskall has presented himself as almost everything corrupted with publishers. Hiring talented passionate developers, only to lay them off due to budget cuts or something happens to hurt a higher ups feelings or even people on the team in positions of power use it to take advantage of their staff. I do not know who created the idea for Vault Hunters. I do know however, that the team behind it is passionate, talented and love what they have worked on for the past however many years. I feel sorry to not only the development team members who were fired, but to anyone in the same, or similar, positions. Don't let vampires like Iskall suck your drive to create out of you. Don't let things like him win.

[icycoldninja]

Could you make Sephiroth x introverted!reader? Or if you do love triangles something like Genesis x introverted!reader x Sephiroth where they take turns to comfort reader? And maybe talk about uhm insecurities like reader's face and body possibly add the unstable personality type in there too because my emotions are all over the place most times- (it's kinda up and down roller coaster with emotions for me)

Hope it's not too much to ask<3

It's not too much at all! Sorry I took so long to write this! I ended up just sticking with Sephiroth x Reader; I hope you enjoy!

Words (Sephiroth x Introverted!Reader)

"If you are hearing this message, you have succeeded in locating me," Began Sephiroth's voice mail, ominously. "No doubt you know who I am already. Deliver your message if you must."

"Hey, Seph," You said softly, already beginning to worry what he would think of you for calling about something as trivial as this. "I..uhh...just...wanted to see if you were busy, and it looks like you are, but...when you aren't, could you maybe come over? Please? If you're not busy?"

How many times were you going to ask if he was busy? Oh well.

"Uhh...anyway....yeah. Bye." You finished lamely, ending the call a few seconds before you even finished speaking. No sooner had you heard that familiar "click" of a disconnected call did your phone ring again. When you checked, you found, to your delight, that Sephiroth was calling you back.

"Hi," You mumbled weakly, upon answering the call.

"I am in fact, not busy," He said briskly.

"Ok," You responded slowly, not sure how else to react. "So...you'll come by later tonight...maybe? If you're not busy?"

"Look outside."

"What?"

"Look outside."

Confused, but deciding to trust him, you hesitantly turned and peeked out the window, nearly fainting when you caught sight of the familiar silver-haired figure standing stiffly but patiently on your doorstep, his phone passed up against his ear. You locked eyes in less than a few seconds, and as you were rather sternly staring at each other, he leaned into the phone and said,

"May I come in?"

"S-sure..." You whispered, lingering in front of the window for a few moments before remembering that he didn't have a key, and subsequently hurrying to the door to open it for him. Sephiroth had hung up the phone by the time you managed to stutter out a greeting, so you did the same and flashed him an appreciative smile; Sephiroth gave you a sweet little smirk in return.

"You look troubled," He remarked, as soon as he was inside your house. "What bothers you?"

"Oh, uhh," You ended up fumbling for words, your brain suddenly drawing a blank and your throat beginning to seize up as you immediately regretted asking Sephiroth to come over.

Truthfully, you were feeling a little down and slightly insecure about a lot of things, most of them physical in nature, and thought having him around would cheer you up. Because the man was almost as dense as a brick, you figured he wouldn't notice your mood shift and would simply spend the evening with you the way he normally did. The fact that he had picked up on your emotions proved that either he was more emotionally intelligent than he let on, or your feelings were written all over your face.

"I-I'm fine," You managed to stutter out at last, then spent the next few minutes mumbling gibberish under your breath, trying to think of an excuse to hide your clearly disgruntled expression.

"Don't bother lying to me," Sephiroth finally spoke, placing a large, warm, comforting hand on your shoulder. "Tell me. Come on."

Blowing out a huge sigh, you plopped onto the nearby couch and fully deflated, your body sinking into the airy cushions. Sephiroth followed you, his large frame perfect for snuggling into, which you did, burying your head into the crook of his neck as you did so.

"I'm just...feeling like crap today." You finally confessed, after a few long moments of silence.

"Hm. Why?"

"I dunno..." You trailed off again, struggling to put your feelings into words.

"It's alright," Sephiroth said consolingly, patting your shoulder. "I understand." He pulled you into his chest and held you there, stroking your hair while you sighed, shut your eyes, and just lay there.

"I don't deserve you, Seph," You whispered after gathering the courage to speak. "Thanks for being here."

"So that is what this is all about." Sephiroth had apparently figured you out. "You feel inadequate. How ridiculous." You felt tears pricking at your eyes from that remark, which stung you more than it should have. Before you knew it, you were crying. Not fully sobbing and wailing in grief, but there were visible tears streaming down your face and soaking into Sephiroth's clothes. He obviously felt their presence, and responded by patting your back gently.

"That is not what I meant," You heard him clarify. "It is ridiculous for you to feel inadequate, is what I was trying to say. You are more than worthy. More than perfect. I don't deserve you."

"No!" You suddenly exploded, speaking louder than you wanted. "I'm ugly...and I look weird...and...and you're not. You're so smart, and strong, and confident, and handsome...everyone loves you, but they'll never love me."

"What are you saying?" Sephiroth suddenly demanded, "Who does not love you? Give me their names."

"No, no, no, no," You quickly piped up, worried he would run off and do something you'd both regret. "No names. No names. I don't have any names."

"Then why are you so concerned with others' opinions, especially if you don't know who they are?"

You had to admit that he made a good point. Why did you care in the first place?

"Their thoughts are unimportant and meaningless," You heard him continue, "The only words that matter are mine." When you looked at him questioningly, he added, "and yours."

Once again, he had a good point.

"I...yeah...you're right," You found yourself admitting meekly, already beginning to feel ashamed of yourself for not realizing this sooner. "I needed that."

"Never forget that," Sephiroth informed you, pressing a small kiss on your forehead. "And should you ever need a reminder, simply call me."

"OK," You chuckled, feeling better in an instant, though that kiss probably had a lot to do with it. "Thank you."

Sephiroth answered you with another kiss, this one planted on your lips, and proceeded to smush you against his chest, which you had fo admit, was the most comfortable place to be.

[clown-demon]

((Also want to say-- I know I talked to like.. NO ONE yesterday.. not even Kitten. I just slept all day to cope.. but honestly, the ONLY reason I fought my demons so hard to stay alive and not give into the urge to off myself, is my friends. I love you guys, even if we don't talk much.. I still cherish our friendships... If it weren't for my friends, I would have given in right after I got home from being laid off...

But... I fought really hard... cuz I know the pain it causes when losing someone when they end their lives early.. I didn't want to put any of my friends through that.. so I battled it and tried my best to survive...

[pleaseinsertwittyurl]

There are always 2 sides.

The discourse around Louis and Lestat being a victim and abuser and nothing more drives me insane.

Something i don't think enough people remember is that the very same reason the fight began in 1×05 (lestat grabbing claudia by the throat when she tries to "take louis away") we see Louis himself do to her in 1×07 when she tries to get Louis to burn Lestat.

They BOTH would harm her rather than live in a world without the other. They are both guilty of abusing her and each other.

There is an implication that a good deal of time passed between Louis and Lestat meeting and the church. Louis expresses that he shares himself with Lestat in a way he only had with Paul. I would assume that goes both ways, to a degree. We know Louis knows at least enough about Nicki to discourage Claudia poking that wound. He also clearly knows that the threat of leaving is his most powerful weapon against Lestat.

Mental abuse is abuse. And Louis abused Lestat mentally for years. Shaming him, ridiculing him, shutting him out, manipulating him into making Claudia (a traumatic moment for him, whether Louis understands the depths of it or not) by promising to give him what he's being denying him, promising to never put him through what he fears the most.

Louis admits to purposely making Lestat suffer. He admits he was warned that Claudia would suffer and he wanted her anyway because he needed to feel redeemed. He is not innocent. He is not a trapped, weak victim. He made choices to hurt both Lestat and Claudia time and time again.

Does this justify Lestat's actions in 1×05? Obviously not. But we now know Louis was not willing to stop the fight. He taunted Lestat the same way he taunted the Alderman. He was unleashing years of frustrations just as Lestat was. His priority was not to protect Claudia, it was to hurt Lestat, consequences be damned.

I hate the drop scene as much as the next person and Lestat has admitted he will never earn forgiveness for what he did. But if you view Louis as some squeaky clean victim who was manipulated, trapped, and abused by Lestat you are missing so much of what this show is conveying.

We will always tend to paint ourselves as the hero of our own story. It is hard to accept your faults or that you hurt people you love. It is much easier to shift that blame on to someone else, to frame them as the villian. But life is not usually that black and white. Claudia had harsh words for them both in her diary, even before they got to Europe, for a reason. They both made hurtful mistakes with her, both treated her like a pawn in their relationship instead of a person, both harmed her, took away her choice, never prioritized her.

That is the great tragedy. That she never had a choice and was not allowed to be her own person. And in the end, they both are responsible for her misery and her death. That's what makes the reunion scene so important. They have been grieving her and carrying that guilt alone, all the while longing for the comfort of the other for 70+ years. Louis has found clarity in his memories, he has accepted his role in their suffering, he has seen Lestat's perspective more fully. Lestat is broken, totally consumed with that guilt and grief. Both know that although they cannot change what they've done, they can forgive the other, even if they can't forgive themselves. They can love each other despite everything they've done to one another because they cannot stop loving each other. But now they can try to rebuild that love from the rubble.

[d1sc01nf3rn0]

I'm seeing a lot of people with neurodivergency, specially under the autism spectrum say that "Laios is annoying, never shuts up, is insensitive, and I can't stand him"; and the irony is not lost on me lmao.

[simplepotatofarmer]

i think i've been sad lately because a lot of things have changed with the way i see people and the fandom space and realizing how common place this sort of cruelness and denial of room for growth is.

[ghostoffuturespast]

Honestly, getting real tired carrying and supporting other folks around here when most of them aren't returning the favor...

[sskk-manifesto]

Proof that bsd would be a lot better if they just let it pass the Bechdel test more often

[pekoeboo]

ugh. some thoughts.

really been trying to find the joy in drawing/writing again and honestly it's been such a challenge. friends have told me it's most likely depression that's making it hard to feel motivated and tbh they're probably right.

hoping to get back into being creative in the way I Want to be at some point tho. I miss it. there's still so much with my stories and characters that I haven't been able to share or explain and I wish I knew how without it feeling like this daunting, impossible task.

I don't know when I'll get around to actually sharing art again (or writing, if ever). was hoping that I'd manage to get some of my mental and physical issues in check recently for just long enough to get back into the swing of being creative, but that hasn't seemed to work. everything feels bad, both artistically and physically. I'm struggling to keep up with the frantic pace at which my brain comes up with story concepts and intriguing character interactions, even tho everything in me wishes I could turn it into tangible artistic expression so I can get it out of my head and share it. it used to be easy. I don't know why it's not now.

I'm just . tired, I guess.

[akko-kagori]

want a drink ? .-.

yes TT

[cheridraws]

art versus artist, 2023

[fishparasite]

i often write about weird romances or at least romantic adjacent relationships but i truly never know how to end them. a murder suicide doesn't always work. but they can't leave each other and they can't stay together.

[motherhenna]

wanted to share an almost full-body pic for the first time in probably almost a decade because for once I'm actually proud of how I'm progressing and think that the changes I'm making will end up being permanent bc I'm genuinely enjoying them. Plus, the few selfies I have shared over the last five years have been very photoshopped and at flattering angles, so I feel like most of y'all don't know what I actually look like. So this is me in my children's theater teacher fit last monday!

I'm 17 lbs down from my highest ever weight, but my trainer thinks I'm probably up at least ten to fifteen lbs in muscle. I'm cooking my own food, eating more reasonable portions, and going to the gym at least five times a week because I want to, not because I feel shame or guilt. And now that I'm working as hard as I am, I'm a lot less triggered by looking at new pictures of myself because I know I'm doing my best. I'm still obese, and probably will be for awhile more, but I'm starting to appreciate what I look like and feel like. And hopefully it'll just get better from here!

[thedreadvampy]

I tried listening to Olivia Rodrigo and I'm sure this is really good for its target audience of Teen Girls Going Through A Breakup but has she actually ever put out a song that isn't about a guy cheating, breaking up with her and moving on to someone else?

like babe he's not coming back it's been 2 years you gotta find something else in your life

[dragonji]

been talking to my transfem coworker a lot more abt our respective gender (and sometimes romance) complications/plans lately and genuinely it like. simultaneously makes me feel pretty cringe and silly to admit i do in fact want things but also its smth I never thought I'd get to have and thus kind of mindblowingly really reasurring and lovely and special. No other point to be made here just that it rly is kind of lifechanging to be a trans person w trans friends👍

[cherrylight]

ever just wish you were confident enough to express yourself freely without thinking that everyone ever will be bored or disinterested in what you have to say or is that just a me thing