#I'm so very unwell about them

[runawaymun]

She can never remember Doctor Baizhu's face, but Qiqi doesn't mind.

Her baba is so much more than just a face. To her, he is a warm hug, a gentle laugh, a source of endless kindness, and he smells like home.

[eyes-of-nine]

truly what a guy

[angryducktimemachine]

Guys be like I don't give a shit about romance and then sigh dreamily thinking about their favourite Victorian couple.

it's me I'm the guy.

❌ This post is NOT about Sherlock Holmes and John Watson ❌

✅ this post is about Archie Cartwright and James Stallion ✅

[dxxtruction]

Personally, I think the “That’s how it happened right? You standing in my blood, stroking my hair?” Was how it happened. Louis is just super detached from that headspace he was in before, and validly wanting not to have it be true that he didn’t, at one time, care about Claudia being gone, would be reasonable, and in character. Blaming Armand, partly, for why things got to be like that is correct. Though in this instance is misdirected to include things Armand did not in fact do to get it to be like that, but had, very much, done in a recent unrelated incident. He's essentially combining two events together to get it to align with his current set of beliefs. (Surely everyone's looked back on a situation before and saw it differently given time to think or feel differently about it. Get differing information, and so on. The show is directing us to that a lot, if not making it one of its major themes.)

But I say this is probably, almost definitely, the case, because Louis story beats need to be told accurately lest it take away from his character arc, as well his whole character and its complexity. Obstructing from his, very powerful, highly emotionally driven, story in a way that's frankly offensive. Armand having total and complete control over it, is bullshit. While, he does this though, to himself. Does a character armor on himself to get away from his own flaws, and role, in how things came about. Not intentionally, because it is emotional, and a lot of times just a result of blocking out that trauma. But this is something he’s seen doing often - Not remembering situations in the light in which they’re most accurate, and in so doing painting himself better sometimes, and others worse. Straight up forgetting, or overlooking information, and so never reevaluating why certain things came about until this moment. Not accurately applying the emotions of then, to the way he feels about it now, because he can't, or couldn't previously, actually remember it in that way. As he doesn't connect to those feelings, even those memories. His feelings in a lot of ways keep clouding his memories and his judgments of them.

Daniel gets at this too, where he brings up the tapes, and how Louis was basically just raving the whole time, and this story all happened differently then. It's the same story beats, yes, but it's all so emotionally different to the point where information gets completely changed around, even looked at like it's forcefully constructed to be a certain way, and not actually, therefore, accurate. Louis always tells an emotional story, and that’s important. It places him in time and continuum, in his own history as opposed to outside of it. That’s like, I think a history that can’t be overlooked, even if it's a history that's subject to change. And shouldn't history be? Shouldn't we look back on events that took place in our lives differently? Isn't that how any society grows? And why shouldn't Louis judgments be clouded by his emotions when that's the reason for most any other characters actions? Isn't that the story being told here?

[papasmistakeria]

Made another chart, this time my observation on the Johns

[katsigian]

ᴠ ᴀ ʟ ᴇ ɴ ' ꜱ ʟ ᴏ ʀ ᴇ 007. ⁺ ───────────── ⁺

⤷ ℑ 𝔡𝔬𝔫'𝔱 𝔥𝔞𝔳𝔢 𝔞 𝔠𝔥𝔬𝔦𝔠𝔢. ℑ 𝔥𝔞𝔳𝔢 𝔱𝔬 𝔡𝔬 𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱

ℑ'𝔪 𝔟𝔢𝔰𝔱 𝔞𝔱

I'm reframing how I describe Valen's particular set of skills. He was raised in a criminal syndicate, his dad taught him how to be a good criminal, he routinely does criminal things. I think he tries to keep it contained and be civil, but there's times where he can't and doesn't want to. He spent 8 of his formative childhood/teenager years in a gang being taught by a father who wanted nothing more than to see him become a useful piece of said gang.

Valen is a gangster/thug at his core whether he likes it or not (spoiler: he does).

Imagine someone's bothering his husband Nathan while they're out, or maybe someone from his past returns and scares/upsets him. Or maybe somebody is threatening/interfering a person close to him, or he's working with Reid and it feels really good being in a gang again.

Guess Valen doesn't have a choice and has to act like a thug again.

Truth be told, Valen enjoys being a threat. Enjoys the aggression and the violence. It's in his blood, it's where he came from. He gets a certain kind of charismatic assuredness when he's given the green light to be a thug. He's a violent, loyal guard dog who's so devoted that it corrupts him, so of course he gets a bit of delight from doing what he's made to do.

The situation happens where someone doesn't listen when he tells them to leave, let's say Vesper, alone, only for them to continue being a pest and harassing him, then Valen will just have to act like the gangster he was raised to be. I think the criminal in him comes out a little too easy and I think he enjoys it more than he lets on. There's a large part of him that rejoices because it feels right.

Afterwards, there's not much guilt at all. There's the feeling of satisfaction knowing that he protected someone he loves. But there's also the feeling of relief. Valen relieved because he was able to do what he's best at and he feels like himself again. All because he got to be a gangster again, like he was raised to be.

Maybe it's not good, but Valen doesn't mind. He's always known that he's the one who can do all of the bad things and dirty his hands just for the benefit of someone else. He'd rather he be the one labeled as a mean dog than someone he loves. Valen can handle it, can handle the weight of his actions, not everyone else can. If him being a gangster keeps someone else safe, then there's really no reason for him not to.

(Both Valen and I are well aware that this isn't exactly healthy, but he genuinely doesn't care that much. Valen is very self aware and knows what he is. He makes sure others know what he is and allows them to choose whether they stay or not. He enjoys that part of him too much to ever just put it down. He's unable to anyway. He's tried, and it felt like losing a limb. Completely ceasing that kind of behaviour would be cutting off a substantial chunk of his personality.)

[quatregats]

They love each other so much <3

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

dawg my body is so ready for seeing your human versions of the gang. like the need to draw these sillies is JUST TOO DAMN GREAT--(please don't take this as "OMG HURRY UP", i'm just very excited to see your interpretations!)

well shit now i gotta buckle down on brushing up + improving upon my human scribbling skills, which - meager to begin with - have deteriorated due to Puppet Disease (and i say this with playful exasperation. i've been needing an excuse to Practice and this is a damn good one)

though i will say! i'll be adhering to the ~canon~ human versions we've been gifted via Clown's pokemon au. ofc since we don't know what Howdy, Poppy, Sally, and Eddie look like, i'll have to think of something myself

[forcedhesitation]

*wheeze* slowly, but surely, working on art of them all

[hekateinhell]

Trying so hard to think of something silly or sweet to lift the mood tonight so voila: that line in tva when Armand’s about to drink from Lestat in the chapel and notices that his hair is all messy because no one bothered to comb it

I just think that Armand should get to comb Lestat’s hair 🥹 he sits him in his lap and is so careful to not snag on any knots and you just know he does the one hundred strokes to get Lestat’s hair perfectly shiny and soft

You're so sweet, thank you 😭❤️

And yes, that's one of my all-time favorite scenes!

Armand is only one in the whole room allowed to touch him! Lestat killed anyone else who came near him and Armand doesn't even hesitate to reach out and fix his hair! Lestat saying he wanted comb Armand's curls and polish him up with kiss in MtD, but now it's Armand who's grooming him and kissing him!

I looked down on Lestat, who was unchanged, his hair fallen as before, a little over his left eye. His right arm was out, and his fingers curling upwards, and there came from him not the slightest movement, not even a breath from his lungs or a sigh from his pores.

I knelt down beside him again. I reached out, and without flinching or hesitating, I brushed his hair back from his face.

I could feel the shock in the room. I heard the sighs, the gasps from the others. But Lestat himself didn't stir.

Slowly, I brushed his hair more tenderly, and I saw to my own mute shock one of my tears fall right onto his face. ~ Armand, TVA

He should get to comb Lestat's hair always, okay? He deserves it. 🤧

[happi-tree]

is it midnight? yes. but i had to get this concept out there before it ate me alive. the swiftlis are rotting my brain fr!!!

[b-blushes]

you know when you're in da overwhelm zone due to Circumstances that you don't really have power over. well it's really hard to deescalate from that i am finding!

HOWEVER i am attempting:

FACING THE THINGS because the longer they loom. the longer they are looming for.

regular breaks from Addressing Everything

regular snacks/meals/drinks

prioritising

postponing stuff that can be left until later (But watch out!)

doing other things in advance that are easy to do now (such as stockpiling meals ready for feeling more ill)

asking for help where i can

[kumakuma-circus]

just randomly remembered that during my like 10+ attempts at the shadow yukiko fight i more or less consistently ran out of revival beads so yosuke was just dead (well unconscious but whatever) on the ground for like half the fight gfhfjvhfhfhd-

[rocksanddeadflowers]

Me: stays up all night to write a tiny mechanisms violinspector fanfic I had a sudden burst of inspiration for bc brainrot

The glass of milk and spoon of peanut butter I had for dinner and 10 mg of melatonin I took 4 hours ago to help me sleep:

[bataranqs]

10 Happy Things

May 11, 2024

Slept most of the day let's gooo

My bed and clothes are so warm and cozy

Called my mom and apparently she was out with people but she stepped outside to talk to me for a bit before going back to them and just feeling very very loved

My mom called me back and I talked to my sisters for nearly two hours hwjoiegdjkl we're just absolute nerds the lot of us

The Bible Plan I've been doing these past few days is just re-looking at everything from the basis of just get right with God, are you following Jesus and it's been very comforting to have that reminder like it is relational, it is supposed to be a delightful life we're living, there's no stress at all about doing x or y and if you're supposed to, it will not be anything but good

I can't really move my toes individually (except the ones at the ends) and I think it's kinda cute. They're a pack. They're friends. Do Not Separate.

The Tim Horton's White Hot Chocolate is so insanely good

Dungeon Meshi is such a good manga broooo

There are so many joys that I don't think I'll run out of them, and isn't that just the most delightful thing ever?

When I started this list I was feeling a little tired but now I'm quite happy and excited!! I'm so grateful to Katie for getting me into this, and my friends who also do stuff like this

[eldrichthingy]

I'm so unwell about Dark Urge and Astarion walking around covered in blood. In my head they're holding hands while doing so btw